#what a weirdly frequent but confusing turn of events | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mamamittens · 2 months ago

Note

Hi! I'm Andreas, with Koala and Kaku as serial killers. They have a paper bag with white, pop rock covered chocolate oranges. They have jolly ranchers, Swedish fish, malts and fireballs in there! We all share a black rose and hot damn, then chase it with a Jager bomb and brain hemorrhage.

Pick of the Lot (+18)

This ask is part of the Spooktober 2024 Event, for context!

Summary:

Andy had lived on the outskirts of his hometown all his life and would likely die here too. Never quite one for the city, he'd made his bones with a quiet, unassuming existence. Alone. But maybe not anymore. Two of his closest friends, from way back when he frequently raided wild berry brambles with a gap toothed smile, have rolled into town once more. And they claim they're there to stay. Just as promised.

The problem is that Andy doesn't remember any promise--and he better remember quickly. They're quite insistent he keeps up his end of the deal.

(Fae!yandere!Koala/Andy(OC)/Fae!yandere!Kaku)

(ask was changed by request shortly after sending it to Fae partners, I didn't just change it without asking lol)

Warnings: Dubious consent (fae magic bullshit), implied drugging, implied mind break, yandere vibes, anal, praise kink, rough sex, overstimulation, and breeding kink.

Word Count: 8,135

There was a house behind Andy’s.

It’s a little odd, if Andy was being honest. But odd like thinking he had placed the remote on the cushion next to they when it was, instead, in the floor, kind of odd. Something strange just to the left of normalcy yet familiar. Damn near mundane.

He could have sworn there was just woods back there—and to be honest there still was. The trees—having recovered from the forest fire some years past—practically eating the cozy two story house painted a dark, weathered green. It almost blended with the woods themselves, the grass tickling up the steps with moss and mushrooms flourishing at its feet. There was no real path up to what could only be the back porch. Just a vast stretch of yard until it hit the covered steps.

When the wind blew across the space between them, the tips of little white mushroom peaked in a meandering line. A small gap perfectly between their own back door and theirs.

Whoever they were.

Andy scrunched their nose, ignoring the way it made their scars itch.

It was weird.

The longer he stared the more their mind warred with itself.

There should not be a house there.

But there was always a house there.

He remembers hazily getting a scar on their knee tripping up those back steps in their excitement as a little boy. Crying as someone their age hushed them with an amused chuckle. In fact, Andy looked down and pulled up their pajama bottom, scanning their skin for the soft mark.

And there it was.

An odd, curving mark just below their kneecap.

Unsure what to make of this, Andy turned away and meandered back to their office. Hopeful that whatever strange confusion he was experiencing would resolve itself before he called for an ambulance. Back to their research project he was being paid good money for with all the ear markings of a ridiculously melodramatic wrap up.

Andy got out of the house plenty, but never really with other people. So, the most interesting part of their day usually consisted of whatever odd thing he picked up from the forest floor. Usually, weird sticks or shed animal horns. Sometimes pretty rocks. They all made good craft projects so he kept doing it. Sometimes he went into town to get stuff and people watched a little. It wasn’t much, but he found a nice living with it all the same. Occasionally he’d be called in to help find a lost kid—which he was weirdly good at and attributed to all their time spent in the forests back when he was a kid themself and now.

So, to have something so odd happen in their literal back yard was wild. Even worse was the dizzying sensation going through their head.

He knew the house.

But he hadn’t seen it there before in their life.

But he really, really had.

It made them nauseous. Forcing them to lean their head against the wall and close their eyes, chilled plaster sticking to their skin as he breathed in deep.

Memories flickered in their head. Faintly, at first, and then all at once.

A lifetime ago.

Their knees shook with the effort of pinning their face to the wall instead of the floor. Muscles trembling as a sickening tidal wave washed across their body. Heat pricking their skin and eyes as he gasped for air, the once refreshing coolness now like ice in their lungs. Walls and floors and walls and ceiling twisting together. The smack of hardwood against their face an echo of a memory.

Memory…

Andy remembered.

That was their best friends’ house and it had always been there.

Knock—KNOCK KNOCK!

Andy woke with a start, moaning in pain as it burned through their veins. A headache blooming with fury between their eyes. Spine protesting at the twisted angle he’d fallen asleep in—in the floor? Andy sputtered nonsensical sounds as he got to their knees, attempting to not throw up, certain that it would do little to help their predicament.

There was another series of barely polite knocks on the door, reminding Andy of what woke them up.

Knock-knock.

Wincing, he stood, bracing themself against the wall. With herculean effort and more colorful swears than sense, Andy managed to reach the front door.

Knock-Knock.

He froze, confused. The sound hadn’t come from the door in front of them. Not even a little bit.

With a whine that was barely managing to not be a plea for mercy, Andy turned towards the back door. Past their entryway, living room, dining room, and part of their kitchen. Dark shadows dancing in the twilight against the glass window, porch light left off despite being automatic.

Knock-knock!

The sadistically cheerful sound confirmed their fears and Andy reluctantly passed the couch—which sounded heavenly to pass out on right now—to answer the back door. It took some swaying and curses, but most of the terrible pain and nausea had passed by that point. Leaving them weak and sweating.

Andy pushed aside the deadbolt and unlocked the door, swinging it open gracelessly to greet their strange visitors.

The stranger’s figures were bathed in the soft light of their kitchen, backlit by the gentle violet light of the setting sun. One tall and one short. A man and a woman.

They looked familiar, which curiously made them nauseous again.

“H-Hello?” Andy whispered through a freshly pounding headache.

The man was tall and lean like a thin tree, face pleasantly smiling down at Andy. Long nose strangely angular but it suited him and his friendly demeanor. The man was dressed casually in unbranded sweats and hoodie a dark green color, blond hair pulled back under a baseball cap with mushrooms embroidered along the crown. His dark eyes gazed down at Andy with a depth that left them feeling as though he as drowning. A hundred different thoughts swimming in those eyes and none of which Andy could comprehend.

The woman was a fair bit shorter than her companion, but hardly was in danger of disappearing in his shadow. Vivid orange hair with mushroom clips keeping it out of her deep blue eyes and an expectant look about her. A cute orange overall dress over a brown sweater, vines and mushrooms dancing along the frilly hem. Her smile was sharp and piercing. Though she was pretty cute, she looked like someone prone to biting rather than kissing—somehow. Fiendish and mischievous.

Somehow, he knew it was the truth. Though he also somehow knew the opposite wasn’t strictly true for her companion.

“Hey, Andy. Been a while, huh?” The man spoke cheerfully despite Andy’s obvious confusion. “We finally moved back in!”

Andy’s confusion fell as their mind raced, eyes falling between the two to the house… The windows bright with inhuman light that pierced the dark forest like unblinking eyes.

The house that had not been there before always been waiting.

“Oh… Kaku? Koala? Is that you?” Andy felt their lips tremble around their names in mild alarm, not consciously deciding to speak at all but unable to stop.

The two grinned at their words and Andy felt water swirl between their ears.

He came to much more comfortably than he did before. Head braced on someone’s soft lap and a cold rag over their forehead, just barely covering their eyes.

“…hmmm?” he whimpered, struggling to sit up. Someone’s hand braced on their shoulder, keeping them vertical.

“Easy, Andy! You must have been overworking yourself again!” A woman chided them softly. “Honestly, we move away for a while and you really let yourself go!”

“Yeah, Andy. We really worried about you for a moment there!” A man huffed, steady hands carefully pulling them up. The rag fell and Andy blinked, realizing he was in their living room.

The woman sat on the couch beside them as a familiar man kneeled with a cup of tea.

“Kaku made you tea—it should help you feel better.” She spoke firmly, helping Andy cradle the cup of tea. He drank it without thinking and the relief was instant. It tasted warm and like honey, the sweetness sticking to their throat as it swept down to their belly.

“There we go—feel better yet, Andy?” Kaku asked with a warm smile.

“Y-Yeah… I…” Andy frowned, trying to remember what had made them feel like shit before. What terrible timing—just as their best friends moved back into town! “I don’t know what came over me.” He finally huffed, taking another sip.

“We can tell! Must be one of those colds going round these days. Have you been getting enough sleep? Eating right?” Koala demanded with a cute frown. Andy smiled sheepishly.

“W-Well, I thought I was! Guess not… what made you guys move back after…?” Andy trailed off, a frown growing.

After what?

Why did they move away again?

Gentle hands tapped theirs, brushing the teacup higher to remind them of it. Andy reflexively smiled and took another sip. He admired the delicate blades of grass and mushrooms that danced along the rim. Made the cup very whimsical and pleasing in the light. Each mushroom colorful and different from the next, almost fantastical though he suspected they were real.

“We really missed you, Andy. I’m glad you came back.” Kaku cheered with a wide grin. Andy saw it falter as Koala shot him a dirty look. “Anyway! Did you miss us?” he asked suddenly with a mischievous look.

Andy’s headache bloomed faintly but another sip drowned it out.

“I… yeah. Every day. You’re my best friends, you know.” Andy huffed, a little offended by the implication that he wouldn’t miss them.

“We missed you too, Andy!” Kaku reassured them. “You should come over—like the good old days!”

Andy frowned for a moment, trying to remember what the inside of their house looked like.

He’d never actually gone in before, had he?

No. Andy knew he hadn’t…

Actually, now that he thought about it, wasn’t the house further back before too? Or was it just time that made the distance seem so big?

It had to be. Obviously.

It had always been there, after all. Andy just ignored it before now because it hurt to think of the empty house without their best friends in it.

The explanation settled in their chest oddly but soothed them, nonetheless.

“S-Sure… maybe when I feel better. I’d hate to throw up on your carpet.” Andy excused, ignoring the strangely anxious feeling squirming in their gut at the thought of going inside their house.

It was just the newness of it, that’s all. New situations always made Andy feel a little anxious at first.

Koala’s smile faltered a little bit as she huffed.

“What, think we’d be bad hosts, Andy? You don’t need to worry about being sick with us—we’ll take good care of you, like we promised!” Koala grinned with narrowed eyes, her words vaguely threatening.

“Promised?” Andy mused, wrinkling their nose in thought.

“Yeah, that promise we made—that you made when we were kids!” Kaku agreed, his eyes also a little narrowed like he was searching for something from Andy.

“Sorry guys, I don’t really remember a promise. It was a long time ago though… Hmm… kids, huh? Was it to be friends forever or something like that?” Andy asked, taking another sip of their tea. He looked out the window, realizing it was night time now, the distant street lamp at the end of their driveway flickering in the dark. Moths crowding the pale gold light, the full moon high above the tree line. Thinking on it, he wondered how he missed them moving in. What with their house being right behind Andy’s. He must have been sick for a long time, to have missed the moving trucks.

But there wasn’t a driveway for their house, was there?

Andy took a contemplative sip of tea and the thought drifted away, troubling them no longer.

Kaku chuckled, falling onto the seat next to Andy. Arm tossed carelessly over Andy’s shoulders.

“Ah, it was so cute! You swore it, you know—that promise! Parents were pretty pissed though—” Koala hissed something sharp and low, interrupting Kaku’s rambling as he jumped, his smile now apologetic. “But you should come over! We’ll make dinner and catch up! It’s been a long time, after all!”

“Maybe la—”

Andy’s phone rang, the ringtone obnoxiously loud from the hallway. He jumped up, setting down the teacup—actually, he didn’t own teacups, so where…?—and raced to answer their phone with mild difficulty.

It was on the floor, having been forgotten there in their earlier fall.

“Andy speaking!” he huffed somewhat breathlessly.

“Oh—hi! I’ve been calling you for ages now! Did you get the documents I asked for? Got a deadline coming up and it’s taking longer than normal—you said they should be easy to find?” A woman asked curiously, her tone somewhat worried.

“Oh—OH! Yeah, they are—I was just looking for anything else I might have missed before I got sick. I’ll look over everything and send it to you here in a bit. Maybe after eating some food? But—yeah, I’ll have them soon—sorry about the wait!” Andy sputtered, a little flustered.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear about that! And as long as it’s before… hmm, let’s say before Friday you should be good!” She responded kindly.

“That’s about… two days? Oh, that’s plenty of time. Thank you, I’ll get right on it!” Andy promised before hanging up with a placid goodbye. “Sorry about that, guys—work call--?” Andy hobbled back to the living room to find it empty.

Lone teacup left on the table the only indication anyone had been there save a delicately handwritten note.

He picked it up and noted it felt like parchment.

“Sorry we had to leave so abruptly, dear heart. Our time was cut a little shorter than expected and we had to return. Dinner tomorrow night? Yours, as promised, Kaku and Koala~” Andy read out.

“…That promise again.” Andy huffed, trying to remember what he had promised.

It was so long ago, their memories of childhood fuzzy after that fire.

He paused.

A fire?

Yeah… there was a fire, wasn’t there? Andy glanced down at the remains of their tea. The dark liquid gleaming gold in the light. Flecks of something swirling inside almost hypnotizing them.

Andy felt the headache begin to return but opted to take ibuprofen instead, pouring out the last of the tea. It was probably ice cold anyway.

The house behind Andy’s a dark, looming shadow. Mushrooms forming a tight line that curved into the woods around the house, their tops silver in the clouded moonlight.

Andy felt a tight stab of some complicated emotion in their chest. Something like deep, childish fear. Like he needed to run as fast and far as he could.

The house seemed closer.

Andy grabbed their walking cane and a snack before retreating to their office to finish up work.

Tying up this last job before sleep sounded like a good idea—better than lingering on why he felt so… afraid of his best friends’ house.

Andy had bought their childhood home after it had been left abandoned for years—ever since they’d moved away actually. Their parents oddly against the purchase.

Andy wondered if Koala and Kaku’s parents had simply given it to them—actually, Andy realized he couldn’t remember meeting their parents before. Were they… did they even have the same parents? He didn’t know. They never claimed to be siblings, now that he thought about it. Or even cousins.

Not once.

It was always just them.

Waiting on the back porch.

Asking Andy to come inside and play.

Sleep was barely an escape from their troubled thoughts.

The smell of fresh wood and blood sinking into their nose. Flashes of days in the sun, running around with their best friends.

“You have such an active imagination!” Andy’s mom commented with a laugh as she washed dishes. “What’d you play today, baby?”

“Kaku and Koala played tag—but they’re cheaters and kept going into their house! You said I’m not allowed inside someone’s house until you meet their parents—they know that!” Andy pouted, poking at the bandage on their knee. “Skinned my knee on their porch step but Kaku said this would help.” Andy showed off the bandage. Their mom paused, putting aside the plate she had been washing and drying off her hands before looking at it.

“… baby, where did you get honey? Who…?”

“Kaku, momma! I told you—they live back there, remember? He got it from inside his house when I wouldn’t go it—just like you told me not to!” Andy sighed, a little frustrated at their mom’s poor memory. She looked troubled as she stood and looked out the back door. “Right there, mom! How’d you forget?”

“…have those mushrooms been there this whole time?” Andy heard her mumble before she turned towards them. “Baby, what house?” He huffed and with all the grace in their knobby-kneed body, stomped over and pointed just past the tree line.

“Right there! Momma, do you need glasses? They got the lights on and everything!” Andy looked up from the faint figure of their best friends waving at him to find her looking in horror. “Momma?”

“Baby, there’s never been a house—”

Andy woke covered in sweat and gagging. Reaching instinctively towards the waste basket by the bed as they threw up. It was thick and burning down their throat. Unnaturally dark, though not the color of blood thankfully.

No, it was dark and thick like honey but tasted rancid.

It took three tries of brushing their teeth to get rid of the taste. Afterwards, Andy felt ravenous but oddly reluctant to eat anything. Nothing looked good. But it wasn’t even midday, so Andy shoved down half a sleeve of saltine crackers with cheese and called it good enough to shower without the risk of passing out.

Showering with hot water felt like a blessing. Muscles oddly overworked everywhere suddenly relaxing with such force he nearly collapsed. He felt a little pathetic, but sitting while washing their hair was nearly a religious experience. Andy had never felt so clean, though it definitely took far longer than normal to pull off.

Andy ended up putting on sweats and calling it a day, secure in the knowledge they’d sent off the documents before going to bed and could now catnap on the couch. Which they did and fuck was it damn near magical. The odd sickness leaving their body with every passing hour.

In the hazy blanket of sleep, Andy’s mind swirled around the house behind theirs.

It had been there. At least for Andy… but his mom hadn’t seen it before, had she? Their parents never commented on it’s odd closeness before. Or the kids he played with that lived there. Andy knew that for certain. The particulars were blurred though. And it took until nearly sunset for Andy to remember that there had been a fire back there.

He couldn’t remember it well, but the woods had definitely been set ablaze. He could remember their mother’s desperate hold onto them as the fire grew. Tugging them away as he cried. Her words muddled but firm.

“—not safe—they won’t take my baby!”

They moved after that, didn’t they?

Andy sighed, relaxing into the soft cushions.

Knock-knock!

Andy startled, shaken abruptly from their thoughts at the familiar knock. Sighing, he stood up and made their way to the back door.

Kaku and Koala were there again, dressed identically to the day before.

“Hey guys, forgot you were coming over—let me throw a shirt on or something.” Andy laughed, stepping aside to let them in. They walked in with pleased smiles, Kaku noticing the teacup sitting out to dry.

“Oh, did you finish your tea, by the way?” Kaku asked. Andy shook their head.

“No, it was pretty cold by the time I got off the phone and you were both gone. I didn’t even hear you leave—sorry about that. Washed it before bed though!” Andy smiled, their expression faltering under the combined displeasure Kaku and Koala were displaying. “Something wrong?”

Kaku recovered first.

“No! Of course not, thanks for washing it. We wanted to remind you about dinner.” Kaku laughed, brushing his hand over Koala’s shoulder with a sharp look. “How about we let you get dressed and you bring it over when you’re ready!” he suggested pleasantly.

Andy pursed their lips.

They were quite hungry. But would hate to go over only to find out that nothing they were serving seemed appetizing.

“I don’t know, Kaku. Got sick when I woke up and nothing’s caught my fancy all day.” Andy confessed sheepishly. Koala instantly looking worried.

“You haven’t eaten all day?” She asked softly, her leftover frustration bleeding out into concern.

“Half a sleeve of crackers and cheese, but that’s it. Not sure I could keep anything down right now—I’m sorry. I know you two were really looking forward to dinner.” Andy apologized as gently as he could.

Koala huffed.

“Good thing we made soup! Goes down easy and we even have heavier sides if you think you can handle it!” Koala protested, but Andy shook their head. “Ugh! Fine! How about you return the teacup and, if dinner smells amazing—which it will!—you join us! Like. You. Promised!” she hissed at the end, her eyes dark pools of frustration.

Andy took an alarmed step back and her face instantly shifted into a petulant frown, Kaku’s hand firm on her shoulder with a dark look. But he also changed his expression upon seeing the alarm on Andy’s face.

“She’s just excited, dear. Ignore her. Come on over when you’re ready with the teacup and we can take it from there!” Kaku sighed.

“Why not take it with you--?” Andy asked but they retreated from the kitchen hastily, glancing back with longing in their eyes. Leaving Andy half dressed in their kitchen with a teacup he—apparently—needed to return themselves.

Left feeling a little… oddly out of the loop, Andy decided to do as they were asked. Changing into more appropriate clothes, a warm, red sweater he’d been endlessly fond of for over a year now, and worn jeans. Grabbing their walking cane just in case of unexpected holes in the yard and carefully cradling the teacup in the other hand.

Still, Andy couldn’t help but pause at the end of their porch. Anxiety swirling in their guts with increasing intensity.

Something was wrong. He just… didn’t know what it was.

Koala and Kaku’s house was gently illuminated, the back porch cast in a strange, silvery light that caught the line of mushrooms between their houses. The moon clouded high above the forest. It occurred to Andy then how strange it was that he couldn’t see into their house. Their windows always dark as pitch or glowing with light. Vague shadows dancing in a window here or there, but otherwise nothing to identify what was happening inside. And, curiously, it looked identical to their own house—now that he thought about it.

A literal dark reflection.

Perhaps he hadn’t thought about it before then because he had assumed they were built around the same time. Houses build in groups were like that, sometimes. Nearly identical in build save the outer façade. But as he carefully made their way down the back steps, he noticed that the other house even had latticework along the ground, overgrown as the grass and mushrooms were. Broken in exactly the same place as their own, where a stray dog had broken in during the winter freeze for shelter.

It was confusing and somewhat dizzying as Andy made their way across the backyard. Pausing just before the line of mushrooms, eyeing the small gap between the thick clusters.

Like a little doorway.

The thought caught in their head. Stuck and wouldn’t budge for anything. That swell of fear returning with a vengeance.

Suddenly, Andy wanted to turn around and never look back.

Sell their old childhood home without even bothering to pack.

It felt like it Andy walked through the mushrooms, he’d never return from them again.

They shifted back uncertainly. Unsure where this depth of conviction came from, their breath heavy in the chilled air.

“Hey! Are you going to stand there all night or come in?” Koala barked from the now open doorway, gold light spilling out from behind her. Instinctively, Andy moved.

If their cane hadn’t been braced into the earth behind them, they would have moved backwards. Away from the mushrooms. But it had been.

And Andy stepped forward, their words sputtering into nothing as they passed the threshold.

It was like a wave of warmth had swept over them. The chill of the air no longer threatening as a smile formed on their lips unbidden.

“I… Sorry, Koala, got… lost in thought.” Andy struggled to excuse themselves, shaking their head and walking up to the back porch. The smell of fresh, hot dinner wafting over them. It smelled like damn good soup and bread. Wasn’t certain what kind though, perhaps if he got closer? Their stomach rumbling with interest as they finally made it up the steps with a smile. “Smells good. What kind of soup is it?” he asked with genuine interest.

Koala’s smile was bright and sharp.

“Chicken and fresh rolls with salad!”

Andy loved chicken soup!

“Are you joining us, then, Andy? Think you can stomach it tonight?” Kaku inquired, poking his head from behind the door with a mischievous smile. Koala shot him a dirty look. “He has to come in eventually, Koala. Relax.”

Faintly, that well of fear drifted up again at the strangely insistent reminder about going inside. It felt strange. Like… it was a step he couldn’t take back but also… too late?

“I…” Andy frowned, confused about that incredibly dull stab of fear in their chest. The food smelled good. The company so welcoming. So what was the holdup? Soft hands cradled his wrists, Koala’s face peering up at their own with an unusual intensity.

Eyes wide and haunting, threatening to swallow him hole as she called out in a lifeless voice.

“Aren’t you going to come in? It’s raining so hard.” She said, the words tumbling into Andy’s ears with a strange, echoing quality to it.

Denial was quick to spring to their lips, but before they could say anything to the contrary, there was a heavy pounding of rain onto the porch. They looked back, startled. Finding a thick sheet of rain pouring down so hard he couldn’t see anything beyond the wooden steps. Just a wall of rain so fierce Andy was certain they wouldn’t be able to walk in it at all.

It still smelled like chicken soup, though. Not a speck of rain despite the deluge just behind them. Andy heard Kaku click his tongue as Koala tugged him forward gently.

And Andy followed her into the doorway. Light blinding as he stepped inside, still so confused.

The door slammed shut the moment he passed the threshold. Darkness instantly falling over them in an icy wave that made their bones ache.

Andy was left standing, leaning on their cane with a fearful cry of alarm before soft hands cupped his face.

“Oops! Sorry, dear!” Kaku’s voice washed over him. “Someone got a little too excited!” between one blink and the next, the light returned.

Normal this time. Cozy without being blinding. Illuminating a space that was strangely dizzying to behold at first. Blearily, Andy was—for some reason—relieved it looked nothing like their own home. The hallway long and covered in quaint forested wallpaper. Andy swore that the grass moved and the trees swayed, but their attention was forcefully taken by Kaku patting their cheek.

“There we are!” Kaku said cheekily. “Sorry about all that. Should have finished your tea!” he chirped before pulling Andy down the hallway.

A hallway… Andy thought it was strange to have such a long hallway to the back door. And it seemed so much bigger than the house should have to begin with. A glance behind them showing it was cast in darkness. The shadows of leaves dancing in the space behind them. Something Andy reluctantly dismissed as a hallucination of some kind.

“Took you long enough! Come on, sit! Sit! It’s time to eat!” Koala’s voice called from a doorway ahead of them. Light spilling into the hall like a beacon. Kaku plucked the teacup out of Andy’s hand and ushered them forward.

“I’ll get you more tea.”

“That’s alright—” Andy protested but Kaku clicked his tongue with a chiding look.

“And leave you without anything to drink?” he asked.

The dining room was massive, the table inside almost comedically small for the space. Just big enough for three around the round, dark wood carved intricately with leaves and mushrooms. Matching chairs with plush seats in dark green. The chandelier above them a soft, curling bell shape with no clear point of light. Crystals hanging from the edges like dewdrops. Kaku quickly ducked out of the doorway on the far wall with a pot of tea that matched the now filled teacup.

It was clear upon closer inspection that it was part of a set. All the dishware filled with cute mushrooms and brushed leaves along the rim. Even the silverware engraved with the design. Bowls filled with amber colored soup and tantalizing bits of chicken and vegetables. Side dishes as promised displayed on their own large platters. Portions already dolled out. Thick, fabric napkins folded to the side underneath the silverware.

It was incredibly fancy and inviting as the chair was pulled out for Andy.

“You didn’t need to do all this.” Andy replied weakly. “I’d have been happy with a microwave pizza.” He laughed. The two chuckled but shook their heads.

“No, no! For our first meal together? Never!” Koala chuckled, taking a seat alongside Kaku. “Eat up—you’ll need your strength!” she tittered.

Rather than question the odd statement, Andy took a bite of their soup.

It was perfect. Juicy and savory, cooked to perfection and nearly falling apart on their fork. Unlike earlier protests, it went down like a dream. The same way the bread and salad did with small sips of the tea Kaku had brought out.

“So, how have you been?” Andy asked curiously, biting into a bread roll with a honey butter glaze on top. They were eating at a sedate pace, likely used to such luxurious fare.

“Alright. Missed you terribly though.” Koala sighed. “To think, we could have been like this all this time—if it hadn’t of been for that fire.” She sneered, her lovely expression twisting abruptly. It was alarming—but more alarming was the fact that Kaku made the same expression. Not even apologizing or chiding Koala for making such a frightening face.

“Your mom was sharp once she realized what was happening. If she hadn’t been looking out for you—well, we’re still furious, but if someone was threatening you a little arson would be the least of what we’d do.” Kaku huffed. Andy paused, a question forming in their throat. “Drink your tea, dear. It’s easier that way.”

“E-Easier? The fire… that was my mom?” Andy questioned. Kaku and Koala shared a look.

“Well, we did bring it up. And before he finished the tea, too.” Koala shrugged. “So yes. Your mom started the fire. Distracted us enough for her to take you away. But you’d already promised by then, so this? Was going to happen eventually.” Koala sniffed.

Andy felt the room shift. The sound of leaves rattling together overwhelming—but he was inside, wasn’t he?

“Hey.” Andy looked at Kaku’s gentle expression. The man’s hand pushing theirs to the teacup. “What’d I say? Drink your tea, dear.”

“…what’s in the tea?” he whispered. Kaku’s smile thinned, eyes narrowing to slits as the lights flickered. “P-Please, I just… I’m scared and I don’t know why.” Andy begged softly.

Kaku and Koala’s expressions softened. The two relaxing and breathing out a sigh in sync.

“Magic. Magic and blood, dear.” Kaku informed them softly. “Traveling to our realm is hard on mortals. So this is… think of it as… easing the way? All those scary, frightening things you keep seeing out of the corner of your eye—it all gets washed away. Keeps you… happy, I suppose. We don’t want you screaming and crying as we drag you under.” Kaku explained finally. Andy looked at the teacup in horror.

“D-Drag me under?” Andy breathed out, heart thundering as he realized he could see things in the edges of his view.

“No—no no! None of that, Andy, baby!” Koala broke through their thoughts as she rushed over to their side, lifting up the cup. “You can’t go back—the way through is forward. I know drinking blood is a little gross for you, but it’s ours. Just like you are. You swore with your own blood, baby. Ever since then, it was only a matter of time.” Koala spoke softly, forcing Andy’s hand to cup the teacup and lift it to their lips.

“Drink, Andreas.” Kaku ordered, Andy’s body moving without thought.

Instantly, he relaxed, their breathing and heartbeat evening out. Alarm distant and muffled as he looked to Kaku for answers. Koala’s fingers brushing away their tears softly.

“You gave us your name, baby.” Kaku smiled softly, almost indulgently. “Names have a lot of power. Now, don’t you feel better, Andy?” he nodded, head growing fuzzy.

“Stop fighting it and drink, idiot.” Koala huffed, tapping their wrist.

“I-It’s not going to hurt me—right?” Andy asked softly, desperate to believe their best friends had only good intentions. “W-Why are you… taking me?”

Kaku sighed sadly, shoulders falling as he smiled softly.

“We’ve never hurt you. And we’re not really taking you, if you came willingly, right?” Kaku asked teasingly. “You promised forever.” He spoke into the room with a weight that suffocated Andy.

Dizzy with fear and confusion, Andy finished the cup of tea. The moment he choked down the last dreg, the weight lifted.

“W-What do you even do with forever?” Andy mused, a little lightheaded and lost in the moment. Koala chuckled, kissing his hair.

“Whatever you want!” She sang with elation. “You grew up so well, Andy! I think it’s time for another round of tag, don’t you?” she teased with narrowed eyes.

Kaku choked on a laugh.

“That’s mean, Koala. You know he can’t leave.” Kaku chided, giving Andy a meaningful look. “Do you still want to leave, Andy?”

Andy faltered, uncertain of how to answer.

“I… feel like I should but…” Andy swallowed hard. “I really can’t?” Andy asked softly. Kaku’s smile grew sharp.

“Well, maybe if you find the door you could make it out.” Kaku mused playfully. “We’ll even give you a head start. Find the front door and leave the circle… then we’ll let you go.”

“…If I don’t?” Andy asked softly, aware suddenly the table was empty. He had been eating something, right?

Koala laughed.

“Then you stay! We get to keep you! One last game to decide—since you apparently forgot everything. Don’t say we don’t play fair, Andy!” Koala jeered cheekily.

“But you guys cheated all the time!” Andy protested without thinking, but rather than be pissed, it merely sent Koala into a fit of giggles.

“So you won’t play the game, Andy? You’ll just… accept it?” Kaku asked, hands clasped together over his lips but failing to hide his smile.

Andy huffed.

“Fine! I’ll play—even though I know you’ll cheat!” He responded with a whine.

“It’s not impossible for you to win, Andy. You just need to think.” Koala hinted before the lights went out.

The darkness held for several moments before flickering back on. The room empty of table and occupants. Leaving Andy sitting alone on a chair. Not even their walking cane by their side—though he suspected that they weren’t so cruel that he’d need it to leave.

“Better start looking, Andy. Before we start looking for you.” Kaku’s voice called out from all around them.

Andy huffed, shuffling out of the room with a wary eye for any tricks.

The hallway out of the room was curiously well illuminated, but seemed infinitely long. Remembering the direction he came in, Andy almost took that side but hesitated.

Obviously, it wasn’t going to be that simple. It didn’t take very long to reach the dining room on the way in—so there’s no way they’d be so teasing about it if it was the same going out. Still, Andy hurried along, huffing as he noticed the far doorway never got any closer.

Certain they were fucking with him, Andy opened a random door only to find an identical hallway stretching out past where his eyes could make sense of it.

He paused, trying to think.

They wouldn’t lie to him outright. So there had to be a real way to leave.

Andy looked around, examining the walls again.

It was a strangely lively scene of the forest, though simplified for the cute wallpaper. Varying hues of greens dotted with colorful mushrooms along the bottom between blades of grass. Branches swaying above with leaves dripping down towards the floor. But it wasn’t entirely simplified. There was a soft rim light of silver along one side.

Moonlight.

Andy was in the forest… sort of. And the moon was on the opposite side of their own house to Kaku and Koala’s.

“Time’s almost up~” Koala cackled from somewhere nearby.

Andy hurried, goal now in sight as he followed the subtle signs of moonlight along the wallpaper, pausing as it encased the edges of the plant life entirely around a door. Opening it, he found another hallway, but the wallpaper seemed softer. The light breaking through in beams. And Andy took that as their cue to go faster. The end of the hallway actually getting closer.

“Ready or not~! Here we come!” Kaku called out startlingly loud as Andy nearly screamed, trying their best to run full tilt down the hallway. He nearly slammed into the door, opening it with a relieved sigh to find a clear view to their house. He stepped out into the crisp air with urgency, eager to feel the dry grass under their feet as they cleared the steps.

Only for strong arms to loop around their chest and heave up.

“Whoop! Almost, baby!” Kaku laughed as Andy let out a startled screech.

“I-I made it out!” He protested, feeling Kaku’s breath on their neck.

“Mmmm, not quite~! Had to leave the circle to win!” Kaku teased, hauling Andy back into the house, the door slamming shut. Kaku pinned Andy to the door with his body, pressing his lips into Andy’s neck. “Oh, you are such a good player, Andy~! I was afraid it was just because we were so young—but no! You’re still so clever!” Kaku praised them.

“And you’re still a cheater!” Andy huffed, squirming against the door as Kaku slipped his hands under Andy’s sweater. Hot palms pressed against their ribs.

“You’re just grumpy we won!” Kaku laughed, rubbing up Andy’s chest. “Now for the prize!”

“H-Hey! I-I thought I was just stuck here!” Andy huffed, a whine slipping into their voice as Kaku’s hands drifted down to their pants. Teasing under the band in firm strokes. “N-Not whatever this is!”

Kaku laughed again, much deeper this time.

“You didn’t think we’d play tag forever, did you?” Kaku asked. “No~ The games we play grow up with us, Andy! And I’ve been looking forward to this game for years!” Kaku cooed, slipping his hand into Andy’s underwear, cupping their cock.

Andy let slip a startled moan, their hands curling against the wood door uselessly.

“N-Not a game, Kaku!” Andy protested hoarsely, only for Kaku to laugh, palm stroking over their cock. Teasing them to full arousal.

“Oh? But I’m having so much fun!” Kaku sighed, pressing his palm harder against Andy’s cock, kissing their throat as they moaned weakly. “And I think you are too!” Kaku pulled Andy’s hips away from the door, prying their pants down to keep harshly stroking their cock. Grinding against Andy’s ass, making them bounce into the firm grip around their cock.

“K-Kaku!” Andy protested.

“Really, at the door, Kaku?” Koala called out dryly. Andy looked back with tears in their eyes and her expression fell open into surprise. “Well! If it’s like that—here, this should be better.” Koala smirked, reaching out and opening a door to her side. Kaku sighed, roughly picking Andy up and hauling them away from their only means of escape wearing only their sweater.

The room Koala had opened up was a bedroom with a lush interior. Fancy and entirely in dark wood and greens. Mushroom décor dotting the room in cute touches.

Andy was shoved onto the bed gracelessly, pushed onto their back and stripped of their sweater by Koala. She laughed at his flustered state and slipped her panties off, throwing herself onto their lap.

Andy, horribly flustered, grabbed her hips and tried to lift her off. But she threw down her weight and ground her wet pussy against their cock. Grinding into it hard enough that she could remove their hands with ease and pin them to the bed with it. Rolling her cunt against them eagerly. Andy felt Kaku’s hands under their thighs, parting their legs and teasing the slick that gathered onto their cock lower.

“There we are, what a cute face~” Kaku purred. “We’ve been wanting to ride you for so long.” He sighed, slipping his fingers into Andy.

He gasped, arching up into Koala’s pussy, making her moan in shock. Her hips jolting forward to drown the tip in hot cream.

“O-Oh—feels that good, huh?” Koala sighed. “You have no idea what kind of face you’re making. Never want to leave now, do you?”

“Of course, they don’t. Why would they when it feels this good to stay?” Kaku huffed, reaching down to raise up Andy’s hips. “Together?”

“Together.” Koala confirmed, raising her hips up as a firm hand lifted Andy’s cock up. Something firm and cool pressing between his cheeks.

Andy couldn’t speak as they slid into Andy at the same time. Koala’s pussy so hot and tight around them but Kaku’s thick cock shockingly cool. The conflicting feelings sending Andy reeling as he threw their head back with a lewd moan.

“W-Wait~ oOoooh!” Andy whined, shaking as their cock throbbed inside Koala’s pussy, hips jerking with no clear relief from the pleasure. Up into Koala or down onto Kaku’s cock, he had no means of escaping them. Koala holding his hands with a frighteningly tight grasp.

“Oh, poor baby~ Feels so good with us, doesn’t it?” Koala asked softly, grinding onto their cock and forcing Andy to ride Kaku with shuddering jerks. “This is what you were running from, can you believe it? Taking us so well, you feel so good, Andy.”

Kaku huffed, lifting up Andy’s ass a little more to fuck them harder.

“S-So fucking good—Hnnngh~! So tight, you’re close, aren’t you? Gonna cum in her, baby? OH! S-Shit that was tight—” Kaku swore, slamming his cock in hard enough for his balls to smack against Andy’s ass. He leaned over Koala’s shoulder with a wide grin, face red as he ground into Andy. “Y-You like that? W-What’s got you all wound up, baby? Want to fill her up? Don’t bother trying to lie when I’m so deep in your cute ass, baby~” Kaku pressed a cheeky grin into Koala’s shoulder as she gave Andy an assessing look.

“I can feel you too, you know. H-How much you like the thought of it.” Koala sighed, riding Andy’s cock harder. “C’mon, baby. T-Talk to us—you want to cum inside me, don’t you?”

“Y-Yeah—oooh, K-Koala—I do! L-Let me, let me b-br…” Andy whined, trailing off as their face grew hot, burying it into the bedding beside them.

“Oh?” Koala and Kaku called out in unison.

“What a dirty boy~” Kaku laughed. “You want to breed her? Like the thought of that, huh? What about me, baby? Think I could breed you too—ooooh!” Kaku moaned, laughing as Andy clenched hard onto his cock.

“I think he does want you to, Kaku.” Koala laughed. “He’d look so cute being bred, don’t you think?” she asked as Andy whined, cock throbbing hard she bounced on it faster.

“Go ahead, Andy. You can be bred together, isn’t that nice?” Kaku panted. “Getting filled up at the same time, all of us, together? We can keep going until it takes—we’ve got forever after all.”

Andy moaned, struggling beneath them both as they panted. Body quivering as they were pushed over the edge. Cock pulsing as they spilled into Koala’s hot pussy. Kaku and Koala both slamming into them as they came. Kaku’s thick cock pouring into Andy with dizzyingly cool cum, every inch felt along their walls.

But Andy didn’t get to luxuriate in sensations, the two of them swiftly moving again. Andy’s body quickly becoming overstimulated between the thick spread of their walls and tight clench on their cock.

“Ah—Ah? K-Kaku?! K-Koala?!” Andy protested thickly, looking up at them. The room strangely dim and their eyes glowing with intent.

“You think only once would do it, baby?” Kaku asked darkly. “We’re not there yet—if we stopped now you’ll be so frightened and empty. Let us distract that pretty body, Andy.”

“Can’t think about where you are when you’re being fucked this good—bred this good, can you?” Koala laughed, throwing her ass back onto Andy’s cock. “B-Besides, we’ve waited for so long to feel you like this. Why not enjoy this a little longer, baby?”

Koala’s pussy dripped onto Andy with a mess of cum as the two of them rode Andy harder.

“Y-yesss, just like that. Enjoy it, Andreas. It only gets better as you go.” Kaku hissed, pulling out another harsh orgasm. “Gotta breed you right, don’t we, baby? Fill that cute ass up—what a mess you’re making! M-Maybe it’ll stick if we keep going. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? I-I think I’d like that too—breed that cute ass—”

“K-Kaku—ooooh~! Oh! O-Oh, Kaku, p-please!” Andy whined, grasping Koala’s hands hard as they jerked into her pussy. “F-Fill me up, please—so good—mmmn~!” Koala leaned down and kissed Andy. Shoving her tongue onto theirs as she moaned, grinding onto their cock furiously. Andy’s cock throbbed painfully, somehow still hard as they came again. Cum dripping out and onto Kaku, who moaned with a laugh.

“B-Breeding her good, huh? S-So good it’s all coming down and being fucked back into you—what a good boy. You’re not wasting anything, are you?” Kaku laughed, eyes dark slits that caught the light like knives. “What a good boy, guess you deserve to be bred, huh? Don’t you, baby?” Kaku grunted, hilting again to spill into Andy’s overwhelmed body.

Andy could only whine as they continued their rough pace. Muscles aching as they were fucked into the bed.

Andy had no idea how long this ‘trip’ would take. But it was apparent that they intended to fuck them until it did and there was no escape—

If there ever was to begin with.

“P-Please, yes! M-More!” And Andy didn’t want them to stop. “P-Promised to be yours forever!”

Koala laughed against their lips. Her eyes burning into them.

“You really did, baby~ Forever and ever~!” she moaned, cumming onto Andy’s cock, head tossed back. “R-Really keeping your word—so we’ll keep ours. Anything you want, it’s yours.” Kaku pushed up Andy’s knees pinning Koala to Andy’s chest. His face flushed over Koala’s shoulder.

“And you wanted to be bred, didn’t you, Andreas. Take it, then. Every inch of my cock—it’s y-yours! Bred you like a good boy.” Kaku slammed into Andy’s ass, forcing them to take his thick cock in deep as he came hard. Only to grind into Andy’s limp body with a cruel laugh. “S-Still not there yet~! Still not bred yet~!” Kaku sang, Koala moaning into Andy’s throat as she struggled to ride them in her pinned position.

Andy wailed hoarsely, closing their eyes as they gave into the relentless waves of pleasure. No clear end in sight.

And Andy didn’t want there to be.

#one piece smut #spooktober 2024 #one piece kaku #one piece koala #kaku/oc/koala #One piece oc #tw: breeding kink

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inactive-hellish-hyperfixation · 2 years ago

Text

Beautiful | Stephen Strange x male reader

genre: fluff (a little bit of hurt? but i dont think it counts)

requested: no

summary: Stephen Strange, although known for having an overinflated ego, had an insecurity that nobody was shy about pointing out. Then, he's introduced to a man who never pried, and he couldn't help but fall.

a/n: this is my longest fic so far, and im a little proud of the length! in all honesty, this fic is just two different ideas mushed into one, so if it doesn't flow quite well, that would be why. also, all of my dr strange fics so far have ended in confession?? very strange... pun not intended.

word count: 3.2k

In all the time Stephen had known you, he’d never shown you his hands. From the moment Wong introduced you as his friend and every interaction since, he’d wear some form of gloves. Although he knew they were nothing to be ashamed of, he despised the scars, the bumps, the rods, and how evident the unsteadiness in his hands were without coverings. Every time he saw the unsightly things, he’d clench them into fists, and want to punch the nearest wall when even that felt weak. His mind convinced him that, if his reaction to his own hands was this bad, how much worse would it be for others? So he hid them around as many people as possible, and those who knew never brought it up.

Unfortunately, those who didn’t know were a different story. Sometimes they’d ask about his gloves, especially when it was a person he’d see often. The lady at the store, the barista at the cafe he frequented, non-magical librarians, and the rest. They’d all asked him about his gloves at least once at some point. Why he wore them, that they’d never seen him without them, that he must be hot wearing them in this weather, etcetera.

But not you. You’d never asked, never brought it up, never even so much as looked at them weirdly besides the first time you met when you’d observed them for a second longer than usual. Stephen hadn’t realized how much he was bothered by how others thought of his hands until you offered him a safe space to simply exist without consciously thinking about them, and it allowed him to feel comforted around you. He began to crave your company whenever he was being questioned about his gloves, and even just in general when he was alone. He wanted to fill every free moment he had with memories of you.

~~~

“I want to tell him.” The sound of Stephen’s voice broke the silence in the library, causing Wong to look up from the book he was looking at in confusion.

“Tell who what?” Wong took in the sight of Stephen leaning on a desk with his face resting on his hand and decided to close the book, sensing a longer conversation coming. Stephen broke his dazed gaze and looked up at the librarian, eyes conveying the message of “seriously?” clearly.

“You know who. I want to tell him about my hands!” The sorcerer stood up straight and brought both gloved hands up into clear view to emphasize his point. He then turned and started to pace around. Wong was unsure how to react. He was aware of Stephen’s developing feelings for his friend, but this was an unexpected turn of events. Although he’d shown an interest in possibly developing a romantic relationship with someone, his hands hadn’t been mentioned in any way, shape, or form.

“That's rather sudden. What brought this on?" Stephen’s pacing stopped and his body visibly tensed instead. Wong could feel the hesitance to speak undulating off of him in waves, and thought the conversation was over for a moment, until the man turned around with a look of determination in his eyes.

“He… I feel safe around him, Wong,” the man spoke as though it physically pained him to get the words out, but pressed on. “I want him to know. More. About me. I want to share parts of myself with him.” He took in a breath and started pacing again. “Is that weird? I feel like that’s weird.”

“Who would’ve thought, Doctor Stephen Strange talking about his feelings.” Wong let out an amused chuckle until it was shut down by a glare.

“Sorry.”

Wong cleared his throat before speaking again.

“I don’t think it’s weird, I think you’re just…”

“Just what?”

“Lovesick?” At that, Stephen let out an incredulous scoff and rolled his eyes so hard they nearly fell out of their sockets.

“I don’t get lovesick, Wong. I’m an adult, not some childish teenager who isn’t in control of his feelings. I-”

“Am lovesick.”

“Am not!” The man turned with a little more force than necessary, shakiness in his hands noticeable even while wearing his gloves and from afar. A few moments passed, and he took a deep breath to steady himself while Wong stood strong, chin up and proud.

“Sorry.”

“You know I’m right.”

“Yeah, I do. Dammit.” The man sighed and buried his face into his hands, only to pull them away and stare at them when the tremors got worse. Now Wong was shocked. A bit of agitation and aggressiveness wasn’t entirely out of character for the man, but admitting being wrong was a once in a lifetime occurrence.

“Do you think I should do it?” He looked up from his hands, making eye contact with the librarian. The raw vulnerability in his eyes shocked Wong even further, if that were possible.

“I can’t decide for you, Stephen. But I can say that, if you do choose to tell him, you have nothing to be afraid of.”

The two shared a quick look of understanding and Wong went back to flipping through his book while Stephen steeled his resolve and portaled away.

~~~

Even after his talk with Wong, Stephen spent a week mulling over how he would go about telling you about his past, even considering abandoning the idea altogether at times. Nevertheless, he managed to come up with a plan and ask you to come over to the Sanctum.

You arrived in the evening when the sun was a couple minutes away from beginning to set, and Stephen was a bundle of nerves trying its best to look like a functioning human being. The two of you spent a handful of minutes chatting and getting over the initial nervousness of being together alone, and ended up sitting on a couch somewhere in the endless building.

“So, why’d you call me over here?” You inquired during a halt in conversation, taking a sip of the tea Stephen made.

“Can’t I ask a friend over? To socialize and talk?” Even to him, the attempt at steering the conversation away from the main point was pathetic. He winced when you raised an eyebrow at him.

“Right, because you’re just so sociable.” You placed the teacup on the coffee table in front of you and turned your body to face the other man on the couch. He did the same, but chose to look at his gloved hands that sat on his lap instead.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah—yeah, everything’s fine. I just—” He let a sigh slip from his lips and looked up from his hands, choosing to look at your face instead. After a moment of silence and thinking, he spoke.

“Why haven’t you asked about my hands?”

Well that wasn’t what he meant to say.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and you started to grow a bit worried since he hadn’t ever brought up the topic of his hands around you.

“Well, it’s not really my business, is it? Sure, I was curious, but if I needed to know, you’d tell me in your own time.” You chose to answer his question honestly and it seemed to be the right choice as the sorcerer seemed a bit more relaxed.

“Right. Speaking of telling you, that’s actually why I asked you here today.” He took in a breath and let it out slowly.” I think you know I used to be a neurosurgeon, but the reason I looked for Kamar-Taj was… Ah, it might be better to just show you, actually.” You watched as he began tugging off his gloves, the action hesitant at first. Then you saw the “fuck it” moment in his expression, and his gloves were off in a blink. You thought your expression was fairly neutral, but Stephen was able to see the shock in your eyes and heard the sharp intake of breath through your nose.

“You can touch them, if you want,” he commented when he noticed your hands hovering in front of you, as though they wanted to touch but weren’t sure if they were allowed. You looked up at his face, gaining confirmation that he meant the words through the sincerity in his eyes. You also caught a trace of nervousness, and your heart softened. This meant a lot to him. You knew Stephen wasn’t the type to open up easily, and this moment was one of extreme vulnerability. The fact that he trusted you enough to share it with you could’ve brought tears to your eyes.

Focusing back on his hands, you tentatively reached out and scooped one up in each hand, allowing your thumbs to trace over some of the scars and rods inside of his fingers. Your hands shook as well, but they were as still as statues in comparison to the trembling of his.

“I got into a car accident. Well, more like I drove myself off a cliff because of my overinflated ego.” He chuckled, but there was little humor in his voice. “A lot of the scars are from surgeries, to get them to stop shaking. Safe to say they didn’t work. The only thing they did was make my hands look hideous.” At that, you looked back up at his face in shock.

“You think they’re hideous?” His expression shifted to one of confusion.

“Yes? Do you not see them? They’re mangled and—and broken, they’re more metal than skin and bones, they’re—”

“Beautiful.”

You didn’t think it was possible for someone to look that astonished.

“At least, that’s what I think.” When it became clear that he wasn’t going to speak anytime soon, you continued. “I mean, like you said, you used to be a surgeon, right? That couldn’t have been easy, so it’s pretty crazy that they were capable of surgery. Even now, they’re doing incredible sorcery and saving lives—because you want to save them, not as a side effect of greed this time.” Although it may have sounded mean, you knew Stephen used to be driven by money and ego, and you knew he was thinking that as a rebuttal, so you had to get it out of the way. “But besides what they can do, I think they’re great just because they’re yours, and I think you’re pretty great, Stephen. Your scars tell a big part of your story and what made you who you are now, even if it wasn’t the prettiest process.”

That was when the waterworks began. It was only a few tears slowly rolling down his cheeks, but they held the weight of a waterfall of emotion. When he realized, he sniffed and quickly pulled his hands away to wipe the tears away with them, looking away.

“God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to start crying, I just…” He trailed off and looked back at you who looked at him with such understanding, patience, and openness that a few more tears slipped out.

“I think I really needed that.”

When you embraced him in the most comforting hug he’s ever experienced, he knew.

He knew that he was utterly and irrevocably in love with you.

~~~

“The queerbaiting was terrible! They could’ve made the most iconic gay couple in all of film history, but they threw it away for a poory forced together last minute hetero couple.”

You were currently dragging Stephen along with you to take a walk because you insisted that “the weather’s so nice today, we should enjoy it!” and he couldn’t ever say no to you, and you ended up ranting about a TV show and why you hated it. Stephen didn’t really understand as he didn’t watch new films often, but was too busy staring at you to care. Anyone could see the pure love and admiration in his eyes as he drank in your figure under the warm light of the sunset, wishing that he could hold your hand or lean in and kiss you more than anything. As the sun went down and the streetlights turned on, the two of you settled into a comfortable silence. Silence that was soon interrupted by the sounds of rain hitting the pavement around you.

“Ah, shit. I didn’t think it was gonna rain,” you shivered and crossed your arms over your chest in an attempt to maintain some warmth. Immediately, Stephen pulled the cloak in the form of a scarf from his neck, allowed it to transform back into a cloak, and slipped it over your shoulders in a single smooth movement. He held on to the lapels and adjusted it, making your bodies face each other. The action made you look up at him with a smile and a raised eyebrow that made it impossible for the sorcerer to look away.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like that! I just don’t want you to get sick.”

“So you do care about me!” At that he rolled his eyes and couldn’t help the soft smile that formed on his face.

“Yes, I do.” Suddenly, the surrounding air became charged and it felt silent even with the deafening hammering of the rain around you.

“I care about you a lot, actually.” His words came out so quietly you wouldn’t have been able to hear them had you not been so close. When did you get so close? You decided it didn’t matter because, as he slid his hands down to your back, the contact between your bodies became all that mattered.

“I know this might seem a little sudden, but I have something I need to tell you.” Stephen swallowed the lump in his throat and took a shaky breath in an attempt to steel his nerves before speaking again. You slid one of your hands up to his bicep, starting to rub little shapes in what you hoped was a soothing action.

“I already told you that I care about you, but I don’t think you understood exactly what I meant by that.” He swallowed again and took a baby step closer to you, chests now nearly touching. “I meant that I care about you more than platonically. More than as a friend, and definitely more than a friend of a friend.”

Before continuing his speech, he made a hesitant and shaky move to bring one of his hands up to cup your face. It shook even as he rested it on your face, and even more as he tried brushing his thumb over your cheekbone. He pressed his lips together in what seemed like a look of defeat, and you brought your hand up to hold his. At this point, both of you were soaked in rain water, but the heat of the moment felt like more than enough to keep the cold at bay.

“I understand if you don’t feel the same way, but I… I think I…” He started to look away, eyes shut tight, and his hands dropped to his sides. “Dammit, why can’t I just-”

“Stephen.”

He still didn’t look back at you, so you did what he had moments ago and brought the hand on his arm up to his face, softly angling it to look at you again.

“Stephen.”

This time he didn’t look away, although he seemed a bit embarrassed.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I do, but it’s a little hard to just confess that I’m in love with you out of nowhere, isn’t it?”

He froze, like the words escaped a tight jail cell made specifically for them. Meanwhile, a grin formed on your face, like the words had entered a special place in your heart made specifically for them.

“You’re in love with me?” You stepped just a bit closer, chests now touching, and you let your hand caress the side of his face. He seemed to unfreeze with every movement.

“Yeah, I am.” He was finally responsive, bringing his hands to the middle of your back.

“Good, because I’m in love with you too.”

“Is that so?”

You hummed in response.

“In that case, I have another confession to make.”

“Shoot.”

“I’d very much like to kiss you right now.” He leaned in close enough for the tips of your noses to graze each other, but with enough room for you to pull away if you wanted to. Your grin widened.

“What a coincidence, I’d like that too.”

“Oh, shut up.” And with that, he finally leaned in to close the gap between your lips.

Your hand slid to the back of his neck, slightly pulling him in closer if that were even possible, and he did the same by tugging you in by the waist. The rain continued to pour, and you eventually had to pull away with a laugh because of how messy the kiss was getting due to the rain. When you did, you were met with the breathtaking sight of Stephen, hair glued to his forehead from the rain, and smiling more vibrantly than you had ever seen. The streetlight only served to make him seem more angelic.

Little did you know, he felt the same. Your affection and love freely flowing through your eyes into your expression and body language, all directed at him, was overwhelmingly positive. He felt it in his heart that this moment would be cherished for the rest of his life.

Your laughter settled, and after a handful of seconds of simply staring at each other, you shivered. The fire in your veins wasn’t enough to keep the cold at bay after all.

“We should head back,” Stephen reached into his pocket for his sling ring and created a portal to the sanctum. Specifically, his bedroom.

“Oh, Stephen. You’re awfully forward today, aren’t you?” You teased as you stepped into the portal, cringing a bit when the rain water dripped off of you and formed a small puddle on the ground.

“That’s not—god, you’ll be the death of me.” He followed you in, heading straight for the bathroom connected to his bedroom and pulling out a couple towels. It was then he realized the issue.

“I should’ve portaled you home, huh?” He looked up from the towels in his hands to you who leaned on the doorway of the bathroom, the cloak of levitation floating behind you in the bedroom.

“You get it now?” You laughed softly as you stepped into the bathroom, reaching for one of the towels in the sorcerer’s hands. “It’s alright, we can just take turns with the shower.” Before he could suggest otherwise, you leaned in close enough to feel his warm breath on your cheeks. “Or, we could shower together?” The last thing you saw before a towel was thrown into your face was a wonderful blush growing on Stephen’s face.

In the end, he agreed to your initial solution because he didn’t want the night to end quite yet. You showered first and he lent you some clothes to change into. Your time together stretched into ungodly hours of the night and was spent cooking and eating dinner, talking, and a little bit of kissing. When it was time for you to leave, Stephen created a portal to the front of your apartment door, watched you go inside (even though it was literally only a few feet away), and spent another hour or so in bed replaying the events of the day and enjoying the warmth bubbling under his skin. It was safe to say you were in no better condition.

#stephen strange x male reader #stephen strange x reader #dr strange x male reader #dr strange x reader #dr strange fanfic #stephen strange fanfiction #marvel x male reader #fluff #marvel fluff #stephen strange fluff

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rinharu-purple · 3 years ago

Text

On Jealousy

I owe this analysis/answer to an anon ask which I've accidentally posted, though only with the introduction sentence and then couldn't retrieve.🙈

Dear anon, this analysis is dedicated to you.

I HOPE YOU SEE THIS!!! 🙏🏻💫🙏🏻

Thank you @sin-with-quiche for proofreading and @lunabai78 for the spiritual support 💕💕💕

---—-----—

We have quite a number of moments in our journey with Gavin... Some are funny, some are cute, some are...mmm over the edge

(。-ω-)ﾉ

If you ask me whether Gavin is a jealous man, I would give you two answers:

1) Pre and early relationship... Absolutely!

2) Established relationship... The fitting colloquial term is "territorial".

In order to look at Gavin's attitude towards other males and whether to categorize them as jealous behaviour or not, first we need to describe jealousy .

Jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety.

The word stems from the French jalousie, formed from jaloux (jealous), and further from Low Latin zelosus (full of zeal), in turn from the Greek word ζήλος (zēlos), sometimes "jealousy", but more often in a positive sense "emulation, ardour, zeal" (with a root connoting "to boil, ferment"; or "yeast").

As you can see, there are different set of emotions that might boil or ferment the reaction of jealousy in one's belly.

My personal take on this is that jealousy arises from two simple things 1) Lack of self-confidence 2) Lack of trust towards one's partner (in terms of romantic jealousy). You don't get jealous when you know you're one hell-of-a-mate and are with the right person. Which is why as we will see in a minute Gavin fits the bill at the beginning but afterwards his jealousy isn't actually jealousy at all!

So which sets of emotions lead to his jealous behaviour and in which conjuncture?

We know that Gavin is completely attuned to MC. This also applies for his reaction towards the presence of other guys around her. So the type of jealousy he displays is attuned to MCs type of reaction to the source of his jealousy. He observes MCs aura and attitude carefully and then reacts in an either desirous, protective, territorial or downright pouty manner.

If he sees the person is overstepping their boundaries like TNTs Tyson or the guys catcalling her during Romantic Date, he gets protective. If he sees someone from his inner cycle being only the slightest overfamiliar with MC as in his phone call with Eli, he gets territorial and draws boundaries. If he gets ditched by MC and walks on her having lunch with another guy all the while she's being touched by him and she's not showing any protest, he pouts in the corner and stabs MC with his words "Too much of anything can get boring after a while" (love this moment and how Joe delivers this line with a strong tonation on the word - boooring-)

If he sees the person is actually drawing MCs attention, well... This is where we can look more into. Because this is actually a stereotypical example of making one jealous. Seeing your love interest with another person in an over-friendly manner.

In Trio Date, he worries that MC might have a crush on Kiro and a close relationship with him. Which is understandably an alarming situation for him, because he isn't that close to her himself and Kiro is... well... Kiro. Pretty much everyone's into him 🌟. But Gavin doesn't show any aggression or envy towards Kiro. On the contrary, he praises him for his charm and even says that he can see what people mean by that as in confessing to being charmed by Kiro himself. I really praise how elegant Gavin acts in the face of this situation 👑 Needless to say, it's a Gavin date, meaning the canon couple in this scenario is Gavin x MC (On a side note pretty bold and disrespectful of PG to put another LI in the supporting male role in a date for another tbh) And also RIP Chandler, the poor guy didn't do anything wrong ^_^

At this point I need to let one thing out of my chest though. I can't say that I appreciate him telling MC when and where to wear revealing clothes <spoiler alert> only for him. Even though we don't actually see him seriously forbidding her to wear them I think it would be better to leave her be the judge of it. But considering the fact that she gets catcalled even at his presence I can kinda see why Gavin gets protective here. On a side note, his girlfriend isn't better on this matter either. MC covers Gavin's body at the beach during 2021 summer event in CN server so that other girls don't drool over him 🤣 These two have some homework to do in that department I tell you that 😅

In the more mature phases of their relationship, we no longer see Gavin feeling himself threatened by the presence of another male. AT ALL! All Gavin jealousy after this point is only because someone is overstepping their boundaries and making "his girl" uncomfortable.

Gavin might be the one acting jealous the most frequently among the LIs, but he never ever gets possessive over her, limits her freedom or makes unconfirmed self proclaims on behalf of her. Being possessive over someone objectifies them and the moment you objectify a person, you no longer need to be in a relationship with them tbh. Leaving your partner room to breathe and respecting their personal space is important and Gavin does this the best alongside with Kiro. We also never see Kiro getting possessive, limiting or doing anything of that nature with MC.

Further in their relationship Gavin still acts jealous, but in an extremely cute, pure and harmless way. Be it against prankster ghosts, animals she's met in the middle of the desert, a wild child, service dogs, birds and co. Basically anyone and anything that diverts her attention from him for more than a nanosecond can be perceived as a threat but an adult male 😂At his core, Gav-babe wants MC all for himself but his jealousy is actually only adorkable.

(´∀｀)♡

In the main story, however, there is a certain LI which becomes the magnet for Gavin's firsthand jealousy and even kinda provokes this. And this is actually what I am dying to write about in this post😈. It only happens at the beginning of the story, but I love it so much and therefore it must be in this post.

Gavin shows signs of jealousy towards one particular LI at various occasions and that is...

Gavin shows obvious signs of jealousy towards our genius scientist and that is completely understandable! Lucien is the one who makes his advances first and is the most straightforward one throughout the main story. Plus, he lives right next to MC and, let's be honest here, is the only one who toys with MC's poor hormones the most. Just to give one example:

Gavin and MC don't become quite a couple before CH12 and S1 Gavin has some issues with self-worth and confidence (towards MC). When he meets MC again after 6 years, he is perplexed and is fairly clueless as to how to approach her romantically. Lest Gavin making the wrong moves, he acts weirdly around MC which further confuses her. Gav-babe is really weird at the beginning of the story 😅

The first time we see Gavin getting jealous about Lucien is in CH2, when he and MC spend a prolonged period of time for the first time as they investigate the time warping incident. Our birdcop is hopelessly in love with MC so when he sees her become so red on the phone with another person, he gets worked up.

Fun trivia, Joe's reaction to this moment can be found here

The second instance is when MC spends two nights in a row with Lucien in CH5 and then falls asleep in her office.

It is crucial to remember at this point that up to CH5, MC seems to be most romantically involved with Lucien and spends most of her time with him. LuLu mercilessly teasing her and flirting with her doesn't help much in that sense either because he is actively making advances on her. Thus announcing his candidacy for "Mr. Love". So when Gavin catches MC spending nights following Lucien, having phone calls with him, living right next door to him, working closely with him and blushes because of him, it's fairly understandable that our birdcop gets fairly jealous because at that point in the story Lucien seems to have a better shot at love with her than he does.

Btw, MC flatlines on his question as to who is the resource of her flustering this time around and doesn't explain herself ;)

Interestingly though, in the third instance, where Gavin sees MC and Lucien, he isn't jealous at all! In the famous "Rude Awakening" moment, the vibes we get at first is as if Gavin walks in to MC and Lucien. But actually our protective boyfriend is there to save MCs life. What's more, he doesn't give credit to Lucien's provocations, such as when he calls Gavin "dangerous" or pulls MC behind him, stays extremely close to her and plays the "protective boyfriend" in front of him. On Gavin's defense, the one actually saves MCs life and protects her is Gavin here as he deflects the bullet shot at her.¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Furthermore, he asks Lucien to take MC home, albeit not before telling her that he will be contacting her later, signaling to Lucien that he shouldn't stick along for long. A highly subtle way of "marking his territory", much like a wolf would. God I love this scene both in the main story and in the anime.

It is necessary to mention at this point that the chapter following this scene revolves around Gavin and MC clearing all kinds of misunderstandings between them and MC trying to bind with him. Hence laying the first stones in the temple of their relationship. After that point we no longer see Gavin showing any kind of jealousy towards anyone. So mark CH7 people ;)

----—-----—-----—

You know what I would love to see? Gavin getting jealous over Shaw. I wonder whether he even knows that MC spends time with him 🤔 Too bad that PG has left the idea "brother conflict".

If you would like to read another perspective on this, Cheri has posted her analysis here

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stevenbasic · 3 years ago

Text

shhhh.

ugh.

That’s...that’s someone texting me.

I was woken by the sound of my phone, the first beams of sun sneaking in through the cheap plastic blinds of my apartment’s small, single window. I was disoriented - what time was it? How long had I been sleeping? I thought I was in my office, on that cot? Anyway, someone was texting me, and…

There it was again, a fourth alert, from a number I didn’t recognize. And it was morning, not quite quarter-to-seven. Swiping into my texts, I immediately saw the photo…

Two of my receptionists, Brittni and Bobbi, Young girls, friends, inseparable. They were here for, uh, jesus-

"were here to pick u up n get u to the hospitall for your rounds"

Oh shit. It's Thursday morning.

Was it Thursday already?!? I was due into the hospital in - oh christ - twenty minutes!

And my - ugh ugh ugh - my car was gone! The facts, the events of the past two days began to settle back into me. It had been taken away by Sheryl, my wife. My wife had taken away my car. In my distress I had torn through the office yesterday morning more or less naked, lap-swaddled by Melissa, lifted, carried and then holy shit basically hand-raped and boob-smothered by the new Eastern European APRN, Morgan. This was all on Wednesday morning. And it was somehow Thursday already?!? How had I slept so long?!? And - who moved me from the cot in my office to here???

Anyway - I didn’t have time to think. I sprang out of bed. I needed to get ready, fast! The ignominy of needing a ride to the hospital this early AM from two of my youngest employees - something arranged, no doubt, by Melissa - was a fact I was going to have to ignore. Shirt, pants - too big. Belt - yikes. Shoes - I’m swimming in them. Was I actually 5’3”?!? Like Morgan measured yesterday? How could this be happening??? No time to be anxious, I’ll figure this out later, I decided, slamming the door to my apartment behind m-

What the hell?

The hallway was sealed off, plywood blocking the way that would have led to the stairs down to the atrium. The construction! Yes! Melissa had said they were working to tear down most of the second floor and - jesus - there were the new, small stairs, spiral, that would lead me down…

In the near-dark of the early morning I made it down, through Melissa’s silent office, and - the front entrance, also sealed - out through a side door. I was confused, disoriented. Holy shit what was happening to this place?! My practice?!

Hurriedly making my way out, finally, to the front parking lot, I found the two girls in Brittni’s white minivan, pulled up to the curb.

“hiiiiiiii….!” they sang in unison, turned from their front seats to watch me enter as I slid open the passenger’s side back door and hopped in. Their smiles were huge, delighted, and it smelled nice in the car.

“Good morning,” I answered, struggling to slam shut the door behind me, “thanks for doing this…”

“Seat belt…?” Bobbi suggested, brows raised expectantly.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” I agreed, clicking myself in, looking around the cabin a bit as we began to pull away “Nice…van.”

“It’s my family’s?” Brittni answered, turning out of the lot onto the main drag. I felt a quick, small pang of nausea hit me, like car sickness.

I shook it off.

Excited, the girls talked non-stop as we drove, Brittni with her eyes on the road or watching me in the rearview, Bobbi turned in her seat the whole time to face me. Both girls were dressed in jeans and black tops, showing - yikes - more cleavage than I’d seen in either one of them before. I did my best not to look down at Bobbi’s inviting chest, or steal glances at Brittni’s curvy profile. They were young - what? Nineteen, twenty, twenty-one? - but double yikes. Had they always been built like this??

It was thankfully a short drive to the small community hospital where I saw my patients, maybe about ten minutes. But throughout the whole thing they were giddy, giggly, obviously tickled pink by their assignment of chauffeuring me to work and amused that it was just after sunrise and they were driving their boss around since his wife had taken away his car. Their eyes glittered merrily, their smiles wide and white.

For myself I did my best to sit straight, look confident, speak clearly. My rumpled, oversized clothes and messy hair might not have helped matters; I’d gotten myself dressed and ready in all of three minutes and it showed. But, I hoped I could keep up at least some airs of professionalism in this otherwise totally demeaning situation. I needed to remain an authority figure, as best I could, to my young employees. I’d thought I was doing okay, keeping up with the light conversation which was - at the very least - thankfully distracting me from thoughts of yesterday, or how I was going to return to work at the office without melting from the humiliation. Two of my new employees - Shanette and then Morgan - had had their ways with me in less than the span of twenty-four hours. And that was notwithstanding the fact that I’d spent time cradled in my office manager’s lap. Oh my god what was happening??

In a brief moment of quiet, as Bobbi and Brittni tittered between themselves over something, I took the chance to gaze out the window. I thought about the office, remembering the hallways, the breakroom, Melissa’s couch. Aside from the humiliation I was beginning, for some reason, to feel a little...homesick? Thinking I shouldn’t be leaving, driving further away. It made me feel funny, like I was doing something wrong. Another brief wave of nausea hit me; I took a deep breath and stopped looking out the window. Settle down, I told myself, but couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. A deep breath - smelling of the girls, that new perfume - helped.

Before I knew it, though, we were pulled up to the front entrance of the hospital and Bobbi and Brittni were waving me goodbye, each smiling out the passenger’s side window as I gathered myself and stepped onto the sidewalk.

“Byeeeeee…!” they both sang, giggling as I hurried away. Thankfully I’d remembered my briefcase. “We’ll pick you up here at eleven..!” I heard Bobbi call after me.

Inside the front entrance, I stopped. I heard the sliding doors close off behind me, and I took another deep breath. There was that nausea again. Get it together, J.

Rounds. My Thursday mornings had, for years, consisted of me visiting my patients in their rooms: the diabetics, the stroke victims, the heart failures. Those that had been brought in as emergencies or ones that I’d admitted myself over the past weeks. Part of me always enjoyed rounds, seeing my patients in a different environment than the office, helping coordinate their care. I also liked the staff at the hospital, and had grown friendly with many of the nurses, receptionists and other physicians.

But, right off the bat, my visit this week went weirdly. Aside from the now-frequent waves of nausea, I was acutely aware of the stares. If I’d had hopes that no one would notice that I looked small, pale and weak, that my clothes didn't fit, that I was basically a shrunken mess - well, I was sadly mistaken. Not that much was mentioned, at first, but I’m sure they all saw how I was making mistakes, unable to concentrate, dropping things and stumbling over my words. It took one of my patients, though, about halfway through the morning as I visited him in his hospital bed, to speak the unspoken; “Where’s my real doctor?!” the old man croaked out, “This guy’s just a kid!!”

The two nurses in the room - each taller than me but somehow holding their tongues - turned to me. I began to stammer something, began to try to explain, but was immediately clenched with another grip of nausea, the worst yet. “Excuse me…” I asked, and rushed from the room.

I made it as far as the floor’s breakroom before I had to vomit in a sink.

===========================

check out my Patreon.

#growing into the job

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eunsthings · 4 years ago

Text

Museums

Part 2 l Again?

Genre: fluff🥰, slow burn i guess

(Reader is a veterinary student on more or less her final year of vet school who has a part time job in editing and is kinda smol and socially awkward)

Pairing: Tsukishima x fem!reader (post timeskip)

Word count: 2.2k

Here’s Part 1 II Series masterlist II Part 3

You have been offered a big project and now the odds are really testing you...

[friend] = a friend’s name

The content of the sent email—along with other details—stated that if you were willing, to email them back and go to the Sendai City Museum whenever you were free this week. Sitting on your bottom bunk-bed, checking your schedule, you see that you were available on the 7th of September; a Friday afternoon. You email them and confirm that you were going.

A few days had passed and it was now Friday. You were having lunch with [friend]—a close friend of yours—in a café outside your campus. After your lunch, you were going to head to the museum.

“You know, you should have just texted me.”

“What?” [friend] stops and looks up at you, pausing from eating, an innocent expression plastered on her face.

“You where the reason my phone almost got destroyed,” you deadpanned.

Your friend stares with a blank face… then bursts out laughing. “I’m so sorry—” she says, almost choking on food from laughing, “I—hahaha!” still snickering trying to speak in between gulps of air, “Oh, man. I really am sorry; it’s just that… what kind of luck do you have? A nosebleed because of a phone call?” It went on like this for some time.

“Oh by the way, are you going on the school trip?” your friend asks.

“When was that again?” you face her.

“Uhhhhh, the last week of September I think…”

“Oh, yeah, right. I don’t really know… going on a trip with people I barely know for a whole week is kind of draining,”you softly replied; pondering.

“But like—oh no! It’s almost time for your meet-up,” [friend] tells you; cutting her sentence short, both of you got lost in the euphoria of chatting with one another.

“Oh yeah, no, I have to go, I’m so sorry. Byeee~” you reply in a jumble standing up and bringing your bag with you.

“Wait,” your friend stands up with you, “I’m going with you,” She left no space for refusal as she picks up the scarf you almost left and hands it to you.

“Wow, ok,” you thought to yourself as you see the museum building in front of you. It was a very nice modern-looking building.

With your friend beside you, you enter its doors.

Inside, it had many things on display–mostly about the history of Sendai and samurais as well as a certain “Date” family. Both of you try looking for the office and almost ended up lost before you were able to look for a person to ask; it was weirdly devoid of people.

Reaching the office, an assistant, you had guessed, told you to make yourself comfortable while waiting. You did as you were told. Both you and [friend] were seated in a big open space with displays all around. This area was frequently passed by tourists, you can tell by the layout of the space.

Your friend was looking at displays around the huge space and you were scrolling through your phone when a man appeared around a corner.

You barely glance up when you look back down to your phone. “Wait a second,” you look back up again, bewilderment rising. He was holding a pen and notebook in his hands, “Oh no,” by now, memories of your “faceplant incident” had surfaced. You were silently staring as he passed–the blond man who handed you a handkerchief. “What in the world!? Was he here to take notes for research or something?” he turned to the side almost disappearing around another corner when you made eye contact.

He momentarily paused, fixing his glasses ; probably confused—“He had glasses on… did he have glasses last time?”—when another voice sounded from the end of the hall he was in. Someone probably called him. He then broke eye contact and vanished behind a wall.

You were still dumbfounded, staring at the wall in front of you trying to process what just happened. “What are the odds of that huh?” you had chuckled at yourself. “Who was that?” your friend had come down to sit beside you.

“Ugh. Remember when I told you about how my phone almost broke?”

“Yeah, you faceplanted on the sidewalk.”

“That guy was there to witness it and kinda helped me,” [friend] burst out laughing again after your statement.

“What are the odds of that happening!” she now had tears in her eyes from laughing, “Is it embarrassing? HAHAHA. It’s ok… it’s ok,” by now she was smacking her leg and doubling over.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, stop laughing at me~” you were shaking her trying to make her stop. You can’t handle any more shame.

“Ok, ok. But he was just probably here for his studies you know, so that’s over now, at least you didn’t have to talk to him.”

“Yeah, ‘at least.’”

The assistant had come back for you, telling you to follow them to the office. Your friend had only offered a thumbs-up as you left her in the hall.

You enter what you guess to be an office. A middle-aged man sat behind a desk in the room and gestured for you to take a seat; a chair in front of his table. He introduced himself as a Mister Yasuhiro, the director for the museum. He discussed the reason for calling you; they’d have a big charity event to be held in the museum on the first week of October; so that leaves about a month of preparation time. They needed animators to make the motion picture to be played in a loop all around the exhibits---for overall effect. He smiles warmly at you.

“Y/N, I know you’re a very talented artist,” he stated, “We’d really like to have you on-board for this project although I know you have school. You have top marks so I don’t think that it will be a problem considering you’ve been doing this for a long time now,” he was right, you never really had a problem in school, just times when you have off weeks or think you failed but still keep pulling though up top, “Although of course you’ll have one other animator with you to help share the load,” Yasuhiro continues.

You were thinking and something seems off to you, “Um—Sir, I’m really thankful for the opportunity you’ve given me but… why me? There are better professional animators out there… which, compared to me—” he cuts you off, “You see, we are also tasked to showcase the talents of young individuals and why not apply that to everything else?” You couldn’t reply anything else but a soft “oh”.

“We’d love to have you but I’d really have to ask if you’d be okay taking on this project on short notice,” Yasuhiro makes you consider the offer. “If you’re really fine having me help, then I’d be very much more than willing to,” a soft sort of calm determination escapes you—this was a very big chance after all. The middle-aged man lit up in joy and thanked you.

He seemed friendlier in contrast to others with the same position as he; much more now when he was clapping softly. You had noticed he was a cheerful man.

After you accepted their job, he discusses to you about the amount they’ll be paying you; and man were you happy you took the offer. Yasuhiro then proceeded to talk about what you’ll be doing in a general sense, “Oh and don’t worry about the content, you’ll have someone as a partner from the museum to help you with it.”

“That would really be great! Thank you!” You replied.

The director then proceeded to call his assistant, “Could you bring him in now?” Your brain glitches a bit, “him”? "A boy!? Nah, it’s just probably someone he’s got business with,” a short internal monologue played in your head.

You hear the door squeak open behind you and then come to a close. You were still facing the director, “This fellow will be helping you with the content of your animation, he’s currently an intern here,” you slowly turn around trying to face the alleged intern hoping to see a new face. Instead, you were met with a tall, blond and uninterested-faced person; glasses in front of his golden-brown irises. “Your partner for the project, Tsukishima Kei,” Yasuhiro announces from his desk.

Looking down for the first time since he entered, the guy named “Tsukishima” only blinked in response to what seems to be his own shock and confusion.

Unable to meet his gaze, you turn back around to face the director just gawking at him with slightly squinted eyes and a stupid expression displayed; unable to form words. “What are the odds?”

Mister Yasuhiro—having been facing you—asked, “Is something the matter?” he trailed off awkwardly.

“No,” you replied in unison.

“Oh?” the director was now joined in both your confusion.

“It’s fine, we just happened to bump into each other a while back. We’re just surprised,” Kei explained in his drawly voice as if nothing happened.

“Oh! Well that’s good then. You’re already acquainted so that’s step one done,” the director clapped his hands together in joy. “So that’s that. Kei will be showing you around the museum later. He’ll coordinate your schedules and disclose to you everything else that I missed,” the director smirked and sat up from his chair, “You can meet with the other duo the next time you come here. Good luck to you both.”

You found yourself in a hall outside of the office. A tall man beside you. Silence heavy in the air.

“So…” the beanpole spoke, “What’s your name?” both of you facing the same end of the hallway.

“I—uh. L/N F/N. Nice to meet you,” a straightforward reply, still refusing to look at each other.

“Yeah, nice to meet you too… for the third time.” The awkwardness was killing you.

“Yeahhh—about the first time… I never got to thank you for helping me…” you soften to a whisper, “and your handkerchief is ruined—I’ll just replace it.”

“Tch. There’s no need for that,” he looks at the bunch of paper in his hands, “Anyway~” he starts walking, “I have to show you around the museum.”

You follow behind him and later he stops abruptly. You are now in the big hall you were waiting in earlier. He hands you a sheet of paper, “Here’s the initial schedule. We’ll alter that to accommodate your own next time. Hold on to it for now,” He then looks around the room, “Weren’t you accompanied by someone else?” Realization dawns on you, yes, you were accompanied by F/N. Where is she now? You check your phone.

“Ah. She had forgotten to submit a term paper,” Tsukishima’s only response was a shrug and a slight pout, “Well then, let’s proceed.”

Touring around the city museum took a long while, your amazingly weak ankles decided to act up but in the end, you finished going around the displays in the building. He showed you where they were planning to put the main event as well as where all the side gimmicks would be. Accounting it all, it would kind of be an immersive event wherein wherever you go in the museum, you’d be greeted by animations and displays.

Both of you finished your tour at the main entrance balcony outside; it was already late in the afternoon. He paused beside you and turned to face you. You look to your side and see him fumbling around his pockets.

“Uh— w-what are you doing?” you asked meekly.

He raised his head to the ceiling and let out an exasperated sigh, “I was supposed to give you your museum pass. But I forgot that the ones meant for you and the other guy haven’t been modified yet—don’t ask.”

“Well that’s fine I guess, I can always just ask permission.”

“No, that makes a lot of hassle for everyone,” he interjects too quickly for your liking, but then he follows softly, “plus not everyone is always present here to let you in… that and the varying schedules clash.”

You felt thankful for his kinder follow-up, “Oh. So what now?”

“About the schedule, I think we need to exchange contacts.” And so you both did.

You gave him your phone number as well as your messenger account (in case). He then entered his phone number in your phone.

“Huh, I guess your phone’s okay now,” he handed it back.

“Really!? He had to bring it up,” you half-scream internally.

“And about the pass…” he placed everything he was holding in one hand and removed the ID dangling from his neck, “here,” he was holding it out to you.

You held your hands up, “But that- that’s yours—”he didn’t let you finish your sentence, “I can’t have you coming and going without a pass, so here, I won’t always be here to babysit you” he slipped it on your head, “Your pass later on will look somewhat like that. Don’t worry, I have an extra one at home, just don’t lose that. We’ll trade later.” Your face began to heat up, “What the heck!!”

"Until next time then Y/N."

He walked back to the doors but before he entered, he held the handle and looked back at you, “Expect me to contact you sometime between tomorrow and the next day, try not to ignore it,” with that, he goes inside leaving you in front of the stairs in the late afternoon glow.

Part 1 II Series masterlist II Part 3

Notes:

We use messenger because why not... (It’s actually because in my country we use messenger a lot and so yeah...)

I wish you enjoyed (0.0)

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cherryafton · 4 years ago

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Together forever (oc!Bell/Stitch)

Fandom: Call of Duty Black Ops: Cold War

Warnings: Blood, torture, starving, violence, mild gore, whump, angst, spoilers.

Summary: Bell survived hell caused by Adler only to be trapped by the devil himself, Stitch. Give her a break.

This fic takes place after the events of the game. Let’s say, Bell survives to the shot and because she’s related to Perseus, he sends people to search for her body only to realize she’s alive. Of course, she needs to be penalized for her betrayal.

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28562193/chapters/69996273

Word count: 1005

A/N: Big thanks to @yunatheintrovert for getting me into my new obsession, giving me a lot of feedback and just helping me out to improve. I appreciate everything they’ve done for me. They’re an amazing writer. Please check out their blog. :-)

I’m using my oc Viktoria. If you want to know more about her, check out her tag (oc: viktoria norin bell)

Also, I have a playlist inspired by this fic (it’s still in progress so I don’t have a lot of songs there, if you have any song suggestions, I’d love to know them). You can listen to it here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/58pSSmNvqKXpBD7fX4KxAn?si=wnFXRCLXTpSgeOvP4A63PA

Anyway, I hope you like it!

Chapter 1: Rebirth

A painful blow woke Viktoria up, “Wake up, подонок” a voice buzzed through her ears.

Stunned, she looked in the direction where the blow came from. She hazily noticed a large figure standing beside her as he pulled up a chair and sat in front of her.

When her vision completely cleared, the figure was a masked man with a distinctive scar on his left eye.

He grasped her chin and eyed her with hatred “Perseus has been looking for you everywhere and it was to expect, you’re related. Unfortunately for you, you’re a survivor which means you have to pay for what you did,”

“You are a traitor and I will treat you like one, being Perseus’s granddaughter won’t save you” he continued as he finally let go of her face.He stood up, gaze never leaving her.

“Bell, we’ve got a job to do” was the last thing she heard.

‘No, not again, please’ she thought as she was standing in a corridor and saw that damn red door again. She tried to focus herself on something else, but her attempts were useless. Viktoria didn’t have a choice but to walk towards the door.

She took a deep breath and opened it, which took her back to the Safehouse, like it used to be.

“Welcome back, Bell’’ Park greeted with a smile as she walked past beside her. She looked around and everyone was there, even Lazar, but something felt off.

Adler was missing.

Typically, he would’ve been sitting in front of the evidence board while smoking a cigarette or in the office doing paperwork. She looked out everywhere for him until she went into the red room, decorated with all the pictures she’d taken on the missions.

Suddenly, the tv at the end of the room turned on. She peeked out of the room. The Safehouse had become empty with no one being around anymore. She walked towards the tv in confusion until she noticed it was playing footage of war, the same she's always seen.

She closed her eyes. When she opened them, she was in that jungle, living those fake memories again until she arrived at the door and came back to the corridor.

This time, she saw Adler entering through the door, “Adler, wait!” she shouted as she ran towards the door and when she opened it, he went gone, just an empty dark room.

“Don’t leave me, not again, please” she said, crying out. She laid down on the floor and curled up, realizing she got herself into something worse.

Vika gained conscience when she received a hit, this time, to the temple.

“Come back to earth, сука” a soldier scowled, she looked up at him.

“Fuck off” she said blankly, earning other punch on the nose, it started bleeding and now, he didn’t stop beating her up. After some minutes that felt like an eternity, someone gestured to him to cease. They turned off the lights and left the room, leaving her in the darkness, her entire body throbbing. She spent her days like that, lights off, no food and an insignificant amount of water.

What they were doing to her was barbarous, humiliating.

One day, they gave her a decent meal and the soldier that brought her the food had the lowest ranks because of his uniform. The way he tried to act tough but failed. He untied her to the chair she was in to allow her to eat.

“No funny business or you’re done, got it?” he scolded as he drew his gun, Vika just nodded and stood up to stretch her legs. After a while, she sat and started eating as if there was no tomorrow.

She savored the sensation of having something in her stomach. When she finished, she stood up again, knowing this weirdly kind gesture happened once in a lifetime.

She didn’t even dare to escape, it’s not that she enjoyed being there, but she was weak and couldn’t stand a chance to escape. She definitely didn’t want to test her luck.

The soldier signaled her to sit and tied her again to the chair. He turned off the lights. Before leaving, he simply said, “You’re lucky Stitch is compassionate with you, you know?” with that, he left.

His statement stuck in her mind and she kept thinking about it frequently.

‘Why? He said he wouldn’t treat me differently just because gramps is his chief, he must need something from me, that’s for sure’ there’s just one way to find out.

Stitch came back. He had that look in his eyes, determination; she recognized that look pretty well, she’s seen it before, she had it before. Then she saw a combat knife in his hand.

That wasn’t good.

Stitch walked towards Vika. He lowered himself to be at her height and removed his gas mask.

“Oh Bell, у тебя была работа” he sighed and bit her earlobe, suddenly he turned to give her a small peck on her neck.

She froze there, not knowing what to do (not that she could) but it turned into her least preoccupation when she felt an unbearable pain in her abdomen.

‘That son of a bitch’ she thought as she looked down to see her clothes full of blood, he pulled her hair, Viktoria closed her eyes, earning her a slap on the cheek.

“Look at me,” Stitch commanded. She complied, hoping he’d stop and stared at him, eyes watering from the pain inflicted.

“будь ты проклят” Viktoria’s tone lowered to the point that it was almost like a murmur. He took out the blade, which gained a groan from her as she tried to move away.

He didn’t stop, bruise after bruise, stab after stab, her arms, her torso, her legs.

She was all bloodied, her vision blurred, her head was spinning and finally, he stopped.

‘This is the end, this is finally it’ she thought, numbly laying there. It was only a matter of time before she passed out from the injuries.

Here's the meaning of the words I used for this fic:

подонок: bastard

сука: bitch

у тебя была работа: you had a job to do

будь ты проклят: damn you

#my writing #tw: blood #tw: abuse #tw: mild gore #tw: violence #tw: torture #tw: whump #post-canon #vikhor stitch kuzmin #vikhor kuzmin #bell oc #Oc: Viktoria Norin Bell #vikhor stitch kuzmin x bell #vikhor kuzmin x bell #stitch x bell

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amelink66world · 4 years ago

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Love of my Life

Heyy guys!!! This is the next part in my multi-fic. You can even read this story on wattpad by the same name. Enjoyyy!

Caught in the Act!!

Calling their act of keeping their relationship under wraps 'stressful' was an understatement. When they decided to break their promise of 'taking things slow', announcing that they were together in front of the entire hospital on the loud speaker was not discussed. Already hiding it from Meredith was daunting enough. Amelia was just waiting for the perfect opportunity to tell her. She just needed some time to brace herself for the opinions and thoughts Mer would have about them.

In the mean time, keeping her hands off the gorgeous Ortho God tarting around in those tight, little blue scrubs added more to the injury. Link was definitely doing it on purpose. On more occasions than she could remember, he often caught her drooling while he consulted on a patient in the ER. He would merely smirk in her direction and leave. JUST LEAVE!! Look at the nerve of that sexy, filthy, dirty, little man. Riling me up like this. She huffed in frustration and always went after him. It was like a game they were playing. He frequently sought her out in her lab during his free time between surgeries, trying to pry her out of her chair. This was the time where she played hard to get and he would get so aroused that he would literally pull her out of her chair and push her in the direction of the on-call room. Amelia was more than happy to comply.

Today was no different. She was reviewing her charts at the nurse's station when somebody slid close to her, bumping shoulders. She didn't even have to look up to know who it was, she just knew Link's touch. She smirked when he started rubbing their arms together silently urging her on. She locked eyes with him, smiling and got lost in his stormy grey orbs. He was definitely seeking some action. Time for some aerobics!

He desperately wanted to kiss that smug expression right off her face in front of the entire hallway but he knew he couldn't do that. Word spread like a wild fire in this damn hospital and he knew Amelia needed some time to go public. So he respected her decision but that didn't stop him from staring into her beautiful, ocean blue eyes. God he loved those eyes. They were the most beautiful, innocent and equally sexiest pair of eyes he had ever seen!

After a few seconds of staring, Amelia sharply nodded and entered the nearest on-call room without attracting attention. Link stealthily followed seconds later. As soon as he was inside, he felt himself being forcefully pushed against the door with Amelia attacking his lips. He smirked at her eagerness and responded immediately. His arms went around her body to her ass and he squeezed her butt cheeks roughly, bringing their hips closer than ever. Amelia groaned in his mouth and Link used this opportunity to deepen the kiss. She buried her fingers in his soft, dirty blonde hair overwhelmed with how good Link's swirling tongue felt.

Link switched their positions and it was him now who did the pushing against the door. Amelia groaned and hooked a leg around his waist rubbing their cores together. Link growled and broke the kiss, moving to her jaw, almost marking her. He knew how much she liked it. He pushed his hands inside her scrub top, inching them swiftly to her breasts. He roughly squeezed her breasts, making her moan loudly. Amelia was panting with arousal and tugged at his hair sharply. She pried his hands away from her with much resistance to yank his scrub top off of him.

She unabashedly stared at his bare torso for a few long seconds then ran her fingers through his muscular chest and rock, hard abs. God I love this man's body! Freaking Adonis.

Link was smirking and letting her enjoy the view but the twitch in his pants was becoming unbearable. It was as if she could read his mind and suddenly slid her hand inside his pants, groping him. Link groaned and twitched swiftly in her expert fingers and palm. Motivated by his reaction by what she did to him she sank to her knees and pulled down his pants along with his boxers. She looked up in his eyes before taking him in her mouth. Link groaned loudly and overwhelmed with pleasure, rested his forehead against the door. Save me from this Goddess!!! Fearing he won't be able to last long at her frequent pace, he pulled her up by her neck. Amelia licked her lips and smiled innocently up at Link. He could actually feel his eyes almost turning black and attacked her.

He almost tore her scrub top whilst fervently kissing her. He pushed her pants down and moved down to her neck. He nipped at her pulse point and she but her lip in anticipation. He squeezed her ass before pulling her legs around his waist and started maneuvering them towards the bed. Amelia yelped at this sudden change and held onto his shoulders for dear life. He was kissing her breasts when he pushed her down on the bed, between the sheets. Amelia was confident she had never moaned like this before. It was like she had unleashed an animal. His touch was igniting a passionate fire inside her body. She was tingling all over. Heck she feared she might come right then!! They hadn't even gotten to the part where the real action happens!!

She was so overwhelmed with pleasure that she never even realised when he maneuvered his hand south. She arched her body and groaned oh, so loudly when she felt his cool finger down there. Her voice was hoarse and thick with arousal. Link was having a hard time keeping himself in control. Her voice was slowly breaking his resolve. His lips were swiftly and smoothly moving down her jaw but she could swear that he had a smug smile on his face. He will definitely be the death of me! She sighed and arched into his body when he added a finger. She was completely going out of her mind and was about to reach ecstasy when BAM...

The couple whipped their heads to the door and came face to face with none other than...

"ALEX!!!!", Amelia screeched at a wide-eyed and grimacing Alex and Link recovered from his state of initial shock to quickly cover them with the sheet in the hope of saving whatever dignity they had left. Every single person in the room was astonished at the turn of events, Amelia more than others. WHAT THE HELL MAN!!! I WAS JUST ABOUT TO FINISH! UGGHH.

Alex grumbled loudly and hurriedly replaced the shock registered on his face with a grimace. " Wait. This is happening too??!! Now when did this start?! "

He cursed under his breath, " My freaking luck! First Nico and Glasses and now you two! I'm running a mad house here!! " He then loudly said, " This place is filled with horny teenagers who cannot keep it in their pants!! Can't even sleep around here...and I'm not talking about sleeping with people!! " He groaned audibly.

Alex was beyond appalled with this course of development. He considered Amelia more like a sister and kind of felt a protective twinge towards her but also knew that she was with Link. That guy was the kindest person he had ever met ! At least he was happy that she had found someone who could keep her happy. No matter how much he liked having these two around, he no way in hell wanted to be in this situation and witness them bumping uglies.

Alex was so engrossed in his thoughts that he actually forgot the part where he barged in on Amelia and Link having sex!! When he still didn't seem to move, both of them simultaneously shouted,

"Alex, get your ass out of here!!"

"Come on, maaaan. Please go! "

That seemed to break his reverie and he grumbled before slamming the on-call room door and practically running out. The couple couldn't actually comprehend what just happened and stared at the closed door. Amelia, wide-eyed, turned towards Link to gauge his reaction and found his mirroring hers. They turned their astonished faces towards each other and both noticed the teasing and bright gleam in their eyes. They couldn't hold it in any longer and broke out into a fit of laughter. Link half collapsed on her body and half on the mattress but she didn't seem to care about his weight and continued laughing. Amelia was kind of famous and known for always barging in on people or interrupting them whilst having sex but this was the first time something like this happened with her. God! Now I know what Addison and Maggie and many others would've felt!

Link was now lying next to her, facing her. The laughter slowly died down and they just laid there staring at each other with radiant smiles on their faces. Link suddenly got worried. " Now the secret is out! Alex will obviously tell Meredith. What are we gonna do?! "

Amelia weirdly felt really calm and okay with this predicament. All of Link's worry quickly dissolved when he took in her calm exterior. Seeing his confused expression, she answered, " Well I'm no longer worried about Meredith anymore. As long as I lo...like you, nothing else matters. But she is still my sister. I value her opinion but I won't let it cloud my judgement like last time. I'm weirdly comfortable in our relationship and the Revis nothing to worry about even if the whole hospital comes to know about us. Word travels like wild fire in this damn hospital." Link obviously noticed her almost slip up but was confused as hell. Does she love me too?! As far a I know her, she'll freak out if I reveal my feelings. He ignored his inner turmoil and concentrated on what she was saying. She chuckled. Her voice dropped an octave and she whispered with a smile, " As long as we're together right? "

Link was exuding elation at what she was saying. "As long as we're together, nothing could you. I'll make sure of that. We'll be okay," he whispered softly. Amelia was ecstatic when she heard his words. She gave him the softest of her kisses and gazed into his gentle eyes full of love and endearment with admiration.

Link was blatantly staring in her kind, bright, blue eyes. She always gets this different gleam and shine in her eyes when she laughs and is happy. I've never seen anything prettier than this. He smiled softly at her and gently placed his palm on her cheek, rubbing his thumb softly near her eye. Amelia raised her eyebrows and grew confused why he was grinning so stupidly at her. " What? ", she smiled gently.

Link just leaned in and kissed both her eyelids eliciting a soft sigh from her. His lips then lingered at the corner of her mouth before he pulled away. She leaned into the palm of his hand and sighed. Amelia opened her eyes and saw nothing but adoration and...love? in his eyes. She slightly quirked her eyebrow at him, prying him to answer her stealthily abandoned question. Link just shook his head and marvelled, " Nothing. It's just...your eyes! They hold a certain glint and shine in them. They shine brighter according to your moods. I just love your eyes. They're so beautiful! You...you're so beautiful, Amelia." She felt so loved at his answer that she kissed him sweetly on the lips acknowledging and thanking him.

She leaned back and smiled radiantly at him and the gleam in her eyes from before returned and she grinned mischievously at him. She swiftly closed her eyes and whispered , " What color are my eyes?" Link laughed out loud remembering the moment she was reminding him of. The last time they talked about her eyes! Amelia had a cheeky grin on her face and he just wanted to smother her face with kisses at her cuteness. How can someone be so adorable?

He pretended to ponder the answer before kissing her cheek and breathing in her ear, " Well, sometimes they look green and sometimes they look blue depending on the..." , repeating the exact same words he uttered last. He trailed off waiting for her shush him again. She surprised him when she urged him to continue. " What? I'm waiting.Go on." Link grinned at the prospect of finally being able to complete his statement. "...depending on what's going on in that head of yours. Like when I do this..." he kissed her lips softly, "...they turn bright blue and when I do this...", he turned her body in his arms and kissed her jaw, "...they turn grey."

Amelia sighed and was appalled at his attentiveness. She couldn't believe how much he noticed her. She felt herself falling deeper and harder for him with each passing day. She breathed, " Oh yeah? "

" And when I do this...", he tugged at her hair, exposing more skin and she moaned, " they turn a darker shade of grey. When I do this...", he suddenly stopped everything he was doing and pulled back from her. Amelia grunted at the loss of his touch and opened her eyes in frustration. She looked at him questingly and irritatingly only to be met with playfulness in his eyes. "...when I rile you up or when you get angry, your eyes hold a fire in them and turn fiery green. " He grinned smugly down at her before laughing out loud. Amelia felt an urge to wipe that smirk right off his face and on an impulse took him completely by surprise.

Link was shocked, more than amused when she flipped their positions and now straddled him. "Didn't know you could actually write a book about my eyes! " It was now her turn to smirk when she grinded down on him and his eyes turned stormy. She turned the tables on him. He groaned audibly when she bit his earlobe and whispered breathing in his ear, " When I do this, YOUR eyes turn the darkest shade of grey known to man." This was his undoing. He knew it in his soul that she was doing this to rile him up. Well, it worked. He snapped.

He suddenly sat up, taking her by surprise. She was about to lose her balance but Link pulled her flush against his chest and kissed her with fervor. Amelia was more than happy to reciprocate. They then passionately resumed what they were interrupted from doing.

LATER...

During lunchtime, Amelia was as usual running late and Link was waiting for her in the cafeteria when out of nowhere, Jo plopped down in the seat next to him. Maggie was with Jo. She had a stupid grin and mischievous look on her face. Oh shit, this cannot be good!! Link inwardly groaned at the upcoming onslaught. Maggie sat down at the table too and was cluelessly looking between the two. " Um, what's going on? "

Jo smirked and turned fully towards Link who was busy staring at the sandwich on his plate which suddenly interested him to no deal. "You should definitely ask Link! He can tell you better about his recent activities."

Maggie connected the dots and laughed. " Oh! If you're talking about Link and Amelia getting 'caught in the act' by the Chief of Surgery, then I'm aware. I've actually known for a while. "

Link whipped his head in Maggie's direction, " Wait. You know about it?! I can understand Jo, she's Alex's wife but you know it too? "

Maggie chuckled, " Amelia told me. And I was there when you took Amelia out on a date. Remember? Also, probably the whole hospital knows by now, Link. Aren't you aware how this hospital works? "

He whined, " But it's only been an hour! " He huffed petulantly and crossed his arms.

Right on cue, Amelia sat down beside Link, flushed, with her tray. " I am so sorry. Again. I'll try my best to come on time the next time." Amelia laughed. She quickly recovered and got confused seeing Jo and Maggie's amused glances and Link's embarrassment.

Then, Alex dropped down beside his wife with a tray full of food and pecked her on the cheek in way of greeting. He then seemed to realise the people he was sitting with. He loudly groaned. " Not you two again. I don't want those pictures in my head!! I don't know what's happening man. Everywhere I go, sex is following me. On my way here, I actually walked in on Hunt and Altman about to do it in the Scan Room. I mean, come on, man! Then there's Nico and Schmitt and you too!"

Everybody laughed. Just then Meredith joined them, with Hayes trailing slightly behind. She called out to him when he was going to sit at a different table, not wanting to disturb the friends. " Hayes, you can join us." All the women on the table perked up and urged him to join Mer. Alex and Link shook their heads and just chuckled at the women's enthusiasm. Obviously almost all of the attendings knew about Cristina's gift except Hayes. Hayes smiled at everybody before sitting beside Alex.

Meredith takes in everybody's amused faces and quickly changes the topic fearing her meddling sisters might reveal something in front of Hayes. "So, what are we talking about? "

Jo was quick to answer amusedly, " About how sex is following my husband and he has become the second Amelia, barging in on people." Meredith raised her eyebrow at Alex and shook her head whilst laughing. Hayes was shocked at the topic of conversation and how he was so unfamiliar with people talking so openly about sex everywhere in this damn hospital! He knew word travelled fast here and was shocked to know how much he knew about people's dating lives! This hospital was undoubtedly different from all of his previous working places, that's for sure.

Amelia stealthily glanced towards Meredith cautiously once but Meredith noticed. She teasingly addressed her and Link, " So when were you planning on telling me, huh? " She laughed at Link's shocked expression and Amelia merely shook her head hopelessly. " What? Obviously I know, guys! What do you think, I don't know my sister? This one..." she points towards Amelia, "...wears her heart on her sleeves and this one..." she points towards Maggie, " cannot keep her mouth shut when she's excited! "

Amelia gave Maggie the stink eye. "MAGGIE! "

" What? I swear she already knew by the time I told her! Scold Alex. He told her!", she defended herself with mock innocence.

Alex piped in, " Well, all I'm saying is, I don't wanna see your wiggling asses bumping each other the first thing after a very long surgery when I desperately need a nap! "

Link, clearly very embarrassed, says, " Sorry, I'm definitely not gonna forget to lock the door the next time around! "

Jo interrupts him, " Oh shut up, Alex. You're one to say. Mer, remember when he slept with every freaking intern of my class? "

Meredith laughs loudly, " Oh, yes!! People started calling him the next Mark Sloan! So gross."

Alex, now vengeful, " Hee, hee, hee, very funny, Mer. Don't make me remind everyone of your sexcapades! " The person in question sobered up and threateningly looked him square in the eyes. Hayes was seemingly interested now more than ever. He leaned forward in his chair, now curious. All the other parties cheered loudly. Alex, oblivious to Mer's gaze, continued, " McDreamy and Mer did it all over the hospital! I highly doubt there's a place left where they didn't do it! "

" Hey! How do you know that?! I never told you this!"

Alex ignored her. " There was this one time when Addison pinned Mer's panties on the bulletin board on the surgical floor because she found them in McDreamy's coat! Bailey was so maaad! "

Hayes's eyebrows shot up to his forehead and he looked towards Meredith. Four simultaneous "WHAT??!! " were heard in response. Meredith just shrugged and wave it off, chuckling, " Shut up, Evilspawn."

Maggie was laughing the most. She had never heard of this story. Amelia dropped the bomb. "What are you laughing so much about, traitor? " Maggie immediately stopped laughing and was about to stop Amelia but she beat her to it. " Don't forget I had caught you and DeLuca going at it like sex crazed bunnies twice in one day! And remember when you thought DeLuca gave you a UTI ?! " Everyone erupted in laughter. Maggie was super embarrassed but looked cautiously towards Meredith, trying to gauge her reaction on hearing DeLuca's name but she was laughing heartily. Oh, thank God!

Hayes and Link simultaneously spoke up, " Maggie and DeLuca were a thing?! " Everyone nodded their heads.

" Wow."

"Guys, remember when Jo had sex with Glasses?", Meredith spoke up. Jo whipped her head in her direction, her face cringing. Alex groaned audibly and smacked his head, " Don't remind me that, Mer."

There was not one person who didn't laugh at the recollection of that memory with the exception of Link and Hayes. Link asked. " Who's Glasses? "

Everyone replied together in chorus, " Schmitt!! "

Link looked at Jo, horrified, judging her silently. "Is he not gay?! "

" Well he wasn't !! Before Nico, that is."

" You had sex with Schmitt?! Brooke, seriously?! "

" Hey! No judging here. Alex is to blame here. I tried to get over him when we broke up at the time by having a one night stand. Not my proudest moment." She groaned.

Hayes was more than astonished and cried, " Was everyone having sex with everyone ?! "

Alex piped in, " Like I said earlier, this hospital is filled with sex-crazed, horny doctors! " Everyone laughed heartily while shaking their heads. No matter what, each and every single one of them had great memories in this hospital and no place could ever replace Grey Sloan Memorial! "

Link still hung up on the whole Glasses thing, inquired, " I have one more question though. Why did you people call Schmitt, Glasses? "

Jo guffawed, recalling that memory, " Well, he was in surgery with Mer and me when he looked down and his loose glasses fell down in the open body cavity! Hence the name Glasses!! " Meredith grimaced which prompted the others to laugh out loudly.

Maggie now interrupts, " We are missing the point! We should never forget to lock the on-call room doors from now on to avoid the Amelia and Link situation! I have already seen Amelia in all of her naked glory enough times already to last a lifetime! "

Link who drinking his juice, choked and coughed up loudly hearing Maggie. Amelia who was clearly very offended shouted defensively, " Hey! Not so many times! You are clearly exaggerating."

Maggie counters, " Remeber when we caught you and Owen on Mer's couch! Even the kids saw Owen's penis! " Amelia groaned at that memory and Alex barked in laughter.

" Please don't remind me that. I had to make some lame excuse to Zola who was asking about what her Auntie Amelia was doing without any clothes on. Horrifying experience. Ughh." Link visibly cringes and tries to block his mind from conjuring up the images of Amelia and Owen.

" Yeah. Maggie remember when Amelia was totally naked in my car and changing her clothes because she was so damn late, as usual? "

Hayes and Alex stood up and left, clearly very uncomfortable, " And, we're out." Jo laughed and shook her head before she was paged down to the ER. Link's interest piqued hearing Mer's story and he quirked his eyebrow slyly in Amelia's direction who just shrugged and waved him off.

The sisters and Link resumed their hilarious conversation before Meredith and Maggie had to leave for their respective surgeries. As soon as they departed, Link turned towards Amelia and announced excitedly, " I'm coming to pick you up in my car from now on. EVERY FREAKING DAY. " Link wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and she smacked him in the chest before chuckling. Link frowned and said, " What? I'm serious! ", making her laugh out loud.

" I understand the being late part. But why were you completely naked? And in front of your sisters?!"

Amelia shrugged nonchalantly, like it was no big deal. " I ran inside the car in my robe with nothing underneath..." she noticed Link's eyes darkening with each passing second but tried to ignore the butterflies in her stomach. They just had sex three freaking times in the on-call room and he is making me aroused again!! How?! "...and then I put my jeans and top on."

Link intercepted with mirth in his eyes, " Without the panties, right? " He proceeded to point towards her crotch and continued, " Because she likes to breathe? "

" Damn right, she does! " and then she laughed. Link shook his head and chuckled at her antics. The laughter soon died down and he bent slightly to plant a chaste kiss on her lips. Both of them were grateful and relieved that they could finally act like a happy couple in front of everyone instead of hiding their relationship. Amelia, now panting, smiled up at him after breaking their kiss and gazed in his eyes. Link whispered, " I have a surgery. See you later? " Amelia nodded and he turned to leave but stopped to say one last thing. " Talk to Mededith, Amelia. You'll feel better."

Amelia was amazed at how well Link had come to know her in such a short span of time. She was ever grateful to have him in her life and thanked whatever God was up there for him. She desperately needed to know what Meredith thought of them as a couple.

Later, while walking towards Mer's car in the parking lot, Amelia jogged up to Meredith who was walking a few steps ahead of them. Maggie continued walking a few steps behind, knowing Amelia needed some privacy to talk to Meredith about her relationship with Link.

" Hey, Mer."

" Hi, Amelia." Meredith smiled towards her sister. She knew what Amelia wanted to talk about.

" Sooo...you obviously know about Link and I. Sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I was actually trying to take things slower this time around and not jump head first like I previously did, you know? Sooo...what do you think? ", she knew she was rambling and braced herself.

Meredith chuckled trying to ease her sister's worries. " Don't worry about me, Amelia. I already had a hint that you and Link were a thing! " She waved off Amelia's shocked expression. " I own this hospital, darling. I know things! "

" Fair enough." Amelia shook her head. So all that tension was for nothing?!

Meredith continued. " I'm actually really happy for you. Sorry I couldn't tell you this earlier today. Link is a really great guy. I'm glad you're taking things at your own pace this time. But don't hold back in fear of doing things wrong. Be you and...be happy. You deserve happiness, Amelia. " She smiled kindly at her sister. She was genuinely happy for her. She was glad that she had finally found the right guy for her who would keep her and her needs before everything, unlike her past relationships and keep her grounded. She had the tendency to panic and get restless whereas he was calm in tense situations. She had told them how Link had stood up for her and handled her family in New York. She was highly grateful that he took care of her sister when she desperately needed support. Her sister was finally walking on the right path, relationship wise. If only her other sister could find someone. Clearly Jackson was a very, very wrong choice. She grimaced and shook her head.

Tears were welling up in Amelia's eyes hearing Meredith's words. She was finally so content and happy in her life! She was relieved that Meredith approved of Link. Her sisters were her family. They were all she had! Their opinions obviously mattered the most to her. Overwhelmed with emotion, she pulled Meredith into a tight embrace. Recovering from her initial shock of the rare display of affection from this sister of hers, she tightened her arms around her.

A few steps behind, Maggie had an endearing smile on her face, witnessing the whole scenario. She wiped her eyes, tears leaking with emotion. This was her family! She didn't need any man as long as she had her sisters by her side. They were her strength, her family. She hurriedly rushed towards them and joined in on the hug.

Author's Note :

Heyy guys!!! Did you see the new episodes??!! DEREK!!!!! My heart exploded with all the MerDer and AmeLink scenes. I finally found my inspiration and wrote this in a single night! XD

Sorry for being AWOL but I had lost the will and inspiration to write! Also I was so busy with school work!!

I've made a few changes in the story. Owen and Teddy are still going strong. I don't want their drama here in my story now. Probably later. Also, Alex never left and is still the Chief of Surgery. Cormac Hayes is the Chief of Peds and when Bailey is back from her sabbatical, Alex and Hayes will obviously co-chief. I also included some Mermac in the story because I absolutely love those two!!!! <333

I really hd a lot of fun writing this chapter. Hope y'all like it too!! Please write your suggestions and remarks in the comments! I always appreciate your input! Open for prompts!

Next up some jealous AmeLink fun!! *squeals* Enjoyyy. Until then.

#amelink #amelia-shepherd-fanfic #amelia shepherd #atticus lincoln #chris carmack #caterina scorsone #meredith and cormac #meredith grey #cormac hayes #greys anatomy #maggie pierce #romance #love

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ink-and-flame · 4 years ago

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Kinktober Day 12: Intensity Imposed

Kinktober Day 12 Prompts: Given away to another Dom (temp) ~ Manicures (giving) ~ Lectures for misbehavior Fandom: Original (Auchendale Archives) Tags: exophilia, dom/sub, angst, Pairing: ?(M)/Human(f), Orc(m)/Human(f), Lucien/Lia, Darnok/Lia

[Author’s Note: I have been reading the comments for this series on the blog and on my Ao3 and I appreciate everyone who chooses to comment. Though I feel that the line of commenting requires me to warn a little more heavily that this story is going to get more angsty and a lot darker going forward. Later parts will have quite a few trigger warnings for content. I have this all mapped out and there may be some changes in where events fall, but I just want to put that out there for people that might be sensitive to it.]

The club had hosted events over the last few months, a couple for everyone and one that was meant for the VIP guests only. Darnok and Lia attended them all and found joy in experiencing new scenes, watching others, and learning more about each other. As time passed, they grew closer and the lines began to blur between their dominant and submissive lifestyle, and their vanilla ones.

Darnok had been texting and calling Lia more frequently and had even done so while he was working, something he had never done in the past. While Lia had come close to inviting him over several times, instead she invited him to a work event where she was allowed to bring guests. It was expected that he would decline, but she felt she needed to at least invite him.

It was needless to say that Lia was shocked when he showed up, cutting quite the figure in his custom suit. Her coworkers did not stop asking about him for weeks after that and she had to insist that he was just a close friend as she feared what might happen if she let herself say they were more. She wasn’t comfortable explaining their actual relationship with anyone, but honestly they were feeling more and more like a couple as time passed.

There were still a few instances that had Lia a little suspicious, but nothing that stood out in a way that said she needed to worry. She understood that Danok needed his privacy and she had made peace with that. Something that had taken time, but Lia was still proud of herself when she realized it didn’t bother her as much. She was certain it had to do with the increased amount of time they spent together, and all the new scenes they were doing. It was hard to be bothered by something when she was having the best sex of her life.

Each new scene brought with it a new thrill, and new kinks to discover. Not every one of them worked out, and some of them were absolutely a sometimes thing and not an always thing. Lia was happy she wasn’t the only one finding new kinks to enjoy. Darnok had explored a little as well and found things he liked that he had never thought of before. Lia was still submissive in these scenes, but he had begun to enjoy their role play scenarios more and more with each one they tried.

Lia was waiting at the club in the lounge with Ember. Darnok had warned her he would be late just so she wouldn’t worry too much. Lia had noticed some tension in him the last few weeks or so and figured it was something with work. Especially with him being late, he was never late on their club weekends.

Darnok had been fighting with himself over the decision he was about to make. It could break things with Lia, but it was necessary. He had overstepped in their relationship, had grown too close, too possessive, and he was worried for how it was making him treat his beautiful little sub. Lia deserved everything, the world really, but he was limited in what he could give her. He only wanted what was best for her, what would fulfill her, and he realized that maybe he was holding her back from finding something more.

He could not budge on the restrictions he had placed on their relationship. His vanilla life had to remain separate and as time went on, it became harder and harder to make that separation with Lia. Darnok knew he had feelings for her, how deep those feelings went were still a mystery. There were times he was convinced he had fallen in love with her, but worried that it was infatuation and not actual love. She was different from the women he was used to. She didn’t seem to be attracted to his power or money, but that didn’t mean she was immune to it. He was used to being used by women, but Lia was different from every other woman he had grown close to. It was making him just a little crazy.

Tonight, he worried she wouldn’t understand. That his choice was to hurt, but it wasn’t. He wanted her to experience more than she had so far and there was only one way to do that. Maybe this was selfish, maybe he was pushing her away now before she could hurt him, but he wasn’t trying to push her away completely. He just needed to know the truth. Was it him, or could any dominant bring out her perfection?

Arriving at the club Darnok was happy to see that Lucien was already there and sitting with Lia and Ember. He had to admit, Ember had been a blessing for Lia. Having a friend she could confide in, and draw strength and confidence from was a beautiful thing. Heading over to the crew Darnok sat next to Lia and kissed her hand in greeting. This would not be easy, and he was close to backing out.

“Ah finally, I have been practically vibrating with excitement. I almost blew the whole thing!” Lucien bounced on the couch in the most dignified manner.

Lia laughed and looked at Lucien. “Almost blew what, and you excited is weirdly adorable.”

Lucien made a noise that sounded a bit like a squeak, which was an accomplishment as his voice was quite deep and had a strange echo to it.

Before Darnok could address the situation properly Lucien blurted out the surprise. “Tonight Lia, you are mine!”

Lia’s eyes were wide and she turned slowly to Darnok who looked somewhere between exasperated and displeased.

“Yes, tonight, after months of being badgered, I have agreed to allow Lucien to scene with you tonight. As always, you are not my slave and you can refuse, but it is my hope that you will agree to this.” Darnok’s tone was even, his expression somewhat guarded. He did not want to influence her decision.

Lia frowned looking confused. “Did I do something wrong?”

Darnok shook his head. “Of course not. I thought it would be good for your continued education to experience a different dominant, someone who has different wants and experiences than myself. Lucien has been offering me nothing short of his soul for this opportunity. I felt that this would be the perfect time as we are both expanding our interests.”

Lia glanced at Lucien and could see his barely contained excitement. His eyes were so bright she was convinced they were glowing. Looking back at Darnok, she had to ask. “Are you taking one of his subs in exchange?” This was a hard question to ask, but she had to know.

“No. This is my way of trying not to ruin your weekend by needing to cancel. I am afraid something came up. I have to meet with an orc from another clan. This was sprung on me and while I know a little about Gorvaal, we have never officially met. He insisted it be this weekend, and I could not get out of it.”

It was hard to hide her shock. Lia had never heard Darnok speak of orc clan things, he tended to keep that part of himself private as well. Though Lia wasn’t sure why but maybe it was because she wasn’t an orc and perhaps he felt she wouldn’t understand. This sounded important and she was sad to lose time with him, but understanding overall.

“Darnok, you could have just canceled I would have understood.” She wasn’t trying to insult Lucien, but she wasn’t sure how comfortable with all this she was.

“I am aware, but I felt that at least one of us should have a nice weekend, and Lucien was never going to stop so this seemed like a fun compromise. He knows that if you aren’t comfortable with something, that you wont do it and that he cannot force you. He is safe, I promise Lia, I would never hand you over to someone I did not fully trust.” Darnok smiled and stroked Lia’s cheek. “Also, having Lucien in our debt could be quite lucrative for us. Maybe not island get away lucrative, but still.”

Sitting there looking a bit thoughtful, Lia realized that perhaps this wasn’t the worst thing that could happen. Darnok wasn’t tired of her or angry, he just wanted her to experience something different. The last part about Lucien owing them, well that was interesting. If she was honest she didn’t know Lucien all that well and this could be her opportunity to learn more about him and having him as a friend was never a bad thing.

“Ok, you are right I was being sensitive. This is a good learning opportunity. I hope everything goes well with your meeting.” Lia smiled up at Darnok.

“Perfect.” Darnok leaned in and kissed Lia on the forehead. “I must go, I trust Lucien with my own life, and I am trusting him with yours.”

Darnok stood and headed out. He hoped that they both got what they needed from this evening, though a small part of him hissed little words of worry at him. The seed of jealousy planted, not yet growing, but there ready to sprout if tended to.

Lia turned to Lucien. “I, don’t really know how to begin.”

“Oh don’t worry darling. I already have a room set up for us and my bags are there. We don’t have to start until you are ready. I promise, no matter what you are expecting, it wont be.” His smile was cryptic as he brushed his long hair from his face.

It was probably her imagination, but Lucien’s horns looked larger somehow. His ears more pointed, his skin more textured. He was looking more inhuman the longer she stared and Lia was worried she was imagining things because she was worried. “I know you wont hurt me, we can start, or at least head to the room and begin negotiations.”

Lia waved to Ember and followed Lucien to the room they would be using. She was nervous but also a little excited. She had not really expected anything like this and wasn’t sure what Lucien would have her do. The room had a table, some comfortable chairs, and some other basic furniture. Overall, nothing too extreme in that sense and it helped her relax a bit.

Lucien sat down and waved her over to a chair opposite him and began to place items from a bag on the table. “I know you won’t have any professional experience. I am not looking for that today. This is just soothing to me, don’t judge.”

Confusion filled her as he placed bowls, small jars, brushes, and mixtures she could not immediately identify on the table. Once she saw the nail polish she was even more confused and her confusion showed clearly on her face when she spoke. “What? Um what are we doing?”

“You, dearest, are going to give me a manicure. I like to be pampered by those that serve me. I had considered letting you do my horns, but I thought I would start with something simple. Don’t worry I can provide instruction if you get lost.”

Lia blinked, looking at Lucien suspiciously. “You hounded Darnok for months, and you want me to do your nails?”

The smile on Lucien's face unnerved Lia a bit. There was something deeply unsettling about that smile and she felt somewhat like prey that has gotten a little too comfortable with a predator.

“For now, that is all I am asking of you.” Moving his hands on the table he gestured to the bowls. “First you will need to put some water in and mix a little of the contents of these jars and I can soak my hands first.”

Lia nodded, following the instructions. She was still suspicious but this seemed easy by comparison to anything else that had ever been asked of her. His hands felt interesting and she found herself stroking over his skin, and marveling at his long dark nails which looked suspiciously like claws to her.

“You love him.”

Head lifting up quickly Lia looked at Lucian with wide eyes. “What?”

“You love him, you love him so much it hurts you. I can see it, sense it, smell it on you. He is more than just a dominant to you. You love him and you want to be with him.”

Swallowing hard Lia looked down and focused on the hands in front of her. She could lie, say he was mistaken, but she felt that he would point out that lie and she did not want to risk angering him. “Why does it matter?”

“I could ask you any number of similar questions, but the truth is you love him.”

“If I do?” Lia was curious now, what Lucien wanted from all this.

“I like you.” Lucien was smiling, this one more gentle. “I worry for you little mortal.”

Lia stared hard at him, questions on the tip of her tongue she feared asking outright. “You like me? So you are hoping to entice me away?”

Lucien laughed his eyes sparkling. “I doubt that I could. Such is the way of mortal love. Once a heart is as set as yours, swaying it takes more than one of my kind would usually bother with. Though the reward would be worth the pain, I assure you, but no, that is not my goal.”

It was hard not to be suspicious of him and now Lia had to wonder just what Lucien really was. “So if you aren’t trying to steal me away, why are we here talking about my feelings?”

“I told you. I am worried. You are holding it inside yourself. I can see that you are in pain, that you are taking risks. You let him guide your wants and desires but do you do it because you want it, or because you hope if you impress him enough that you will earn what you want most from him?”

Lia winced, a twinge of pain twisting through her as she dried his hands and began to clean away the dead skin, rubbing a nice lotion in at his request, and starting to shape his now somewhat softened claws. Though if she was honest, she was sure they weren’t actually softer it was just her mind telling her that was how it had to be.

Lucien had hit on something tender and fragile inside of her. It was a question she had asked herself many times and it was one she had yet to answer. She wanted to believe she did it for herself, but there was a nagging voice that told her she also wanted to impress Darnok. Lucien was not far from the truth, but it wasn’t a simple either or situation.

“You seem to know everything, you tell me.” It wasn’t the nicest answer and Lia expected a reprimand.

“I wouldn’t say everything, but I know more than most. I see what mortals cannot or will not, and I read people better than they know themselves. Your anger is misplaced. I am not the one you should lash out at.”

“Then who?”

“Well now, isn’t that the question of the day? Learning to ask the right questions is the first step to further opening your mind, and that is really all I want from this session today.” Lucien pointed to the colors he wanted and picked up his phone to show her the design he was after. “I hope it isn’t too complicated?”

“No, I can manage that. I do my own nails sometimes, never anything like this though.” Lia used the distraction of the manicure to think for a bit.

What did Lucien actually mean about asking the right questions. Why couldn’t he just tell her and not be cryptic. It was frustrating, but entirely Lucien. She honestly wasn’t surprised that he was turning out to be some cryptic elder creature or some such. She was still torn between dragon and demon, though he could be something else entirely as well.

“These are nice colors. I think they will look striking on you.” Lia made conversation, not really knowing where to go from her.

Her heart sank as she thought of reasons why Lucien would choose this topic, of everything else they could talk about. What if that orc meeting was an arranged marriage. That was a horrible thought and Lia had to physically shake her head to banish that thought and looked up at Lucien with a blush.

“You make it seem like we are going to do scenes together again.”

“Well I certainly hope we do. I know that you will never see me the way you see him, and that I cannot give you your heart's desire, but I can give you other things. It would please me if you would consider, when Darnok is not available, that I be a substitute for loneliness?”

Lia found that there was something in his eyes that seemed genuine enough that she wasn’t ready to outright say no. “Does Darnok know?”

“About the topic of our discussion? Or that I want to spend more time with you?”

“Both.” Lia was pleased with the base coat and the first coat of the polish. She was happy it was gel polish, not wanting to wait for standard enamel to dry before applying another coat.

“No, and yes.” Lucien answered in order. “He doesn’t know the content of what types of scenes I wanted with you, just that I did. He also has no idea how deep your feelings are, but I think a part of him senses it. He isn’t completely oblivious, only mostly so.” Lucien chuckled and winked at Lia.

She laughed, it felt wrong but she laughed. “Well, he has a lot on his plate. It must be hard being whoever he is and doing whatever it is he does. I get the struggle, keeping your vanilla life and this life completely separate. It has to be harder when you have more of a life to deal with.”

Lucien regarded Lia for a long moment as she painted over his nails with another coat of color. “How much do you know about Darnok? His personal and professional life outside of this I mean?”

“Next to nothing. He is clearly rich and powerful. That much has been made clear multiple times. I try not to let it make me uncomfortable, but sometimes I feel I don’t know who he is at all, but then I know that I know the most private parts of him, so maybe I know him better than the other people in his life. It is hard to really say.”

“I see.” Lucien grew quiet for a moment. “So you have no idea, at all, who he is?”

This made Lia look at Lucien with narrowed suspicious eyes. “I know he is Darnok, that is what I know. What do you mean who he is?”

For the first time since Lia had met him, Lucien looked decidedly uncomfortable. It was strange, it looked wrong on him somehow and that made her nervous.

“He is Darnok, as you said.” Lucien cleared his throat and fought to tap his nails, not wanting to ruin her concentration.

“Ok, well, clearly you know more than me and I know if I ask you will either give me half truths or nothing. So is there a reason you brought it up?”

“Darnok is a dear friend, and who he is has been a problem in the past. You love him, despite not really knowing and that makes it even more beautiful to me. You truly do not care about his money, his power, any of it, do you?”

“No Lucien, I don’t. I care about him. I want him, and I don’t know if the problem here is me or him.”

“It’s him. It is always him. You are a blessing. A sweet mortal with a good and kind heart. Darnok, on the other hand, is emotionally constipated. You have a lot of work ahead of you if you want to pursue this.”

“I feel like this is more of a lecture than a conversation.”

“It wasn’t intended to be, but I can lecture you if that is what you are into?”

Lia laughed and shook her head, carefully painting the design on his nails. It wasn’t perfect, but she suspected he didn’t need it to be.

“Maybe later, who knows, maybe I am into it.”

Lucien regarded Lia for a moment. “You are lovely and kind, if I asked for more than this, would you?”

“I guess it depends on what you actually want. There are lines I am not sure I am ready to cross and I am still learning my limits. I don’t know you as well as I know him, my own nerves could be a problem.”

“I can be gentle, when I choose to be and when it is desired.”

“I would hate to mess up your manicure.” Lia teased with a smile.

“If it got messed up I would just have to have you do it again, but I understand. Not tonight?”

Looking thoughtful Lia considered their conversation. Darnok didn’t know what they were going to do, and had still handed her over. Lucien knew how Lia felt and wasn’t seeking an emotional connection. Perhaps this could work out for her and help her release some of that frustration.

“Ok, well I mean we do have this room for a while. What did you have in mind?”

Lucien’s eyes glowed. His smile brightened his face as he grasped her hands letting his thumbs brush over the backs of them. “Oh lovely little Lia. All I ask of you is simple.” Lucien paused letting go of her hands and standing up.

Coming around the table he picked her up easily and carried her over to the bed on the other side of the room laying her down and looming over her.

“Let me worship you.”

#exophilia #human/monster #intensify series #Auchendale Archives #Kinktober 2020

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ottostherapy · 5 years ago

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Forbidden love

Pansy Parkinson x Slytherin!Reader

summary: 5.th year Slytherin dormroom conversation between Pansy, Daphne and the Reader lead to a weird role-play in the halls until the fellow Slytherins bring firewhiskey. A truth and a dare later Pansy and the Reader find themselves in an awkward position.

Word count: 3368

a/n: Okay. I have been inactive for a few years now, I know. I thought I had deleted this account to be honest, I reckon I haven’t. I am completely obsessed with the Wizarding World at the moment and I had this funny idea about writing a Pansy Parkinson fanfic/imagine (because I only found a few asking auntie google).

„Okay now. Y/N, your turn.” Pansy Parkinson was stretched on her sheets, prone with her head supported by her hands, legs dangling in the air, her feet furiously paddling forth and back. “Let’s go with Vincent Crabbe, Marcus Flint and …”, she frowned.

“Percy Weasley!” Daphne Greengrass, currently right next to me, tugged comfortably under my blankets, feet intertwined, exclaimed, chuckling.

I rolled my eyes. My best friends shot each other a glance, holding in laughter. They, of course, knew all too well I didn’t approve of their choices.

“I’ll most definitely kill Marcus, have you guys ever looked at him?” I shivered. “I might marry Percy of all of them, after all, he was headboy a few years ago and he seems to be quite … decent.” I puckered my lips.

Pansy in her own bed, like the princess she was, snorted. “You’d have to deal with a dozen of the other red-headed Weasleys then!”

“Still better than Vince to be blunt. Imagine having to follow him following Draco all day long.” I snapped the chocolate frog out of Daphne’s hand and beheaded it. She pouted.

“Oh my, my. Wouldn’t that be perfect, Y/N? Maybe you could start a steamy love affair.” Pansy grinned turning to her side. Her hand now ruffled in her dark hair, with that sly smile plastered to her lips, raised an eyebrow at me. Her black pyjama had given in to gravity, entwining around her waist.

“Isn’t he reserved for you, Pans?” I said, trying to swallow the bitter tone, that had settled on the back of my tongue.

“Would you stop talking about Draco?” Daphne shoved the last piece of chocolate into her mouth. “I perfonnally fink he if no-boyfriend material”, she licked the tips of her fingers, “and both of you know that!” Daphne had never been fond of Draco, even though we technically were friends. To some degree at least.

“I don’t even want to be more then whatever we are right now”, I crossed my arms over my torso, expecting Pansy to repeat after me, however she didn’t.

She just shrugged. “I don’t really mind. He has a cute side to him, don’t you think?”

I silently exchanged disgusted look with Daphne.

“No, Pansy. I tend to not think about him ever too often … Actually I tend to not think at all, I heard it endangers my stupidity, so I’m limiting that, maybe you should try it out as well.” It would definitely do her better than frequently thinking about the blonde boy.

“Well Y/N, I am certainly not surprised, I always knew there was something intriguing about you … I just never came around to figure out what it was.” Pansy shot me a smirk and her eyebrow popped again. This girl, Merlin!

“Oh, and I always thought it was my astonishing looks.” I snickered.

“No.” If I didn’t know better, I’d interpret Pansy’s rose cheeks for a blush maybe, for a flirtatious side-effect even, but I knew better. “I admire your boldness however, Miss Y/L/N. Maybe you have been sorted into the wrong house.” She sat up, hovered her bare feet over the stone floor. “We could be living a forbidden romance, imagine.” To my luck she turned the lights off, tapping off to the bathroom.

I, however, felt my cheeks burning, felt flustered, felt excited. How was Pansy so dreadfully playful with people around her. I knew not to dwell on the feeling she had me at right now, she was princess charming, not only with me. Sometimes I felt as though she needed to push every door open, to have any possibility and I wasn’t sure if it was a compulsive behaviour or if she just had fun doing it.

I snapped out of my thoughts when a warm finger brushed against mine. “Don’t you worry about it.” Daphne whispered. “She’ll realise eventually.” The blonde girl wrapped her arms around me and I sighted.

“How did you know?” I had always been careful to tell secrets, but this one, I hadn’t intended for anyone to find out. Not even Daphne after all.

“Come on, Y/N! I’ve known you for 13 years, don’t you think I can read your emotions by now?” Well, I certainly couldn’t read hers …

As the next morning rose, I was still caught up in the events, that happened last night. My gaze was dancing out of the window – the dim morning sky painted clouds all over the horizon – over to Pansy Parkinson. She was in a deep slumber, her face relaxed, even though her eyelids twitched from time to time.

I remembered her lips touching my forehead ever so slightly in the dark room. “We could be an adventure, darling!” She had whispered before turning to go to sleep herself.

Daphne had snuck her arm around my waist, pulling me close to her body. I knew she just wanted to help, but her embrace had made me feel even worse. I longed for the other girls’ touch, for her body to warm me up, for her to give me comfort. But there was no way Pansy would ever be mine.

I exhaled heavily before getting off to the bathroom. At least this way none of us had to fight for the sink and toilet.

As I was almost done, the door opened and in walked a very sleepy Pansy. She rubbed her Puppy eyes, blinking at me.

“Love”, she whispered. “I didn’t expect you here this early in the morning.” She walked over to me. “How did you get in?”

I gave her a look of confusion. “Are you alright, Pansy?” I handed her her green toothbrush.

“Hush, love.” Her eyes widened. “No one has to know.” She breathed, preparing her toothbrush, stuck it into her mouth. “Don’t shoo remember? Our forbibben love!” She found a loose strand of Y/H/C hair to tuck behind my ear. Her delicate hand brushed against my skin, leaving a tray of tickles. What was happening?

For a moment we stood in front of each other, eying the other girl up and down. Pansy, even with the toothbrush in her mouth, with messy hair, in a wrinkled pyjama made my heart beat faster. Made butterflies whirr around my stomach, made my breath hitch.

She gave me a sleek smile. Could she possibly know?

“Eh, Y/L/N! Cut my ingredients for me?” Pansy pointed to the flobberworm in front of her.

“What is she up to?” I mouthed to Daphne.

She shrugged, but gave me a light push.

“Why should I cut your flobblewobble, Pans?” I felt weirdly intrigued.

“Because I want you to.” She snorted. “You don’t want to get on Snape’s bad side, do you?”

“Pansy, I am not a Gryffindor.” I laughed, even though her determined role-play turned me on. Just a tad bit.

“There’s no denying it, Y/L/N” Pansy crept behind me and pushed her arms to the desk on either side of my body. “Do as you’re told”, she commanded, her voice cold and stern, but she added a muffled “Love” right into my ear.

I felt my knees weaken and decided it would probably be best to obey.

And so I found myself between Pansy’s arms over and over again with her head over my shoulder, watching closely. It went thus far, that Snape gave her a detention for distracting me. She just snickered and I could swear to have heard her say “worth it” as I walked back to Daphne.

The weeks flew by quickly, while the new self-proclaimed head-mistress professor Umbride prohibited almost everything, Pansy still found ways to get me all flustered.

She would place her hand on my thigh when sitting next to each other, pulled me in by my waist to mutter words like “love” or “darling” to me. She made the good-night kisses to my forehead a tradition and sometimes she would come so close to me, I felt her heart race in her chest.

I had realised by now that the feeling was mutual, I wasn’t stupid after all, but I enjoyed being the centre of her undivided attention. If it were up to me, you’d keep up that game she was playing. Granted I liked being her toy, I liked, that she had to know I went mad for everything she did to me, for every feeling, for every little touch.

One day I found myself in the Slytherin common room, accompanied by a large group of my friends. I sat next to Daphne at the large table, attempting to ignore my yelling classmates to write an essay for the transfiguration class. Next to Daphne sat her younger sister Astoria, snickering with two other girls of her year.

Right by the fireside, plopped onto one of the couches, lay Pansy. Her head was nestled in Dracos lap, her knees were bent over the armrest. She had her eyes on me, watching my every move.

I tried to blend it out as best as I could, but my thoughts came back to her piercing brown eyes. My ears were pointed towards their conversation, anticipating Pansy to make a move.

“Honestly, I cannot believe the ministry is that stupid.” Blaise Zabini, a tall boy from my year and a dear friend, sneered.

He was sat opposite to the fire place in an emerald, velvety armchair. All I was able to see from my place was his shaved black hair, but I was certain, he was holding the Daily Prophet, since he was invested in politics.

“They were stupid enough to not lock our parents up in Azkaban.” Draco grimaced. “This has been long overdue.”

Pansy shot up. “Draco, you don’t really think You-know-who will make things better”, she glared at him.

He shrugged. “At least the mudbloods would vanish.”

“Yes, they would, and our backbone as well.” She jumped to her feet. “Just because your parents are his pets, doesn’t mean he treats all his followers with mercy!” Angrily she paced around the small table in the middle of the sofas. “I heard him using the Cruciatus Curse on my mother in the summer, because he perceived my parents disloyal.”

You jumped as she kicked the table. Hesitantly you stood up from your chair.

“I am scared, Draco.” She continued then with a thrilling tone. “And you should be, too!” She allowed herself to fall back to her previous place, however she didn’t consider flopping back to his lap. Instead she waved me over imperiously.

I had my eyes plastered to the ground as I sat down between her and Draco. I felt grateful for my parents not being Death Eaters, I felt grateful I didn’t wake up at nights shivering, I didn’t have to shriek in my slumber, but I felt anxious as well. Unlike many other students, I had no point in denying the dark lord was back, for all your fellow students said.

“I have to admit”, Blaise raised his voice after what felt like an eternity of silence, “I am equally averse.” He pondered, folding the paper in his hand. “I just don’t think we’re standing a chance with these idiots making decisions.”

I felt Pansy’s head resting on my shoulder and a shiver ran down my spine.

Draco on my other side uttered profanities. He knew they were right, but he enjoyed being important. He enjoyed it over the cost it took.

“I hate this.” He groaned, bending forward to hide his face in his hands. Maybe Pansy was right, he could be cute sometimes. When he forgot that he actually was a git.

Nobody dared to object. We just sat for a while, a mutual silence wavering over our heads. Even Astoria and her gang had muted their voices. I wanted to shoot a glance to Daphne, but I didn’t dare breaking the moment.

If the Dark Lord was to recruit my friends, what would I do? Stand my ground? Follow them? Maybe I would just pretend to be too stupid to become one of them. Would he kill me, if he thought I was merely a squib? Or would I have the chance to just stay in the background? I didn’t ever want to find out.

The four of us were jolted out of our thoughts by the lovely “Hello, fuckers!” Millicent Bulstrode threw at us as she entered the common room. She was followed by Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, who were only ever called by their surnames.

“You will not believe what we managed to sneak in here!” Triumphantly she looked over all of our faces. Crabbe and Goyle grinned stupidly.

Bulstrode shooed Daphne over to where we sat, so our year was almost fully assembled around the small table.

“What is it you have?” Pansy asked, slightly annoyed. She wrapped her hands around my waist, pulling me tighter. She hid her face into the fabric of my grey sweater.

“Firewhiskey!” Bulstrode grinned, taking the brown bottle out of her robe.

“Where’d you get that?” Draco snapped.

“Filch’s office. He had confiscated it from some stupid seventh year Gryffindors, so we confiscated it from him. The pink monster wouldn’t want to find her favourite man drinking, would she?” Bulstrode grunted.

She was a big girl with a big attitude. She stomped over anything in her way and I was lucky enough to have only been once a thorn in her side.

“Well, I am down.” Blaise said. He looked exhausted.

“Yeah, Bullstrode!” Pansy cheered. “That actually is exactly what I need right now.”

“Don’t you think she is going to find out?” Daphne carefully opposed.

Crabbe shook his head. “No one would suspect us, Daphne. We are good students, we behave. She will probably accuse the Weasleys.”

Daphne tilted her head. “Fair point. Let’s play a game then!”

“Truth or Dare!” Pansy decided quickly. Her spirit awakening again. Her head left my shoulder, her hands drawing back to her own body.

I pouted visibly and she gave me a laugh. “Imagine what this game has to offer, love”, she breathed into my ear.

“Okay, I go first!” Goyle exclaimed. He looked challengingly at Bulstrode.

The girl rolled her eyes at him “Dare.” And so she came back 2 minutes later, spilling her entire gathering of sweets to the ground and took a sip, just for the fun. Thus, every one took a sip for fun.

I could feel the alcohol burn its way down my throat. The first few rounds we repeated the procedure, finding out Crabbe had a crush on Hannah Abbott, Blaise had once skinny dipped with Theodore Nott and Daphne certainly did not enjoy giving Draco a lap dance. He didn’t either.

I felt my cheeks burn as my best friend returned to the opposite sofa, crimson-headed. Bulstrode and Goyle laughed malicious laughs at her, handing the bottle over to Pansy.

She took a long sip and handed the bottle over to me. Her cheeks were as red as I imagined mine to be, plus I already felt a tad light-headed, so I passed, handing Draco the bottle. His pale skin had turned a little green, or was that the light? I couldn’t tell.

He as well took a long sip and gulped down the burning liquid. “Dare.” He said, putting the bottle to the middle of the table.

It was Daphne’s turn to set him a task, but she seemed to have lost her voice to her performance, so I quickly chimed in: “I dare you to kiss the cutest person in this room!” Only after I had said my words, I realised he would most likely turn to Pansy for that. Ouch. Why so stupid?

“Out of our round or out of this room?” Blaise enquired. Eyeing to the table where Astoria and her friends were still chatting.

“Room is what I said.” I repeated, hoping Blaise knew something I didn’t.

Draco shook his head. “Can I just drink?” He hissed.

“Nuh-uh.” Pansy had a devilish grin on her face. “You either do the dare or you have to take an article of clothing off … Along with the alcohol, of course.”

Considering the fact, he was only wearing his white shirt, and black school trousers the undressing would be interesting.

Draco glared at Pansy. “I know whom I had to kiss if Y/N had said the most obnoxious person.” He rose from the sofa and walked around the black piece of furniture. He stopped behind Pansy, bowing down to her. His face had changed from green to a light pink.

My fingernails dug into the soft skin of my palms. Of course he was going to kiss Pansy, why didn’t I think beforehand?

Draco’s face came closer to Pansy’s, who had laid her head to her neck. She didn’t even seem to mind.

Right as Draco was to connect their lips, he grimaced. “Ew.” He pulled away.

“You still need to do the dare”, Pansy snickered. Arrogant, as she was, her arm lurked around my shoulder, pulling me into her chest. “You wouldn’t think I’d kiss Draco before you, love, now would you?” I stiffened. Would she? I couldn’t tell. After all this was just a game.

Pansy placed a kiss to my nose, chuckling at me.

While she tried to cuddle me up, Draco walked over to the table. I was sure he had never been so insecure in his whole life. Attentively he tapped her shoulder. We watched as they exchanged a few words.

Suddenly Daphne stood behind him, fuming. “You are not kissing my little sister!” She dragged him back to our table by his wrist. Much to the displeasure of Astoria, who looked after him in her sisters grip dreamily.

Draco and Daphne both seemed relieved as they sat down.

“Pansy. Truth or dare?” Draco immediately shot at the brown-haired girl.

She smirked “Truth.” She fluttered her eyelashes.

“Tell us what you dreamt last night”, Draco demanded.

Pansy turned bright red. I turned my face to look her in the eyes, but she avoided mine. Carefully she opened the buttons to her white blouse.

I gasped. What had she dreamt that she would rather take off her shirt than tell us? Also why did Draco know? Why had she told him about it and not me?

Dracos eyes had a devilish shine. “Well I guess since Pansy couldn’t speak the truth, I can challenge another person.”

No one disagreed, Pansy shivered.

She was wearing a black bra, her skin was patchy, whether it was the alcohol or her embarrassment, she tried to hide it. Her arms crossed in front of her bust.

“Goyle has not been truth or dared yet”, Goyle said, but Draco shook his head.

“I was thinking about Y/N.” I snapped. What was he planning?

“Y/N/N, what do you think?” Draco wrapped his arm around me, pulling me to his side.

What had I, everyone wanted to hug me so badly?

“Dare.” I shoved Dracos arm away.

“That’s what I was hoping for.” He stood up. “I think we are all ready for a snogging session between you and Pansy, five minutes at least and make it entertaining.” He squeezed in between Daphne and Goyle.

“Erm.” I looked over to Pansy. She snorted.

“Really Malfoy?”, she spat. “You do us a favour?”

Draco shrugged. “You’re getting on my nerves. She’s all you’re ever talking about.”

Now was my turn to blush. I was all Pansy ever talked about?

I scooped over, sudden courage flooding my veins.

She took my face into her hands, her soft hands, and smiled shyly at me before I closed the gap between our lips.

I could taste the firewhisky on her lips. I closed my eyes. My heart throbbed against her bare chest and I couldn’t stop my hands from touching her.

She was left with goosebumps under my fingertips. I stroke over her waist to which I earned a whimper from her lips. She arched her back to the direction of my body.

It was funny seeing how she had been so demanding and dominant in the last weeks, but was now melting to my every touch. Oh how she was crazy for me, too.

#pansy parkinson #hp #harry potter #wizarding world #pansy parkinson imagine #pansy parkinson x reader #pansy parkinson fanfic #pansy parkisnon fanfiction #daphne greengrass #draco malfoy #blaise zabini #pansy parkinson oneshot

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marysfoxmask · 4 years ago

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“the secret garden” (2020) review

(warning: spoilers!)

just watched the latest adaptation again! i wanted to see it a second time to really get my thoughts and feelings together. and, while i think it was a good effort, ultimately i was disappointed. my instincts when i first saw the trailer were more or less correct—really vibrant, flashy visuals ultimately subtract from the low-key nature of the book. when adapting a story about realizing the magic in mundanity, realizing the magic inherent to the turning of the seasons and the growing of plants that we usually take for granted, it’s monumentally better to prioritize realism over fantasy.

mary’s character was served the best by the new film, though sadly that isn’t saying too much. while i understood that this mary would be different from her book counterpart, i definitely felt the original’s absence more than i would have liked. the mary of this film is just too well-adjusted, to the point where her arc is less about a spiritually stunted, completely neglected child becoming healthy and whole through the power of nature and socialization (as it is in the novel) and more about a vaguely troubled child apologizing to the specter of her late mother for feeling badly about being neglected, which is essentially the opposite of what burnett was getting at.

was anyone pining for a mrs. lennox redemption story? the same woman who, as per the book, never wanted a child and only cared about going to parties? i’ll forever be baffled by people being more invested in the adults and their ponderous backstories rather than the emotional development of the child protagonists; this film seems a lot more interested in the impact of the deaths of mary and colin’s mothers, to a bizarre degree. “grace” craven (really? was “lilias” not good enough?) and her sister (this and the 1993 film both depart from the book, where mary’s father is related to lilias, in favor of making mrs. lennox and mrs. craven twins—a decision i’m confused by in terms of thematic relevance on both accounts) are never characterized more than being essentially the angels of misselthwaite. they float by, laughing gaily, dressed in white, at points during the film. they are bittersweet representations of the idealized past and, at one point, guardians of their loved ones left behind.

i’ve never enjoyed the romanticization of lilias craven in any adaptation. mary calls the fairytale trope of beautiful princesses falling asleep in a garden for a hundred years stupid in the novel; and what is lilias but a princess eternally sleeping in her beloved garden? she’s beautiful and innocent and good and thoroughly uninteresting. she’s the angel of the house, embarrassingly dated compared to her imperfect, misfit niece, who is coming awake and growing healthy while lilias is frozen in amber, a beautiful idealized figure even in death. the interest in her in this film, the broadway musical—and even the 1993 movie, to an extent—seems to completely contradict the point of the novel, fetishizing the past and resisting lending enough focus to the events of the present. mary is a spunky, interesting, flawed heroine who doesn’t need to share the spotlight with any angels of the manor; the story of the secret garden is one about healing from trauma, not wallowing in it.

that isn’t even touching on the decision to have mrs. lennox be an apparently good person brought low by depression following her beloved twin’s death. i find this adaptive choice to be positively loathsome. mrs. lennox, as a character, is a bad mother and a silly, foolish person, point blank, period. she hands baby mary off to an ayah the moment she’s born, keeps her isolated and locked up, and insists that the ayah keep mary quiet lest “the mem sahib” become angry. when given the chance of evacuating due to the cholera epidemic raging, she instead stays in order to go to a party. she’s a frivolous character whose superficial prioritization of amusement leads directly to her death. she doesn’t need a sympathetic reason to be neglectful to mary; she doesn’t need to be sympathetic at all. the decision to make that a priority in this latest adaptation hurts mary’s character. when she tells her uncle that it was too hot to play in india (a sentiment taken directly from the novel), it doesn’t ring true—in the multiple flashbacks to india, mary plays a lot with her loving father (her ayah, while mentioned, is rarely seen; what we see of india is populated entirely by privileged whites), and is shown to enjoy herself tremendously until she glimpses her mother wilting sadly on a cushion or something. it undermines what little development mary has in the film.

the prioritization of mary and colin's mothers in general make the film feel weirdly overstuffed while giving little weight/emphasis to the events present in the source material. how many lines did major secondary characters like dickon or martha have, for example, compared to all the waffling mary and colin do about whether or not their mothers loved them and whether mary really killed her mother or not they, at the end of the day, really knew their parents, et cetera, et cetera? it’s a frustratingly shallow addition to the original story, devoid of thematic relevance.

speaking of shallow additions…

hector, a stray dog, assumes the role of the book’s robin (bizarre, considering the robin is also present), being the friendly animal character that leads mary to the secret garden. i’m not sure why the decision to add hector was made; he’s also the catalyst for mary leading dickon to the garden, while she needed no such thing in the book. did marc munden feel kids wouldn’t sympathize so readily with mary befriending a bird, despite the success of all the other adaptations saying otherwise? hector gets a lot of attention in the film, which is frustrating, because so much of the movie is filled with strange original additions that say little.

despite the clear talent of the actors and the vividness of the visuals, the changes to the story are devoid of purpose. the time period, for instance—why 1947? why have mary’s orphaning take place during the partition of india when her parents die of cholera anyway? why make martha and dickon black when the script pussyfoots around it, refusing to interact with that aspect of their characters in the same way burnett directly (if somewhat tactlessly) interacts with their poverty? save for vague, implicatory dialogue, like the threat of having poor dickon whipped if he’s sighted in misselthwaite by mrs. medlock, the racism of the time period isn’t featured at all. martha is stripped of any characterization at all, her cheerfulness diluted to the point of being nonexistent once mary gets a bit snappy. perhaps the decision to mute martha’s characterization was made out of fear of the implications of a black maid being cheerfully nurturing to a white girl despite her cruelty (invoking the mammy stereotype)—but if so, why make the decision to change martha’s race at all?

the structure of the film is odd, too. mary meets colin early on (in the book, mary explicitly states that she’d hate the imperious and bratty colin if she hadn’t met kindly martha or dickon first) and doesn’t meet dickon until halfway through. why? it directly contradicts the novel for no particular reason; it doesn’t help that dickon is so underused that he’s virtually a non-entity, his three whole canonical character traits (poor! happy! in tune with nature!) watered down to nothing. In this film, dickon isn’t particularly happy (he’s just as solemn and damaged as the other two kids, though in a more subdued way, as his father has died in the war—it’s frustrating that his rich white peers get to air their mommy issues at length while poor dickon’s grief is only glanced at) and his skill with animals is only vaguely alluded to. his skill with plants, negated by the apparent flourishing of the secret garden even when no one’s looking after it, is only brought up when, in one scene taking place in the garden, colin asks dickon what certain plants are.

it’s also frustrating that dickon, the only poor and nonwhite character in the trio, is the only one doing only actual gardening work while his friends sit around and talk about their trauma. the whole time, i wanted to urge mary to stop indulging in her overactive imagination for once and pull some weeds or something. putting in the work to make her secret garden flourish is an important part of her growth in the book, but that’s entirely absent here in favor of the occasional frolic. dickon even eventually whittles colin a cane he uses to eventually stumble into his father’s arms. this gesture should be touching and evident of the strength of the boys’ (offscreen) bond but instead is only another example of dickon selflessly and thoughtlessly serving his betters, making the classist implications of burnett’s original story more obviously troubling by adding race into the mix. it’s also bizarre that mary can cartwheel but dickon can’t, given how physically adept he was in the book. poor dickon is sapped of all his accomplishments, it seems. his character is completely glossed over, though i do like his feistiness in his meeting with mary, with him coming out of the mist and sharply remarking that martha loves him much more than she likes her. even more sadly, unlike his ‘93 counterpart, he doesn’t even get to eat a worm.

mrs. medlock is one-notedly antagonistic, being hard-nosed and strict and disapproving of mary’s wild ways—which is also disappointing. she’s not outright villainous, but she’s denied the shades of sympathy allowed her by the original novel, where she was a straightforward, unsentimental woman working a thankless job trying to satisfy and care for a tyrannical little hypochondriac. she’s also probably the closest thing we have in the movie to a xenophobe/racist, frequently making coded comments about the primitive and savage nature of the english colonies in india where mary grew up, but that’s only ever hinted at without being called out by mary or anyone else. there’s also an odd moment at the beginning of the film where mrs. medlock states the book-accurate sentiment that nothing lives on the moor but wild ponies and sheep, yet mary sees in the mist multiple shadowy figures with what i think are wheelbarrows and gardening tools (it’s a bit hard to tell with all the mist). this probably is meant to clue mary in to medlock’s classism, foreshadowing that mary will be given insight to the outdoors and different people in a way medlock could never be, changing her views of the class hierarchy she’s been inundated by—i’m not sure what else can be gleaned by the contradiction of medlock’s words and what mary sees but that—but nothing is done with it. we never see anyone on the moor but dickon throughout the rest of the movie. it’s another missed opportunity. maybe it’s meant to set up that there are poachers on the moor who set traps, like the one hector is hurt by? after seeing the movie twice, i’m still not sure what the purpose of that imagery was.

there are parts of the film i enjoyed! all the children do wonderfully in their roles (amir wilson does well with what frustratingly little he has), and i enjoyed this film’s characterization of colin as somewhat stiff, with a practiced, affected way of speaking that subtly indicates that he’s spent more time with books than with people. it makes a nice contrast to mary’s plainspokenness as a (relatively classless) orphan and dickon’s “rough” (lower-class) yorkshire accent, showing off his education and status as an upper-class boy.

the scene just before mary shows colin the tree his mother died beneath, when colin asks dickon about the names of flowers, is very sweet and book-accurate; i especially appreciate the nod to the kids’ book mastery of yorkshire, with colin mimicking dickon’s speech and noting that the names of the flowers sound better in his accent.

i also loved him calling dickon handsome. it is socially awkward? yes. does it make sense for colin to be socially awkward? also yes. and it’s adorable and book-accurate, in my opinion; if dickon weren’t so homely in the book, i imagine colin would call him handsome there, too. and mary proudly stating that dickon can whistle, as well, is lovely.

similarly, mary and dickon teaching colin to swim is very sweet—while i found most of the garden’s cgi magic wholly dispensable, i did enjoy the plants shivering along with colin. that sort of playfulness felt very attuned to the innocence of the book.

edan hayhurst does a wonderful job playing colin haughty and upset and an equally lovely job playing colin giddy and happy—if only he’d been allowed to really show off his screaming in a proper adaptation of his hysterics, instead of the pale imitation we got in the film!

it’s funny to note how much these kids get enjoyment out of pretending to be dogs. mary barks at hector when she first makes friends with him, pretends to be a yorkshire terrier with dickon when hector gets well in the garden, all the kids start barking when playing together, mary recites in a letter that colin pretended to be a dog all day...these kids sure love to bark. it’s not a bad thing, necessarily, just funny. why the dog obsession, marc munden? though i like the idea of them pretending to be animals (the masks they wear at one point are lovely), dogs feel a very typical choice. still, i can’t help but get enjoyment out of the kids playing together, though these moments are sadly brief.

i also really enjoyed all of mary’s outfits. they were adorable. if only we could have gotten more interactions between the children! part of the beauty of the second half of the novel is just watching the kids be kids in the garden; we rarely get that in all of the adaptations, of course, but in this one i was particularly sorrowful, given all the new directions the story went and how none of them directly impacted the children’s friendship with each other. there wasn’t even the mild jealousy colin has over mary spending more time with dickon than she is with him, which is present in most of the films. it’s a real shame; colin doesn’t even know dickon exists until he meets him, in a hurried scene that doesn’t remotely convey the sweetness of their meeting in the novel. the movie flits over all the book’s little idyllic joys in favor of its own original drama (which is not nearly as compelling as the movie thinks it is).

i did also enjoy the ending scene, with the kids swimming together, and mary attempting to tell a story with colin and dickon interrupting. it’s nice to see an ending to this story that doesn’t follow the book, which forgets mary and dickon in favor of colin. i think ending with the kids playing happy and whole in the garden is much more representative of the book’s charms. and the scene where mary and dickon first enter misselthwaite and are giving all-clear signs to one another as they go is fun, too.

i also enjoyed the set design, including all the green present in misselthwaite’s decor. i loved the high ceilings and the bareness of mary’s bedroom. poor colin still didn’t have any proper pajamas, reduced to wearing a white tank top for some reason, though i liked his goofy little hat that he wears when going outdoors. i wish we got to spend more time in colin’s room, and i wish the color saturation had been toned down a little just so we could get a better look at everything. all the insistent gloomy blues felt a bit overbearing.

i love the opening credits, though, and “the secret garden” slowly appearing in the title screen. the music and the soft green of the trees against the words really conjure up the novel’s near-pagan melancholy and mystery.

the less said about the third act climax of misselthwaite burning down, the better. it’s unneeded and resolves a film-only subplot about mary’s mother that didn’t need to be there in the first place. i think it also unfairly paints misselthwaite as a cursed, doomed place that can only benefit its inhabitants by being destroyed, which is unfortunate. misselthwaite wasn’t the problem, its people was, and they only thought misselthwaite was gloomy because they’d made it so. if they’d followed the teachings of burnett’s book, the one they were adapting, and thought a little more positively about it, then maybe they’d find it wasn’t such a terrible place to be. but, then, i guess we wouldn’t have the third act climax to artificially ramp up the stakes. how sad.

i could say more, but i’ll stop for now. i appreciate the effort, like i said, but i can’t help but feel this missed the mark.

#the secret garden #the secret garden 2020 #frances hodgson burnett #movie review #children's classics #classic literature

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paradisobound · 5 years ago

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Follow You Home

Summary: Dan and Phil are neighbours who are there for each other whenever they need help. When Phil breaks his ankle, Dan helps him take care of his dog, and their friendship begins to grow to something more.

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: None

Written With @dayevsphil for the @phanfictionevents Collab Fic Event!

A/N: we had a lot of fun writing this and we hope you'll like it too!

[Read on Ao3]

Dan is kind of an expert at procrastination. The deadline for this article is approaching at a steady, unrelenting pace, which means that it's the perfect time to clean out his refrigerator.

He's sitting on the cool tile in his pants and an old hoodie, sorting condiments by use-by dates, when his phone rings.

Most people don't bother to call him - it's easier to reach him by text or email, although he's also been known to ignore those until they go away - so he's a bit confused by the noise until it clicks in his mind. He digs in his hoodie pockets for his phone and if he grins at the caller ID, there's nobody here to see him except a very dubious bottle of mustard.

"Phil," he says, trying to sound casual and not like he jumps every time his neighbour calls.

"Hey, Dan," Phil's lovely, sweet voice comes through the line. He also sounds weirdly sheepish, which isn't unusual for him. "I've got kind of a weird favour to ask."

"Do you need a boost to your unlocked window again?" Dan asks. He's having a staring contest with the mustard, unsure if he should make any sudden movements to throw it out.

Phil laughs, and Dan feels a little smug about it. "No. Actually - okay. I did need that. But that was a few hours ago, and I thought I could get myself up there, and - anyway. I don't have as much upper body strength or coordination as I thought I did. Can you maybe, uh, walk Buffy for the next four to six weeks?"

"You know I love that dog," Dan says slowly. "But why? Did you fall off the building?"

"Yeah," says Phil. "And I broke my ankle."

Oof. Dan knows that Phil isn't exactly the most balanced guy in the world, but it still makes Dan wince to think about him getting himself hurt.

"Alright, I'll be over in like half an hour," Dan offers, decisively putting the mustard in his bin. "I'm sure she's buzzing by now, yeah?"

"Yeah," Phil laughs. He sounds relieved, like he thinks Dan would have said no to hanging out with a cute dog for money. "It'll feel weird because I'm, like, home, but I can't take her out myself."

Every time Dan has taken care of Buffy for short or extended periods, it's been because Phil is out of town. He vacations with his family a lot and travels for business every once in a while and Dan, well... works from home and could always use the extra income and the puppy cuddles.

Plus, it helps that Phil is one of the most attractive and funny people Dan has had the pleasure of meeting.

"Don't worry," Dan says. "I'm here to help."

“Oh thank you!” Phil exhales. “Actually, do you think you could take her for a walk right now? She’s a bit restless and I can’t…”

“Say no more! I’ll be right over.”

Dan hangs up, pressing end on his phone and washing his hands of whatever ended up being sticky on the outside of that mustard. He goes to brush his hands off on his legs when he suddenly remembers he's just in his pants.

Looking down at his legs, he figures that while he and Phil could be considered close or even bros, that didn’t mean that they were on the same page about Dan showing up to Phil’s in just his pants. Of course, a secret part of Dan wouldn’t necessarily be opposed to that scenario, but that’s something that’s stored deep inside Dan’s brain for another day.

He grabs the first pair of joggers that he sees on his floor and pulls them on and adjusts the waistband. He hesitates for a moment, debating if he should change his hoodie but then decides that it’s just a hoodie and it’ll be fine.

He grabs his phone from the kitchen counter and his keys from the stand next to the door and heads out down the hall.

Phil’s second-floor flat is right down the hall from Dan’s, which makes it convenient in most cases when they both needed help with the whole climbing through unlocked windows thing. But it also is nice when Phil went away because it means Dan doesn't technically have to leave to go and dog-sit Buffy.

He knocks on the door and then cringes to himself with the fact that Phil probably hasn’t learnt how to navigate yet with his broken ankle and—

The door opens and Dan tries to hide the blush that creeps over his face every time he comes face to face with beautiful blue eyes and stark black hair. Except that black hair is looking a little brown and Dan feels his cheeks heat up even more because how could a man already so attractive become even more attractive? Is that even possible?

His thoughts are interrupted by the bounding of chestnut fur leaping towards the door. Buffy is a big dog—well, she's a labradoodle—but she is very energetic and more than friendly. She's the sweetest puppy Dan’s ever met.

Phil’s leaning on a set of crutches and Dan sees the complete relief on Phil’s face now that they’ve both comprehended the situation.

“Buffy didn’t like being stuck here while I was at A&E so she’s very eager to go out for a walk,” Phil says, hobbling back from the door to make his way over to grab her lead.

Dan just watches and bends down, giving Buffy a few quick rubs before he decides he should help Phil with that. He stands back up straight and helps Phil detangle her lead and then he takes it back to the prancing pupper and hooks her on.

“I can take her to the park for a bit to let her run around?” Dan asks, already being dragged a bit by the over-energetic dog.

Phil nods. “That would be great!”

Dan’s turning back to lead Buffy down the hall when Phil speaks up again. “Hey, Dan?”

Dan turns around and looks back at him. “Yeah?”

“I really appreciate this, you know? I really don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t know you.”

Something resonates deep inside Dan and he struggles to keep back the giddy feelings in his chest as he just smiles and Phil smiles back, shutting the door.

Buffy is extremely eager to go for a walk. Dan isn't exactly a small person, and he still feels like he's being yanked down the stairs by a small horse. He laughs and half-jogs after her once they reach the pavement. He gets out of breath quickly and has to keep pulling her for frequent stops, but she doesn't seem to mind now that they've got some forward momentum.

The dog park isn't very busy at this time of day, when the majority of people are at work and their dogs are at home waiting for them to come home, so Dan lets Buffy off her leash and chases her around to try and get the zoomies out of her.

Buffy is a big girl with a ton of energy, and Dan has to lie down in the grass to catch his breath more than once. She thinks this is all a part of the game every time and licks all over his face until he's giggling and getting back up.

Sometimes Dan thinks about getting a dog, because his flat gets kind of lonely sometimes and the routine of going outside and actually getting exercise can only be good for him, but then again, he's already got Buffy. A small, secret part of Dan has domestic fantasies locked away in the back of his mind, where he gets to hang out with Buffy all day while her dad's at work. The sheer idea of Phil coming home to them every night and beaming at them like they're the best things to ever happen to him is honestly more salacious than Dan's filthiest fantasies.

Eventually, Dan's lungs and legs are protesting far too much for him to keep tiring Buffy out. He takes her back to their building, both of them panting the whole way.

Dan hesitates in front of Phil's door. He doesn't want to make Phil hobble over again, but it feels weird to just let himself in as well… Dan could overthink this for a long time if left to his own devices, just standing in the hallway like a weirdo, but Buffy is having none of that.

She whines and scratches at the door, and Dan makes the decision to just open it for her. She bounds inside when he lets her off the lead and he pauses again before following her inside.

"We're back," he calls through the flat. He hangs Buffy's lead up on the coat rack and toes off his shoes. "I'm just gonna get her a treat, alright?"

"Er, yeah, of course," Phil's voice comes from the direction of the kitchen, and Dan starts moving towards it like he's been magnetized. When he gets there, he's startled into a laugh. Phil is leaning against the counter, a crutch under one arm and a mug in his free hand. He looks alarmed as he watches Buffy go to her water bowl, like he's afraid she's gonna jump on him.

"She should be too tired to tackle you, at least for a little bit," Dan laughs. He grabs a couple of treats from the top of the fridge and makes Buffy sit and shake paw for them. "Good girl," he coos, scratching behind her ears.

"The best," Phil says, looking relieved when Buffy settles for licking the hand on his crutch and going to lie down.

"Mind if I also get a water?" Dan asks, feeling equal parts awkward and giddy. He never really comes back to Phil being here when he dogsits, so this is different.

Phil smiles and shakes his head. "Make yourself at home. I have to get dinner on the go, soon, but…" He trails off, gesturing with his half-empty mug at the cast on his foot. "It was annoying enough to make coffee. I've got no idea how to do any of this without, like, falling over or breaking something."

"You could order in," Dan suggests, and then laughs at the state of Phil's fridge. "And you might need to, mate, you've got nothing here."

"I know," Phil says. He grimaces a bit. "Not looking forward to grocery shopping."

"Well, why don't you leave me a list," says Dan, "and I'll pick up some stuff for you when I go tomorrow?"

The way Phil's face lights up with a sort of sheepish gratitude warms Dan to his core.

"That'd be really nice of you," Phil says, sounding so sincere about it that Dan is tempted to crack a joke and break the moment. Phil sets his mug down and starts patting around his pockets for his phone before he can. "What do you like on your pizza? You should stay."

Dan definitely wants that. He wants to sit on Phil's sofa and eat Domino's and watch a series that's new to both of them so that maybe he has another excuse to keep coming around. Dan is maybe a little pathetic over this guy.

Unfortunately, Dan is also very aware that he's sweaty and a little dirty from rolling around in the grass with Buffy.

"I like pretty much anything," says Dan, setting his water bottle on the counter. "Lots of different dips, please. I'm gonna go take a shower while you order if that's cool, I'm fucking rank from the park."

"Oh, yeah, sure," Phil grins. Then his expression turns mournful as he looks down at himself again. "That's… another thing I'm not sure how to accomplish."

Dan mumbles something that might be English words and hightails it out of the flat before he does something very stupid, like offer to help Phil with that, too. It's not until he's standing on the other side of his own door that he realises he left his shoes in Phil's entryway.

Dan feels too awkward to go and get his shoes from Phil’s flat so it takes him a little over a day before he does. And even then, it’s because Phil texted him about taking Buffy on another run—Dan doesn’t call it a walk anymore because Buffy literally makes him run.

So, Dan does what any awkward person would do when they left their only gym shoes at their neighbors flat and they need them. He walks barefoot to said flat and waits with his socks stepped onto a seemingly wet front entry mat.

Dan knocks on the door and after just a moment, Phil opens it open with same big smile on his face and an excited Buffy on his heels.

“You left your—”

“I left my—”

Phil lets out a chuckle and it briefly cools the heat that is definitely seeping up Dan’s cheeks now as they both attempted to say the same thing. God, this made him want to actually crawl into a hole in the floor.

“You left your shoes here,” Phil says still chuckling. “Buffy found the left one and thought it would be fun to drag it around by the shoestring.”

Dan winced and forced out a laugh. “Yeah, sorry about that. I don’t know why I walked out and didn’t even notice I wasn’t wearing any shoes.”

“Well you’re also not wearing any right now so maybe your subconscious is telling you something.”

Dan let out a proper laugh this time as he pointed a finger at Phil. “Listen, I…”

He’s stopped by the sound of other voices coming down the hallway and he suddenly feels weird standing outside of Phil’s door in a pair of joggers and a jumper with no shoes.

Phil moves out the way, as best as he can anyway with Buffy right behind him and his crutches making it difficult. Dan shuts the door behind them and notices his shoes sitting perfectly paired next to Phil’s own and his heart does a slight flip as he realizes that he actually kind of likes the way that that looks.

He picks up his shoes and slips them on as Phil is struggling to get the lead clipped on Buffy’s collar. Dan reaches out to help when he manages to get it hooked and Buffy is now running to the door.

“Guess this is my cue.” Dan laughs and Phil nods.

“I know I’ve already said this but thank you again, Dan! It does mean a lot!”

Dan smiles and looks down at his shoes just happens to notice the small signs of a bite mark on his left shoelace.

—

Two weeks pass with this new system in place while Phil is healing. Dan still comes over to Phil’s every day and he still takes Buffy out on a walk. Her energy was still the same and every day, Dan walked back slightly dirty with a layer of sweat.

Phil said that in two more weeks, the doctor told him he would be able to start wearing a boot on his foot and he seemed extremely glad for that from what Dan can tell.

Phil didn’t look like he was exactly happy being cooped up so much and the past few days, Buffy has even taken up to whimpering and pushing her head into Phil’s hip to get him out the door. But Phil’s lack of mobility makes it not possible for Phil to even walk a bit of the way to the park because his crutches leave him so exhausted.

Dan feels bad. And he wishes he had more that he could do to help.

He knows that Phil is an introvert, like himself, so he’s surprised by how many times Phil tries to get him to stay and hang out. Dan only caves a couple of times, because he hates being around Phil when he’s gross from the run, but Phil seems to be getting more and more desperate for someone to just sit and watch Bake Off with him while he can’t work. Dan makes up excuses most of the time, but it’s getting as hard to say no to Phil as it is to say no to Buffy.

“Dan,” Phil says when Dan and Buffy come back from their morning walk. “Hey, what are you doing today?”

“I have an article to write,” Dan says automatically. He holds up his laptop bag as evidence.

Phil’s face falls, even with Buffy licking his hand, and he nods. “Oh, okay. Sure. Just… if you wanted to, you could work here. It kind of sucks to only have Buffy to talk to all day, you know?”

Well, great. Now Dan feels even worse.

“Alright,” Dan says, following Buffy into the narrow entryway of Phil’s flat. They’re all standing very close together for a long moment, and then Buffy barks at both of them and runs off to the kitchen to wait for her treat.

“Sorry, I know you’re busy with work,” Phil says, sheepish. He looks like he’d be scratching the back of his neck if he didn’t need both hands to balance his crutches.

Dan is really, really not busy, but he’s been telling Phil that he is for two weeks now, so… he nods and pulls an exaggerated face. “A little, but I really don’t mind hanging out with Buffy.” Phil still looks vaguely sad, and that just shouldn’t be allowed. He’s way too handsome for that, all Dan ever wants to see him do is smile. He adds, “And I like hanging with you, too.”

Phil’s whole face brightens up, and Dan knows he’s made the right call.

And then that is part of their routine as well, Dan hanging out in Phil’s flat for a few hours every day. It's nice, because it's all that Dan ever wants to be doing, but it's also nerve-wracking - how is he supposed to keep hiding his stupid crush like this?

It's a good thing Phil is so oblivious.

But at the same time, it’s not. Because Dan can be a bit of a wuss when it comes to letting his feelings out. It’s how it took him nearly three months of pining to eventually to ask his prior ex for their number.

They work together in silence inside Phil’s flat. Phil is busy doing his own work on his laptop while Dan is on his own on the couch adjacent to Phil. Buffy is off in the corner of the living room on her bed taking a nap, snoring away with her legs twitching every so often. It makes Dan smile when he watches her for a bit.

“See something good on your computer?”

Dan snaps out of his trance and turns his head to Phil who is staring at him with a smile.

Dan shakes his head. “No, I was just watching Buffy sleep.”

Dan realizes how creepy that is after the world leave his mouth and he worries that they came off as weird. So he waits on baited breath as Phil lets out a sigh and turns his head towards the sleeping pup. “When I first got her, she slept in bed with me and it made me feel calm.”

Dan bit his lip, warm feelings coursing through his veins.

“I liked having a warm body to sleep next to,” Phil continued. “I don’t know, she just made me feel really safe. And it felt really nice to not be alone for once.”

“I’m sorry.”

Phil shrugs and lets out a smirk. “Don’t worry about it.” Phil says. “It’s definitely a me thing and I shouldn’t be involving you in my problems.”

Dan quickly shakes his head. “No, it’s nothing like that at all.” He pauses. “I really like hanging out with you, Phil. And I’m not just saying this because you have a cute dog.” Phil lets out a laugh and Dan snorts too. “But you were one of the first people I met when I moved here.”

“You were too.” Phil says. “I had just moved here from Manchester and I didn’t know a single person around here. And just to think that we got to know each other over the balcony incident of 2016.”

Dan lets out a loud laugh as he remembers how he came back from the store one day to see Phil attempting to get into his flat via the balcony. Dan had never laughed so hard in his life as he helped Phil out to get back inside. It was also during this time that Dan had seen just how attractive Phil really was.

“Dan?” Phil interrupts Dan’s thoughts and Dan turns his head.

“Yeah?”

“When I get my boot on in a week, can I--” Dan’s heart starts racing and Dan waits as Phil hesitates before finally saying, “Can I take you out to dinner?”

Dan feels his cheeks heat up and blush creep over his skin as he nods and smiles in agreement.

Phil gets his boot just a week later to wear for the next few weeks while his ankle finishes healing. Dan had asked him about his mobility level with it and Phil had assured that the doctor told him that he could take short walks but not over do it.

Dan had taken to going over to Phil’s every day to just sit and talk with him and play with Buffy. They haven't mentioned the ‘dinner’ since Phil had asked him but Dan still holds onto the hope that Phil meant it.

Dan wants nothing more than to be able to finally go on a date with Phil. At least, he hopes that's what Phil meant, because if he just wanted to take Dan to dinner as a thank-you then Dan is going to fling himself off the nearest bridge.

It's a few days after Phil gets the boot on that Dan receives a text. He's lying in bed and grinning at his ceiling because Phil wants to know if he's free tonight. Dan is always free when it's Phil asking, if he's honest.

Getting ready for the day is difficult. Dan changes his mind on an outfit roughly a dozen times, because Phil has only ever really seen him in his comfy 'house' and 'walking' clothes, and Dan's got a whole closet full of too-expensive things he rarely wears. He tries some of it on before he gets lazy and just holds things up against his body to the mirror. He plays the coin toss of washing his hair, hoping that when it dries and has product in it won't look like a frizzy mess.

The last time Dan went on a date was before he moved to London, so he's a little bit rusty with it all.

Dan leaves it until the last possible minute to get dressed after getting lost in a Reddit cave, and he ends up just grabbing from the stuff he'd laid out before at random. The wide neck on this jumper used to bother him, but he thinks it looks nice now. His ripped jeans feel tighter than usual around his legs, but he doesn't know if that's because they shrunk in the wash last time or because running around after a dog twice a day is actually good exercise. Maybe they'll be more difficult to take off later, but he likes the visual effect of it.

He manages to shove his clown feet into some sneakers just as someone knocks on his door. He does one last once-over in the mirror before taking a couple deep breaths and going to answer it.

"Hey," Dan breathes, feeling his mouth stretch into a wide grin.

Any worry that this isn't a date is swept away, because Phil looks really good. He's got his shirt buttoned up all the way and his brown hair has actual product in it for the first time in weeks.

Phil beams right back at Dan. "Hi!" he chirps. Dan feels gratified by the way his gorgeous eyes look Dan's outfit over. "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be," says Dan. He steps out into the hallway, a thrill going through his whole body when Phil doesn't take a step back to let him lock the door. They aren't touching, but Dan can feel Phil's body heat like they're about to be, and he's sure that he's blushing like an idiot when he turns back around.

Phil's smile widens, but he doesn't draw attention to whatever's going on on Dan's face. "Let's go," he says, "I got us an Uber and I'm still getting used to this boot."

There are a couple of awkward moments with the boot, like getting in and out of the car, because Phil is a naturally clumsy person and the depth perception with his own limbs isn't great either. Dan is there to help him, though, steadying Phil with a hand to his arm and feeling his stomach flutter whenever Phil smiles at him.

"You've got, like, three left feet," Dan giggles, holding Phil's elbow to guide him through the restaurant. The hostess is being accommodating now, but if Phil keeps knocking into other people's chairs, Dan is sure her attitude will change.

"Guess I'll just need to keep holding on to you, then," Phil grins, a little sheepish.

Dan blushes and steadies him the best that he can before they get to the booth and he helps Phil sit down. In hindsight, Dan feels like he should have asked the hostess to get them a table. But Phil is sitting quite comfortably in the booth with no apparent mind towards his own leg sticking out to the side a bit so Dan doesn’t bother her anymore.

The waitress makes her way over and offers them each some wine and they both take a glass of it before she asks if they wanted any water as well.

It’s awkward, and Dan’s not even going to try and say otherwise. Their feet are hitting each other under the table and Phil just tried to put his napkin on his lap but has now thrown it on the floor. Dan tries so hard to keep his composure, but as he sees Phil attempt to bend down and reach for it without totally jarring his foot up and kicking the table was actually a bit funny. So he stifles a laugh.

“Do you know what you’re going to get?” Phil speaks up now that he’s managed to grab the cloth napkin again and fold it over his lap.

Dan is still looking down at the menu and he bites his lip in concentration as he tries to decide what to get. “I’m not sure.”

“You can get whatever you want,” Phil said. “I’ll pay.”

Oh, this was a proper date then.

Dan set down the menu and he looked at Phil who was staring at him with a blush and a smile. “You don’t have to do that.”

Phil just shook his head, clearly not taking no for an answer.

The waitress came over and Dan ended up ordering a prawn spaghetti dish while Phil got a specialty pizza that Dan didn’t catch the name of. As they sipped on their wine and waited for the order, Dan found himself looking at Phil.

Phil was just so attractive and the fact that Dan was actually on a date with him was making his heart swell a bit. He found himself feeling floaty, his chest feeling hot but his stomach feeling fluttery. He loved it. It reminded him of when he had crushes as a teenager, except now he freely expresses them.

“I want to thank you again for helping me with Buffy.”

Dan rolls his eyes. “You’ve already thanked me enough, Phil.” He says with a playful tone. “You don’t have to keep thanking me for something that I genuinely enjoyed.”

“I know she can be a handful but she keeps me company,” Phil says. “She keeps me on my toes.”

“Not right now she doesn’t.” Dan jokes.

Phil’s eyes crinkle as he lets out a laugh and his tongue does the little thing that Dan has noticed it does when Phil is genuinely laughing, which is poking out of his teeth.

They continue having mindless conversations about Buffy and work and life in general. They don’t get too deep or too personal.

When their food comes, they barely speak as their starving stomachs protest more than their mouths and they both hungrily consume their food. When they’re both done, Phil asks for the tab and then he pays without Dan getting a single say in the matter, and then they get ready to leave.

Walking back out of the restaurant isn’t nearly as hard as walking in and they get outside to an Uber already waiting for them. Dan helps Phil get inside again and they sit next to each other the entire ride back to their flats. But this time, Phil’s hand makes it way over the seat and touches Dan’s with the lightest of touches and Dan turns over his palm and lets Phil put their hands together.

It’s such a small thing in the grand scheme of things, but Dan feels genuinely happy and content in that moment.

They take the lift up to their flats and as they stop outside of Phil’s, their hands still connected, Dan feels a bit of sadness crest in his chest as he realizes he was going to have to say goodbye to him for the night.

He knows it shouldn’t be this hard. They live nearly across the hall from each other. But for some reason, that short distance feels like oceans tonight and it’s weighing heavy on Dan’s chest.

Dan goes to say goodbye and dislodge their hands from each other, but as he goes to do so, Phil leans in and presses a kiss to his cheek. It’s nothing big, but it’s enough for Dan to feel himself blush. Phil pulls back after the quick peck and just smiles.

“I’d love to do this again sometime if you’d like?”

Dan quickly nods. “Me too. I really would too.”

They part ways and Dan walks back to his flat with his shoulders a bit slumped and his chest a bit heavy. But his cheek still feels the tingle of Phil’s kiss and when he shuts the door to his flat, he reaches up and feels the space that Phil had pressed his lips to.

He gets out of his clothes and into a pair of joggers and an old uni hoodie and is laying down on his couch when his phone buzzes and he looks down at the screen and sees a message from Phil.

Buffy misses you :( maybe we can have a sleepover?

Dan doesn’t need to be told twice as he rushes out the door of his flat with his toothbrush in hand and is greeted by Buffy and Phil in the doorway. And as he steps inside, he knows for a fact that this time is different than any other time he’s come over before.

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #fluff #alternate universe #collab fic #phanfic collab #phanfiction events #hope you enjoy :)

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floralseokjin · 6 years ago

Text

— crystallised 02 (m)

crystallised /ˈkrɪst(ə)lʌɪz/ (verb) make or become definite and clear

Six weeks, that’s all it takes to forget about the threesome you shared with your boyfriend, Yoongi, and your past...fuck buddy, Seokjin. After all, it’s no big deal. Yoongi and you are doing better than ever, there’s no reason to regret such a night shared. That is until you hear some gossip in the library one day, and then slowly, little by little, everything starts to fall apart... Can you begin to make sense out of all this confusion, or is it too late?

pairing; min yoongi x reader, kim seokjin x reader genre/warnings; love triangle (? if you can call it that, more so just a lot of confused feelings by everyone involved), college au, lots of flashbacks, smut, fluff (take it while you can), yoongi based chapter, angst…welp (sorry) words; 14,895

sequel to; memoirs of a mistake and lostmyhead

chapters; 01 ⤑ 02 ⤑ 03 ⤑ 04 ⤑ 05 ⤑ 06 ⤑ 07⤑ 08 ✓

Roughly five months previous

“So…uh…” Yoongi’s awkward sounding voice began by the side of you. You’d been set an individual assignment to do for the last hour of class, but no one was taking that into consideration, and the tutor hardly seemed to care that everyone was chatting away. You turned to Yoongi, watching him scratch the back of his neck. He seemed to always do that when he was nervous. Mostly when he was asked a question, put on the spot, his voice all low, bashful smile on his face… Not that you’d been paying much attention to him.

You hardly knew him really, had started talking to him because of this class. You saw him once a week when you sat next to him for two hours. You knew of him beforehand. Min Yoongi. Captain of the basketball team with an avid interest in music. Always have his earphones in. He’d only started taking them out in this class since you two had got friendly. Friends, maybe that’s what you were. Slightly. You enjoyed his company in this shitty class and he seemed to enjoy yours. You said hi when you saw one another on campus, and he even added you on Facebook not too long ago, liking your occasional selfies sometimes. (You ended up liking his too. He had a killer selfie game…) You’d even so recently studied together in the library a few times, gotten to know one another better. You’d actually be quite sad when this year would soon be over and this class was no more. He was funny, and quiet. Scrap that, he was normal. Better than most of the guys you knew or had known around here.

He sounded strange now though, and it caught your full attention, waiting for him to continue with a tilted head. “I was wondering if you–” He broke off to chuckle awkwardly.

“–erm, if you’d like to go out sometime…? I don’t know what you like…movies? Food? Both? Something different?”

His rushed words took a little time to sink in. When they did however, you couldn’t quite make sense of anything. Your cheeks felt hot, which was unlike you. Put on the spot and indeed taken by surprise would do that to a person, you guessed. Your heart was beating a little quickly too, dropping your gaze to your books. He was asking you out? On a date? You hadn’t been on one of those in so long. Your last boyfriend had hated shit like that, and well, Seokjin wasn’t dating material. Unless, you called hooking up in his bedroom a date, then you dated quite frequently… Yeah, you didn’t think so…

Deflecting. That’s what you did best, and weirdly nervous, this seemed the perfect time to start up again. “That’s different,” you mused, picking up your pencil to jot some notes down. Yoongi waited patiently. “You’re asking me out on a date date? Or is it a trick?”

“…A trick?” Yoongi puzzled.

“My track record with dates and guys hasn’t been… the best,” you explained, unsure why you were giving him the third degree. “Is this another trick? Another excuse?”

You managed to look up at him, one eyebrow raised. His cheeks were tinged a lovely shade of pink as he tried to fight for his words. You laughed, signalling you were only messing around and he shook his head. “No.” He insisted. “Ah, no,” he tried again, swallowing thickly. “I’m not like tha—I mean, I’m not into that…yeah…” He trailed off, giving up finally. He was just making it worse. Well, that’s what you figured he thought anyway.

It was actually quite cute. Maybe this was a test? Your subconscious testing his genuineness. It seemed to have some kind of effect on you anyway… Yoongi was a handsome guy, but it was his bashfulness that got you, his shyness… The guy could get nervy over the smallest of things. Cute. He was cute, and he was asking you out on a date… You were the nervy one now.

You went back to your work, pretty much shutting down the conversation, but your heart was still beating heavily in your chest. Yoongi went back his notes too, but he couldn’t sit still, pulling at his clothes and scratching the back of his neck like he had fleas. He was probably feeling like an idiot for getting turned down. You hated that. That wasn’t your intention, not really. Maybe if you really thought about it, Yoongi and you had been…flirting around lately? You were certainly more aware of his existence recently, content in his presence for those two hours a week, and the rest you’d spent studying. What did you really have to lose? Pretty much nothing. Yes, you and Seokjin were still fooling around, but that’s all it was ever going to be. He made that clear a lot, not that you were looking for more with him. Fuck no. It was just a complicated situation to be in. Thinking of the end... However, it was just one date… There really was no harm in it.

“So,” you began as class ended and you grabbed your bag, side-eying him almost coyly. God, you were flirting. It felt kind of exciting. “When do you want to do this?” Yoongi looked almost blank, trying to make sense of the turn in events. “Take me out? Are you free this weekend?”

He blinked away the shock, the strap of his backpack sliding down his arm as his hand went limp, and then he brightened up, the smile on his face making your heart feel weird. “I-I… Yeah, I’m free… C-can I take your number?”

“Oh, no,” Yoongi insisted, his hand reaching out to stop yours going into your purse. Your fingers touched and you were momentarily shocked by the warmth of his skin. You blinked up at him, coming to when he pulled away to reach for his wallet in his back pocket. “I’ll pay,” he shrugged.

“Really?” You asked, surprised in a different way now. You’d come from the movie theatre to a little diner across the road. You didn’t have the heart to tell him you were pretty sick of burgers because you worked around the smell sixteen hours a week. Besides, you really were having way too much fun to even think about what you were putting in your mouth.

“Unless you want to.” He backtracked, looking worried. Like he’d said something he shouldn’t. “Did I offend you? It’s just I wanted to take you out on this date so it’s only right I pay.”

“It’s fine,” you smiled, letting him happily pay for your food. He’d already paid for the movie tickets online, so you’d just naturally taken it that you’d be splitting.

“But Yoongi,” you nestled up to him as you left the diner, looping your arm inside his. He froze for a second, taken aback by your forwardness. Truthfully you shocked yourself too, but it felt nice, and you carried on walking, slower than before, as he waited for what you had to say. “I agreed to come on the date, so it’s not like I was held against my will.” You laughed. “I’ll pay next time?”

“Next time?” He repeated, reaching his car at the same time. You nodded and broke apart, stopping beside him, feeling weirdly nervous. You hoped you hadn’t assumed wrongly. That would be the most embarrassing thing ever. You’d had fun tonight, and it would be sad if that was all it was. One night. You sort of wanted more. Was that wrong?

But no sooner had he processed your question, he was grinning. “Right… next time. Where do you want to go? You can choose.” He offered.

You had a lightbulb moment. “Oh, well… Actually never mind.” You shook your head before you could begin, realising it was probably a stupid idea.

“No, come on,” he insisted, fingers wrapping around your wrist as he tugged gently. Your heart jumped. You were not used to this. Your heart only ever jumped where sex was concerned. A date to watch a movie was usually not what made your pulse quicken. But here you were, desperate for a second one. “Where do you want to go?” He looked like he was eager to do whatever it was.

You looked down at your feet, and Yoongi’s fingers traveled to your hand, holding it loosely. You hadn’t held hands in while. You remembered you did it once with Seokjin just to freak him out, but that didn’t count because well, it was Seokjin. Your mind fleeted to him for a moment, wondering what he was doing right now… You couldn’t help it. You’d felt a little guilty when you’d told him about the date. Even though you shouldn’t, and he wasn’t even bothered… Whatever. Now wasn’t the time.

“Well, it’s just I have two tickets at home for a textile exhibition at this museum pretty close by…but it’s tomorrow. So. Short notice.” You shrugged, easily giving him a way out if he found the idea too boring. Lina was supposed to go with you but it turned out she had to go visit her grandparents for the weekend. You could go on your own, it was no big deal, it’s just you had the spare admission.

“No. That’s fine,” he smiled. “I can do tomorrow. What time is it?”

“Noon.” You replied quickly, still unsure. “Are you sure? Do you like things like that?”

He chuckled, letting go of your hand to step backwards and open the passenger’s side for you. You got in as he spoke. “Textiles is like fabric, right? Clothes?” You nodded, laughing along. He shrugged. “I like fashion a lot.”

“That’s good then.” You suppressed your grin. You could tell Yoongi had some kind of interest in clothing by the way he dressed. No one was born with a fashion sense like that. Actually, that was one of the first things you’d noticed about him. Clothing always caught your eye. You waited until he was in the driver’s seat before you spoke again. “I major in fashion history and design.”

“You do?” He asked, sounding instantly interested.

“Yeah,” you lifted your shoulder casually.

You spoke in his car for an hour before he drove you home. You used the time to get to know one another more, telling him all about the major he previously didn’t know you did. You didn’t know he majored in physical education either, but it made perfect sense. He even invited you to one of his games next month. When he bid you goodnight he insisted on getting out his car, making plans on your doorstep to meet tomorrow morning. You were driving this time.

The exhibition date went really well. Yoongi even dressed up a little flashy. Texting you that morning to double check the dress code. You had never seen a guy suit a pair of loafers before, but there he was, looking fine as hell in them. If he found the place boring he didn’t let on, and he even helped you snap photos for your project that was due. By the end of the exhibition his fingers had found their way tightly laced with yours. You could get used to this hand holding lark, you thought to yourself.

The afternoon went by too quickly, and sadly you had to settle going for a quick coffee instead of finding a little café to eat at because you had work in a couple of hours.

“Where do you work?” He asked, looking interested.

You wrinkled your nose. “At Wendy’s”

“You don’t like it?” He chuckled. Even a fool could read your expression.

“No, I love smelling like grease all day.” The sarcasm tasted funny in your mouth before you shrugged. “It’s okay. Could be worse.”

He gaze on you lingered for a moment before he suggested something. “Wouldn’t you like to work somewhere a little more suited to your passion?”

“I don’t know,” you said, looking down at your mug. “I have thought about it…” To get out of that burger place would be a dream.

“Go for it.” He encouraged cutely. God. Cutely. What was up with you? It did make you giggle though. “It’ll look popping on your resume.” And then some.

“Popping on your resume,” you repeated, high pitched and in disbelief. “What are you? A middle aged uncle trying to be hip?”

“Shut up,” he whined quietly.

“But thank you,” you told him, reaching for his hand across the table to give it a grateful squeeze. “I’ll bear that in mind.” Your hands stayed like that until you were ready to leave.

He kissed you for the first time too that day. Or did you kiss him? You couldn’t really remember, it all happened so naturally. You were at your door again, both hands lightly holding one another’s as you said goodbye. This time there was no talk of a third date, but you could tell it was to be the natural progression.

He smiled down at you. You smiled back, and then your lips were meeting. It was a brief kiss, lasting no longer than 5 seconds, but it was warm, and gentle. Had your lips tingling all night, made work more bearable.

“You’re a really good kisser,” you told him as he pulled away, blinking a little too quickly, because you were not used to this feeling. You were not used to a small kiss making your knees weak and your head dizzy.

“Thank you.” He smiled, cheeks round, growing pink at the apples.

He text you just as you arrived at work, making you laugh out loud like an idiot, much to the puzzled eyes of coworkers, but you didn’t care.

Yoongi (17:45pm) Hi What I should have said was “you’re a good kisser too”

You (17:46pm) thank you why don’t you tell me that in person next time :’)

Yoongi (17:46pm) lol and when is this next time happening?

That evening you actually served people with a smile, much to the astonishment of your boss. Little did he know you were imagining every customer to be Yoongi.

Dating Yoongi was a new kind of fun. You’d never known the excitement something like that could bring. Although you were insanely sure it was because Yoongi was the guy in question. With each time you saw him, each time you messaged one another, you seemed to fall a little harder. It would be correct to say you’d never felt like this before. Your relationships in the past seemed to happen hot and fast, ended quite the same too. You were into them because you were attracted to them. Most of the time you didn’t take into consideration whether your personalities worked well together. But almost every time, you were left confused and dejected when things ended. You hid it well, but it was a little worrying to think how all your past relationships had ended so offhandedly. The last straw had been when your most recent ex had cheated on you. Nothing had made you feel more insignificant. Unwanted.

Granted, you had rushed into the hook up with Seokjin, but that was the exact difference. It was a hook up. You’d never done that before, and while dubious at it first, it seemed like the best thing you’d done concerning guys in general. There was no stress, no worry as to if he wasn’t into you as much, because all it was boiled down to was sex. In some ways the arrangement with Jin had been a breath of fresh air. A friendship had formed, and even though you teased one another back and forth continuously, you knew he thought so too. You were unofficial friends. Unofficial friends who fucked.

That’s why you were a little bit sad when things ended. Inevitable really. Things had been different ever since you’d told Lina. You couldn’t explain it, you’d just become more self-aware. More realistic. You couldn’t carry on this fuck buddy thing forever. It had to end sometime, and well, Yoongi showing an interest in you sped that process up. Since you’d shared that brief kiss with him there’d been some guilt tearing at your chest. With each kiss that followed it grew harder to ignore, and that was what made you acknowledge your feelings towards him in the end. You wouldn’t be feeling like this if what you and he were doing meant nothing. You didn’t want to continue this if you were still involved with Seokjin. It was unfair to both of them. You knew that.

Although Seokjin seemed unbothered by it. Expected, but it still seemed strange to leave his apartment one last time. The sex that night has been pretty shit, your mind elsewhere, worrying and wondering how things would go. Seokjin felt alien to you now that you were a little besotted with Yoongi. The things he said, the way he acted, they seemed different all of a sudden. He realised things were off too… Maybe that’s why it felt so strange. It was over just like that, you didn’t really have much time to dwell on it. You were instantly distracted, your new relationship with Yoongi taking up every thought and feeling you had.

The guilt gone, you felt freer than ever, could fall for him as hard as you wanted. Yoongi was different to any other guy you’d dated in the past. He was sweet, keen to take things slowly, and in the end that just drove you wilder. With each kiss and hug goodbye he gave you, you were beginning to itch for more.

“Want to come inside?” You asked him one night on your doorstep, one of his arms slung around your waist, one of yours around his neck. He’d just kissed you so painfully slow you thought you’d surely pass out, tasting hints of his tongue that you desperately needed more of.

He’d looked a little hesitant, but there was an offer of food to go with it, and that seemed too good to pass up. He’d taken you to a gig, one of his favourite bands were playing down town, and while super fun, there’d been nothing to eat there. You were starving by the end of the night and so was he it seemed. You made him cup ramen as he stood awkwardly by your refrigerator. Adorably cute as always.

“You live alone?” He asked. It was kind of hard not to notice the one roomed apartment. Small but cosy, you’d fallen in love with this place as soon as you’d viewed it. Your father had been quite pleased with how efficient (and cheap) the place was too, so that helped with getting your own way. You’d been desperate to move out for a while, and your parents had to let go of their baby girl some time. It wasn’t that far away from your family home though, so you didn’t have to admit you missed them quite yet, able to visit regularly.

“Yeah I moved in not so long ago thanks to my parents.” You smiled sheepishly. You paid all the bills that came with it, but admittedly, they paid the rent.

“Oh. I see.” He teased. “Someone’s spoilt.”

You laughed, acting affronted. “That’s what…” You trailed off, realising who you were about to mention. Seokjin always teased you like that. You were certain, although you couldn’t be sure, that Yoongi had no clue about your history with Jin. You’d debated on whether you should tell him or not, but the timing was never right and now it seemed pointless. Besides, there was no competition. If there was a choice, you’d chosen Yoongi. As soon as you’d realised your feelings, you’d stopped things with Seokjin. Simple.

“That’s not entirely true,” you started again, hoping your save worked. “They only pay the rent.”

Yoongi carried on smiling, stepping closer. If he noticed something, he didn’t let on. “Fair enough. But I guess that’s why you always let me pay for stuff, huh?”

“Lies.” You huffed, pushing his cup of ramen to him so he could take it, stopping him short of wrapping his arms around you. Which was a mistake, because you really wanted that. The flirting was fun though. “We share it as much as you let me.” He kept buying things in advance, refusing to tell you how much they were.

You showed him to your couch where you switched on the TV, hoping this would at least persuade him to stay a little longer tonight. You were still on a high from the gig, feeling all giddy inside when you remembered how he’d held your hips from behind, rested his chin on your shoulder. You were desperate to feel his lips on yours again. He hadn’t kissed you all night.

Once you’d finished eating, empty cups on your coffee table, you settled on watching some lame movie you’d found on one of the cable channels. You hoped as you shifted nearer to him it looked natural. You felt his gaze on you, and when you looked up, he was smiling fondly. Your heart did that fluttering thing again, but it didn’t have time to settle because he was cupping your jaw, leaning down to meet your lips.

The kiss was quick. He pulled away to wait for your reaction like he usually did. “Finally.” You murmured. “Took you long enough.”

He whined lowly. “We were eating. Remind me to put mints in my pocket next time.”

You rolled your eyes. “Like I care about that.” You’d taste the same in the end. That seemed to do the trick anyway, and soon he was kissing you again.

He was slow at first, like he usually was, but this time it wasn’t a kiss goodbye. It was just a kiss. A kiss you’d been longing for. For a while. His tongue swiped against your bottom lip, like it had many times before, but this time he didn’t just stop it at that. He didn’t just stop it when your tongue brushed against his, stealing hints like you did usually. This time he pushed deeper into your mouth, his hands gripping your face tighter, your arms wrapping around his shoulders.

It grew hot fast, your mind clouded instantly. No matter how long you’d hoped for this, you still weren’t ready, finding it hard to keep up with his constant change in motions. He kept switching from rampant presses of his lips against yours to wide strokes of his tongue. One of his hands moved to your side, gently squeezing and stroking the skin over your clothing.

“Yoongi,” you breathed, voice shaky when he pulled away to catch his breath. You were about a second away from climbing on top his lap, needing to feel his body against yours somehow, but like minded he began to settle you down into the sofa, following suit as he pushed his body into yours, meeting your mouth again.

This was even better. The feeling of his weight on top of yours as he ran his hands down your body carefully. The eagerness of his mouth and tongue. You clung to him, hands sliding down his back, one slipping under his hoody because you couldn’t help yourself, feeling the smooth skin of his back under your fingertips.

You were both out of breath, but he sounded so sexy, each exhale getting more and more laboured, almost panting against your mouth. You panted too, but each one ended in a sweet sigh and it seemed to drive him wild, tongue licking more determinedly, desperate to make you continue. When he groaned in the end, you couldn’t help but circle your hips into his, the heat between your bodies driving you wild, and that’s when you felt his erection against your inner thigh. Your hand slid out from under his hoody, pushing down against his hip instead, desperate to feel more. He gave it to you in the form of a grunt, grinding down against you.

Something changed that night between you. You’d never been so sure of your feelings.

“Are you going to make me cum still dressed?” You laughed weakly, pulling away from Yoongi’s mouth but still unable to stop grinding into him. You’d been making out for what felt like hours, Yoongi underneath you, straddled on your couch, where he was most nights since you’d invited him in the first time.

He didn’t reply, just gripped your ass, pressing you down on his hard on. It only reminded you how wet you were, underwear sodden, stuck to your core. You ached for some type of release, and if he kept this up, you’d cum soon. You couldn’t take much more, skin hot and sticky, uncomfortable.

“Yoongiii,” you whined into his mouth, sounding desperate. You hoped it would work. This had been the usual set up for a week or so. Practically dry humping like a pair of hormonal teenagers. It seemed to get worse every time. Sick of only feeling his dick, you wanted it inside you instead.

He pulled away from your mouth slowly, something in his eyes that told you he was unsure of something. When he spoke, you realised why. “You’re…you’re not still hooking up with Jin, are you?”

You were shocked to say the least, but you quickly realised how stupid you had been to think Yoongi had no clue about your past. Suddenly, Seokjin and you seemed like a dirty little secret. You panicked. Already fighting over words to try and explain everything but stopped yourself. He deserved the simple answer. At least, for starters.

“No,” you shook your head slowly, weaving your fingers into his shirt, looking down at him. “I ended that a little while ago.” You really needed to say more. It wasn’t enough. “Yoongi, I—”

“Good.” He cut you off, your mouth open in surprise, but before you could close it again, he was kissing you. Harder. Faster. Hands trailing down your body, slipping under your top, pawing at your clammy skin. “God, I want to feel you so bad.”

You moaned immediately. His words what you’d been longing to hear for a while. Up until now, the erection was the only real sign that had told you he was into you. Words never seemed to be his forte, but you took that as him just being quiet. However maybe he’d been worried about what type of relationship you had with Seokjin instead.

“Say my name again,” he asked into your mouth, one hand gripping your ass, kneading the flesh. Your head was a little thrown. You’d gone from horny and desperate to guilty, back to horny and desperate. You knew maybe deep down you should try and at least talk about the Jin thing, but Yoongi seemed like he couldn’t care less now that you’d given him a straight answer. Like he’d needed that confirmation and now everything was fine.

“Yoongi.” You gasped, giving him his request. “I want you too.”

“Cum first.” Your body jolted as his command. Woah, okay. Where did that come from? He pulled away from your mouth to smile a little, but he was out of breath, each exhale shaky and he jerked into your touch when you ran your hands down his chest, shuffling closer.

“Cum like this. You’re nearly there. I want to see your face.” He rasped, nudging his hips into yours. It really wouldn’t take you long. You’d worked yourself up all night. Longer than that even, and Yoongi was super hard. His dick rubbed against your core every time you circled over him, getting yourself off on his body as he watched. He stayed silent after his little outburst, which was hotter than you expected, and soon, under his gaze, you came. It was hard and fast, your body almost shivering as you lifted from him, fingers digging into his sides. It was one of those orgasms that were an odd mix between satisfying and frustrating. Satisfying because it knocked you for six, but frustrating because a) you’d given it to yourself, and b) you wanted Yoongi more than ever now.

“Shit,” he muttered as your hands raced for his fly, unzipping him clumsily. You were acting with a buzzed mind, desperate and impatient. You needed to see him, get your hands on him. You needed to feel his dick in your hand. “Aw, y-yeah,” he panted when you finally did, jutting into you, desperate for some friction.

“Yoongi, you’re so hard,” you murmured, looking at him with your mouth parted slightly. He was so hot and solid against your palm you wondered if it was painful in any way. It just made you want him more, owning the fact you’d made him this hard.

“Gonna explode,” he strangled out with a weak chuckle, eyes fluttering downwards as he watched you rake your fist over him. “God.” He groaned, digging his fingers into your hips. “Can we? I mean,” he shook his head, correcting himself. “You want to have sex?”

You could have screamed yes from the rooftops, nodding your head widely. “Took you long enough,” you whined, wrapping your arms around his neck as you moved closer, letting him tug your shorts down. His hands squeezed at your ass, fingers hooking under your underwear to pull that down too, and you worked together to wiggle and kick them down your body and onto the floor. He pushed you back so he could get a look between your legs, satisfaction audible as he began to rub two fingers across your folds.

No. You were going to blow up if you didn’t feel him inside you immediately. You couldn’t take much more, especially as you felt his dick graze against your core, making you physically ache. “Condom?” You rushed out, looking down at him, shaking him slightly. “Do you have a condom?”

“Back pocket, back pocket.” Words jumbled out of him, just as impatient, and you practically lunged behind him, hand grabbing for his wallet clumsily as he tried to hover, letting you reach. “Fuck,” he grunted in frustration as you struggled. It would definitely be easier if you broke apart for a moment, but that didn’t seem possible, and finally you fished the leather out of his pocket, opening it and searching for the little foil packet. You found two, grinning at him. “You came prepared.”

He gave you a sheepish smile but was too horny to let your teasing embarrass him, his hands falling to his crotch to tug his jeans down. Excited, you grabbed a condom and ripped it open, bringing it to his dick. “Ready?”

He nodded as you slipped it on, cupping your face to pull you closer. He kissed your mouth gently. “If I cum immediately I swear I can go again. Just give me ten minutes.”

“Yoongi,” you whined weakly as he chuckled.

“What? It’s true,” he grinned, wrapping his hands around your waist to lift you up and align you with his dick. “Now, quit making me wait any longer.”

You scoffed in disbelief. “You’re the one that made us wait.”

He kissed you again, smiling into your mouth before you broke apart. “You can’t rush a good thing.” Your heart fluttered, smiling too. That seemed about right. The longer you’d waited, the happier you’d gotten. Your face may split in half from all the grinning, still there when he slowly stretched you out, never taking your gaze off one another.

“You good?” You asked breathlessly, once he’d bottomed out, chests rising up and down in sync.

He hummed, closing his eyes for a moment. “Feel like I’m in heaven.”

“Wow, cringe,” you rolled your eyes, wrapping your arms around his neck as you began moving.

Yoongi made no attempt to speak again, but at this point it didn’t throw you anymore. His silence still made you wet, still got you hot, and by the way he was looking up at you as if you owned his entire world, that was enough. He came in a sweat, arms wrapped tightly around your middle as he stiffened, panting loudly together. When he came to, he tugged at your top, words blending into one another, voice low. “I need to get you out of these clothes.”

Forty-five minutes later you found yourself wrapped inside your sheets in bed, sticky with sweat and out of breath. Yoongi really wasn’t joking around when he said he could go again. It felt nice to lay beside him, your head on his chest as he played with your fingers, and in the comforting silence, you felt the urge to apologise.

“Yoongi,” you began, spreading apart from him so you could see his face. He looked at you questioningly. “I’m sorry I never told you about Seokjin.” In hindsight, that seemed like a terrible idea on your end. Yes, maybe Seokjin and you were nothing serious, but that still didn’t mean you should’ve kept it a secret. It should’ve been the first thing you’d told him.

His expression softened, hand reaching to brush through your hair lightly. “You didn’t really need to,” he shrugged. “Pretty much everyone knew.” His casualness relieved you a little, but if you really thought about it, that made it worse because he knew that you were staying silent. Not that he seemed to mind. You heard him chuckle, pulling you out of your thoughts. “I saw you together at that party once, remember?”

No wonder everyone knew. How had you been so oblivious? What would people think now? You’d gone from one guy to another. No, you couldn’t think like that. What did it matter anyway? Who cared what people thought. You knew the truth. “What party?” You wondered, curious as to why he seemed so amused.

You couldn’t even remember what party he was referring to, but he seemed a little sheepish as he shrugged, a smile playing on his lips. “It’s nothing.”

“No, c’mon,” you urged, rolling back into him. You were interested now, wanting to recall that night. It couldn’t have been bad if he found it funny. “Tell me,” you grinned as he wound his arms around your waist, squishing you into his warmth. It was hard not to kiss him outright. But if you did that, you’d just get distracted, and you were trying to do the right thing here and talk.

He lifted his shoulder again, but gave in. “It’s just I went to get you a drink that night. I saw you on your own.” You frowned, trying to rack your brains. “And right as I was coming through the doorway you came whizzing out. Straight upstairs.” He laughed at his own misfortune, making sure to look you in the eyes as he finished. “You came down with him half an hour later…”

Oh. You remembered now. That was the night Seokjin insisted you fuck him in a closet. How could you forget that Yoongi had been there? Thinking back, the memories became clearer. You had liked what Yoongi was wearing that night. You’d said hi to him. Did he ever say hi back? If he saw you that night with Jin, you couldn’t really recall, and now you felt bad…

“I’m sorry,” you winced, pulling a face. It was lame, but you meant it.

“No, don’t be,” he shook his head, smiling. “It’s kinda funny.” It made you feel better to know that he wasn’t bothered by the past. “Doesn’t matter now anyway,” he added, your heart stopping when he kissed you. You got lost for a moment, just enjoying the way his mouth felt against yours. You really could kiss him forever and never get bored. “I can’t believe this actually happened though,” he admitted when he pulled away, your noses rubbing together slightly.

God. When had you ever felt this content? It was a foreign feeling, one you had never felt before, and deep down you knew you owed it to yourself to be truthful. You were sometimes so scared of being happy and just letting yourself feel, that opportunities past you by. You didn’t want Yoongi to pass you by. You wanted him to stay. He was a good guy.

“Yoongi…” You began, voice slightly shaking with nerves. He tilted his head, a hand playing up your back. You took a deep breath. “I like you. A lot.” You had never been so honest in all your life. You could hear your heart thudding inside your chest. You didn’t give him a chance to reply, already freaking out. “Is that scary? It sounds scary.”

“No,” he exclaimed, moving to cup your face. “No, why would it be scary?” He chuckled.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, voice small. It was scary because you had just confessed your feelings. It was scary because he may not like you back. It was scary because it didn’t seem real. It was scary because this was all new… You could go on, but for some reason, you couldn’t tell him all that.

“It’s not scary at all,” he insisted. “It’s brilliant, because I like you too.” Your eyes widened, still unable to get your hopes up, but he carried on and it was getting harder and harder to stay pessimistic. “More than a lot. Just wasn’t sure you liked me back,” he smiled. “Now I am.”

He found your lips again. You got lost once more. This was really happening. Everything really was working out. “So, what does this mean?” He asked eventually, when you were out of breath from all that kissing. “We’re dating?”

“I thought we were dating this whole time,” you said, voice small. Dates meant dating, right? That’s what you’d been doing for weeks.

He smiled and nodded, like he’d needed confirmation. “We were. Okay, so…” He raised an eyebrow. “We could make it official? Boyfriend. Girlfriend.”

“I’d like that.” You’d more than like that. You could probably keel over from how happy you were right now.

“I’d like that, too.” Another kiss. This time he flipped you on your back, rolled on top of you. Once again you were getting sticky under your sheets, out of breath and pulsing with desire. “You know what else I’d like?” He hummed, running a hand down your stomach, hair a little messy from where you’d run your fingers all through it. “To taste you…”

That was the night you found out Yoongi had been blessed by the pussy eating god. You came fast, in a daze, legs shaking, wondering how you’d lucked out so good. Yoongi was a little worse for wear. It turned out going down on you really got to him too. He was hard again, dick brushing between your legs and he whined in your ear, annoyed with himself. “I really wish I’d carried more than two condoms with me.”

You giggled, reaching for his tongue, tasting yourself. “It’s okay.” He let you roll him over easily, watching you curiously. He looked good in your bed, you thought to yourself. If you had your way, he’d never leave. You smirked. “How about I return the favour?”

You’d never really considered yourself a nostalgic person. The past was the past for a reason, and you rarely let yourself get caught up in memories. However, that was changing now. It had been three days since the party and three days since you’d seen Yoongi. You were too scared to message or call him, especially because he hadn’t made any attempt to either, and you’d grown sick of religiously checking your phone every few minutes. You didn’t want to assume you were over, especially because there had been no argument involved, but you had a bad feeling in your gut, and with the radio silence, all you had were your thoughts.

All you had was time to think about how good things had been and now wondering what went wrong? Nothing made sense. Why would Yoongi suggest such a crazy thing? Another threesome? It seemed so absurd, so unneeded. You’d been so happy for these past few weeks, ever since… Maybe you were stupid. You’d been a little deluded, thinking what happened between you, Yoongi and Seokjin was a good thing. Unconventional yes, but it had seemed to work… There had been no consequences. Until now…

Now, the first point of call was to blame yourself. Thinking back to the beginning of your relationship with Yoongi, everything had been perfect. You replayed the memories over and over before bed at night. Yes, he wasn’t what you were used to, and sometimes he was hard to read, but you never questioned his feelings towards you. You’d never questioned yours either. You’d just questioned your compatibility. Sometimes it felt like he didn’t get you. Sometimes it felt like something was missing. Was it a sexual thing?

So what if he liked to stay silent? So what if you didn’t have sex as often as you were used to? It seemed silly now to know you’d felt that way. It was the most minuscule problem in the world, but somehow you’d found yourself comparing everything to how it was with Seokjin. Or at least the sex. Because that’s all you and he ever had been. Maybe you could try and blame him? Seokjin was the one who’d messaged you that night, but it just felt wrong to place all the responsibility on his shoulders. You hadn’t ignored him, you’d played along, and you’d enjoyed it.

But why had Yoongi said yes? You shouldn’t blame yourself if he agreed to the threesome, if he’d enjoyed himself. Because he had. He was different that night, but it felt natural. Like he’d been holding back on you, and things had changed. Afterwards, you were happier than ever. You were closer. The sex got better, and even though you both outright didn’t acknowledge the threesome after that, you were on the same page. But that night was supposed to have been a one off.

So you guessed you weren’t on the same page because he’d tried to make it happen again. Why, you were stumped. It made you question everything. You had no desire for a repeat. You were under the impression Yoongi and you were working towards something more serious. This was the longest relationship you’d been involved in. An actual relationship. Where you labelled it just that. How could you have been so wrong? There was no other explanation. The first threesome had happened when you were both maybe feeling the uncertainty of a new relationship, but to ask for a second when you thought you guys were as fine as ever was a blow your heart couldn’t handle. Especially because you had no explanation from his end.

Yoongi was supposed to be different to the other guys you’d been with in the past, but right now you weren’t so sure. You were lost, relationships like this over your head. You didn’t know how to handle it. You didn’t know how to solve it. You’d always looked at Yoongi for some direction, but now he was nowhere to be seen…

That’s why you were so relieved when he turned up at your door a day later. Any anger you had at him for pretty much ignoring you dispersed as soon as you saw his face. It was a little pathetic, but you didn’t care.

“Hey,” he greeted you. A tiny sheepish smile tugging at one side of his mouth, hands in his front pockets. “Can I come inside?”

You nodded quickly, stepping back to let him in. You were still a little shocked to see him, honestly about to hit the hay and call it a night not moments before even though it was only 7pm. Classes had been shitty today, and it was getting pretty difficult pretending things were okay between you and Yoongi when it came to Lina. She still had no clue about your threesome, so you couldn’t very well confide in her now. Besides, she was on cloud nine after going on a date with the guy she’d met at the party, so you didn’t want to be a downer.

“I’m so, so sorry,” Yoongi started immediately as he shut the door. For a moment those words scared you. Were they a I’m sorry but it’s over kind of apology, or I’m sorry, please forgive me? You stayed silent, not really trusting your own voice. He continued.

“About everything. The other night. The awkward, stupid predicament I put you in.” He raised his hands to his head, tugging at his grey beanie. He sounded sorry at least. The dread left you a little. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“It’s okay,” you reassured him. Almost immediately.

He shook his head, insisted. “No, it’s not.”

“Yoongi.” You stepped closer to him. “I’m just glad you’re here…apologising.” And you were. For days you thought you wouldn’t even have that. You were scared things would just fizzle out without an explanation. That’s how things usually went for you. The relief flooding through your body right now was something you’d longed for.

“I was really, really drunk,” he said, stopping and starting as he hovered like he couldn’t relax. “I lost my head a bit, and I’m embarrassed.” He couldn’t look you in the eyes, and you felt bad for him, reaching for his hand. He stopped in his tracks, finally his gaze flickering over your face. “I didn’t know if you wanted to see me. You didn’t message me, so I…”

“I didn’t think you wanted to see me.”

“No, what?” He sounded guilt-ridden, his hand squeezing yours. That was the first bit of physical reassurance he’d shown you. “Please don’t ever think that.”

“You said you didn’t want me to go with you.” Your voice was small, and now it was your turn not to look him in the eyes. To feel unwanted wasn’t something you enjoyed, regardless if you were imagining it or not.

“I know,” he murmured. “That’s just because I felt awful over everything.”

That did make sense. He was embarrassed because of what happened. You would be too. But still… You didn’t really have a clear enough explanation. He was very drunk that night, yes, but why was his first thought to proposition Seokjin and you? It was really out of character. It didn’t make much sense. Why he’d want a redo if you were happier than ever… You could question him more. Or at least try to, but what use would that do? His apology was sincere anyway, you could tell that. You knew him. Pressing for a logical reason probably wasn’t the best thing to do. You just wanted to forget about it. Move on and pretend it never happened.

You stretched a smile across your face. It wasn’t fake. It was just a little hard to do. “That’s okay then.”

He looked over your face, like he was trying to read your expression. He must’ve seen something he was hoping for because slowly he wound his arms around your middle, smiling softly. “I’m sorry for leaving you there. With him…”

The distaste in his voice took you by surprise. Yes, it seemed like he and Seokjin weren’t the biggest fans of one another, Yoongi had tried to fight him after all a few nights ago, but like he said, he was drunk. You really weren’t expecting the outright disdain. Maybe because you never really spoke about the other guy, and more so because Yoongi had been the one to suggest a repeat. He couldn’t have it both ways. That just didn’t make sense.

“It’s fine,” you reassured him, wanting the awful experience just to be over. There was no point keeping it going. What good would it do? “Seokjin and I talked for a bit. He’s okay with it,” you shrugged offhandedly.

“It’s not really fine though, is it?” He persisted. “Nothing happened, did it?” Your heart stopped. What did that mean? Was he asking you if something happened between the two of you? The near kiss popped into your head. If it was even that. Seokjin had intercepted it so well you couldn’t be sure if you’d even tried in the first place. You hadn’t wanted to kiss him, you’d just been upset that night. Seokjin had been nothing but a friend. For the past couple of days you couldn’t even let yourself think about him anyway, too distracted with Yoongi and your relationship near to tatters.

“He wasn’t a dick to you?” Yoongi continued, confusing and easing you at the same time. He wasn’t asking you if anything happened, but he was making stupid assumptions.

“What? No,” you chuckled awkwardly. “He’s not like that. He’s…” You stopped yourself from sticking up Seokjin. What good would it do? It was pretty irrelevant. It had nothing to do with Yoongi and you. Nothing to do with your relationship. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s just forget about it,” you shook your head, hooking your arms around his neck.

It was strange. You’d resolved things but it still felt weird. Yoongi was acting strange, not like him, and you damned the evening you’d ever agreed to go to that stupid party. It had fucked everything up and it wasn’t fair. You just needed to forget it ever happened. Murmuring his name you kissed him firmly, wanting to distract him. Make things better. It took him a moment to kiss you back, but once he did that didn’t matter anymore.

“I missed you,” you told him as you broke apart, tilting your head.

He viewed you once again, gaze lingering, reading you. It was like he was searching for something, a reaction from you. When he smiled and reached for your lips again on his own accord, you felt like you’d passed whatever silent test he’d created. You didn’t care anyway, not when you were in his arms.

“I’m sorry again,” he said when you began dragging him to the sofa. “It’s okay if I stay?” He asked, when the back of your knees hit the cushions.

“Of course!” You exclaimed, pouting. “Unless you want to leave…”

He laughed and shook his head, popping down and tugging you with him. You relished each tug of his mouth, each swipe of his tongue. His arms still wrapped around your body, holding you to him. Your hands slipped under his hoody, wanting to just feel him. Just to feel close in any way possible after you’d been so sure it was over.

He stopped you soon after that, wrapping his fingers around your wrists. “Hey, wanna just lie here?” He asked softly, kissing your forehead.

You nodded. “Yes, please.” To be honest, whatever he thought you were trying to do had been wrong. You were just content with cuddling him, being close in other ways. Kissing and feeling were enough, just to remind you that you guys were okay and happy. He’d probably mistaken your wondering hands, no big deal.

“Tell me about your day. What you’ve been up to these last few days…” He hummed as you laid your head on his chest, one of his hands playing with the ends of your hair.

And you did. You talked for so long it reminded you of the start of your relationship where you were just getting to know one another. You spoke for so long you began to get sleepy, eyes feeling heavy and droopy until you were practically asleep. You could tell he’d nodded off too, and you couldn’t wait to follow, but then your brain betrayed you. In the silence it had time to start up again. You were doing an awful lot of thinking lately.

You should’ve felt happy. At ease now that Yoongi and you had made up, and while yes, you’d spent the evening catching up and acting like usual, something still felt off. You were on edge for some reason, and you hated it. You’d never felt on edge with Yoongi. But now you were impatient, waiting on something you didn’t know. Didn’t understand. Why did your relationship seem stagnant already? Like you’d come to a stand still. Hit an imaginary wall. You’d been together for a few months, shouldn’t things have gotten to the next level by now? Feelings should have grown to their full capacity. You were sure of it, but they seemed to be lying dormant instead. There were no love confessions, no sappy words. In all honestly, that confused you. Like you were expecting something that didn’t seem to be coming. Maybe in the deepest part of your mind this felt like a waste of time.

You’d felt like this once before. Not earning for more, just bored with what you had. With Seokjin. This feeling right now. It was just like how you’d felt before you began dating Yoongi. Impatient for no reason. Bored and dejected. That scared you. It scared you more than anything. Yoongi was the one. You were sure of it. So why did you feel like this? Why were you letting yourself think of Seokjin right now?

He hadn’t crept into your mind for so long. Not since the Sohee thing anyway. The library incident had messed with your head, but even after last weekend, you still ploughed on, too preoccupied with your relationship to think about how much you’d enjoyed his company as he’d talked to you and walked you home the night of that party… How surprisingly it wasn’t awkward, despite the last time you’d seen him, the last time you’d slept together… How much his reassurance had comforted you when he’d told you there’d been no one else since Sohee. Just you. You. Seokjin and you.

What you and he had was once upon a time a friendship. A fucked up one, but it was still a friendship. You hadn’t realised what you would be throwing away once you ended things and got serious with Yoongi. What would’ve happened if you’d never given Yoongi a chance? If you’d never gone on that date? Would you still be hooking up with Jin? Or would it have fizzled out? Maybe he would have been the one to end things. The thought made your heart feel weird. It was getting dark outside now, and with the night brought even more confusion. You could hear Yoongi’s faint breathing, feel the way his chest moved under your head, but now your mind was running away with you.

It wasn’t Yoongi. It was Seokjin. You wondered what it would feel like to have him hold you like this. It would have to be the twilight zone, but just imagine. When he’d hugged you the other night it had felt nice. It made all your memories with him flood to the front of your brain. Like you said, you had never been a nostalgic person, but something was changing. Everything was changing. Without your agreement, and you didn’t know how to stop it. No matter how hard you wanted to…

Things continued to feel off for a couple more weeks. On the outside looking in, Yoongi and you looked the same as you had for months. You hung out at one another’s apartments, met up for lunch on campus, held hands, but… You still had the incomplete feeling in your chest. Something was missing. You just didn’t know what. When had everything turned so stale? Like you were just going through the motions, and this time you couldn’t try to blame yourself. In fact, you were trying really hard to get things back on track. It was Yoongi that seemed to be resisting.

“Yoongi,” you murmured, wrapping your arms around him tighter, attempting to pull him closer. To meet your lips.

“Mhm,” he hummed against you, not even bothering to kiss you back as his hands slide down your naked body to grip your hips. “Turn around, baby.” He said, lips brushing down your chest before he turned you over. You would have preferred to stay as you were, to see his face, to be able to kiss him, but you couldn't find it in you to complain, not when it felt so good, pleasure clouding your mind.

“Yeah, that’s more like it," he grunted as you got on your knees, hearing the moan tear from the back of your throat when he slid back inside you. He spanked your ass lightly before grabbing the flesh, thrusting into you harder. “Yeah, you like that." Your noises encouraged him, drilling into you faster. Your orgasm was close, and you clenched your eyes shut, face pressed into the pillow as it hit you.

“Always so good for me,” he groaned, not taking long to finish now that he could feel you squeezing around him. He came inside you, pulling out of you quickly. You felt instantly empty. A little cold too, as he touched your back, motioning for your attention. “Wanna clean up first or should I?”

“You can,” you mumbled, twisting your head to see him already grabbing his sweatpants and making his way to the bathroom.

That was it? No kiss? In fact, it seemed like you were always initiating the kissing these days. Ever since the party and the make up things had changed. It was so subtle maybe you wouldn’t have noticed if you weren’t already feeling iffy. Apologises were meant to make things better not worse, else what was the point? Tonight was the first time Yoongi flat out hadn’t kissed you after sex. Usually there were a few shared after the come down, a cuddle and some pillow talk. Not escaping to the bathroom first chance he got. Did he realise how shit that made you feel? Like you weren’t worried already…

You were still lying there when he came back, lost in thought but too scared to bring it up. Expressing feelings didn’t seem to be your forte, and that was okay when you were both on the same page. Now it seemed like one of you had lost it. But you didn’t know which one.

“Your turn,” he said, in his defence a little lighter than previously, a slight smile on his face as he jumped into bed. He turned to face you, running his hand down your arm, and thankfully he kissed you. It was only small, but it was enough. Maybe you were being stupid. Worried for nothing, expecting too much. “Quick,” he urged. “You’ll get cold butt naked like that.” You giggled and listened, sitting up to grab your pyjamas.

When you came back from the bathroom, Yoongi was curled up on his side, face hidden by the covers. You quietly crept over to the bed, full intentions of just getting inside too and curling behind him, but that was easier said than done. You wanted to just talk with him and it was still early. Ask him how his day had been. You didn’t have much time earlier, he was getting you naked before you could wonder how he was. Yeah, pillow talk would be nice. Especially now that you were feeling happier.

“Yoongi,” you whispered, hands on his shoulders. You waited in the silence. “Yoongs.” You sung quietly, shaking him a little.

He groaned, voice sounding muffled by the pillow. “What do you want?”

You lifted your shoulder, kissing his cheek. “To cuddle…talk…”

“I’m tired,” he sighed.

You nuzzled into his neck as best you could, wrapping your arm around his middle. You knew he was exhausted after practice, but what you wanted him for wouldn’t take a lot of energy. “I just want to cuddle you.” You hoped you sounded cute.

“Please stop being so annoying.”

It had the opposite effect. Maybe he didn’t mean to sound curt, but you couldn’t help but take it the wrong way. You pulled away from him instantly. “You think I’m annoying?” You asked. “Thanks.” You didn’t want the wobble in your voice, but it was there anyway.

“Oh, come on,” he exclaimed, turning to face you, immediately sensing the tone to your voice. “Don’t get mad over that.” He had the nerve to sound bemused, like he couldn’t understand why you were so offended. You turned your back to him, staring at the opposite wall, trying to ignore the buzz in your head. Confrontation was a new one for you guys.

You felt him move closer, the mattress dipping. He said your name. “Of course you’d be annoying if you’re trying to keep me awake.”

That didn’t cut it. It wasn’t just the comment. Under normal circumstances it wouldn’t have even bothered you. He’d probably called you annoying before, but tonight it was different. There was a weight to his words. Another meaning. The fleeting hope you’d had earlier was now torn to pieces. Nothing had changed. Well, something had changed. That was the issue. Everything you’d built together was slipping away. You couldn’t ignore it any longer.

You twisted around suddenly, sitting up to stare at him. “You know, if you were so tired you could’ve just not come over tonight.”

He frowned, shaking his head as he laughed in disbelief. It made you angrier. He probably thought you were overreacting. “Or, better yet. How come you’re too tired to talk and just lay with me but not too tired to have sex with me?!”

Your apartment was beginning to feel suffocating. The words were out, you couldn’t take them back. Yoongi and you had never had an argument. Not in all these months. Now you were on your second in just two weeks. You were scared because all the worries you’d had lately were spilling out of you. You couldn’t stop them. You hadn’t even let yourself think them properly, so it was just as eye opening for you as it was for him. You were shocked at yourself.

He stared at you, expression hardening. For a minute you thought maybe he was about to help you out. To explain why things had felt so different since the party, but instead he shot you down. “It’s not that deep.” He sighed, two arms folding behind his head as he leant against the headboard. “You’re overthinking everything.”

“No, don’t do that.” You said flatly. He refused to look at you. “Don’t make it seem like I’m the problem?” You would not have him make you believe you were just imagining all this. Why couldn’t he just acknowledge something was up. You hated pretended, and that’s exactly what he was doing right now.

“You’re the one making the problem!” He exploded, raising his hands up in the air in bafflement, but still making sure to keep his voice down. That just infuriated you even more. “We can talk tomorrow. What’s so urgent? Fuck.” He kicked back his head as he cursed, this time a lot louder. The bed frame shook a little.

You were shocked by his outburst, but did he really not understand at all? Why was he pretending nothing was wrong, when he knew more than you. He was the one who had changed. He was the one acting so strange, doing things out of character. This wasn’t the relationship you once had. Why couldn’t he admit that? What had changed and when?

The silence ballooned around you and then you were speaking again. Your words heavy, sinking. “I feel like you’re only into me when we have sex.” Your heart was beating with the realisation. Now that you were letting it out, it wouldn’t stop. This was how you felt. Since when? You had no clue.

Yoongi stared at you like he couldn’t believe it, but you stayed calm, not breaking eye contact until he scoffed and looked away. “Now you’re turning it on me.”

“How?” You demanded. He couldn’t be outright ignoring your feelings.

“I’m only into you when we’re having sex?” He wondered, but you didn’t think it was a question he wanted you to explain. He was visibly agitated now, words cramped like he was trying quickly to get them out. “If I remember correctly I thought I wasn’t enough for you.”

“What the hell?” You cried, shocked by his accusation. “Yoongi…” Where had he gotten that from?

“Are you never happy?” He wasn’t listening, nor stopping. There was a bite to his voice you’d never heard before. It contorted his face. Made him look different. “Even after everything. Even after fucking both me and him.”

The room was spinning. Your head dizzy. Yoongi’s words swirling around unable to stop. You couldn’t speak. He saw that, eyes widening as his expression softened. “I’m sorry.” He realised what he’d said, but it was too late. The damage was done. “I didn’t mean that. Shit,” he muttered under his breath, rubbing his face with his palms.

You couldn’t be here. Near him. Not when he’d said such an insulting thing so flippantly. It made you feel gross. Like what you’d done had dirtied you. Is that what he really thought? Almost like you were greedy, uncaring, immoral.

You bolted. There was no where for you to go, apartment so tiny there was only one room you could hide. The bathroom. “No. Wait—” He tried to stop you, reaching out, but you didn’t give him a chance to. “I didn’t mean—”

His voice became muffled when you slammed the door shut behind you, visibly shaking as you pressed your back up against it. You couldn’t make out why you were so upset. Your head was a mess. He’d stayed quiet for so long, and for what? Had he always thought like that? When did he get so resentful? When he’d said those words they were filled with bitterness. How was that possible? After everything that had happened two weeks ago? You needed answers. You deserved answers.

You were storming out of the bathroom before you could blink, back towards the bed. So mad you felt unstoppable. “Is that what you really think?”

He was lying down again, staring up at the ceiling one hand against his forehead. That made you angrier. He should have followed you. He groaned your name, sitting up as you came nearer. “I said I’m sorry. Let’s just forget about what I said. Come here.” He outstretched his hand, voice gentle, filled with regret, but it was too late. “Let’s talk,” he suggested.

You scoffed. Like that wasn’t what you’d wanted all evening. “Yeah. Let’s talk. Let’s talk about how you asked for another threesome not even two weeks ago! How care you turn it all on me!”

His eyes flashed, hardening his features as he gritted out, “you know I was drunk!”

“No.” You shook your head, indignant. ‘That doesn’t cut it, Yoongi.” You were sick of him not telling you how he felt. You were sick of walking around pretending you were oblivious. Granted, this wasn’t how you wanted it to go, but it was too late now. You’d yell the place down if you didn’t get a straight answer.

“I let you just brush it off, but I want answers,” you demanded, voice breaking as you stomped your foot and clenched your fists. Maybe childishly, but you didn’t care. You were so frustrated. “I deserve fucking answers. I’m your girlfriend, for crying out loud!”

He shook his head slightly, looking down at his lap as he muttered. “I told you. I was drunk.”

Shit. You didn’t want to cry. You really didn’t. But everything had escalated so much you were finding it hard to hold your tears back. Funny thing was, you’d never been much of a crier until recently. Maybe you were weak. When faced with reality it was all you could do. Still, you held it in as best you could, sitting on the edge of your bed, back turned to Yoongi.

You spoke to the wall, voice tiny. “What’s wrong with us?” You were exhausted. Worn out from the night’s events. But really when you thought about it, what had you expected? If you were both so hellbent on pretending, it was all bound to blow up soon enough. Something told you that you should’ve had this conversation two weeks ago. When he’d arrived at your doorstep with his apology. But you both were too afraid, and now it had come to this. You prayed you could work it out.

“Something feels like it’s missing and I don’t know what…” You didn’t even know when it became missing. It all happened so fast.

He murmured your name. It didn’t sound good. Reminded you of the time your parents had to tell you your dog died. “I’m sorry,” he continued. The mattress dipped as he moved closer to you, but you still couldn’t look at him. Your eyes were blurry as you still stared at the wall. “It’s all on me.”

It’s not you, it’s me. God, was he really going for that right now? It was always that. How many times had a guy told you that with fake sincerity? Yoongi wasn’t supposed to be like them. He was different. He was the one who made you feel all giddy inside. Made you smile, made you laugh. He was the one who encouraged you to quit Wendy’s and take a chance at fashion retail. He was the one who hugged you from behind and kissed your cheek when he missed you. He was your first proper relationship. You felt the difference that night in bed when he suggested you become exclusive. This bed you were sitting on now. In such a short amount of time things had changed. Was it always supposed to be like this? You felt fooled.

“I just..I…” He trailed off, finding it difficult to continue. You heard him swallow. “This isn’t working out the way I wanted it to. The way I thought it would.”

You sniffed loudly, a tear running down your cheek and you acted quickly to brush it away. Okay, that was a new one. You didn’t get what he meant. Especially because everything had been fine for you. You felt his hand on your shoulder, urging you to turn and look at him. “Hey…” He said gently. “Come on, look at me.”

He sounded like Yoongi, the Yoongi you were used to. So it was hard not to listen. You slowly turned and were met with his face. His eyes looked sorry, eyes glistening a little, and you knew then that this was hurting him too. He wasn’t like those other guys. It wasn’t an excuse. He probably hadn’t wanted to hurt you. That’s why he’d kept quiet, but he couldn’t hide it well.

You sniffed again, determined to keep your tears at bay. “Is it. Is it because of what happened between Jin?” You stopped and started. “I’m sorry if it is.”

You didn’t have it in you to feel embarrassed or awkward. The zero acknowledgment had made you question a lot, but if this was going to end, you wanted Yoongi to be truthful.

“No,” he shook his head, adamant. “No, it’s not because of that.” He reached for your face. His touch was still so gentle. You wanted to close your eyes, to relish in it, but it wasn’t right. It wasn’t the same. “Not really.” He continued. “And it’s definitely not your fault.” He stressed. “I wanted that to happen. I pretty much instigated it. I enjoyed it, and for a while I really thought it helped us, but…” He tilted his head, eyes searching your face. “Isn’t that kinda fucked up?”

It was funny to look back now. To see things in a new light. If you were so happy together why would you have needed that threesome? It had been a sign more than anything. A bad omen.

But you couldn’t believe that. What you felt for Yoongi was real. Your happiness was real. It was just your thoughts were messed up. Scrambled. The threesome had happened because you had a history with Seokjin. Nothing else. It hadn’t happened because there were underlying problems in your relationship with Yoongi… It couldn’t have been that. How would you explain all the moments of bliss?

“But we were happy,” you almost whimpered, holding onto his hands that cupped your face.

“We were,” he smiled sadly. “It’s all my fault.”

You wanted to ask him why, but your tongue wouldn’t work. The use of past tense was too much. You’d even used it too. He answered without being asked anyway.

“I can’t fall in love with you.” He sounded a little lost. A little confused. A little sorry. “It should’ve happened by now. I was so sure you were the one.”

“Oh, my god,” you uttered in complete shock, lifting your hands from his. You moved your head, trying to make him let go of you. Somehow you hadn’t been expecting that. Or at least, you hadn’t been expecting such a frank confession from Yoongi. Maybe he also realised it was time to be truthful. The pain in your chest couldn’t handle it though.

He held onto your face, desperate to keep you looking at him. Desperate to make you understand. “I care about you so much. Everything about us was real. Is real. I just… We’ve hit a wall and I don’t know how to make it better.”

His voice was beginning to sound weird now. Hoarse and wobbly. This wasn’t fair. Why did this have to be happening? You’d thought the same thing two weeks ago. Hit a wall. How could you be mad at him when deep down you knew he was right? But still, you didn’t want to let go…

You wrapped your fingers around one of his wrists, looking up at him, eyes begging. “Can’t you just give it time?” You didn’t care if Yoongi didn’t love you right now. You knew you’d been thinking about it lately. Wondering when it would happen, but it didn’t matter. You could wait. He was putting pressure on himself. You didn’t care about that stuff. Never had. You just wanted him.

The side of his mouth twitched, face sad as one hand moved to your shoulder, squeezing it gently. He looked you straight in the eyes. “Do you love me?”

His question took you by surprise. No answer came. You were panicking. Not expecting the mental block. You’d been so preoccupied with him taking the lead, wanting him to confess his feelings, that you’d just taken yours for granted. “I–I…” You stammered, racking your brains for an appropriate way to explain. “I’ve never been in love before. I don’t know what it feels like.” How would you know? How could you be sure?

He smiled but there was no happiness with it. His voice was light when he spoke, gentle, soft…like he was comforting you. “Baby, that’s a no.”

You blinked a few times, processing his words. You didn’t love him? You were so confused. “If you felt it, you’d know it,” he carried on. You shook your head, intent on fighting him, but one look at his face and you shut your mouth. He was correct. You wouldn’t be confused if you loved him for real. His thumb caressed your face. “It’s okay. I know you care about me too, but sometimes it’s just better to let go.”

Let go? You didn’t want to. Yoongi was the best thing that had ever happened to you. This was a relationship, like none of the other shit you’d been in before. Guys who called you their girlfriend but hadn’t cared about you. Yes, maybe you didn’t love Yoongi yet, but that would come in due time. Why was he so hellbent on giving up? It was as if he knew something you didn’t.

“Maybe it will take some more time,” you said quietly.

He pulled his hands away from you, making some distance. You knew then there was no more time. “I think,” he began, pausing as he tried to find the right words. “I think the circumstances just aren’t working out of us.”

Maybe he was correct. Maybe this was it. Maybe this was always supposed to end.

“Without love we’re just two friends having sex, and I don’t want that,” he said truthfully. You frowned. That was the complete opposite of what you’d wanted with Yoongi. It was the complete opposite of what he wanted too. It was what you’d had with Seokjin.

Yoongi was saying he would never fall in love with you, for whatever reason, and maybe you would never love him either. That was still a grey area. You were only now realising the reality of the situation.

“I don’t want to lose you from my life, but if we keep pretending, that’s what’s gonna happen.” He said after a pause.

“But I’m going to lose you anyway,” you said, voice whiny, desperate. You reached for his hands. He didn’t pull away.

“You won’t.” He shook his head, letting you link your fingers with his. His hands were warm, like they usually were, but they didn’t bring you comfort. “I want us to be friends. It may take some time, but I promise you, it’ll happen. You mean too much to me for this all to have been for nothing.”

Friends? After all this? That seemed difficult to imagine. Not even an hour ago he’d been your boyfriend. You had not pictured that changing, despite knowing something was weird between you. Your brain couldn’t cope with the whiplash.

“I hate knowing I made you feel like shit.” He said, voice low. “I wasn’t doing it on purpose. I wasn’t using you. I just… I’m sorry for everything. I should’ve said something as soon as I was having doubts, but I was so determined to make it work for us… If I could click my fingers and go back to how things were in the beginning, I would with no hesitation.”

You let his words sink in, getting more and more frustrated. It wasn’t fair. He was telling you things hadn’t worked out as he thought they would, and that just made it worse. Everything that was, everything that could have been. It was a horrible feeling.

He slowly began to drag his fingers from yours. You used all your might not to squeeze them tight. “The other week… I was drunk,” he started, sounding ashamed. You froze, knowing what was coming. The explanation. You were so scared. He sighed. You’d never heard him sound so afflicted. “I just…I wanted everything to go back to how things were. I thought another…” He groaned, unable to say it out loud. But you understood perfectly. “I thought it would cancel things out.”

“So what happened is the problem,” you stressed, lifting your hands to your head. How could he say it wasn’t. Before the threesome everything had been fine.

Maybe it was all your fault. Why couldn’t you have just left Seokjin in the past? Why had he been lingering in the back of your mind? Still was… After everything, and now even recently, you had to physically quash thoughts of him. All the worry and anxiety over your relationship with Yoongi had made you weak, confused. And now to learn it was also the downfall to everything was awful.

“No. No. It isn’t.” Yoongi shook his head, reaching for you. He hugged you tight. You tried to fight it but you couldn’t. You wanted his arms around you. You wanted to feel him. To smell him. You wanted him. Your mind was adamant, but your chest felt weird. He pulled away after a minute or so, cupping your face once again. It was getting harder to hold back your tears. His eyes still glistened. But he was stronger than you. He wouldn’t cry.

“I realised this would’ve happened either way.” What did that mean? That these past few months were pointless? A waste of energy. A strain on your heart. He looked into your eyes, like he was searching for something. Or maybe urging you to realise something. To realise the same? You didn’t want to. He exhaled softly, kissing the top of your forehead. You shut your eyes as he did so, hearing his voice fill your ears. “There’s something missing. Something in the way. That’s how life works out sometimes.”

He pulled away, but you clung to him, lifting your mouth to reach his. “Yoongi,” you murmured, praying he wouldn’t pull away. He didn’t. He kissed you back gently. Each graze of his lips numbing you. You wanted to change his mind. Even if he was correct, you wanted him to be wrong. You broke apart first. “I don’t want us to break up,” you pleaded, fists gripping his t-shirt.

“It has to happen.” He urged, pressing his forehead against yours. “It’s for the best.” You both fell into silence, chests rising together, breathing together. You couldn’t change his mind. You needed to accept that. He kissed your forehead again, pulling back slowly. “I’ll go…”

“Please don’t,” you asked, tugging him tighter. This time the tears fell. Hot and thick down your cheeks, voice breaking, turning high pitched. Couldn’t he just stay for tonight? Hold you as you slept? You weren’t ready to let go so suddenly. You needed time.

“Don’t cry,” he told you, wiping the tears from your face. You swallowed loudly, trying to get ahold of yourself. “I’m not worth it,” he smiled softly, voice lowering as he continued. “Besides, I think you’re crying because deep down you know this is the right thing to do.”

That stopped the tears. Made you think. He had to be wrong, but then…why did his words comfort you?

He took the opportunity to stand from the bed, saying your name softly. “Get some sleep. I’ll call you tomorrow. We can talk some more. I mean it,” he urged, making you look up at him. “I care about you a lot and I want us to be friends once things are okay.”

The next few minutes were a blur. You think you agreed, nodding, stretching a smile across your face. He moved slowly, stopping a few times to look back at you as he walked to the door, slipping his sneakers on, grabbing his keys. He said goodbye. The door closed behind him. You couldn’t say it back. You heard his car start. You heard him pull away, and then he was gone and it was quiet again. Your tiny apartment was deathly silently. So silent it felt deafening. What a horrible feeling.

You didn’t know how long you sat on your bed in the same position. Perched on the edge, arms getting cold until goosebumps appeared. You should get under the covers, try to get some sleep like Yoongi said, but you couldn’t stop thinking, and the sheets would only smell of him.

Too many thoughts in your head. Too many words. How come everything had collapsed so quickly? So suddenly? This whole time you’d wanted Yoongi to be open and honest with you. You knew something had been playing on his mind, but it wasn’t this. Never this.

He didn’t love you. Couldn’t love you. Those were his words. Was there something wrong with you? Nobody had ever confessed their love for you. Yoongi was the closest. That night you’d had sex for the first time. You were so happy. Lying in your bed, this bed. He’d told you he really liked you. He was nervous because he didn’t think you liked him back. He had been cautious back then. He knew about Seokjin. Seokjin. No. You couldn’t think of him right now.

But… How come out of every guy you’d ever been involved with, he was the only one that had never hurt you. The list was pretty long. Starting with your first boyfriend at seventeen and ending now, with Yoongi. Yes, it had hurt him too, but you didn’t want to acknowledge that right now. Yoongi was supposed to be different. You’d been in relationships in the past, called guys your boyfriend, but with Yoongi it was just different. He was quiet and kind. Laid back. Funny. Easy going. You felt at ease with him. Enough to relax and just open up. You let yourself be happy. Finally feeling like you deserved this one, even if sometimes it felt like he was too nice for you. That was just your doubts. Life was finally fitting together.

People never understood how sensitive you were. You hid it well. You hid a lot of things. Even from yourself. You hid your emotions. You hid your thoughts. So much so, you’d always prided yourself on not being a deep thinker. You acted recklessly sometimes. But never with Yoongi. You thought long and hard before getting into something serious with him. You hadn’t wanted to hurt him. To lead him on.

How ironic. Despite believing him tonight, feeling the devastation in his words, you still felt betrayed and hurt. Yoongi wasn’t supposed to make you feel like this, but yet here you were. Rethinking every little thing in your relationship. Trying to find where it had all gone wrong. When he’d realised he didn’t, and would never love you… You remembered the looks you’d find him giving you sometimes. Lost in thought. Now it all made sense. His eyes were sad. You hadn’t realised before. He was sad. He was sad because he didn’t love you.

Love. Once again you were reminded of what bullshit it was. Why had you been so desperate and impatient for Yoongi to make such a confession. Was it because you’d never been in a relationship this long before? You think you thought it was because you believed he was the one. If you could imagine your life with anyone, it would be a Yoongi. So you’d waited for each stage of a long term relationship. A love confession was one of the main things. You hadn’t given much thought on if you loved him too. That just made you feel stupider. How deluded you’d been. Deluded and desperate for nothing. Somehow Yoongi could read you like a book. He knew you didn’t love him either. How?

However, he also knew tonight would hurt. He knew it would be hard. It was probably half the reason he was ignoring it. That, and wishing it would go away. It was funny how you both wished things could go back to how they’d been. How disastrous if it was all falling to pieces already.

Maybe you just weren’t cut out for relationships. Seokjin flitted through your mind again. That one had worked well. It was probably because it wasn’t a proper relationship. All you’d been was sex. But it had worked so well. You were happy then too. It was a different kind of happy. More relaxed than anything. Seokjin and you were happy together but you didn’t necessarily make one another happy. You couldn’t imagine Seokjin kissing you or hugging you like Yoongi had, make you giggle as he tickled you…

Fuck. Why were you doing this again? Comparing them. Using memories you had with Yoongi and trying to imagine them with Jin. It was stupid and didn’t make sense. You were confused and didn’t want to be alone, and in the solitude of your apartment, one thing was painfully clear. Yes, there was only one guy out there who had never hurt you in any way.

You looked at the clock, it wasn’t even 11pm. Still early. You knew you couldn’t spend the whole night like this. You’d never get to sleep. Your mind was racing. You needed to talk to someone. Lina would be the best person for the job. Your best friend. But that wasn’t whose apartment you showed up at…

It wasn’t until you were on his doorstep, ringing the doorbell did you begin to rethink your decision. What did you look like? You’d thrown some clothes on but hadn’t cleaned your face, the tears from earlier now dried around your eyes. This was stupid. You couldn’t just turn up at his place so late. What were you looking for? He didn’t want a crying girl on his shoulder looking for comfort… But it was too late. He was already opening the door, and your urgency to see him glowed even harder in your chest.

Seokjin looked confused as he came into view, probably wondering who it was. Knowing him he was probably wishing he’d brought a knife with him. You know, in case it was an intruder. Because intruders knocked doors before the burgled or murdered you, didn’t everyone know that?

His eyes widened when he saw you, freezing on the spot. He was a whole different kind of confused now, uttering your name questioningly. He took in your appearance, stopping on your face. Yeah, you looked like shit. He frowned, sounding worried when he spoke again. “What’s wrong?”

You sniffed loudly, feeling the chill from the night’s air, and tried your best to at least give him a smile. It was not believable. Nor did it answer anything.

“Hi, can I come in?”

Written 2019. Reworked/Edited 2020 Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2020

#yoongi smut #yoongi fanfic #bts fanfic #jin fanfic #bts smut #floralseokjin:writings #fic:crystallised

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