#well. kinda bad idea to post this right after introducing sparkle..this is a horrible first impression of their relationship 😭

[starbluethunder]

a (failed) attempt to mend things

[forever-more-never-again]

Gone (Part Two)

Pairing: Natasha X Reader

Word Count:1563

Warnings: None?

A/n: I decided to make a part two. Thanks to those who requested it. I wasn’t happy with how the first part ended and I hope this makes up for it. All the fluff in this one

Part One

Masterlist

You spent a week in the hospital. The burns on your skin never faded, a stark contrast to the you that you remembered. The red haired woman tried to come by several times, but each time you freaked out enough that the Nurses had to request she stay away.

You had begged for a phone and called your house, but a strange man picked up and said that you had not lived there for the past four years.

You had tried to call your mother, but the number was disconnected.

And then, eventually, you realized that it was really 2016 and you had lost your memory. Guilt hit you like a freight truck. The redhead woman was obviously someone in your current life. But you couldn’t remember her at all.

“Well, you are all set to be released, do you have anyone that you want us to contact?” The nurse asked, her eyes swimming with sympathy.

You bit your lip as you wracked your brain, there was no one if your mother was dead. Except, “That woman that brought me in, Natasha, if you could.” You settled on.

Two hours later, as you were putting on normal clothes, you heard the door to your hospital room open.

“[Y/n]?”

You felt your heart flutter at the soft, feminine voice. She had a hold on your emotions, but you didn’t know what, how or why.

Turning, you attempted a smile at Natasha, “Hi. I didn’t know who else to call. I don’t know where to go. My house is owned by a very ungracious man.” you frowned, recalling how mean he was on the phone.

Natasha didn’t smile as she walked over and stood in front of you, “You live with me in the Avengers tower. I uh, I told the team about your amnesia. Tony and Bruce are trying to work on a way to help jog your memories.”

“Tony? Bruce? Who are you talking about?” You shook your head, “Nevermind. I’ll uh, I’ll trust you.”

Natasha smiled a sad smile at that, drawing your attention to her ruby red lips. You had an urge to lean in and kiss them. You resisted. What was going on?

“Woah this place is huge!” You exclaimed, twirling around as your eyes tried to take in everything. You were in what Natasha called the ‘common room’ of the tower. It was gorgeous, filled with high tech equipment, a giant tv and a bunch of bean bag chairs.

Flopping into one, you twitched your fingers and the TV cackled to life. “What the hell?” You murmured, looking at your fingers which sparkled with little sparks of silver and gold. The same color as your hair.

“Seems you remember how to use your powers.” You jumped back up and in a defensive post at the new voice. Looking over you saw a short brown haired man in a suit standing next to Natasha, a smirk on his face.

“Who are you?” You asked, panic rising in you. This was a bad idea, you should have gone to a hotel and tried to figure things out for yourself instead of going with someone who claimed to know who you were.

Natasha noticed your panic and rushed over to you, gripping your hand, “It’s okay, that’s just Tony.” She turned to glare at the man who looked abashed, “I told you they had amnesia and that’s how you introduce yourself? God Tony, you can be dense for being a genius.”

You oddly enough, felt comforted by the close proximity of Natasha and untensed, loosening your muscles.

Tony sighed, shaking his head, “Anyways, I came to tell you that Bruce and I think we found a way to bring back [Y/n]’s memories.”

You perked up at that, “That would be nice, not knowing is kinda freaking me out a little.” You let out a nervous laugh.

You felt a squeeze on your hand and glanced down to where Natasha’s hand held onto yours. Glancing up uncertainty at the redhead.

She stood there, beside you, and your heart was thumping so fast, you thought it would jump out of your chest. Why did you react this way around her?

You hoped to find out when you got your memories back.

Walking hand in hand with Natasha down the hallways felt right, as you both followed the man she called Tony into a Lab.

There, you were met with another man, this one wearing glasses and appearing to be scared of his own shadow.

“Hello [Y/n], it’s so good to see you up and walking after that horrible accident.”

You turned to Natasha, “That’s right, I never could get anyone to tell me how I lost my memories after you left.”

Natasha’s green eyes looked wet as she sighed, “We were sent to Sweden on a mission, and you were tasked with short circuiting any vehicles. You jumped on a boat, and while you were pulsing with electricity, you got shot and fell into a river. For your powers, water is the number one enemy. After all electricity and water don’t mix well.”

You nodded, remembering how your fingers sparked. You put a hand in front of your face and tried to call forth the sparks.

Gasping in delight, you watched the electricity run through your fingers.

The three people in the room with you, watched with varying degrees of happiness and sadness.

Eventually Tony caught your attention again, “Alright [Y/n], we need you to sit in this chair here.” He pointed to a chair that looked like something out of medieval times.

“Are you planning on electrocuting me?” You joked, smiling at him as you walked over to the chair, natasha letting go of your hand. But your smile fell away when Tony and the nerdy guy shared an uncomfortable look with each other. You gasped and pointed, “You’re going to electrocute me!” You accused.

Natasha beseeched you, her voice instantly calming you, “[Y/n], please.”

You dropped your head in defeat as you sat down with a grumble.

Tony laughed, “Oh come on, this is what you live for. The adventure and excitement. I distinctly remember a time when you purposely angered the Hulk just so that he would play King Kong with you on the roof of the tower.”

You groaned, “Tony, or whoever you name is, I have no clue what you are talking about.”

That sobered Tony up. His smile sliding off his face as he turned away for a moment. You instantly felt guilty at ruining his mood, but you were tired of people talking about your life and who you were when you couldn’t recall what they were talking about.

“Flip the switch Bruce.” Tony called out.

You felt your muscles tense up and you closed your eyes as a hum began building up.

Clutching onto the arms of the chair, you were surprised when instead of blinding pain, you were met with a feeling almost like a blanket covering you.

Opening your eyes cautiously, you saw the silver and gold color of your hair and the sparks encircling you on the chair.

“Oh my god.” You whispered, mouth stretching into a smile and eventually breaking out into laughter as you hands weaved through the sparks flying around you.

Your eyes tracked the colors as they flew around you. Your mind clear of everything for a moment.

And then your body jerked. Your brain felt like a watermelon being squeezed.

“AHHH!” You screamed, hands leaving the sparks to clench your head.

“Stop it! You’re hurting them!” You head Natasha yell out. It sounded as if it was coming from down a long hallway.

You managed to open your mouth and shout back, “No! Don’t! It’s working!” And it was, you saw snippets of your life flashing before you eyes, hazy and coated in a sheen of silver and gold, but it was your life.

Memories of missions, and jokes. Laying in bed with Natasha, your hands running through her hair. Tears and laughter. Nightmares and bullet wounds. You felt all four years that you had lost slam back into you at full force.

And then there was silence. The machine turned off.

Your eyes refocused to the present day and time. And was met with three sets of eyes staring at you expectantly.

You stood up off the chair and crossed the room slowly.

Upon reaching Natasha, you tilted up and took one hand, reaching around to cradle the back of her head and brought her face down to yours.

You pressed your lips against hers in a searing kiss, the shock of your actions fading from Natasha’s muscles as she melted with you.

Your hand gripped a handful of her red hair, tugging her closer.

You broke apart, and saw your tears mirrored on her cheeks.

“I’d say they got their memories back.” Tony voiced from behind you.

You didn’t turn away, keeping your eyes on Natasha’s. Gazing at her with all the love you could.

“I’m sorry I was impulsive and got on the boat.” You whispered to her.

She chuckled, the sound wet as more tears slid down her cheeks. “Don’t apologize. I’m just happy you’re back.”

You smiled at her, “I’m back. I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”

“I love you too, [Y/n]. I always will.”

FOREVER taglist:

@sxph-t @littlestfangirl @rainydaysrnevergrey @not-jk-rowling @sociallyawkwardcircus-freak-hi @ayyidkeither

Natasha taglist:

@ludwigvonbaethoven @hanjiscience-slut @kitten-q-p @morbid-gaymer @honeybadgerwhodoesntcare @sunnyandtwisty @zoeyknight

Avengers Taglist:

@jadepc

[indi-flying-with-dragons]

(Get ready!) 1. Any scars? 4. Kissed anyone? 5. Coke or Pepsi? 6. Someone you hate? 7. Best friends? 8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs? 9. What’s your dream job? 13. Height? 18. Obsession? 19. If you had one wish, what would it be? 21. Kiss or hug? 22. Nicknames people call you? 23. Favorite song? 24. Favorite band? 26. Best thing that has ever happened to you? 27. Something you would change about yourself? 30. Watch the movie or read the book? 32. Favorite show?

[Continued]

(Same anon continued!) 35. Do you wish you could ever start over? 36. Any bad habits? 37. Ever had a near death experience? 38. Someone you can tell anything to? 41. Someone you hate/dislike? 42. Are you okay?

WOW… you’re certainly a…. enthusiastic anon eh? e.o *mind boggled* Let me… let me reply to all these. As brief as possible. E^E….Geesh. 24 different questions. Damn… My apologies to everyone. This is gonna be a LONG POST. e.o

Btw THANKS FOR ASKING :D *GLOMPAGES* X3 *hug-SQUISH*

Long post below! O.e

1. Any scars?

Um, I have two on my head, right behind my ears at different heights from my two different cochlear implant surgeries to install the internal parts into my head so the external processors will work. When my hair is short it looks like someone purposefully buzzed a line through my hair there, lol, but it’s natural from the surgery when I was 7 and 11 years old respectively.

And since I heal very well, my scars are real hard to see. I still have a faint one on my thumb, at the base of the last joint to the front of it, and one along the left side of my middle finger (both fingers on my right hand) that is still rough and keeps peeling a lot even now, years after the event.

Those I got from a random-ass exploding lightbulb that I was screwing in, had MADE SURE the lamp was off both at the wall and at the lamp itself (though I didn’t unplug it because I didn’t think I needed to…), but nope I had screwed it in one too many times, saw a BRIGHT FLASH OF LIGHT, and then it exploded, glass everywhere, and somehow only got hit on my index finger, middle finger, and thumb. ONLY there! Even to this day my engineer mother is completely baffled as to how that happened.

4. Kissed anyone?

Yes. My first ever kiss[es] was with an enthusiastic sloppy and awkward boy during a yearly dance when I was in highschool (I was unschooling and going to the Voyagers Homeschooling Co-op and they hosted yearly dances). Five French kisses are not my idea of a good first kiss ever!

My second ever person to kiss was … well. *blush and funny deadpan with crossed arms* He knows who he is. Since apparently I keep totally forgetting it somehow until he mentions it in a teasing fashion and yes we did date for a short while there before breaking up and remaining friends.

My third and remainder of kisses are thoroughly claimed by my handsome, hot boyfriend. -w-

5. Coke or Pepsi?

Coke. ALL. THE. WAY.

Blame my awesome grandmother (R.I.P.) who had 4 pm be coca cola time every day. :D She got me on coke early. …NOT COCAINE! Yeesh. Dirty minds. She also introduced me to my love of dragons and she was awesomely supportive and adoring of my artwork. :3 Since she was hard of hearing from old age and I was born hard of hearing, we got along well with having the TV on a comfortable loudness (for us). x3

…Damn just thinking about coca cola makes me think of her. :,) I even drank a whole 1 liter glass bottle of coke we got at a Mexican food store nearby for her funeral fiesta since she wanted a party for a funeral, not a sad dirge. :3 https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ea/51/da/ea51da750fc136a655021c558b7c28c5.jpg Yes this one. XD I drank it all in under an hour in her honor and memory. I was so thirsty and so proud. XD I still have the empty bottle. x3

6. Someone you hate?

IDK… Hmm… I’m not one to really hate people. It’s such a strong emotion… I always thought of it as a “I want you to instantly die, right here and right now!” kind of emotion. So I don’t really hate people.

…I DO know of someone I would… honestly NOT be sad if she died. Considering she caused a hellava LOT of suffering and torment for my friend. I’d be sad because my friend would be sad, BUT I wouldn’t be sad because I actually missed her or regretted her death in any way.

7. Best friends?

Oh gosh. :3 Off the top of my head @destan-of-the-shadows and @faes-hiding-place :D my boyfriend counts too! Two RL friends I can meet with at times are more friends than “best” friends but I still count them as my friends because we’ve been friends since like 5th or 6th Grade in Middle School when we were all like 11 or 12 years old. :D I’m 22 now so see how long we’ve been friends. :D

8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs?

NO drugs! The only thing that counts as alcohol is that couple sips of champagne at my cousin’s wedding when the servers mistakenly forgot to give us kids sparkling apple cider instead of champagne. Oops. XD We of course took great advantage of sipping as much as we could before they removed it. ;D It tasted HORRIBLE though. X_X What’s the appeal? IDK!

I drank some sips of other people’s drinks when I turned 21 but I absolutely HATE and CANNOT STAND the horribly bitter taste of alcohol (even in the sweetest mixed drinks it is strong and proud there when nobody else can taste it). Even if it’s burned off when used in a cheese fondue, that HORRIBLE bitterness remains. Bitter like the rotting corpse of a dying animal.

No thank you. I don’t ever want to drink again. X_X

9. What’s your dream job?

…. :,,,( I’ve not thought about this in ages… since I had to give up a lot of my “dream jobs” and “dream life” in order to make peace with the chronically ill life I have now. The grieving process was hard.

Goodbye my aspirations of being a geneticist, a psychologist, or even a therapist. Hello my life goals of being a professional artist and published author. :3

13. Height? 

5'10". 5 feet, 10 inches. -w- … I really wish I was taller than my dad though. *grumble* He’s 6 feet. At least I’m an inch taller than my MOM. -^-

18. Obsession? 

Oh dear. Which one? XD Take your pick. ;D I have: dragons, wings, flight, flying, cats/felines, biology, psychology, discussing the universe, astrology, culture, world-building, magic, art (as in drawing and coloring), writing, daydreaming, reading, listening to music, and cuddling with my boyfriend in a literal Netflix and chill. -w-

19. If you had one wish, what would it be?

…. *blinks and sighs* … It’d either be to be healthy again so I wouldn’t have this chronic illness (but would still keep my being deaf and hard of hearing because I LIKE THAT PART)… or to go back home, to my home world where my soul came from.

Yeah. XP

21. Kiss or hug? 

Hug. :3 Preferably cuddle. :D  

22. Nicknames people call you?

Indi-bindy-bo (You know who you are

23. Favorite song?

OH GEEZE. Hard to answer! XD … My favorite song of ALL time that I will ALWAYS love, have always loved, and might as well be my theme song for the sake of it? xD “Can’t Take Me (I’m Free!)” by Bryon Adams, from the Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron movie. xD

24. Favorite band?

My favorite singer is Michael Jackson. :3 He’s the only one I really know a lot about. All other bands and singers I just like some of their songs but know nothing about them as people, not even what they LOOK like a lot of times. -////- I prefer to respect their privacy. :)

26. Best thing that has ever happened to you?

Oh… Oh GOSH. IDK… XD … :3 Meeting my boyfriend, @destan-of-the-shadows and @faes-hiding-place :3

27. Something you would change about yourself?

See my wish above. -.- I’d LOVE to change that chronic illness of myself. … If I can’t then my persistent anxiety, or to somehow grow wings (like this third would be more likely than the other two? XD Hell, I can still ask! XD)

30. Watch the movie or read the book?

I’d rather read the book. :3 Unless the book is so horrible, that I wanna see why people think it’s so horrible, then I watch the movie because they usually try to tone things like that down. If the movie is horrible in many of the ways that I’ve heard criticism of the book itself… then I know never to touch that book. E^E 

32. Favorite show? 

Of all time? Avatar: The Last Airbender, Gargoyles, and Seconds from Disaster. >:D

Right now? XD Air Disasters. -w-

35. Do you wish you could ever start over?

Start what over? This life? Blegh. Don’t make me go through puberty TWICE!

… *looks at the side effects of taking testosterone HRT* Oh wait, I’m already doing that! -p-

… Make that don’t make me go through it a THIRD time. xD Even if that means I’d be able to be in a male body from day one, as opposed to having to be trans. XP

36. Any bad habits?

Which one do you wanna know? -x- Anxiety, hyper-focusing on a thing in my mind and then having the mind get stuck and not concentrate on anything else until I yank it off that… Staying quiet about things that affect me because I don’t want to hurt others or be a burden? Often opting to be quiet instead of confronting things that could make the relationship better in the long run? Being intensely private? Judging the strength of my relationships based on how much of my inner self I truly share? Doing subtle tests as I get to know someone to see which subject is “safe” to talk about and which I should just shut up about without them ever knowing? Over-thinking things a ton? Apparently my not needing to talk to others for a while is a weird-ass thing? … I can go on. -x-

Oh wait, were you asking about like little quirks like twirling hair or picking at the skin kinda bad habits? My apologies. -x-;;

37. Ever had a near death experience?

Yes. Waking up to being strangled by a spirit counts as that.

No, I’ve had an occasion of sleep paralysis before. I know what that feels like. You can’t move anything.

This was where I CAN move. I could move my hands and arms and everything else. It’s just something invisible and mostly intangible was strangling the life out my throat. Not from the inside choking, because I know what that feels like too. (My Life…) but from the outside suffocation and pressure and constriction on the outside of my neck.

Being strangled to near death in my spirit form by another spirit meant my physical body could feel that too, panicked the FUCK OUT at the feel of almost dying, and I literally felt my awareness fading away into a black nothingness with the faint but faltering heartbeats starting to skip and take longer and longer between each beat. Gasping and choking and then going still…

Thankfully helpful spirits got the negative one off and thoroughly destroyed it. They could heal my spirit form and with that healed, my body was able to come back too.

Never want to do that EVER. AGAIN. *shuddering* Those spirit attacks over the course of those three years were HELL on Earth. *holds self tight* 

38. Someone you can tell anything to?

My boyfriend. I’m still working on being more honest with my two close friends @destan-of-the-shadows and @faes-hiding-place but I’ve made a lot of progress over the years thankfully. :3

41. Someone you hate/dislike?

Try that woman I mentioned far above that I hate.

As for actively dislike? Trumperdink. Bigoted assholes. TRUSCUM, TERFS, SWERFS, rapists, rape-apologists, racists, ableist assholes, murderers, serial killers, homophobes, aphobes, transphobes, and all the rest of that shit. I really dislike and don’t trust the police force in this country. And the vast majority of politicians too.

My country is a dystopian nightmare the tyrannical capitalist US of A. x.= Save me.

42. Are you okay?

Umm…Today was a bit hellish. I survived though. *grins a bit too widely and eyetwtiches* My life is just…………. very…… VERY………. interesting. *twitch*

… I still stand by my previous opinion of laughing my ass off at the utter ridiculousness of how people try to portray those “superhero teenagers” as somehow balancing a “regular life” with “crime fighting on the side with a secret identity” and somehow NOT having the crime fighting life interfere with their regular life outside of those “special two episodes.”

Yeah the fuck right.

Obviously written by those who have NO idea what balancing two different lives are like. X_X In my case it’s nothing so noble as a superhero identity, but it’s the difference of my spirit life and physical life.

And above, in my near-death-experiences… you saw just ONE of the many manifestations of that clash. -x- …Not. ….Fun.

I high-key DO NOT RECOMMEND. -x-

Most days these days (since the spirit attacks ended WHOOT WHOOT!) I can have a normal calm life. Then SOMETHING comes up and I’m like “what the shit-fuck is my entire existence right now??”

Yeah. -x-

… Can I have a hug? ;;;n;;;