#wesker eats bees

[just--a-lurker]

It's me again, "Wesker shot the bee!" anon. I did it, I finally finished re1 original game with both Chris and Jill routes and became the resident evil. 

Turned out Wesker did in fact killed more than one bee. It looked like he killed only one like I mentioned before because I played rebirth mode first, the exclusive mode in DS port, where one ded bee was shown. But when I switched to classic mode, classic mode is like the first version of ps1 or something idk, Wesker shot at least three bees. For some reason rebirth mode made Wesker look less competent at bee murder. But in whichever mode he's still dumb for shooting the bees. The bees in game are annoying because they potentially could give me poison if they sting me. But even so, they are avoidable all the time, not worth to spend bullets on them, and they dealt little damage if they stung me. Wesker wasted bullets to kill the bees just.because.

Asides from bee murder, Wesker seemed a bit nicer to Jill in her route. Instead of cocky "This is the ultimate lifeform, Tyrant!" line for Chris, he did a longer monologue about his Tyrant fetish to Jill when he showed it to her and didn't tell her to "go to hell" like he did with Chris. Probably 'cause Jill is more patient with his bullshit compared to Chris and she at least didn't laugh at his ultimate lifeform lol (don't mean to sound shippy here). Oh and Wesker in original was less aggressive than in remake. He never hit Chris or Jill when they insulted him

Pookie shot three (3) bees!!! We're so proud of him!! He is officially the B.O.W slayer!!

The little differences in all the re1 ports are actually kind of amazing. What a strange reason to show less dead bees. Maybe a developer on the ps1 port liked bees a lot (Wesker definitely cheers on the extinction of bees because they're mildly annoying to him, and his grasp on anything outside of virology is.. tenuous). Classic Wesker is starving from not eating those other 2 dead bees, this is why he's so evil.

Headcanon: when Wesker was ranting about anything while he was in S.T.A.R.S, Chris not-so-subtly made fun of him about it the entire time, while Jill listened at first. And then made fun of him (subtly).

Wesker's tyrant fetish 😭😭

[piers-wifey]

Imagine going on a camping trip with the S.T.A.R.S. squad

Because I love camping and the idea of them going camping is feckin hilarious. Imma put this under a cut because I got a bit carried away.

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* Wesker is the driver and in charge of the music and the pee breaks. He also insist that he doesn't need a navigation system because and I quote: "My sense of direction is excellent and I don't need a computer to tell me what to do. Neither do I need a card."

* Barry is his co-pilot and always checks if there are any road works along the way and provides Wesker with coffee and some Aspirins. I mean come on, he has to deal with a bunch of manchildren while driving. Of course he's going to have a headache

* Kenneth and Enrico are 'in charge' of keeping the kids *ahem* other team mates quiet or entertained. Kenneth; however, is wearing ear plugs and sleeping like a baby and Enrico, who's also wearing ear plugs, is reading a book

* Brad is the reason why the trip takes way longer than planned (much to anyone elses and especially Weskers annoyance). Hey, don't blame him. He has a weak bladder and it's not his fault that he needs a little break every thirty minutes

* The RV does have a toilet, but no one is allowed to use it. Wesker wants to give the vehicle back in perfect condition and without having to clean it first. Plus, the amount of unhealthy food Chris and the others are consuming has him concerned for his olfactory cells

* Chris and Forest 'entertain' the whole group with their terrible, improvised travel songs and an even more terrible version of Macarena. The only word they know is "Macarena". The rest is just incoherent nonsense

* At one point Wesker pulled over and threatened to kick them both out and leave them tied to a tree until the vacation is over if they don't shut up

* They do stop their terrible singing, but peace and quiet was never an option in the first place and so the boys decide to annoy Wesker by asking: "Are we there yet?" every five to ten minutes. Like a bunch of little kids, but let's be honest here, that's exactly what they are

* Rebecca, who brought her Walkman with her because she knew that it was gonna be a loud trip, listens to Rammstein and AC/DC to help her ignore Chris' and Forest's constant nagging

* Joseph is just sitting in the back and eating. Traveling makes him hungry and who could say no to a bag of hot cheetos?

* Jill is sound asleep most of the time and only wakes up to Chris and Forest 'singing' the Macarena song. Which earns both of them a punch to the face. Much to Weskers satisfaction and amusement

* Edward and Richard sit in the upper part of the RV and have a quiet game of black jack, far away from the chaos that's happening below them. Jill and Becca later join them

~ After the arrival ~

* After the loud and nerve wrecking car ride, followed by a long and equally stressful search for the perfect spot, it's finally time to kick the others out to get the tents ready

* And while the others are outside to get everything ready, Wesker takes the chance to take a power nap to recharge his batteries

* But much to his annoyance, his little break gets interrupted by a screaming Brad (I mean, who else if not Brad "Chickenheart" Vickers?)

* When Wesker leaves the RV, he's not at all surprised to see Brad fighting off a swarm of bees while Joseph is lying on the ground, wrestling with his tent. He doesn't even bother to stop Chris and Forest, who are having some sort of 'sword fight' with some sticks they found in the nearby woods. He just shakes his head and gets back in the vehicle. Leaving both teams to themselves, while he regrets every single life decision he has ever made that led to this vacation

* Barry and Enrico, who happen to be the most experienced when it comes to camping, help the others with their tents. Poor Joseph really needs it

* Jill is lying in her tent and taking another well deserved nap

* Richard and Kenneth inflate the mattresses while Edward is inside making snacks for everyone. Brad helps him

* Later, when everything is done and everyone has calmed down, both teams sit around the campfire to roast some marshmallows and tell scary stories. Jill's and Enrico's stories are the most scariest and gruesome anyone has ever heard. Poor Brad almost had a heart attack when Forest snuck up behind him and tapped his shoulder

* The only one who isn't affected by Jill's stories is Wesker (what a surprise)

* Richard and Chris get the most mosquito bites of them all. They have a total of 116 bites

* Barry brought a polaroid camera with him to take as many pictures as possible

* Kenneth's new nickname is "Slug Discoverer". Because every time he leaves his tent to go to the toilet, he steps on at least one. And every time he does, he curses loudly

* One time when they were at a nearby lake, Chris got attacked by a group of geese. One of them aimed for his nuts. That was the first and last time anyone saw him run that fast. Unfortunately for him, Barry was able to capture this hilarious moment on camera. And now everyone wants a copy of that photo

* Every morning, their camp is flooded by wild animals. Birds, moles, mice, a pair of squirrels and even a small group of geese. No one knows why until Edward points out that he has seen Joseph feed the animals with cookies. He's not allowed to touch the fridge anymore, unless someone is with him. But the animals still keep coming back

* Wesker has lost count of how many times he had to remove spiders and bugs from the tents and sleeping bags. He even considered ignoring the horrified screams of his teammates at one point, but then he remembers that one time in the S.T.A.R.S. office when Forest used a lighter and a deodorant to get rid of a bug that was flying around in the office and immediately pushes the thought aside and decides to 'come to the rescue'

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Tag list: @thatgoblin @bsaa-bitch @ravenrune @that-one-random-simp @albertweskerxchrisredfield @aurorapink10 @mirandawesker @sevythebeanqueen @dagrans @eviltothecore13 @liliththebaroness

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

Commission for my lovely @vickers-n-lickers. 

Pair: Brad Vickers x Lady Dimistrescu

Prompt: Brad goes on a blind date: It’s Lady D

Warnings: nothing. 

-> It took weeks to convince Brad to go on a date. The poor lad got his heart broken and was wasting his youth on a couch while sobbing at romantic comedies. Joseph, Richard, Forest and Chris made huge efforts (and even payed some cute cops to compliment him) to make Brad to come out of his shell.

-> As they were scrolling for escorts, they found an ad for dating. They weren’t ready to sacrifice his dignity just yet, so they pressed on the ad and they made Brad an account. They took a photo from his driver license (he was skinnier in there but they couldn’t get an actual photo of him) and they put it on his profile, alongside a cheesy description about how he likes to take long walks on a beach, etc. To their surprise, and happiness, he got many hits and messages. Turns out many ladies are interested in pilots. 

-> wesker saw them struggling to scan something at the printer , but he knew that going there might be a mistake, so he took another sip of his black coffee, just as his soul, and walked away, pulling back his sunglasses on the bridge of his nose. 

-> the time has come and the boys found the perfect lady for Brad. They kept it a secret most of the day, until Richard broke the ice. 

“Hey Vickers, whatcha doing Friday night?”

“Uhm - nothing much. Why?”

“You got a date pal.” 

-> Barry watched from the back of his office as the 5 of them were arguing, and how Brad was yelling “you’re stepping in my personal life” and other things. The man carried on eating his sandwich. They asked if they wanted to be a part of this, his life experience could be useful, but he kindly denied their offer. It’s the last thing he wanted to do, to be caught in some boy’s drama. 

“Look at you, you gained weight! You’re gonna crash the helicopter in the next mission you fat-ass!” Forest yelled back. 

“Brad, look, what Forest is trying to say” Chris elbowed him ���is that you let yourself go. You need a new start, you need to let go of the past. We care about you and without you we ain’t a team. We need our pilot back”

-> They words were vivid in his memory as he was watching his own reflection in the poor illuminated bathroom. Even in the dim light, he still looked like a car hit him. He traced with his fingers the eye bags from underneaths his eyes, then he let the hand to fall on his torso and took a good portion of his skin between his fingers. He let himself go, and it was time to become himself again. 

-> He got himself a new suit because the old ones were tight. The boys had to pick him up, out of courtesy, but mostly to make sure he wasn’t going to run away. 

->”It’s going to be ok Brad” Richard said on their way to the restaurant. Brad was already sweating in the backseat of the car, beeing squeezed between Chris and Joseph. Of course all of them had to come. “She is some kind of nobility, from Europe. You’re gonna like her, just don’t be yourself.” 

“RICHARD!” All of them yelled. 

“Have you memorised the papers that we gave?” The boys made a fake profile and added more traits that even Brad wasn’t aware of, so they ended up making him to memorise them. Brad nodded. 

“Everything is going to be fine.” Chris wrapped an arm around Brad’s shoulders, pulling him in a shy hug. “Trust your brothers.”

->They picked a fancy place, because even if Brad was the subject of their daily mockery, they truly cared about him. 

“Remember the lines.” Forest whispered before pushing Brad to the entrance. 

Forest wanted to make a mean remark, but Chris pulled him quickly to their car. 

-> Brad was stunned by the place. The decorations, the tables, the food, it all looked like it was pulled out from a Renaissance painting. A member of the staff pulled him out of his state, asking if he has a reservation. 

“Vickers…” was all he could say while gazing at the incredible golden chandeliers. 

“This way please. Your partner is already here.” 

->Now the pressure of being late was pressing harder over his existent anxiety.

As he was getting squished between tables and hurried waiters, he could feel his heart rate increasing. He never asked the guys more about this lady, how did she looked or what she liked. He knew nothing. There was a figure who stood out, a very tall woman.

-> The waiter was leading him to her direction. She wore a black, long dress with open back that emphasised her curves, as well as a big hat that covered her face. Her frame was huge and it was obvious she was some sort of giant. 

“Hello there, sorry for being late.” The mysterious woman raised her head to look at the man in front of her. He was all red and nervous, not her usual type, but he had his charm. She raised her gloved hand to shake his, then Brad took a sit. 

“I���m Brad by the way.”

“Alcina. It’s nice to finally meet you Brad.” 

-> Brad got a close look at her. She was indeed very beautiful, and not what he expected. He thought she would be the typical rich countess who looks down at anyone, but she actually treated Brad as her equal and was willing to hear about his job even if it wasn’t her field. She listened closely as he talked about engines and what does it mean to be a pilot, asking for details where she interested. No other woman looked at him the way she did, and it made Brad more nervous. Her posture didn’t help him to release anxiety either, even when sitting she was very tall and belittle Brad without her knowing that. Brad had to look up constantly. 

“I own a wine bussines as well, but I think you already knew that.”

“Yeah, of course” Brad cursed in his mind because this information wasn’t in the papers and he had to improvise. “I haven’t heard about your wine here, do you sell it only in Europe?”

“I don’t think you Americans are ready for my wine just yet.” 

“You must be rich.” This escaped Brad’s mouth without him wanting it. Alcina looked at him straight in the eyes and Brad thought this was the end, but he relaxed when she started laughing. 

“Yes, Im not alone in this bussines anyways. My family helps.”

“Didn’t mean to step in your life like that. My apologies, it’s been a while since…” 

Alcina cut him off “It’s fine, besides you are cute when you struggle to make a good first impression. Just be yourself.”

“This is actually what my friends didn’t advise me to haha.”

-> the boys watched the two of them laughing and enjoying the time spent together.

“Guess Brad wasn’t the only one who lied in his profile. This woman is 6ft. my ass.”

“Shut up Richard, he has a good time, let him be.” Chris said.

“Is it even possible? What do they eat in Europe?”

“Wanna grow a few inches shortie? Go ask her.”

“Both of you shut up.” Chris yelled at them. 

-> Alcina pressed her palm over Brad, the warm of her hand making Brad dizzy. A beautiful woman was into him, no, a rich, nobile, woman was into him. 

“You know, I would like to taste your wine.”

“I would like to taste you.” 

-> If Brad wasn’t so dizzy, he could swear he saw her tongue going over the red top lip. 

“I-“

“I have some wine in my apartment, we can pay and then go there.”

“S-sure”

-> Being the gentleman he is, he payed the whole bill, even if he just went bankrupt that night. The boys saw the two of them walking out of the restaurant. Brad was a dwarf compared to her, and she needed to bend over a little to get through the door. Brad reached just above her bellybutton. 

“Well, that’s a nice spot.”

“Shut the fuck up Richard, he’s getting action.” Chris said while fixating the two of them. 

“You think so, Chris?”

“Look at the dumb smile on his face, and at her predatory expression.”

“Ya right.” 

-> They watched as the two of them ordered a cab, and then they disappeared into the city. Brad was in good hands, he didn’t need their support anymore. 

[viruxlent]

Omg! I want to know all about Albert Wesker with this "Animal Habit/Attribute Headcanons" thing!😣 I can't choose!

aaaaa (i wanna kno who cares so much abt my shitty wesker) but ok anon here u go and thank u wheeze

(Wolf) - How good is your sense of smell?I hc because both viruses he has are shoddy and full of animal genes it’s prob pretty dang good tbh.

(Tiger) - Do you have fangs? Claws? Any dangerous body parts?HE DOES his canine teeth are more fangy than normal but its only evident when he smiles.

(Leopard) - How would you hunt/kill prey without any special abilities/weapons?I dunno I guess with traps or something. He’s a smarticle particle.

(Horse) - Do you run on two legs or all four? How fast do you think you would be if you did the opposite?I can’t see him doing all-fours that’s too ridiculous even for him lol.

(Sheep) - How does your fur/skin/scales/feathers feel to the touch?Skin soft af

(Elephant) - How good is your vision? Can you see in the dark?He can see good enough even in pitch blackness, and he can sense heat sources (idk what that’s called).

(Bear) - How often do you listen to your primal instincts? Do good or bad things happen when you do?Did you mean “everything that’s ever gone wrong in his life is because he has no fucking self control”?

(Koala) - How do you sleep? Do you hang upside down, curl up like a dog, or even stretch out like a cat?Aaaa I guess whatever would be more comfy maybe curled on his side with a bunch of blankets. Tho I bet in the gameverse he prob just crashes on whatever couch is around for the 8 hours a week he sleeps HAAHAH

(Panda) - Is there a specific plant you like to eat?PEOPLE CAN’T EAT PLANTS

(Dog) - Do you have a secret spot that you really love to be pet?Head pat and u have to say he’s a good boi

(Cat) - Any irregular places you like to nap/tend to fall asleep in?Anyplace warm idk

(Pig) - Would you fight another wild animal to the death for food?He would and he has.

(Monkey) - Do you like to climb things? YES HE DOES HE STICKS TO THINGS REMEMBER THAT SHIT?? HE’S LIKE SPIDER-WESKER

(Mouse) - How accurate is your hearing? Do you cringe at high pitched noises?YEAH he has insane hearing and any loud noise will rly hurt (chris should have just blown a dog whistle at him in re5 and that would make him surrender so fast)

(Rabbit) - How does your body react to a jumpscare? e.g. do their wings spread for a getaway, do they display fangs, do they immediately brandish their claws, etc.You don’t wanna catch him by surprise ever let’s just say that.

(Squirrel) - Do you store energy and hibernate during winter?No

(Bluebird) - Can you fly? If so, how long can you stay airborne?NO AAHA

(Penguin) - Can you endure low temperatures well?HELL NO ANYTHING BELOW 50F IS FUCKING HYPOTHERMIC

(Chicken) - If you had to live off of raw meat only, what creature would you prefer to hunt?He does kinda live off raw meat so idk hhhh

(Hatchling) - Would you protect another one’s abandoned young?Heck no

(Frog) - What sounds do you make that pertain to your species? do they squeak when surprised, growl when irritated, roar when entering combat, etc.Maybe growling and hissing is what’s unique to him idk.

(Fish) - Can you breathe underwater?No but he can go without air for almost 30 minutes.

(Dolphin) - How quickly do you swim? What is your style of swimming?Flailing, thrashing, and drowning lmao

(Whale) - How long can you stay underwater?Zero seconds

(Betta) - What is your relation towards other animals/humans?He’s weird af I can’t even. He likes animals for the most part and he hates most people by default.

(Octopus) - How curious are you? Do you enjoy touching and feeling new things?He’s a curious boi he’ll do anything.

(Snake) - Can you excrete any kinds of poison?No not really

(Alligator) - How well can you blend in with the natural environment?NOT WELL LMAO

(Turtle) - Do you have a protective stance you retreat into when threatened?Yeah it’s called “back the hell up or you’re about to lose your eyeballs.”

(Dragon) - Is your species naturally occurring in the ecosystem?That sounds so funny omg

(Bee) - Do you prefer to be in a pack or by yourself?That’s hard it varies by verse.

(Ladybug) - Are your patterns/color scheme irregular for your species?He’s a human bruh but I guess platinum hair isn’t all that common idk

(Centipede) - How naturally stealthy are you? Rly stealth. He could sneak up on Big Boss and Solid Snake put together

(Snail) - Is there some sort of odd membrane covering your skin? Is it useful?No but he has those inner eyelid things

(Ant) - How strong are you? Is it normal for your species?It varies but in mainverse he can tip over a car no prob and when he goes virus crazy he’s like twice as strong as canon Wesker

[just--a-lurker]

So I finally played original Re1, NDS port. There was a cutscene after Chris or Jill killed the plant monster, they met up with Wesker again. Wesker was standing in the hall... shooting some bee... There was only one dead bee on the floor, which led to a headcanon of mine that he wasted so much bullets FOR A SINGLE FUCKING BEE! Maybe he must have killed more than one bee. But still what the fuck, if he's going to lie then at least try to make the lie seem more convincing by killing something bigger, like hunter or just plain old zombies. But noooooo, he shot the damn bee 🐝🐝🐝🐝

The remake version made the scene even worse, Wesker in remake looked like he was shooting the air lmao. Good for him Jill and Chris bought his shit

🤓☝️ "actually the bees were probably infected and shooting them is a good use of bullets and the remake tries to make it look like whatever he's shooting at got away-"

(playing the original re1 + remake makes you the strongest gamer, I actually can't stand the fixed camera games 😭😭😭)

nah Wesker is trying to aim at a bee and he's actually hitting every shot, but you don't see bc he's actually eating the bees he shot. In the remake he's probably just bored af and is wasting bullets so he looks useful (and his stomach is filled with bees).