#went to a country concert but didn’t know the line up lmfao

[serpientesuenos]

gay cowboy 🌹

[purplesurveys]

497

Have you ever cut your own hair? Nope, my mom would never allow me; and tbh I never would allow myself to do it either. What do you eat most frequently? Rice. I have it for every meal, 7 days a week. Except for when I have pasta. Are you a fan of video games? I’m a fan of watching people play them, and there are a lot of video games I have sentimental attachment to because I was raised in a home where all the boys knew how to work a console; but I myself don’t play. What's your favorite color combination? Black/white with anything earthy. I’m all for simple tones. Did you share a locker at school? No, we all had our own.

What's one sport you could never play? Basketball. I never could understand what the rules were. When we had basketball for PE in high school, I would literally just stand on the court when it came time to play because I never had a grasp on the game. I was a sucky teammate fosho. Blue or black ink? Black. I hate using pens with blue ink. Have you ever sang karaoke? I think the last time was when I was 12 or 13. I hate hate hate being the center of attention and the last thing I want is to sing (which I don’t do) on a microphone that’s gonna amplify my voice and will force people to look at me. What was the last concert you attended? Man it was nearly a year ago, but it was Paramore. Have you held anyone's hand in the past week? Yup, you just barely caught the timeframe! I last held hands last Thursday, exactly a week from today. What's your favorite perfume/body spray/cologne? I bought Beyoncé’s Heat Rush a few years back because I was a huge fan (still am), but I didn’t know I was gonna end up loving the scent so much. It’s still my perfume today and it’s my go-to when I’m going on a date or going somewhere fancy and/or formal. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 45 minutes should be generous enough. I have to beat the traffic everyday so I don’t devote a lot of time simply to get ready. What is the oldest age you think should wear makeup? No age is too old for makeup. How old were you when you went on your first date? I’ve never had a first date per se...I did have one special museum + early dinner ‘date’ with Gab that ended up becoming memorable. I was 16 then. What's your nationality(ies)? Filipino. Pretty sure there’s some distant, distant Spanish blood somewhere down the line. Are you an open book? Very open.  Do you think you're a good secret keeper? For the most part, yeah; but there’ll be times that I wouldn’t be able to help it and spill to Gabie. Which is fine, because she forgets things easily and is 101% not up to date with and doesn’t care for anyone’s lives. She’s super unbothered which is why I kinda choose to tell her stories; but if she had a big mouth, then I probably won’t spill secrets to her. Name one fashion trend you could never follow. Oversized shirts. Do you prefer long hair or short hair? Right now, I’m preferring short. When do you plan to go to sleep tonight? Just my bed. Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? Yes. If so, who? My girlfriend. What exotic animal would you love to have as a pet? NOPE. Do you want kids when you're older? Yeah, I do. Did your parents sign you up for anything you hated as a child? They made me sing to 100+ guests on my 7th birthday party if that counts. I had ballet when I was 5, but it wasn’t that I hated it...it’s just that I was too young to understand what was happening and what I was signed up to, which was partly why I did so badly in the class. Where's your cell phone? I lost my first cellphone on a 1st grade field trip, so it’s definitely somewhere in the waterfalls we went to 14 years ago. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Egg. What are your feelings about Octomom? I don’t really know the circumstances surrounding her, so. Do you know of Smosh? Of course, I grew up watching them. I was there when their popularity exploded, and a little longer after that. I don’t anymore, but sometimes I’ll go back and watch their 2011-2013 skits, and my personal favorite series of theirs, Lunchtime with Smosh.  Do you drink enough water daily? Yep. I looooooove water; I probably drink too much of it haha. Is your diet healthy? I think it *could* fall under healthy? I eat too much junk for my life but I always balance it out with veggies and I just basically make sure that everything else I eat can be beneficial for me, so it balances all the junk out. What's your favorite fruit? Yeah no I hate fruit. What was your favorite Halloween costume? The year when I dressed up as AJ, because I got noticed by her for it. Also the time I dressed up as Sofie, because that was lowkey hilarious. Have you purchased any cool objects from a foreign country? No because everything in other countries (at least the ones I’ve been to) is SO EXPENSIVE. I prefer taking photos, they serve as the best souvenirs for me. Are you on a laptop or a desktop computer right now? Laptop. Where do you plan to post this survey? On my Tumblr, which you’re on right now if you’ve reached this point of the survey. Do you remember anyone's number by heart? Just my mom’s, sister’s, and Gabie’s. Are you a morning person or a late night owl? Night owl, definitely. Name something you will never try in your lifetime. Fruits that I haven’t already tried. What do you think is your biggest flaw? I chicken out of certain things because I’m afraid of failing. First physical trait you notice in the sex you're attracted to? Body language. That technically counts right? Hahaha. How about personality wise? How they speak to me. Are you sick often? I’m sick never. Would you rather have strep throat or an ear infection? I’ve had neither and would like it to stay that way thank you??? When did you last shower? A couple of hours ago, because it was weirdly and annoyingly hot today. Do you have neat handwriting? Yes, I get a lot of compliments for my penmanship. Are you a messy or organized person? Depends on what the space is. My bag for school can get very messy, but my files are always organized; and my room is what I’d call messy-organized in that it’s a mess but I remember where every single thing is. At what age do you hope to get married? 27-28. Is being thin really all that great? I don’t hate being it, that’s for sure. Which of the seven deadly sins do you think you're most guilty of? Envy. How much time have you spent on the computer today? Pretty much the whole day. My body wanted to watch a whole season of Queer Eye today haha.

What size shoe are you? 6-7. How was the weather today? Ugh, MAKE IT RAIN ALREADY. Do you live above, below, or on the Equator? Above the equator, but it’s very very close to it. Do you know how to use Photoshop? Nope. Admit it, you're thinking about someone right now. I’m thinking about the next meal I’m gonna be having lmfao. Where is he/she? It’s in the dining area. Where was your first job? I haven’t had one yet. Favorite year in high school? 3rd or 4th. East or West? East? Where did your first kiss take place? On my bed. What color do you wear most often? I can’t tell which but it’s definitely black or white.

Who was the last person you talked on the phone to? Gab. Have you ever been to a night club? Nah, I don’t know if clubs are my thing. I’m much more comfortable in bars. Are you allergic to anything? I’m not. What's the best place you have ever eaten? The buffet at Circles, Sambokojin, or the food I had at my cruise ship vacation. I really can’t pick. Do you own a hair straightener? I don’t have one of my own, but my mom will let me borrow hers if I need it. Are you barefoot right now? Correcto. Are you subscribed to any magazine? Nope. Puppies or kittens? Puppies. If you had a billion dollars, where would your first investment be made? A modern, spacious house. Who is the best artist you've seen live? PARAMORE YOOOOOOOOOOOO. They connect with their fans so well and you can easily tell you love what they do. Coldplay is a very close second as their production value is fucking insane. Any major plans coming up this week? No not really. I have a date with Gab tomorrow and we’re gonna go out and watch Midsommar, but that’s it for this week. She, Angela, and I are taking a road trip to Nasugbu next Monday though so that’s pretty major. Did you know they never told you Arnold's last name in Hey, Arnold? I never really thought about it. Would you rather watch a romantic comedy or watch a thrilling horror movie? OMG, my two favorite genres :( I’m watching a horror flick tomorrow so I can go for a romcom right now.   Why is Paris Hilton famous? Because of her great-grandfather and her Iconic show with Nicole Richie hahaha. How is your hair styled right now? It’s just down and dried out right now.

Favorite person that you've talked to today? Angela. Do you need AC right now? AC is always a good idea in the Philippines. Do more people call you by a nickname or your first name? My first name is already my nickname/given name. Name something you're proud of. Still being here. How do you feel about couples who say 'I love you' too soon? No judgment. If that’s how they communicate and if it works, so be it. What's the most recent favor you've done for somebody? I drove Laurice to UPTC last Tuesday so she can catch her bus going back all the way to Alabang. Are you at home right now? Yesssssssss I’m so happy to just be at home this whole week. What did you last spend money on? My parking fee at UPTC. Does any accent annoy you? No. How about turn you on? I like certain English accents but not to the point where they turn me on haha. Are you wearing any jewelry? Not right now. Do you get along better with your mom or your dad? Dad. Are you craving anything right now? BURGERS What's worse: Crocs or Uggs? Crocs. Do you knock before you open doors? Yeah, as much as I can. Do you know what a sock on the doorknob means? I think Penny from Big Bang Theory was the one who explained that this means that there are people having sex in the room, but then again it was a tie on the doorkob in that episode so I dunno if they still mean two different things. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate. What's your zodiac sign? Taurus. Does Fred from Youtube annoy you? No, not really.

[laptrance]

July 28, 2020

it’s been over two years since my last entry. so much has changed. to update March 8 2018 me:

you give up on job searching atm until 4/24/18. that’s when you start reaching out to all the promotion companies from kucr. planetary was the other promotion company you remembered besides terrorbird. cirstina was super nice and chill and said they just wrapped internships for the summer but to inquire again for the fall. 

you wait those months while still working at mcdonalds. you get good at it and things are second nature to you. you still have moments where you storm out, but you get better at controlling your temper. 

you check back in august and cristina says there are positions open in the fall. it was pretty easy as they accepted you right away. you do this bat shit crazy thing where you try to balance the two. planetary internship Tuesday Thursday Friday and McDonald’s the rest of the days. you even do opening shift during the weekends (4am-12pm).

you’re mostly quiet during your internship. you participate in riyl’s. you mainly talk to cristina while mailing. you don’t open up much until hayoung joins in november i think. mcdonalds is the same as usual, but your sleep schedule’s FUKED UP.

you hear in december that maria (who worked in publicity) is quitting. cristina encourages you to apply. you talk with adam and the interview tbh goes horribly. not like you didn’t have anything to say, but everything you said was wrong LOL. you also talk to george and ben and they lay out what press does but you dont catch any of that.

christmas office party happens and you drink a lot. you open up a lot to EVERYONE, iNCLUDING BEN about your love life (embarrassing) you’re obviously too drunk to drive home, but you stay over the night with nik and alison (goth bless their souls)

you check in with adam on the position occasionally until feb. 2019 when he breaks the bad news. the position’s filled. like how can you be surprised? but you’re still upset. you’re able to turn this as a positive to use your experiences to boost your resume.

you continue to work at mcdonalds and interview at places until you get a random email from adam exactly one year after you first emailed cristina about the internship. adam offers you the job. ofc you accept. you quit mcdonalds and start with planetary on may 1.

learning publicity is one hell of a learning curve. heck, you’re still learning how to do shit even now. but you’re thrown on the deep end with Luna. not your fault. not totally kristen’s fault. but that was a crazy client. 

anyways, your sleep schedule’s still fucked up because of your commute. but at least you have free weekends now! 

some highlights of 2019: you finally get a macbook! but you have a galaxy s9 as a phone lmfao. placements in The Line of Best Fit and Paste! you get absolutely entranced with warehouse raves. you literally go to at least once a month. falling in love with queen of jeans and linking up with their publicist Jamie Coletta (she’s super cool and the best at the game), going on two (2) dates with a really nice girl named sara. you got in your head and probably fucked that up. but it really wasn’t the time. christmas party 2019. same shenanigans but this time you don’t drink as much. you really look for places to move out to with ryan and he finds a house that angeli and linda live. two people are moving out and the rooms go for $500 and $600. you get the $500 room and are set to move in on Feb 16 2020. news of a disease called coronavirus is first detected in china. this will be important later.

oh 2020. what a shite year. if i told myself the things i’ll write down below i would not believe it. but here it is. everything that has happened so far in 2020:

first cases of coronavirus appear in washington on january. you’re not too concerned about it. 

you’re working this country artist aminah hughes and land a placement in american songwriter for January 31 (1st time!). there are some issues and they post it one day later, but you weren’t as attentive as you should’ve been over the weekend.

adam talks to you about it the following monday (2/3) in a really calm matter but you beat yourself up over it. so much so that on your way home, you totally don’t notice a pedestrian crossing galloping hills and eucalyptus and run them over. everything feels like a blur, but you’re able to talk to the police, karen, and kimberly (state farm) about it. you take tuesday-thursday off.

you move in (night before you saw bored lord and octo octa until 3am wtf). you don’t have a car (for obvious reasons), but you’re able to commute to work via bus/subway (which you would’ve done anyway cause you love public transportation lol)

you’re able to return to normal life mostly until middle march. cases of the newly named COVID-19 have spread throughout the united states and you hear of workspaces transitioning over to work from home operations. planetary soon follows suit. our last day in the office is march 13.

literally the week after you start wfh animal crossing new horizons comes out. that keeps you busy for like two, three months tops. it’s also a nice way to keep in touch with friends. 

your first therapy session happens on march 31. you’re able to talk about the accident, but it’s quickly directed to self-esteem. it’s an ongoing process, but you’re slowly advancing. it’s not linear, but it’s better than doing nothing.

Bandcamp establishes “Bandcamp Day”, 24 hour periods in which the site’s share of profits go directly to artists/labels. Started in April, will continue through the end of 2020. All the money I would normally spend on concerts goes here now. That and I fall to the hands of food delivery apps (door dash wins)

your campaign with Atta Boy gets going. first track premieres at Atwood Magazine (2nd time! [1st time was with sophia st. helen, another awesome client]). band’s super happy about it (even mr. josh brolin himself gave a shout out [bias ofc]). by the end of may you land their second single on THE MOTHERFUCKING FADER (1ST TIME OBVIOUSLY). 

everything else is going surprisingly well for the most part (except for elp, but i don’t wanna talk about those fucking idiots) despite the ever-changing landscape of music journalism. huge blogs are letting people go while smaller sites are remaining mostly the same. 

On May 25, George Floyd is murdered by Minneapolis police which sparks the biggest wave of activity in the Black Lives Matter movement since Michael Brown’s death in 2014. organizing/activism is still going on to this day (7/28). 

For me personally, I’m making a conscious effort to highlight Black artists on my Bandcamp days and general sharing of music. I also joined a book club (6/18) and read “Are Prisons Obsolete” in its entirety. We’re currently reading a comic series called Bitch Planet. Deep and meaningful conversations.

the family hears news of Lola’s declining health. June 23rd (Manila time) is the day she passes away. We’re all able to say our last goodbyes via facebook video call. this is the first time i see my dad cry.

funeral takes place on june 27th. we’re able to partake in the ceremony via zoom. the first and only funeral i “attended” online (so far).

I start “fixing” myself physically. I went to physical therapy from 6/8-7/7. the exercises do wonders to my knees (ty dr. bailey!). also saw a dermatologist on 7/10. really quick appt. kinda felt rushed imo, but i was given a special sunscreen that works so far? also recommended otc meds like claritin.

ended campaign with atta boy. really sad to see them go. currently coordinating with their new managers on a possible podcast and press setup. 

and that’s pretty much it! it’s a lot of shit, i know, but it happened all within 2 years. overall i’d say we were pretty successful in finding a big-girl job and MOVING OUT, WHICH I THOUGHT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN LMFAO. as for the shit you were hung up on with angelica, you’re so much better now, but you think about the good memories from time to time. sometimes it gets you down, but you’re thankful for the memories (come through fallout boy LMFAO AHAHA FALLOUT AMIRIGHT) and you learned from your mistakes. maybe it will be another two years before i leave another update, might be less, might be more. 

but i’m extremely proud at how far i’ve come.

im proud of you, me.

[vipfeels]

girl, imma need you to spill the bean on everything! like everything from lining up to soundcheck to the actually concert. this girl doesnt have time to be asking all the questions, just give it all to me at onec lol

LMFAO!! Alright this is going to be a looonngg post. Grab some chips guy!!

Also, I am going to be stating some of my PERSONAL opinions on some of the topics. Remember, these are MY opinions, meaning that not everyone at the concert felt this way and that you don’t necessarily have to agree with me. 

LINING UP

United Center sent an email saying that they will only allow us to line up at 11am (the earliest) and anyone who lines up before then will be asked to leave. I was the only gold vip in my group that went so I left our airbnb place earlier. Actually I left late due to me not knowing if it was safe to go there alone in that neighborhood (I heard it’s not safe there). So I got there around almost 12pm and I was #67 in the gold line. I don’t know about other venues, but here they had signs telling us which line was which. 

Right when I sat down in the line I became friends with three of the girls in front of me. Two of them were friends and one of them came alone. 

It was HOT, like probably in the high 80s close to 90 degrees. Luckly, I brought an umbrella and was able to shade myself. After getting out wristbands we were allowed to leave the line cause we were already numbered. I left with one of the girl (won’t say her name) to go get Subway. 

When we got back the merch truck outside was starting to open so we quickly got in line. I ended up buying two shirts. It was $100…..you better fucking appreciate me kwon ji yong 

We got back in line and at 2:30 gold was allowed to go into the venue to pick up tickets, get food, and air conditioning. 

PHASE TWO

So I’m calling this phase two because we were joking that phase one was lining up outside and phase two was lining up inside and waiting. We bought food, ate, and chilled. 

A WATER BOTTLE WAS LITERALLY $5!!!!!! 

SOUNDCHECK

So I was not right up by the barricade, but I was in the second role in the middle and I had a very VERY good view. 

So everyone is all in the pit and the lights dim and we see a silhouette of a guy come up, like getting raised by the whatever stage thing. And everyone went apeshit, but turns out that it was just a staff checking the equipment lol

The time comes and GD literally, like literally just casually walks onto the stage. He starts to sing, I can’t remember what song. But he had his back facing us the entire time. After singing two songs, he was talking to a stage staff and it seemed like he was not liking how the sound system sounded. He looked like he needed sleep, food, and that he was sick. It was painful to see him in that state, hope he feels better. 

While he was talking to the staff people kept YELLING things at him. He’s trying to get everything in place for the concert and these people couldn’t even respect that. Someone shouted “you should smile” or something along those lines. Seriously these people were so disrespectful. He barely interacted with the audience during the soundcheck, he sang like 3 songs? and left. I don’t blame him tho. 

As he was leaving someone shouted “make sure you eat”, I think it was one of the girls that I befriend but I’m not sure. According to FB, people didn’t like that because they said that it wasn’t that girls business and such. IMO, I think of it as a fan looking out for Ji’s health, but thats just me. 

THE CONCERT   

If anything it made me respect him even more. During soundcheck this boy looked sick and tired, and he sounded like he was in need of sleep. But when that stage lift came up, he was G fucking Dragon. The fact that he was able to be so professional was just so….I don’t even know how to explain it. 

My phone quality sucks. The videos and the pictures I took weren’t good at all. But I didn’t take a lot of videos/pictures. I just watched him perform most of the time. 

THE SEND OFF

Given the vibe of the audience from the soundcheck, I was happy that he didn’t go around taking pictures, or shaking anyone’s hand. Some parts of me thinks that we kind of deserved it. He honestly wasn’t feeling Chicago. 

HOWEVER. I know that its physically tiring for him to be touring city to city, country to country, and constantly having to board plane after plane. He’s only human and we shouldn’t expect him to be able to smile and pretend like he’s happy 24/7. But because I paid so much for the ticket, and for everything else (plane ticket, airbnb, food, etc) to come see him I was hoping he was going to give out more fan service. Of course I wasn’t expecting him to shake every hand or take a pic with everyone, but some fan service at least. TBH I was quite disappointed. It was not worth $600, maybe $300, but definitely not $600. 

Anyways, the set up of the send off was relatively small. We thought that everyone was going to get to be up by the barricade and see him, but there were two lines behind me (I was up front) and people couldn’t even see him that well. We waited for a good 10-20 minutes before he cam out and he passed by quickly thanking everyone (doing the signature pose). It did not last 30 seconds. 

RANT

I know this is already such a long post but let me complain. 

There was a video during the concert (I’ll try posting it up, but quality might be bad). Basically it was a video of his close friends and family talking about who Kwon Ji Yong and who GD is, what kind of person he is, and also GD talking about showing us KJY. 

I was seriously crying while I was watching this, because what I saw was a boy who was trying to show us his real self but at the same time being afraid that people won’t be able to accept him for who is really is. That honestly just broke my heart. 

I said this once and I’m gonna say it again. PEOPLE ARE FUCKING RUDE. If I’m able to post up my video you’ll hear people start shouting “TAKE IT OFF”. He was wearing like, a lose jacket or something that he was pulling it closely to his body, kind hugging himself. 

Like seriously, he’s making a speech about his insecurities of being KJY and you’re gonna ignore it??!!?!?!?! I was so fucking piss. 

Ok, so the video is too long for tumblr, so I am uploading it on YouTube @ Kristina Feels. Again, the quality is shit. 

FAVORITE MOMENTS

After the video he performed Superstar, then gave us a mini speech. During that speech he talked again about wanting to show us KJY and saying how he’s not sure is we like it or not. The crowd starts to chant KWON JI YONG and he gave the biggest gummy smile that night and started to sway dance to the chant. IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!! I was seriously in mom mode lol, I WAS JUST SO HAPPY!!! 

I MADE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM. HE WON’T REMEMBER ME BUT WE HAD THAT 2 SECOND EYE CONTACT. NOTHING MATTERS ANYMORE!!!

The dance Middle Fingers Up and the Bullshit performance. 

HIM BEING THE CUTEST FLUFF BALL DURING UNTITLED WHEN HE WALKED RIGHT IN FRONT OF US! 

And with that I am going to end this long post. 

[silentmight]

BTS LIVE Trilogy Episode III the WINGS TOUR in Bangkok 2017

Sometimes, all it takes is a little faith and the wings you never knew you had will fly.

About a week and a half ago I YOLO’ed to Bangkok for BTS’ Wings Tour, and it’s a decision I absolutely have no regrets on. Just gonna keep this here as a diary post and concert impression of sorts!

The BTS Wings Tour in Bangkok holds special meaning for me in many ways, but I'll get to that later.

I haven't been to a concert this massive, no not even the local rock bands and gigs I attended while in Singapore can rival this full house of screaming fangirls. Queuing was intense and really stuffy, as Bangkok's weather can really fry you but thankfully I met up with Fonnoi (the girl I bought my ticket from; I randomly saw her post on FB) and then joined her for the concert!

I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO REGRETS PAYING FOR THE STANDING TICKET. We positioned ourselves to the back and could learn against the guard rails, which makes for good viewing cause everyone crammed to the front and I'm glad my height's at an advantage here lol :3 Also I guess I must be old because I was on energy saving mode until the lights went off; the younger fans were all screaming when their bias appeared on screen when they played the MVs to pass time.

As an introduction, they played Spring Day’s MV and when the first verse kicked in I started tearing… IN FACT I WAS SILENTLY CRYING THROUGHOUT MANY SONGS, PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME idk man this is the first time I've cried multiple times during a concert because you can feel the atmosphere and I just have too many FEELINGS.

The boys came on stage and kicked off with Not Today- great way to get the crowd pumping and it's also my fav (hell all of it is). The playlist is pretty much faithful to the one listed on the wiki, you can go check it out there… Hearing Bapsae and DOPE live is such a treat. Anyway I'm, so very glad to be able to watch the BTS boys perform their solo songs from the Wings album, coupled with visuals and stage props that are reflective of their personality and song.

Jungkook’s ‘Begin’ displayed his smooth dancing, which felt like a silent sort of strength. Right after was Jimin's ‘Lie’, which holy shit I've been waiting to watch in person ever since this kid became my no.2… I cannot explain in words how 色っぽい sexy it is, goddamnit! Stop attacking my heart! I cannot fathom how Jimin can look like a marshmallow one minute and then like a wolf!! *tears hair out* My favourite part of the dance was when he was blindfolded onwards /COUGH and when he was lifted into the air by the backup dancers too.

And then… my angel Min Yoongi, aka SUGA’s solo. I usually am unable to listen to 'First Love’ because he outputs a ton of intense emotions when he raps, so when I'm stressed I skip it. Hearing it live is no shortage of his raw feelings, and just listening to him rap it live is truly amazing.

The singer line then performed Lost and Save Me, in which during Lost they started to walk all over stage and I'm glad I… am just less than 10 feet away from them… just seeing Jimin sing live, I can die happy. OH and after this was 'I NEED U', aka the one song that I love to butcher with @hweiro and @wataksampingan in the car. Their pronunciation of “I need you gurrrr” hasn't changed IRL either lol.

Rapmon’s solo really did it for me. The introduction was of him looking at a whale, and this is just my assumption: Was he looking at the loneliest whale in the world? Which he wrote Whalien 52 in the previous album? Is it an allusion to himself, because we all know his song 'Reflection’ is melancholic by nature? As the song progressed, it felt like some deep acid trip going through the ocean and the universe and finally Rapmon ends it by walking into an elevated phone booth… however hearing him repeat, “I wish I could love myself” with the concert visuals truly struck a deep chord within. I don't have a deep soul like him but I can resonate with the feeling of looking at life pass you by, you want to love yourself but it's hard as fuck.

V's “Stigma” was next, sorry my attention here died a bit so I don't remember much lol. The last two solos had me in a silent tearing mess though- J-Hope and Jin. J-Hope is SUCH a good performer, his stage charisma is great and we're treated to his childhood photos as he sang ’MAMA’. He had a long pause before finishing off the song, but in that last verse, he sang it with the intensity of his gratitude and love for his mother I just.. my eyelids were like a leaky tap okay. You can totally see the look of admiration and adoration when he looked up after the song ended. J-HOPE!!! ;____;

Jin… oh Jin. It took me so long to appreciate 'Awake’, but after watching him perform live, I see this song in a new light. He and the violinists/cellists were on individual raised platforms, while the backdrop is pretty simple. It felt like a dreamy sky, and on the front of the platforms were projected feathers. Tbh, from what I know of Jin is that he was mainly the visual, who can't really sing or dance so people were like, why is he even there? And perhaps Jin himself feels it too, being the oldest in the group. The line “Maybe I can, can never fly… I Can't fly like the flower petals over there” just struck me of that train of thought.

But to me, Jin, at that very moment you're flying- flying so high and you could touch the sky.

Feelings of inadequacy and yet wanting to keep on keeping on resonates too much within. This song really punched me in the gut and I was trying to not sniffle (and guess what my eyeliner didn't run lmao)

'Cypher 4’ was the rapper line just doing their thing and going wild, then next was FIRE. OMG I've waited so long to also see this dance in person and also sing along T_Tbbb The next couple of songs had them singing yet running all over stage and I took the opportunity to sneak some photos lol but I'm sad that Suga didn't really come to our side of the stage 🙁 Speaking of Suga, this fella is really funny... as for most of his rap lines he just held his mic up and let the audience fill it in woi wwwwww

I managed to sneak some photos of Jimin as he came over to our side of the pen during ‘LOST’- when the singer line started walking around.

Anyway, I have also been looking forward to the main dances of the night: J-Hope’s insane solo for ‘Boy Meets Evil’ and finally, ‘Blood Sweat and Tears’ in the FLESH. I love BST a lot so getting to see it live is just too much for my heart to take.. even with Wings Outro right after. Tbh I wanted to jump up and down like at a rave party with this song (and Dope/Fire) but.. no one else was doing so.. guess no one jumps at a kpop concert lmfao

I got to see everyone up close though, in particular Jimin, J-Hope, V, Jungkook and Rapmon. Damn, Rapmon gave a flying kiss to the small area of 4-5 i was squashed in and the girl in the front went BERSERK. lol Jimin also high 5’ed a very lucky person!

After a short intermission, they returned with ”There Will Be Better Days” and I was already expecting to bawl at this song because of how easy you can sing along to the lyrics (and their meaning), and fucking bawl I did! Before performing this song Rapmon was like, don't be sad, we'll walk together always in our hearts and towards better days always and damn, I'm moved. I could mainly understand whatever RM was saying cause he's the only one speaking in English haha…

Last song of the night was 'Spring Day,’ which was a fitting end to the entire concert. And with that, the Wings Tour has come to an end.

If I didn't take leap of faith in messaging a total random stranger, who is now a concert goer and new found friend, I would never experience this. People precaution one against randomly asking and buying something from online strangers but if I never spotted Fonnoi’s post on the IME thread, I would never have this experience. I've been shown so much hospitality and warmth throughout, and I'm glad we could establish that trust. I'm really thankful to her for selling the ticket at an ok price!

I guess this concert and trip alone fulfills one of my small dreams; to YOLO to another country solely for a concert and to also solo travel before I'm 30. Honestly I thought I'd never be able to do it but just slog away and slave at work- growing old and letting all my youthful dreams die as I leave behind the vestiges of youth. It might have not been to Japan for sakanaction (still a dream), but I'm infinitely grateful that I was able to watch another one of my favourite groups perform live… not to mention seeing Suga, my ultimate BTS crush and also Jimin in person.

Here’s some sneak shots I took:

Rapmon!!! He’s so charismatic.