#went out to get myself a berliner earlier this evening

[roccinan]

How do you feel when you watch the spin off? What do you think of it? And do you like it? For me, I sort of like eps 1-4, the rest are just meh, I couldn't bring myself to care for the other characters, I tried. And I was very confused, what year the spin off?. It started off good and... Idk. All I can say is that Andres truly belong in the asylum. That man creeps me out. If I were Camille, I ran away the second I saw that creep. Lol.

Hello anon! I couldn't answer you earlier because I didn't get to watch it. But now I've finished it and, hum, I certainly have a lot of thoughts that I'll probably post later LOL.

For now, here are the most fresh on my mind. I agree with you- eps 1-4 were surprisingly good, last one was pretty cool too, ralicia supremacy. I was mostly just surprised I didn't dislike it. Can't say I loved it, or that it's my ideal berlin spinoff, but for all the "factors" against it that Pina chose of his own free will asdfasdf, it turned out surprisingly OK.

Spinoff takes place around 2013, according to Pina. Which messes with the canon timeline so much we'll just have to see it as a parallel universe where time doesn't matter.

I now call spinoff!Andres my wife. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. So unfortunately, I cannot slander my bride like that.

But I liked that he was still a freak. The show didn't try to make him a better person thankfully, but I think a lot of the reviews were complaining about him being an asshole or complaining that he was ruined for not being enough of an asshole, missed the mark a bit. The main problem, if we have to pick one, about him, is that the context around him is too shallow to take seriously. His speeches about love have no substance (and they actually did in lcdp) because the circumstances have no substance. He's putting romance above the heist because well, why shouldn't he lmao? There's no personal stake here, and it's not like he'll get capital punishment for getting caught.

And that "problem" extends to everyone else. Their motives and actions are just very shallow and There for the sake of being there. Like Roi and Cameron could have had a moving romance, but instead Cameron made me cringe very badly with how much she felt like Alex Pina's idea of "hawt gurl with sad past!!" And said "sad" past was actually really fucked up but the story didn't seem to think so!? It wasn't a tragic romance--it was a 20-something musician sleeping with a 15yo fangirl, abducting her, and then traumatizing her so badly she entered the asylum and ended up hanging out with berlin. Like????

I'll say I misunderstood Keila though. Liked her a lot better in the show than the trailers. But everytime I went "oh, I like her uwu" she'd do something that makes me GAG like inhaling Bruce's sweat or licking his spoon asdfasdf Also the part where she confessed her love for him after the snake bite gave me secondhand embarrassment. None of the love stories felt lasting, believable, or touching to me. Probably because there were too many of them and it was even more convenient than lcdp proper!

Bruce was different than I expected. He's insensitive, but not "dumb" like the character descriptions made him out to be. Same as Keila. Everytime I thought "I like him uwu" he'd do something like talk about pubic hair or cover himself in oil/water, instantly making me die.

Damian is Sergio 2.0 and also Martin 2.0, but straight and old. No strong feelings for him either way. But it was funny that Andres got so mad about sharing a bed with him, when he was willingly hopping into bed with Martin LMAO. Also ngl, it stung my little berlermo heart to see Damian and Andres sing karaoke and go on a lover's bike ride together.

Roi was my favorite new member. He felt like a real original character, and his relationships with Cameron and Andres were nicely fleshed out even if they both confused me. Cameron because the romance was shallow to me. Andres because Roi never told us how they met or why Andres took him in. Andres giving Roi advice on temper control is also hilarious. We'll just have to assume that Andres is willing to raise everyone's kid except his own. He even took that one boy to the bathroom asdfasdf

But overall, I agree anon. I just didn't care for the new characters the same way I did the old gang or the cormorants. Maybe because the stakes were too low or because they were always beautiful and perfect (except Damian lol) no matter the situation. I personally think the producers were trying very hard to create new stars with this show, so they aggressively showed off Pina's flashy new blorbos (cameron, keila, bruce, and roi) but you can't force popularity. This is also my conspiracy theory for the lack of Sergio- they knew having the profesor here would take too much attention from the flashy new blorbos.

Not much to say about Camille. Was hoping she'd be cooler/smarter than this, but what kind of smart woman would not see the red flags in Andres LMAO. Wasn't surprised when Polignac turned out to be an asshole either- man just has the face of a jerk. Was disappointed that they didn't have a threesome with Andres. And the smartest person was Camille's friend.

Lastly, SAME ANON LOL Andres was an insane stalker, off the wall crazy and so annoying about it too. I wish Camille would have slapped him in the end, but oh well- at least their storyline didn't end as stupidly as it could have. She got her money at least XD Hopefully she's not dumb enough to reunite with him (and if she's wife no. 4 we know it didn't work out already).

Does the show deserve a season 2? No. Will I watch season 2? Yes LOL

Main takeaways:

Romance 1/10 Heist 7.5/10 Pedro's face 11/10 New characters 2/10 (not sharing all of their backstories or why/how they ended up in berlin's gang was a major weak point imo) Story 5/10

A solid 7/10 if we don't compare it to lcdp.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 4/11/2023

more concise than usual. don't get used to it.

listening

the trombone is an underutilized instrument in indie rock. this is a delightful music video, the vocals bother me a lot less now that i know they're deliberately going for a robotic effect.

if you liked the Killing Eve soundtrack (largely brought to you by Unloved and Junoire), that sort of very smooth lightly psych-rock flavored thinking woman's music to smoke clove cigarettes to while slouching around used bookstores, you may like this song! reading this back it sounds kind of snotty but sometimes you need a french woman main character song to make doing errands feel like being on a secret mission

i found one of their previous albums, Psycho Tropical Berlin, sort of a one-hit wonder with Hypsoline (the credits song for As Above So Below) but it really is a fucking banger

i want the album art as a shirt So Bad but not enough to pay $25 shipping from france about it.

i think this was off the spotify weekly discover playlist? can't imagine where else i would have run across it

-

reading

remember the vampire-adjacent private detective novels i was reading? not the ones from last week, the earlier ones. the author alexis hall chucks you a free short story Sand and Ruin and Gold if u sign up for his mailing list.

i think the orca comparisons are a touch heavy-handed at times, but the imagery in this thing...i really am a sucker for the rot of a coastal tourist trap. i bear no fondness, but i do give them a weary nod of acknowledgement. this town is a construct for other people to enjoy. i typed out a very long thing about how the economics of tourism shaped the town and everything about the civic calendar down to the school year, but--it was not really meant to have real residents or be a real place. there was absolutely nothing to do and nowhere to hang out without paying for anything in the off season.

It was just after closing on Reunification Day, the last of the stragglers gathered up and banished back to their world. A spiral of faded, plastic bunting from the celebrations had blown into one of the pools. I went to get a pole to hook it out but heard a splash and turned in time to see Nerites leap from the water in a gleam of skin and scales. The wind whisked the ribbon from between his fingers, and he reached after it, his body twisting sinuously in the air before he crashed into the pool again.

I’d never seen him—or any of them—move like that before. The jumps and slides we taught them were supposed to mimic their natural behaviours, but they rarely performed them spontaneously. And this was something else again: a wild leap and an ungainly splash, more beautiful to me than the most perfect bow or spin because it seemed so absolutely heedless.

He surfaced again, almost vertical, spinning in the pale-grey spray, one hand catching for the bunting’s tail. A tug, and it tumbled from the sky, nothing but a lifeless piece of string.

i am beginning to remember that all the shit that really sticks in my brain is in short stories and novellas you (general, including me) have never heard of.

-

watching

star wars resistance. i am finding this far more enjoyable than the bad batch or the mandalorian bc it has something of a storyline that it sticks to, even though most of the runtime is a teen... he's not really a teen, he was a new republic pilot so he's probably like twenty but in my heart he's like fifteen. part of the appeal of ds9 for me was a very consolidated set of recurring background characters and getting to see that there are other things/factions/people all working for their own ends. baby's first practice spy mission.

the ship design is really killer: it asks and answers the question "what if a pirate spaceship was also a galleon?"

i find myself excited to watch the next episode, which is not a familiar feeling when i watch star wars stuff. i really hope s2 holds my interest as much as s1 did.

why am i doing this? i have seen all the star wars except for: most of the LEGO stuff, most of the addendum and errata for tcw (including the crystal crisis arc), the holiday special, and most of the droids and ewoks animated shows. like i am Really scraping the bottom of the barrel here, even though i'm not really sure why this show fell into such obscurity.

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playing

a bit cranky with weird west, bc i think to get past this stealth level i will have to dismiss my companion (can't seem to knock out guards unless i'm standing up, the companion AI has a very loose definition of "staying close" and is only "invisible" if you're also crouching, and you can't direct your companion to stay put in one place OR to stay close/stay crouched permanently. i may have exhausted most of the appeal of the world on my first fifteen-hour run through the first story. i am more than a little disappointed bc i did have a fuckton of fun in those fifteen hours and was expecting the good times to continue.

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making

still halfheartedly poking away at the baby blanket, less than half a repeat this week and i don't feel like getting up, digging the blanket out of the catproof bag, and putting enough lights on for a real photo. this is repeat 7/10 tho so we are slowly approaching the end

[rubyleaf]

Went through my blog again for the funsies and discovered an old, old tag game from 2016. And boy, am I shaking my head at it. Not only is 17-year-old me hilariously and stubbornly convinced she's straight, she's also very self-deprecating and generally not in a good place.

So I thought: why not answer these questions again, over seven years later, just to see how things have changed?

So here goes. The update.

MOST RECENT:

Drink: Water! I have a glass next to me right now and I'm staying nice and hydrated :) Phone call: Mom, earlier this afternoon, to make sure I'm still healthy and haven't died from acute Moved Out And Living Unsupervised Disease. Shockingly, I'm alive and well. Text: Dad, joking about the Berlin lioness boar thing. I still refuse to believe it was a boar BTW. I don't know what it was, but those pictures do NOT look like a boar.

Song you listened to: Saosin – "You're Not Alone" Time you cried: You know, I genuinely don't remember. Might've been weeks ago. I barely cry anymore these days, except from laughter or the occasional tearing up over a heartwarming scene in a show.

Dated someone twice: No, and unless the circumstances were very special, I wouldn't. If the ship has sailed, it has sailed for a reason. Been cheated on: Single, thriving, in my lane, cannot be cheated on if I don't have a partner. Peace and love on Planet Earth. Lost someone special: Lost touch with many friends over the years. Staying in touch is still hard. But honestly, some of them turned out to not be that special after all in the first place and a lot have stayed too, so really, it's fine. Been depressed: Nah. Been drunk and thrown up: Still don't like alcohol, still don't drink ✌️ Your three favourite colours: Purple! And pink, and the third one…maybe red!

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

Made a new friend: So many. So so many. Fallen out of love: Yep! Laughed until you cried: Just this week alone! Met someone who changed you: I think so! Found out who your true friends are: Yes. And to the people who turned out not to be—thanks for making it easier to watch you leave right now. Found out someone’s talking about you: In the "bringing up my existence" way? Yes. Badly? No—someone probably did, but not my problem.

EXTRAS

How many people from your fb list do you know irl: What Facebook? Do you have any pets: Not at the moment. Hard to keep any in a dorm room. I'd like to maybe get a small dog someday though! Do you want to change your name: Not anymore. When I was little I used to hate my name because everyone kept misspelling or mispronouncing it, but now I like it even if people still get it wrong all the time. Sometimes it still feels weird and othering, in an irrational sort of way, but I can't imagine myself being called anything else. What did you do for your last birthday: Had drinks with some people from my orientation group in one guy's dorm apartment. Casually came out as bi over a game of Never Have I Ever. Wound up at a party even though I had an 8:30 AM class the next morning. Zero regrets. What were you doing last night at midnight? Sitting on my bed and hitting play on the brand-new Meet Me @ the Altar song that dropped last night!!! Name something you can’t wait for: MM@TA EU tour in October! I've been obsessed with them for two years and finally they come here to play some shows and the first time I saw the announcement I legit busted a lip in my excitement. Unfortunately not a hyperbole.

Last time you saw your mum: Last time I visited home—early May I think? What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Better executive functions so I struggle less with getting stuff done, especially uni stuff and household chores. Currently trying to do something about that, actually! If I'm really lucky I might get an ADHD diagnosis in the foreseeable future and maybe meds…? What are you listening to rn: Fall Out Boy – "We Didn't Start the Fire" Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Often. It's quite a common name where I live! What’s getting on your nerves rn: One word: THESIS. Which I for some reason struggle to do anything about. Blood type: Still unknown! Nickname: Several shorter forms of my civilian name. On here, Ruby. Zodiac Sign: Aquarius Pronouns: she/her Favourite tv show: At the moment: ATLA (and Legend of Korra), Ted Lasso, Good Omens. Probably more I'm forgetting. High school: Graduated in 2016! College: In my Masters! I have an undergraduate degree in law now :D Long or short hair: Long, down to my hips. I used to have short hair as a kid, but I’ve always wanted long hair. Height: 159 cm or 5′2.5′’. Do you have a crush on someone: I try to tell myself that no, I'm just very fond of the person. Platonically. What do you like about yourself: I'm creative and adaptable! I'm good at winging it when the situation requires it, and I usually get things figured out one way or another. I'm a hype woman for my friends, and I like the way I can find joy and excitement in all corners of life. Also, not to toot my own horn but I'm really proud of my style right now! Right or left handed: Right-handed. First surgery: None. Piercing: None. First best friend: Probably Rebecca, in first grade. It’s a shame I moved away, I wonder what she’s doing now. First sport you joined: Ballet, when I was five or six. Kept doing it until early fifth grade, then changed to horseback riding. First vacation: Probably to my grandparents’ vacation home somewhere at the North Sea. Don’t remember a thing though, I was one or something.

RIGHT NOW:

Eating: Nothing. Drinking: Water, still! I’m about to: Hopefully write a bit more for the mystery project 👀 Listening to: Meet Me @ the Altar – "Give It Up"

WANT:

Kids: Yes, eventually. I'd like a stable partner first (although if push comes to shove I wouldn't mind raising my kids solo), and most importantly I'd like to be my own person for a couple of years and not be bound by duty to everyone else. Travel, explore the world and myself, get all that out of my system so I can truly go into motherhood with no regrets. Get married: Yes, if I find the right person to do it with. Career: Study law and work for the EU or an NGO.

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes: Eyes. I don't pay much attention to lips outside of someone having a cute smile! Hugs or kisses: Kisses are nice, but I still prefer hugs! Taller or shorter: IDGAF. I still love my tall lanky noodle men, but I'm not picky. With women, even less so. Girl is taller than me? Awesome, great for being held. Shorter than me? CUTE. Older or younger: Around my age, rest doesn't matter. I'm at an age where anything between 20-30 is fair game, but any younger or older and it gets creepy. Romantic or spontaneous: A mixture of both. Nice stomach or nice arms: If the person is nice, their body will be nice too. It's an automatic process. I don't make the rules. Sensitive or loud: A combination of both! Troublemaker or hesitant: Secret third thing where they're chaotic but also too shy to really make a move.

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: Does "someone I talked to all evening but didn't know before that and didn't meet again afterwards" count? Drank liquor: Tried a bit, same as everybody. Found it nasty. Didn't try again. Lost glasses/contacts: Don't have any to lose. (Given the way I've been treating my eyes: yet?) Had sex on the first date: I'm asexual and I refuse. Broke someone’s heart: Yes, and let's leave it at that. Turned someone down: I'm a woman existing in public. Having to turn down random men is a recurring part of my experience. Cried when someone died: Not really—I seem to shut down and go blank more than anything else. I used to feel guilty about it, but now I've learned that everyone processes grief and loss differently and it doesn't mean I care less. Fallen for a friend: Yes, repeatedly, it has yet to end well, and it will probably happen again.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: Mostly yes. There are some things I need help with before I can unlock my full potential, but one thing I've learned is that I always manage in the end. And once I get proper help, I have no doubt I'll be just fine. Miracles: I don't like to rely on them, but I do believe that unlikely good things can and do happen. Love at first sight: Not for myself, I need to get to know a person before I fall for them. I do believe in attraction at first sight though. Heaven: It's a nice thought, but whether or not it exists doesn't matter to me. Our task in life is the same regardless: try to be kind and treat others well and hopefully leave the world a slightly better place. Santa Claus: No, and never really have. My parents never claimed he was real; my Christmas presents always came from the family that visited on Christmas Eve. Kissing on a first date: Did it once, it was okay. I think it's one of those "take it or leave it" things—if the chemistry is right, sure, go for it, but it's definitely not for everyone in every situation.

[diary-of-a-recovering-party-girl]

finally hybernating [18.10.2023]

Slept almost 12 hours, my body seems to still have a loooot of summer to catch up on. I thought I'd meet with G today, but she didn't text me back. I also thought I might go to Parcour classes again or I might print out these political posters but I didn't do any of it either. I stayed home all day, sewing. I didn't really feel like going outside, talking to people, doing anything outside of my warm 4 walls.

This was what I planned my winter to be about. Rest and recovery. Sewing at home, doing my homework, cooking vegetables while the sun sets earlier each day. I feel like I need that after this summer and in general. Also, I don't feel like talking to most people. I'm annoyed at G for not texting me back and also I'm annoyed at CL for not texting me back and M is in Belgium and I feel weird about meeting the group because of political events.

And because of that, I kind of don't feel like doing anything. Everything I do seems like a weird simulation, like a useless work therapy, doing things for the sake of doing things, keeping my routine to preserve the facade that everything is okay, everything is normal, my work and my studies are important, like there aren't horrible acts of terrorism happening, everything is fine. I feel useless living my little life here in Berlin, while over there, people are dying.

Again, I can't point to why this event affects me so much specifically. People are dying every day, unfortunately and I still can't do something about any of it here and I don't even try to. Now it's different. I wonder if a political event can make you legitimately depressed.

Sewing and cooking isn't where all my energy went, also. I até again so much thst my stomach hurt in the night til the next morning. While sewing, I kept playing more or less random videos on YouTube, later I tried to distract myself with Instagram videos. I'm trying to drown my feeling in food and entertainment, hoping that the sugar and the video headlines and funny jokes will scream loud enough to cover the videos that keep replaying in my head.

P has finally texted me back but I didn't look at the messages in days, because a) I want to give him my "happy self" and b) again, I don't feel like doing anything, especially talking to people, even if it's people I have a crush on.

Keeping my busy illusion is the only thing that feel a bit right right now when everything else in the world feels so wrong. "I am okay", I tell myself. "I did my homework and I even did some art, I am doing the minimum to keep going, I am keeping me and my life alive".Also, I managed to stay away from politics almost all day. This is also a way to survive mentally.

However, I feel scared. Legitimately scared of a terrorist attack happening here. I have never felt honestly scared of that, not here and not in my hometown, not even 2016- 2017, when a newspaper didn't get printed if it didn't have the word "terror" in the headline. I simply didn't think about, kept going to events and concerts and festivals. Now, I hear the police sirens I hear every day and wonder how far they are from me. I am mentally preparing myself for the next attack, here, in Germany, in Berlin.

The only time I left my house was in the evening to go for a run. I couldn't run all the 10kms I planned and I don't feel well- prepared for the half marathon on the weekend but I never felt prepared for any run I ever did.

On the way back, I did catch a headline of a news paper displayed at a kiosk stand. Not about Gaza, something else, something about sustainability. I don't think I ever felt that relieved to read the word "Klima- Kleber".

[aci32]

WACKEN OPEN AIR 2023 PART I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey ladies and germs, here's my 8th review/annual summer festival blog, Wacken Open Air!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was my 8th time going to the holy land and 2nd consecutive year going to the holy land in the post covid era and I have to say, this was definitely an extraordinary Wacken given how the weather absolutely sucked this year round compared to last year, since last year was hot and dusty most of the time but only rained enough to wash away the dust. This year round it was persistent rain and mud, and the mud was so bad for a lot of cars, tractors had to get called in with winches to tow the cars out of the mud as the tractors themselves have tires that are equipped for the quicksand-esque mud, ill highlight I never saw that in 2015, 2016, and 2017, so this was new to me. Plus the other thing that was new was the organizers having to reduce the crowd from 85,000 to 50,000 due to the persistent heavy rain and mud making a large swathe of campgrounds unusable, so this was another thing I don't recall seeing in 2015, yet I thought 2015 was worse, but in this case 2023 Wacken was a mix of 2005, 2012, and 2015, but chock full of steroids. It was also my first Wacken Open Air on a heavy heart since I was still reeling from the death of my friend Elouise 3 weeks earlier at the time I entered Wacken on the Monday, so I dedicated Wacken and my Euro Trip to her as knowing her it's what she would've wanted since she had a zest for travel, food, and music. This was also the first Wacken I went to where it's gone from being a 3 day festival to a 4 day festival. I also dedicated Wacken and my trip to Walter Froebrich as well since he had died back in November and his death was still fresh on my mind.

Let's begin the festivities!

I got to Esther's place the day before Monday after I left Brussels to change trains in Cologne and then get to Hamburg, and then book myself a train going to Itzehoe, in which I got there at a reasonable time. I was then picked up at Itzehoe Hauptbahnhof by Esther's neighbour, in which Esther and I would go to her neighbours place for coffee and cake. Bibi and Dan came to hang out at Esther's place for a bit, and when we all got the news we had to be at Edeka at 5 in the morning, Esther and I made an agreement to pull an all nighter and I just thought to myself "Fuck it, I'm not gonna let all nighter induced fatigue get me down" and it was an hour earlier compared to last year when all of us had to be down by 6. Bibi, Esther, Dan and I also partook in giving passing cars the horns who were going to Wacken, and the drivers would honk back and give the horns back in kind, which I thought was awesome. I did enjoy Esther's delicious Chili Con Carne for a 2nd consecutive year and as well the gathering at her place was smaller and quieter with just Esther, Elke and I.

Monday July 31st: Elke, Esther and I go to Edeka and it was once again a reunion of the other Crüe members in Rabih, Ian, Sandy and her bf Max Rohrbeck, Krücky, Kutscher, Diana, Mischa and as well meeting Mischa's gf (however her name is spelt) seeing Spike for the first time in half a decade albeit this time with me having slimmed down, Sarah, Bas and Boudewijn, Aurora, Håvard, and meeting Aurora and Håvard's friend Jenny, and meeting Ian's friend from the Volunteer state aka Tennessee, Steven or his real name being Sven, and as well to see Janis a 2nd time, even though he and I hung out in Berlin on my 3rd night there after I had supper with my friend Christian, and it was a nice reunion and a great way to catch up with the lot. After waiting for a good while, we finally got the go ahead to go to Rendsburger and set up camp, which we all did and thank you Elke for the spare tent. Since we all arrived early, I had to wait awhile for merch to open and get my locker, so I took a nice long nap as all nighter induced fatigue finally caught up with me. After I woke up, I got myself a t-shirt and skipped the hoodie because A. Hoodies are pricey and B. My dresser drawers are running low on space from the Wacken hoodies I bought in the past, so I have to be mindful of the space. After I got my shirt, I got my locker and put away my passport and valuables and returned to camp. Later in the day, Andreas and his brother arrived, so it was nice to see them and further later on that day, got to sample the first half of Bas' southern BBQ themed cooking in spare ribs, which were absolutely tasty, so thank you Bas for the delicious food. Late afternoon to early in the evening, the Aussies finally arrived after dealing with so much travel, bus, and weather related horseshit, so got to have a brief reunion with Nikki once again, great to see Capsy for the first time in 4 years, had a nice reunion with Jason and met his girlfriend Jaz, and after a half decade absence, finally got to see Laura again as well. When nightfall entered, it became on and off torrential downpours, but eventually it calmed down at midnight or after midnight. It was also at this time I went with Esther down to Rendsburger and after having a couple shots of Scotch and a couple beers, I drank a couple more shots this time of Jägermeister with Kai and his friends, then a few mins later tried Mexicana's, which is the German version of a Bloody Mary and those hit the spot. Also met an Aussie named Dave Prentice or he told us to call him by his surname since theres a lot of Daves down under. Then after hanging out at the Rendsburger tent and having a couple more shots and smoking a couple of joints with Esther, I retreated back to my own tent and went to sleep.

Tuesday August 1st: I woke up early but that was because Mother Nature called me and I had to answer her, so I then retreated back to my tent and slept some more and didn't get out of my tent until noon since the rain and mud made me feel rather lethargic. I was nursing a wee hangover in the form of a dull headache, but it was manageable. I don't remember much happening on the Tuesday aside from meeting more Aussies in Jake and Amanda, and having the second half of Bas' southern BBQ themed cooking in the form of having Pulled Pork, which was tasty, so once again thank you Bas for more awesome food. I also now remember Tuesday was the day that the organizers had to cut off the amount of people and cars coming in since the capacity had been up to 50,000, and fellow Crüe member Connel became an unfortunate victim of the 35,000 to be told not to enter the holy land, which was a bummer among all of us. Then a few joints smoked with Esther and Max Neukirch later, I went to sleep.

Wednesday August 2nd: The day when the bands could finally play, although it took a long ass while for the Gates to open, and during that time of waiting was when the fish people game was happening near our camp. When I finally entered the gates, there was the Lemmy parade with a big rig/lorry blasting it's airhorn and having the snaggletooth artwork on the grill as it lead the charge. After the parade was done, I could finally walk to the Louder stage.

First band I saw after that long delay was Skew Siskin. I'd never heard this band before but from what I saw they weren't too shabby, and they did a cover of 3 Motörhead songs in Iron Fist, Stay Clean, and No Class. Apparently, Skew Siskin and Motörhead toured a bunch of times back in the day, so that explains them paying tribute to Lemmy.

After Skew Siskin it was time for NERVOSA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was my 2nd time catching this all female death/thrash band as I saw them last May as direct support for Destruction and I remember they were awesome but they had a different lineup at the time as it was ¼ Brazil 🇧🇷 for guitarist and sole founding member Prika Amaral and ¾ Mediterranean Europe: Greece 🇬🇷 for drummer Eleni Nota, Italy 🇮🇹 for bassist Mia Wallace, and Spain 🇪🇸 for frontwoman Diva Satanica. This time around it's ¼ Brazil 🇧🇷 in which Prika Amaral is doing both guitar and vocals, ½ Greek 🇬🇷 for guitarist Helena Kotina and bassist Hel Pyre, and ¼ Bulgaria 🇧🇬 with drummer Mihaela Naydonova. I'll also say Prika Amaral's vocals were nothing short of awesome. When she would speak in between songs she thanked all of us for coming to watch Nervosa's set and acknowledging we all went through hell with the rain and mud, she also spoke about mental illness and depression going on in the world, etc. The thing that was a letdown was Nervosa had to cut their set short so I blame Skew Siskin for going on first, shit weather, and supreme disorganization and lack of communication from the organizers. Here's what Nervosa's setlist looked like:

Seed of Death(Live premiere)Play Video

Perpetual ChaosPlay Video

Death!Play Video

Masked BetrayerPlay Video

Kill the SilencePlay Video

Kings of DominationPlay Video

Endless AmbitionPlay Video

Under Ruins

After Nervosa were finished, I then advanced towards the infield where the Faster and Harder stages met, and once the Gates were opened at the request of Thomas Jensen, everyone started advancing to the stage, I was under the impression Holy Moses were going to play the Faster Stage but lo and behold they didn't, instead it was time for Skindred. I never got into this band a lot when I was growing up but from what I saw live they had a great live performance. Frontman Benji Webbe knows how to fire up the crowd with his energy and his antics. In between songs he got all of us to raise the bird finger and say "Fuck you Clifford" in reference to Benji's older brother Clifford for chastising Benji as Benji wanted to be a singer in a metal band. Only song I'm familiar with is Nobody since it has the chorus of "Nobody gets out alive".

After Skindred got finished, I took a long break and hung out at my locker, and after my break I returned to the Headbangers Stage and got to see PENTAGRAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was my first time seeing them and I'm not familiar with their studio material, but I did like their live show especially with Bobby Liebling's onstage antics of him making funny faces during the guitar solos and as well in between songs the crowd chanting "Bobby, Bobby" he shook his ass in front of the crowd to pantomime the chant. He also was asking the crowd what type of world we are living in and then kicked into the song "Dying World". I'll also highlight that off the stage, Bobby Liebling is a troubled man due to his past history of drug abuse mainly with crack and heroin and as well having an assault against a vulnerable person conviction and serving a year and a half in prison for assaulting his 87 year old Mother 6 years ago. Pentagram certainly did provide a nice closing night to the Wednesday and here's what their setlist looked like:

Death RowPlay Video

All Your SinsPlay Video

Review Your ChoicesPlay Video

The GhoulPlay Video

Sign of the Wolf (Pentagram) / SinisterPlay Video

Be ForewarnedPlay Video

When the Screams ComePlay Video

Dying WorldPlay Video

Devil's PlaygroundPlay Video

RelentlessPlay Video

Broken VowsPlay Video

Relentless (Reprise)Play Video

Last Days HerePlay Video

WartimePlay Video

Forever My QueenPlay Video

20 Buck Spin(Snippet)

After Pentagram I bumped into Nikki, Rabih, and Capsy and we all saw the drones displaying Doro's logo, and as well drones making Lemmy's face and as well the Ace of Spades to further memorialize Lemmy. We then got some food and I returned to camp and went to sleep for the night.

Thursday August 3rd:

I once again got out of my tent late morning early afternoon, and don't remember much in the socializing thing as there was lots going on, except for getting a Hot Dog with Lena before I ventured out into the infield and it definitely came in handy as I needed fuel to last me for the day.

I get into the infield and I saw Uriah Heep playing some of their last songs and I remember they sounded great. They played 4 years ago, but the infield was packed to the brim and I was busy watching Primordial, so it was no big loss.

After Uriah Heep it was time for: "Icey water on my hands" who? "Hearts on Fire, Hearts on Fire, Burning Burning with desire" what? "Let the Hammer... FALL" one more time? HAMMERFALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was my 6th time seeing them, 3rd time seeing them play Wacken, and first time seeing them twice in a year. These lads are always a treat to see live, for me at least as their shows are not only energetic and electric, but Joacim Cans is a joker in between songs as he said "If you raise your hand in school, you don't speak. But if you raise it at a metal show, you make as much fucking noise as possibe" and the crowd did just that. Also when Joacim was introducing the band and after he introduced Frederik Larsson he said to him in a calm and funnier tone of what Gordon Ramsay screams at chefs fucking up on Hells Kitchen "Now fuck off". Here's their setlist:

Intro

BrotherhoodPlay Video

Any Means NecessaryPlay Video

The Metal AgePlay Video

Hammer of DawnPlay Video

Blood BoundPlay Video

RenegadePlay Video

Venerate MePlay Video

Last Man StandingPlay Video

Hero's Return / On the Edge of Honour / Riders of the Storm / Crimson ThunderPlay Video

Let the Hammer FallPlay Video

Glory to the BravePlay Video

(We Make) Sweden RockPlay Video

Encore:

Hammer HighPlay Video

Hearts on FirePlay Video

Dreams Come True

End of Part I, stay tuned for Part II that will involve Kreator, Helloween, Megadeth, Maiden, Wardruna, etc

[whumblr]

Bloodcurling screams outside my window:  👀

They’re from the local fair:  😞

[auriel187]

The More Things Change (S1 E5)

Word Count: 3142

Series Masterlist

A/N: If anyone doesn't like the fact that the oc is black, go away.

Sitting in Mr. Feeny's classroom, I had been sketching for the past ten minutes while Shawn was using my class notes to do the worksheets. "I have graded last week's geography examination... and the highest score was achieved by..." but he was interrupted by Cory.

"Minkus. Was it achieved by Minkus? Does it go to Minkus? Minkus, right?" The curly haired boy exclaimed and Shawn looked over at him and turned back to my notes. "Mr. Minkus." Mr. Feeny confirmed my crazy friend's theory.

"That's a shock." Cory rolled his eyes as Shawn took my sketchbook off my desk and stared at the unfinished images. He smiled at them even though they weren't that good. He pinched my cheek when he handed it back to me.

"Thank you, Mr. Feeny. Your bonus question was a real stumper." I heard Minkus say and I rolled my eyes. Shawn threw a rolled up piece of paper at the shorter blonde's head.

"Miss Owens, excellent. Mr. Baker, very nice. Mr. Matthews... Well, there it is." Mr. Feeny said as he continued passing the tests around. Shawn didn't even care when he got his test back. "Miss Archer, remarkable work." My teacher said to me as he placed my test over my sketch book. A large A marked the top of my paper.

"A "C"? But I actually studied for this test. Why did I get a "C"?" Cory asked exhaustedly. "Let's see. Where to begin. Well, for one thing, Mr. Matthews... this section of the map is not East Germany." I kept drawing, my little sketch turning into a super heroine with a glamorous dress. She kind of looked like Storm.

"It's not?" Cory sounded baffled.

"Perhaps you heard of a little incident... with the Berlin Wall?" I looked over at Cory as he pondered the answer. "Was that during baseball season?" I rolled my neck before I leaned forward.

"There is no East Germany anymore, Cory." I whispered. That did absolutely nothing to ease his confusion.

"But the textbook says it's right next to West Germany." He looked between our teacher and myself.

"Yes, well, the textbook also says that Alaska and Hawaii... will make fine states someday. Things change, Mr. Matthews. Unfortunately, the Board of Education... doesn't have the funds to keep up." Mr. Feeny explained as he continued handing out the tests.

"Then how am I supposed to keep up?" Cory asked. "Watch the news. Pay attention in class. Look at the mimeographs I give you... before you turn them into paper airplanes." Just as he said that, Shawn took his now folded test and had it glide into Minkus's head.

"Ow." The scrawny blonde muttered monotonously.

"What good would it do? They keep changing geography. Why can't it be like all the other subjects? Math... 2 plus 2 is always 4. Uh, science... the Earth always goes around the Sun. History... Lincoln always gets shot in the head." Cory finished his monologue by throwing his hands in the air.

"Lincoln got off easy." I chuckled.

"You'd be surprised what people used to think about the earth." I laughed to myself, I could feel a few eyes turn to me.

The day went on without much chaos but I suppose that was wishful thinking, when I started packing up the last of my stuff when Mr. Feeny stood in the middle of the class. "All right, heads up. In these last few moments of class... I want to make an announcement... about this year's regional geography tournament. As some of you may know, for the past five years... I have always fielded a champion... and I expect to do the same this year. So, based on his outstanding scholastic achievement... I have selected as this year's entrant..." But Cory interrupted him similar to how he'd done earlier.

"Minkus. Have you selected Minkus?"

"Isn't Sunshine smarter than Minkus?" Shawn whispered to Cory who just shrugged and looked over at me.

"Mr. Minkus. And this year's first prize will be..." This time Minkus interrupted.

"A Mercator projection pull-down wall map?"

"No. Uh... This year's winner will be bat boy... at the opening game of the World Series."

I looked up at Mr. Feeny then at my boys. "Did you hear that?" Cory asked Shawn and I.

"Yeah. So?" Shawn looked completely unbothered. I had given him my sketch book and now he was colouring in all the stupid ugly little things I had drawn.

"So I'm seeing my dream come true here." Cory pleaded his case and I tried to suppress my smile at his enthusiasm as I looked over Shawn's shoulder to see how he was colouring it in. He cheekily pushed me away, attempting to keep it secret.

"Oh, right. Like Feeny's going to take you... to the geography tournament. You didn't even know... they tore down the Berlitz Wall." Shawn mumbled still colouring.

"Berlin wall, Shawnie." I mutter.

He didn't look up at me when he said "You did it again, Sunshine." I could hear the smile in his voice. Cory gagged.

+=+=+=+=+

Shawn had his arm over my shoulders as we as a group essentially kidnapped Minkus and brought him to Cory's house.

"Mom, have you met my good friend Minkus?" Cory hollered as he entered the kitchen. Everyone aside from Minkus had a fake smile plastered on our faces.

"It's nice to meet you, Minkus?" She smiled down at the blonde boy.

"Call my mother." Minkus says fearfully.

"What?" Mrs. Matthews looked at the rest of us. Shawn looked down at me. He gave me a little shove and I looked at Amy.

"He's a little nervous, Mrs. Matthews. We're gonna take him upstairs now." I say quickly. The boys led Minkus upstairs as I slowly walked up with the seven books they had me carrying.

"I'm glad you could come over, Minkus." I heard Cory say as I huffed into the room.

"Real nice to be here. Can I go now?" Minkus pleaded.

"Chill." ELlis said to Minkus, pushing him onto Cory's bed.

"I don't understand what that means." Minkus looked around the room but I was too busy trying to place the books on the desk Cory and Eric had in the back of the room.

"It means that out of every four people is a nerd. So when you look around this room... and you don't see one, you're it." Shawn responded. Just as I toppled over with the books. I looked over to see all four boys looking at me. "Or you're the embodiment of pure Sunshine." Shawn told Minkus before picking up the books for me.

"Thanks, Pup." I thanked him as I went and sat down on Eric's bed.

"But we can help you change." Ellis said as he shook his head to continue the conversation.

"Maybe I like how I am." Minkus tried to reason.

"You like everyone always making fun of you?" Ellis asked, to which Minkus said no.

"You like always being the last one picked for teams?" Cory asked and again, Mikus said no.

"You like everyone pulling your underwear up your butt all the time?" Shawn asked and Minkus replied with "It's not so bad." Everyone groaned in disgust.

"Minkus, let us help you." Shawn added a fake sincerity to his voice, I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"We're here for you, man." Ellis encouraged...or discouraged based on which way you look at it.

"It's early in the year. You can still change your image." Cory spoke calmly. These guys were starting to remind me of the guy from those infomercials. The ones that try to get you to be strange things you don't really need.

"What do I do?" Minkus looked over at me.

"The geography tournament... you don't want to do it. It'll brand you for life." I leaned forward on the bed to face the blond.

"But I love geography, my Ethiopian queen. I'm drawn by the adventure and exoticism of it. Hey. Perhaps you fellows would like to join... the Future Cartographers of America Club with me." He looked right at me as I leaned further back on the bed, shaking my head.

"Let it go, man." Ellis pleaded.

"If I don't do the tournament, will you guys like me?" Minkus asked.

"No." We all said unanimously.

"Then I don't see what's in it for me." Minkus crossed his arms over his chest.

"All right, name your price, you little creep." Shawn leered threateningly over the desk.

"I want a kiss from Raven-Anniya." Minkus said simply. I moved further away from him.

"Not happening." Shawn moved to stand beside me. Ready to attack in my honour, hence why I call him puppy. Well one of the many.

"Let the lady decide for herself." Minkus replied, confident in his charm.

"Not in a million years." I spoke plainly. Shawn squeezed my shoulder before he turned to Minkus.

"When you guys play Bombardment... could you not aim the ball at my head anymore?" Minkus negotiated, we all turned to Cory.

"Deal." The curly haired boy nodded. Shawn laid down on Eric's bed alongside me.

"What's the point of playing if we can't throw the ball at his head?" Ellis whined.

+=+=+=+=+

The boys and I were watching as Minkus walked over to our teacher. Shawn was sitting on my desk, trying to solve my Rubik's cube. Cory gagged when we smiled at each other when he got it. I told him he could.

"Mr. Feeny, I'm afraid I must tender my resignation from the geography tournament." Minkus excitedly said to Mr. Feeny.

"Mr. Minkus, I'm aware that the changing geopolitical face of the globe offers a difficult challenge." Mr. Feeny conceded as Shawn and I started to slowly slip out of the classroom. We were at the door just out of sight so we could still hear everything. Not that we were listening.

"You have dance class later, Sunshine?" He was twirling the end of my hair. I look over at him and he's leaning against the wall. I chuckled.

"Yes, Shawnie." I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Am I walking you there?" He asked, looking at my hair as he continued twisting it around his fingers.

"Depends on if you want to. You could have dinner with us. We might have tacos tonight." I replied.

"I'm not sure, I wouldn't want to disturb you guys." He was still playing with my hair. He's so weird.

"I mean, if you want to come for dinner I'm sure Brianna would be happy to let you have dinner with us." I said with a smile.

"What dance class do you have tonight?" He looked at me.

"I have hip hop, Pup." I elbowed him on the ribs.

"Why do you call me pup?" Shawn pondered out loud, my hair curling at the end of his finger. I looked at him oddly.

"You're loyal, you're playful and you have puppy eyes." I poked him on the forehead between his eyes. He smiled and pushed his forehead forward. We stayed silent. I peered into the classroom to see Feeny and Minkus just at the door.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. Minkus. You were the only student I ever had who could locate Thrace on a map of the ancient world." Mr. Feeny said openly. He was baiting Minkus, I knew it.

Ah, that's easy. Just go north from the Aegean and... I know what you're doing, Mr. Feeny and it isn't going to... ain't going to work." Minkus concluded and walked out the door colliding with Shawn and I.

"I shall miss you, Mr. Minkus. I only wish I knew... how I was going to replace you." We waited a few minutes before walking away. If Mr. Feeny didn't throw Cory out immediately, the plan was a success.

"So...Home for tacos, Pup?" I adjusted my books in my hand before Shawn took them from me.

"Sure thing...Princess?" He tried testing a new nickname, but I hate it!

"No!" I shook my head. "If you ever call me that again, I will never talk to you ever!" He held his hands up in surrender.

"Deal...I didn't like it either. I'm just trying to even us out." I just poked him and we went to my house.

+=+=+=+=+

We walked up to the door and I immediately started taking off my shoes. "I like that you take off your shoes." Shawn said as he copied me, careful not to drop my books that he was still holding. I chuckled.

"Thanks, Pup." I replied and he smiled and followed me in. We went to the kitchen, immediately placing our bags on the floor and our books on the table. I caught Shawn observing little things I did on the daily. I don't know why he did it but I think it's funny.

"What are you going to do first?" Shawn asked, looking at all the books I had on the table. I looked at all of them before choosing math. "Aww math. I hate math!" The blue eyed boy whined.

"Why?" I asked.

"It's boring. I don't like being bored." He answered, scratching at something in his book. I laughed about it for a second before my brain started doing that thing it does that I hate. I must've looked nuts, jumping from the table and running to my room and returning with my DSM-III and a stopwatch.

"I want to do some tests." I exclaimed. Moving my chair to sit directly in front of him.

"On me?" He asked fearfully. I nodded. I wasn't easing his anxiety at all.

"You'll be fine. Just look at me." I squeezed his face. When our eyes locked, I started the stopwatch. He kept eye contact for a few seconds before he started to drift away temporarily. He was still technically looking at me but he easily turned his focus on something else. I stopped the stopwatch when he looked at the table.

One minute, thirty six seconds.

"What was the test for?" He asked, frantically looking for something under his books.

"I'll tell you when I'm done, what are you looking for?" I asked.

"My button." He crawled under the table.

"The button that popped off your shirt earlier?" I asked.

"Yeah, I was gonna ask if my mom could sew it back on." He was now on the other side of the table.

"Pup, come here." And he did. I reached into the pocket of his shirt and pulled out his button. "You put it there so you wouldn't forget about it."

"Oh..." He lowered his head sheepishly.

He jumped away from me when the front door opened, Brianna and Jazmyne entering the house.

"Hi, Raven. How was your day?" Brianna asked, not fully paying attention as she headed to the fridge to get dinner started.

"It was okay. Cory's being weird and I'm trying to see if Shawn has ADD/H. Speaking of which, can he stay for tacos?" I said quickly.

"Sure. Just as long as his parents say it's okay." Jazmyne mocked her mother only to receive one of Brianna's deadly glares.

"Yes, Shawn can stay. But stop treating the boy like a lab rat." I shook my head.

"I'm trying to help. Maybe I can find a way to make learning fun and help bring up his grades." I say before seeing Shawn looking at my riddle problem sheets with genuine intrigue. He's a lot smarter than he gives himself credit for. "Math time, Hunter."

He groaned, throwing his head back. "I don't wanna."

"I'll make it fun, I promise." He rolled his eyes.

"Okay, close your eyes." I say. As he does, I grab some cake. We were learning about measurements, fractions and geometric shapes...also it's Shawn and he responds well to cake.

"Okay, Shawnie. I have a cake with a radius of 4.5 inches. What's the diameter?"

He looked at the cake for a few seconds. "Is the diameter the half line or the around line?" He asked.

"The diameter is the line that would cut the cake in half, the circumference is the outline of the cake." I explained and he read my math notes.

"Nine inches?" He didn't sound sure but he was putting in an honest effort.

"Correct!" I say, cutting the cake. It came out in a nice neat triangular slice. "Now, if the entire cake is 360 degrees and this slice is 30...ish degrees, how many even slices can we make?"

+=+=+=+=+

"I thought we were going to the park?" Shawn whined, clutching an old basketball.

"Come on, man, you're studying too much. The teachers are starting to notice." Ellis said in a judgmental tone.

"Yeah, they're calling you a good student. They're saying you have potential." I said sarcastically. Not sarcastic in regards to what they said but in regards to the fact that it's a bad thing. Not that Cory was listening.

"Wow! The highest and lowest points in the continental United States are only miles apart... Death Valley and Mount Whitney. I find that extraordinary." Cory stated, clutching a magnifying glass and sniffling.

"Extraordinary?" I said in shock. The last time I heard Cory say a word that long was when we tried to sing Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

"He's mutating, man." Ellis turned to Shawn and I. I could see the little gears in Shawn's head turning as he picked up a pine cone and threw it at Cory's head.

"Ow." Cory sounded like Minkus. I jumped back quickly. Oh, that's terrifying. I grabbed Shawn's hand to head to the park when I saw Minkus walking into Cory's backyard wearing a horrendous pair of giant yellow pants.

"Hey, dudes. What's up?" He asked and Ellis decided that it wasn't worth losing his sanity to stay here.

"Too Weird for me. I'm out of here." Shawn pulled with him as he headed to our park.

When we got there we noticed that there were a few people here with their young children. We walked to the basketball net. "Is there a reason why you told me to bring this?" Holding his basketball.

"We're going to work on spelling today." I say and he groans but tosses me the ball. "Lucrative. L-U-C-R-A-T-I-V-E." for every letter I dribbled the ball. I toss the ball back to Shawn. "You got this, Pup. Lucrative. Spell it or shoot it." I pointed to the net.

We stayed out here for hours and to no one's surprise, Shawn took shots more than he spelled the words but again, he tried. That's all that mattered to me.

He may not win an international spelling bee, but he did the best he could.

[guigz1-coldwar]

"Your version of the truth": New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out!

Chapter Summary: Two days after Yirina & the others arrived back in West Berlin, everyone is still trying to find out the true goals of Perseus in the city as Yirina discovers a little something from Park before confronting Hudson...

To read it on AO3, click here!

Words : +3000

Taglist: @snowgoldwaylon , @clxudtea , @efingart, @chrystallenex

----------------------------------------------------------------------

22nd August, it's been now two days that I was back with the others in West Berlin, living at the worst place I never wanted to go back in my life, the 'Die Landebahn' safehouse, called 'E9' for the CIA. This wasn't the best feeling to walk inside those walls, knowing that this place changed me & everyone else to the bones but I somehow managed to keep my head clean & avoid making this place mess up with my head, hearing the voices of my past haunting me at some moments, I couldn't stop everything but I was managing stay calm, the others also doing the same.

Still, it was weird to see this place again, no longer like a prison in my head, remembering it when I escaped Verdansk with the others trying to save me from dying on a surgical bed. It was weird, everyone knew what happened here, even Katinka & Liliya but we were all trying to avoid talking about it to each other as if we wanted those events to never be mentioned again, all trying to focus on a lot of things not linked to the past of this place, everyone getting useful into what they were doing the best.

For the past two days, I was working a lot with Park on my domain: cryptography. It's been a while that I wasn't able to do what I'm good at and it felt good when I got to decrypt the first few transmissions we were intercepting thanks to Liliya & Katinka help, the two were tasked by Hudson to help us be faster in our process but also to get into town & get news from the other CIA safehouses, sometimes helped on their side by Lazar & Woods, both tasked to maintain our equipment on order and Woods was doing great...if we count the few times he was making fun of Hudson.

Today was like the two others days, trying to find out what Perseus is planning in West Berlin but we could only make a little progress to know what was going on, just knowing now that Kitsune, the Perseus agent was in town & ready to strike a CIA asset somewhere. We just needed to know what, why, how & when that was going to happen but there were something that was bothering me: Hudson promised me & Park to get the files of my parents died and we got nothing, this was something I was going to talk to him once he comes back after being away almost all day out.

Right now, I was just finished eating something quick after working on the last messages of the day before I decide to get some rest back at the dorm but also because Park went earlier to the dorm. I was opening the closed door of it before finding Park with her back turned against me, nothing on her top.

"Oh!" I gasped at her sight a bit loud for my thought before I move back, keeping the door handle around my left hand, leaving a bit of space inside.

"Who's there?" I could hear Park's worried voice, having heard the door almost shutting down and me, standing behind it.

"It's me," I announced myself, my voice sounding like a shy girl, I was even looking away back to the main room's direction to see if nobody was coming. "It's me, Park," I repeated, raising a bit my voice than before.

"Oh...you can come in," She proposed to me, sounding relieved that it was her love behind the door.

"You got a shirt on?" I asked her, blushing at seeing her naked back a few seconds ago, I was respecting her privacy even if we're together.

"Wait..." She said, letting seconds happen while I was staying at my position, waiting for her. "You can come in now," She told me, bringing me to open the door of the dorm. Park was standing next to her bed with a smile, having put a shirt on. "Hey, Yiri, you're alright?" She demanded.

"I'm good, all good," I affirmed, smiling back at her before my eyes got focused on what was on her bed, seeing a set of green camo military clothes disposed over it. "Are those to you?" I questioned her, pointing towards the clothes.

"Yeap," She replied with a nod.

"Really?" I moved up next to her bed, filled with my curiosity to get a closer look. The clothes were very looking to be military, mostly British and among those, there was a red beret between the big vest & a gun holster. "Yours?" I asked again.

"Yes, I managed to call London yesterday, to bring us some equipment, they decide to give me back one of my old gear and you can see it now," I remembered now that she got allowed to call London & get some new equipment for us but also for Lazar. "This was part of my training for the MI6, even used it back for a few of my missions," She added as I went to look at the vest & the beret together.

"Paratroopers?" I got curious, seeing the stitched badge with wings on the vest and the ensign on the beret.

"Part of the training, we got trained by one of the British Airborne division, they allowed us to keep the equipment," She told me and to say, that was giving me a little reason of why I was loving her so much, I still discover more of her before I see her taking the beret in her hands and put it on her head. "It's making me the feeling of fighting with the Red Devils,"

"You're very beautiful with it," I complimented her, the beret looking to add a nice touch to her, she was still looking lovely without it.

"You should see me with the whole set," She scoffed, removing her beret to get it back on the bed by gently posing it. "I'm going to wear it for the next mission, I'll surely give you one of my outfits for it," She proposed and I could give her a grin on this proposal.  "Maybe my brown leather jacket, I remember you loved that one," She said, me trying to remember that outfit she's talking and it took me a few seconds to get a clear image of it.

"This would be very nice, my dear," I declared, taking a strong British accent that was sounding more real than I thought before I decides to sit down behind me, just on my bed. "To change a bit, I didn't get anything interesting from the last messages," I announced, taking this time a serious voice. "They seem to be aware that we're listening to their transmissions,"  I thought, moving my hands over my lap, Park still standing on her side of her bed.

"Do you think that they might cancel their ops?" She asked me.

"No," I shook my head. "If that Kitsune got every safehouse unsure in the city, they likely want to be sure that nothing will get to oppose them for their operation," I explained my few fears on this, thinking that what Perseus has planned here, it can help them a lot. "A CIA asset in their sight, a hacker hired by Perseus, Stitch in control...something isn't right,"

"Me too," Park muttered, going to sit on the side, her left hand on her lap, the other over the military vest.

"There's also that Hudson didn't give us the file like he promised since we got here," I added at this, my eyes moving away to the door when I start to hear some loud voices coming through the door. "Speaking of the devil..." I murmured, already thinking that Hudson was back from his trip out of the safehouse. "I might going to see him now, you're coming?" I proposed to her, already getting up from the bed.

"You can go now, I'll join you, I just need to get myself dress properly for the remaining of the day," She replied, leaning herself towards the side of her bed to grab something that was on the ground: her bag.

"Okay...see you in a minute then," I told her, having approached her before moving to kiss her on the top of her head. Her reaction was to blush & smile at me as I went away from her, ready to see Hudson.

Now that Hudson was back here at what I could hear from here, my only thoughts at the moment were to know why the file he promised us is not coming to our desk and that I can discover the full extents & thoughts about what happened this day, why the CIA did this to my parents & the reasons that this detail was kept in the dark for so long. I just want the truth but I can't know it because some people are trying to hide the truth from me, seeming to make me look at their version of the truth instead...

Hudson's own words...and I'm thinking about them, using them in my thoughts. It wasn't good to acknowledge that at the moment. I just want the damn truth, not his truth, not the CIA's truth, the real truth of that day and he's going to give me that file...to me & Park. As I arrived in the main room, Lazar & Woods talking on their side at where was Park's old desk, now their workspace while Liliya & Katinka were out in the town, Hudson was at his desk, having his jacket removed to reveal his white shirt & black tie, his usual attire.

"Hudson," I spoke up, arriving at his sight near his desk, my voice showing directly that it wasn't going to be a fun discussion.

"Not now, Grigoriev, I need to..."

"There's no time to discuss with you or what?" I cut him straight, avoiding him to finish and get me away, even putting the palms of my hands on his desk. "We need to talk and you know that," I affirmed.

"What about?" He asked me, curious.

"I don't know...maybe the file about my parents," I reminded him, seeing quickly Lazar & Woods having their gaze turned at me, checking them for a second before moving back on Hudson. "Where is it?" I demanded, now clenching my fists on his desk.

"Listen," He started, moving his hands towards me, gesturing to me to calm down.

"I'm all ears, tell me why you can't keep your promise," I told him in a sure voice as I saw Park arriving back in the main room, fully dressed casually, already moving towards us. "And you might not give us false hopes, we don't like that,"

"What's happening?" Woods asked loudly.

"Hudson not keeping his promises," Park responded, coming next to me as she crosses her arms at Hudson over her chest and it was some words that got Lazar & Woods to get interested by coming at us too.

"You're not involved, you two," Hudson protested at the two coming near us, sending like a warning.

"If you can't keep your promises, you know well that we come, remember?" Woods said, raising an eyebrow at Hudson who was now facing me, Park, Lazar & Woods all standing up as he was the one sitting on his chair. "So, tell them what they want to know," He ordered, causing me to look at Park as I wasn't sure about making the two learn about what was at stake here.

"It's okay," She whispered silently to me and I quickly nodded.

"Okay, okay!" Hudson raised his voice, seeming alone against the four of us as he removes his sunglasses for a short moment to pass his hands through his face. "Black changed his mind about the file,"

"He changed his mind?" I repeated.

"Yes, he said that giving away the file to foreign hands could end badly, he fears that you might turn your back on all of us," He revealed...so, Black is an asshole...he's willing to give the file and then, he doesn't...fucking asshole.

"And like that, you're letting this happen?" Park demanded.

"No, I'm trying to get him to change his mind about this, telling him that Grigoriev is on our side since the beginning, he won't listen." He protested, sounding sure of his thoughts...either trying to save himself or say the truth...I can't tell. "It's my words against the one of the president!"

"Reagan?" Lazar narrowed his eyes at this, confused about this. "What is president Reagan doing here?"

"Black's orders are Reagan orders: he's still thinking that you're in our control, that you can't be let out of control," Hudson explained, giving me a sight on the American president...very nice to know that the president is like Black. "Because of this, I can't do a thing to get the file here,"

"So, you're saying that the CIA can topple governments, supply rebels against the Russians & support the West agencies but they can't handle to give a file to someone?" Woods wasn't believing that story of Hudson, briefly resuming the CIA's doings all over the world, good to have him speak out my thoughts sometimes with the others. "Come on, you're better than this," He sighed, making a front wave with his right hand towards Hudson.

"For Black, giving that file is the only way to keep her under control," Hudson argued.

"So, you still see her as Bell, Hudson?" Lazar moved in, giving a not-happy look to his face. "She went through hell, got back to you for months, got along with everyone and it's not enough to convince that she's one of yours?"

"I didn't say anything like this, Azoulay," Hudson told him, pointing his finger at Lazar with a half-angered look. "You're maybe taking me as an asshole for not telling the truth..."

"Yeah, because you want people to see the things in your way, see them your version of the truth, remember?" Woods stopped him this time, seeming to talk about something that happened between the two before.

"There's only the truth you want to believe in," Hudson completed, looking at Woods before going up from his chair to get at the same level as us and then, look at me. "I want her to know the truth but I still consider the risks of doing so,"

"Hudson, what does she need to do to make you sure that she's with us? She's been toppling Perseus ops faster than all of us did combine in three years!" Park stepped in, taking my defense...it was true that since I came back, Perseus' operations got dismantled faster. "The MI6 & I give her the chance to do what's good, she's with me and you know that," She added, almost having a broken feeling in her voice to do this.

"I know...I'm trying my best to get it to happen but I'm blocked," Hudson repeated, putting his hands on his waist. "Right now, I need you all on this case of finding out what's Perseus planning in the city,' He reminded us, putting his sunglasses back on as Lazar & Woods was looking to have heard enough from him and started to go away. "Grigoriev, I think you should check your desk for new messages, I got a call from Teufelsberg telling me that they discovered a sudden rise in weird communications," He told me, pointing towards my desk but then, as I went to look at it, I saw Lazar stopping in the middle of the room, Woods continuing on his walk.

"Wait..." Lazar turned his head a bit around before he looked at us. "What did you say, Hudson?"

"What's happening, Laz'?" Park demanded, worried as everyone was looking at Lazar, standing in the middle of the room, his eyes looking down.

"The place, what do you call it?" Lazar asked Hudson, slowly raising his hands near his head.

"Teufelsberg," Hudson replied to the question, causing Lazar to move his hands on his head, everyone worried & confused about his actions as for me & Park, it was seeming like Lazar was knowing something.

"I...I heard this word from...Perseus agents back in the gulag...Taking down the satellites and then...move on to Teufelsberg..." He murmured, seeming to remember something important from his time in gulags. "I heard Stitch & Kitsune talked once...the broadcast is free to be diffused...move to West Berlin and get ready," He completed, suddenly realizing the whole goal of Perseus in the city...using a CIA listening station to diffuse a broadcast...

"Teufelsberg is our most important listening station in Western Europe...we can't afford to lose it to Perseus..." Hudson revealed, giving the importance of this place to us.

"So, if you lose this place, the CIA got their eyes shut," I suggested, Hudson, giving directly a nod at this.

"And Perseus can use it to spy on every organization, this place is a gold mine for them...MI6, BND, DGSE, no one is spared,"

"Bloody hell!" I muttered, saying the same thing as Park at the same time.

"Fuck us..." Woods complained.

"Dammit!" Hudson growled before he turns his head on us, looking sure of himself and ready to get the work done behind his sunglasses. "Everyone, get ready to be prepared, I'm making calls for you to support," He ordered and to this, we could only nod back at him to comply...we just discovered the true goal of Perseus here in the city...

And we weren't going to let that happen...they won't succeed, we will...

[dangarretjournal]

The Spirit of '76 - The Man Who Won WW2

The Following excerpt seems to be in response to the infamous “Good Mourning, America” incident in 1980. For those who don't know, this was an incident where a broadcast of Good Morning America was interrupted by an unknown source. Instead of a morning talk show, viewers were greeted by the Caper known only as “Black Hood” staring solemnly through the tv (though, since that Caper was never unmasked, it’s possible it wasn’t the same vigilante who terrorised the streets decades prior). He said “The Spirit of ‘76, the original Caper, is dead. He’s been dead for years… I only waited so long to announce this for the safety of his family. Goodbye, America.” before the transmission ended.

I know that, as life goes on, you get lonelier and lonelier… but I didn’t think it’d happen so soon. I haven't seen Meg in decades, Maxwell still won't talk to me (and I'm not sure I want to talk to him either, to be honest), and I'm a bit worried that my family will be the next to move away. Ever since I started my research into Fantomah, I've been drifting away from my wife and, consequently, my daughter. It's not their fault, it's Fantomah. Once you learn about her, you can't stop thinking of her. Lately, I've been blankly watching the TV just to distract myself, but even that's not working.

Today I turned on the TV and learned that the Spirit of '76 is dead. One of the few true heroes, I say. He was an inspiration to everyone; me, Meg, Maxwell... and the rest. I do wonder how he did it so well when others just failed. I think he was lightning in a bottle, in a way. Somehow, everything just went right for him.

It was October 12th, 1944. Four days earlier, we had successfully captured Crucifix Hill, and now the Germans were trying to reclaim it. We tried to fight them off of course, but no matter how many bullets we fired, they just kept getting closer and closer. What made it worse was that we weren't operating at full capacity; many of our men were still injured from the days prior, including Captain B.E. Brown. As the situation became direr, Lieutenant G. Gardner told us we ought to evacuate.

But then the Germans started screaming. We looked up and we couldn’t believe our eyes - in the town-turned-battlefield was this one guy dressed like he was right out of the revolutionary war, and he was making mincemeat of the Germans! This was the Spirit of ‘76, and he changed the tide of the war for the better. Thanks to his distraction, we were able to push back the Germans without any further casualties. The Captain was very curious about this stranger, so he had his Lieutenant ask him a few questions about who he was.

“I am merely a citizen wanting to fight the good fight,” he said in an unplaceable accent (Somewhere between French and… Greek? I think that was how I described it, it’s been 30-odd years since I heard him). 

“Why didn’t you enlist then?” asked the Lieutenant.

The man looked to the floor, holding his tri-corn hat to his head, “I tried, but they didn’t let me… and I hope you see now that that was a mistake.” I think at this point he wiped his cutlass on his coat, and the blood almost blended in with the red fabric.

The Lieutenant agreed, and they took him to the Captain to further discuss his place in our army. Meanwhile, my fellow soldiers were in awe of him. This collective excitement lasted for the rest of the war; every time there was a battle, the Spirit of ‘76 would be on top of it, leading the charge, eventually becoming Captain when our last one took a bullet to the head. He garnered quite a bit of respect over the years, with many of the men going through outrageous lengths just to impress him on the battlefield. These never worked of course, but he never showed too much scorn when he noticed it. I don’t remember trying to impress him, but it’s likely I did try, I was like that back in the war. This all came to a head in the First Battle of Berlin, where a few key soldiers were so focused on either upstaging or impressing the new Captain that they were rendered ineffective on the battlefield (a few of them even died). A lot of men learned their lessons then.

Eventually, WW2 ended. The Spirit of ‘76  had racked up quite a few medals, but he never showed up to receive them… he definitely deserved them though. Without him, it’s likely WW2 would’ve lasted into the 50’s instead of ending in 1948. And, of course, once he put out the idea of playing dress-up and fighting for what’s right, others followed… through the Spirit of ‘76 never engaged in vigilantism or any war outside of WW2… I do hope we learn who he was one day. The TV said he has a family, so maybe one day they’ll be able to tell us about him, but it’s also likely they’ll just keep the secret within the family. 

Note: This transcript seems well-timed since the super-group "Judicial Supreme" has recently announced a new member who claims to be a descendant of the Spirit of '76. Despite wearing the same costume, she has chosen to go by the alias "Red Spectre" instead.

Announcement: As you’ve likely heard by now, Maxwell Miracle has recently confirmed the identity of the Scarab in an interview for the Daily Oculus. I would like to thank my colleague Jenny Everest for writing the article and thank you to Maxwell for helping us solve this mystery. The Daily Oculus is now engaging in dialogue with Miskatonic University so that at least I can see the documents mentioned by my grandfather.

[jocia92]

(Google translated)

Dan Stevens, who grew up in Wales and south-east England, spent his summer holidays at the National Youth Theater at the age of 15, and he was drawn to the stage while studying English in Cambridge. Since his big breakthrough as Matthew Crawley in the hit series “Downton Abbey”, he has also repeatedly appeared in films such as “Inside Wikileaks - The Fifth Force”, “At Night in the Museum: The Secret Tomb” or “Beauty and the Beast” . Most recently, Stevens played the Russian Schnösel singer Lemtov in the Oscar-nominated comedy “Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga” from Netflix. At the beginning of June, the German film “Ich bin dein Mensch” by Maria Schrader celebrated at the Summer Berlinale Premiere, which starts on 1.7. comes to German cinemas regularly. Stevens plays the role of a love robot in it. Unlike on the screen, however, the 38-year-old prefers to speak English in the zoom-conducted interview. He chose a brick wall with a lion motif as the digital background. No allusion to the song “Lion of Love” from “Eurovision Song Contest”, but a photo of the famous Ishtar Gate in Berlin’s Pergamon Museum, where “I am your human” was filmed last summer.

Mr. Stevens, in your new film “I am your human” you play a humanoid robot that is entirely geared towards fulfilling the romantic needs of a skeptical scientist. You yourself recently described the film as “delightfully German”. How did you mean that?

I wanted to say that here pretty big questions - such as what actually makes a person or how much perfection love can take - are negotiated in a very light-footed, elegant and sometimes humorous way. In my experience that is a very German quality. At least I have often seen with many of my German colleagues and friends that they are very good at not discussing difficult issues exclusively deadly serious and melancholy.

Where does your personal connection to Germany and the German language come from?

My parents had friends who lived in Bielefeld and we used to visit them in North Rhine-Westphalia during the school holidays. Traveled from England by car! That’s how I learned a little German as a child, and later I learned it as a subject at school. I even did a short internship there through our friends in Bielefeld. I really love the language. Funnily enough, I was later able to use my knowledge of German professionally, because my first film was “Hilde”, in which I was next to Heike Makatsch played the British actor and director David Cameron, who was married to Hildegard Knef. After that, I always hoped that there might be another chance to speak German in front of the camera, because playing in a foreign language is an exciting challenge. When the chance arose to shoot “I am your person”, I could hardly believe my luck.

Did you know the director Maria Schrader who gave you this chance?

Funnily enough, when the script for the film landed on my table, I had just watched the Netflix series “Unorthodox”, which she directed. I had also watched a few episodes of “Deutschland 89”. In general, I knew that she was a great German actress, not least because friends who knew their way around the German theater scene often raved about her. Working with her was a joy now. Her understanding of actors is quite instinctive and brilliant. I have seldom seen someone who can help an actor who is having difficulties with a scene with such simple means.

The fact that you had already seen “Unorthodox” shows, of course, how quickly “I am your person” must have been implemented in the past year …

Oh yes, that was really quick. In March I was still in New York and was about to premiere a new play on Broadway. But then the pandemic came, everything was canceled and I flew back to my family in Los Angeles. A few weeks later, Maria and I met each other via Zoom - and shortly afterwards I was sitting outside in a café in the Berlin June sun for the first time in months to discuss the upcoming shoot with her. That was pretty surreal because I hadn’t actually left the house since March.

Is it correct that you oriented yourself to Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart to portray the romantically programmed robot Tom?

In any case, these were role models that Maria and I spoke about. When you think of the game between the two of them, you always see an enormous clarity and directness. Cary Grant, for example, was always quite funny, especially in his romantic roles, but also flawless in an almost artificial way from today’s perspective. I found that very suitable for a robot. Apart from the fact that the ideas that Tom and his algorithm have of romance and love are certainly also shaped by the classic romantic comedies from Hollywood. Oh, the woman is sad, so I’ll bring her flowers! Such automatisms from the stories from back then were very appropriate for Tom now.

Keyword role models: Who shaped you in your career as an actor?

There were of course many. Jimmy Stewart was certainly something of a role model. My mom and I watched a lot of his films when I was little and I was always impressed by the kind of sweet tragedy that went into all of his roles. But maybe Robin Williams’ work influenced me even more. I always found the incredible variety of his films remarkable. He could make his audience laugh hysterically like no other, but also move them to tears in other roles. I always wanted to emulate this range.

In fact, the range of your roles is enormous and ranges from the Disney blockbuster “Beauty and the Beast” to a comic adaptation in series format such as “Legion” to bulky independent films such as “Her Smell” or the horror thriller “The Rental “, Which we just released on DVD. Is there a method behind this diversity?

Not in principle. I like variety, but I’m not just looking for roles that are as different as possible from one another. Rather, there are always similar factors that I use to select my projects. Sometimes there is a certain director that I really want to work with. Or the role itself is irresistible because it presents me with acting challenges. And sometimes a script is just fantastically written and I am interested in the topics it is about. With “I am your person” it was definitely the latter, especially since the timing was just right. In 2020 there were so many societal questions that ultimately touched the core of human existence. Such a script, which deals with something very similar in a light-footed way, was just fitting.

A few years ago you said in a questionnaire from the British Guardians that your greatest weakness was not being able to make up your mind. So every time you are offered a role, do you ponder whether you should accept?

No, no, when a script appeals to me, it actually does it very quickly. It’s such a gut feeling. If I’m unsure and skeptical, that’s a good indicator that this is not the right thing for me. That with the difficulty in making decisions related rather to something else. For example, it takes me forever to order in a restaurant because I can never decide what on the menu appeals to me the most.

You became famous with the role of Matthew Crawley in the series "Downton Abbey”. Did you immediately suspect at the time that something big was going on?

At first we were all pretty clueless. There are really many British history series, and we were one of them. When the first season aired in the US and was a huge success there, it was pretty unexpected. I never expected the impact the series would have on my career.

Barely ten years later, are you still being asked about the role?

Oh yes, regularly. Probably nothing will change about that either. I got out after three seasons!

In the meantime, however, the flamboyant Russian singer Alexander Lemtov from “Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga” should also be a character with whom you will be immediately associated, right?

Right, it has been mentioned more and more recently when people recognize me on the street. This charming, silly film obviously had a nerve with the audience last year in the middle of the corona pandemic. Especially since the real Eurovision Song Contest had been canceled.

The film was the number one topic of conversation on the Internet for a while - and Lemtov GIFs and memes were everywhere. Did you follow that?

It was really hard to avoid it. I wasn’t looking specifically for what people were posting. But of course my friends passed a lot on to me, and there were already some very funny Lemtov things. But he’s also a figure made for GIFs.

Another question every British actor under 40 has to put up with these days: Would you like to become the next James Bond?

Oh, of course, everyone gets to hear this question again and again who meets certain criteria. But it is completely hypothetical. Although a few years ago I read in an audio book by Ian Fleming’s “Casino Royale”.

You mentioned earlier that you and your family have lived in the United States for a long time. How big is your homesickness?

I actually feel very comfortable in Los Angeles. But every now and then I miss the sidewalk culture of European cities. People on foot, street cafes, things like that. Last year the longing for it was particularly great, although it was of course clear to me that there was a state of emergency in Europe too. In any case, I found myself reading books that were set in Europe and made me homesick. Which is why the unexpected trip to Berlin was really a boon.

You are also an avid cricketer. That’s certainly difficult in Los Angeles, isn’t it?

There are quite a few cricket clubs here. The only problem is that the few people who do the sport here are so good at it that I have problems keeping up. That’s why I always lose sight of the matter here a little. Even as a pure TV viewer, it is not easy to stay on the ball, because of course there is no cricket broadcast here at prime time. But as soon as I’m home in England in the summer, I really want to play again!

[knives-out20]

The Impact Of The Intergalactic - David Bowie Opinion Essay - by Beck S.

This is an essay I wrote about the span of David Bowie's career. I wrote it for a summer school course I took last year (August 2021) for a course called History of Rock & Roll.

My teacher gave nice feedback after he marked it, talking about how it was an "Excellent paper. It charts Bowie's progress throughout his career well, and includes significant detail. I could really feel the passion you have about him throughout. In fact, there is *too much* detail! The paper was supposed to be 3 pages max, double-spaced. Still, this is a good problem to have; better too much than too little."

So...enjoy!!

From his early works like Hunky Dory, to Black Tie White Noise in the 1990’s and stretching over to Blackstar as his final album, David Bowie has rarely had a bad album or song- in my opinion. His career has had ups and downs, his musical creations ranging in the way he would pitch his voice and what instruments he would use, the people he would produce with, and the wild things he would say. Charting David Bowie’s development over time is in fact an interesting journey.

Early on in his dreamy career, Bowie would have done nearly anything- or in fact, anyone- to grow in the music world. Hopping from band to band (like The Velvet Underground), producer to producer, doing whatever he could do to get ‘in’ in the industry. His early albums weren’t taken very highly in their times- especially with the ‘man-dress’ he wore on the British release of his The Man Who Sold The World album. Although, this dress was only the start of the androgynous appearance he would soon be known for, over the course of his 5-decade-spanning career.

The 1970’s were strange, to say the least. He married Angela Bowie at the start of the decade, then welcomed their son Duncan Zowie Haywood Jones a year later. Bowie went on to be hopped up on cocaine. David donned the look of one of his famous personas, The Thin White Duke. The same persona with slicked-back ginger hair, a white button-up under a black waistcoat and paired with black dress pants. The same Duke who called Adolf Hitler one of the first ‘rock stars’ and gave off a lot of faschist energy. He said many statements he’d later apologize for and grow as a better man from, which is good- it’s better than standing by then, or even backing himself up and supporting them. David Bowie called that period the darkest days of his life, and blamed the crazy statements on his horrid addiction and deteriorating mental state. The late 1970’s were more favorable, seeing as it gave the world what was dubbed the Berlin Trilogy alongside Brian Eno and David’s personal friend, Iggy Pop. Made up of three of his albums: Low and Heroes (both in 1977) and Lodger (1978). He moved from Los Angeles to Switzerland, then to Berlin as a further decision to escape his addiction (the reason he moved away from LA in the first place). It was in Berlin, of course, where he wrote his famous song Heroes, about two lovers, one from East Berlin and one from West.

Speaking of Berlin, David Bowie performed near the west of the Berlin Wall in 1987; he played so loud that crowds gathered on the east to listen. At this time, Bowie had no idea he would be the beginning of the city’s soon-coming unifying. After his death in 2016, the German government thanked him for bringing the wall down and unifying a divided Germany.

Music isn’t all he is known for, though it is a majority. He also starred in movies from time to time. Being the titular man in The Man Who Fell To Earth in 1976, Jareth the moody goblin king in Jim Henson’s 1986 Labyrinth film (what is most likely his most famous role), Monte the barman in the 1991 movie The Linguini Incident, cameoing as himself in Zoolander (2001), Nikola Tesla in the 2006 movie The Prestige, and even Lord Royal Highness in Spongebob Squarepants’ Atlantis Squarepantis in 2007, among a few others. David Bowie dabbled in the art of acting, and was not that bad at it. He was good enough to gain a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, too. Sometimes it bends my mind that my first introduction to my all-time favourite musician was in a Spongebob Squarepants movie, back before I knew who he was, but David Bowie was never one to shy away from foreshadowing. At least one song from many of his albums would hint at the direction he’d go in for his next release. For example, his track Queen Bitch on Hunky Dory foreshadowed his soon-coming Ziggy Stardust. And the Diamond Dogs track 1984 actually hinted at the Philadelphian soul of Young Americans, which is a more famous song of his, which he went on to perform on The Cher Show with its host.

The 1990’s were certainly an experimental time for David Bowie. But to my knowledge, I think the 1990’s was a time for everyone. He married supermodel Iman some days after performing at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert, and released the album I named earlier, Black Tie White Noise. It is known to have had a prominent use of electronic instruments, as was his other 1990’s album, Earthling. The early 1990’s greeted David’s first real band since the Spiders From Mars, dubbed Tin Machine. They recorded three guitar-driven albums which received mixed reviews from the masses, but Bowie looks back at this period- as do I- with a certain fondness; “a glorious disaster” he called it, when talking to journalist Mick Brown. Tin Machine is a period I don’t listen to often, compared to his solo stuff, but I don’t press the skip button when it comes on.

Alas, the starman’s career drew to a close as the 2000s rolled in. David Bowie greeted the 2000’s with the birth of his and Iman’s daughter, the beautiful Alexandria Zahra Jones. After suffering a- strange, as it were- heart attack symptoms mid-song during a concert in 2004, he took a hiatus from his career. I say strange because given what I know, he was trying his best to stay healthy at the time. According to my special Rolling Stone edition magazine about David Bowie (released at the start of this year), he was on tour and performing in a really hot arena. But Bowie was sober, and had quit smoking. He was taking medication to lower his cholesterol, and worked out with a trainer. Bowie looked great, and yet he felt a pain in his shoulder and chest, along with a shortness for breath. A bodyguard rushed onstage to usher Bowie off of it, cutting the concert short. He only performed live once or twice after that point, but was set on never going live ever again. And he kept his word on that, unfortunately but also fortunately. Unfortunately, because David Bowie live would have been quite the experience- I wouldn’t know, personally. But fortunately, because I do not believe anyone needs a repeat of the 2004 Reality scare.

I am actually not too fond of speaking of his final years. Nobody really likes to speak of the last years of their idols’ life before their death, so it’s no surprise. Blackstar was David Bowie’s 25th and final album, recorded entirely in secret in New York alongside his long-time producer, Tony Visconti. The album's central theme lyrically is mortality, and seeing as Bowie was undergoing chemotherapy for his cancer at the time, I see it as his way of coping with his incoming death. His producer Tony Visconti called him a ‘canny bastard’, when he realized Bowie was essentially writing a farewell album. Every song on the album is what is considered a swan song, a swan song in question being a phrase for a final gesture of some sort before retirement or death. In this case, death. Over the course of recording the album, David Bowie’s chemotherapy had actually been working and he had an eerie optimism while recording. But by the time they shot the two music videos Blackstar and Lazarus, where he showed off the definite passage of time and cruelty of chemotherapy through sparse and gray hair with sagging skin, he knew his condition was terminal and that this would be a battle he would lose. Blackstar wasn’t the first album to have been made by a musician succumbing to a fatal illness, but in my opinion it is in fact the most beautiful. It’s jazzy, and elegant, showing how at peace he had become with dying.

Blackstar the album was released on January 8th, 2016. Also known as David Bowie’s 69th birthday. Two days later, David Bowie died at his Lafayette Street home on January 10th after living with liver cancer for up to 18 months. Beforehand, he had let it be known he did not want a funeral nor a burial, but rather that his body be cremated and the ashes to be scattered in Bali by his loved ones. His wish was received, and planet Earth was very much bluer and quieter without his colour and wonderful noise.

As I said earlier on, David Bowie’s career came with ups and downs. His mysteriously close relationship with Mick Jagger, his cross with famous underage groupie Lori Maddox, the births of his two talented children, his faschist bender in the 70’s, and final bang of Blackstar in his final year on earth. Through the highs and lows, his career and his music meant a lot to the quote-unquote misfits and freaks of the world, myself included. David Bowie turned and faced the strange, shouted “you’re not alone!” To those who felt the loneliest, he surely spent his career helping those who needed to be themselves, feel more freer and braver in doing so, no matter what they may be when they are themselves. He never went boring, he never went stale, he sang what he wanted and dressed how he pleased, and kept to his word on how much more to life there is when you’re just that; yourself. A year after David Bowie’s untimely passing, his son Duncan Jones accepted an award for British album of the year that was won by Blackstar at the 37th annual Brit Awards. When he accepted it, he made a speech about his father that I will leave here, and never forget. Seeing as it perfectly encapsulates David Bowie’ legacy, and the true meaning of his extraordinary career.

“I lost my dad last year, but I also became a dad. And, uhm, I was spending a lot of time- after getting over the shock- of trying to work out what would I want my son to know about his granddad? And I think it would be the same thing that most of my dad's fans have taken over the last 50 years. That he’s always been there supporting people who think they’re a little bit weird or a little bit strange, a little bit different, and he’s always been there for them. So...this award is for all the kooks, and all the people who make the kooks. Thanks, Brits, and thanks to his fans.” - Duncan Z. H. Jones (February 22 2017, at The O2 Arena in London.)

[amyonrails]

Back from Sweden to Germany

As the journey to Sweden was certainly not what I initially planned, I decided to write about my journey back to Berlin as well, as that turned out to be a quite different sort of adventure.

To make it through the 13 hour journey and arrive in Berlin with enough time to get dinner, I decided to take the 6:35 train from Gothenburg down to Malmö. I was delighted to find that Gothenburg central station is lit up beautifully during the night and even while it was pretty dark in the early morning the station felt bright and inviting on the inside.

[Gothenburg central station lit up in warm colors in the early morning hours; a few people walk towards it]

Just like when I arrived a week earlier the SJ high speed train departed right on time and provided a very comfortable trip and even though it was cloudy and rainy the view was certainly enjoyable.

[green and calm countryside zips by while gray rainclouds hang in the sky]

I also must remark on how wide the Swedish trains are. The rail is set up to leave a lot more space to the sides (they have a wide loading gauge) and thus even in a 2 by 2 open saloon it does not feel cramped at all. The walkway in the center is wide enough to comfortably carry luggage, the seats have normal width and there is still space for a small nook with a table next to the window, where you can place small items or a bag.

[some empty train seats in a Swedish X55 train attempting to show how wide these are]

When I was in Malmö the first time I didn’t have the time to really take in the station, which turns out to be quite nice. It looks clean and is large enough that even on a busy Monday it did not feel uncomfortably crowded. While the upper platforms and concourse are bright from sunlight and lighting, the underground platforms are a bit darker, but still kept in very good shape and look modern.

[the upper platforms at Malmö central station; the hall is pleasant and bright and there is a different train sitting on each platform; pretty iron works holds up the roof of the hall]

[a view along some of the lower platforms at Malmö central station; the modern architecture with simpler shapes and more artificial lighting form a noticeable contrast to the platforms above]

An Öresundtåg then took me over to Copenhagen. Despite the check by the Danish border police again, that trip was pretty quick and comfortable. I decided to sit in a section specifically built for bikes, strollers, wheelchairs and large luggage, which is a very handy thing for such a regional train which also stops at the airport.

Copenhagen central station really surprised me. The current station was opened in 1911 and looked a lot larger to me than it seems to be with six platforms. The hall was just so spacious that it felt comfortable even on a busy day.

[standing on a bridge over the six platforms of Copenhagen central station looking down on some waiting trains; the large hall hides some parts of the platforms]

If I had had more time, I would have loved to explore the building, as the hall already looked imposing with it’s steel roof with ceiling windows at the apex. Even with the gray weather it was so bright as if there was no roof at all.

[a look up at the ceiling of the train hall; the roof is held up again by red and gray painted metal works and large windows let in plenty of light; even without lit electrical lighting one can easily see]

But after a bit of waiting it was time to board my Intercity train to Hamburg. That part of the journey turned out to be a slight slog in fact. Longer sections of the 6 hour long way to Hamburg were spent at only moderate speeds. But on the other hand I got to see the crossing of the Kiel canal in daylight this time and it was really interesting watching the train snake up the Rendsburg loop to get to the altitude necessary to cross a canal built for ocean freighters and cruise ships.

[a view down from the Rendburg loop onto single family houses of the town of Rendsburg which are encircled by the loop itself; in the distance one can see the bridge over the Kiel canal]

The train was quite packed, but the seats were comfortable so I was perfectly happy just spending the time by myself and watching the scenery. Be aware that there was no on board bistro even on a trip that long. The crew came through with a few snacks for purchase, but it’s probably best to bring a few supplies that will last you yourself. This might also be an exception with the pandemic still going on, so a bistro service may be available in the future again.

As the Danish train crossed into Germany there was no loco change this time. Instead it just switched to diesel power and carried on for the last 2 hours. There were no border checks, but my ticket got checked again by the German staff, which was completely fine.

With about 15 minutes delay the train then pulled into Hamburg central station, which I had previously only seen little of during my journey to Sweden. In the afternoon daylight I realized how large and impressive the main hall is. Next time I pass through this station I will try to spend more time on the concourse and watch the trains and crowds below. But that day I was already pretty tired so I opted to have a sit for about an hour.

During that time I noticed how very busy the platforms are. While I was waiting about 4 ICEs and one IC pulled up, unloaded passengers, took on other passengers and then got on their way again on the platform where I was sitting alone. It was mesmerizing to watch. Meanwhile there were regional trains constantly waiting for departure or currently departing on the platform I had my back to. No wonder they are planning to expand the station if this is just what a normal Monday looks like.

[a view down onto the platforms of Hamburg central station in the huge hall the people down below look tiny]

When my train pulled in I was worried about getting a seat, as the platform had been very full, but that was absolutely no issue in the end and there were plenty of seats free for all of the journey to Berlin. Even though the train barely went at 200 km/h for some time due to larger track work, the two and a half hour journey was quite pleasant again. It was a quiet trip through rural Germany with lots of fields and forests to look at and only two short stops along the way.

At around 20:00 after 13 hours on trains and in stations I had arrived back in Berlin. I decided to hop off at Spandau which is a smaller station in the west of the city to take public transport back to my place. Tired and happy but also a bit sad that my adventure had come to an end I got back home.

In conclusion

Covering this distance during the day was more interesting as I got to see some wonderful sights along the track, but it did get a bit tiring. I am glad night train connections up to Sweden exist and are getting extended, so you can use this travel time to get some sleep and spend the day visiting wonderful places.

[thehippaes]

The worst of Bangers - playlist

Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2ZZ3PEFfGCqNIVWUVpFt9t?si=4842722153114449 Intro Unbearable narcissist that I am, I was thrilled to see that Isaac Asimov’s Foundation was being adapted into a big budget straight-to-the-internet TV series not because I honestly thought it would be any good, but because I hoped it might finally vindicate one of Bangers’ most (perhaps unfairly?) maligned songs if a few more people consumed the source material that it was an extremely concise precis of. As it happens I’m proper enjoying the series, faithless as the adaptation is - incorporating both emotions and women (two of my favourite things) neither of which were really even hinted at in the books. This train of thought, the fact that Small Pleasures turned 10 earlier this year, and my realisation that I find most of the Bangers back catalogue to weigh heavily on my creative soul as well intentioned but badly executed trash, led me to create a Spotify playlist called The worst of Bangers and write this accompanying blog to revisit some of the most forgotten, dismissed and/or reviled deep cuts. Before I start, these songs are included for a variety of metrics, often because they have a noted down-turn of listens on Spotify compared their album position. That’s not a great metric for a band who split up before Spotify achieved the godlike ubiquity that it now enjoys, but c’est la pomme de la terre. If you can hum any of these songs just by reading their names then you’re doing better than me 3 hours ago. Asimov When Bird was released, I remember several people telling me that this song shouldn’t have made the cut. I got the impression that some people thought it was a joke that didn’t sit that well on an album that was mostly dwelling on depression and suicide, and some others thought it was just a bit shit. Exactly nobody told me that they understood what I was getting at, so for the sake of posterity I’ll explain what it meant to me. Foundation – as I see it – is a musing on humankind’s repeated inability to learn one of the most universal lessons. The story begins with the fall of the Galactic Empire, and each subsequent generation confronts a crisis which requires rejecting the philosophy of the previous generation. Each time, the ruling forces adamantly refuse to realise this – rigidly adhering to the most recent philosophy - until one character tricks them into it and saves the day, thus ushering in a new age. I find the prescience of this to be one of the most depressing facts of human existence, and something I was wallowing in at the time, hence the song. Listening back I think the chorus is great, and Andrew’s weird bass slide in the middle is a joy. Vibrate This song is undeniably cool, but every time we played it people stared at us like we were stupid. I think it’s the emotional pay-off for Bird, after such a miserable time it’s just an acceptance that probably the healthiest thing to do is to accept defeat and plod on ignoring all the glitzy wiff-waff and intriguing mysticism in the world. This is the Bangers song I still sing to myself when I’m doing really practical DIY like building shelves. The truth that I’m more of a practical ox of a guy than an ethereal waif has been one of the healthiest realisations of my life. Stressful Festival The only thing that I ever heard said about this song was that it sounded ‘like Bangers’ on an album that largely didn’t. I think that’s bullshit, Bangers very rarely played this kind of classic on-the-beat punk vibe. Two interesting facts about this song: 1. I remember writing all the guitar riffs in Berlin after playing with De Cracks in the Ramones Museum and their Ramones-core translating much better to acoustic guitar than any of Banger’s music did. 2. While recording I puked in my mouth singing “sick to death of every one of you” and swallowed it again before coming in for the last chorus. If you listen really hard you can hear it coming up. A Quite Different Coastline In amongst the fairly weird Crazy Fucking Dreams album, this song performs especially badly with people who aren’t in Bangers. I think it rips, but Spotify figures confirm a proper dip compared to the rest of this album. I just don’t know what’s wrong with people sometimes! Bad Jokes Someone in Austria told me to my face that this song was too boring, and we pretty much stopped playing it after that. I think it has a janky song structure, and the nearest thing to a chorus it has (none of the songs on Crazy Fucking Dreams really have a chorus) isn’t that catchy, but I think the song is OK. I can confirm that nobody ever shouted for us to play it live. The Nick of Time OK, here’s a proper deep-cut. It’s the first B-side from the Blind Hindsight single, and I couldn’t remember anything about it before listening today. I remember we cut it from Crazy Fucking Dreams because it didn’t sit well with the other songs, but on reflection it really carried the core message that I was trying to get across in that album. Namely that history forgets just about everybody, so why should we feel obligated to be interested in anything that’s mainstream enough to be remembered. I suspect that the lyrics are not that relatable, but they’re a good diary entry for me to remember the first person I ever watched die. Log Jam Second B-side. I believe we only ever had two B-sides. We recorded this in our practise room in Exeter, and I seem to remember we tracked it back to front with the piano first and drums last. Maybe Hamish was at work until late or something. This is the song to drag out if anyone tries to tell you Bangers were just a gruff punk band who sounded like The Menzingers. I think there’s a weird time signature change, and that’s probably not because we were trying to be clever if you know what I mean. A man like Jack McCall This is named after the guy who shot Wild Bill in Deadwood. I loved that show, but at the time I knew I was much more a drunken cowardly shit-heel than any of the heroic (or at least stoic) characters. It was on the Good Livin’ EP which I find mostly unlistenable because of some very sketchy guitar playing. This was the weird plodder at the end which we probably played live a handful of times and then realised that nobody really wanted to hear it and it wasn’t that fun to play. Every night’s a date night On the subject on not being fun to play, this song was always a pain. Something about the timing at the start just baffled Hamish, so we ditched playing it as soon as we had enough songs. However in my mind this is one of THE archetypal Bangers songs, it’s got that lolloping, on-the-push rhythm, not a normal power chord in sight, and three quite distinct sections without anything approaching a chorus. Small Pleasures is definitely our most listened to album on Spotify, but where some of those songs really defined how Bangers were perceived, this never really landed. The Love Nest I straight up laughed out loud today when I saw we’d called a song The Love Nest. I couldn’t remember anything about it until I listened to it today for the first time in years. We played this a lot when we were relevant to the DIY scene in about 2011, and I think people used to sing along. It’s included here because I fully forgot it existed. There was a positive vibe (when no one was left alive) + Walking on the ground These two songs make up the Last Songs EP (single?) that we just about managed to release in time for our last ever show. I think we’d decided to split up by the time we recorded them, but I wouldn’t put money on it. I don’t know if we ever played Positive Vibe live, which is a shame because both songs are great. I think the album that these songs were meant to become would have nailed a good mix of dirty pop that we were aiming at in that moment. We probably would have messed it up though. Outro After I put this playlist together I went and listened to Challenger – Give people what they want in lethal doses as a pallet cleanser. I heartily recommend you do the same. Go and support Andrew and Kay’s new doughnut shop Future Doughnuts in Bristol, and visit Hamish in Cambridge. I’m doing fine. Roo

[tomhasatransblog]

Some time in Berlin's gay bars

If you're looking for somewhere to stay in Berlin I highly recommend Nollendorfplatz. It's the gay district and it's pretty nice.

Greg and I rehashed our classic argument about "who has it worse" on the gay scene, the fat or the trans? Just low key so it wasn't really an argument, but it kinda pissed me off and he said I can just go out to the bars on my own, and so I did.

I tried the "fetish cruising bar" I'd spied earlier after a while of standing nervously outside. They let me in, then the three men at the bar just told me it was closed (even though it should have been open for another hour). I wasn't appropriately dressed, but apparently they had casual/no dress code on Wednesdays. But anyway I moved on disappointed and a bit relieved.

Then I went to Heile Welt where I had a really nice time. I sat at the bar and chatted with this one nice guy, then we went to the smoking room (what a novelty and a luxury omg) and I lost him but found a group of PHD students who were pretty cool. When I went to the bar I chatted to this old guy who was pretty nice, then he kinda pulled me into him and rubbed my chest and kept touching my arse and honestly I was loving it. I wasn't into him but I love being touched like that. And he was really complimentary about my German and my looks so it was just lovely tbh. I just extricated myself back to the smoking room after that.

I was nervous to go out on my own but I shouldn't be, I always seem to go down well. Heile Welt was a normal bar but I'd like to try again sometime to get into a sex bar of some kind, that would make me way more nervous but I think I'd really enjoy it. I'd need to bring some appropriate gear as well. I've got a harness, but I need some leather trousers or something to complete the look. I have been looking but damn they're expensive!

Anyway I'll come again sometime better prepared, there's good times to be had here.

[a-wonderingmind]

peggysous week, day 3

the prompt was life moments/missing scenes, and I found myself wanting to do something a little different to 'normal' big life moments, so this is perhaps 'life moment-adjacent'; in combination with this concept that had been hanging around in my WIP folder for a while - it finally sees the light of day!

January 18th

It becomes a bit of a joke between them, how often this day seems to be important.

January 18th, 1947 was the day that Peggy was meant to go back to New York. The day she chose to take a step that would change the direction of her life rather dramatically. The day she found a compelling reason to stay.

Mr Jarvis always jested that everyone had known they would find each other before they did.

January 18th, 1948 was, quite independently of the other, the day that they both decided that perhaps this was the one they were going to marry. He had walked in on her trying to make him dinner (fallen in love even further, if that was at all possible), because he was looking tired and he had done all the cooking last week and just because, Daniel, can I not do something kind for you, and managed to burn her forearm on a pan. Peggy looked into his exasperatedly fond expression while patching her up, yet again, (“it’s just a light burn, Daniel, you don’t need to make all this fuss,” - “yeah, sure, and I’m the star batter for the Dodgers,”) and just knew. Daniel went ring shopping the next weekend.

Jack would tease him for years to come that Peggy has been the one to pop the question before he could.

January 18th, 1949 just so happened, by pure coincidence and an act of god (well, more specifically, an act of the Soviets, trying to run interference with the Berlin Blockade; a plan so ham-fisted it reached them in LA) to be the first day of their honeymoon. They had married in late November, and planned to take the next three weeks off, but then they had to save the world, again. The life of an SSR agent. This meant when they finally collapsed in the bed in the fancy house in San Francisco (kindly provided by Howard, their original plans having fallen into the black hole of international politics), Peggy looked at Daniel, chuckled slightly, and said only “It’s the eighteenth again,” before they both dissolved into laughter at the utter absurdity of this and life and the universe.

Daniel couldn’t decide if it was a blessing, or a curse, or just a damned coincidence, that so many moments like this lined up with the rotation of the earth in this way.

January 18th, 1950 and 1951 passed in a blur, as the SSR faded and burned on the pyre of federal budgets, and SHIELD rises from its ashes. Peggy learns to play politics, Daniel learns that he is, actually, a good leader, despite not being as exuberant as the American stereotype may suggest. He mentions it to Rose, his stalwart and ever-loyal support in the administrative chaos that is the transfer of authority, in passing, about the significance of this not-significant date.

Rose suggests that they make a day of it; maybe take it off next year.

So January, 18th 1952 rolls around and they are, in fact, enjoying a day off. A slow wake-up, enjoying, revelling in each other and the absence of the pressing need to go anywhere; they spend the day around the house, in pyjamas (or not, as the case may be), unhurriedly doing the things they’ve put off for too long, pottering about in the garden, or spending the time to make a dinner that takes much more effort than they’ve normally got time for.

Peggy insists this is the day that turned their life upside down again.

Because January 18th, 1953 comes and goes in a haze of new-parenthood exhaustion, where the days are no longer divided up into hours, but only before and after the next nap. She is three months old and the apple of her parent’s eyes, babbles at Pai and squirms in his arms, looks up at Mum and laughs, and once she’s down for the evening they both collapse on the sofa, tired and happy and tired still.

Who could have imagined this life, she muses, laying there with her head on his shoulder. Who indeed, he smiles.

January 18th, 1954 is the day Edie starts walking, and with great style heralds this new age of chaos in by pulling a puzzle down from the side table, almost swallowing one of the pieces and bringing a mug (empty, thankfully) down on her head. They spend most of the morning in the ER, comforting a whimpering and remorseful child. It turns out to just be a large bump on a small head and nothing really to worry about. Nevertheless, they spend the time after she goes to bed baby proofing everything she might be able to reach.

1955 is swallowed up in the tide of life, running a house and a governmental agency and finding time for the other, all that crosses their mind. They still take the eighteenth off, though, their annual tradition.

January 18th, 1956 knocks Peggy off her feet. It’s the day she hears her mother has died. Old age, but she spends the day not knowing quite what she is feeling, is supposed to be feeling, how to get rid of the haze that she floats through the whole day.

Daniel’s there.

January 18th, 1957. Ten years. A couple of months earlier, he jokingly suggests they renew their vows that eighteenth (he thinks it might be a good idea to imbue the day with something more positive, after the last year) and she agrees, laughing that the day would finally gain some actual recognition, despite it being their unofficial ‘day’ for years. She wears a blue dress, not quite the same as the one a decade ago, and he almost wears a Hawaiian shirt and sports jacket, just for the verisimilitude. She had stroked the side of his face, running her thumb over the hair there, now more white than dark, smiled, and cheerfully vetoed the idea.

He’s still wearing the sports jacket, but the shirt underneath is blue. There is, however, a palm tree lapel pin as a concession to his very respectable sartorial choices. When Peg came to join him at the table, she spotted it and laughed. The same laugh, the same smile he fell in love with all those years ago. She looks up at him and sees the same.

“I love you,”

“I love you, too,”

tagging @peggysousweek!

[kevkesblog]

Translation: Interview with Julian Brandt before the DFB Cup Final (May 12, 2021)

Mister Brandt, what would it mean to win the DFB Cup and your first big title in professional football?

 Ju: A DFB Cup final is a new situation for me. I’m really looking forward to it – even without the atmosphere being like it usually is. I have a real motivation to win this final. It would be something special for me. Many players in our team have already won the DFB Cup before. It would be very important for the team and the club to hold something like that in their hands again.

 What personal memories do you have with the DFB Cup final?

 Ju: Since I’m a Bremen native I remember in 2009 when Werder Bremen won the cup I was in Berlin myself – not in the stadium, but in the city. My friends and myself were very happy after Bremen won the final against Bayer Leverkusen. Now I play the DFB Cup myself for a few years now and follow the finals closely.

 You stood in a DFB Cup semi-final with Bayer Leverkusen back in 2018 however you lost 2-6 against Bayern Munich. Has this been among your most bitter defeats?

 Ju: Of course you want to advance once you’re so close to the final. We even played a quite good game. However Bayern just had more quality and we didn’t have a chance against them. It was disappointing not reaching the final. It should always be your goal. But I hope I can play another final or two in the future.

 How do you assess the opponent RB Leipzig?

 Ju: They are quite good in the way how they play football. They go deep and do a good pressing. It’s a trademark of RB Leipzig. If a player loses a ball, everyone else tries to get the ball back. They are a very athletic team with many young players, who have an extremely good quality. And they have a very deep bench with many good players. If I think about how they were able to sub against Bremen in the semi-finals – Benjamin Henrichs or Emil Forsberg – it shows a great strength. They deserve to be on second place in the Bundesliga this season.

 Is there a favorite in the final?

 Ju: No. I think they are both good teams and everything can happen.

 Borussia Dortmund played an moody season. How do you assess this season?

 Ju: (thinks) I think times are special right now. It’s a new environment for every team to play in an empty stadium and to readjust to new hygiene plans every now and then. Some team deal with it fine other are having more problems. We belong to those team who struggled with it. We miss the fans extremely. 80,000 fans in the stadium do unleash some energy with our players. Those few percentages were missing. Those are – with a few minor exeptions – among the main reason for your season. At least we made it into a final and we have a chance to win a title and make it somewhat a golden season. And I really hope many things will change for the new season – not only in terms of football but also in our private lives of all people. I think if the normal life returns – also the easiness with BVB returns as well.

 Coach Terzic could crown his time as head coach with the DFB Cup before he’ll return to the bench as assistant coach. How important is it that he remains with the team in the future?

 Ju: You do have a different relationship with him, since he has already been assistant coach for a few years under Lucien Favre. And the good relationship stayed once he had taken over. On one hand you are a little looser with him on the other hand he is now the head coach. He helps us extremely. He can ignite a fire within our team from game to game. I think everybody is happy that he will stay with the team despite everything he has already achieved. Because lets be honest: once you tasted being head coach, perhaps you want more. However he loves the club and identifies with Borussia Dortmund.

 Lets talk about you again. You said once about your parents putting a lot of emphasis on being grounded and not losing ground. But isn’t that difficult sometimes if you are a national player at the age of 20?

 Ju: I think I never had a phase were I lost ground. At least that’s not what my family or friends told me. However its not easy all the time. I can understand that there are players, officials or coaches who like all the surroundings and it makes them better. Its unavoidable sometimes. Once success arrives and everyone patting you on your shoulder, the media hype starts, your mind has to deal with it first. It takes time. You can get crazy with it. I have always surrounded myself with family and friends. There has never been a reason to change. You become older and so you put more emphasis on different things in life unlike if you are 19 or 20 years old.

 Where have you put more emphasis on earlier than today?

 Ju: You went partying after the weekend as a 18, 19 or 20 year old after you scored a goal and made a good game. You get interested in new things. You basically get thrown into a pond as a young player. You want to try-out everything once. All your teammates drive great cars or wear expensive clothes. You are trapped in this system for a short time. However you wake up after a while and say: okay some things are cool, other stuff is unnecessary. For example I feel my contact for family and friends has become more important. I also spend more time in the gym then I did as a 19 oder 20 year old. And I pay more attention to what I eat. And somehow the time has ended where driving a fast car was something I was keen to do. I have a vespa roller in Cologne and sometimes that’s enough.

You just turned 25. Do you have a feeling about the public still treating you like a youngster?

 Ju: That was the case two or three years ago, perhaps. It changes a bit right now. However: I still have to play the youngster in Dortmund whenever we play eleven vs eleven. But I realize how time runs. I’m already in this business for eight years. Yet I still feel fresh. I don’t really follow closely what the media writs about me, so I can make any judgement in that regard.

 You almost played all national teams from under-15 to under-21 up until the first team. You played 35 games for them so far. What help has this been for you career?

 Ju: First of all, it was an extremely nice time. Every year I got some new experiences – whether it was the EURO-Cup with the under-17 or the under-20 World Cup in New Zealand. You get to know many people over the years, which you meet later on. For example: I became under-19 European champions with Marcus Sorg – and now he is assistant coach at DFB with the first national team. There have also been really nice characters like Horst Hrubesch. I’ve made many new experiences. It helped me a lot.

 Source: dfb.de