#well. is still is better than before. but i am realizing that before i was doing very badly and now i am doing badly

[justmeinadaze]

Bloody Romance (Steddie X Plus Size Y/N)

A/N: I lived in this for a hot minute <3 and so much fun writing it.

Enjoy!

Warnings: Toxic Vampire Steddie/ Plus size human Fem Y/L/N, SMUT, dirty talk, light degrading (little slut, whore, etc), light spanking, dp, light choking, biting, aftercare.

ANGST!! Y/N missing them, possessive boys, hurt people trying to find her (its just talked about more than anything), some more of their experiences in the lab (torture touched on, blood briefly mentioned). Y/Ns parents also being toxic as hell.

I think that's it!

Word Count: 5862

Series Masterlist/Donate to Me <3

"From the moment you left I knew that something wasn't right

But the feeling inside has kept me up all night

You and me

Like one heart beat."

“Yeah? Everything ok?”, your dad answers breathily into his phone beside his bed as he hastily picks it up after two rings.

“No, sir. You need to look at the file we just sent you.”

Rubbing his eyes, he glances at the clock that reads two am before heading towards his computer to do what was commanded. Tiredness leaves him as his eyes widen at each violent image he passes by. 

“They’re escalating. A month ago, they destroyed your home, two weeks prior they began kidnapping security and doctors they knew worked at the lab and tortured them before draining all of their blood. Last night, as you can see, they found the driver who took you to your house. Thankfully, he was loyal.”

Your dad sighed as he stared at the man’s mutilated body and the note written in his blood on the wall behind him. 

“Give her back or else we will burn your company to the ground.”

“What should we do? Are we still safe?”

“From what we can tell, yes.”

“From what you can tell? Do better.”, he chided as he promptly hung up the phone without waiting for a response. 

***

“Hey, baby. I brought you some lunch here.”

“Thank you, mom. I’ll eat in a minute.”, you murmur from your spot on the floor. 

Smiling down at you, she takes a seat cross legged beside you and sneaks a peak at your sketchbook. You were drawing the vase on the end table by your bed except you had added something that wasn’t within the glass. 

“Hm. Why a pink rose? Are those your favorite?”, she asks lightly as she points to the image. 

“Oh…I didn’t even realize I drew that…”

Taking in the drop of your tone, you mother tenderly pushes some of your hair behind your ear so she could see your face. 

“Did they…?”

“Yeah, sometimes. Eddie would smush them into my sketchbook or Steve would leave them by my bed.”

“That’s really sweet. Your father used to do things like that before he would go to work.” At the mention of his job, your head hung as you turned away from her. “I’m sure they cared about you, Y/N, in their own way.”

“I…I keep wondering…do they even miss me? Are they thinking about me at all? I’m…I’m sitting here fucking worried if they’re ok and I bet they’re probably just…moving on to the next girl.”, you cry as she pulls you to her chest. 

“It’s ok, sweetheart.”, she comforts before a throat clearing pulls you two apart. 

“Is everything alright?”, your dad asks. 

“Yeah, we’re ok. It’s just…girl talk.”, your mom answers for you as you dry your eyes. 

“Girl talk. Ok. Um, well, we need to go into the lab for a bit—”

“What? Why? All of us?”

“Yes, dear. All of us.”, he replies through gritted teeth. “Go ahead, Y/N, and pack a bag. We’ll be leaving in 30.”

“I’m sure your father is being cautious.”, she grins, turning back around to face you before grabbing your suitcase. “They are violent superbeings—”

“They weren’t before. They used to be—are—good men.”, you interrupt as she starts folding some of your clothes. 

“Mhmm.” As you begin to help her, she pauses for a moment and grabs your arm. “Y/N, honey, they didn’t…like brainwash you or, I don’t know, hypnotize you or something, right?”

You laugh at the notion and she grumbles in her throat as she stomps away before returning with some photos that she pushes towards you. Your eyes widen as you flip through images of each destroyed room of your house, taking in all the lopsided furniture and papers all over the floor. 

“You laugh at me but look at this. These are the kind of men looking for you. The creatures you just called ‘good men’. This is just our house, Y/N. You don’t want to know what they’ve done to other people. Seeing this and hearing the way you talk about them I HAVE to wonder if they have some superpower we don’t know about. Or are you just that stupid?”

Before you can answer, she shakes her head, leaving you alone as you exhale and sit on the mattress. You continue to browse through the images till you get to your room, pausing when you notice nothing within is damaged. 

All your furniture was still upright and in its place. Knowing your things and how you had them, you took note that some of your art utensils were missing including your paint, easel, and a box you normally kept on your dresser full of your pencils you didn’t bring with you. There was a picture taken of your closet and a good chunk of your clothes were missing. 

Beside your bed on the end table was a single pink rose and underneath a piece of paper you knew you hadn’t left there. 

After gathering your things and climbing into the SUV, you met your father’s eyes in rearview mirror. 

“Have they been doing more than trashing our house? Have they left me anything?”

Your dad glares at your mother who continues to scowl out the passenger window. 

“Why did you show her any of that? No, Y/N, they haven’t. The house and everything they’ve done is just a method to get us out of hiding.”

“Have you seen them? Are they ok? Are they hungry and—”

“No, Y/N! Now let it go! Jesus Christ.”

###################

After being led to a room within the personal section of the lab, you were promptly left alone as both your parents disappeared. 

You refused to sit and wait, feeling completely uncomfortable in a place you knew hurt and tortured them. As you stepped outside of the door, two nurses walked by giving you pause as fear coursed through before they nodded a polite hello your way and you did the same. 

Tiptoeing around every corner, you finally found what you were looking for and opened the door to your mother’s office, locking the door behind you. 

Sitting at her desk, you stared at her computer and were slightly surprised you were able to get in without a password until you stumbled on her files that required a passcode entry to get into them. 

Finding the one entitled “Project Sunlight”, you input your birthday and rolled your eyes when that actually worked. 

“Come on, mom.”

You imagined a part of Eddie and Steve were afraid to come back here after everything they had been through which is why they scrounged for what they could. When you opened her virtual files, a plethora of information tumbled out. 

You found so many images of their wounds especially Eddie’s which were taken while he was in his coma. There were notes like the ones they found in your dad’s office but this time there were videos to accompany them. 

“Alright Steven, and what happened after the vine pulled you through the gate into the other world?”

“Um, one of the bats wrapped its tail around my throat and held me down while the others bit into my stomach. My friends saved me by jumping in after me.”

“Must be nice to have friends who love you so deeply to do that.”

“Yeah…yeah.”

They didn’t waste any time with Eddie who was still in his hospital bed when they interviewed him. He had gauze on his cheek, around his neck, along his stomach and around his wrists. His head hung as he was asked questions and you could tell immediately he wasn’t fully coherent.

“And Edward, you said you tried to lead them away before turning to fight?”

“Where’s my uncle?”, he murmured without looking towards his interviewer. “I’d like to see my uncle now.”

“I know, sweetie, I know but we need to get you better first and I need you to answer my questions. What happened when you tried to fight the bats?”

“I…I don’t remember…I—”

“Mr. Henderson said you’re a hero.”

“Henderson…Henderson…Dustin? Dustin Henderson? Is he ok?!”

You found so many notes and videos of “interviews” with names you recognized including Jim Hopper and Nancy Wheeler. Robin Buckley’s videos were the shortest with her being physically removed for “disruption.”

“Look, I don’t give a fuck what you people are ‘trying’ to do. If they aren’t under arrest and they aren’t sick anymore we should at least me able to see them!”, she shouts as she gets to her feet. “STEVE! STEVE! Can you hear me?!”

“Miss Buckley, that’s not necessary. They are here of their own accord and—”

“BULLSHIT!”

Wayne’s, to you, were the most heartbreaking. While he still remained in control visually, you could tell he was falling apart. 

“How much longer are you going to keep my boy here?”

“Until we figure out what’s wrong with him, Mr. Munson.”

Nothing is wrong with him. He was framed for murder and hurt by someone—”

“That is one of the working theories.”, your mom cut him off. “Another is that he murdered a bunch of kids and went on the run. Let’s not forget we were given permission to treat and detain him here.”

“I want my son, Dr. Y/L/N. I just spent a week not knowing if he was fucking alive. Please…let me at least see him.”

“I’m sorry, Wayne. I just can’t do that.”

Your fingers hovered over the files within marked by their experiment numbers. You knew it would kill you to see them in pain but you knew you needed to see everything. 

“Experiment 320, utilizing a knife to see if it hurts him and if so how fast he heals.”, your father address the camera before turning to face Steve who was restrained to a chair in the middle of a room.

“Please…don’t do this.”, he begged, screaming loudly when a guard stabs the knife through his chest. “FUCK!”

“What’s your pain scale at Mr. Harrington?”

Instead of responding, he tilted his head back as he struggled to catch his breath before spitting your father’s way. Your dad’s head nodded towards the other man and he stepped forward zapping Steve with something long that sent electricity through him as he gritted his teeth in pain. 

“I’ll ask again. What’s your pain scale at?”

The tears began to fall as you hastily backed out of that and entered a new video of Eddie on the floor panting heavily as he clutched his stomach. 

“Everything’s alright, Mr. Munson.”

“What about this is fucking alright?!”, he growled causing your mother to jump back. “That asshole keeps giving me things he KNOWS is going hurt me! It’s obvious at this point! All I can drink it blood!”

“I know, baby, but he just needs to know for sure and understand—”

“Understand that he’s going to fucking kill us!?” As he begins to gag, the metalhead crawls up to the toilet and throws up so aggressively you can practically feel his pain. When he’s done, his head falls back against the wall and you just vaguely make out the blood sticking to his chin that he wipes away. “Please…please ma’am…just…make it stop. Make it stop.”

As he starts to cry, he falls into your mother’s lap as she gently pets his head. 

The sound of the handle jiggling has you hastily backing out of all the programs and hiding under her desk just as you hear the office door open. Your mom’s heels click against the floor and you cover your mouth to stop any squeak from leaving your lips when something hard slams on the table. Her heavy sigh fills the room before she turns around to leave quietly shutting the door behind her. 

After a moment, you climb out from your hiding spot to find a folder with some papers on her desk. Briefly skimming through the top documents, you found images and notes of people they had killed in horrific ways as well as pictures of the empty Munson Trailer and Steve’s former house you had been staying at. 

Near the middle, you found a Ziplock bag with the pink rose within stappled to a piece of paper with two different sets of handwriting. 

“Baby, 

We should have told you a while ago, how much you mean to us.

 When you touch us so softly and we hold you in our arms… Y/N, we’re home. 

The way you taste, not just your blood, but your lips when you kiss us…fuck, honey. Without your laugh, our room sounds hollow like when we were trapped in the lab. Your smile and the sound of your voice…

I’m sorry…I’m struggling to…I just miss you so much…if any of those fuckers…hurt…you…”

“Sweetheart, 

I like the person I’ve become. I like being stronger, faster, and more intimidating. People used to spit and throw things at me like I meant nothing. Even before I changed people hunted me down like I was a monster. 

And we are monsters, Y/N.

After waking up and not being able to find you, I learned that I don’t…want to be a monster to you… We took advantage of you and kindness. 

We used you like a drug.

Pushed you away. 

Where ever you are, baby, let us know. Find a way and we’ll come save you. 

No matter where you are. 

Please don’t think we’re fine without you. 

We’re going crazy and we will kill anyone it takes to get you back with us. 

I love you. 

I love you.

Eddie & Steve”

You hugged paper to your chest as you cried. 

They WERE looking for you. 

The DID miss you. 

They love you…

Or were they lying to get you out of hiding? 

Absently, you exited your mother’s office, not caring who saw you as you walked down the hallway and up the side stairs towards the roof. The safehouse, car, and lab had something within that kept them from hearing where you were. That’s why your dad insisted you don’t speak when crossing the areas and never let you outside. You weren’t even allowed to open a window but as if guiding you, the door to the top of the building opened seamlessly with no key required. 

Glancing out into the night sky, the tears continued to fall as your lips trembled. 

“I love you to.”, you whispered.

Off in the distance you heard a loud growl followed by what sounded like wings before a palm covered your mouth and dragged you back inside. 

#############

“Have you lost your fucking mind?!”, your dad hissed as he yanked you back down the stairs pausing only briefly when the lights above you both flashed. “What have you done, Y/N?”

As soon as the door to the hallway was opened, the building practically shook as glass broke and people began to scream. 

You were brought into a room with security monitors and shoved into a musclebound security guard. 

“Don’t let her out of your grasp. What’s happening?”

“I don’t know. Everything’s happening so fast I can’t keep up.”, a lab tech answered with panic as his eyes fleeted between each screen. 

“They’re searching for her. Where’s my wife?”

The man shook his head as your own eyes searched for them. They were moving from area to area leaving bodies in their path. One of them blurred past an area you recognized and with all your energy, you elbowed the man holding you and were briefly released, giving you enough time to run out the door. 

You didn’t get far before you were tackled and you screamed as you tried to fight the man off you. You were slapped hard causing you to whine but just as he was about to lift you off the floor, the security guard was pushed away from you with exception force and his neck was snapped. 

Even with his back to you, you could see how bloody he was as his shoulders rose and feel.

“Steve.”

Without hesitation, he turned and collected you quickly but before he could run in the opposite direction, gun fire went off making him grunt in pain before pushing you against the wall to protect you with his body. 

While being shieled by him, you noticed his eyes were black with his fangs barred, ready for the attack. There was abrupt silence that was replaced with screams as Steve collapsed to his knees as your tried to catch him. 

“Coward.”, Eddie growled in a deep voice you had never heard before. “You send all your goons out here but can’t face us yourself?!”

“Steve…please…what—what do you need?”, you beg as you lift his head in your palms. You try to offer him your wrist but he shakes his head and glances towards a lab assistant that was trying to crawl away. 

You help him to his feet but he pushes you back, silently telling you to stay as he staggers towards the man before lifting him by his collar with ease and biting into his neck. 

“Edward Munson. Good to see you boys again. You’ve changed.”, your dad spoke with slight sarcasm.

“You haven’t.”

“She came to US wanting protection from you both! We never took her or forced her to stay.”

“That’s what you said about us. Said we could leave any time we wanted—”

“You could have. You both wanted to stay, remember, to find a cure and protect your friends.”

“You lied to us.”

“To help you.”

Eddie growled as he began to step forward but your hand on his arm gave him pause as he pushed you back against the wall beside him. 

“It’s me, baby, it’s me.” His black eyes search your face before his grip loosens and he lets you go. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

“Where? You have nowhere to go. We know about the trailer and his parent’s house.”, your dad yells as he gestures towards Steve who rounds the corner completely healed. “You wouldn’t want to put any of those children at risk especially Mr. Henderson. Wayne Munson would never condone you murdering people—”

The metalhead again jerked towards him but your grip remained firm. 

“Did anyone hurt you?”, he mumbled gruffly your way. You point at the guard who is now dead and he nods. “Did they hurt you?”

Your gaze shifts towards your father and mother who is now standing behind her husband. You shake your head and he nods once more but as you both start to turn your mom begins to yell. 

“Don’t do this, Y/N! They don’t care about you. All they care about is using you for your body and blood. When they’re done, they’ll dispose of you like trash! What future can you expect to have with them?!”

“Well for one thing, they’ve never lied to me! I saw the videos and read the notes! I saw what you both did to them. I trust them more then I trust you both!”

“Y/N, if you leave now, you can’t come back. We’ll hunt you down the same way we will them.”

“If you so much as harm a hair on her head, we will tear this city apart.”, Steve bellowed at your dad as he took his place beside his friend. “There will be nowhere you could go.”

“What makes you think we’d harm her? There’s a lot of valuable stuff we could learn from her when it comes to you both.”

At the threat, both men started to confront him before someone came out of the lab with a large UV light that had them hissing in pain. Eddie quickly wrapped his arms around you as they flew out a nearby window and into the night sky. 

################

The sounds of night echoed through the forest around you as they landed on their feet and placed you on yours, leaving you behind as they stalked through the front door of the cabin they brought you to. 

It was modest little home that looked exactly like something you’d see in a movie with a back door that led out to a lake. In the living room, you found your easel and painting tools set up as if waiting for you to sit down and begin with a couple of extra sketchbooks thrown on the dining room table nearby. As your fingers flipped through the pages you realized they were all new including a few of the pencils they placed beside it. 

Heading towards the bedroom, you opened the closet to find your missing clothes hung up neatly next to their own. 

Something loud hit the wall and you ran back towards the open area to find them pacing as they heavily panted like an animal after running down its prey. Their eyes were still that black color but unlike previously, they weren’t starving.

Or maybe they were. 

Maybe they were hungry for something else. 

Without thinking twice, you took long strides forward till your hands cupped Eddie’s cheeks and you brought his lips to yours. It startled him at first as he grunted in surprise but it promptly turned into a needy growl as his palms pulled your hips closer to his. 

Steve came up behind you and began to undress you, tossing your clothes to the side effortlessly but when you pulled your lips away from the metalhead to kiss him, Eddie growled once more as he roughly pulled you away from his friend as you fell onto the couch. 

The possessiveness over you radiated from them both and it drove you insane as your fingers glided through your folds to rub your clit while they glared at each other. 

Your foot ran up the former jocks leg and he smirked, lightly pushing his friend’s chest who in turn smacked his hands away before they both fell to either side of you. 

Their mouths and hands were on you instantly as if making up for lost time. Steve’s fingers replaced yours making you mewl as your palms rubbed both their cocks through their blood stained jeans. Their fangs grazed your skin and your pussy clenched every time either one of them brushed past you neck or along your breasts. 

“Oh my…yes…”, you moaned as thick fingers breached your entrance. What surprised you, however, was when Eddie’s joined his stretching you out to a new degree you weren’t used to. Heavily panting your eyes rolled as your back arched and they chased you with their lips, not willing to allow you to move away for one second. “Ed—Eddie…please…”

Reluctantly pulling away, you listened as he took off his shirt and unbuckled as pants while Steve gratefully took over, holding your cheek with his palm as he passionately kissed your lips.

Your body was lifted as you were manhandled onto all fours and the other man utilized the opportunity to push down his pants, barely getting the buckle undone as he shoved them to his knees allowing his hard dick to spring free. 

Taking it in your hand, you spit over his tip but he was impatient as his fingers tangled in your hair and pushed you roughly on to him. You gagged at the intrusion but welcomed the taste as you closed your eyes and allowed him to use you as his moans filled the room. 

“Goddamn it…”, Steve mewls as your own moan vibrates around him and his gaze shifts to see his friend’s head dip as his hands grip your ass and his tongue overwhelms you as he makes out with your pussy. 

Drool spills from your lips as his cock fucks up into you, hitting the back of your throat constantly before yanking you up to allow you to catch your breath. 

“Want…want both…want…both.”, you pant as your glassy eyes lock with Steve’s as your orgasm washes over you. 

Eddie’s body covers yours as he brings his chest to your back and wraps his arm around your front to hold you still while his fingers effortlessly push into your core, setting an overwhelming pace. 

“You think you can handle that, little girl. Don’t just nod your head. Keep looking at Steve and say it.”, he whispered firmly and you did what he commanded as the boy’s eyes remained on you while he continued to pump his length with your spit. 

“I can…I can handle it…Oh my…please…I can…”

“You can handle his big, thick cock stretching you out? I took your virginity so it seems only fair. You don’t mind if it hurts, do you, baby?”

“I can handle it… I can…fuck, Eddie, M’gonna cum again.”

Your body pushed back against him but he held you in place as his pace remained the same and a mix of a cry and giggle left you as your climax washed over you. 

The metalhead lifts you on to the floor with you on top of him, allowing his hands to roam your frame as your tongues danced together while you kissed. 

“I love you.”

At his words, you freeze and pull back slightly just in time to see his black eyes recede and his chocolate ones push forth. He blinks for a few seconds before his thumb caressed your lips.

“We woke up and you were gone.”

“You hurt me.”, you whimper. “I don’t…care that you use me to eat or…that you call me a toy and a whore…I really don’t but…when you said you didn’t care about me…that was the first time I ever felt unsafe with you two…”

A deep grumble came from behind you but you knew Steve wasn’t upset with you but himself. 

“Did you get our letter?”

“Yes…I found it before…”

Eddie nods as he brings your lips to his.

“Y/N, we’re not good men anymore. I’m sorry, baby, but they’re gone.” Eddie releases you long enough to take hold of his cock between you both as his hips thrust himself into you. “Fuck, sweetheart…but we can be good for you.”

Twisting to shift your gaze behind you, out of the corner of your eye, you see Steve climb up behind you and spit in his hand before massaging it between your cheeks. 

“We’ll still kill any fucking asshole that touches you. You’re ours, honey. No one gets to have you or see you this way except us.” The metalhead’s length twitched inside you as he watched your face scrunch while the other boy began guiding his dick into your ass. “Fuck, Ed…I told you…better when they’re unspoiled.”

“She feel good?”

“Mmnah!”, you whine as your forehead falls on Eddie’s tattooed chest. 

“No, no. You can take it, baby. Head up and eyes on Munson. Fuck, I wish you could see how sexy you look with us both inside you right now.” His large palm spanked your behind as he tilted back to see his cock slowly disappearing inside you. “God…you are so fucking tight.”

“Do…Do…”

“Uh oh, Harrington. You took the words right out of her. Little slut can’t even form a thought.”

“What are you trying to—mmph—say?” When you head hangs, Steve’s fingers tangle in your hair and roughly pull. “Answer me, little girl.”

“Do…DO YOU LOVE ME TO?! Fuck…I feel so full…”

They both pause for only a moment before the hand in your hair snakes around to your throat and his breath warms the shell of your ear. 

“Yes, pretty girl, I love you. We missed you so much, Y/N.”

They both thrust into at the same time and you swear you see stars. Steve pulls you back against his chest allowing Eddie to push up on to his elbows as his mouth sucks at your breast. The man behind you bites into your neck first and as your pussy flutters at the feeling the metalhead growls with pleasure as he bites into the other side. 

This was completely brand new and your body didn’t know how to handle all the sensations. Both of them draining you while they were both pumping their cocks deep inside of you had you melting into them seamlessly and you knew from that moment you were theirs. 

You would do anything they wanted; all they had to do was ask. 

“Some…something…Eddie…Steve…something’s…oh my god.”

Your words, or lack thereof, egged them on as they thrust harder into you at a faster rhythm and your arms circled around Eddie’s neck, clinging to him desperately as an intense wave of ecstasy washed over you, through your core and around the long-haired boy’s cock. 

“Fuck!”

The word came out sharp, gruff as Eddie fell flat on his back and his fingers dug into your hips as his release spilled abruptly inside of you. Steve soon followed after, grunting roughly as he slammed his own release into your behind. 

You collapsed, closing your eyes as the word around you went black. 

***

“Please tell me you can smell that.”, Eddie whispered somewhere above you as your eyes struggled to fully open. “Jesus Steve, it’s not…it’s not her arousal but…it is? I don’t know. It smells really fucking good.”

Like a wild animal, the man joined his friend as you felt their noses sniff along your chest to your neck. 

“Kind of but remember they said you’re stronger than me.”

“Fuck, man, I smelled it before she came as hard as she did…I couldn’t stop myself from filling her up…”

“Eddie? Steve?”, you murmur in a soft high-pitched voice. 

“It’s ok, honey, we’re right here.”

“What happened?”

“You passed out there for a bit. Here, drink this.” As the former jock slowly tilts you to a sitting position, the metalhead hold the back of your neck as he brings a bottle of water to your lips. 

Your eyes close as you chug it back making them smile before Eddie gets up to get you more. While you wait, you take in everything around you with heavy eyelids, still feeling drunk off the high that was them. 

“Here you go.”, the long-haired boy whispers as he kneels beside you but when all you do is stare at it like a foreign object, he tilts your head again to help you drink. “Are you ok? I don’t…I could smell when you were dehydrated but I’m not sure if I can capture anything else.”

“Huh?”, you ask confused before fully processing his words. “Oh, um, yeah. I’m ok. My body hurts…”

Kicking into gear, they lift you to the bathroom and you nuzzle into Eddie’s neck while Steve gets a bath ready for you. You hiss at the slight sting in your behind and between your legs but it quickly subsides as the water warms you. 

They carefully clean you, pausing when you flinch as the pretty boy’s palm grazes your cheek. He growls almost aggressively as his irises change to black once more as he takes in the growing bruise on your face. 

“You killed the asshole that did that, right?”

Steve blinks as he affirms Eddie’s question and his eyes change back to their original honey color. Leaning towards you, his tongue licks along your cheekbone, sighing when it remains. 

“Maybe because it’s not an open wound.”, the metalhead suggests. “Ours heal because they are a part of us but…”

“I got some information from the lab. It’s in my bag.”, you mumble. “I have a floppy of some of the experiments and some notes from my mom. I don’t know how much new information it will have but I hope it helps.”

“You didn’t have to do that—”

“I needed to see…see what they did…I’m so sorry and I swear I didn’t tell them anything.”

“Shhhh, baby, calm down. We didn’t think you would.”

“We were more afraid that they were hurting you.”, Eddie cut in, thankful when you shook your head. “We, um, I’m sure you’ve noticed but we brought some of your things from your house. Obviously, we can’t go back to school but you’re such a brilliant artiest—what?”, he asks when he notices you lightly laughing. 

“Nothing, I’ve just…never seen you stutter and be all…shy before.”

The metalhead sassily smirks as he rises to his feet and effortlessly lifts you out of the water to bring you into the bedroom so they can dress you. 

“I’m still a stubborn, mean asshole.”, he teases as his lips gently caresses your calf up to your knee. “Who would kill for you. No one touches you…no one hurts you…”

“And no one takes what’s ours.”, Steve adds after sitting beside you and tenderly kisses up your bicep to your shoulder. “When we couldn’t find you, baby, it scared us half to death. We got…so…angry…”, he growls deeply as his irises change again before your palm on his cheek has him closing his eyes. 

“We almost tore Hawkins apart looking for you.”, Eddie grumbled with the huskiness behind his voice that matched his tone in the lab. You imagined his eyes were already black as you reached down to move his curls away from his face as he rested his head on your lap. “You tried to give me water.”

Every time he told you that, you always knew what it meant. 

“You were kind when no one else in this town was. You weren’t trying to kill me or hurt me, you were trying to help me. You’re not like them.”

“When you guys…when your eyes turn black like that and your fangs…are you in control?”

“With you.”

You blink as you slide to the floor and the other boy follows as you cup the metalhead’s face in your palms. 

“What do you mean? Like right now, what do you see?”

“That first time when those kids were beating me up and I was so weak, I couldn’t see anything. All I could do was hear your heartbeat and feel your pulse in your neck even though you were standing above me.” 

Steve nodded as if to agree with his friend. 

“This past month we’ve been trying to sift through and hear you again but we heard nothing. No heartbeat, no pulse, no soft voice…no smell…nothing.”, Eddie whisper breathily as he tilts forward and inhales by your neck through his nose. 

“Then tonight we heard a whimper and you say you love us.”, the jock sighed against your shoulder warming your skin. “We knew you were in the lab; we just didn’t know where and then…I saw him…that guard…hit you…” His gruff growl had Eddie responding with a rumble of his own. “I just felt this intense angry need to protect you.”

“DO you love us?”

They pull back as their eyes return to their normal color and they wait for your answer. 

“Yes, of course.”

For the first time in a long time, you saw their faces and bodies relax as they smiled wide with Eddie showing all his teeth as Steve grabbed his chest theatrically before falling to the side making you laugh.

It was one of those rare instances when their humanity fell through the hardened exteriors and you couldn’t help the warmth that flowed through you as you tackled your arms around the metalhead who in turn collapsed beside his friend with you between them. 

#############

@debkk16 @myherometalhead @veemoon @hardladyheart @moonlightseranade @iloveyou987123 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @ollieolive @localemofreak @munsonmoonshine86 @twirls827 @munsongirl48

Some other people commented but I can't tag y'all! I tried!

[breakmeoff]

The Boy Next Door │1

pairing: bang chan x fem!reader

warnings: none I don’t think… angst?

word count: 5.3k

synopsis: you babysat him when he was 7 years old, and he’s had a crush on you since you met, despite the 8 year age gap.  between moves to other places and time, it’s been 14 years since you’ve seen each other even though your dads are still best friends, still live next door to each other, and keep up to date about each other's family.  you surprise chris at one of the skz shows, and he’s shocked to see you, and even more surprised that he still has a massive crush on you.  if only he could convince you to look at him in any other way than the boy next door.

note: so this is my first fic ever and this could be total garbage so please be gentle.  ages, timelines and relationships are adjusted for story purposes and this is all a work of fiction.  thank you for reading!

Part 2

ONE WEEK AGO

“Happy Birthday, Squirt” you said with a mischievous smile, handing your 14 year old half-sister a bright pink envelope.  The living room was hideously shrouded with obnoxious decorations, and crowded with what seemed like a hundred teens, your dad, and your step-monstermother.  

Mia barely acknowledged you when you handed her her gift, engrossed in gossiping with her friends nearby.  Between the loud music and deafening teens, the volume in the room was enough to make you wish you’d brought earplugs.

The moment Mia opened her gift from you though, she immediately froze, speechless, eyes nearly bulging out of her head and she held her breath.  After a few seconds of silence from her, you furrowed your brows in question with a confused look on your face until… “OH MY GOD, STRAY KIDS TICKETS?!”  The high pitched shriek that followed caused the adults to wince, and the other kids in the room to crowd Mia immediately in pure envy.

Barely audible over the chaos, you squeaked out “yeah, we’re flying to Japan next week to see them.  Oh, and there’s backstage passes in there too.”  

You glanced over to your dad who was just smirking over the drink in his hand and shook his head.  With a subtle wave of his arm, he motioned you over to the side of the room away from the mayhem.  

You came up beside him, rested your head on his shoulder and took a sip of the drink in your hand.  “Well, I guess she liked it.”  You paused before sighing out, “...this is a terrible idea isn’t it?” 

“Yep,” was all he replied with a quick kiss to the top of your head.  “Better you than me.  Did you tell the Bahngs that you were going to do this?”

“No, I don’t want to bother them or be another person hounding them for access to Chris.  I figure it could be kind of fun to surprise him too when we get to go backstage.”  Standing back up straight and leaning against the wall behind you, you exhaled in realization.  

“Geez, it’s been what… almost 14 years since I’ve seen him?  I’m sure he won’t even remember who I am,” you said with a nervous laugh.

“Ohhh we both know that’s not true, that kid had the biggest crush on you growing up,” your dad said, glancing over at you beside him.  You scoffed, “pretty sure he had a crush on anything with boobs at that age.”  

Of course, this was the moment your step-mom decided to eavesdrop on your conversation.  “Y/N!  Language.”  Rolling your eyes, you took another sip of your drink.

The next thing you overheard was Mia downplaying the tickets, bragging to her friends “oh it’s really not that big of a deal, Chan is basically my oppa.  I go to their house all of the time.”  With a flick of her hair, the other girls in the room were gasping with jealousy and fangirling so hard you couldn’t help but drag a hand down your face.

----------------------------------------- 17 YEARS AGO

After several weeks of inadvertently doing yardwork at the same time, and a few heated discussions over the pros and cons of planting winter grass, your father quickly befriended your next door neighbor, Jack, and his young family.  Your mother and Jack’s wife, Jessica, became fast friends and bonded over emigrating from South Korea to Sydney, and how difficult it was to find decent hotteok anywhere.  More than anything, Jessica was thrilled to find out that your mother had a responsible, teenage daughter who could babysit.  

You were, not surprisingly, unhappy when your mom burst into your bedroom one morning and voluntold you that you’d be babysitting the three new kids next door; Christopher (7), Hannah (4) and Lucas (2 ½).  

At 15, and much happier curling up in your room alone with your headphones on, you would rather have been hung upside down by your toenails than spend your precious free time watching some snotty nosed kids.  

That was…  until you found out how much Mrs. Bahng was willing to pay for a few hours of reprieve every other weekend.  

Sure, at first it was definitely about the money, but over the next few years you actually became fond of the 3 Bahng kids, and genuinely started to enjoy spending time with them. 

Growing up an only child, you had always held a quiet jealousy of those who had a bigger family.  Now you could almost pretend that they were your own siblings; bickering and relentlessly teasing each other.

However, shortly after your 18th birthday you received your acceptance letter from The University of Melbourne and priorities began to shift.  At the end of the summer post graduation, and a ton of tearful goodbyes later, you packed up your life and moved to Melbourne, 9+ hours from everyone you loved.  

For the first few years, you still came back home to Sydney for holidays and extended breaks, but the longer you were away, the more immersed you became in your studies and were setting down roots, building your new life.

During your sophomore year at UoM, your parents separated and quickly divorced, recognizing they had nothing in common except their adoration for you, and you had proved you no longer needed them as much as they needed you.  A few months later, your mother moved to Melbourne to be closer, but your father stayed in the house next door to the Bahng’s.  

While your mom showed no interest in remarrying, it didn’t take long for your father to meet the “true love of his life,” a woman 15 years his junior.  Less than six months into their marriage, your half-sister Mia was born, not even a full 24 hours before your 21st birthday.  Your relationship with your dad always remained strong, but your birthdays slowly got overshadowed by the new addition to the family.

Five years after your move to Melbourne, you graduated with your Masters of Biomedical Sciences, and got a job working at a nearby hospital in their research department. Since then you’ve earned your tenure at the same hospital, managing a small group of researchers, and making more money than you ever anticipated.  

----------------------------------------- EARLIER TODAY

You and Mia had settled into your hotel room and were getting ready for, what she was declaring would be, the concert of the century.  Despite the significant age gap between you, and the distance of where you both lived, you had always made an effort to stay a part of Mia’s life and establish a solid relationship with her.  Her teenage energy was exhausting, but seeing the unadulterated excitement on her face was worth it. 

“I cannot believe I let you pick out my clothes...” you mumbled, looking at yourself in the mirror, wearing the new pieces that you let her select during your shopping spree earlier that day; a black mini skirt, a white tank top, tattered mesh leggings, platform black mary janes, and chunky black jewelry. You felt so uncomfortable, not because the outfit wasn't cute, but because it was so far from your normal style.

“We had to make sure your fit was snatched for when we see Channie later!,” Mia replied while putting on her shoes.

Glancing over your shoulder at your little sister you smirked and replied “Oh, no cap?  Bet.”  

Mia groaned loudly and threw herself down on the bed.  “Oh my god I HAAAAATE when you try to talk Gen A with me.”

You walked over and grabbed a pillow, lightly hitting your sister with it, torturing her even more as you continued to talk.  “What, I’m just trying to be a baddie GOAT that slaps for you!  I’m gonna be mewing and wiggling my gyatt all over the place, flexin’ my rizz all night!”  

Mia grabbed the pillow from you and screamed playfully into it before pulling it away and laughing up at you with a big smile.  “You are literally the worst.”  

“Yep, and you’re stuck with me.”  You smiled, helping her up from the bed and walked arm in arm together out of the room, ready to let your night begin. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Two hours later, you found yourself in a group of roughly 30 others being guided backstage to a green room for the meet and greet with the boys from SKZ.   Once settled in the room, Mia’s eyes were glued to the door, bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet, just waiting to see her favorite idol again.  

As soon as the group walked into the room, Mia bolted straight for Chris, screaming “CHANNIE!!!!!” and flung herself at him before he could barely register what was going on.  

With a quick glance down to the crazed fan clinging to him, Chris instantly recognized the younger girl and wrapped his arms around her in a tight bear hug.  “Mimi!  My favorite Stay!  What are you doing here?  There’s no way your Appa brought you here,” he said with a chuckle, looking up for the familiar faces of her parents.  

Mia pulled back just slightly, still not letting go of his waist, looking up at him with a huge smile on her face.  “No, Y/N brought me!  She got me tickets for my birthday and we wanted to surprise you!”  

Blushing deeply at her little sister’s over the top reactions, you walked over to the two of them and sheepishly waved your hand in greeting as you made eye contact with Chris for the first time in over a decade.  “Surprise…?,” you laughed nervously.

Chris blinked at you a few times, trying to wrap his brain around who was actually standing in front of him, and slowly let go of Mia.  “Noona?”  He asked incredulously, closing the distance between the two of you to pull you into a tight hug.  

“Oh, ooof,” you said as he almost knocked the wind out of you, gingerly wrapping your arms around him in return.  “Hey there… long time no see.”

By this point, most of the people in the room were looking at you all with quizzical looks on their faces.  Fans were staring, jealous of the way that you were getting to touch the idol.  The other SKZ members were glancing in question, wondering who Chan was talking to so familiarly and making him smile like that.

Ever the skeptic, Lee Know strolled over to the trio with a raised eyebrow, “Hyung… what’s going on over here?”  Finally dropping his arms from you, Chris glanced between his bandmate with a light blush on his cheeks, and looked back to you before speaking.  “This is my old babysitter, Y/N.”  

Lee Know opened his mouth to speak, but before he could get the words out Mia chimed in, walking right up to him and giving him an overzealous hug, “and I’m his favorite Stay, Mia!”  

After studying them for a minute, Minho finally spoke with a tight lipped smile “it’s nice to meet you both,” he paused before looking back to you, “...please tell me you have embarrassing stories about him peeing his pants.  I beg of you, anything humiliating I can hold over him.”  

You laughed a little bit, and Chris quickly looked at you with a pleading look in his eyes.  “Please, please don’t…” he warned with a nervous laugh.  Looking back at Minho, you smirked playfully, “for the right price I am sure I can come up with something.”

A minute later, Lee Know looked over to Mia again, “do you want to come meet the other members?”  With a quick gasp, she nodded her head emphatically and said “YES!” before he led her away from you and Chan.

Now standing alone, you looked back up to Chris, lifting a hand to lightly tug at the fabric of his tank top.  “What, stylists can’t afford to put you in something with sleeves?”  Looking down at your hand that grazed his torso and back to your face, he chuckled lightly.  “Yeah, budget cuts.”  

After a beat, he motioned over to you.  “But… look at you!”

Glancing down at yourself with a sigh, you jokingly shook your head back and forth, “yeah, I know, pathetic trying to dress like someone 20 years younger.  I told Mia this was a bad idea,” you laughed lightly meeting his eyes again.

Chris simply shook his head, “no, I was just going to say you haven’t aged.  You look the exact same as you did when I last saw you.  Just… more mature.”

You smirked, lightly hitting his arm with the back of your hand, totally unsure of how to handle this interaction.  “It’s ok, you can call me old, I accept it.”  

With another chuckle, he smiled brightly at you and with a teasing wink added “you don’t look a day over 25.”

Rolling your eyes, you took another breath and were about to speak again before Chris’ manager walked over to him.  “15 minutes until show time.”  He nodded his head to the staff member before looking back over at you.

“I gotta go get ready but I’d love to catch up with you after the show?  Where are you staying?”  

Not wanting to bother him and his busy schedule, you shook your head “no, seriously you’re busy, it’s fine.  Maybe we can see each other when you’re back in Sydney next time.”

Chris grabbed your hand to emphasize his point, “no seriously, I have time later tonight and it’s been way too long.”  You nervously looked down at your hand clasped in his, which caused him to look down at them and quickly let go awkwardly.  Glancing back up at his face, you peered over to Mia laughing with Han while showing him something on her phone.  

With another breath, you looked back at Chris and told him where you were staying.  “If you aren’t exhausted and really do want to come by, there’s a bar down in the lobby where we can go get a drink after Mia’s settled in the room.”

Chris smiled again and exhaled a sigh of relief he didn’t realize he was holding.  “Yeah, that sounds good.  I’ll see you after… I hope you enjoy the show!”  Giving you one more quick hug, he went over to Mia who fiercely hugged him again, and begged for a quick selfie before the boys left the room.

Mia wandered back over to you as the band waved their goodbyes and thanked their fans, and excitedly grabbed your hand to pull you out of the green room.  “Let’s goooooooo!!! I wanna get to our seats and you have to buy me another SKZOO plush before the concert starts.  I think Han is my new favorite and I don’t have Quokka yet!”  

As you and Mia walked the opposite direction from the stage, Chris looked over his shoulder and watched the two of you disappear.  He’d meant it when he said that you hadn’t changed since he last saw you.  Well, maybe you had changed just a little.  He didn’t remember you being that beautiful before.

Minho followed his hyung’s eyes before looking back to his face, absently fiddling with his mic pack.  “Someone’s got a new crush on their Noona,” he said with a knowing smirk.  Chris glared over at him, defensively muttering “...do not.” 

Truth be told, Chris’ crush was anything but new.

----------------------------------------- TONIGHT

Walking back into their hotel room after the concert of the century, Mia was on cloud nine, still dancing and singing “LaLaLaLa” at the top of her lungs while you trailed behind her quietly, trying to shush her.  “Shhhhhh… there are people sleeping next door!”  

Mia rolled her eyes, shrugged her shoulders and began humming to herself instead, still completely lost in her own world.

You on the other hand were still trying to comprehend what you had just witnessed.  Sure you’d seen clips of SKZ shows before and obviously listened to their music, but seeing it in person was a different story.  

“I still can’t believe they dance like that in public…” you mumbled, mostly to yourself before Mia chimed in again.  “Oh my god, right?  They’re soooo hot!!!”  You looked over your shoulder at your sister and deadpanned at her.  “Gross.  On that note I’m going to go shower.”

45 minutes later, you had washed the evening off of you and put on a pair of joggers and a simple tee, threw your hair into a messy top knot, and glanced at your phone, noting it was about time Chris said he’d be at their hotel.

Not wanting to overly excite Mia who was almost passed out in her bed, you told her you were going to go hang out in the lobby so she could sleep undisturbed, and to text you if she needed anything.  With a dismissive wave from the teen who buried herself under the comforter, you turned to walk out the door.

Once in the lobby, which was not surprisingly pretty empty for the time of evening, you glanced around seeing no sign of Chan and wandered to the bar.  Pulling out a stool at the completely vacant bartop, you perched yourself on it and began scanning the cocktail menu.  Just as you were about to order, you heard a familiar voice.  “There she is.”

Turning your head to the side, Chris’ handsome face and bright smile came into view as he walked straight up to you and gave you another hug.  Over his shoulder you could see his security team find a couch in the lobby to wait in; far enough to not hear any of their conversation but close enough should there be a risk of any kind.

After he let go of you, he pulled out the stool beside you and sat down, unable to take his eyes off of you or wipe the genuine grin from his face.  Focusing your eyes back to him, you let a smile spread over your features.  “You know, I should call your Eomma and tell her that her son was gyrating in front of thousands of people.”  Chris barked a laugh and said “oh trust me, she knows, and she hates it.”

Grabbing the drink menu from your hand, Chris began perusing the options and when the bartender came back over he waited for you to place your order before asking for his.  Once alone again, he lightly drummed his hands on the bartop with a smirk.  “So what did you really think?”

Keeping quiet for a moment with a skeptical look, you finally spoke again with a small shake of your head.  “You guys were really good, Chris.  Like.  I almost understand why people like you.  I mean, you should definitely advise parental discretion for younger viewers but,” you paused with a quiet laugh, “you guys are really talented.”

“Why do you sound so shocked?”  He playfully narrowed his eyes at you, challenging your statement.  “You can’t tell me that that was the first time you heard our music?”

“No, definitely not, but I don’t know, I assumed it was maybe auto-tuned?”  You admitted.  “I mean, everyone else is these days so I thought you were too!”

“Auto-tuned??  How DARE you…” Chris laughed in response.  “No, I mean, obviously we do, especially in songs with a lot of dancing.”  

“Right but I was talking about the ad libs and the acapella portions.  You have a really nice voice!” you insisted, looking him in the eyes in an attempt to show you meant what you were saying.

“I feel like I should be offended by how surprised you are, but I will just take the compliment and say thank you,” Chris said with another flash of his brilliant smile.

The bartender dropped off both of your drinks, but before turning away he sheepishly.  “Um, excuse me, Mr. Bahng… could I get your autograph for my girlfriend?  She’s a huge fan…”

Chris smirked and grabbed a cocktail napkin as the bartender handed him a pen.  “Definitely, just please don’t ever call me Mr. Bahng again,” he said with a laugh, scribbling his name as requested and handed both the pen and napkin back to the bartender who whispered a thank you and wandered off.

You quietly observed the whole interaction, slowly shaking your head and sighed out as Chris’ attention was directed back to you.  “This is so weird…” you mumbled, picking up your glass.  

“What is?”  He innocently questioned, lifting his own glass, watching you.  

“This.  You.  You’re famous.  And like an adult.  A whole human being now,” you said, gesturing towards him as you spoke.

Pausing in reply, Chris lifted his glass to cheers yours.  “To being adults?”  He offered with a laugh, to which you clinked your glass against his before taking a small sip.  “Sure, let’s go with that.”  

After that, the conversation began to flow more naturally as you caught up on the gossip with your families, the ongoing concert tour, your life in Melbourne, and old memories.  The two of you sat comfortably laughing and reminiscing with each other in the otherwise empty lobby bar, and as the bartender handed you both your third drinks, you began to feel more relaxed with your old friend again.

“So,” Chris paused, taking a small sip from his fresh cocktail, “tell me.  You still with that doctor that I heard about through the grapevine?”  With a deep sigh and roll of your eyes, you leaned against the back of the stool and shook your head.

“No, turns out he took the phrase having good bedside manner too close to heart.  With a few of the nurses that work in the hospital with us.”  Chris winced at that new information, just as you raised your glass as you were remembering.  ‘Oh!  And the new research assistant on my team.  I get to see her face every day still.”

With a dry laugh, Chris gave you an apologetic look and shook his head.  “Well, from what I heard he was kind of a dick anyway so you’re better off without him.”

“Yeah, suppose so.  Just a 6 year waste of time.”  You said taking another sip.  Looking back over to him, “what about you, huh?”

“What about me?”  Chris asked, eyebrows shooting up in surprise at the question and an amused, guilty look on his face.  

“You, the idol.  Got anyone special back home?  Or many special someones?,” you asked teasingly.

“Ahhh, nope!  No special someone.”  He paused.  “Or someones for that matter.  Don’t really have much time between the tour and producing.  Kinda hard to maintain a relationship when I’m so busy.”  

“Hmm,” you said thoughtfully, “that makes sense I guess.  But c’mon, you’ve got to have had girls throwing themselves at you every day.  I’ve seen your arms, Sir.”

Chris laughed again, blushing a little bit at the mention of his muscled limbs.  “I mean, sure, the fans are great but I try to avoid doing anything with Stays.  Too messy.”  

You stared at him with a disbelieving look.  “You’re trying to tell me you’ve never taken a fan back to your room after a show?”

“Uhh…” he smirked, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish look on his face.  “...maybe once or twice.”  

“Knew it,” you said smugly, lightly hitting his arm with the back of your hand.  “You’re way too good looking to not have indulged yourself a time or two.”

“You think I’m good looking?”  Chris replied quickly, arching his eyebrow.

“Shut up, you know what I mean,” you said as you focused your gaze back on your drink.

Pausing, Chris took a deep breath before exhaling.  “I used to have the biggest crush on you,” he blurted out, feeling a bit more emboldened from the alcohol, looking directly at you.

“I know…” you replied playfully, quietly, meeting his gaze.

“Oh.  Was I really that obvious about it?”  

“I think it was the fact that you couldn’t look at me for about 6 months that gave you away.  That, and Hannah told me she caught you writing a Valentine’s Day card for me once.”  You giggled a little bit, watching his face turn a subtle shade of red.

“Remind me to kill her the next time I see her.”  He paused, unable to meet your eyes for a few moments.  “Can’t really blame me though… you were always so pretty.”

Scoffing and lifting your eyebrow at him, “Pretty?  I was a string bean with greasy hair, glasses too big for my face and absolutely no style.”

“It’s your smile, and the way that your eyes always sparkle.”  Now Chris was looking directly at you again, and you couldn’t help but notice the way he chose his words - no longer speaking in past tense.

With a light dusting of pink to your cheeks, you couldn’t help but smile, though making eye contact was becoming increasingly more difficult.  “Ahh…” you mumbled, not entirely sure how to reply.

At that moment, between the late hour and alcohol starting to cloud your mind, you caught yourself nearly forgetting that the man in front of you was no longer the little boy you used to babysit.  That tightness presenting itself in your chest usually only appeared when you were being flirted with.  Surely that’s not what was happening here… couldn’t be.

“Well I think that that’s pretty common, for boys to have crushes on their babysitters.  It’s like a right of passage or something,” you said dismissively.  “Totally normal and they always grow out of it.”

“Not always…” Chris admitted quietly.

“Haha, very funny.”  Leaning forward, you picked up your drink again, doing everything you could think of at that moment to ignore that uneasy feeling starting to spread through your body.

Just then, the bartender walked over and slid over the tab, alerting you both that the bar was closing.  “Oh shit, it’s past 2am…” Chris said after looking at the time on his phone and then over to his security team.  Turning his attention back to you “I didn’t realize how late it was, and I’ve got an early rehearsal in the morning.”

Shaking your head, you finished the last remnants of your drink.  “No, of course, I can’t believe that time slipped away like that.”  Chris grabbed his wallet and threw down more than enough cash for the tab and tip before standing and helping pull out your barstool.

“It’s been really good to see you, Y/N,” Chris admitted with a smile, boldly extending his hand out to run down your arm.  “Like, really good.”

Blushing yet again, you nodded and faced him.  “Yeah… I can’t believe how you’ve grown up.  I’m really proud of you,” you replied with an upturn in the corner of your lips.

“Fully grown now,” Chris confirmed, trying to emphasize to you that he was no longer a kid.

“So it seems…” you nod lightly, but Chris speaks again before you could continue.

“How long are you in town?  Can I see you again tomorrow?”  His eyes are intent, focusing on you.  

“Um… we are here for one more night.  But you’ve got another show and I am sure you’re busy..”

“No, I mean it.  Can I meet you back here tomorrow night after the concert?”  Chris is almost pleading with you by this point.

Something inside of you was warning you that this seemed like a bad idea.  You’d always loved Chris, but this was feeling very different and you hadn’t felt this nervous in way too long.  “I really don’t want to be a bother to you,” you attempted, trying to dissuade him from pushing.

“Is your phone number still the same?  I’ll call you when I’m free tomorrow to see?”  You could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn’t going to let this go.

With a sigh, you nodded your head in defeat.  “Yeah, it’s the same.  We can play it by ear.”

Finally he dropped his shoulders and a smile crept back up his face.  “Great.  Let me at least walk you to the elevator.”  

“Always so chivalrous,” you teased, taking a step forward towards the hallway.  As you began to move away, Chris’ hand lightly landed on the small of your back.  The small gesture caused your breath to catch, the feeling way more intimate than it should be.

Once you made it to the double doors, Chris dropped his hand finally and reached out to push the button to call the elevator before turning back to fully face you.  “I’m so glad that you and Mia came to the show.  It was a really nice surprise.  Especially after all this time.”

At this point you were hyper aware of how close he was standing to you, and internally you were trying not to overanalyze his every move.  He was just being polite.

“Yeah, totally worth it.  I can’t wait to go back to work next week and brag to the interns about the fact that I had drinks with the leader of Stray Kids,” you said with a smirk, trying to diffuse the situation.  Poorly.

Hearing the elevator ding with its arrival, you glanced over to it before looking back at Chris.  “Thank you again for meeting me tonight.”  He murmured as he began to lean in for a hug, wrapping his arms around you tightly.  

Hesitantly, you lifted your own and placed your arms around his shoulders, dropping one hand to his back, where you couldn’t help but feel the defined muscle beneath it.  From where you were standing, it was impossible not to truly notice how powerful his body had become; no longer scrawny and unsure, but strong and confident.

“Of course,” you mumbled back in response, moving your hands over his shoulders and down his arms, leaning back a little bit, trying to gain some distance between the two of you.  Looking back up to his face, you were about to say goodnight when…

Chris took a deep breath and whispered “fuck it,” mostly to himself, before he quickly leaned back in and pressed his lips against yours.  It was chaste, and soft, and shocking.

Lifting both of your eyebrows in surprise, you placed both of your hands on his shoulders and pushed him back a little bit, “whoa there…” you said quietly, looking at him like he’d lost his mind.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, struggling to make eye contact again.  “I’ve just wanted to do that since I was 8 years old,” he laughed quietly, moving his hand to rub the back of his neck.

Dropping your left hand, the right one trailed down his arm to his hand.  Giving it a reassuring squeeze, he lifted his head to look at you with a sheepish grin on his face.  “Glad you got that off your chest, and now you can move on past that silly crush,” you laughed, trying to diffuse the awkward moment.

The elevator doors began to close again, and you quickly stepped forward, sticking your arm out to get the motion sensor to reopen them.  Looking back to Chris, you gave another weak smile and stepped into the elevator, forcing the distance between you again.  “Goodnight Chris, and thanks for the drinks.”  

He nodded his head in reply, quietly mumbling “yeah, goodnight” giving a light wave of his hand before the doors closed, forcing physical separation between the two of you.

Chris stayed there for a moment, shifting his gaze to the floor, his mind beginning to run circles.  While you tried to make light of his crush, he knew for certain that it was not going to go away that easily.

Turning back to his security detail and towards the front door, Chris made a decision right then and there that he was more determined than ever to prove to you that he was no longer the boy next door.

[lunarlilacmoon]

Could you do Wanda maximoff x reader but Wanda’s really pregnant and they’re trying everything for her to give birth? You can add smut if you want too

I am sorry for taking a hot minute to get this out I have been sick and am starting to feel better but I have been craving writing this because it’s such a good prompt! Plus I love preggo Wanda!

I am hoping to have another one uploaded tonight, I got a FUCKING DELICIOUS Larissa prompt that I’m currently whoring over and excited to share!

Enjoy! 💋

What to expect when expecting?

Wanda Maximoff x Fem!reader

Warnings: pregnant Wanda smut, eating out (Wanda receiving), fingering (Wanda receiving), slight overstimulation for Wanda, sorry if I forget any!

Summery: Wanda was set to give birth four days ago but still hasn’t had her water break. She wants everything to be natural and is refusing any medications to induce labor or a C-section until absolutely needed. Lucky for her, you know some tips that are known for speeding things up!

“Love where did you go?” My voice echoed into the now empty bedroom.

“Living room detka!” Wanda’s voice floated down the hallway and into my ears.

I quickly padded down to the living room to see her panting on the couch.

“Are they kicking again?” I grimaced at her pained face.

“Just one is right now, straight into my ribs.” She gasped pressing her hand into her rib. “I love them already don’t mistake that but fuck they can come out now!” She groaned.

“I know you aren’t a fan of the options Docotr Muyhumi gave you but maybe if you’re going through this must pain still?”

“No.” Her tone wasn’t mean but it was firm. “I won’t take any medications for labor and we won’t do a C-section until we have to, these are my first babies I want it all to be as natural as safely possible.”

If Wanda was anything she was always determined. It didn’t matter what about, once her mind was made up changing it was harder than pulling teeth.

“Not to sound like a total douchey male butttttt, there is an old wives trick to going into labor.” I hinted raising my eyebrows at her as sat down next to her snuggling into her.

Her laugh was quick and her stern mood was lifted. “Oh yeah? And what could that possibly be?” She teased.

I felt my cheeks warm and I realized she was going to make me explain it out loud. Fuck it!

“I could fuck you?” I offered staring up at her.

She giggled at my boldness and my chest warmed at the music that fell from her lips.

“How rude it would be of me to ignore such a wonderful offer from you Detka.” She mused pulling me into a heated kiss.

When Wanda got pregnant Doctor Muyhumi gave us a full run down of this we could expect throughout the pregnancy. One of them being a lower sex drive or a higher sex drive. At the time I couldn’t help being amused because I couldn’t see Wanda’s sex drive having any possibility of getting higher. Holy shit was I wrong!

Before the pregnancy we fucked, well she fucked me, multiple times a day. To say she couldn’t keep her hands to herself was an understatement, but after the pregnancy she was never away from my side. One of us always had our mouths pressed somewhere on the other’s body no matter the time of day. As she got further along in her pregnancy her stamina did falter slightly but that simply meant more time for me to pleasure her.

I moved from her lips down her neck leaving light kisses as I trailed my way down, slipping from the couch to the floor. She lifted her hips as best she could to help me take her underwear off. Having been so big already she abandoned pants long ago.

I laid soft kisses around her thigh and lips teasing her until I felt fingers thread into my hair and yank my face up to look at her.

“Tease me any longer dekta and I can return the favor.” She hissed growing impatient.

“Yes mistress!” I wasted no time diving into her core lapping at her juices that had began to form.

Her hold on my hair tightened almost painfully but I didn’t let it deter me. This wasn’t just a normal fuck where the end goal was her orgasming, I really wanted to help her with the babies. She was tired and ready to have her body back I could tell.

“Fuck! Keep going don’t fucking stop I’m going to cum!” Her teeth were clenched and her face scrunched up.

I focused on her clit sucking hard and I felt her soak my face as she squealed above me. I gave her a minute to come down before I dove back in this time adding two fingers.

“No! Wait!” She gasped still shaking!

“I’m sorry love but we gotta get those babies out!” I couldn’t help smirking as she’s the one usually doing the overstimulating.

“FUCK!” Her voice bounced off the living rooms walls as I ate her like a starved woman while pumping my fingers into her relentlessly.

It didn’t take long for her to squirt again and as I readied for another round she gripped my wrist.

“Baby i-”

Her voice cut me off before I could continue. “ That wasn’t cum she gasped trying to catch her breath.”

“What?” I finally looked up at her wide eyes.

“Detka that was my water. My water just broke.” Her tone sounded completely shocked.

“I”M FUCKING AMAZING!” I screeched in celebration as I ran for the baby bag, mommy bag, and car keys.

By the time I made it back into the living room Wanda had a fabric tied around her waist to hide her underwear.

“Fuck the sweatpants.” Was all she said as she waddled to the front door.

“FUCK THE SWEATPANTS IT’S BABY TIMEEEE!” I cheered shutting and locking the front door behind me.

[moonflowergirlsworld]

Yandere Drabble

Jiyan

Jiyan, driven by a profound sense of duty, an unrelenting need to shield you from harm, and an almost painful yearning for your presence.

His life as a general of the Midnight Rangers has taught him discipline, but it has also left him burdened with a relentless fear of failure and loss.

That fear transforms into an obsession when it comes to you.

You are his anchor, his light in the darkness, and the one thing he cannot afford to lose.

Jiyan’s yandere tendencies are cloaked in his calm and disciplined exterior.

He won’t openly declare his obsession, but his actions betray his overwhelming need to keep you safe and close.

Every glance, every touch, and every seemingly minor decision he makes is to ensure you are always within his reach, protected from the chaos of the world.

Jiyan watches over you with an intensity that’s both comforting and unnerving. He’s always a step ahead, anticipating your needs and potential dangers before you’re even aware of them.

Oh my, the Vanguard camp has become your home now. Just stay there by his side like the good girl/boy you are. You don’t want him to feel anxious about your safety, now, do you?

His quiet attentiveness can feel suffocating at times, though it’s always laced with tenderness.

“You didn’t notice, did you? That’s alright—I’ve already handled it.”

His obsession with you often manifests in self-sacrifice.

He’s willing to bear any burden, take any wound, or shoulder any responsibility if it means you remain safe and happy.

“Your safety is worth any price. My body, my life—they mean nothing if it means I can protect you.”

Though he hides it well, Jiyan’s possessiveness runs deep.

He won’t openly forbid you from interacting with others, but his subtle actions—like ensuring you rely solely on him or gently steering you away from potential threats—reveal his true feelings.

“I trust you, but not everyone else. Let me handle them—it’s better this way.”

Jiyan’s stoicism cracks in the quiet hours of the night, especially after his nightmares.

He seeks solace in your presence, his strong facade giving way to a man haunted by loss and desperate for your comfort.

“Stay with me... Just for tonight. The silence is too loud when you’re not here.”

His training as a general makes him methodical in his obsession.

Every move he makes is purposeful, whether it’s ensuring your environment is free from threats or orchestrating events to keep you close. You might not even realize the extent of his control until it’s too late.

“You think I’d let anything happen to you? Not while I still draw breath.”

He is a prodigy in the medical field too. Oh, you got sick? Don’t worry, he’s there. He’ll take care of everything. Just relax and rest up—you’re in safe hands.

In his darkest moments, Jiyan might entertain the thought of keeping you locked away where no harm can come to you.

“Even the strongest fortresses crumble. But I will stand unyielding—because I am yours, and you are mine.”

But his love for you is genuine, and he struggles with balancing his desire for your freedom with his overwhelming need to protect you.

“I know I’m being selfish. But... if keeping you safe means holding you closer than I should, then so be it. I won’t apologize for loving you.”

Do not push him away. His gentle nature might turn into something much darker if you dare.

[kitkatsgalore]

now playing... ☆ track 03. pathetic love ☆ track 04. outsider ☆ track 05. why you hate... ☆ track 06. bleu

mini 와장창 track "visualizers," inspired by the ones yechan drew for the blue album! 🎶

part of #LUCYWEEK2025 | day 2 | prompt: all kinds of blue

[gideonisms]

Now running up against the problem that putting items into the same bins every day for 7-9 hours is so boring it makes me wanna kms and I still have to figure out what facial expressions to make or coworkers will think I am lazy and uncooperative

[snekdood]

idk who needs to hear this (vaush) but being a skilled debater and being Good With Words does not make you correct.

[indefiniteavatar]

So basically, in a case about him shoving money at someone so they shut up about him. . .he can’t shut the fuck up himself. I would say something clever and funny here, except the sad part is that this is just so normal in current politics that it’s just. . .not hilariously absurd behavior anymore? Not to say that it’s not absurd - it is beyond such, but it is just. . . predictable, I suppose.

I guess this is how I feel about politics lately? Either I get mad at everything or I try to laugh at everything and normally that works because politicians usually aren’t so tragically stupid so very often, but now I just kinda have to chuckle at the particularly eyeroll worthy things like this, and try to ignore everything else or my brain will explode.

[celiababy]

Ain't Right

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: You have a major (borderline obsessive) crush on Joel, and you're on a mission to fuck him.

Warnings: 18+ SMUT MDNI, age gap (56/20), swearing, fingering (fem!receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, size kink, cum eating, name calling, kinda mean Joel, alcohol, vomiting, an extremely brief mention of suicide

Disclaimer: I lowkey don't know the logistics of the show so if some things are wrong please look over it I'm just trying to write smut about Joel Miller godbless.

Ain't Right part 2

Ever since that tortured old man showed up in Jackson, your life hasn't been the same.

Tommy's older brother, and your absolute undoing.

When Joel Miller rode into town, it was like everything suddenly made sense. The skies got clearer, the air smelled better, and the birds even chirped their love songs louder.

Everything about him drew you in; his cold demeanor, stoic face, tired eyes—but gentle around those he cared about, which was only a few select people.

And you certainly were not one of those select people.

Joel didn't know what to think about you.

To him, you were odd. Yes, you were undoubtedly the most beautiful girl in Jackson, but he felt distance between the two of you was essential.

He felt this way because he knew.

Joel wasn't oblivious to your stares; he might've been an old man, but he remembered the laws of attraction fairly well.

He didn't like the thought of you liking him.

You were young, attractive, and had plenty of age-appropriate prospects just begging for your attention. Every boy in Jackson wanted a piece of you—but you only had eyes for Joel.

He was getting old and tired, ain't no reason why you should be so fond over him.

He also didn't like that you made your attraction so obvious. It made people whisper, and Joel about had enough teasing from Tommy.

"You gonna let that young thing jump your bones or what, Joel?" Is an example of the few things his brother would chirp at him whenever you were around and had eyes on him like he was a target.

So, all things considered, it's no surprise when Joel is reluctant to make a supply run with you.

You had begged Tommy to let you go out and finally start pulling your weight, carefully adding that Joel would be a great teacher for a first timer like yourself.

You stand near the truck, squeezing the straps of your backpack while watching Joel and Tommy whisper to themselves a couple feet away.

"You can't find anyone else?" Joel growls lowly, narrowing his eyes at his insufferable brother who he’d really like to strangle right now.

"Are you seriously scared of a twenty year old girl, Joel?" Tommy asked exasperatedly, throwing his arm out in disbelief. "It'll take two hours tops, what the hell are you so scared of?" Joel is exhaling through his nose, dragging a hand down his jaw in complete disgruntlement.

"You know what the hell I'm scared of Tommy—goddammit," He gets in his brother’s face before realizing you’re still watching them.

He takes a moment to back up and calm down, breathing out through his nose.

"I do not need this town thinkin' I am encouraging this girls...feelin's." He murmurs lowly.

Tommy rolls his eyes before shoving Joel's backpack into his chest.

"Just don't fuck her, Joel. How hard could it be?"

Joel watches as Tommy turns his back and walks away, leaving just you and him.

Joel had spent a lot of time making sure he was never in a situation alone with you—now he was about to be your unsupervised mentor.

He feels a groan try and crawl its way out his throat, but he pushes it down.

He starts walking to the truck, not even looking at you as he passes and yanks the driver side door open with more force than necessary.

"Let's make this quick." He grunts out, climbing inside.

You do the same, only with a little bit more enthusiasm. ***

The trip is a complete bust.

Joel barely paid you any attention, no matter how many flirty gestures you made at him.

You'd say something remotely suggestive and he'd either glare at you, or just flat out ignore you.

But you were relentless. Giving up on him wasn't in the cards for you, no matter how many judgmental looks he casted your way.

You guys had been driving back to town for around five minutes; Joel has kept his eyes firmly on the road in fear of you sparking a conversation with him.

But you do anyways.

You turn your body to face him in the bench seat, your eyes cascading down his breath-taking side profile.

You zoned in on the gray patches of his beard, and how his face had the remnants of a long, unforgiving life weaved into his wrinkles and scars.

You're momentarily rendered speechless by his looks before he side-eyes you.

"What?" He huffs out, not being able to handle your intense stare any longer.

"Why not?"

A beat.

"What?" He asks again, his brows furrowing together, an annoyed and confused expression painting his features.

"Why won't you fuck me?"

Joel physically winces at your language, scoffing in what looks to be disgust as he starts shaking his head.

"We're not starting this." He snaps firmly, a tone in his voice that you haven't heard before.

Completely disregarding his words, you start.

"Is it because I'm not pretty enough?" Joel groans out, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Is it because there's someone else?" He's close to snapping. "Is it because you can't get it up? I heard thats a problem with guys your age-"

Joel slams on the brakes, sending you lurching forward. He shoves the truck into park before turning to face you, a scary look on his face.

"I am not going to fuck you--Christ almighty," Joel raises his voice at you.

You're staring at him, wide eyes and lips parted in surprise. You weren't really expecting this.

"you're bustin' my fuckin' balls, Look kid," He starts up again, this time with a softer tone. "M'about 40 years too old for you-"

You cut him off with a murmur. "36, I did the math."

"Same damn thing," he snaps, shaking his head. "Point is—you don't needa be wastin' your time with me; there are plenty boys your age that will satisfy your...you."

You scoff in his face but try to disguise it by clearing your throat.

"I'm not asking you to marry me, Joel," You start, a sad smile spreading across your lips. "S'just sex." You say with a shrug, blush coating your cheeks because now your mind is imagining sex with him.

He stays silent and looks away from you, closing his eyes like he couldn’t believe this was happening.

That urges you to say more.

"I won't tell anyone," You're practically whispering, looking down at your fidgeting hands in your lap. "I'd let you do anything you wanted to me."

Joel's heart cinches in his chest at your words, mostly because he can tell you're being so genuine.

Why the hell did you like him so much? He just couldn’t understand it.

But he can't entertain this any longer because he knows if he did, he'd give into you.

"I don't wanna hear another goddamn word outta your mouth." Joel says in a strikingly even and calm tone, putting the truck into drive and continuing back.

He's eerily silent, and so is the rest of the trip because you're too dejected to speak.

Eventually, you both arrive home and you're fast to get out of the truck.

You slam the door and keep your head down as you walk away, snow crunching beneath your boots.

Joel takes his time, watching you storm off with tired eyes.

He feels bad for being so rough on you, but he figured it was the only way to get you to stop liking him.

Tommy walks up, a concerned look on his face as he looks back between you and Joel.

"Guessin' you didn't fuck her."

***

Nobody had seen you in days.

The pain of rejection had you in a mental place that you had never experienced before.

No one has ever denied you—ever.

The situation was 100x worse considering you actually liked Joel, and he wasn't just another toy to play with.

Joel figured his life would get easier with you not around, and it kinda did in some aspects.

But he couldn't stop the gnawing feeling of guilt slowly eating at him like a parasite.

He'd been cruel to you in the way he went about things, and he felt bad.

Had he really broken your heart? He didn't know you liked him that much.

He sits in his living room, contemplating how to go about this entirely fucked up situation.

He debates making amends with you, apologizing and rejecting you again but in a gentler way.

He deliberates on his plan of action while nursing a glass of whiskey before he's interrupted by three bangs on his front door, followed by a screeching: "JOEL"

He mutters a 'what the fuck' under his breath, walking to the door and picking his 9mil up on the way.

His eyes widen when he sees you-standing there in all your glory.

It's the middle of winter and snowing like hell, yet you're wearing shorts and a tank top with a beer bottle in your hand.

"Jesus, kid-what the fuck," Joel ushers you inside quickly, taking his big jacket off the coatrack and draping it over you.

He also tosses his gun to the side, obviously you were no threat.

"You tryin' to get frostbit? Christ," he's swearing and muttering profanities as he guides you over to the couch, now basically swaddling you in blankets.

You've never been inside his house before, only ever walked passed it a few times. It smells like him.

You, however, smell like alcohol and bad decisions.

Joel picked up on how drunk you were the minute you stumbled through the door. He takes the bottle from your hand and sets it aside somewhere, glaring at you like how a mad parent would.

"The hell are you doin' out in the snow like that? Fuckin' death wish or somethin'?"

His words are kinda fuzzy in your ears, you're so drunk that you barely even register them.

An unprompted giggle spills from your lips as you shake your head at him.

"It's not snowing silly," You chide, making him out to be an idiot when, in actuality, it's a damn blizzard outside.

He knows from that statement alone that you are way off your rocker tonight.

"How much have ya had to drink, kid?" Joel asks, raking a hand through his graying hair.

"Don't call me kid," You snap, a quick flash of anger in your expression. "M'not a kid."

Joel rolls his eyes so hard that he probably caused a tsunami on the other side of the world.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. What are you doin’ here?” He asks exasperatedly, dragging a hand down his jaw while looking at your trembling figure.

There’s a long pause before you answer. You just got distracted by his big brown eyes.

“Jus’ wanted to say hi.” You murmur, unable to tear your gaze away from his face.

“Say hi?” He reiterates, looking at you like you’ve actually lost your mind.

You probably have.

After a moment, Joel can’t help but chuckle in disbelief, letting his body lean back against the couch.

The absurdity of it all turned humorous to him.

Here you are, sitting in his living room, practically nude with only his coat and blankets protecting your modesty, having just trekked through the snow all for what? To say hey?

You’re still sitting there, motionless and trying to remember how to breathe because his laughing face has your heart lighting off fireworks.

“Fuckin’ hell—hi.” Is all he says, turning his head to the side to look at you as he crosses his arms over his chest.

You smile like a dope at him, so extremely happy to be there in his company.

But the alcohol in your system is fighting you, and you’re finding it hard to keep your eyes open.

“S’it cool if I say the nigh?” You slur, falling vertically on the couch, your head crashing onto Joel’s thigh.

You nuzzle your cheek against the fabric of his jeans and Joel is just about to gently push you off, but he stops himself.

You look so comfortable and so at peace that Joel can’t do anything except stare at you.

Your cheek is slightly smushed, your lips are parted, your eyes are shut and don’t plan on opening—it’s insane to him how at home you looked.

Like you belonged here, head rested on his lap.

Fuck.

He was fucked this time.

He doesn’t move you. Instead, he fixes the blankets on top of you so you’re fully covered, and sits there with you the entire night.

He’s really gone soft.

***

When morning comes, you’re first to wake up, accompanied by a splitting headache.

You don’t even notice how Joel’s hand had fallen onto your waist some time during the night because you’re too busy making a b-line for the bathroom.

You chuck your guts up into the toliet, clutching the porcelain and groaning out in pain.

Joel wakes up to the sound of your hurling, momentarily disoriented before he remembers last nights events.

He’s quick to come to your aid in the bathroom, wasting no time gathering your hair in his fist to get it out of your face.

"S'right, get it all out," He murmurs out encouragingly, seemingly unfazed by the disheveled sight of you.

You’re too sick to be embarrassed, that’ll come later surely.

He sits on the wall of the tub as he continues holding your hair back, yawning every now and then like this was just a regular Tuesday morning.

Eventually, by the mercy of God, you get it all out of your system and slump up against the wall.

“M’sorry,” You immediately apologize, figuring that is the only right move in this situation.

“Don’t be. Been through plenty'a that in my day.”

His words are uncharacteristically reassuring and you find yourself taken back by them.

You soon realize this is probably just the hazy morning Joel, the Joel where he isn't worried about anything except coffee and breakfast—like everything wrong in his life is put on the back burner for this short minute in time.

“I’ll get you some water and Advil, sit tight.” He grunts before standing up on his feet, knees popping as he walks out.

You watch as he leaves, wiping the corners of your mouth with the back of your hand.

Aside from the vomit part, you could get used to this.

You've never seen him so...domestic. His hair was all messy, his voice was raspy, he had that morning haze over his features that you felt so honored to witness.

You suddenly felt compelled to look at your own appearance, hopping to your feet and looking in the dirty mirror.

You resist the urge to audibly gasp at your reflection, opting for a disgusted look instead.

Your hair is a rats nest, your clothes are a mess, and your mascara has rubbed off in black smudge all over the skin around your eyes.

In a desperate attempt to look at least semi-presentable, you wash your face with water and comb through your hair with your fingers.

The idea that Joel had seen you looking like that was making your stomach churn again.

Before you can grovel about it any longer, he rounds the corner with a glass of water and little brown pills in his hand.

“Here,” He says softly, handing you the water and tilting the pills into your open palm. “Take these ‘n drink all that water and ya should get to feelin’ better.”

You do as he says, swallowing the Advil in one go before taking a big sip to wash it down.

His eyes drift down to your shoulder, where your tank top strap has fallen. No doubt from all that vigorous throwing up you were doing moments ago.

Without thinking, his fingers graze your forearm before bringing the strap back up to its correct position, clearing his throat in the process.

A beat of silence falls over the both of you.

You’re gobsmacked by the complete nonchalance of his touch, staring at him with your mouth slightly open in shock.

“What?” He asks defensively, his tone pointed.

You look between him and your shoulder strap, then slowly move to set your water down.

“Are you sure we can’t fuck?”

“Goddammit—” Joels cursing before you can even finish saying the last word in your sentence.

He turns away from you, probably the fastest you’ve seen anyone turn in their life, and walks towards his room with an accelerating pace.

He shakes his head in disbelief all the way down the hall, pivoting on his heel to duck into his bedroom.

You follow him, not really fazed by how he completely refused to answer your question, though you didn’t think he would anyway.

Before you can step foot into the threshold of his room, Joel walks out, causing you to back up.

He shoves a stack of clothes in your direction, looking down at you with a frustrated face. “Put these clothes on and go home.”

You look down, realizing he was letting you borrow a sweater and jeans of his so you didn’t die walking back to your house from the cold.

Your heart warms at this thoughtfulness.

Without wasting any time, you take the clothes from his hands, smiling happily. “Can I keep them?”

“Why the hell would you wanna keep my clothes?” He’s got that confused/angry look on his face as he asks, and you have to suppress a giggle at the sight of it.

You bring the pieces of fabric up to your nose and inhale, humming as you breathe out again. “They smell like you.”

“Christ,” Joel beings his hands up to rub at his eyes. “Fine, do whatever. Just hurry up and change, jesus,"

Ever the tease, you set down his clothes and begin to lift your tank top like you planned to change right in front of him.

Joel's hands shoot out to stop you, a 'don't try me,' look on his face.

"Put them on over your clothes," Joel says sternly, watching the way you sigh because you weren't fast enough in lifting your tank top off.

However, you sieze the opportunity in front of you.

Joel's hands are holding yours down, so you work to intertwine your fingers, invading his space by stepping forward.

"Or, you could take my clothes off," You purr, your chest now flush with his torso.

Joel exhales through his nose, his jaw clenching as he tried deciding how he was going to get out of this situation.

But then he paused.

Looking down at you now, so eager and wide eyed, made him wonder.

If he fucked you, and made you realize it wasn't what you were probably imagining in your head, maybe then you'd finally leave him alone.

He would just...pretend to be awful at sex.

(Even though it had been so long and he wasn't sure if he'd actually need to 'pretend' anymore.)

There's a long silence that drags out between the both of you.

Your stomach is doing flips because it's looking like he's finally going to agree.

His resolve cracks and Joel can't do anything but sigh in defeat.

Slowly, Joel pulls you back into his room, closing the door behind you both.

Time is moving in slow motion.

You can't believe it's finally happening.

He guides you back until the back of your knees hit his bed, prompting you to sit down on it.

"I'm only going to do this once," Joel's voice is uncharacteristically low and calm, and it has your core tightening.

You nod in acknowledgement, waiting to see what he's going to do next.

With care, he pushes your shoulder down so you're laying on your back. "Are you sure you want this?" He asks, brown eyes searching yours.

"Have I not made it obvious?" You quip, a giggle following shortly after.

Joel only shakes his head before his fingers latch around the fabric of your shorts, pulling them down and off your legs.

"S'pose you have." He murmurs, scratching the back of his neck.

You're vibrating with excitement and you repeat what you tried earlier, only this time succeeding with taking your top off.

Of course, you're not wearing a bra.

Joel realizes in that moment that he bit off way more than he could chew.

He hasn't seen breast that weren't on a soggy piece of paper in at least a few years, and yours--well, his cock stood no chance.

You hear him swallow, watching as he can't seem to stop staring at your chest.

Realizing that he might need a little encouragement to start speeding things along, you smile up at him and whisper, "touch me Joel".

Yeah, screw this. His plan of pretending to be bad was now entirely forgotten—he was going to do what he wanted, so help him god.

He huffs out a curse before sliding a hand up your torso, stopping once he's fully cupped one of your breasts in one hand. He kneads it like dough while using his other hand to disappear under your panties.

A choked moan erupts from your lips once you feel his fingers brush along your clit, rubbing around and spreading your slick around all too slowly.

"haven't even done anythin' yet and you're already fuckin' soaked..." He murmurs really to just himself, his eyes casting down to watch as he rips your underwear off impatiently.

"M'always like this whenever you're around," you mewl to spur him on, spreading your legs wider.

"Oh you are, huh?" Joel repeats back, the tiniest bit of cruelty in his tone that makes you shiver.

You nod, bucking your hips into his hand desperately.

"don't get why you like an old man like me, s'gross." His tone is flat but it's clear he's teasing by the way he curls his fingers inside of you. He's not really expecting a response, but you feel compelled.

You lurch forward, gasping at the feeling. "I really like you," You rush out breathlessly. "I'd do anything you wanted me to." You say earnestly as you stare into his eyes, loving what you're seeing.

Joel remembers when you told him that the first time, his heart cinching the same way it did then.

Joel is at war with himself. One side of him is screaming that this whole situation is fucked up and he is better off without you.

Another part of him thinks that this is the most he’s ever felt in a long time. And he doesn't want to lose it.

You can see the gears turning in his head. His fingers have slipped from you and you wince at the loss.

Slowly, you sit up. Your arms wrap around his shoulders, your nipples pressing into his shirt.

He's confused and momentarily panicked when your faces get so close together, his hands seeking purchase on your hips.

In an unexpected move, you rake your hands through the side of his hair, looking lovingly at his face.

"I just wanna be someone for you," You murmur, your face breaking a little as Joel's resolve also cracks. "Doesn't matter what. I'm very versatile." You mumble the last part to try and lighten the mood.

Joel just stares at you—something swimming behind his eyes that you can't quite place.

Eventually, he crashes his forehead against yours, sighing out.

"You're makin' this fuckin' impossible." He rasps before kissing you with a passion you've never felt before.

You feel victorious.

He's finally given in to you.

Eagerly, you kiss back, wrapping your legs around his torso and grinding your bare cunt against the bulge in his jeans.

"Then stop trying so hard to get rid of me," You sigh out, chasing his lips even as you're trying to speak.

He groans and you catch it in your mouth, the pressure on his clothed cock making him dizzy.

“Fuck,” He’s quick to unbuckle his belt, sliding it out of the loops and tossing it somewhere on the floor. “Lay back.” He demands and you immediately follow suit.

He's never been that...assertive with you before. It makes you tingle all over.

He looks starved as he peers down at you, specifically your cunt.

He literally can’t tear his eyes off your sex—he only looks up to your gaze when you let out an impatient whine.

He rips down his pants, letting his cock spring free and slap against his stomach.

Now you can’t tear your eyes away from his sex.

You’ve only dreamt it so many times, but now that it’s finally in front of you—it all just feels surreal.

It’s better than you imagined, perfect.

“I don’t have a—”

You know what he’s about to say so you cut him off immediately. “S’okay, like it raw. Closer to you that way.” You murmur.

Joel looks physically pained that he’s not inside you right now. For some reason, you just know all the right things to say.

“Closer to me?” He huffs out, hooking his arms around your thighs and pulling you down to the edge of the bed where he stood.

Now your cunt is flush with the base of his member and the sensation drives you both insane. “You’re fuckin’ insane.”

Joel rasps, but the way he says it reveals just how far he’s fallen. He knows you’re crazy, and yet here he is, balancing you out.

He glides his member back and forth against your folds, gathering up your wetness with a clenched jaw and furrowed brows.

He looks so concentrated—meanwhile you’re writhing with pleasure and impatience. Your cunt is clenching around nothing, desperate for him.

“So fuckin’ pretty,” he murmurs to himself, eyes tracing all over you.

You freeze.

Joel had complimented you for the first time, and it was genuine.

He notices you stiffen and takes a moment to pause.

Your entire body erupts with goosebumps, your heart beating at exceptionally fast speeds.

He's worried for a second that something is horribly wrong.

“What?” He asks, confused at what’s got you so wound up.

Your face is flushed red as you bashfully giggle. “You called me pretty.”

Ah fuck.

Joel finds you so charming it hurts.

After he remembers how to breathe again, he rolls his eyes and clears his throat.

“I have my cock to your cunt, of course I find you pretty.”

You smile and shrug. “Still. Nice to hear.” You’re all smiles until his tip prods at your entrance, causing a gasp to leave your throat.

He continues to apply pressure with his tip and it’s driving you crazy.

“Fuck Joel—are you trying to kill me?” You whine, hips wiggling to get him in.

He scoffs and shakes his head. “Relax, m’almost there.”

Slowly, he begins pushing his way inside. His mushroom head breaches you entirely and it feels like you can hear the angels singing.

He continues forward, the stretch being mainly around the middle of his thick cock.

But you’re taking it like a champ.

Joel braces himself with hands on both sides of your torso as he bottoms out, a groan crawling its way out of his throat.

The sensation is absolutely delicious.

A little bit of pain from the stretch, but so much pleasure from the fullness.

“Joel, ohmygod you feel so good inside me.” You moan, throwing your head back.

Your hips start moving on their own, but he immediately stops you with two large hands.

“D-Don’t move—fuck.” Joel grumbles out, his face pinched together in what looked like pain.

You’re confused for a moment, thinking maybe that he might just be really into cockwarming.

But then it hits you.

“Were you gonna come?” The tone in your voice makes it seem like you’d be elated if that was the case—like the most flattering thing in the world.

Joel looks pissed that you caught on so quick.

In truth, the moment he put his tip in, he was holding back his orgasm.

Can you blame him? He’s only fucked his hand for the last couple years.

“S’been a while.” Is all he can say, his chest heaving up and down in concentration. You know he’s embarrassed, but you can’t help but smile like a dope at him.

“If you come, please do it inside, please,” you beg, reaching out for his arms that caged you in.

Joel's rational mind feels like it just touched down in looney town after hearing your begging.

He feels crazy because he liked the thought of the idea you proposed. You even see him hesitate. But then he scoffs and shakes his head.

Joel drops down closer to your face, slowly starting to rock his hips into you. "Tryin' to baby trap me, girl?" He grunts in your ear, making you moan out.

Your walls are clenching down on him, and it’s making it that much harder to hold back. “No-no, promise, just wanna be full of you." You manage to blubber out...unconvincingly.

You probably didn't really want a baby with Joel, but your lust-driven brain was working on fumes and you just wanted to do what felt good.

Joel's grunting in your ear was not helping things. His fingers were gripping your hip so hard, you figured it would probably bruise tomorrow.

Good. You wanted whatever he would give you.

"Christ--m'not gonna last much longer," Joel groans, picking his head up a little to meet your gaze. He wanted to kick himself for not being able to last, but when he saw your face, all those feelings disappeared.

You looked so--perfect. Soaking up the moment in case it was the last, god you hoped it wasn't the last time. Now that you've finally had a tase of him, you weren't sure you could live without it.

Your legs tighten around his waist, keeping him firmly in your cunt. Joel notices this and also your pleading eyes, a growl leaving his throat.

"Please, please, please, please," you beg, never breaking eye contact with him as his thrusts pick up speed.

He ruins your long string with pleas with a needy kiss, shoving his tongue down your throat like a starving man.

You accept it happily, moaning out into the kiss while Joel manhandles your hips to take his cock.

The feeling is damn near euphoric for both you and him. It gets even better when Joel's hand comes down to rub at your clit again.

Your back arches off the bed as you gasp and moan out, wrapping your arms back around his shoulders. "F-Fuck!" You moan into his ear, probably drooling on his shoulder in the process. "thankyouthankyouthankyou-" you sputter out in choked sobs. He was really good at working on your clit, you couldn't do anything else but thank him for it.

Joel feels a surge of something when he hears you. He's never had a woman thank him in bed before.

It's enough to push him over the edge. And apparently you too.

"I'm gonna come Joel, please don't stop," There are pools of tears in your eyes that Joel is just now noticing. He's about to reply to you, but he finds himself speechless when he feels your cunt start constricting and fluttering around him like a vice.

"Fuck!" He groans out loudly, his hips starting to falter in their rhythm. But then he picks up speed again, and in no time he's like a madman jackhammering into you.

You're a mess of screams and cries and moans underneath him, happily taking everything he was giving you.

When Joel feels himself about to come, he notices how your legs are still tightly wrapped around him, keeping him inside, and he manages to scoff out.

"Gotta let me go baby," You've never heard that pet name from him before, and it makes you crumble. His hands move to grab at your thighs, kneading the flesh there.

You whine out but reluctantly release the grip your legs had on him. Joel doesn't waste time before hugging both your legs on his chest, keeping them firmly placed while your feet squirmed by his ear.

"Atta girl," he murmurs before picking up speed again, his cock head pressing into your cervix.

It's all too much for you. Joel looks so amazing pounding into you from above, his concentrated face, his sweat, the way his salt and pepper hair is all disheveled, you're losing your mind.

Your core is on fire and you can't stop yourself.

In a staggering turn of events, you come first.

Your walls come down like bricks on his dick, you cry out, throwing your head back in complete bliss and ecstasy.

Seeing and feeling this, Joel is quick to follow in your steps. He rips himself from that warm hole of yours and pumps himself dry onto your stomach.

You watch it all with wide eyes, you wouldn't have missed Joel's orgasm face for the world!

Of course, his eyes were squeezed shut, his mouth was open as he was breathing heavily, and his eyebrows turned down like he was mad.

God he was so beautiful.

His thick ropes of cum shoot all over your stomach and even your breasts as he jerks himself off to completion.

When he finishes, he takes a moment to catch his breath, finally opening his eyes to see you scoop up his cum from your breast with your finger and shove it in your mouth.

Your tongue swirls around his seed and you swallow eagerly, humming out in satisfaction at the taste of him.

Joel's watching in complete fascination, though his expression looks a little angry. When does it not?

"taste so good," you mumble with your finger still in your mouth, looking up at him with your big eyes.

He moves before he can think about it--ripping your hand away from your lips and caging you in a slow but deep kiss.

He soon falls down beside you and soon rolls over onto his back, his chest rising and falling from the excursion.

You curl into his side, watching his side profile so intently. You had just fucked Joel Miller.

And it was everything you had dreamed of. Extreme happiness doesn't even begin to describe your feelings right now.

There's a long stretch of silence that drapes over the both of you. Eventually, Joel breaks it with something extremely off topic.

"Last night...you didn't just come here to say 'hi', did you?"

You're momentarily speechless, not expecting that question from him at all. But you can't stop a giggle from coming through your lips.

"Actually, I came to confront you." Your voice is soft as you begin speaking, thinking back to last night's ordeal.

Joel doesn't expect this answer, his head turns to look at you while you speak. His arm comes down to drape over your shoulder.

"I was really upset cus you rejected me n'all. I just couldn't accept the whole, 'age gap' excuse. I wanted to know if you just really didn't like me or not." You're murmuring, drawing soft lines with your finger on the skin of Joel's chest.

He huffs out a breath at the explanation, shaking his head. "Guess you got your answer, huh." He grumbles out, somewhat ashamed of himself that he couldn't hold back.

You smile and lean up to kiss his cheek. "I did," you chirp happily, admiring his face again. "You know you're gonna have to fuck me, like, everyday now, right?"

You're kidding. But you're also not at all.

Joel scoffs and sits up, moving to pick up both his and your shirts. "Fat chance. Barely had enough stamina for one round." He grunts out, finding the neck hole in your tank top and putting it over your head for you.

You don't bother to pull it down over your breasts so Joel does it for you.

"It's okay, we can build up your tolerance over time." You quip with a teasing smile, loving the way Joel turned to glare at you.

He couldn't believe the youth these days.

[mercy-burning]

Backseat Benefits

"You are the sun and I am the moon; What light you see in me is merely yours, reflected across the length of night" --William C. Hannah

——————

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: On your way home one night, Spencer innocently wonders aloud about the benefits of a car's backseat. You aim to show him what they might be. Category: Smut (18+), Fluff Content: Making out, Heavy petting, blowjob, vaginal fingering/oral, good ol' fashioned car foolin' around. Baby Spencer is low-key insecure but fighting through it Word Count: 3.1k

MASTERLIST

NOTE: Yeah, so what Spencer wonders about backseats is the thought I had while loading in my groceries this morning LMAOO, and then Diet Pepsi by Addison Rae came on shuffle when I got in, and I started this in the Walmart parking lot. Therefore this is not proofread. I briefly skimmed after I finished, but that's IT. Enjoy!

---------

You like to think you know Spencer pretty well; Two years of being friends and two more of a relationship under your belts has more than proven your mutual knowing and loving and understanding of each other.

Still, he manages to find ways to surprise you every day without even trying.

Tonight, you're on your way back to his apartment from seeing a movie a few towns over. The moon flashes in and out of view as tall, full trees whip past you in the night. You think Spencer might be staring, craning his head and trying to focus on the moonlight, but eventually you notice his eyes are trained on the rear view mirror.

"Something on your mind, Sunshine?"

His nose crinkles affectionately at the pet name you've coined for him. While you're sure there are more poetic ways to describe his aura and the way he makes you feel, there wasn't a better word in the moment you could have come up with to fully encapsulate his warmth. He was pure sunshine incarnate, and so the first week you'd known each other, it became clear that there was no other option. The nickname slipped past your lips without a second thought, he looked panicked and flushed for a moment before bumbling through his response, and it stuck.

The memory of it makes you smile as he answers you.

"I was just thinking... A large percentage of vehicles have backseats, but I wonder how many of them actually get used... I mean, sure, children basically only know the backseat, and families and friend groups will spend time there... But if you're the owner of a vehicle, chances are you haven't sat in your backseat. And after all, why would you? But it makes you wonder, how many vehicle owners are truly familiar with the backseat of their car?"

The momentary silence between you feels almost comical, but you're only trying to process. Is it a truly curious statement, or...

"Are you asking if I'm familiar with my backseat?"

The suggestive implication in your tone completely goes over his head, answering your question. "Well, no, that wasn't my intention, but... Are you?"

"Kinda," you answer truthfully. "I mean, I've loaded groceries into the backseat, and I've... Spent some time back there."

Spencer looks to you and raises an eyebrow, genuinely curious and asking for elaboration. It hadn't clicked yet.

Another silence falls between you for a while before he understands, his features contorting with realization and then embarrassment. "Oh..."

You can't help but laugh. "I mean, it's been a while, but... Yeah."

"I mean, I suppose it is a cliche for young lovers to hook up in the back of a car... But I didn't even think about it..."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, this car has only seen one rendezvous in my lifetime with it, and it has been heavily sanitized since then. So if you're curious about the backseat of my car, you're welcome to sit back there anytime you like."

He groans, scrunching his nose again, only less affectionately and in that way you've come to recognize as embarrassment. "I'm sorry. That was an odd conversation."

"Hey. I'm serious. Don't you ever apologize for being curious, especially not around me, alright?"

"Yeah, alright."

You can tell he's just trying to move on but that he doesn't actually believe you, and it breaks your heart a little—another thing that's surprised you tonight. After all your years as friends, his inability to recognize precisely how much you adore literally every facet of him never seems to go away. It's gotten better over the years, but on occasion, like now, he fails to believe that someone like you could truly love someone like him. His sunshine slowly starts to disappear behind a little cloud, and though it doesn't happen for very long, each time it does, it makes you want to curse the world and whatever forces have sprung him with storms of sorrow.

And it's happening now.

You make a quick decision to pull over, and he looks over at you quizzically as the car comes to a complete stop.

"Is everything alright?" he asks, concerned more for you than himself.

"No. You put the thought in my brain, and now I just wanna sit in my backseat and see what's going on back there."

Spencer's eyes drop. "You don't have to do that..."

Instead of responding, you unbuckle your seatbelt and leave the car running, opening the door. "C'mon."

He tries to stop you, but you climb out away from his hand and close the door behind you, bracing yourself against the gentle summer wind. And now the thought really is running rampant in your head; You'd never thought about it before, but merely opening the back door feels different in your hand than when you open the driver's door. You don't know if it's just a trick of the mind—a product of the task at hand—or if there's any technical difference in the way back and front car doors are designed.

When you finally sit down in the backseat, you're about to tell Spencer about your thoughts on it only to find out that he's gone, but only for a few seconds. He climbs in beside you, his hair astray from the wind.

You smile. "Welcome to the backseat, Sunshine. Take off your jacket, stay a while."

Your words have managed to make him laugh. A small victory— a beam of light protruding from his little cloud.

"It's roomy back here," he muses, looking around, his smile still lingering.

"It's like a whole new world."

Spencer laughs again, and then you follow, and before you know it, the both of you have fallen into a small cyclone of laughter that parts the clouds and lifts the mood entirely.

"I love you," he says at last, scooting in closer to you, your legs touching now.

You reach your hand out to grab his, bringing it to rest on your chest, right where your heart sits beneath flesh and bone. "I love you, too, Sunshine. Don't you ever forget it."

Your faces have drifted closer now, noses nestling against one another as one more silence befalls you. Only this time, the thing forming in the midst is a different kind of storm. Electric, gravitating, and warm.

His lips find yours with ease, and what a gentle endeavor it is; A small gesture of gratitude and adoration that makes your heart flutter like it had the first time you kissed him. Your hand tightens over his, a squeeze of affection that lets him know you're embracing his warmth, and that you can only hope to return it to him in full.

When your lips part against his, however, something shifts in his gentleness. It firms and grows bold, pressing into you with a desperation that isn't necessarily surprising, but igniting.

You admittedly never pictured yourself making out with Spencer Reid in the backseat of your car, but now that it's happening, the low hum of the air conditioning rumbling through the space between you and the wind rustling outside, you fully embrace the pang of need that takes hold in your body and spreads to every limb.

Wandering hands, curious tongues, and saccharine sighs become your whole world for what feels like hours. Cars occasionally whoosh by, but you pay them no mind, too entirely wrapped up in your boyfriend and the way he's loving you to even consider them. Though, the thought of two government employees being caught for public indecency briefly crosses your mind and makes you huff a laugh into Spencer's mouth.

He breaks apart. "What is it?"

You kiss him again, humming mischievously into him. "Ohhh, you know."

Another kiss, slow and deliberate...

"Just thinking."

Your kisses travel along his jaw, and then his neck. His pulse under your lips is a thrill in its own right, a tangible reminder of the life he so beautifully offers you.

"About the benefits of having an unexplored backseat."

You feel his whole body sigh as your hands untuck his shirt from the band of his pants.

Then he laughs, the sound strained and desperate, and you want to bottle it up and keep it forever. "I thought you've already... explored this backseat."

In another life you would have laughed back, but there is absolutely nothing funny about the way you want him right now. Your body is on fire, screaming at you, begging to please him and feel the weight of him in your mouth, aching for the sounds that slip past his pretty, pouty lips.

Fuck.

"I want to explore it with you," you nearly whine, unbuckling his belt and licking at his collarbone. "God, Spencer, I want you so bad..."

You're not entirely sure what sound escapes him then, but once again he sounds desperate and unbelieving as your hand dips into his pants and palms him over the gray boxers you watched him put on this morning.

It spurs you forward, his desperation feeding your own, and your hand tightens around the length of him, feeling how hard and aching he is.

"Mmm, you want it too, don't you?" you moan into his chest, sinking yourself lower and lower, crawling down his body until your crouched half on the floor of the car.

Spencer swallows hard and tries to control his breathing. "Always want you..."

You grin, satisfied with his state. A man of many words, reduced to half-sentences and mindless whines of want at your mercy. Your sweet, bright boy is putty in your hands, and it's utterly intoxicating.

He manages to lift his hips enough for you to wrestle with his pants and move them down enough so you can slip his cock out of his boxers. Once it's out, firm in your hand and glistening with need, he sits back down and throws his head back.

The sound of your name falls short on his lips the second you put your mouth on him, like he's stopped thinking all together. His world stops, frozen in time as your lips wrap perfectly around him and sink down slowly. Your tongue lays flat under him, firm and wet and warm, and only when he hits the back of your throat does he let out a sound.

You hold yourself there as long as you can, gagging around him briefly before lifting your head and coming off of him with a pop of your lips. A trail of spit comes with them, which you use to help your hand glide smoothly up and down his shaft as you look up at him.

He's watching you work with disbelief, and you're about to say something about it when he surprises you yet again.

"A-Aren't you... uncomfortable? Crouched down like that?"

"Maybe a little," you tell him, squeezing his cock and working the tip in your fist. His eyes squeeze shut, trying to restrain himself from feeling pleasure when you're down here, contorted with uncomfortable limbs. "But that's the whole point, I suppose..."

"I don't follow," he breathes, a whimper chasing after his words when you lean down and press an open-mouthed kiss to the head of his cock.

"When you're young and in love... Hooking up in the backseat... Desperate and passionate for someone..." Your tongue comes out and teases under the tip before you continue, his eyes straining to keep open as he writhes underneath you. "If it means finding a little thrill with the one you love... What's a little discomfort?"

You take him fully in your mouth again, bobbing your head up and down when you see him finally submit to it— the pleasure, the thrill...

Spencer moans, loud, the sound vibrating through you and settling deep in your core. You squeeze your legs together grind your hips into the cramped air, seeking friction in nothing but the fabric clinging to your thighs. Quite literally the living breathing definition of hot and bothered, you can't help but slack your jaw and drool on his cock, reveling in the way it glides over your tongue and repeatedly hits the back of your throat.

"I—I can't... I'm gon—na—"

You moan your approval around the length of him, reaching up to hold Spencer's hand as he twitches and writhes in your mouth. With a final squeeze of his hand, he cries out and lets go. You swallow as much as you can, but with the small space and limited room for precision, it gets messier than you figure he'd enjoy. Still, he sighs blissfully as his load lightens, and when he's orgasmed out, you make quick work of cleaning him up.

He watches you in reverence, softly whimpering at every slow stroke of your tongue as it cleans him. You take your time, leaving no inch of him untouched, uncared for...

Your cunt is practically throbbing by the time you come back up, the sensation only intensifying when Spencer pulls you into him immediately. His lips move over yours wildly, a languid labor of love that isn't laborious at all. In fact, he kisses you like he's been doing it his whole life, with no hesitation or question, and with every ounce of enthusiasm one could possibly carry.

Sunshine radiates through his fingertips, hot and enveloping as they slip under your shirt and against the skin of your lower back. You climb over him instinctively, straddling his lap and kissing him back with that same desperation that had infiltrated his kisses earlier.

He's tired from coming, you can tell, but his love for you doesn't waver— it urges him forward, carries his hand down to the front of your pants, and offers the same relief you'd gifted him.

"Please, baby, I need your fingers in me," you whine into his mouth, helping him unbutton and loosen your pants.

"Anything you want," he responds in earnest, finally getting into a comfortable enough position to slip past your underwear and touch you where you want him the most.

He kisses you through a whine, gliding through your cunt with ease.

"Mmm that's what you do to me, Sunshine," you tell him, grinding into his hand. "You make me feel so good."

His middle finger is precise, circling your clit as you try not to fall over on him. Your pants hanging around your thighs make it hard to give him more than restrictive access, but as you told him before, it's all part of the experience.

It certainly adds to your desperation, your kisses becoming urgent and sloppy, and then he manages to slip a finger inside. The fullness isn't stimulating enough to get you off necessarily, but it's welcome and hot all the same. You help him out, softly lifting and dropping your hips to meet his rhythm, and then you reach down to frantically rub your clit.

"Fuck it," he finally breathes, pulling away from you and shifting his weight. "Can you lay down?"

The two of you shift and struggle to position yourselves more comfortably, another fit of laughter tangling between you as you attempt it. Eventually, Spencer is able to remove your shoes and slide your pants down over your ankles, and then he's throwing your leg over his shoulder and bending down.

Even though you have more room, the car suddenly feels cramped, sweat gathering on your body and your muscles cramping from contorting so oddly just minutes before. And now, with your boyfriend's mouth and fingers working in tandem to get you off, you're exerting yourself even more.

It doesn't take very long to approach your orgasm, the evening's built-up tension finally coming to a head.

It also helps that Spencer knows what he's doing— That had been another surprise at the start of your relationship. He was so shy and awkward and prone to bumbling when it came to dating you at first, that the first time you had sex with him, you weren't expecting to be so exhausted that you'd slept straight through three alarms.

His tongue flicks over your clit with rapid, even strokes, meanwhile his fingers accompany them with long and meticulous accuracy that makes for the perfect orgasm. It builds and builds, until your head thumps back and hits the hard plastic of the inside of the door. You laugh through it, your body shuddering under Spencer's care, and you can feel him laughing, too.

As you come down, your body relaxing, he helps you sit up. "Are you okay?"

You can help but giggle, taking his face in your hands and kissing him firmly. "Absolutely. It's all part of the backseat charm."

He considers this with a grin that makes you weak. With one simple smile you've fallen in love with your Sunshine boy all over again. "After all, they say nothing worthwhile comes easy..."

"Mmm..."

He helps you put your pants and shoes back on, then tucks himself back into his own pants and fixes his shirt. And in comfortable, loving silence that needs nothing to fill the gaps, the two of you make your way back to the front of the car, ready to journey home.

The moon sits higher in the sky, not as disguised by the trees, and you look up at it and think about what Spencer said, not pulling the car out of park just yet.

"I don't think it's true," you say, prompting him to tilt his head.

"What's that?"

"That nothing worthwhile comes easy. I don't think it's true at all. Do you know why?"

Again, he ponders, not with a grin but with thoughtful eyes and the pout he pulls when he's considering but coming up empty handed. He shakes his head. "Why?"

"Because I love you. It's the most worthwhile thing I've ever done, and it's not difficult in the slightest."

His brown eyes, impossibly big and always brimming with wonder, have started to also brim with tears. They don't fall—they only well and glimmer in the wake of your words, until he blinks and forces them out.

Your hand reaches for his and he squeezes.

"I love you, too. More than you will ever even begin to comprehend." His voice breaks and puts itself back together through each syllable, and in doing so, chips away any sort of belief that he may not truly be lovable. Day by day, moment by moment, you continue to prove to him just how bright and deserving and inherently good he is.

A direct reflection of the two of you suddenly embalms the car— his bright smile that radiates like sunbeams and the glow of moonlight through the windshield that reminds him of your opaline heart.

Spencer lifts your hand to his lips, and in that moment, you vow to yourself that for the rest of your life, you will do everything to keep the clouds away.

And silently, in the gentle press of his lips to the palm of your hand, he vows the very same.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FOR PRE ESTABLISHED CONNECTIONS AND CREATING HISTORY BETWEEN CHARACTERS *  assorted dialogue for giving your characters a history and giving them past things or events to talk about, adjust as necessary

do you remember what i told you last time?

have you been doing well since i saw you?

that's not what you told me back then.

when was the last time i saw you?

you were shorter then.

i'm picking the restaurant this time.

we've known each other since we were children.

always knew i could count on you.

that time was different. this is worse.

you're not going to let me live that down, are you?

i seem to remember a conversation we had back then.

so you changed your mind about it?

do you remember our encounter in paris?

you should know me by now.

am i the only one that knows the truth?

we had a lot of help back then.

your mom told me to look out for you.

you just love bringing that back up to annoy me.

maybe don't mention my past indescretions?

this was never going to work out between us.

i told you not to get attached.

i know more about you than you think.

i was there, remember?

i'm not about to forget all the shit you put me through.

you told me you were going to try and make this work.

remember what i said to you?

the last time i saw you, things were good between us.

you never mentioned this before.

that was the longest flight of my life, and you made it worse.

can i still trust you after all that?

at least we tried to make something work.

we never discussed what happened between us.

okay, but i'm driving the car this time.

i haven't forgotten what you said last week.

i'm still thinking about your comment.

i didn't realize it was you when i first saw you.

you seem to make a lot of enemies around here.

there's not much for us to talk about.

we worked it out last time.

i know you far better than you know yourself.

we have a long history.

is that the shirt you were wearing last time?

what don't i know about you?

i haven't told them about us.

you were the only person i could go to.

you know me.

this is bigger than both of us.

i can't stand your driving.

are you taking me to the place we had dinner last time?

that's not at all what you said.

didn't we agree on that?

i thought i made it very clear where i stand.

are these the same people that came after you last time?

are you still going on about it?

can we talk about it?

staying silent about it won't help.

you're the only person who knows the real me.

this is a bad time to talk about your problems.

[mywritersmind]

CALL ME WHENEVER - LN4

summary : based off the world mental health day video mclaren posted. lando calling his girlfriend to check in.

listen up : no warnings just sweet!! if you ever need help just know you are loved and things DO get better! you are never a burden! my messages are always open <3

word count : 318

⋆｡‧˚⋆

Lando breathed out as he pulled out of the mclaren center. He had just finished up with social and filming a ‘World Mental Health Day’ video. He was tasked to call someone and check in, and while he had called a friend, he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

“Hey!” You answer, Settling down on your couch.

“Hi!” Lando’s smile grew as he heard you on the other end of the call, “I just wanted to check in- Uh… I wanted to see how you were doing.”

You lean back into your pillow, smiling softly at his voice, “I’m okay. I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” He sighs, “A lot. We just filmed this video and it made me realize I don’t ask enough, about how you really are.”

This had definitely been a surprise, you talk almost every day and sure you both complain, celebrate, and describe your days, but this felt nicer than that.

“I appreciate it, Lan.” You suddenly want to hug the man despite being across the country, “Honestly I’m going fucking mental at this new job but knowing I get to see you soon gets me motivated again.” He taps his fingers against the steering wheel.

“I’m excited to see you. It’s gonna be the perfect break.” He would make it perfect for you.

He hears you go silent for a moment, then your soft breath returns, “I’m really glad you called me.”

“I am too.” Lando says, “You know you can call me whenever, right? Anytime.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. You can too, of course. Sometimes it’s just nice to hear a familiar voice.” The rustling of a blanket sounds through before you speak again, “Oh! I have a whole itinerary planned for us!” He laughs, smiling to himself still.

Lando pushes his curls back, “Well then I must hear it all!”

[deathxproof]

technically I get out of work early (compared to my usual schedule) tomorrow so I’m…. Hoping to get some writing done. or I could pass out as soon as I’m home from work because wake up early. who’s to say.

[pasukiyo]

BEAUTIFUL THING

mike schmidt x f!reader word count; 2,573 warnings; smut, no plot, just porn :D summary; there was nothing in the world she wanted more than mike schmidt. but what were the chances he'd ever make a move on her?

 She wanted Mike Schmidt.

 Don’t get her wrong, she absolutely adored Abby, she was sweet, funny, and overall not a hard kid to take care of. But she knew all too well what her intentions were when she agreed to take up the babysitting job— how could she say no when he looked at her like that with those big, deep brown eyes?

 It was another late night spent at the Schmidt house— Mike had just gotten himself a new job with unholy hours, some late night security gig he had no choice but to take. Her mouth opened in a yawn and through her bleary vision, she blinked down to the watch on her wrist. 

 4:30 AM. Mike wouldn’t be back for another hour and a half or so. 

 She sighed and threw her head back against the cushions, staring absentmindedly at the television as some old cartoon played, audio soft and muffled. She wasn’t sure why she even bothered trying to stay up for Mike— she’d been babysitting for him for months, (without pay, might she add) and still, neither he nor she had made any moves. She wasn’t even sure if he ever even intended to make a move on her. 

 But she was just so certain that he felt at least some sort of attraction towards her. She could see it in the way he looked at her, how his eyes would absentmindedly trail down her body against his better judgment, how he’d pull the inside of his bottom lip between his teeth while he did. She could see it in the way his body would react when she came too close, like when she gave him a handshake or playfully shoved his shoulder.

 It was the same way she reacted when he was close. 

 Surely it couldn’t all be for nothing?

 Her eyelids were falling heavy against her eyes and she slowly slumped further into the cushions of the couch, hands tightening around the blanket around her body. Sleep was so close that she could reach out and feel it, and she would’ve slipped into the arms of slumber if it hadn’t been for the opening and closing of the front door. 

 She grumbled and furrowed her brows down at her watch. 

 4:35 AM. Mike wasn’t supposed to be home yet. 

 At the notion, she jolted and snapped her head towards the entrance, her heart thrumming against her chest as she prepared herself for the sight of a total stranger, ready to make a run straight for Abby’s room. She blinked and narrowed her eyes at the dark silhouette of the figure as it hung its coat on the rack bolted on the wall. 

 “Sorry. S’ just me.”

 She knew that voice. It was a voice she always dreamed about, a voice belonging to someone she’d seen practically everyday.

 “Mike?” Her voice came out rough, having not spoken for hours, not since Abby had gone to bed. “What are you doing home so early?” She asked as she pushed herself further up the sofa while Mike made his way towards the recliner, wiping a hand down his face before plopping down into the seat. She could only make out his face through the light from the television but even then, she could sense something was off. 

 Mike tapped his fingers against the armrest of the recliner, “I… I just… needed to leave… I guess,” he replied and she frowned, scooting to the far side of the couch closest to him. “Is… is everything alright?” She questioned, unsure whether or not he needed consoling. Mike leaned further back into his seat and let his eyelids flutter closed, inhaling deep through his nostrils. 

 “Just… is Abby asleep?” He finally asked after a moment and she nodded, humming. “She went down earlier than usual. Actually managed to get her to eat something,” she replied, her lips curving into a smile but quickly faltering again when she realized Mike wasn’t going to reciprocate. He looked almost… distraught. 

 Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, she pondered her options. She’d known Mike for some time but even then, she still knew little to nothing about him. He slept a lot, that was for sure. And he loved his little sister and was trying so hard to be exactly the type of person she needed. But she knew nothing about him, Mike Schmidt himself. She didn’t know what he did in his free time, what he liked to eat, if he had hobbies, nothing. 

 Hell, she’d spent so much time fantasizing about him and filling in all the holes herself, she hardly even acknowledged that he could be somebody entirely else. She didn’t know the first thing about him.

 But she could learn to try. 

 She leaned forward, a steady hand warily finding his on the armrest of the recliner and she flinched when Mike snapped his eyelids open, looking between her and their touching hands. Their gazes surged into one another and she made no moves, as if seeking any sign that she should stop.

 Mike’s heart thrummed so hard inside his chest, it was a miracle that she couldn’t hear it. She looked at him as if she were asking permission— permission to what, he hadn’t even the slightest clue. But in spite of the voices inside of his head telling him he shouldn’t, that he shouldn’t let her, that he was wrong for her, he did. How could he say no when she looked at him like that, as if he were the most beautiful thing she’d ever laid eyes upon?

 His silence gave her the confidence to let her fingers creep further down to the back of his hand, flipping it around until they rested against the heel of his palm. Slowly, she soothed the tips of her fingers up his palm until they fell between the cracks of his, letting her digits curl around his knuckles. Mike shuddered at the touch and let his own fingers press down against hers and he watched as she raised their intertwined hands to her mouth, their gazes molded together as she pressed her lips against his skin. His lips trembled as they fell open and he narrowed his eyes, clinging onto the last bit of restraint he had left. 

 “You can relax with me, Mike,” she whispered against his skin, pressing another soft kiss to the knuckle of his ring finger. “You don’t have to worry while I’m around.”

 Mike pressed his lips back together and fought back the urge to groan at her words, his eyes wandering from their hands, down her arm, to her chest where it pressed against the edge of the sofa. His breath shuddered when he exhaled and the rubber band stretched inside of him finally released and with it, the last of his restraint. 

 Fuck it, he thought. It’s been long enough.

 Mike tugged her closer by the hand and her lids widened, a squeal slipping from her lips, in which he was swift to eat right up, pressing his mouth against hers. With his hand not intertwined with hers, he gripped her hip, working his way up to her waist to squeeze. The sound she made was muffled inside their admittedly messy kiss and he pulled her even closer, her knees having nowhere to go but on the outside of his thighs. 

 Mike groaned and pulled away to catch his breath as her hips ground down against his, already feeling frustrated with the growing erection in his jeans. He blinked up at the woman on top of him, her arms thrown over his shoulders, her chest heaving as she chased air back into her lungs. She stared down at him with hazy irises, still bleary from lack of sleep. 

 “Sorry,” Mike finally managed to breathe out, his palms resting on either of her thighs. “Probably a little much, wasn’t it?”

 He watched as the corners of her lips curved into a grin and she chuckled breathlessly, shaking her head. “Not enough,” she tittered as she surged her lips back into his, one of her hands on his shoulders slithering their way into his mess of dark tendrils, fingers curling and tugging at his roots. He hissed inside her mouth and dug his fingernails into her skin, a whimper falling from her lips, allowing him to take control of the situation. 

 He pressed himself forward and reached for the end of her t-shirt and she briefly broke away to allow the fabric up and over her head, her own fingers already working at the buckle of his belt. Mike leaned forward to pepper kisses all across the tops of her breasts and she threw her head back as he took over in undoing his belt, ripping it from his loops and throwing open the button and zipper of his jeans. 

 She clambered off of him as he raised his hips to tug his pants and boxers down just enough to allow his erection to spring free of its restraints, feeling her stomach do a somersault at the sight as she stripped herself of her own shorts and panties. Mike fought the urge to wrap his hands around his cock as she reached behind her back to undo the clasps of her bra and time seemed to slow as the straps fell from her shoulders, the lave toppling to the floor altogether. 

 He swore he could feel his mouth water and never before this moment had he wanted something, or someone, more. He blinked up at her, following her gaze down to his lap and at his erection that stood tall, waiting for her, dripping with pre-cum. 

 Mike cocked an eyebrow, “you just gonna stand there or you gonna take it?” He asked, voice low and husky and fuck, she thought she’d drop dead right then and there. Still, this was a dangerous game they were playing. “What about Abby?” She whispered, glancing towards the hallway where Abby’s room was. “What if she wakes up?”

 Mike pressed his lips together and bucked his hips, raising a leg to softly give her calf a kick. “You can be quiet, right?” He murmured in question and she felt herself clench from his voice alone. Here Mike Schmidt was, cock out and erect, all because of her. This was something she had only dreamed of— never did she think that this would become reality. 

 Mike cocked his eyebrow again and she shook herself from her thoughts, taking his hand as he guided her back onto his lap. Her body shuddered and her bones rattled as she began to sink herself down, jolting when the tip brushed against her cunt, teeth sinking down into the plush of her bottom lip to contain her sounds. 

 “It’s okay,” Mike whispered. “I got you.”

 Her eyes about rolled in the back of her head at that as his hands kneaded at the flesh of either of her hips, guiding her further down his length, making sure to go agonizingly slow to ensure she felt every single fucking inch of cock inside of her. Tears brimmed the outskirts of her eyelids as she finally sat still on his lap, filled to the brim with cock. Mike let her head fall down against the curve of his shoulder, burying her nose into the crook of his neck as she allowed time to adjust to his size, simultaneously trying to keep her sounds to a minimum. 

 “You’re so tight,” Mike’s breath shuddered in her ear and his voice made goosebumps litter her skin, his fingertips like the icy breath of a ghost against her back. “You think you can handle moving now?” He asked in a whisper against the shell of her ear and she nodded, letting him grab her thighs and push her further up his cock until just the head remained. She cried against his neck when he sank her all the way back down his length, the lewd noise of their wet skin slapping together making her clench around him. “Fff… uuck,” he dragged his curse out as he snapped his hips up against her.

 “Shit!” She gasped as he thrusted again and again and again. And she let him. She let him use her in whatever way he pleased. 

 “Gonna be good for me?” He muttered next to her ear. “Gonna let me take care of you, hm?” She nodded, bobbing her head up and down against his shoulder as he snapped his hips up to hers again and again, daring the coil inside her belly to snap. “Think you can handle it?” He asked again and she nodded once more, crying and biting down on his collar. “Yes!” She cried, fortunately muffled against his skin. 

 So Mike thrusted again, harder and harder, chasing that high, that release he so desperately needed. He could tell she was close— it’d probably been so long since she’d been stuffed by cock like this. She’d probably been waiting for this moment just as long as he has. 

 With the pad of his thumb, he pressed down against her aching bud and Mike could feel a fresh new set of tears soak his skin as she cried, bucking her hips into his touch. His thrusts were as sloppy as they were powerful and she wasn’t sure how much more she could take. 

 “Mmm… Mike… I’m… I’m gonna…” she hardly managed to stutter out, slowly feeling the coil inside her stomach as it began to unravel. 

 “Yeah?” Mike said, his other hand wrapped around her neck and pushing her forehead down against his, gazing up at her closed eyelids. He rolled his head against hers, “look at me,” he breathed out and watched as she slowly fluttered her lids back open, just as more fat tears beaded down her cheeks. The sight was enough to get him to teeter on the edge himself. 

 “Gonna come?” He asked and she nodded, sweat-slicked forehead lolling against his. He nodded too, already feeling her release around him as she spawned around his cock, relying solely on him and his body to keep herself up. She buried her face in the crook of his neck again as she whined and cried, Mike’s thrusts speeding up as he gave himself that final push he needed to send himself reeling, spiraling and shaking with the force of his release. 

 “Fuck,” he growled into the skin just below her ear, squeezing his eyelids shut tighter as he willed himself to keep his sounds on the low, for the sake of his little sister sleeping just in the other room. 

 Silence fell over Mike and the babysitter for a good, long moment as they both recovered from their highs, chasing air back into their lungs as the realization of what they had just done began to sink in. Mike should be mortified— she was his sister’s babysitter, he doesn’t have time for this, she doesn’t deserve him, he shouldn't have done this. 

 But the woman in his lap settled herself closer into him, nuzzling her nose against the crook of his neck, her lips like a crescent moon against his skin as she placed a soft kiss to his flesh there. 

 “I hope you’re okay, Mike,” she whispered and he threw his head back, an arm thrown around her body as he stared up at the ceiling. How could he push her away now?

a/n; so yeah!!! i watched fnaf on friday and it kinda sorta just brought back my whole josh hutcherson phase so enjoy!! this was just a quick little something i wrote up and there's like no plot at all and not proofread LMAO

[ladysharmaa]

Heir

Anthony Bridgerton x reader

summary: telling Anthony she's with child after facing difficulties getting pregnant

It's been three years since the wedding between Anthony Bridgerton and Y/n. The love between the two was one of the strongest anyone could have ever seen, it was obvious that they were made for each other.

They met in a very unusual way. While Anthony was courting Edwina Sharma, Y/n was seen very close to Benedict, the two of them discreetly courting each other. However, they both quickly realized that the connection between them was better as a friendship than a romantic relationship, where things seemed quite forced and uncomfortable. At the same time, Viscount Bridgerton had also broken up with Edwina after she had doubts on their wedding day.

Y/n remembered that day perfectly. She was sitting next to Benedict and the Bridgerton family on the chairs waiting for Edwina to appear and the wedding to begin. She waved a fan, trying to alleviate the horrible heat in that room. The delay seemed to make everyone nervous, especially Anthony who had drops of sweat falling from his forehead and was speaking hurriedly to his mother.

Finally, the doors opened, but, to everyone's surprise, it wasn't Edwina walking down the aisle, it was Kate Sharma, her sister. She didn't look happy, walking with an air of confidence and a serious expression, her eyes never leaving Anthony. The two exchanged quick words, until Anthony dropped his head and closed his eyes in frustration, but he still nodded and Kate left.

After a few tense seconds, Anthony finally had the courage to look at the people watching the scene and said that the wedding had been cancelled, before leaving the room too, leaving the murmur that formed.

"What a scandal." a lady gossiped with another, the two starting a conversation about what could have happened, some theories being completely ridiculous and that could ruin the family's reputation.

Y/n couldn't help herself and turned to them with a polite but sarcastic smile. "My apologies for interrupting, but the only scandal here is the fact that your son, who decided to be a priest, got so many prostitutes pregnant that only they could fill an entire line of these."

The woman gasped in horror while Benedict, who was listening to the conversation, had difficulty containing his laughter. "You foolish girl, how dare—"

"Excuse me, but I have better things to do than sit here and imagine what could have happened." Y/n got up from her chair, looking at the women one last time before going to try and find Anthony.

Despite being acquaintances, since Y/n was so close to Benedict, the two had never spoken much. However, the woman was still worried about Viscount. When she found him, sitting on the porch floor with his head in his hands, Y/n kept him company, also sitting in silence. From then on, a relationship was formed between the two that quickly became inseparable.

"My love, daydreaming again?" Anthony hummed, breaking Y/n out of his thoughts. The man wrapped his shoulders around her waist and pulled her closer, gently kissing her head. "What are you thinking about?"

"How lucky I am."

"Well, I'm the lucky one. I have a beautiful wife who I love very much. I couldn't live without you." he confessed, causing a blush to appear on her cheeks as it always did when he pronounced his love for her. "I have to go finish some paperwork, but then I'll come see you so we can go visit Daphne's son."

Y/n nodded, giving him a quick kiss and sighing as she watched him go to his office. Daphne had just had her second child, a beautiful baby boy. The couple was going to visit the family so that Y/n could help with whatever her sister-in-law needed while Anthony and Simon were going to entertain the baby's brother, a toodler who demanded a lot of attention.

Even though Y/n loved their children with all her heart, it only reminded her of what she couldn't give Anthony. The couple had been trying to get pregnant since they got married, but without success. Anthony's wife had already cried on his shoulder many times because she couldn't carry the child, her heart breaking every time she started her period.

Even though the Bridgerton man assured her several times that all he needed to be happy was her, Y/n still wanted to give him a heir. She wanted the house to be full of their children's laughter and for them to be able to create a mini version of them, a product of their love.

However, he tried not to occupy his days thinking solely about that. It was enough of all the doctors she had seen who told her that it was her fault, that her womb was not capable of developing a baby. Of course, Anthony, as soon as he heard those accusations and the look of complete heartbreak from his wife, demanded that they leave his house.

Y/n she couldn't take the blame anymore, going into a state of shock and for three days she refused to get out of bed. However, her husband would not accept that. He just wanted her to be happy, even if they never had children.

"We don't need children to be happy, I only need you. We have so many nieces and nephews who can take on my role, and we can take care of them from time to time, I'm sure my siblings wouldn't mind." Y/n remembered Anthony telling her this firmly, his hands grabbing her cheeks as they both had tears in their eyes.

And since then, they've never brought it up again.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

"Lady Bridgerton, are you feeling alright?" one of the maids asked worriedly when she saw Y/n enter the dining room for breakfast, immediately turning paler when she smelled the eggs. "Should I fetch for Viscount Bridgerton?"

She had time to shake her head before running to the nearest bathroom, dropping herself onto the cold floor and emptying the contents of her stomach. She could feel tears forming in her eyes, gagging at the sour taste that remained in her mouth. With unsteady legs, she got up and went to wash her mouth, the maids who entered the bathroom right after her helped her to hold herself upright.

However, she quickly realized that she wasn't finished yet when a new wave of nausea consumed her and she knelt again in front of the toilet. She felt strong hands, which she recognized as Anthony's, caress her face before grabbing her hair.

"Oh, Anthony…" she moaned in discomfort. "I don't want you to see me like this."

"Hey, none of that. Come here, love." he comforted, helping turn her around and supporting her against the wall when she was finished. He took a towel and started wiping her mouth.

When Y/n had the strength to open her eyes, she saw her husband's face analyzing her closely, looking for anything that could be wrong. The concern that swam in his eyes made her raise a hand and rest it on his cheek, and he turned slightly to be able to give her a lingering kiss on her palm.

"How are you feeling? I'm going to call the doctor. Are you okay with staying with one of the maids until I get back?"

Y/n held his arm, preventing him from getting up. "No, please don't go. I'm alright now. If this continues, I promise you can call the doctor, this is probably an one time thing. Let's not worry about it."

Anthony sighed, locked in a staring contest with the most important woman in his life. Accepting defeat, but with a serious look that screamed that if that happened again she would see a doctor, the Viscount picked up Y/n, carrying her to their bed.

Laying her down gently and helping Y/n take off her dress, the man pulled the covers up, making sure she was comfortable. Afterwards, he took off his shirt and pants, lying down next to her.

"What are you doing? We can't be in bed already, especially you. It's only morning, we still have many obligations to fulfill."

"No. My wife is not feeling well, and I'm going to take care of her. The paperwork can wait, as well as all my meetings. I just want you to be healthy." Anthony brought her closer to him, Y/n resting her head on his chest so she could hear his heartbeat. "Now, sleep. You need it."

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

It happened again. More specifically, two more times Y/n threw up her meals. The first time, she was alone and not wanting to worry anyone, she preferred to remain silent. After all, she could still be recovering from some kind of illness. The second time, it was in the presence of her most trusted maid, who she considered a friend, Joanne. And so she begged her not to tell the Bridgerton man about it, claiming she would see someone.

Alone, because in addition to feeling sick, she also realized that her period, which was always regular, should have already arrived. Her first thought was that she was pregnant. But upon thinking better, she questioned this possibility. After so many years of trying and failing, why would she be pregnant now? There must be another explanation.

However, she did not share these possibilities with Anthony because the last thing she wanted was to give him hope only to end up disappointed with her inability to give him a heir. Fortunately, Joanne accompanied her, helping Y/n explain to the doctor why the Viscount wasn't there with her.

And when she left that office, she could feel her legs losing strength. She placed a hand on her chest, starting to find it difficult to breathe in completely, still shocked by what the doctor had said to her.

Pregnant.

She was carrying Anthony's child in her womb, something they thought to be impossible. She was going to be a mother. Even though Anthony always assured her that he was completely happy with just her, Y/n knew that he would love being a father. At the beginning of their marriage, he had revealed to her that he dreamed of their family, their chhildren running through the garden while he chased after them and Y/n watched while sitting under the shade, her hand on her swollen belly.

And, by a miracle, this dream could become reality.

"Lady Bridgerton, are you ready to return to the mansion?" Joanne questioned after Y/n sat down in the carriage, her hands shaking together in her lap. Her gaze was understanding, in case she needed a few more moments alone to process this, but her lips held a small smile.

"I'm going to be a mother." she whispered.

"A wonderful, beautiful mother, I'm sure. Congratulations, Lady Bridgerton." she smiled, feeling enormous happiness for Y/n. She knew how much the couple had suffered. "Shall we return?"

Y/n nodded, no longer trusting her voice to speak. The woman took advantage of the short trip to process everything that was happening and before she knew it she was already in front of Anthony's office door.

With barely controlled excitement, she knocked on the door, waiting for permission to enter. When she heard Anthony's voice, she timidly opened the door, seeing that her husband was gathered with his brothers.

"Oh, my apologies. I didn't know your brothers were here. I can come back later."

"Nonsense, love. They can just leave." Anthony said, leaning back in his chair and opening his arms, an invitation for Y/n to come to him. The man, after already having Y/n in his arms, looked at Benedict and Collin, who were looking at him with a smirk. "Did you not hear? I told you to leave."

"Anthony, be nice!"

"It's not a problem, Y/n, we know when we are not wanted. Come on, Benedict, let's leave the lovebirds alone." Collin teased, getting up with his brother and leaving the room, but first, he took Y/n's hand and brought it to his lips. Benedict, for instance, kissed her cheek in a brotherly way. Despite their farewell with Y/n, Anthony was completely ignored by his brothers.

"Did you need something?" the man asked, putting all of his attention on Y/n, who began to fidget with her fingers nervously.

"Actually, I have to tell you something. I went to the doctor today…"

"What? Y/n, why didn't you tell me? Did you feel bad again? Nauseous? What did the doctor say? Are you okay?"

"Calm down, my love. I'm better than fine. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about being sick again, but I didn't want to worry you." she admitted, feeling guilty that Anthony was feeling precisely what she didn't want. "Well, I received some very interesting news."

"Please, just tell me what's wrong. I can't bear not knowing if something is wrong with you." he muttered with a pained look, as if he felt physical pain when thinking about the possibility of Y/n being hurt or unwell.

"Anthony…" she said his name with so much love that he shuddered. "I'm pregnant."

A silence formed in the room. Anthony took so long to react, just looking at her intensely as if he didn't know what was true or not, that Y/n began to feel worry invade her system. Was he not happy? Did he not want a child with her anymore?

"W-What?" Anthony finally managed to whisper, his heart having stopped as soon as he heard those words. "You're pregnant? With my child?"

"Well, obviously." Y/n rolled her eyes. "Are you happy?"

"Happy? My love, I'm more than happy. I love you so much. And I love our child too." the man kissed her fiercely, needing to convey all his love and adoration for her in that kiss.

He was addicted to his wife's lips, and now that he knew she was carrying his child, something animalistic was released inside him. Without giving any warning, he grabbed Y/n and twirled her around, without ever taking his lips off hers. Even so, Y/n giggled against them, circling her hands around his neck and holding on tight.

When her feet touched the floor, the Viscount knelt in front of her, his hands resting hesitantly on her stomach. He looked at Y/n in permission, who just nodded in encouragement and placed her hand on his brown hair, stroking his scalp.

Very gently, Anthony kissed his wife's still flat stomach. "Hello, you. I'm your father and I love you and your mother very much. You two are my entire life."

And the two stayed like that for the rest of the day, moving to the bedroom where Anthony continued to talk to Y/n's belly while exchanging passionate kisses with her. A beautiful new stage had begun in their lives, and they couldn't wait to meet their heir.

[soupacool]

white people make everything about race they just don't say the words out loud. white people, no matter how liberal and not racist they are, make more snap judgements about people based off the color of their skin than anyone else, and they carry the consequences of those decisions carelessly. flippantly. we know we do this, at least subconsciously, and feel shame but shame makes us turn our head and refuse to gaze into the pit of culpability. white guilt, conscious or unconscious, prioritizes the way white people feel about racism as opposed to acknowledging and combating its systemic nature and the way our actions contribute to it.