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gwen-ever · 3 years ago

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Until My Last Breath (Chapter 1)

Summary: When Smaug arrived, he not only killed the dwarves of Erebor, but he also destroyed the lives of the few who survived... whether he did it on purpose or not.After a hundred years, a part of Thorin's past will come back to haunt him in the form of a dwarf who last knocks on the door of Bilbo Baggins' house, resurrecting old grudges and the pain of a life no one wants to talk about. Geira, daughter of Geiri, is anything but an open book, an exiled who no one wants around, a warrior who has no one to fight for, but only an oath she must fulfil.

Relationships: Thorin x FemaleOC

Rating: M

Warnings: angst,sad,

AO3 LINK: HERE

Notes: I would like to thank all of you, who commented the prologue, rebblogged it and liked it. It was a very heartwelming and I hope i wont let you down with this first chapter. In particular i need to thank@lathalea for always checking my chapters and make surei dotn mess up and, trust me, this week she really put a lot of effort to do so hahahahahha.The style its quite different from the one I will use in the rest of the story, it is just a general introduction but i really hope you cvould guess some things <3 <3 <3

Mashkil: Dirt

'Angûna: Filth

"What is she doing here?!" roared Thorin Oakenshield, an accusing finger pointing at the newcomer, who in the meantime had placed her wooden bow in a corner and removed her heavy black travelling cloak, worn out by numerous weather conditions.

She felt the king's gaze burn like fire, but tried avoiding glancing at him, even when he took one step towards her like an animal ready to attack. She shifted her gaze upwards, focusing instead on the tall figure of the sorcerer who was smiling at her with the side of his mouth.

"My dear, let me introduce you to the master of the house, Bilbo Baggins," Gandalf announced in a quiet voice, ignoring, as she did, the dwarf lord's question.

With small steps Gandalf stepped to the side, indicating a small hobbit in the middle of the hallway with his hand.

The hobbit bowed his head slightly to the side to get a better look at her. He probably didn't like being surrounded by all those intruders, and now that another one had been added, he was in complete panic. She could understand him, as she could imagine him being unaware of everything that was going on around him.

For a moment she felt genuine compassion for him, yet it was not as if she had entered in the best of moods and maintaining that facade of indifference was beginning to be difficult for her.

Keeping her composure she smiled at him slightly, making a small bow with her head as brought a hand to her chest grasping the flap of her red tunic.

"Geira, daughter of Geiri, at your service," she introduced herself.

"Traitor to her folk!" Dwalin added contemptuously, shouting at the top of his lungs.

She tries to ignore the dwarf words smoking with the side of her mouth to the Hobbit infront of her. But then another voice spoke, a voice which she could never forget either in a thousand years.

"What are you doing here, you dirty mashkil?!" Thorin growled loud, his voice echoing between the whole of the whole house.

Her intention to remain calm was shattered like a crystal glass thrown to the ground. A shiver ran down her spine and a sigh escaped her mouth. She slowly lowered her hand from her chest and the armour of indifference she had built up wavered at the mere sound of the dwarf speaking to her.

Geira looked up, finally returning Thorin's gaze. His blue eyes stared at her as cold as a winter night in a blizzard, and what she felt was... nothing.

She felt nothing, or so she told herself.

"You have not been asked for introductions, King Under the Mountain," she spit, as angry as ever.

As soon as she finished those words several elderly dwarves around the table burst into exclamations and in the blink of an eye some of them stood up and she recognised them, every single one who stood up..

She knew who they were and they knew who she was.

One dwarf in particular kicked the stool he was sitting on and slammed his two iron fists into the wooden table, making it creak under his force.

"You filthy traitor, say that again!" roared Dwalin, looking her straight in the face. “Try to say it again!”

Geira didn't have time to dwell on how much she could recognise him even after all those years, for her gaze was caught by the muscles in his arms that seemed to flare with anger, and the scars on his forearms seemed to come alive with a life of their own. So many years had passed, yet she felt no nostalgia, only a great emptiness, that was all she had to feel. Yet she had to pull herself out of that situation, for the sake of what she had promised herself.

"Sit down, Dwalin..." she murmured, brushing her fingertips over the pommel of her sword strapped to her side.

"Don't you dare tell me what I must do, you 'angûna, just breathing your air disgusts me. You should die just for daring to show your face here!"

"This is not dwarven territory..." she explained, gritting her teeth.

"As long as I'm under this roof, everything around me is dwarven territory!"

At this point, however, she could not control a grimace. "Ironic how you're watching and paying attention to my presence instead of thinking about how to take back your territory." she spit glaring up at him.

The dwarf roared, moving away from the table in one swift motion. "One order from you Thorin, and I will make her bitterly regret it! Bloody traitor!" he yelled out of himself.

Geira shifted her gaze to the dwarf king still standing, looking him straight in the eye as she waited for a silent response to the demands of the warrior dwarf beside her: and she got it.

The frown in the middle of his forehead deepened, but his eyes remained as cold, as icy, and as terrible as the ones he had looked at her with one last time so long ago.

A dominance in his gaze, an anger, a hatred that had brought her to her knees back then. A look that had drained her of all light inside, like the words that had followed shortly afterwards, the last words he had ever spoken to her.

But this one she was not begging him at his feet. If he wanted to take her life away once again this time, Thorin would have to do it by looking her straight in the eyes and fighting as equals.

Thorin had opened his mouth to give an order as she sharted to count her breath and moving her hand closer to her hip, but they both were preceded by the most unlikely voice of all, which unexpectedly defended her.

"Excuse me, but I don't think that's any way to talk to a lady." All eyes shifted to the side of the hallway, to Bilbo, some admiring, some confused, some threatening, even her owns, which grew wide eyed at such words. The hobbit stammered under that attention and linked his feet, "though, I mean... that's what you say it is.... that it is," he concluded, glancing at Thorin, "at least, not in my house. No sir!" he adjusted the braces of his trousers, more out of the discomfort he felt than anything else.

Geira let go of the hilt of her sword at her side, surprised at how the little hobbit had spoken to Thorin, perhaps because she didn't know who he was, but that small gesture of courage intrigued her, as something hadn't intrigued her in a long time. She noticed an amused look from Gandalf at the hobbit as he continued to rock back on his heels, probably expecting for Dwalin and Thorin to sit back down in their seats, but they did not.

Instead a clatter of crockery and a couple of chuckles rose from the door next the living room, intruding on the vast silence that had spread across the room, breaking the layer of ice that was growing thicker between all of them.

"Uh. uh someone has angered Master Dwalin, hold this pint brother, be very careful."

"I am careful, you're the one standing on my foot Kili!"

"Then move it, no? We're missing all the fun because of you!"

The entire room quickly turned towards the source of the noise, all but one dwarf, Thorin, who didn't take his eyes off the dwarf maid figure for a moment, and like the others, kept his attention towards the side door of the dining room.

Before Geira had a chance to wonder what was going on next door to the small dining room where the dwarves were sitting, two young dwarves appeared, two pints each in hand. One with hair as golden as molten gold, the other with brown hair, frizzy and terribly familiar.

Geira held his breath for a few seconds.

"Oh shut up Fili, you're always in the way, if you'd move over maybe I'd see why they stopped shouting too," the younger dwarf mocked his brother, raising his pints in the air to go sit in his seat.

"Surely uncle has finished," replied the other making the same movements as the brunette, "or the other burg...lady... has arrived...".

The blond-haired boy could not complete the sentence as soon as his blue eyes rested on Geira.

His mouth opened wide, causing the two beads on his moustache to sway to the side of his mouth.

The hazel-haired dwarf tilted his head to the side as he looked at his confused brother, slowly sitting back in his seat. "What is a burg...lady?"

Finally, his gaze landed on her as well, but unlike that of the dwarf still standing beside her, his open mouth soon turned into a warm smile.

"SO YOU ARE THE OTHER NEW MEMBER! WELCOME!" he yelled, opening his arms in the air, raising the two pints he still held in his hand.

Geira said nothing, remaining impassive, feeling the other brother's eyes still on her.

"WELL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? TAKE A SIT! I ALSO HAVE ANOTHER PINT, IF YOU WANT IT !" The other dwarf invited her with a dramatic gesture of the goblet, but she did not move an inch.

“Kili…” Thorin murmured to the brown haired young dwarf, glancing at him.

“Why were you yelling like that then? And why are you still up, we were about to tell Mr Beggins how-”

“Kili,” the older of the two brothers, froze suddenly, casting a glance towards Geira's side calling his brother to attention.

Geira noticed him and casually covered the visible seal on the pommel of the sword with one hand and knew from the glittering brown eyes of the younger dwarf that he understood.

His big brown eyes widened, as did the blonde-haired dwarf's mouth. "You are a..." the dark-haired dwarf murmured as his mouth curled up in a small smile.

"Fili, Kili, be quiet!" Thorin stopped them, but the two young brothers continued undaunted, not realising that they were only making things worse.

"Oh, come on uncle, it's wonderful! It'll be all..."

Uncle.

"I said silence!" roared Thorin, slamming his fist on the table.

At the dwarf lord's growl the two brothers were astonished, opening their mouths wide but remaining as he had ordered in silence, however, casting pointed glances towards the opposite side of the room. They knew immediately that something was wrong.

Geira's hand slipped away from her pommel and she did not let them see what had caused her to hear those last words as the two young dwarves did as their uncle told them, sitting down in silence, but not stopping to look at her.

Geira looked up at Dwalin, who glanced at Thorin, who most likely replied with another glance, because he nodded in return. However, he did not fail to look at her one last time with a look full of fury.

The dwarven king narrowed his eyes slightly before he turned his attention to the sorcerer once more in complete silence.

"I want her to leave," he said emotionlessly.

"I am afraid it can't be possible," replied Gandalf calmly, as he returned to his seat.

"I won't let her stay here. I won't let her stand around my company, and put them in danger by only her presence," he growled low, talking as if she wasn't there listening. "I don't trust her! And I don't trust anything she says!" Thorin retorted seriously, not once looking at her face.

Geira clenched a fist, trying to keep her composure, but it was becoming increasingly difficult.

How dare he speak of trust? Him of all people, when it was he himself who had betrayed hers. How dared he!

She gritted her teeth as a blind fury clouded her vision.

Gandalf remained silent for a few moments, observing the king of all dwarves before replying.

"You will have to, I did what I thought was right and calling her back from exile is the right choice," he explained.

"The right choice?" resumed Thorin, his blue eyes twinkling menacingly "And how, shall we hear?"

Gandalf gestured with his hand towards Geira, inviting her to speak with a movement of his head; thirteen heads turned towards her, and even Thorin laid, finally, his eyes on her face.

For a moment his gaze alone made her flinch, making her eat back words she had not yet spoken. And yet, she had to say them. For herself, for her father, for her one hundred and seventy years of exile and for all the pain she had to go through because of that damn dwarf who was staring at her. She swallowed up her anger and her vision slowly became clear again.

"I am here, to fulfil my oath," she explained, looking the dwarf king straight in the eye.

A thin chill spread through the room, seeping into the bones of the newcomers; Bilbo, however, watched the scene in curiosity, struggling to understand. Perhaps now he would receive the answers he had been waiting for since the beginning of that exhausting evening.

A dull clatter echoed through the room, the sound of a cup slamming against the wooden table.

"This is too much!" roared Dwalin as he pulled himself up onto his seat again. "One word from you, Thorin, and I will rip her head off her shoulders, as I should have done years ago!"

Thorin didn't answer; he stood up, continuing to look her straight in the eyes as if what she had just said was none of his business at all.

"Your oath?" he asked her calmly, too calmly. With a couple of strides he approached her, his fists clenched and his jaw contracted. "Your oath is worthless now. It was broken long ago. Your words, your oath are nothing more than a pile of cold ash," he began growling low.

She almost dug her nails into the skin of her hand.

"It is a lifetime oath, you were there when I had sworn it," she addressed him as calmly as he had.

Thorin's jaw clenched a second time and his breathing became irregular.

"And I was there when you broke it," he uttered a low growl. "I saw you break it, you did it before my eyes..." he added contemptuously.

A pang of pain cut through her chest as everything that had happened that day appeared in her head. She seemed to see his gaze again, to feel the tears running down her face, to feel her heart being torn from her chest. She seemed to see her world burning before her eyes, her life burning before her eyes, and then... the exile.

The exile to which he had condemned her.

"I don't want to keep my oath for you if that's what you're worried about, King Under the Mountain," she spit staring directly into his eyes.

"I don't care why you want to keep it, I don't need you to keep it!" Thorin shouted at her, roaring out of his mind. "Your words mean nothing to me, a'lâju Mahal!”

A scraping of a chair followed the dwarf lord's words. "Thorin..." whispered Balin, but Thorin was as unstoppable as a blazing fire.

"You have no place among us, you have no honour, you have no name, you have no clan, you are nothing!

Your oaths were broken when you turned your back on us! Your blood is as tainted as your father's!"

For Geira that was the final straw. He shouldn't even dare to mention his father, shouldn't even try, king or not! Oath or no oath, he had no right.

Her hand tightened on the pommel of her sword. This time she approached him, with a couple of strides. She looked down at him as words began to pour out of her mouth like a flood.

"Then let Dwalin cut off my head now, this instant, for I assure you, Thorin son of Thrain, that I would rather be buried underground than fulfil the words I spoke to your kin years ago!" she retorted mercilessly. "If I could, I would retreat them one by one!"

"Be quiet, traitor!" he yelled at her, slamming his fist on the wall next to him.

"ENOUGH!" the darkness fell over those present before Geira could reply; they all fell silent at the power unleashed by Gandalf, who now stood menacingly over them, glowering. He glared down at them, a gesture that made them feel almost smaller than usual. Almost. For, as certain as the sun rising in the east, dwarves were not so easily frightened, not even if the subject in question was a wizard.

"You dwarves and your stubbornness! You will bring us to ruin before we even begin our journey! Geira will come with us. If I say her presence is essential, then it is essential! Her reasons do not matter to me as they should not matter to any of you!"

"It does matter," Thorin's deep voice rose from the silence that had enveloped his companions. "You cannot ask us to trust her, Gandalf. What she has done is..." the dwarves' attention shifted from her to Gandalf again.

"I know of it, but I ask you for the sake of this quest to leave old grudges aside; otherwise, we will not get very far if you continue to quarrel. When we reach the Lonely Mountain..."

Gandalf froze for a moment averting his gaze to her for a moment and then back to Thorin again. "Geira will accompany us there and then help us to reclaim it and th-"

"Then I will leave, if that is what you wish for Thorin Oakenshield," she concluded, giving a glance to his hand still on the wall next to her.

Thorin raised an eyebrow and slowly began to back away a few steps returning to his seat. "It is what I wish for as of now, for you to leave us, and that will not change," he stated, casting a glance at her hair, so short that it showed her neck, and her shoulders and part of her hear. The same length she had when he saw her for the last time.

"I don't want it to change..." she answered back as after a long time she felt ashamed again of those short locks.

The cut he gave to her.

And that was what they were for, to make her disgusted with herself, and in the absurdity it had been her choice to cut them so much that she had scratched her scalp the first time she had done it. She had cut every single lock and braid, counting them one by one as well as the short sideburns on the side of her face, shaving as short as she could the side of her head, leaving her right side a bit longer than nothing.

And with a last disgusted glance of Thorins on her head the discussion stopped.

Geira bit her tongue, lowering her gaze, and after that long wait, accepted a chair that the Hobbit gently offered her with a smile on his face all the while the chatter that had taken place before her arrival resumed.

But the grave atmosphere continued to permeate the walls of the room.

Nor did the tense mood change when everyone's attention turned to the Hobbit.

Geira wondered if his stammering was from the bewilderment of the various news stories, or his actual way of speaking: probably the first option. She saw him frown, countless wrinkles forming on his forehead as he tried to figure out what kind of trouble they were getting him into. She felt tremendously close to him at that moment: she would have gladly walked through the round door to get away from there, but she had promised Gandalf that she would stay. She had promised herself and her father; no more running, no more hiding. It was time to show everyone that she was not what they said she was, she had never been.

She paid no particular attention to the various explanations Gandalf and Thorin gave Bilbo, but it was when they handed him the long contract that her attention was caught again. She saw the hobbit intent on reading it, concern palpably making its way into his thoughts and gestures.

"Incineration?" he asked incredulously, unfolding the parchment better; perhaps he was convinced he had read it wrong. "...I'm going to faint.... " he said, his voice uncertain and trembling.

"Think of a furnace with wings: a flash of light, searing pain, and poof! You are nothing more than a pile of ash!" began Bofur, looking out of the doorway where she sat.

Bilbo lost all colour in his face, turning pale, too pale. It sounded like an alert to Geira; she held her breath until the other fainted, falling to the green carpet like a sack of potatoes.

Had his courage in speaking to Thorin been a flash of courage, then?

It was only then that they all sprang to their feet and tried to reach him, but in doing so they created an immense confusion, whereupon Gandalf ordered them all to go outside for some air. Dwalin and Nori helped him to lift Bilbo up and bring him to his senses, while Geira, again on Gandalf's advice, fumbled around in the kitchen to make him a cup of tea, trying to do as little damage as possible. She risked, for example, to spill the water from a nice blue and yellow cup, plus splash the boiling water from the teapot all over the place. Cooking in a real kitchen, that was something she hadn't done in a long time, as well as tinkering with this kind of fine crockery. She adjusted her black armguards and with a sharp movement of her hand and rolled up her sleeves a bit. She completed the laborious mission, delivering the drink to the owner of this house who, in the meantime, had woken up and was sitting in the living room in a comfortable armchair.

As soon as he heard her coming, he followed her every gesture with watchful eyes, until she broke the silence, handing him the cup full of aromatic tea.

"Your gaze has not ceased to follow me since I crossed your threshold, Bilbo Baggins; I have a feeling you have many questions for me," she told him, trying to force a smile and be as friendly as she could be.

It was all so difficult.

"Well, I... " he was stunned, not knowing how to continue, perhaps embarrassed at being caught in the act. He watched her in silence as she found a place by the lit fireplace, resting her back against the side of it. "Well, you... you're like them, aren't you?"

"A dwarf?" she asked him in turn, hinting at a smile at such innocence.

He nodded his head, passing the hot cup through his hands. "But, well, I had heard that dwarf women... they had..." The hobbit froze suddenly and fell silent, passing his gaze quickly to her face just above.

A sigh escaped her and she decided to tell him a half-truth.

"I cut them off a long time ago..." she explained hastily, but without ever trying to offend him in any way. She took a breath, trying to find an excuse in her head that would satisfy his curiosity. "A sign of... mourning..." she murmured.

It was not the whole truth.

Bilbo looked at her carefully, trying to see in those black eyes all the suffering they concealed; and suddenly his mind asked so many questions that it became involved: how long had it been since he had felt so interested in someone? He had kept to himself as much as possible, letting those four walls envelop him like a warm, soft blanket, in a slight torpor that had been shattered by the arrival of the dwarves. And Geira's.

His curiosity got the better of him, and he could not keep his mouth shut, not even putting the cup to his lips and sipping the hot tea.

"M-may I ask you another question?" he asked her, watching her eyes gradually lose themselves in the flames of the fireplace. "Is it true what they told you earlier? Those names they refer to you... are they true?"

"Are you afraid I will stab you in your sleep?" she answered him piquantly, raising an eyebrow.

Bilbo cursed himself, cursed him and his curiosity Tuc.

"N-no... no..." He was about to apologise when the girl shrugged, evasive.

"I'm exiled, it's true, but a traitor... that... no... no, never…” she looked again into the fire, which was crackling quietly before them. "I am here for one purpose only, and to keep a promise I made, long ago, far too long ago..." she murmured, turning back to him: curious but respectful grey eyes in deep, haunted black ones.

"You all have a purpose, a mission in this whole thing... I...I am just a hobbit, I am not what you all think I am..."

Geira watched as the hobbit's fingers held the cup and his gaze suddenly clouded over.

These were good questions he was asking himself, yet Gandalf believed in him, and the dwarves in the other room believed him more than they did with her, one of their own kind.

For a few moments he reminded her of a young dwarf lady in a large luxurious room in a distant mountain years and years ago wondering what she wanted to be in life.

Slowly she approached him, kneeling beside his green armchair and resting her hands on the armrest.

"I think you will only find out if you come with us; there is more to you than meets the eye, Bilbo. I saw it before, and... even if you don't see them, they're there, they're always there," she told him gently, marvelling at her own words.

Why was she talking to him like that, in that tone, as if she knew him? As if another person, as if he was interested in her opinion, perhaps because she hadn't spoken to someone like that in months. Still, it wasn't enough of a justification, but Geira found herself continuing.

"The journey will be fraught with danger, from outside and within the Company. That will take courage, but also a deep fear of the unknown to do what we must do. Because what we will find on the other side of the known world could be anything… or nothing. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to come with us.”

"Danger… within... the Company?"

Geira was about to answer, but their eye contact was interrupted by the arrival of the wizard, who had come to make sure of his friend's health.

"Excuse me," the dwarf-woman took her leave of the two, leaving them alone to talk; she fastened her cloak, but as soon as she placed her hand on the door knob, Bilbo's voice reached her.

"Thank you, miss Geira," he said.

“You can call me Geira” she answered, turning her head to the small hobbit sittin on the armchair.

H just nodded, looking at her with big eyes before shifting his attention to the cup in his hands

She turned, seeing a tense but grateful smile on his lips; she half-smiled as well, opening the door and stepping out into the light night breeze.

She had to calm her nerves, she had to calm down in order to regain her self-control and her coolness, which had been severely tested by the events of the evening: from an inside pocket of her cloak she took out her long white wooden pipe; from another, she took out her pipe-weed. Shortly afterwards she was blissfully smoking, sitting on the bench just outside the door; the long puffs produced small clouds that dispersed in the air: she followed them with her eyes until they disappeared, while her mind was lost in the meanders of her twisted thoughts. Did Bilbo feel out of place? And she, what was she to say? Of course, she had known from the beginning, from the moment Gandalf had introduced himself to her in that village of Men, that this would be anything but a walk in the wood: too many prejudices hovered among the dwarves, including herself, too many things left unsaid.

She felt like a flower in the frost, or perhaps she was the frost.

She shook her head, sucking in another breath that made her think better: she was there for a good reason, she had explained it to Bilbo; she just had to concentrate on that and that was it. It mattered little if they ignored her, if they did not speak to her along the leagues they had to travel, or if they were suspicious and indifferent. She would let them, their gazes should slide over her like water over her skin, she should just... just end those years.

What the wizard had told her had been gnawing at her for weeks. The likelihood of a hope, that if she fulfilled her oath perhaps, if she didn't die in the process, she would restore her name and she could... return home. But the real question was, did she want to go home and why was she still holding on to a broken oath?

"Are we interrupting?"

A young voice shook her from her outcast thoughts, finding one, or rather two young dwarves beside her... They were the two who had tried to convince Thorin to include her in the group - Fili and Kili, if she remembered correctly, the ones who had figured out what she was, who she was... Thorin's nephews. Two princes.

She took the pipe from her mouth and a mixture of emotions stirred in her chest, a desire to drive them out mixed with the urge to ask them to stay.

They were waiting for an answer to the question, she realised only after she found two pairs of puzzled eyes, waiting.

"Depends on what you want," she replied cautiously.

She didn't like the answer much, but the two stood there, undaunted. The black-haired dwarf with a youngster’s stubble sat down beside her, not waiting for an invitation; although he sensed Geira's suspicious glances, he did not pay heed to them. He took out his pipe and, after lighting it, squatted down more on the bench, puffing out small clouds of smoke.

"We just wanted to share some tobacco with you, nothing else," he insisted, sketching a brief smile.

"But maybe I don't want to share," Geira replied stubbornly.

The boy widened his eyes and looked at her almost displeased. Geira scolded herself, perhaps that wasn't the right way to go: they were her companions now, and she should at least try not to pick a fight with them. Yet it was proving so complicated, and the second boy's blue eyes didn't make it easy for him at all.

The nephews... the sons of…

"You should, if you don't want to isolate yourself before we leave..." the blond-haired, bearded dwarf attacked her: even in the moonlight she could see his blue eyes shining; so familiar it hurt.

Her fingers gently touched the inlaid hilt of her long sword, with which she never parted, seeking some form of strength, courage or, why not, peace of mind.

She forced himself not to let the acidity of his words show, "I thought I was already an outcast before I left, Master Dwarf. And forgive me, but I still don't know your names, which doesn't seem fair since you know mine."

The one sitting next to her laughed, throwing back his head, "You are right, forgive us, but the circumstances before did not allow us. I am Kili, this is my brother Fili, we are the sons of Vili and princess Dìs,"

Sons of Dìs.

A bite in her stomach made her pipe clench in her hand and suddenly her chest became incredibly heavy. The sons of Dís, Princess Dís.

How many years had passed? Had it really been that long? Had time around her really begun to move so slowly that she did not know how many years she had lived that life?

They were kids, but they were older than she had been when everything changed.

“Very well, then, Fili and Kili…” she murmured under her breath.

Geira remained silent and tried to calm her heartbeat after the latest information she had received. She sucked in another puff of smoke realising that there was, in fact, no more tobacco; she cursed silently and wiped it off, then put it back in her pocket. She wrapped herself a little more in her cloak as a gust of air penetrated her heavy clothes, fit for travel.

"Not very talkative, are you? Yet with the hobbit you spoke, I heard you!" asked Kili, sitting too close.

"You are talkative for both of us, young prince," she said, his eyes widening for a moment and then narrowing to slits, unexpectedly suspicious.

Geira caught herself explaining before the situation escalated. "You called Thorin ‘uncle’ earlier; I do not possess magical powers, if that is what you fear,"

"I didn't think so. But I am surprised that you called me young: yet, you do not seem as old as Balin, or Dori or Master Oìn..."

This time it was Geira's turn to smile. She barely lifted a corner of her lips, but it was enough for Kili: if only he had known.

"Looks can be deceiving: to me, you are certainly quite young, just boys."

"Then how many..."

His brother Fili interrupted him forcefully, "The sword, where did you t-"

"Lads, please return; the hobbit has made up his mind," Balin interrupted Fili's question, and allowed Geira to avoid answering uncomfortable questions to say the least.

The old dwarf gave her a brief but penetrating glance, but he did not bother to ascertain whether she was following him or not, so Geira opted to stay out there a little longer, alone; she left the door to Bag End half open and, from the confusion that followed, deduced that Bilbo had denied her help. Part of her felt terribly sorry and sad: she had accepted the fact that she would be leaving in the company of dwarves who hated her, but the torture seemed less heavy, knowing that a face less hostile than others would be at her side. She sighed loudly, trying to catch screams, reproaches or furious, stubborn phrases, but her ears met with the silence that reigned in the house; curious, she got up and, without making the slightest noise, looked out of the door to peek inside. She recognised Thorin's broad back covered by a fur cloak, his long, neatly wavy hair falling past his shoulders; he was leaning against the fireplace in the hall, where she had been standing before while everyone else was standing around him.

A melody sung with his mouth closed emerged from the silence; then his voice, deep and warm, filled the room, spreading through the air like perfume.

Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We must away, ere break of day

To find our long-forgotten gold.

Geira held her breath, melody from the very first notes, but.. the words, they were different from what she remembered. She frowned but then stop to worry and started to listen as Thorin's voice passed through her ears and went straight into her heart. She felt a strong grip on her chest, as if some invisible hand had tightened around her heart; those words tasted of something long forgotten, of longing for something lost. They tasted of home, of family. Her mind played the terrible trick of making her see again the places she had walked in Erebor as a child: squares, streets and alleys, palaces full of gold, stables, armouries... and then dwarves walking, working, children running and screaming. All this had died with the city, swallowed up by the terror of the dragon, and she had not had the chance to see it one last time. Soon, Thorin was not the only one singing; the others joined him, singing the last verse that reminded them of the same feelings.

The pines were roaring on the height,

The winds were moaning in the night,

The fire was red, it flaming spread,

The trees like torches blazed with light.

The song ended, but the sadness lingered on. Geira drew back quickly, returning to the embrace of darkness, her long-time friend; far from prying eyes, she wiped away the tears that had mockingly escaped her lashes, forming a small furrow on her rosy cheeks. She blinked several times to squeeze out more tears and breathed deeply, trying at the same time to calm down and listen to the king's instructions for the next morning's departure.

"Try to get as much rest as possible; Gandalf will show us to our quarters..."

There followed a great commotion, a sign that everyone was gathering their knick-knacks: as she did not want to show himself in such a pitiful state, she decided to wait outside; perhaps, with the favour of darkness, no one would notice the signs of crying.

As expected, the others came out, dark in face; they glanced at her in passing, then disappeared down a path towards a small inn. As soon as the last of them, Ori, was out of sight, she went into the house, looking for her bow, which she found where she had left it, leaning against the wall of the small kitchen. She took a quick glance around, noticing the cleanliness and order that once again reigned supreme, as if nothing had happened. It was indeed a fine home, fit for someone who loved his life and would not change it for all the gold in the world.

She secured her bow to her back, picked up her quiver, and hoisted it over her shoulder. She reached the hall with great, heavy strides, but froze when her eyes fell upon the long contract written by Thorin and countersigned by Balin on the footstool in front of the chair. With a knot in her throat, she saw that the place for Bilbo's signature was spotless, empty. She sighed again, brushing it with her fingers.

She felt guilty: it was she who had warned him of what lay ahead, who had told him that she would not blame him if he refused, and that she, too, might leave the Company to its fate; so when he had thanked her, had she already decided in her heart not to take part? She ran a hand through her short hair, touching every lock from her forehead to the back of her neck.

"He will come, do not fear," her left hand ran quickly to the scabbard, drawing the sword she carried at her side; it was only when she was in a defensive position that she recognised Gandalf, who had entered without her hearing him. He walked towards her, his hands clasped behind his back and the usual sardonic smile always on his lips; he watched her for long moments, with those blue eyes that could dig into you, until they read your soul. And Geira, in her heart, was afraid of it.

"That contract will be signed very soon," he insisted, now closer to her.

"'Are you so convinced? The young hobbit wasn't convinced, I've seen that kind of look too many times, from young soldiers, recruits, and even head guards," almost without realizing it, she found himself again brushing against that yellowed paper, and those handwritten characters of those who had once been part of her world.

"Oh, I hope so! But, usually, my convictions always turn out to be correct!"

"Like me coming here?" she said directly as she looked up at him.

Gandalf took a deep breath, tilting his head down slightly to keep it from slamming into the ceiling. "That is the uncertainty that, though you will not believe me, has plagued me these many weeks," he explained quietly. "I will not hide from you that I thought you were not coming.”

"I didn't want to," Geira admitted. "I waited in Aldburg for as long as I could," she concluded, smoothing out the traveling bag on her shoulder with a movement of her shoulder.

The wizard nodded his head before speaking. "I see. What made you change your mind?"

At that unexpected question Geira stiffened all of a sudden. She had spent weeks in the room of the inn in the small village in the kingdom of Rohan, mulling over the offer the wizard had made to her, and up until a fortnight ago she had been more than sure that she would not participate in the expedition. Why should she, why should she accept what Gandalf had told her outside that inn as true. He knew nothing of what was to come, and yet the prospect he held out to her was too much even for a hardened soul like hers.

He could revoke the exile, you could go back home, fulfil your oath and be free, Geira. Isn't it what you want? Being free again?

"Because I don't want to die like this, in the dirt of a Men’s village with an invisible chain wrapped around my chest ... I don’t want to be bound to him anymore, I want his nephews to see their home,they are the new hope for Durin’s folk" she explained hastily, speaking like a dirge she had learned by heart.

"And not him?”

She looked up to Gandalf . “Would you ask this to a victim of an executioner? Or to a leftover wife of a soldier?”

“It depends on how much the victim cared for the executioner, and vice versa,” he explained with a soft voice.

For Geira it was like receiving a punch in the middle of her sternum; she felt a sudden urge to shout out her frustration, her anger, to give vent to the rage she had kept jealousy inside her all evening. He knew, Gandalf knew, yet he dared to say that to her, if it was to achieve a goal of his as he had already seen him do, it would not work this time, not with her.That was the point of no return for her; controlling her tears was almost impossible, as was not taking the sword from the hilt and pointing it at the wizard, even though she knew what would happen.

Furious, she began to tremble, looking the wizard straight in the face and finally and, after months, asked him the question that was eating her alive.

“Why did you want me to come?!” she growled “You have warriors, you have clever dwarves and useful ones. Why did you come to me, and do not tell me you did it for me!” she nearly roared.

As he had done for the rest of the evening, Gandalf remained silent for a few seconds, watching her. He did not get angry or upset, but he looked at her in such a way that everything around her seemed to grow cold and sad and for a moment she felt the same way.

“Because you have to fulfill your oath,” he told her again.

“I did not intend to fulfill it! That oath was broken long ago as was the one that he swore to me! Stop lying to me! ” she insisted, pleading with him with her eyes.

He owed that to her, an answer a simple answer, she was not asking more. She just wanted to know why Gandalf wanted her to torture heself, why he wanted her so bad in that Company why he cared that much that forced Thorin to accept her as a member of his Company.

He sighed softly, smiling sadly with the side of his mouth “I didn't, I did it for the executioner, for the warrior, for the king...”

Geira parted her lips, astonished but quivering with anger; unexpectedly she smiled, a sad smile, without a hint of joy painted on her face. “You know Gandalf, now I understand why you lied to me, because if these are the real reasons, you know I'm sure I would have turned down your invitation back then.

And without saying anything more she turned and walked out of the rounded green door.

She left the hobbit’s house behind her, following the same path the others had taken, passing other green mounds - hobbit dwellings - and finally resting at the inn where the whole company was already staying, but still awake. And she would know that that night, like many others, she would not find rest, because a question had begun to arise, a question about a story she had been telling herself for too many years: was she really only doing this for herself? Yes was the answer, because if it were otherwise she would rather die by his hand than go through it all again. To feel again. To be betrayed again.

The flames burned up to the sky. The fumes came out of every window from every balcony from every hole in which they found a passage. The screams rose high in the air and thundered in the valley below her. The yellow and blue fabrics danced a dance of death and destruction as they walked out the shattered marble door. Children clung to their parents' necks in fear. The women and men wept as they watched the bodies scattered on the door under the rubble as they were pulled away by those few who had not yet been gripped by grief.

The once green pines and grass on either side of the mountain had become a heap of ash and coal.

Her tears would not stop flowing, her armor had become heavy as a boulder that prevented her from moving.

Then a desperate scream under the hill where she was about her came to her ears making her almost fall to her knees under the weight of her helplessness and guilt.

His formerly desperate blue eyes turned to pure amazement as they landed on her.

One scream, one last scream before the realization of what would happen as she watched her heart burn in the rubble with her oaths and with the one dwarf who possessed it.

"I told you coming here would be a waste of time!"

"To hire a hobbit, where did you get such an idea?!"

"I did not think such a small body could possess so much..."

"Stubbornness, Oìn?"

"Well, why would he help us if he doesn't even know us?" noted Bofur, returning to light his pipe with a tinderbox and sitting down better on the window sill.

"Gandalf promised us the hobbit would accompany us; and if he said so, we must trust him."

"How about a bet, then? Come on, Nori! What do you say?"

There began a long chatting that involved them all, those who bet for or against Bilbo's arrival by the next morning. The commotion that permeated the small room of the inn, where they were to sleep, allowed two dwarves to move into the corridor, away from prying eyes and ears.

"What do you think, laddie?" asked the older dwarf, smoothing his long white beard.

The other sighed wearily, the ever-present wrinkle in the middle of his forehead more than worth a thousand words; even after he had removed his heavy cloak and remained in his long blue tunic covering his breeches, his figure was imposing and commanded awe and respect.

No matter how hard Balin tried, he still found it hard to believe that this dwarf, a child, who later became a young boy, would become king so soon, faced two major battles that had taken everything from him and with which he had to deal every day, every night; the old dwarf knew this for sure: not even in his dreams was Thorin Oakenshield free, safe from rancour and remorse.

"I think this mission has started under the worst of auspices: I wonder..." he paused, not quite sure what to say next.

"Whether we should proceed?"

The king nodded, but his gaze was far from convinced, lost in thoughts unknown to most, but intuitable to Balin; or, at least, most of the time. But, to be on the safe side, he decided to broach the subject calmly, one step at a time.

"Don't distress yourself about the hobbit: if you hadn't beckoned to me and brought me here, I would have placed a bet in his favour, you know?" he gave a half-smile, but that did not relax his companion’s tense features, quite the contrary. He made a contemptuous sound, halfway between sceptical and desperate.

"Dwalin was right: it was a waste of time coming here. It was folly to believe in his help; but even without him, we must proceed. No, it's not his presence I'm worried about... no... not him."

Here was the raw nerve, the sore point: just as Balin had imagined; it was not the thought of the failed burglar that plagued him.

"Thorin..." he began, laying a hand on his forearm. But as soon as he did, the muscles under his shirt twitched and the old dwarf was stopped with a raised hand and a grim look.

Seeing him in that state did not help Balin either, after all: after all, he was like a son to him. And fathers were always distressed when their children were not calm and happy.

"No, Balin. I don't want to talk about it," was his curt reply; and no matter how much the elder dwarf insisted, he would not be heard. His king's pride was mightier than reason, which struggled to prevail: for if he had even tried to think, Thorin would have understood; but stubbornness and anger blinded him.

Balin sighed loudly and shook his head, but he hoped in his heart that this journey would bring other victories than the lost pride of the dwarves.

Dawn came too soon, and continuous yawns surprised Geira as she rinsed her face with cold water and then strapped the sword to her side, but first she pulled it from its sheath, examining the blade for new scratches. Daylight broke over it, sending blinding glints down the walls: her hand stroked the inlaid and worked hilt, which gave the sword its name, more closely. Forged by her, for her alone, and branded on the hilt by... him.

That sword was her past, her present, her future perhaps. All she still possessed was that sword, all that bound her to what she had been was that sword that had allowed the two princes to know who she was and what she had been. She had managed to avoid their questions but she was sure, having seen the two princes, that they would ask Balin, Dwalin... Thorin for confirmation. And what would they answer? Was her oath really broken and she was just fighting the wind? No. She was to the death and would fulfil it, or die rather than live like this any longer. Without being able to speak a word to any dwarf.

She put the sword back where it belonged, and stopped losing herself in useless thoughts; she took a quick, final look around the room, tracing the outline of the simple wooden bed, the chest against the wall, and the windowsill, on which was a vase of fragrant lilac and yellow flowers: perfect, she had forgotten nothing. She arranged her traveling back better on her shoulder and closed the door, going downstairs; he thanked the innkeeper with a nod and a coin, then went out into the warm morning air. Outside, a riot of colours and scents invaded her, leaving her stunned: everything was so wonderfully green, and as the evening before she wondered what life could be like there.

"Good morning!" Kili's smiling face took her mind off her pesnier again, just like the night before in every way.

He stood in front of her, crunching a stick of beef jerky between his teeth, soon joined by his brother Fili, who had two in his mouth. "Come, we'll show you your pony," he said.

"My Pony?" she asked, incredulous.

With a gesture of his head, Fili invited her to follow them, or rather to follow her younger brother, who had already started walking with his arms behind his head. They took her to the back of the inn, where three animals stood in a large enclosure. Kili opened the wooden gate and pointed out the pony, a female with an entirely white coat, tame and quiet: Geira approached her, stroking her gently; she neighed, appreciating the gesture and making her new mistress smile. From the bag she took out a red apple and handed it to her, watching her devour it voraciously: yes, she liked it, she admitted; and it would be a good companion for the journey.

"Thanks, lads" she said with a smile turning towards the two brothers.

The dwarves bowed their heads in response, finishing lacing up the last of their bags of supplies, then dragged their steeds out of there, where the others were waiting for them; Geira followed, not receiving any greetings from the other members, just a deep silence, making her clearly remember what the others thought of her. Even the smile on her lips vanished in the blink of an eye.

Without a word, she hoisted herself up onto the saddle, settling in better. When they were all still and ready, Thorin cast his gaze over them all, including Gandalf, as if seeking some support, some security... or fear.

He made no speech, there was no need: they all knew what they were getting into, what the risks and dangers were, but they were ready; they were going to regain their homeland, there was nothing nobler than that,

their hearts were for their home. They were for Erebor: and they would hardly be discouraged or lose the purpose of their journey

The king turned his pony, leading it along the streets of Hobbiton, followed by the others.

Geira did not look back, but kept her gaze fixed ahead, her heart a little heavy and a little relieved, she could not quite explain why. She remained silent as they left the city and entered the large clearing lined with huge old trees, thinking with regret of the sort of friendly figure who might have cheered her journey and comforted her when all seemed lost. Who knows, perhaps Gandalf tended to overestimate himself a little too much, if he believed that his convictions always turned out to be right and positive …

"Wait!"

A familiar voice brought her to a halt, and so did the others; she turned swiftly in the saddle, hardly able to believe her eyes: Bilbo Baggins had just stopped beside Balin's pony, exhausted from his long ride; he caught his breath and wiped the sweat from his brow as he held out the contract to the elderly dwarf with one hand, claiming to have signed it. As soon as Balin verified the authenticity of the signature - a gesture that Geira found amusing anyway - he announced that he was welcome to Thorin Oakenshield's company; applause and whistles of welcome followed, interrupted by the king.

"Give him a pony!"

Bilbo tried to object, as he had never ridden a pony before, but Kili and Fili cleverly hoisted him up; Geira managed to catch the hobbit's eyes and, to his great surprise, he was stunned: she smiled at him, a warm and sincere smile.

And then the hobbit knew he had made the right choice.

#thorin #thorin oakenshield #thorin x oc #thorin fic #thorin fanfiction #the hobbit fan fiction #king under the mountain #quest of erebor #middle earth #until my last breaht #thorinxreader #the hobbit fanfiction

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magesmiths · 4 years ago

Text

let your heart be your guide

Regency AU // Nat Sewell x Lottie Fitzwilliam // part one

Rating: General (will go up)

Word count: 3,495

Read on AO3

The first time she sees her, it’s from across a busy dance hall, mid turn, whilst in the arms of someone else. All evening, the music has been too loud, overwhelming as she tries to enjoy the dancing, a feat now rendered impossible by the presence of one unknown woman. Her smile is what she notices first; open, genuine as she converses with the gentleman standing next to her.

And then she’s looking right back at her, Lottie is sure of it, the wide smile falling slightly as big brown eyes watch her. It’s as if the world narrows, focusing on only her in a moment of pure, blinding clarity.

(She will, months later, whisper between breathless kisses how difficult it was to remember the steps, to keep turning her head away from the beauty that had ensnared her.)

The dance finally comes to an end and she barely remembers to thank her partner for the dance, his request for another fails to reach her as she scours the crowd for her again. It doesn’t take long, for the tall woman is easy to find even amongst all these people; standing near the edge of the room amongst instruments more valuable than Lottie has ever seen. A small smile pulls at her lips as the relief washes over her. Her pulse quickens as she takes the figure in, both anchored by her presence and set adrift by the fluttering need to know her bursting from within.

If this is what the poets speak of, their words are not enough to capture the truth of it.

She edges slightly closer, breath catching in her throat as she notes a loose curl of hair falling into her soft, serene face - tries to banish the accompanying need to tuck it back behind her ear - and elegant fingers skirting over the pianoforte. Silver rings glint in the light, holding her focus as she watches the gentle caress of the keys. She doesn’t press down, the instrument makes no sound, but her fingers ghost over the ivory as if playing a song from memory. Lottie wishes she could hear her music.

Tearing herself away, she searches the room for someone - anyone - who might be a mutual acquaintance, attempting to maintain an air of calm through the urgent hammering of her heart.

She needn’t have worried. Salvation finds her.

“Miss Fitzwilliam?”

Lottie spins on the spot at the sound of her name, skirts swirling around her, and finds herself facing her. Tina Poname, an old friend, who had spoken Lottie’s name is stood beside her and Lottie tries to control the smile from taking over her entire face.

Lottie tears her eyes from the woman’s face, from the quirk of a smile on her lips - beautiful is not a good enough word, she thinks - and desperately tries to remember her manners. “Miss Poname!” She gives a curtsey. “I did not know you were in Bath, I am delighted to see you.” Her eyes, unbidden, flick back to the deep brown ones behind him to find they are watching her.

“And I you.” Lottie doesn’t miss the smile on Miss Poname’s face as she begins her next sentence, “May I introduce you to Miss Natalie Sewell? Miss Charlotte Fitzwilliam.”

She curtseys again as she looks back to Miss Sewell, her name - Natalie - running through her mind, wondering how it would feel to say, how it would sound. “I’m honoured to make your acquaintance, Miss Sewell.”

“The honour is all mine, Miss Fitzwilliam.” The deep voice, saying her name so softly, sends a flutter through her. “I have not seen you in Bath before, are you often here for the season?”

“Never. It is my first time.”

The smile on Miss Sewell’s lips - oh those lips, she could stare all day - grows at her words. “Well, I hope we’ve made a good impression so far?”

“It’s a beautiful city, I have yet to see much of it though.”

“Indeed, it is.” Tina’s voice forces Lottie’s gaze away from Miss Sewell. She had almost forgotten she was there. “My apologies, you will have to excuse me,” She leans in close to Lottie as she passes, “I have just seen Mr Verda dancing of all things and you know I can’t bear missing a chance to tease him.”

She gives a brief bow to them both and walks off, skirts rustling. Lottie turns back to Miss Sewell, has a moment to take her in as she watches Tina reunite with their friend. Lottie has to crane her neck a little to look at her face. Her skin looks impossibly soft, warm brown almost glowing in the candle light.

Miss Sewell turns back to her and she feels herself grow warm at being caught staring, but can’t bring herself to look away. “Is there anywhere in Bath you would recommend going whilst I’m here?”

It’s been mere minutes, but Lottie is already accustomed to seeing the smile on Miss Sewell’s lips; hopes it’s a result of her company, though she suspects it’s more of a permanent fixture. “I would always recommend the library, I spend much of my time there. I suppose there’s the obvious: the Roman Baths. They are quite beautiful, though the city has become more of a resort in recent years, they are certainly worth seeing. The history of the hot springs is fascinating, formed from water fallen thousands of years ago.”

Her brown eyes, wide and bright, are enchanting. Lottie feels as though she could fall into their depths as she listens to her explain the intricacies of rainwater reacting with limestone, her soothing tones like a sweet wine.

“I apologise,” She looks bashful for a moment and looks away. “You don’t want to hear the history of how rainwater turned into hot springs -”

“On the contrary.” Miss Sewell raises an eyebrow as her eyes flicker back and forth between Lottie’s. “I would happily listen.”

One side of Miss Sewell’s mouth quirks up, and she nods at Lottie. “I’m grateful for your kind words, however a tour guide may be better equipped to explain the science behind it if you are interested.”

“Perhaps you could be my tour guide.” Lottie watches as Miss Sewell rolls her lips together and avoids her gaze.

There’s a moment where she wonders if she’s been too bold, too forthcoming with what burns inside her. The suggestion was light, hopeful even, but it’s a dangerous thing. A risk worth taking, she thinks. Lottie has rarely been one to hold back from temptation, no amount of admonishment could quit her from chasing her desires. And this, this is no fleeting want.

She feels a twinge of regret bubble up inside her, hopes to rectify what she has done, almost prays that she has not ruined the chance of even friendship between the pair, when Miss Sewell looks up.

When they make eye contact again, those brown eyes seem darker. “Perhaps I could be.”

That night, when Lottie is home and under her covers, replaying the evening in her mind, watching it play out on the ornate ceiling above her bed, she lets her mouth form her name. Just once in a whisper barely audible even to her.

“Natalie.”

---

The Assembly rooms are busy again. It is by far the most popular place for a social occasion in Bath, or so Lottie’s aunt is wont to tell her. She would roll her eyes if it wouldn’t earn her a reprimand.

Though, in this instance, she probably wouldn’t complain at being brought here again. The possibility of seeing one Miss Sewell set her heart aflutter.

She had never been a fan of romance novels, though she was always expected to have read the latest by those around her. She preferred an adventure, something thrilling. The feeling of anticipation, the possibility of something exciting with every turn of a page, it was like no other.

But even that feeling was nothing to this.

They are barely in the door when Lottie is craning her neck to see over crowds. She should be thankful her brother and aunt are too consumed by each other’s conversation to notice her distraction.

“Are you looking for someone?” A soft voice comes from behind her and she closes her eyes briefly to savour it.

“Miss Sewell,” Lottie turns and inclines her head at the taller woman, more beautiful than her memory could do credit.

“Miss Fitzwilliam.” She bows her head in return, her smile widening. “So, were you looking for someone?’

“No, I was merely looking around.” Matching grins tell another story.

“Have you met my brother and aunt?” The two step forward beside her to be introduced. “Mr John Fitzwilliam, Mrs Anne Fitzwilliam. May I present Miss Natalie Sewell.”

Lottie watches as Miss Sewell curtsies and begins easy conversation with them. She struggles to look away as her new friend charms her infamously hard to please aunt, her endearing countenance putting all at ease. Her soft laughter pulls at Lottie’s lips, and she should try and compose herself lest someone catch her looking like a lovesick teenager, but it’s too hard to care at this moment.

When the Fitzwilliams eventually excuse themselves, Lottie lingers for a moment, looking up at the taller woman, heart beating so loudly it drowns out the music in the next room.

“I hope to see more of you this evening, Miss Sewell.”

“And I you, Miss Fitzwilliam.”

There’s a moment of silence between them. They both refuse to be the first to break eye contact and it is not just the corset that’s making it hard for Lottie to breathe.

“Your aunt is waiting for you.” Miss Sewell eventually breaks it and nods towards the doorway.

“Yes. Of course.” Feeling herself flush, she finally steps away. Sparing one last look, she smiles to see she is still being watched.

---

Lottie finds her near the pianoforte again on their third meeting, can’t stop the words that slip from her lips in her eagerness, foregoing any formal greeting. “It’s a beautiful instrument.”

An easy smile graces Miss Sewell’s lips. “Indeed. Do you play?” Her eyes are still on the instrument. It’s a grand thing, though it seems untouched in this corner of the hall.

“Not as well as I should like.”

“I’m sure you’re far better than you care to admit.” Miss Sewell turns to look at her then and the crinkle of her eyes tells Lottie that she relishes the blush blossoming on her pale cheeks.

The younger woman lowers her eyes, a small smile appearing on her face “I would hate for you to be disappointed, Miss Sewell. So I shall venture never to play in front of you and prove you wrong.”

“Oh, but that should surely break my heart.”

“You leave me in an unfortunate position, Miss Sewell. I must either disappoint you, or break your heart, neither of which is remotely desirable to me.” They’re both smiling now, and Miss Sewell’s eyes flash with something , darkening as Lottie continues. “Perhaps you could help me improve.”

“It would be my pleasure.” Lottie barely contains the shiver that courses through her at the words.

---

The pair have formed a ritual of sorts by their fourth meeting, unspoken - though the words need not leave their lips for them both to agree, each seeking only the other on nights like these.

They spend the first few hours fulfilling their duties, dancing and mingling. Lottie can barely stop herself from looking Miss Sewell’s way, though she feels her gaze oft pulled. Round and round she goes, dancing with men who may as well be faceless for all the draw they have.

Balls and dances tend to last upwards of six hours, and it’s remarkable to find someone able to dance the whole night. It is even more unlikely to find someone willing to do so. Miss Sewell, a lover of dancing, would happily spend the entire time on the dance floor were it for the right partner. As it was, the right partner was occupied and, regretfully, off limits.

Although it isn’t unheard of for two women to dance together, she dared not ask the Master of Ceremonies for permission. Want as she might, Miss Sewell was of the belief that even the opportunity to touch Miss Fitzwilliam, in the tender way that dancing requires and not merely in an accidental brush of fingers in a busy room, would render her incapable of letting go.

The company they find when obligation is finally fulfilled is easier than any Lottie has ever known. She can’t help but feel a lightness in Miss Sewell’s company, a happiness founded on merely the others’ presence.

Lottie closes her eyes, a smile growing on her face as she hears the opening notes of her favourite piece. Dancers gather on the floor and she watches as the pairs bow to each other before taking up the first position.

“Are you to abandon me for another dance?”

“Well, I know few others here, save for my brother and aunt, and otherwise preoccupied friends.” Her gaze flickers towards Miss Sewell who is still watching the dance floor, a small quirk to her lips. “I think you can be safe in the knowledge that I will remain in your company.”

“Now that is a wonderful reassurance.”

They watch a little longer and Lottie can’t help but wish she was watching her companion on the floor instead.

“Will you not dance, Miss Sewell?”

Dark eyes meet hers, smile fully blossoming on curved lips. She can’t help but watch them as her friend speaks. “Are you asking, Miss Fitzwilliam?”

She feels herself redden, and the smile on Miss Sewell’s face grows wider. She leans close, and Lottie can feel the heat of the whisper on her skin. “Don’t tell me either way, I couldn’t bear to know if not.”

She turns away again, leaving Lottie to stare.

Two women who find comfort and fulfilment, not in the attentions of those around them, but in each other, have more power than any man in their presence could hope to wield. For what is man if his attentions are unneeded? Undesired? Unwelcomed? He is nothing.

It is, however, another matter entirely for man to know that.

“Good evening, Miss Sewell.”

Her head turns slowly to face the voice.

“Mr Marks.”

A handsome man with blond hair and brown eyes stands before them, his approach gone entirely unnoticed by the women before him.

“I trust you are well this evening? Is the Miss du Mortain here in Bath too?”

“I’m afraid not, she preferred to remain in London for the season. And you, Mr Marks? Have you been in Bath long?”

“Only a fortnight, I’m due to be here for the rest of the season.”

Miss Sewell only smiles in response, leaving the man looking between the two women. Lottie wonders for a moment why she doesn’t introduce them when Mr Marks’ smooth voice interrupts her.

“I should rather like to ask your friend here to dance.” He gestures to Lottie, inclining his head slightly, and she blinks, taken aback. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees a cool mask wash over Miss Sewell’s usually friendly features.

“Is it not presumptuous that you should ask a lady to dance without having first made her acquaintance? Some may consider that rather bold, sir.”

“Fortune favours—”

Lottie lifts her hand to her mouth so as to cover the smile growing there as Miss Sewell cuts him off. “Oh, you can do better than recite an old proverb, Mr Marks. A learned man such as yourself must have a plethora of words at your disposal. I’m sure you can enchant my dear friend here with a few of your own.” She folds her hands in her lap, long brown fingers sitting neatly against the dusky green of her gown and holds his gaze, a smile firmly set on her lips.

They both watch as the man before them reddens, opening his mouth and then closing it abruptly. He looks away.

“No? Perhaps your time will be better spent with women already in your acquaintance, Mr Marks.” Lottie has never heard her speak like this, still all politeness in her words, but there’s something underneath, a finality in her tone that sends Mr Marks on his way. “It was a pleasure to see you, I will pass on your regards to Miss du Mortain.”

Mr Marks finally finds his voice, “Forgive me, Miss Sewell,” He nods first at her companion, then at Lottie, “I forgot I already promised this next dance to another.” His eyes linger for a moment on the latter, offering a tight smile, before he turns away, coat tails swishing behind him.

Silence falls over the friends as they watch him depart, neither needing to look at the other to know they have matching smiles on their faces.

“Do you have a history with Mr Marks, Miss Sewell?”

Her smile falters slightly. “I suppose you could call it that.”

“A scorned lover, perhaps? One of many of yours, I’m sure.”

“Scorned -” She turns quickly to look at her, mouth open and brow furrowed in protestation when she sees Lottie’s smirk. “Oh, you’re teasing me.” She purses her lips and shakes her head, narrowed eyes not leaving Lottie’s. “Ironic, as you should be thanking me.”

“Oh? You didn’t want the two of us to have an acquaintance? I couldn’t tell.”

She scoffs. “I would not deign to introduce you to the likes of Robert Marks. I only wish I had been afforded the same privilege, then we might have avoided the altercation altogether.”

“Don’t say that, I rather enjoyed the altercation , as you call it.”

Miss Sewell watches her, brown eyes flickering between hazel ones, the smile that Lottie is beginning to associate with her own happiness working its way onto her face. “Have you plans this week?”

Lottie only shakes her head in response to the sudden topic change and looks toward the dance floor, cheeks still tinted pink from Miss Sewell’s previous attentions.

“I will be going to the Circulating Library tomorrow. Would you like to join me?”

“Only if you do not laugh at how few great works of literature I have read. You will have to give me recommendations.”

“Do I ever laugh at you, Miss Fitzwilliam?”

“Frequently.” Lottie forces her lips in a frown that refuses to hold.

“How can I ever earn your forgiveness?”

The smile is inescapable now, the corners of her lips pull up on their own accord, and Lottie turns to face Miss Sewell, not expecting her dark eyes to already be focused on her.

Before Lottie can think of anything to say, they are interrupted once again. Her brother approaches with a man whose name she pays no attention to, requesting a dance. There is no escaping this time.

Lottie stands, sparing a wistful, apologetic glance at Miss Sewell and she takes the arm of her partner. She watches as Miss Sewell, never alone for long, is approached by someone.

Lottie can see her from the other side of the wide circle as her eyes look up under those dark lashes. Miss Sewell watches her instead of her partner, inclines her head and curtsies, a smile pulling at her lips that makes the butterflies in Lottie’s stomach take flight. Barely remembering to bow herself, Lottie’s eyes finally find her own partner, who doesn’t appear to have noticed her distraction.

They dance in circles, stepping in, and around their partners. At one point Lottie finds her fingers barely brushing against Miss Sewell’s as they pass each other, in a moment too quick to hold onto, though her mere presence warms her through.

It’s a slow, measured dance; one focused on maintained eye contact between partners and hands held up, close to their partner, but never quite meeting.

Lottie later remarks, in a rare, treasured moment of privacy whilst waiting for their respective carriages, that the dance is needlessly complicated and Miss Sewell smiles at her, drawing close.

She whispers, careful to not quite touch — lips so close that Lottie can feel her breath on her skin, “It’s about the anticipation, Miss Fitzwilliam, the build up to that moment you are allowed to touch.” She reaches a hand up, brushing a loose curl back from Lottie’s face. She feels her eyes flutter closed as fingers just barely ghost over the back of her neck. “And then,” her lips are so close, she knows if she turned her head she could feel them, soft against her skin, “it’s about relinquishing it,” Miss Sewell moves away, and Lottie’s body moves of its own accord, attempting to follow, “just when you’re eager for more.”

She does not need to open her eyes to know the smirk on Natalie’s face.

Once again interrupted, their carriages pull up. “Tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow.” The word is sweet on her lips, a promise of something more .

#twc #wayhaven chronicles #wayhaven fic #twc nat #nat sewell #nat x lottie #oc: lottie fitzwilliam #the wayhaven chronicles #regency fic #writing #next chapter maybe they’ll be on first name basis #and actually get to touch #lmao

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cassyapper · 4 years ago

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jotaro kujo song analysis: “eight” by sleeping at last

i could not figure out what the fuck to title this for a long time. please forgive me ik it’s awkward but it’s the best i got

anyway the song “eight” by sleeping at last made me mentally ill so let’s get into why <3

here’s a link to the song: https://youtu.be/obi4KCh6eHQ

here’s a link to the lyrics i referenced: https://genius.com/Sleeping-at-last-eight-lyrics

be warned there are part 3, part 4, part 5, and part 6 spoilers in this

with that let’s begin.

“I remember the minute;/it was like a switch was flipped --/i was just a kid who grew up strong enough/to pick this armor up,/and suddenly it fit” Lengthy first line to start this on i know but cutting it up didn’t make sense so please forgive me… Alright let’s get to the meat of this hm? This line is about when jotaro first manifested star platinum. “I remember the minute, it was like a switch was flipped” fits perfectly with how suddenly and obviously star platinum became known to its user, as jotaro first manifests it when he’s in the middle of a fight, a fight star platinum ends very quickly and brutally. The “i was just a kid who grew up strong enough to pick this armor up” is about jotaro having the willpower to control a stand such as star platinum and not get ill over it. He “grew up strong enough to pick this armor up”, this armor being star platinum (which, yes, star platinum is armor more than a weapon because its strength is used to protect. This is stated explicitly in the jin hashimoto song “star platinum” which was written specifically with jotaro/star platinum in mind, as the title suggests). It also shows how young jotaro was re the “kid” description; he was only 17, the youngest jojo up to that point. the “and suddenly it fit” also mixes with how suddenly star platinum manifested, particularly how jotaro gained passable control over it very quickly

“God, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago…/I was little, I was weak, I was perfectly naive,/and I grew up too quick.” Another long line im sorry it just doesnt make sense to cut it up 😭 Anyway this is part 6 jotaro reflecting on his past self, PARTICULARLY part 3 jotaro, which explains the “god, that was so long ago, long ago, long ago…” segment “I was little, i was weak, i was perfectly naive” is kinda gold coming from part 6 jotaro cause end of part 3 jotaro is canonically when he’s at his strongest but i dont think part 6 jotaro is talking about star platinum in this line. He’s talking about jotaro being tactless and rude and pushing away his loved aways in a disillusioned attempt to keep them safe. By part 6, jotaro has to have known his coping mechanism of self-imposed isolation wasnt fair to his loved ones/himself and it clearly didnt WORK as evidenced by jolyne’s situation, so he’s cursing his younger self for it here. Hence, the calling of part 3 jotaro “little, weak, perfectly naive.” part 3 jotaro starts making the bed that part 6 jotaro ends up having to lay in and he hates him for it. The “and I grew up too quick” part is jotaro acknowledging his trauma. Even before part 3 started jotaro clearly had issues and they just kept building and building and building from part 3 and on. Combined with his self-imposed isolation, jotaro had to grow up quick to survive, and this line is part 6 jotaro reflecting on that

“Now you won’t see all that i have to lose,/all i’ve lost in the fight to protect it.” Remember the self-imposed isolation i mentioned in the last line? This line is about why jotaro does that. He hates being vulnerable. He hates relying on others. We only see him comfortable trusting others to take care of things ONCE the entire series, during the steely dan arc, when he believes in kakyoin’s abilities to keep joseph safe and get the lovers out of him safely. ONCE out of the four parts he’s featured in, out of the three he’s prominent in. jotaro does this, as i previously mentioned, out of a disillusioned attempt to keep those he loves safe, hence the “now you won’t see all that i have to lose” line. This behavior is solidified in jotaro at the end of stardust crusaders, when the two final times he tried to trust that others would handle it resulted in the deaths of over of half those he cared the most about (he may have gotten joseph back, but don’t forget that joseph did actually die). Thus, this decisive night ties into the “all i’ve lost in the fight to protect it” line. He’s lost loved ones but he won’t lose them again, not in the same way at least. Ironically, the self-imposed isolation only puts his loved ones and himself in danger, but i can get into that later.

“I won’t let you in, i swore never again --/i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” This line kinda ties back with what i was mentioning in the last line, but it hones it a bit more on jotaro’s complete denial of being vulnerable rather than how he acts to ensure he isnt such. “I wont let you in, i swore never again” is a direct tie-in for how jotaro feels after stardust crusaders; he is never going to get as close to anyone or anything the way he was close to the crusaders ever again. Nothing is ever going to matter to him the same way and he is going to make sure of that, as the “swore never again” implies, because he is certain, at least at first, that this will keep others safe. The “i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” part goes into how selfish and arrogant jotaro’s mentality is. Don’t get me wrong, jotaro’s self-imposed isolation can be seen as selfless, especially because the main driving force behind it is to keep others safe -- but it’s not the only force driving it. Like i said, jotaro doesn’t want to be vulnerable, and to be sure he doesnt feel that way, he needs to ensure he won’t be hurt. Can’t be sad when people die if you were never close to them, right? So as much as it is to protect others, he also is protecting himself by closing off from others. It’s also arrogant of jotaro to assume he is the deciding factor of who lives and dies, that he gets to choose/manipulate the cycle of life and death by deciding on if he opens up to others. Jotaro had this mentality of being a “deciding factor” shoved into his head during the journey to egypt, and that kinda warps his worldview as a result; everything must be his fault. Things go bad surely because he let them somehow. And it’s not jotaro’s fault he’s ill in the head like this but it is still arrogant, and the “i can’t afford, no, i refuse to be rejected” line attests to this.

“I want to break these bones until theyre better/i want to break them right and feel alive” Oh jotaro you have the shittiest fuckign coping mechanisms Alright. “I want to break these bones until theyre better” ties into jotaro throwing himself into dangerous situations alone. He’s just so so damn convinced he can handle everything himself -- bc again, he is led to believe he is the deciding factor of life and death -- he just has to try. If things go wrong, it’s bc he didn’t try hard enough, hence the “break these bones until theyre better”; jotaro will hurt himself and will be convinced he deserved it until he “learns” how to be perfect like he’s “supposed” to be. But being perfect isnt something you can learn, you mentally ill motherfucker jotaro. anyway “I want to break them right and feel alive” ties into the fact jotaro would rather break his body over and over and over rather than tell his loved ones he cares. The only right way to be hurt to him is taking a hit that was meant for those he loves. Jotaro is very much a man of action rather than a man of word, and this line is about his rather unique way of acting (that is, getting beat the fuck up over and over) Basically jotaro can’t tell the people he loves that he, well, loves them, unless he is literally dying. Examples of what i mean: jotaro preferred going on a perilous, 50-day journey to just telling holly he loved her; jotaro preferred getting beat over the head with a rock in the lovers arc rather than risk hurting joseph; jotaro preferred to literally get blown up by sheer heart attack rather than tell koichi to his face he is a good kid; jotaro stepped knowingly into a trap for jolyne and had to literally believe he was in fact saying his last words before he uttered “i’ve always cherished you.”

“You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong --/my healing needed more than time” Oh my GODDDddDDDdcdd im sobbing as i type jotaro your head is so so damn ill Okay so i see him spitting this line towards joseph. Let me explain Joseph would no doubt pick up on jotaro’s ptsd and he’ll do his best to console jotaro over the deaths of their friends. But see joseph is ALSO an ill in the head idiot whose idea of therapy is electroshock and who calls ptsd “shell shock”. So all he can offer to jotaro is “youll feel better in time” because that was kinda true for him; he managed to move on in time. What joseph fails to realize is what made him feel better was not time, but the support of those remaining in his life (lisa lisa, suziq, erina, smokey). But jotaro listens and tries to give it time but the thing with jotaro is he just gets worse and worse as time wears on because he deliberately cut himself off from anyone who could console him (as well as got continually traumatized throughout his life), so time never helped but actually made things worse. Thus jotaro spitting “you were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong, my healing needed more than time”. In terms of timeline, probably happens right after part 5 jotaro stares longingly at the crusaders picture

“When i see fragile things, helpless things, broken things/i see the familiar” Im sorry every new line i start to analyze i begin crying so im just letting you all know incase the coherency takes a dip (as if this was coherent in the first place lmfao) Anyway so this line in relation to Jotaro is about how he projects HARD on the new generation. We see this w his interactions w josuke and koichi, the “fragile things” (there is no way he didnt see koichi as a filler for kakyoin im sorry. Also he just wants josuke safe with his friends like how he wished he was safe with his own friends as a teenager), how he was wary of giorno, “the helpless things” (jotaro is scared he’ll be similar to his dad, just like jotaro is similar enough to dio to share the same stand power…), and his interactions w jolyne, “the broken things” (angry teen in a prison? Come now).

“I was little, i was weak, i was perfect too/now i’m a broken mirror” Throwback to the second line. Once again part 6 jotaro is reflecting but the difference here is that part 3 was when jotaro was last unashamedly happy, but more than that, part 3 jotaro was on his way to healing before everything went to shit. like i mentioned earlier, jotaro only relies on someone else completely once, and that happens in part 3. Jotaro is finally able to trust in someone else’s capabilities, which is what he needed to do before he could allow anyone to help him with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Hence, why part 6 jotaro would describe him as “perfect”; because he would’ve been perfect enough if he could just trust in others like that again But as the line suggests, that went wrong. Jotaro is now a “broken mirror,” which alludes to the fact that while he projects onto the kids, the kids (the ones that know him at least) project onto him as well, especially jolyne, because in part 6 she finally figures out her dad’s thought processes, as she is experiencing those patterns of thinking too. Jotaro is a role model for them in the sense of “see him? Do the opposite of what he did” KJ;DNJ;DN;SN

“But i can’t let you see all that i have to lose/all that i’ve lost in the fight to protect it” Same meaning as before mostly but the repetition is important me thinks because it mimics jotaro like frantically trying to remind himself why he must be distant when all he wanted to do was go home to jolyne and be her father

“I can’t let you in --/ i swore never again,/ i can’t afford to let myself be blindsided” This means roughly the same thing as the previous line that’s similar to this, but the “i can’t afford to let myself be blindsided” is less about jotaro’s selfishness/arrogance and more about how he believes enemies will use his loved ones against him and how goddamn, it would work, it would work so well because jotaro loves so, so damn much It’s a shame distancing himself didn’t work the way he wanted it to and ended up making his loved ones even more vulnerable than they would have been otherwise

“I’m standing guard,/i’m falling apart/and all i want to do is to trust you” (Begins screaming and doesn’t stop) okay so this line is about jotaro and jolyne during the beginning of stone ocean “Im standing guard” alludes to the fact that jotaro is still desperately trying to appear distant and uninterested even as he attempts to break his fucking daughter out of prison “I’m falling apart” ties into jotaro failing miserably at remaining cold towards jolyne, how he eventually caves in and tells her he loves her in addition to taking a literal bullet for her, using time stop to ensure he can make it to her to do so. and also this line ties into how he is literally physically shot and how his memories and stand are taken from him “And all i want to do is to trust you” is directed towards jolyne of course. God his whole “i’ve always cherished you” ties in with this line; like i mentioned earlier, jotaro by part 6 knows his self-imposed isolation is useless, but old habits die hard and also he was in very deep by the time he accepted there was no reason to go in the first place at all. So he doesn’t know how to change, he doesn’t know how to trust jolyne, it’d been 20ish years since he last trusted someone completely, but god he wants to. He wants to trust her. It’s all he wants to do hence this line

“Show me how to lay my sword down/for long enough to let you through” So continuing from the last line, jotaro just wants to let jolyne in. he wants to learn how to do that. I think this line is actually directed towards his younger self; 17 year old jotaro managed to let in a person once, after all (more than one person in fact, but all the crusaders). This would also make more sense w my interpretation of how part 6 jotaro calls part 3 jotaro “perfect” in this regard Essentially it’s jotaro thumbing through his memories to figure out how his past self gathered the security to trust in someone else wholeheartedly...which makes the fact that pucci steals his memories particularly fucked up in this context

“Here i am, pry me open/what do you want to know?” Another line directed toward jolyne. “Here i am, pry me open” refers to how after jotaro tells jolyne he cherishes her, all cards are on the table. He’s shown vulnerability, might as well go full throttle. So, he’s willing to talk to jolyne for the first time ever, especially because she’s a stand user now “What do you want to know?” ties into jotaro being willing to open up, but also the fact that jolyne doesnt really know her dad ):

“I’m just a kid who grew up scared enough/to hold the door shut/and bury my innocence” Hhnghg begins wailing this line is again about post-egypt jotaro. A lot of jotaro’s like...emotional maturation (and even some physical) occurred during the trip to egypt and immediately afterward. he’s in pain and desperately trying to rationalize a way he can be in control of never letting something like what happened in egypt happen again, hence the “im just a kid who grew up scared enough” “To hold the door shut” refers to how jotaro cut off other people, even the people who used to know him very well, like joseph and polnareff and holly “And bury my innocence” i mentioned this in another line but this bit also refers to how jotaro had to grow up quickly to survive, considering his self-imposed isolation and his life path of chasing down dio’s remnants

“But here’s a map, here’s a shovel/here’s my Achilles’ heel” This line is SUPPOSED to be directed toward jolyne but inadvertently it is also directed toward pucci. When jotaro says fuck it and gives up on his pretense of disinterest in jolyne, finally letting her know he loves her, he’s finally building the frame of a bridge to jolyne; he’s ready to do what he’s wanted to for so long, no matter how vulnerable it makes him, and that is to be jolyne’s father. However, pucci takes note of this; he knows to aim for jolyne in the final battle because of jotaro’s earlier actions when he tries breaking jolyne out of prison. It really is a shame how the narrative keeps fucking enforcing jotaro’s shitty self-imposed isolation

“I’m all in, palms out, i’m at your mercy now and i’m ready to begin/i am strong, i am strong, i am strong enough to let you in” Hmm i imagine this line being when jotaro meets back up with jolyne after he gets his memory disk back. The first thing he does is hug her and cradle her close to him, showing off to the world, right in front of pucci, how much his daughter means to him. But jotaro, at least for the moment, is not scared to be vulnerable anymore. Ever since he decided to give up his cold facade, he was ready to let jolyne in, and he finally has the chance to do that at least a little right before the final battle, which is what this line is about

“I’ll shake the ground with all my might/i will pull my whole heart up to the surface” Final battle in stone ocean,,, What the “i’ll shake the ground will all my might” line refers to is jotaro’s willingness to use star platinum the world during the battle. He’s ready to go all in to save the world, and most importantly, save jolyne, even if he has to use the source of his greatest trauma to do it. Jotaro’s a key player and he knows it, has known it for a long time, and this time he’s going to use that for his happy ending. And well, as i mentioned in the last line, jotaro’s done with the self-isolation and throws himself into the role of jolyne’s father, at least as much as he has the right to throw himself into. This is mostly what the “i will pull my whole heart up to the surface” line refers to

“For the innocent, for the vulnerable/i’ll show up to the frontlines with a purpose” More stone ocean final battle. The “innocent and vulnerable” jotaro is showing up for are jolyne, namely, but also hermes and emporio, and beyond that, the world. Jotaro understands how serious this is and he’s always been a force meant for protection, so he is here to do just that, which is what the “i’ll show up to the frontlines with a purpose” line refers to. Jotaro doesnt believe he’s a good person -- and he might not be, in the grand scheme of things -- but he does fight for what he believes is right, he always has, he mentions this way back in stardust crusaders during his fight with kakyoin. He’s never going to let injustice stand, especially not when he knows he’s such a key player

“And i’ll give all i have, i’ll give my blood, give my sweat --/an ocean of tears will spill for what is broken” This line actually applies to all the “final battles” jotaro has been involved in; part 3, part 4, and part 6. Jotaro, as i mentioned in the last line, has a strong sense of justice and is a force that first and foremost tries to protect, which the “i’ll give all i have, i’’l give my blood, give my sweat” part of this line refers to. Jotaro gives his all, has given his all, to rid the world of dio’s influence, he ruined his entire fucking life to do so, and this line gives credence to that. “An ocean of tears will spill for what is broken” refers to jotaro mourning all the what-ifs in his life, which are all tied with how the outcomes of these final battles go. If part 3 didnt end the way it did, jotaro would know how to trust still, he wouldve been happy even, maybe he wouldnt have had to sacrifice the rest of his life to dio; if part 4 didn’t end the way it did, maybe jotaro couldve gone home to his daughter, maybe he couldve been a bit of a better dad (this is because kids were involved in part 4 even if they didn’t try to because stand users attract stand users, and jotaro couldnt risk doing that to his daughter, so he ends up never coming home); and now for part 6, jotaro hopes that if it ends just a little better than the previous two, jotaro could at least died a satisfying death of sacrificing himself for jolyne, or maybe even got a chance to try mending his relationship with jolyne if they both survive

“I’m shattered porcelain, glued back together again” So this line speaks to both physical and emotional states Jotaro was physically “shattered porcelain” when he lost his stand and memory and also was shot, and he was “glued back together again” when he got medical attention and jolyne got back his disks Jotaro was emotionally “shattered porcelain” due to the fact he couldnt trust anyone completely since he was 17 goddamn years old but he’s “glued back together again” in the sense he’s ready to finally, finally try and be vulnerable in order to save his relationship with jolyne

“Invincible like i’ve never been” This line hurts so fucking much because i believe jotaro was optimistic, all things considered, at the beginning of the final fight in stone ocean. After all, he knows he’s an important figure in all this, he has his stand disk and memories back, he and jolyne and the others have a plan, and he has a future he wants to fight for in addition to the world’s continued functioning So he feels “invincible” like he’s never felt before because not even during the part 3 final battle with dio did he have the hope for the future he has now. But then. Then pucci brings out the knives. And the man who could control time never had enough in the end. He dies and cant even save jolyne with his death. The world ends. He failed. I think this is perfectly represented with how suddenly the song ends. It just perfectly encapsulates the tragedy that is jotaro kujo and i cant stop fucking thinking about it

thanks for reading all this if you did. jotaro kujo makes me feel mentally ill

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jumoonjae · 4 years ago

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Right Through the Heart: Chapter 2

Pairings: Juyeon X Reader X Sunwoo

Genre: Action

Warnings: Violence

Word Count: 7k Words

A/N: I’m super duper sorry for the delay, really got carried away while editing it. I hope you enjoy this one and sorry again.

Image are not mine. Full credit to the owner.

The sound of fast paced footsteps and heavy breathing echoes throughout the dark narrow alley located in the hidden part of the city where two figure wearing all black from two different sides, looking like nothing more than a shadow in the darkness of the night. It was one of the suspect who escaped from the scene where his team ambushed a lair of alleged human trafficking. Few suspect had been caught while one manage to escape that had him in pursuit for almost fifteen minutes straight and leads to this exact alley. Juyeon pick up his pace and stretched his hands to reach the suspect’s hood but missed it by an inch almost making him stumbled. But he manage to balance his body and keep chasing the suspect.

When the suspect took a turn into a corner, he follows and without him knowing, the guy had been waiting for him by the wall. A punch thrown at the moment he take his turn but his instinct is fast enough to block the punch by shielding the side of his face using his forearm and take his own swing hitting the suspect right on his nose causing the suspect to stumble back head ricocheting against the wall.

“Put your hands on the back of your head where i can see it.” Juyeon said firmly taking his gun from his back and point it to the suspect. But he didn’t budge, he look back and forth to Juyeon and the gun he was holding trying plan his next moves.

“While I’m still being nice.” He added, but the suspect still didn’t comply and stare straight into Juyeon’s eyes in a challenging manner. He know the suspect had figure the nature of the law; only use guns as your last resort.

He suddenly took a step forward and throw a kick aiming to Juyeon’s ribs but Juyeon took a step back just enough to counter the kick sending the suspect stumbling to the side. Without giving him any time to react, he spin his body and a hard kick landed right on the suspect jaw shoving him to the ground unconscious.

“I warned you.” Juyeon quipped as he walk towards the unconscious man trying to think of a way to take him back to his team since he dropped hid radio along the way. But then a sound of a gunshot stop him from walking and he turn around immediately with his gun ready to point to anyone behind him. He saw another man a younger one, too young to even hold a gun. He was in startled state constantly looking at Juyeon and up to the roof on the building from across the streets looking like he just seen a ghost.

“Put the gun down and we will walk out of here alive.” Juyeon said slowly trying to talk the guy out so no one will be harmed.

“No!” The guy yelled still holding his gunpoint to Juyeon and still constantly looking in fear and determination. Distracted.

He was way too distracted and Juyeon took the opportunity to take a step forward swiftly taking the gun from the guy and twist his hand to his back pushing his body down kneeling to the ground using his weight.

“Juyeon.” He look back to see one of his teammate running to him and stops to catch his breath with both hands on each side of his knee.

“Did you do all that?” He asks straighten his body and put his hands on his waist still panting hard looking at both suspect then to Juyeon.

“Not really.” He said looking up to the dark roof where the suspect keep glancing to, trying to make out any form of human then back to the suspect’s gun and lean over to take a closer look. It has dent on the rear grip, like it was shot with another bullet.

“What is it?” Sangyeon asks

“Nothing.” Juyeon said before getting the first suspect up with Sangyeon’s help to walk back to where their team was.

“Good instinct.” You said taking your eyes away from the scope as side smile grow on your face when he take one last glance to where you were and you swear he was looking straight to your eyes before turning on his heels and walk away. You pack your sniper riffle into the case and wait until they’re no where to be seen before you got out from behind the stacks of boxes and walk to the opposite side through the roof where you had been following him since the beginning of his mission.

You drive your black hummer deeper into the base after going through the usual security check. You lean forward looking through your windshield looking at two helicopter flying above you ready to land on the designated area. You parked your car on your own spot and hop off the vehicle.

“Chan.” You called when you saw the said guy walking closer to you from the helicopter and he gave you his usual sweet smile while waving at you. “Sniper.” He beamed

“I have a name Chan.” You chuckled while getting your sniper riffle from the back seat and he raise his eyebrow looking at the riffle then to you. You shut the back door and shake your head walking into the building followed by him.

“Did you bring back my captain in one piece?” You ask turning around making him chuckle.

“Yes ma’am and your best friend too.” He said gesturing his hand to the helicopter where two of your team carrying a crate on both side and place it on the ground before getting back in while Chan’s team loading the crate into a truck to be transferred into the building.

“How was it?” You asks him now walking side by side into the building greeting a few mechanic who was on their night shift.

“It turns out that this, the one that we just took down was one of their lair.” He said and you stop walking looking at him in disbelief.

“What? The informer didn’t look it through?”

“I think they overlooked it and i just got an information that the business might be owned by one of the minister.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.” You groaned out loud gaining every attention inside the huge garage. “We don’t take chained cases and the one that is connected to any of the minister Chan. Don’t risk this division. Its not worth it.” You said but the guy was way too flustered to say anything back. It was the first time you ever snap on him since you just start to loosen up to the two team just recently despite being there for almost four years.

“Its too late Y/N.” Sunwoo appeared from the outside with Changmin walking behind him.

“If we mess with the blue house they have more than enough power to take us down.” You said now looking at your own captain then to Changmin who now standing directly in front of you.

“Its already done for Y/N don’t blame us, we don’t know either.” He said through gritted teeth clearly didn’t like how you lash out on the other’s team captain. But you couldn’t take it when your team throw them self into the pit that you had been trying to keep them away from.

“Hey, we do what we always do best okay.” Chan touching your shoulder gently to calm you down as the atmosphere between you and Sunwoo started to tense. You ignored him before stomping into your team’s quarters right between SKZ and ATZ team.

“Whoa, easy.” Haknyeon said when he heard the main door slams shut and saw you walking straight to the weapon room without greeting them like you always did.

“What’s wrong with her?” Haknyeon asks when Sunwoo and Changmin enters the room.

“Its about the case.”

“Y/N we don’t know about it.” Sunwoo said chasing after you into the weapon room and close the door behind him, walking to you who was placing back your sniper riffle onto its place.

“You should’ve infiltrate those place first Sunwoo, like we always did. Why did you skip that crucial process? We always double check every cases before proceeding with the mission. What had gotten into you? You just risk this place by meddling with one of the power from the blue house and if they found out about us, if the whole board agree that we are the threat, even the president couldn’t protect us.” You yelled aggressively, putting him in silence.

“We just want it to end sooner.”

“Now look where it get you. You need to track them one by one for god knows how long and we had to put other case on pending. This need to be done immediately Sunwoo, we need to take them all down before they found us and tear this place apart.”

“I’m sorry Y/N.”

“Just forget it.”

“I’ve heard about it.” Was the only thing that came out from Lt. General Lee when you came to his office the next night. Sitting on the chair opposite from him just like last time when he decided to hand his sons life to your hands. The only difference was the atmosphere wasn’t as tight as last time. But you still hadn’t over upsetting about the profound information about the recent case.

“Let your and two other team worry about that, ATZ will back you up as soon as they done with their mission. I heard you lash out on Chan and your captain last night.” You look down picking your nail, you wanted to say you didn’t mean to but it was done, even if you did feel slightly bad about it.

“But it was me Y/N, who is at fault for not looking deeper into the case before authorizing it.” He said as his eyes looking at you with a glint of guilt in his eyes. “Let me help them fix this.” You suggested but he shake his head making you furrowed your brow.

“I understand how you feel Y/N, I’m worried about the consequences of this mission too, about this divsion’s wellbeing. But you and I are well aware that if this case leads to one of the minister, no one can handle it other than us. You know the official force wont dare to take this mission for their own good.” He explained and you couldn’t be more agree to it.

“But it’ll risk this place.” You sighed. “and us.”

“The president have our back remember.”

“I know but-”

“Just focus on Juyeon for now Y/N. If he safe, this place will be safe.”

“But he don’t have enough power to save us. He just started and he is in the lowest rank.”

“That is your job Y/N. If he’s doing great in every mission, it wont take long for him to climb up the ranks. But the thing is, he isn’t greedy for ranks. You need to push him without him knowing. But this might cost him getting an enemy within his team and by that time you need to keep an eye on his own team rather than the real enemy he is facing.” He paused for a moment as a small proud smile creep on his face as he leans back to his chair both elbow prepped on the arm rest, hands clasp together.

“I heard Juyeon was praised for his first mission. Was it you?”

“No, its him. I just followed him around.” You said and a relieved sighed escaped the old man’s lips. It was the first time you’ve seen his fatherly side, and it suddenly made you wonder, if your father is still around would he look like him? It was also the first time you ever took in every detail of his features and his eyes strikes you the most. if the wrinkle and the eye bag wasn’t there, you could see Juyeon’s when you look at it.

“He’s doing great sir. You can leave him to me,” you exhales, before leaning forward, elbows on your tight. “I promise I’ll take care of him.”

“Here,” he said while pulling the drawer from under his desk and pushed two black box across the desk closer to you

“One for you and one for my son.” You scoot over to take one of the box placing it on your lap before giving him a suspicious look that he just chuckle to. You slowly open the box revealing an expensive looking black watch and you place it on the desk before opening another box that has larger version of the first one. You look back to the man asking for explanation.

“I asked your favorite dongsaeng to plant a tracker on it just like the one he made for your team. But the one could track him is the one who had the pair, no one could ever track him aside from you. Not even me.”

“Why?” You asked not getting why he trust you too much

“In case they found out about this division, we all have records, an army records. But you’re not an army Y/N, you don’t even exist anywhere inside the database. You’re just a normal citizen. So if this pla-”

“Don’t say it please.” You cut him off

“But instead of protecting him why don’t i just protect you and keep you here?”

“I’m old Y/N and when you get older, you starts to malfunction.” He said leaning back on his chair eyes still looking at you. “I keep forgetting things these day Y/N.” He confessed while looking to his own picture on the wall, wearing his full uniform and medals. You feel sorry for him, and you too looking to his picture probably taken years ago when he still look healthy and young. When you look back to him, he already looking at you with a hopeful eyes.

“I trust you Y/N. Don’t let me down.”

“You really don’t have to.” You silently watch as Juyeon bit his lips to contain the growing smile on his face.

“They only had this kind of design for couple set and besides i get lesser price for the set.” You lied showing him your own that matched the one you gave him and you could see how his eyes sparkle that tug some string from the pit of your stomach.

“Thank you Y/N.” He said taking off his own watch and replace it with the one you bought then shows it to you with the brightest smile.

“Take it as a friendship token. Don’t you ever take it off.” You playfully threaten him making him chuckle.

“By the way how was it?” You asks flipping the meat on the round griller in the middle of the table taking in the nice scent that make your stomach to grumble so hard that Juyeon gave you a comical look and you grinned sheepishly. “What, my mission?”

“Mhm.” You nod tasting the end of your chopstick deciding to take the meat that almost cooked before he beat you to it, placing the meat on your bowl. “Its okay.”

“Okay.” You said knowing that he probably couldn’t give you the full detail and dig in your own food in silence.

“Which museum do you work in by the way?” He asks almost making you choke on your own food,

“I don’t work in a museum Juyeon, I work with the research team, i work in the field with the expedition team.”

“Yeah, where’s the base?” He asks again almost making you broke a cold sweat. You didn’t thought about it to that extend.

“Y/N?” You whip your head instantly to the voice and you never been so glad to see the guy who was approaching you while waving with the sweetest smile he always wear.

“Oh hey.” You wave back trying to hide that you were glad that he decided to show up at the right time and Juyeon look back to see the said man. “Are you alone?” You ask, looking around to look for his fiancée then back to him when you couldn’t find any familiar faces.

“No actually my friend wanted to try this new barbeque restaurant.” He answered before turning his head to look at Juyeon then back to you with his both eyebrow raised.

“Oh this is Juyeon, Juyeon this is my cousin. Chanhee.”

“Your boyfriend? Gosh, you even have a couple watch.” You almost choked at the word boyfriend but before you could correct him, he cut you off.

“Its good to know you’ve been seeing someone.” He said taking the seat right next to you. “I’m always worried that she’ll die alone you know.” You hit his shoulder at the word making both men to chuckle.

“How could you be so sure? I’m probably seeing someone without you knowing.” “With that shitty work hours of your? I highly doubt that” He brush you off looking to Juyeon like he was going to spill your most sacred secrets. “She always came back in the morning looking like a mess and didn’t even take a shower. Oh and you know, we normal people drink coffee in the morning, can you guess what he drinks in the morning?.” He lean forward to Juyeon and you pull the back of his neck to make him sit back on his chair.

“What?” Juyeon ask eyes glimmering with pure interest.

“A scotch.” Chanhee cover the side of his face with his palm hiding it away from you and smile smugly right after making you heaved a super long sigh.

“Stop it.” You grip the back of his neck and rock his body left to right while gritting your teeth while he just laughing at you.

“Oh so you two live together?” Juyeon asks.

“Yeah. I feel bad for her.” He said releasing your tight grip from the back of his neck.

“You don’t have to tell him that.” You cut Chanhee off from telling the same thing he always did when you both hanging out with other people.

“What, your boyfriend need to know that.”

“Know what?” Juyeon ask stopping you both from bickering.

“When her parents died, my family couldn’t take her in and she end up growing up in the orphanage.”

“But we still went to the same school and same class.” You said smiling looking at your cousin.

“I think the orphanage was cool you know, they even teach them self defence. You really should see how she flip that guy back in high school who keep picking a fight with me and gosh i feel so safe hanging out with her.” He said rubbing his chest dramatically while juyeon look at you with one eyebrow raised.

“well my skill is gone now since i haven’t been practicing it for years.” You lied again and he just nod.

“But right after high school, we were separated and lost contact just until few years back.” Your cousin said while looking at you like he always did. Look of relieved.

“He still feel bad and force me to live with him.” You look away from him to cut the emotional silence that engulfs.

“But she always away anyway working, working, working. I remember that one time she didn’t show up for two weeks and i couldn’t even reach her.” He start again with his eye roll and scoffs.

“Yeah, my work consist of being in the jungle, with no reception digging the soil and stuff for the artifact. Sometimes the expedition took almost a month.” You reasoned out and Juyeon nod. It was a lie Eric came up with for you to tell Chanhee at first since you’re always away for your mission, and sometime you just like spending your time at the base.

“Whatever. By the way Jiwon already picked a dress for you since you didn’t show up when we did fitting two days ago.” Chanhee said as he took the meat from your bowl and shove it inside his mouth.

“Sorry. I got caught up with work.”

“Figured.” Chanhee said rolling his eyes for the ninth time that night. “You can pick it up this weekend and take Juyeon with you. They really have a nice suit collection there you know.” He said with full enthusiasm

“Sure, we can go check it out. Right Y/N?” Juyeon said making you stop glaring at Chanhee from eating too much of your meat.

“But you already have a suit, the one that you wear on our dinner last time.” “Ooh you both went on a dinner? Suit? Probably at some expensive restaurant.” Chanhee looking at you teasingly.

“Mind your own business Choi Chanhee.”

“Just go. You’ll be getting a discount you cheap ass. What, does your work doesn’t pay you enough?”

“Fyi, I’m not interesting in investing my money for something that i will wear only once in a lifetime. Such a waste.”

“Whatever. Cheap ass. That’s why you’re single you don’t even dress to impress.”

“Excuse you, what’s wrong with what am i wearing?” you said turning your body facing him and he look at you up and down judgingly.

“No one wears a ugly hoodie on a date Y/N.”

“Shut it. And stop eating my food you dumbass.” You said trying to snatch the chopstick away from his hand while Juyeon just chuckle at the way you and your cousin keep bickering.

“Fine!” He said placing the chopstick right in front of you after eating almost half of your portion and you scoffed at hi annoyingly. “I’ll get going first. Its good to see you Juyeon, I’ll see you at the wedding.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you then.”

“Sorry about him. He’s quite talkative.”

“Its fine.”

“And uh, about the boyfriend thing, can you please play along for a little while. I’m tired hearing his never ending nags about me being single.”

“Sure. But if I may ask,” He paused and you nod waiting for him to finish his words.

“Have you ever dated before?” he asked carefully and you snorts glaring at him. “I did.” You shrugged. “I’ve dated before, its just that maybe we’re not compatible, and i don’t have much time to spend with him and i think he don’t like that.” You said remembering the guy that Chanhee had hook you up. You really did try your best to make it work, but he just couldn’t understand your work hour and you can’t just come clean about what your actual work is.

“I see.”

“I’m fine though, i think I’ll meet someone when the time is right.”

“True, you really don’t need to rush anything about it.”

“What about you?” You asks

“I was long time ago.” He said smiling down spinning his glass of soju, you lean closer anticipating his next words and when he saw you, he just smile as an exhales escaped his nose and he lean back.

“We met back when I’m still in military school. We went to the same church, i had a massive crush on her and when i found out she had a crush on me too i was delighted.” You could see the glint of happiness in his eyes when he mentioned her, it shine so bright that you had to look away for a brief moment when you felt uneasiness inside your chest before looking back at him.

“When i got deployed, she stayed even if its hard for her to reach me.” Then his smile slowly fades as his eyes wander elsewhere. “She always been there for me even when I couldn’t been there for her. Her graduation day, her birthday and every special occasion.” He stops and stare into the spaces for a little while. But when the silence became unbearable, you force yourself to take a guess, even deep down you know how it ends just by the look on his face.

“she broke up with you?”

“No, I did.” He said as he pressed his lips forming a thin line that forces a smile. But before you could ask why, he shift his gaze to met yours.

“I can’t keep her waiting. Two year is long enough and I don’t want to stop doing what I was doing that time.”

“Did you try to call her when you got back?”

“I did. But I think she changed her number.”

“I’m sorry.” Is all you could say to him because you don’t know how to comfort people when you are so used to be alone. You felt bad for him, but he smiled instead, shaking his head apologetically.

“No, I’m sorry for telling you that. I just don’t know. Its good to finally let it out though.”

“Its fine Juyeon. You can tell me anything you know. We’re friend right?” you said in order to make him smile again. And he did. The smile that you swear you wont get tired by looking at it every second.

“Here.” He said placing a meat into your bowl and the watch that he was wearing caught your attention, you don’t know why but it look really good on his wrist, then you notice how tiny and short the chopstick that he was holding. “Stop staring at my hand.” He said teasingly and you snorts taking your own chopstick starting to dig on your food.

“By the way, my mom been asking about you.” you soften just at the remembrance of the sweet woman.

“She did?” You asks softly as a smile slowly growing on your face.

“Yeah.”

“How is she?”

“She’s doing great. She been wanting to come over and invite you for dinner again but I was kind of busy since its just two week since I’ve been transferred.” “I’d like to have a dinner with her soon.” You said with a big smile and Juyeon pouts to your words causing your heart to soars.

“What about me?” He said still pouting and a laugh erupted from you seeing that adorable side of him for the first time.

“We are having dinner now you dummy. We had plenty of it already and I think I gained so much weight because of you.” You said with laughter making him smile and scratch the back of his head.

“You’re beautiful even if you gained some.” He said making your laughter to die down as your stomach flutters by his sudden compliment. He too seems to be taken aback by his own words and bit his lips, the habit that you find so endearing. He cleared his throat and you immediately tear your eyes away from him shoving your food into your mouth. He look away hiding the growing smile seeing how flustered you were.

“How about we take a walk down at Hongdae right after, I haven’t had time to look around since I started right away after moving in.” He suggested after a long awkward silence and you nod, still avoiding his eyes.

“Sure.”

“You still mad at me?” Sunwoo asks breaking the silence since the ride from the base until you both started hiking the trail on the hill.

“No.” You huffed eyes trained to the mark on the trees that you had left few days ago while infiltrating the area and doesn’t even bother to look back at him. You’ve been planning to go on this mission by your own since they found dozens of active factory, from small yard factory to a massive one that you are now heading to. All three team had joined hand dividing into a few smaller team to retreat any document that can be used as a evident or maybe an insurance for your divison’s safety until Lt. General figure out how to deal with it if its true that everything is connected to one of the minister.

You slow down when you finally hear the sound of river flowing and as the sound get clearer, you found your last mark on a huge tree, stopping right in front of it. Sunwoo walk past you a few steps but you block his way by stretching your arm without looking away from the tree.

“Watch your step, its a thousand feet drop.” You said nonchalantly before checking on your gear while him being his curious self peeking behind the bush where he saw a cliff that is adjacent right to the top of a tall concrete wall. It will be an easy jump if it wasn't separated by a deep wide gorge with a steep sides.

“How far is that?” Sunwoo asks as he retreats back to where you were.

“three hundred feet.” You said without sparing any look to him that he could only sighed to the cold shoulder you’ve been giving him, he couldn’t even scold you for infiltrating this place without telling him as soon as Eric found it the other day and he almost missed your departure few hour prior if it wasn’t for Changmin who keep nagging at you for going alone. He watch as you climb up to one of the huge tree until you reach the highest spot without moving a single branch and now you’re on higher level than the tall wall which you could see everything inside the wall.

You look through your binocular and saw a few people in full protection suit going in and out the facilities. There were guards too, a few of them rounding the building and then you saw a truck just parked outside the entrance and few men appeared from the back carrying a crate transferring it into the building.

“They’re in the middle of transferring a crate into the building.” You said a soon as you reach the ground startling sunwoo in the process. You were in the middle of putting on your vest when you felt a soft tug from behind you. he adjust the back strap to make it fit perfectly like he always did before spins your body around to face him and adjusts the front strap, stopping only when he realize something is missing.

“You didn’t put on your armor plate.” He said taking it from the his backpack which you knew he always brings an extra for everything. You don’t even know when did he have the time to pack everything up since you only give him ten minutes to take his stuff when he insisted to come with you and let Chan go to the other location with Felix.

“I don’t need that.” You muttered but he ignores you proceeding to take the armor plate and inserts the steel beneath your vest before readjusting the front straps making you grunt.

“Its just the two of us tonight, so we need to be extra careful.” He said now pushing your tied up hair over your shoulder while you still ignores him by checking your own riffles and slings two of it on your both shoulder. You took your hook launcher from your backpack, assembling it in silence as he did too, and when you’re done you stand up walking to the cliff aiming your hook from behind the bush.

“Hey,” Sunwoo pulls your elbow stopping you and your turn your head facing him. “We’re on our own tonight. There wont be any back up since the other is on the same mission in other places.” He said while pulling the cloth on your chin over your nose and he somehow looked anxious, which is rare since he is the one who always been the confident and cocky one. Then it hit you, its true that the division had been a home for you when you're left stranded, but it had been one for each one of them longer than you had been. You feel bad for over reacting the whole week and act like it doesn’t mean anything to them when deep down you know it held the same meaning for them as it did for you. “We sneak in and out in one piece okay?” he said softly, almost pleading and your gaze soften as a small smile grew on your face.

“Copy that captain.” Then a smile grew on his own face as he pat your head. You took a step forward kneeling one knee taking your aim before launching your hook and it penetrates just inch away from the edge of the wall. You then retreat back to the tree attaching your line to the hidden beam that you had plant making sure the line is tight enough.

“Wait you didn’t tell me the plan yet.”

“I don’t make plans Sunwoo. But if you want one, we do just like you said earlier, we sneak in and out one piece.” You smiled under the cloth looking at him who was giving you a quizzical look. “We take whatever document you found and by the way, Eric told me after the hook penetrates the surfaces, the EMP on its tip will be activated and it’ll disable every electronics and power within the perimeters.” And at the moment you finish your words every light that shine from the factory vanished and the only source of light was from the moon.

“Well, we missed that thirty second mark.” You sighed.

“You’ve been planning to raid this entire place all by yourself?” He said when realization finally hit him. He should’ve figure it out when you force Eric and Haknyeon to keep it from him when you sneak the paper away from the strategy room and infiltrate things by your own. You even bring too much weapon to retreat a document.

“They need a warning and we need documents. They’ll figured about us anyway, lets just scare them a little.” You shrugged angling the device that was attached to your line and you glide across the deep gorge leaving him dumbfounded still processing the whole ordeal before he followed suit.

“Remind me not to put you in charge of anything ever again.”

“Too late cap.”

Juyeon zooned out while staring at the small television that was airing a recorded football match while his other team scrambled across the bar, some are flirting with random girls while the other just having fun with their own way. He took a chug of his beer before pushing the empty bottle to the side leaning the middle of his back on the bar as his eyes wanders, deep down hoping that he’ll see your face among the crowd. He turn back facing the bar clasping his hands together scoffing at how he is so used to you being by his side. then the watch he was wearing caught his attention and your clear image appeared inside his mind that cause a smile to creep on his face.

He fished his phone from his pocket and dialled your number then a long sigh escaped his lips when it went straight to mailbox. He place back his phone into his back pocket before leaning forward to the bar calling for the bartender for another bottle of beer. Its the first night aside from the night he went on his mission you weren’t there and he feels somehow. Incomplete.

“You’re not having fun.” Sangyeon leans next to him before sitting on the stool

“Yeah. Haven’t been to any bar for quite some times.” He said chugging his beer eyes still glued to the game.

“Hey that watch. My girlfriend was going to pick that one the other day. Its a limited edition set.” Sangyeon said eyes flickered looking at the watch.

“A fr- Someone gave it to me as a gift.”

“Really? Your girlfriend?” Sangyeon asks and he smiles bashfully. Something that he wish was true instead of just admit it as an excuse or pretending. He somehow wish it was real, you as his girlfriend.

“Juyeon?” He look back when he heard a voice that he just heard recently and saw your cousin approaching him with a smile.

“Chanhee.”

“Its good to see you again.” The man sit on the stool next to him before greeting Sangyeon.

“Where’s Y/N?” Juyeon asks looking around still hoping that he will catch a glimpse of you.

“Oh she’s not with you?” Chanhee asks back with a surprise look before his face turn into annoying one. “Must be soiling up in the jungle. Aish that little shit, she doesn’t even tell her boyfriend.”

“Its fine. She probably forgot.” Juyeon tell him

“she always did that. Next thing you know she’s already home watching tv and drink like a pirate, i don’t even know when does she sleeps.”

“You never call the cops when she’s gone for too long?”

“I did once when she disappeared for two weeks, got a long scolding session later on. So she ended up giving me her office number just in case.”

“Really?” Juyeon smiled with a furrowed brow trying to imagine how would you look when you’re agitated since he only saw the sunny side of you, and it really makes him wonder.

“I know right, she’s weird, that’s why its hard for her to date anyone. You need to have a lot of patience when you’re with her. She really barely been at home. Even now. I really thought dating could change her at least.” Chanhee shakes his head at the thoughts of you while Juyeon just smile at him.

Patience. I’d do it if that what it takes to have you by my side

He silently thoughts. Then he saw Sangyeon spin his stool around as a wide smile appeared on his face. Juyeon then turn around to see the reason of his sudden big smile and when he see it, his smile fades and his heart stops.

“Sihyeon?”

“Y/N, Chanhee hyung called while you’re away last night. He said your boyfriend-” Haknyeon stop talking immediately while his eyes grew wider than it usual are at the sight of you reeked in blood and sweats.

“Here you go.” You place your backpack filled with documents on the table and your equipment down.

“We got few of cpu inside my trunk. You should get it by yourself. I’m tired.” You said while running your finger annoyingly through your sticky hair and some sort of soft slimy substance stuck on your finger, probably a piece of organs which you flap your hands virgously to shake it off your finger causing it to fall on the floor. Eric saw what you did and as he saw the piece of organ on the floor, his face turned into pure disgust and he spit out his coffee back into the cup he was holding.

“You blew someone’s body again didn’t you?” He asks walking carefully towards you to take a closer look at the pieces of red lump on your hair and almost all over your body.

“Kind of.” You said nonchalantly still trying to get those thing off your hair.

“You should see her trunk.” Sunwoo added placing his own equipment on the floor looking a little decent than you are.

“Please don’t tell me the detail, i might skip my meal today.” Eric whined.

“Ew what happened to you?” Changmin ask, looking at you with the same face that Eric just made as soon after he came into the room and you turn to him who was still looking clean as a baby before flapping your hands towards him giggling while he retreat back to the weapon room. But before you could come close, he flicks your forehead hard making you scowl.

“Go clean yourself. You’re stink.” You shot him a deadly look rubbing your sore forehead.

“How can you be so clean. You jerk.”

“I’m sticking with the plan, we sneak in and out not doing whatever you are doing.” He shot you a disgusting look up and down before taking one big step away from you.

“I guess captain couldn’t even stop your little party didn’t he?” He look back to Sunwoo who was looking tired and just shrug you both off taking out the document from his own bag.

“Noona, do you really have a boyfriend?” Haknyeon asks making all eyes in the room darted to you, waiting for you to answer the younger one.

“What do you mean?” You asks nervously, trying to fake a laugh.

“Chanhee Hyung said your boyfriend is looking for you and he also ask why you didn’t tell him you whereabouts.”

“I uh.” You stuttered, trying to find any excuse, any brilliant lies. But since you’re too tired to think after approximately seven hour taking down the whole factory. You just sighs

“Its not a big deal.” You shrugged and walks away to the locker room trying to avoid them from questioning you further.

You were in your full black usual attire that covers your whole form, not even a strand of hair was shown while following Juyeon the next night after ignoring his texts and calls the whole day. You called Chanhee though and he said;

We bumped in the bar last night and I swear he was just sitting at the bar with his guy friend.

It made you just smiled to his words and it somehow made your heart flutter that you didn’t sleep a blink since your mission last night and even now you were looking at his back smiling under your black full mask wishing that he’ll turn around so you could get a glimpse of his face. But then you shake your head to dismiss the thoughts and focus on following him.

His team separated into a few smaller group checking on a few old abandoned shops to look for where they kept the kidnapped teen girls and sells their ovum without their forcefully for a large sum of money to married couple that couldn’t conceive.

You keep your distance and always alert with your surrounding so that none of his team could see you. Then you heard a gunshot that caused your heart to jump hard and rushed to one of the old restaurant where they were with heart beating as fast as your feet.

“Please, not you.” You pleaded before stopping right on the opening of the back door where you could heard a grunt and a sound of ruckus from inside. You peek into the room and saw someone lying on the floor right in the middle of the kitchen while another was nowhere to be found. You squint your eyes to make out his face with the help of the dimmed light from the moon. A relieved sighs escape when it wasn’t Juyeon who was shot.

You heard another gunshot not far from where you were and run inside after confirming the guy was unconscious running to the door that leads to the dining space with your heart beating so loud and your stomach churns. You peek inside and saw nothing, then you run up to the stairs that leads to the second dining room and you stops right on the door and peeked through the small crack on the vandalized door. As expected, you saw two men standing facing each other in high alert. One holding a gunpoint to the one you recognize it as Juyeon. His life was only one pull away from the trigger and you starting to panic. Your eyes franticly trying to look for anything and trying to came up with a plan. You can’t risk exposing yourself to him but you’re running out of time.

“Fuck this.” You muttered before pulling your mask tighter and barge into the room running towards the man who now has his gun pointed to you. A few shots are fired towards you but you duck a little before crashing his body with your shoulder on his stomach and push him out through the window falling from the second floor his back crashing on top of a sedan while you on top of him.

You felt pain all over your front and stayed on that position until he tries to push you off him. You rolled to his side looking up to the window where you’re from and saw Juyeon looking down to you before running to the back. You need to leave before he got down so you push yourself up and slide down the windshield but when your feet reach the ground with you still clutching your abdomen, a woman appeared in front of you pointing a gun towards you, but she wasn’t wearing the same uniform as Juyeon, she was just in her formal attire. A white button up paired with a slacks and a loose coat. Your eyes then falls to her id that hanged on her neck that falls just right on her middle.

Kim Sihyeon

Detective

You push her hands upwards and she was caught off guard with your sudden movements. You shove her body back while your hand swiftly taking away the gun on her hand emptying the gun before dropping it on the ground. You then took a step forward to attack but someone pulled your full mask away making your long hair to fall freely revealing your face to the woman. She was looking straight into your eyes and the only thing that’s on your mind was;

Kill

You grab her neck with one hand choking her hard and she was struggling with your strength trying to peel your hands away from her neck. You took a step forward pushing her backward while she’s still chokes before you heard a gun cocks and you feel a cold hard metal touching the back of your head. She looked behind you with a pleading look.

“Juyeon.” She called making your heart to drop and your heart beat harder.

“Take your hands off her.” You quirk your head to his tone. It somehow sounds personal that you could feel something dark and twisted emerged from the pit of your stomach as your grip on her neck tightens.

to be continued..

#fanfic #action #au #the boyz imagines #the boyz fanfic #agent au #lee juyeon imagines #tbz scenarios #tbz #juyeon imagines #the boyz scenarios #the boyz #tbz au #the boyz juyeon #lee juyeon scenarios #tbz lee juyeon #lee juyeon

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many-gay-magpies · 3 years ago

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@honeyseungz @loabivey so that uh. that mini au that you had like a very small rb thread about yesterday (well over a few days ago now that im posting this). well uh. um . actually you know what im just gonna let you read it yourselves

so. heeseung, jay, and sunoo are all brothers. wether its actual brothers or just "brothers" by blood bond or whatever idk. but, regardless, they're brothers. im thinking that like, at first they aren't vampires, theyre just regular dudes yknow? (and just a forewarning, a lot of this isnt gonna be as compliant with the enhaverse theorizing we've done so far, it's just a little brain worm i wanted to play around with, throwing a little bit of enhaverse crumbs in here and there)

but anyway. they're not vampires, im thinking theyre just like... adopted/found family brothers, probably orphans or something. regardless they love each other a lot and its great. personality-wise everything is super different, but just for plot conveniences, heeseung, jay, and sunoo are the yunmeng trio (heeseung as wwx, jay as jc, and sunoo as jyl respectively), and jungwon is lwj.

the three brothers meet jungwon, probably brought together by this Big Fantasy Evil, maybe something involving the vampire queen as a character? idk. there's some big evil shit going down, and the three brothers somehow end up with jungwon and HIS big bro, who im imagining is jake (basically the lan xichen in this situation—very soft, kind, gentle; the vibes are right). both of them are vampires, not that our three orphan bois know that. they get caught up in the danger, and vampire bros jake and jungwon coms to the rescue.

now, a little bit of personality-mapping here: jay is outwardly very loud, fun, temperamental, and sarcastic, generally very much like he is irl; but inside, he's intensely loyal, protective, and loving, with a HUGE soft spot for the people closest to him. sunoo is very sweet, sensitive, and kind—the walking hug of the three brothers, who is certainly not without his bite and wont hesitate to talk back to anyone who hurts them. aggressively and without mercy. also he makes them soup for comfort and is generally best boy. heeseung is very goofy, playful, free-spirited, and bright, but insecure and sensitive underneath it all; generally a loud annoying mess of a boy. pure chaotic neutral and a gremlin if there ever was one. jungwon, on the other hand, is... not. he's nervous, quiet, cautious to a fault and intensely righteous, always standing up for what's right and refusing to waver from his chosen path. very lawful good vibes. he, naturally, is more than a little put off when jay, sunoo, and heeseung's chaotic ass come crashing into he and his brother jake's once-peaceful (ish) lives. and it doesn't help that heeseung is a... huge flirt, and apparently deadset on making jungwon his friend. fuck.

jungwon... doesn't know what to do. and it would all be so much easier if heeseung were dumb or stupid or unattractive or just a total asshole—but he isnt any of those things. he's beautiful, smart, insanely witty with a brain faster than any jungwon's ever seen—he can't help but admire him. but on top of that, he's wreckless as hell, unpredictable, and pushy, and gives jungwon heart attacks way too much for his liking. he doesn't even have a heartbeat. he's fucking dead.

it eventually comes out that jake and jungwon are vampires; the brothers are surprisingly cool with it. not the craziest thing that's happened to them.

the five boys get closer, staying together as they fight their foe (which im becoming increasingly inclined to make the werewolves), and through a series of convoluted events, jungwon learns that heeseung is not only gorgeous, smart, talented, and funny as all get-out, but also sensitive, caring, insecure, and thoughtful... and heeseung, who's only goal had been to break through the nervous and straightforward outer shell of his young dongsaeng, does just that. and jungwon, naturally, starts to fall in love.

somewhere along the line, though, things go wrong—as they were bound to do in an au loosely based off of the untamed. something happens to heeseung; he's fatally wounded after saving jay's life, and disappears, nowhere to be found. his brothers eventually assume the worse; that he's gone forever. but the queen finds him, takes care of him, nurses him back to health. turns him.

when he comes back, nothing's the same. the war is still going, and his brothers thought he was dead—but he isn't. but he's... different. jungwon and jake are quick to realize that he's been turned, how, they dont know—but they talk to him, teach him, try to help him, jungwon especially. of course he does; he's in love. heeseung, of course, is dismissive; doesn't take it seriously. ill be fine, whats so bad about this? or, perhaps, he doesn't let on just how hard he's taking it; fearing vulnerability more than he fears being a vampire.

inevitably, though, heeseung's wrecklessness leads to doom—he lets his bloodlust overtake him, relishes in it, no matter how much jungwon had warned him against it, pleaded with him to take caution. he says it's usefull—says he can help them take out enemies, help them win this war. jungwon warns him that he could end up getting more than he bargained for. heeseung doesn't listen.

heeseung helps them win the war; practically wins it for them. hes happy, bitterly, until he isnt. he's happy, until he sees his brother—sees sunoo. blood-covered, pale-skinned, drained.

no.

heeseung is broken. jay even moreso. jay yells at him; yells and yells and yells and yells. curses him out, tells him he hates him, tells him he's nothing but cruel evil—he doesn't mean it, of course, but no one knows it then, not even him. now he is only angry; so, so angry. heeseung, wrought with guilt and shame and grief, flees—hides himself somewhere secluded, does the closest thing a vampire can possibly do to death, the equivalent of a thousand-year hibernation. none can find him, he's made sure of that. in his guilt and shame and anger he stews, asleep, for hundreds, thousands of years.

after the anger passes, jay is more than anything in mourning—for heeseung as well as for sunoo. he has a realization, that being that, when, inevitably, heeseung comes back, he doesn't want him to be alone: even if he'll have jungwon and jake, it won't be the same as having his brother. so jay pleads, cries, begs for jungwon to turn him—so that they can search for heeseung together, so that when heeseung comes back, he'll have jay waiting for him, too. so, reluctantly, jungwon gives in and turns jay—after which he helps him deal with his newfound immortality and vampiric status—helping him handle his bloodlust and helping him learn how to feed. over the centuries that heeseung is gone, jay, jungwon, and jake grow even closer (j line eyyy), inseparable as they search for heeseung and even outside of that. jungwon and jay are the closest, jay growing a colossal soft spot for the boy and not hesitating to take him under his wing and protect him with all he has (initially, sort of as a replacement for protecting heeseung, but eventually jay's affection for jungwon grows into something all it's own). to be clear, no love triangle bullshit here, only sickening-sweet platonic soulmates jaywon and a jungwon that is still achingly in love with heeseung.

(okay for anyone thats actually watched cql/read mdzs, yes i KNOW lwj and jc did not get along at all and kind of hated each other but. this is my au i do what i want, and if i want to add soft jaywon into the mix then im fucking going to, goddamnit)

OKAY TIME FOR SOME WACKY SIDE-PLOT MADNESS

so. sunghoon. how does he fit into all this? how does he end up being the one to trigger heeseung's "resurrection"? how does heeseung GET resurrected in the first place? well, not to worry, you're about to find out! and i am too because i'm just figuring this out as i go along baybyyyy

sunghoon, im thinking, is a friend of jake's (lets throw some jakehoon in here too bcs why not), either from before everything went to shit and heeseung went and isolated himself, or sometime during the numerous centuries jakewon spent looking for heeseung with jay. either way, sunghoon is this boy who jake is friends with and cares about a lot, and is also maybe kind of in love with. while jaywon spend most of their time looking for heeseung, jake spends his with sunghoon—finding himself often alone, now that his little bother is going off on his own adventures.

in a situation quite similar to heeseung's, sunghoon probably gets fatally injured somehow and is near death, but jake, not wanting him to die, decides to turn him instead. niki is also involved, and it's a sort of package deal, because before meeting jakewon, heeseung, and everyone, they were their own little thing; not unlike jay, heeseung, and sunoo's brother's triad. they were both probably orphans, niki being the much younger one, and as such sunghoon took him under his wing and never looked back. when jake turned sunghoon, niki was basically like "m8 what the fuck" and demanded he be turned too, not wanting his sunghoon-hyung to live on forever while he grew old and died. jake, also having a soft spot for niki, was like "fine alright" and turned him too. so, now their little vampire coven numbered five, and all was (moderately) well.

or not.

the thing was, jake hadn't anticipated how powerful sunghoon would be—there's nothing in life that anyone's found yet that would indicate a person's level of power once turned, so jake had... pretty much no way to see this coming. but, anyway, sunghoon was... really, really powerful. like, insanely powerful. all the abilities vampires were said to have in legends, the likes of which were previously reserved for just legends, he had them; flawless teleportation, mind control, shape-shifting, the whole bit. and on top of that, he was controlled—insanely good at monitoring himself and keeping tabs on his own instincts. one of the most self-sufficient, well-mannered vampires jake had ever seen. it was... frankly insane.

the problem? the queen. this is where she comes in, because she's played a part in all the boys' transformations, albeit indirectly—when jake and jungwon first turned, it was she who turned them. she could sense sunghoon's power, and she wanted it for herself. jake and jungwon had done well at avoiding her, even forgetting about her for a while; but what she wanted, she took, and take she did. it was sunghoon she took: luring him to her in small increments and then all at once, taking control of him, turning him into a mindless puppet. sunghoon had always prided himself in control, and without it, havoc wreaked: bodies dropping left and right, people being killed seemingly at random, their only purpose being to instill fear and paranoia.

now, niki had heard tales, before, from his hyungs but also from regular townspeople to whom the legend had gotten passed down, of heeseung, and how great and terrible he was. heeseung, the townspeoples' folktales said, had been insane, unstoppable: a mad genius far too gone for redemption. niki also knew from his hyungs' fond stories that heeseung, more than evil, was kind and caring; he was loyal, and powerful in his loyalty, and niki thought that if anyone could save his sunghoon-hyung, it was heeseung.

so niki went on a journey. without telling jaywon or anyone else (and thus causing quite the panic), he spent years searching for heeseung, everywhere jaywon had thought to look and everywhere they hadn't, and twice more for good measure. and, by some stroke of luck, either due to his own sheer force of will of something else entirely, niki found him: locked away in an old castle that never quite seemed to stay put, constantly phasing in between realities. it made sense why no one had found him before then—he didn't want to be found. desperately, in fact.

but niki, too, was desperate. he enacted a ritual that was said (by jake, so of course it was to be trusted) to wake any vampire that had gone into hibernation, and, miracles continuing to work for the bitter young boy, it worked. heeseung awoke—startled to find himself staring into the face of a very teary, very angry (visibly) sixteen-year-old.

confusion passed, things and motives were explained, and heeseung (although bitter at having been woken up, and still riddled with enough guilt to last 1500 lifetimes) attempted to patiently tell niki that he had no fucking idea how to help sunghoon whatsoever. niki pretty much said "well you better fucking find a way because you're not going back to sleep now, the world's about to fucking end. also jay and jungwon-hyung have been looking for you for literal centuries, do you know how pissed theyd be if i went out looking for you, found you, then came back empty-handed? really fucking pissed is how much. also sad. did i mention sad?" and heeseung, notoriously weak and also kind of (read: very) in love, is just like "...jungwon? jay?"

so niki brings heeseung back to the others, the return journey taking a long enough time that the two become significantly close to each other, heeseung's long-forgotten big brother instincts (tm) kicking in around the younger vampire. niki has to basically drag heeseung out of the castle by his teeth, because as much as he misses his brother and jungwon, he's still so incredibly guilty, and completely convinced that he isnt worth love or life whatsoever and that jay still hates his guts. and, jungwon... he doesn't even want to think about jungwon. how he failed him. how he let him down. but, niki slowly works through the insecurities, bit by bit: assuring heeseung that, no, even though jay will definitely rip him a new one once he sees him again, he'll also cry and hug him for at least 24 hours because he misses him like hell and heeseungie hyung you have no idea.

they weather a lot together. storms, mental breakdowns, bouts of blood-starvation so severe heeseung thinks he'll lose it again: but they're there for each other. they hunt, talk, keep each other warm, and in it, form an unbreakable bond. niki had heard tales of the legendary lee heeseung, who wiped out entire armies in two seconds flat and comforted his friends when they were sad and annoyed jay to the very ends of the earth: but what he's faced with is a man with more insecurities than niki has hairs on his head—and he has a lot of hairs on his head.

by the time they make it back to the coven's home, heeseung has grown sufficiently attached to the enigma that is niki, and has almost completely but it out of his mind that he's here for his old friends, too. he's only doing this for niki: it's a fact he's comfortable with. so when they reach the front steps he just... freezes.

i have a very clear image of it in my head—jungwon, jay, and jake sense niki's presence, in some weird vampire-y way. it's been around 10, 15 years since he left at this point, so of course they rush out to greet him, ready with scoldings and lashings about how stupid he had been (after, of course, making sure he's unharmed and alright)—but it all dies on their tongues as soon as they see who's with him.

frozen. everything is frozen.

i imagine it's a lot like lulu and artzyy's post. jungwon is the first to move, stepping forward and whimpering out a broken "hyung", and all heeseung's guilt and avoidance is forgotten in favor of cradling jungwon to his chest, holding him close and whispering reassurances into the crown of his head, wonnie, im so sorry, hyung's so sorry; i didn't mean to leave you for so long, i'm here now, its okay. and of course then jay comes in, crying and screaming about how the fuck is it okay, how can it ever be okay, how could you just not mean to leave us alone for 1500 years?! how the fuck do you just expect to waltz back into our lives like nothing ever happened and pretend its all okay?!? and then he hits him, and hurts him, tries to make him feel even an inkling of the hurt he was made to feel for the past fifteen hundred years—but then punching him turns into fisting hands into the back of his shirt and sobbing into his neck and holding him so tight he wouldn't be able to breath if he had the need to and please, please don't leave, why would you leave, you asshole, why did you leave?

so yeah. things happen. reunions are had, tears are shed. some indirect heewon love confessions probably happen later on in the form of very intense devotions of life and self and all that. "walking on the single-log bridge in the dark really isnt so bad" you know the whole shbang. meanwhile jay salty in the background just like "cant you just say you love each other like normal human beings jesus fucking christ"

jayseung's relationship (or the reigniting of it) is, well, rocky. they're both conflicted—jay even more than heeseung. because, the thing is, heeseung killed sunoo. as regretful as he is, that doesn't make it any easier to forget. but he's back, and alive, and in one piece, and he isn't leaving, and jay knows it wasn't really his fault, he wasn't in control—but he killed him. he killed their brother. and it WAS his own stupid fault for losing control in the first place, for not listening to jungwon, so what the hell is jay supposed to think? he flip-flops between being intensely grateful that heeseung is back and okay and finally with them again, and then remembering what he's done, giving him the cold shoulder and not speaking to him for hours on end. and all the while, heeseung is riddled with guilt, and shame, and grief he'd suppressed for far too long; niki's stubbornness combined with jungwon's unwavering support being the only things keeping him from bolting into oblivion all over again. all in all, it's a difficult time—but they get there. eventually.

naturally, they save sunghoon. what else is there to do? they defeat the queen, break her control over their friend—and then jakehoon have their own teary reunion, not unlike heewon's, and sungki have theirs, not unlike jayseung's (although with a... considerable decrease in cursing and conflicted emotions, and a lot more immediate sobbing). they're a mess—sunghoon is traumatized, heeseung is traumatized, jay and niki are traumatized, they're all just fucking traumatized. jayseung will probably take a long time to get back to the way they once were, if it's even possible—there'll always be an empty space there, something gone, something missing, and it's one that can't be filled. jungwon barely lets heeseung out of sight or touch alike, and heeseung isn't much better off. jay's always been the more touchy one out of the three of them; but after years of missing, of longing, there's plenty of time to be made up, and heeseung is just... so, so soft, and warm, and being held by him is the loveliest thing jungwon's ever known.

AND NOW A SUNOO THING, BECAUSE THE IDEA OF ENHA LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER AS OT6 WITH SUNOO JUST FUCKING DEAD DOES. NOT WORK FOR ME

so like. sunoo isn't dead, or he doesn't stay dead, or not the soulless-unmoving kind of dead anyway. you know how necromancy and fierce corpses exist in donghua and shit? well they exist here too because fuck you and also i said so. i made myself sad and now im making it happy again goddamnit.

anyway. after he dies, sunoo gets found by the queen, too, and because she's all-powerful and whatnot she fucking necromances him—figures he'll be useful later. as he is, though, he's basically nothing more than a puppet; like wen ning and song lan were when they were being controlled. his soul isn't... gone exactly, just imprisoned, prevented from being able to come forward and command his body.

so. sunoo is still partially alive, and the boys (jay, jake, jungwon, sunghoon, niki, and whatnot)... don't know that. i imagine that for pretty much the entirety of the centuries that heeseung is gone, sunoo's status as a necromanced fierce corpse goes entirely unknown to them, and it's only after heeseung is brought back by niki that he starts to resurface. i imagine they realize it in a sort of tense, action-filled scenario: the boys have gone to investigate another attack, thinking it's sunghoon, but as it turns out the queen has had TWO undead corpses running around doing her dirty work instead of one. and one of them is sunoo.

heeseung and jay, of course, are stunned. they cant believe it's real; it isn't real, it can't be—and yet.

a lot of angsty plot stuff happens—i dont have the energy or enough shits to give to figure out what. the thing is, the queen only kept sunoo this long and brought him out as a tactic to lure heeseung, make him weaker; and it probably worked. in the midst of both fighting against sunghoon and fighting to SAVE sunghoon, heeseung is bent on saving sunoo as well, and there's probably a lot of very angsty talk wherein there are disagreements about who's life, really, is more important in this situation, and if heeseung is just trying to make up for what he did to sunoo. regardless, heeseung ends up saving sunoo and bringing his soul back to the surface. what he doesn't expect is for sunoo to forgive him—fully and wholeheartedly. and it feels wrong, because no, you should be angry with me, you should hate me and want to hurt me like i hurt you; but sunoo is just... happy. happy that he's back, happy that heeseung is back, happy that they're all together again. and its conflicting, to say the least. even moreso because sunoo isnt stupid—he didnt just act like heeseung was an innocent who did no wrong; he knew he had been wreckless, knew he was at fault, and he forgave him still. loved him still. that was something heeseung... hadn't been prepared for.

like i said in the last part, they save sunghoon; how, im not sure, but they save him, probably with a fair bit of sunoo's help, and they're together again. only the tiny difference here is that sunoo is with them too. sunoo is back, and the gang has yet another undead bestie to teach the ropes of being a vampire to. things are awkward, obviously, especially between the original brother's trio of heeseung, sunoo, and jay; because sunoo is his usual sweet and kind self while jay believes that he should be more angry at heeseung for killing him, heeseung agrees, and jay has some very conflicted feelings about how self-depricating his hyung is being (because like... yeah you killed sunoo and im supposed to hate you but you're not supposed to hate yourself, you idiot, what the fuck?)

(also like. if we're gonna take some more crumbs from cql canon here im gonna go ahead and say sunoo's death was at least somewhat self-sacrificial, even if it was heeseung that ended up causing it in the end)

(i kind of love how jiang cheng-y i made enhaverse jay here to be honest)

(okay this has been in my drafts WAY too long because ive been waiting for some miraculous Other Detail i need to add to pop up in my mind, but honestly i can just add anything else i think of in a reblog afterwards, this bitch just needs to see the light of day)

#magpie thoughts #magpie writes #??? kind of ???#enhaverse #enhaverse theories #ALSO kind of???#enhaverse writing #enhaverse aus #the untamed/cql #the untamed spoilers #idk but just to be safe ig .

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onf-headcanons · 4 years ago

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ONF MEMBERS AS YOUR SIBLING (MK & U version)

OMG I AM VERY VERY LOOKING FORWARD TO WRITE THIS PART!!!!!

Either you are related from Yuto or Minkyun side and either one of them later joined the family. Confusing? OK example you are Yuto’s sibling by blood and then later Minkyun joined. Or in reversed, Yuto joined later.

1. You are the youngest sibling (could be in terms age when the family comes together or you being born later OR stand in of Yuto’s youngest sister)

2. You are the middle sibling, being either Yuto’s elder blood sibling or Minkyun’s younger sibling but is older than Yuto.

3. Or you are the eldest (Good luck if you do lol there will be a lot of face palming), and alot of “Yuto, I thought you are on my side????”

Any scenario that is suitable to your own imagination. Also there will be some repeated ideas from first universe because i would like to keep characterization consistency.

Btw this pair of sibling would be one of the noisiest.

My recommendation, you are the middle sibling. But you can totally imagine that your are younger ones. I will try to elaborate both, I hope i won’t confuse you guys🙈

Also age recommendations, Minkyun born in 1995 while Yuto is 1999, so if you are the middle sibling, your birth year is at between. I would prefer as 1997 or 1998. Preferable that 1997 born if you are Yuto’s sibling, while 1998 born if you are Minkyun’s.

If you are the youngest, either you are same age as Yuto but later birthdate or the 3rd child that born after your parents marriage, in this case, 2 years younger than Yuto and 6 years younger than Minkyun.

Heads up I mentioned in the Hyojin & E-tion household, 3 households in this universe are very close to each other.So, apologies in advance and by all means there is not explicit favoritism (I did wrote about household interacting for previous universes). It just convenient and i felt we can use it this way. Also, Minseok is Yuto’s classmate.

General headcanons

Yuto family moved to Korea when he is still a toddler. So he speaks Korean outside and Japanese back home. Because his family speaks in Kansai dialect, Yuto picks up that dialect automatically

Of course it could be Yuto’s family moved to Korea when he is at middle school age as well, it can be flexible.

Minkyun struggling to learn Japanese but then give up. But it never stops him to randomly drops in weird Japanese when he is hyper, and then leaving Yuto （and you）facepalming because Minkyun used it wrongly

Actually even though mature but super sensitive brothers. Well in very different ways. But should you live with them long enough, you pick up that intuitively

I dont think this family will have alot of fight because both are sensitive in nature and deeply scare to hurt each other. So this family is all about giving out mental security to family members as well.

(its very different from MInseok Yuto household, because them 2 are in same age, so there is less factor to consider, while Yuto would have to put in Minkyun being a hyung when he started to get used to Minkyun’s existence. And Minkyun will sometimes, not in a bad way, being to passionately and freeminded hoping the younger one to open up more)

I mean, Yuto is defo the tsundere one while Minkyun radiates big puppy energy for this pair chemistry.

Loud

Bonus, Yuto never knew Minkyun can be that clingy lol XD

Minkyun never knew Yuto can be such a fan towards his weird antics XD He thought Yuto wont get his joke due to cultural differences, but turns out Yuto loves it (well cause mostly is body gag/ mom gaegu, like you see what Minkyun did during his birthday’s mini game heaven in 2020, that suddenly motor engine starting? Ya that is total epic lol )

Its super harmonious? like this family combi does not shy away on expressing hey i need help and family members super volunteer to help out if needed. (not that i mean other family does not help out each other, but this one is particularly doing it with super high tendency)

Due to Japanese background, Yuto might try to settle things on his own, but Minkyun will break that mindset stereotype and helps him out (like why you think it is a hassle for me? Ask for help if needed that is what family is here for.)

Minkyun playing guitar while singing and that is how your family know if he is at home or not.

Yeap in this universe Minkyun is a songwriter while Yuto is a dance coach and dancer (later when they all grow up, BTW i am thinking that Yuto and Minseok runs a dance academy later on.)

Minkyun is also part time sponsor/volunteer at pet shelter. In the end you and Yuto also are familiar faces at the spot.

Also, hanging out being little part timers at Baskin Robbins lol

OH IF WANNA TRULY LINK EVERYTHING FOR UNIVERSE 3, BASKIN ROBBINS being the main meetup/setup point. Jaeyoung is Minkyun’s friend so he would always drop by to have ice cream. While Changyoon could be doing a part time job there before and while occasionally drop by when he is nearby.

welp they all live in the neighbourhood/same city in this universe so they all coincidentally bump at each other very often.

Either Yuto joining a school dance club or a dance academy so there is where he met Minseok. (Who is a really curious kid who also look up to Yuto and Yuto also look up to him, cos dance talents)

(for this part I wont be talking about how Minkyun snuggling cat snacks cos its repeating what I wrote.)

Scenario 1

If you are related with Yuto and Minkyun is the new join

Could you be are extroverted and you kind off help Yuto to get close to Minkyun

You and Yuto would find this new brother fascinating. He looks quiet at the beginning but later he will prove you both wrong

But when Minkyun is his serious mode, you will feel strange towards that too, because how can he has such large gap

i thinking its super cute and funny that if you and Yuto both gets intimidated at Minkyun’s height lol

It will be fun if Yuto has a denial stage aka hard time opening up to accept it because he is cautious, but you just bluntly accept it and joins Minkyun. It shows difference between personality of related blood siblings lol

IF actually you and your blood brother are introvertedly fun, Minkyun’s existence will be the key to spark both of your dork traits. It is a assuring factor for your parents that you 3 hang out very well.

its not like your family never heard Yuto laughed, but ever since Yuto and Minkyun opened up and gets close, Yuto is laughing alot.

you and Yuto both asking MInkyun for help when you two could understand some Koreans. But since Minkyun fools around 50:50, you two ends up googling or just straight up asking your friends

But if it is homework/grammar wise, Minkyun will really really explain it to you.

Minkyun also get close towards Yuto’s classmate, Minseok. I think a few times, you did not join, but the boys went out to roam the streets to feed stray cats/animals.

Bonus if in this hc, and you are younger than Yuto, and you have a crush on Minseok. Minkyun picks it up and would wanna help out but you told him to keep still XD

you three gonna be game buddies for sure lol

Scenario 2

If you are related with Minkyun and Yuto is the new joined / OR my preference, Yuto being the home stay student, and your family ends up unofficially adopts a Japanese sibling since Yuto continues his homestay contract with your family.

You and Minkyun thought Yuto is a bit distant in the beginning, and you three overwork your brains on trying too hard not to do something impolite towards each other culture.

But you and Minkyun would be surprise at how Yuto is so adapted to Korean culture later on.

Could be you are similarly shy like Yuto and need time to open up. This time Minkyun will be the one to open up first and slowly helps you.

Minkyun would suggest 3 of you to hang out at pet shelter. It does help.s

hould it is the homestay hc, I do see your family and Yuto’s family going along very well. Occasionally showing up to greet Yuto’s family during Skype session.

As Minkyun is the one who gave up, you are the one who would pick Japanese up later on. It gave Minkyun a shock when you and Yuto casually switching Japanese and Korean (with you amateur Japanese, but its already enough to give Minkyun a fright)

He might pout a bit, thinking/semi blaming himself a bit for not putting more effort to try to manifest the tool get close with Yuto. But then will throw the worry aside because its not really that important. Because he understands that its not like he and Yuto could not communicate anyways.

if it is the student hc, This could be when you and Minkyun are still high shcool-ers/ middle school-ers. And your school opens for foreigns students.

Minkyun being a bit worried because of he is 95er and Yuto a 99er. But when one day he sees Minseok come to visit, he goes: “ OMG thank goodness, I was so worried that he could not get along with classmate.”

Yuto just sidelining his hyung lol like chill dude, I interacts just fine ok. Don’t worry.

(maybe Minseok comes to pass homework for Yuto because Yuto was sick and Minseok know the address.)

Similar to above, should you are Minkyun’s younger sibling, he can picks up that you have a crush on Minseok too.

Scenario 3

If you are the child that born later from your parents marriage

Them both flustered when they first meet the baby you.

Idk why for this hcs, I felt that age gap will be wider, as Yuto and Minkyun’s parents come together when them both are more older than other hcs. My age range idea is Yuto is about 10 or 13 while Minkyun is 14 or 17.

So, also I do think them both had a fight with parents, especially the mom because of her decision to get pregnant at older age. But quickly reconciled, they are just worried, no bad intentions.

Because they are more grown compared to other hcs for this scenario, they help out on babysitting even more and even practical.

Minkyun basically is just like a young flustered dad while Yuto is the calmer one. But sometimes when the baby you throws a tantrum because you specifically wanted mommy, cues in both Minkyun and Yuto flustered.

Also, Minkyun being funny but you are unbothered, 3 seconds later, it was Yuto who could not hold in and burst out laughter.

You might be the one who pick up the language. And because you master both language, maybe later on your career pick would be interpreter

Rather than Yuto gets confused with language, you are the one who gets confused with language in the beginning lol

It only got better when Yuto decided that you should speak Japanese with him and Korean with Minkyun in the household.

Minkyun is gonna let his baby young sibling ride him, and he will do his iconic either elephant or horse voice imitations.

(super funny bonus, if you are scared of that when you are a baby, but it got better later on.)

A/N I will stop here because I dont wanna write repetitive stuffs

#onf #onf headcanon #onf headcanons #onf imagine #onf imagines #onf scenarios #onf scenario #sibling!au #sibling!onf #mk #u #onf mk #onf u #mizuguchi yuto #park minkyun

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trunkzbriefs · 4 years ago

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Any Son and/or Briefs family headcanons? Spicy hot takes? Truths Toriyama and Toyotaro themselves can not handle? Straight up lies?

GODDAMN SORRY this took a while cause i suck at putting thoughts together. i apologize for my obvious briefs bias i have more hcs for them than the son family despite loving them both :pensive: anyway heres some random stuff

briefs hcs:

all of the briefs are pros at non-verbal communication. i hc that saiyans have their own language (and also in my own Mind Canon they still have their fuckin tails) and a lot of it is done through tail movement/body posture/grunts/etc. etc so theyve all sort of picked that up. even bulma, who doesnt have a tail, is pretty good at getting across what she means without actually speaking. they still do speak normally but it comes in handy sometimes considering that both trunks and vegeta are prone to running out of speaking energy or getting very frustrated with words, so having another way to communicate works very well for them

vegeta is fffffffffffffffffffurry. without getting too deep into my own General Saiyan hcs (thats why i made a whole ass four subspecies!!) i think that the entirety of planet vegeta tended to be very hot aside from the part where the castle was, where the temperature would drop. meaning that saiyans working in the palace would grow thicker fur around certain parts of their body, and in the royal saiyans theyd be Especially fluffy. he kept it down on earth, but he has thick patches of fur around the bottom parts of his arms and legs. kind of like snowy boots and gloves! he also has fur that grows in on his neck like a lions mane.

future trunks is an actions sponge, vegeta is a words sponge. vegeta will pick up words VERY quickly regardless if he fully understands the meaning of it or not (completely inspired by 'THATS RIGHT BOYS... MONDO COOL' in z) and future trunks will unintentionally mimic the actions of people - around people he looks up to he might take a few small mannerisms from but this extends to copying the disposition of anyone; he's just very adaptive. this is the most obvious (and funniest) when he's around vegeta bc it really shows like. yeah damn that sure is vegeta's son

vegeta & bulla have an intimidating bastard smirk naturally. their natural smiles are pretty frightening and they have to put effort into a 'normal' one. this also extends to current trunks, his default smile is the Vegeta Bastard Smirk but he learned to have a normal smile quicker than his father and sister. future trunks has a slightly unnerving natural smile (the fact that his pupils are always drawn so fucking small makes me hc that he just has a very intimidating look of 'cat thats about to pounce on an unfortunate trapped mouse' whenever he smiles) but he learned to look normal even quicker than current trunks since he's around humans a Lot and is sort of their uh, Hope. don't want to look scary to the people who depend on you!

bulma has some fighting knowledge and mildly good ki control. vegeta taught her it as a just in case so that she'd be able to defend herself against Bigger threats if he wasn't there and also so she could raise her own ki to alert someone to her if she had to.

vegeta is extremely clean and can not stand to have things disorganized for more than like... an hour before he has to tidy everything up. every time he goes down to the lab and bulma is passed out in a pile of bolts and circuit boards it kills him inside just a little bit

future trunks has little concept of power control. since his timeline was always in danger it wasn't really an important thing for him to learn. the amount of mugs he's accidentally crushed is impressive

vegeta tends to not sound like he's asking questions when he is. he doesn't add the proper infliction to the end of his questions and just sounds flat most of the time. it's confusing to people who dont know him well.

im not even gonna lie, im a BIG fan of the chill demon panchy headcanon so i love the idea that the briefs have a Lil bit of demon in them but just dont know it ghjnkm

[banging my fists on the 'hcs that not even got could take away from me' table] future trunks has OCD

vegeta doesn't really get labels but he's bisexual & "debatably a man", bulma is bisexal & bigender transfem (sometimes shes Wamen and other times its like "gender? no"), bulla is a nonbinary lesbian, current trunks is a bisexual trans man & future bulma forgot to explain the concept of gender and sexuality to future trunks so he's a little confused on that front and his gender & sexuality are "i have literally never thought abt these concepts in my life but i think men are nice. i refuse to think about gender though" (i actually have two main hcs for future trunks which are either gay trans man or more-feminine-presenting nonbinary bisexual)

son hcs:

goku is Not as fluffy as vegeta at all, but he does have fur on certain parts of his body. namely on the back of his elbows + ankles, down his back connecting to his tail, and on his shoulders. its inherented from gine!

gohan is learning saiyan language from vegeta! vegeta acts grumpy about it but he's glad to have someone to teach. when gohan learned that most of the history had been lost he basically wished shenron for a big ol book on saiyan culture and gave it to vegeta just as an act of kindness and vegeta was like [in an angry voice but very touched] "Ok. Sit down. You're learning." by extension gohan is also teaching the rest of his family!

i will take ox king being actually non-human to my grave so like, chichi has horns and a very short ox tail! gohan and goten both have horns, but they're hidden by hair. goten's horns are bigger than gohans.

goten also has a more ox-like tail, with a little puff of fur at the end. generally, gohan looks more saiyan-like and goten looks more ox/human-like.

although he keeps up his cheery demeanor very well, goku is still haunted pretty badly by like... everything that’s happened in his life. he still has frequent nightmares about cell & buu specifically.

gohan will freak out at worse, zone out at best, if he's even tapped on the neck. it reminds him of the whole 'getting his neck snapped on namek' so that area is pretty off limits to everyone

goten gets along really well with android 17. they both have a love for nature and 17s kind of like his chill uncle, so whenever he gets too stressed out or just needs a break you can find him face down on the ground outside of 17's place on monster island.

goku is really really good at remembering completely random shit. bulma uses this to her advantage whenever she's working and has him memorize random technology stuff. a week later goku can not remember what he had for breakfast that morning but as soon as bulma asks "hey do you remember what i told you last week" hes like "oh yeah sure i have no idea what it means but [blurts out three hours worth of technical garble]"

oh boy is this a headcanon that has a lot more depth to it than just a bullet on a tumblr post, but gohan has DID!

goku, like vegeta, doesnt get labels either, and does not even Try, ask him about any of it and hes like "i dont get the gender thing but i think lots of people look nice :)" gohan is gay and like vegeta, "debatably a man", goten + chichi are both bi nonbinary, & pan is a lesbian trans woman.

both:

bulla and pan are both into music! i think theyd mess around making their own stuff w/ launchpads

i have a general hc of ki mixing or shielding, essentially, if youre close enough to someone people wont be able to tell apart your ki and you can also 'shield' someone with your ki for a small amount of time. if vegeta has his energy low, his and bulma's energy are the same. same thing with goku and chichi! goten and trunks are near impossible to tell apart, and same thing with gohan and videl.

though goten and trunks are both protective over their younger siblings, gotenks is that protectiveness times a thousand. look at bulla or pan wrong for 2 seconds and you're going to have an angry gotenks in your face asking if you have any last words. i like to think that trunks and goten fused casually a lot, especially around the time where bulla and pan were young, so its basically goten and trunks own attachment to them PLUS gotenks' attachment to them as his own person combined.

i like to pretend end of z did not happen the way it did so uub, using nimbus, travels back and forth a lot. goku isn’t the only one who teaches him how to fight as goten, gohan and trunks all think of him like a little brother and love training with him!

fuck you letters to toriyama/toyotaro hot takes:

cell, as cool of a villian as he is, definitely should have had a creepier final form. or multiple- just something that really drives in the fact that he's made up of other's dna & fuckin ABSORBS people. also his first two forms should have had a different absorbtion method other than the tail thing (not the drinking thing thats fine) it just feels. Weird. not good

it would have been far more interesting to keep the bitter attitude towards vegeta that future trunks had imo... in super trunks was going through a Lot granted but the fact tht he wasnt more confrontational to vegeta being a dick to him seemed kind of off considering his attitude in z i just.. think it would be interesting and far better if they had more of a back and forth 'family but lowkey hate each other' relationship

i dont want to rant about super so heres some super condensed takes, goku black arc specific because thats 90% of what ive seen of super:

mai is a fucking freak ass weirdo, why did they not just make another character to pair with trunks

trunks not flipping the fuck out at his timeline being erased feels... out of character. also trunks deserved the win against zamasu

future bulma did NOT need to die

trunks should have just stayed in the current timeline

please fucking let trunks and goten grow up. we SAW a version of trunks who looked 14 (history of trunks....) and the versions of goten & trunks we have r/n in super do not look 13/14 respectively what in the goddamn hell is going on in the character design department

super definitely should have taken place later down the line

supers version of bulma and videl look awful. why are they That stick like.

vegeta needs to kill frieza. just once.

fu has enough potential to be a very interesting mainline character and i am so sad he's not

i would actively enjoy a sdbh anime with more budget that isnt just a promo anime and has a plot that makes sense... i think db should have more wild spinoffs

xenoverse deserved a better story that went FULL in on the 'what if' type of timelines- like they did in raging blast which is a FUCKING GREAT GAME

straight up lies:

dragon ball z is a good series

#yes db is my hyperfix. that doesnt mean its good <3 but its mine now and i make whatever i want canon #long post #fleetinginterest

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unsettledink · 4 years ago

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(Part two of looking back at the fandoms I was in and the fics I wrote in 2020)

(Part one here.)

Most popular story:

By Kudos (and comments), Seiche : By hits, Indefensible : On tumblr, Pocket Change

Story you wish was more successful:

Well, that’s kind of the curse of writing rare pairs. I want anything with Tony/Quentin or Peter/Quentin to be more successful, lol. Defining the feeling of success in fandoms/pairings like that is tricky, because— do I wish they’d gotten more attention? Of course! Do I consider them fairly successful because they got any attention? Yeah, kinda.

Something like Intent got very little response, but considering the size and age of the fandom, it actually felt successful to get any response?

The entire Old Adages series I really wish had found an audience; I’m very fond of it, and it’s… softer than I usually write? The filthy smutty kinky stuff always outpreforms anything else, and that sort of thing feels easy for me. And I’m extrapolating a lot for young Quentin’s characterization, so I’m a little insecure about that as well.

Most "Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story:

You know, there are several stories I feel like should be that? But let’s be honest, considering what I’ve written in the past, they’re not that bad.

So I’m going to have to go with Creepy Crawly. I mean, I get squicked a little if I read it in the wrong mindset. SPIDERS D:

Hardest story to write:

Causality. I just… could not quite connect somehow. I had the image in my head fine, but when I went to write it I felt pretty meh. I think I hadn’t done much (any?)Peter POV at that point, so that was a stretch. And I think I’d been spending so much time in the world of Gotcha that any other version of Peter/Quentin felt strange. I got it done, I have a sequel planned, but it was a struggle.

No Lies was also tricky. I picked the prompt ‘make-up’ because I had this crystal clear mental image of someone kneeling, crying, makeup smeared all over them. But I didn’t know WHO. I tried so many pairings and characters, and even when I figured out that I really wanted that to be Tony… who with? Could I actually make Peter behaving that way believable?? Once I got it sorted out the writing was easy, but getting there - gah.

Easiest story to write:

Indefensible was bizarre to write, because it literally just arrived in my brain in one giant chunk, complete, and I just had to transcribe it over a day or two. Very odd.

Pocket Change was much the same. The idea appeared and that first image of Tony holding the bill was just… there. The rest of it fell into place so easily as I went along.

Most fun story to write:

Just a Bite was a lot of fun to write. It’s a topic I enjoy anyway, and I like trying to focus in on one element like that. Peter discovering a new thing he liiiiikes is always a ton of fun.

11:59 was also surprisingly fun? Like— three characters that have interesting dialogue patterns, a slightly darker Tony, being able to indulge in nasty Quentin without him being quite a villain, the constant shifting of emotions for everyone in the room. Just so much going on in small ways. There are totally at least three more fics set in that universe.

What’s your personal favorite thing you wrote this year?

Tough call, but probably A Perfect Fit. Really, the entire insane little universe that’s expanding into. Definitely not something I would have expected at ALL back in January.

What’s your least favorite thing you wrote this year?

Maybe Can’t, Wont? Idk. I didn’t have a strong enough idea for the prompt to really make something of it, I guess. And writing Peter/Quentin is kind of difficult at the moment. It feels weird because I’ve spent so much time in the world of Gotcha that other takes on the characters are odd.

If you could go back and change something about one of the fics you wrote this year, what would it be?

Probably Want What I Want. I knew what I wanted and I just couldn’t quite make it function. So I went with a slantwise version of it - which isn’t bad, but doesn’t have the focus I wanted it to. It felt like more of a twist on the prompt than I wanted. I’d like to go back and expand it out, dig into the specifics of the prompt a little more.

And tbh, I got a comment on that very point. I’m normally really good about letting go of comments? But it was something I’d questioned myself, so it stuck more.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

(Just) Waiting Around? Maybe? As much as I love top/experienced!Peter, I had to sit down and figure out how I might be able to actually get him there, convince the reader that this was a Peter that current Peter could become.

And any of the Tony/Quentin fics. There’s not a lot given for Quentin in canon; taking those little bits and trying to follow them back to these younger version of Quentin was really interesting and difficult. How do I make this character the softer, more open, more vulnerable, less confident version of himself from 10/15 years ago, and still keep those sharper edges that will grow and take over? How do I make the reader believe both that this version could have existed and that version could actually become the canon one?

Story that was most different from what you usually write:

I mean, Relief? I’ve never written het before (and probably never will again, lol), but I wasn’t going to let the chance to write redwings pass me by.

In general, all the freaking ABO. Which I’d never written before this fandom, though I’ve read tons of it. Not something I really expected to write? And then suddenly I’m not just writing it, I can’t seem to stop.

Sustain felt pretty different, and it took me a moment to figure out why (don’t laugh at me!). I’ve never written straight up non-sexual kink before. Not just a kink scene that doesn’t have sex, but a kink scene that doesn’t even have the intention or desire for sex. Completely removing that additional layer of tension and complications is fascinating. I’m really interested in expanding that verse.

Most unintentionally telling story:

Oh, other than Gotcha, lol? Um. I don’t know if any really are? Maybe Backhand, or Sustain. Hmm, maybe Getting Started, though it’s not finished.

Now I wonder what conclusions those have people drawing.

What’s your favorite piece of description or narration?

Oh my god, what an impossible question. Uh. This is difficult because I… think of images in words? I feel very odd about the bits I picked, Idk.

It’s so small, and I don’t know if I captured it as well as it is in my head, but I come back to it so often:

Stark sits on the bed, and then seems to get lost, or distracted, not moving again until Phil pushes him gently towards the middle of the bed. He gets Stark curled up on his side, just a sliver of his back touching the sheets.

There's a chair against the wall that doesn't look too modern, so hopefully more comfortable than most of the monstrosities around here; Phil has a feeling he's going to be here a while, watching Stark come back up. He stands, about to walk away when there's a soft touch on his hand. He looks down.

Stark's arm is stretched out, his fingers just barely resting on the back of Phil's hand. He's looking up at Phil out of the corner of his eyes, head just barely turned towards him. It's a clear a request as anything spoken; stay.

"I'm not leaving," Phil tells him. "I'm not even leaving the room. I was just going to get a chair.'

There's a breath, a hesitation, Stark's hand not leaving his, and then it's gone, Stark dragging it back in, turning his face into the pillow. That was the wrong response, something about it was just... wrong.

"Stark," Phil says, leaning onto the bed. "Do you want me to stay here? On the bed? I wasn't sure you'd be comfortable with that." After all, this doesn't seem to be at all sexual for him.

Stark doesn't say anything—Phil's not entirely sure if he's nonverbal or not—but he turns his face back towards Phil a little. Doesn't quite look at him, and doesn't make a move; he's not going to ask again, not after what he obviously took as a rejection. His reactions are odd, not much like Phil had expected.

- Sustain

Or:

Beck gets Peter turned around, still kneeling but settled back against Beck's legs, leaning into it. "Toss me his shirt," he says, and Tony throws it at his face, Beck managing to catch it before it connects. Laughs, like this is fucking funny. He slips his hand into Peter's hair and tugs his head back a bit, wiping the come off his face.

"Take five, baby," Beck says, and Peter hums, resting his head on Beck's thigh and staring at Tony. Beck's petting him, hand sliding slowly though Peter's hair, and it's a fucking nightmare that Beck knows what that feels like and Tony doesn't. "You see?" Beck says. "He likes it a little rough. A lot rough, sometimes, so don't worry about hurting him. Don't worry when he cries," and Tony glares at him.

Beck's looking down at Peter, though, and then Tony is too. He's turning red again as Beck talks, but he's not denying anything, and not looking away from Tony.

Beck's hand trails down Peter's neck, hooks around the front and pulls him back; Peter's head tips back, exposing the whole of his throat to Beck's hand. "He's a little embarrassed by it," Beck says, "but he's an awfully sweet submissive too. Aren't you, honey?"

Peter looks up at him, his expression soft, open. "Yes, sir," he says, and Jesus Christ, Tony had no idea how much he wants Peter to say that to him. Peter likes it too, not just giving it lip service judging by the way his cock is getting hard again. Beck smiles.

"I'm going to miss you," he says. "You've been a lot of fun, baby." He looks up, catching Tony's eye, a smirk growing slowly on his face. "Guess I'd better make sure the last time makes up for it."

- 11:59

What’s your favorite piece of dialogue you wrote this year?

I mean, I’m very fond of Hang Up, it’s like 85% dialogue.

Alternatively:

"Looks like you're finally ready to be fucked," Tony says. "Bets on if you'll come on my cock, or if I'll have to give you a reach around with this?" settling the gauntlet on Quentin's hip.

"No," Quentin says, shaking his head as much as he can manage, "no, no, Tony—"

Tony leans in, thighs pushing Quentin's legs apart, the head of his cock bumping up against Quentin's ass. "If you manage it just once without my hand," he whispers, ducking his head and rubbing his beard over Quentin's shoulder, "I'll fund every last thing you ask for."

"No," Quentin moans, because he can't.

"Don't worry, sweetheart," Tony says. "I'll make sure you can."

- Make Sure

Story with the single sexiest moment:

AHHHHHHHHH fuck this is the hardest one.

Secondhand and Gift Wrapped both have some of the hottest moments, I think:

Peter's so hard he can barely think, absolutely can't control the way his dick jumps in Quentin's hand. He doesn't want to hear about this, doesn't want to imagine Tony with Quentin at all. Doesn't want Quentin to stop.

Quentin kicks off his pants and then he's crawling up over Peter, staring down at him with that manic glint in his eyes that Peter knows well enough by now to worry about. "He fucked my face like that," Quentin says, watching him. "Kept babbling that shit and fucked my throat nearly raw. Can't you hear it, honey?" and Peter can, he can.

"Can't you imagine it?" Quentin asks, and Peter can.

- Secondhand

And:

Peter wants— he curls his fingers in Tony's hair and yanks, Tony's head hanging loosely from his hands. He looks wrecked, sweaty and his whole face is dark, his lips wet and red and puffy, all from Peter's cock. When he opens his eyes, it's like he's not even seeing Peter, completely lost in his own little world; he's stiffening slowly, his spine rounding and he tries to brace himself, his eyes going wider and his breath getting shorter and— and is he about to come, Peter wonders. Is he really going to come just like this, from being fucked like this?

He is, he totally fucking is because a moment later Tony stops breathing entirely, his head jerking hard against Peter's hold, his whole body jerking as he comes. He gasps, eyelashes fluttering, and Peter can feel Tony's come landing on his legs, holy shit.

Pepper eases her thrusts, sinking into Tony and just rocking against him while he comes. Waits until he's gone limp, sunk down even more between her hands and Peter's; "Peter," she says. "Get a good grip on him for me. He gets all wiggly afterwards and I'm not done."

- Gift Wrapped

But if it comes down to what is probably my favorite -

Peter had already been pretty out of it when Tony came back, already wound up and just existing, no thoughts and no worries, nothing but want and feeling and response. He’d already been awfully close to flying, and this— this drops him over the edge, completely.

Some part of his head is aware of the way he’s thrusting up into Tony’s mouth, Tony taking it happily, drooling around him; is aware that Peter’s tossing his head back and forth, fighting against Rhodey’s tight grip on his hair, only making it worse with every yank. Is even a little aware that the others must be watching him, watching them, watching just like Rhodey’s looking down at him, Tony looking up, their gaze so heavy on Peter he can feel it, just like he can feel everything, every touch and every texture and every single spot his body is in contact with anything. Can feel everything, too much, overwhelming, amazing, and he doesn’t know if it’s that, or the pain of Rhodey’s grasp, or the wave crashing down on him as he comes that have him crying. Maybe it’s all of them, or maybe it’s just that he’s wanted like this, kept and held and wanted.

Rhodey kisses him, gently, and Tony crawls up over him; kisses Rhodey and kisses Peter and Peter could stay just like this forever. He can see Tony’s mouth moving, talking to him, then Rhodey, then him again, but his head is full of nothing but static, white noise.

- Flaunt

(So, uh, what does it say that all of those are threesomes?)

Stories I haven't yet written, but intend to:

SO MANY. Beyond the fics I’ve got going for other people and Gotcha, and the (hopefully) one off continuations of kinktober fics, I really want to focus on -

The rest of Deep End (I know it all exactly!)

The sad AI Peter/Tony, real!Peter/Tony

Branches of Aegis

ONE of my longer ABO pieces.

Fluffuary & Kinktober, again.

Fingers crossed. I don’t even want to think about how many more ideas will come creeping in.

#end of year #unsettled rambles #starker #spiderio #quentony

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illusionlockarchive · 5 years ago

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pazam: a mess, truly a mess

so i usually dont do these kind of posts, i guess you could say its a call out of some sort? but i never liked that word, i prefer rather to just compile sources on WHY people would believe that a certain person is not truly as nice and understanding as they seem. consider this more of a psa post, detailing on whats going on with pazam on the sfm community, why so many people are against them.

So, a while back, tumblr user jymble made a post on the main tag stating that pazam was transphobic. they linked back to this post, which contains screenshots of pazam in a group chat stating that they do not feel comfortable with the idea of trans people. now, this did happen 9 months ago, true. however, for the record, pazam is already an adult, 24 years old, so they should have some tact. and as further and more recent events will show, they actually havent changed that much at all, at least not as they claim.

the screenshots should be in the post, but here is a transcript

[Screenshot one]

Pazam:

What????? Why?????

I literally HAVE NOT been doing ANYTHING malicious to them

And if it did I apologized

Yes I do have discomfort about them but I keep it to myself

Why are you doing this????

[End screenshot one]

‘Them’ here refers to trans people in general. Notice the defensive and victimizing stance they almost immediately take upon being confronted about their feelings on trans people.

[Screenshot two]

elliott:

of COURSE you dont

sammaku:

Like specifically

Elliott hush

Pazam:

This whole concept of transness and changing your gender physically

I hate to say it again but it weirds me out and it makes me question my own gender which flings me into anxiety, depression, and obsession

sammaku:

Its fine to not understand but are you willing to learn about it

Pazam:

I don’t want to talk about this anymore

sammaku:

That depression anxiety and obsession just comes with gender issues

(the rest of the text is cut off)

[End Screenshot two]

notice once summaku asks them if they would at least be willing to learn about it, pazam immediately deflects it by saying they dont want to talk about it anymore.

[Screenshot three]

Pazam:

Seriously??? That’s all it takes????

Wow I’m a moron

I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused to you

@.aziraphale @.elliott @.sammaku

I just don’t get this stuff period

And I’ve gotten into trouble with this stuff before

I’ll probably never understand it for the rest of my life but I’ll try to be more tactful around y’all

Especially since you’re all young

And I’m like an adult

[End screenshot three]

While at first this would seem like they had finally learned their lesson and apologized, the things they add on after the @s become quickly worrying. Not only do they admit to ‘have gotten into trouble with this stuff before’, meaning they have probably shown their transphobia in other places and been called out, but they also stand firmly on the fact that they will never understand it or ‘get’ it.

And of course, as jymble points out, the implication that the people they were talking to were only acting like that because they were young.

A while after this post was made, Pazam had posted an apology, and went onto contact jymble asking for the post with the evidence of their transphobic to be taken down. The reason? They were afraid people would see it and think they were still transphobic and not give them a chance.

In this more recent post, you can see the conversation play out between Pazam and jymbles. Long story short, Pazam feels that it’s unfair that that post is still up after they apologized, and jymble of course said they would rather not take it down, people deserve to know what they did and take their own conclusions, even if that involves avoiding them. How does Pazam respond? By flat out deleting the apology post. I’d love to show the apology post to give you both sides of the story but I cannot anymore, because Pazam in a very bizarre move just deleted it because they got mad a trans blogger wouldn’t take down their post with proof.

Here’s the transcript of the screenshots:

[Begin Conversation]

rebloggidy (Pazam’s personal):

I’m by no means transphobia-free after learning what I’ve done but at least I know my actions and am making an effort to be a better person towards trans people.

rebloggidy:

Hi again. So I hate to be that person but would it be ok if you took down that post about the transphobia claims? I know it took me 9 months to apologize but if people only see your side of the story and not realize the post I saw they’ll take it out of context and still think I’m transphobic. Do you understand?

jymble:

... i already told you im not taking down the post.

[jymble sends a screenshot of her own message in a previous conversation, the screenshot reads as follows:

however, i dont think im taking the post down, nor am i entirely comfortable with you interacting with me either. people deserve to know how you acted with this stuff, until youre really and truly *better* with it instead of just trying, and i was a direct target of it]

jymble:

you oughright told me "im by no means transphobia-free", word for word sorry, but i told you before. im not taking the post down.

rebloggidy:

I remember that. But what I'm trying to say to you is that if people who read it out of context will immediately think I'm still transphobic without the other side of it (my comment)

And I don't want people to think that in the future

jymble:

if people make assumptions without looking at the entire situation, thats on them

i am not deleting the post and thats final. people have a right to know what youve done, and they have a right to be uncomfortable

rebloggidy:

I'm ready to take down my post because frankly, I'm sick and tired of having to justifiy something that I did 9 months ago, and that people grow and learn even not 100% during that time and I'm ready to move on.

I'm still into smile for me and feel free to make a blacklist of my name so anybody who rbs my work on your dash can have it hidden or something.

Take care.

[End conversation]

a lot to unpack here, but perhaps most notable is when jymble simply stands her ground and tells pazam she wont take down the post, pazam straight up decides, without being told to or anything, that they should take down their apology. later on, they made a post stating why they deleted the post, and saying they had ‘been forced to’.

I also would love to link it here, but as of now of writing this, like, not even an hour or so after I had seen that post, it got deleted. The only memory I have of it is a conversation I had with my boyfriend about Pazam, in which I copypasted a fragment from that post that read:

“ So for those wondering where the apology post went, I was forced to delete it. I wanted to archive it in some way so I could pull it up for reference, but there was no way I could. Also I didn’t really want to see it every time on my blog because quite honestly it’s upsetting to look at.”

There are some lies and twisting of truths here. Pazam wasn’t forced to delete it, they decided they should do it as a way to somehow get back at jymble. And the excuse that it was upsetting for them to look at is just inexcusable, what matters most, letting people know of what youve done and that youre sorry, or just never addressing the situation?

But, well, I’m just hoping you’ll take my word for it. As you see, Pazam has officially deleted ANY traces of acknowledging this situation on their blog.

This worries me. If Pazam is truly as concerned that they will be seen as transphobic as they claim, why are they deleting anything that could give them a chance of showing their own side of the story?

Now, that is the end, for now, of Pazam’s history with transphobia. However! It is not the end for some other very shady things.

Namely, Pazam has consistently whitewashed characters from Smile For Me, specially Kamal, and when called out on it, simply deletes the asks.

Want to know how I know this?

I sent them an ask myself. I had come across this picture of Boris and Kamal:

And I knew that this wasn’t right. I can understand using light colors and doing watercolor, but if they can make Boris’ hair brown and vivid enough, why not Kamal? He looks like another character completely, or like he’s deathly sick!

So I sent them an anonymous ask, perhaps a bit exhasperated, true, and my wording could be better. It went something like: “i am begging you to draw kamal with darker skin”.

I waited, checked. But nothing came of it. They never answered it.

Pazam flat out ignored when they were told they had drawn a canonically brown man with skin way too light. Not even a lone text post saying ‘hey anon, i dont agree with you’ or ‘hey anon im sorry it wont happen again’. Nothing. No word, no opinion.

And with this situation going on with them evading responsibility, I can’t say I’m fully surprised.

And, yet another thing. People had expressed concern over the fact they had drawn their Flower Kid, who is 17, in very intimate and close positions with Dr. Habit. It included nuzzling faces, cuddling in bed together, wearing his coat...

And they did hear the claims this time. As of now, their Flower Kid is 24, according to them.

Except... They do not look 24. At. All.

this is a 12 year old. at best. short body, stubby legs, big head. those are all attributes of a very young character, usually children. like, legitimately, thats how childrens anatomy is in real life. the younger the person, the bigger their head is in proportion to their body.

We have already had an adult trying to justify drawing their flower kid who barely looked like an adult if at all in intimate situations with Habit. Let’s not let it slide by again.

And yes, I’m aware Pazam claims that those pictures were not supposed to be interpreted as romantic, ‘only platonic fluff’ and that they intend to keep it that way, but I have talked to my boyfriend who is a survivor and he said it very well could be a case of someone just trying to cover their tracks.

BUT, all that being said, maybe this one particular instance could be just us being wary. Still, it does not diminish all that they have done, specially ignoring the whitewashing claims.

What you are going to do with this information, I do not know. Maybe you don’t care and will keep reblogging their content. Maybe you’re disgusted by them. But I’m just here to give you the facts. Personally though, I’m not willing to give them much of a chance after the way they’ve behaved. They are 24 years old, three years older than me, and I think I could do a better job of handling a situation like this, frankly.

#don't be scared. i am here with you.#smile for me #smile for me game

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elenathehun · 4 years ago

Note

Challenge! Mito sealing Madara in some fashion during or just post the events of VotE (including but not limited to - sealing his eyes, his chakra, or him inside of herself). Bonus points for world building.

Literally 3.5 years later…

~~~

The first time she tends to her prisoner, it’s a spare four days after Madara’s inopportune return. Mito’s belly no longer burns, which is more than some parts of the village can say. She won’t forgive him for that. In that, her husband and she are as one mind.

It’s for that reason that she rips Madara out the slowly-smoldering scroll she’d originally sealed him into, and just as quickly shoves him into the black iron tea kettle she’d hastily re-purposed for just this task.

He doesn’t even have time to scream out loud. The kettle starts steaming, but there is no tell-tale sound of metal warping. Good. She’s bought herself another few months before she has to handle this pest in a more permanent manner. Rebuilding the wards around Konoha is the highest priority at this time. Whatever else can keep, will keep.

Mito leaves the kettle on a corner of her desk next to her ink tray, slaps the stray sparks out before they can do more than mar the lacquer veneer, and moves on to the next task on an ever-growing list.

~~~

The kettle holds together for a week shy of three months - longer than Mito had expected, given Madara’s hateful burning chakra. Tobirama is practically foaming at the mouth to take custody of the body, but Mito has no intention of releasing her prisoner just yet. Tobirama, impatient child that he is, will just have to amuse himself with those students he’s taken on. That should occupy him for a few years, at least.

Mito intends to take all the time she needs for this next task, and here, in the underground chamber she’d prepared specifically for this task, she has all the time and assistance she needs. The entire cell is tiled from ceiling to floor, and each tile is inscribed with a master seal for containment - both within and without.

That master seal was her first masterwork, when she was a girl. It elevated her above her siblings and cousins and brought her to the attention of the man she married. It has never failed her yet.

She pulls Madara out slowly this time, ensuring the re-materialization is precise and Madara’s body lands exactly as planned on the mosaic floor, the seals inlaid into the tile activating as his body lands on the floor. At the end of it, he’s lying spread-eagled, naked as the day he was born, and twice as angry. Understandable: most shinobi greatly dislike the sensation of complete paralysis..

“Madara,” Mito says, ensuring her enunciation is perfect. “I know it’s been awhile, but surely you remember the Lady Bunko, of the Akimichi Clan?”

He snarls at her, still as incandescently angry as he was a season ago, riding toward the village on a creature that should have stayed hidden far away from humanity. He didn’t impress her then; he doesn’t impress her now.

“No? A shame,” Mito says. “ I do believe her to be the best surgeon in the village, even above Tobirama.”

Bunko, as tall and plump as the rest of her kin, merely kneels over Madara’s head and places her hands at his temple. He loses consciousness in seconds, as deftly as Mito had said. She is not inclined to false flattery when it comes to the skills of her closest associates.

“Well, the good news is that my earlier estimate for extraction still applies,” Bunko said quietly, voice barely reaching Mito’s ears.

“And the bad news?” Mito prompts, more gently than her general wont.

“No bad news,” Bunko said, a sweet smile crinkling the tattoos on her cheeks. “I should be done in three hours. Will you remain for the procedure, or return when it’s complete?”

“Remain,” Mito decides. “Madara has an unpleasant habit of exceeding ordinary expectations. I won’t have him do so again. Proceed with the procedure; I will stand watch until the end.”

~~~

Bunko is finished well within the estimated time. Madara’s eyes are sealed away in a glass tablet inscribed with the strongest seals Mito can create for both preservation and protection. Madara himself will survive the enucleation, at least as far as Bunko can tell. He’s going to get the best medical care on the continent, at least until the point when all viable information has been extracted from his feeble brain - Mito will accept nothing less.

“I’ll follow up on him in six hours,” Bunko says, offering the glass tablet to Mito. “Do you want me to revive him, or will you wait for him to awaken naturally?”

Mito thinks for a moment on either path, before taking the tablet from Bunko’s hands and sealing it within one of the tags hanging from her bound hair. “Revive him, please. My second will escort you to the exit. You’re free to come and go as necessary for this task.”

Bunko nods, and revives Madara in short order. He tries to play dead at first - old habits die hard - but Bunko is experienced in all the ways people try to fool medics. A quick sternum rub by the younger woman is all that’s necessary to rouse Madara back to rage, and she slips away from him and around Mito until she reaches the door to the cell.

“Bunko,” Mito says, right as the other woman lays one capable hand on the lock. “I thank you for your service to the Hidden Leaf.”

Bunko nods seriously, saluting a final time before exiting the room. Mito settles back to wait Madara out.

~~~

It takes less time than she thought it would. Apparently, Madara is familiar with the sensation of enucleation. That’s something to think on, later. He calms down quickly after he realizes what’s been done to him, and for the first time in a long time, seems more like the man she’d known…five years ago, perhaps. Before Tobirama had slain Izuna, and Hashirama had made the Uchiha bow their stubborn necks. Hashirama had such hopes for him in those days.

So much for all of that.

“How did you release the Nine-Tails?” Mito asks, as mild as milk.

No answer. She hadn’t expected one, really.

“It doesn’t matter if you ignore me, Madara,” she says calmly. “I’ll learn the answer eventually, one way or the other.”

He snarls at her, as expected. Still so utterly predictable. “You know nothing of the power I hold-”

“What power?“ She asks, finally moving around him in a clockwise pattern. The susurrus of her robes could be quite…distracting, especially to a man whose greatest sense was lost to him. He can only rely on sound and smell and taste and touch. But not sight. Never again. "I have your eyes, Madara, and without that, you are nothing more than a man. But go ahead and tell me: what power do you hold aside from that?”

He opens his mouth, then closes it. The muscles in his jaw flex as he grinds his teeth. Mito nods, and kneels at his head, close enough that her breath creeps across his face. “So there is something. Good. I wouldn’t like to think I’ve wasted my time and capital on preserving your worthless hide. So know this, Madara: in the months to come, I will learn everything there is to know about your betrayal.”

He jerks at that, hissing, and Mito tastes something. Something foreign, something more akin to her husband’s sense of earth-water-death than the more straight-forward sense of ash the Uchiha all carry. She never used to be able to taste chakra, but many things have changed since Madara rode the Nine-Tails into war, and that is one of them. But it’s not urgent. Just something else to think on, and maybe to pass on to Takara, when the other woman takes over the interrogation. She leans over even further to whisper directly into his left ear.

“Before I leave you, Madara, I want you to remember that for all your vaunted sight, you never saw me. Otherwise, you would have known to never bring the Nine-Tails within my grasp. I’ve wrenched it from your control, and your eyes as well. But I am not without mercy: a tree is nothing without strong roots, Madara. I intend to see that the Hidden Leaf develops strong ones. In time, you will understand this. Even you still have a part to play in Hashirama’s grand peace.”

#naruto #the author as tyrant #askbox

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bubblyani · 6 years ago

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Blinded (Freddie x Reader)

A Freddie Jackson One Shot

Warnings: Swearing, Themes of Obsession, Sexual Content (18+)

~Anon Request: Hi! Can i request a Freddie Jackson and reader. It could be a oneshot if you want. Where reader and freddie love each other like two psycopaths, obsessed with each other but she is soo good and naive person and we all know how Freddie is 😂 but she wont give up on him. If you write it you will make me happy. ❤️~

Author’s Note: This request expanded my mind on writing another Freddie fic. So I’m very grateful. Thank you Anon! 😘 wanted to make this interesting as possible. Plus, it’s Freddie, so it turned out to be unexpectedly sexy. No regrets honestly. Hope you all enjoy it.

“You’ve changed Y/N”

With the fork still in your mouth, you didn’t like what you just heard, and it was clearly displayed in your face.

“If you have something to say, just say it Sarah” you snapped, slamming your fork on the table, “Wha’ is it?” Sarah, your best friend, ever since high school, looked down at her spaghetti nervously. “Come on Sarah..wha’ is it?” you repeated , “Is it about Freddie?”

Looking up, she didn’t hesitate to give you a sharp look. You knew something grave will come out of her mouth. With a heavy sigh, she spoke: “Yes...it is about Freddie” You scoffed, hastily sipping on some red wine, for you were certain you will not like what was about to come next. Sarah shook her head. “Y/N...I’ve been ignoring this for too long, and I can’t do it anymore. As your closest friend...Y/N..look at me! ” she exaggerated the moment you averted your eyes away, “...as your friend, I can’t just sit here and do nothin’. Freddie is not a good man fo’ you” You groaned in frustration, “Then who is a good man for me ? A saint?” You asked, your voice rich with anger. “Quiet!” Sarah hissed at you, feeling the looks of the nearby customers on the both of you. Therefore, silence was maintained for a solid half minute, until Sarah spoke up once again. “All I’m saying is...” she continued in a hushed tone, “given the man is Freddie Jackson…you’re this close to getting in trouble…getting your heart broken. You know what kind of man he is…Y/N! He-”

You managed to drown out Sarah’s rambles as your eyes were glued on to table a few feet in front of you, specifically that one chair in the corner. All the sounds in the pub faded slowly as you stared fondly at that empty table and chair. It wasn’t two weeks ago that you laid eyes on him for the very first time. Two weeks ago since a part of you was finally opened up. All cause you met Freddie Jackson.

~(Two weeks ago) ~ Head tilted, you managed to run your red manicured fingers through your hair. Doing it all so slowly, all the while your eyes kept focus on him. And he certainly returned the favor from across the pub. Your expression softened, displaying pleasure as the fingertips touched your scalp, later descending downwards through your locks once more, suppressing the urge to smile, but finally did upon the glimpse of his very own naughty one. Even the distance did not stop the simplest action as his wink from making you chuckle softly, and biting your lower lip.

“What? What’s funny?” You realized Gary, Sarah and her boyfriend Peter, were all staring at you. Clearing your throat you said, “Nothing…” you smiled, pressing your lips together in embarrassment, as the rest of them continued on with their conversation. It was Friday, and Sarah had set you up on a blind date with Gary, one of her coworkers, whom she reckoned would be a ‘good match’ for you. Even if Gary was a good lad, you two didn’t exactly click. Polite exchanges and awkward glances filled the evening, and thanks to Sarah and Peter’s series of anecdotes, you managed to escape from any form of conversation with the poor man. Thanks to Sarah and Peter, your attention was caught elsewhere, far away from your table.

His eyes were seductive, not to mention his lips. Kissable was what you wished you could describe them as. And you hoped you could confirm your suspicions somehow. Though no words were exchanged from a distance, he still managed to be the most interesting segment in the evening for you. Little did everyone know of the silent yet intense flirting both of you have engaged in. You were enamored by the way puffs and rings of smoke exited his perfect lips, his eyes never leaving yours. Sipping your pint of beer, you pressed your frustrations further down. You wished for an escape. He seemed to be the escape. The perfect escape.

“We should play a game!” The trio suddenly grew silent by your voice. “Dare me to do something…” you spoke out confidently with smile, “Come on! I dare all of you” your voice filled with playfulness. Suddenly your demure nature has left you, leaving your friends lost for words. Sarah watched you with furrowed brows, trying to read your change. “Alright then…” Sarah finally spoke out: “I dare you…to go sit on the lap… of the fittest man you see in this pub” Your eyebrows were raised in fascination. Gary however looked concerned. “Sarah…What are you going on about?” He asked. She merely shook her head with laughter. “Don’t worry Gary, I was just pulling her leg. This is Y/N! She would never do that kind of thing-” “Oh…you think that I won’t?” Your eyebrows were still raised as you looked at her. Finishing your pint of larger, you got up instantly. Your head felt lighter as you squeezed your way out the table, “Try and stop me!”

Walking away confidently as your hips swayed from side to side, the alcohol fueled you up with courage as the distance between you and him got smaller. The more steps you took, the shorter the party dress appeared to look, as it rode up your thighs. Loud chatter of the group of men at his table, was interrupted the moment your buttocks flopped on his lap.

“Hello” you said, softly and seductively. You were surprised of your own behavior, but it seemed to have come out so naturally. The man flashed a big smile. “Well…’ello love” You body vibrated by the sound of his voice, for it sounded better than you imagined. Leaning over, you rested your body against his chest.

“Ah…Where have you been all my life?” He asked, watching you finger his gold chain with fascination. “Probably somewhere you didn’t look enough” you replied in kind, gaze shooting right up at his own. He chuckled, and you joined in. Clearing his throat, a younger man who sat next to him slowly stood up. “Um…Lads..let’s give ol’ Freddie some privacy yeah?” He said, inaudibly motioning them, “Off you go…that other table is free yeah?” “Yes, Jimmy!” You watched Jimmy usher the others away, leaving the two of you alone at last. “So…” your playful tone remained unchanged, “Your name is Freddie? “That’s right love…” he watched you with much focus, “…you like it?

“Yeah…I do” you replied, running your fingers on your lips whilst you pondered, “ I think it’s a nice name. It’s very comfortable…but also very exciting to say…” he certainly enjoyed watching you explain it all with a hint of matter-of-factness, “Freddie…” you said, your eyes marveling at the sight, “Freddie…” you repeated, enunciating it using your whole mouth. Lips centimeters from his ear, “Freddie…” you whispered. Tossing his cigarette, Freddie’s hands were quick to react to your indirect teases, with one wrapped around your waist, while the other resting on your inner thigh. And you were generous enough to respond with soft yet emotive moans, as his fingers encircled the exposed skin it came into contact with. “You know…” he grunted, urging you to look back at him, “…nothing brings me pleasure than to hear my name coming out that pretty little mouth of yours” “Oh…you do?” “Yeah…” his voice grew deep, “But it would be fuckin’ pity if I don’t know yours eh?” Point made. “It’s Y/N” you replied, biting your lip with a smile. Excitement rushed over you as you felt his hand slowly travel upwards, making small stops, as if he wanted to inspect your level of sensitivity at every inch of your thighs. “Ah…Y/N…I-” “Show’s over boys! Freddie Jackson…you twat!” You looked over to see a group of burly men approach the tables, some were armed and certainly looking dangerous. Jimmy and the others stood up in a flash. You felt the atmosphere grow hostile, even the other customers began to grow uncomfortable. Well of course, you thought. You were sitting on the lap of a gangster. It all made sense now. “Ma’am…It’s probably best if you go home now with your friends” Jimmy said in a polite tone, looking over at you. Freddie however, seemed to have forgotten about you, as he gave the intruders a murderous stare. Nervously, you got up, feeling his his grip loosen off you as you quickly walked off over to Sarah and the company, almost stumbling in your heels as your heart kept beating out your chest. “Y/N…Oh my god!” “Y/N…”

~(Present)~ “Y/N!” Sarah’s voice brought you back to earth, and she did not sound happy. “Were you even listening to me?” You exhaled through gritted teeth, for her words felt like nails digging into your skull. You were simply fed up. “Y/N…were-” “FINE FINE I get it…For fuck’s sakes! Could you just leave me be?” You finally broke, standing up as you rummaged through your handbag, pulling out some money. “PLEASE …” you slammed them hard on the table, “JUST STOP IT!” Your voice booming all over the room, everyone turned to witness the terrible turn of events as you stormed out the building, leaving Sarah wide eyed, embarrassed and speechless.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Your heels clicked as you walked in a fast pace. Furious with Sarah, you wanted to wipe out all the horrid things she said out of your mind. Exhaling deeply, you continued walking. But suddenly, you halted, turning back in an instant. For a moment you were quite certain you were being watched. Standing there for a mere minute, you waited until you felt safe enough to start walking again. The mind raced for something pleasant to dwell in, and it didn’t hesitate to recall the events that took place later that evening when you first met him.

~(Two weeks ago, later that night)~ Refreshed after a hot shower, you felt sobered up as you opened the refrigerator. Gulping in some cool water from the bottle, you wiped your mouth afterwards, still in disbelief of what happened that night at the pub. As you leaned against the pantry, you could not stop recalling your exciting encounter with Freddie. Regardless of all what happened afterwards, the memory with him was what you longed to remember that night. It was exciting, yes. But why did you still feel empty and unfulfilled? Why did a part of you craved for something more with this charming Gangster?

Stretching in your strappy nightdress, you were on your way to the bedroom when suddenly you heard a knock on the door followed by a ring of the bell. It was quite late, suddenly a nervous feeling creeped in you. Looking through the peep hole, you gasped. For a second you couldn’t breath. “Oh my god” you whispered, opening the door to find Freddie Jackson standing there. You wished you were dressed up enough to welcome him, instead in your nightdress, loose hair with no makeup on. “Sorry about earlier but…” he said, “…that was too fuckin’ short, innit love?” His voice refreshed your mind and body with the power he had over you for those few minutes at the pub. At that point, your need to be fulfilled grew even stronger. With your mere nod, you permitted him to swoop in, his hungry lips on yours, eliciting more moans off you with kisses. Closing the door behind you, his lips remained on yours as he pressed you against the wooden door, pillowy lips smothering you with softness and fueling your cravings. It was nothing sweet, and you didn’t care for sweet. Passion from the start was surprisingly enjoyable, injecting your senses with a whole new level of intoxication. As his curious hands traveled all over your frame, you knew you were falling in love with Freddie.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

~(Two weeks Later, Present)~ Taking off your jacket, you entered the flat, casually pulling your dark green fitted turtleneck sweater up, unhooking and thus breaking the constraints of your brassier from your frame. You tossed the undergarment away, finally feeling comfort the moment the soft sweater came into direct contact with your breasts. Rubbing your temples, you shook yourself off from your heels, moving over to the sink where you had left some unwashed dishes.

You’ve never experienced love, the way you had it with Freddie. It was just two weeks ago that he claimed ownership to your lips and body on the same night, whilst stealing your heart effortlessly. Never in your whole existence did you imagine all this with a gangster from East End. For two whole weeks, you tasted the romance you once read about in novels. He turned you hopelessly romantic, and it showed.

You’ve never experienced the sense of longing, the sense of craving as you did with Freddie. Every waking moment without him felt meaningless and you’d always be restless until you were able to lay eyes on him. You’d even feel compelled to step out on some days, finding pathetic excuses to go over to his neighborhood, hoping to find him there, whenever he wont have the time to see you. It came to the point where you lost your sense of shame and even come across Jimmy by accident. You’d make friendly conversation, making a smooth escape afterwards, hoping he won’t notice your growing infatuation with his cousin.

You’ve never experienced jealousy as you did with Freddie. Fists of yours would clench in frustration whenever you’d be told what a charmer your boyfriend was, how he was known to have a string of women around. The thought of him with another woman was strong enough to drive you into depths of self doubt and self consciousness. You’d end up staring at yourself in the mirror, wondering whether you were more beautiful than all of those wretched women rumored. Sometimes you’d like to think, regardless of what everyone might dare say, you’d always be at the top in the list, you’d be his absolute favorite. Thoughts such as those eased you and prevented you from insanity, causing a scene out of nowhere at an unrelated occasion whilst pulling your own hair out. This man managed to bring out a different side to you out in the open.

Love can have the most incredible impact on a person, and you fully experienced it a week ago. You remembered how surprisingly calm you were when you found him standing by your door one night, with a shocking number of blood stains all over him. And the only concern you had, was to get rid of those horrid stains. The fact he ended up at yours at a crucial time such as this, moved you.

Love can make you overlook so many things, blinding you to the fact he might have come back after a possible heist or murder, hiding out at your flat. Love can make you disregard all that completely, prioritizing his safety and his well being, and how you’d allow the simple act of cleaning the stains in the bathroom proceed to the both of you defiling your bathtub with passion. The sheer image of bloody soap water splashing whilst your naked bodies writhed against each other still remained fresh in your memory.

Sighing, the tap water kept running as you continued to wash the dishes, until you were startled by the sudden ring of the phone. Picking it up, you placed it in between your ear and shoulder as you kept cleaning the plates with water. “Hello!” “Well ‘ello love” Throwing your head back in sheer happiness, you let out a sigh of relief. “Freddie babe…” you purred, “Ah fuck, you sound so fuckin sexy Y/N…” he chuckled, “What are you doing?” “Doing some dishes…” you replied, finally closing the tap, “But I wish you were doing me instead…” you did not care about the corny lines that came out of your lips. “Fuuckin’ Hell..” “Oh Freddie…” your thighs rubbing against each other, you hand dipped in your tartan checkered pleated skirt, feeling yourself further, “I miss you so bad..” You began to worry when there was silence on the other side of the call for a few seconds, “I really miss you…” you repeated in desperation. “ Who fuckin’ told you, you could do that without me?” A gasp escaped your lips, as you felt Freddie’s hand rest on your waist. Standing behind, he certainly surprised you. You chuckled, leaning your head back to feel his forehead. You certainly didn’t mind that he seemed to have a spare key to your place. In fact, you loved it. His clothed erection pressed against your buttocks, distracted you enough for him to dip one hand inside your skirt, allowing your hand to rest on his as skimmed through to tease your heat, while the other slithered under your sweater, traveling upwards. The soft material of your sweater was comfortable, you admit, but it was nowhere near comparison in stimulation and pleasure, when his palm rested on your right breast, with his finger rolling and pinching the hardened nipple. “ You’ve no fuckin’ idea how much I missed you” He growled, sending shivers which resulted in more heat between your thighs.

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You suppressed your whimpers when you felt Freddie’s teeth sink into your shoulder. Biting you, he proudly left a trail of hickeys on your back whilst he slowly moved inside you. Body pressed against the cooling glass of the window, you gazed out the neighborhood, simultaneously relishing the kisses Freddie managed to place on the back of your neck, licking every inch afterwards. You suddenly felt his thrusts slow down, yet his grip on you grew tighter. Cupping your breasts, his lips moved over to your ear, biting the earlobe whilst pushing in to you. “I know Y/N” he purred, you felt that emphasized thrust afterwards. “What?” “I know..” He repeated, another thrust, “ Jimmy told me…” glueing his torso against your back, “How you’d come around looking for me…” he continued, “…almost…every…day” your mouth parted in ecstasy as he thrusted inside you after every single word, “You want me so fuckin’ bad, do ya?” “Yes!” You confessed, balancing yourself with your hands resting against the window panel. “How much do you want me?” “I want you so…much…” you cried out, “ I wish you were inside of me every moment…you’re driving me crazy Freddie!” There it all was, you were putty in his hands , so it was inevitable. Freddie chuckled with pride. “But…do ya wanna know a secret Y/N?” You nodded in desperation as he leaned in closer.

“ I can’t leave you out of my bloody sight either…” he whispered. Your eyes widened with surprise. You couldn’t believe what you just heard. “Freddie I-” “I fuckin’ can’t stop thinkin’ about you” he groaned, licking your jawline, “Why do you think you always meet Jimmy by accident? Why did you think you were being watched tonight?” Somehow, you felt as you were being fed with nothing but pleasure inducing words. “Fuck…If I can have you wrapped around me the whole fuckin’ day everyday, I would , love …I really would” He said, his movement regaining speed. “Oh Freddie…” you moaned, as you felt him tug your head back with a firm grip on your hair. “The fact that you want me as much as I want you, makes me so… fuckin’… hard…” he continued, proceeding to declare those words you’ve longed to hear always, preparing to send you far off to the clouds. “Cause you…are…mine!”

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Running over to the phone in tipped toes, you silenced the loud rings the moment you picked it up. “Hello?” “Y/N! Oh thank goodness” Sarah’s relived voice filled your ears, “I was so worried about you…since you left…” “Sarah…I’m fine” you assured her, “Don’t worry about me” She sighed, “I just didn’t like the way our conversation ended tonight” you leaned against the wall as you listened, fingers playing with the silk bathrobe that was wrapped around you, “I know you didn’t like to hear what I had to say tonight, but…at least I hope you’d consider.” She continued, “I hope you can think about it. Think about who’s best for you” “I know…Thank you Sarah…” you replied, lips pressed with guilt as you heard movement in the bathroom, “Goodnight” you said. You hung up the phone slowly. Feeling his hungry eyes washing over, you looked up to find Freddie standing by the bathroom, still naked. “That tub of yours…” he said, “… been too fuckin’ long since we made good use of that eh?” He chuckled, flashing his signature grin. Not a single moment passed by when his existence did not affect your body and soul. As you stood there breathless, you smiled whilst nodding. Walking towards him, you presented a visual treat by undoing the knot, conveniently dropping the bathrobe to the floor, freeing you from all forms of clothing and any form of inhibition.

I’m sorry Sarah, you thought. Cause you knew you just couldn’t let him go.

———————————————————————

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bald-tales · 5 years ago

Text

Rogue Gain by Titan

Casey Wyatt had it all. Youth, popularity and looks. At 22 he had everything going for him – except for one thing; he was a miser! As cheap as they come…..but that was all about to change….thanks to his miserly streak. Casey loved the fact that people always looked twice at him. Standing at 6ft 2 inches his muscular frame stood out. So did his handsome, squared jawed face – framed beautifully by pure, blonde hair which just hit his shoulders. Now along with his cheap approach to life, Casey was extremely homophobic. He couldn’t understand why guy’s dug other guy’s though he understood why anyone would want to have some of his arse! Just don’t try it. He was that vain. Now Casey was passing a Barbershop he hadn’t noticed before called ‘Cut Price Barbers’. He had been meaning to get his hair trimmed, but resented paying so much at the ritzy salon he would normally use. ‘How hard could it be to trim the ends,’ thought Casey to himself. He opened the shop door and immediately was transported back in time to a shop he use to visit as a kid. There was no one waiting or in the chair, just some old balding guy in a barbers tunic. “Good Day young man. Step right up to my chair, no waiting today.” Said the Barber brightly. “How much for just a trim?” asked Casey, a little hesitantly. “With your hair, I’d have to charge $10.” Replied the Barber. “I only want the ends cut. $10 is a bit steep isn’t it? Casey responded.” What do you normally charge for a trim? “6 dollars son,” answered the Barber now starting to get annoyed at this young upstart. “Then $6 it is,” Casey said stepping up into the chair. “Well, right you are. It’s been a bit quiet today,” the barber gave in. “Uncle! Phone for you – say’s it’s urgent!” came a deep, man’s voice from a doorway at the back of the shop. “Excuse me for a moment young man, I wont be long.” Said the barber as he went to take the call. ‘Well he better not take too long, ‘said Casey to himself. He started to fidget under the cape while he waited. He could feel the outline of his 10 inch cock through the fabric of his shorts. Yes! Casey was indeed blessed. “What was taking the old guy so bloody long!” Casey said, half out loud. I haven’t got all day. He looked at his watch a few times then back at himself in the mirror in front. “Sorry son! Family emergency,” the barber muttered as he came back into the shop. “I’ll have to get my nephew, Brian to attend to you.” He was already putting on his coat and heading for the door. “What sort of business are you running here, Pops? I haven’t got all day!” Casey started to say with a rising anger in his voice, “ This nephew of yours better hurry up!” The Barber was gone, the door slamming behind him. “Hey! How long am I going to have to wait around here.” Casey started up again. “Sorry there Sir.!” Came a deep voice behind him. Casey looked up and saw a younger, bigger version of the Barber that had left the shop coming towards him wearing a white barbers tunic. He probably was only a few years older than Casey, but he was much bigger, power lifter bigger, with a trimmed, blonde goatee and the same male pattern baldness as his uncle, except for the close cropped horseshoe of hair around the sides was a dark blonde. “Now I’m only paying 6 bucks, alright dude?” Casey said looking at the big barber who he guessed by the way he was looking at Casey, was probably a leather fag. “My uncle already told me you refused to pay the 10 dollars, so a 6 dollar haircut it is! By the way my name is Adrian.” The barber offered his hand, but Casey refused to take it. Even a fag name, Casey thought to himself. “Look, I don’t have much time for small talk, Aa-drian.” Casey replied, exaggerating the name. “Just a great haircut will be fine. And nothing with clippers.” Casey added looking at the barbers close clipped head. “Sure! One of my best coming up.” Adrian smiled. Picking up some scissiors he began to snip at the ends of the long luscious man hair. What Casey didn’t know was that Adrian had the ability to read minds. He’d known just what was on the young guy’s mind. As the haircut progressed, Casey took a longer look at his Barber. How lucky he was to have no history of baldness in his family, and if he did, he’d just go ahead and shave it all off. Why leave an old mans ring of hair around the sides. “You sure do have great hair!” Adrian said at last, running a hand through the long locks. You must look after it. I couldn’t be bothered personally, that’s why I got rid of all mine.” Adrian said, pretending to run a set of imaginary clippers over the head. “Yeah, but you were loosing yours anyway.” Casey almost spat. “No, unlike my uncle, I’ve always had a full head of hair. I’ve just always liked the look of mpb.” “What’s mpb?” “Male pattern baldness.” “What?” Casey asked. “You asked for that cut?” “Sure did. In fact, it made a few of my customers want the same thing.” “That’s weird. I’d never do that myself.” Casey went on to say to himself,’ but then again you fags are into all sorts of weird shit’! “Weird shit, eh?” mumbled Adrian. “Yeah, dude.” Then Casey stopped suddenly, “What did you say?” “Oh, I was just looking at the top of your scalp, it seems to have signs of thinning. I thought it weird because the rest of your hair seems so thick.” “What?” Casey almost fell out of the chair. “No way! There’s no bald dudes in my family.” But Casey still had a worried look on his face. “It’s not always genetics, or it can skip a couple of generations, but it’s definitely thinning, here take a look.” Adrian held a hand mirror over the top of Casey’s head. Casey looked closely, leaning forward towards the mirror in front. He started to run a hand through the hair. He couldn’t see anything – well there was nothing to see, but once you plant something like this on a vain guys mind! Well, it was working. “Shit Adrian! How can this be. I’m too young to go bald – I’ll look like a freak!” Casey didn’t even worry about his comments being spoken out loud. “Hey, man! Calm down. I’ve got just the thing to help. I think we’ve got it in time.” Adrian had left the shop to let Casey stew. He returned after a few minutes with a bottle marked ‘Rogaine – hair restorer’. “Have you seen this before?” Adrian asked showing the worried Casey the bottle. “Yeah! But I thought it didn’t work. If it did why don’t you use it.” Casey started to laugh. “It only works on growing hair.” Adrian ignored the remark. “How much are you going to charge me for that! I bet it’s expensive!” Casey sneered, knowing this stuff cost heaps. “For you I can let you have it for free, that way you may come back to me so I can keep an eye on your progress.” Adrian smiled. “That’s generous man.” “Well, I’d like to build up my customer base, as I’m new here.” Adrian added. “How do I use it?” a more relaxed Casey asked? “Just rub a small amount on the crown area, twice a day.” “That’s all?” “Yes sir!” Adrian kept this peculiar, almost sinister look on his face. “Sounds easy. Sold!” Casey added. “Let me finish up your haircut and I’ll put some in your hair now.” Adrian finished off the haircut and it seemed that the spoilt Casey was satisfied. “Yeah! Not bad for a Barber. Now are you going to use some of that Rogaine like you said?” asked Casey, moving his head around so he could catch a look at all sides of his new haircut. “Sure thing, sir!” and Adrian begun to pour a few drops through the hair on top of Casey’s head. “Now make sure you don’t apply too much…..a little goes a long way.” Adrian knew that the kids vanity would have him adding way too much. Casey paid his 6 dollars and of course didn’t leave any tip. He was pleased this barber discovered his hair loss in time. As Casey left with barely a thank you, Adrian knew he’d be back. Part Two Adrian was spot on – Casey was back, looking for a free bottle of Rogaine. Adrian’s uncle, Bob Kennedy had had to hand the reigns of running the store over to Adrian. His long-time companion, Terry, had been very ill in hospital. Bob had been meaning to retire soon but now his only concern was the speedy recovery of Terry. Yes! Adrian’s uncle was also gay. He and Terry had practically raised Adrian after his parents had thrown him out of home. It was Bob that encouraged Adrian’s interest in haircutting. So when Casey first came to the shop four weeks ago, ranting about cheap haircuts and not giving a crap about Uncle Bob’s predicament, Adrian knew the punk had to be taught some manners. As the bell on the front door rung, Adrian looked up from his paper, “Oh hello! Casey, isn’t it?” “Yeah – was wondering if I could get a haircut?” said Casey as he came up to the chair where Adrian was sitting. “Sure thing. How’d you go with the Rogaine I gave you; notice any results?” “Well I can’t say I have, that’s why I wanted you to have a look – being a professional and all!” Casey nervously added. “Well, take a seat and I’ll take a look.” Smiled Adrian. As Casey climbed onto the chair he thought it seemed different to last time – larger or more chrome showing. Adrian started to peel through the top hair and indeed it still looked as thick as ever. Because Casey wasn’t loosing his hair, that was an idea Adrian feed the vain youth. “It does take sometime to work, you may have to keep the applications up for some time.” Added Adrian. He next took a comb that was a thinning comb – one with a blade within the prongs. He lightly and carefully combed the hair and of course a few strands of hair started to appear in the comb. “Oh no!” said Adrian convincingly, “It’s worse than I thought!” he bent forward to show Casey the hair stranded in the comb. “What the fuck?” Why isn’t that Rogaine treatment working?” exclaimed a shocked Casey. “It won’t always work on everyone,” said Adrian, “and I thought we got it early enough for you.” “What can you do about it? There must be something?” Casey stammered with tears welling up in his eyes. “It may take years to progress to male pattern baldness, besides it quite often makes a guy more mature looking.” Added Adrian . “No fucking way man! I’m too young to have an old guys bald head, the chicks are always commenting about my long locks.” Again, the tactless Casey forgot the hairstyle Adrian wore. “Well – there is something, it’s experimental, but it’s proving 99 percent reliable in initial tests. Although it is pretty expensive.” “How expensive?” Casey asked. “200 dollars a bottle!” replied Adrian. “What? I can never afford that, surely you can do something better than that!” “Well I could let you have a sample that a pharmaceutical company let a friend of mine have.” Of course all this was a lie, but Adrian loved stringing along this guy. “Of course, I never needed it, in the end.” Adrian smiled as he ran a hand over the head. Casey ignored the statement still annoyed he had to put so much trust in this fag. “Please, man! Help me out, will you?” asked Casey, thinking if he was nice this guy would give him whatever he wanted. “Okay – but you mustn’t tell anyone about this. As I said, it’s experimental and not on the market yet.” “Sure! No problem,” cooed Casey. Adrian went out the back of the shop and came back with a small bottle. Adrian had been working on this formulae especially for Casey’s return. This particular ‘medicine’ did nothing for the hair, but it stimulated appetite and increased sexual libido via added testosterone and steroids. Offering the bottle to Casey, he began to explain it’s dose, “Now you have to take 2 tablespoons of this mornings and nights.” “You mean I drink this ?” questioned Casey. “You sure do – it goes into the bloodstream, builds up the testosterone in the body – which of course grows hair!” replied Adrian. “Okay! What have I got to loose.” And with that Casey got up to leave the shop, and as he went, turned to ask, “Now this stuff is safe?” “Sure is!” replied Adrian, and as he went to add something, Casey was gone, the door slamming behind him. Adrian was going to add – ‘ not to exceed the doses he advised’. Within a week, Casey had used the contents of the bottle up completely. He returned to Adrian’s Barbershop which he noticed had had a name change to, ‘Hair Designs by Adrian’. He was hoping he could influence the barber to give him some more of his special hair growth formulae. As he went into the shop, Casey was shocked to see the shop seemed changed- pictures on the wall showed various ‘extreme’ haircuts, some much like Adrian’s. The lights seemed brighter, the waiting chairs replaced by couches and the window now furnished with dark timber shutters. Adrian had a customer in the chair and they seemed to be having friendly banter, “probably another gay!” Casey said to himself, the neighborhood was full of them! “Hi there Casey – back so soon? I’ll be right with you, take a seat!” Adrian said as Casey entered the shop. Casey sat down in the couch noting how comfortable it was. He picked up one of the magazines on the table in front of him and pretended to look at it. He watched while Adrian finished up the customer ahead of him. The guy was around 40 and seemed to be carrying a lot of extra weight. Adrian must have cut a lot of hair off as the floor around the chair was littered with clumps of dark hair. Just as Casey thought the customer was finished with, Adrian went to a machine on the counter and pumped what looked to be warm lather onto his hands. He then proceeded to rub this around the guys sides and back. Producing a straight razor he then began slowly clearing the white foamy solution creating a scratching sound as it removed the stubble. Casey couldn’t believe it. He’d never seen this type of haircut before – it was like the style he’d seen marines wearing; short on top with only a horseshoe of hair – with shaved sides. Casey noticed how smooth the skin was looking after the razor ran over it. Adrian also put some lather on top of the head. Surely he wasn’t shaving him bald! Sure enough, Adrian proceeded to run the sharp blade over the top of the fat geezers head. After a few minutes the only hair remaining on the guys head was the front and a narrow upright fringe extending along the top of the head, finishing before the crown. Casey was amazed at the cut. It was strange but for some reason he found it interesting – kind of masculine. He’d never worn his hair much shorter than it was now, however, he wondered if he’d ever be able to pull off that sort of cut. Not that extreme of course, the guy was obviously into whatever Adrian was into – he put on a black leather jacket as he left. It was only then that he noticed Adrian was wearing a pair of tight, black leather pants, the white barbers tunic only covering the top belt loops. Casey had to admit this guy had a great body – but then he knew homos liked to hang out at the gym – their were way too many at his! “Okay Casey – your turn!” Adrian called out brushing the hair off the chair. As Casey got up he was suddenly aware his cock was at full mast. He tried to hide it as he climbed into the chair, but Adrian suddenly said; “Don’t worry about that man, happens to a lot of guy’s after watching one of my shaving sessions.” Casey’s face was bright red. He couldn’t believe he was getting off on a haircut, but he didn’t realize that the extra testosterone and growth steroids in his system were responsible for his increased sexual desires. In fact the last few days he had be wanking off just about every waking moment…..but he hadn’t thought about it for too long. “So what brings you back in so soon?” Adrian spoke as he fastened a cape around Casey. “Oh, I’m not here for a haircut. I actually came here for some more of that experimental stuff – I think it’s really working!” replied Casey nervously as he saw Adrian staring at his crotch. “You can’t be out of it already, that should have lasted you for weeks!” Adrian said sounding a little alarmed. “Listen man, this stuff really works, I need some more of those samples.” Casey sounded almost apologetic. “Truth is, I don’t have any more. I can get you the retail quantity but I’ll have to charge you for that.” “Maybe I don’t need anymore,” Casey tried to sound hopeful. “You can’t stop once you’ve started, otherwise the reverse happens – you start to loose your hair quicker and the body hair grows in as the head hair falls out.” Adrian tried to explain. “Okay!” Casey returned, “order some in, I’ll find the money somewhere.” “If you say so. Now what are you going to do with all this hair.” “Ah! I wasn’t here for a cut”, Casey stammered noticing Adrian had started running a comb through his long hair. “Well you’ve got enough here for a day of haircuts. Certainly more than the guy before you.” “What sort of haircut was that…I mean was he in the military?” Casey asked trying not to sound too interested. “No – he actually runs a bar near here. He’s a friend of mine.” Adrian smiled, taking a pair of scissors. “It was pretty radical, especially with that shaved bit on top.” Casey answered. “Oh that! That’s called a landing strip.” “Too short for my liking,” said Casey. “Maybe, but you should consider taking some of this length off, it only makes your hair look thinner on top.” Adrian lied. “I…I don’t know. I’ve had long hair for so long now.” Casey said moving his head from side to side so he could see it in the mirror. “Tell you what,” Adrian began, “let me try a few hairstyles on you and take photographs for my shop, that way I can take your hair shorter in stages and you can see which you like as well as it not being quite a shock when done in stages." I don’t know.” Answered Casey. “Let’s say it would be full payment for a bottle of that formula your after.” Adrian smiled knowing that would do the trick. Casey couldn’t believe his luck, free haircuts and saving himself 200 bucks on the hair restorer. “Sure! That sounds fair,” Casey sounded more positive, “but I tell you when to stop.” “Of course Casey – the customer is always right.” Adrian said. “No time like the present.” And with that Adrian snipped off a big chunk of hair. Casey’s eyes widened when he saw the hair fall to the floor. Adrian knew this could be the start of a beautiful relationship. ( or should that be - friendship!). Part Three Casey’s mouth was still wide open as Adrian took his fourth cut with the scissors – removing all the length that Casey had. His thick, blonde hair no longer fell onto his broad shoulders. “Now doesn’t that feel better already? Cooler for a start!” asked Adrian. Casey couldn’t answer at first. He was shocked. He was about to tell Adrian to stop, when Adrian added, “how about a beer? It’s certainly warm enough for one.” And without waiting for a reply, Adrian went out to the back of the shop. Casey kept turning his head left and right. Why was he letting this man take so much hair off. He had to admit, he thought he still looked good, maybe even more masculine. And he could feel the coolness at the back of his neck. Maybe he should let this barber give him a shorter hairstyle. No! He loved his hair too much. He knew the girls were attracted to his blonde locks. “There you go sport! A nice frosty beer.” Adrian handed Casey a pitcher sized glass of frothy beer. “Drink up.” Adrian said as he took a large gulp of beer. Casey was thirsty and as he took a long sip he barely noticed the slight bitter taste. Adrian went to pick up a large set of clippers, Casey hadn’t noticed, he was too busy enjoying the beer – in fact, he had nearly finished it. “Hey! What gives?” suddenly yelled Casey as he felt the cold, vibrations of the clipper teeth on the back of his neck. “I’m just tidying up the back a little, nothing to be worried about son.” Replied Adrian sounding very cheery. Suddenly Casey was aware of his cock growing increasingly hard. “Shit!” he thought to himself, “what caused that?” As the clippers went up the back of his head, he felt more and more turned on. He hoped Adrian hadn’t noticed. ”Looks like someone’s enjoying themselves.” Adrian said, looking at the growing tent in the cape over Casey. “Don’t freak out about it man, a lot of guys get turned on by the clippers. Look, I’ll close up the shop, if it worries you. Then you can feel free to have a good wank.” Casey was ready to tell this fag off when he suddenly thought, ‘why not enjoy myself, the barber wasn’t going to object now was he. In fact he was encouraging it. After locking up, Adrian whipped off the cape exposing Casey’s huge cock. He’d already unzipped his jeans, and was tugging on his meat for all he was worth. Adrian was impressed, Casey’s cock had to be a good 10inches. “Enjoy that while you can?” Adrian said, switching the clippers back on. “What?” asked Casey feeling very relaxed. “Oh, I just mean, while I have no customers.” “Ahhh! Yeah man. That feels great.” Casey cooed, forgetting he didn’t want any clippers used . He didn’t notice Adrian stop and change attachments. He seemed to be going over the same areas he’d just shaved. Casey couldn’t care now. He was about to spew cum all down the front of the chair. Adrian smiled as he worked the clippers over and around the ears. It seemed the beer was working. Soon this boy would be sound asleep in his chair. Adrian knew his boy would be out for awhile – he’d given him a powerful stimulant. Taking a small needle attached to a machine he began to apply it to some individual hair shafts on Casey’s crown. It was an electrolysis needle – the same he had used on himself to create his present male-pattern baldness. As he removed each long hair he noticed the small white root-ball on the end of each hair. He worked quickly, soon- Casey’s crown looked like it was thinning, but you had to look closely. As Adrian intended to leave most of the length on top, Casey would never notice at first. He sprayed the scalp with a special gel, which would mask the stinging on his crown. Adrian finished up the haircut, applying lather to the sides and neck, cleaning up the stubble around the edges. “Come on buddy, wake up?” Adrian started to shake his ‘patient’. “Wh… Where… Oh!” “Must have been the beer!” grinned Adrian as he dusted the fallen hair off Casey’s shoulders. “Yeah! Sorry about that.” Casey then looked down at himself. His cock was still exposed. He quickly went to tuck it back in his jeans, feeling embarrassed. “Thanks for the show too!” Adrian laughed, slapping him on the shoulder. Casey felt very odd. How had he got so turned on, and why had he jerked off in front of this guy? Suddenly he caught sight of himself in the mirror. He had to admit it was hot! The top of his head still was thick with hair, giving a slight flattop look with the short sides. Adrian produced a mirror to show the back. It started as bristles before gradually increasing in thickness. Adrian rubbed a pomade through the locks. It kept the hair in place. “What do you think?”asked Adrian. As he ran his hand up the shaved back of his head. he couldn’t help think this was to short for him, but as he felt the blonde stubble at his neck then felt smooth skin where Adrian had shaved, he couldn’t help but think he looked cool. Part Four (Conclusion) Casey rushed in the door of Adrian’s Barbershop, all out of breath. “Adrian! Quick you’ve got to help me.” It was only three days since Casey had his new haircut, Adrian had been expecting him. “I’ve got to get some more of that ‘hair growth formula’, right away.” “Sure Casey, I’ve got a few bottles in- just arrived this morning. Why so excited?” Adrian tried to sound surprised. “Look at the top of my head, man!” shouted Casey. “I can see scalp!” Adrian noticed Casey didn’t have any gel or wax in his hair so the top was looking thinner, and hanging down the shaved sides. “Get up on the chair and I’ll have a look.” Responded a cheerful Adrian. As Casey climbed into the chair he was too excited to notice Adrian putting the cape around him. “I seem to be even thinner on top man! How come it’s so noticeable all of a sudden?” asked Casey, with his voice starting to take on an angry sound. “Well. It must have been because of the formula. Once you stopped using it the scalp began to go back to it’s hair loss.” Said Adrian, noticing the slight swelling of a potential belly under Casey’s sports shirt. “Okay man! You’ve got to give me all you’ve got!” spat Casey, believing every word the barber said. Adrian had already started to comb the kid’s thick hair, pretending to study the scalp. “We may have caught it in time”, smiled Adrian, “but I think we should fix it up a little, so it wont be so noticeable.” “What have you got in mind?” asked Casey, a little nervously. “Maybe a little more off the top so your hair appears thicker, not too much!” “I don’t want to go too short you know,” stated Casey but the thought of hearing those clippers against his skin started to gnaw at him. Indeed the steroids and growth hormones he’d been fed were working, what he didn’t know was the formula he’d been taking had increased his sexual appetite. That’s why he’d been working his cock over so frequently. “We wont use the clippers son, just the scissors,” replied Adrian. He could see the disappointed look on the kid’s face. “But maybe you’d like me to try the clippers again?” “If you think it’s best,” said Casey trying to sound disinterested. He didn’t want this fag finding out how horny he was getting. Suddenly the sound of heavy duty clippers filled the air, giving no time for Casey to change his mind. Taking his comb, he drew the thick, blonde locks upwards, shearing off the top 2 inches. Casey knew he was loosing a lot of hair – he could see it falling onto his shoulders. Cleverly, Adrian had made sure Casey was turned away from the mirror in front of him. He noticed the commotion happening under the cape and realized Casey was getting off on this whole haircutting. “Not too much man, I don’t want to end up bald!” Casey suddenly spoke up, not caring the barber could see him stroking his cock. ‘Shit!’ he suddenly thought to himself, ‘why not let this guy suck him off when his finished, It’s not like anyone will know.’ So Casey stopped stroking and thought he’d have some pleasure courtesy of this barber. It wasn’t long before Adrian had finished, putting down his clippers, he went to turn Casey towards the mirror. “What do you think?” “It’s kinda short, the shortest it’s ever been.” Said Casey moving his head from side to side. It did give him a definite edginess. Adrian had taken the hair down to a few inches so that it would stand up nice and spiky when wax was applied. “Yeah, but you can hardly notice the thinning now.” Added Adrian. Adrian started to rub some wax through the hair, making it stand up. He had to agree, his hair looked a lot thicker now. Adrian went to remove the cape from around Casey, and found himself looking at Casey’s huge rod, now unencumbered by his jeans. “Would you like a little help with that?” grinned the barber. “If you insist”, returned Casey hardly believing he was letting this guy suck him off. Adrian hungrily sucked on Casey’s 10inch cock, savoring every inch of it – it had been a long time since he’d had any cock himself, orally or anally. Casey couldn’t believe how horny he was feeling – he spewed his cum in no time, Adrian swallowing every last drop. Feeling slightly embarrassed, Casey asked for the formula. “I have to go, you’ve got that stuff for me?” “Sure thing!” Adrian went to get the bottles of the special hair lotion. Casey was getting use to his new shorter hairstyle. It had been a couple of weeks since his visit to the barber – who had kindly given him this hair formula – free of charge. Well he did get a suck of my dick out of it, Casey had conceitedly thought to himself. He’d been using it twice a day, swallowing two tablespoons each time as Adrian had instructed him. He had noticed he was putting on some extra flab but for some reason he didn’t seem too concerned. He just put it down to not going to the gym lately, for some reason he couldn’t get motivated. He kept telling himself he’d get back into it real soon. He consoled himself with masturbating every moment he got. Again he wondered about the increased sex drive but then shrugged it off. His appetite had also increased, four-fold, but again he put this down to his lethargy and concern about his hair loss. It wasn’t until he noticed the hair on his chest he started to get concerned. It was definitely thicker and darker than he remembered. Was it a side-effect of the formula? He decided he’d better call in on Adrian. The next day, Casey was once again in the barbers chair. “Look at all this hair, Adrian! This can’t be normal” protested Casey as he unbuttoned his shirt to expose his chest. Adrian noticed the decreased muscle in Adrian specs, but hardly noticeable due to the thick wiry hair growing all over them. “Well the formula is still in it’s experimental stages – I was told that an increase in all hair growth not just head – was possible.” Said Adrian, trying to appear concerned. “I could get rid of it for you if you like, so it wont grow back.” “What do you mean? Shaving my body hair off?” “I could get rid of it permanently if you like.” Adrian started to sound a little sinister. “Shit man! I’m not into the freaky shit like you.” Casey shot back. “Well you could get a lot hairier, I’m just not sure.” “I like the hair. Makes me look older.” Casey said stroking the hair on his chest. “No problem. Now let’s take a look at your crown. Hmm! Looks like we’ve stopped the loss, I’ll just put some of this ‘hair thickener’ on it. It attaches itself to the hair shaft and plumps it up”. Adrian took a mysterious unlabelled jar from a high shelf on the cupboard. “I used this myself when I started to go bald.” Indeed, Adrian had used it himself, but remember – he wanted to go thin on top. Of course Casey had forgotten about all that. “Can I have some of that stuff?” Casey cheekily asked. “Sure thing – but use it sparingly!” Adrian knew Casey would use way too much. ONE WEEK LATER Casey still hadn’t been near the gym. In fact he didn’t think about it much. For some reason, he thought he was looking better with a little extra weight. However, he was alarmed at how his body hair was increasing. Although it made him look very virile, it seemed to be spreading all over his body. It was also black hair! His body hair had always been blonde. Now it was black – on his legs, arms chest and pubes. He just kept telling himself it was worth it if it meant his head hair would grow. The following morning he went to have his shower and shave, finally putting the ‘hair thickener’ through the hair on top. As he ran his brush through it, he was alarmed to see a lot of blonde hair in the brush. Taking a hand mirror, he looked at the crown area. Sure enough, white scalp was showing through. “How is this possible? You said I had nothing to worry about, that this ‘wonder formula’ would help grow my hair!” ranted Casey as he sat, once again, in Adrian’s barber chair. He’d rushed over as soon as he saw the growing bald spot on his head – even though it was barely noticeable. “Well it is growing hair for you, just not on your head.” Responded Adrian as he pretended to look at Casey’s crown. “Oh yeah! You’re a real comedian. What are you going to do about this? Your responsible! You gave me that experimental shit!” Casey spat back. “Calm down Casey, I’m not sure it was the formula. It could have been the combination of using the thickener. Remember, the hair wasn’t falling out while you were taking the formula. I think if anything, you need to increase the dose.” “What?” Casey’s mouth opened wide. Adrian tried to sound convincing, “start taking the stuff four times a day, that should help stop whatever caused the reaction with the hair thickener. Look, I was just about to have a coffee – how about I make that two?” “Ah, yeah! I did rush out the door this morning – thanks.” Replied Casey, starting to calm down, “ so you really think I’ll get the right results with increasing the dose?” Adrian was already out back getting the coffee - yelling back, “ Oh yes Casey, I can guarantee it.” When he returned with the coffees he was careful to give Casey the right cup. Before finishing the coffee, Casey was out like a light. Adrian went to work immediately. He went to take Casey’s wallet out of his pocket, finding his driver’s license, he copied down the address. Next he placed a set of headphones over his ears connected to a CD player. Switching it on he started the disc, which would play subliminal messages suggestions that Casey’s real sexual appetite could only be satisfied by the same sex. He was more interested in man sex than female! After one hour, Adrian brought Casey back round with the aid of some smelling salts. Obviously, the recording had worked as Casey was sporting a full erection. Before Casey could say anything, Adrian was quick to say something first; “You should try and get more sleep you know – all this hair loss worry is obviously causing sleepless nights!” “Wh? Oh! Casey started to say. “Looks like something else is wide awake,” Adrian added, pointing to Casey’s huge rod. Although he felt groggy, he couldn’t believe how horny he felt – going straight for the zip and letting his dripping cock out of its cage. Starting to stroke it he seemed to be oblivious to Adrian. “Why don’t I take care of that for you,” Adrian smiled and before Casey could answer, had taken the cock fully in his mouth – sucking deep – up and down. Casey moaned, closing his eyes and then taking Adrian’s head in his hands and guiding it up and down increasing the rhythm. Why was he getting so turned on? Then he remembered none of his girlfriends had serviced him like this before. Gay guys sure know what turns guys on – why had he been so reluctant to try this he thought to himself? Suddenly, he felt the top of Adrian’s head – feeling the smoothness of the scalp. It made him even hornier, noting the difference between the horseshoe of buzzed hair, then bare skin. He started to rub his hands all over Adrian’s scalp. Adrian realized the drugs he had been feeding the kid were working better than he ever thought possible. THE FOLLOWING WEEK As it neared 7.30 pm Adrian arrived at Casey’s apartment. When Casey answered the door, Adrian realized the kid had listened to him and increased his daily dose of the ‘special hair growth formula’. He had a very advanced five o’clock shadow, contrasting with his blonde hair. He seemed bulkier too – as he was wearing a loose t-shirt and track pants. Suddenly, Casey was looking at a big guy dressed in leathers. He had a balaclava over his face, but Casey felt there was something familiar about the figure before him. Before he could react, he felt something spray him in the face. That was the last he remembered. Adrian took the slumped figure to his bedroom. Then, laying him on his bed he produced a set of headphones and a portable CD player. Pressing play, Casey wanted to enforce the subliminal messages he had given Casey the previous week. He then went to work – getting his electrolysis needle from out of his duffle bag. Turning it on he started on the crown area, removing the growing hair strand by strand. He worked on an area only about 3 inch in diameter – no need to overdo it yet. Once finished, he was amazed at the whiteness of Casey’s newly created bald patch. He sprayed an analgesic on the area that would mask the soreness of the needle. Next he took some special bonding glue and set about fixing some of the hair strands back on the bald patch. The procedure took about 2 hours, but soon most of the bald patch was hidden by hair – newly glued into place. Adrian left the remaining hairs he hadn’t used, on Casey’s pillow. Turning the CD off which had been continually playing, Adrian went to bring his captive round. As the boys eyes opened his gaze fell upon a shiny object moving in front of his eyes, a familiar voice could be heard but he couldn’t place it. “Casey! Look at the crystal, how shiny and bright it is. It’s making you feel so relaxed, your eyes feel heavy, you need to close them………..” Adrian continued to fully hypnotize Casey. This was something he’d picked up on one of his journeys to the orient. A mystic had picked up on Adrian’s ‘special abilities’ like his mind-reading and suggested he expand on these. Hypnosis was one of the things he learnt through the mysterious Chinese man he met. “You are going to come to Adrian’s Barbershop, tomorrow. You will trust his advice and let him cut your hair, the way he sees fit. When he says ‘Your body hair has gotten way too long,’ you will reply ‘I know but what can I do about it?’ He will reply,’ I can get rid of that nasty old hair.’ As soon as you hear these words you will be under his control, unable to move but feeling totally relaxed, totally trusting of the barber. He is your master from that moment on – do you understand, Casey?” “Yes,” came a sheepish response. “When you hear the words, ‘there, doesn’t that look better slave!’ you will be totally yourself again, unaware the barber has been controlling your mind. But you will want to do as your master instructs, no matter how much you disagree. Now I want you to stop shaving as well – you hate having to shave, you only enjoy it when the barber shaves you, it makes you very horny, you can’t get enough of the blade going over your skin, clearing all the white, creamy lather. Do you understand my instructions?” Adrian added softly, but directly. “Yes.” Adrian was now ready to bring the kid around. “You will awake feeling very relaxed unable to remember what happened tonight, you will gradually feel sleepy again and will sleep until morning. As I count to 3 your eyes will start to open, you will feel fine but still very tired. Adrian packed up his things and went to the door. “1…starting to wake now.” He closed the door slowly behind him, “2…you are nearly awake, unaware of my presence. 3…your eyes are fully opened now.” Adrian softly closed the bedroom door behind him. Casey’s eyes met the ceiling. He remembered some funny dream he’d been having but realized he was still very tired. Rolling over to his side he went back to sleep, unaware as Adrian left the apartment. Casey awoke in the morning feeling very refreshed, but soon cried out as he saw the blonde hair strands on his pillow. He ran to the bathroom to look in the mirror – and to his horror, his bald patch seemed more noticeable than ever. When he arrived at Adrian’s shop he was relieved to find there were no customers waiting. Even though he was angry with Adrian and his ‘magic tonic’ for some reason he seemed to trust him, “What am I going to do? It really looks like I’m going to go bald, at this rate.” Casey moaned as he sat in the chair, once again. Fixing the cape around him, Adrian added, “Maybe you should let me take it a little shorter on top? The thinning will be less obvious.” Even though he wasn’t sure about loosing anymore of his hair, he felt he should agree. It wasn’t long before the clippers were fired up and working their way up the back of Casey’s hair. Adrian noticed the immediate effect it had on the kids cock. “Feel free to enjoy yourself Casey.” He added, no reducing the sides to stubble. “Do you want me to keep using the clippers some more?” “Yeah – please!” Casey said dreamily, unable to understand why he was getting off on this haircut. Adrian changed guards and went back over the areas he’d shaved. “Here, let me get rid of this.” And with that he whipped off the cape, exposing Casey’s oversized genitals. Adrian realized that the growth steroids and added testosterone were giving this boy a great set of cock and balls. ‘Amazing’, he thought to himself. Turning the clippers off, he took a pair of scissors and started to trim the hair on the top. “Have you finished with the clippers already?” Casey suddenly asked, letting go of his penis. “Sure have, unless you want to go shorter?” Adrian grinned continuing on with the cutting. Casey realized he had practically no hair left on the sides – no he didn’t want to go this short , but the barber was trying to help his hair loss. Besides, he was missing the clipper action. Of course, while Adrian had been using the scissors and comb, the hair he’d glued back onto the scalp the previous night was coming out. More and more scalp was showing. He didn’t show this to Casey. Finally, he finished the trimming of the top hairs and produced a mirror. “Man! That’s worse Adrian. I can’t believe how much scalp is showing!” Adrian put down the mirror, “It must have been the thickness of your hair, it hid the extent of the male pattern baldness. Well, I have got an idea, but it’s pretty radical, it means some shaving with the blade. It’s a style they call high’n’tight – very popular in the military.” Casey’s eyes widened, as he remembered the customer Adrian had been working on the previous week. As he had watched that guy get his high’n’tight cut he had become very turned on. In fact, he now noticed his cock dripping precum. “That short!” he said after a moment. “Well, with that sort of cut, no one can tell whether your loosing your hair or not. It is a very masculine cut and certainly wont make you look as old as someone loosing their hair. And if you don’t like it you can always grow it back.” Said Adrian starting up the lather machine without waiting. “I don’t know, man. I’ve never worn my hair that short.” Casey said getting more aroused by the moment. “Trust me, Casey.” “Oh! Sure Adrian.” He replied not knowing why he felt so guided by this man. “You wont be sorry.” And with that, Casey suddenly heard a high pitched sound of edging trimmers. Bringing them up over the thinning crown, Casey was amazed to see them removing the remaining hair on his crown. Adrian brought them up over the top finishing a few inches from the front hairline, creating a very large ‘landing strip’ on top. He left a classic horseshoe of hair finishing just near the crown, only standing an inch high. When Adrian went to smooth the warm lather over the sides and landing strip, Casey was having trouble preventing himself from coming. He knew he had to wait for the ‘straight razor, that was the part he was looking forward to. Slowly the blade glided over the short stubble, leaving smooth white skin in it’s wake. When the blade started on the top of his scalp, Casey couldn’t stop himself from cumming. He shot his load straight onto the top of the counter. Emptying himself fully, he said, “sorry about that, but I couldn’t help myself. That was a amazing.” “I thought you might like that!” replied Adrian. Finishing up, Casey couldn’t get over the ‘new, look. He had to admit it looked hot! And even though he was practically bald – he didn’t look like he had male pattern baldness anymore. He rubbed his hand over the newly shaved skin. “Yeah! Maybe I could get use to this .The skin’s pretty white though.” “Oh! I have just the thing.” Exclaimed Adrian, opening a drawer and producing a small tube. “It’s a Tanning accelerator, works real quick.” He began to rub some of the cream over the newly exposed scalp. “Now, you’ll probably need to come back soon if you decide you want to stick with this cut.” Casey started to wipe himself up with a damp towel that Adrian had offered, “Yeah! I think this style is growing on me.” TWO WEEKS LATER Casey had liked his new haircut, he noticed the extra look from a lot of the guys he passed. But he missed his thick blonde locks, so he had decided to let his hair grow again. The only problem was as the hair grew back in on the top, he could see his ‘bald patch’ again. He was now wearing a very thick, full beard. He liked the hair on his face, although he was surprised how quickly he had grown it. And hadn’t it been blonde? No matter, he liked the look – now what to do about his hair? He felt Adrian would be able to tell him. “Wow! That beards coming along well. I hardly recognize you Casey.” Said Adrian, looking up from his paper as Casey walked into the barbershop. “Wish the hair on my head would match,” replied a slightly dejected Casey. “So, how did you like the ‘high’n’tight? Ready to go there again?” Adrian said cheerfully, offering him the barbers chair. “I liked it for a change, but I think it’s too high maintenance. I think something a little more conservative would be more me.” Casey replied. Do you have any suggestions?” “Well, I could trim your beard for you, firstly and then maybe look at letting you keep a little more hair on your head.” “Yeah! Just nothing too radical, okay?” said Casey starting to feel more at ease. “Sure son.” Adrian assured him. Then he pointed at the top of Casey’s open neck shirt. “Your body hair has gotten way too long.” Casey felt this a strange statement but felt compelled to say, “I know but what can I do about it?” Adrian replied in stronger tone, “I can get rid of that nasty old hair.” Casey’s eyes glazed over, softly he replied “Yes master!” Adrian knew he had Casey in his complete control. It had been a few hours but Adrian had enjoyed every moment, working on his ‘new slave’. “There! Doesn’t that look better slave?” He said surveying the naked boy before him. Though now, Casey didn’t look much like a boy. Casey started to blink, then trying to focus, he saw what appeared to be Adrian in front. As he focused, his mind started to race. What had happened? Shit! That was him in front. Where was his clothing, he looked so fat, how had he let himself get this way. Hang on, he was suddenly aware he was missing all the thick dark body hair he’d gotten use too. The smooth skin magnified how huge his belly had become. As Casey looked towards his face, he hardly recognized himself. His beard had been reduced to a well trimmed goatee, still thick but now jet black. It seemed darker because his face seemed to be more tanned than he remembered, older! His eyebrows were thicker then he remembered but well trimmed. His hair was the same jet black, but the horseshoe of hair had been buzzed down matching the hair that had re-grown on the sides. “What in the hell have you down!” he almost screamed as he found his mouth. “Shut up slave, your ready for phase two. I want you to be fully awake for this part.” Adrian said as he got a leather strap and fastened it around Casey’s smooth chest. Casey tried to struggle but realized his arms and legs were already restrained. Suddenly an unfamiliar sound was heard, a buzzing. Before he could say anything a huge rubber gag of some type was shoved into his protesting mouth. “This is more permanent than the cream I used on your body, but I think your ready for the haircut I feel best suited to your hair loss. A real full on case of male pattern baldness. Known as a number 7 on the Norwood Scale. We’re going to look like twins when I’ve finished with making you bald.” Tears started to form in Casey’s eyes as he felt the needle on the top of his head. “This will teach you to be so full of your self son. The fact is, your not going bald at all. I’ve created all that has happened to you. Since you gave me such a hard time about my baldness, I think it’s only fitting you get to experience real male pattern baldness. And as an added bonus, your looking even older than my 30 years. I think we can edge you up a few more years, and maybe increase that jolly belly.” Casey wished he’d never come into this barbershop, but it was all too late. Even though this barber was changing him he had a strong desire to be with him, trust him. But as the needle killed off more of his hair he felt at odds with himself. This wasn’t what he wanted, or was it. Slowly the electrolysis needle was removing the front hairline, but at the same time he was shocked to see his now hairless cock, fully erect. “Good to see your starting to enjoy this slave! Wait till you feel the smoothness of having no hair on top, and never having to worry about shaving because I know you don’t like shaving. Although I know you enjoy me shaving you with the straight razor so I’ve got that great beard to keep in order.” Adrian laughed as he widened the area of hair removal. Casey looked at the new him in the mirror. He could feel the needle at the back of his head, creating a large dip in baldness. What would he tell his friends? He didn’t know it then but he wouldn’t be seeing his friends again. “Hmm! This is a great look for you slave, I think we might let the sides grow and get you looking like a real geezer. But I think you need some piercings when I’ve finished here, so you’ll really look like my twin brother.” Adrian’s laugh was starting to sound sinister. Casey couldn’t believe his ears. He wasn’t up to anymore needles. Still the electrolysis needle kept buzzing, removing the hair, root and all, and Casey could feel every prick of the needle.

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