#wellp i started sobbing so i guess the therapuetic bit was right

[downspiral-dreamer]

"[I] trusted [you]." - SEND ME A NUMBER AND I’LL WRITE A MICRO STORY USING THE WORD OR PHRASE { Knowing the bullshit you've been through I figured this could be therapeutic. }

this is the meme, feel free to send more in, but like hell this is gonna be a micro story, i got carried aWAY

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       “I trusted you.”

      The words left Ronan’s lips, deadened, emotionless; the calm before the storm. He could feel pain and rage and despair roiling inside of him, twisting and coiling around his heart and squeezing tight. But those first words, they were cold. As cold as Ronan wished he could be. As hard as he wished he could be so that the tears stinging the back of his eyes would stop.

      A long silence fell over the basement room, dark and heavy like a clouded night. Daniel didn’t speak, scratching at the back of his neck, refusing to make eye contact. The signs of a boy trying to find a lie that would fit just right in his mouth, to feed to his opponent, to attempt to sweeten a situation gone sour long ago.

      Finally, he spoke. “It’s not like that. You’re getting mad about stuff that isn’t true.  I told you, it’s not that I like Trenton more, it’s--”

      A wave pushed up through Ronan’s throats and he felt as though he might vomit, but instead a shout tore free. “Shut up! Just shut the fuck up, Daniel. Can you just tell me the goddamn truth for once? Is it really that hard?” Ah. There came those stupid tears.

      Daniel turned away to continue pushing belongings into his duffel bag. “I am telling the truth, you’re just overreacting. I’m not ready for a relationship right now, that’s all.”

      “I’m gonna say something here, because unlike you, I can be honest.” Ronan gritted his teeth, trying his damnedest to remain steady. Just for a few minutes longer. Just to make sure that his fiance - ex fiance - knew what was what. “I looked through your messages. Okay? I looked through them all, the ones you had with Trenton. You know, the ones where you talked about how much of a burden I was, about how much you hated that I couldn’t keep a job. I saw all the shit you called him, special ‘nicknames’ you said you reserve for special people. So can you maybe, just MAYBE, stop lying for five seconds and just admit it?”

      More silence. Ronan stood motionless by the bed, watching as the man he had fallen in love with continued to pack, saying that he would be going to stay with a friend until he had had a chance to ‘recuperate’ from the ‘pain’ of having to break up for his ‘own mental health. The friend was unnamed, but it didn’t take much for Ronan to know he was going to Trent’s house. Not in the slightest. That’s where he had spent most of his time the last few weeks anyway.

      Daniel continued to stay silent, having finished packing up his more essential belongings, and moving to take his vest off the hook in the wall. Ronan remembered how he had helped Daniel find that vest, how he had walked two miles in pouring rain and thunderous skies to get superglue so that Daniel could put the patches he was so excited for onto the vest.

       “Be honest for two seconds before we never fucking talk again.” Ronan wasn’t sure why, but he needed to hear it. He needed to have it said to his face. Not just in messages behind his back.

      Daniel made a sound between a huff and a grunt, a noise of annoyance.

     “Just admit it. You never loved me. Or if you did, you only loved me until I stopped being useful to you. The moment I got too sick to work, to bring in money, the moment I became too tired to fuck your ‘play partner’ for you to watch, then whatever you thought was love went away. Is that it?” Ronan stepped sideways, blocking Daniel’s route to the door.

      “Stop acting like a child. This is why we’re not together anymore.” Daniel attempted to move past. “Knock it off.”

      “No, don’t even try that shit.” Ronan didn’t move. “I’m not acting like a child. I’m asking for one honest fucking answer from the man I was gonna marry. You know, the man who had engagement rings picked out? What are you gonna do with those? Throw them away? Send them back so you can get your precious money back?”

      Daniel shoved past him, and despite how much he wanted to chase after the other, sobbing and cursing and yanking on the back of his shirt to drag him back, Ronan didn’t move, only watched as Daniel made his way to the stairwell that would take him to the front door.

      “I fucking trusted you when you promised you would love me no matter what.” Ronan spoke the words only loud enough to be heard from the boy ascending the stairs. “You made me believe love existed and just like everybody else, proved that I only mattered for as long as I was useful to you. Don’t forget that.”

     He could hear the door slam upstairs. Knew that he would not see Daniel again. Knew that Daniel couldn’t hear him. But he finished the sentence off anyway.

      “I hope you remember that. I hope what you did fucking haunts you when you try to sleep at night.”