#what about this is explicit?
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i feel like this is a topic that needs more than just a tumblr post to fully expand on but. i think that in modern-day christian culture we place WAY too much emphasis on Feeling and Emotion . and i think that this attitude is part of the reason why the most common struggle you hear is "God isn't speaking to me/I can't hear God". feels like the standard set is that you're constantly feeling a Supernatural presence and it's Big and Obvious and it Shows and you can't contain it... when that's just not it. God can be quiet. God can nudge. God's voice is contained in the Bible that you hold between your hands. If you're not "hearing Him" then maybe your expectation of what hearing Him is is flawed.
#julia.txt#the culture around worship.... around Feeling and Performing those feelings#the misuse of the Holy Spirit#the 'well if you're convicted then dont do it but if you're not its fine'#the 'do what feels right for you'#like no actually. we have God's will in written form#its not about What We Feel. its about what is Written#and sometimes even if something is not addressed explicitely word for word in the Bible#you can still very easily discern God's will about it#<- now this is an unrelated tangent#but you get what i mean#not to mention the whole speaking in tongues thing#faith posting#THE HEART IS WICKED AND DECEITFUL ABOVE ALL THINGS!!!
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I saw The Brutalist yesterday, and after digesting it, the one thought i keep coming to (perhaps unfairly; it is a great movie) is that i find the amount of sexual violence is films nowadays very disturbing. Not that it's not a theme worth exploring, or one that can't ever be brought up in a meaningful and respectful way, but this over representation suggests that society at large is becoming more accustomed to it. I really do think we owe it to the generalisation of porn. By my account, in 2024 alone, we had sexual violence, outright rape and/or sexual exploitation appear in (spoilers):
The Brutalist
Anora
Joker 2
The Apprentice
Dune 2
The Count of Monte Cristo (2024)
Nosferatu
Alien: Romulus (for those who haven't seen it, yes, it's exactly as bad as you imagine ie: not a metaphor)
The Bikeriders
Love Lies Bleeding
It Ends With Us
Megalopolis (sort of)
Babygirl
Better Man
That's just at the top of my head.
Even in films which don't involve explicit rape, sexual scenes are often violent or imply violence, either physical or psychological. Violence to others, AND violence to the self. Like the sex scene in The Substance between Sue and her no-name boyfriend, in which she is very dominant and aggressive (which is not depicted as a good thing because this sexual power she gained from a new young body is just an illusion of power). Better Man shows the casual exploitation of young men including at least one minor in a very sexual setting (gay clubs) to make their producer money. In Babygirl, the main character's professional career and personal life are threatened by her "submissive/dominant" "role play" affair. etc. etc.
There is also a recurring theme of wanting to escape one's body or transform it (Emilia Perez, Nightbitch, The Substance, Conclave, A Different Man, even Better Man to an extent are all examples of this), which seems connected, especially when body horror is involved.
I don't know, maybe i'm exaggerating, but it really feels like there is this constant anxiety surrounding sex which permeates all art forms because it's a real societal concern, and i truly believe the ubiquity of violent pornography is to blame. I can't think of a single scene of genuine, loving sex. Or even a genuine romance in general.
It's concerning and no media outlet is really bringing it up (because it's uncomfortable to think about, probably, but still).
#it's like… the West and especially Americans have always been a bit disturbed about sex but this is reaching new heights#of both obsession and fear#on the one hand i wonder if it's not also tied to the fact that women are playing more active characters and are more visible in films now#if you compare the oscars noms in 2015 to todays it's OVERWHELMINGLY male-centered#so you might think it's connected. except. of the films i've mentioned at least three or four have (explicit or implied) male victims#so what gives???
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banging my head against the wall every time I see someone reblogging a post of mine with tags mentioning the ‘unrequited confession’. we have been OVER this it is NOT a case of unrequited romantic love it is completely canonically up in the air as a possibility. listen to jayden revri himself and be enlightened i am begging you
#rambling#payneland#also getting recommended posts with this rhetoric fhdhfjdhd it’s just annoying cause it’s like. misinformation#if that scene was actually a rejection I’d feel a lot worse about this show as a whole like really it Matters that it’s not#do you really think Superhell 2: Escape From Superhell would be a good idea. because I feel like they’re actively trying to counter those#kinds of damaging or at least exhausting and overdone queer tropes#tragic unrequited gay boy hopelessly in love with his best friend suffering forever because he’s gay#is. exactly the kind of exhausting overdone queer trope that almost unequivocally makes me lose a lot of respect for a show#so it is very very very important to me that this is. not that. and the actors have cemented that fact openly#please………..please just listen to the words being said………don’t conflate uncertainty with rejection……..take my hand#that’s not to say edwin didn’t TAKE it as a rejection. because based on what he says to niko he absolutely did#which will make it all the more juicy when what he thinks is impossible starts to become real and within reach. eventually. hopefully#also- less explicit- but Charles’ hand-on-heart thing after their last hug… like you really don’t have to be a film major#(saying this as a film major) to deduce what that means and what its calling back to. it’s pretty easy to put 2+2 together there#but anyway. I digress
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while twst is in maintenance hell i feel like yapping jdjsn
this is also brought to you by me recently watching the minecraft movie which got me remembering how i started writing fanfic bc of telltale’s minecraft story mode -> then reminiscing about how i started drawing out of spite bc of an otome game by SOLMARE SHALL WE DATE -> realizing how i’ve had the same type in characters since i was A LOT younger bc i was also playing otome games even before i started drawing
anyways. say hi to the one of the first ever fictional characters that i fell for






i’m going to walk into the ocean i’ve always liked pretty-looking men with rbf and gap moe 🚶
#[—✦ rambling#:personal#yes i was too young#yes i should have not have had unsupervised access to the internet and the apple app store specifically#i wasnt even double digits that was how young i was#this is from an old (also discontinued) game by solmare shall we date#compared to obey me this game is A LOT MORE mature and suggestive#it’s funny i played this on ipad with the old UI they used to have 😭#also. THE FEATHER ACCESSORY WHAT THE HELL ALSNNDKSXM#I ONLY NOTICED WHEN I WAS GOOGLING HIS SPRITES AND CGS#///#“how did minecraft story mode got u into writing fanfic”#it's bc i had a crush on one character and was in denial about it#my fanfic writer origin story as god intended#my day is ruined /j#i say as i reread those old fics and letting myself take psychic damage#i started writing oc fics before fanfics so i at least i had SOME experience lmao???#there were a /few/ actually hard-hitting lines from 11yrold me until i get hit with psychic damage again#this is a minecraft fanfic what the hell#also just to clarify the solmare swd era is different from the mcsm era#girl howd i go from suggestive/explicit otome games to Minecraft#rereading this is an entire journey lmaoo#if you’ve read this far hi thanks 😭🫶
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Silm Advent calendar 7: Light
(thank you @edennill for your headcanons, here's a small hc of mine)
Varda smiled, looking at the young Noldo bowing nervously before her. Despite being named “the spirit of fire”, he wore pale blue and yellow, both clean narrow hues, but not too narrow, matching the outer colors of the Treelight surprisingly well for something made by an incarnate.
“I want to show you something, my lady.” There was a tone of anxiety in Feanáro's voice. Why?
He pulled out an ornate box which shone richly from the inside and opened it—
They were beautiful. A harmony of two lights, resulting in a wide and balanced white, almost like a reflection of the light in her face. This brilliance was the fairest thing ever made on Arda, surpassing the glorious lights made by the Valar, even though it was born from two of them. Three gems in perfect harmony with each other. Almost too beautiful for this marred world, like a pure sound of a violin, narrow, and impossible for the imperfect beings to harmonize with.

She reached for them but stopped, waiting for permission.
“I love them dearly,” said Feanaro apologetically. “But of course, if you wish to take a look at them, I would be honored… Forgive me, o queen, but I feel— I feel they are so vulnerable, so — they are near impossible to destroy and yet — I do fear for them.” The last part he was almost a whisper.
Varda nodded. Light could only shine where it could be touched, of course. And what could be touched could now also be hurt. Did the Elves not know it? It was difficult to distinguish what was new to them and what they would consider too obvious to even mention.
She studied the scared prince. The best she could do for him was to put some thin glass to protect the light a little and hope for the best. Half-measures, always half-measures. But that was the way with incarnates, wasn't it?
She took the gems and kissed them gently. They were warm and alive, even though unmoving, and they rejoiced seeing her.
No wonder Feanáro loved them.
“Neither evil nor hand unclean shall touch you and stay unharmed,” she said. “Nor a mortal man—” she paused, seeing the Elf’s expression. What was he surprised about?
Anyway, the blessing was done, for good or for ill.
She kissed the gems farewell and gave them back to the prince. “Thank you.”
She rarely spoke, indeed, but some occasions were worth it.
#silm#silmarillion#tolkien legendarium#silm advent calendar#the silm#the silmarillion#varda#feanor#feanaro#silmarils#being cute#the valar and their understanding of elves#...what do you mean they don't know what a mortal man is???#also yes the hallowing of silmarils was consensual#i mean she does not explicitely ask but a) fefe seemed fine with it b) fefe was fine with it c) again the understanding of elves...#what do you mean he might have not liked it#d) she did check if she could take them or touch them or what does fefe want from her#and yes that's how i imagine it happenned#more or less#maybe in a more official way with more people present#and maybe fefe was less awkward about it#also: yes Varda totally sees light as it is (ie the spectrum not the three colors) (idk how to exlain better)#anyway you know fefe was ok with the valar until some point#and with showing his shinies to others#but i imagine he was emotional and somewhat insecure about them from the start#because he made them from his grief (and the trees that too)#rambling in the tags#silm shortfic#eri draws
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you don't have to be gentle.
#queue'll be in my heart#(i wasn't doing anything last night. i dont know what youre talking about i totally wasnt thinking impure thoughts;)#(sjdjsjjds I CANT PUT THIS ON MY ART BLOG 😭 SO ITS GOING HERE 😭 BEAR WITH ME)#cw. explicit.#(<- actually not really... but...)#admin art 🤍#calmiki ✨#caleb; as the skyline splits in two
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