#welp sorry sonny

[delta0003]

Egotober-24-demon

Part 2 of a glitch in a mirror

The ride back to the complex wasn't hard but Chase couldnt get rid of the feeling he was being watched but he pushed down the feeling thinking it was just nerves moving into a new place. Chase got everything from his car and moved it into his new apartment which was leagues better than the motel which no offense to Kathy Chase knows she tried to keep the place clean but the smell of cigs and cat piss was really starting to get to him. The only crappy thing about moving was Chase didn’t have any furniture to put things into so he was gonna have to find a store that sells that kind of stuff and also a bed. Ugh man I don’t remember moving to be this expensive but I guess I have to start somewhere.

 I wonder if any of the neighbors know of a furniture shop that has good deals or even a goodwill store. Hm wouldn't hurt to ask. So Chase exited his apartment and knocked on the door right across from him. Yes, what could I do for you sonny? Hi hello sorry to bother you sir but I was wondering if there was a furniture store and mattress place around here That has good deals? Ah no worries my boy old hermit will set you up,so to answer your inquiries there's a store called Ollies they sell everything you need for housing but in my i wouldn't buy their furniture it always falls apart on you but there an IKEA 35 miles from here but its gonna cost you an arm and a leg to buy anything lucky for you i have a couple of gift cards that i know you can use so here. Ah but sir, I can't do that. Yes you can because im giving these to you and thats, final young man now stay here while i write down directions for you hermit closed his door. Did-did I just get told off by an old man just now? Man talking to him is giving me mad whiplash- here’s the direction now shoo as hermit handed chase a piece of paper and slammed the door. Ah well better get started then.

*2 hours later*

Welp got everything I needed. The only thing I need is a bed/boxspring/ and frame and I should be golden but Hermie didn't mention anything of the sort so I guess I'm on my own with that. Hm? Chase pulled out his phone searching up mattress places near him when one place popped up. Ah, here we go a mattress warehouse 0.5 miles from my location. Welp that mattress isnt gonna order itself. Chase entered the plaza parking his car and entered the store. Hi hello welcome to mattress warehouse my name is kyler what can i do for you today? Well kyler i'm in need of a mattress today. Terrific what are we looking for today? A firm king size bed. Ah, a king size for a king I see. Chase was taken back by what kyler said but he pushed it back. Y-yea how fast can i get it? 

Well it usually takes a week to be shipped to your house but for you sweetheart i could get it in sooner for a favor of course. No no it's fine, a week is fine. My would you look at the time I should pay for this and head home the miss is probably worrying about me hahaha. Chase was getting increasingly more on edge the more he spoke to this guy. Hm alright then im gonna need your credit card and some form of contacting you an email or a phone number perhaps. Yup here you go my email is and here's my card as chase handed his card over showing his wedding ring. Thank you Mr. Brody, have a nice day. Yea you too chase cambered out of there thinking to himself to never walk in that store ever again. Man that guy was such a creep ugh i need some crap food to make me feel better- oof chases train of thought was caught short when he bumped into someone. Ah I’m so sorry I wasn’t paying attention. No no it’s alright stuff happens as the mysterious person said in a Luse voice. Chase noticed the big coffee stain on the person's blouse. Ah your blouse and your coffee I must repay for it. Heh hunny this blouse cost more than what you could pay for but I guess you could pay me for another coffee sound about good hun? There’s a small cafe right across the plaza wanna stop by? I- yes I’ll take you there um what’s your name? Marvin Marvin Aster it’s a pleasure to meet you kind stranger. Chase my name is Chase. Hm~ Chase I like that. Uh really w-well we should be off. Did you want to walk there or could I drive us? Hm, a walk never hurts besides I want to know more about you~. 

*Timeskip*

Thank you Chase for the coffee and for the company. Eh no problem marv just doing the human thing anyways I should be heading back to my place I’ve got a lot of driving to do you know. Wait Chase before you go here’s my card. It has my phone number and address on it. Oh um why are you giving me this? Chase read the card Marvin the magnificent spiritual reader .No offense hun but you have a somber almost demonic aura around you that needs to be fixed, technically I’m not open for business just yet but for you I’d make an exception plus it’s repayment for the coffee. DEMONIC aura, I mean thanks Marvin I’ll keep it in mind tho I REALLY should be heading home now. Hm alright hun I’ll let you go for now Marvin said as he watched Chase sprint back to his car hm I should be getting home myself Higgins will have a fit if I’m not home on time. Chase reached his car. Why do I always attract the nutcases? I mean don’t get me wrong the guy was hot but spiritual readings that's a load of bull if he’s ever heard of it now Chase really needs that crap food right about now. You know what, I'm gonna just head home, unpack the stuff I bought and order some cheap Chinese, yea that sounds good. Chase dashed it back home, washed and dried everything, putting them in his cupboards and dialed the nearest Chinese restaurant. Hi, thank you for choosing 88. How can I take your order? Yea I’m gonna need an order of sesame chick with two big things of rice for delivery. Alright sounds good that will be 33.88 it will be delivered in 30-40 minutes. Yes thank you bye welp now just to wait for the food.

*30 minutes go by*

Knock knock Chase heard knocking on his door. Ah must be the food man. I can't wait to dig in. chase opened the door. I have a delivery for a Chase bro- yea yea here’s the money keep the change kid drive safe and have a good night. Chase closed the door immediately digging into the chicken. Hm so good I miss having this as chases started scrounging the food down enjoy the meal when-  Aw man is that sesame chicken I haven’t had in ages. Chase spat out a piece of chicken he was chewing, rushing to inspect where the other voice came from when he noticed another person in the mirror. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU IN MY DAMN MIRROR. Calm down bro relax I’m not gonna hurt you.JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION.Well my name's Anthony and your name's Chase Brody.How do you know- your name well we have been roommates for the past 3 months so why shouldn’t I know your name chaser heh you know I couldn’t really get a good look at you back at the motel but here in this lightning your not a back looker, I could get used to seeing your face everyday cutie.W-what- I’m not-you can’t just-you know what I’m done, so get THE hell out of my mirror.I can’t.What do you mean YOU CAN'T. I mean I can’t get out cause I’m bound to this mirror meaning I can’t leave. I-okay so this is just a bad dream so I’m gonna go to bed and this will be funny in the morning.Sorry babes but I’m not a figment of your imagination I’m a real person trapped inside of a mirror.Nope nope you don’t get to call me babes for one thing second I’m going to bed so Chase took the mirror off the wall and put a towel over it. Hey you can’t just dismiss me like that- the towel cut off the entity in the mirror. Chase walked to his bedroom and plopped on his makeshift bed and dozed off.

@tracobuttons @leobashi

[londiall]

SEAL Team S2 E1

Here’s the first watch of season 2 lol.

Enjoy the strange thoughts: 

S2 E1 - Fracture

So the thought of completely dark water scares the shit out of me. No me gusta.

Oh shit, Clay is 2. Hmmmm. Wonder how that’s gonna work out with the rest of the team.

Jason is NOT ok. 

Wait, who jumped over the guy on the ground? Jason? Looks like it could be. I wonder if David improved that lol. It looks pretty improved?

Are you kidding me? It’s a drill. Of course it’s a drill.

Oh shittttt, we’re back! (tbf, when you binge watch a show, you don’t ever really realize its been gone lol)

WTF is Jason doing with that Keurig? (or similar coffee maker lol)

Hnnnnnng. Y’all. I’ve had this soft spot for Max since circa 2004-2005 - Catch that Kid and The Pacifier era. And goddamn that soft spot has gotten worse. He’s totally on my celebrity list. Just saying.

And I’m just saying, Clay is possibly my favorite and lmao. “I lost, we can totally still have sex tonight.” What a man.

Oh Ray. I’m sorry your team leader benched your for the same fucking thing he’s doing. It’s not fair.

Jfc Sonny. Is that a strip club? Oh, yep. Davis just confirmed lol.

Lectures before breakfast. Agreed Sonny, none of those things. But also, OUCH. That wasn’t very fair. It’s not Clay’s fault that Jason benched Ray. Dammit Sonny.

Welp, that’s an awkward situation.

Saved by the spin up.

Wheels up in 2 hours. Hmm, lets see what’s gonna happen between now and then. Wait, aren’t they not married anymore tho? Ooof. Rough.

GET HIM RAY.  He’s doing the same thing you did. Fuck right off Jason.

LOL. “Don’t touch me”

So did Clay make number 2 because he’s the other sniper? I really need to look up how this numbering system works lol.

“A little loud down there?” Lmao.

Oh.Shit.Up is not the correct way, but I guess jumping works? WTF is this show lmao. COME UP OUT OF THE WATER CLAY SPENSER. Ah, there he is.

:D

Nah, I still don’t buy it that Jason is ok. Just sayin. Pretty sure I’m right.

“You’re operating again, so it’s not like you’re around anyway” Ouch Alana. Ouch. But fair.

“What I really want is for you not to die.” Oooof.

What a season premiere.

Be back with episode 2 later :)

All the love - A

[beanjuice-duh]

High Hues and Fumes (4/20)

a/n: happy 4/20, I wholeheartedly believe Pete smokes pot. Summary: Sonny comes clean about his deal with Pete, but it might be too late Warning: whoops made it angsty, cannabis mentioned, cursing, inclinations of police brutality annnnnd it's a rough draft so you know, raw-uneditted shit. 

w/c: 2544

The gaseous smells of paint trickled out between small alleyways where apartment building met apartment building. No one could smell it, the sickly chemical scent was buried under the smog of cars, big buildings, pollution but that was New York for those who lived there. New York was a shithole, it spots where people made an effort to look nice. The city rich sprinkled potpourri over the places where the shitstains didn’t stink to much. They glorified the idea of a big city with diverse joys.

Joys only tourists and the rich can benefit from.

It was here where the smog hung low, where the police sat on corners waiting for a slipped up teen, where the chemical spray cans made their mark on walls, where Pete lived his life. Pete’s life had been one bad move after another. He dropped out of school after hanging with the wrong crowd. He was constantly being chased out of stores and chased down by cops. The only place Pete was safe was among his people. No one in this little strip of pavement ratted Pete out. He was one of those ‘harmless’ thugs. Just a little nobody kid that wasn’t going to do much trouble, it would have been too much effort to throw him to the dogs.

All of the bad moves Pete made in life mirror all the right strokes he made with his paint can. He ran his hand over his paint splattered sweats that hung dangerously low on his waist. The top of his boxers exposed, as the elastic squeezed his bony hips. He stared down his next canvas, a dead end alley between two buildings. A huge, unmarked brick wall in a dark, dank dump spot. Perfect.

“Yo.” He spoke without looking back. “Wass’ good, Sunshine.” “Maaan” Sonny groaned, he had tried to be extra sneaky this time. Sonny swore Pete had ears like a hunting dog but Pete knew he was no hunter. Not on these streets, Pete had ears of a prey animal. He had senses of survival. Sonny felt a blush grace the tops of his freckled face, flustered he turned his hat forward and pulled the brim down. “How did you even know it was me?”

Pete looked over his shoulder, paint can in his hand. He shook the can as he deliberately made Sonny wait for his answer. “I felt you” he smirked, Sonny’s face took on a confused look. He turned back to his wall finding the urge to paint something. Sonny did that to him. Pete meant it, he felt him coming. Sonny filled the room like sunlight. In this dark, damp ghetto Sonny was like...a lotus flower. A budding beautiful thing growing out of muck and mud of shit and poverty. Would it be too cliche for Pete to say Sonny was the best thing that happened to him? Because it was true. Sonny was Pete’s muse. He couldn’t paint a thing without thinking ‘would Sonny like this?’

“You felt me, well did you feel this!” Sonny lunged towards him and roughly pounced on Pete. He forced the guy to stumble a bit, while Sonny took the chance to wrap his arms around him. He hugged him from behind and poked his head over Pete’s shoulder eyeing the wall with only a few streaks of blues over it. “Whatcha paintin’ picasso?”

“Hm dunno yet.” Pete looked over the blues and wonder what they’d be. He didn’t start a thing knowing what he would make. He waited for the wall to call him to, for the paints to speak to him. “What do you see?” He peeked over at Sonny who looked at even random streaks like a Monet painting. Sonny had enough belief to make every tag a piece of work.

“I see a rainbow.” “...Sonny you’re fucking gay.” Pete chuckled, “you’re welcome~”

“As a matter of factly I’m bisexual. Cuz’ Nina is still hot” Sonny smirked a bit feeling Pete angrily rip Sonny’s arms off him. He started spraying the wall angrily. If his face got any hotter it would have caught fire from the mix of heat and chemical spray. “But I’m in love with this cutie right here.” Sonny slapped Pete’s butt, only getting a grunt in response. “But seriously, man, I see a rainbow...like you got that dark blue--” “Violet.” “With that other blue--” “Indigo” “Ok, Pete, I ain’t the artist here, das you boo.” Sonny backed up a bit and watched his boyfriend get to work. Sonny climbed on top of a closed dumpster and watched magic happen. Sonny was in love with his boyfriend’s mind. The way he could look at a wall and a couple of colors then boom, art. He was a creator, like a god. He made something that spoke out of nothing. That mind saw things that weren’t there like a ...a magician. Pete was one of those things in the ghetto Sonny called a gem.One of the kids that Sonny knew if he was given half of the shit they deserved, alittle more attention, a little more help, Pete would have been in art school. Pete would have been famous.

At least to Sonny, Pete was somebody. Sonny leaned back against the dumpster and listened to the hissing of the paint cans, the clattering as Pete shuffled between colors. He closed his eyes for a few minutes and slowly he felt a pair of lips against his. “Yo, it's done.” He moved off the top of Sonny.

“Jesus Pete…” Sonny sat up and looked over the art. It was basically like the starry night painting Sonny had seen once. Except the stars were more like suns, and the colors weren’t muted blues and night colors. They were vivid, hot shades of the rainbow. “...it's amazing.”

Pete rolled his eyes and began rummaging through his pockets. “You say that about everything I make.” “Thats cuz’ you’re talented...you’re like...the Banksy of our generation.” Sonny watched as with a small arched eyebrow as Pete placed a small, brown cigarette looking piece between his lips.

“Who?” Pete chuckled, he pulled a lighter right after and lit up his blunt. He could feel Sonny’s wry gaze on him. He puffed a few times, watching his good boy of a boyfriend eye the street watching for the police. “Hey…” He pulled the blunt out of his mouth and wiggled his eyebrow. “Gimme a beso, baby” “Pete, you’re gonna get caught and you’ll be kissin’ bars soon.” Sonny grunted, though the half lidded gaze Pete gave him undid his conscience. He hopped off the dumpster and stood in front of Pete, his fingers reaching for the blunt. His fingers grabbed nothing, Pete pulled away and took another drag holding the smoke in his mouth. “That’s how it is?” He frowned as Pete smiled with his cheeks puffed up with cannabis fumes. Sonny leaned in and kissed him, his tongue forcing the vault of his mouth to open.

The first thing he tasted was the weed. The taste of the plant smoke hit the back of his taste buds and sent a small cringe to his face. It was bitter, but that was quickly masked by Pete’s taste. His mouth hot from taking hits right from the blunt, it made Sonny only want to kiss him more. Their weed boated tongues lazily battled it out. They exchanged breathy kisses, Pete periodically pulling away to take another drag from the blunt and share more smoke with Sonny.

Weed was only fun if Pete was sharing otherwise Sonny never smoked.

Soon the drug kicked in, and Sonny felt that wave of chill come over him. His senses diluted in some places and heightened in other. He felt a calm and sleep like happiness wash over him. “You’re such a pothead…” Sonny giggled, wrapping his arms around Pete’s neck. He hung there for a moment letting Pete’s body hold him up as he laughed. “Petey~ the pot~ head~”

“I ain’t a pothead, I can stop any time.” Pete smirked, “I’ve got a better drug right here.” He kissed all along Sonny’s neck. “I got a handful of sunshine.”

Sonny felt like Pete’s sun. As if he really was the center of this man’s world. “I love--”

Woop Woop, that was the sound of the police.

“SHIT.” Pete quickly peeled himself off Sonny and started tossing paint cans back into his bag. He should have been faster, he jumped on top of the dumpster and pulled the fire escape ladder down. “Sonny, lets go.”

Sonny was not meant for the streets. Usnavi did a good job keeping Sonny on the straight and narrow most of the time, so running from the police was still one of those ‘frozen in fear’ moments for him. He snapped out of it and started towards the dumpster when he noticed the blunt was on the ground. Pete must have dropped it. In a moment of hurried anxiousness he grabbed the blunt, so there would be no evidence for the cops. He couldn’t risk them trying to run DNA and catching Pete. Not that they would but the cops these days looked less and less like they were on the side of reason and logic. Sonny kept the joint tight in his hand as he scaled the fire escape with Pete. The took it to the rooftop and walked across to the other side ofthe building and shimmied down the other firescape. They did this several times, weaving between buildings, climbing up and down.

No wonder Pete was fit. It wasn’t an easy life. Sonny felt his arms and legs burn like he had ran a marathon. They reached the De La Vega corner store and Pete stopped there. “I better go before your cousin chases me down.”

“Hey...don’t say that, Usnavi he likes you…” Sonny was a terrible liar. Pete didn’t bother fight him, he kissed his boyfriend softly, then playfully flicked the hat off his head. “Bye.” “See ya, sunshine.”

Pete kept moving like a real life Aladdin. Sonny watched him disappear across the street and up another fire escape. He giggled to himself, slowly backing into the store door. “Sonny, you’re late.” Usnavi sounded like a broken record. “Pick up a broom and sweep up.”

“K’” Sonny shrugged off his jacket and in a moment he opened his hand the joint fell out of it. Usnavi’s keen eyes didn’t miss a thing that landed on his floor. He walked over and nearly shoved Sonny into the shelves. Slowly be picked up the blunt and could smell it, it was lit not too long ago. “Sonny what the fuck is this?” Usnavi held out the paper wrapped cannabis to his teenage cousin. “Sonny, what the FUCK IS THIS?” His voice got louder, angrier. Sonny slowly felt fear claw up his throat, nervous fear, he didn’t like being yelled at. No kid did, but Sonny especially. He struggled to find the words so Usnavi’s anger bulldozed him. “Sonny are you fucking nuts? Have you lost your fucking mind? Este maldito muchacho de diablo (This damn fucking kid). Where are you getting this from, hm?” Sonny froze. Usnavi took a moment for his anger to calm for a second. He had a moment of clarity. He knew Sonny. He knew the boy he helped raise and kept on raising. Sonny didn’t deal, Sonny didn’t buy. Sonny didn’t smoke. Sonny didn’t, who… “Fuckin’ Pete isn’t it? You’ve been messing around with that low life-” “Navi’!” “Thug ass kid, Sonny he’s a criminal! He tags public buildings and fucking does pot!” Sonny felt hot angry tears prick at the edges of his eyes, waves of emotion rolled over him but he stood his ground. The tsunami of emotions wouldn’t wash him away. “Pete is an artist! And Pot isn’t that bad…” “Have you been smoking too?” Usnavi charged, he tried to find signs of being high in Sonny. Red eyes, flushed face...but it was hard to tell. “Sonny, you’re going to school, you’re gonna get yourself fucked up out there. DO YOU KNOW WHAT COPS DO TO KIDS LIKE YOU?” He tossed the blunt in the trash and grabbed Sonny by the shoulders. Sonny met Usnavi’s glare, but there wasn’t anger anymore. It was pure, unnerving fear. “Do you know what happens to kids like you? One joint and cops are gonna pick you up, you’ve seen the news. Cops pick up kids like you and next thing you know you’re dead. You try to talk back, you’re dead. Do you understand that? Do you want to DIE on me Sonny?” Usnavi couldn’t, his heart couldn’t take another loss of the family. He couldn’t lose his Sonny. “You stay away from Pete. I swear...Sonny, he’s going to get you killed.” “Navi’...” Sonny sniffled, his face was hot, the tears rolling down felt like magma against his flushed skin. Of course he knew...and he knew better than to play around with Pete like that. Pete did some stuff but that didn’t define him. This hood didn’t define him! “I can’t…” Usnavi gave him a hard look, as if he was two seconds away from slapping Sonny. “What?” “I…” He licked his lips trying to find the right words. “You what? You think your lame ass friend is more important than your life?” “No.” He sobbed a bit. Why couldn’t he think straight? Why couldn’t Usnavi back up for a second and not yell. His brain ached and throbbed as he searched every lobe in his brain for an answer. “No what Sonny? No you think he’s more important, no he’s not a lame ass?” He hissed.

“No..just...no...he…” He hiccuped, his breathing was fast and irregular, his mind was melting he couldn’t find it. All he could say was no. No to all of it, no to this. He wanted to eject right out of his body right now and be somewhere else.

Usnavi pulled away from Sonny, finally giving him a moment of space. He took off his hand and roughly ran his hand through his hair. “...If I see him anywhere near I’m callin him in.” Usnavi wasn’t a snitch. He didn’t believe anyone in the hood was bad, but if some little punk was hell bent on bringing his cousin down...well blood was always thicker than water. He was going to keep Sonny safe even if it came at the expense of another youth.

The tear soaked tea felt a lump in his throat. He swallowed hard as the reality hit him. Pete wouldn’t stay away. He knew Pete enough, he knew Pete loved him as much as Sonny did him. So he could see it, Usnavi calling him in. Pete would be...No. The streets would be bare again. Brick canvases would never light up with the life Pete gave them. Empty spray cans wouldn’t dot the corners were Pete had been. Random masterpieces hidden in corners that no one would ever see them wouldn’t be little surprises to the lost passerby or the hiding alley way drunk. No more, ‘hey sunshines’. “Usnavi…”

“What.” He grumbled half ready to fight Sonny if he tried to test him now. “What is it?” “Pete...he...I…” He licked his lips a little, “I love him.”

[o188]

@odafins and i weren’t satisfied with one soulmates verse so here’s another

his cell is on SILENT ; his mother could leave as many voicemails as she WANTED demanding he apologize to his father. he wasn't going to deal with it. not tonight. not now. not when there is a long island iced tea ( his third ) in his hand &. a VERY attractive man accepting his attention. he knows BETTER ; this bar was frequented by those in blue --- those like himself &. all he aspired to be, &. it wasn't the PLACE for how bold he's being. dominick ( 'cahwl me sonny' ) carisi jr. has radiated charm since the MOMENT he spotted this man, this detective. dark skin. sharp suit. pony-tail. piercing. the aspiring detective in him says 'tattoos' but there aren't any immediately visible &. he'd LOOKED. this man checked every BOX of his parent's list of god-given fears &. sonny wants something GOOD to bring to his next confession. he's practically aching for it, ready to SCREAM with each new voicemail notification that makes his phone vibrate in his pocket.

he tries not to think about it. he tries, instead, to focus on his current company ( his company for the entire evening, should he play his cards RIGHT ) &. his own voice. the staten island accent was THICK &. it only got worse with each drink he downed.

“ ---besides, there's no science behind most of what they print about soulmates. it's just garbage. we still don't know why some people don't have 'em. i mean. i figure they do, it's just like, i dunno ... on their liver or something. ” hands move as he talks, emphasizing different words. venting some of his energy. helping with his NERVES. “ right? like somewhere we can't SEE. some of them --- they're lucky. ” a long draw from his glass as he tries to swallow bitterness he knows shouldn't be taken out on anyone. certainly not this detective with his cool vibe &. what he swears is a knowing smirk. “ some of us want to be able to have a few drinks &. take someone HOME with them without feeling like they are letting all of society down, y'know? i mean. it’s a friday night. i’m SINGLE. i’m ready for SOMETHING but i’m supposed to wait for this --- this ODAFIN to just walk through the door? no way. it’s not happenin’. statistically, my soulmate is probably in, like. AUSTRALIA. which is a content i’m NEVER going to because there are like forty different kinds of spiders ALONE that can kill you. ”

[tsuki-sennin]

To the big dumb maze we go! A very interesting variety of games this time around. I rather like the idea of the labyrinth. Embracing the roguelike image we've got with a battle royale bend? I mean, I'd play it...

Still though, what awaits Ukiyo Ace at the finish line? What sinister plots await in the shadows?

The DGP Scheme Game may soon reach a Fever Pitch! Despite a rough start, our current five will see this through to the end! Remember Riders, past and present! If you don't fight, you don't survive! ...huh... wonder where that came from, hmm~?

...anyways, Spoilers, I guess...

-Y'know Tsumuri, I'm pretty sure there were a hell of a lot more people than six. ...though then again, considering the sorry performance Letter had, I can't imagine we had much better.

-Ah, yep, understandably still quite miffed.

-Breakfast :)

-So, those kanji were just kinda... hangin' there, huh?

-Oh come now, he just wants a job! Movie stardom can't pay all the bills

-"Punkjack. Kill him."

-I see Tsumuri cares very much about the rules.

-Ah, yep~! There it is~! Gotten too big for you to control, huh Papa Giroli?

-Keiwa-kun! Is there a Merry sheep attatching itself on your soul?

-Don't encourage gacha addiction! What the fuck guys?

-Oh shit, here we go!

-Neon-san...

-Yeah, you tell her, Dad!

-...not that I think you're a good guy or anything, but anything to get Neon outta there.

-Ah, so you're the one calling him out, huh?

-Ohhhhhhhh, management is holding your mom hostage, huh Ace?

-Goddamn ringtone.

-Gather round, folks! It's time to play!

-I see Punkjack's getting along with Grandpa Keilow.

-Very epic fall shot.

-In the Jamato Hole.

-Oh fuck, it's Keiwa.

-...is that a Christmas reef collar?

-Oh, shit, it's an escort mission!

-Every gamer's favorite!

-That kid went from having the shittiest day ever to the best day ever.

-Azuma hjlklhglj

-Welp, Keiwa, this is the guy they got to replace you!

-Ah fuck, Win's layin' down the moves.

-Can't leave.

-Alright, Cipher time!

-Jyamato Maids?

-Oh shit, Lovelica's the mastermind.

-Time to boost on through, I guess!

-HENSHIN

-Ah fuck, Rider Troops so soon? Shit man, we're in big trouble now!

-Agony

-"Imma borrow this"

-Beat! And! Boost!

-Oh goddammit airhorn.

-Well, this sucks.

-Bonk!

-Man, the Jamato... I didn't think too much of them before, but they're horrifying creatures once we get down to it.

-The Game Master. ...you were everywhere on the cringe side of YouTube a few years ago. You did however star in one of my favorite Danny Gonzalez videos, so I guess I give you a pass.

-Poor dude's horrified.

-Riders. Good luck.

-Oh very smart Mr. Game Master. Just drop 'em in for anybody to pick up.

-Good job, Giroli. You done fucked up big time.

-Ohhhh...

-That's a garden.

-I never expected plants to come back so hard from Gaim, but...

-I see this old fella here is our new villain!

-Our package has arrived.

-I seeeee...

-Oh shit, no time to think about Kurama, the violence is beginning!

-Oh fuck, the slots.

-Okay, we cheated!

-Excuse you, Hareruya, she's his older sister. Get it right, man.

-Azuma just comes right in, sayin' "Heeeeey, I'm the one who's supposed to murder Geats!"

-"C'mon sonny, it's way too early for you to quit!"

-Ohhhhh... that's... very terrifying. Just... being made to give up.

-Natural Order?

-Ohhhhh, Keilow's gonna kick ass.

-Grandpa...

-Once again, a bird guy fought for the sake of someone far younger and paid dearly for doing the right thing.

-My man fought...

-GOLDEN FEVER!

-Believe and luck will find you!

-Boooom!

-Goddamn!

-I love these freeze frame shots so much.

-THERE IT IS!

-The Boostriker!

-Golden Fever Victory!

-Ah, ending with a Bike Hammer!

-Fuck

-Up we go!

-Oh shit, Jyamato.

-We're finding that there password next time.

-Keiwa, let's gooooo!

-Oh shit, two guns, huh Ace? Double shot.

-Let's gooooo!

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 10*

Chapter 9

Chapter 11

Welp, I may have written myself into a corner here once again, my babies. I don't know if this is gonna wrap up in one more chapter, as it seems I've written a path to a crescendo, and I don't have anything planned past that. But 11 chapters is so....WRONG.

Maybe when I'm writing the next chapter something will trigger more plot so I can get to fifteen. Here's hoping.

In the meantime, have some Barisi angst! And by Barisi angst I mean Rafael and Sonny talking about you in an angsty fashion. Sorry Barisi fans.

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

@thatesqcrush

@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

-----

Sonny arranged to meet Rafael the next morning for brunch. Rafael hated using the term, but if it got him coffee he'd say whatever he had to.

He walked into the restaurant to find Sonny already sipping a Bellini. Rafael had to keep himself from rolling his eyes as he sat across him in the booth.

“Really, Carisi?” He felt the annoyance in his voice, he cleared his throat.

“Hey, don’t knock ‘em till you’ve tried' em, Barba,” Sonny rolled his eyes at the morose ADA.

“So, what was so urgent that we had to meet on my one day off this week?” Rafael not tried to be flippant as the waiter brought a French press of Italian roast Sonny had ordered for him.

“I think you know,” Sonny simply gave him a look while he poured himself a cup. Rafael just looked at him very sullenly for a very long moment as he sipped his coffee. Finally, he set it down.

“....How is she?” He simply said.

“Well, I--” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know,”

“What do you mean you don’t know, Carisi?” His tone quickly changed from flippant to worry.

“Well I--” He looked at his phone anxiously. “I left her on the train back to Jersey last night, and I told her to call me when she got home,”

“And…?” Rafael led him.

“...And she hasn’t called yet,” Sonny answered sheepishly.

“WHAT?!” Rafael practically screamed, causing the bustling restaurant to pause and stare at them for a moment, then resumed the brunch rush chaos.

“Wow there counselor,” Sonny looked at him astonished. “That’s a pretty big reaction for someone who just sent her away--”

“You told me to!” He slammed his fist on the table.

“I said if you didn’t care about her to leave her be!” Sonny argued.

“That is NOT what you said, and you know it Carisi,” Rafael huffed.

“Well, I just-- I thought that you were playing with her,” Sonny admitted softly.

“I told you I wasn’t!” Rafael snapped.

“I know, and after what she told me at the station...I believe you,” Sonny looked at him apologetically.

“...What exactly did she tell you?” Rafael softened his voice.

“Well for one she said you punched a guy for her,” Sonny answered in amusement.

“...Yeah,” He looked down at his coffee, thinking about Derek. He didn’t want to start imagining what kind of shark tank he would be walking into tomorrow at work. He had really fucked himself over by defending you, but he didn’t regret it. He didn’t know why, and that scared him even more.

“...Why?” Sonny's question knocked him back to reality.

“Because Derek said--” He clenched his fist just thinking about his glib remarks about you and him. “...Because he insulted Y/N,”

“So?” Sonny half laughed, sipping his Bellini. “Those assholes mock people all the time, you’re the one always telling me to let it go--”

“She’s different!” Rafael pounded his fist again, making Sonny’s eyes widen. He really hadn’t seen Rafael this unhinged over anyone, let alone some girl he’d just met.

“....Which is why I called you,” He continued to smile.

“What are you talking about?” Rafael's eyebrows furrowed.

“I think I fucked this up, Barba,” Sonny sighed. “I...I shouldn’t have filled Y/N’s head with the poisonous thoughts that I did--”

“What the hell did you tell her, Carisi?!” Rafael's eyes narrowed.

“I mean, I don’t know what exact words I used,” He nervously gulped down the rest of the Bellini. “...But I just, might have alluded that you were basically a man slut,”

“WHAT?”

“I...I said that you don’t really ‘do’ relationships, and that I think she deserves better than that,” He nervously played with the tablecloth now sans alcohol.

“Oh my god…” Rafael closed his eyes, trying to keep calm.

“Which is true!” Sonny defended himself. “You don’t do relationships Barba, we both know that,”

“...So what, you just-- you told her that I fucked her because, why? To prove a point that I could? To piss you off?” Rafael's eyes snapped open and were full of fire.

“No!” He shook his head, trying to keep your conversation calm. “I just...I might have alluded to that she shouldn’t hold her breath for it to be more than a one time thing,”

“Dammit, Carisi!” He pounded the table once more.

“Well how was I supposed to know she was different?” He raised his voice now as well.

“I TOLD you she was different!” He bellowed.

“When?”

“When you assaulted my door at 7 am yesterday!” He barked, not caring what kind of scene he was making. “You got pissed off because you thought that I had just banged her to-- I don’t know, get back at you or something. And I told you that I cared about her!”

“...Right…” Sonny said softly. It had been so early, his emotions were running so high. He had completely forgotten the conversation.

“Have you ever heard me say I care about someone? Someone I slept with?”

“NO!” Sonny now slammed his fist on the table. “Which is why I told her!”

“But I said I did--”

“I didn’t remember that, okay? That was on me,” Sonny apologized.

“For fuck’s sake…” Rafael rubbed his temples.

“But answer me this, Barba,” Sonny crossed his arms. “If you ‘care’ about her then why did you send her away yesterday?”

“Because I wasn’t thinking straight!” He argued. “Because I-- I was caught off guard by what I came home to. It was just...it was jarring, okay?” He looked down at the table mentally playing the scene from last night out in his head.

“Yeah, I know that Barba. I lived with it,” Sonny scoffed.

“SO DID I,” Rafael suddenly snapped and stared at Sonny very sternly.

“...What?” Sonny blinked in disbelief at Rafael's sudden words.

“My dad was an alcoholic Carisi,” He rubbed his temples, wishing he had something stronger than coffee. “Seeing Y/N like that last night just brought up a lot of...bad memories,”

“....Jesus, Barba,” Sonny whispered. “I-I’m sorry,”

“...It’s fine,” Barba dismissed it, pouring himself more coffee. “I don’t exactly advertise my personal history drama,”

“God dammit I wish I had known that though,” Sonny cursed himself. “You probably would have been more sensitive to Y/N if you knew-- about, her,”

“Yes, I would have Carisi,” He shook his head.

He wished he had known about your issues before last night, he would have understood. He wouldn’t have left you alone in the apartment all day to stew, he would’ve handled things a lot better. Just coming home to you being drunk and angry at him brought back memories of his father being the same way-- except much more violent.

“But now that you do…?” Sonny asked hopefully.

“I mean,” Rafael sighed. “My knee jerk response is ‘no way in hell’ do I want to be involved with-- that, again,”

“Right…”

“I mean, my dad left us when I was thirteen, but before that-- it was bad, Carisi,” His knuckles popped just thinking about his dad.

“I understand,” Sonny nodded.

“No I don’t think you do,” Rafael shook his head. “You grew up with a loving family. And even with Y/N, her...issues, were probably nothing compared to my dad’s,”

“...Probably not,” Sonny agreed.

“And you weren’t a kid when you were dealing with her, either,”

“Right,”

“...You know the irony here is that Y/N might be the one who would actually get what I went through,” Rafael sadly chuckled.

“I mean,” Sonny shrugged. “Maybe that’s why you two have some kind of weird bond,”

“...Weird bond?” Rafael looked at him curiously.

“Jesus Barba, how many times are you gonna make me spell it out? You both make each other different, you make each other better. I’ve never seen her so attached to someone, and vice a versa,”

Rafael thought about it-- Sonny was right. From the moment he met you, something felt different from any other person he’d ever been around. It was like you instantly clicked, you got each other. He didn’t have to try and be anyone else but himself around you, and he knew you felt the same. He began to get excited, he had to find you and tell you all of this. But then, an epiphany of dread hit him-- the reason Sonny had asked him here.

“...But she’s gone?” He asked in a whisper, tears caught his throat though he wasn't sure why.

“I..” Sonny looked down at his phone again. “I don’t know, Barba. Honestly I don’t,”

“What exactly happened before you left her last night?” Rafael crossed his arms.

“Well, she begged me to ‘send her away’ for one,” Sonny admitted.

“Send her away?” Rafael motioned to the waiter for another French press, and another Bellini for Sonny.

“Y’know like...to a facility,” Sonny muttered as the waiter brought them fresh beverages.

“A rehab,” Rafael clarified.

“Right.” He sighed. “She...said that you ‘broke’ her, or that the experience ‘broke’ her, and that all she wanted to do was drink and forget about it, but that scared her,” He looked at Rafael with his big I'm sorry puppy dog eyes. Sonny didn't want him to feel worse, but it was what you said.

Sonny’s words hit him like daggers, hearing how he ‘broke’ you. He knew he had, he had seen it in your face when you left him yesterday. He should have stopped you, he should have told you that he cared about you no matter what, he shouldn’t have been such a fucking coward.

“And…?” Rafael urged him to continue.

“And I told her that I trusted her enough not to do that,” He shrugged as he sipped his new Bellini.

“WHY would you--”

“Because I do, Barba!” Sonny interjected angrily. “ ...I did, anyway,” He added softly. “You have no idea how far she’s come; for fuck’s sake a year ago she wouldn’t have even told me she was having thoughts like that! She would’ve just acted on them,”

“Oh and this time she just told you and then acted anyway,” Rafael scoffed with a roll of his eyes.

“We don’t know that,” Sonny corrected.

“Are you serious, Carisi?” Rafael half laughed. “If you don’t believe that then why are we sitting here right now?!”

“Because I needed to know if you really cared about her,” He replied calmly.

“So I would help you look for her?” Rafael raised his eyebrow suspiciously.

“No!” Sonny shook his head. “She’s my problem Barba--”

“She is not a problem, Sonny,” He said very seriously, using his first name for emphasis. “She’s a fucking person,”

“...You do love her, don’t you?” Sonny asked with a small smile.

“Don’t be an idiot, Carisi,” Rafael rolled his eyes. “Just because I care about her and think you should treat your own cousin as a person and not a problem doesn’t mean I’m in love with her,”

“I didn’t say in love I said love,” Sonny shrugged. “Could be your weird super friend love,”

“Secret weird friends…” Rafael said softly as he pulled out his phone. He pulled up your contact info on his phone:

WEIRD SECRET FRIEND.

He took a deep breath and hit send on your name, letting it ring.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like, I’m calling her Carisi,”

“You think if she hasn’t answered me all night she’s gonna answer you?” Sonny laughed. “She knows I love her, she thinks you played her,”

“And who’s fault is that?!” Rafael sneered as he listened to your voicemail. He waited for a beep and then began to talk.

“Y/N, It’s...it’s Rafael. Look I’m--- I’m so sorry about yesterday, you have to believe me. I should have never-- look just, just call me back okay? Sonny is really worried about you….I’m really worried about you,” He said the last part softly, as if admitting a secret.

“I know that you’re mad, but we just want to know that you are safe, please be safe. Please be okay...please...just call me back. Or text me. O-Okay? We don’t even have to talk, just tell me you’re okay, okay? Okay...bye,”

He ended the call and looked at a dumbfounded Sonny. “.....What?”

“...I’ve never heard you so erratic on the phone before,” Sonny blinked. “Or in person,”

“Jesus--” Rafael scoffed. “I’m scared for her, Carisi. Is that what you want to hear? I’m scared out of my mind right now, and I don’t know why you aren’t,”

“Look Barba,” Sonny sighed, putting his hands on the table.

“Yeah I’m worried, but-- I have a hold on her credit card,” He explained. “I know where she’s spending money, and so far there hasn’t been a hit on any liquor store or for any kind of alcohol. In fact there haven't been any hits at all. So, my thought is the worst case scenario is that she's just holed up in her apartment crying it out. Which I understand,”

“Wow…” Rafael shook his head with a laugh. “Are you sure you raised her, Carisi?”

“What are you talking about?” Sonny narrowed his eyes.

“I lived with an alcoholic Sonny,” He got very serious. “I lived with an alcoholic who was constantly ‘stopping’ drinking,”

“...What--”

“Do you know what alcoholics do when they’re out of traditional grain alcohol, Carisi?” Rafael's voice got eerily quiet.

“No…”

“They find it somewhere. Anywhere. They drink mouthwash, cough syrup. Hell-- my dad almost killed himself drinking RUBBING alcohol,”

“....Fuck,” Sonny grabbed the check and ran to the register while Rafael re-dialed your number.

“Please pick up,” He begged while looking up. “Please…”

--------------

You heard your phone buzz once again in the fifteen minute intervals it had been going off. But this time, it wouldn’t stop. You were currently on a welcomed break from vomiting what felt like the entirety of your digestive system. Drinking a bottle of mouthwash wasn’t as fun as you thought it would be-- much more complicated. You hadn’t factored in all the other ingredients that are in normal everyday products that normal people use normally. You lifted your head weakly from the toilet to glance down at the screen.

RAFAEL CALLING

“What the…?” You weakly mumbled to yourself. It stopped ringing soon and was replaced by a voicemail alert. You didn’t want to listen to it, you didn’t want to hear his voice. But at the same time, it’s all you wanted to hear.

“...Please be okay...please...just call me back. Or text me. O-Okay? We don’t even have to talk, just tell me you’re okay, okay? Okay...bye,”

He sounded genuinely concerned, didn’t he? He mentioned Sonny...god damn Sonny. He probably went and told him when he couldn’t get a hold of you. But...why go to Rafael? Rafael was the one who let you go. Who didn’t care about you, right? So why did his voicemail sound so...scared?

You couldn’t talk, you could barely open your mouth to vomit anymore. You weakly texted him:

FINE. DON’T COME HERE.

As soon as you hit send, you regretted it. Why would you even bring up him coming there? He probably wasn’t thinking that, that was probably the absolute last thing on his mind. And now you had planted it in his brain, making it look like you did want him to come. Maybe he’ll just ignore it. Maybe he’ll just be glad you’re okay, and just let it--

TEXT FROM RAFAEL

Fuck.

CALL ME.

Double fuck.

TEXT TO RAFAEL: You said I could text you. I’m texting you. i’M FINE.

Full sentences, good grammar. That little caps mishap at the end might be damning.

TEXT FROM RAFAEL

I don’t believe you.

TEXT TO RAFAEL

I don’t care.

---------

“God dammit,” Rafael huffed.

“What?” Sonny asked him as they walked out of the restaurant. Rafael presented his phone to him, showing him the texts you were exchanging.

“Ah, well see Barba? Like I said, she’s fine. She’s just hurting,” Sonny gestured to his phone.

“...Are you fucking serious, Carisi?”

“Look Barba,” Sonny stopped walking to face Rafael.

“I don’t know what you went through with your dad, okay? I mean it sounds awful, and I’m sorry for that. But Y/N is not your dad. She wouldn’t start...making her own alcohol, or whatever. ‘Kay? If she says she’s fine, and there isn’t any evidence that she’s drinking again, I’m gonna trust her. You should too,”

“You just don’t want to deal with her,” Rafael rolled his eyes.

“Maybe I don’t Barba, and is that a crime? She’s not sixteen anymore, I can’t-- I can’t protect her from everything! No matter how badly I want to. Nineteen years I’ve been trying, nineteen. That’s-- all of my teens, and twenties. I just--” He took a deep breath. “I can’t do it anymore,”

“So you’re just going to leave her to die?” Rafael asked coldly.

“Don’t be dramatic, Barba,” Sonny scoffed. “I’m not going to rush to her side because she doesn’t answer a few calls. I’m not going to worry about what she might be doing. If she wants help, I will be there lightning fast, make no mistake of that. But until then-- just let her be,”

“What’s her address?” Rafael asked flatly.

“...God dammit Rafael…” Sonny looked up at the sky in frustration. “First you say you don’t wanna deal with all of her ‘stuff’, and now you won’t stop. Choose a side!”

“I am choosing a side!” he yelled. “I’m choosing her!”

“Well,” Sonny couldn’t help but smile. “...I guess I can’t argue with that. I’ll text you her address,”

“Thank you,” Rafael took a deep breath, calming himself.

“But seriously, Raf--”

“Look Sonny,” Rafael felt closer to Sonny enough now to drop the name. “I couldn’t help my dad, and I lost him. I’ll be damned if I lose her too,”

“Lose him?” Sonny's face scrunched. “I thought you said he left,”

“Yeah...left this earth,” He muttered while typing your address into Uber. “He drank himself to death,”

“Oh,” Sonny said softly, kicking himself for being so hard on him. “I’m sorry Rafael,”

“It’s fine,” He shook his head. “I mean it’s not fine-- it is what it is,”

“Right,” Sonny nodded.

“Are you sure you don't want to come?” He asked as the car pulled up. “She’s your cousin,”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’ll look a lot better if you come to her rescue on your own. Y’know, like a white knight or somethin’,” He chuckled.

“I don’t know why you’re making light of this Carisi, it’s fucking serious,”

“Barba I really think you’re being overdramatic. But if you wanna go and make a huge spectacle of your feelings for her, go for it,” Sonny shot him a thumbs up.

“...Whatever,” Rafael rolled his eyes as he got in the car, waiting for it to drive off.

He hoped he was being overdramatic, he really did.

[pika-ace]

I FINALLY SAW THE IN THE HEIGHTS MOVIE

HOLY SHIT

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I JUST WITNESSED MANNA FROM THE FUCKING GODS

My skin is clear, my children are fed, and my crops are thriving and I have SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT IT

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT! Seriously, do not read if you want to see the movie, I want you to experience this emotional ride yourselves

- I don't really need to talk about the music because, as expected, it was top-notch. Everyone was great, great voices, god-tier dancing, just good shit all around

- Songs are cut and things are changed, but honestly, NOTHING was lost so there's no need to worry. For every story element they take away, they add SO MUCH MORE with the changes they made to make up for it. It's like ITH for the first time all over again :D

- First up, Usnavi. MY GOD ANTHONY RAMOS, I AM SO SORRY I'VE BEEN SLEEPING ON YOU FOR SO LONG! I never paid him any mind back in the day because his face was just plastered all over Lams stuff (UGGGGH) so seeing him doing his own thing SEPARATE from that? I WAS ONCE BLIND BUT NOW I SEE

- The whole beach story-telling thing was throwing me off the whole time. I remember how PETRIFIED everyone was when the trailers showed that, but I had faith that there was a point to it and I WAS RIGHT!! The SECOND Sonny pointed out that green crab he painted, it was like a slap in the face, and when Usnavi started his whole 'There goes my flight' part, my cousin and I silently fist pumped in pure joy

- Also, USNAVI👏AND👏VANESSA👏AS👏MARRIED👏BUSINESS👏PARTNERS👏FUCKING👏ALL👏MY👏YES (Why did none of us think of this before????)

- USNAVI AND VANESSA GETTING A CANONICAL DAUGHTER, FUCKING YES PLEASE, PUT THAT HAT ON HER HEAD

- Next, Nina. Just...OH her voice...so soft...so gentle...I could fall asleep to that shit...

- The extra details of her being discriminated against at Stanford, just...DAMN, that shit HURTED. Best Girl doesn't deserve that shit!!!

- And her deciding to go back after learned that Sonny wants to be like her but can't due to discrimination just...BEST GIRL

- Benny just...OOZED charm, man. It almost makes me sad that he and Nina didn't play as big a role in the movie as they did in the play compared to Usnavi and Vanessa. ALMOST.

- Speaking of, Vanessa got an expanded role, HELL TO THE FUCKING YES. (She got a last name change from Otilla Garcia to Morales, but hey, her last name was just a workshop thing anyway so it's JUST not-canon enough to make changing it acceptable)

- Vanessa being the one who decided on the mural thing and getting Pete and Sonny to help just...BEAUTIFUL. That's TRUE LOVE right there

- Lin as Piragua Guy and Chris Jackson as Mr. Softee; that was the funniest meta shit I've EVER seen.

- I?? Did not expect?? To come out of this LOVING Kevin Rosario??? Like, he was SO MUCH BETTER and less antagonistic??? And I LOVED IT??

- Seriously though, getting rid of his prejudice against Benny was THE MOST WELCOME CHANGE in this whole movie (to me at least). When those two were together in the dispatch during the Blackout and helping people, that was just *chef's kiss* That was the pseudo-father-son shit I have been CRAVING for those two!

- Blackout was much less scary and chaotic than we were led to believe in the stage play; a part of me was disappointed, but the way they made it with everyone taking it in stride made up for it. It was like 'Aw dammit, blackout! Welp, bust out the fireworks and the Bingo boards, we're gonna be in the dark for a while, you all know the drill.'

- Also, lights turning back on RIGHT after Carnival del Barrio? Nice touch 👌

- Pete was SO GOOD. Favorite scene:

Usnavi, with Sonny: You're out here; who's watching the store? *points to Pete who's booking it out of the store having stolen something*

Sonny: *runs after him* PETE NO, YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT!!!

- Age gap still seems a bit ambiguous between Sonny and Pete, so until confirmation is given, this pairing is staying EXPLICITLY in the stage version tag on Ao3 XD

- PETE PROVIDING VANESSA WITH INSPIRATIONAL MATERIALS, THAT IS A FACET OF FRIENDSHIP I NEVER KNEW I WANTED

- Also, appreciate Usnavi being MUCH less antagonistic towards Pete, just treating him as an annoying kid that enjoys getting a rise out of him rather than a vandal that's a bad influence who Usnavi WILL call the cops on if pushed.

- Daniela and Carla were REALLY awesome together and I'm DOWN for them being a couple, even though Hollywood STILL decided to be cowards about it with no on-screen kiss or mention that they were girlfriends (come on guys, it's 2021, stop hiding the gays!!)

- Abuela. ABUELAAAAAAAA. NEED I SAY MORE????

Usnavi: I wanna take you and Sonny to DR

Abuela: I'm not leaving without Sonny

Me: MY QUEEN, YEEEEES

- When I saw her lying down during Blackout and staring at Usnavi and Sonny and then started transitioning into Paciencia y Fe, my writer brain IMMEDIATELY began putting those metaphor pieces together and was like 'No...no no no no NO, don't you do this to me, DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE DO THIS TO ME-'

- Alabanza had me sobbing; no comment.

- The lotto money twist was SO GOOD??? Like, my cousin and I were VERY concerned when it wasn't brought up AT ALL, but then when it turns out she saved the ticket to give to Usnavi as a final gift after her death just...TEARS EVERYWHERE

- And last but not least...Sonny. Sonny Sonny Sonny Sonny SONNYYYYYYYYYYY! My son, my child, the light of my life, the stars in my sky, was given justice on this day!!!

- HE HAS A DAD!! IT'S A SHITTY DAD BUT HE HAS A PLACE TO LIVE!!! IT'S BETTER THAN WHAT WE HAD BEFORE AND I THANK BASED LMM FOR GIVING MY BOY THE BACKSTORY HE DESERVED!! (Fanfic writers, I expect MOUNTAINS of angst and hurt/comfort from you all with this new material!)

- RIP Smol Sonny, but that baby face of his MORE than made up for it :3c

- Usnavi WANTING to take Sonny to DR right off the bat, just...THANK YOU. That was DESPERATELY NEEDED and was even wrapped up early and neatly with Sonny saying to Usnavi 'Nah, I grew up here in NY, I have no memories of DR but YOU do, so if you wanna go, then go, I like it here.' and since he HAS A FUCKING HOME here, the worry for his well-being is GONE and it feels GOOD.

- Learning Sonny was undocumented was a PUNCH IN THE FUCKING HEART! My mind IMMEDIATELY reminded me when his dad asked Usnavi why he only paid Sonny in cash and the FACE HE MADE when Nina said that undocumented kids can't get in college just BABY NOOOOOOOOOO

- Usnavi. Using. The goddamn lotto money. TO GET SONNY DOCUMENTED. MY DE LA VEGA COUSIN LOVING HEART HAS FUCKING ASCENDED AND IS NEVER COMING BACK DOWN. DADNAVI SUPREMACY.

Do I have ANY gripes with this movie? Yes, I do.

THEY FUCKING KILLED CAMILA. I DO NOT APPRECIATE BEST MOM GETTING THE DISNEY TREATMENT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH >:/

Other than that though, this movie is a 10/10, go see it. Right now. I mean it.

[olivereliocorcordium1983]

Summary: "I will try it on for Oliver. If Oliver thinks I look like a scarecrow in it, I'm not wearing it." - Elio, (call me by your name) basically what would have happened if Oliver had stayed instead of going to see his translater. XD

(got inspired by a pic on @charmied and my muse hit here is what became of it! Enjoy! ❤️)

Oliver

The sun was particularly hot that day at the villa I was sitting outside with Elio and his family relaxing at the breakfast table, when I had heard Elio say something that caught my attention. More specifically caught me off guard as I was thinking about meeting my translator for the day and going over my book that evening. 

“I will try it on for Oliver. If Oliver thinks I look like a scarecrow in it, I'm not wearing it.”  

“Wait hold on! What? Why am I being roped into this and show me what?! “

I keep totally silent for a second until Elio catches my attention, and I just give him a look as he says, “Oliver? What do you think?” his eyes are hopeful.

“Why does he care what I think?”

I look at Annella who gives a soft smile and I quickly say, “What time you got?” grabbing Elio’s wrist, turning it in my hand so that I can look at his watch and he gives me another look that wishes for me not to go. Or is that irritation upon my multiple times of leaving? I can’t tell, either way this situation makes me nervous and I don’t trust myself. 

“Two thirty.”  Annella replies for Elio, before she puts her cigarette to her lips, all knowing smirk on her face. 

I watch Elio disappear into the house after that, practically running as fast as he can to get away from the table. 

‘I shouldn’t follow him, I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t.  I’ve been good, I haven’t done anything to be ashamed of… yet.’

I have been so good up until now, I have kept my distance from him not giving into the thoughts that come to my mind. My feelings about this boy have been kept to myself and the fear of them, make me nervous yet, it is no secret that I want him. But he doesn’t know that. 

‘Don’t follow him. Don’t…. Oh what the hell sate the curiosity before it’s too late. Besides, you have plenty of time.’ 

“Welp later mrs P.”  I reply giving her a closed mouth smile. 

“Later.”  she replies and as I head into the house, jogging lightly  I can feel her eyes staring at my back the entire time while I go and search for Elio. 

Once inside I look around and search for the professor I look into the kitchen, the study, the hallways, I even poke my head outside again just for good measure, and he isn’t anywhere to be found. The only person I find is Mafalda taking care of the fish Anchise brought from his daily catch, she looks up at me expectantly as if to ask  “can I help you?” and I just smile, backing out of the room and then I hear yelling coming from upstairs.

It’s the professor’s voice along with Elio’s petulant whine and I can’t help but head towards the staircase, my shoes giving off soft taps as they hit the floor, I place my hand on the railing and look up debating on whether or not I should go up and see what’s wrong.

“Papa! It will look up like a put up job!”

“No misbehaving tonight! No laughing. When I tell you to play you will play! You’re too old not to accept people for who they are! What’s wrong with them?”  

There is a pause and I slowly decide to ascend the stairs slowly, sliding my hand up the railing. The argument doesn’t sound like a full on angry fight like shouting but clearly pro is trying to make a point, I can also hear the sound of things being shuffled around, like hangers being dragged across metal. 

“What’s wrong with them? You call them Sonny and Cher! Behind their backs and then you accept gifts from them!”

“That is what mom calls them!” Elio shouts back a soft laugh in his voice and I shake my head slowly, as I stop at the top of the steps that lead into the hallway to the room I am staying in. 

“The only person that reflects badly on, is you. Is it because their gay? Or because they’re ridiculous?”

Elio is laughing by this point and all I can think is that if it was me, my father would have smacked me. No conversation at all just full on smacked. But I can’t help the snickers that come from my mouth that I muffle with the back of my hand, as I come closer. 

“Now get into this you.” and that was the last of the conversation and I move to the side as the professor comes out of the room, he looks at me and he shakes his head softly. I give him a look of comfort shrugging softly as I watch him move to my left to go back down the stairs, the sound of his shoes echo in my ears. 

I walk slowly to the bedroom door and gently knock once, twice, and then I open the door and step into the room, the sight that I see makes my eyes widen and my mouth goes dry. 

Elio is standing in front of the mirror with what I assume is the shirt in question on backwards with a fallen, almost frustrated look in his eyes as he finally notices me standing there. A blush comes over his cheeks and he looks away from me, ashamed almost from not being able to figure out how to put it on as I sit down in his chair at his desk. 

“That’s quite the… um... look you got on there, Elio. It’s-”

“Stupid. It’s stupid. I knew this was a bad idea, I shouldn’t have never-” He shakes his head, his soft curls bouncing around with the movement, his eyes welling up, his nose turning pink, he grabs the shirt and is about to pull it off when I suddenly reach out and stop him with my words. 

“Elio, come here… please.” 

‘What are you doing?! You said you wanted to be good! This is NOT being good!’ 

Silently he walks to me with his head down, slight pout on his red lips and all I can think about at that moment is wanting to kiss him. To taste his lips with mine, and admire the effort he has so strategically put together in order to I don’t know… get my attention. Well, you have it Elio you have my full attention now what? What is it that you want from me?

I look at him then at the “shirt” running my fingers over the straps first, they are softer than they look, that is surprising and I give an experimental tug on them. 

“What the fuck even is this? Cuz, this is the weirdest shirt I’ve ever seen!” There is a smile in my voice and Elio shrugs his shoulders at me, the pout isn’t there anymore but is replaced with slight mirth, and I know he is trying his best not to laugh. 

“How should I know, it was a gift from one of my parent’s friends and his husband, who are coming over for dinner tonight. I don’t know what the fuck they were thinking sending this to me, I can’t even put whatever this thing is on right.”

Against my better intentions I decide that we should inspect this so called “shirt” a little further and Elio blinks at me, hands down at his sides, he does this awkward sway and the air has turned and changed between us. 

“Let’s see if we can’t figure this thing out together.”  

“Yes, please,” he replies biting his lip. It comes out in a nervous almost breathless nature and I can tell he wants me to touch him. This is why he wanted me up here after all isn’t it? To show me what he was going to wear or was it just a false pretence for something else. 

I gently tug on the straps and pull his slender frame towards me, so that he is close standing between my legs, his stomach fully exposed to me, his chest slightly covered by the top of the shirt oh hell, lets just call it what it looks like alright? It looks like a damn bib? Yes. I will settle for that than calling it a shirt, most shirts that I have seen have backs on them. This thing… doesn’t and the skin that I have longed to touch is staring me in the face right now.

I swallow the lump forming in my throat. “Go shut the door please.” I instruct and I watch Elio do as he is told, shutting the door and locking it. He makes his way back over to me and again I grab the straps hanging down his front and pull him towards me again. 

“Okay turn around for me.”  He turns slowly so that his back is facing me and I see the whole bib is sequenced into some wild pattern. Without even thinking I reach out and let my hand run it slowly and I see Elio visibly shutter, now whether that is because of me or the temperature of the room I don’t know. 

“Well…” he trails off in an annoyed sigh. “Hurry up! They could be here any minute and I don’t want to have my father come back up here and scold me again!” 

“Do you want my help or not Elio cuz if not-”  he interrupts me then as he turns to face me again, his hand shooting out to touch my left shoulder, his eyes focused on mine, the nervous energy he holds comes out, as he tries to back petal his attitude towards me.

“No! I mean… uh, yes, I do want your help.” He looks away from me staring at something more interesting to his left side, picking out a book possibly to look at other than my face. “I’m sorry, I just don’t see why I have to impress those people who have known me since birth Oliver. It seems I don't know… redundant don’t you think?” 

I chuckle leaning forward. I purposefully press my lips into his belly and close my eyes briefly when I hear Elio’s soft gasp, and his long fingers playing with my hair. I know I shouldn’t be doing this but I can’t help myself, his skin is so soft looking and I want to help him relax so why not? 

‘There goes my will for being good’

“Whaa… Oliver, What are you doing?!” He laughs when I nuzzle him and he pulls me closer, trying to steady himself as I let my hands roam over his sides, over his ticklish spots and back down. 

“Helping you relax.” are the only words that leave my mouth and I smirk of course I am doing what I always do with him teasing, in hopes of lightening his mood. “You worry too much, you know that. They probably aren’t even going to notice your shirt. It doesn’t even look stupid so… take it off and let me put it on you the right way.”

So far all we have done was constantly flirt with each other on occasion. From the day I sat with him in the hallway and massaged his feet, to the playful banter back and forth in the pool. It all has led to this moment right here, and all I can think about is wanting to touch and kiss every inch of  his skin. He is all I have dreamed about, the consequences be damned. It is his fault, he ignited the flame first, and now I have no control well, at least not when he is sliding his hand through the collar of my shirt, his fingers brushing over my collar bones. 

I slowly stand up to full height and he takes a step back, lifting his arms up over his head, off the bib goes exposing his beautiful pale skin. I smile down at him and he looks up at me with such innocence,that I don’t know what to do with myself. 

‘Focus on the task at hand Oliver!’  

My mind chides me while my heart is in my throat. I turn the contraption around and slowly slip it over his head and he slips his arms through the holes. Then he slowly turns around so that I can help him with the straps, I pull them, tight but not tight enough to hurt him and tie them off, my knuckles gently and soothingly brushing against his skin. 

He turns to face me and without preamble I take his face into my hands, my thumbs sweeping across his pale cheeks, my eyes soften. “It looks lovely on you, Elio.” and then I press my lips to his, closing my eyes, I breath him in briefly as his body slowly melts into mine, my fingers curl around the back of his neck gently. 

The kiss isn’t demanding; it's just brief too brief as I pull away at the honk of a horn and Elio’s father calling him from outside. 

“See you at midnight. Later!”  I say enthusiastically with a wink, leaving him standing there in his room, with his eyes closed and a smile on his kiss swollen lips. 

(sorry for any mistakes I typed this out rather quickly)

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

one | hard to forget | hangman.

↱ authors notes: ↲

Ahhh okay. Here we go. This is going to pick up where Darlin left off, give or take a few days so... if you haven’t read that, you might want to stop everything and go click on the link above and do that. I’m a little excited right now, because I purposely ended that one-shot on a cliffhanger. Because I wanted to try this so... Here’s to hoping it doesn’t flop.

↱ pairing ↲

adam hangman page x ofc! rosalie.

↱ summary↲

Adam and Rosalie shared a night together. A night that neither one of them can forget and yet, neither one of them seem to be able to talk to the other about. Between their own personal issues, backstage gossip and other awkwardness, will they eventually find their way together?

↱ warnings↲

I switch back and forth between first and third person (first=rosalie and third=hangman) and I realize that can be jarring for some, so I thought I’d warn you about that now... Now on to the actual warnings you need to be aware of...slow burn. angst. two stubborn fucking people both going through their own issues. alcohol mentions. probably smut at some point, idk. for now, that’s all I got.

↱ tag squad↲

If you want to be tagged in my writing, go add your @ to this doc here. If you’re not on there / haven’t told me you want to be tagged, you’re not getting tagged.

@kyleoreillysknee​

@rampagewriting​

@writertoo18​

@thatnerdwriter​

@wrestlingismyguiltypleasure​

@chasingeverybreakingwave​

@waywardwrestlewritingwaif​

@sassymox​

@unabashedwrestlefics​ 

@wardl0w​ 

@wrestlingthot​ 

↱ other stuff ↲

[ tag list doc | masterlist | soundtrack to this fic | about page ]

                                                ONE 

[ ROSALIE]

I could feel Adam’s eyes on me, but like I’ve been tending to do lately, I trained my eyes intently on my Instagram app. I was only half listening to what Swole was saying at this point and I think she knew it, because she cleared her throat to get my attention as she nodded in Hangman’s direction.

“What?”

“Did you talk to him?” she gave me an expectant look as she licked the pudding off her spoon and I dropped my head, sighing quietly. “What do you think?”

“I think that if you don’t at least say something, you’re never gonna know.”

“And maybe that’s the way it should be, Swole.” I shook my head as I picked up the bottle of water sitting to my left and sat my cell phone down.

Sonny Kiss flopped down into the chair next to mine and took one look at me before bursting into laughter and shooting Swole a look. “She still hasn’t said anything.”

“Did you really think she would?” Swole scoffed at Sonny, shooting me a playful dirty look. “That man is over there suffering right now, girl.”

“It’s got nothing to do with me though. Besides, look at me!” I shook my head, picking at my salad as I lowered my voice and finished, “I’m a goddamn mess.”

“I swear to God, if one of them doesn’t bring up what happened soon, I’m taking matters into my own hands and shoving them in a closet together.” Thunder Rosa spoke up from her spot at the table. 

All I could do was open and close my mouth, trying to stammer out something in my defense. There wasn’t anything, no excuse I could offer to justify not attempting to find out what the other night meant to Adam, if it even meant anything at all. I just simply couldn’t bring myself to do it.

To hear it one more time. And this time from someone who’d managed to get deep under my skin. Who now lived in my head -and my heart, totally rent free.

I knew I’d never be able to handle hearing the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” shtick again. And I knew that Adam Page was a far better man than I could ever hope to even come close enough to being worthy of.

“So you’re a mess. I mean… He’s been a train wreck too, as of late.”

I gave Thunder Rosa an evil look almost as soon as she said it, but I found my gaze drifting off her and settling on him. Sitting alone in the corner of catering. It took everything in my power not to get up and go over to him like I wanted. But somehow, I managed to keep from doing it. 

“I know! And that’s probably the only reason he stooped to hook up with me! Guys, look. I love all of you but the facts are the facts...Sometimes, things just happen. Me hooking up with Adam last week? He was in a bad place. We know he never would’ve done it otherwise. Kinda sucks because we all know how I felt about it happening. I love the guy. And I just…” I trailed off because I’d been about to remind myself for the millionth time that it was ridiculous, we barely spoke. And he probably didn’t know my actual name, hence the reason he referred to me as darling the entire time. It wasn’t a term of endearment, but more likely, a way for him to distance himself from what was happening. A placeholder name because given how fast we got to that stage, it wouldn’t exactly have been anything short of awkward as hell for him to stop and ask my damn name.

I was determined. It was drilled into my brain. That night probably didn’t mean anything to him. He was lonely, hurting and I was a comforting warm body. We’re both consenting adults, sometimes things happen that way. God, did I not want it to be true. But, I was trying to really hammer it in my brain that more than likely, it was true.

“I mean I beg to differ, but go on, Rosalie. Show your whole stubborn ass, girl.” Sonny insisted, giving a snort and shaking their head at me. Thunder Rosa glanced from me to someone just behind me and as she grumbled and continued to stare behind me, my stomach churned.

“Well, if you didn’t want word getting out, that’s probably not gonna be a possibility anymore. Especially the part about you being in love...”

I felt my stomach starting to churn and I dropped my head to the tabletop, lightly banging it against. “Seriously? Who heard it?”

“Oh, only Matt fucking Jackson.” Swole rolled her eyes as she told me who’d been eavesdropping.

“Well that’s just fucking splendid.” I grumbled quietly, biting my lip as I watched Matt walking across catering towards his brother Nick. He winked at me before whispering something into Nick’s ear and if I thought my stomach was churning before, whew.. It was really churning now.

“Welp, that settles it. Time to look into selling a kidney. To buy a private island.” I tried to make a joke out of the situation, standing abruptly and gathering up my wrappers and the empty water bottle. Bracing myself to walk right past Matt and Nick’s table on my way to the bin.

And then Adam’s table on my way out of catering.

I’d just thrown away my trash and turned around, finding myself body to body with Matt.

“What?” I eyed him, trying my best to play casual. Pretend like I wasn’t fully aware he’d overheard my dirty little secrets. He eyed me up and down, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

“Just find it interestin’ is all.”

“What?” I rolled my eyes, attempting to make a step to the side and get the hell away from him. 

“You and Hangman.”

“What about it? Look, if you’re about to be sleazy, just know that Adam and I were a one time thing. And I do not intend to repeat what happened with anyone else. Especially not you.” I took a deep breath as I finished speaking, my body tense and prepared for battle. I know how men like Matt are when their ego gets a little wounded.

He pouted a little, leaning in closer. “Oh? But you were just sayin you loved the guy. I was just thinkin… If he’s not into you, darlin.. Maybe you could give me a shot?”

“What I said is precisely why I wouldn’t bother with you.. I’m not into flings, thanks bye.” I snapped at him as I gaped up at him in disbelief. I shoved past Matt with my ears burning, not daring to look anyone else in the eye on my way out. 

“You know you’re curious, sweetheart.” Matt taunted after me. I didn’t even bother dignifying the remark with a comeback because honestly, I was just still seething from the audacity of the guy to even say it to me.

Adam and I collided hard. He reached out to steady me and like an idiot, I shrank away, flinching a little because I was still unnerved by Matt’s whole attempt a few seconds before. Staring up at him a second or two, willing my brain to work. 

The second I saw his eyes darken and get stormy, I swallowed hard. 

,, welp, that confirms it. Guy can’t even look at me without being disgusted.” I thought to myself, taking a deep breath, muttering quietly, “Sorry, I.. I was in a hurry.”

“Yeah, I can see that, Rosie.”

Him actually using my name and not simply settling for Darlin’ had a little flicker of hope daring to spring to light. It was hope I quickly dashed. Nope, not likely.

Those baby blues were fixed on me and I felt my thighs clench all over again. My mouth opened and closed too. I couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t make everything so much more awkward than it was just leaving it be like I had been.

“I.. I have to go.” I pushed past him and hurried out of catering, down the hall and into the hair and makeup room. I leaned heavily against the wall, taking a few shaky breaths. There was so much I would’ve said if I hadn’t left in a hurry. Everything I felt, everything I wanted and needed, it had all been literally a breath away from spilling out. 

[ ADAM ]

,, Well, that’s that.” Adam sighed as the thought came, shaking his head sadly. He’d been trying for a little over a week now to get her to herself because someone had to mention what happened. It obviously wasn’t going to be her. 

And if the way she flinched back at me a few seconds ago is anythin’ to go by,” Adam thought to himself, “She doesn’t want me to bring it up either.” 

Just the thought ate him up. It added to everything else already happening, everything that was spinning too far out of control for him to even attempt fixing now.

He flopped back into the seat he’d been sitting in and propped his head against his hands, eyes closing tight.

There had to be some way out of all this. 

He really couldn’t stomach the possibility that he was going to lose everyone. Her, before he even really got a chance to have her like he wanted. All to himself.

,, figures, she agrees with the rest of ‘em. Well, fuck it.” the intrusive thought crept in and Adam fought to keep it out.

But lately, it was getting harder and harder to fight these pesky little intrusive thoughts. He was starting to resign himself to the fact that everything about his current situation in life was fucked 10 ways to Sunday and he was starting to realize that while his friends may have set it in motion months ago, he certainly hadn’t helped matters only.

Finishing his bottled water, he stood and made his way over to the garbage, tossing the bottle in. He didn’t particularly care to stick around. Making conversation with any of them seemed a bit of a moot point now. He didn’t even begin to know where to start, making things right with his friends.

And Rosie? Still a huge goddamn mystery to him.

He felt like they might have connected that night backstage. But then she made herself damn near invisible. And she was nothing if not good at it, too. And asking around didn’t help anything. Asking around only seemed to highlight the fact that nobody actually knew her. 

All he wanted was one chance. One shot to explain that if he didn’t already want her so badly he could feel it in his bones way down deep, that night never would’ve went down between them. That he hadn’t just been doing it as a heat of the moment thing. That she hadn’t just been a source of comfort that night.

He spotted Sonny on his way out of catering and he stopped them.

“How well you know Rosie?” Adam asked the question cautiously, eyeing Sonny intently, hoping maybe he’d get some form of answer he could work with. Anything right now would be nice. Because right now, he was officially out of ideas. ,, aside from the obvious one, goin up to her and demandin to talk. Because of course, that’s outta the damn question. I can’t handle hearin’ here politely tell me that night was a one time thing when I want it to be more than that.” Adam thought to himself as he shuffled his feet, waiting. 

Sonny eyed him, a hand on their hip as they did so. “Well enough to say that if you don’t say something first, nothing will ever be said, Page.”

With that said, Sonny turned on their heels and walked out of the area, leaving Hangman to stand there, his hand against the back of his head as he tried to figure out what his next move was.

,, If I even bother with one. That flinch ought t’ be my answer. People don’t flinch without a damn good reason. The reason was obviously me. She regrets it. I need t’ leave it alone. Let her be.” 

[ ROSALIE]

The door banged shut to hair and makeup and I caught sight of Thunder Rosa making her way in, flopping down into my hair and makeup chair again. 

“Girl, that new guy in Lights. He asked for your number again.”

“Yeah, no.. He wants a hook up. God knows I’ve made enough of a mess lately.”

“And you’d only sleep with a co-worker if you really love them. Like Adam?” Rosa teased and I grumbled at her, shrugging. “I never said that.”

“You don’t have to! You’re a shitty liar and you can’t hide anything to save your life. The only thing saving your skin is the fact that the poor guy has a ton of baggage heaped on him right now.”

“Speaking of… That interview with Tony earlier.. Is he okay right now?”

“You’d know if you’d fucking talk to the man.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed. The sting of the words he said about himself earlier came rushing back all over again.

“I feel like from head to toe, I’m full of poison.” 

No matter what I tried, I couldn’t un-hear the words. And all I’d wanted to do when I heard him say it was go to him. Show him that he wasn’t.

I kind of have the feeling that right now, he’d never believe me. And it bothers me.

And the fact that it bothers me bothers me even more.

I grumbled at myself in frustration all over again as I dug around in my kit, getting out the stuff I used to do Rosa’s lashes and the other makeup she’d need to paint the half of her face and I sighed.

Yeah, I know everyone is right. I should talk to him. But here’s the thing. I fucking can’t. I’ve literally been outside of his hotel room. A speech all prepared in my head. About to knock on the door. 

And then all I can hear is everything I’ve ever heard out of anyone else when I dare hope that maybe just once I’ll be enough.

Or all the stuff my ex liked to say to try to keep me with him. 

Once that stuff gets in your head and it fucks with you, it never entirely stops. And I know that even if I had him, my own insecurities would probably drive him running for the hills if nothing else did first.

“You know that doing this is letting Jonny win..Right? The only out is through. You need to work through all this stuff in your head that keeps insisting you’re not worth it for somebody.”

“Did you just shrink me, Rosa?”

“I call it like I see it.”

“And all I’m saying is that maybe.. Throwing myself headfirst into… this.. Is not the best idea for either of us right now. I had him, okay? For one night, I had him. If that’s all I get, that’s all I get.”

“But you could have more. You could talk to the man. You could work through whatever happened. Because I don’t think he’d just fucking sleep with you if he didn’t want you already, okay? He’s not exactly like the other jerks we work with.”

“I know.” 

God, did I know. His being completely different than other men was what drew me to him. Because he wasn’t  

He stood out among all the douche bags and dogs that seemed drawn to me like a magnet. For whatever reason, the calm I felt whenever he was around was almost overwhelming. It terrified me because I hadn’t ever felt it before.

It made it entirely too easy for me to just let go. Take the risk of opening up all over again. Something I hadn’t done in so long that now, faced with the desire to do so, I was actually terrified of doing it. 

“It’s driving you crazy, Rosie. Either you do something about it, or you let a shot pass you by. I thought you were the kind of girl who doesn’t scare easily.”

“This is different.” I emphasized my point and gave a pleading look, hopeful that maybe she’d leave the situation alone. But no, of course not. She pressed further.

“No, it’s stupid, that’s what it is.”

And yeah, I knew she was right. It was stupid. And I did want to say something. I couldn’t keep avoiding the guy. But damned if I knew how to go about bringing up what happened between us, let alone anything else I might want and need to ask him.

Besides, the way he looked at me earlier in catering hadn’t exactly inspired any confidence to do so.

“At least think about it.”

“I am. Constantly.”

“I can’t with you.”

“I can’t with myself right now, honestly. I really went all out with this one, huh?” I laughed and shook my head as I sank down into a chair and took a few deep breaths. “It doesn’t have to be this damn dramatic.”

“Exactly!”

‘But then I think I have the nerve to talk to him and I think of a million and one good reasons not to.” 

“Damn it, Rosie.”

“I just… I need time. I need to ease into this.”

The door was knocked on and Rosa and I shared a look. I stood and made my way over, throwing it open. MJF stood there, that little smirk as he eyed me up like a piece of meat. I scowled at him.

“What the hell do you want, Max? Was my not unless hell froze over not clear enough?”

“Oh.. it was clear. But here’s the thing.. I refuse to believe it.” Maxwell stepped into the room and I grumbled, flipping off his turned back after rolling my eyes skyward.

Did anybody backstage know how to keep their goddamn mouth shut?

“See. I heard something interesting about you.” Maxwell held my gaze, a calm smirk playing at his lips as he looked me up and down. I could feel my stomach churning already and honestly, it took everything inside of me NOT to just reach out and strangle Maxwell... First Matt, then him.. Because obviously, Matt’s been running his mouth about what he just heard, that has to be it... I reminded myself, taking a deep breath as I tried to calm down.

“Oh yeah?”

“I heard you actually did get mixed up with somebody back here. Contrary to what you told me.. You know, that crap about not mixing business with pleasure.”

“See, here’s the thing, Maxy boy. I never said I considered… anything… involving you… Pleasure. So… there’s that.” I pointed to the open door and he eyed me, rubbing his chin. “You’ll wind up giving in. Everybody does.” I stood taller, giving a firm glance to the door before glaring up at him and tapping my foot. All I wanted was Maxwell to get the hell away from me. I mean.. Sure that was tied with the firm desire to find Matt Jackson and punch him in the cock because somehow, he must have been running his mouth and now, naturally, my personal business was all out there for the world to know, but hey.. Getting Maxwell the entire fuck out of my sight was up high on that list.

“Pretty sure I’d rather bind my legs shut with molasses first. Are you done making an entire ass of yourself? Because I’d really like to get back to my actual job.” I rolled my eyes and again, I pointed at the door. The guy had three seconds and I was going to let my inner bad bitch out to play. Lucky for me, Maxwell seemed to finally take the hint and he made a retreat, eye-fucking me one last time on his way out the door.

Once the door was closed behind me, I leaned against it and lightly beat the back of my head against. “I swear to God, this is… Why am I the kind of person who goes without being messy until suddenly, I go ham and it’s a literal shit-storm?”

“I mean, look on the bright side. Sooner or later now one of you has to bring it up?”

“Fucking hilarious, Rosa. Fucking hilarious.” I muttered sarcastically as I poked my tongue out at her and pouted.

“If the poor guy wasn’t disgusted enough at doing what he and I did last week already, pretty sure he’s gonna fucking LOVE this going around.” I rubbed my forehead, pacing back and forth in front of the door.

“Nobody’s gonna even think about this longer than a day.”

I eyed her with a brow raised. Somehow, I doubted. 

“I’m being serious. This is not a big deal. Tomorrow something else will happen and nobody’s gonna think about it.”

“ God, I can only hope.” I mumbled quietly as I made the choice to shove it all out of my head, get to work on Rosa’s makeup for the night instead. In the back of my mind, I found myself wondering just how far spread everything had gotten by now.

Knowing Matt’s tendency to shoot off his mouth, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m the talk of the men’s locker room. I pretty much resigned myself to the realization that if I wanted things to go smoothly between me and Adam, this getting out probably guaranteed they wouldn’t.

And in a flash, something intimate and private, between two people, became this publicly known thing. And it annoyed me, because that was never what I intended. Especially granted what Adam’s already going through with the guys.

He didn’t need this shit on top of it.

[ais-n]

1 | more like apologise for how harmful it was? how the mlm relationships were so clearly hetero? the sex scenes were so straight to me tbh. and i say this as someone who has read the books twice. first time i didn't see what i saw the second time. i think you genuinely wanted to have people of colour representation but it's very racist to me how hsin and emilio were done. constantly called "exotic" which is a thing americans like to use so much when it's not their ethnicity.

Hi! Thanks for the detailed explanation, I appreciate it! At first I had such HIGH HOPES I could reply to all three of your asks in one place but it turns out I talked too much (go figure lol) So I’m going to do then one at a time. I did want to start out replying to one offhand comment in the 3rd ask and then I’ll get into the rest. Below is what I had written before I realized I need to split it into three and then edited out saying I’m answering all at once. For anyone who hasn’t seen all three asks yet, that’s why part of what I’m talking about isn’t represented above - anon, hopefully it makes more sense to you since you know the future right now from what you had written in the past. ....wow, I made that confusing.

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Thank you for the explanation! I appreciate you too! Also you made me laugh out loud at the gay comment, so thank you for that XD You are not making me feel worse; I appreciate the courage you no doubt had to pull together to post this :) I could be wrong but if I imagine myself in your place, I imagine feeling a little scared or intimidated to post and yet feeling it is necessary. I think it’s really cool you were able to post this in such a thoughtful explanation. Thank you!

In order to not overwhelm anyone’s inbox - and to make it easier for you - I put these all together in one ask. [[[EDIT: JUST KIDDING I talk too much - this is answering stuff from each ask at a time, sorry. I put it behind a cut to make it less long on people’s dashboards.]]] 

Still, I imagine with so much I want to talk about at once, I will probably miss things so let me know if I miss something you really wanted to talk about or you wanted follow up on something in particular.

Anyway READ MORE BELOW for a probably stupidly long reply lol Just, knowing me at least….

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hi welcome to the below deck party! I don’t know why I said it that way. That was creepy sorry lol Anyway I’m breaking this up a little bit but the more I think about it the more I think this probably really can’t address everything properly in one place. So, again, seriously just let me know if you want follow up on anything - or if anyone does, for that matter. I’m not doing this quite in order though.

RACE: 

Yeah actually, I agree that “exotic” is pretty ??? terminology to be using tbh. I don’t imagine I would use that wording if I were writing something today and if we were to edit the series now, I’d remove it. I don’t remember the context, to be honest; whether it was only used in narration or if it was used in dialogue too. Dialogue might stay, if it’s to show a person speaks a certain way and has certain views on life, but I’d personally probably change that in narration unless it had a specific reason for being there. Which my very vague memories combined with your comment make me think probably not?

In regards to Hsin/Emilio plus even terminology like ‘exotic’ or whatever being used - so, upfront, I need you to know this whole post is not an excuse or etc. It’s just an explanation. 

I didn’t write Hsin or Emilio, so I honestly can’t speak for or about them. I would like to be able to give you some insight into “Sonny’s” background and his friends and family he said he was inspired by in writing them, or give you insight into Alicia’s background (as she is a person of color, at least I was always told she is), but I truly don’t even know what was a lie and what was truth anymore. He always told me his characters like Hsin and Emilio were based pretty directly on people he knew - well, Emilio in particular was hugely based on a cousin of his. But that cousin didn’t exist, it turns out, or at least not in the way I knew. We wrote our own characters and were in charge of their own stories, although we also co-wrote the series as a whole and had input on the plot and etc. But I never really dealt directly with Emilio or Hsin in the writing of them other than how my characters interacted with “his” characters.

I can’t speak on behalf of anyone so I honestly can’t say if Emilio and/or Hsin are concerning or not concerning portraitures of any demographic. I really feel that such a determination has to be up to each reader. I say that in part because I’ve heard over the years that people actually appreciated the way they were written, for various reasons, and some of the people saying that were from demographics that the characters represented. But that also doesn’t mean it has to be something across the board; that because one person feels a certain way, everyone else whether in or out of that demographic has to agree. Quite the opposite, really.

I wish I could even say something like “I know Sonny did a lot of research on xyz specific topic because we talked about abc in regards to it” but I can’t. I know we had those conversations but I don’t know if anything I was told is true. What I can say is the series was written basically 15 years ago. Or rather, started around 15 years ago, then written on/off over multiple years. And we started it essentially in the same vein as BL fanfic, just sort of as a fun thing to do on our off time without any initial plan to ever publicly share it. The good thing about humans and culture is we change as we grow, and there are many things we can continue to gain understanding of as we go. 

One of the really good things about the last 15 years is it’s become more and more accessible to learn about the world and its people. When we started ICoS, for example, Google streetview wasn’t a thing. In order to try to be accurate about something like the streets of a particular city, we either had to totally make shit up and say the war changed everything in that town or I had to try to track down a paper map of it and hope nothing had changed significantly since then. 

Slowly over the years, the globalization of information expanded. Over time, all the little details I didn’t know to even question became things I could find easily. Like, do they say W Something St or Something St W? Is it Avenue Blah or Blah Avenue? Do they even use terminology like avenue or streets? Do they commonly have alleyways everywhere or anywhere and if so how big are they? What are the roads made of? What is the lighting like? Are there basements? 

I grew up in Midwest USA on the tail end of tornado alley where a basement is an absolute must. Imagine my absolute confusion when I learned there are houses out there where they DON’T go underground. Like, at all. wtf??? From my, at that time obviously limited, experience, the only people I personally knew who didn’t have some sort of underground space were apartment dwellers or my friend who lived in the mobile home park. It was such a staple understanding in my life to assume everyone had a basement in their home that I had no idea to even question the existence of such a thing when trying to write another location within the US, let alone anywhere else in the world. And at a certain point when we were writing it, I didn’t even know to ask certain questions, or if I did I didn’t have an easy way of finding it.

If you were to read the very, very original version of Evenfall and compare it to what’s most recently released, for example, there are many differences. One example of something you might notice is the streets are totally different in Monterrey. That’s because we had to make up streets the first time around because I could not find any maps for the city. I tried but they just weren’t accessible for whatever reason; not in the detail I needed and where I could find them, or probably afford. We had to just be like “Welp, guess the war changed it all, sry!” to explain the random names and structure. But as the years passed, information spread to a minute level across the world slowly but surely. First, Google eventually had the layout of the city streets, then it had satellite imagery, then it had Google streetview, then it had people randomly uploading photos to locations, and so on. Eventually, there was enough information from big to small to feel relatively sure we could at least somewhat accurately represent the geography - not perfectly, absolutely not because we’d never been there - but an approximation that hopefully wouldn’t be too jarring for someone actually able to visit, themselves.

You may wonder why the hell I’m talking about streets in Mexico when your comment was on Hsin’s and Emilio’s characterizations, but I mention it because I look at a lot of things in writing with that same level of paranoia of wanting all the details possible to write it to try to be as accurate to at least someone’s reality as possible. That’s one reason why I haven’t written Domino, for example, which focuses on Vivienne’s life; it probably seems like it should be easy to do, and in ways it is. But I don’t feel nearly educated enough on how it would be to grow up in France in a rural then urban area with the sort of pressures she had as a young woman and with her different levels of wealth and the way she looked and etc etc to be fair to anyone who may find representation within that and to not accidentally jar them totally out of the experience by the equivalent of randomly throwing a basement in the middle of Texas because who the fuck knew Texans don’t automatically have basements in all their homes?? 

Really, with anything, there is always room for improvement - especially with anything as complex as any aspect of any demographic which inherently then serves as some form of representation for a huge variety of human beings. Humans, being complex beings themselves, will thus have an even larger variety in the way any topic can be seen. What is severely off-putting to one person might be acceptable to another. Sometimes society steps in and is like nah bro, idgaf if you’re cool with that, I’m not. And sometimes it remains so complex that it’s hard to give one exact answer.

What we tried to do was listen to feedback as we wrote and take it into account in the writing of the series itself. Also, especially later in the series, whenever possible we tried to do research as much as possible on whatever detail or topic we had going on to try to be as accurate as possible.

I’m truly not trying to skirt any sort of issue, I just don’t think I can properly say a singular reply to your concern without being unfair to different voices I’ve heard on this topic over the years. If I had never heard directly or indirectly from people that they specifically appreciate the representation of the characters, if in fact I had only ever heard concerns about them, it would be easier to say we were wrong. But I’m not part of any of the demographics so I can’t speak on behalf of any of them. Thus, I can only listen to what different people tell me, and know that regardless of what I’m told, for them that is truth and thus I respect it.

What I will say is it certainly was not the intention to upset, insult, alienate, or otherwise cause concern for anyone reading the series for anything other than the actual things intended to be fucked up like the things the characters went through and so on. I’m very sorry that the characterization is so upsetting and concerning for you. That really sucks; it takes away from the point of the story and puts you in a place that is deeply uncomfortable. I’m very sorry we put you in that position.

++

RELATIONSHIPS

Actually, I’d love to hear more what you mean by your comment. I have certain inferences I make based on what I think you mean but I don’t want to misinterpret and misrepresent your concerns.

The way I interpret “how the mlm relationships were so clearly hetero? the sex scenes were so straight to me tbh.” is maybe related to the idea of dominance vs submission? Like making an equivalence of that to masculine = dominant = power/strength = top = Hsin, and feminine = submissive = weakness = bottom = Boyd? Is that what you’re suggesting or did you mean something else? I have a lot of thoughts on this subject but, again, I don’t want to ramble on a tangent if I am totally misunderstanding what you meant. Especially since I rambled so much above.

So if you’d like to explore the topic more and would like thoughts/answers/etc just let me know in another anon ask more specifically what you mean, if you can. Thank you :)

I’ll go onto ask 2 for now - I forgot exactly what came up in that ask vs the 3rd ask so I’m not sure how long it will take me to type up a reply. Just in case I don’t finish it today, I wanted to sign this off in the meantime with I hope you’re staying healthy and safe!

[thatesqcrush]

Long Way Home, Ch. 7

AN: Welp, there was a delay. Work life has been intense and home life has been just as busy lots of sick going around. Add writer’s block and it’s never a good combination. But here! We! Are!

Rafael x Reader. SVU x Good Wife AU. References: GoodWife S.3, E.21 & S.5, E.12

ETA: tag list - @madpanda75 @melissagarner @sass-and-suspenders @dreila03 @bowieisawizard @garturbo @themanwithsass @obsessionprofessional @dreila03 - anyone else just ask; sorry if I forgot anyone.

***

Judge Cuesta was eventually found holed up in a secret chateau off 57th and Central Park West. He maintained his innocence of Bullock’s murder, asserting that he wouldn’t hurt his friend to maintain his reputation. “I had to hide; someone is out for revenge!” he barked angrily at Rafael, now back down at One Hogan Place.

“Your attitude, your honor, it will do more to condemn you than the evidence. You’re on this side of the bench now,” Barba snapped.

Your brows rose but you remained silent, rapping your fingers on a half empty can of ginger ale. You willed your nausea to abate. It did, and you cleared your throat before speaking. “We have solid alibi for Mr. Rooney. Despite your need to secure the conviction, he surprisingly holds no ill will to either one of you. You should be so humble,” you replied sternly.

Cuesta slumped forward, defeated. “I know. We shouldn’t have done it. We were greedy and righteous. I let that cloud my judgment. What now?”

“That’s for the court of inquiry to determine. You will likely be removed from the bench altogether,” Rafael replied.

Your phone buzzed and you reached into your pocket. “Y/L/N here,” you answered holding up a finger to excuse yourself. Rafael nodded and you took the call outside Rafael’s office. You half smiled at Carmen who returned the smile before continuing her typing.

After briefly talking with Liv, you returned to Rafael’s office. You motioned to Rafael and he came over. You whispered what Liv told you and his green eyes darkened. He nodded and turned to face Cuesta, clearing his throat. “We’ve got Bullock’s killer in custody.”

****

A partial print on the pen lead to the Rooney’s son, Patrick Jr. who was so angry about his father’s wrongful conviction, that he was hell bent on revenge. Patrick Sr. was devastated and any forgiveness he may have had at Cuesta and the newly deceased Bullock, was long gone.

“My wife is gone, and now, the only family I had left, is now behind bars. I may be a free man to others, but I forever live imprisoned thanks to selfish pigs like Judge Cuesta and Judge Bullock,” Patrick Sr. sobbed on the news.

Carisi reached for the remote and turned off the television. “Well, he ain’t wrong,” he sighed. He ran his hands through his hair and looked over at you. You were signing off on paperwork effectively closing out the case on Bullock’s murder. “Whatcha got going on this weekend?”

“Laying low,” you replied knowing full well you had a visit with an ob/gyn. “You?”

“It’s my anniversary with my girlfriend. Pulling out all the stops - home cooked dinner - making my ma’s lasagna from scratch, taking her for drinks and jazz,” Carisi replied excitedly.

“That sounds so lovely. I hope you guys have the best time,” you replied smiling. “How long have you two been together?”

“Two years; she’s really great. I am so lucky. This line of work... it can be hard to find someone,” Carisi stated. “I am sure you understand, with lawyers and long hours.”

“I do,” you acknowledged. “Keep that in mind yourself Fordham law,” you subsequently teased. “Happy anniversary,” you added after a beat. You furrowed your brows. Carisi noticed the crestfallen look on your face that quickly appeared and disappeared just as quickly.

“Hey, you okay? I’m sorry if that brought up any memories,” he began to apologize.

“No, no,” you reassured him. “Just a lot on my mind.”

“Want to talk about it?” Carisi asked. You noted the concern in his voice. You shook your head, grabbing your bag. “It’s fine; we can talk about it later.”

Carisi opened his mouth to protest but you held up your hand. “I’ll be fine. Go - go enjoy your anniversary before another crime happens and you have to get called back in.” You waved Carisi off. Carisi nodded, and squeezed your shoulder. “Y/N, you can always count on me for a shoulder.”

You smiled. “Thanks Sonny. I appreciate that.” With a final wave, Carisi left.

You gave the paperwork in front of you a final look through. Satisfied, you dropped off the paperwork on Liv’s desk before heading out of the precinct and to your apartment.

As you walked down the street, your phone buzzed. Looking at your phone, you frowned. You recognized the 312 number.

It was Lockhart Gardner. You debated answering or letting it go to voicemail. After two more rings, you answered it, curiosity getting the better of you.

“Hello?” You questioned.

“Y/F/N? It’s Diane,” the voice on the other side answered.

“Diane! It’s nice to hear from you. How... how did you get my number?”

You could almost see Diane’s smile, even an hour away. “Kalinda.”

“Of course Kalinda,” you sighed. Lockhart Gardner’s own in-house investigator and a dear friend of Will’s, had her own ways - sometimes not so legal ways - of tracking people down. “Whats going on Diane? Is everything okay?”

The blonde name partner explained that Will had some remaining equity in the firm that they needed to absolve and as his next of kin, you were the one they needed to buy-out.

“Can’t you just email me the paperwork and I will Fed-ex overnight?” You asked wearily as you approached your apartment.

“No, unfortunately it needs to be done in person,” Diane explained. “With all the remaining partners present.”

You groaned. “Okay, I will see what flights are available. I’ll be there tomorrow afternoon.”

“Don’t worry about the flight dear. I’ll take care of it,” Diane replied.

Just as you were about to thank her, a thought occurred to you. “Diane, is Will’s name coming off the door?”

Diane sighed. “There was some talk about it. Particularly from David. But we voted to leave Will’s name. He and I did start the firm after all.”

You thanked Diane before ending the call. Finally, you reached your apartment. Your phone buzzed again. You groaned. ‘What now could Diane want?’ you wondered.

[Rafael, 6:47 PM]: You free?

You debated your response. You watched three dots appear on your phone. They stopped and then appeared again.

[Rafael, 6:48 PM]: If so, want to grab dinner?

[Y/N, 6:49 PM]: I am wiped. Not feeling too hot. Rain check?

[Rafael, 6:51 PM]: Of course.

You felt bad but you really were exhausted. You also very anxious about your appointment. You decided to play your cards to your chest. Once you had your appointment, you could make whatever moves needed to be made. Further, you now how to get ready for a day trip to Chicago.

You plopped on the couch and turned on the television. Before you could help it, you dozed off.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW34

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week + Walsh on Wildcard.

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

Wildcard madness. Will go full team below.

GK:

Ederson (cry)

Ederson & Foster. Pretty simple combo here. Will start Eddy this GW and look to Foster as a great BB backup GK option for their double in 35. City have kinda weird fixtures from here to the end of the season but I still expect them to pick up some cleans so will be happy to have Ederson I think for the rest of the year.

DEF:

Welp since Kane died and everything got turned upside down I went from never looking at anything but five at the back to starting three defenders. Robbo, Trent, and Duffy are my starters this GW with Kola and VVD on the bench.  Despite spending a long time with Mo in my tinkers after Kane died I decided to back my gut which tells me Mo is not worth his price... Kola is just a whatever pick who I will BB in for 35 with one home fixture and has a good start in GW37. He'll be on the bench for all of their away fixtures as things currently stand. Can only hope that he plays both games in the double but am not too convinced about that.

Robertson & Alexander-Arnold (CHE)

I still think Livp are the best defense in the league and trebling for the rest of the season I can only hope will lead to big points. I'm going to bench the CB this week since I feel like the fullbacks have a better chance at an assist than he does for a goal.

Duffy (BOU & CAR)

Finally, Duffy is just a fairly straightforward pick. Alon kept it simple and told me on the pod he'd probably be in. I obviously am not going heavy into Brighton since they are shit ass but having their most attacking defender feels fine for a start this week, a BB option for 35, and then a cheap bench guy for the last few games.

MID:

The guy who I'm benching in mid is Doucoure. One of my favorite guys who should be a great BB option for the double in 35 and someone who I might start a couple times before the season is done. As for starters this week:

Eriksen & Son (HUD)

I'm doubling on Spud mids with Eriksen and Son. The team sheet against Huddy this weekend has been highly speculated about given the two City games incoming, and frankly, I have no idea how Poch will pick it. In the end, I am not where I want to be in terms of OR and I'm punting on Spurs being able to - even without Kane - putting some goals in against the shit opposition that they face through to the end of the season.

Sterling (cry)

I've decided to stand by Raz in the end, and despite great concern over whether or not he will start this weekend I just think they are the best attack in the division and I want to have him in. It's an upside play and hopefully it comes off.

Redmond (WOL)

I'm starting Redderz this weekend home to Wolves with not very high expectations. Wolves are a huge rogue wild card for the rest of the term to me as they could either fight hard for Europa or head to the beach. Either way, I think it's a pretty reasonable fixture for Redmond.

FWD:

Agüero (cry)

Kun is in. Not someone I played around with really too much and someone who I think should get a decent point return from now until the end of the season.

Deeney (ARS)

Deeney is another guy who I haven't really played around with. I think home Arsenal is a great attacking fixture and they will have their tails up for the rest of the season, I expect, leading up to the FA Cup final.

Llorente (HUD)

Last guy and really trickiest guy is Fernando Llorenthe. Welcome in the side you Spanish donk. I don't really rate him, but when I look at what fixtures Spurs have as well as how I expect Poch to pick the teams, Llorente seems phenomenal to me for these shitty fixtures while he will play pacy Son/Lukash up top type things against City. At 5.1 he feels a very good gamble.

CAP:

Llorente (HUD)

As you know, dear reader, City players are off limits as they roll up to Selhurst for my captaincy. Perhaps I am putting good money after bad with my failed Callum cap punt last week, but I am on Llorente. Hear me out. I am very concerned whether or not Son will start since I think he is much more important for them up against City. For this reason I'm off him for cap. Eriksen feels a likely starter but I don't know what he's going to be up to in any given week - it's like capping Hazard to me. Without Kane, and likely without Alli, I'm not sure how he'll go. This leads me to Llorente. He is a diabolical player to start against City since he's slow as fuck and can't counter. With two City games book-ending the Huddy game I'm backing my own intuition on this one and hoping that Poch will see it the same way. I think that literally every other attacker on the team will be more likely to sub off than Llorente as I think he is a complete non-option to start midweek...so the 90 is appealing. Even a shit donk like Llorente should be able to do things against one of the worst teams in the division we have ever seen as far as I'm concerned. Tip of the spear, tip of my penis, let's see it Fernando.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Brooks, Luiz

IN (for -4 points hit): Son, Vertonghen

TLDR: Huddersfield are shit.

So I haven’t been around all week just been working my ass off and now we’re here and I was just sorta yolo let’s take a hit and get good guys in... Sorry to everyone on Slack/Twitter that I didn’t have time to get to... Anyway Sonny boy in with Kane dead feels sorta self-explanatory... When Kane is away Sonny boy will play. Takes up the role as their main goalscorer, main outlet, main shot-taker, etc.. Good guy. And Vert has the nailedness, the banker this week, the double, and then several more bankers to end the season. Seems good.

GK:

Heaton (CAR)

Not feeling great about a clean in this one as Cardiff need all the points in the world so they should be properly gung-ho.. Hopefully save points from Tom here.

DEF:

Vertonghen (HUD)

Yeah easy.

Alexander-Arnold & Matip (CHE)

Should be a tight matchup and a clean is realistic imo. But it’ll be fucking tough.

MID:

Salah (CHE)

We all heard Chelsea fans’ new favorite song about their former player Mo, the racist scumbags that they are... Need Mo to fuck these posh cunt rentboy fucks for the good of the universe.

Sterling (cry)

Raz is great and Palace’s defense is now garbage.

Son (HUD)

Sonny in. Hatty incoming.

Ward-Prowse (WOL)

It would be really cool if JWP went another run of goals in three matches in a row or something like that right now. Did it in GWs 22-24, and in 28-30, so I duno 34-36 seems good to me. Go on Hames.

FWD:

Aguero (cry)

Kun’s good... Not feeling confident he starts but he might do and then he might score lots of points. We shall see.

Rondón (lei)

Couple blanks in a row but Sal is still a friend, forever a friend, with actually very good attacking fixtures from now through the end of the season except for GW37. Maybe he’ll tit me.

Barnes (CAR)

Barnesy in a great fixture but who knows with this lunatic? Shake the magic 8-ball and you either get a red card, an own goal, a brace, a pen, conceding a pen, donkey performance, brexit merchant, or any of the above in combinations. Who knows. Hopefully it’s points for me.

BENCH:

McNeil (CAR)

CAP:

Son (HUD)

Going with who I consider my highest upside guy in Son. Really could be a hatty and I think with 3.5 full days off before City in UCL they should be fine legs wise to go out and just dumpster on the shittiest team in the division. Shrug.

[crazydademails]

Loose Lips Sink Ships

Sonny..............sounding board as always..Lesson from my mom #1....Loose lips sink ships....looth legs and poosay too.....loothy goothy....What it means is shutta de mouth and gums.....Gums flapping when the officer arrives or others.......Or just spouting and talking big time like a hero which u are at the barstool belly up....Yeah I was a big fella and big timer and known in my day and era for the most times poundin my pud and strokin it.......This is called giving away the company secrets like the Cocola formula which is under lock and key...........I didnt do it like rag who wanted to be loved and liked by all...........Yes at one time I wanted it but I learned it is better to be under the covers awith the eyes shut........I did not need others to know what I had done since they would not believe nor remember nor care anyhow. TRUTH.....no one listens but they DO listen for the bad and negative..........as I am sure those per fessers at UNDER THE "ARM" Pitt do with you since you are a boy with a sweet face of a child and none o them alcohol lines.......as I once had I guess...U are runnin with a crowd I do not trust........It is true..........those girls are bar flys.........I do not know what drugs they are into these days but in my time it was any thing under the son and whatever worked which it all does....You have a clean slate and rap sheet as far as I know and u are leaving urself EXPOSED....For example my green alabaster carved owl that Dale gave me 40 yrs ago previous...Do u have it or is that what that fing thief stole from u or I and mine...??? Let me know......I would eviscerate him if that is what he and I were arguing about....gut his fat gut end to end....I dream of killing and strangling anymore..Welp...Thievery and working the angles.....Life sorry.......I would rather they think I am some dead old man than packing the heat which I am.......Or that I know anything and nothing which who knows if I do or if I went to the school of donkeys and graduated a jack ass.............A piece from Google that showed a list of your contacts...cousins and poonn tang....Is it???A most recent picture of you it looked like on Raggi way looking across the creek...I told you Google is the last place I would post any of my info....mugtub was also on there as were some others you apparently communicate with unbeknown to eye...Do you know why I received that.....If i can destroy you think how fast others can??? Keep ur mouth shutto......Another thing I know is that my brother has had sleep apnea since a young fellow....Snoring (sleep apnea)is a perfect sign of atrial fibrilliation....his turdboys would never want to sleep with or did because of his snoring....Could run one out of the house and whorify....Let me know his response to what you have told him as I worry each day about his ticker health.....I hate to say I was not wrong about any of what U saw on your short stay as it relates to my shit head family...There is not one thing that U or I could do to help the dickheads...The mold and dies have been set and my old man is responsible for them...The "THEM" includes the inlaws and outlaws....The reality is no triple ass relative of mine has or had a clue how to be a parent and would never listen to what would be....Look at ragmothers famil kids too...The same way...UR mother and her sister do not have a clue or a guess either...I hope that U have learned how not to raise children...One needs to be a parent not try to be their friend and to be strong, caring, yet firm......And teach them to keep a LOOOOOW profile and shut the fug up ad say nothing to no one nor let them see and know how you live or anything of ur private life including ur privates....Chucke!!!.Lose no sleep over same....they are aminals at best since they are not in ur own mind and you watch their reactions and react nothing more........Remember sometimes reality is hard to digest and swallow....Just like that situation on Raggi Way...The reality that ur mother would not understand if it bit her on the ass....she is married to a beer swilling ALLKIE loser who does the one armed curls which is the only thing he has ever done in his whole life.........a case of beer that lite shit.....30 beers.........it is horrific and I wonder what mind he has or does he have a mind at all.....i drank to blank out and rest but to swill all day long in that slow limpo wrist way......that is practically a queer thing I imagine and weird.......She (rag) has no right to say anything about any one in her critical way that I do not and canute understand....humanzees are both narcissistic and narcissists to the nth degree and we cannot comprehend it in our brains the way it is meant to be..........steer clear of them and stay in the apt as much as U can.........they are only listening for the negative and to get a stab in as is donee when u kill a king or leader......then some how nobody was the friend of that dead fug he is just dead meat..........they only luv u as long as u have some thing for them.....to know this I hate............It would be better to drink like diaper doper shitpants and his 30 beers a diem imagine that shit trickle and dayaryea you get......under no circumstance ever attend the funeral of a relative.........we all deserve to be in sacks and paper bags or flushed......Sorry......keep enjoying that sun shine and hope U have a safe trip home...U will be glad to get back to your abode and UR pillow...Eat some "BEANS".....LUVYA!!!!