#well‚ canonverse with giant traits :D

[edupunkn00b]

I Love You Heart and Mind, Ch. 3: Moving In

Prev - Moving In - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

What happened after Logan left Patton's room. -

"All this because Patton can't let go of one person?"

Two people.

Logan's shout still ringing in his ears, Patton couldn't force his smile to return. "Logan, can you stop?" Anger buzzed in the air between them but Patton couldn't keep the words from spilling out. "Please?" He tried and failed to meet Logan's eyes, looking everywhere but.

You don't have to see me. You don't even have to care. Just… stop. For a little while?

He did stop. And then he left. Hugging a framed photo of Thomas' kindergarten graduation, Patton stared at Logan's empty spot and, for a moment, considered going after him. The others… they'd be okay in his room without him… Wouldn't they? It wouldn't be like when they'd gone to Virgil's, right. Right?

The only person he could ask had gone.

"Patton, what happened back there?"

Logan hates me for getting stuck on old feelings I should've let go of a long time ago and he knows I'm just hurting everyone and so he left.

Thomas sounded scared and worried and… Pulling in a deep breath, Patton dragged his eyes back from Logan's spot and grinned. "Oh, that was nothing, Thomas!"  He conjured another set of photos from Thomas' class trip to Sea World. "Sometimes I just get to actin' little silly, that's all…"

Patton looked up from the photos. No-one was buying it, least of all Thomas. And he was right, the literal voice of reason had left and, no matter how many times Patton tried to call him back even though there, he wasn't coming back.

He stumbled his way through the rest of their conversation, dancing on the edges of the growing pit in the center of his chest. What would they say if they really knew how far it went?

They rose back up from his room, the living room a little… sharper than he'd remembered it. He looked up at Logan's empty spot and instead saw—

"Logan!"

As Logan explained he'd never really been gone, Patton fiddled with the sleeves on his hoodie. It sure had seemed like he'd been gone, even if Thomas' quiet 'Falsehood' had shaken him free of a quiet upward spiral into another round of jokes.

Patton was just about to find a way to sneak off and finish baking those cookies he'd started earlier that morning when Logan surprised them all again, especially him.

"You got me a gift?" Patton hugged the cat hoodie close. It smelled like Logan's room, paper and ink, pencil shavings and coffee. Half his mind kept his mouth moving, the quips and jokes that were keeping Thomas happy. The other half of his mind raced, barely registering the puppies Roman seemed to pull out of thin air.

He got me a gift. He doesn't hate me. Even after everything. He doesn't hate me.

~

After eating only half his dinner, Logan excused himself, explaining that, now that Thomas was beginning to feel a little better—the sidelong glance his way made it clear which part of Thomas Logan was referring to—he had to catch up on. Patton watched him go, sticking his thumbs in and out of the little gaps in his cuffs. Roman was quieter than usual and Virgil chattier.

"Padre?" Roman was speaking, tapping Patton's hand where he'd twisted his sleeve around and around. "I asked if you were done."

"Oh?" Patton looked up, blinking. Save for his own plate and water glass, the table had been cleared. Steam poured up from the sink where Virgil was washing the big stock pot and Roman was smiling down at him, looking at his mostly-empty dish. "Oh, um, yes… Thank you," he nodded. "I—I think I am. I…" his eyes darted over to the staircase and he nodded to himself before grinning up at Roman. "I think I might go check on Logan, y'know…" Patton gave a little shrug as he pushed up to his feet. "Just to…"

Head tilted to one side, Roman smiled. "That sounds like a most worthy use of your time this evening, Padre."

Patton was halfway to the stairs before he raced back to the kitchen and grabbed a napkin and the cookie tin. Virgil watched him over his shoulder and chuckled. "Nice," he murmured, and returned to his work.

"Okay, now I'm ready," he grinned and skipped up the stairs. He stopped in front of Logan's door, knuckles inches from the indigo wood. Was this really a good idea? What if Logan was really busy and all he'd be doing was interrupting his train of thought and making it that much harder for him to get everything done in time to go to sleep at a reasonable hour? Was he about to make Logan hate him even more?

Patton looked down at the fuzzy pom poms at the ends of his hoodie strings. Logan didn't hate him. He wouldn't've given him this hoodie if did. Logan might not share his feelings, but he didn't hate him. And maybe… just maybe it would make Logan smile to know that, even after he left the room, Patton was still thinking about him.

He closed his eyes and knocked.

The door opened almost immediately. "Patton?" His glasses didn't quite hide the tiny crinkly between his eyebrows as he looked Patton up and down before peering into his eyes. "Are you quite alright?"

"Yeah, I'm a-okay, Logan," Patton quickly cheered, bouncing on his toes and giving him his best jazz hands. "I'm great, I…" Logan's gaze flicked back to his desk, covered in papers and two open calendars. "I don't want to keep you, I just wanted to tell you…"

Head tilted, Logan peered at him like a puzzle he was nowhere close to solving.

Patton stepped a little closer and almost reached for his hand. At the last second, though, he tugged at the little puppy pouch on his cat hoodie. Cat cardian. Catigan. He giggled. "I just wanted to tell you thank you again for the hoodie. It's really nice and warm and…" He hugged his own arms shrugged. "Thank you, Logan. It was really nice of you."

"Oh," Logan nodded, lips twitching into a tight smile. He tugged at his collar before nodding again and beginning to step back into his room. "It is quite unnecessary to thank me again, you've already thanked me sufficiently."

"Well, I…" Patton mirrored his step, shrinking some of the distance between them. "Wait, I, um…" Arms out, he turned around so his back—and his hood—was facing Logan. "I brought you something!" He pointed to his hood and laughed. "Inside!"

"This is an unconventional mechanism," Logan murmured, fumbling with the hood. As soon as Patton felt the weight lift, he spun back to watch Logan's face as he unwrapped the little packet. "You've brought me cookies?"

"Mm-hm," Patton grinned. "They're oatmeal chocolate chip. With—with walnuts."

Logan stared back at him, expression still and completely unreadable. Even for him.

"You know…" Patton squared his shoulders and tried to look stern. "Extra protein and fiber," he said, smile cracking at the end. "Nutritious cookies. Well," he admitted with a laugh. "More nutritious cookies."

Cookies cradled in his cupped hands, Logan silently blinked down at the cookies. Patton nearly reached to take them back when he finally looked up and whispered, "You listened." Logan's eyes had never looked bigger.

"Well, yeah," Patton said, giving him another little shrug. "I… try to, at least."

Face expressionless, Logan wrapped the cookies in their napkin. "Thank you, Patton," he said before stepping all the way back into his room. "I…" Shaking his head, Logan cut himself off. "I must return to my work before bed."

"Oh—okay, Logan, I'll—"

Logan closed the door before he could finish.

Patton hugged himself again, pretending the plush sleeves beneath his hands meant more than just a hoodie. "See you in the morning?"

The only answer was the squeak of Logan's chair.

[edupunkn00b]

I Love You Heart and Mind Masterpost

Patton and Logan, Morality and Logic, the Heart and the Mind, were just… well. Sometimes they were peanut butter and jelly, caramel and salt, dark chocolate and strawberries. Sometimes, they were a bit like oil and water. And then there were the times they were little more than gasoline and fire.

Still, there was no-one else in the Mindscape who held a bigger piece of Patton's, well, heart. And his mind.

Logan knew his limitations. He knew the boundaries of his role and he knew what happened when his… demeanor crossed those boundaries. He knew how to handle it. What he didn't know was how to handle his growing difficulty keeping it all under control.

Especially around Patton.

Written for @tsspromptmonth‘s Sleepy Bean Fanfic Café event, for @always-anais.

Chapters - [ AO3 ]

The Mind and the Heart

Moving Back

Moving In

In a Legal Setting

Putting Your Self First

Plushies Are Rather Pleasant

We Did It!

[edupunkn00b]

I Love You Heart and Mind, Ch. 4: In a Legal Setting

Prev - In a Legal Setting - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

Logan comes to a fresh conclusion in a courtroom.

Everything changed that night.

Well, perhaps that was a bit exaggerative, Logan mused as he crouched, knees to chin, in the center of his room. There, too large to fit, and too small to change, his mind replayed his failure in Patton's room.

The hurt pouring off the tenderest of them all, the crack in his voice as he pleaded with him to cease his overly harsh assessment of his lingering feelings. The diamond glitter of tears in the corners of his eyes all demonstrated to Logan the primary failing of his technique to remain grounded.

Simply—over simplistically—put, Logan's anger not only had begun to serve as a poor deterrent to his inconvenient changes in size, but was now hurting the Side least equipped to weather his rage.

Thankfully, Logan had been able to escape before any of the others noticed the stretching seams on his polo or his sloped shoulders, hunched low to make himself appear smaller. He sank down, eyes closed, Patton's expression figuratively burned into his mind.

Safe and alone in his room, he managed to tear off his eyeglasses and his clothes before they'd be ruined. Walls and ceiling pressing in against him, he struggled to control his heart.

As a distraction, Logan pushed himself into Thomas' perspective, delaying his own perceptions of the chilly air against his bare skin, the sharp poke of his desk where it dug into his shin.

The tears soaking his floor.

Both hands covering his mouth, he failed to even name what caused his sobs he couldn't stop. Guilt for hurting Patton so? Frustration that, despite his efforts, they all still remained in Patton's room? An undignified whimper squeezed past Logan's lips as he shot up further, back of his head smacking against the ceiling.

He let out a slow breath and focused again on Thomas' senses.

His chest was tight but warm, a spark of melancholic joy as he recollected that damned fishing trip with Uncle Buck. Logan saw through his eyes and the others listened.

Everyone except Patton.

"Say," he said, shoulders dancing in his warning of impending pun. "What's 'Buck' short for?"

"Ah…" Logan shivered as he experienced the stereoscopic thrill of Thomas sifting through his memories from both of their perspectives.

"'Cause he's got little legs!"

Patton's giggle came out choked—thin and forced, his sweet goofy smile failing to brighten his eyes.

"You know you don't have to do that, Patton." There was no sign Thomas was at all aware of how completely Logan had taken control of his speech.

Patton certainly wasn't. He looked back at Thomas' eyes, open and thoroughly unshielded. Was that how he looked at everyone? Vulnerable? Listening with his full heart?

"Try to... hide what you're feeling with jokes. It's okay to be sad sometimes." Logan hugged his knees to his chest and let himself imagine he was holding Patton instead.

"I'm never sad! I'm your happy Pappy Patton! Just a fun-loving father figure figment."

"Falsehood." Spoken in Thomas' voice, Logan's correction came out far gentler than he could have ever managed on his own.

"You said yourself," Patton argued back. "I'm at the core of a lot of your happy feelings."

"You're at the core of a lot of hi—my feelings... Happy or otherwise." Logan watched Patton carefully, waiting to see if he'd caught the slip. He looked too busy trying not to cry to have noticed. Logan's heart clenched.

"When I was younger, my uncle used to take me fishing… and I HATED it. It was boring, throwing the living fish in the cooler upset me... There was no escape for them or for me. On the boat, I was stranded with miles of H2-Open water in every direction…"

Logan smiled to himself when Patton huffed out a tiny laugh at the pun. Eyes screwed shut, he rested his head against the door jam and slowly let slip his hold on Thomas' speech.

By the time the others made motions to return, Logan had shrunk enough to dress. He appeared in his spot just in time for their return.

Along with the fuzzy hoodie he'd intended to give Patton on his birthday.

Patton took to wearing his gift as a proper sweater whenever they were off camera. The first morning Logan came downstairs and saw him, sturdy blue apron tied tightly around his waist, plush sleeves rolled up, Logan could barely manage a few words before the warmth in his chest grew too large and his collar tightened until he couldn't speak. He excused himself with a gesture and a wave.

Eventually, Logan strengthened his ability to maintain his composure and the pair began to spend most quiet mornings together. Logan would loiter in the kitchen, sipping his coffee. Eventually, the his control grew and they'd stand side by side, mixing and chopping and blending together.

Everything had changed.

So much so that Logan had begun a new project, a personal project. Hunched over his desk, favorite pen in hand, he worked to plot out different tactics he might use to begin to reveal his core problem to Patton.

Gradually, Patton had begun to listen to him like none of the others did. He did not always completely understand, but was always willing to try. Perhaps sharing this difficulty with him could reveal some new insight into how Logan could better manage his condition.

At the very least, Logan hoped to finally explain the increasingly loud and caustic outbursts he used to prevent his literal growth spurts from interfering with their videos.

Thoughts churning, his pen wandered across the page and when Logan next looked down, he deciphered a familiar verse.

…love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove.

O no, it is an ever-fixèd mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

Smiling, Logan copied out the rest of the sonnet by memory. He'd nearly finished the final phrase when he felt the summons. With just enough time to think, he grabbed the first book he saw so he wouldn't appear before Thomas with his personal planner—and the sonnet—in view.

He rose up in the witness bench of a large, wood-paneled courtroom. Roman sat next to him in a gleaming white judge's robe, sash cut across it. Blood red. Virgil was a juror, a sharp tie over a long sleeved black shirt similar to his. Virgil's hoodie topped it off.

Patton's did not. His gift, his ever-present cat hoodie was nowhere to be seen, replaced by a three-piece suit.

Logan fought not to stare at him. "You guys are doing a courtroom scenario... without me?" No-one had insisted he be part of this exercise? None of them? Not even… He dragged his eyes away from the bright blue tie so perfectly knotted at Patton's collar and shoved his sour hurt into a tiny steel box in his chest. "Unacceptable."

He let their explanations wash over him as he played his role. Facts and information. Logic. That was all he needed in this moment.

It was all any of them needed from him.

J—Deceit carried on. "I feel like 'which event could cost us more to miss?' is a less interesting question than... 'which event has more to offer us?' Don't you?"

"I don't feel anything," Logan said. Irritation, perhaps. Frustration and annoyance. Those are mere sensation, not a feeling.

Deceit continued his argument and Logan only half-listened to his own responses. It was in his nature to rattle off the details he retained.

"There's always room for me," he said. There should be, at least. It was simple oversight that they hadn't included him sooner.

I don't feel anything.

Deceit smiled back at him. "I know, that's what I said, but Patton insisted we leave you alone. "

Patton said that? Logan wasn't certain if he'd actually spoken aloud. He watched his objection, waiting for an actual denial, waiting for any sort of evidence that J—Deceit had lied.

But Logan knew Deceit didn't always lie. He only got to decide when their truths could be revealed.

I don't feel anything.

Logan fumbled through the rest of the hearing, facts at the ready as a bright hot coal burned in the center of his chest. He was getting sloppy, soon these metaphors might take root. Or they would if anyone listened long enough to him. Eventually the hearing was done, Roman's judgement passed and, numb, Logan slipped back to his room.

His personal planner still sat open on his desk, foolhardy plans taunting him. A waste of paper and ink.

He picked up his pen and crossed out all but the final two lines of the sonnet.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Then he closed the book and crawled into bed.

I don't feel anything.

[edupunkn00b]

I Love You Heart and Mind, Ch. 1: The Mind and the Heart

The Mind and the Heart - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

This chapter takes place around the time of The Mind vs. the Heart. - Rated: G, WC: 2093 -

Zipped up and purrfectly cozy in his fuzzy cat onesie, Patton refilled his hot cocoa and settled back into his cookie corner sofa. Fresh from the oven, two chocolate chip cookies sat cooling on the side table. Hoodie drawn down over his head and a blanket pulled up over his lap, he bowed his head and breathed in the steamy, chocolately goodness in his hands. This was exactly what he needed.

The past few months had been… Well, alone in his room, Patton could safely admit the past few months had been rough. Not that anything really bad had been happening in Thomas' life. In fact, with friends and videos and plays filling his days, everything had been going super-dee-duper for him.

The problem had been, well, Logan.

Okay, Patton thought to himself, sipping his cocoa. Logan himself wasn't the problem. The problem was what happened any time he and Logan were in the same room.

"Hey there, Logan!" Patton had cheered, grinning over his shoulder when the Logical Side had stumbled, bleary eyed, into the kitchen last week. Patton held up a stack of still-steaming chocolate-banana pancakes with a smile. "Are you hungry?" He carefully wiggled the spatula to help make the sweet scent waft through the air. "Hot off the griddle just for your hot grill…" His voice fell away at Logan's confused frown.

"I do not own a grill, Patton," he'd said, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. "Of any temperature."

"Oh, yeah, I know that…" Patton slowly lowered the spatula. "I just meant—"

"Furthermore, if I were hungry for breakfast, I am confident a more nutrient-dense meal would be more appropriate, perhaps something with protein and a little more fiber."

Keeping his smile, Patton plated the pancakes and turned off the stove. Maybe Roman or Anxiety might like them later. "Right you are, Logan!" he cheered. "You know I can make you anything you like. Eggs or…"

Logan frowned, that little crease between his eyebrows growing deeper. "I… I require nothing more than a simple cup of black coffee, Patton." He opened the cupboard and pulled down the mug Patton had given him last Christmas. Fingertips tracing its now-invisible glow-in-the-dark stars, he turned to Patton. "But… thank you, Patton."

Patton had felt his smile waver so he busied himself at the sink. "Of course," he'd said, turning on the water to hide the quiver in his voice. "Open offer!"

It was even worse when Thomas was around.

Patton had popped up as soon as he heard Thomas talking to his good buddy Pedro on the phone. Pedro's been having such a bad time with his roommates, Thomas was sure to need a little hand managing all the feelings that came with his vent sessions.

"Moving, huh?" Thomas smiled, looking relieved.

Patton tucked himself into a seat next to him on the couch. Oh, thank goodness! Pedro was getting a new place! And all the better if he needed a little help from Thomas! "Do it! They're such a good friend, you gotta be a good friend too."

Logan didn't agree, popping up, lips pursed in his 'very serious' face. "Don't do it! You already have two things going on that day and three the next day. You need optimal sleep and rest."

Thomas looked between them, phone still pressed to his ear. This wouldn't do at all.

Shooting Logan a look, he'd slid closer to Thomas. "They'd do the same for you," he'd reminded him.

Arms crossed over his chest, Logan shook his head. "You don't have the time."

The argument only got more heated after that. And if that had been the only time, Patton might have been less worried.

Beckoned by a wave of fuzzy, bubbly good feelings from Thomas, Patton had popped up into the living room, already smiling. "Look at all these cute dogs!" Thomas had cooed, his face the personification of the little pleading eyes emoji.

Caught up in the feeling and his mind filling with images of tiny puppies and big fluffers bounding up and down the stairs, Patton burst out, "Adopt them!"

Thomas stared at him. "What?"

"You need to adopt them!" He pointed to the screen where it showed one of the puppies had been at the shelter for over a month. "Who knows what might happen if you don't adopt them?" Logan would know, that's who. Where was he? Maybe he should summon him. "And they need a good home!" Oh and Thomas would be such a good doggie daddy! He'd be just like him!

"You are not going to adopt an animal." Logan didn't even look at Patton when he appeared.

And Thomas was listening. "Oh?"

"Do you have the time for one, let alone multiple, dogs?" Words clipped and expression stern, Logan threw darts right into Patton's plans. "Are you here in this house enough to give it the attention and love that it needs?

Lava pushed up out of his mouth and he shouted at Logan, "What do you even know about love?!"

Those had been his calmest words that night. Passions flying, Patton couldn't even remember everything he'd said. All he could remember was Logan's stiff frown and the way he'd stood taller and taller, as though straightening his posture might protect him from the onslaught.

It had taken Logan three days to come out of his room again. A week before he'd meet Patton's eyes.

Patton looked down at the mug he still cradled in his hands. He'd let it get cold again. Popping up to refresh it with a little hot water from the kettle, Patton stirred and sipped, waiting for the drink's warmth to spread from his belly to his chest.

This really was all pointless. Logan was right. Feeling this way, feeling this way for him was… pointless. It was only hurting everyone, most of all—

Patton felt the tug half a breath before rising up in Thomas' living room.

"What?" he asked dumbly, glancing quickly at the camera before sneaking a swipe at the wetness in his eyes.

Thomas seemed just as surprised as Patton that he'd been able to summon him. And after Thomas explained why he'd called him, Patton kinda hoped it hadn't actually worked.

Logan popped up just as quickly as he had… And, also just as he had, appeared wearing his onesie, soft blue tie looped over the top of it just like Patton had tied his cardigan over his onesie's shoulders.

Patton grinned, the tiny connection giving his heart a little boost. Between their identical glasses and the polo he'd picked to match with Logan's own style, their corrdinating outfits warmed Patton more than all the onesies in the world ever could.

The moment soon passed, though, and before Patton really understood, he found himself spiraling into an argument with Logan over… Whether or not they should talk to Thomas? What was he doing? There was no way Logan actually thought it was a waste of time to listen to Thomas' feelings, was there?

Caught between disbelief and a hollow ache in the center of his chest at Logan's harsh dismissal, Patton scolded when he should have listened, pushed when he should have followed, every minute, growing more and more insistent until finally Thomas had to show them the woven thread connecting them.

Smiling at Logan's newly calm face—and the bright glow he always got when he learned some new factoid or tidbit—Patton sank down and changed back into his onesie. Instead of retreating to his room, though, to bask in the cozy warmth of how their… discussion had ended, he loitered in the Mindscape common room. Was he hoping Logan might do the same?

Maaaaaybe.

"Oh… Patton."

He grinned when his tiny unvoiced wish came true. "Hiya, Logan!"

Logan looked around the room, hood pulled up on his alicorn onesie, wings dancing with every gesture. He hugged his new Trivial Pursuit book close to his chest and Patton had to shake away the question of whether or not you could be jealous of a book.

"I…" Logan began carefully. "I planned to do a little more reading. Would…" He offered Patton a tight smile.

Patton was already nodding. Whatever Logan wanted was his.

Logan's smile grew, just a little. "Would it be acceptable to you if I were to read in here… with you?"

"Definitely!" Patton replied, a little louder than he'd intended. "Oops," he laughed, briefly covering his mouth. "I'll let you read," he said in a quieter voice.

Logan watched him over the top of his book for a moment before lowering it with another tiny smile. "I do not require silence to read this book."

"Thanks!" Patton giggled and hugged himself, hands covered his the paw-sleeves. "I'm glad you changed back, too," he said, matching Logan's little smile with his own grin. "These things are just so soft and secure."

Was he just imagining Logan's cheeks pinked when he looked up from his book? He definitely didn't imagine the way Logan's smile grew just a little larger. "You're very correct."

Relishing the light behind that rare soft smile, Patton nodded. "Always the best for taking a little nap..."

Logan chuckled, "Don't you mean a little cat nap?"

Patton's mouth hung open. "Did you just make a dad joke?"

He tried to deny it but a tiny bit of him looked… pleased Patton had caught it so quickly. "Um... no. I did not mean to—"

His heart soared. "I am so proud!" he shouted, happy bubbled popping in his chest.

Panic washed over Logan's face and he shook his head. "Please don't be proud..." He shifted in place, like he couldn't decide whether to sink out or not. "Or tell anyone."

The fear in Logan's eyes cut Patton's happy squeal short. "Oh, Logan, no, I—"

Eyes wide and tugging at his tie, Logan sank out of the room. A thud from Logan's room shook the ceiling just a few seconds later.

"Logan!" Patton cried. He tried to sink down, to follow him, but Logan had locked him out. If Patton wanted to see him, he'd have to do it on foot. "Logan, I'm sorry," he called, running up the stairs. He stopped in front of Logan's door, hand hovering above the doorknob. "Logan?" he said again, mouth close to the door to better be heard through the solid wood. He heard movement inside, the sound of Logan's chair being shoved aside, the squeak of his bedframe. Finally, he knocked. "Logan? Logan, I'm so sorry. Can I come in?"

"No!" Logan roared from inside his room. The door shook on its hinges, hallway floor rumbling under Patton's feet. "We can discuss this later!" he said, only slightly quieter this time.

"Please, Logan," Patton said, leaning close to the door. "Don't leave things like this, I—"

"Leave me be, Morality!" he warned, another heavy thud coming from inside the room.

Eyes burning, Patton stepped back. He fiddled with his onesie paws and watched the shadow just under Logan's door. "O—okay, Logi—" He couldn't make his mouth form the title. Not here. It had been hard enough in front of Thomas, but here? In their hallway, his own room just steps away? No. Here, he was more than just formal logic and cold knowledge. Here he was Logan.

"I'll be in my room," he said, plush-covered hand brushing down the door. "Y'know… if… if you need me?" He listened, waiting, hoping Logan might change his mind and let him in so they could talk this out without letting it fester. When Logan's door remained shut, Patton nodded to himself and made his way into his own room.

~

Head bowed with his knees tucked up to his chin, Logan listened as Patton's quiet footsteps finally retreated, leaving him alone. With a sigh, he shivered and the back of his head scraped against his ceiling light, cracking the glass light shade. Damn. He'd need to repair that.

His alicorn onesie lay in salty wet tatters on the floor beneath him and he was fairly certain he'd broken at least two of the casters on his desk chair. At least the reinforcements he'd made to his bed seemed to have served their purpose. Perhaps he could convince Remus he required similar structural improvements be made to his desk and chair for… extracurricular activities.

Later. For now, he needed to focus on calming down. Until he could recenter himself and reduce his size by at least three fold, he must stay remain where he was.

[edupunkn00b]

I Love You Heart and Mind, Ch. 2: Moving Back

Prev - I Love You Heart and Mind - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

Logan develops new ways to… divert his emotional reactions and avoid repeated instances of his physical transformations.

"E equals MC scared!" Logan shouted, pushing his growing—and his growing—fear at the entire situation into a virtual box in his chest. Like Sherlock's mind palace, he'd found it a useful mental mechanism in, well, situations such as these. Sealed tight with a heavy chain wrapped around it, the inner box heaved and sizzled, searing hot when he thought too much about it or tried to examine it, but…

He took a careful breath. Only an infinitesimal tightening around his collar and the room appeared to be essentially the same size it had been when they'd first arrived.

It worked!

Continuing his explanation of their presence and the job ahead, Logan avoided Patton's eyes. Amplified under the influence of Anxiety's room, tender Patton was caught in the figurative grip of his arachnophobia, the fear overpowering his own thinking until an artistic rendering of the dreaded arthropods threatened to push him closer to the actual spiders hiding in the cobwebs littering the rest of the space.

Logan eyed the unusually large Argiope aurantia working to repair the damage his own sudden appearance next to the banister had caused. He ignored Patton's request to switch positions and wordlessly willed Roman and Thomas to do the same. Patton was safer in his current position, even if his fear did not permit him to recognize it.

But even this intellectual understanding was insufficient to fight the draw of his plaintive requests, so Logan struggled to force his attention away from the Heart's shuddering fear. They had a task ahead and, once they'd convinced Anxiety of his enduring importance, they would all be able to leave.

~

Over the following months, Logan encountered additional opportunities to refine this new technique for emotional control. And, to varying degrees, his fellow Sides aided in this effort. Roman was rarely a genuine obstacle, his own emotional outbursts almost comically simple to reframe as annoyances. Expressions of irritation at the Princely Side, even when not all could honestly be characterized as provoked, provided Logan a useful outlet, a metaphorical steam valve of sorts.

Virgil’s typical dry sarcasm was similarly easy to allow to slip by unprocessed. He rarely triggered a true emotional reaction and the anxious Side’s need for calm, steady handling engendered itself to calm, steady responses.

The Others were such infrequent features in Logan’s days that their presence consumed him with curiosity, effortlessly pushing aside all other feelings.

And then there was Patton.

As Thomas’ Heart, Patton’s demeanor was a study in the vagaries of human emotional expression. Also, as Thomas’ Heart, Patton’s moods were remarkably transferrable to the other Sides, none more, it seemed than to him, Thomas’ Mind. Patton’s joy sparked a palpable warmth in the center of Logan’s chest, his laughter almost literally musical to his ears. It was challenging to resist an incomprehensible urge to join in, even when he did not know or understand the source of Patton’s mirth.

Equally, Patton’s sadness cut him deep in his core, sending a raw ache through his nerves that was difficult to ignore.

There appeared to be a visual element to the phenomenon. His empathetic reactions to Patton’s emotions were unlike other happenings in the Mindscape of which Logan was aware even when he was not witness to them. Roman’s—and Remus’—creative efforts registered in his mind regardless of where either twin was working. Virgil’s anxious spirals reached him from every spot in the Mindscape. It appeared, however, that Logan needed to visually—or auditorially—perceive Patton’s emotional expressions in order to feel them for himself.

Logan had also noted the other Sides did not appear to experience or otherwise be aware of the phenomenon, a finding he tucked away for eventual analysis. To be fully honest, Logan was in no rush to uncover the cause of the other Sides’ obliviousness. Their inattention had served him well in his attempts to conceal his more physical responses to his own overpowering emotions.

It seemed, in this instance at least, that the less the other Sides knew, the better.

“Good morning, Patton.”

For not the first time that week, Logan stepped into the kitchen in search of his morning coffee and discovered Patton staring out the window, lacidaisically stirring something sticky and sweet-smelling in a big metal bowl. On most previous mornings, Patton would greet him with a cheery smile and a boisterous salutation before he’d even gotten both feet on the linoleum tiled floor. Lately, though, Patton appeared so lost in thought it took spoken words or even a soft touch to break him of his reverie.

With any other Side, Logan would hesitate to initiate physical contact without express permission, however Patton’s frequent and spontaneous group hugs left Logan feeling slightly more comfortable reaching for him on his own accord. “Good morning, Patton,” he said again, lightly letting his hand rest on Patton’s shoulder.

He started, turning to Logan with a wide smile. Then Patton looked down at the bowl instead of meeting his eyes. “Oh, hiya, Logan! I didn’t hear you come in!” Still grinning, he lifted the bowl of a batter that appeared more chocolate chip than any other ingredient. “I was going to sneak a little batch of cookies into the oven before breakfast,” he said before giving the bowl one more stir. “Caught me bowl-handed!” he laughed, loudly.

If Patton was laughing, why did Logan’s eyes burn?

Logan dropped his hand before crossing his arms as though that might hold back the tightening he felt around his waist and throat. “I would recommend starting with a more balanced approach to the morning meal. Though… the batter does smell rather entic—”

“I’ve got it!” Roman cried, leaping into the kitchen and tearing the bowl from of Patton’s hands.

Patton blinked up at Roman, confusion pulling his expression down into a little frown.

Until the brainstorm hit them all.

A variety of stringed instruments played in the background, a rousing harmony crescendoing as a vision of Thomas and his last boyfriend appeared before them. Dressed in Roman’s tunic knelt down on one knee before him. Arm outstretched, he offered his ex a giant golden key tied with a red bow. “Mi amore! You’ve always held the key to my heart!” he cried, his other hand pressed to his chest. Suddenly, the music swelled and he broke into song. “Let’s go back to the way things used to be! Can’t you see we were always meant to be?”

“Whatcha doin’ there, Kiddo?” Patton asked, smile stretched so wide Logan could see his molars.

Logan had thought only Remus could do that.

The illusion fell away and Roman sat cross-legged on the floor, the key cradled in his lap. “I know if I can come up with a good enough idea, I can find a way for Thomas to win back his heart.”

“Really, Roman… Is this wise?” Logan frowned, fists tight at his sides. “That breakup was—”

“Do you really think it could work?” Barely louder than a whisper, Patton’s voice struck him, shattering Logan's remaining arguments. His face held such hope, smile wavering now, but soft and open. Still reeling from Roman’s brainstorm, Logan couldn’t shake the image of a blossom opening to the sun.

Yet mark'd I where the bolt of Cupid fell: It fell upon a little western flower, Before milk-white, now purple with love's wound, And maidens call it love-in-idleness.

Logan shook his head again as Roman smiled, taking Patton’s hand. “Come, Padre… Let’s go to the Imagination. I have so many more ideas.”

“Okay,” Patton nodded, still smiling. “If you’re sure.”

Logan closed his eyes and screamed, lips and throat closed. Silent. Neither noticed how tight his tie had gotten.

“I do miss him," Patton said, voice wistful. "Thomas misses him.”

“I know, Padre,” Roman said, stepping through a fresh portal to the Imagination. “We all do.”

The dull ache in Logan’s chest did not leave with them when the portal closed. He poured himself a cup of coffee and returned to his room, the muted echoes of Roman’s plans reverberating through the Mindscape.

[edupunkn00b]

I Love You Heart and Mind

Chapters: 1/7 Fandom: Sanders Sides (Web Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders Characters: Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders, Thomas Sanders (Video Blogging RPF), Character!Thomas Additional Tags: canonverse, Takes place throughout the series, time skip‚ you say?, logicality - Freeform, eventually, giant, okay‚ canonverse with a twist, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Logan looks like a total asshole in the first part of chapter 1, then you get to find out what's really going on, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, alternating pov Summary:

Patton and Logan, Morality and Logic, the Heart and the Mind, were just… well. Sometimes they were peanut butter and jelly, caramel and salt, dark chocolate and strawberries. Sometimes, they were a bit like oil and water. And then there were the times they were little more than gasoline and fire.

Still, there was no-one else in the Mindscape who held a bigger piece of Patton's, well, heart. And his mind.

Logan knew his limitations. He knew the boundaries of his role and he knew what happened when his… demeanor crossed those boundaries. He knew how to handle it. What he didn't know was how to handle his growing difficulty keeping it all under control.

Especially around Patton.

Written for @tsspromptmonth‘s Sleepy Bean Fanfic Café event, for @always-anais.

New chapters daily. Chapter 1 on Tumblr.

[edupunkn00b]

Just in time for Patton's birthday, the final chapter comes out today!

I Love You Heart and Mind, Ch. 4: In a Legal Setting

Prev - In a Legal Setting - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

Logan comes to a fresh conclusion in a courtroom.

Everything changed that night.

Well, perhaps that was a bit exaggerative, Logan mused as he crouched, knees to chin, in the center of his room. There, too large to fit, and too small to change, his mind replayed his failure in Patton's room.

The hurt pouring off the tenderest of them all, the crack in his voice as he pleaded with him to cease his overly harsh assessment of his lingering feelings. The diamond glitter of tears in the corners of his eyes all demonstrated to Logan the primary failing of his technique to remain grounded.

Simply—over simplistically—put, Logan's anger not only had begun to serve as a poor deterrent to his inconvenient changes in size, but was now hurting the Side least equipped to weather his rage.

Thankfully, Logan had been able to escape before any of the others noticed the stretching seams on his polo or his sloped shoulders, hunched low to make himself appear smaller. He sank down, eyes closed, Patton's expression figuratively burned into his mind.

Safe and alone in his room, he managed to tear off his eyeglasses and his clothes before they'd be ruined. Walls and ceiling pressing in against him, he struggled to control his heart.

As a distraction, Logan pushed himself into Thomas' perspective, delaying his own perceptions of the chilly air against his bare skin, the sharp poke of his desk where it dug into his shin.

The tears soaking his floor.

Both hands covering his mouth, he failed to even name what caused his sobs he couldn't stop. Guilt for hurting Patton so? Frustration that, despite his efforts, they all still remained in Patton's room? An undignified whimper squeezed past Logan's lips as he shot up further, back of his head smacking against the ceiling.

He let out a slow breath and focused again on Thomas' senses.

His chest was tight but warm, a spark of melancholic joy as he recollected that damned fishing trip with Uncle Buck. Logan saw through his eyes and the others listened.

Everyone except Patton.

"Say," he said, shoulders dancing in his warning of impending pun. "What's 'Buck' short for?"

"Ah…" Logan shivered as he experienced the stereoscopic thrill of Thomas sifting through his memories from both of their perspectives.

"'Cause he's got little legs!"

Patton's giggle came out choked—thin and forced, his sweet goofy smile failing to brighten his eyes.

"You know you don't have to do that, Patton." There was no sign Thomas was at all aware of how completely Logan had taken control of his speech.

Patton certainly wasn't. He looked back at Thomas' eyes, open and thoroughly unshielded. Was that how he looked at everyone? Vulnerable? Listening with his full heart?

"Try to... hide what you're feeling with jokes. It's okay to be sad sometimes." Logan hugged his knees to his chest and let himself imagine he was holding Patton instead.

"I'm never sad! I'm your happy Pappy Patton! Just a fun-loving father figure figment."

"Falsehood." Spoken in Thomas' voice, Logan's correction came out far gentler than he could have ever managed on his own.

"You said yourself," Patton argued back. "I'm at the core of a lot of your happy feelings."

"You're at the core of a lot of hi—my feelings... Happy or otherwise." Logan watched Patton carefully, waiting to see if he'd caught the slip. He looked too busy trying not to cry to have noticed. Logan's heart clenched.

"When I was younger, my uncle used to take me fishing… and I HATED it. It was boring, throwing the living fish in the cooler upset me... There was no escape for them or for me. On the boat, I was stranded with miles of H2-Open water in every direction…"

Logan smiled to himself when Patton huffed out a tiny laugh at the pun. Eyes screwed shut, he rested his head against the door jam and slowly let slip his hold on Thomas' speech.

By the time the others made motions to return, Logan had shrunk enough to dress. He appeared in his spot just in time for their return.

Along with the fuzzy hoodie he'd intended to give Patton on his birthday.

Patton took to wearing his gift as a proper sweater whenever they were off camera. The first morning Logan came downstairs and saw him, sturdy blue apron tied tightly around his waist, plush sleeves rolled up, Logan could barely manage a few words before the warmth in his chest grew too large and his collar tightened until he couldn't speak. He excused himself with a gesture and a wave.

Eventually, Logan strengthened his ability to maintain his composure and the pair began to spend most quiet mornings together. Logan would loiter in the kitchen, sipping his coffee. Eventually, the his control grew and they'd stand side by side, mixing and chopping and blending together.

Everything had changed.

So much so that Logan had begun a new project, a personal project. Hunched over his desk, favorite pen in hand, he worked to plot out different tactics he might use to begin to reveal his core problem to Patton.

Gradually, Patton had begun to listen to him like none of the others did. He did not always completely understand, but was always willing to try. Perhaps sharing this difficulty with him could reveal some new insight into how Logan could better manage his condition.

At the very least, Logan hoped to finally explain the increasingly loud and caustic outbursts he used to prevent his literal growth spurts from interfering with their videos.

Thoughts churning, his pen wandered across the page and when Logan next looked down, he deciphered a familiar verse.

…love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove.

O no, it is an ever-fixèd mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

Smiling, Logan copied out the rest of the sonnet by memory. He'd nearly finished the final phrase when he felt the summons. With just enough time to think, he grabbed the first book he saw so he wouldn't appear before Thomas with his personal planner—and the sonnet—in view.

He rose up in the witness bench of a large, wood-paneled courtroom. Roman sat next to him in a gleaming white judge's robe, sash cut across it. Blood red. Virgil was a juror, a sharp tie over a long sleeved black shirt similar to his. Virgil's hoodie topped it off.

Patton's did not. His gift, his ever-present cat hoodie was nowhere to be seen, replaced by a three-piece suit.

Logan fought not to stare at him. "You guys are doing a courtroom scenario... without me?" No-one had insisted he be part of this exercise? None of them? Not even… He dragged his eyes away from the bright blue tie so perfectly knotted at Patton's collar and shoved his sour hurt into a tiny steel box in his chest. "Unacceptable."

He let their explanations wash over him as he played his role. Facts and information. Logic. That was all he needed in this moment.

It was all any of them needed from him.

J—Deceit carried on. "I feel like 'which event could cost us more to miss?' is a less interesting question than... 'which event has more to offer us?' Don't you?"

"I don't feel anything," Logan said. Irritation, perhaps. Frustration and annoyance. Those are mere sensation, not a feeling.

Deceit continued his argument and Logan only half-listened to his own responses. It was in his nature to rattle off the details he retained.

"There's always room for me," he said. There should be, at least. It was simple oversight that they hadn't included him sooner.

I don't feel anything.

Deceit smiled back at him. "I know, that's what I said, but Patton insisted we leave you alone. "

Patton said that? Logan wasn't certain if he'd actually spoken aloud. He watched his objection, waiting for an actual denial, waiting for any sort of evidence that J—Deceit had lied.

But Logan knew Deceit didn't always lie. He only got to decide when their truths could be revealed.

I don't feel anything.

Logan fumbled through the rest of the hearing, facts at the ready as a bright hot coal burned in the center of his chest. He was getting sloppy, soon these metaphors might take root. Or they would if anyone listened long enough to him. Eventually the hearing was done, Roman's judgement passed and, numb, Logan slipped back to his room.

His personal planner still sat open on his desk, foolhardy plans taunting him. A waste of paper and ink.

He picked up his pen and crossed out all but the final two lines of the sonnet.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Then he closed the book and crawled into bed.

I don't feel anything.

[edupunkn00b]

Just in time for Patton's birthday, the final chapter comes out today!

I Love You Heart and Mind, Ch. 3: Moving In

Prev - Moving In - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

What happened after Logan left Patton's room. -

"All this because Patton can't let go of one person?"

Two people.

Logan's shout still ringing in his ears, Patton couldn't force his smile to return. "Logan, can you stop?" Anger buzzed in the air between them but Patton couldn't keep the words from spilling out. "Please?" He tried and failed to meet Logan's eyes, looking everywhere but.

You don't have to see me. You don't even have to care. Just… stop. For a little while?

He did stop. And then he left. Hugging a framed photo of Thomas' kindergarten graduation, Patton stared at Logan's empty spot and, for a moment, considered going after him. The others… they'd be okay in his room without him… Wouldn't they? It wouldn't be like when they'd gone to Virgil's, right. Right?

The only person he could ask had gone.

"Patton, what happened back there?"

Logan hates me for getting stuck on old feelings I should've let go of a long time ago and he knows I'm just hurting everyone and so he left.

Thomas sounded scared and worried and… Pulling in a deep breath, Patton dragged his eyes back from Logan's spot and grinned. "Oh, that was nothing, Thomas!"  He conjured another set of photos from Thomas' class trip to Sea World. "Sometimes I just get to actin' little silly, that's all…"

Patton looked up from the photos. No-one was buying it, least of all Thomas. And he was right, the literal voice of reason had left and, no matter how many times Patton tried to call him back even though there, he wasn't coming back.

He stumbled his way through the rest of their conversation, dancing on the edges of the growing pit in the center of his chest. What would they say if they really knew how far it went?

They rose back up from his room, the living room a little… sharper than he'd remembered it. He looked up at Logan's empty spot and instead saw—

"Logan!"

As Logan explained he'd never really been gone, Patton fiddled with the sleeves on his hoodie. It sure had seemed like he'd been gone, even if Thomas' quiet 'Falsehood' had shaken him free of a quiet upward spiral into another round of jokes.

Patton was just about to find a way to sneak off and finish baking those cookies he'd started earlier that morning when Logan surprised them all again, especially him.

"You got me a gift?" Patton hugged the cat hoodie close. It smelled like Logan's room, paper and ink, pencil shavings and coffee. Half his mind kept his mouth moving, the quips and jokes that were keeping Thomas happy. The other half of his mind raced, barely registering the puppies Roman seemed to pull out of thin air.

He got me a gift. He doesn't hate me. Even after everything. He doesn't hate me.

~

After eating only half his dinner, Logan excused himself, explaining that, now that Thomas was beginning to feel a little better—the sidelong glance his way made it clear which part of Thomas Logan was referring to—he had to catch up on. Patton watched him go, sticking his thumbs in and out of the little gaps in his cuffs. Roman was quieter than usual and Virgil chattier.

"Padre?" Roman was speaking, tapping Patton's hand where he'd twisted his sleeve around and around. "I asked if you were done."

"Oh?" Patton looked up, blinking. Save for his own plate and water glass, the table had been cleared. Steam poured up from the sink where Virgil was washing the big stock pot and Roman was smiling down at him, looking at his mostly-empty dish. "Oh, um, yes… Thank you," he nodded. "I—I think I am. I…" his eyes darted over to the staircase and he nodded to himself before grinning up at Roman. "I think I might go check on Logan, y'know…" Patton gave a little shrug as he pushed up to his feet. "Just to…"

Head tilted to one side, Roman smiled. "That sounds like a most worthy use of your time this evening, Padre."

Patton was halfway to the stairs before he raced back to the kitchen and grabbed a napkin and the cookie tin. Virgil watched him over his shoulder and chuckled. "Nice," he murmured, and returned to his work.

"Okay, now I'm ready," he grinned and skipped up the stairs. He stopped in front of Logan's door, knuckles inches from the indigo wood. Was this really a good idea? What if Logan was really busy and all he'd be doing was interrupting his train of thought and making it that much harder for him to get everything done in time to go to sleep at a reasonable hour? Was he about to make Logan hate him even more?

Patton looked down at the fuzzy pom poms at the ends of his hoodie strings. Logan didn't hate him. He wouldn't've given him this hoodie if did. Logan might not share his feelings, but he didn't hate him. And maybe… just maybe it would make Logan smile to know that, even after he left the room, Patton was still thinking about him.

He closed his eyes and knocked.

The door opened almost immediately. "Patton?" His glasses didn't quite hide the tiny crinkly between his eyebrows as he looked Patton up and down before peering into his eyes. "Are you quite alright?"

"Yeah, I'm a-okay, Logan," Patton quickly cheered, bouncing on his toes and giving him his best jazz hands. "I'm great, I…" Logan's gaze flicked back to his desk, covered in papers and two open calendars. "I don't want to keep you, I just wanted to tell you…"

Head tilted, Logan peered at him like a puzzle he was nowhere close to solving.

Patton stepped a little closer and almost reached for his hand. At the last second, though, he tugged at the little puppy pouch on his cat hoodie. Cat cardian. Catigan. He giggled. "I just wanted to tell you thank you again for the hoodie. It's really nice and warm and…" He hugged his own arms shrugged. "Thank you, Logan. It was really nice of you."

"Oh," Logan nodded, lips twitching into a tight smile. He tugged at his collar before nodding again and beginning to step back into his room. "It is quite unnecessary to thank me again, you've already thanked me sufficiently."

"Well, I…" Patton mirrored his step, shrinking some of the distance between them. "Wait, I, um…" Arms out, he turned around so his back—and his hood—was facing Logan. "I brought you something!" He pointed to his hood and laughed. "Inside!"

"This is an unconventional mechanism," Logan murmured, fumbling with the hood. As soon as Patton felt the weight lift, he spun back to watch Logan's face as he unwrapped the little packet. "You've brought me cookies?"

"Mm-hm," Patton grinned. "They're oatmeal chocolate chip. With—with walnuts."

Logan stared back at him, expression still and completely unreadable. Even for him.

"You know…" Patton squared his shoulders and tried to look stern. "Extra protein and fiber," he said, smile cracking at the end. "Nutritious cookies. Well," he admitted with a laugh. "More nutritious cookies."

Cookies cradled in his cupped hands, Logan silently blinked down at the cookies. Patton nearly reached to take them back when he finally looked up and whispered, "You listened." Logan's eyes had never looked bigger.

"Well, yeah," Patton said, giving him another little shrug. "I… try to, at least."

Face expressionless, Logan wrapped the cookies in their napkin. "Thank you, Patton," he said before stepping all the way back into his room. "I…" Shaking his head, Logan cut himself off. "I must return to my work before bed."

"Oh—okay, Logan, I'll—"

Logan closed the door before he could finish.

Patton hugged himself again, pretending the plush sleeves beneath his hands meant more than just a hoodie. "See you in the morning?"

The only answer was the squeak of Logan's chair.

[edupunkn00b]

Just in time for Patton's birthday, the final chapter comes out today!

I Love You Heart and Mind, Ch. 1: The Mind and the Heart

The Mind and the Heart - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

This chapter takes place around the time of The Mind vs. the Heart. - Rated: G, WC: 2093 -

Zipped up and purrfectly cozy in his fuzzy cat onesie, Patton refilled his hot cocoa and settled back into his cookie corner sofa. Fresh from the oven, two chocolate chip cookies sat cooling on the side table. Hoodie drawn down over his head and a blanket pulled up over his lap, he bowed his head and breathed in the steamy, chocolately goodness in his hands. This was exactly what he needed.

The past few months had been… Well, alone in his room, Patton could safely admit the past few months had been rough. Not that anything really bad had been happening in Thomas' life. In fact, with friends and videos and plays filling his days, everything had been going super-dee-duper for him.

The problem had been, well, Logan.

Okay, Patton thought to himself, sipping his cocoa. Logan himself wasn't the problem. The problem was what happened any time he and Logan were in the same room.

"Hey there, Logan!" Patton had cheered, grinning over his shoulder when the Logical Side had stumbled, bleary eyed, into the kitchen last week. Patton held up a stack of still-steaming chocolate-banana pancakes with a smile. "Are you hungry?" He carefully wiggled the spatula to help make the sweet scent waft through the air. "Hot off the griddle just for your hot grill…" His voice fell away at Logan's confused frown.

"I do not own a grill, Patton," he'd said, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. "Of any temperature."

"Oh, yeah, I know that…" Patton slowly lowered the spatula. "I just meant—"

"Furthermore, if I were hungry for breakfast, I am confident a more nutrient-dense meal would be more appropriate, perhaps something with protein and a little more fiber."

Keeping his smile, Patton plated the pancakes and turned off the stove. Maybe Roman or Anxiety might like them later. "Right you are, Logan!" he cheered. "You know I can make you anything you like. Eggs or…"

Logan frowned, that little crease between his eyebrows growing deeper. "I… I require nothing more than a simple cup of black coffee, Patton." He opened the cupboard and pulled down the mug Patton had given him last Christmas. Fingertips tracing its now-invisible glow-in-the-dark stars, he turned to Patton. "But… thank you, Patton."

Patton had felt his smile waver so he busied himself at the sink. "Of course," he'd said, turning on the water to hide the quiver in his voice. "Open offer!"

It was even worse when Thomas was around.

Patton had popped up as soon as he heard Thomas talking to his good buddy Pedro on the phone. Pedro's been having such a bad time with his roommates, Thomas was sure to need a little hand managing all the feelings that came with his vent sessions.

"Moving, huh?" Thomas smiled, looking relieved.

Patton tucked himself into a seat next to him on the couch. Oh, thank goodness! Pedro was getting a new place! And all the better if he needed a little help from Thomas! "Do it! They're such a good friend, you gotta be a good friend too."

Logan didn't agree, popping up, lips pursed in his 'very serious' face. "Don't do it! You already have two things going on that day and three the next day. You need optimal sleep and rest."

Thomas looked between them, phone still pressed to his ear. This wouldn't do at all.

Shooting Logan a look, he'd slid closer to Thomas. "They'd do the same for you," he'd reminded him.

Arms crossed over his chest, Logan shook his head. "You don't have the time."

The argument only got more heated after that. And if that had been the only time, Patton might have been less worried.

Beckoned by a wave of fuzzy, bubbly good feelings from Thomas, Patton had popped up into the living room, already smiling. "Look at all these cute dogs!" Thomas had cooed, his face the personification of the little pleading eyes emoji.

Caught up in the feeling and his mind filling with images of tiny puppies and big fluffers bounding up and down the stairs, Patton burst out, "Adopt them!"

Thomas stared at him. "What?"

"You need to adopt them!" He pointed to the screen where it showed one of the puppies had been at the shelter for over a month. "Who knows what might happen if you don't adopt them?" Logan would know, that's who. Where was he? Maybe he should summon him. "And they need a good home!" Oh and Thomas would be such a good doggie daddy! He'd be just like him!

"You are not going to adopt an animal." Logan didn't even look at Patton when he appeared.

And Thomas was listening. "Oh?"

"Do you have the time for one, let alone multiple, dogs?" Words clipped and expression stern, Logan threw darts right into Patton's plans. "Are you here in this house enough to give it the attention and love that it needs?

Lava pushed up out of his mouth and he shouted at Logan, "What do you even know about love?!"

Those had been his calmest words that night. Passions flying, Patton couldn't even remember everything he'd said. All he could remember was Logan's stiff frown and the way he'd stood taller and taller, as though straightening his posture might protect him from the onslaught.

It had taken Logan three days to come out of his room again. A week before he'd meet Patton's eyes.

Patton looked down at the mug he still cradled in his hands. He'd let it get cold again. Popping up to refresh it with a little hot water from the kettle, Patton stirred and sipped, waiting for the drink's warmth to spread from his belly to his chest.

This really was all pointless. Logan was right. Feeling this way, feeling this way for him was… pointless. It was only hurting everyone, most of all—

Patton felt the tug half a breath before rising up in Thomas' living room.

"What?" he asked dumbly, glancing quickly at the camera before sneaking a swipe at the wetness in his eyes.

Thomas seemed just as surprised as Patton that he'd been able to summon him. And after Thomas explained why he'd called him, Patton kinda hoped it hadn't actually worked.

Logan popped up just as quickly as he had… And, also just as he had, appeared wearing his onesie, soft blue tie looped over the top of it just like Patton had tied his cardigan over his onesie's shoulders.

Patton grinned, the tiny connection giving his heart a little boost. Between their identical glasses and the polo he'd picked to match with Logan's own style, their corrdinating outfits warmed Patton more than all the onesies in the world ever could.

The moment soon passed, though, and before Patton really understood, he found himself spiraling into an argument with Logan over… Whether or not they should talk to Thomas? What was he doing? There was no way Logan actually thought it was a waste of time to listen to Thomas' feelings, was there?

Caught between disbelief and a hollow ache in the center of his chest at Logan's harsh dismissal, Patton scolded when he should have listened, pushed when he should have followed, every minute, growing more and more insistent until finally Thomas had to show them the woven thread connecting them.

Smiling at Logan's newly calm face—and the bright glow he always got when he learned some new factoid or tidbit—Patton sank down and changed back into his onesie. Instead of retreating to his room, though, to bask in the cozy warmth of how their… discussion had ended, he loitered in the Mindscape common room. Was he hoping Logan might do the same?

Maaaaaybe.

"Oh… Patton."

He grinned when his tiny unvoiced wish came true. "Hiya, Logan!"

Logan looked around the room, hood pulled up on his alicorn onesie, wings dancing with every gesture. He hugged his new Trivial Pursuit book close to his chest and Patton had to shake away the question of whether or not you could be jealous of a book.

"I…" Logan began carefully. "I planned to do a little more reading. Would…" He offered Patton a tight smile.

Patton was already nodding. Whatever Logan wanted was his.

Logan's smile grew, just a little. "Would it be acceptable to you if I were to read in here… with you?"

"Definitely!" Patton replied, a little louder than he'd intended. "Oops," he laughed, briefly covering his mouth. "I'll let you read," he said in a quieter voice.

Logan watched him over the top of his book for a moment before lowering it with another tiny smile. "I do not require silence to read this book."

"Thanks!" Patton giggled and hugged himself, hands covered his the paw-sleeves. "I'm glad you changed back, too," he said, matching Logan's little smile with his own grin. "These things are just so soft and secure."

Was he just imagining Logan's cheeks pinked when he looked up from his book? He definitely didn't imagine the way Logan's smile grew just a little larger. "You're very correct."

Relishing the light behind that rare soft smile, Patton nodded. "Always the best for taking a little nap..."

Logan chuckled, "Don't you mean a little cat nap?"

Patton's mouth hung open. "Did you just make a dad joke?"

He tried to deny it but a tiny bit of him looked… pleased Patton had caught it so quickly. "Um... no. I did not mean to—"

His heart soared. "I am so proud!" he shouted, happy bubbled popping in his chest.

Panic washed over Logan's face and he shook his head. "Please don't be proud..." He shifted in place, like he couldn't decide whether to sink out or not. "Or tell anyone."

The fear in Logan's eyes cut Patton's happy squeal short. "Oh, Logan, no, I—"

Eyes wide and tugging at his tie, Logan sank out of the room. A thud from Logan's room shook the ceiling just a few seconds later.

"Logan!" Patton cried. He tried to sink down, to follow him, but Logan had locked him out. If Patton wanted to see him, he'd have to do it on foot. "Logan, I'm sorry," he called, running up the stairs. He stopped in front of Logan's door, hand hovering above the doorknob. "Logan?" he said again, mouth close to the door to better be heard through the solid wood. He heard movement inside, the sound of Logan's chair being shoved aside, the squeak of his bedframe. Finally, he knocked. "Logan? Logan, I'm so sorry. Can I come in?"

"No!" Logan roared from inside his room. The door shook on its hinges, hallway floor rumbling under Patton's feet. "We can discuss this later!" he said, only slightly quieter this time.

"Please, Logan," Patton said, leaning close to the door. "Don't leave things like this, I—"

"Leave me be, Morality!" he warned, another heavy thud coming from inside the room.

Eyes burning, Patton stepped back. He fiddled with his onesie paws and watched the shadow just under Logan's door. "O—okay, Logi—" He couldn't make his mouth form the title. Not here. It had been hard enough in front of Thomas, but here? In their hallway, his own room just steps away? No. Here, he was more than just formal logic and cold knowledge. Here he was Logan.

"I'll be in my room," he said, plush-covered hand brushing down the door. "Y'know… if… if you need me?" He listened, waiting, hoping Logan might change his mind and let him in so they could talk this out without letting it fester. When Logan's door remained shut, Patton nodded to himself and made his way into his own room.

~

Head bowed with his knees tucked up to his chin, Logan listened as Patton's quiet footsteps finally retreated, leaving him alone. With a sigh, he shivered and the back of his head scraped against his ceiling light, cracking the glass light shade. Damn. He'd need to repair that.

His alicorn onesie lay in salty wet tatters on the floor beneath him and he was fairly certain he'd broken at least two of the casters on his desk chair. At least the reinforcements he'd made to his bed seemed to have served their purpose. Perhaps he could convince Remus he required similar structural improvements be made to his desk and chair for… extracurricular activities.

Later. For now, he needed to focus on calming down. Until he could recenter himself and reduce his size by at least three fold, he must stay remain where he was.

[edupunkn00b]

Happy Birthday, Patton! The final chapter has come just in time for Patton's birthday!

I Love You Heart and Mind Masterpost

Patton and Logan, Morality and Logic, the Heart and the Mind, were just… well. Sometimes they were peanut butter and jelly, caramel and salt, dark chocolate and strawberries. Sometimes, they were a bit like oil and water. And then there were the times they were little more than gasoline and fire.

Still, there was no-one else in the Mindscape who held a bigger piece of Patton's, well, heart. And his mind.

Logan knew his limitations. He knew the boundaries of his role and he knew what happened when his… demeanor crossed those boundaries. He knew how to handle it. What he didn't know was how to handle his growing difficulty keeping it all under control.

Especially around Patton.

Written for @tsspromptmonth‘s Sleepy Bean Fanfic Café event, for @always-anais.

Chapters - [ AO3 ]

The Mind and the Heart

Moving Back

Moving In

In a Legal Setting

Putting Your Self First

Plushies Are Rather Pleasant

We Did It!

[edupunkn00b]

Just in time for Patton's birthday, the final chapter comes out today!

I Love You Heart and Mind, Ch. 2: Moving Back

Prev - I Love You Heart and Mind - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

Logan develops new ways to… divert his emotional reactions and avoid repeated instances of his physical transformations.

"E equals MC scared!" Logan shouted, pushing his growing—and his growing—fear at the entire situation into a virtual box in his chest. Like Sherlock's mind palace, he'd found it a useful mental mechanism in, well, situations such as these. Sealed tight with a heavy chain wrapped around it, the inner box heaved and sizzled, searing hot when he thought too much about it or tried to examine it, but…

He took a careful breath. Only an infinitesimal tightening around his collar and the room appeared to be essentially the same size it had been when they'd first arrived.

It worked!

Continuing his explanation of their presence and the job ahead, Logan avoided Patton's eyes. Amplified under the influence of Anxiety's room, tender Patton was caught in the figurative grip of his arachnophobia, the fear overpowering his own thinking until an artistic rendering of the dreaded arthropods threatened to push him closer to the actual spiders hiding in the cobwebs littering the rest of the space.

Logan eyed the unusually large Argiope aurantia working to repair the damage his own sudden appearance next to the banister had caused. He ignored Patton's request to switch positions and wordlessly willed Roman and Thomas to do the same. Patton was safer in his current position, even if his fear did not permit him to recognize it.

But even this intellectual understanding was insufficient to fight the draw of his plaintive requests, so Logan struggled to force his attention away from the Heart's shuddering fear. They had a task ahead and, once they'd convinced Anxiety of his enduring importance, they would all be able to leave.

~

Over the following months, Logan encountered additional opportunities to refine this new technique for emotional control. And, to varying degrees, his fellow Sides aided in this effort. Roman was rarely a genuine obstacle, his own emotional outbursts almost comically simple to reframe as annoyances. Expressions of irritation at the Princely Side, even when not all could honestly be characterized as provoked, provided Logan a useful outlet, a metaphorical steam valve of sorts.

Virgil’s typical dry sarcasm was similarly easy to allow to slip by unprocessed. He rarely triggered a true emotional reaction and the anxious Side’s need for calm, steady handling engendered itself to calm, steady responses.

The Others were such infrequent features in Logan’s days that their presence consumed him with curiosity, effortlessly pushing aside all other feelings.

And then there was Patton.

As Thomas’ Heart, Patton’s demeanor was a study in the vagaries of human emotional expression. Also, as Thomas’ Heart, Patton’s moods were remarkably transferrable to the other Sides, none more, it seemed than to him, Thomas’ Mind. Patton’s joy sparked a palpable warmth in the center of Logan’s chest, his laughter almost literally musical to his ears. It was challenging to resist an incomprehensible urge to join in, even when he did not know or understand the source of Patton’s mirth.

Equally, Patton’s sadness cut him deep in his core, sending a raw ache through his nerves that was difficult to ignore.

There appeared to be a visual element to the phenomenon. His empathetic reactions to Patton’s emotions were unlike other happenings in the Mindscape of which Logan was aware even when he was not witness to them. Roman’s—and Remus’—creative efforts registered in his mind regardless of where either twin was working. Virgil’s anxious spirals reached him from every spot in the Mindscape. It appeared, however, that Logan needed to visually—or auditorially—perceive Patton’s emotional expressions in order to feel them for himself.

Logan had also noted the other Sides did not appear to experience or otherwise be aware of the phenomenon, a finding he tucked away for eventual analysis. To be fully honest, Logan was in no rush to uncover the cause of the other Sides’ obliviousness. Their inattention had served him well in his attempts to conceal his more physical responses to his own overpowering emotions.

It seemed, in this instance at least, that the less the other Sides knew, the better.

“Good morning, Patton.”

For not the first time that week, Logan stepped into the kitchen in search of his morning coffee and discovered Patton staring out the window, lacidaisically stirring something sticky and sweet-smelling in a big metal bowl. On most previous mornings, Patton would greet him with a cheery smile and a boisterous salutation before he’d even gotten both feet on the linoleum tiled floor. Lately, though, Patton appeared so lost in thought it took spoken words or even a soft touch to break him of his reverie.

With any other Side, Logan would hesitate to initiate physical contact without express permission, however Patton’s frequent and spontaneous group hugs left Logan feeling slightly more comfortable reaching for him on his own accord. “Good morning, Patton,” he said again, lightly letting his hand rest on Patton’s shoulder.

He started, turning to Logan with a wide smile. Then Patton looked down at the bowl instead of meeting his eyes. “Oh, hiya, Logan! I didn’t hear you come in!” Still grinning, he lifted the bowl of a batter that appeared more chocolate chip than any other ingredient. “I was going to sneak a little batch of cookies into the oven before breakfast,” he said before giving the bowl one more stir. “Caught me bowl-handed!” he laughed, loudly.

If Patton was laughing, why did Logan’s eyes burn?

Logan dropped his hand before crossing his arms as though that might hold back the tightening he felt around his waist and throat. “I would recommend starting with a more balanced approach to the morning meal. Though… the batter does smell rather entic—”

“I’ve got it!” Roman cried, leaping into the kitchen and tearing the bowl from of Patton’s hands.

Patton blinked up at Roman, confusion pulling his expression down into a little frown.

Until the brainstorm hit them all.

A variety of stringed instruments played in the background, a rousing harmony crescendoing as a vision of Thomas and his last boyfriend appeared before them. Dressed in Roman’s tunic knelt down on one knee before him. Arm outstretched, he offered his ex a giant golden key tied with a red bow. “Mi amore! You’ve always held the key to my heart!” he cried, his other hand pressed to his chest. Suddenly, the music swelled and he broke into song. “Let’s go back to the way things used to be! Can’t you see we were always meant to be?”

“Whatcha doin’ there, Kiddo?” Patton asked, smile stretched so wide Logan could see his molars.

Logan had thought only Remus could do that.

The illusion fell away and Roman sat cross-legged on the floor, the key cradled in his lap. “I know if I can come up with a good enough idea, I can find a way for Thomas to win back his heart.”

“Really, Roman… Is this wise?” Logan frowned, fists tight at his sides. “That breakup was—”

“Do you really think it could work?” Barely louder than a whisper, Patton’s voice struck him, shattering Logan's remaining arguments. His face held such hope, smile wavering now, but soft and open. Still reeling from Roman’s brainstorm, Logan couldn’t shake the image of a blossom opening to the sun.

Yet mark'd I where the bolt of Cupid fell: It fell upon a little western flower, Before milk-white, now purple with love's wound, And maidens call it love-in-idleness.

Logan shook his head again as Roman smiled, taking Patton’s hand. “Come, Padre… Let’s go to the Imagination. I have so many more ideas.”

“Okay,” Patton nodded, still smiling. “If you’re sure.”

Logan closed his eyes and screamed, lips and throat closed. Silent. Neither noticed how tight his tie had gotten.

“I do miss him," Patton said, voice wistful. "Thomas misses him.”

“I know, Padre,” Roman said, stepping through a fresh portal to the Imagination. “We all do.”

The dull ache in Logan’s chest did not leave with them when the portal closed. He poured himself a cup of coffee and returned to his room, the muted echoes of Roman’s plans reverberating through the Mindscape.

[edupunkn00b]

@glassesgays you might like this one 🩵💙

I Love You Heart and Mind

The Mind and the Heart - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

This chapter takes place around the time of The Mind vs. the Heart. - Rated: G, WC: 2093 -

Zipped up and purrfectly cozy in his fuzzy cat onesie, Patton refilled his hot cocoa and settled back into his cookie corner sofa. Fresh from the oven, two chocolate chip cookies sat cooling on the side table. Hoodie drawn down over his head and a blanket pulled up over his lap, he bowed his head and breathed in the steamy, chocolately goodness in his hands. This was exactly what he needed.

The past few months had been… Well, alone in his room, Patton could safely admit the past few months had been rough. Not that anything really bad had been happening in Thomas' life. In fact, with friends and videos and plays filling his days, everything had been going super-dee-duper for him.

The problem had been, well, Logan.

Okay, Patton thought to himself, sipping his cocoa. Logan himself wasn't the problem. The problem was what happened any time he and Logan were in the same room.

"Hey there, Logan!" Patton had cheered, grinning over his shoulder when the Logical Side had stumbled, bleary eyed, into the kitchen last week. Patton held up a stack of still-steaming chocolate-banana pancakes with a smile. "Are you hungry?" He carefully wiggled the spatula to help make the sweet scent waft through the air. "Hot off the griddle just for your hot grill…" His voice fell away at Logan's confused frown.

"I do not own a grill, Patton," he'd said, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. "Of any temperature."

"Oh, yeah, I know that…" Patton slowly lowered the spatula. "I just meant—"

"Furthermore, if I were hungry for breakfast, I am confident a more nutrient-dense meal would be more appropriate, perhaps something with protein and a little more fiber."

Keeping his smile, Patton plated the pancakes and turned off the stove. Maybe Roman or Anxiety might like them later. "Right you are, Logan!" he cheered. "You know I can make you anything you like. Eggs or…"

Logan frowned, that little crease between his eyebrows growing deeper. "I… I require nothing more than a simple cup of black coffee, Patton." He opened the cupboard and pulled down the mug Patton had given him last Christmas. Fingertips tracing its now-invisible glow-in-the-dark stars, he turned to Patton. "But… thank you, Patton."

Patton had felt his smile waver so he busied himself at the sink. "Of course," he'd said, turning on the water to hide the quiver in his voice. "Open offer!"

It was even worse when Thomas was around.

Patton had popped up as soon as he heard Thomas talking to his good buddy Pedro on the phone. Pedro's been having such a bad time with his roommates, Thomas was sure to need a little hand managing all the feelings that came with his vent sessions.

"Moving, huh?" Thomas smiled, looking relieved.

Patton tucked himself into a seat next to him on the couch. Oh, thank goodness! Pedro was getting a new place! And all the better if he needed a little help from Thomas! "Do it! They're such a good friend, you gotta be a good friend too."

Logan didn't agree, popping up, lips pursed in his 'very serious' face. "Don't do it! You already have two things going on that day and three the next day. You need optimal sleep and rest."

Thomas looked between them, phone still pressed to his ear. This wouldn't do at all.

Shooting Logan a look, he'd slid closer to Thomas. "They'd do the same for you," he'd reminded him.

Arms crossed over his chest, Logan shook his head. "You don't have the time."

The argument only got more heated after that. And if that had been the only time, Patton might have been less worried.

Beckoned by a wave of fuzzy, bubbly good feelings from Thomas, Patton had popped up into the living room, already smiling. "Look at all these cute dogs!" Thomas had cooed, his face the personification of the little pleading eyes emoji.

Caught up in the feeling and his mind filling with images of tiny puppies and big fluffers bounding up and down the stairs, Patton burst out, "Adopt them!"

Thomas stared at him. "What?"

"You need to adopt them!" He pointed to the screen where it showed one of the puppies had been at the shelter for over a month. "Who knows what might happen if you don't adopt them?" Logan would know, that's who. Where was he? Maybe he should summon him. "And they need a good home!" Oh and Thomas would be such a good doggie daddy! He'd be just like him!

"You are not going to adopt an animal." Logan didn't even look at Patton when he appeared.

And Thomas was listening. "Oh?"

"Do you have the time for one, let alone multiple, dogs?" Words clipped and expression stern, Logan threw darts right into Patton's plans. "Are you here in this house enough to give it the attention and love that it needs?

Lava pushed up out of his mouth and he shouted at Logan, "What do you even know about love?!"

Those had been his calmest words that night. Passions flying, Patton couldn't even remember everything he'd said. All he could remember was Logan's stiff frown and the way he'd stood taller and taller, as though straightening his posture might protect him from the onslaught.

It had taken Logan three days to come out of his room again. A week before he'd meet Patton's eyes.

Patton looked down at the mug he still cradled in his hands. He'd let it get cold again. Popping up to refresh it with a little hot water from the kettle, Patton stirred and sipped, waiting for the drink's warmth to spread from his belly to his chest.

This really was all pointless. Logan was right. Feeling this way, feeling this way for him was… pointless. It was only hurting everyone, most of all—

Patton felt the tug half a breath before rising up in Thomas' living room.

"What?" he asked dumbly, glancing quickly at the camera before sneaking a swipe at the wetness in his eyes.

Thomas seemed just as surprised as Patton that he'd been able to summon him. And after Thomas explained why he'd called him, Patton kinda hoped it hadn't actually worked.

Logan popped up just as quickly as he had… And, also just as he had, appeared wearing his onesie, soft blue tie looped over the top of it just like Patton had tied his cardigan over his onesie's shoulders.

Patton grinned, the tiny connection giving his heart a little boost. Between their identical glasses and the polo he'd picked to match with Logan's own style, their corrdinating outfits warmed Patton more than all the onesies in the world ever could.

The moment soon passed, though, and before Patton really understood, he found himself spiraling into an argument with Logan over… Whether or not they should talk to Thomas? What was he doing? There was no way Logan actually thought it was a waste of time to listen to Thomas' feelings, was there?

Caught between disbelief and a hollow ache in the center of his chest at Logan's harsh dismissal, Patton scolded when he should have listened, pushed when he should have followed, every minute, growing more and more insistent until finally Thomas had to show them the woven thread connecting them.

Smiling at Logan's newly calm face—and the bright glow he always got when he learned some new factoid or tidbit—Patton sank down and changed back into his onesie. Instead of retreating to his room, though, to bask in the cozy warmth of how their… discussion had ended, he loitered in the Mindscape common room. Was he hoping Logan might do the same?

Maaaaaybe.

"Oh… Patton."

He grinned when his tiny unvoiced wish came true. "Hiya, Logan!"

Logan looked around the room, hood pulled up on his alicorn onesie, wings dancing with every gesture. He hugged his new Trivial Pursuit book close to his chest and Patton had to shake away the question of whether or not you could be jealous of a book.

"I…" Logan began carefully. "I planned to do a little more reading. Would…" He offered Patton a tight smile.

Patton was already nodding. Whatever Logan wanted was his.

Logan's smile grew, just a little. "Would it be acceptable to you if I were to read in here… with you?"

"Definitely!" Patton replied, a little louder than he'd intended. "Oops," he laughed, briefly covering his mouth. "I'll let you read," he said in a quieter voice.

Logan watched him over the top of his book for a moment before lowering it with another tiny smile. "I do not require silence to read this book."

"Thanks!" Patton giggled and hugged himself, hands covered his the paw-sleeves. "I'm glad you changed back, too," he said, matching Logan's little smile with his own grin. "These things are just so soft and secure."

Was he just imagining Logan's cheeks pinked when he looked up from his book? He definitely didn't imagine the way Logan's smile grew just a little larger. "You're very correct."

Relishing the light behind that rare soft smile, Patton nodded. "Always the best for taking a little nap..."

Logan chuckled, "Don't you mean a little cat nap?"

Patton's mouth hung open. "Did you just make a dad joke?"

He tried to deny it but a tiny bit of him looked… pleased Patton had caught it so quickly. "Um... no. I did not mean to—"

His heart soared. "I am so proud!" he shouted, happy bubbled popping in his chest.

Panic washed over Logan's face and he shook his head. "Please don't be proud..." He shifted in place, like he couldn't decide whether to sink out or not. "Or tell anyone."

The fear in Logan's eyes cut Patton's happy squeal short. "Oh, Logan, no, I—"

Eyes wide and tugging at his tie, Logan sank out of the room. A thud from Logan's room shook the ceiling just a few seconds later.

"Logan!" Patton cried. He tried to sink down, to follow him, but Logan had locked him out. If Patton wanted to see him, he'd have to do it on foot. "Logan, I'm sorry," he called, running up the stairs. He stopped in front of Logan's door, hand hovering above the doorknob. "Logan?" he said again, mouth close to the door to better be heard through the solid wood. He heard movement inside, the sound of Logan's chair being shoved aside, the squeak of his bedframe. Finally, he knocked. "Logan? Logan, I'm so sorry. Can I come in?"

"No!" Logan roared from inside his room. The door shook on its hinges, hallway floor rumbling under Patton's feet. "We can discuss this later!" he said, only slightly quieter this time.

"Please, Logan," Patton said, leaning close to the door. "Don't leave things like this, I—"

"Leave me be, Morality!" he warned, another heavy thud coming from inside the room.

Eyes burning, Patton stepped back. He fiddled with his onesie paws and watched the shadow just under Logan's door. "O—okay, Logi—" He couldn't make his mouth form the title. Not here. It had been hard enough in front of Thomas, but here? In their hallway, his own room just steps away? No. Here, he was more than just formal logic and cold knowledge. Here he was Logan.

"I'll be in my room," he said, plush-covered hand brushing down the door. "Y'know… if… if you need me?" He listened, waiting, hoping Logan might change his mind and let him in so they could talk this out without letting it fester. When Logan's door remained shut, Patton nodded to himself and made his way into his own room.

~

Head bowed with his knees tucked up to his chin, Logan listened as Patton's quiet footsteps finally retreated, leaving him alone. With a sigh, he shivered and the back of his head scraped against his ceiling light, cracking the glass light shade. Damn. He'd need to repair that.

His alicorn onesie lay in salty wet tatters on the floor beneath him and he was fairly certain he'd broken at least two of the casters on his desk chair. At least the reinforcements he'd made to his bed seemed to have served their purpose. Perhaps he could convince Remus he required similar structural improvements be made to his desk and chair for… extracurricular activities.

Later. For now, he needed to focus on calming down. Until he could recenter himself and reduce his size by at least three fold, he must stay remain where he was.