#what a wonderful ending. tiergan writing sad gay poetry
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gay-otlc · 2 years ago
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Tma/Kotlc AU (incomplete)
So, I'm never gonna finish this, but the 800 words I did write were pretty good. And now I am posting them.
@aphelea @solreefs @xanadaus (i didn't get past season 1 so it's spoiler free) @ anyone else who is in both fandoms, I don't remember
Prentice is Jon, Tiergan is Martin, Cyrah is Sasha, Juline is Tim, and Sophie is Jane Prentiss (funky worm lady <2)
Uhhh content warnings for canon typical worms and canon typical worm sex
Without further ado
Prentice: Well, this statement is obviously fake.
Cyrah: (amused) You can't just say that abouteverystatement.
Prentice: All of them sound so fake! Listen to this. "I was stalking my weird neighbor who ate paper and then she turned into a completely different person. But conveniently, no one else noticed that Biana is 'Not!Biana' now." 
Cyrah: Maybe it's real.
Prentice: You would think, if some malevolent entity were to take over Biana's life, they would be thorough enough that no one else noticed. Or if they were sloppy enough that Stina Heks could give a statement about her, someone else would have noticed. 
Cyrah: Maybe they're very good at making sure only one person notices, and no one else. Maybe I'm Not!Cyrah and you have no idea.
Prentice: That's not funny.
Cyrah: (jokingly eerie voice) I am possessed by the Wraith! Everything about me has changed. I love math now! The horror, the horror! 
Prentice: That's really not funny.
Cyrah: Maybe you're Not!Prentice. (bad imitation of Prentice's voice) I trust every statement I read, I hate garlic bread, and Tiergan is my best friend now!
Prentice: That is not what I sound like.
Cyrah: Don't be ridiculous, that's exactly how your voice sounds. Why would it take the Wraith possessing you for you to like Tiergan, anyway? He's not that bad.
Prentice: I don't know. He just gets on my nerves. He's completely unqualified for this job and his handwriting is theworst so I can never read his reports and-
Cyrah: And he's cute?
Prentice: Listen, if you're not going to help me organize these statements, you can get out of my office.
Cyrah: Okay, okay. (pages flipping) This statement isn't supposed to be funny but it is. Imagine you're Maruca Chebota and some shady dude delivers a coffin to you, so you use it as a coffee table for a year. You don't report it to the police or anything. It's just your coffee table now.
Prentice: See what I mean? There's no way that really happened. 
Cyrah: How are you gonna work at the Loki Institute and still be a die hard skeptic?
Prentice: I'm just special, I guess.
---
Juline: Have you read the worm sex statement?
Tiergan: ...the what?
Juline: The worm sex statement! Did I stutter?
Tiergan: No, I have not read that. What the fuck.
Juline: Oh. Well, basically, the statement is by Fintan Pyren. He was flirting with a guy named Bronte and while they were talking he found out Bronte was recently attacked by someone who matches our description of Sophie Foster. Then they had sex. Then Bronte exploded into worms. The end.
Tiergan: ...wow. Okay. Does Prentice think it's real?
Juline: You know him, he doesn't think any of these statements are real. I think it is, though. You can't make up shit like that. 
Tiergan: Yeah, it sounds too weird to be fake. I'll do some research into this Sophie Foster worm person.
Juline: (sarcastically) That sounds really fun.
Tiergan: I am not getting paid enough for this shit.
---
Prentice: Where's Tiergan?
Juline: Awww, you're worried about him?
Prentice: What- no- I- (clears throat) I wanted to know if he'd done any more research on the death of Jensi Babblos. 
Juline: Which one was that?
Prentice: The one who was afraid of spiders.
Juline: Right. Anyway, he said he was going to check out Jensi's old apartment, but I haven't heard from him since.
Prentice: Hmm. I'm not surprised he can't be bothered to come in to work today. Or even finish his investigation.
Juline: Maybe he was attacked by worms. 
---
(door slams open)
Prentice: Tiergan, please, I'm in the middle of something-
Tiergan: I was attacked by worms!
Prentice: ...that's unfortunate.
Tiergan: No shit. The Loki Institute might want to install a worm security system.
Prentice: A worm security system? What, exactly, does a worm security system entail?
Tiergan: Fire extinguishers.
Prentice: Fire extinguishers?
Tiergan: The worms were attacking my house, so I defended myself with a fire extinguisher-
Prentice: You defended yourself with a fire extinguisher? 
Tiergan: I panicked, okay? And it worked. 
Prentice: Fine. The Institute can get more fire extinguishers. You think Foster might attack this place?
Tiergan: There's a chance. I haven't seen her in a while, but she might still be following me. I don't think she likes me very much.
Prentice: (muttering) Well, the worms and I have something in common.
Tiergan: What?
Prentice: Nothing. Thank you for letting me know. Is that all? 
Tiergan: Yes.
Prentice: Great. You can go now.
---
Tiergan: I don't think Prentice likes me very much.
Cyrah: (with fake surprise) Oh my god, really?
Tiergan: What did I ever do to him?
Cyrah: He's just kind of an asshole. Why do you care if he likes you, anyway?
Tiergan: ...no reason.
Cyrah: Are you going to go write sad gay poetry about him in your notebook?
Tiergan: (clearly lying) No.
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