#well. she tells balloon its ���for the benefit of both”

[phonification]

ive been thinking about taco and balloon forming a little alliance post s1/ pre s2 where they'd (begrudgingly) work together planning on how to break into hotel OJ to steal stuff to take back to their makeshift camp like food, blankets, pillows, etc,,, anything that could be useful to them

[the-void-i-scream-into]

White Tulips - a JunJin fanfic 2/3

Full Story: Part 1, Part 3

Hello Everyone! I hope you are all happy and healthy. Part 2 of my Junjin fanfic is finally up. Thank you so much to the beautiful and wonderful people who liked my fanfic. I am so sorry I have not been responding to your lovely comments. I had exams so I was really busy but I will get to them now. It took me a long time to post this next part because I wanted to finish both Part 2 and 3. I’ll be posting the other part too once I’ve proofread everything

As always, this chapter is dedicated to the Shooters GC (which I haven’t checked in so long, I’m so sorry)  🙈 🙈

Please do be warned, this does get a little dark. But it will pay off in Part 3, I promise.

Pairing: Kang Sujin x Han Seojun

Romantic Trope: Haters to friends to lovers

Word Count: 13.5k

Rating: T

TRIGGER WARNING: Some of the themes in this story are a little dark, specifically in section iii. Please be warned. I’ve added a summary for section iii in section iv so you can skip it if needed.

PART 2

i.

They both spoke at the same time.

“Ya Kang Sujin…”

“Ya Han Seojun…”

“What the hell happened?”

Seojun had been in a strange state of mind all day. First it was waking up in the enemy’s bed, but that part he had completely blocked out. Then it was the massive hangover, the effects of which he was still reeling from. On top of that he had received a scolding for being late to practice, which caused him to be late to his commercial shoot, which caused him to be late for his recording session which was when he had been informed about his scandal.

Seojun normally didn’t care for rumors that spread about him. He relied on his performance to speak for itself; the people online with their uninformed opinions didn’t matter.

“But why did it have to be her?!” He had groaned when he first read the articles. But then he asked himself seriously, “Why did it have to be her?”

It all seemed too convenient. Additionally, she had been the one to drag him for drinks and then back to her apartment.

Was this another one of her schemes? What would she gain from doing this? Maybe it was because he was on to her and could see the truth about her and now she wanted him gone. Yes, it must have been that. Or was it not? Was his theory too farfetched? Maybe he was being too harsh. Maybe he was misunderstanding the situation.

Seojun felt conflicted. On the one hand, it would have been so easy to just blame Sujin and keep on hating her like he wanted to. On the other hand, he could hear Suho in his head, warning him about being too judgmental. Seojun normally trusted his instincts with everything but this time his own instincts were confused. Should be giving Sujin the benefit of the doubt? 

Seojun knew that if he needed answers, he would need to go to the source.

“What the hell happened?” They both asked each other at the same time but neither had the answer.

“How the hell would I know? It was your apartment.”

“The pictures were obviously taken by someone was obsessed with you.” Sujin fumed.

“Are you saying this is my fault?”

“Then are you saying it’s mine?”

“I’m not the one who took us out drinking then brought me back home to her apartment!”

“I’m not the one with the crazy saesangs!”

“My fans are not crazy! They are way better than arrogant women with a princess complex like you!”

“Don’t call me princess.” Sujin said dangerously.

“Or what? You’ll get me drunk and back at your apartment again?”

“Ah shut up, you man-child!” Sujin hung up and Seojun flung his phone across the room where it bounced onto the couch. He was seething.

“Aish!” Seojun kicked the air.

“Did you talk to Sujin?” Heekyung’s calm voice startled Seojun.

“What? Oh, Noona.” Seojun gulped.

“How was she? Was she okay?”

“Umm…” Seojun blinked

“She must have been shaken. Facing something like this can be very upsetting.”

Seojun’s shoulders deflated. “Uh, yeah…” He hadn’t considered that.

“Did she agree to give a statement to help clear up this mess?”

Oh right, I was supposed to ask her…

Heekyung continued, “I do have good news. We’ve found the person who took the photographs. So he won’t be sharing them with anyone else.”

“You have?”

“Yes. It was unfortunate. A photographer happened to be there, just as you were leaving. He actually recognized you from your voice. Talk about having bad luck.”

Seojun frowned. So, it wasn’t Sujin.

“So will Sujin do it? We just need a simple statement. She can release a post on her socials and we’ll take care of the media articles.”

Seojun rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Um, I don’t think she’ll agree.” . Especially not after the blaming match that just happened. “Can’t we just clarify things on our end? Not get her involved?”

Heekyung smiled with a twinkle in her eye, “Oh I get it. You don’t want her to feel burdened.”

Seojun could tell what she was implying. “Ah-nee! Its not that at all!” His voice was pitched a little too high.

Heekyung laughed, “I’ve been at this for longer than you, Seojun-ah. You can be straight with me.”

“It’s not like that! I don’t care about Kang Sujin at all!”

But Heekyung wasn’t listening. “Just be careful. Your career has just started. You can’t afford scandals like these. People will turn against you in an instant, you know?”

Seojun swallowed. He knew all too well how people could turn against him in an instant, like the way thy did with Seyeon. But he wanted to believe that he would be able to face them.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be careful.”

Heekyung nodded. “Good. Now I’ll go tell our PR team to release a statement about you and Sujin being just friends.” Seojun nodded gratefully. “I think the fact that you went to school together will help. Hopefully people will buy it when you tell them nothing happened between you two.” Heekyung winked as she walked away.

“It’s not like that!” Seojun called after her.

ii.

The situation subsided as quickly as it had risen. Move Entertainment published their official statement about how it was all a misunderstanding. That Seojun had only been visiting his friend from high school and the fact that the friend was also a mutual with rising online beauty guru Lim Jukyung helped establish the connection. Seojun had been glad that Jukyung had taken those selfies with Sujin with Seojun in the background otherwise people might have just taken the statement as an excuse.

What annoyed Seojun about the whole situation was not his reputation or the online speculation but how everyone else kept teasing him about it. This was made especially worse when they were all gathered around for drinks, including his own squad, Chorong and Co., who were eyeing Sujin with a mixture of adoration—that made them stare at her, and fear—that kept them from talking to her.

“Ooh, Han Seojun you better not drink too much or you’ll end up in Sujin’s apartment again.” Taehoon teased. Seojun gave him the death glare while Sujin made a disgusted face. Everyone else laughed.

“Guys! Don’t be mean.” Jukyung’s voice went unheard among the collective chatter.

“Han Seojun, I can see you’ve been keeping a very close eye on Kang Sujin.” Chorong whispered in his ear. Seojun elbowed his ribs.

“Pay up, Sujin didn’t kill him.” Suho asked from Suah.

“You guys had a bet?” Sujin asked icily. Seojun almost admired the scathing look Sujin gave Suho as she eyed the money being exchanged.

Suho’s and Suah’s hands froze right when they were exchanging the bills.

“No?” Suho said weakly.

“Kang Su, I bet on you okay?” Suah defended.

“Ah is that so? Well then you’re off the hook.”

Suah relaxed while Suho blinked forty times, sweating. “Kang Sujin. It was just a joke okay?”

Sujin just put her hand forward and Suho silently put the money in her hands.

“Wah, just 5 dollars? I’m worth 5 million you know.”

“Sure you are. And I’m the King of England.” Seojun said under his breath. Kang Sujin and her princess complex.

“What was that?” Sujin put her hand to her ear, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you over the apology you owe me.”

“What apology? I owe you nothing.” Seojun retorted, fully aware that he had actually come to this gathering to apologize to Sujin about the scandal and how he had behaved over the phone. That plan had since been abandoned. 

For some reason, he could not spit out the three words ‘I am sorry’ to Kang Sujin. No matter how much he wanted to. There was just something about her that irritated him to the point of misbehavior.

Sujin clicked her tongue at Seojun but said nothing. Instead, reaching into her bag, she pulled out a notebook and a pen.

“Here, sign this.” She ordered, pushing the notebook and pen in his face.

“What is it?”

For Kang Sujin, the biggest issue from the scandal had not been the online noteriety and not even the teasing, but the fact that everyone in her office now knew that she was friends with an idol and had demanded that she get them his autographs.

“Its for my friends at work.”

“You have friends?” Seojun said with mock surprise.

“You know I was just as shocked to learn that you have actual fans. I always thought Suho was the one buying all your albums.” Sujin said.

“Of course I have fans! I am super popular you know!” Seojun defended, pulling the lapels of his jacket with pride.

“Yes I’m sure you’re veeeery popular.” Sujin’s words dripped with sarcasm. Seojun’s pride deflated like a balloon. “Just sign. And write something nice too.” She ordered. Seojun quietly picked up the notebook, not because he was nice but because he felt he owed her this much.

“You know my autographs are worth a lot of money, right?”

Sujin made a face. “Just sign the damn thing so that the girls at work stop harassing me about you.”

Seojun smiled as he signed. His fans were awesome. “How many?” He asked.

“Seven.”

He signed seven pages, each with a personalized note.

“Be nice to my fans at work.”

“I’m always nice.”

“Sure you are.” Seojun replied skeptically. He handed Sujin the notebook. “I better not find you selling these online.” He warned.

“I’d rather starve than live off of your autographs.” Sujin bit back.

“Okay, okay! No more fighting!” Jukyung pointed between the two. “Lets all enjoy our drinks in peace.” She looked pointedly at Sujin who pointed her chin at Seojun with a ‘he-started-it’ scowl.

“Han Seo, is it okay for you to meet us in public like this?” Suah asked. They weren’t in the usual private dining area that they frequented when it was just the core group of friends. They were out where everyone could see.

“We can always hang out at our place, if you want.” Suho offered. Seojun quickly shook his head. Seeing Suho and Jukyung together outside was one thing. Seeing how they lived together was quite another. Knowing they lived together was painful enough. He didn’t want even more fuel for his imagination.

“Its no trouble at all.” He put on a smile for Suho who seemed satisfied. But, to his surprise, he found Kang Sujin giving him a strange look. She chuckled to herself but said nothing.

As they all said their goodbyes, Seojun went out the back so that he could leave in privacy. He planned on taking the long route today. A bike ride would help him clear his mind.

“Han Seojun, wait up!”

He stopped just as he was about to put his helmet on. He was surprised to find Sujin there. 

“What? Need more autographs?” He asked, cockily smiling.

Sujin made a sickened expression. “Not at all. I just… I had something to say.” She hesitated.

“Well say it.”

She cleared her throat. “It was neither of our faults. The scandal. It wasn’t that it was my building or your fans. It was someone shitty who didn’t respect our privacy. That’s… that’s all I wanted to say.”

Sujin waited for his response. Seojun could feel his face burning. He should have been the one to say all this to her, and yet here she was apologizing to him instead.

“I’msorryforwhathappened.” He said too quickly and too quietly.

“What?”

“Nothing!” Seojun shoved his helmet on to hide his embarrassed face. 

“Drive safe.” Sujin said.

“Yeah, whatever.” He rode away.

Kang Sujin was just glad she was able to spit out the words she had been meaning to say all night long. It had been weighing on her ever since they had spoken on the phone. She had promised herself a long time ago that she would try to be a nicer person and for the most part she had accomplished that. But that Han Seojun just had a way of bringing her old self back to the surface. And that bothered her.

It doesn’t matter, she told herself. She would learn how to get along with Han Seojun. It was only a matter of practice. And besides, it wasn’t as if she had to be overtly obvious about it. She just had to tolerate him.

For Jukyung. It’s for Jukyung. She would want us to get along, she lied to herself. The truth was, that Kang Sujin believed that she didn’t have a choice.

Everyone loved Han Seojun, even her best friends who had never paid much attention to him back in high school. It was all because Sujin had been absent for so long. She had missed a huge part of everyone’s lives while Han Seojun had been there for all of it.

Sujin wondered whether, if it came to choosing between her and Seojun, they would choose her. A part of her believed they wouldn’t.

She had made such a mess of things before and left things unresolved for too long. She was certain that things would never go back to the way they had been, not fully anyway. There would always be a part of them that wouldn’t trust her. And there would always be a part of her that would be heavy with guilt.   

“Ah-nee-ya.” She reassured herself. “I don’t need to worry about this.”

She was glad that the whole matter of being mistaken as Han Seojun’s girlfriend had been settled. She laughed at the very idea.

“Me and Han Seojun dating. Ah, how funny.”

Sujin had heard of horror stories about how such scandals ruined people’s lives and got them shunned by society. Thank fully, none of that had happened. Her precious peace was safe again.

Sujin could see her future now; a life where she worked hard at her non-profit, where she shared dinners and lunches with her friends and laughed about the old days, where she wasn’t told she wasn’t good enough, where she did what she wanted instead of being forced to do what her father wanted. Yes, Kang Sujin could see her like ahead—a life where she was finally happy.

iii.

At first Sujin thought she was being paranoid. But her co-workers seemed to be acting stand-offish with her, with some outright avoiding her. They weren’t replying to her as enthusiastically they used to and were having hushed conversations that immediately stopped when she approached them. They even made plans for lunch without including her.

“Is something wrong?” Sujin asked one of them.

“Not at all. Shall we get to work?” It sounded more like a snub than reassurance.

Sujin also felt the hairs on her neck rise from time to time, as if she could feel someone watching her. But when she turned around, everyone would look away.

Convincing herself that it was all in her head, Sujin ignored it and went on with her work.

But then it happened again at the convenience store. She heard her name being said in whispers behind her. When she turned, she found a couple of teenagers quickly putting away their phone. Despite the anxiety bubbling in her stomach, Sujin dismissed the incident and went home.

Normally after a long day at work, Sujin would throw her phone away, have dinner while watching TV, shower and go to sleep. But today had been strange and she was feeling out of sorts. She needed a distraction to help her calm down.

So, after a shower, she settled back on her couch with her dinner and her phone. Jukyung normally posted a new make-up tutorial by this day of the week. Sujin loved watching her transform herself from an ordinary looking girl to a stunning beauty, while explaining each step.

To Kang Sujin, Jukyung was an artist who used her face as a canvas. Sujin herself had learned a lot just from watching Jukyung. She was excited about what she would learn today.

Sujin dismissed the dozens of Instagram notifications on her phone. Suah was always tagging her and messaging her about some post or the other. Sujin would get to them later. As Sujin searched for Jukyung’s channel, her Instagram notifications kept dinging. She put it on mute and played the video.

This time, Jukyung was giving a tutorial on American style makeup and how it was different from Korean style. Sujin grinned all the way through the video as Jukyung talked through her tutorial. Sujin scrolled through the comments as she watched.

My beauty Queen! I love you!

I tried your winged liner look and was able to finally do it for myself. Thank you.

I use the exact same foundation but it doesn’t work for my skin. But looks great on you. <3

You didn’t mention the eyeliner you used here. Can you please add it in the description?

This is why I have trust issues. She looks like a completely different person. This is fraud.

Sujin frowned at the last comment. “She looks beautiful either way.” She said angrily aloud as she typed it in, punching the buttons as if she could punch the commentor. Sujin scrolled further.

Who else came here after reading the Soompi article?

This comment had a lot of likes and comments. Maybe Jukyung was getting famous enough to be reported by entertainment websites now. Sujin smiled proudly.

Lim Jukyung, yours is the best makeup channel here!

Saranghae unnie

I was so sad to learn that you were bullied as a kid. So glad that you’ve found success now.

Sujin swallowed thickly. It would always bother her to know that she had once exploited Jukyung’s past bullying for her own gain. The fact that she had once contributed to her bullying would always fuel Sujin’s self hatred. She was just glad that Jukyung had moved on from her past and had become confident in herself. And more so, had found a community online that adored her.

As Sujin scrolled down some more, she noticed that most of the comments were talking about how Jukyung was a survivor of bullying.

“Mwo-ya…”

Wow, I had no idea this girl was so brave. Bravo!!!

I’m a survivor of bullying too. Its nice to know I’m not alone.

I bet her bully is watching this now and regretting what they did.

I don’t watch makeup tutorials. Came here cuz of the bullying scandal. But stayed cuz she is so good.

The last comment made Sujin stop. “Bullying scandal?”

Sujin went to Naver and searched for scandals involving Lim Jukyung. The first few links were Jukyung’s most popular videos but beneath that were a slew of articles from slanderous gossip sites.

Girl from Han Seojun Scandal Turns Out to be a Bully

Online Star Lim Jukyung Gets Involved in Han Seojun Scandal

Han Seojun’s Alleged Girlfriend was a Bully in High School

“What?!” Sujin stood up on her feet in shock. With shaking hands, she went through the articles one by one. Somehow, someone had uncovered the post from her high school community page that had revealed what she had done to Jukyung. Except they had gotten their facts mixed up and had reported that Sujin had been the one to bully Lim Jukyung about her looks.

That girl is so despicable.

Han Seojun is hanging out with a girl like her? I can’t believe it. I actually used to like him.

I bet this girl seduced Oppa. Don’t dislike him!

I am so glad they’re not actually dating.

Her face is so evil. And she’s uglier than Lim Jukyung!

I bet Han Seojun was fooled by her. She feels like the type who uses her looks to manipulate men.

People like her should kill themselves.

Guys! I found her Inssa!

It really is her! This is authentic!

The room began to close in on Sujin. She immediately opened Instagram where her account was flooded with comments and direct messages from people either telling her to kill herself or threatening to kill her.

Her heart was beating so fast it felt like she would throw it up. She was equal parts shaken and angry. So many people were after her but she hated that these people felt they had a right to treat her this way.

Sujin opened up the messages on Instagram and began firing back to her haters, starting with the most recent messages.

Get off of my account before I report you.

No thanks, I’m not going to kill myself.

Threatening me will only get you sued.

You don’t have to follow me if you don’t like me.

“These assholes think they can bully me online? Well, they’ve got another thing coming.” Sujin growled through clenched teeth as she typed away with all her anger.

I did not bully her!

I made a mistake!

I apologized!

People immediately started responding.

You’re not even going to admit your mistake?

OMG! I can’t believe you actually replied!

Are you honestly defending what you did?

You can’t talk like that to me! I’m going to tell everyone you’re a total b****

How can you be so audacious after you bullied someone? Just kill yourself.

Do us all a favor and kill yourself.

Kill yourself.

KILL YOURSELF.

Sujin screamed in frustration and threw her phone away. It smashed into the wall and landed with a sickening thud. Her hands suddenly felt clammy. Clammy and sticky and sweaty and dirty, dirty, dirty. So dirty that they smelled.

She ran into the bathroom and furiously scrubbed her hands clean. Once, twice, three times. No matter how many times she washed or how hard she scrubbed, the dirty stench of the hate she had just received wouldn’t wash off.

Her hands became all red and felt raw and exposed. But she kept on washing till she ran out of soap. She fell to the floor, suddenly weak and exhausted. The cool tiles felt nice and it was then that she noticed how hot she felt.

Calm down. I have to calm down. She breathed in, then out. In, then out. She could hear her heart in her ears. Pounding and pounding. The walls were closing in. The messages on her Instagram suddenly had voices that shouted in her mind.

Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself.

A ringing broke through it all. First Sujin thought it was in her head but no, it was from the living room.

Her cellphone. Lim Jukyung was calling.

How could she face Jukyung? What would she say to her? Wouldn’t Jukyung say the same as everyone else?

Sujin cut the call. Notifications from Instagram were still coming in. She deactivated her account and deleted the app.

Lim Jukyung’s name lit up her phone again.

She turned it off and flopped down on her sofa, head pounding.

Her fragile little hope for a good life was now shattered completely. She could hear her father now. Hear him yell at her that she was useless, that she was pathetic, that she was stupid and inferior. Unable to beat even Lee Suho.

Kill yourself.

Her father had never told her this, but he might as well have. Even now it was his voice saying it over and over in her mind. It was his angry stare she felt on her back.

How would she face people now? People would hate her now that they knew what she had done. And her co-workers…. Of course they knew. That’s why everyone had been acting so strange.

This all felt so cruel and unfair. She had been so good these past couple of years. She didn’t want all of it to just be taken away like this.

But didn’t you do the same thing to Jukyung? Her father’s voice taunted. She was a good person too, wasn’t she? You’re nothing but a piece of trash.

I bet you think that you destroyed Lim Jukyung, Seojun’s voice said, but you’ve only destroyed yourself.

iv.

SUMMARY of iii: Because of the Han Seojun scandal, people find out about the community post that revealed what Sujin had done to Jukyung and people online start thinking that Sujin bullied Jukyung. They harrass her and it becomes a scandal of its own.

It was chaos at Move Entertainment.

“What the hell happened?! You told me you settled this!” The director threw a magazine in Heekyung’s face. Seojun saw this through the glass door and barged in.

“Is that how you treat your employees?” He demanded angrily.

“Get out. Get. Him. Out! Get him out of this company for good measure!”

Heekyung pushed Seojun out before he could do anything else, dragging him as far away as possible. “Don’t be an idiot. You can’t just barge in like that.”

“But he’s being an asshole. Should I just stand around and let you take it?”

“This is the adult world Han Seojun. Actions have consequences here.” Heekyung said reasonably. “And you’re the reason he’s so mad. A bullying scandal is serious. We’ve even publicly acknowledged that you and Sujin are friends. This doesn’t reflect well on you.”

“The articles are lying. Sujin didn’t bully Jukyung in high school. She just—”

“I know exactly what she did. You think I don’t know about what happened to my own sister?” For a brief moment, Heekyung’s professional demeanor slipped into anger. But she recovered quickly. “It infuriates me that my sister’s past is being brought up like this. But I have a job to do and I need you to cooperate with me. Okay?”

Seojun exhaled. “What are we going to do?”

“Nothing. The situation will sort itself out. You will need to keep a low profile, however.”

Seojun exhaled. “Noona, we need to set the record straight. Sujin is—”

“Sujin isn’t represented by Move, you are. None of us here can do anything about what is happening to her.”

Seojun clenched his jaw. “Have you seen what is being said about her?”

Heekyung looked away. “Its not like I enjoy saying this. I’m only telling you what I was told when I made the same request. She’s not represented by us. She’s not our concern.”

“Was Seyeon not your concern either?”

Heekyung had nothing to say to that. “I have to go back in. You stay here, arachi? Don’t do anything rash and…” she yanked Seojun’s phone from his hand.

“Ah!” Seojun tried to get it but Heekyung had the phone out of reach.

“I’m keeping this for now.” She said and left.

Seojun exclaimed in frustration, running his hands through his hair. Despite the animosity he had towards Kang Sujin, this kind of exposure to such vitriol online didn’t sit well with him. Kang Sujin deserved a lot of things, but she didn’t deserve this.

He knew Sujin was tough. But this kind of incident would make anyone crumble. He just hoped she didn’t do anything stupid.

v.

“Sujin-ah. Can you explain your side of things?”

Of course her office had heard about everything. Apparently her past misdeeds were a trending topic online. Her supervisor had called her in as soon as Sujin had shown up.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Her supervisor asked.

Sujin inhaled, “When I was in high school, I fell in love with a boy. But he had a girlfriend… she was a friend of mine. I got jealous… and petty. I published an unflattering video of her on our school’s online community. She had been bullied in her previous school because of her looks. So the video was especially traumatizing to her. I was responsible for what happened in Saebom High, but I wasn’t involved in anything that happened before that.”

Sujin looked at her hands, still red and raw, “I have made up with her since then. I’ve apologized. We’re both friends now. And I’m not a teenager anymore.”

Something stung Sujin’s hand. Water droplets? No, tears. She hadn’t noticed when she had started crying. But she kept her face straight even when the tears didn’t stop. She looked at her supervisor.

“I am ashamed of what I did. If I could take it all back… you have no idea what I would do to take it all back.” Sujin furiously wiped away her tears. She hated crying in front of anyone. “I love working here. I really do.”

Even as she was saying the words, she knew what was coming. Of course her company wouldn’t keep her on. Even non-profits couldn’t afford bad reputations and the fact that Move Entertainment had worked with her company for a lot of benefits hadn’t escaped her notice either.

“Sujin-ah.” Her co-worker said, peeking from the cubicle wall as Sujin packed up her things.

“What?”

“I never thanked you. For getting me Han Seojun’s signature.” The woman said meekly.

Sujin gave a small smile. “You’re welcome.”

The woman handed her a bunch of sticky notes. “These are goodbyes from everyone. We know you’re not getting a farewell party so we thought you should have our thoughts with you.”

Sujin looked down at the brightly colored notes that contained encouraging messages from some of her co-workers. Her dismissal had been so swift that she hadn’t even been given the chance to say anything.

“If its worth anything… I don’t believe any of it.”

Sujin smiled gratefully this time. “Thanks, Chulhee-yah. I appreciate it.”

vi.

Sujin was both grateful and surprised by how much her friends had reached out. Apparently they had showed up to her place multiple times to see if she was okay, given that she was not answering any of her calls. Sadly, Sujin had not been there to receive them. She had gone to her aunt’s place to get away from everything.

That had not proved to be a good idea.

“Have. You. Lost. Your. Mind!!” Each word was punctuated with a smack from a slipper. Her mother, the once elegant and graceful Mrs. Kang, chased her daughter around in the most inelegant and ungraceful manner. Mrs. Kang’s sister tried to save Sujin by stepping in between but Mrs. Kang still managed to get a few whacks in.

“How could you let a boy stay over at your place?!”

“Omma! That’s what you choose to focus on?!”

“Yes! How could you have disgraced your family this way? And not just any boy, an idol? What the hell were you doing with an idol? Come here.”

This was one fight Sujin would never win. Her mother was not a force of reason when she was this angry. And it took a lot for her to get this angry.

Sujin didn’t mind these smacks. They came from a place of love and worry. Eventually her mother calmed down enough to address the other issue with Sujin. She took her daughter in her arms and wailed.

“How could those people be so mean to my daughter?”

“Omma, I can’t breathe.” Her mother smushed Sujin to herself.

“My poor girl. My poor baby girl.”

In the end, Sujin was glad she had come back to her aunt’s place. It gave her the break she had needed. Away from all of the noise of her online haters, Sujin found she could finally breathe. She found great comfort in her mother’s arms and her aunt’s assurances her that everything would be fine.

However, the dread of returning to her normal life still loomed over her head. Sujin felt her throat close up every time she imagined going back to her apartment. Would the people point and laugh at her on the street? Would she be able to live a normal life from now on?

It was strange how deeply all of this had affected her. Even now, as Sujin walked from the grocery store to her aunt’s house, she felt the paranoia that people were talking about her, pointing and laughing, even though they weren’t. 

“Sujin-ah.”

And now it felt like they were actually calling out to her.

“Kang Su!”

Sujin turned in surprise, ready to fight whoever had called her. “Who is it?”

“Who do you think? It’s Jukyungie! ” A human mass known as Lim Jukyung ran towards Kang Sujin with arms wide open. The girls hugged each other tightly, Jukyung grinning with her gummy smile while Sujin stood, mouth open in shock.

Not far behind, were Suah and Taehoon.

“Ya Kang Su, at least answer your phone! Do you know how worried I was?” Suah scolded.

Sujin laughed, almost tearing up. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She had feared that her friends would turn away and curse at her after she had avoided them. But here they were, all gathered just for her.

“How’d you find me?” She asked the three. They all turned to Suho who stood there smiling.

“Hey Sujin. Have you been well?”

Of course, Suho knew where her aunt lived.

“What well? You all know what happened.” Sujin replied, not bothering to pretend that she was fine.

“Ya! What have you done to your hands.” Jukyung held up Sujin’s scabby hands with worry.

“It’ll heal.” Sujin smiled. Maybe it was the massive hug she had received, or the fact that her friends had traveled so far away to meet her, but suddenly, Sujin felt relieved. It was as if the entire situation was trivial and that she could see light at the end of the tunnel.

“Of course we know what happened.” Suho replied.

“And we know exactly how to fix it.” Jukyung grinned wider.

vii.

On the screen, in front of a ring light she had set up at her home, Lim Jukyung stood with a gummy smile and a warm welcome.

“Ahn-nyong-se-yo everyone. This is Lim Jukyung here with a new make up tutorial for all of my beautiful viewers. Uh, today I have a new kind of tutorial for you all. But before we begin, there is something that I think has been on all of our minds that needs to be addressed.”

Jukyung motioned to someone standing behind the camera to come forward. Kang Sujin entered the frame awkwardly, not knowing where exactly to look. The way Jukyung had set up her studio for this live event was to have the camera, the mirror with the ring light and her laptop screen facing her so that she could do her make up while also reading the comments. And while Jukyung was used to having all of this equipment focused on her, Sujin was not.

“Introduce yourself.” Jukyung said softly, nudging Sujin with her elbow.

“Ah, yes.” Sujin cleared her throat. “Ahn-nyong-se-yo everyone. I’m Kang Sujin.” She waved robotically while staring in the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.

Jukyung couldn’t help but laugh. “Ya, Kang Su, are you afraid of the camera?”

“Ah-neeeee, it’s just so unnatural.” Sujin quickly countered.

“Don’t worry, the camera doesn’t bite.” Jukyung put an arm around her friend’s waist. “Okay everyone now that my friend Kang Sujin is here we can talk about the recent—”

“Lim Ju, maybe we shouldn’t do this.” Sujin interrupted anxiously.

“Huh? But it’s already live.” Jukyung pointed at the camera.

“What?” Sujin on in panic.

Jukyung continued, “So everyone, as you all may have heard, Sujin and I went to the same high school together. However, before that I attended another high school where I was bullied for my looks. Sujin and I did not know each other back then and she had nothing to do with that part of my life so the allegations that she bullied me are completely false. That was another person and that person is no longer in my life.”

Sujin cut in, “However, it is true that I revealed Jukyung’s past to our school and posted an unflattering video of her online.”

Jukyung nodded, looking serious. “I won’t lie and say it was easy for me to have that happen. But… both of us have changed since then. We have grown up and grown past that time.”

The girls took each other’s hands in solidarity.

Jukyung continued, “I’m not the girl I used to be. Neither is Sujin. And while she did do something wrong… I’ve forgiven her. I would rather remember the good times we shared…” The time that Sujin caught that pervert, the time she helped rescue Jukyung from those kidnappers, the time she helped hide Jukyung’s bare face at the school trip. “There are things that I wish I had done differently too. I wish had been more confident in myself and honest about who I really was. I wish I had stood up for myself earlier. But the past is the past, and I would rather focus on the present.”

“Everyone, I am grateful for all of the love and support you showed to me. I know bullying isn’t something you get over easily and I saw a lot of you comment about the bullying that you suffered. I am grateful you shared your stories with me. I hope we can take this opportunity to help each other heal rather than put someone down.” Jukyung looked at Sujin. “Now you.”

Sujin recited nervously, “Ah. Ahn-nyong-se-yo everyone. I’m Kang Sujin.”

Jukyung giggled. “We’ve done that already.”

“Oh, yes. Um… I uh…” Sujin took a pause to collect herself. “Let me be the first to say that I’m not a nice person—”

“Yah!” Jukyung protested but Sujin carried on.

“But I’m also not the girl who posted that video about her best friend, not anymore. At that time… I was foolish. I let my personal problems cloud my judgement and I took my frustration and anger out on Lim Jukyung. I have regretted doing that every single day since it happened. I am sorry. I understand everyone’s anger towards me. I would be angry too if I heard this about someone else. However, I hope that you all will be able to forgive me, as Jukyung has.”

Sujin ended her speech with an apologetic bow. Jukyung bowed with her. The girls then shared a tearful hug. From the back, Sujin saw Suho give her a thumbs up. Sujin sent him a smile back. The girls parted, wiping their tears.

“Okay! Now that that’s out of the way, we can get on to the real reason why you are on here.” Jukyung clasped her hands together. “Sujin will be assisting me today.”

“Ah, yes.”

“So Kang Su, shall we bring out our model today?” Jukyung asked her with a mischievous gleam in her eye.

The girls nodded conspiratorially before turning to Suho who looked on, confused.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

viii.

“What is it? What are you laughing at?” Chorong asked Seojun as he leaned over his shoulder. They were at Chorong’s place where the boys were goofing off, playing video games and lounging about.

Seojun didn’t hear Chorong’s inquiry through his ear buds and kept on shaking with silent laughter.

“Hey, nobody said anything about me being in the video.” Suho was protesting on Seojun’s phone. Seojun turned up the volume to hear Suho’s annoyed grumbling more clearly. Of course, Seojun was going to make fun of Suho about this afterwards. 

“Just sit down, Lee Su, before I get mad.” Sujin commanded.

“That attitude of yours has never worked on me,” Suho replied coolly.

“Come on, Suho-ya. I do your makeup all the time don’t I? It’ll be fine. I promise.” Of course, when Jukyung said this, Suho melted like butter on a hot pan. Sujin rolled her eyes but it was clear that it wasn’t out of spite.

“Okay everyone! Let’s begin with the base and then we’ll work our way up! I am going to keep this look as natural as possible so that its not modifying anything but merely enhancing his features.” Jukyung pushed Suho’s bangs out of his forehead with a giant pink bow shaped clip. Seojun was quick to get a screen shot of it.

“What are Lee Suho and Kang Sujin doing on Jukyung’s channel?” Chorong asked in Seojun’s ear, shocking him. Seojun almost screamed in fear. He pushed away Chorong’s face to watch the video in peace.

In the live video, Jukyung was explaining the differences of applying make up on a guy’s face, versus a girl’s face.

“Sujin-ah. Why don’t you read some of the comments while I’m buffing in his foundation? You have to buff it in for a long time to make it appear natural.” Jukyung told her audience.

Sujin moved towards the camera, blocking Jukyung a little as she read off of her laptop. Her unfiltered face was front and center for the world to see. At this position it looked unflattering, which made Seojun chuckle even more.

Sujin read the comments in a robotic monotone, “Jukyung Unnie, I don’t usually watch make up tutorials. But after today I’m your number one fan.”

“Mwo-ya, this girl has no camera sense.” Seojun said to himself.

“Thank you! I’m your fan too,” Jukyung replied brightly.

“Your looks are always so classy and stylish.”

“Thank you! I’m glad you liked them. Let me know if there are any other looks you’d like to see.”

“Will you do a tutorial on how to wear red lipstick properly?”

“I’m actually planning on doing that soon!”

“Lim Jukyung, you are so beautiful. Marry me please!”

Suho got up to see the screen, “Who asked that?”

“Sit down!” Jukyung pulled him back as he grumbled. “Sorry,” Jukyung said to the camera, “but I’m taken.”

“Are you and Kang Sujin really friends now?” Sujin turned to Jukyung and all Seojun could see was her shiny black hair on screen.

“Dangyunhaji! In fact, if I wasn’t dating Suho, Kang Sujin would be my boyfriend.”

Seojun scoffed, “As if. It would have been me.”

On the live, Sujin laughed, “Is that so? We can still be together though. Have an affair behind Suho’s back.”

“Sure.” Jukyung said casually.

“Yah!” Suho protested.

Both girls giggled.

Suho looked miffed, “Kang Sujin, you’re blocking the view.” He said peevishly.

“Oh sorry. I’ll move.” Sujin circled around the couple to stand behind Jukyung and read the comments over her shoulder.

Jukyung read something on the screen and pointed it to Sujin, “Read that one.”

Sujin hesitantly read, “Kang Sujin, I’m sorry for judging you.” She looked up, “It’s okay. I can be harsh in my judgements too. The key is to try to learn from your past.” Sujin smiled at the camera before turning back to the screen.

“Kang Sujin, you’re pretty.” Sujin recited in her monotone voice. “Yes. I know.” She said without looking up.

“She is also super smart!” Jukyung gushed. “She was one of the top students in class.”

“Could never beat me though.” Suho said smugly, still sore about the affair comment. Both girls turned to Suho and stared. His mouth became small. “Sorry.”

Jukyung went back to explaining her tutorial, slowly performing each step as Suho patiently sat. She made his eyes look bigger and applied a natural lip tint to finish off.

Both girls couldn’t help but gawk at how good Suho look by the end. Jukyung removed the pink blow clip from his hair in a daze.

“How do I look?” He asked Jukyung.

“Too good, Lee Suho.” Sujin clapped. “Too good.”

Jukyung blushed but couldn’t articulate her thoughts. She stuttered, “Uh-ah! Let’s look at the c-c-comments again!”

Suho grinned.

“Lim Jukyung, you were amazing as always!” Sujin read aloud.

“Thank you.” Jukyung bowed.

“Watch the latest and best movies for free at—”

“Sujin that’s just spam.”

“Oh. Right.” Sujin continued, “Lee Suho looks prettier than the both of you.”

The girls’ face fell flat. Suho just looked innocently at the camera. The girls cleared their throats.

“Ah that’s all the time we have!”

“Ah, yes! Time to move on!”

The two pushed Suho out of the frame together.

“I can still be on camera if you—”

“No, I think the people have seen enough of you.” Sujin said while smiling widely at the camera.

Jukyung went wide eyed when she looked into her computer screen. “Ya! This live got 3.3 thousand comments!”

“Daebak. Good job Lim Ju!” The girls grinned, but then Sujin squinted her eyes disapprovingly at something on the screen. “Lim Jukyung, you look so ugly without makeup? Ya, who wrote this comment? User name KimChee23? Why don’t you show yourself to me and then we can see who’s really ugly?”

“Sujin-ah. It’s just a comment.” Jukyung tried to calm her.

“Comments matter too! Otherwise people wouldn’t be writing them! Ya KimChee23 where do you live?”

Seojun laughed out loud as he saw Jukyung try to calm Sujin down on screen.

“So, is everything all settled now?” Chorong asked Seojun.

“I think, yes. Just look at all the comments praising Sujin.”

He was right, the comments section was flooded with statements of Sujin being a brave person for apologizing and changing her bad behavior. 

“Great.” Chorong shook his friend’s shoulders. “Now you don’t have to be so troubled about Lim Jukyung.”

“Lim Jukyung? Why would I be troubled about her?”

Chorong was confused. He had not known about the scandal. The matter Chorong had been referring to was Seojun’s theory that Kang was apparently still after Lee Suho.

“I mean... haven’t you been in a bad mood all week because of her?”

“Why bother asking Chorong?” One of the boys said, “You know the answer to all of Seojun’s heartaches is Lim Jukyung.”

Seojun didn’t bother responding. He returned to his phone screen where Jukyung and Kang Sujin were wrapping up the live, waving at the camera with wide smiles. Suho was trying to get back in the frame and Sujin kept pushing his out of it.

“Ooh. Look at how Han Seojun is smiling.”

“Something good must have happened.”

“See! He’s always thinking of Lim Jukyung.”

“No I’m not!” Seojun protested. Quietly, he admitted. “I wasn’t thinking of Lim Jukyung.”

ix.

Han Seojun had arrived at Kang Sujin’s building an hour ago, but for the life of him he could not muster the courage to go up to her apartment.

“I have no reason to see her. So, why should I?” He argued with himself. He paced back and forth, going up the entrance and then going back again, unable to enter.

In his hands, Han Seojun held a beautiful arrangement of white tulips and yellow roses. White tulips as an apology and yellow roses as an offering of friendship. It was his way of apologizing for being a jerk.

After hearing everything she had said on the live event, Seojun had no doubt that Kang Sujin wasn’t who he thought she was. Certainly, if Jukyung and even Suho could trust her, then he could at least give her the benefit of the doubt. 

It had felt like a good idea at the time to try to make amends with flowers. But now that he was actually here, at her home, he felt stupid.

What would Kang Sujin say when he showed up at her place? Would she laugh at him and tell him to go to hell? Would she be offended that he just showed up, unannounced? The uncertainly of it all made him anxious.

As he went back down the steps to the building entrance for the thousandth time, Seojun bumped into a lady.

“Oh ma’am. I’m so sorry!”

The woman had been carrying tote bags with plastic containers of food in them. The bags had fallen to the ground but luckily, the containers and the food inside them were unharmed, just a little shaken.

Seojun looked at the woman with an apologetic face. She appeared to be a very dignified lady, as old as his mother. Her hair was up in a chic bun and she wore well fitted, albeit a little worn out, clothes. Her brows were crinkled in disapproval. But upon seeing Seojun, her face softened.

“Are you okay, ma’am?” Seojun asked and his humble words spoken in that rich baritone subsided the woman’s irritation further to the point where she smiled.

“Omo, how can someone be so handsome?”

Seojun beamed. Elders had always loved him. “Ah, thank you.” He responded shyly. “Let me help you carry these.” He took the heavy bags from her, putting the flowers under his arm, careful not to smush them.

“Oh no. I don’t want to bother.”

“It’s no bother at all, ma’am. I insist.” He didn’t let the woman say another word, walking past her into the building. The woman smiled and followed.

“Are you going to visit your girlfriend?” The woman asked, eyeing the flowers.

“A friend. A friend who is a girl.”

“Is that what the youngsters are calling it these days?”

“Ah-nee-heyo. It’s not like that.”

The woman just smiled knowingly. “I’m going to visit a special girl too. My daughter lives in this building.”

They entered the elevator. Seojun asked which floor the woman wanted to go to. “Oh, I’m going to the same floor. Maybe my friend knows your daughter.”

“I’m sure she does. My daughter is a wonderful girl.”

When the lady walked in the same direction as Sujin’s apartment, Seojun said, “Oh. My friend lives this way too. What a coincidence. They might live right next to each other.”

“Then you should come over with your friend. I will cook for you.”

And when the woman stood in front of Sujin’s apartment, Seojun said, “Oh, this is my friend’s apartment. Are they roommates?”

“Young man, is your friend’s name Kang Sujin?”

“Yes, ma’am. How did you know?” Seojun asked, surprised.

The lady patted Seojun’s face, “At least you have good looks.” She punched in Sujin’s passcode and went in. Han Seojun stood outside for a full minute before he connected the dots. And then his eyes went wide.

“Sujin isn’t home yet. Why don’t you wait inside?” Mrs. Kang called out.

“I’m so sorry Mrs. Kang. I didn’t recognize you.” Seojun entered, placing the bags on Sujin’s counter.

“It’s okay, Son. You’ve known Sujin long?”

“I went to Sujin’s school. I knew her through Lee Suho.” He had only seen Sujin’s mother a couple of times at school. But never up close. She had seemed so stuck up like Sujin at the time; with her fur coats and expensive jewelry. Now she seemed like just another lady. Her appearance seemed to have humbled after the divorce.

“Oh Suho! Lovely child. How is he these days? Sujin doesn’t tell me anything.”

“He’s good ma’am.”

Mrs. Kang started lining the containers on the counter. It seemed like too much food for one person.

“Sujinnie never eats properly. She always scolds me for worrying but what can I do? She never takes care of herself.”

Indeed, when Mrs. Kang opened Sujin’s fridge, it was empty save a few water bottles and expired milk that Mrs. Kang threw away.

“And look at you! All skin and bones! It is unfashionable to be healthy these days?”

It was a complaint he had heard from his mother as well. But Seojun had to maintain a lean figure for his job, as he was about to explain to Mrs. Kang.

“Ma’am I actually have to diet beca—”

“I won’t hear it! Sit. I will get you something to eat. I’ve brought more than enough.” Mrs. Kang commanded. Seojun could see where Sujin got her tough exterior from.

“I don’t want to be a bother…”

“Nonesense! It’s no bother at all. Especially not for,” she eyed the bouquet Seojun had placed on the counter, “Sujin’s friend.”

Seojun wanted to protest Mrs. Kang’s assumptions but figured that denying it would only reinforce the idea. He would let Sujin clear up the matter.

“Well if you’re going to cook Mrs. Kang, you might as well let me help.” Seojun often cooked with his mother and was used to being in the kitchen so his culinary prowess impressed Mrs. Kang greatly.

“Your mother must be so proud of you.” Seojun grinned at the compliment. He decided that he liked Mrs. Kang.

Likewise, Mrs. Kang decided that she liked Seojun. She put the flowers he had brought in a vase and brought it to the table. As they cooked, she went on and on about Sujin and her many accomplishments. The woman was very proud of her daughter.

Seojun listened diligently as Mrs. Kang explained how much she was worried about Sujin. The non-profit sector didn’t exactly offer a lucrative career. Not as much being a doctor would have.

“I remember how much she had wanted to be a doctor as a child. Omma, I want to heal everyone, she would tell me. But when her father started pushing her and pushing her… suddenly it was all about ranking number 1, not helping people and her heart just wasn’t in it anymore.” Mrs. Kang lamented. She gave Seojun a considering look. “Has she told you… about her father?”

About the divorce? “Yes. I know.”

Mrs. Kang looked at him tenderly, “You must really be close to my daughter then. She’s a very private girl.”

Seojun didn’t understand why the woman as acting like it was some secret. Everyone knew about Mr. and Mrs. Kang’s separation.

The woman stared into the distance. “If I look back, I can only blame myself. I should have stopped it the first day her father started hitting her. But I was blind. I believed that it would all stop if she got good grades and got into a good university. My husband was always a tough man, but had never been like that to me, you see. I didn’t realize what he was doing to Sujin till it was too late.”

Seojun froze. He felt he had been told something he wasn’t supposed to know.

“And then, she started taking her anger out on other people… it might have been late, but I finally put my foot down. I’m glad my girl is in a better place now.”

Mrs. Kang looked down in remorse. Seojun found it hard to keep looking at her. He suddenly recalled what Sujin had said in Jukyung’s video.

I was foolish. I let my personal problems cloud my judgement and I took my frustration and anger out on Lim Jukyung. 

Ah, crap. Seojun thought.

“My daughter is a sensitive girl, despite how strong she appears. I just want to know that she is with people who will care for her, and not hurt her.” Mrs. Kang looked at Seojun meaningfully. He swallowed.

“She is Mrs. Kang. You don’t have to worry.”

The woman pressed his hands gratefully. “You must have heard… about what Sujin was involved in recently.”

Seojun was sure he was going to die today. His heart felt like guilt had wrapped its sharp claws around it and was squeezing tightly.

“Ah. Yes.”

“Don’t believe any of it! My Sujinnie isn’t that kind of girl”

“Ah. Yes.”

“She did go a little astray in school, but what kid doesn’t go through a phase like that? Show me a teenager who has never made a mistake!”

“You’re absolutely right ma’am.” Was all Seojun could say.

“If only I could get my hands on that Han Seojun.” Seojun felt his heart stop. It was then that he realized that he never really introduced himself to Mrs. Kang. “How dare that no good idol take advantage of my daughter? Ah-nee, what kind of a person stays over a girl’s place like that? And doesn’t even help when she gets into trouble because of him?”

Seojun could see his funeral now, his mother crying for him as his friends lined up to regret their loss.

Guys… take care. Please check on my mother for me.

The door chimed as Sujin entered. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed Han Seojun and her mother sitting at a table full of food, waiting for her.

“Ah, Omma why have you come all this way again? Do you really like tiring yourself out so much?” Sujin scolded as she hurriedly put on her indoor slippers.

“Is that any way to greet your mother?” Mrs. Kang scolded back.

Sujin was undeterred. “You know I can always come and visit you and Auntie. Why do you have to come here? And look at all this food! How is this okay for one person? It always goes bad and then I have to throw it out.”

“It goes bad because you don’t eat enough, bad girl! You see what I have to deal with?” Mrs. Kang turned to Seojun who had gone white.

“Ya Han Seojun, what are you doing here?” Sujin asked him.

There was a second of silence where no one spoke. A pin drop could be heard.

“Han Seojun?” Mrs. Kang looked at Seojun. On stage, with makeup on, Seojun looked different. Here, in person, it was difficult to recognize him. But now that his name had been spoken, Mrs. Kang could see the young man whose face had been plastered all over the articles concerning Sujin.

“You… you’re the Han Seojun from the scandal?”

Sujin quickly caught on. “Seojun. Run.”

And then all hell exploded, or rather, one Mrs. Kang. Sujin jumped in her mother’s path as the woman got up with a slipper in her hand. Han Seojun lept off his chair and bowed furiously.

“I am so sorry Mrs. Kang. I am so sorry for all the trouble caused!”

Sujin desperately tried to block her mother’s blows but Mrs. Kang was a formidable woman. She smacked Han Seojun with her slipper.

“Do. You. Have. Any idea. What. Problems. You. Caused!” She punctuated each word with a smack. Seojun, for his part, did not run but rather took it like a man. He was just glad she was beating him with a slipper and not a heel.

“Run! Why aren’t you running?” Sujin asked him as she tried to grab her mother’s wrists.

“Are you protecting him? After everything that happened?”

“I’m really sorry Mrs. Kang.” Seojun said.

“Sorry? What good will an apology do? Will an apology undo the pain you’ve caused?” Her words sounded eerily familiar.

“Ah Omma, stop hitting him! He didn’t do anything. It was my fault. It was all my idea.”

Mrs. Kang stopped. “What?”

And thus, it became Kang Sujin’s turn to be given the mom-smack down.

“Ah Omma WAEEEE??”

“It was your idea to bring him home?!”

“Omma you’ve already beaten me about that!”

“I haven’t beaten you enough.”

“Mrs. Kang please! We were both drunk. Sujin had no choice but to—”

“What?” Mrs. Kang went ballistic.

Sujin glared at Seojun, “Han Seojun do you actually want us both to die?”

“YOU WERE DRUNK?!”

“Omma it wasn’t like that!”

“Mrs. Kang it really wasn’t.” Seojun chimed in.

“If it wasn’t then why is he bringing you flowers? Why is he showing up at your place?”

Sujin looked at the tulips and roses on her table. White tulips, a flower of regret. And yellow roses, flowers of friendship. Sujin knew exactly what they meant. She wondered if Han Seojun knew too or if he just got really lucky with his choices.

It was a while before Mrs. Kang calmed down. Seojun felt thoroughly sore. Both he and Sujin sat on the floor with guilty expressions on their faces, looking like school children being punished.

“Get out. I don’t want to see the likes of your around my daughter ever again.”

“Omma.”

Seojun bowed his head to the ground. “I am really sorry Mrs. Kang. I’m really sorry for all of the trouble that I’ve caused. I assure you I will never let anything like that happen again.”

Mrs. Kang crossed her arms and looked away.

“Omma. Neither of us had any idea that something like this would happen. Its not Seojun’s fault. And besides, he got into trouble too.” Sujin nudged him with her elbow.

“Yes, ma’am. I was almost kicked out of my company.” Which wasn’t exactly true but Seojun didn’t mind fibbing a little.

“You should have been!” Mrs. Kang fumed but then softened when she saw Seojun’s best puppy dog face. Han Seojun was always good with ladies, especially ones that were mad at him.

He inched closer to Mrs. Kang. “Mrs. Kang. I’m really regretful about what Sujin faced.” He took her hands in his. Sujin watched in astonishment as Han Seojun turned her mother’s boiling anger to a low simmer. “But I promise you, I will do everything in my power to make sure that this never happens again.”

Mrs. Kang cleared her throat.

“And look, the food we both prepared has gotten all cold. Wouldn’t it be better if we all eat and talk calmly?”

Sujin scoffed, not only at the blatant pandering but at the fact that it was working. Mrs. Kang’s anger all but disappeared. It came to a point that as they all ate, she began taking his side.

“How could you risk an idol’s reputation like that?” She asked Sujin who could only roll her eyes.

“Omma, how can you say that?”

“I mean, now that I think about it, it isn’t Seojun’s fault that his fans came after you.”

“Ugh, I can’t believe this.” Sujin scowled.

As dumb as Han Seojun had appeared, Sujin had to admit this was pretty shrewd. It made her wonder what else she had misjudged him on. He even got himself invited by Mrs. Kang to come by again for dinner.

“Your mom is incredible.” Seojun told Sujin as they walked to the convenience store. Mrs. Hand had sent them out for some ice-cream since she had brought nothing for dessert.

“She’s changed a lot after the divorce. She’s more herself now.”

They walked slowly, enjoying the night air and the silence. Oddly enough the quiet didn’t feel awkward or strange. Neither of them felt any pressure to speak. They got papico, the ice-cream that came in squishy bottles, and sat by on the benches outside.

“Kang Sujin,” Seojun began, “about what happened… are you… You know when I, um… I guess what I’m trying to say is…”

Sujin laughed, a clear gurgle of joy that made Seojun feel strange in his stomach. “Mwo-ya? Has the great Han Seojun been rendered speechless?” She laughed some more and Seojun didn’t stop her. “Relax Han Seojun. I’m fine.”

Seojun looked at his feet. “I… wasn’t happy with what happened to do… with the articles and how everybody was talking about you.”

“Gwenchana. It’s over now. I mean I had to make another Instagram account but all in all, its not as bad now. Besides,” she tilted her chin, “do you think a bunch of cowards who hide behind usernames are enough to take me down? I’m Kang Sujin, remember? Badass of Saebom High.”

“I thought I was the badass of Saebom high.” Seojun raised a brow.

“You were the gangster.” Sujin grinned, eating her ice-cream.

“I’m glad you’re tough. You don’t let these things bother you.”

“I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. People telling me that I’m the worst and I should die wasn’t exactly easy.” She said grimly. “But you know what upset me the most?”

“What?”

“That I couldn’t beat those cowards up for saying what they did.” Sujin got up and punched the air. “If I could just get my hands on those twerps then I would teach them a lesson or two.” She punched the air.

The fire in Sujin’s eyes was so comical that Seojun burst out laughing.

“Don’t laugh! Hajima! I’m not joking.”

“Kang Sujin, were you always such a fighter?”

“Yup!” Sujin stated simply. She sat back besides Seojun, closer this time. And he noticed. “What about you?” She asked. “How are you doing?”

Seojun leaned back leisurely, “Eh, I’m fine. I don’t worry about public perception anyway. The people who matter will know me. Everyone else is just noise.”

“I bet your fans would leave you in a second.” Sujin teased.

“Don’t diss my fans. They’re all cool and awesome.”

“What, all two of them? Do they also happen to be named Jukyung and Suho?”

“You’re forgetting Chorong.”

The two giggled.

“Did your co-workers ask for more autographs?”

“Nope. Got fired before they could.”

“What?” Seojun stood up. Sujin relayed how her company had let her go after details about her past misconduct were released online.

“How could they just fire you? Isn’t that illegal?”

“Calm down. It’s normal for that to happen.”

“How can you be so calm?”

“Would you rather I get angry? There’s no point in doing that. I won’t get that job back.”

Seojun pressed his lips together in a tight line and sat back down.

“I’m surprised that you’re actually defending me.” Sujin sounded impressed.

“I mean… its wrong. Even if you and I don’t get along, what’s wrong is wrong.”

Sujin chuckled. She looked at the time on her phone. “I should get back. How are you getting home?”

“I brought my bike.”

“Your company lets you ride motorbikes?”

“Nope.” Seojun grinned.

“A’ight. Good night, Han Seojun. Stay safe.” Sujin walked back in the direction of the apartment. Feeling light and happy. While her online image hadn’t completely recovered, her relationship with Han Seojun had. She might not have to simply tolerate his presence now. They might genuinely get along.

“Kang Sujin!” Han Seojun called out to her, the woman who he thought was vile and destructive. The person that turned wasn’t that woman. It was the little girl who had looked to her father with love but only got his abuse in return.

“I’m sorry I misjudged you.” Seojun told the little girl.

The girl smiled. “I’m sorry I misjudged you too.”

x.

It was unfamiliar territory, getting along with Kang Sujin. More for the group than Han Seojun and Kang Sujin. They all looked at the pair in wonder and shock when Sujin asked Seojun to pass the soy sauce and he obliged. It shocked them further when Sujin laughed when Seojun bragged about being recognized at a department store and being asked for pictures.

“Hey, you feeling okay?” Jukyung asked Sujin quietly.

“Yeah, why?” Sujin replied.

“Nothing. Just asking.”

“Hey, what’s up with you?” Suho asked Seojun privately.

“What?”

“You’re acting all weird around Kang Sujin.”

“Weird how?”

“You’re being nice.”

“Am I not supposed to be?”

“Okay! Who’s going to go first?” Taehoon asked the room, interrupting Suho and Seojun’s conversation. 

They were at Suho’s apartment where he had a karaoke machine set up. Seojun had finally relented to visiting their place and it was just as painful as he had thought it would be. It was a mishmash to Jukyung’s bright and lively style with Suho’s dark and moody one.

The posters of rock bands and Junji Itou’s mangas were something both of them shared. It was fascinating how the two of the most caring people in Seojun’s life were into such dark things. Seojun saw Sujin eye one of the horror comic book posters suspiciously, as if the monster drawn in them could come out any second.

Chorong sang first, sharing a duet with his girlfriend. Then Taehoon and Suah went next. Duets seemed to be the theme of the night. Jukyung and Suho went next.

“Alright? Who else?”

Sujin was the only girl left.

“Well I’m not going up there.” She said when everyone looked at her. She eyed the other boys, all of whom were terrified of her. Even they could still hear Kang Sujin saying Ya Han Seojun, are you a gangster?!

“Jukyung-ah. Sing with me.” Sujin grabbed Jukyung’s hand and led her up before she could say anything.

“I’m singing too!” Suah joined.

Seojun went next. His was a solo and he clearly was the best performer. His rich baritone singing in a soft melody made everyone pay attention.

“Isn’t it nice to have an idol as a friend?” Suah asked. “Its like having a private concert.” Jukyung and Sujin nodded in agreement.

Everyone swayed their heads to the beat, except for Kang Sujin who was noticing the lyrics Han Seojun was singing.

I want to give you all of my days

I want to tell you all these feelings of mine

The sleepless blue winds

Brightly light up this night

He was singing about Lim Jukyung. Sujin looked over to her friend, who was looking longingly in Suho’s eyes. The two were entranced with each other, not noticing Han Seojun who stood just a couple of feet away, pouring his heart out.

After all the fun had been wrapped up, Seojun and Sujin had been the only two to stay back. Sujin had helped Jukyung clean up while Suho went to throw out the trash.

As Sujin cleaned the dishes, Seojun sat in the living room, looking at all of the pictures Jukyung and Suho had hung up. He could see how Suho and Jukyung would sit on the very couch he was on and watch TV together or lie around reading books.

He tried to replay those images, with himself there with Jukyung instead of Suho but he couldn’t. He couldn’t lie to himself about who she belonged to.

“You know, Han Seojun, I just realized something.” Sujin called from the kitchen.

“What?”

“You have two hands.”

Seojun looked at her like she had lost her mind. “Wow, Kang Sherlock. Your powers of deduction amaze me.”

“So, since you have those two hands, and you’re a gentleman, why not help me out over here? I assume you would feel bad that I’m the only one doing any actual cleaning.”

“You assume incorrectly. I have no issues with you doing all the cleaning.” Seojun turned back to the TV and was promptly hit in the head with a dish rag.

“Oops.” Sujin said flatly.

Seojun got up, dish rag in hand. Wordlessly, he took out the dishes from the washer and lined them up in the cabinets.

“Aren’t you ever afraid that Jukyung will be uncomfortable about you singing love songs to her?” Sujin asked in a low voice.

“What do you mean?”

“That song you sang. My heart is full of you, I’m starting to take after you?”

Seojun eyed her. “She won’t know.”

“I did.”

“Yeah but, you’re you and Jukyung’s Jukyung.”

“So?”

“So…” Seojun leaned closer, “you ranked number two in class for a reason.”

“Sujin-ah! I told you I would take care of everything.” Jukyung appeared from her bedroom.

“Don’t worry about it. Han Seojun helped.” Sujin assured.

The pair said their goodbyes to the couple and exited together. Han Seojun said nothing when he started walking his own way, while Kang Sujin turned to wave at him but was unseen. He was too lost in his own broken heart to notice anyone or anything.

She simply sighed, took it as just a Han Seojun thing and started walking in the other direction.

xi.

“I still can’t get used to this.” Suah said, waving a spoon between Han Seojun and Kang Sujin. The two sat opposite each other and were eating their food peacefully.

It was this peace that bothered Suah.

“I mean, how can you two just get along?”

“We’re adults Choi Su. We can learn how to get along.” Sujin stated.

Suho spluttered in laughter. “I thought you said that Seojun was a giant baby with no manners?”

Seojun gave Sujin a scathing look. Sujin went pink, “I never said that! You take that back!”

“It’s still strange.” Suah leaned closer. “What happened? Have you guys settled your differences?”

“Han Seojun got Sujin flowers.” Suho said cheekily.

“Yah!” Seojun protested. But it was in vain, the deed was done, and everyone oohed and aahed at this news.

“Did you really get her flowers?”

“Wait, when did this happen?”

“Does that mean that Seojun apologized first?”

“What kind of flowers?”

Seojun looked at Suho with the rage of a thousand suns. Suho just grinned back.

“Aren’t flowers romantic?”

“Ya! There was nothing romantic about it. All I got her were yellow roses and white tulips.” Seojun defended.

“OoooOoooh. Roooses. Roses are totally romantic.” Taehoon teased.

“They were yellow. Yellow roses are for friendship!”

“So, are you two friends?” Jukyung asked and everyone looked at Seojun and Sujin.

“Meh.” They both shrugged at the same time.

“Omo! Look at how in sync they are!”

“We are not.” They both said in sync.

Seojun had to admit, their group gatherings were much more comfortable now that he and Sujin had cleared the air between them. He enjoyed discovering how Sujin was less the ice princess he had thought her to be and more a regular girl. She also turned out to be much cooler than he had expected.

She had been the only one to see his discomfort when Jukyung and Suho suggested they all go on an overnight trip with them. Going to see their apartment; the very proof that Lim Jukyung and Lee Suho ate and slept—Oh God, don’t think about them sleeping—together was painful enough. Seojun didn’t need to see them canoodling for an entire weekend.

“What about it guys? Shall we go?” Jukyung looked around as everyone nodded excitedly, including Sujin.

But then her eye’s met Seojun’s. He said nothing but he didn’t need to.

“Lim Ju, it’ll be difficult for me to join. I just lost my job, remember? An overnight trip is...” Seojun knew Sujin was just making up an excuse.

“Oh, oh right. Sorry Kang Su-ya. I totally forgot. Something else then!”

The group moved on to discussing other options. Seojun sent Sujin a grateful look. She acted nonchalant, as if she had not just overturned everyone’s plans for him.

“Thanks. For what you did back in there.” He told her as they were all leaving.

“Forget about it.” She waved a hand in dismissal.

The next time the group gathered at a fancier restaurant than usual. A suggestion by Suho who had offered to pay for the food tonight.

“This place is so beautiful.” Suah commented looking around the interior.

“Are we celebrating something?” Sujin asked. “This doesn’t seem like a regular get-together.”

Sujin had only asked for the sake of asking. But something about the way Suho looked at her told Seojun that she was on to something.

“Well,” Jukyung held up her hand, “we do have something to announce.”

And announce she did. The big fat diamond resting on her ring finger had a lot to say. And suddenly everyone erupted with joy. The girls took Jukyung in their arms, squealing and crying with joy. The boys surrounded Suho, patting him on the back, congratulating him.

All except Seojun, who just sat there in a daze. Sujin happened to look over and see him, frozen in his seat. Sujin wasn’t alone in her observation. Taehoon also noticed but missed the implication.

“Look! Han Seojun is actually so shocked he—"

Sujin made it look like an accident, her bumping into the table and sending a glass down on the floor, shattering into a million pieces. The sound shook Seojun out of his daze and also distracted everyone from realizing Seojun’s inner turmoil.

“Oh shit.” Sujin said looking down.

“Hey, be careful.” Jukyung said.

“You okay?” Suho asked Jukyung, taking her arm.

“Excuse me, can we get someone to clean this up?” Taehoon asked the waiter.

The fuss over the broken glass gave Seojun enough time to recover. He then congratulated Suho with a massive hug.

“You both deserve each other. I mean it.” He told Suho and he meant it.

Maintaining a fake smile over dinner was easy. Everyone else was so chatty that Seojun’s and Sujin’s relative silence went unnoticed. Suah pestered Jukyung for details: “How did it happen?”, “When?”, “Why didn’t you call me immediately?”. Taehoon made jokes about marriage being the end of romance to which Suah started an argument with him and then it became about settling matters between the two.

Sujin didn’t remember much of what happened after that, the rest of the night was a blur. She just hoped that she had maintained enough dignity to not appear as bitter as she actually felt.

Even though they all parted very late in the night, Sujin couldn’t go directly home. She needed something to ease the pain. So naturally, she went to the nearest tent bar she could find. The place seemed to be overcrowded, with people waiting outside for others to leave. Sujin managed to sneak in and grab a table.

She downed half of a soju bottle in one go but then couldn’t muster the energy to drink further. Her side dishes went untouched. All Sujin could do was stare and wonder if there was any way to just take her heart out of her chest and throw it away. Because there seemed to be no relief from this pain she was feeling.

She banged her head on the table. “Ah wae? Why can’t I just move on?” She asked herself in frustration.

“Ugh, why the hell are you here?” That irritated tone and deep voice could only belong to one person. And indeed, when Sujin looked up she saw Han Seojun a few tables over looking at her in disdain.

“Wae? You have a claim on this place?” Sujin raised a critical brow.

“And what if I do?”

“Then give me everything for free. Since we’re friends who get along.”

“No. Friends pay double.”

“How stingy.” Sujin took another shot of soju.

The man running the tent bar came over. “Why don’t you two share a table since you know each other? I have customers waiting to be seated.”

“No way, I’m not sitting with her.” Seojun grumbled.

“Aha! I knew it! Being all nice to me was just an act.”

The owner ignored Sujin, “How can two youngsters be so rude? Get up! I’m moving you over there.”

This was how Han Seojun came to drink with Kang Sujin for the second time. They both looked at each other with scowling faces.

“What happened, Kang Sujin? You were acting all happy for the lucky couple.” Seojun taunted. He seemed a little tipsy but so was Sujin.

“Of course, I’m happy. I’m so, so happy.” She said wistfully.

Seojun scoffed. “Is that why you were whining about not being able to move on? I thought you said you didn’t like Lee Suho anymore.”

Sujin narrowed her eyes. “I don’t. And even if I allegedly did, at least I held it all in. You were clearly about to run away with Jukyung before I saved you.”

“Saved me? Puh-lease.”

“Why? Do you think that glass fell on its own?”

Seojun gave her a sideways look before taking another shot.

“You gonna eat that?” He pointed a chin to her plate.

“Nah, have it.”

They sat in silence for a moment. A comfortable silence where neither felt compelled to say anything.

Sujin shook Seojun when she suddenly smacked her glass down on the table. “I’m over Lee Suho.” She declared. “I’m over Lee Suho… but…”

“Just because you’re over him, doesn’t mean you stopped loving him.” Seojun said what she was thinking.

She looked at him, her pain evident on her face. In that moment, he let himself be vulnerable too.  

“Isn’t it funny? Out of everyone I know, you’re the only one who gets… this.” Sujin said.

Seojun chuckled. “Exactly. Who woulda thought? Kang Sujin and Han Seojun having something in common.”

“You know it’s gonna hurt even worse from now on, right? We’re the closest to those two. That means we’ll be involved in everything.”

Seojun rubbed his faced. “I can’t think about that right now. Or I really will die.”

Sujin understood what he meant. “You know what I want?”

“What?”

“I want Suho to never find out that I still like him.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I can’t help that I feel this way right? You can’t stop yourself from feeling what you feel. But… I wanna keep my dignity. I wanna still be cool and… not be seen as some pathetic loser who’s still after her best friend’s boyfriend.”

Seojun took a shot, nodding.

Sujin leaned forward. “That’s why, I suggest we help each other out.”

Seojun gave her a look. “How so?”

“Well, if we see the other being too transparent, then we stop them, or at least take the attention away so that the other can collect themselves.”

“Like the broken glass today?”

“Like the broken glass today. And if it’s getting too painful, then we can just talk about it.”

Seojun laughed. “Kang Sujin, offering therapy. That’s rich.”

“Not therapy. Friendship. It helps if you talk about stuff like this.” Sujin insisted.

Seojun gave her a considering look. “What’s in it for me? These seem like things you want to do.”

“You’ll be able to attend Jukyung’s wedding without feeling like you’re dying on the inside.”

“There’s no guarantee that will happen.”

“You’re right, there isn’t. But at least that’s what it’ll look like. Think about it Han Seojun. Do you want Jukyung to always see you as the friend who is in love with her? Or do you want her to see you as a cool friend who she can comfortably rely on, without wondering if she’s hurting his feelings.”

Seojun thought about it. It felt like a bad idea. But there was a part of Han Seojun that was tired of his own attachment to Lim Jukyung. If it meant that it would help him move on, then he was willing to try anything

“Alright, Kang Sujin.” He raised his glass. Sujin clinked hers with his. “Let’s try this.”

I am bad at making memes but I do it any way

[forasecondtherewedwon]

10. You confessed your feelings and we’re about to kiss but we get interrupted

36. Friends with benefits and both people catching feelings

Wavetide

Pairing: Peter Parker x Michelle Jones (Spideychelle) Rating: E (we’ll be working up to it) Chapter: 1/7

Summary:

She never tells anyone. Well, she admitted it to Ned once because he caught her staring at Peter in a way that was too difficult to deny, but she’s never confessed to the fact that her love for their friend isn’t a solitary tsunami of longing; it sweeps in and out in waves.

Michelle Jones’s life is a world-record attempt at most times falling in love with the same person. She’s loved Peter Parker on-and-off dozens of times since they were 10, and they’re only 12 now, so it’s almost a weekly thing. He’ll make her laugh right when they’re coming in from recess and she’ll love him. He’ll pick her for his squad when they’re doing wind sprints in gym and he’s her thoughtless best friend again. She never tells anyone. Well, she admitted it to Ned once because he caught her staring at Peter in a way that was too difficult to deny, but she’s never confessed to the fact that her love for their friend isn’t a solitary tsunami of longing; it sweeps in and out in waves.

When they wake up, Peter will be 13. A teenager. They’re camped out in the Leedses’ living room in anticipation of the big event. His aunt and uncle are going to host the actual party at their apartment tomorrow, with cake and balloons and everything, but tonight, the three friends have Ned’s pup tent set up indoors (was supposed to be outdoors, but it’s raining). The scenario feels strangely like a farewell to their mutual childhood and Michelle’s having a hard time falling asleep.

Ned’s been asleep for half an hour, but she doesn’t realize Peter hasn’t joined him until she rolls over on the air mattress and he turns his head to look at her. Ned’s on the far end; they always banish him to the edge for snoring. Peter’s hair shushes against the cotton pillowcase as he adjusts, still watching her.

“Do you think it’s after midnight?” he whispers.

“Maybe. Happy birthday.”

“Thanks.”

He smiles at her and Michelle draws her knees up to her chest inside her sleeping bag, hugging them in place. She’s grateful that the three of them are still allowed to do this, have sleepovers in confined spaces and all sleep on the same air mattress.

Peter garbles something through a large yawn and she snickers, shuffling closer. The confusing tug of her reluctance to grow up eases when she concentrates on him.

“What?” she asks.

“I wonder if it’s still raining,” he repeats.

“We could go see?”

Ned’s house after dark is weighted by dense silence. Michelle doesn’t have to ask if Peter feels it too, because they’ve discussed it on other occasions when Ned was the first to conk out for the night. The Leedses’ home is a fascinating place for two kids who’ve grown up in apartments. The lowness of every window looking out on the ground floor, the quiet of no neighbours on the other side of the wall. It’s almost creepy.

They shift their weight carefully, wriggling off the air mattress like commandos crawling under barbed wire, trying not to jostle Ned in his slumber.

“Bouncy castle,” Peter hisses at her and pumps his arms against the mattress to make them both sway on their hands and knees.

“Stop it,” she says, giggling as her eyes flick to Ned. It’s ok, he’s still asleep.

With a rub of nylon, they slither out of the tent. Peter darts his arm back in to snatch his sleeping bag. Michelle glances sideways to see how he’s bundled about half of it into his arms as they pad across the carpet. Ned’s mom drew the blinds and Michelle shuffles over to part them, but Peter pulls her wrist and they go to the back door instead. With a flip of the lock, he slides the glass door open, letting the sound of chittering insects pour through the screen. The rain’s done. There’s a big oak in the yard and Michelle can see the bright lightbulb curve of the moon above its crown before she and Peter sit cross-legged on the floor.

“Are you cold?” he asks.

“No.”

But it’s nice when Peter unzips his sleeping bag all the way so they can pull it around their shoulders like two kings with one luxurious cape. Michelle grips the corner over her left shoulder, Peter over his right. Even a year ago, this might’ve been the moment where she confessed to how tired she was and felt him gather her close, making sure the sleeping bag tucked around to cover her knees. Tonight, she has a soft white bra under her pajama top because she’s too aware of her friends being boys to take it off, even to sleep. Under that, she has a heart that gushes and swells with this feeling she gets whenever she sneaks a look at her friend’s sleepy face, the hair that tumbles onto his forehead and curls up above his ears.

“Fireflies,” Peter points out, scratching his finger against the screen when he gestures too fast and misjudges the distance. He’s right. They’re blinking yellow all over Ned’s yard.

“Yeah.”

“You think they’re lucky?”

“Not that lucky. They only live for two months. I read that,” she says. There’s a mosquito bite on the back of her arm that makes her currently unsympathetic towards bugs.

“But what if I want to make a wish on them?”

“On a firefly that’s going to die in two months? Why would you?”

“Lit birthday candles last way shorter than that,” he counters, “and we make wishes on them.”

“Well, that’s just because men are obsessed with demonstrating their dominance over fire. Man master of fire!” Michelle elucidates in a Neanderthal grunt.

“That’s not really why we blow out candles, is it?” Peter asks. She shrugs next to him. “It can’t be,” he says with more certainty. She doesn’t respond. “Still, they’re pretty.”

Michelle looks to see him watching the fireflies, eyes darting to each flare of light in turn. She’s on the dock of her childhood and she can spot the next wave rolling in.

“What would you wish for?” she asks.

Peter scoffs and twists a little so he can focus on her.

“I can’t tell you.”

“You can as practice. The wish only doesn’t come true if you talk about it after you blow out your candles. Allegedly,” Michelle adds, because they aren’t children anymore and she, for one, will not be taken in by nonsense on the arcaneness of birthday wishes.

“A real lightsaber.”

“That’s dumb.”

“It’s not your wish!” he says.

“No kidding.”

He shrugs off her sarcasm.

“I don’t really want anything.”

“Don’t pout just because you can’t be a Gemini.”

“Jedi.”

Oh, she knows what they’re called. She’s employed this particular taunt many, many times.

“Pick something,” Michelle urges.

“I do, uh…”

Peter drops his gaze and plays with the string dangling from the edge of the sleeping bag. This is suspicious behaviour. She studies him, attempting to recall the information on reading body language she’s picked up from true-crime books and fake-crime TV shows. Her parents don’t like her reading or watching that stuff ‘at her age,’ but she’s a firm believer in a running start to teenage rebellion.

A warm breeze rustles the oak’s green leaves and washes over their faces.

“I do want one thing,” he mumbles. It’s barely spoken―the gentle wind is making more noise.

There’s something off and it makes Michelle nervous. Everything inside her, apart from her brain, thinks it knows where this is going when Peter licks his lips and flexes his hands briefly like he does when he’s making a decision. She’s waited for this. She’s scared of this. How it’ll change them. She almost wants to go back to five minutes ago, when they were side by side in the tent with nothing to make them feel older except her feet hanging off the end of the air mattress when she scrunched down to get her head aligned with Peter’s so they could talk softly in the dark. Michelle asks her best friend what it is he wants, but only in her head.

“I want to kiss you,” he says, looking at her.

“Why?” she blurts.

“I just do.”

Her heart’s galloping. The wave’s about to crash.

“I guess it makes sense,” Michelle bluffs. Her whole body feels numb with the anticipation.

“What do you mean?”

“We’ll be starting high school in a year and people are going to start getting together so I guess I get why you don’t want to be left behind or whatever.”

Peter faces forward again and she can see him well enough to watch his throat jerk as he swallows.

“MJ, that’s not why.”

“Sure it is. You want practice.”

“It’s not like that,” he says and she’d bet he heard that somewhere, all the old movies he watches, because it sounds too grown up for her Peter.

“Do it then.”

His head snaps up and he looks at her.

“What?”

“Do it. Kiss me.”

She tries to square her shoulders and be the self he knows her to be. The Michelle who steps between bullies and her boys. The Michelle who isn’t scared to hold a bug or go to the section of the Halloween store with the really disturbing rubber masks that have, like, eyeballs dangling out of their sockets.

“You want me to?”

“Yeah, I want to see if you’re good at it,” she says toughly, chin up in a challenge.

“You’ll probably be good at it,” Peter mumbles under his breath as he scoots to face her instead of the door. Michelle mirrors him.

As he leans towards her, she can feel herself inside the wave―water all around and her twirling in a complicated pattern as it decides what to do with her. Not wanting Peter to get all the credit for going through with this, Michelle bends in his direction. Their knees make contact and she glances down at where her best friend’s shins cross. She sees fine brown leg hair, then squeezes her eyes shut as she tilts her face up, scared of however he appears in this moment. She’s surprised that she doesn’t flinch when his fingertips touch her cheek. He exhales in a soft puff, close.

“I really like you,” he murmurs.

Michelle’s underwater and can’t speak.

And then, “COOKIE!” someone yells in the night. A dog yaps sharply in response.

Michelle and Peter spring apart at the sound of one of Ned’s neighbours. Are they going to persevere? Get back in kissing distance and find out if they have some kind of spark that’ll tell them they’re meant to be more than friends? That’s how it seems to work in the old movies she watches and doesn’t tell the boys about. She’s not sure yet where rom-coms fit in the image of herself she’s only beginning to sketch, so she keeps them quiet.

Because she’d rather make a wrong action that’s all her own than react to whatever Peter decides to do, Michelle scrambles swiftly to her feet.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” she says. It seems like the least romantic thing she can say. Peter stands too, eyes searching hers uncomfortably. The shared sleeping bag is neglected at their feet.

She strides off and he doesn’t try to grab her to stop her. She’s not sure what she’d do if he did. The bathroom’s down the hall and when she looks back, she sees him in his t-shirt and pajama shorts, scooping up the sleeping bag. A distinct longing to swim out to him surges inside her, but the wave of more-than-a-friendship-kind-of-love flings her away and she faceplants on the beach of Unrequited Crushes. Maybe… soon… they can still try? Because they’re both too embarrassed tonight when she eventually returns to the tent. And she acts like nothing happened during his birthday party. When his uncle dies suddenly and terribly, she can’t put any kind of expectation on Peter for them to be anything but friends. He needs her as a friend. The memory of him standing at the back door with his arms full of sleeping bag lingers. In Michelle’s mind, she turns away from the ocean. If she doesn’t look, she can’t see the wave.

To be continued!

[waywardwrestlewritingwaif]

Better Late Than Never?

I had a few other ideas in the creative queue that I planned to do first but after watching TLC and Smackdown, this one just pushed its way to the front. Kevin is one of my long time favorites and not just because he’s from the place where I live. I seriously think that despite having been Universal Champion, US  Champion, and a major player for years, he’s still undervalued by WWE. Aside from his skills in ring, he is one of the Top 10 and possibly Top 5 promos in the world, whether as a heel or babyface. I hope 2021 is the year that he finally gets fully acknowledged. 

SO... Here’s a story featuring Kevin that’s about someone seeing just how wonderful he is. 

Pairing: Kevin Owens x reader

Word count: 3,627

Content advisory: swearing, references to sexual activity

You definitely need to be more diligent about moisturizing your legs. There’s a fine, powdery finish that lays over your dark skin like a kind of mildew or fungus and you can see a delicate web of white lines where your body cries out for hydration. You run your fingers along your tibia, wiping away the offending dust. It’ll be back in a few minutes but you like the feeling that it’s something that you can get rid of when you choose to. However, unless you plan on rubbing your fingers over your legs constantly, you need to be more diligent about moisturizing. 

It’s one of those details that’s become kind of fascinating during the hours you’ve been sitting here, getting a headache from the endless background noise and recycled air of the hospital, consciously stopping yourself from turning into one of those strident Karens who get up in the nurses faces and yell because they want their loved one to take priority over everything else. 

‘Loved ones.’

Even thinking the term makes you feel nervous, makes your dry skin shiver. You’re here in this hospital sitting vigil next to the bed of a man who’s been your friend for years, a sometime sparring partner, a frequent travel buddy, and a recent one night stand. But now he is very much a loved one and you wish he’d wake up from his medicated slumber so you could tell him. 

“I love you, Kevin Owens.”

There are a lot of visible welts and bruises on his skin. There’s a contusion on his cheek that’s so swollen it looks like someone’s inserted a balloon under his skin, a bruise so dark you can see it through his beard, and various ugly yellow and purple marks all the way down his torso. You know because, after the nurse had left the two of you alone, you lifted up his chintzy medical gown to survey the damage. 

You were allowed to do that, you figured. That’s one of the things that couples who loved each other never had to be shy about: showing their ugly parts and imperfections. If he would just wake up, you’d be happy to show him how dry and dusty your skin had gotten. If he’d just wake up. 

More concerning than the bruises are the split on his wrist and the bandaged ankle that’s been elevated to reduce the swelling, and the two dislocated ribs. Those are things that can put a wrestler on the shelf for months. You know, because you’re just getting the chance to get back in the ring yourself after you somehow managed to break your ankle in two places at once jumping from the top rope to the floor, a move you’d done a hundred thousand times without incident. You don’t want that for Kevin, not when he’s been on such an upward trajectory lately, not while he’s been so able to remind the powers that be of what an incredible talent he is. That ankle is already held together with Mac-Tac and positive thinking. It would break both your hearts to see him sidelined now. 

That’s how a woman in love reacts under these circumstances, you think. When her man is threatened, she becomes dangerously protective. She’d do anything possible and probably a few things that aren’t in order to save the person she’s in love with. And if the bastard would just wake up for a few seconds, you’d say that. 

Tenderly, you run your fingernails through the wiry scruff of his beard, careful to avoid touching the bruised skin. You let one finger, your so-called ring finger (that’s never had a ring on it) over the corner of his lips. You consciously choose that finger because the human body exerts the least pressure on it. You want him to wake up but not because you’re poking at him. But you can’t resist touching him a little. 

Even when you and Jey had been together, you and Kevin had been affectionate. It was one of the many points of conflict that you’d had with Jey, along with the fact that you swore so much that he was worried about introducing you to his mother, that you were a shit cook, and that your parents’ marriage had made you extremely dubious about the whole concept. 

You might consider marrying Kevon Owens, though, because he thought it was funny that you swore, that you had a tendency to drool in your sleep, who thought you were beautiful when you woke up even though you had crusts in your eyes, who was fine with ordering takeout or trying to cook something together that occasionally worked out. 

And maybe he would have asked if you hadn’t been so weird about everything. That was on you. 

You wouldn’t have described Kevin as one of your closest friends but he was definitely a guy you got along with, dating back to before you’d both signed to WWE. You’d even fought each other a couple of times, the last one being a PWG event where you’d failed to tuck your head up properly taking his signature package piledriver and ended up with a concussion. 

He’d apologized every time he saw you for six months, even after you were both in NXT, until you’d finally figured out a way to assuage his guilt about the whole incident. 

“You don’t need to keep apologizing, big boy,” you’d cooed, “just because I couldn’t handle your package.”

Then that had become a huge joke between you, and everyone assumed it meant that something had happened, that the two of you had done the horizontal mambo and were trying to get over it. You’d almost felt offended because you knew Kevin wasn’t exactly thought of as a hot property. At the same time, there was something about his rough persona, the character of a guy who’d just take what he wanted that made you think of what it would feel like for him to grab your wrists and pin you to the bed and…

Well, the two of you were always just friends. You were both experts at banter and setting the other up for funny lines. And you even found it easy to travel together, which coworkers found pretty remarkable. 

Normally, Kevin traveled with Sami, and if Sami wasn’t available, he traveled alone. But he’d come to accept you because he’d realized that any kind of travel put you to sleep almost immediately, which meant that he could have the peace he wanted and you could sleep without the guilt that other travel partners gave you for not doing your share of the driving, or at least being good enough company to keep them awake and alert by being good company. 

An announcement sounds, exceptionally loud as they all seem to be, over the internal broadcast system. 

“Housekeeping to triage with a wet mop and a bucket!”

You don��t even want to think what that means, but Kevin stirs just the tiniest bit and you’re excited that he might actually be coming out of it. Without even thinking about it, you lean over and press a soft kiss to his cheek, close to his lips, like he’s Sleeping Beauty and you’re Prince Charming. 

His facial muscles twitch a little but he remains unconscious. You are not Prince Charming. 

About a year ago, you’d started dating Jey Uso. He was so incredibly hot to you that you could barely stand to look at him. He’d joked around with you all the time and rather than come up with your usual retorts, you’d been unable to do anything but giggle uncomfortably. Naomi, who was your closest friend at the time, had sworn up and down that the two of you were perfect for each other. 

“Everything that I think makes Jey a dick compared to Jimmy to me makes it like he was meant for you,” she’d gushed. 

And she was right. After half a dozen times she’d insisted you ride with them (which had forced you to stay awake), made you eat with them, gotten you to hang out with them, you were totally smitten and you had a pretty good notion the sentiment was mutual. One night, the four of you had gone bowling and you and Jey had just spontaneously started making out. Considering it was girls against boys, it had kind of ruined bowling night. No one had cared. 

After that, you’d seen Kevin a lot less. You were a couple and you were more or less connected at the hip to another couple. But after eight or nine months things had started to go sour. And then Naomi and Jimmy got sidelined and it became obvious that you and Jey had stayed cool more or less for their benefit. 

You’d been the one to end things. He’d been adamant that what you had was worth fighting for, whereas you knew that the two of you were just too different to mesh in the long term. Being funny and being wrestlers wasn’t enough. It had felt unreal that he’d fought so hard to stop you from leaving him when he hadn’t seemed that happy having you with him. Sometimes, you’d wanted to relent because the good times with him had been some of the happiest of your life. Sometimes, you’d wanted to relent because sex with him had been amazing. But you’d managed to stand your ground, even though your ground left you pretty lonely. 

It wasn’t that Naomi didn’t understand, but once you’d broken up with Jey, things with her became awkward. And you were suddenly on lousy terms with Jimmy, who’d been a pal to you. Other friends were hard to talk to because you’d basically dropped them when you’d hooked up with Jey. But Kevin was happy to welcome you back. The two of you fell into the easy, comic interaction you’d had before and it was the first time in months you’d felt like yourself. 

A couple of weeks ago, it had gotten weird. Well, not weird. It had gotten sexual. You and Kevin had been excited about the fact that you both had matches on TLC, the first time you'd been on the same PPV. You’d started with actual champagne, or at least whatever sparkling wine the restaurant had in your price range. Then you’d moved on to real wine for your celebratory dinner. Then there was this amazing cocktail bar that had materialized right across the street from your restaurant and it wasn’t like either of you was tired. 

You’d been the one to make the move. You’d had a hunch that at some point, Kevin had developed a crush on you, something that had been put on ice during the time you’d been with Jey, but that had started to thaw in the time the two of you had been back to your old ways. You were two drinks into sampling what the cocktail bar had to offer when you’d dove in, smashing your mouth against his and pressing your tongue into his astonished mouth. The two of you had actually ordered a third round but had barely touched the glasses because you were all over each other, making out like horny teenagers before it occurred to you that you could just go back to your hotel and fuck like you were both so eager to do. 

And fuck you had. Everything between the bar and being in the hotel room naked was a blur, aside from the fact that you’d been going at it so heavily in the back seat of the cab that the driver got irritated and threatened to throw you out. You’d had a jubilant time throwing each other from one position to another and it seemed like Kevin had made you cum in every single one of them. And yet nothing had been so satisfying as looking at his face when he finally orgasmed, like every part of him, body and soul, released at once. You’d pretty much passed out together, embracing. 

When you saw him the next day at the Performance Center, he’d wrapped his arms around you and tried to kiss you in full view of other NXT and WWE personnel. You’d twisted away from him, unsure of what you wanted to do, but knowing you weren’t comfortable just having some new relationship in your life announced to the world without so much as a conversation. 

“Sorry,” Kevin had said, head bowed, “was that not ok?”

“No it wasn’t ok,” you responded tartly. “I never said we were a couple or anything. We fucked. We’re friends and we fucked once. That’s it.”

Kevin nodded but it looked more like his head was bobbling after a hard kick. He’d slunk away and the two of you hadn’t seen much of each other in the days since. You’d wanted to talk to him but it seemed like every time you got close to him, he’d run away or rush to the safety of a group of male friends. 

At first, you’d told yourself that you just wanted to tell him that you wanted things to go back to normal, but as you thought about things going back to normal, you realized that wasn’t what you wanted at all. Then, on the Friday night before TLC, looking at him as he staggered to the ring and declared to Roman Reigns that he’d take the WWE Universal Title or die trying, you’d realized that you were in love with him. You’d rushed to find him afterward but somehow, he’d eluded your grasp. But the thought remained at the front of your mind: you were completely in love with Kevin Owens. 

It had pained you seeing the beating that he took at the hands of Roman and Jey. In theory, Jey was attacking Kevin to ensure that Roman, the head of his tribe, won. In reality, you knew that Jey was dishing out extra punishment because he believed that you’d broken up with him for Kevin. Ok, you had to admit that maybe he’d picked up on something you hadn’t. But it killed you seeing Kevin suffer because of it. 

After the match, Kevin had once again eluded you, but that Friday, when he was helped away from his match, bleeding and bitter, you’d been waiting at the top of the ramp. You’d tagged along as they’d laid him onto the stretcher and attached an oxygen mask because they weren’t sure he was breathing properly on his own. And when the EMTs had asked if you were his significant other, you’d immediately nodded and jumped into the ambulance. Kevin had just enough time to look confused about your presence before the IV full of painkillers did its work and he slipped into blissful oblivion. 

They’d kept him medicated while they did various scans and scopes to evaluate the extent of the damage he’d suffered. And so, hours later, you were still perched at his side, waiting for him to come around. The doctor had insisted that he was better off asleep since that allowed him to rest and heal. You nodded in understanding, even as you imagined yourself shutting the IV drop off so that you could wake him up and let him know what you were feeling. 

You’d memorized every crack in the institutional-standard paint, every scratch on the tile floor, every nuance of the voice that periodically crackled over the loudspeaker, but you were determined that you were going to stay in place. You were going to tell Kevin Owens that you loved him the second he woke up and if he recoiled the way that you had when he’d tried to hug you. 

After about a hundred and thirty-eight years, his eyelids flutter and his brown eyes open, still glazed with drugs. It takes a couple of minutes before he registers where he is and who you are and what’s happened. 

“How bad is it?” he croaks, his throat crackling from dryness.

You pick up the plastic cup of water on the tray next to the bed and push the attached straw to his lips. He obediently sips, his eyes focusing on you as he recovers himself. 

“You took a lot of hits. You weren’t really up to the cage match. So it’s not great,” you inform him. 

He twists away from the straw and stares at the ceiling. 

“I’ll be fine,” he groans, his neck muscles tensing. “I always am.”

“Yeah, well you’re not going to be fine for a while. So just drink water and relax.”

“I don’t know why you’re here. You don’t need to feel guilty because your boyfriend fucked me up and fucked me over. You can go home.”

“He’s my ex-boyfriend. And I’m not here because of him. I’m here because of you.” You gulp, realizing that your moment has come. “Because I love you.”

Kevin grimaces and his eyes flit towards you but he angles his head away. 

He thinks you mean it like a friend, you guess. He doesn’t understand what you’ve just said. You grab his hand and pull yourself closer to him, so that you’re leaning halfway onto the narrow bed with him. 

“I love you, Kevin. And I’m sorry I was stupid when you tried to hug me and I’m sorry that I’ve been stupid and haven’t realized it before. But I really love you.”

He doesn’t say anything but he looks at you with an expression of innocence and surprise and he pulls on you a little so that you’re forced to crawl onto the bed with him.

“I’ve been sitting here for about eight hours trying to figure out some wonderful way to say this to you,” you whine. “But now my ass is asleep and my eyes are burning and I can’t think of any other thing to say. I love you. I don’t know how long I’ve felt this way and I don’t know why I never acted on it. I just need you to understand-”

“Ok, ok, I get it,” he says with a sigh. “You love me. That’s great. I love you too.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I’m the one who thought it meant something when we had sex, remember?”

“Hey,” you retort, placing your hand against his jaw and turning him to face you, “I did too. I just didn’t understand what it meant at first.”

Your lips come together softly and then urgently, until he twists away. 

“Ow,” he says, rubbing at his jaw. 

“Yeah, you definitely took a hit there.”

“You know, every time I hit Jey, I was thinking of you.”

“You know, everyone thinks you deserve to be the champion, but me most of all.”

Giving him a coquettish smile, you allow your hand to trail down to his thigh, curving towards the inner part. You can immediately feel a twitch from the one part of him that is definitely not injured. 

Sliding your hand under the thin fabric of his robe, you take hold of his member, already semi-erect, and begin stroking it, swirling your hand over the head and trailing your finger down the sensitive seam, reveling in the grunts and hums of pleasure this elicits from him. 

“What do you think you’re doing?!”

the sharp cry startles both of you enough that you sit up a little. The nurse, a middle-aged woman with wispy grey-brown hair pulled back from her care-worn face, stares furiously at both of you. 

“You can’t be doing anything like that,” she says sharply. “And you can’t just go climbing on the bed.”

Face burning, you slide back into your chair. 

“Now sir,” she says, haughtily turning her attention solely to Kevin and averting her gaze from the visible bulge under the thin bed sheet, “how would you describe your pain?”

“Painful,” Kevin quips, making you giggle a little. 

“On a scale of one to ten,” she snaps. 

“I’m a professional wrestler, so I’d say five was a normal day. Let’s call this a seven and a half.”

“So would you like the doctor to increase your dose of painkillers?”

“No,” he says thoughtfully. “I’d like the doctor to say it’s ok for my girlfriend to curl up in bed with me and take care of me.”

You smile broadly the second you hear him call you his girlfriend. 

The nurse rolls her eyes and walks away but as she does, both of you notice her covering her mouth to conceal how hard she’s laughing. Without even thinking, you clasp hands and as you watch her leave the room, you turn to look at each other. 

“You mean it?” you ask him. 

“Mean what?”

“That I’m your girlfriend.”

“Is there something else you wanna be?”

“I just want to be the woman you’re in love with and the one who you want to come home to.”

“Well that’s a given.”

You lean in and kiss his cheek. 

“Ow.”

“Sorry, I didn’t realize I hit a bruise.”

You let your lips trail over to his eyebrow and press a kiss there. 

“Ow.”

“I didn’t notice the cut,” you gush apologetically. 

He squeezes your hand and smiles at you, full of his incredible warmth, even though it’s tempered by the drugs he’s receiving. 

“Well I love you,” he sighs. “And don’t you worry. I’m about a half a CC of this juice from dragging you onto this bed and having my way with you.” 

You wind your hand and arm around his, so that you can pull him close enough for a kiss. 

“I hope they up your medication,” you murmur, “just so that I can make you relax while I show you everything I want to do to you.”

[novannna]

Perfect Imperfection’s Chapter 1

An Au where Nova never joined the Anarchists, instead she and Evie were adopted by Hugh and Simon.  Adrian blamed the Renegades for his mothers death, and he ran away to be raised by the Anarchists.  Nova and Adrian have switched places.  It starts at the beginning of Renegades.  

Let me know what you think!!!!(And if I should keep working on it)

Word count:2326

Ch.1 

Adrian watched the parade procession inch along, a sneer pasted on his face.  The streets were full of foolish people, idiots who put their fate in the hands of the Renegades.  The loud band marched along, and a chorus of boos and insults reached Adrians ears.  The villains' floats had arrived.  Grotesque imitations of fallen anarchists graced the floats.  Adrian felt offended as he watched the spectators hurl insults and rotten food at the actors upon the vehicles.  While he personally had not known those anarchists well, it still stung watching people hate them so violently.  They didn’t know anything.  

“And so it begins,” Ingrid's dry voice crackled through his earpiece.  

“Let them laugh.  They won’t be laughing for much longer.   Sketch, are you in position?” Phobia asked.  

“Yeah.  I just need to know which rooftop you want me on.”

“The council hasn’t left the warehouse yet.  I will alert you once they do.”  

Adrian glanced back at the parade.  His lip twitched.  “How do people put so much trust in the Renegades?  It's repulsive.”  His lip twitched.

Ingrid snickered.  “Easy.  They’re all idiots.  Just blend in.  Remember your training.”

“I know,” Adrian sighed.  “But much more of this, and I might puke!”  

“Remember the mission, Sketch.  We have too much to lose if this goes wrong,” Phobia said.  

“Is that…”  Oh my holy bomb squad, they have a Queen Bee this year.”  Adrian glanced up.  Sure enough, a woman dressed in a sleazy sequined dress and an enormous blonde wig stood on the float.  She clutched a large stuffed bumble bee to her chest and was wailing about something.  Wet mascara ran down her cheeks.  

“That isn’t far off,” Adrian snickered.  “It's a pretty damn good impression.”  

“I can’t wait to tell Honey,” said Ingrid.  “We should be recording this.”  

“Are you offended they don’t have a Detonator?” He asked.  

“Well, I am now,” she responded.  

Just then, a loud crashing sound came from the parade.  Adrian glanced up to see Ace Anarchy emerge from Merchant tower, cackling.  The actor wore the same costume as Ace, as well as the familiar helmet.  

Adrian felt rage rush through him, and he bit down a snarl.  

“Relax Sketch.  We’re doing this for him, remember?” Ingrid said.  

“Right.  For him.”  

A body crashed into Adrian, and he tripped forwards.  A number of heads glanced towards him, and he cringed down.  

“Watch where you're going,” he told the person.  A small girl wearing a Dread Warden mask looked up at him.  He righted her up, and she muttered sorry, then raced away.  Adrian turned back to the parade.   

“What was that, Sketch?”  Ingrid asked.  He didn’t respond.  In the corner of his eye, Adrian saw the girl crash into someone else.  Instead of correcting her, the girl tackled her and put her into a headlock.  She dragged her, kicking and screaming to Adrian.  

Give it back,” she said.  The girl had short black hair and electric blue eyes.  Her voice had a slight rasp to it.  

“Put me down!  Let me go!”  The little girl yelled.  

Adian looked around to see a number of people watching them, concerned.  That wasn’t good.  “What are you doing?   Put her down!”  He tried to quell the panic rising up.  The girl smiled at Adrian, and he felt his mouth go dry.  His heart thumped loudly in his chest.  

“All right, Evie.  You’ve got three seconds to hand it over before I report you.  And I know you don’t want that,” She said in a patronizing tone.  The girl scowled fiercely.  

“I hate you.”  She dropped something into the other girls palm.  

“I’ll see you later.”  She let the thief go.  “And if I hear from anyone that you’ve been stealing, you’ll be in so much trouble.”  The girl stuck out her tongue, then darted off.  

“Here you are,” the girl said to Adrian.  He warily extended his hand.  She dropped a small golden locket into his palm.  His hand went to the space on his neck where it usually hung.  

“What?  How did she get that?”  He asked, reaching around his neck.  

“Sketch, what's happening?”  Ingrid's voice asked in his ear.  He ignored it.  

“Do you want help with that?”  The girl asked.  “Here, let me.”  Before he could respond, she was already clipping it around his neck.  

“Uh, thanks,” Adrian said.  

“No problem.”  the girl winced.  “Shit!  The clasp is broken.  Evie, you’re in so much trouble!”

Adrian reached for it back, but the girl stopped him.  “It's okay, I can fix it.”

“No, you don’t understand, it's my moms.  You can’t..it's not-” He started, but the girl shushed him.  

“No, don’t worry.”  She slipped something out of her pocket.  She bent her head over the necklace, her bangs hiding her face.  She stood back up and presented Adrian the necklace, the clasp fully fixed.  It even looked the same.  

“How did you do that?” Adrian asked, impressed.  

“A new tool I designed.  It can scan an object and replicate whatever part is missing.”  She smiled proudly.  “It’s still a prototype, but it works pretty damned well.”  Before Adrian could stop her, she clasped the necklace around his neck.  The locket was a familiar weight against his neck, and he relaxed slightly.  

“Adrian, are you compromised?” Ingrid’s voice barked into his ear.  He winced.  

The girl was saying something, but Adrian didn’t hear her. A bout of cheers and clapping surged through the crowd.  

“Looks like the councils here.”

Adrian nodded.  “Looks like it.”  He tried his hardest to keep the distaste out of his voice.  

“Sketch, west station,” Phobias voice said in his ear.   

Adrian snapped to attention.  “On it.”  He turned around and started to jog away.  

“Your welcome,” the girl called out after him.  He ignored her.  Someone shoved a flyer into his hand and he crumpled it into a ball and stuffed it into his pocket without bothering to look at it.  He ducked into an alleyway and grabbed his backpack from behind the dumpster.  

“Sketch, what is your status?”  Phobia asked.  

“Grabbing my stuff.  I’ll be up on the roof in a minute.”

“Hurry.  You have a superhero to kill.”  

---

Nova watched her dads wave at the cheering fans and smiled.  It felt good to be able to celebrate something for the first time in a while.  For the first time in what felt like forever, Nova was happy.  Most people had finally stopped treating her like some pariah, just because she was related to Ace Anarchy.  Her family was happy, so she was happy.  And she had a lot of new tech that was successful. 

Although, she was absolutely pissed at Evie.  Why the hell did her sister have to go around, stealing from everyone.  She didn’t need the money, she did it for the fun of it. Nova scowled thinking about it.  Oh she was going to have some serious words with her.  Her mind wandered back to the boy from earlier.  The one with the locket.  He had seemed so nervous and twitchy.  He reminded Nova of a dog a little.  Sweet, but hesitant.  Nova smiled thinking about him.

The happiness turned to chaos in seconds.  Nova watched a bullet whiz through the air, heading right toward her dad.  Nova held her breath as it snapped against his metal skin, a hair's breadth from his eye. The council snapped to attention, commanding the crowd to remain calm, telling them that everything was fine.  Nova could see a small dark form on the rooftop, a swarm of monarch butterflies hovering around it. Her wristband buzzed.  A message from Oscar to the team.  

Sketch spotted on top of buildings across from the parade.  Red Assassin, Monarch and I are engaging.  Back up may be needed.  

Nova grinned, despite the chaos surrounding.  A perfect opportunity to test her new tech.  A compact suit with several added benefits.  She ducked into a nearby ally.  She zipped her jacket up all the way and pulled the hood over her head.  It hissed and the fabric pulled back, revealing metal underneath.  The metal slid along her body on invisible hinges, moving until it completely enveloped her.  A visor covered her face, darkening the world around her slightly.  A bright red R was emblazoned on the chest.  

Nova bounced up and down gently.  She went almost five feet into the air, and came down without a sound.  

“Anti-gravity works,” she said to herself.  “What else does?”  She held out her fist and squeezed her hand tight.  Flames roared out, turning an old crate to ashe.  

“Fire works.”  She looked down at the metal covering her hand.  “And not even scorch marks.  Yay!”  Nova grinned behind her mask.  She bent down, then leapt upwards.  The suit carried her all the way to the rooftop where she rolled to a halt.  Nova backed up a tiny bit, then started to run.  She gathered enough momentum to jump across the gap between buildings.  

She let out a whoop.  

“Hell yeah!” she screamed.  It felt almost as if she was flying.  She jumped across rooftops to the building she could see her team fighting Sketch on.  Nova landed in front of him.  She looked around to see Ruby crumpled in a heap on the ground.  Danna stood not too far away with blood covering her leg.  

“You must be new around here,” Sketch said.  

She tilted her head.  “I’ve been around long enough to know who you are.. Sketch.”  

He smiled up at her behind his mask.  “Should I be flattered?”

A loud cackling blasted through the air and both Nova and Sketch turned to look for its source.  

“What is that idiot doing here?”  Sketch grimaced.  A hot air balloon floated through the streets, the bright green anarchist ‘A’ painted on it.  The Puppeteer stood in the basket, his head tilted back.  He let out another bout of manic laughter, his crazy orange hair tangling around his head.  

“Oh reeeenegades,” he sang.  “Doesn’t anyone want to play with me?”  Screams echoed from far below.  “Eeny, meeny,miny...mo!”  Golden strings cascaded down from his fingertips.  Nova knew that several innocent children had just been possessed by the Puppeteers' powers.

“Tag!  You’re it!”  He screamed.  “Friends of yours?” He asked Sketch.  

Sketch looked at Nova.  “Not really.”  He threw something at Nova and it expanded midair.  A net wrapped itself around her, pinning her limbs to her body.  “Nice to meet you,” he said, and started to jog away.  Nova snarled.  

“Not so fast.”  She wrapped her fist around the rope and it began to burn away, the acrid smell of smoke filling the air.  

“Another fire elemental.  How quaint.  Not exactly a rare breed, but it's hard to criticise a classic.”  

Nova snarled and launched herself at him.  Her suit carried her all the way to him.  He backed away, surprised.  “You can’t escape me, Sketch.  I’m taking you into custody and you will answer for your crimes.”  

“Lovely as that sounds, I actually had other plans for the afternoon.”  A shadow passed over them and Nova looked up to see butterflies converging into Monarch.  

“Who are you?” she asked Nova.  

“I am the Sentinel,” she responded, puffing her chest out a tiny bit.  

Sketch burst out laughing.  “Seriously?”  Nova felt slightly insulted by his reaction.   She had thought it sounded like a cool name.  

“Friends of yours?”  Danna asked.  

“I’m really not that friendly,” Sketch responded.  “Beside’s, she’s wearing your trademark.”  Danna glared suspiciously at Nova.  

Sketch lashed out at Danna with a red knife, one Ruby must have made.  Danna turned into butterflies before he could hurt her, only losing a single butterfly.  Nova lunged forwards and wrapped her arms tightly around Sketch.  He tried to get free, but Nova was too strong.  He shoved them both backwards and they tumbled off the roof and landed on another one.  Nova winced as she fell onto a small fountain, stone cracking beneath their weight.  

“Hey Sentinel,” Sketch said.  Nova turned towards him, and he drove Ruby’s knife into her shoulder.  She roared with pain and held out her fist, too mad to think before she blasted him with fire.  He ducked and the flames went right over him and struck, to Nova’s horror, a large cluster of orange and black butterflies.  She heard a scream of pain and watched the insects merge into Danna.  Her uniform was blackened from ribs to her hip. 

“Monarch?” A voice asked.  Nova looked over to see Oscar pull himself onto the roof.  

“Help her,” Nova screamed.  

“Who the hell are you?” he yelled back.  

Nova ignored him and turned back to Sketch.  He was running towards the edge of the roof, trying to get to the Puppeteers balloon.

“You have a tagalong,” the Puppeteer said to Sketch.  Nova reached him and wrapped her fingers around his throat.  

“You tried to assassinate Captain Chromium,” she growled. “Why?  Who put you up to it?  What else are they planning?”  She was completely filled up with rage.  

“You Renegades sure ask a lot of questions.” he said.  

“You better answer them,” Nova snarled.  

“You think I’m afraid of a pompous neophyte in a toy suit? He asked incredulously.  

“Neophyte?”  She asked.  

He sighed.  “It means amatuer.  You're obviously new to this game.”  Nova’s fingers loosened slightly. 

“I know what it-- argh!”  She stomped her foot. “Look, I don’t really care whether or not you’re afraid of me, but I’m willing to bet you're at least a little bit afraid of dying, like we all are.”  She tightened her fingers.  

He wheezed slightly.  “You know what they say… one cannot be brave who has no fear.”  Nova started, giving him enough time to wiggle free.  He brought his fist around and struck Nova in the head.  The impact knocked her down and her vision dimmed.  She blinked once.. Twice.. The third time though, her eyes stayed shut.  

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Ramblings and crazy theory time about GK chap 237 “Underwater Breath-Holding Contest”

And after a chapter which gave us precious info about Sugimoto’s past we get again one that’s more action oriented, although from it we could still get some info.

For who’s wondering the ‘Kiss of Life’ is merely a trope.

Anyway, back to the story.

While Boutarou talks with the passengers, Sugimoto and Shiraishi talk about what to do… without bothering to involve Asirpa. Really, somehow they feel more disjunted than usual as a group, out of late.

Shiraishi points out that according to what Boutarou has said, the guy might have already discovered where the gold is hidden.

Sugimoto counters that Boutarou had however admitted knowing where to search isn’t enough to find the gold.

Shiraishi asks him what they should do in regard to the rumor about how useless it would be to collect the tattooed skins. Sugimoto, after a moment of hesitation, insist they should keep on gathering them.

This is a good moment to point out that keeping on gathering the tattooed skins brings up the following consequences:

- they’ve to hunt dangerous convicts that are all but willing to hand them their skins and might try to kill them

- they might end up killing said convicts

- they have as rivals to get the surviving convicts the Tsurumi group and the Hijikata group who also want the skins

- they will have to fight them anyway as both groups have part of the skins so if they want to get them all they’ve to steal from the others the skins they have

- the others will try to hunt them for the skins they own

- in the process they can also lose Asirpa who’s also hunted because she knows how to solve the code

- it will take them much more time

- they don’t know how many skins the others have so they’ve no idea when the convicts will all be found

In short, if collecting the skins is useless, pursuing them means only getting themselves in unnecessary danger and unnecessarily murdering people. In short is a bad combination that both Wakayama and Boutarou, seasoned criminals who don’t hesitate in killing people, rejected.

It’s beyond stupid to pursue the tattooed skins if there’s nothing to gain from them, Wakayama and Boutarou were intelligent enough to figure it out and stop. Wakayama gave up completely, Boutarou was smart and capable enough to devise a plan B as he didn’t intend to give up on the gold even if he understood plan A wasn’t worth being pursued.

So why Sugimoto, who’s not bloodthirsty and doesn’t want to put his friends in danger, wants to keep on chasing them?

Well, probably exactly for this reason.

Accepting that hunting the skins is useless means accepting what he did for more than a year was useless. He wasted time, he put his friends in danger, he murdered people ALL FOR NOTHING.

Sugimoto could likely accept doing it when the game was worth the candle, when the outcome would provide him much more benefits. But if all he had gone through was for nothing… well, how hard it becomes to swallow all this?

He has wasted time, he has suffered, he had murdered, he had almost lost Asirpa and it was all useless, a mistake.

For Boutarou and Wakayama it was easy to pull back, they had, at the time, invested too little in this, but Sugimoto had bet everything over how, if he were to collect all the skins, he would get the gold. While the clever thing would be to pull out like Boutarou and Wakayama had done, Sugimoto’s psyche is likely fighting it with all its strength, so that’s likely why he wants to reject the rumor and keep on going that way even if everything is starting to tell him it’s a wrong choice.

Shiraishi doesn’t pressure him, but suggests to pretend to ally with Boutarou and see how things will go.

Sadly this implies they can always betray and skin Boutarou later as there is no genuine wish to join hands in them, it’s just a situation of convenience.

And this is a good moment to remind everyone in this story there’s not a side who is with justice, that will be honest, that won’t betray an alliance. This isn’t ‘Saint Seiya’, here everyone is for himself and it’s meaningful that Noda presented Sugimoto as the first to break alliances, first the one with Asirpa, when in chap 14 decided to break their partnership without even telling her, thinking it’s for the better if you want, but still acting arbitrarily and leaving her on her own without even considering she might not just drop the search just because he’s not there but keep it up on her own and then with Tsurumi in chap 19 when he tricked him into giving him medical help in exchange for the skins.

Having the main character do this is our hint NO ONE is obliged to keep a deal, that all the deals are done out of self interest and can be broken exactly when interest conflict.

However, as Shiraishi and Sugimoto are thinking they can only pretend to join hands with him and then betray Boutarou later, Boutarou has found Heita’s skin, his cigarette case and the note with the rivers from which the gold came as well as his name, all hidden in Sugimoto’s backpack.

From this it’s easy for him to assume that no, despite what they had said, Shiraishi and Sugimoto didn’t come to his same idea as him by chance but murdered Heita and, from what they found on him, they came up with the same plan… or, more probably, they were trying to use the info they got to find and skin him the way they had done with Heita… and he’s not wrong because this was part of the plan and we know still is.

So Boutarou collect his accomplice and prepare himself to deal with Sugimoto and Shiraishi.

He tells in a cheerful tone (look at his balloons and how they aren’t just oval shaped but they look like small clouds) they’re about to reach Ebetsu and asks them again if they want to join forces with him. He then asks them if they know how much the gold is, if they believe it’s 75 kg as it was told to the prisoners. Then he tells them that the Ainu old man told him the amount of gold has to be much more, as it was put up in a huge pile of deerskin bags.

The info is interesting but again it opens the question of how they managed to move it all. It would have taken a lifetime for Wilk to do it on his own, if he did it with the Ainu who were killed, who supposedly weren’t that young (they included Ariko’s father and the brother of an old man), it would be better yet still be a big work.

I wonder if they used water to transport it as it would allow them to move it farther with more ease and speed than, let’s say, a carriage.

Too bad I find unlikely they could connect the place in which the gold was and the place in which they wanted the gold to end with water pipes in which they could just pour the dust and let the water do all the job of carring it from a place to another.

Still they could probably put it on boats, to move it far away from where it was. It’s still a big work though for few men who might not be that young anymore.

Oh well, when we’ll get an idea of the place in which the gold was, we might get hints on how it was moved.

Anyway Sugimoto at this confirmation that the gold is a huge amount sweats with a small smile while Shiraishi has an ecstatic air.

And they both react likely like Boutarou wanted, so caught up in this information that they lower their guard, all lost in their little world of how they’ll become rich and are caught completely on surprise when Boutarou tells them it’s a pity he can’t pursue his dream together with them, his accomplice pointing his gun at them from behind them.

Luckily for them there’s Asirpa who, having been cut out from adults’ conversations, had thought well to go back check Sugimoto’s luggage which had been left open and had realized Boutarou should have seen Heita’s cigarette case in it, as the case is now out of the bag.

Asirpa is no fool nor blinded by gold and immediately understood if Boutarou has seen the cigarette case and pulled it out, he should have also seen what it contained and Heita’s skin and would be less amicable with them than previously.

So, as Boutarou’s accomplice is about to shoot them, she throws one of her arrows to the gun, causing the tip of it to slide between the cylinder and the lower part of the frame, effectively blocking the cylinder from rotating and therefore rendering the gun unable to shoot.

So again Asirpa saves the day, after saving the day the chapter before. Really, as I said in a post long ago, when in troubles call her, she’s the most reliable to save the day.

As Peter Venkman would say ‘She came, she saw, she kicked their asses!’

Asirpa is great, that’s it.

A fight ensues… or better it would have ensued if the captain hadn’t rotate the ship’s wheel and caused it to move on a different track, a track that brought it close to the tree, causing their branches to basically sweep the bridge and send Sugimoto, Boutarou and Boutarou’s accomplice in the water, Shiraishi having the good sense to toss himself on the ground because Shiraishi is awesome like that and not enough apprecciated.

Boutarou’s accomplice… well, at a first glance I thought he ends up hitting his head against the waterwheel… but it can be he actually ended up being sucked by it as we see blood spraying out of it and then he starts drowning again, one of his legs bent to an odd angle and his body bleeding heavily.

So really it could have been much more gruesome than him just hitting his head... and I’ve to admit Noda toned down the gruesome scenes if I compare Golden Kamuy to when it started. I mean... Tamai’s face or lack thereoff is something I think people will remember for a long time... or do we want to talk of Noma hung on a tree with his intestines trailing down of it?

Sugimoto sees the scene but Boutarou is immediately behind him, grabs him and starts pulling him deeper underwater.

It’s worth to remember not only water is Boutarou’s element, in which he moves much better and much faster than Sugimoto but that he can hold his breath much longer than a common human so Sugimoto is hugely at disadvantage here. Boutarou was also very clever in this.

Not only he placed himself behind Sugimoto, making harder for the latter to hit him, but grabbed his left wrist, making difficult for Sugimoto to swing the bayonet he was holding with his left hand.

If anything Boutarou’s mistake was he didn’t manage to also grab Sugimoto’s right wrist but only the sleeve of his right coat, leaving him some measure of movement with his right hand.

Meanwhile outside Shiraishi asks Asirpa if she can swims… but it turns out she can do it only as long as she can touch with her feet. I wonder if this too will become a plot point or it’s just random info.

Anyway, wanting to help Sugimoto, our brave and awesome Shiraishi tosses himself in the water.

Meanwhile Sugimoto manages to grab with his partially free right hand the bayonet and tries to hit Boutarou with it. Boutarou let him go and, from Sugimoto’s face, we can see he’s pretty short of air, bubbles escaping from his mouth and nose and eyes open wide.

Boutarou grabs his foot, pulling him down again as Sugimoto waves desperately his arms and more air escapes from his mouth and nose.

At this point Shiraishi appears and grabs Sugimoto’s face.

Shiraishi is weak and can’t fight Boutarou so he planned to use the mouth-to-mouth breathing technique so as to give Sugimoto air and allow him to keep on fighting.

It’s a plan, it normally won’t work that easily in life but in manga and anime it hardly fails.

Sugimoto though, tries to push Shiraishi away and also moves his face away, causing Shiraishi to miss his mouth when he tries to give him air and then, for good measure, Sugimoto hits Shiraishi, the blow causing Shiraishi to partially lose consciousness and starts floating away, toward the air, stopping him from further attempting to give air to Sugimoto.

Overall I get the whole thing is played for fun, from the mouth-to-mouth breathing that can be viewed as a kiss to Sugimoto’s reaction. I’m not really amused though as it’s overall stupid.

Sure, normally this sort of things work solely in tv shows and manga/comics but Sugimoto is depicted as desperately needing air so he should have been extremely cooperative in the whole thing (have you ever tried drowning? You won’t be picky, you’ll literally kill to get air) because otherwise he could very well die, and harming Shiraishi might have caused him to drown as well, instead than do them any good.

I get that due to the rule of funny they would obviously both survive and that Sugimoto could pull out of his hammerspace new air without the need of Shiraishi’s help but really, I would have preferred if this fight between two cool guys was kept serious after Boutarou’s accomplice died in such a gruesome way. Sure, maybe Noda wanted the humor to make us forger exactly that but… well, as far as I’m involved it didn’t work.

Of course maybe it’s just me, not everyone must react the same to a joke.

Anyway, while Boutarou keeps pulling him down, Sugimoto losing more air from his mouth when the rule of cool comes to his rescue in form giant sturgeons deciding to swim close to them so that Sugimoto can... hum... yell so as to waste more air from his mouth (is he trying to say he’s immortal?)...

stab his bayonet in a fish and have it drag him away.

But it’s not like the fish swims toward the air and Boutarou doesn’t let go of Sugimoto’s foot while Sugimoto instead let go of more air and it’s only a mix of rule of funny and rule of cool that keeps him still perfectly aware and strong enough to hold onto his bayonet because everyone else at this point would have had his lugs completely filled with water, lost consciousness and drowned.

But I guess Noda realized one could pull this on only for so long.

Boutarou should have more ability to hold his breath underwater than Sugimoto, so keeping this up either undermines this because Sugimoto is faring way too well for someone who shouldn’t have even half of Boutarou’s ability or Noda would need to end this with Sugimoto finally drowning due to lack of air.

So, since Noda can’t kill Sugimoto but Sugimoto can’t get out of water to get air nor can beat Boutarou underwater, Noda decided to have luck save Sugimoto again this time not in form of giant fishes but in form of Boutarou’s long hair getting trapped in the waterwheel, pulling him to it.

I think the idea is that if Boutarou doesn’t free himself, this time he’ll either drown or, more likely, will end up making the same end of his nameless accomplice.

In fact, while Sugimoto manages to pull his head out of water and breathe, with Asirpa’s obvious relief, things take a turn for worse for Boutarou as his body is starting to get trapped in the waterwheel.

At this Noda shows us Sugimoto. I think the idea is that this means Sugimoto knows what’s happening to Boutarou and now he has to decide if he has to let him die or do something.

Meanwhile things are getting worse for Boutarou as he’s starting to lose air from his mouth and…

and that’s the moment Suggimoto cuts his hair free, saving him and probably willing, if not his loyalty, his possible cooperation.

Boutarou liked him already and likely attacked him only in self defense, because correctly figured out Sugimoto was out there for his skin and, like Sugimoto, he preferred to kill than to be killed.

They’re similar in many things those two and I like to think Sugimoto didn’t merely save him to get info but also because he felt a kinship through their similar pasts.

Honestly I would love for those two to become friends, Boutarou has a different cheeriness from Shiraishi, while Shiraishi is cheery because he doesn’t worry, Boutarou is positive but he’s also practical, a good thinker and tries to go for the best outcome. I think he could bring something good to the group.

Of course it always loom in his back the fact that Vasily, thinking he’s an enemy, might shoot him down. We’ll see.

Then, while a box gives us some info, we see that the rule of funny ensured, as expected, Shiraishi’s survival… but I kind of have the feeling this played again like the final page of chap 211. Shiraishi got the short end of the stick and no one cares as it was supposed to be ‘fun’.

Oh well, he was given the role of comedic relief so I guess not much can be done but I’m still sorry for him. He tried to help the way he could and his attempt was rejected, with Sugimoto putting him in danger only to make readers laugh. Honestly I think Shiraishi deserves more apprecciation but it might be just me.

[anthropologicalhands]

ceg fic: miss do it right

title: miss do it right gift for: @clemdhoffryn for @crazyexvalentine word count: 4,885 summary: Valencia is ready to propose to Beth. The question, however, of when and where requires expert advice. Valencia & Heather, Beth/Valencia. notes: Happy Valentine’s Day!

~

“I need your help,” Valencia announces, breezing into Heather and Hector’s foyer, straight into the living room and perching on the arm of the couch adjacent to Heather’s current seat. “Also you really need to get a gardener—that trellis is leaning over.”

“Hector’s getting around to it,” says Heather, looking up from her magazine. “Hi, welcome back to West Coast, Best Coast or whatever. Didn’t I tell you to start texting if you were gonna come over?”

“I told you I was planning a wedding this weekend,” Valencia says archly, as if the mere statement of fact automatically absolves her of visitor’s etiquette. “Remember? In the group chat?”

“Oh, I remember. I just kind of generally assumed it was in New York. Since you do, you know, live there.”

Valencia pouts. “Come on, aren’t we hashtag gurlgroup4evah? Physical walls are meaningless. And I totally gave you a key to my place. You could do the same exact same thing to me and I wouldn’t mind.”

“That argument worked when you were in East Cameron, not East Coast. When am I ever gonna go to New York?”

“For me, obviously,” says Valencia. “Or for a Home Base conference, I guess.”

“They’re a West Coast chain.”

“So? Weren’t you planning on revolutionizing their corporate headquarters, or something?”

“I was, but that’s like, halfway through my five-year plan that I’m going to start next year.”

“Oh. Are you really not happy to see me?” asks Valencia, and she sounds just a tiny bit deflated, like she’s actually worried that that’s the case. Heather drops her magazine on the side table (occasionally, she marvels at how adulthood came upon her so fast—these have mermaid feet, irony unintended, that make her ridiculously happy).

“I’m happy to see you, Vee, can’t you tell?”

Valencia narrows her eyes. “Usually you’re happier.”

“You literally just walked in when I wasn’t expecting you for three weeks. Let me have a reaction time. And given your stance on Hector is lukewarm at best I’m still surprised to see you here.”

“I follow Hector on Instagram, and I happen to know that he has a surfing competition in Monterey this weekend,” says Valencia knowingly. “And I definitely know that you are always down for adventures, especially if there is just the right amount of drama.” Valencia wiggles her shoulders for emphasis.

Heather leans forward, studying her friend. There’s something surprisingly spiky and Rebecca-like about her energy –not out of whack, not in a bad way, but it’s there.

“Everything all right, Vee?” Heather asks. “You’re weirdly hyped up. Are you on a Guatemalan coffee kick again?”

“Please, you know I’m on a kombucha cleanse right now.”

“Kombucha can do all this?” Heather gestures up and down Valencia, like her “this” is the new “it” and she’s Clara Bow. 

(Heather took a film class for like, three weeks in freshman year before she dropped it for being insanely pretentious.)

Annoyed, Valencia swats Heather’s hand away—all right, she’s not too far gone.

Valencia gives an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “No, it’s not the kombucha. It’s something way more important.”

There is a very meaningful pause; Heather waits, unsure whether it is done out of Valencia’s natural sense of making an entrance or for Heather’s benefit is a sincere question.

“I’m going to ask Beth to marry me.”

“Oh,” Heather blinks. “Wow.”

It’s not an unexpected announcement and given with Valencia’s usual careless confidence. But there is trepidation there, if one knows how to look for it.

“Does it seem weird? Tell me if it’s weird.”

“Uh, not weird, no,” says Heather carefully. “But given what happened a few months ago, I have to ask…”

“Yeah, we’ve been talking about it,” says Valencia irritably, waving a hand. “We’re on the same page. But I want it to be right, and I need help to make that happen.”

“Okay. And you’re asking me because…”

“Because Rebecca has a lot going on, and while I love the girl, I need someone who won’t let me get carried away with something way out of my budget.”

“That makes sense,” Heather agrees. “What about Paula?”

“She has that big case she’s presenting on Monday, and she doesn’t know Beth as well as you do.”

“True. That afternoon at the Korean spa means we’re bonded for life now, united by a great and terrible event.”

“You loved it. Didn’t you feel all nice and fresh?”

“Only because I had to grow a whole new layer of skin. I’m amazed Beth liked it; she was completely pink.”

“I mean, that happens if she steps out in the sun for five minutes without a hat,” says Valencia fondly. “But I’m not asking you to climb into a sauna, I’m asking you to help me propose to my girlfriend. Will you do it?”

“I mean, obviously. I’m a total romantic, so of course I’ll help.”

Valencia’s forehead wrinkles in a very pointed way. “You got married because of health insurance. I just need someone to tell me if I’m getting out of bounds with like, budget and expectations.”

“Wanting your partner to be healthy for the long run is very romantic.”

“Not enough to try to skip the actual wedding part,” grumbles Valencia.

“Who is asking who for help getting married, again?”

“Fair,” concedes Valencia grudgingly, though her smile undercuts some of her pretense. She kicks herself up and off the couch and gestures imperiously at Heather. “Now come on, we need to get going if we don’t want to be late.”

“Uh, we? Where?”

I have a vineyard in Temecula to make sure it is an ideal venue for my client, remember? We can multitask on the drive up.”

“Uh, now?”

“Why not?” With a flourish, Valencia pulls out a notebook that is already crammed full of post-its and other notes. “You can look at this on the way up. Plus, I can guarantee that we can ask to sample some of their viticultural offerings.”

“Well, when you put it like that.” Heather stands and stretches. “I did have a busy afternoon planned for contemplating my existence, but I’ll move for free wine.”

~

Valencia’s planner, much like her initial dream wedding plans, is elaborately and meticulously tabbed. Leafing through the pages, Heather briefly recognizes one of the strange commonalities between Valencia and Rebecca that reminds her that, as strange as the beginning of that friendship was, there’s a reason that their bond is as strong as it is. Valencia drives. It gives her a weird burst of fondness for them.

“You really thought these out,” says Heather, reading through a meticulous list of what it would take to plan a flash mob in Times Square with a reasonable budget. 

“Right? I mean, I have ideas for days. It’s what I do—dolling up other people’s bad ideas and persuading them that mine are better. I can do this forever.”

“Great. So, why do you need me?”

Valencia’s fingers drum against the wheel of her rental car, clearly annoyed. “Because I’ve been striking out. Like, these are objectively great proposal ideas, right? But I can’t decide which one is actually, like, the best one.”

“I can see that,” says Heather, eyebrows shooting up when she turns a page and sees an elaborate plan for a hot air balloon proposal scribbled out with angry red marker. “What are you looking for, then?”

“Something that speaks to both of us. Like, as awesome as my spacing is for the choreo, I know that Beth wouldn’t want a flash mob in Times Square.”

“Yeah, that seems like a you thing. A pretty specific you thing.” Heather shoots her an inquiring look. “Did you?”

Valencia shifts uncomfortably. “There was a time where I might have mentioned it to Josh.”

“Wow.”

“Hey, Josh is terrible, but if he choreographed a dance proposal, it would have been amazing.”

“Can’t argue with that.” One of the pages just seems to be a froth of white lace paper surrounding a list of names at its center. Heather squints at the neat penmanship, idly wondering if she needs glasses or if Valencia’s handwriting is just really that small. “Is this a guest list?”

“No. I also really always wanted to do it at someone else’s wedding. Preferably Denise Martinez’s—”

“Valencia…”

“But that’s also not Beth’s style,” finishes Valencia slightly irritated. “Like I said, the proposal has to match both of us. I did learn from my mistakes, you know.”

“I’m not saying you didn’t,” says Heather mildly.

“And that list is out of date anyways. Denise got married last month and I hear that her and her new husband are already fighting.”

“Don’t sound so gleeful.”

“Sorry,” says Valencia almost contritely, merging off the highway. “We have a long history.”

“So I heard. We definitely need to unpack that some time.”

~

“Oh, this is perfect,” Valencia breathes, overlooking the gently rolling hills and the rows of twining grapevines.

“It’s pretty great,” Heather agrees, coming up besides her, hands tucked in her pockets. “It’s practically worth the sticker price.”

“Nothing’s worth the sticker price. I’ll get a better deal.”

“That winery owner guy seemed pretty stodgy.”

“I have my ways,” says Valencia enigmatically, which both impresses and concerns Heather in equal measures. 

“I don’t doubt it.” There’s a pause as they survey the scenery together. 

“Why wouldn’t you propose to Beth here?” 

“Hm?” Valencia turns to look at Heather, the arch of her eyebrows more inquiring than sharp.

“You and Beth. I mean, this place makes a wicked rosé—”

“Since when do you use wicked? That’s an East Coast word.”

“’Cause it’s a great word? And I’m from Michigan, which is kind of East Coast.”

Valencia pulls a face.

Heather rolls her eyes in response. “Whatever. But seriously, this seems ideal. It has a view, it’s romantic—it’s everything you wanted. And you and Beth have family here, so you can have a big party after she says yes.”

“It has a lot,” agrees Valencia wistfully. Then she sighs. “But it won’t work.”

“Why not?”

“Josh and I used to come here. Too many memories.”

“Oh.”

“Right? Josh just ruins everything.”

“Okay, it’s been three years, I think you can lay off of Josh.”

“Nah. I’ve dedicated too much time into it. I’m going to be doing this until after we’re both married. Speaking of Josh, you’ve met Rosa, right?”

“Yeah. I like her. I didn’t know that you met her—”

“Oh, yeah. Nice girl,” says Valencia, sounding vaguely surprised. Given Josh’s previous type, Heather can’t entirely blame her. Valencia continues, “But for whatever reason, they work well together. We had a long talk - I warned her about all of his flaws, and she said that she knows and she was positive she could handle it. Then she complimented my earrings.”

Heather has to smile at that. She is the least well-acquainted with Josh of their friends (though she’s probably seen him in far more intimate situations than most people ever have to see their friends), so her personal frustrations with him tended to be from far briefer interactions, over much more quickly. She’s glad to see that Josh seems settled in a way that he hasn’t been since she’s known him.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” admits Valencia, softening a little. “I am actually happy for him. But I have to keep up appearances - we were together way too long.”

“That’s fair.”

~

Once the vineyard has been approved (and Valencia has worn down the owner to her terms), they head back to Heather’s place, open a couple extra bottles of rosé and buckle down.

“Too much hassle,” says Valencia, X-ing out what seems to be a plan for a private yacht.

“Too showy,” agrees Heather, marking off a flashing billboard. She turns the page and squints at a picture of a dark room lit by hundreds of tiny flames.

“Isn’t Beth allergic to those candles?” she asks.

“They would be soy,” Valencia protests, but rather hastily reaches across the page to mark it out. “Still, you have a point.”

“That’s also a fire hazard, right there.”

“I’m not Rebecca,” says Valencia irritably.

 “That’s still a lot of open flames. I’m just saying. Why not just go Big Fish and propose with a bunch of flowers?”

“I can’t. Beth’s allergic to flowers.”

Heather blinks.

“Seriously?”

Valencia shrugs. “Look, there’s a reason she hired me to do certain events that she couldn’t. She’s all about the hands-on activities. Pollen and natural phenomena - not so much.”

“Got it. So Big Fish is totally out?”

“Totally.”

~

Despite what Heather expected and the width and breadth of the notebook, they are burning through the ideas in the planner at an alarming rate. Valencia is clearly panicking too, if the two glasses of rosé are any indication.

“You know what would be great? The Met! Yeah, you could hide behind one of the exhibits to record, we’re surrounded by all this history, I’m sure they have something by Sappho in there, Beth loves her stuff—”

“Okay, just so we’re setting reasonable expectations or whatever, I can tell you right now that I am not going to New York just to help you propose,” Heather warns. “I have like, a household budget, and there’s only so much that I can dip into Hector’s accident fund and still have enough.”

Valencia lets out a little huff that indicates that while she respects Heather’s commitment to her budget, she continues to be less-than-impressed. It reminds Heather to text Hector and tell him that he might need to spend the night out with the guys—just because him and Valencia are no longer on murder terms doesn’t mean she can feel like she can guarantee his personal safety.

“Okay, fine. Skip to page sixty-eight.” At Heather’s disbelieving look, Valencia shrugs defensively. “What? A girl can dream in destinations.”

Heather does as she’s asked without further commentary. It’s not that Heather expected that helping Valencia plan a proposal would be simple. But Valencia knows her tastes—Heather was reasonably certain that her role would be as a yes woman and occasional financial wisdom rather than active decision making.

They aren’t using the couch or even the coffee table anymore—they’ve pulled off all of the cushions and have created a sort of nest on the floor.

“I can propose at a concert!” says Valencia, entirely too brightly.

Heather raises her head off one of the cushions. “You guys like going to concerts?”

“Not really? But everyone proposes at John Legend’s concerts, so it would work.”

“Beth likes John Legend?”

“Kind of? She doesn’t mind him but she loves Chrissy Teigen. And maybe we’d get some good karma from their marriage.”

“Not bad. You might also get drinks spilled on you,” Heather reminds her. “It could be sticky. Plus, other people might propose at same concert and steal your thunder.”

“Ugh, true. Plus, the scheduling doesn’t work out—he won’t be on tour for a good few months.”

Perhaps it is the tiredness, or remembering that she still needs to write up the shift schedules for next month, that prompts her to suggest, “Why not Home Base? I mean, you guys did agree to meet there. So, like, it’s sentimental.”

Valencia somehow looks affronted, disgusted and poorly hiding it, and despairing all at once. Heather would almost be impressed.

“I’ve been going to Home Base longer than you’ve been working there, Heather. I really don’t want to propose marriage at the bar where I used to pick up Elena from softball practice. It doesn’t feel right.”

Heather props herself up on her elbows so that she can look at Valencia properly. “Okay. What doesn’t feel right? It’s not going to be perfect.”

“I’m not going for perfect,” says Valencia irritably. “I gave Rebecca perfect, and look where that landed her. A perfect proposal would mean an island vacation, and dessert for Beth, and possibly sky writing. But it would also mean debt and she would so not be happy about that.”

 “Great. Is that the only thing you’re worried about?”

 Valencia’s hands twist against each other in her lap. Then they untangle and she dives into her purse and pulls out a small black box, which she sets on the table between them. Gone is her haughty event planner bravado, now Valencia just looks lost, more than Heather has ever seen her. 

“This proposal has to feel right because I messed up the first time.”

“The first time?”

“The ultimatum,” says Valencia glumly. “I don’t want it to be too much—it needs to be something that Beth would love to accept. Something that proves that we know each other and can be a part of each other’s lives.”

“Can I see it?” At Valencia’s nod of permission, Heather reaches over and opens the box to look at the ring.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Isn’t it? Moshe has a good collection. I’ve known this is the one for her for ages now. And…I want that feeling about how I propose. Does that make any sense?”

It does. Heather nods, waiting for Valencia to continue.

“It’s just…I made such a big deal about wanting to get married, and I want this proposal to show her that I know her, and it’s not all about me me me.”

“Of course.”

“That’s why I asked you. You might not be the biggest romantic of all of us, but you follow your gut about what feels right. And I want that confidence when I ask her.”

It’s both touching and terrifying to have that much faith in a person. Awkwardly, Heather pats Valencia’s shoulder. Valencia leans into the touch anyways, seeking whatever awkward comfort that Heather tries to give.

“You know, she’s going to love you whatever you do,” says Heather slowly. “And obviously, you know her well enough to know that these insanely awesome proposals are still awesome, just not right. We’ll find something better. And, like, I’m not gonna give up. You’re not going to leave California without a game plan.

Valencia gives her a tiny smile.

“Thank you, Heather,” she says. She looks ready to say more, but then there’s the sound of a very small gong being struck.

Valencia frowns, pulling her phone out of her pocket, scans the screen, and sighs. “I have to go. The client with the vineyard wants to meet now, of all times. I’m gonna go to her place, but when I get back, maybe we can just have a girls’ night in? No more proposal talk?”

“Sure, whatever you want. I can just duck out and like, get some more rosé. Just wines. Ablutions to drown our frustrations.”

Valencia smiles wanly and sees herself out. Heather waits until she’s sure that Valencia’s car has pulled away before hitting her speed dial. Heather is the coolest of her friends, even now that they are all responsible adults, and sometimes that means admitting that you are out of your depth.

~

Still, Heather isn’t lying when she says she needs to go pick up wines. She does.

At Il Cabino. Where Rebecca is waiting at a table for two, astonishingly early.

“You need to help me,” says Heather, not bothering with niceties. As frustrating as Rebecca’s flakiness can be, it is refreshing that she never gets insulted by Heather’s brusqueness.

“Oh, absolutely,” says Rebecca, eyes wide. “I know I haven’t been very good at that in the past, but like, right now I’m all ears.”

“Valencia is going nuts about proposing to Beth—”

Rebecca nods sympathetically. “Oh yeah, I know.”

“You know?”

“Yeah. She’s been texting me.”

Heather looks closely at Rebecca and only sees frank interest in the other woman’s gaze, no impression of jealousy or hurt. “Okay…so you know and you don’t feel left out?”

“She made it very clear that I’m not supposed to help, and given my past record for helping Valencia with anything, I figured the least I could do is let her do her thing,” says Rebecca with remarkable understatement. “Anyways, I’m actually crazy busy. My singing lessons are turning my brains to mush.”

“Hm, and I was hoping to hear that you were actually working your pretzel stand so we could swap tips as fellow businesswomen.”

“Nah, I just let AJ take care of it. His rent is less than a hundred bucks, he can manage.”

“Right. Enough about your life, back to my problems.”

“Shutting up now.” Rebecca mimes zipping her lips.

“Thank you. But Valencia is driving me insane with rejecting every single proposal idea I have. And, like, my ideas are good. I’m good at organizing events.”

“Right. You guys are crazy good at that.”

“I suggested Home Base, kind of as a joke, and she nearly bit my head off.”

“I mean, Home Base is not super romantic. I had enough sex in the back room there enough to know.”

“What a coincidence, so did I,” says Heather dryly. “Which means I probably should pay for an extremely thorough cleaning, but that’s besides the point. If Valencia isn’t feeling it, it’s not going work. So I figured, I’ve been striking out, I might as well ask our local romance expert for tips.”

“Aww,” coos Rebecca, placing her hand on her heart. Then her expression shifts from soppy to self-deprecatingly wry. “You guys must really be in a tight spot.”

“Yep. So…what do you have for me?”

Rebecca looks thoughtful, not unfocused like when she goes in her head or is too absorbed in her problems.

“I mean, Beth isn’t a total romantic, but she likes to make things meaningful,” says Rebecca after a pause. “She wouldn’t be in these kinds of events if she didn’t. Maybe for Valencia, she’s asking Beth to spend the rest of their lives together. Ask her about if there’s any specific moment when she knew that she wanted Beth to be in her life forever. Like, I know you are big on how there isn’t one moment of magical epiphany and I totally agree, for the record—but she made the decision that it was gonna be Beth at some point. Maybe asking when and where would give her a few new ideas.”

It's an almost stupefying simple idea. Heather nods slowly. “Right. Like, what do they do together that makes Valencia want to spend every day doing the same thing?”

“Exactly. Like, it’s just about finding resonance, right? Something that reaffirms how they feel, but not in an artificial or contrived way. Just love.”

“Right,” says Heather, starting to smile. “Thanks, Rebecca. That helps a lot.”

Rebecca beams. “Any time. And uh, not to be mercenary or anything, but since I gave good advice, does that mean you can pick up the tab? Music lessons have really tightened up my budget and you did offer to take me out to happy hour, so.”

~

“You’ve been gone a while.” 

There’s a faintly accusatory tone to Valencia’s words when Heather gets back. She’s already sprawled over the couch, reading the magazine that Heather dropped earlier that morning.

“And yet, you still let yourself into my house. How was the meeting?”

“Okay. Honestly, it’s a good thing I’m in a personal crisis right now or I would have never agreed to do their wedding. Ugh, what annoying people. But, I promised, no more wedding talk. Tell me what’s been going on at Home Base. Don’t spare any details—I know you love that drama.”

“I do love drama. But before we get into that, I think I have one more suggestion that might help you with the whole proposal situation. Just one.”

“Okay?”

“I’m not a traditionally romantic person. You know this.”

“I do.”

“And I married Hector when I did because he really needed the health insurance. But I knew that I wanted to spend my life with him before that. He makes me laugh. He makes things light in my life. Even when he does something stupid like almost lose his toe.”

“That’s…surprisingly sweet, Heather.”

“Don’t say it’s wasted on Hector,” Heather warns.

“I’m not, but trust me, it’s hard.”

“Good. But that was a very roundabout, Rebecca-like way of asking: maybe think about when you decided you wanted to marry Beth?”

Valencia exhales noisily, slumping back against the sofa arm. “I’m almost never not thinking about it. When we’re at work together, when we’re talking, whenever I see her when I wake up in the morning with all of the light in her hair—” Valencia abruptly stops speaking, eyes wide.

Heather takes the opening.

“So there is a moment?”

“Yes.”

“In the morning?”

“Yes!”

“So you’re basically saying that she’s your sunshine?”

Valencia is too excited to be annoyed by Heather’s teasing. “Yes, exactly. She’s my sunshine! Which believe me, was sometimes the only thing that got me through this winter. It was cold.”

“I’ll bet,” agrees Heather. “New York isn’t exactly balmy.”

“Yeah, yeah. No, this is perfect.”

“So you know what you’re going to do?”

“Uh huh.”

“Are you going to tell me? Where will this event take place?”

“Our apartment. That’s our home now. It’s a shoebox and extremely uncomfortable, but it’s also ours. And mine. And that’s the first time I ever had something like that.”

Valencia actually sounds giddy.

“What do you think?” she appeals to Heather.

“That sounds just like both of you.”

“I think so.” Valencia looks conflicted. “But I want to share it with you guys too. Like, I want a little fun, otherwise I’ll just start crying and in the sloppy way, not the movie-style pretty way.”

“Again, I can’t go to New York. Paula’s too busy and Rebecca is equally broke.”

Valencia’s eyes sparkle. “Okay, but what is the best way to visit New York without visiting New York?”

Heather has an inkling of where this is going.

“You’re going to livestream your proposal?”

“Of course not. I’m going to livestream after she says yes.”

“Oooh boy.”

Valencia flutters a hand. “I think she’ll be fine as long as the actual moment itself is private. She’s not like me—she doesn’t want to get a proposal in front of people. So…you think it’s good?”

“It’s perfect. Out of curiosity, why did you want to be proposed to in front of people?”

“I mean, it used to be a social-capital type of thing, but honestly, I don’t want all of West Covina there. I would want you guys, and my family to share the moment. Cause you love us, you love Beth…and it’s still nice to be the center of attention once in a while. But that’s me, not Beth. Now, enough proposal talk. Let’s crack these wine babies open.”

Heather nods, a little distracted, a new idea forming in her head.

~

“The drone was a nice touch,” Paula observes as the three of them crowd around Heather’s laptop in her kitchen a few weeks later.

“Not mine. That was all Valencia.”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe Valencia’s engaged!” Rebecca’s squeal is exactly what Valencia seems to want, she just beams all the brighter. From within the camera, Beth seems amusedly resigned, leaning her head on Valencia’s shoulder, admiring the ring.

“Well, since you have your girls on the line…” says Beth, and Heather smirks, the only woman of the lot of them who knows what’s coming, as Beth disappears out of their sight line, and emerges with a small velvet black box of her own.

“Oh my god!” Valencia’s squawk has all three of them jerking away from the laptop, but the general cacophony from Paula and Rebecca more than make up for it.

“A double proposal!” Rebecca’s grin is so wide that Heather’s own face aches in sympathy.

“Valencia, Valencia stop shaking me, I have a whole speech prepared, and I know it’s not a flash mob in Times Square—”

“I don’t care!” Valencia shrieks. “How did you—when—”

Beth laughs, giddy with adrenaline.

“Thank Heather,” she says, her voice clear even over the faint buzzing of the drone. “I called her for advice, and she didn’t give me any details, but she did say that if I wanted to propose, I might want to consider keeping the ring in the apartment. Preferably under the bed.”

“Heather!!” Valencia glares at her across the country, mascara running, but the smile on her face is impossible to repress.

“Told you I’m romantic,” says Heather mildly, but still smiling, pleased.

“I know,” says Valencia. “Thank you.”

She turns back to Beth. “But I thought you wanted a private proposal. Everyone’s watching us right now—”

“I did, and I’m glad I got one. But you’re not me. Valencia, you are a sun, and you draw all of us in your orbit—”

There is more, but Heather can barely hear any of it, between the screamlets coming out of the laptop and the shrieks echoing around Rebecca’s kitchen. Rebecca is punching Heather’s arm and saying something about she knew Heather was secretly a romantic at heart, she just knew it, and Paula is looking misty again, but Heather only has eyes for the two women on the other side of the screen, wearing rings and embracing so tightly it’s like the drone isn’t there at all.

What? She said she’s a romantic.

[thechekhov]

These two questions are quite similar, so I hope you don’t mind me answering in the same ask. 

First of all, it’s maybe a good idea to visit my curly hair tag - I’ve talked a lot about curly hair maintenance before, and it is worth re-reading. 

My number one piece of advice to you BOTH is probably the most important thing I will ever say to any person ever:

IF YOU WANT A GOOD CURLY HAIRCUT.... GO TO A CURLY HAIR-SPECIFIC SALON! 

I am SERIOUS! There is a reason that curly haired people everywhere consistently say that they do NOT trust straight-haired stylists with their hair. That’s because stylists who are not specially trained with curly hair will consistently BUTCHER curly hair cuts. I am not exaggerating. 

Things that are red flags when someone is cutting your curly hair:

- They wash/shampoo it before they cut it

- They use a hair dryer on a high setting

- They re-curl your hair with a curling iron after they’re done cutting

Here’s some basic, run of the mill rules that your stylist absolutely MUST follow if you have curly hair:

1) ALWAYS cut curly hair when it’s DRY! 

Why? Because unlike straight hair, curly hair behaves completely differently when it’s wet vs. when it’s dry. Cutting it while wet guarantees you that your haircut will look completely different the next day. In fact, it guarantees that your haircut will probably not look good the next day either.

Curly hair loses inches when it dries. The shape, the length, it all changes! 

I think it’s fair to say we all notice this, but when it’s wet, curly hair could almost pass for straight hair. Don’t fall for this trick!

In a good haircut, what you need is to be able to see how the hair falls when you are finished drying it. For this reason, curly hair is always cut while it’s dry, and then washed/shampooed later. 

Second - PLEASE stop combing your hair! 

Combs, boar bristle brushes, etc... They will fuck up your hair. You know how everyone with curly hair complains about frizz? The results are almost ALWAYS due to two major problems:

1) Your hair is too dry - you’re using too much shampoo, and not enough conditioner.

2) You’re brushing/combing your hair and completely pulling apart all curls.  

This is what your hair probably looked like at some point. This is what ALL of our hair probably looked like at some point.

Does this sound familiar?

Your mom hands you a brush. “Brush your hair!” she complains. You have brushed your hair. But the more you brush it.... the bigger it gets! It tangles even more, it catches everything in its radius like a small planet with its own gravitational force. You know what people look like after you rub a balloon on their head? That’s every day for you, with or without balloons. 

Why does this happen?

Simple. By brushing out your hair, you are separating your curls from their natural groupings. 

See, in straight hair, all hair just hangs out together in one big thing. But your curls all have curl-friends. They NEED their curl-friends to stay nice and not-poofy.

When you brush or comb, you are literally pulling apart well-formed intentional curls, and they all gain 300% volume and 500% disorganization.

Here’s what curly hair looks like when it’s NOT brushed out:

“But Chekhov?! What the heck am I supposed to do if I don’t brush it?! Won’t it get tangled?“

Not if you take care of it properly it won’t.

1) Get in the shower

2) Turn down the shower heat to lukewarm.

3) Wash your hair by shampooing ONLY the scalp (seriously, stop washing it too much. By washing it too often, your hair tries to overcompensate for the lack of oil and becomes EXTRA oily. It’s super hard to undo later. I’ll make another post about it.).

4) Use copious amounts of conditioner and use your fingers to untangle your hair while it’s got the conditioner in it. Go through and untangle everything. At this stage, you can comb it with a wide-tooth comb while in the shower. 

5) Rinse (NOT WITH HOT WATER. LUKEWARM.)

6) Get out of the shower, dry yourself off and-- DON’T TOUCH THAT TOWEL. Get a cotton t-shirt. Lean forward and flip your head upside down. Dry your hair by squishing your hair upwards with the t-shirt. 

Why can’t I use a towel? 

Because your towel is like a brush and will pull apart your curls way more than a t-shirt will. Rubbing and fluffing will lead to the same frizziness.

7) Leave the dryer alone. Pile your hair on your head, wrap it in a t-shirt if you want, and leave it to dry overnight or during the day. (If you need it to be dry NOW, then I recommend a diffuser, or a dryer on the coldest setting you have.)

Notice - I did not include any fancy schmancy curl products here. You can benefit from them, but this routine change alone can carry you quite a ways. 

I know some of these go against many people’s pre-conceived notions of how to take care of hair. But trust me when I say - taking care of straight hair is NOT the norm! It doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to listen to your straight haired relatives telling you how to take care of your hair. They don’t know squat. 

A lot of people recommend not washing daily - I personally don’t, and most curly haired people also do not. 

However! 

For someone who has been washing their hair daily, the transition is difficult. If your hair knows it will be stripped of all its protective oils every night, it works its hardest to replenish them every day. That’s why for people who try to stop washing daily, what they often find is that their hair gets extremely oily. What that means is - you need to grin and bear it for a LONG time before your head chemistry is recalibrated. You have to basically give your scalp time to realize “wait, the dryness from the shampoo isn’t happening every day anymore? I can.... relax? And stop re-oiling myself so often?” That takes... sometimes a week. Sometimes up to a month. It depends on the person. I recommend easing up gradually and going from once a day to once-every-other-day or something, instead of quitting cold turkey. 

Disclaimer: If you’re about to reblog and comment with how much this routine isn’t for you, then just don’t. This routine isn’t for everyone, but what I’m trying to communicate here is the BASICS. If your personal situation is different, that’s great, but it doesn’t disqualify how helpful this can be for someone who has never had anyone tell them how to take care of their hair type before. 

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 158

Episode: Yes! Precure 5 10 - “Save Nuts from Starvation!” Date watched: 13 November 2019 Original air date: 8 April 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/L8xVIxB Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

“Nuts hasn’t eaten in two days, Coco!”

“Look, we all have different life experiences-coco. That’s what makes us each special and unique-coco. So forgive me for not knowing that two days is APPARENTLY a long time to not eat food-coco!”

We’ve established Natts House as a base of operations and a store, we’ve got a school journalist with a very questionable sense of ethics and integrity with the hots for Nuts, and now we have a store in desperate need of some business. Time to put the pieces together!

The Plot

Nuts is starving because his shop isn’t getting any business, so the girls try to figure out how to advertise for him. Karen reminds them that they aren’t allowed to bring jewelry to school, meaning they’ll have to work indirectly. Nozomi and Rin try to get Mika to run ads for the shop in the school newspaper, but she insists that this would violate her journalistic integrity. Komachi tries to talk to random girls at school and tell them about the store, but they aren’t very receptive to her. Karen gushes to the student council after a meeting but they seem taken aback by her unusual enthusiasm. Urara even tries wearing a necklace while making an appearance on a local variety show. Unfortunately, she’s just a face in the crowd, and doesn’t appear for long.

for once, “spot the main character” is actually difficult

Having all failed spectacularly, they decide to fall back on the classic approach: handing out fliers! They collectively design one, get a Pinky to duplicate them (I guess it’s cheaper than a photocopier), and hit the streets to hand them out. Nozomi gives one to a man that turns out to be Gamao, who is upset that the girls defeated him and (in his mind) kept him from getting a paycheck, which would have allowed him to buy food. In his anger, he decides to suck all the girls into a chasm in the ground and try to defeat them, whether in an attempt at petty revenge for his own poor life choices, or to try to get the Dream Collet and return to Nightmare. He turns his coin purse into a Kowaina and throws them around a little bit himself, but Urara seriously scolds him for blaming his faults on them, rather than himself. After all, both he and Nuts are in a position where they can’t afford food, but Nuts is actually taking action while Gamao is moping around and shifting blame. Rouge and Aqua defeat the Kowaina while Dream handles the toady bastard.

They escape the chasm and return to handing out fliers. Masuko Mika happens to be passing through the square and absentmindedly takes a flier from Nuts, doing a double take as she recognizes him as the mysterious hottie she devoted the paper to. Next thing we see, Natts House is flooded with students from L’ecole Cinq Lumieres and Nozomi and Rin are talking with Mika about her apparent change of heart. She insists that she isn’t promoting Natts House, she’s reporting on important news to the community. Rin snarks that she’s just fangirling, but regardless, Nuts is making money and he genuinely smiles as the episode closes out.

The Analysis

In the first place, I like the continued world-building in this episode. Natts House doesn’t magically attract customers simply by existing, so they have to advertise for it. It’s a little lesson in business for the audience, and it also makes room for a lesson about the value of Hard Work (and Guts). On the one hand, you have Gamao, who failed at his job, ran away instead of telling his boss that he failed, and as a result, has not been paid and cannot eat. Instead of trying to find another job, he mopes around and blames the girls for his failure. On the other side, you have Nuts, who works with the girls to find customers for his store in order to afford food. I don’t agree with his attitude towards charity, but he’s always been stubborn. You also get to continue Mika’s little story arc from the previous episode, where she claims journalistic integrity but basically just runs a tabloid. Fortunately, her infatuation with Nuts works for the girls’ benefit again, essentially advertising Natts House by reporting on its owner and his place of work. The contrast between her words and actions makes for a fun source of ironic humor.

We also get to see a new side of Urara here. She is almost scary in her conviction to the need for advertising. All the other girls are taken aback by her abrupt change in personality.

Being an actress, who not only has to market herself as a product, but also markets products for other people, it makes sense that she is the most attuned to the importance of advertising. We see this aggressive sincerity again during the fight with Gamao when she scolds him for being lazy, contrasting what he and Nuts have done to alleviate their hunger. She is righteously indignant, and it’s wonderful to see this normally aloof girl take a firm stance. I don’t mean to suggest that her morals have ever been in question, as we saw her strong will in action from her first transformation, but her typical behavior is a bit more quirky and less aggressive than this.

In a related case, this episode has some fantastic facial expressions and reactions from most of the cast. Here’s the group’s reaction to Urara’s sternness:

Karen telling Nozomi that no, she cannot bring even just a few accessories to school to showcase:

The girls’ reaction after Urara’s TV appearance turns out to be miniscule:

Mika declaring she will NEVER allow advertising in her paper:

Mika recognizing Nuts:

And Nozomi and Rin recognizing Nuts in Mika’s paper:

There are a lot of good moments though, and I can’t bog down this post with ALL of them, so check out the gallery link at the top of the post for a better rundown.

This episode also gives us a merchandising opportunity! Nozomi completes work on the flier, but Rin points out that they can’t hand out a single flier, and Nuts and Coco drop two huge stacks of paper in front of her for her to draw on. Her reaction to being told she has to make a few hundred copies by hand is......

in a word, exploitable (feel free to save this and use it as a reaction gif)

However, it turns out that one of the Pinkies they’ve caught can, as Nuts put it, “Call in customers” in such ways as being a photocopier. This involves the very detailed and well-animated process of pulling a Pinkie card out of the storage case, inserting it into the Dream Collet and pulling it out, with accompanying lights and sounds.

It’s a pretty transparent toy plug, and you really kinda wonder how the girls don’t have access to a photocopier anywhere. I mean sure, maybe not IMMEDIATE access, but it would have taken less time to find one and make 500-1000 copies than for Nozomi to hand-draw them all. Oh well, toys.

This is a really good episode in a lot of ways, and even the brief pause to advertise the Dream Collet toy in the middle isn’t that intrusive. We get to see these girls just.... exist, and interact, and it’s fun. I forgot how much I enjoyed this part of the series because it’s been so long since I watched it, and all I really remember in detail are the episode where Urara hosts a stage show at an amusement park, Milk’s introduction, the mid-season climax, and the Christmas episode because I watched it last year. I really enjoy the little episodes that dive into the characters’ lives a little bit and show us how the world works, and they also take the time to give a lesson on personal responsibility and drive without making it too ham-fisted. Side note, since Gamao's last appearance was in episode 3, he hasn’t fought the full assembled team, and he’s surprised that there are five girls now. Also, since he did only appear the one time, Rin barely remembers him, as she turns to Urara to ask who he is. It’s an amusing moment that sells how terrible he’s been at his job so far.

This episode could have been preachy and hamfisted, but they deftly balance all the necessary elements, inject just the right amount of comedy into it, and make good use of their animation tools. It’s solid art and animation for Precure, with some wonderful facial expressions and no noodle people. Even Nuts, eternally the tsundere, cracks a few genuine smiles in this episode. It gives me the warm fuzzies inside. The next one, however, is even better. Next time, on Precure Daily, Nozomi and Coco’s hot air balloon ride. You know the one. Look forward to it!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 2 Kettei!

[ancientbooshartifacts]

Queerly Beloved

Author: SmilesAwakeYou

Year: 2009

Rating: PG-13

Characters: Garth Marenghi, Dean Learner, Todd Rivers, Dr. Rick Dagless, Lucien Sanchez, Liz Asher, Thornton Reed, Julian OC, Noel OC

Adjusting his tie and shifting the book in his hand, Garth regarded the camera aimed at his handsome face. He raised a brow and opened the pages of Blood Gush to read the genius that lied therein. Mustering all of his strength, he tried to think of what exactly it was he was trying to convey to the camera. What did newscasters call it again? Ah yes. Gravity. So, with all the gravity he could muster, he stared the camera down as inspired words tumbled from his lips. “’Ah,’ she yelled, clawing at the bloody stump that was once her beautiful pearly alabaster arm. ‘My arm, my bloody arm, what have you done with it you ruddy bastard?’ “’Eaten it, of course,’ replied the rabid magical badger who was still noshing on the bloody vestiges of her once beautiful appendage. With that, she kicked ‘im in the head so hard, his eyeballs popped out and exploded like two water balloons full of cream getting hit by a lorry.’” Turning his full attention back to the camera, Garth arched his eyebrow once more. “Hello. That was my terrifying and harrowing epic Blood Gush, a tale of a woman caught in a lie betwixt herself and a satanic cult of terrifying woodland animals.” He allowed a small smile to flit across his face. “Let’s see if you can muster up the courage to travel alone in the woods again after reading that bit of literature.” He killed the smile as a sudden burst of gravity hit him, causing him to scowl. “In my television program, Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace, I sought to venture into the deepest, darkest, most dankest vestibules of my twisted psyche. What were my fears? What were my terrors? What had made me most whiz the bed as a kid? “As I answered those and many other unanswerable questions, I came to realize that the horror I had to spill upon the unsuspecting world would leave her crippled, mangled, like a bird that’s run into a closed window because it’s so stupid it can’t see that it’s glass and then leaves a streak of blood there that I’ve then got to go and clean up because my wife’s too squeamish, even though Sheffield United is playing. Because of this, Darkplace was canceled. That and the Beeb found out it had more stock footage of baby animals than it had originally thought, leading to the premiere of Baby Animals Yawning Are Quite Cute, Yeah? now entering its 25th season. “Anyway, as I questioned and pondered and schemed and was generally brilliant, I came up with an episode so mind-shakingly and bowl-movingly earth-shattering that it was never allowed on air… much like the other six episodes. Of course, it dealt with very sensitive issues and, with the help of my producer Dean Learner” – a picture of Dean and Garth flashed across the screen, both of them looking dapper as Dean stroked his glorious moustache – “we wrote what proved to be the most harrowing episode yet. An episode that dealt with… the Gay Issue.” Garth paused, waiting for such a monumentous statement to really sink in and stick to his viewers’ sides. “So join me now and sift through the demented horrors from my brain as this episode, previously unaired on British television, is seen for the first time. Unless you’re from Finland. They got a hold of it there somehow. We may be suing.” ******* CUE OPENING CREDITS EPISODE #7: “QUEERLY BELOVED” DR RICK DAGLESS, MD walks down a hallway in slow motion. Various hospital goers look on in impressed wonderment. He is truly a great man, as is evident from his walking prowess. DAGLESS [voiceover] Darkplace. It’s a bit mad to work in a place this dark. All this mad darkness can get to a lesser man. Sometimes I think I might just have to blow this popsicle stand and go somewhere a bit less mad and dark. LIZ and SANCHEZ walk by, waving merrily. But, hey, they people here ain’t so bad. Plus, were I to leave everything would go to shit. Cut to THORNTON’s office. THORNTON is sitting at the desk, smoking a cigar and stroking his moustache. DAGLESS [voiceover] Thornton Reed. Now there’s a mangy old grizzly bear if I’ve ever seen one. Which I haven’t but I have seen specials on the Beeb and they are quite impressive. Anyway, Thornton had called me in to discuss some very important business which was business as usual, given the fact that I was his official important-business go-to guy. DAGLESS So, what’s the word, Thornton? THORNTON Puts down his phone Oh, Dag! I cannot believe how mad and dark this place is. So mad and dark! If you were to leave, everything would go to shit. DAGLESS [voiceover] See? DAGLESS Well what dark madness is afoot today? THORNTON Well, you see, there’s some mess happening with one of our morticians. Turns out he’s gone missing! DAGLESS Missing you say? THORNTON Yes. DAGLESS Well, that’s no good. Probably off fucking about with one of the cadavers. THORNTON Laughs heartily before looking deadly serious. Now Dag, dead bodies aren’t something to joke about. Especially since all the cadavers are male! Necrophilia is one thing but gay necrophilia is a horse of a different color. Specifically all the colors… meaning a rainbow-painted horse. A gay, rainbow-painted, dead horse. DAGLESS Gives a manly laugh. If that’s one thing I can’t abide by, it’s anal sex with dead bodies. SANCHEZ and LIZ enter SANCHEZ What’s Rick talking about? His normal Friday night? LIZ Now come on fellas, there’s a lady present. DAGLESS Hardly! Everyone laughs at the hilarious joke. LIZ Still laughing. Oh, I find it so attractive when men put me in my place! THORNTON Striking his desk with resolve. Now now. Let’s come to order. As I was telling Rick, there’s a small order of business concerning a missing mortician. DAGLESS Necrophiliac you mean. Everyone laughs. THORNTON Now Dag, while I too find the prospect of a man getting his jollies by do the genital jamboree with some dead sod downright hilarious, we still need to figure out just where in the Dickens he might have got to. LIZ Is it possible he might have gone home? THORNTON Trust a woman to come up with such a stupidly hair-brained idea. He shakes his head. No, Liz, he hasn’t gone home because he CAN’T go home. He sleeps here. Prefers to, actually. Plus he’s contractually obligated. All the morticians are. Can’t have them running about, giving away secrets of the dead to just anyone. SANCHEZ Well where could he have got to? DAGLESS I don’t know. But wherever he’s got, we’ll find him. I think we should start in the basement. THORNTON Right, you three go down there to the morgue and I will stay here and make sure he’s not skulking about in the proper hospital. DAGLESS Sounds like a plan. ********* INTERVIEW WITH DEAN LEARNER Dean, his mustache twitching thoughtfully, gave the camera a baleful look. “Now, when Garth came to me with this idea, I thought he was downright mad. A whole episode about the gays? Preposterous! But then he sat me down and actually talked out the plot with me and, well, I’ll be diddled with a fiddle stick if it wasn’t downright brilliant.” INTERVIEW WITH GARTH MARENGHI Arching an eyebrow, Garth regarded the camera. “Now, you might find it interesting to know that we actually created more of a stink with our talk about morticians than the homos. Surprising, that. Turns out morticians are very easily offended. It’s not our fault that their jobs almost invariably involve bumming the dead.” INTERVIEW WITH TODD RIVERS Todd, shifting in his chair, steepled his fingers as he contemplated the camera. “Well, yes, when Garth told me about the subject matter of this episode, I was duly alarmed but it is my duty as an actor to overcome all obstacles, no matter how gay. Actually, the thing I ended up taking issue with the most was all that bad-talking about morticians. I got an advanced copy of the script and told Garth, ‘Hey now! What have you got against morticians?’ You see, my grandfather worked in a morgue and I remember many a happy childhood day spent romping about, putting make-up on corpses and coming home smelling of grandma’s pie and formaldehyde. But Garth stuck to his guns and, yes, I think the episode benefited from it in the end.” ******* Cut to the basement. It is dreary and dripping noises sound from all around. DAGLESS [voiceover] Now this was certainly an odd case. Morticians are notorious for being boring and not having much of a life, so where could this one have disappeared to? It was quite a mystery indeed. SANCHEZ Oh, hey now, what was that? LIZ I didn’t hear anything. DAGLESS That means absolutely jack shit, Liz. It’s a well-known fact that men have a superior sense of hearing to women. What did it sound like, Sanch? SANCHEZ It sounded like a distant moaning. DAGLESS A distant moaning? SANCHEZ Yes. DAGLESS My, that is odd. LIZ Perhaps we should go down to the morgue? DAGLESS My God, Liz, no one likes a pushy woman. But perhaps you’re right. LIZ I’m sorry, Rick, that was out of line. DAGLESS It’s alright. There’s a wailing noise, like man mourning the loss of a child. Or that of a wounded monkey. SANCHEZ Hey now, what could that be? LIZ It sounds like it’s coming from the morgue. DAGLESS Only one thing to do then. Let’s go! They all begin to run in slow motion. Cut to MORGUE. DENNIS THE MORTICIAN pulls up his pants and whirls around. DENNIS Oh, Dr. Dagless. Other doctors. I didn’t hear you coming. SANCHEZ Well, you seem like you were too busy doing some “coming” yourself. DENNIS His small eyes dart about like a shrimp. I was just changing my pants. DAGLESS Right, well, we’re not here to discuss your disgusting habits. We came here to discuss a missing mortician. DENNIS Oh, you mean Maurice? Yes, he’s been missing since this morning. DAGLESS Any idea where he could’ve got to? DENNIS No. Not one. Though he did say that one of the bodies was behaving… strangely. Everyone exchanges a look. SANCHEZ Strangely, you say? DENNIS Yes. Strangely. Then he buggered off. Suddenly, the moaning noise is heard again. SANCHEZ Sweet holy moley, Dag, what was that? DAGLESS I dunno, but it’s sending chills right up the old spine chord. LIZ Perhaps we should go investigate? DAGLESS You and your bright ideas, Liz. The moaning continues. But perhaps this once you’re right…. Again. SANCHEZ Pulls out his pistol. C’mon lads! And lady. Let’s go find us a mortician! DAGLESS, LIZ, SANCHEZ and DENNIS all take off, running in glorious slow motion with intense music drumming in the background. They enter a small, dark room with candles and spiderwebs everywhere. DAGLESS [voiceover] As soon as we entered the room, I knew something was afoot. This was some bad joojoo. SANCHEZ I don’t feel good about this, Dag. DAGLESS I know. I know. DENNIS whips around and points to a corner. DENNIS Oh God! What is that? LIZ shrieks. LIZ Oh my, how horrible! A man with fantastic hair lurches forward, flinging out his arms and doing jazz hands in a sparkly red jumpsuit before grabbing SANCHEZ as his gun goes off. SANCHEZ and the man grapple and wrestle until DAGLESS jumps in to pull them apart. Throwing the man off of SANCHEZ, he pulls a cross out of his shirt. DAGLESS Be gone, foul creature! The man hisses and sashays away. DENNIS My God, that was Maurice! DAGLESS It’s too late now. You’re friend has become a vampire. A demon of the night. Nosferatu. LIZ Oh my! How could such a thing happen? DAGLESS Well, when you’re messing about with dead bodies all day, it’s no wonder that a vampire might sneak its way in. Turns to SANCHEZ. You alright? You’re holding your neck. SANCHEZ Holding his neck. Oh, I do believe I’ll be alright, old friend. He falls to his knees. But I think I also got bitten. He falls completely on the floor. DAGLESS drops to his knees and rips open his shirt. DAGLESS Nooooooo!! SANCHEZ picks his head up. SANCHEZ Well, I don’t think I’m dead yet, so you might still be able to save me. His head falls to the floor again. DAGLESS Oh. Alright. ******** INTERVIEW WITH DEAN LEARNER “People actually seemed surprised that Garth and I wrote this episode together. To be fair, it was Garth’s concept to begin with. But then I got in on the action which some people – i.e. my wife - found rather suspect. I mean, what’s so strange about two men researching an episode about gayness by going to pubs that cater almost exclusively to homosexuals? Sure, the experience was disgusting, but it was also educational.” He paused. “And hazy.” ****** Cut to a hospital bed where SANCHEZ is lying down, a bandage around his neck. SANCHEZ Thanks for dragging me out of that hell hole, friends. DAGLESS Not a problem, mate. I know you’d do the same for me. DAGLESS [voiceover] The problem was that we didn’t know when the vampirism would manifest itself. Or how. LIZ Don’t worry, Sanchez. You’ll be good as new soon. SANCHEZ Thanks, Liz. DAGLESS turns to DENNIS. DAGLESS Now you: go and try and find out where Maurice or whatever’s left of him could’ve disappeared to. I’ve got to go talk to Reed. Cut to THORNTON’S office. THORNTON Pounding his desk authoritatively. I don’t like it, Dag, I don’t like it one bit. A vampire? In this hospital? Now that is just a pain in my arse. And neck. DAGLESS I don’t like it much either, Reed. Not at all. And there was something a bit off with this vampire. He was a bit… fabulous. THORNTON Fabulous? What in God’s great glorious manteats do you mean by that? DAGLESS …I don’t know, Reed. I just don’t know. DAGLESS [voiceover] But I did know. Or at least, I had an inkling. I suspected that this vampire might be the rare kind… the campy kind. A gay vampire. ******* INTERVIEW WITH DEAN LEARNER “It was actually my idea to make it be vampires that would spread the gayness. Because, you know, gayness – just like vampirism – is spread through the blood.” He glanced over behind the camera to where the producer was shaking his head. “Oh, it isn’t? Well, anyway, that’s what we thought at the time. I originally wanted to call the vampires ‘campires’ – get it? Campy vampires? – but Garth didn’t get it and I thought… it Garth doesn’t get it, who in blue blazes will? So we chucked it. Best decision I’ve ever made.” INTERVIEW WITH GARTH MARENGHI Garth regarded the camera with an annoyed look. “We ended up running into a bit of a problem with the gay community given the fact that the gayness could be transmitted through the blood. Something about AIDS or some bollocks. So I just said, ‘look, I don’t get all uppity when one of you tries to play it straight, alright? So don’t get in my face when I try and give you people some airtime.’” He smirked and settled back in his chair. “And that ended that argument.” He paused. “Although we weren’t allowed to air the episode. But that’s neither here nor there.” ******* Cut to SANCHEZ’s bedside. He is unconscious and DAGLESS sits beside him, looking manly and concerned. DAGLESS [voiceover] I was worried about Sanchez. Would he be turned gay? Or would he just become a vampire? I wasn’t sure which was worst. Sure, getting my blood sucked out by my best friend was bad enough but getting chatted up by him as well? That was just bone-chilling. SANCHEZ stirs. DAGLESS Can you hear me buddy? It’s your friend, Dag. Just know that I won’t rest until you’re back to normal. Of course, I might also have to give you a stake through the heart but, well, that’s something I’d be willing to do to save you. SANCHEZ In a faint voice. …Dag? DAGLESS moves in closer. DAGLESS Yeah, mate? SANCHEZ I… I feel strange… like… like someone’s doing the electric boogaloo in my Johnson… I’ve got the strange urge to… to dance to ABBA… DAGLESS Shh, it’s ok old friend. SANCHEZ I… I think I might fancy… Boy George… DAGLESS Fight it, Sanch, fight it! SANCHEZ I… Dag? DAGLESS Yeah? SANCHEZ What am I wearing? With that he pulls down his sheets to reveal that he is wearing cut-off jean shorts and a bedazzled silver top as well as a kerchief. His eyes have also gone red and vampire fangs appear. DAGLESS raises an anguished fist. DAGLESS Nooooo! THORNTON and LIZ burst in as SANCHEZ prances up to try and bite DAGLESS. They struggle until DAGLESS gets out his cross again, throwing the transformed SANCHEZ off of him. SANCHEZ cowers in glorious slow motion. SANCHEZ Waaaaargh! ******** INTERVIEW WITH TODD RIVERS Todd crinkled his forehead, his fingers still steepled. “Uh, in that scene I was actually meant to kiss Dagless rather fervently on the mouth. But, as I’ve stated in previous interviews, there’s no limit to my acting… save when it comes to making whoopee with another man. Because while I may be a professional, I’m still straighter than two jockstraps filled with testosterone. And me trying to do the tongue tango with a bloke, well… it just wouldn’t be convincing. Even if I acted my ruddy pants off.” ********* The fighting continues until SANCHEZ is thrown off DAGLESS, causing him to lash out at both LIZ and THORNTON. DAGLESS Get away from them you animal! But it is for naught because both LIZ and THORNTON are bitten. THORNTON Oh, oh ow! That ruddy hurts, it does! LIZ Oh, I do believe I have been wounded! SANCHEZ pauses before running out and DAGLESS goes to the doorway. DAGLESS I will find you and get you! LIZ and THORNTON both fall to the floor. Oh no! Liz! Reed! He looks to the sky. Noooooooo! Sanchez! You gay bastard! Dennis bursts in. DENNIS Dagless! I believe I found out who the root of the problem is! He looks around. What happened here? DAGLESS They got bitten by Sanchez. I’ve got to go stop him before he bites anyone else. DENNIS But wait! You know that body that Maurice had said was behaving strangely? DAGLESS Yes? DENNIS Turns out he’s the head vampire! Only he, uh, bit me too. He continues to look unharmed. DAGLESS looks him up and down. DAGLESS Where? DENNIS shifts uncomfortably before gesturing to his bathing suit area. Ah. Well, where is this vampirical bummer? DENNIS Downstairs. Hurry! DAGLESS runs out of the door. Cut to the basement again. It is still dark and dank and drippy. DAGLESS is running through the halls in slow motion. DAGLESS [voiceover] Now this was worrisome. The head vampire? Here? In this very basement? That was quite the head scratcher. Why here? Why Darkplace? Why Sanchez? This bastard was going to answer those questions. And more. DAGLESS enters the cave-like room that MAURICE was in before. There is a man standing there in a purple cape with his back to DAGLESS. DAGLESS Oi! You! The vampire turns around. He has on sparkly gloves and a pink fedora. He hisses. VAMPIRE How did you find me, lovie? DAGLESS By my own wits. That and Dennis told me you were down here. VAMPIRE Really? He didn’t seem to mind me too much before. DAGLESS Scowls in disgust. Hey, what you do in the privacy of your own home is your business. Except for when you’re at my hospital. The VAMPIRE starts to advance but DAGLESS whips out his cross again, stopping him in his tracks. Nope, not so fast. Now tell me… why are you here? VAMPIRE Very well. I can tell your will as well as your heterosexuality is too strong for me to sway. He sweeps his cloak and walks around the room, DAGLESS mirroring him. I came to this hospital by accident – I had been hiding out after wreaking havoc on a naval yard by posing as a dead body – and couldn’t help but bite that pretty Maurice when I saw him. Now that I’ve seen this place, I’ve realized that the hostpital is no place for a woman… it is a place for big, beautiful, capable men doctors. And I love it! Not even you can stop me from making this into one big poof factory! Because that is the goal of the gay vampire: MAKE EVERYONE ELSE GAY! DAGLESS I can stop you and I will stop you! Just you wait! The VAMPIRE cackles before disappearing in a plume of smoke, leaving DAGLESS alone and coughing. The others! DAGLESS dashes out of the cave. ******** INTERVIEW WITH GARTH MARENGHI “Now, there were accusations that this episode was homophobic.” Garth scoffed, leaning forward to regard the camera. “So, yeah, maybe I do find bumming grotesque, but this episode is about awareness, yeah? To show that homos are people too. Or rather anyone can be gay.” He thought for a moment. “Or a vampire.” INTERVIEW WITH DEAN LEARNER “Yeah, I heard lots of things, right, like ‘oh, you’re perpetuating the stereotype that gay is contagious’ but no!” Dean pointed a decisive finger at the camera. “No. We were trying to show that it’s not contagious.” He paused, stroking his moustache. “Lest of course you exchange bodily fluids. Big difference.” ****** Cut to THORNTON’s office. SANCHEZ and THORNTON are dancing to loud techno music while DENNIS and MAURICE throw satsumas at each other in their underwear and giggle. THORNTON is dressed only in a mesh shirt and a banana hammock. Everyone has fangs. DAGLESS bursts in, breathless. DAGLESS No! No men! Remember you’re men, not poofs! Everyone ignores him. SANCHEZ runs his fingers through THORNTON’s hair and grinds against him. ****** INTERVIEW WITH TODD RIVERS Todd’s hands fell into his lap and he shifted, avoiding the camera lens with his eyes. “Yeah, I don’t actually remember filming that scene.” ********* DAGLESS Turn off the techno! Put on your pants! Stop with the glitter! The VAMPIRE enters in a cloud of smoke, laughing. VAMPIRE All are powerless to the draw of manflesh! He outstretches his hand, flashing his fangs at DAGLESS. Join us, Rick! Join usssss. DAGLESS Never! At that moment, LIZ enters. Her arm is wrapped around another very attractive nurse. LIZ Hi, Dag. So you found the head vampire? DAGLESS nods. Oh, well, I’m a lesbian now. This is Nancy. NANCY Hi! LIZ Isn’t she adorable? DAGLESS Er… LIZ and NANCY begin to snog. It is very hot. Everyone stops dancing to stare at them. MAURICE drops a satsuma. VAMPIRE What? Why did you stop dancing? Keep going! Grind on each other! DAGLESS laughs a manly laugh. DAGLESS You forgot, vampire, the only thing a heterosexual man can never forget: that lesbians are HOT. VAMPIRE Nooooo! DAGLESS And now, for your weakness… He pulls out a wooden stake. Stake to the heart! At that, he thrusts the stake into the VAMPIRE’s heart. He shrieks and disappears. The techno music turns off and everyone goes back to wearing their normal clothes save MAURICE, who stays in the red jumpsuit. LIZ and NANCY stop making out, causing everyone to groan. SANCHEZ Come on, Liz! Don’t stop now! LIZ Sorry fellas, I’m back on men. SANCHEZ Hey-o! LIZ …Except for Sanchez. SANCHEZ …Hey! THORNTON Thank Christ on a cracker for you Dag! I was actually beginning to think Duran Duran was a stellar band! And Sanchez’ pecs were driving me absolutely nutty. SANCHEZ Thanks, Reed. But thank you more, Dag. Without you, we all would have been bumming within the hour. MAURICE Yeah, thanks for saving us! DAGLESS Don’t mention it. Just remember to be more careful when you muck about with those dead bodies from now on, ok? DENNIS Will do. Now we need to get back downstairs to those cadavers. DAGLESS And your necrophilia! Everyone laughs for a good two minutes. MAURICE Alright, thanks again! MAURICE and DENNIS begin to leave, holding hands. SANCHEZ Um, you fellows do know you don’t need to do that anymore right? They exchange a look and drop their hands. DENNIS Right, yes, sure, it’s a… a mortician thing. THORNTON Right… or a gay thing! Everyone laughs again as the camera pans to look at each of their mirthful faces. Cut to the roof of Darkplace. DAGLESS is standing, solitary, overlooking the city below. DAGLESS [voiceover] That day we dealt with vampires, sparkly shirts, gays and, most importantly, the hotness that is two women snogging each other. What did we learn? Was there a point to it all? Had that mortician really been boning a dead body? Was there a reason why that other mortician had been dressed like a very tarty woman? Did Liz have any lingering bisexual tendencies? These and other questions had to be pondered. But for now, we were all a little bit older, a little bit wiser and a little bit more wary about going into the basement. ********** INTERVIEW WITH DEAN LEARNER Dean shifted in his chair, cocking his head and lighting a cigar. “Sure, so maybe the focus groups didn’t go wild for the episode but I thought it was a hell of a success.” He paused, looking wistful and taking a puff. “I just didn’t see why my wife felt the need to use it as evidence during our divorce.” INTERVIEW WITH GARTH MARENGHI Garth leaned back in his chair, an earnest look on his face. “So, as you can see, there was absolutely no homophobia in this episode. Only truth. And two hot women getting it on. So, really, the gays didn’t need to get all up in arms about it. And the guy who played the Vampire? Absolutely did not need to sue us. I mean, how was I to know he was actually gay? You should really warn people about that before they accidentally make jokes about poofters and shirt-lifters in front of you, expecting you to laugh.” Garth regarded the camera with utmost seriousness. “It’s just common courtesy.” CUE END CREDITS

[dayspringministries]

YOU CAN DO IT!

My wife LaWanda and I have recently celebrated 50 years of marriage.  She is an amazing person and an equal partner in this relationship.  We’ve actually experienced everything that we recited in our wedding vows - “for better, for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.”  Through it all we have made it and made it victoriously.  We have an enduring love and are continuing to grow in our understanding of each other.  In reflecting on our relationship let me just share a few things that we have learned.  Perhaps these thoughts can be as helpful to you as they have been to us.

#1  Even in your most heated arguments never use the word divorce!

One couple said, “Tell everybody you can to never speak the word divorce.  There is something fatal in the very use of the word. Don’t let them plant that seed—it grows too wild and too fast.”

The Bible says, “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences”  (Proverbs 18:21 NLT)

#2  Do not think that intense disagreement means there is trouble in marriage.

Be honest when you disagree.  Express your hurt.  Let your feelings show.  People who keep things bottled up inside are candidates for all kinds of illnesses.  Most married people who have intense disagreements think they are somehow becoming allergic to one another.  They think to themselves, “Oh boy, here we go again.  It’s a hopeless situation.  We must have lost our love and respect for each other.”

Quit the theatrics.  You’re human and you will have disagreements.  Learn to get it out quickly.  Don’t ever think of quitting on your marriage because you are still weak in the area of communications.  People who keep looking for a perfect relationship are headed for real disappointment.

Most important of all—never drop “the bomb” when you argue or disagree.  Every husband, every wife, knows exactly what to say to get his or her “goat.”  Learn to admit, “Our marriage is good, we simply must learn to communicate better.”  The Bible offers the best advice of all: “Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling.” (Proverbs 20:3 NLT)

#3  Never make your mate the butt of jokes—privately or publicly.

Comedic partners who poke fun at their mate think of it as “good natured joking.”  It’s not!  It is degrading and dangerous.  Making jokes about the stupid things your spouse did is another way of putting him or her down.  Behind most of the jokes is a spirit of anger and malice.  It’s a way of bringing up the mistakes so everybody can know about the failure.  Behind the laughter can be terrible hurt.

#4  Practice complimenting each other—sincerely and often!

Sadly, some husbands and wives believe they have been called to keep their mate humble.  They are constantly pricking the balloon so that he or she will not get the “big head.”  Wives tend to become as beautiful as the compliments their husbands pay them.  They become radiant when told how attractive they are. And husbands will do almost anything to live up to the compliments and encouragement of a proud wife.  The Bible says, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver…” (Proverbs 25:11KJV).

#5  Never smother each other—set your love free!

It has been said, “If it’s really love, set it free—and it will always return.  If not, it wasn’t love from the start.”  There is a measure of truth in that.  A husband of 45 years confessed to me the secret of his enduring marriage to one woman.  “I believe it is my privilege and duty to create an atmosphere in my home in which my wife can reach her full potential.  She, in turn, helps me reach mine.”

The most fulfilling of all marriages are those in which both husband and wife commit their love to God’s keeping, and who truly set each other free to grow and mature.  If God cannot keep you together, charm and sex will never do it.  Without freedom, there can be no growth.  Not freedom to flirt or “fool around,” but freedom to take on new challenges and set new goals.  True freedom is based on trust and trust comes from feeling secure in each other’s love.

#6  Learn how to say “I’m sorry!”  And mean it.

“Love Story” was a movie whose theme was “Love is never having to say I’m sorry.”  Well, I’m sorry, but that’s a lie.  Love, according to God’s Word, is learning how to say your sorry.  Along with learning to say “I’m sorry,” husbands and wives must learn how to say “I forgive.”  Jesus warned that the forgiveness of our Heavenly Father depends on our forgiving those who do wrong to us.

The Bible says, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”

#7  Never shut each other out—be open at all times!

Never “clam up” or walk out when things get shaky.  One of the most aggravating actions irritating marriages today is the silent treatment.  It is deadly wrong to say to your husband or wife, “Just leave me alone.  I don’t want to talk.  I’m going through a rough place—let me work it out by myself.  I don’t want to be around anyone right now.”   There is a place for giving each other time and space, but what is a marriage all about if it is not about sharing and helping one another in our rough moments and dark times.

#8  Make a conscious effort to keep the joy flowing!

If the joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10), then strong marriages should abound with joy.  When marriage loses its joy, that marriage becomes weak and vulnerable.  Show me a happy home and I’ll show you a joyful couple at the helm.  It seems to me that we’re seeing too many sober husbands and sad wives.  Sure there are problems.  There is sickness, unexpected trouble, financial problems, misunderstanding, pain and even death.  But life goes on—and it’s a shame that so many couples never enjoy life.  They keep hoping that someday they will be happy and contented, when all the bills are paid, when the kids are grown, when they retire.  But life passes by so quickly, and all they have to show for it are the wrinkles and lines on their worried faces.

The Bible says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22)

#9  Never turn to a third party in a time of trouble.

There is always someone eager to console a hurting husband or wife.  And, when there is no one to talk to at home, many go seeking a friend elsewhere—“just someone to talk to.”  That is where many instances of adultery begins.

It should be clearly stated that there is a place for professional Christian counseling.  All marriages can benefit from godly, sensible professional marriage therapy.  But ultimately, marriage partners must lean on Jesus.  Leaning in any other direction is dangerous and can lead to a fall.  Most friends will be happy to listen to either the husband or wife and share their own feelings.  Across the years we have found it far safer to come together, open our hearts to each other and to Jesus.  In so doing, our healing has been sweet, safe and long-lasting.

YOU CAN DO IT!  These simple, but foundational suggestions hopefully will be of help to you and your spouse.  Try them!  You really can make your marriage work.  

[go-diane-winchester]

How do I know Jensen hates the militant destiel shippers?

@supernaturallygayforyou said the following:​

''people may hate me and you but Jensen doesn’t. He just doesn’t like for his character to be reduced to a ship (which I have realized I’ve done and apologized for in my comments because I do actually love supernatural and the post was a joke). he doesn’t mind destiel shippers and is comfortable with hanging with jared and misha.''

I told her that Jensen hates the hellers, but apparently she didn't believe me, thus giving me the opportunity to reopen this can of worms.  First, lets identify a heller.  If you have the following vile traits, you are a heller.  If you don't, then you are a normal destiel shipper in whom we see no fault, other than your terrible taste in men.  Because seriously, Misha?  No hate though.  Just a little revulsion but no hate.  You do you.  These are heller traits:

Hellers tag their ship posts in the main tags.

Hellers accuse CW of queer baiting.

Hellers ship shame.

Hellers threaten Jensen with death.

Hellers want endgame destiel.

Hellers tweet Jared that he should die. 

Hellers threaten kidnapping, arson and poisoning.

Hellers call Jensen a homophobe.

Hellers insist Dean is anything but straight.

Hellers pretend to like Jared and Sam but secretly want both gone.

So how do I know that Jensen hates the hellers.  Lets look at the timeline:

October 2014 - NerdHQ

A bunch of horny destihellers planned to throw Astroglide on stage every time Jensen and Misha spoke.  The organizers were asked permission to bring this stuff to the event, and they notified Jensen and gang to ask for permission to allow it.  They were not given permission and Misha was excluded from the panel.  Only J2 and Mark Sheppard attended.  This is the first inkling that Jensen was getting aggravated with the hellers.

January 2017 [Jaxcon]:

A heller asked an ignorant shipping question, even though they were banned from asking shipping question.  Jensen succinctly said ''Destiel doesn't exist''.  He was bashed on social media and that is where he got the first death threat.  The homophobia accusation has been happening since 2014 and mass media is aware of it.  So essentially they are ruining Jensen's reputation.  But if I point out that Misha's ugly face is ugly, I am such a meanie, right?  The result of this relentless bullying and death threat, manifested itself, at Jibcon.  Explain to me how Jensen can like the hellers after the question, the bullying and the death threat.

May 2017 [Jibcon]:

Jensen has a breakdown during the only panel he shares with Misha, and Jared shuts the panel down early.  But hellers thought he was flirting with Misha.  The man who mocks Misha on any other day, chooses this one convention to get all sexual.  Could it be because of the online abuse and the death threat?  Could it be because he was pacifying his abusers, during the only panel where he knows they will be watching?  Nah, it must be because the bag-eyed overlord is totes irresistible.  Tell me how Jensen likes the hellers who can have such a negative effect on him.         

June 2017 [Comic Con]

Misha pulls a chair stunt that makes Jensen and Jared look like bullies.  They become aware of it.  Jensen knows what the hellers will do.  But he loves them, right?

October 2017 [Nolacon]

This was the con where J2 reiterated that Misha is NOT the lead, and the hellers went after them, calling them rape enablers for using a stale joke from previous cons.  The media got wind of it and J2 issued a statement and no apology.  The hellers got angry because they wanted separate con panels for J2 and didn't get it.  There was a rumor that they were trying to get Jared fired from the show, but I have not receipt for that.  Tell me how despite this unnecessary hurdle, Jensen still loves the fans. 

November 2017 [DCcon]

The scandal has only just subsided.  Its affect on the boys showed in the Js behavior when they took to the stage.  Jared was suffering from a manic episode [which was painful to watch] and Jensen was already angry.  The insufferable J stans were there, getting the wrong end of the stick, as per usual.  Jensen stans said Jared was being disruptive.  Jared stans fought back or said that Jared was being ''extra'' because he was trying to cheer Jensen up after the scandal.   Ironically, it was a Jensen stan who recognized that Jared was suffering from mania. 

Jensen was being patient with Jared because he has seen Jared's manic episodes and the crash that is likely to follow it.  I have to say Jensen, despite already being angry with fans for the scandal, was still very patient with Jared.  Anyone else would have been at their wits end.  Jared is very lucky to have a friend and co-worker who has so much compassion.  Especially considering the state of this panel.  Let me point out that this was the worst panel I have ever witnessed, because those were some of the most horrible attendees.  One of them told Jensen to shut up when she was given the opportunity to ask them a question.  That will give you an idea of how horrible this panel was.  The other questions were either boring or the person asking the question went off on a tangent about themselves.  I only watched it once and never again. 

This is a link to the panel, for those who mind watching Jared fall apart and Jensen looking close to driving his fist right through a wall.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOBs7Hp9FRo

At the timestamp of 15:53, this exchange happened. 

Jensen:  ''We pull our punches.  So if we do connect, its not a full... you know, its a 50% power punch.  It shouldn't knock you out, unless you have a really weak chin.  But, eh...''

Jared:  ''Like Misha.''

Jensen:  ''Well, you could just go...''  Blows out air hard and makes a splatting sound, ''Eh, I'm kidding.  We love Misha.  People will get mad at me know.'' 

The look that Jared gave Jensen showed why the episode happened.  He didn't follow up what Jensen said, with a snarky remark.  No jokes.  He just moved on but not before putting his hand on Jensen's shoulder and Jensen bit his lower lip.  They figured out that the scandal happened only because of Misha's fans.  They joined the dots beforehand.  That is why they were messed up during that panel.  Jensen's facial expression when he said that last bit.  You can tell he is completely insincere when he says they love Misha.  So Jensen knew who caused the Nolacon scandal, and why they went after him and Jared.  But he still loves the hellers, how exactly?

November 2017:  Honocon

This con was going to be destiel friendly.  The hellers were running their mouths off about it on social media.  Jensen and Misha was getting a panel together for the first time in Creation con history.  Jared would not be interfering or so they thought.  Jared threw a spanner in the works, staying on stage for longer than he was needed, fiddling around with the keyboard and the drums, disrupting the entire panel.  This time he wasn't suffering a manic attack.  This time he was doing it on purpose.  That is what you get when you anger the boys.  During J2 panel, they kept making shippy remarks about each other.  No, its not because they ship themselves.  We are not stupid like the hellers.  Straight men don't ship anything.  They were doing it to annoy the hellers.  During the Cockles panel, Jensen laughed at Misha's walk and Empty Cas voice choice.  Other than the insults flung at Misha, they just did the recycled paper airplane story.  Destiel fans are scattered around the globe and not the majority of the fans in America.  So the con didn't do well.  Honocon was never mentioned again.  Whether it pops up again in the future remains to be seen.  Despite loving the hellers, why is he essentially spitting in their face. 

December 2017: Sydney con/AHBL

J2 was in very good form during this panel, because pig-of-a-face was not attending.  Jared played guitar while Jensen and Robbie sang ''Free Falling''.  Here's an adorable tiny clip of Jared being adorably adorable while eating an egg roll.  Only 42 people watched it so shame on all of you.  Heres the link: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPE5JlGp8dg

See how happy they are when Pee puddle and his splatterings are not present.  So why didn't Jensen miss his heller fans? 

 May 2018 - Birmingham

Misha shares a panel with Jensen and Jared, and Jared places himself between the two of them.  Misha tries to pull the stupid chair stunt again, but Jared put a stop to it.  Misha picks up the topic of the shirt sharing for the heller's benefit.  Jensen throws out that he has shared underwear with Jared.  When Misha pointed out that the brothers were not affectionate people generally, J2 shot him down by saying Sam and Dean were very emotional and affectionate with each other.   Between the stripping, the mocking and the icing, Misha did not enjoy the panel.  Why is Jensen punishing his beloved heller fans.

May 2018 - Jibcon 

After Jensen's breakdown the previous year, suddenly Jibcon was no longer destiel con.  Suddenly shipping questions were banned.  Hellers bashed Daniella for that.  When the much anticipated cockles panel happened, Jared threw a spanner in the works, and crashed the panel brandishing balloons.  Hellers tore him apart on social media.  At the beginning of the panel,  Misha put his hand on Jensen's shoulder. Jensen tapped Misha on the knee and then rubbed his fingers together in a disgusted manner.  So he instantly squashed the shippy vibes Misha was pushing for.  During the panel, Jared and Jensen took the time to laugh in Misha's face whilst in character.  Why did Jensen allow his heller fans' only panel to be taken away from them? 

July 2018 - Comic Con

Jensen placed himself between Jared and Alex, and every time Misha opened his big mouth, they just pulled faces and laughed.  Doesn't he care how its going to affect his heller fans?

September 2018 - Indycon

This was the Misha-led con.  No J2 in sight.  It flopped.  Misha is consistently losing fans.  Only the really crass and tasteless ones really like him.  This has nothing to do with Jensen and his opinion of the hellers.  I just derive great pleasure in pointing this out to you.

December 2018 - Jaxcon

A heller got into an argument with Jensen during autos because she insisted Dean was bisexual whilst Jensen was saying that Dean wasn't.  Misha confirmed [as if he has the authority] that Dean is indeed bisexual.  Jensen must absolutely love the hellers after that, right?

Whatever I told you now is a brief overview.  More in-depth posts are on my blog on all these subjects, except for DC Con 2017 which I elaborated on in this post.  During 2017 and 2018, the online attacks have increased including telling Jared that they wish him dead.  This was tweeted to him.  Jensen's death threats increased to include an arson and poisoning threat.  Hellers even threatened to kidnap Jared's children.  Many of these tweets were directed to Jensen.  The receipts for all of these, are on my blog.  They are getting worse.  I fear that they might actually act of their threats one day.  The threats start from mistagged posts which is why I always call those out.  Stay on your lane and you will offend nobody. 

To summarize:

Jensen hates the hellers because they threatened to kill him, in various ways, ruined his reputation by accusing him of homophobia and threatening to kidnap Jared's children whilst also hoping that Jared would die along with Sam.  Oh, and Misha is ugly.  The End. 

[voidselfshipp]

1, 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, 11, 13, and 14 for Geralt on the number ask game uwu

H o l y s h i t t y

1)Love confession

Geralt was struggling to stand up, as his drunk ass stumbles along every pebble in existence.

-Jerico,imma ...im going to be honest with you...-

-Oh boi here we go...-

-Your horns make me horny...-

-What?!-

-I love you , you dumbass...-the witcher mumbles before falling face to the ground.

Well...they do say that drunk people tell the truth...

3)First date

Both walk along the waterfalls, the dragons Valley is jericos home, geralt and him talk about how beautiful the place is, and jeri tells the tales of how was living here before humans started to hunt them

-Thank you for this date...it was beautiful to be back home after so Long...-

-no need to thank me , love-

4)First meeting

Geralt walks along the market, there was someone who needed help , and the payment was huge, so of course, geralt took it.

-I came here for the job, you are jerico , right?, you need to recover a bounty that was stolen for you-

-Yes...-the Man says taking off his robe, showing his dragon wings, tail and horns.

-You..are a dragonborn?-

-Yes, and very few of us are left, now witcher, come in,there is a lot of explaining to do...-

6)Stargazing

The night is calm, no monsters to fight, the Sky is clear and all the stars shine brightly.

-Thats the virgo constellartion- jerico says- and thats aries, the little dipper and...-

-Draco- geralt ends his girlfriends phrase-thats where you get your dragon name from?-

Jeri shakes her head.

-I got it from the ancient terran spark goddes,Draco, the creator of the sun goddes, elementus-

-That is a myth if I ever heard one-

-Well so are dragonborns , and here I am-

8 )Going shopping together

-oh my ! Look at that beautiful red robe!-

-geralt could you please make your girlfriend,Friends with benefits, sugar baby , idontknowwhat stop wasting my money?-

-You owe her this, you broke her magic device,pay up-geralt says with a smug grin.

-I fucking hate you-the Bard says.

-Jaskier!, over here come!-

-Oh my fucking god there goes my money!-

9) Helping the other dry and brush their hair after a shower

-Turn around geralt-jerico says as she grabs the hairbrush and towel- im going to leave your hair looking like the own gods brushed it!-

-Try not to leave me bald,Will you..?-

-I dont promise anything-

11) It is raining heavily and only one person has an umbrella, so they decide to walk the other one home

(This is modern! Geralt)

-Come on jeri, its raining like crazy, let me walk you home-

-I can cover myself with my wings--

Geralt opens his umbrella and walks with jerico.

-You persistent bitch-

13)Buying something because the other would like it and giving it to them as a gift later on

-Id love to have one of those fancy dragonbreath gems, my people used it to decorate necklaces ...it brings me so much nostalgia....but its so expersive...-jerico comments as they walk with geralt, looking down as memories flood their mind.

The Next couple of weeks geralt works his ass off to buy jeri their little gem they want, one day , the witcher tells them to close their eyes, he hand them a box and when jeri opens it there it is, the gem as a beautiful necklace.

-Surprise!-

14)Sucking helium from balloons, talking in very high-pitched voices and laughing at each other

Modern!au.

-And so I told him-- why are you laughing?-geralt asks as jerico bangs his fist against the table with tears of laughter.

-I cant take you seriously!,im sorry!-jeri laughs and his pitch is so high geralt cant help but start to cackle, eventually the both of them a re a laughing, high pitched mess.

Ty for the ask!!

[yoyo-inspace]

13, 27, 33

EDIT: tried to post these before but apparently I drafted it instead. Whoops. Sorry @bounding-heart​! 

Saving 13 for last because then I can put it behind a Read More for spoiler reasons! 

27. Top 5 brotps

These were the first ones that came to mind and I’m kinda sad there aren’t any female friendship BrOTPs on the list, but I’m tired and I can’t be bothered to wrack my head for any more.

1. Donna & Ten (Doctor Who) They have to this day remained one of my favourite TARDIS teams. They’re an absolute joy to watch together, even in episodes I don’t like that much. I’ll forever be sad about how it all ended - somewhere out there I’m sure there’s a timeline where they really did end up traveling together forever. Also, Catherine Tate and David Tennant together anywhere are an absolute powerhouse. 

2. Teal’c & Jack O’Neill (Stargate SG-1) I think one of Stargate’s strongest suits have always been how they truly managed to build believable relationships and specifically friendships (and found family) over the course of the show. And the relationship between Jack and Teal’c is definitely evidence of that. They’re just so good together, and they care so much about each other. The moment Teal’c proves where his loyalties are and O’Neill is immediately going to stand by him through everything, because that’s the kind of person Jack is. And likewise for Teal’c, he’d do anything for O’Neill. They have such a unique understanding of each other, and I honestly think it’s one of the strongest relationships in the show. 

3. Greed & Ling (Fullmetal Alchemist)This is one of those relationships where I kind of read it multiple ways depending on what mood I’m in, but for now, let’s come at it from the BrOTP angle. A lot of the best relationships that I love are about people who improve each other in different ways, and compliment each other, especially in BrOTPs. These two certainly do. They’re also surprisingly similar in many ways, and they push each other to be the best versions of themselves (which takes a bit longer for Greed than it does for Ling, but he gets there in the end). 

4. Sam & Daniel (Stargate SG-1) I did say Stargate has some strong friendships, didn’t I? So they get TWO entries on this list. I know, a little unfair, but it’s my list, so my rules. Sam and Daniel are like, almost literally siblings in my eyes. They bicker like siblings, take care of each other like siblings and they support each other like it as well. I wish the show had shown their friendship even more honestly, but it’s one of my favourites to explore in fanfics and such. Also, I will forever be bitter about the fact that Sam is the only one who didn’t get a visit from Ascended Daniel. #Rude

5. Lee and Iorek (His Dark Materials)Sometimes, a family is a man, a hare and a bear in a balloon, alright? Look, we don’t get much of these in the original book, though even the little we get always point out how much they care about each other. And then we got an entire book ONLY DEDICATED TO THEIR AWESOME FRIENDSHIP. Considering how difficult it is to win a bear’s trust, imagine how hard it is to gain a bear’s friendship and loyalty. Lee’s special like that. Even if Iorek has his own special way of honouring it. 

33. Top 5 episodes

Of everything ever?! Well, that’s not difficult or anything. Here I actually gave myself the rule of one episode per show. Because otherwise it’s IMPOSSIBLE. 

1. Black Sails 4x09Yes, the Black Sails finale is amazing, and nearly took this spot. But in many ways its the epilogue to what actually culminates in this penultimate episode. Everything happens in, constantly. It does not let you rest, because even when things are still, you’re worried about the character. It’s a masterfully written, directed and acted episode, across the board, and one of the strongest episodes the show has - though it of course has the benefit of building on everything that came before it.

2. Heaven Sent - Doctor WhoI knew this was going to be on the list. My absolute favourite episode from one of my absolute favourite shows. Like the episode above, it’s brilliantly written, directed and acted - except the acting is done by a single person. And yes, this is one of those episodes I can watch over and over again and still enjoy it just as much if not more than the first time. As Rachel Talalay said - it’s poetry in the form of an episode, and I think that goes for all three of those aspects (acting, writing, directing). The music is also incredible. It has it all - as well as for me one of the most compelling emotional hooks in Doctor Who. 

3. Hard Times - Good OmensThis might only be on here for recency reasons, but bear with me. I thought I knew just what to expect from the Good Omens TV show. This episode certainly threw me for a loop in the best possible way. While I can’t really speak quality wise, it’s definitely my favourite episode of the show, and no, not only because I’m a massive shipper, though that’s certainly a part of it. I just also love creative story telling and television making, and this episode does both. Having the intro halfway into the episode? Brilliant, love it. Juxtaposing their growing friendship with the break-up at the end? Great. Also period costumes. Period costumes everywhere. 

4. Meridian - Stargate SG-1It’s certainly not the best episodes of Stargate, and I don’t even know if I can say it’s my absolute favourite at any given time, but it’s definitely an episode that had and has a huge emotional impact on me, and one I keep returning to even when it breaks my heart. I do think the acting in it is superb, and it’s a wonderful closure for a character (which also opens up to new possibilities). But how it makes me cry.

5. Sakura and the Final Judgment - Cardcaptor SakuraI knew I wanted some kind of anime in here, but it’s difficult. Anime have shorter episodes, their storyline endings or build-ups usually play out over multiple episode. I couldn’t pick just one FMAB episode, I’d have to pick ten if I wanted to represent a full part of the story. But I wanted to have one, and so I took another one that had a huge impact on me. That is the season finale of s2 of Cardcaptor Sakura, and really, the ‘end’ of that part of the story. Sakura cheering herself on in the face of failure, herself coming to support her, her using her ‘spell’ of simply saying that everything will be alright, because of how much she believes that. Let’s just say this one hits home a lot, and it encapsulates so many of the reasons why CCS has meant so much to me.  

Honorable mention: Probably something from the upcoming HBO show, I can already say that with confidence. 

ALRIGHT, TOP 5 DEAD CHARACTERS COMING UP. Will contain spoilers for: Harry Potter, xxxHolic, Fullmetal Alchemist, The Book Thief. 

13. Top 5 dead characters

1. Albus Dumbledore - Harry PotterNo matter what people might think of Dumbledore, fact remains that I have never cried as much or as long for the death of a fictional character. I do love him, flaws and all, and when he died, I was literally inconsolable for the entire evening. My dad read that chapter to me and had to sit and like hug me for an hour or something. I was bawling. I know we’re not ranking top death scenes or anything, but I think not even I was prepared for how strongly I was going to react to it, but it does indicate how much that character meant, and still means to me. 

2. Van Hohenheim - Fullmetal Alchemist While on the subject of Problematic Father Figures, here’s one more. God, Hohenheim makes me cry. Just. Everything about him. He tries so hard where it really matters and still he can’t quite seem to get there. He was, in so many ways, a tragic victim of circumstance, who never thought he’d learn to love again. I have so many headcanons about him and Trisha, but honestly, what we get from them is absolutely phenomenal on its own. And in the end, he could be there for his boys, even if he couldn’t keep his promise to Trisha. I have a soft spot for immortal characters who end up finding the will to live again through fleeting human lives, alright? (Also, Hohenheim suffers from glasses flare syndrome, where even if he’s crying or happy, no one will know because of his impenetrable anime glare). 

3. Severus Snape - Harry PotterYes, yes, I know, problematic character, yadda yadda. Don’t want to hear it right now, alright? Tired of having to dedicate an entire paragraph defending my reasonings for putting Snape in just about anything. To sum it down, it’s a character that means a lot to me, he’s dead, and that’s why he’s on this list. 

4. Yuuko Ichihara - xxxHolicThe Space-Time Witch herself. Isn’t it awkward when you die and then your boyfriend just happens to be so powerful that even when he just, humanly enough, wishes for a moment that you’d still be alive, he accidentally brings you back to life, and then you both have to spend the rest of your lives trying to pay for that mistake and all the lives it affected because it kind of fucked up the space time continuum? And at the same time you manage to be an absolute powerhouse of a character? Because she is. Yuuko might not be alive, but she lives life to its fullest even when she’s not. 

5. Rudy Steiner - The Book ThiefI mean, I did say earlier that Dumbledore is the character who’s death I’ve cried the most for, and that’s true. But this book is definitely the BOOK where I’ve cried the most. I can just open a random page and start bawling. Every character who dies in that book could technically make it on to this list. I did almost put Hans on, but honestly? Rudy is part of the heart and soul of that book, and his death feels so much more of a robbery of life. I love him, that little boy with the lemon-coloured hair. “How about a kiss, Saumensch?” 

[victorluvsalice]

GUESS. WHO. COULDN’T. USE. THE. FIRE. TO. ROAST. WEENIES.

I have NO CLUE why, either. Both Emmett and Nikal acted like they couldn’t reach the fire whenever I told them to get roasting! I moved it around a few times, but nothing doing! They could interact with the fire in other ways -- warming themselves, telling stories -- but using it for its intended purpose during this shindig? Nothing doing. *grumble*

So, I decided our party-goers would do something else to see out summer -- a nice water balloon fight! Everyone likes those, right? Certainly Emmett and Nikal do. And that went well for a while -- lots of splashing, and taunting, and. . .weird bright lights?

YES LOOK WHO’S BACK. Just like that, Emmett was getting yanked into the sky by another one of those damn UFOs! Looking back at it with the benefit of a few week’s hindsight, I realize that this is probably because both he and Nikal are scientists and have contacted aliens with their satellite dishes, but still! My only thought at the time was “NO NO NO I HAVE NO ROOM FOR AN ALIEN BABY IN THIS HOUSE!” *facepalm* Oh game, why do you do this to me. . .

So, uh, how did everyone take one of the hosts being plucked from the party by extraterrestrials right in the middle of their party?

[jack-andthestalk]

Stuck on you, Boxercise, Chapter 7.

Huge thanks to @balfeheughlywed who made this chapter happen. Also @pissedoffsoka13 has made a fab moodboard which I can’t post properly but I hope this version does it some justice.

 Rupert and Jamie were speaking in loud whispers outside my room. I tried lifting my weight onto my elbow to pull myself up but a clicking sound ripped up my hip and I fell back down suddenly, stifling a groan.

“Claire dinna be moving” Geillis scolded from the other side of the room.

 “Why wasna Claire in work?” I could hear Jamie ask Rupert.

Rupert made a low whistling sound “Ye mean to tell me ye dinna hear…weel…Geillis knocked her out last night at their exercise class” Rupert raveled out in hushed dramatic tones.

“I had to help her to go for a pish this morning, her arse is black and blue” Rupert explained animatedly. I rolled my eyes and cursed him internally; the bastard was living and breathing this story. Jamie muttered something that I couldn’t understand or hear in gaelic and Rupert’s voice took on a higher pitch as if someone was strangling him“ it isna like that man, I didna look at her arse, Geillis told me” Rupert stated, vindicating his account of my ‘accident’.

 Geillis was remaining unusually quiet beside me, her ear cocked so she could eavesdrop the conversation the other side of the door, “ooh yer knight in shining armor has arrived I see” she teased, sitting on the end of my bed. “He will probably blame me…” she continued indignantly, holding her hand over her heart in mock horror.

 “Well it was you who threw the punch!” I said widening my eyes at her.

Jamie was continuing his interrogation with Rupert outside.

 “What do ye mean she was knocked out? Did ye no bring her into the hospital ya fool?”

 Rupert laughed heartily before answering “Och god no, according to the good Doctor she is braw, even though she can’t pish without assistance and her eye is up like a balloon” His tone dripping in sarcasm.

Jamie’s voice stuttered slightly when I heard him ask “Is she on her own in there?”, A snort from Rupert, followed by “aye ye needna worry, her fella is away on some sort of training thing all week, the red haired boxer is keep’n vigil just now…”

There was more shuffling outside my door followed by “Claire its me can I come in?” Fantastic, Jamie in my bedroom while I garnered a black eye and was completely incapacitated!

 “och do come in Foxy” Gellis crooned out.

 Jamie opened the door and stood mouth agape before making it across the room in two strides to loom over me in the bed. “Christ Sassenach what in god’s name happened?” His hand automatically bent down to cup my cheek and his thumb gently stroked below the eye that had the black, green bruise circling it.

“It was the boxercise class…I dinna mean it”, Gellis answered voice full of virtue.  “She was meant to swipe left...I got confused and hit her in the face…she went flying across the floor and landed on her arse” Gellis breathed in deeply, an arrogant smile on her lips.

“Tell ye the truth fox, the instructor said he had never seen a punch like it, isna that right Claire?” she had dreamy look in her eye, and beaming with pride. “reckons I have a right bonnie swing….”

“Where is the pain?” Jamie interrupted, shooting Gellis a dirty look. He was looking up and down the length of my body, trying to assess the damage.

“My arse” I made an attempt at a rueful smile, but my cheeks were blazing. His lip curled up into a smirk and he bent his head down to me tenderly, whispering “now that would be an awful shame if anything happened to tha lovely thing Sassenach” making an attempt at a wink. “is it yer coxic bone then do ye think?” he said a bit louder for Gellis’s benefit.

“Aye” Gellis interjected “her arse is black and blue, I dinna think its broke though” she stated absently, while filing her finger nails and reclaiming her seat at the end of my bed.

 “Gellis” Jamie said exasperatingly “She needs to get an x-ray it could be broke…or” before he could continue I cut him off “I am not going into A&E to have my arse x-rayed Jamie…I know fine well it is just badly bruised.”

 He opened his mouth to speak again and I turned my head away sulkily “if you are here to annoy me about going to hospital then you may go, I have a big enough pain in my arse without you turning into one.”

 “yer so stubborn” he breathed out, then reaching his decision he clapped his hands together and said “right well if ye think it’s bruised there are some things we can do, aye? But first do ye have any arnica I can put on yer wee face”

“Its fine Jamie, I don’t need…” I started to protest but before I could continue, Gellis clearly now bored with her victim stood and sighed dramatically. “il leave the fox to tend ye then Claire…Rupert and I are gonna grab a pint”

“Geillis” I hissed warningly, “I can’t even make it to the toilet!” my eyebrows raised in emphasis.

“Dinna fret Claire” Gellis hummed, “I’m sure the fox will be happy to link ye to the ladies room, won’t ya fox?” she asked Jamie pointedly, wriggling her eyes suggestively.

 “I’d be happy to………” seeing the panic in my face he continued “or else I will call an ambulance and they’ll put ye face down on a trolley roll’n ye into A&E with yer arse in the air!” he threatened.

 I sighed resigning myself to Jamie’s stubbornness, and nodded obediently “ok, Arnica in my medical kit in the kitchen, ask Rupert”

A prim smile spread across his face and he turned on his heel in pursuit of Rupert

Gellis blew me a kiss, and groped one of her breasts before skipping out the door.

He returned a few minutes later with some spare pillows, the arnica and a hot water bottle. My vulnerability caused a lump to form in my throat at his thoughtfulness, but I pushed it away quickly before it was visible on my face.

He sat on one side of the bed and spread some of the arnica gel on his hand, then gently applied a little under my eye. “I can do this myself Jamie” I croaked out.

He shook his head.

“Ye can’t see where the bruising is, il do it, his tongue resting lightly on his bottom lip in concentration. Once he had applied it, he sat back a little and said, I am going to get ye sitting up a bit and take the pressure of yer lower back.  Ok”?

 I nodded again.

 “Now put yer arms around my neck and when I get ye to a sitting up position try and stay that way while I get these pillows under yer lower back, aye?”

I nodded again, biting my bottom lip trying to hide the smile threatening to turn into a laugh at Jamie’s practiced bedside manner.

“on the count of three…” he started. He leaned over me in a sitting position, taking both my arms and throwing them over his shoulders, pulling me up with him. I let out a low moan, at the movement and he shot me an anxious look. “did I hurt ye?”

“no no its fine, I am just really stiff”. Sitting up now we were face to face. Stock still for a minute and Jamie’s eyes wandered from my eyes over my cheek bones to my lips. For a fleeting second I thought he was going to lean in further, so I darted my head down suddenly to look at my bedspread and banged my head off his nose, causing him to yelp suddenly. “Christ ye broke my nose” he said indignantly. I took back my arms from around his shoulders, “If I broke your nose, you would be bleeding like a pig, so I think you’ll live Fraser”

He smirked and smoothed back an errant curl from my face. The bit of my cheek that wasn’t black and blue was burning crimson from his touch and I started fiddling with my hands, an nonsensical giggle built steadily from my belly until a laugh escaped my mouth and I shook my head, looking back up at Jamie.

“What?” He said smiling back, his eyes sparkling with the urge to laugh with me, “are ye laughing at me?”

 “Yes…both of us” I said through gasped giggles, “This is weird” I eventually blurted out and held my sides trying to control my breathing. I began breathing again through my nose heavily to catch my breath, tears of laughter stinging my eyes.

“Claire!” ye are delirious “what is weird?” Jamie eyebrows crinkled in confusion, an amused smile cracking his face.

“This” I said blowing air in and out my mouth through laughter. “us” my hand pointed between him and me “ you and me” I continued, “you nursing me, you on my bed….Its just so weird”

He laughed softly then and looked to his hands which through their own accord had risen and were resting on my knees over the duvet. “I dinna ken how to not be weird” he said smiling at me “I get weird when I’m around ye”

I shook my head, grinning “Oh I see I make you weird? Hmm is that right?”

He nodded solemnly holding back the cheeky smirk. “Ye do, its isna my fault ye have a terrible effect on me”

I rolled my eyes “and how do you manage around other women? Hmm, are you weird around them all?”

“no just you!” he retorted, laughing at my outraged face.

“Well maybe you should stay clear of me then” I huffily replied crossing my arms.

“I canna” Jamie said laughing softly, tilting his head and looking at me intently.

“Well at least it only applies to me so it shouldn’t affect your pulling power?” I winked at him teasingly.

“Pulling power?” Jamie repeated eyebrow cocked questioningly.

“You know I said” breathing out impatiently “that’s what Rupert calls it…on the pull, getting a hit, hook up…women etc etc” I explained smiling.

“I couldna tell ye, I havna pulled anyone in a vera long time Claire” Jamie has said it jokily but as soon as it was out I could see the significance of what he said darning on him.

I narrowed my eyes “eh I somehow doubt that Fraser”

He sat up straight, his cheeks had a steady blush growing up them.

“ye dinna believe me?” he asked looking completely offended.

I shook my head and bit my bottom lip trying not to laugh at him. This only incensed him further. “Why do ye no believe me?”

I knew my eyes were sparkling with devilment and tears from earlier laughing. “ok” I said folding my arms “how long have you been celibate and I will decide if I believe you.”

A bright blush ran up his cheeks and his mouth opened to speak but he shut it again.

“See” I concluded. “You don’t even know how long…”

He stood up suddenly and busied himself with pillows behind my back, I thought the topic was over. He took me gently by the forearms and lay be back down in a much more comfortable position. I could feel the heat of the hot water bottle at my lower back. I sighed in bliss. “thank you Jamie, that feels so much better.”

He smiled down at me softly and said. “Two years”

I crinkled my eyes in confusion “What two years?”.

Jamie was biting the side of his mouth looking slightly uncomfortable. “It’s been two years since I lay with someone”

My eyes widened and my mouth opened to say something but before I could he leaned down to my ear and whispered.

“nobody since you.”

My mind was whirling a mile a minute, but the one word that was screaming louder than all the rest was why.

And that is what blurted out of my mouth without me even realising it. “Why Jamie?” I croaked.

He shook his head incredulously, “because what would be the point Claire?”

Seeing my incomprehension written all over my face, he swallowed, cleared his throat, he slowly crouched down and sat beside me on the bed. He looked down at my clenched fist, shyly, meeting my eye for consent before carefully unfolding my fist, laying my palm straight before placing his own palm over it. I looked down briefly at our joined hands, brushing all thoughts of wrongness from my mind as I had to hear what he said next, I simply couldn’t do without. My heart was beating so fast it was drumming in my ears.

“I had a woman that made me burn from just looking at her, made my knees weak from want of her, and when she took me to bed she held my whole heart in her hands.”

“Jamie” I rasped, pleadingly. His eyes raked over my body, that sent a shiver down my spine and warmth pool through my belly. “Do ye ken what that is, to have that? And then for it to be gone through nobody’s fault but my own and no for  certain that no other woman will make ye feel like that again?”

I reached up and cupped his cheek, he looked so sorrowful I had to comfort him, his eyes bore into mine, “Jamie you will have that again, you just havn’t met the right person…” I was about to continue but he just shook his head. “Nay Sassenach, youre my soulmate…there is one for each of us, and yer mine.” I could hear him try to reign in the possessiveness and merely state it as fact.

“You can’t think like that Jamie” I breathed, “it won’t help”

“I can I have to, it’s the reason I am here Claire, in London. For you.” He said firmly.