#went thru the 5 stages of grief making this like not just bc of the art but irl LMAO

[cynderrfall]

judgement

[yesicanbelieveitsnotbutter]

what’s that? divorced mociet au for maximum angst? don’t mind if i do!

they meet in a local park, deceit probly says something like “Nature is so beautiful, it’s a shame man tries to own her” and patton is like “omg so deep take me”

they go on sum dates

patton dives head first into love and drags dee with him

pat wants to get married, dee is unsure, but want to make pat happy so he accepts

they adopt a 3 year old logan and 1 year old twins roman and remus

tensions rises as they have two distinct styles of parenting

a friend of patton gets pregent young and asks him to raise the baby (trans!remy for added angst maybe idk)

pat agrees without talking to dee

dee finds out and they have their 1st big fight

dee agrees to raise the babe but the tension has snapped and is poisening their relationship

lil babe virge joins the famILY

deceit goes “i’ve only know virgil for a hour but if anything happens to him i will kill everyone and then myself”

they divorce and there’s an ugly custody battle

dee: “you aren’t responble enough to raise children!!!”

pat: “my baaaaabbbiiiiieeeessss!!!”

Logan (5) and Roman (3) go with Patton

Remus (3) and Virgil (2) go with Deceit

Patton moves away to a new town and they break off contact

pat enrolls his sons in a K-12 school and they do really well

dee works long hours to support his sons

he puts remus in a public school, but remus doesn’t do well in school

he gets into fights and gets expelled

dee sends him to a new school

this happens alot

dee wants to keep remus and virge in the same school, so every time remus gets expelled, he moves both of them

they never stay in the same school for more than a year

this is very stressful for dee who eventually has to move around to keep up with remus’s school-switching

this is also super hard on virgil who never learns how to make friends

dee, who is always stressed and not always there, and remus, a fuck-up who couldn’t care less, become his contants

they move to a new town before virgil’s freshman year

virge and remus go to the local highschool

remus meets roman in their classes (surprise! they have ended up in the same town patton moved to earlier!!)

they don’t reconize either other (obv they were like 3)

remus chalenges roman to a fight durring lunch

virge is like “remus no” and remus is like “remus yes”

crowd gathers and roman wants to protect his pride

they fight and it gets bloody quick

roman’s older brother, logan (:O), comes rushing in and breaks it up

he reconizes remus and virge (he got good memory or sumn)

virge is like “WTF REMUS THIS IS WHY DAD HATES YOU”

and leaves

Logan is surprised pikachu face

the whole school is buzzing with gossip of new kids und log and rom

virge skips class and hides in the liberary

logan finds him after school

logan: “bro i’m like ur older bro” virge: “wth no way bro” logan: “no no i got this picture with both of our now single parents in it” virge: “fuck dude that’s sum pretty solid evidence”

virge opens up a bit to lo

they go to the dention room together but!! patton is there (gasp) and virge is like “omg i can’t let him see me” and lo is like “ur tots right, i won’t say a word”

pat and boys leave and virge goes into dention room

but remus is gone????

suprise bitch he went home early- virge learns thru dee’s “wth are u!!” phone call

dee and boys have dinner, which doesn’t happen often

dee: “im so sorry we can’t have this more often” remus: “whatever ur cooking stinks” virge: *internal panic* cantlethimfindoutcantlethimfindout

back to pat- he’s not angry, roman, just disapointed. fighting=bad

everyone goes to be tired and upset except remus, bc he’s a bastard (look i love him, but he is a bastard)

next day is school day

people whisper about virge and reem in the hallways, but he indimidates them with his Insane Looks TM

Roman “”””forgives””””” Remus when the meet and remus shrugs and insluts his non-existent mother

logan is there and calmly reminds roman not to retaliiate

things go okay for a few weeks

virge is loney, remus is bastard, roman is trying so hard to not punch him in the face, and logan is a nerd

virge needs lo’s nerd skills to pass a test

lo teaches him at the school

ro joins one of their study sessions

at 1st he’s rude to virge but then he reliezes virge is not a bastard like remus

they become friends, an lo and virge tell ro ~The famILY Seceret~

later ro begs virge to join Drama Club

virge is like “nuuu” ro is like “pleassss” virge is like “...ok fine.”

they are doing a play version of The Parent Trap

Ro and virge gets the role of the twins 

rem makes fun of virge for his growing interest in the-ay-tar, but dee’s happy he’s putting himself out there and making friends

logan finds the play ironic lol

pat is excite!! and support!! for roman and his starring role

but then!! lo ro and virge Relieze both parents will Be There and See their Sons or Each Other

remus shows up like an eavesdropping bitch and is like “lol what if we dedicated it to them lol it be funny”

“REMUS NO”

lo’s like “welp nothing we can do bout it now”

ro: “wait! what if u and remus took the other parent of the child on stage out of the theater so they only see their child!!”

lo: unrealilistic

virge panic tm

remus gives a ton of really bad ideas

everyone goes home with this big fat problem in their minds

remus starts dropping onimous hints about the play and dee is Concern

the day of the play comes

ro and virge decied that no matter what, the show must go on

they perform and do really well, breaking both their legs (jk)

(remus throws a tomato onto the stage at the climax lol)

after the show virge finds dee an ree in the crowd

dee is super quiet and looking around (he has the program in his hand)((the program with roman’s full name)) (((which would have patton’s last name)))((((u get it))))

virge panic pt 2, but remus saves the day (whaaa) by asking to go for icecream

dee agrees and they go for sum BR

BUT! ro lo and pat had the same idea!!

they’re in the same icecream parlor!

remus stiffs a laugh

dee cooly glances over to where the pat and boys are sitting before heading over to the country to order

virge quietly follows

lo notices them and nudges ro who abruptly stops talking and looks over at dee and boys, alerting pat of their prensence

flashes of grief on pat’s face

the table is quiet before ro awkwardly picks up the conversation where he left off

dee gets a table as far away from pat &co as possible

however, he looks up once and locks eyes with patton

both tables are quiet

dee breaks the eye contact and starts talking to his boys

patton smiles sadly at his icecream

“I thing we should go home kiddos.”

at home, lo explains everything

pat nods numbly and locks himself in his bedroom

logan comforts roman

at the ice cream, dee talks to virge and remus about the play until patton leave

“so do you know them?”

virge breaks down and admits everything

remus isn’t as much as a bastrad now

dee ods calmly and they eat ice cream in silence

they next day is saturday

virge stays in his room despite remus atempts to play 

remus also locks himself in his room

dee finds logan’s cell number in virgil’s backpack and calls him

surprisingly patton picks up

they talk for a while

they agree to keep the kids in the same school

“I miss you somethimes, dee.” a pause. “Your mistake.”

dee hangs up

he looks up to where virgil’s room is and sighs.

[thekittenkait]

I think I just went thru the 5 stages of grief bc of an outing that is planned for this evening with out senpais

And I had just landed on acceptance (c'mon, you'll at least get some good food for dinner! It's too late to tell them you're not coming anyway)

And now one of my classmates texted he can't make it today

And now I'm like "THAT WAS AN OPTION??" and landed straight back at "anger"

But now I can't cancel bc then it would 1. look like I'm just cancelling bc I realised I can and 2. It would be rude bc the senpai organised it and they'd only be like 4 people then

[elle-eedee]

im a day late but im a sap so i wanted to whip up something of timid heart shark celebrating no heart’s birthday!! biiiiig headcanon dump under the cut 💜🖤

ok so!!! timid heart wakes up one morning and she looks at her calendar, as one does, and when she realizes its friday the 13th she GASPS and falls out of bed

this makes a LOT of noise, so it happens to wake up her roommate, [studio audience applause] slimey heart snail! slimey's disgruntled to have been woken up from his Sleeb but as soon as he sees timid heart on the ground hes in Protec Mode™ like "WHATS GOING ON ARE YOU HURT" and shes like "i-its.... no h-hearts BIRTHD-DAY" and u can see slimeys face go through the 5 stages of grief (with acceptance taking place in the form of "thats fine but im kinkshaming")

(in general, slimey feels kinda iffy abt timid's feelings 4 no heart, just bc hes a Bad Dude n slimey wants the best for his very good friend, but at the same time he trusts her!!! he just has to remind her to stick up 4 herself sometimes)

so slimeys like “ok... and?” bc he knows the drill at this point and timid heart obvi has a plan to impress her Crush™ SO she goes through this whole thing about how she really wants to make sure no heart has a good day and she thinks its important that he gets to celebrate with people who wouldnt, like, directly benefit from being overtly kind to him (i.e. henchmen) and maybe she gets distracted a few times and ends up describing the hug she plans to give him in detail, and MAYBE shes blushing a lil more than necessary, but slimey keeps her on track and when it seems like shes finished talking he asks how on earth shes going to get to his castle n she gets this look of surprised realization followed immediately by determination n shes like “I H-HAVE TO GET CAPTURED”

slimey heart’s like “YOU ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT DO THAT”

they discuss whether or not this is a good idea for longer than necessary (smh timid heart... wyd) but slimey eventually convinces her that itll show more dedication/be safer if she just straight up visits him, since by this point she absolutely knows the way. but since shes a shy baby she asks slimey to take the trip with her, which he agrees to do as long as he doesnt hav to ACTUALLY go inside the castle, as he “makes no promises about not punching the guy’s face in on sight”. and so theyre off!

the actual journey is pretty uneventful; they get near enough 2 the castle that slimey can avoid being noticed but still keep an eye on timid, so he sends her on the rest of her way

in standard timid heart fashion, the last 5 minutes of the trip r the ones where she immediately overthinks her whole plan and gets super anxious about it. what if no heart’s shadows catch her? what if she has to worry abt whatever scary stuff lives in his moat? what if she has to sneak in, and no heart thinks she wants to Fight him? her brain is being very mean to her and its not fun at all

but luckily, who does she see right outside but MR. BEASTLY?? and hes pacing about, like he does every year (or, well, every 6ish months? however often friday the 13th happens fdkfgdsds) and worrying about not having the perfect gift for no heart yet!! so she realizes that she isnt going to have to sneak in after all! and she strikes a deal w/ beastly where he pretends that he captured her as his gift to no heart! everybody wins

so they get inside, and beastly runs into the room first and does his whole singsongy “NO HEEEEAAAAAAARRRRRRRT I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOUUUUU” and no hearts annoyed, like he always is, but u can tell theres something else to it. he sounds hopeful? so beastly keeps on going and hes dropping hints abt what the gift is and saying things that pretty obviously would only apply to a care bear (like “its small, and fuzzy, and something youve been trying to destroy for centuries” or smth fdsgkf) and no heart is VERY excited now and hes like “YOU GOT ME A-?” and timid heart steps out from behind a wall and kinda shrugs n smiles and no heart is like “... oh. hello, timid heart.” (her heart skips a beat or twenty when he says her name)

and the way he says it is like? maybe shes reading too much into it, bc she does that, but he says it with a tone that, from anyone else, would sound horribly disappointed but given the fact that no heart has the emotional range of a peanut he sounds! almost happy to see her!!

he crosses the room n approaches her and her brain is going a mile a minute and he crouches to get a better look at her and her breath catches. they lock eyes, for like a second. she waves. he stands back up to his full height, says something characteristically unimpressed like “i suppose she’ll do” and beastly has NO STANDARDS so he looks p excited but then after a minute no heart sighs and very genuinely is like “thank you, beastly” and its!!! a Very Nice Moment. 

so of course he kicks beastly out of the room like 2 seconds later just so hes not being TOO soft. and then he and timid heart are alone

theres a bit of an uncomfortable silence (well, it’s uncomfortable for timid at least) so she clears her throat and, in her very raspy Nervous voice, says “h-happy birthday, no h-heart!” he whirls around and looks at her and is a combo of surprised and confused?

he beckons her closer w/ one finger and she goes to him willingly, and he crouches to her eye level again. theres a tense silence where shes thinking abt the way his shadow pools around her, commands the room, but his voice snaps her out of it. soft n low, he asks “why are you here?”

“w-well, i- b-beastly, he-” “yes, yes, i know. he got you. but he always seems to, doesnt he? he never fails. you’re always here. so, why?” 

timid heart fiddles w/ her hands for a sec, tries 2 come up with something less embarrassing than the actual truth, but she cant, so she just takes a deep breath and tells him that she likes it in his castle and that, well, she likes him! (she doesnt specify romantically, but... baby steps) and she thinks he deserves to have a nice birthday celebration

he looks her over for a moment that feels Really Long, but then he sighs and!!! he reaches out and takes her hand!!!!

slimey heart, watching thru a window with heart-shaped binoculars: nice

timid n no heart just kinda Stay like that for a nice moment, a moment in which timid heart is pretty suspicious shes dreaming and CERTAIN that shes forgotten how 2 breathe, but eventually no heart very gingerly releases his hold on her and stands. he tells her that he has to get back to his work (evil doesnt take a holiday, after all) but that shes welcome to stick around so long as she doesnt get into trouble. so she does! she doesnt Rlly feel comfortable watching no heart research spells (she feels like shes bothering him + upsetting the peace n quiet) so instead she hangs out with beastly for a while! they talk abt inconsequential stuff like the plant he’s growing and how come he always wears that scarf, even when its hot out? super fun

she ends up leaving a little before it gets dark out (not that its EVER easy to tell what fckin time of day it is at no heart’s castle, given the weather is Spooky Clouds 24/7) so that none of the care bears or cousins worry abt her, but shes too shy to say bye to no heart so she just asks beastly to tell him she had a really good time and that she hopes he enjoys his birthday! shes pretty much banking on the fact that he’ll paraphrase it to b less emotional dskgds

as shes walking away she blows a lil kiss to the castle (something shes sure 2 get made fun of for later) and meets up w/ slimey, who does in fact joke around with her but is overwhelmingly glad shes safe

he asks her how it went and if she ever got that Perfect Hug she was talking about? and shes like “n-nah but... i-i’ll get him n-next time” n he kinda laughs n puts his arm around her and they walk home like that