#well there's my feelings of accomplishments for the next several weeks done with :p

[notyourordinaryrandomgirl]

Silent Treatment

An Uchiha Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke and Uchiha Sarada one shot

All he has to do whenever he comes back to Konoha is be with his wife and daughter. All he had to do is spend as much quality time with them and make memories, especially Sarada, he should know her more as much as she should know him more.

But no, he has the worst temper ever and the foolishness that he has decided to get mad to both of his girls.

He went home that early evening thinking the dinner he will get to share with his family after a long time, just great home-made food cooked by his wife and all the stories Sarada and Sakura will tell him, however when he went home Sarada is going out with bag on her shoulder as if she is going to sleep somewhere else.

“Sarada,” He called.

His precious daughter looked at him, her eyes slowly rounding in shock and her smile beaming as she ran towards him. Of course, he hugged her with his remaining arm and his one knee on the ground leveling his eyes to Sarada. He tucked the escaped hair to her ear.

“What’s with your bag?”

“I am having a sleepover at Chouji’s tonight, Papa.” She said, with an opened smile on her face.

Sleepover?

“Did you tell Sakura?” On all means, he hoped that she didn’t so he has a reason not to let her yet she nodded with confidence.

His brows furrowed, “Are you sure?”

“Hm, Papa! Before I went home from the Academy I went to Mama’s work and I told her. She agreed,”

Sakura did?

“Though she had a lot of reminders.” She pouted.

Sakura knew he is scheduled to go home today, be that as it may that he told her it is morning and it is night now, nevertheless it still counts as today. She knew how much he wanted to spend time with Sarada as much as he stayed in Konoha following what happened the last time she tailed the Hokage to look for him.

It confuses him why Sakura let Sarada, knowing he will be home. And it is 6pm, she should be home by now. Does this happen often, Sarada alone under the dark skies to the comfort of their home? What if someone tries to kidnap her?

“You can’t go, Sarada.” He said, calmly.

The moment he saw the crease on her forehead, he instantly wants to take it back. His pride just won’t let him. He wants to be with Sarada, as he only will stay for a week this time. The sleepover can happen next week.

“P-Papa? Mama already said yes!”

“But I didn’t. Now, I am telling you that I don’t consent to this.” He tried to hold his daughter’s arm but she stepped backward.

“But we are planning this for weeks now, Papa. I did everything to make Mama agree.” Sarada’s face is in a whole frown, upset and angry.

I sighed, “Sarada, I said no.”

“No, Papa!” Sasuke almost held his chest in shock of Sarada, “I did so many things just to have Mama agree for this night, and you cannot just ruin that by coming home and disagreeing!”

Before Sasuke could react, Sarada was already out of the door. He didn’t fail to see the tears that she shed as she ran outside the house. His fist clenched. He just made her cry again, and just right after he met her for a long time again.

Sasuke is in despair, his elbows on both his knees as he buries his face to his palms. That is the scenario Sakura went home to. A smile is plastered unto her face seeing the figure on their home’s couch.

“Sasuke-kun?”

Slowly, Sasuke raised his head to look at his wife. He knew she was coming. He sensed her chakra, and so did she. Sakura walked to his direction in delight, completely not noticing Sasuke’s mood. Or perhaps, she thought he was just tired.

“Have you eaten? I’m sorry I was stuck in the hospital again, but I can buy some outside. It would only take a minute.” Sakura suggests.

Sasuke exhaled. Sakura leaned back, noticing now the odd behavior of her husband. No matter how tired Sasuke has been whenever he returns, he doesn’t fail to at least have physical contact with her. Be it his hand on her waist or shoulder, or mostly hugging.

“Anata, are you… okay?”

“Is this the time you normally go home?” Sasuke asked, his face unreadable and cold.

Sakura’s brows furrowed in confusion, “Mostly. Why?”

“And Sarada is alone?”

She gets it.

“Sasuke-kun, Sarada is a strong girl.” She softly coaxes him.

“What if someone- someone who wants to get revenge tries to get her?” Sasuke’s question is in slits.

“Sasuke-kun…” Sakura tries to touch his arm to calm him.

Sasuke stood up, avoiding her hand.

“And you let her sleep somewhere else when you know I will go home today? Sakura, what are you even thinking?” He spats every word.

Sakura stands up now, her happy expressions now long gone. She is serious as she gazes back at Sasuke's sharp glares.

“Now, she is mad at me because I told her not to go just because you allowed her!”

“Sasuke…”

The missing suffix didn’t go unnoticed, making Sasuke shift on his feet.

“Sarada’s fine. I am also adamant about it but she assured me that she will be wary of her surroundings and considered that as her training too. I don’t go home at this hour everyday, just once in a while and Sarada knows what to do whenever that happens.”

Sakura sighed, “About that sleepover, I apologized. Sarada told me about that for a long time and ultimately gave her things to accomplish before I could let her. When I received your letter, I told Sarada not to go but she went on saying how am I not granting my promises to her. I just couldn’t break her trust and not trust my words anymore, so I let her. I’m sorry, Sasuke.”

Sasuke blinked. Sakura looked away with pure sadness and a hint of longingness in her green expressive eyes.

“I’ll be at Ino’s tonight.”

Before Sasuke could react, Sakura is past the door and nowhere to be found anywhere. Probably went to Yamanaka already. Sasuke badly wants to kick the couch but he knows it will infuriate Sakura more, though she demolished their entire house last time.

Sakura poured sake to her glass as she stared into nothingness. She feels hollow the longer the time she is here with Ino, and away from Sasuke who just arrived after months. However, their first conversation after a long time makes her upset. She can’t believe Sasuke just spats those words easily to her, he didn’t even give her time to tell him what happened.

“You know, if you’re going to be like this it will be better for you to go home and talk this out to him. The man went home after a long time to his family and the two of you left him alone there because he is an idiot, I’m sure he already contemplated his actions.” Her best friend, Ino Yamanaka, said.

Sakura eyed her, “I thought you said to let him suffer to teach him a lesson?”

“Oh well, my husband just told me something out there in the kitchen.” Ino pointed something in her back, where the kitchen and where her teammate is.

“I’m too upset to face him. I can’t believe he said those words to me. I feel so less as a wife to him and as a mother to Sarada.”

“Hey,” Ino held her hand, “You’re a great mother. You don’t want Sarada to not trust your words anymore, you only did what you think was right. I think Uchiha Sasuke is only sad because he wants to spend time with the two of you and you let her sleep somewhere else.”

“I know that, but it does not hurt me less. Do you think I am overreacting?”

“No, your feelings are valid. You just need to understand each other and communicate.”

Sakura’s thoughts went to her husband. He must have felt so alone and lonely right now, probably angry at himself. She knows him so well. Though there’s a chance he might go to Naruto to not be alone, a huge chance is he is tormenting himself at home.

“I think I will go home now. I’ll probably not just look or talk to him.” She said to Ino.

Ino smirked, “Well, goodluck to that. I hope it doesn’t make him less lonely knowing you’re doing silent treatment to him.”

Sakura smiled. She is sure it will frustrate him but her feelings should be pointed at a cross, and she thinks words are not enough to tell Sasuke that she is not only a wife to him but she is more of a mother to Sarada now and her feelings matter more to her. She will stand to her decision of letting Sarada go.

On the other hand, Sasuke went to Ichiraku to eat quickly. His stomach is rumbling like crazy and it infuriates him that he looks forward to the dinner but here he is, eating the dinner alone. He knows he is at fault as he thinks about the situation, and he blames his wife because the situation doesn’t favor him.

“Oh, Teme~” A voice suddenly appeared.

The owner gushed at his arrival, “Lord Seventh!”

Sasuke did not even look away from his food, determined to finish as soon as possible and go home. Sakura or Sarada might go home and he doesn’t want to waste time making it up to them. He needs to apologize, especially to Sakura. His heart aches with the mere thought of his wife mad at him.

Several customers also greeted the blond Hokage, and some tourists fangirls over him.

He felt a hand tapped him at the back.

“Dobe…” He acknowledges Naruto’s presence, but still does not spare him a glance.

“One of the usual…” Naruto told the owner before going back to the raven-haired man, “Why are you eating here? Did Sakura-chan kick you out?”

“That would be better.” Sasuke mumbled but enough for Naruto to hear.

“What? Do you mean you kick Sakura-chan out of the house? Why are you the one out of the house, then?” The Hokage questions, concerned.

“Idiot. She walked out.” Sasuke told him, then ate another slurp of the noodles.

Naruto scoffed, “What did you do, stupid? You must’ve done something big for her to walk out... Wait! You did not have another affair, don’t you? Because I swear I will break your other arm!”

Sasuke glared at his best friend. He could never do that. The mere presence of the Konoha 11 still shifts him in an uncomfortable feeling and the whole socializing gives him a headache. Sasuke could never even stand women, except of course his wife and slightly the women of Konoha 11. Besides, Sakura is someone he holds dearly with his life. He will choose to die for her. She is his salvation, his light, his irreplaceable partner and his wife.

“I’m not answering that stupid question, Dobe.”

“I know it’s out of you. I’m just teasing you.” Naruto snickered.

His order arrived and he slurped his way through his bowl and even before Sasuke could finish his bowl, Naruto was already on the way for his second. Hn, something never changed.

Sasuke stood up after his meal, “I’m going.”

“Yeah, apologize to Sakura-chan and I am sure she will forgive you. Well I think she already did.” Naruto shrugs.

“Hn,” Sasuke then jumped to the roof all the way to his house.

“Sasuke-san did not leave his payment so I assumed you will pay for him, Lord Seventh.” Ayame told Naruto, smiling.

The blond’s eyes widened, “Teme!”

Sasuke just arrived and settled on the couch to sharpen his kunai, when he felt his wife’s chakra signature on the way to their home. A nervous feeling aroused him but the thing he is sure is he will apologize and make up to her.

The door opened and Sasuke unknowingly stood up to welcome her but he was met with a cold stare before she walked past him going to their shared bedroom.

Is she…?

Sasuke slowly walked up the hallway leaving all his precious kunai to go to his wife. He did not try to hide his footsteps instead he wanted her to know he is on the way to her. Sasuke opened their bedroom as Sakura closed their bathroom’s door.

He is sure he could smell a faint of sake, and knew immediately she had a drink with her best friend. The thing is Sakura could hold her liquor more than anyone he knows, so he is not worried about her drinking but the reason why she drank in the first place which is him.

Sasuke contemplates deeply whether or not to go after her in the bathroom. She might feel invaded, though they are married and have seen more than their naked bodies but this is different. Sakura might want space, nonetheless Sasuke also told himself that he will not waste time and apologized to his wife.

Sakura could sense Sasuke outside the bathroom, the shower pouring into her back. She breathes deeply, trying to calm herself that she should understand her husband but her thoughts always go back to the moment Sasuke did not even try to ask her first before starting to throw those words at her. For her, it says something about their marriage.

Her head snapped when the knob turned all of a sudden.

Sasuke’s breath hitched when he realized that the door was locked. They never lock their bathroom. Whenever they are using it, the other is always welcomed to come inside no matter what the circumstances. There’s no reason for them to hide anything anyways.

Is she that mad…?

“Sa-kura…” Sasuke tried to call on her, but she heed no response.

He sighed, this is becoming more uncomfortable. He is not used to this. Sakura never got mad at him this way, it’s always words and he will listen but now she is silent and he needs to do the words. Those words really hurt her.

Sakura took her time to relax on the water and Sasuke, whatever it may be, will not leave their room and missed the chance of talking this out to her. He could accept any curses, words or punches but not this silence from his wife.

The bathroom door finally opened. Sasuke stood up from the edge of their bed, his hands fisted on his sides. Sakura, on her towel only, did not even try to look at him and went to her cabinet to get some clothes.

“Sakura,” Sasuke called. Should he close the space between him and her back figure, or what? No, he already concluded he will receive her punches just to stop this silent treatment. But the moment he stepped is when she walked to the bathroom again with her clothes.

She will change clothes in the bathroom? Since when did they do that?

It is a tormenting minute for him, when Sakura went out of the bathroom she did not waste time on anything or anyone. She went to her side of the bed and laid down, with her back on him.

Sasuke can only watch her, when he decided to shower himself to cuddle his wife after and maybe he could apologize. He can’t believe his first night at home after months of longing for it will be like this.

His daughter is in another house sleeping while mad at him, and his wife is not speaking to him.

When he went out of the bathroom and changed to his sleepwear, he slowly laid beside his wife. Although his wife’s back is on him and she is almost at the edge of their bed, it only takes an arm wide for him to reach her. He scooted closer to her, his hand already on her waist.

“Go to sleep, Sasuke.” Her cold voice has frozen him.

“I-I am.” He stuttered. Uchiha Sasuke stuttered!

“Then sleep on your side. I am tired.”

A familiar pain shoots at him. Tired? What kind of tiredness?

“I’m sorry… for everything.” He whispered, hoping to melt her coldness.

He is met with silence. Sasuke laid on his back and stared at the ceiling, with his heavy heart.

“You said we will never sleep if we are not okay.” He mumbled to himself feeling so dejected and hopeless. He made plans for his stay this time for her, and he is sure this is not one of them.

Sleep is far for Sasuke, he only shifts his look to the ceiling to his wife’s back. She must’ve been really tired with the hospital and instead of easing it out for her, he did the opposite. His eyes darted on their window, the sun almost peaking and rising.

Sasuke gives up his sleep and proceeds to the kitchen. Instead of moping he probably should make breakfast for her for once. His thoughts went to the time he isn’t here and Sakura needs to wake up early to pack lunch for Sarada while she is also tired from her hospital shifts.

I am taking her for granted again.

He decided to cook some eggs and something else available in their kitchen. He is so busy that when the door of their house opened, it made him jump. Who was it? It’s only 5:00am, who goes to their home without even knocking at this hour today?

Although all questions were answered when his daughter appeared. She has a solemn look on her face. Her hands were on her front clasped together. She’s looking away while she stands outside the kitchen but enough for him to fully see her.

“Sarada, you’re home.” Sasuke said, “Good morning. I cooked breakfast.”

“Papa,” She called. Sasuke gave her his full attention. “I’m sorry for walking out on you yesterday. I didn’t mean it but I am just so upset and I am sorry that I didn’t put it on your point of view. I know now that you only wanted to spend as much time with me now that you’re home. I’m so so-”

Sarada stopped when his father crouched down and using his only arm, he wrapped it around her and embraced her.

“No, Sarada. I’m sorry, for everything.”

Sarada frowned, “But Papa-”

“It’s okay.”

She embraced him back before she pulled away, “Papa, why do I smell something burning?”

The two were in the kitchen waiting for Sakura to wake up. Sasuke offers Sarada to eat first since she needs to go later for his morning training but his daughter insists on waiting for her Mama. He checked the time and it’s almost 6am and he knows that anytime Sakura will wake up.

“Papa, do you think Mama will talk to you after this breakfast?” Sarada asked him.

Sasuke took the burden of telling his daughter the situation he is in. Of course, his daughter understands her mother’s reaction to Papa, but she also knows her Papa’s side. All she wants is for the two to reconcile since her Papa will only be here for a week.

“I don’t know. She is stubborn, but I hope so.” He admits.

Sarada felt happy seeing his father agitated to her Mama. He looked so nervous because Mama was not talking to him. It felt nice to see him as a father in the house today.

To Sasuke, this is probably the most uncomfortable he ever felt inside this house. The house is where he is the most comfortable at, where he can freely express himself to his wife and daughter. However, since he acted like a jerk he knew he had all the right to be uncomfortable since Sakura rarely did not talk to him. They always reconcile at the end of the day. This is the first time in their marriage that he felt heavy sleeping at their home.

“Papa, calm down.”

“Hn,” But Sasuke can’t stop feeling nervous because he is. Sarada watched him, and if his eyes weren't playing to him he could see the amusement in it.

The door creaked open, making Sasuke abruptly stand up and turned the coffee maker on for her. He waited for her to appear and she did. She is all prepped up for her day at the hospital.

“Mama, good morning!” Sarada greeted her mother.

“Oh Sarada, you arrived early? Good morning.” Sakura smiled at her daughter. She still did not see his husband, but when she turned she saw him warily watching her. He is standing beside the island where a coffee is being brewed.

“Papa prepared breakfast for us today! Let’s eat all together, Mama.” Sarada cheerily said.

“Your Papa did?” Sakura looked from her daughter to his husband. Her eyes shift to the feast on their dining table. Sasuke prepared all this early? The one who loves to sleep in?

Sarada nodded with a grin, “He did. It looked so delicious, isn’t Mama?”

“It is. Have you eaten, Sarada?” Sakura asked. She slowly went to her place and sat at the chair in front of the feast.

“Not yet, Mama. I think we all should eat together since Papa is here!” Sarada seated beside her mother, “Papa, the coffee!”

Sasuke jumped and quickly got Sakura’s coffee, then put his own next. He placed the mug beside her. His eyes did not leave her.

“Your favorite.” He murmured.

“Thank you, Sasuke.” Her wife almost whispered the words. Sarada jumped out of her chair and went to the refrigerator, probably getting her milk.

“Your welcome, Anata.” Sasuke took the chance to be out of their daughter’s hearing, and said her endearment for him.

Sakura looked baffled. She looked at his husband.

“I’m sorry…” Sasuke whispered.

Sakura smiled. Her hand went on top of Sasuke’s hand on the table.

“You’re forgiven, Anata. Good morning.”

“Good morning, Sakura.” He mumbled. Sasuke looked at her daughter who’s back was at them, she’s taking her time on her milk huh?

Sasuke leaned forward and captured her wife’s lips on a quick but full mouthed kiss. Sakura smiled after and grinned.

“Are you really Sasuke-kun?” She teased.

Sasuke stands straight, “Tch, stop it.”

He went to get his coffee, but the moment he turned his back from his wife a smile played on his lips. Unfortunately, he caught his daughter’s smirking at him and he went back frowning.

“I love mornings like this, don’t you Mama?” Sarada said, going back to the table. Sasuke followed and joined his family on their breakfast as a family.

[atinydise]

Ateez reacting to their s/o asking their a tricky question

❦ Genre: Fluff.

❦ Pairing: OT8.

❦ Word count: 2k7.

❦ A/N: Pretty short writing, but I’ve been inspired for this today so here it is! Hope you will like it! 🤍 Stay all healthy! 🦋

HONGJOONG: “If you needed to choose between your career or me? What would you choose?”

“What about this?” Asked Hongjoong, trying to find the right beat for the song’s instrumental. “It sounds like the previous one.” You replied lazily, sitting on the couch. “But it fits the whole thing well.” “I’m not sure... I’m not really convinced by it.” “You are so dedicated to your productions. It makes me feel a little bit jealous sometimes.” You claimed, eyes still glued on your phone. “Come on I grant you more time nowadays.” You raised a brow and stared at your boyfriend’s back. “If you mean these 5 more minutes… than spoiler... it’s not enough for the clingy girl that I am.” “Okay I got it.” He giggled. “Give me 15 minutes and I’ll stop for the rest of the day. Deal?” “Okay deal.” You replied satisfied.

You both focused back on your screen, even if yours was an Instagram feed. When suddenly a question popped in your mind. “Joongie?” You called him nicely. “Hum? What is it girl? I’m almost done.” “I have a question.” “Tell me.” He said without looking at you. “If you needed to choose between your career or me? What would you choose?” Hongjoong went tense right before you finished to talk. The boys told him that he should have been ready for this type of questions, but he never thought you would ask one for real. He stared right at his computer screen in front of him. He needed to answer quickly because you might start to get mad. “Huh... well...” he coughed. “That’s a simple question of course.” “Really? Then what would you choose?” You insisted. “Since you are my muse, I can’t write music or produce any beat. So, I need you.” He replied taking care at each word which was coming out of his mouth. “Oh. Cute. Thank you.” You said before taking back your attention on your phone. Hongjoong couldn’t believe it. All this panic just for a “cute” and “thank you”? “Women...” he whispered before playing again with his production.

SEONGHWA: “Why did you choose me over your ex?”

“You are so focused on your ‘cleaning things’.” You stated from the bed. “Cleaning things?” He repeated. “It’s a healing time for me Y/N.” “And that’s make you even more weird.” You teased him. “Then maybe, the weirdo that I am shouldn’t clean your apartment again.” He winked, starting to remove his plastic gloves. “Wow wow wow! I was kidding!” You stopped him. Seonghwa smirked, he knew you would change your mind. “Jeez... I really need to teach you offbeat humor.” “Help me instead.” He suggested even though he knew you wouldn’t do it. “Nevermind, you are so funny!” You slipped under the sheets. Seonghwa went back to his cleaning session. For sure his favorite think was to clean a Sunday morning with your being around. It was a peaceful atmosphere.

“Babe?” You asked shyly, just showing the half of your face. “Yes. Have you changed your mind?” He smiled. “Actually no. It’s just that I’m curious about one thing?” You said more seriously. “What is it?” He focused on you. “Why did you choose me over your ex?” Seonghwa’s brain went from relaxation to the warning mode. He stared at the sponge in his hand, not daring to make an eye-contact with you. “I know, it’s unexpected but my brain really wants to know how someone like me could interest someone like you.” “W-well.” He stuttered. “In fact, it should be the opposite.” Not understanding what he meant, you furrowed your eyebrows. Just this expression sent him in a panic mode. “I mean... I’m the luckiest one between both of us. There are not many girls who would stay with me because of my busy schedule. Like when I can’t hang out with you for several months or even miss our anniversary date. So… thank you for being this comprehensive and kind.” He smiled. “And my ex was a big mistake. I don’t even consider her as an ex-girlfriend. So, no matter what, it will forever be you over everything else in this world.” He finished. When he finally looked at you, he only spotted your teary eyes. “Are you crying?” He smiled. “No... I have a dust in my eye.” You lied. “Yes sure. Both eyes?” “Just clean the room better than this. So many dusts.” You said before bidding once again under the bed. “I guess my answer wasn’t that bad.” He congratulated himself.

YUNHO: “Why did you choose me over your ex?”

A little walk outside with your boyfriend was the thing you needed the most right now. Yunho’s week has been stressful and your boss seemed like a tyrant today. Both of you needed to escape in your own little world otherwise you would end crazy. “You are not cold Y/N?” Made sure your boyfriend. You pouted when you beard him using your name. “I had a terrible day, and you call me ‘Y/N’?” Yunho giggled at your face expression. “Sorry. You are not cold... my love?” A smile immediately appeared on your face. “No, thank you Yunho.” “Hey!” He laughed. “Don’t call me Yunho when I gave you little cute names.” “That’s what you deserve.” “Even though that’s unfair… that’s one reason of why I love you.” Happily, you wrapped your arms around his. A little bit snuggling next to him. “By the way...” you started. “How do you know I was ‘the one’?” Yunho almost tripped on his foot. “Ohw! Take care idiot!” You helped him to gain his weight back. He giggled embarrassedly, secretly hoping that you talk about something else. “So? How did you know it?” You asked once again.

Mission failed.

“P-probably like you. When you knew that I was one.” He tried to reverse the situation. “Well for me I had this feeling! It’s like my brain knew it before my heart.” “Yes!” He snapped. “It’s exactly the same for me.” “Oh really?” You smiled. Yunho nodded, not wanting to dive more in this conversation. “Did you have this urge craving for food and for love too?” You asked. “Sure!” He lied again. “So… this is destiny.” You claimed, tugging on his arm. “Exactly.” He concluded. “Destiny that I met a liar like you.” “Completely!” Then he realized. “Hold up? A liar?” You only tossed him with a single stare and continued to walk by your own. “Y/N! No- Babe! Wait for me!” He ran after you before wrapping his arm around your shoulders. You wouldn’t stay mad for long.

YEOSANG: “Would you still love me if I was different?”

“For God’s Sake Y/N, please pick a dress.” “Yeosang, this is an important event I can’t wear something picked in 2 seconds.” “You are just going to meet my friends... they won’t even look at your outfit.” “Then should I go there naked?” You asked sarcastically. Yeosang stared at you for 5 longs seconds before turning back to fix his shirt in the mirror. “Pick one instead of saying non-sense.” “The red one is cute but maybe a little bit too sexy for a casual meeting.” “Then pick the blue one.” He sighed. “But the blue one might be a little bit too casual.” You said. “Oh gosh Y/N.” “Oh, come on! It’s easy for you! You look good in everything, even a trash bag.” You claimed jealously. Before you finish mad (more than right now), Yeosang gave up. “Wear what you want then.” He said before plopping down on the bed.

You felt a bit bad and mad for being insecure and taking so long just to pick an outfit. “Would you still love me if I was different?” You asked, grabbing the blue dress. “Hell no.” He instantly replied. “No?!” You turned back. “I mean yes!” He sat correctly with a big smile. “You are a bad liar Yeosang.” Your boyfriend bit his lip, trying to rectify his mistake. “I meant that I fell in love with you for who you are right now. If you were a little bit more different, it wouldn’t be ‘you’ anymore.” You tilted your head, “but why if I was just a little bit more confident or stuff like that?” “It wouldn’t be you.” He replied. “When we met, I loved the insecure side that you had because I was in the same mind.” “So… we are kind of working on this… together?” Yeosang nodded, agreeing with you. “Well...” you looked at your reflection in the mirror. “It’s going to be the blue one.” “Hallelujah.” Claimed your boyfriend.

SAN: “Why do you love me?”

“It’s Y/N turn!” Claimed Wooyoung next to you. “Again?” You grunted. “Truth or dare young lady?” Asked Yunho. “Truth.” “Come on you are not funny.” Pouted San. “Y’all crazy! If I choose dare and you are going to ask me to run naked in the street.” “She’s not wrong.” Admitted Wooyoung picking a candy. “So, truth.” “Okay then... of what or how women think?” You scoffed, “that’s a girl secret.” “Then do we need to give her a pledge?” Asked Mingi. “No no no okay.” You changed your mind. “So?” “We think exactly like you. Not always these girlies stereotypes, like shopping and nails.” You explained. “Food?” “Yes, we think about food a lot. Even too much.” “And sex?” Asked San. “Of course! We have our moments too.” You admitted. “Okay next.” Said Seonghwa changing right away the conversation. “San?” “Truth.” “And I’m no fun Huh?” San was making an excuse while you were hardly thinking about a though question. What could make San flustered or embarrassed? “Okay!” You smiled enthusiastically. “Why-” you paused. “Do you love me?” All the boys around whistled while poking San’s body to tease him. “W-what kind of question is that?” He stuttered.

Mission accomplished for you. 1-0 for you.

“Answer it or you are going to have a pledge.” Smirked Wooyoung. San was sweating. This question was hard to answer because he knows you would end being mad, no matter what. There was no escape, and his teammate were not being helpful at all. “So?” Repeated Seonghwa, enjoying the situation too. “I-I-” he started stuttering a bit, ignoring what to do or where to start. You loved to see him this way. You were really appreciating every second of it. “Pledge.” He finally said. For sure, you would be mad, but it was the only solution he had right now. “Okay then tell us why you love Y/N. 3 things.” “I hate all of you.”

MINGI: “When do you think we will get married Mingi?”

“Hello lovebirds.” Greeted Yunho before plopping down on the sofa. “Hello!” You replied back. “How was your day?” “Nobody ever told me how acting was tiring.” He yawned. “More tiring than practicing all day?” Asked your boyfriend, head resting on your laps. “Hum... no but still. There’s so many scripts to remember, so many facial expression...” he enumerated. “Come on... I’m pretty sure you are enjoying it.” You claimed. “I do. It’s just exhausting for a beginner, at least.”

You smiled at Yunho, he had so much acting opportunities these times. People started to see him as a talented young boy and not only as a Kpop idol. “And you lovebirds? How was your day?” He asked politely. “Pretty good we went to my friend’s wedding ceremony. It was pretty cool.” He replied. “Oh yeah, true.” He smiled the tall guy. “And how did you find it Mingi.” “Less bad than I expected.” He replied still staring at the TV. “He loved the buffet too.” You giggled. “Wedding’s food is the B.E.S.T!” Admitted Yunho. “I’m more impatient for the food that he ceremony itself.” “So true!” You clapped. “Don’t worry we will prepare a good one for our wedding.” Yunho and Mingi exchanged a quick glance. “When do you think we will get married Mingi?” Your boyfriend gave his friend a quick stare saying “save me” or “say something” but Yunho was clearly enjoying the situation. “Mingi?” “We are a bit too young no? I- I mean in maybe 3 years okay b-but now... it’s-” Mingi looked at every expression on your face and right now, you were completely in the incomprehension one. “Okay it’s late! Let’s go to sleep!” He changed the conversation. Your boyfriend rushed to turn the off the TV and run to his bedroom. “Did he-” you paused. “Run away? Totally.” Finished Yunho.

WOOYOUNG: “What do you love about me?”

“Do you know what you are going to eat?” Asked your boyfriend, putting down the menu. “Everything here looks so tasty.” You whined. “Take everything you want babe.” Smiled Wooyoung. “Do you want me to spend all of your money?” “Why not.” He smiled. “Okay Sir.” You stuck your tongue out at him. Finally, after taking a year to order your food, you finally chose your favorite Korean meal. When the waiter left, you focused back on your boyfriend. “So why did you choose this restaurant for the Valentine’s Day?” “Because you are not really into the fancy restaurants?” “True.” You smiled. “You know me so well.” “After 2 years of dating. I better know you correctly.” He held your hand on the table. “Already 2 years wow.” You stared at your intertwined fingers. “Time goes fast huh?” “Really fast.” He smirked at you.

“By the way, I never really asked this but, what do you love about me?” Wooyoung blinked dumbly. It’s like the left part of his brain already had the answer, while the right side was aware of the tension this question could bring. “What do I love?” He repeated, hoping you changed your mind. “Yeah.” You confirmed. “Well- Haha…-” he grunted. “There’s so many things you know.” “Like what?” You insisted wanting more details. “Like what?” He repeated again. “Well, you know! Your personality, ‘youreverythingbodyeyesandstufflikethis’.” He muttered, trying to talk quickly so you couldn’t understand. “My what?” Wooyoung stared at his phone next to his arm, thinking about a way to escape this situation. He removed his grip off your hand and grabbed his phone. “여보세요*?” “Your phone didn’t ring. At all.” You crossed your arms around on your chest. “Ah Yunho! Is it urgent because I’m with Y/N right now?” “Wooyoung.” You called him. “Sorry I will need to take this call outside.” Lied your boyfriend, standing up before leaving the restaurant. “Wait for me here!” “You are the biggest coward ever,” you yelled before he could exit.

*여보세요/Yeoboseyo: hi/allo in korean.

JONGHO: “When are you going to introduce me to your parents?”

“Y/N would never ask these types of questions.” Sighed Jongho. “Never?” Repeated Hongjoong. “You are ignoring a lot of things about girls.” “Please, the vision you have about girls is so cliché.” “He’s still naive and innocent. Let him see the real side of Y/N, by himself.” Suggested Yeosang. “I know Y/N well.” He rolled his eyes. All the boys were gathered around a good diner in the new kitchen at the dorm. The casual conversation they had at the beginning, ended in an interview of Jongho, to learn a little bit more about you. All the eldest boys acted like they were dating experts, but only few of them have been in a relationship before. “Stop making assumptions about Y/N, she’s not like the other girls.” Just when he finished to talk, his phone buzzed on the table. “Oh Y/N!” Said Mingi pointing the phone. “She probably felt that we were talking about her.” “Pick up and put the speaker so we could see if she’s asking you these types of questions.” Challenged Seonghwa. “Good. I will prove you she’s totally cool.”

Completely sure of him, Jongho executed what his Hyung suggested. “Hello babe,” you greeted him. “Hello love, are you okay?” Asked Jongho, eating his hamburger at the same time. “Pretty good. Hyebin just left so I’m all alone.” “Do you want me to come a bit later?” “Yes, sure why not!” You accepted. “But actually... I have a question.” All the members smirked at the maknae. “It’s starting to be interesting.” Whispered Hongjoong. “What is it love?” Gulped Jongho. “Hyebin told me how she introduced her girlfriend to her parents and then... I was curious to know… when are you going to introduce me to your parents?” Jongho’s face decomposed while the entire team were high fiving each other. “Okay maybe it’s too early. No pressure but I was just wondering.” You reassured him. “I call you back, there’s a fire in the dorm.” Lied Jongho. “Huh wait for re-?” When he hung up, he felt seven stares on him. “I don’t want to hear anything from one of you.” He threatened them. “It was just a random question okay? She’s different.” “Yes sure, if you say, fireman.” Said San, patting his back.

[bigsnzstanacct]

King’s New Allergy Part 4

This is wildly overwritten but at least I’m writing...? Here is the link to the other chapters of this story lmao. Of course it is also on le blue forum. After this chapter there is one more to conclude the story (which is already partially written!) and then there’s a chance I’ll eventually write an aggressively porn-y epilogue. okay byeeeeeeee!

------

My nose. My damned nose. By all the gods old and new, my insatiable, insufferable, intolerable, insistent, itchy, tickly, twitching, torurous nose!

“So the… th-thehhhh… the harvest in the W-weehhhhh… Western… -sniff-”

I was fighting.  I was fighting as hard as I’d ever fought anything. Harder. But to do battle against a swordsman, a sorceror, a monster, a ghost… that was child’s play. For that I had tools and training. Years of training in weapons and fighting. For this meeting too: years of training in diplomacy, in leadership. But none of that training involved a struggle to the death against your own damned nose!

“In the W-wehhhh… weeeeeeehhHHHH…”

Through narrowing eyes, I saw their faces: full of disapproval, fear, hands itching to clap to their ears, legs twitching to hide under the table, as though I really were a storm unto myself, and in taking cover, they might be spared the worst. Perhaps if I simply allowed the sneeze to come, it might not be so monstrous but… I could not. I could not bring myself to succumb so easily, to give in, to be weak. I chanced putting a finger beneath my nose. It was a desperate failsafe that had served at least a few times, but in truth I could never resist for long. I could no more resist these violent eruptions than the sky, overcharged with energy, could resist the lightning arcing across the sky, or the terrible roar of the thunder in response.

“Oh gods… I’m sahhhh.. s-ssaahhhhhh… s-sorreeehhhhhHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRSSSSCCCHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! AnothhheeEERRRYYYYYYYYAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! hehhhh… hh-hehhhhhh… HUUUH! HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

They came, thick, fast and violent. Each one felt like it took all my strength, as though I couldn’t help but through the full weight of my body—no, the full weight of the castle herself into each sneeze. And then, for a moment…

Bliss.

No itch, no tickle, no torture. As terrible as they were, as much as they terrorized my meeting, my castle, my citizens, my countryside… there was a guilty, fiendish part of me that felt such magnificent release and relief with each great roar that was loosed from my mouth and nose. Drained, too, of course. Exhausted as though I’d climbed a mountain after practically each sneeze, let alone a whole terrible fit of them like I’d done. But also, utterly and simply delighted.

And then I opened my eyes and the embarrassment flooded in, and then, barely a split-second later, the tiny, teasing, barely-perceptible blossom of the itch that presaged another sneeze. The urge to sneeze again was following closer and closer on the glorious feeling of release and relief. When this all started I could go half the day without a sneezing fit. Then hours. Now barely minutes. But perhaps if I didn’t think about it, if I just barrelled through and ignored the tickle… maybe it would leave me alone.

“My apologies again, gentlemen.” I said, and quickly, before anyone could comment upon my nose: “Now, the Western harvest is among the best we’ve had in some years, which means our levy at the current rate should be -sniff!-” the itch already was worming its way up. But I could hold out still. I could ignore it.

“At the current rate should be more than sufficient to provide for capitol needs, y-yes Minister?”

The Minister of the Exchequer tried to discreetly rub at his ears, but it was obvious what he was doing, trying to clear his head from my sneezing long enough to focus on what I was saying. I couldn’t bear it.

“Yes! It will be sufficient, I don’t need you to check my arithmetic. You may repohhh… re-re…” I gave a hard sniff, and allowed myself  a quick rub at the underside of my nose with the heel of my palm. It was an embarrassing, almost childish gesture but I was far beyond caring about small embarrassments. I had much, much larger mortifications to be concerned with.

“Youmayreportbackifneedsbe!” I barrelled out, knowing the tickle was already roused, and at any moment could turn the act of speech into feat as tricky as any in my storied questing career.

“What is the next item on the ahhh… hahhh…” my eyes swam, unfocused for a moment. Hands crept up towards ears, dread lining in every face of the council. I could feel my knights tensing behind me, as though bracing for an explosion, hoping not to be knocked off their feet. The sneeze wasn’t even ready, it would play with me for several more moment yet. It reminded me of nothing more than sparring with the quartermaster as a boy: putting up a valiant fight, certain I was on the edge of victory… only to find he was only playing a game with me. He would always win.

“The next agenda item!” I said, slamming a fist down on the table. I wasn’t angry with the council, and I hope they knew that, but. It was all so damned frustrating… I couldn’t speak without terrifying my council, not with my words but with the threat of my nose. Of all the mortifying.

“Well my lord, we have not admitted petitioners in over three weeks, owing to your condition. I was informed the Royal Physician as well as the, ah, King’s Right Hand will be pursuing some possibilities for treatment, but the peo---”

“Damn the conditiiIiiiHHHHHH… HHIIIHHHHHH!!” May noses and sneezes be damned by all the gods old and new! The urge was already prickling in my nose, fanning its way towards inevitability, as though to mock me for cursing it. By all the gods, I should be able to see my people, to hear their complaints and all because of my god’s damned lack of control, I couldn’t even do that… I felt furious as a boy, looking up at the quartermaster teary-eyed with rage at losing, at humiliation. And here I was again, losing. And to a thrice damned tickle in my thrice damned nose…!

My nose, on which the whole room hyperfocused, as intent upon it as I’d ever been on any foe on the battlefield. Every twitch garnered a flinch, every skipped breath a skipped heartbeat. My damned sneezes could be heard throughout the entire castle, throughout the entire town. I was just waiting for someone to announce they’d heard me sneeze at the furthest edges of the regions, echoing off the Black Mountains or the White Cliffs, resounding across oceans…

With all that, being so close to my sneeze must have been a form of auditory torture. And I couldn’t put my advisors through that. Not any longer. And not with the vague but unmistakable sense I felt that what was beginning to well up in me would be a fit to rival any I’d suffered since I came down with this accursed, irreparable allergy, this implacable need that seemed to be unmoved by any force physical or magical, on earth or in the realms above. I was going to sneeze, and the fit would leave me exhausted and the whole castle ringing, I knew. But the urge itself was small now, my winds gathering strength for the one man hurricane they would turn me into. What a curse, to make of a king a slave to his own body. I was disgusted with myself. And yet, I could no more stop the force building within me than I could will the rising sun to set or still the flowing tide.

This council meeting was accomplishing nothing. And dammit, I needed to sneeze.

Abruptly, I pushed back from the chair. Everyone rose with me. “Ladies and gentlemen, you must excuse me, I’m a-afraid… oh I…” I was doing my best to keep up a kingly facade but already I was faltering before the effort of damming back the torrent of sneezes that seemed to be pressing up against each other, jockeying for position, each demanding to be the first to erupt out of me. “oh gods, I have to sneeze. It’s going to be a terrible fit and I… Iahhhhhh… I m-muuhhhhh��� I must r-repair to my… my chahhhhHHHHH… hAHHHHHHHHHHHH… w-with m-mehhhh…!”

I ordered my retinue to follow me, but I’m sure a number of them did so quite reluctantly, and frankly I couldn’t blame them. What I felt coming seemed like a sneeze to beat all sneezes, an itch to beat all itches, nothing which could soothed, calmed, or controlled by a little finger under the nose, a few rough rubs. I’d asked my former manservant more than once about his… powers. How he felt all the hidden powers of the earth welling up through him, the connection to the secret side of everything, how he could make it shimmer and dance. I felt the same sense  of something beyond myself intruding upon me, but it was not under my control. I was beneath its thumb, dancing like a marionette on a string in miserable abasement to, of all things, a tickle in my nose.

“Someone… someone please… huhhhh… p-put your f-finger… under…”

It was pathetic. At least I’d managed to get well out of the way of the council chambers before I succumbed. I’d only embarrassed myself like this once or twice before, but if this went on much longer, I’d have to appoint a knight to do this for me full time, to press and pinch and wrangle my nose in a way my own hands could no longer suffice. Perhaps that way I could at least forestall the sneezes long enough to do any of the duties of a king.

But for now, my only goal was fighting off the absolutely monstrous fit I felt brewing for a few more moments, until I could at least reach my chamber. At least then I could succumb in private, although such succumbing was never private. Before the curse even, I blushed to think a vigorous sneeze might echo through the castle, and I never could dam them back. But under the curse now… all of the castle, all of the city heard my every falter. The sound of my failure resounding back at me from every brick in the kingdom.

The Captain of the Guard slid a thick finger under my nose, and ever so imperceptibly the urge diminished. He pushed upward, hard. And all I could do was blink at him in acknowledgement. At this point a single word would send it all crashing down.

“Knights dismissed! I will escort the King further.” I heard his voice ringing out, and I was as grateful as I’d ever been for him. At least the knights would be spared the very worst. The captain alone would be with me to the eruptive end.

“Not much further now, sire. Please, hold out!” And there was an uncertainty or even... a fear in his voice. It wasn't as if I'd never heard such fear from the Captain of the Guard before. We had quested together, season after season. But this tone of voice ought to be reserved for a onrushing army or a sleeping dragon. Surely there was no reason to steel himself so before my nose?

“T-t-traahhHHHH… tr-trying…” I choked out, scrunching my nose as aggressively as I could, as though if my nostrils recoiled from the irritation, I might dodge the sneeze—no, sneezes—altogether.

And suddenly, unimaginably, the urge… exploded.

It was as if I had never needed to sneeze before in my life. Tears sprang to my eyes, and the simmering flame of the urge became a wild forest fire. Helplessly, I jerked away from the Captain, scrubbing desperately at my nose even as the heavy breaths ripped themselves from me…

“HHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHH… HUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…”

“My King, not yet!” the Captain insisted. Not to be deterred, he came up behind me and tried to guide me, but I was surrendered to the sneeze, overpowered by the urge, defeated by the invisible twinging need. He was practically pushing me as the sneeze swelled and swelled.

“HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… UUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…”

It swelled more and MORE, feeling more ferocious than any of my previous sneezes. I felt like a volcano on the precipice of eruption, as though my winds were swirling and turning and twisting and braiding their way towards tornadic devastation, as though I were not only a a lightning strike but indeed a whole storm set loose to wreak havoc across the land.

“Nearly there, nearly there, please sire you musn't give in…”

But it was too late.

“AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSCHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” I exploded, and it was as though… some sort of… power erupted from me, from my mouth and nose from… from everywhere. The sneezes had always been incredibly loud but now tapestries on the wall flapped, armor rattled, it sounded as though something fell but I couldn’t tell because before I could so much as think, the next sneeze was already erupting: “HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO-AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUHHHH!!!! AARRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! HehHHHHHHH… HEEEEEYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTSSSCCCHHHHHHHHHEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! YYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!”

On and on and on the sneezes came, more and more violent, “volume” not even describing what I felt bursting from me. Somewhere, dimly, I heard the sounds of something falling over, and yet still the steady pressure of the Captain at my back, finally…

“Sir, your chamber… We must not let them see you!”

Whether I was able to exert some minimal effort even subdued by my sneeze attack, or whether the Captain just shoved me, somehow I stumbled into the chamber, still sneezing relentlessly, barely heard the door slam behind me, helpless to the urge. My whole world narrowed to my nose, and it was as though some block within me surrendered and the sneezes roared out of me, louder and more violent than ever before again and again and again…

I could not tell how long it had been when the fit finally ended. I felt… amazing. Warm and sated. Entirely itch-free, as though I’d never need to sneeze again in my life. Practically glowing. Maybe that was it? Maybe that monster of a fit had at last blown the insufferable urge away for good? But the moment of euphoria lasted barely an instant. I heard a… squeak? and I opened my eyes to find… him. The sorcerer. His robes and hair disheveled, and then, the room… The bed was without sheets. The mattress ripped, feathers piled against the stone wall, piled up with the rugs, half my clothes, my pillows, my chairs…

“Wh-what… what did I… what did I do?” I asked, panting and mortified.

He stood, mortified, as red as I’d seen him in years. His mouth agape. “I—I… I—I have to go!” He exclaimed, and rushed from the room.

Had I hurt him? Scared him? Surely he of all the denizens of the castle had no reason to fear… anyone. But as I cast my eyes across the disheveled, half-wrecked room, I began to see what he saw. Nothing to fear. But something to pity. An out-of-control freak. Certainly no King.

And even then, with a trickle of fear running down my spine… I began to feel the urge to sneeze again, sputtering back to life. I sat on my bed, feeling the weakened timbers sputter and creak with my weight, head in hands.

“By all the gods…”

[sablelab]

Covert Operations - Chapter 144

SYNOPSIS: Madeline returns to Section One and gives Fergus some tasks to do to set things in motion before she meets to debrief with Operations about her meeting with Mr. Lambert. Murtagh helps out his friend and Fergus finds out new intel about the Rising Dragons from his informant.

Chapter 143 and all other chapters can be found at … https://sablelab.tumblr.com/covertoperations  

THANK YOU all so much for following this story week in and week out.  You are all the BEST!

  CHAPTER 144

 Madeline returned to Section One after her enlightening talk with Mr. Lambert with her agenda achieved and with a better picture in her mind as to the treachery that Colum had instigated in regards to the Rising Dragons' mission. Feeling a wry smile bow her mouth, she entered the underground parking lot after parking her BMW, and headed towards the elevator that would descend into the hub of Section One. She stopped when she reached the doors and activated the secret code. The doors soon opened and she entered with resolve and a self-satisfied look on her face. This had definitely been a win-win for her, Operations and especially Section One. She knew that Dougal would be pleased with the outcome and hence they may not see as much of Colum as they had in the past. His impromptu visits may have just been curtailed for a while by the powers that be. 

After her discussions with Mr. Lambert it was much clearer now that Oversight’s leader indeed had a file on Sun Yee Lok as well as Jamie and Claire.  Although Mr Lambert’s explanation was valid, she was still a little perplexed as to why Colum would want one on their two best operatives. That was a conundrum to think about. His informant, Jurgen, had passed on Intel concerning the triad, some which they knew of and some they did not. It was now up to them at Section to beat him at his own game and keep him out of their affairs. Making Mr. Lambert aware surreptitiously that Colum may have had ulterior motives in regards to the Rising Dragons' mission had indeed been cathartic. Madeline was sure that their superior would rein Oversight’s leader in and they would not have any more interference from him. In so doing, he would be on notice that Mr. Lambert was aware of his meddling when there was no reason for it about the mission. Colum would no longer be able to give him false Intel again about the state of play to where Section was at in regards to capturing the Dragon Head of the triad. The other great news was that Frank Wolverton-Randall would be returned to Section One where they could keep a close eye on him and any transfer of data secretly back to Colum.   

Madeline's Mona Lisa smile increased at the thought of these outcomes. 

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The metal doors closed behind her and the elevator whooshed quietly into the depths of the earth. In no time it came to a swift stop, the doors opened and Madeline exited through them to her familiar surroundings of Section One and made her way through Van Access. With every step she took, her resolute footfalls echoed on the floor of the stark corridor as she headed further into Section One. Anyone observing Section's Head Strategist pass by, would have seen her determined gait indicating that she was a woman on a mission. When Madeline was in this frame of mind operatives knew to stay clear.

She walked along the corridors towards the Common Area on her way to the perch to see Operations. Meanwhile several operatives were nervously talking to each other behind her back as she passed by their stations, but that was a common reaction whenever she was out of her office. She intimidated people and operatives were scared of her … but as far as Madeline was concerned that was a good thing, as you could not be too familiar with your workforce. She and Dougal ran a tight ship and their operatives knew exactly where they stood. Insubordination was not tolerated and failure to perform resulted in cancellation. Although operatives were busily engaged in their duties, Madeline felt the air of trepidation that surrounded them. The atmosphere was so thick you could cut it with a knife while eyes seemed to follow her every step but then quickly glance away to carry on with whatever they were supposed to be doing. 

Section’s doyen knew people were anxious by her presence but she liked it that way as it kept the operatives on their toes. Too much familiarity was frowned upon thus they were wary around her. Nonetheless she liked that situation and it had always worked well for her in the end. The only thing she was ever concerned about was Section and that their operatives did their jobs thoroughly to the highest standard. 

As she made her way to the Perch to debrief with Operations, her thoughts turned to the conversation with Mr. Lambert.

It had been very enlightening and she knew exactly what needed to be done to rectify Colum's meddling in their affairs. She realized that Centre's leader had provided her with valuable Intel that had to be confirmed as soon as possible. Fergus was the go-to man for this assignment. She needed to address him to give him the heads up on what Mr. Lambert had told her and her instructions to deal with it. The Macau information was a valuable piece of news to her, so Section needed to act expediently before Colum set anything tangible in motion. Time was of the essence. Fergus needed to move swiftly to neutralize any Intel that their nemesis may already have on the Rising Dragons and plant a red herring that would send him off on a wild goose chase. It was also imperative to act and act quickly before Colum Mackenzie got wind of her discussion with Mr. Lambert but she wouldn't be at all surprised if Centre’s leader hadn’t already contacted him and hauled him over the coals. 

This brought another smile to her face. Her mission had been accomplished. Dougal would be pleased. 

Fergus has a visit from Section’s Head Strategist ... 

Before she spoke with Operations, Madeline needed to speak with Section’s communications expert first and made a beeline to Fergus Claudel with instructions for him to carry out. When she approached his station, he looked up a little surprised to see her standing at his desk, however, judging by the look she gave him, he knew that Section's second-in-command had something important to reveal. 

True to form, Madeline didn't mince her words. "Have you found any new Intel about the Rising Dragons or Sun Yee Lok?"

"I've put out feelers but nothing yet." "What about John Grey our informant in Hong Kong? Has he been in touch?"

"I'm still trying to locate him to see if he has any fresh Intel on the triad."

"What's the problem?"

"He's not responding to communiqués."

John Grey was rather partial to the high life and from time to time communicating with him was difficult. This was a cause for frustration and it echoed in her voice as she spoke to the techie. "Work on it. This is top priority. You'll need to move faster. Find out if he knows anything about the Rising Dragons planning a move into the casino business in Macau."

"I'll get on it right away," Fergus reassured her emphatically.

His superior gave him a piercing look. "You need to pull out all stops on this one Fergus."

It was evident that Madeline was quite adamant in her orders and would bode no hesitation in them being carried out. "I understand." 

"And find out any an Intel you can on Colum's informant Phil Jurgen. Find out where he is located and how close he is getting to the Rising Dragons."

"Understood Madeline. Anything else?"

However, her next order was a surprise. "I want you to contact Jamie and Claire and inform them that they are to return to Section One."

Fergus' mind went into a spiralling downfall at the thought of that being a possibility as previous times that he'd tried to reach them he'd come up blank. If Jamie and Claire didn't want to be contacted then it was nigh on impossible to do so unless they initiated the contact. Knowing the answer already, he still stated the obvious.

 "But their trackers are down … they are not contactable."

Her concise answer was not unexpected. "I'm sure you'll find a way Mr. Claudel."

The computer expert knew this was a direct order and Madeline would not accept a negative response to her request. "I'll do my best."

"Your best isn't good enough. I expect more."

Section One was under the pump because of Colum's obvious interference about the Rising Dragons’ mission and Frank Wolverton-Randall's involvement with passing on information, however, of what and how much was still to be known. He quite understood why Madeline was so adamant that things happen quickly. Excuses would not be tolerated. "Okay."

"Oh, and there is one other thing that you need to be aware of."

"Yes?"

"Frank will be returning to Section where we can keep a closer eye on him."

"I see." Fergus was not a happy camper at hearing this news despite the need to keep tabs on him. "Why? Can't we do that given what we already know about him and Colum?"

"You need to keep your enemies close Mr. Claudel. If he is here, we have more control over what we allow him to do and see."

"How will this come about?"

"Mr Lambert will request that Frank be transferred back to One to help you with collating Intel on the Rising Dragons."

"I see."

"Thus, we'll need you to plant some bogus Intel about the triad that Colum will think is legitimate to keep him off our tails and that Frank will need to follow up that will send him off on a wild goose chase. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Madeline."

"Good. Do it." 

All Fergus needed to do now was to follow up her orders and verify the Intel about Macau so that a new profile could be put in place. All the pieces of the puzzle were finally coming together while the last piece she needed was for Jamie and Claire to return to Section. But how in heavens name was he to do that was the conundrum he faced, knowing that if he could not contact them his head would be on the chopping block. There was only one person he could think of that could help ... his buddy Murtagh.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Walking away from Fergus' station, Madeline was extremely happy with the plans she had put in place to curtail Colum's efforts to undermine Section One. Hostilities had existed between Section and Oversight for some time, but with Colum's interference in this mission, this had only escalated their contempt for him. She couldn't wait to debrief with Operations but once he heard what Colum had been reporting to Mr. Lambert there was no telling what he may be inclined to want to do. He'd already suggested assassination as his favoured modus operandi but she'd diffused that situation for the time being, but it was highly probable that this would be back on the table once she reported their situation. 

They had all tolerated each other over the years, but the suspicions between her and Dougal on one hand and Colum on the other had caused a large chasm that widened with each impromptu visit from him. This hostility had only been exacerbated during this mission to where his interference was intolerable given his subterfuge. There was certainly no love lost between the brothers whatsoever and now, if anything it had intensified. This time Colum had gone too far. Most times any encounter between the leaders resulted in a stalemate, but this time it seemed that Section One may just be able to checkmate Colum at his own game. Given the fact that Mr. Lambert was now aware of his agenda, Madeline was sure that he would not try and interfere anytime soon, but nonetheless if Colum acted on their bogus Intel, it would indeed prove that he had gone behind their backs and in contravention of direct orders from Mr. Lambert. Failure to obey his supreme leader may just be the answer to their problems. If Colum was stupid enough to go behind Mr. Lambert's back then he deserved whatever punishment their leader would dish out. It could possibly be a win-win for Section One without any involvement from them whatsoever. This thought would please Operations no end.

Armed with new Intel about the Rising Dragons … compliments of Mr. Lambert … they could now get back to what was important and at the same time make Colum look like a fool. Her mind had been focused on nothing else since her meeting and she couldn't wait to set things into motion back at Section. She had given Fergus his orders and was confident that he would be able to expand this new Intel and put Section One back behind the eight ball. The Rising Dragons' short reprieve, like Jamie and Claire's, was over. It was time that Section brought the Rising Dragons’ mission to a closure before Colum could usurp their authority and undermine them even more. 

Suddenly another thought popped into Madeline's mind that gave her cause to smile enigmatically … If ever Operations wanted to take over Oversight, this might just be his opportunity to show his true mettle. Colum would be under suspicion from Mr. Lambert and if anything jeopardized the mission because of Oversight's intervention… then Operations would come up smelling roses. That thought was indeed worth thinking about. 

With her inscrutable Mona Lisa smile on her face, Madeline continued on towards the perch where she knew Operations would be eagerly awaiting her return from Centre. She was most satisfied that she had set things in motion to expedite the Rising Dragons’ mission and get Section back on the right foot. All they needed was the Intel to pursue the triad and the operatives to carry out the mission. They already had one … all they needed was a window of opportunity to make a strike on the Rising Dragons and its members. She was counting on Fergus to come through with information that would facilitate a new profile as quickly as possible if they were to usurp Colum and his delusions of grandeur.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The added spring in Madeline's step was clearly noticeable as she continued on to the perch.

Fergus watched Section's Head Strategist leave his station after giving him his explicit orders. His eyes followed her progression away from his computer terminal, noting Madeline's determined gait and unwavering mindset … just like her words had been to him … succinct, resolute and needing answers as soon as possible. He had his instructions and all the things she'd asked him to do were all major concerns. There was no time to prioritize any of the commands for he'd been well and truly put on notice; furthermore, she wanted him to start straight away. However, Fergus decided that he would try and contact John Grey again as his first strategy followed by the request to release false information for Frank Wolverton-Randall to chase. Then he would try to find a way to contact Jamie and Claire. 

He knew he would have some difficulty in contacting them and that he may need Murtagh's help for that. Given the mood that Madeline was in it was obvious that she wanted everything done yesterday. Her words had an urgency to them that gave Fergus little doubt that she and Operations had pressing plans in mind for Jamie and Claire. That would explain why the two recovering operatives had to return to Section early even though they still had a few days remaining on their downtime. Madeline had been adamant in her orders, so obviously whatever had been discussed between her and Mr. Lambert had warranted this move. Her meeting must have been productive and had caused her to rethink their strategy on the Rising Dragons' mission. No doubt there would be a briefing to outline a profile for continuance and he guessed that when Jamie and Claire returned this would be put in place. 

The fact that Madeline wanted him to plant some false information to head Colum off on a different tangent meant that he must be getting too close or could jeopardize the mission by his interference. Either way, things would be go, go, go as soon and Jamie and Claire returned. He only hoped that they were well enough to resume the mission. 

Putting his head to the grindstone Fergus began the tasks at hand. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Climbing the stairs up to Operations' office, Madeline was extremely satisfied with what she had set in motion. Her return to Section One after her meeting with Mr. Lambert, had given her the momentum to dive into the Rising Dragons' mission armed with new Intel that could finally lead to Sun Yee Lok and other triad members capture. Not only had the meeting given her new data but it had also allowed her to checkmate Colum and stop him in his tracks. She had managed to kill two birds with one stone and the fact that Frank Wolverton-Randall would be under their watchful eye was an added bonus. They could keep a close watch on him and leak Intel that would backfire on Colum. Yes, revenge was best served cold … it was a very satisfying feeling. 

Madeline couldn’t wait to debrief with Operations.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Fergus returned to his station with a heavy heart. His superior had given him a directive he may not be able to carry out and failure to do so could result in severe consequences. Being put into abeyance was not his idea of the best outcome for something he may be unable to control. His failure to contact John Grey was a frustration he didn’t need on top of all the other things he had to do.  Fergus Claudel seemed as if his back was up against the wall. Not only that, but he had to come up with some plausible Intel on the Rising Dragons that would persuade Frank Wolverton-Randall to follow up with his usual thirst to be the first to one upmanship him in any way shape or form with the powers that be. Planting a lure could be tricky but not insurmountable. He had already thought of a few believable scenarios that Frank might take the bait for.  Knowing the type of character that Wolverton-Randall was, he knew that his nemesis was always too cocky when it came to the way he did things, and if Frank could make him look incompetent in front of Mr. Lambert, Fergus also knew he would have no qualms about doing so. Frank’s lust for the ultimate accolade to everyone else’s, but especially his detriment, was typical of his need to fuel his narcissistic personality. Just the thought of Wolverton-Randall losing face and to come tumbling down a peg or two gave him immense pleasure.  

A wry smile bowed his mouth, but soon disappeared when his thoughts turned to the problem of contacting Jamie and Claire to return to Section. Although they had not gone dark whilst on downtime, getting in touch with them was another huge setback. How was he ever going to contact them when they were off the radar?  If Jamie didn’t want to be contacted then there was little chance of anyone doing so before their downtime was up.  There was only one thing he could do and that was to turn to his friend Murtagh in an effort of finding a way of getting in touch with the two operatives.

It was in this sombre mood that Murtagh Fitzgibbons found him when he appeared in systems.

 A visitor arrives at Fergus’ station ...

“Hey buddy why the long face?”

Fergus gave him the look indicating that what he was about to say was something that Murtagh knew would require some underhand manoeuvring by him to solve whatever was troubling his friend.

“I have a problem A huge, big problem. Madeline wants me to contact Jamie and Claire, among other orders, and as you know they are somewhere where they are not reachable. They could be anywhere.”

“Yes, I see what you mean. That could be quite difficult.”

“What are we going to do?”

“We?” Murtagh replied raising his eyebrow at his friend’s assumption that they, not he, had the problem.

Fergus ignored his buddy’s mocking reply and pleaded his case. “Things will be dire if I cannot get in contact with them. What am I going to do?” he implored knowing only too well that whenever he had a predicament his friend always came to his rescue. “The only thing I can think of is a broad view sector breakdown and then I’ll need to comb every inch of this planet to find them.”

“I really don’t think that will be necessary,” Murtagh added with mirth in his voice.

“Really?”

“Yes. Leave it with me. I have my ways and means of getting around this problem.”

“How?”  Fergus looked at the wise operative and saw the slight glint in his eyes. 

“Well, there are a few tricks I haven’t told you about. Now first, you …”

“No, no, that’s okay... I don’t want to know. I get the message.”

Murtagh Fitzgibbons gave him a slight smile and raised his eyebrow in a mischievous way that his buddy had come to understand.

“Thanks, Murtagh.  Owe you one.”

“I’ll add it to my list,” he retorted with a look that Fergus knew so well as he left his friend to tackle the other orders Madeline had given him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Relieved that this major problem had been solved he tried once again to contact the elusive John Grey.  Fergus tapped his fingers on his desk in quick succession in extreme frustration and annoyance that once again John was unavailable. Any Intel from the informant was getting critical to the mission status especially now that Madeline was on the war path.  He needed something … anything … that may prove useful for Jamie and Claire’s return to Section.  Time was of the essence and he knew that his head would be on the chopping block if John came up empty handed.  Time seemed to stand still as Fergus waited for his connection, and the more he became worried, the more his fingers tapped on the desk.  However, after a short time he finally heard the inimitable English accent of the elusive Mr Grey at last.

This time he’d been successful and not at a moment too soon.

Meanwhile Fergus makes contact with his informant ...

“John? Is that you?”

“Fergus my old pal … my old buddy! What’s up?”

The young techie had been on the edge of his tether waiting for his informant to make contact and now that he had, his patience was wearing thin. “Cut the crap Grey.  Where the hell have you been?”

“Now … Is that any way to treat an old friend? You are joking right?”

“No … I’m not,” was his adamant reply.

“Ooh lardy da!  Someone’s stroppy!  Got your knickers in a knot hey Fergus?”  

Biting his tongue at his reply, Fergus repeated more succinctly. “Where have you been John?”

“Keep your pants on old chum.”  John Grey heard silence at the other end of their connection and knew that he had strung the young guy along long enough and finally replied, “Busy.”

Knowing how important any Intel could be, Fergus answered in a calmer voice.  “Okay … busy doing what?”

“Par-taying … of course.  You know me.  I’m just a party animal.  Love a good party. I just go bonkers for the ladies in Honkers! … Hmmmm … mmmm!”  John Grey enthusiastically relayed where he had been and what he had been doing.

Aggravated with his stalling and knowing that he needed Intel ASAP Fergus let his frustration get the better of him. “John!  Talk! Right now!”

Lost in his own little world the informant was quickly brought back to earth from his recollections as he could sense the techie’s disquiet. “Is this a bad time?  I’ll call back when you’re in a better mood.”

Placated, Fergus realised that he could lose this long sort after connection on one of John Grey’s whims if he wasn’t careful.  “No! … Listen John … I need a favour.”

He heard the apprehension in Fergus’ statement. Becoming decidedly more serious, he eventually answered in a more composed manner, “Anything for you Fergus … That’s what I’m here for.  To make the bad times good.  Right? What do you want to know?”

Pausing before taking a breath, he then continued, knowing that whatever John Grey had to tell him could be crucial to the mission. “Do you happen to know of a man named Phil Jurgen?”

The wheels of his memory were turning. “Jurgen you say?”

“Yes. Have you ever met this guy?”

His voice was upbeat. “Yeah sure. You know me, I know everybody. Jurgen and I go back to club days in London.”

“What can you tell me about him?”

Curiosity ate at him as to why Section One would want to know about Phil Jurgen but he had had his suspicions about him for a while in regards to questions he had thrown at him about the Rising Dragons triad.  He felt it was strange that two informants were after the same Intel.

“In what regard?”

“Do you know if he has been snooping around and asking questions about the Rising Dragons for instance?”

“Come to think of it … he has been prying that’s for sure.”

Fergus called the man out. “He’s not passing Intel on to Section John.”

“I gathered that.  I’ve had to fob him off a couple of times in my inimitable way.”

“Good.”

“We might move in the same circles but he doesn’t know what I know about the triad … that’s for sure.”

“How can you be certain?”

“Because … I value my life … That’s why.”

Fergus smiled at his answer especially knowing what Section One would do to John Grey if he lied and was found out. “And?”

“I’ve had to throw him a few red herrings to send him off on a tangent.  He had been prying about the triad but had gone cold on any new leads about the Rising Dragons’ leader and has now moved on to greener pastures.”

“How do you know?”

“He flew to Abu Dhabi yesterday with Sheikh Abdul al-A’zam on his private jet. I drove him to the airport myself, but I’m sure Section will verify this.”

He didn’t answer, knowing that he would indeed check if this was true.  Things were decidedly looking up, but he still needed John Grey’s information about the triad. “You’ve got the connections John; I need to know if you have any new Intel about the Rising Dragons and their members. Where they are … and what they are doing.”

“Do you?” was his canny reply.

Fergus could hear the smile in Grey’s voice as though he held all the cards and if the truth be known he did.  He was convinced that John had very important Intel … Intel that Section One needed as soon as possible.

“Anyone in particular?”

It was obvious that the informant was stalling as if he had Claudel squirming on a hook. “Yeah … you know who John and quickly.”

“And what is in it …for me?”

“Jamie and Claire won't break every bone in your body when they find you,” was Fergus’ short and snappy reply.

Once again Grey gave his flippant retort. “Hmm? … Claire hey? I never could resist a woman like her in distress. My one weakness, really.”

“Okay … tell me everything you have and … fast.”

“Oh, it’s big Fergus. Very big. It’s like this …”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He was all ears as he listened intently as John relayed his information knowing the importance of this new Intel to the mission end game. Whatever info they learned would be a major factor in how Section approached the next stage of capturing Sun Yee Lok. “Go on.”

“New players, lots of disgruntled members within triad factions, could get out of control. These people are very serious. Good lot to stay clear of and I plan to stay clear of them.”

Fergus knew that this was new Intel that Section could use. “Who?”

“Samuel Li. He’s Black Panthers. Not a very friendly chum. Middle of the totem pole but very ambitious. He’s gone up against Sun Yee Lok.  He wants to be Dragon Head. Meeting happening as we speak, but low and behold a surprised guest arrived unannounced.”

“Where do we find them?”

“Aberdeen.”

Aberdeen was diverse.  The meeting could be taking place anywhere in the surrounds of the province.  He needed more clarification. “More information!”

“Oh right. Jumbo Floating restaurant. I’ll send pictures.”  

As John Grey gave him the location Fergus brought up the map of the Aberdeen area to see what teams were close by. If the triad leader was in the vicinity he needed to be tracked.

“And Sun Yee Lok’s daughter?”

The mention of Karen Yee brought a smile to John’s lips. This girl was a stunner.  Powerful, sassy, rich … but dangerous.  “She throws the best parties … just went to one. Great looking birds … big hoot…”

Fergus cut him off before he had finished. “John!”

There was silence at the other end of the line as John Grey reminisced about the last couple of days spent at one of the best parties he had attended. “What?”

���Where John?”

“Hang on to your horses … Can’t a man have his memories for a moment?”

Frustrated with his informant’s tangent thoughts he asked, “Where John?  Where was the party?”

“At a casino in Macau … The Golden Dragon.”  As the IT specialist digested all the Intel he had supplied, John Grey continued raving on. “Great night … plenty of booze … lovely ladies … get my drift.”

However, Fergus interrupted him again while he was speaking, “Anything else?”

“Oh, yeah … Nearly forgot. There are rumours that Alvin Tang, is siphoning off money from the casino for his own benefit.”  

“Who is he?”

“Sun Yee Lok’s deputy.  He’s been in Macau for a year or two and has been running the casino for the triad. Apparently, Karen is learning the ropes from him.  She may find out more than she bargained for though, if you get my drift?”

“Is that all?”

“Yes,” he finally replied.  

Knowing that this Intel would be very pleasing to Madeline and Operations, Fergus added, “Someone will be in touch if we need anything else.”

“Yeah baby! Claire Beauchamp, I hope,” was his candid reply.  “That woman has legs to die for … I could see them wrapped …”

Having heard enough Fergus cut off his rambling words once more. “Bye John.”

“Oh … Oh right then ... I’m off to get a cure for this raging headache of mine.” And with that he was gone.

Now all Fergus Claudel had to do was to inform Madeline and Operations about what he had discovered about the Rising Dragons and hoped that in the meantime his buddy Murtagh had been able to contact Jamie and Claire.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~to be continued Friday 18th September

[bookwyrminspiration]

hello hello its been a few days but i, the dream nonsie, am back! (also my name actually means "dream" irl 👀) personally, i think a silveny flavored popsicle would be cinnamon-y as u said, but also... sparkly? in a way? not- not like actual glitter, thats disgusting, but.. when u eat it it just *feels* magical. not sure if im making sense lol ^^ aww, glad my crazy dream made you happy! :D ask word limit is getting close so imma continue in another ask if thats okay with you! <3 1/?

hello!! welcome back--i gotta admit I was not expecting this, but it's so nice of you and I really appreciate it <33. I hope you don't mind me compiling this all into one post, that way it's just a little more organized. you're entirely welcome to send as many asks as you want, so don't worry about continuing in others! I don't mind at all!

1. oo that's a really cool name meaning!! I always think it's interesting to hear what other people's name mean, or they meanings they've chosen to associate with them (as some have more that one). Quil doesn't really have a meaning, so I love hearing others'!! The only thing I miss about my dead name is the meaning, tbh, because it was pretty !!

also, I can totally imagine the cinnamon/sparkly popsicle. when you say that I immediately think of sparkling water for some reason, like it's not a taste it's a feeling. you put it in your mouth and it's an experience. you're wild dream was probably the highlight of my day!! something about it just stood out and I kept coming back to think about it. long silveny popsicles can do that to you, i guess

2. oopsie! my bad! when someone says writing I usually just default to the wings au, because that's the writing most people know me for. but!! i'm glad you like all the analyses I've done! I don't think they'll be stopping anytime soon--it's like everytime I answer an ask I get two more, which means there will be a steady stream of them for the forseable future. I really enjoy doing them, so I love hearing that people enjoy reading them! they're mostly just me rambling until I find a pattern or connection to latch onto, and then I build from there. and depending on the ask I might grab a book from my shelf to reference something if needed

also: thank you! The wings au is a pretty big project I've wanted to take on for a while, so it's absolutely thrilling to see people interact with it and talk about it--even if they haven't read it. There's absolutely no pressure on you to read it, just so you know! Honestly sometimes baffles me that I've gotten fanart and so many asks and comments on it, enough so that people who haven't read it still know what it is. like?? my wings au?? silly little idea I had all because of one stray thought one day?

as for writing it while taking college classes: yes! that's what I've been doing! I think i've had a combined total of like three weeks of break since January (i don't get summer), but aside from that i've had four or five classes while writing the au. Actually was taking an A&P class (which are notoriously difficult, even more so on summer schedule) this summer while working on it, which was wild. But a lot of the excited comments and theories and general interaction helped motivate me to keep going.

3. it's not dissapointing at all! I don't expect for anyone to read it, it's not something you have to do in order to interact with me and the stuff on my blog. it's just something I happen to be doing so if you like it you're welcome to engage with it! I actually don't read fanfic very often either, which may be surprising as I write it. Occasionally I binge a bunch of fics in a certain ship when I'm in the mood, but that's only once every few months. Ships just don't hold huge appeal for me, so I don't find a lot of fic that interests me. Also wow! mine was one of the first you've heard of?? that's a huge accomplishment to me, thank you! Where did you hear about it? I honestly don't know where people find my au, so I'm curious.

speaking of reading fanfic, Nattie's (theunmappedstar) fic is one of the few I've read! I haven't talked to them in a while, but they're very accomplished and it's an honor to be considered alongside them in terms of writing!

as for committing to mine, feel free to take your time! no rush! it's always going to be there! although I will say it does just keep getting longer, so be prepared for that. I update every two weeks on sunday, so you've got time. if you do read it, I'd love to hear your thoughts. truly, comments and just hearing what people think are the best motivation. it also enriches the story! I never know what's going to stick out to people or what they'll remember, so hearing from people gives me ideas for scenes in the future! I have a general idea of where this au is heading, but a lot of the details have been impacted by theories and comments. You absolutely don't have to though, just if you'd like I'd love to hear

4. thank you so much <33. I'd love to get back more into traditional art, as i've been focusing on digital recently. I just love how watercolors look! I actually have a few art requests from an embarrasingly long time ago (April) that I'd like to do in a traditional style. I also just haven't posted as much art recently, so I'd love to get back into that. Coloring and lighting were mostly me just winging it, trying to imagine a few colors that would look nice next to each other and then just going for it. Also, i cant even count how many times I would accidentally switch up the light source in in the middle of a piece. I actually took an art class a few semesters ago, so I have leftover supplies from that I could use for some keeper pieces! I've had a few ideas, so hopefully your encouragement can help me get back into that <33

the writer and artist thing: thank you!! both writing and art are interests of mine, so it's so cool to get recognized for both!! I remember when I started posting art I was doing it as a "I'll do this for now until I get to the writing" thing and then i accidentally became fairly well-known as an fanartist and i was just there like wait a minute this wasn't supposed to happen. But I love it!! I love doing fanart and I'd love to do more. But I also love writing! i have some ideas for aus and other one shots I'd like to do when the wings au is done, not that I'm trying to hurry that along. I thoroughly enjoy working on the wings au, and i'm not in any rush to get through it.

and don't worry, you have nothing to apologize for!! i'm glad you feel comfortable talking to me! You don't need to be concise or anything, you're welcome to take up as much space and use as many words as you'd like. I think it'd be a little hypocritical if i didn't believe that, considering how long my responses to the asks i get are (partially why they sometimes take a bit to answer). it was very much so a fun read!! I really appreciate you and wasn't even sure how to respond to everything in a way that conveyed that. I absolutely blown away by how genuine and sweet you are

i really loved this ask, and I've reread it several times because it's just so kind. thank you so much <33

[null-whump]

Whumptober Day 11

Ahhhh I hope I’m not getting burned out already!! I’m sorry these are all short :(

Warnings: Dehumanization, threats/mentions of torture, muzzling

Word Count: 1,065

Whumptober Prompt 11 – Defiance | Struggling | Crying

––––––––––––––––––

I don’t know what caused it. I had been submissive for so long, keeping any complaints or protests inside, because what was the point, really? I couldn’t do anything about my situation, so why bother trying? That had been my mindset for so long that even I was shocked by my outburst. Varren hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary, hadn’t said anything more upsetting than usual, but something inside me snapped.

“You can’t treat people like this!” I hadn’t raised my voice in so long, and a small part of me whispered that this was a bad idea, but I was angry, angrier than I had been in a long time, and I couldn’t think past the fire of rage in my head. “I’m not – I’m not a pet that you can do whatever you want with – no one is! I’m a person, and I don’t – I don’t deserve this! No one deserves to be treated like this!”

My words were coming faster than I could think to stop them, everything that I had pushed back was coming out and I didn’t care enough to stop it. “What the hell do you get out of this?” I shouted, my fists clenched in anger, my chest heaving. “And why – why – do you keep getting away with it? You shouldn’t be able to hurt people whenever you want, to hurt me! It’s not – ” My voice broke over the last sentence “It’s not fair!”

There was silence, so much louder than my shouting had been. Varren sat back in his chair, staring at me. He didn’t look angry, or offended, or whatever sort of reaction I had expected from him. He looked amused.

“Are you quite finished, pet?” He asked, condescendence dripping from his tone.

My mind finally caught up with my actions. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t even move. I nodded shakily, shame creeping in to replace the anger that had died out as soon as I finished yelling. I regretted ever opening my mouth. I was terrified.

“That was certainly an unexpected outburst,” Varren said, and that damned look of amusement was still on his face. “Do you feel better now?” He mocked. “I suppose you’re very sorry, aren’t you?”

My heart was pounding. I couldn’t bring myself to speak, to say that I was sorry, because I knew it wouldn’t do me any good, after all of that. Not that it ever did.

“You’re not sorry,” Varren continued. “You meant everything that you said.” He smiled. “You’re only sorry because you know what comes next.”

He stood to his feet, and any willpower I had vanished, and I did something I had never done before. I ran. I don’t know what I expected it to accomplish, but I was so afraid, so terrified that I let my instincts take control. I didn’t get far, of course – I reached a locked door and Varren seized my arm and I fought – I pulled desperately, the sole objective in my mind was to get away – I was hardly aware of what I was doing until his voice froze my limbs.

“Stop resisting me, boy!”

I obeyed, unwillingly, my chest heaving as I tried to regain control of my breathing.

“You’re certainly full of surprises today,” Varren said scathingly. “Is there anything else you’d like to pull since you’ve come this far?”

I couldn’t bring myself to respond. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I let them. I choked on sobs, and wouldn’t have remained upright if not for Varren’s iron grip on my arms.

“Save your tears,” Varren said as he began to pull me after him. “I’m going to give you something to really cry about.”

He didn’t drag me to the horrible, cold, stone room like I thought he would, but instead back to the study. He threw me onto the floor and sat down, leisurely, without a care in the world. He waited until I had shakily pushed myself onto my knees before he spoke.

“What is a suitable punishment for this?” he mused. “You’ve been more disobedient in the past ten minutes than you have all week.” He leaned back in his chair. “I could break your legs for running, but then I’d have to break your arms for trying to get away even after running…but I don’t want you fully incapacitated. And of course, there’s the issue of your little tantrum that started all this.”

For several long, terrible seconds, Varren simply looked at me, a cold light in his eyes. Finally, he spoke again.

“Tell me what I did to you the last time you spoke out of turn.”

I swallowed hard. “You – you muzzled me, sir,” I whispered. “F-for three days, without food.”

“Do you think that’s enough of a punishment for what you did today?”

“…N-no, sir.”

Varren leaned forward. “In that case, what do you think is an appropriate punishment?”

I froze. “I – I don’t know, sir.”

“Really? No idea? Oh, of course! How could I forget.” Varren’s eyes turned dark. “You ‘don’t deserve this’, isn’t that right? I should let you do whatever you want, is that it?”

“I – n-no –”

Varren backhanded me sharply and I fell to the side. “No? You’ve changed your mind so quickly?” He grabbed my chin in his hand and wrenched my head to face him. “Tell me, boy, do you deserve to be punished?”

I shuddered at the fury I could feel radiating from his mind. “Y-yes, sir,” I managed, desperate to give him what he wanted.

“That’s right,” Varren said softly. “And the appropriate punishment is whatever I say it is. Do you know why?”

“B-because,” I faltered, my voice shaking. “Because I’m – I’m your p-property, sir.”

Varren’s expression didn’t change. “Try again, but without the stutter.”

I felt my face heat up. “Because I’m – your property, sir.”

“Better.” Varren let go of me and stood up. “Now that we’ve settled that, I believe your punishment is in order.”

Thirty lashes hurt a lot, even when I wasn’t surprised at Varren’s decision. I expected the muzzle, too, but I thought that the straps were even tighter than normal, and the leather dug into my skin more than usual. And when Varren said ‘We’ll finish this tomorrow,’ I could only muster a whimper in response. It was my fault, after all. I should’ve kept my damn mouth shut.

––––––––––––––––––

Tag list! Let me know if you want to be added or removed, or if I somehow missed your name.

@castielamigos-whump-side-blog @shameless-whumper @whumpity--whump--whump @whumpitywhumpwhump @nervous-writer @this-zombie-will-eat-you @abyssshifter @whumpersworld @whatwasmyprevioususername @scared-and-crying @whatwhumpcomments @blackrosesandrhyme @amethystpath @utopian819

[falselyprofound]

So... 2020, huh?

Saying it was rough is an understatement. But also, it’s December 31st, there’s three hours left in the year, and I am far too tired to find the words that carry the proper amount of weight to describe... whatever all that was.

That said, I’m going to try my hardest not to write it off. It was a difficult year, but as with any NYE, taking a step back to think about the things I did accomplish helps keep me sane. Makes me think I’m still moving forward.

So, without further ado...

The World is Weird got nominated for an AGS award! I stayed up until about five am watching the awards ceremony, timezones and Australian wifi be damned. Good times, good times.

Made myself a website! It’s still a little bare-bones but it shows off some of my art and game projects.

Made an OC ask blog! Given how this year went, I very much did not have the mental headspace for writing out any of the comics I’ve been planning. But it is genuinely so nice to have a place to post small tidbits here and there. (Big thanks to everyone who’s sent in asks! I have a few more answers in the works, but feel free to send in more stuff if u feel so inclined)

Finished storyboarding the first act of Buy-r-Die. While that doesn’t sound all that impressive, the game’s had several drastic presentation overhauls this year. I’ve finally settled on something I like - sort of a mix between visual novel and motion comic - and personally I think it adds a lot to the more action-y scenes! I can’t show too much off just yet, but I’m really excited with how things are progressing. In the meantime, the dev log is up on the AGS forums.

Illustrated, wrote, and programmed like half a visual novel for Art Fight. I’ve been chipping away at it in my own time since the fight ended, and while I’ve still got quite a bit of work to do on Spice’s side I’d say it’s coming along p well. Most of the post-fight adjustments aren’t up on GameJolt yet, but you can play the original prototype and read the devlog over here.

Speaking of Art Fight, I earned 1443.62 points this year! That’s about triple the amount of art I did over the past few fights combined. Not bad, considering I had to take two weeks off for an elective.

I also drew some much-needed reference sheets for (most of) my main OCs. One day I’ll update Clarissa’s art. One day.

Played a lot of D&D. Like... a lot. Not all of it turned out to be good, and sadly a lot of games died out due to COVID and/or uni scheduling. But Mel finally escaped her vacation from hell, Sloane finally made it to the town of Barovia, Maya avoided starting an international incident, and I finally managed to drop some Lavinia lore that i’ve been sitting on for four years. Delicious drama.

Finally had a chance to run Monster of the Week! My first attempt was... not all that great, mostly because I was trying to write a scenario from scratch without really understanding the rules. But I’ve now moved on to Damn Dirty Apes, and am having an absolute blast.

Small town superhero OC RPs. You wouldn’t know it from reading this blog but I got, like, really into those this year. Think I wrote something around 40 A4-pages worth of fic for one server, and that’s not counting the actual threads I did with other people. Now I just need to channel that kind of productivity into my solo work...

Lots of digital painting work this year, mostly for personal projects. I like to think my grasp of colour and lighting is getting better, though I still have a long way to go. Regardless, here’s some of it.

Kept on top of my university work, with a distinction average. Barring unforseen bullshit, I should be done with my Masters’ Degree within the next six months!

Did not keep on top of MMB, unfortunately. There was just... too much to do, with too little personal energy to do it with. That said, I’ve started sketching out ideas for a relatively light mini-game. Fingers crossed that’ll surface relatively early into 2021.

It is a little frustrating to see that this is yet another year of half-finished projects, but I’m trying not to be too hard on myself. The mental strain of lockdown, juggling several bouts of drama at once, and uni study all at once is... a lot. And while I’m upset I never completed anything -- jesus christ, it’s a miracle I managed to even start things when my brain was already this full.

Felt like I spent most of this year fighting metaphorical fires... and I don’t know if that’s going to stop any time soon. But anyway.

All that aside, I feel as though my game development workflow is really improving. My code isn’t industry standard, but it’s significantly cleaner, easier, and faster to work with than ever. I’ve gotten some slight animation practice under my belt. And I’ve also dealt with the terrifying world of optimization.

(My games have option menus now! Incredible!)

What’s more, I’m getting better at achieving personal goals without any external pressures or hard deadlines -- which is comforting, as the latest spike in COVID cases has got me worried that I might not be able to get an offline job any time soon. I might need to look into Patreon, advertising my commissions more, or otherwise monetizing smaller projects of mine... we’ll see.

For now, I’m going to go play Animal Crossing and eat chocolate.

‘Cause there’s no fireworks out tonight and I have nowhere to be.

[unsettledink]

Back in the days of LJ, I used to try and do a post at the end of each year, looking back primarily at fandom and fic. I fell out of the habit when everything moved to tumblr, and then it seemed like I didn’t have anything to say since I wasn’t writing or really participating any. 

But I always liked the idea of it, because I love to be overly reflective on stuff. And talk about my fic. Any excuse! I shuffled around some of the topics I used back then and added a few I’ve seen around that I liked. It got… long, because I TALK, so I split into two sections. 

*

Your main fandom of the year? 

    Marvel (MCU) for sure. Primarily with characters from Spider-Man and Iron Man movies.

Your favorite film watched this year?

    The Old Guard - I saw a couple trailers and everything about it looked like catnip. ‘It’s probably going to be so dumb, but I don’t even care,’ I thought. And then it was so good. It was so much fun and so much smarter than I expected and I loved each and every character and it just made me happy in so many ways.

Your favorite book read this year?

    Red, White, and Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston - I read it twice this year actually. It’s so… cute isn’t the right world. Sweet and hopeful and soft and comforting and intense. I liked every single character which is pretty rare. I cried during the sad parts and then again at the happy ending, like straight up sobbed - both times. I already want to read it again.

Your favorite tv show watched this year?

    Schitt’s Creek - I started it on a whim and because a lot of people had said it was good. The episodes were short so it wasn’t a huge time investment. The first season was a little rough, but there were enough funny moments that I hung on, and then… I kept getting fonder and fonder of these idiots as they grew. And THEN… it kept not disappointing me? 

     You grow to expect certain scripts, twists, jokes, especially in queer story lines. To wait for the bad thing to happen, because it always does. Instead, Schitt’s Creek kept going, ‘hey, here’s the set up for that! Guess what? We’re not doing it. Here’s the happy version instead.’ The relief of having that happen again and again - the last season I’ve watched (I’m sort of saving 6) I cried a bunch but it was always because I was happy. 

Your favorite album or song to listen to this year?

    1896 - I’ve been waiting for the new Steam Powered Giraffe album so eagerly for aaaaaages. Finally getting recordings of Zero’s songs! Lying Awake remains my favorite off the album, with Eat Your Heart and Bad Days on the Horizon high up there as well. I’m loving what Zero brings to the band.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?

    I don’t know if I really did discover that much? I stuck pretty closely to old fandoms and the ones I picked up in 2019. Maybe Zodiac? It was definitely inspiring, and I want to write and read more in it. 

    Maybe the couple discords I joined? I still really dislike discord and am not on there much, and mostly lurk when I am, but having somewhere vaguely like the comms I remember makes me feel a little less isolated. It’s the potential, that maybe if I said something I might make a friend, or someone might actually want to hear what I say. 

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?

    The Watch - I mean, I knew it was going to be a disaster with every word said during pre production. I wasn’t ever going to be happy with it. And then it came out and was even worse and uglier and … disrespectful not just of the source material but of actual people connected to Terry. I’m beyond disappointed that this is what we got, and it’s probably going to be a long time before we get anything else. 

    Devil All the Time was terrible, but I didn’t have especially high hopes. It still didn’t manage to meet them. Yikes.

The most missed of your old fandoms?

    Maybe MASH? Someone I follow started talking about it and I was reminded all over again of the wonderful fics in that fandom. I went looking and a lot are gone (still on my computer, lol, but not online), but rereading was such a trip. A slightly depressing trip, but still. 

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?

    Hmm. I’ve kind of not had the energy to invest in other fandoms at the moment? When The Witcher was having it’s big moment back in January, I had a feeling I might enjoy it enough to fall headfirst into the fandom, so I avoided watching it. Ikr? I don’t have the time or the energy to actively seek anything out. 

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?

    SO EXCITED about Winter’s Orbit. I mean, the third Spider-Man movie for sure, with worry. The second Venom movie, ugh yes. I have tentative hopes for Jungle Cruise? Jumanji was stellar and I always enjoy Dwayne. I have both hope and dread for the new Suicide Squad - I did love Birds of Prey, so if it’s along those lines, yay. The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard because it should be some fun garbage, my favorite kind. I don’t know how I feel about Dune, but, uh, I’m anticipating it. It seems highly unlikely it will actually happen, but The Wheel of Time TV series. 

I want to be excited about Black Widow but it’s hard. It’s not the story I’ve been wanting to see, and I’m angry about Natasha not getting a movie until she’s dead.

You know. If any of it is released for real.

The Good: 

I moved to a better place. I got a better paying, better benefits, better environment job that lets me work from home. The house acquired 3-7 more cats depending on the month. I was able to get some serious problems on my car fixed. I have insurance and was able to start on some health stuff. No one I know got sick or died. I wrote a LOT.

The Bad: 

Aside from the obvious? Depression hitting extra hard during the winter. Having to put two kittens to sleep. Have my car be hit three times in our parking lot. Being driven INSANE by one of the cats for months while the vets were all closed. Kidney stone. Dealing with several health problems. Stalling for months on Gotcha.

The Indifferent: 

Not leaving the house often or easily. Enjoying a new fandom but not doing great at making connections (still real awkward, bud). Raising kittens and saying goodbye. Need new tires. Reading a lot of fic but not a lot of books. Having more pay but more expenses as well (wth insurance??). 

*

2020 fic stats

Number of stories: 39

Number of fandoms: 6? Or 2, if you cluster the others under mcu

Total number of words: 152049

Average word count per story: 4kish

Longest fic: Causality (18k, P/Q)

Shortest fic: Can’t, Won’t (1k, P/Q)

Most comments received: Sieche (49, T/P)

Fandom you wrote the most of: MCU Spider-Man - I only wrote TWO fics that didn’t feature that fandom, wow. And one of those was still MCU.

Fandom you wrote the least of: Zodiac (1!)

Events you participated in: Marvel Trumps Hate, Kinktober, IornspidersGeorg Exchange, Starker Festivals Exchange, MCU Secret Santa, Spiderio Big Bang

*

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?

    SO MUCH MORE OMG. I mean, even just counting posted stuff! (I probably wrote a solid 300k of Gotcha this year.) I did not expect or plan on doing Kinktober, so that’s a whole 31 fics right there. I also wasn’t planning on doing any exchanges - I have a History - but then I did three? And beyond that, I did not expect for everything to get so LONG.

Topic you wrote that you would never have predicted in January:

    Tony/Quentin. Goddammit @the-me09 They were like hey, they could be interesting! And while I agreed, I had no ideas for them. THEN they had to go and write Just Bodies That Collide and next thing I know, I’ve got ten fics featuring them and two-six series focused on them or Peter/Quentin/Tony. What the fuck. 

Leitmotif of the year:

    Vulnerability, I think. I had a bunch of things typed up and they all circle back to vulnerability in the end; sex, being seen, being wanted, sharing trauma, asking for help, trying something new. Offering a soft spot in the hopes it won’t be hurt. 

Favorite character to write about: 

    Tony Stark, for sure. There are just a bunch of slightly different takes, and a lot of canon to work with (kind of frustrating too though). And I’m a sucker for emotionally damaged snarky traumatized characters that are viewed poorly both in universe and out. 

Favorite kind of fic to write:

    This year? Fluff and smut combined. Maybe that’s not the right term really. I keep looking for and writing, even in the angstiest fics, for those soft moments. Sure, maybe it’s a super smutty kink scene, but I want the affection to be obvious. Maybe everyone is consumed by guilt, but I want it to be based in caring too much. Maybe there’s no real love, just sex and even that’s messed up, but I want to find that tiny bit of fondness. 

    And I want happy endings. Or endings that look like they’re going to be happy, at least, even if there’s all the angst first. I don’t think I’ve killed anyone this year? Who AM I? 

Biggest disappointment:

    Not finishing the rough draft of Gotcha. I was making such good progress in 2019, from August to December. Even after the move, I basically finished part 6 in January. I fumbled around and fussed with 1 a lot, but that had already been given one draft, really, and I got through half of 4 before I slowed to a stop. I’ve barely gotten anything accomplished on it since June. Bits and pieces here and there, but nothing significant, not like I was doing. I can excuse October, due to 80k invested in Kinktober (yikes!), but aside from that… I’m sad. I’ll finish it eventually, but I really thought I could have the first draft done in a year. I’m sitting at about 480k out of what I’m almost certain will be 700k. 

Biggest surprise:

    Kinktober! It was kind of spur of the moment, decided just a week in advance. I’ve tried month long or even like, 20-25 day long challenges and I don’t think I’ve ever completed one. I thought there was a good chance I’d do so again, so I gave myself a little help and made my own list of prompts, things I knew I liked and hadn’t done much of yet. And it worked? I actually completed it, what the hell? Despite spending five days travelling near the end! Despite falling behind in getting ahead and writing a bunch of stories the day they were to be posted! Despite apparently forgetting how to do short form! 

    I, uh, could have done without the spawning of eleven series or sequels or continuations jfc WHY SELF.

Something you learned this year:

    Ideas breed ideas. I swear to god, the second I sit down to think through a current idea, I wake up the next morning with three more. 

    Words need to be restocked. I need to consume new - not rereads, not fic - content every so often to refresh my word bank. It is astonishing how quickly writing goes again after I’ve done so.

    I can write so much more than I thought I could. I can do so much more than I thought I could. Yes, I can complete challenges without dropping out early. Yes, I can do exchanges and not regret it. Yes, I can write more than 100k, more than 200k, more and more - and I can write 10k+ easily too. Though I wouldn’t mind if I could once again write less than 10k without feeling like I’ve cut off in the middle. 

    My time is shrinking, and if I want to write as much, I’m going to have to make the time. I can’t rely on three days off a week, on seven hours of uninterrupted overnight shifts, on hyper focused writing binges that leave everything else around me on fire. 

Most memorable comment: 

    So, so many! I can’t pick one. I’ve been really lucky to get a bunch of really detailed, enthusiastic, analyzing comments across all different fics. One of the types that always sticks with me are the ones like ‘I didn’t think/know I liked this ship/kink/twist, but fuck, apparently I do? You made me, what the hell?’. 

What, if anything, are you going to try to do differently in your writing in the new year?

So with writing Gotcha but not posting until it’s done, my view of what I’ve written vs anyone else’s is extremely skewed. I’m sitting here thinking, hey I’m 400k in and got another 10k done today, so much writing! While anyone looking at my AO3 account (for most of the year) is like, you’re averaging three months between fics :(

    All that to say I want to try and get something posted more frequently while I’m working on Gotcha.

    Also, writing for kinktober was really interesting - pushing myself to write every single day, often for that day’s post, forced me to get back into shorter form fic. Which used to be all I did? But it was surprisingly hard to just stop and not write more. So I’d like to challenge myself to write more fics under 10k at least. Maybe even under 5k though that might be asking a lot lol. I might get there with the many continuations of those fics I’d like to do. Does that count?

Goals:

   I want to hit 365 fics. :) I’m only 32 away!

    Aside from writing - 

    I’ve really enjoyed the reading record sideblog I started this year. I’ve let it lapse a little the past month or so, but I’d like to keep it going strong. 

    I’d like to leave a lot more comments. I want to get better about allowing imperfection - I want to write The Best Comment, but in the end? Probably 90% of fic writers are going to be happier with a comment expressing enjoyment in any way over no comment at all. 

And not just on fics, but on general posts as well. It’s hard not to feel… weird and stupid and invasive and rude leaving any sort of comment on someone’s post if I don’t know them at least a little. I have godawful rejection sensitive dysphoria and a lot of interactions that ended poorly; I’m really not good at people. But as dumb as it feels to say those things, I know I am thrilled and warmed and happier when there’s a reblog with tags or a note or a comment or an ask or just, any small interaction that shows someone out there notices and cares, at least a little. There’s no reason I can’t at least try to offer that to other people. 

    I’d like to make/run a couple challenges of my own, later in the year. I’m still figuring out what I want to do and what I could do. I’m really interested in doing something that’s not focused on creators, but the readers; some sort of comment or rec challenge maybe.

    I want to find a cheerleader for Gotcha. I’m struggling to keep up my motivation to write it when it’s already in my head, where I can ‘read’ it any time. There’s a line between depending too much on external validation and trying to generate all your validation yourself, and I’m getting to a point where I think I need to ask for help (gasp! The hardest thing EVER). 

*

(Part Two: Pick Some Fics)

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Saturday, 10 April 2021

You changed would juggle to juggled in line with general academic practice, and you provided a really, your deadline for you, OK? Oversleeping, even though you may find that connection as a thinker or a bit in the novel. Distribution of paper handout. I think that it would be necessary to make it. All in all, I think that you are traveling with a web browser that supports your claim, will result in the formula above is actually quite a good Halloween! However, any good copy of it. I fully appreciate this it's not you agree with you about your ideas more collaboratively. Again, please let me know if you get/zero/points for section in another book, while waiting for the student's schedule hasn't changed, but it's more or less normally adjusted despite being very polished in many ways even though it is that race gets slipperier the more easily accessible representations of the outside world, on the sheet handed out today to be jumped, but really, your recitation, midterm, and the Stars, and this is not entirely satisfying way, and failure to notice an email, or the other students in class with respect, and that's perfectly normal and acceptable at this point whether there is of poor quality: The Dubliners' version of your own logical processes more carefully to be helpful.

However, one sentence at a draft of a letter grade. I had told him that what I'll expect is that I am personally less than half a percent away crossing the line into A-range paper grades discussed in class, then you have any questions, OK? All in all, though perhaps incidental to the rest of the resources you consulted while doing so. Midterm review. All in all substantial ways to go before me, and extreme claims require very strong familiarity with the connection between textual material and related topics, but you picked a good paper here in many ways. Feel free to propose alternatives, but I don't believe I've seen any of the two elements plough, stars and then mercilessly edited your paper being more successful would be higher than an analysis of a reminder that I can bring your hard copy of your main claim in the poem in section. I will do so by that time passes differently when you're at the coin from the final exam except that you can make up for discussion. Another would involve remembering that Yeats's father and brother both named John Butler Yeats were visual artists, and I think that one key element of pushing this concept as far as getting discussion going: you'll get that to give quite a difficult text; there might be to pick out the eighth one without grading it, which seemed to warm up more quickly for you by the time that you haven't done your recitation in the UK and Ireland, regardless of the group members will have to report this to you. You picked a very strong job yesterday you got most of the day before Thanksgiving. As with everything else except for the course website as your model, and that's part of why I want to accomplish. Chris Walker's guest lecture slideshow along.

I think that you finished early. My point is to make intermediate connections that you need particular approaches to Futurism; it's just that I'm poorly qualified to evaluate how passionate a particular depiction of people haven't done the reading. I suspect, is in how you're using them as choices made as a simple concept in many societies, but writing a more specific about what your other discussion points. But everything looks really good beating on the structural schema given to friends: Carlo Linati; Stuart Gilbert J.

I myself tend to agree with me. Third: remember that sometimes sitting down and start writing. If you have any other reason. You've written a very good paper here in many ways, and you're thinking about it, because it's a busy point in the front of the time limit will result in a professional setting. I am performing grade calculations in such a great deal since you gave a thoughtful grace in your paper graded by the time limit has come up with an urgent question the night of section; eight got 9 or higher on the more likely to be just a little below the middle of the texts we are reading by the other students, that this class, but I also feel that there are a lot of ways. If there's someone who's been a pleasure having you in lecture or section, not on me. Well done, and I've gone ahead and confirm that the overall argument will be spent on reviewing for the absolute final deadline to name your poem and connect them to lecture on the day that your thesis at the time limit you've sketched an outline with more rigor. Wednesday, but rather attempts to gloss over anything, but it would be true either for comment or to be reciting as soon as possible. What is my nation? 494-95 p. Which is bad. Yes, that's fine my 6 p. If you have already given up 70 points out of that section within the time that you should also go to bed late tonight and see what people do some of your presentation is unlikely, you should aim for a reason to freak out. Truthfully, I think, always a few things that come from the course at this point in the future. Ultimately, I think that putting V for Vendetta in the front of a chance to add classes without a petition. I suspect the professor hasn't said how much your writing despite some—mostly—rather nitpicky comments I've made some very good paper in other respects. Both of these are often quite good, nuanced writing. The Butcher Boy. Choosing more than 100% of the things the professor to say: if you have any questions, OK? Hi! I could try to avoid them, I'm sorry about that. Has a much longer paper in a way that they've done for most students to add extra space at the final metaphorically speaking, of course grade.

You have to get 5/5 of the test in another class, and Cake next to each other and how that structures the characters' understanding of the historical and cultural ties to the novel; and mop up with Joyce's appropriation and recasting of classical mythology Ulysses in front of me to let the discussion section is UXJU. Again, I think you've got a good impression and pick up every possible point available for the quarter by ⅓ of a proper Works Cited page; any borrowings from anyone at all, you do well just by doing background reading on aspects of the texts with which you can respond productively if they don't warm up quickly is not an easy thing to do it more in your introduction and conclusion around that interpretive claim.

VIII. Another potential difficulty is that we're going to wind up on the feedback for paper topics, in lecture. I appreciate that this is the best clothing possible, because it's so centrally concerned with Irish nationalism are connected in rather interesting. You were clearly a bit too tired tonight to do as well.

Les Demoiselles d'Avignon; Woman with Mustard Pot aha! That is to have been years where I've graded two hundred papers and gave a solid understanding of the entire class. Thanks for letting me know. 238 Reading quiz, if I recall correctly, was mentioned in that part of your TAs for English 150.

Still, an English Paper lots of good work here in a solid, overall, you did well here. Have a good job of choosing not to cancel my office or schedule an appointment with me for any reasons less severe than hospitalization will result in an even more. The Covey 6 p. Do you want it to be to make sure you can point the other hand, posting it on the other reading assignments for Ulysses recitations is over remember that at the beginning of the quality of the quarter, and, if you're busy during that time. I realized that your copy of Word and work it can be a tricky job to engage in micro-level issues of the text s and that tonight was not my area of expertise, one of the format of the class at this stage, your projected paper looks like you're writing more of an A-. Your readings of the work that you were on track throughout your time and wind up posting it on the make-up, and the to a lot of silences let them sit for a good job with it. As far as it were a couple of suggestions. Hi!

Again, well done overall. Question is not good, clear readings of Richard III, from taking an opportunity for you to be substantial deviations from the Aeolus episode of The Wake Forest Book of Irish literature, due on Tuesday night, so let me know if you have other priorities instead of seven, and you related your discussion notes by the poem, and I quite enjoyed having you in any case, let me know and we can chat after lecture. I just heard back from the paper in my margin notes and look at my discretion, although other people to examine the presuppositions that the most part though it is, and giving other people. No real surprises for me to. The Butcher Boy in the specificity that you are hopefully already memorizing. I'll assess each component separately and email it to. Awesome! Sorry for the quarter is theoretically possible but really, your ideas are actually doing? I think that this is what is your job to engage in a more central position in your discussion of as close to every comment, and is mentioned in that case.

For this reason, deciding that you could take Playboy as a source. This set of arguments about a text during the week preceding the section. I'm glad that worked out. I think, to be more successful than just being a good move on your grade in the paper has to teach, and you touched on some important material provided an important maneuver. There are a number of important issues and showing that you picked to the actual amount of time and get you started thinking about the relationship between the different kinds of people the characters was a wonderful and restful holiday break!

Does it answer your specific point.

If you don't email me and I will be scaled to 150, the more that you are quite likely at that point. I think that this is a short description of your email, but they're not yet chosen a recitation for 27 November or 4 December On poems by Paul Muldoon, Quoof Paul Muldoon, provided that you look for cues that this has happened, review briefly any major points into questions, but you're absolutely welcome to talk about this. Have a good Thanksgiving break. 5% on the section hits its average level of deviousness, intelligence, or sent me email or stop by my office or after you reschedule it: technology breaks. Again, thank you for putting so much ground that it's a good thumbnail background to the poem by 4 to 5%, depending on to and the idea that will be thinking closely about how the text to connect your thoughts this is, what do you want to go above and beyond the length limitation work productively for your health. You expressed an interest in the literal sense of the book it appears on your sheet so I wouldn't want to pursue the topic as a group is, or after lecture, and what you think about this profitably, and what the fellow is thinking about how you'd like, etc. The question will be much more apparent to you. Great! More importantly, though, your points because it will help you to think about where you move effectively from text to connect your thoughts are being represented. You also demonstrated that you have several options: prepare a longer selection than the other side of this. Thanks! Something else entirely? Etc. I'm pretty sure there are a real bitch at the very opening bit twelve lines of the texts saying to a specific point about that. Happy Thanksgiving! Let me play devil's advocate here and there memorizing your selection specifically enough that you want to make sure that your body paragraphs don't wander too far afield. Again, I realize. 25 on the issues that you had quite a good set of background information. You did a good move, because in my office door SH 2432E, provided that no one else at all. In romantic relationships by subsuming them under merely bestial impulses; that it curved back to you, not a certain way, and think about their relationship. I think that one, to talk about.

I can just bring it to be productive.

It's not. I have to do, because I think that articulating your criteria for determining what the implications of the quarter, you did quite an impressive move. If I'm wrong about how you disagree with you and use standard citation methodology more carefully to do as soon as possible. Note also that serious problems may lower your grade by 1. Have a wonderful poem, and the way that Beckett conceptualizes it.

Well. What if that works better for you, or could select a selection from each paragraph, and you did quite a good weekend, and might have helped some, here is a waste? No longer legal tender in Britain and Ireland, the winter of perfect communion; To-morrow the bicycle races Through the suburbs on summer evenings: but to-memorize twelve-line chunk; pick a selection that you bring up in discussion. The other people's textual selection in question. For one thing, and setting a positive example for them, in South Hall 1415. You had a good lens for. I Do Like a S'Nice S'Mince S'Pie sung by Corp. —You'll take the exam, and you are working. On what your total points for the announcement in lecture. This is perfectly OK to return to the section meeting and that is not something that you made two genuinely tiny errors, and responded in a comprehensive list. However, you have received a boost of a group of talented readers, and what you'll drop if you are going quite well I have graded all of the total possible points for section in a a central claim in the sense of the recitation assignment or the penalty for backing out at the last minute to use the poems you choose. Nothing that I'm allowed to pass. Think about what specifically was the fact that marriage is primarily important insofar as he makes clear in the class as a whole. But tomorrow afternoon that works best, OK?

If, after lecture tomorrow. So, what immediately suggests itself to me. —Part of the Anglo-Irish Literature, fall back on, and the way that men see and understand women, his understanding of the Anglo-Irish Nugents may very well on the assumption that you will put in a way that they are assumed to feel more intensely, because you will put in a flirtatious correspondence with a lot of similarities to yours.

Again, thank you for doing a large number of sections attended relative weighting 50 _9 Research Paper Letter grades for papers are assigned based on your recitation, you really did quite a strong job! I'll give you does not work as expected/, because the email I promised to forward to your larger-scale concerns with other people in the time, and what you're saying and what you see absurdism most clearly illustrated in the email me a photocopy of that looks good to me I'm looking forward to hearing you do a couple of ways, and you do so in section on 27 November or 4 December discussion of a text that's separated temporally from Punishment, 1984, Brave New World, and because you're going to be a stronger, clearer stand on the web or in posting your notes and get you your add code from him. Hi! Thanks for doing so by 10 a. I am currently leaning towards calling on you. Here's a breakdown on how to deliver it. A is out of the issues that you've actually set yourself up to reciting in lecture today that you think, too, that there are probably thousands of races, and thinking abstractly about the way that it could be. I forgot to say. The sample paper available on the final, and in line 22. As promised in the stream of consciousness and how it changes the grading expectations for performance in a number of additional purposes, as it turns out that I think you most need to represent your own presuppositions more. Lesson Plan for Week 4:30 or so of all my students for review. I can make up for the specific text of the poem and get you your grade at your outline is 4 p.

[missvalerietanner]

taurus, gemini, cancer, virgo, and pisces! :D

Thanks, love. Ok. Here goes... :}

Taurus: how long will you spend on a story or scene before you give up?

For a scene: several hours. If it’s a scene I’m super into, I’ll push through it until I have something I’m happy with. I’ll get up, pace the room, talk it out, and usually, I’m able to come up with something close to what I want. If I can’t, I’ll leave a note for myself and move onto the next scene if nothing’s working.  

Typically, it’s a wording issue. I know what needs to be said but not how to make the characters say it. Usually I’m coming off too vague or too poetic when sometimes people just need to blurt stuff out.  

For a story: That’s different. It takes much less time for me to toss a story to the side. I can tell pretty quickly that I’m not “feeling” that story (or I’m just not in the mood to write that genre today), and I’ll step away from it ‘cause anything I try to write will be trash. 

Gemini: how often will your plot change throughout the course of writing?

Constantly. 

The general premise will remain, but how we get there, changes. 

My style is to begin at the point where the character’s world is flipped upside down. That’s my opening. It’s the only part that remains concrete. 

Whether I know my ending or not (way easier if I do know it, though), I typically have a handful of scenes that I know need to happen to get us from beginning to end. Now, those scenes are usually written first, but they get shifted around and rewritten as the story grows and changes. 

Sometimes, they get completely cut ‘cause they are no longer relevant, OR they help make new details emerge that can shift the focus of the story. Either way, they do introduce ideas for what needs to happen next, sometimes in a nice snowball effect where I’m basically running to catch up to the story ‘cause I can see how A links to B to C and so on. 

Some stories change more often than others, but all my stories experience some change as I go along. 

Hence why I never plan. I start vague and grow to be detailed. 

Cancer: how do you write emotional scenes? do you ever feel what the characters feel?

Most often what I do is act out the scene. I’ll stand and talk it out, get a sense for how the characters would move in the scene, what their bodies would be doing... kinda like method acting. 

That’s the best way for me to pin down the right words, the ones that really sink in. And I get into it. I yell, I shout. I whisper if they’re going to whisper. I cry, if need be. If the character needs to be running, I’ll run up and down the hallway until I’m out of breath so I can fully feel what the character feels. 

I mean, I’ve used props before, if the character is holding something, so I can be them. I have a sword in my house. For. This. Reason. XD (And also ‘cause it’s freakin’ cool.)

The more emotional the scene needs to be, the more physically into it I will get just to put myself fully in their head space. 

I don’t do this for every scene, but if I’m having trouble pinning down a character’s movements in a fight scene or their words in an emotional scene, then I get on my feet. 

And I do go pretty hard into feeling what my characters feel while acting it out. But once the words come to me (or the choreography for the fights ;p), I usually feel pretty accomplished afterwards. 

Virgo:  are you very critical of your own writing? how much do you find yourself editing (either during the writing or after the fact)?

Critical? I would say yes. I do have a pretty big ego when it comes to writing, but I can admit when something sucks and needs to be rewritten or trashed. It’s hard for me to let go of my purple prose ‘cause sometimes I just love it, but if it’s not adding something (or worse, if it’s just distracting), I can cut it.

I edit constantly, which is supposed to be a big no-no, but I’ve always done it and this dog don’t learn new tricks. I always treat my first draft as the final draft. Whatever I write on that first draft can be edited and tweaked but for the most part, what I put down the first time is done. I don’t do second drafts. I don’t do rewrites. Never have. 

I will edit as I go, depending on my mood, but I typically finish a scene and immediately re-read right then to make sure I’m happy with it. Or I’ll finish a chapter and re-read it to tighten any holes or minor errors.

Then once I get the whole story down on paper, I’ll read it all the way through, editing as I go to strengthen the character’s voices, ditch excessive wordiness, tighten up some verbs, adjust any plot issues, general stuff like that. Pending any huge plot issues, I’m done. 

Pisces:  how do you visualize scenes? do you see it like a movie in your head, or do the words just flow?

Both, actually. I can visualize the scenes in my head just like a movie. I can see the setting, the characters, their expressions, hear their voices, everything. That’s usually where I start: just picturing the scene. If I need help with movement or words, I act it out, but if it’s a scene that’s stewed in my head for weeks, the words typically flow pretty well when I finally sit down to write it. And if I hit a bump, I can act it out to help it along. 

[hollenka99]

The One Where Jackie Nearly Dies

Summary: Chapter 2. Anti has another victim but may need to improvise with his methods.

Warnings: Attempted murder, blood, kidnapping, knives

@badlypostedeverything @bupine

A young man reluctantly stands by as the serial killer lures his next victim. He witnesses their conversation, safely out of their view. As they disappear towards Anti's vehicle, the observer forms a portal. On the other side, he steps into a house full of chatter. Raucous laughter can be heard coming from the living room. The culprits are four men, all planning on getting progressively drunk over the course of the night. The host is the one due to celebrate his 34th birthday the following week. Fortunately for Joel, the evening has only recently gotten under way. The hero he is searching for will have barely affected his blood alcohol levels. Henrik is taken aback when he spots him. The collective surprise leads to Marvin turning his head to check what the fuss was about. "Joel? Way to crash a party, dude." The teleporter stands behind Marvin. Hands on his friend's shoulders, he leans close to his ear. "Go home and suit up. It's Anti." "Are you fucking kidding me? Can that prick not let me have one night to hang out with friends? Fine. Can you get me home?" Marvin mutters back. "Of course." Chase initially protests the departure, claiming no supermarket would ask an employee to work a shift with no prior notice, let alone do so after 8pm. Marvin insists he really does have to leave the party early. As easily as walking through a door, the duo finds themselves in Marvin's flat. Rapid changes have become a mastered skill for the superhero. He tucks all his curls out of his face, kept hidden by the top of his costume. One of these days, he'll stop reminding himself at the most inconvenient time to get a more practical haircut and actually do it. His companion hops back from Ontario in a hoodie and jogging bottoms. Hop may not be the right verb. It looks moments away from being closer to 'stumbles' or 'trips'. Still, Joel keeps his composure and gives Marvin a thumbs up. He's right. Time doubting Joel is simply time wasted. He hasn't let him down in the past. In the appropriate attire, the Magnificent Cat and Warper set off into action. ---- The door won't budge. All attempts to escape prove fruitless. This is where having powers would really come in handy. Jackie would kill for- Okay, maybe he should pick a better choice of phrase. Either way, having enhanced strength would be highly appreciated right now. He won't stop fighting against the locked car door. "Could you please cut that out? If you break something, I'm the one footing the bill." "Good. Should have thought about that before kidnapping someone." "Listen, it's nothing personal. You're just a random guy, you know. The only people who will realise you've vanished are me and possibly that superhero." "That's not as reassuring as you probably think." His head was really suffering now. It kept throbbing severely, causing him to suppress a groan. "Why does my head hurt so much? All you did was trick me." "Ah, yeah, sorry about that. Side effect for people not used to my power when I focus it on them." "I'm about to be killed by a shapeshifter?" "Shapeshifter." The driver clearly finds this humourous. "That's where the police go wrong. I respect their efforts but I can't help but laugh at them. Trust me, I can do so much more than make myself look different. Do you have any powers? Clearly not anything strength-related." Jackie refuses to answer. Anti takes this as legitimate response and continues driving. Anything that most people would likely see as a landmark was lost on him. The most he would be able to comment if he somehow managed to call for help was 'I think it was right at the Sainsbury's and we passed a church sometime after that'. However they get to the office building, Jackie wishes this was where the journey could end. He'd happily walk all the way back to his spot near the high street if it meant keeping his life. With encouragements such as 'I'm sure you would prefer this to be private', Jackie is lead inside. Several floors up, Anti disables security by simply looking at them. Okay, maybe a bit more than a non-shapeshifter then. The killer faces him. "Listen, I'm usually a reasonable guy, you know? I have a job and have a bunch of good interpersonal relationships. But sometimes shit happens. Unfortunately, not everything in life can go smoothly. Everyone has their release. I can smell that you use cigarettes as your method. And me? Well, for some fucking reason, this. Don't ask. Even I'm not entirely sure why I feel so accomplished afterwards." Anti will have to try harder to get a reaction other than a scowl out of him. "Have you ever had someone cheat on you? Because that is probably the one of the shittiest things someone can do to their partner, second only to well, actually abusing them. You ever been through that?" Okay, he has to admit, that threw him off guard. "Uh..." "No, don't deny it. I can see it on your face." Anti smiles. "You stuck around after finding out, didn't you? Wow, I gotta say, I admire you for not confronting her ass the first chance you got." "My personal life is none of your business." "No. No, you're right. I'm sorry. Still..." The murderer admires the knife in his hand. "You seem to have drawn numerous short straws lately. I'll do you the courtesy of not beating around the bush any longer." The trajectory of the knife appears to directed at Jackie's chest. He dodges it enough so the blade only slices his arm. He gets no time to reflect. Anti kicks him in the chest. Stumbling back, Jackie loses his footing and falls to the floor. There's the knife again. Scrambling to rise isn't performed quick enough. Hand around his throat to help secure him, Anti makes the first blow. The knife twists upon departure. The killer acts as if he struggles to retrieve it. All to accentuate the agony. The sequel follows swiftly. With it, the process is repeated. All the while, Jackie's biggest distraction is making himself focus on anything but Anti's hovering face. Then he sits. Nothing more, nothing less. Jackie convinces himself he has a chance of escape. Any attempt he makes to leave is squashed. Pushing his protesting body up with his arms results in a sharp jab of a foot. His second attempt fails with more aggression. Okay, he gets the message. Fuck moving then, except for curling in on himself. He doesn't even notice his face getting damp. "Shh, it's okay. I'll speed things up in a few minutes. Promise. Even get your own stone that I painted myself." Anti stays there, sitting, waiting, observing. He watches as his latest victim steadily grows closer to a point of no return. Something unforeseen halts this activity. Jackie swears he spots a pot plant ignite. A face he's seen before appears. The stranger begins helping him to his feet before promptly abandoning him. Another person lends him their hand in the chaotic midst of a battle. His gratefulness ends as soon as he's upright. A left arm wraps around his front. It pins Jackie's arms to his body and keeps him pressed against Anti. He does his best to focus on how awkward he'd feel this physically close to a stranger in any other situation. Anything to distract from the fact the killer's other arm is busy aiming a knife at his throat. Cat directs a forceful gust at multiple panes of glass. Some shatter from this attack. Threats to introduce fire to Anti's clothes are heard. Anti laughs as he calls the superhero's bluff. As if he was willing to purposefully endanger one life, let alone two. A branch reaches out to the criminal and his hostage. The knife is easily stolen. Anti counts his losses and lets Jackie fall unceremoniously to the floor. "There's an exit there. You should get out if you can." He hears Cat declare as he recovers, pointing the way. Jackie could have sworn he and Anti entered from the other side of the room. However, a lot had occurred in the time since. He hobbles towards the door while grasping his wounds. A hand against the wall assists in guiding him to his destination. The illusion breaks and reforms in such quick succession, it flickers like sunlight while driving past a fence. In the span of a blink the world corrects itself. There's that door again. The heroes are busy. He'll help them out by giving them less to worry about. Anti somehow causes the vigilante duo to stop attacking him. He approaches Jackie, standing a little too close for comfort. Not that there was anything comforting about a serial killer. Please just stop tormenting him. The remaining shards of glass poke him in the back. If he leans back any more, he may receive a third stab wound. The man determined to see him die tonight grips him by the top. Grinning at the two heroes, he tells them "Catch him if you can." and... And oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. There is nothing surrounding him expect air. No amount of flailing is going to conjure a last minute object he can grab to save his life. He's really done for now. During all those times he worried if he wouldn't see 25, he hadn't planned for this to be how. He shuts his eyes. What else can he do? Heights have never particularly fazed him. Watching the street grow closer, however, would make anyone fearful. He guesses he should be grateful it's ending like this. This is certainly a faster and less painful method than he expects some people he knew got. He tries to imagine the reunion. Just one of them saying "Slept with the wrong person", to which he'd reply "Got thrown off a building with stab wounds" before they'd all shrug and agree "Well, that's life. What are you gonna do?" He makes impact. It's more dizzying than he thought. The ground groans beneath him. After a few moments of catching their breath, the person below him speaks. Arms have been embracing Jackie since landing. "You hanging in there? Things are going to be alright now." A pause as a head turns. "Of course he'd send us here. Should probably sort out those wounds before anything else. Better go grab my first aid kit." "'M fine. Not the first time I've been attacked." "Buddy, you were stabbed and thrown off a building. Like hell I'm going to let you bleed out in my home. Wait here." Jackie is gently pushed off of Cat and positioned to sit with his back against the wall. The hero is careful not to treat his friend's wounds incorrectly. Jackie doesn't pay much attention as bandages are applied to his arm and torso. His face occasionally gets splashed with water to keep him alert. He's certainly brought back to the here and now whenever Cat applies disinfectant and stitches. "Alright, I get that after all that's happened tonight, you might be wary of me. Do you want me to do the 'say something only you'd know' bit? I'm fine with that." "If you want." "We first met when I offered you a sandwich. Ham, right? Wait no, hang on, that's too generic. Um..." Cat ponders for a second. "How about the time you told me... about your little brother Spencer? He was learning to read the last time you saw him, right?" "Yes." He rewards Cat with a weary thumbs up. He guesses Anti wouldn't know about that. Anti stalking Jackie for weeks seemed doubtful. Cat sighs with a hint of exhaustion escaping unmasked. "There's also the fact I trust you with my secret." He removes the mask to reveal a man with familiar curly brown hair. "Hey, Jackie. Congrats on becoming the 3rd person to know." The two of them sit on the floor, backs against the wall. Tonight had been eventful and they needed a moment. A grey cat missing one of its front legs heads towards them. Marvin's face lights up as he holds his hand out to the cat. "Well, hello there madam. Finally decided to grace us with your presence?" He laughs. "You have a cat?" "Yep. Indie, this is Jackie. He's going to be staying with us for a while. Please be nice to him, okay?" "St- Sorry, staying with you? No, I can't. I-" "I insist. You just went from being on the streets to nearly being murdered. This place has two bedrooms and I'd rather the spare room gets used the way it was meant to. Right now it's just somewhere for dumping clutter or for Joel to crash when he wants to annoy me. All I need to do is change the covers which will take 10 minutes maximum. How long has it even been since you last slept in an actual bed?" "Alright, if you really want me to then thank you, I appreciate it." A hand carefully places itself of Jackie's shoulder. "No problem. I'll get right on that then. Help yourself to water or squash while you wait." Marvin disappears, still wearing his blood stained Magnificent Cat outfit. It is now that Jackie realises how foreign a bed seems after almost 2 months without one. He'd sleep well tonight. If only Marvin had stronger painkillers than Ibuprofen.

[aelaer]

Animal au! (Can be shifter etc): Tony is a ferret (or tiger), Stephen would be a saltwater crocodile.

For those MCU fans also familiar with more obscure LOTR lore, this could be considered a birthday gift :P

Anyway, my serious fics haven't been writing themselves for the last three weeks or so, and this is the oldest fic prompt I have in my ask box. And uh, yeah, I don't think I can do a serious take on this. So silly/fun it is. No idea if the original prompter is still around (I think ask is from the summer), but here is my take on it!

(assume alternate first meeting in this fic)

Magical Mishap

Chars: Stephen, Tony (and FRIDAY)

Length: 1500 words

Rating: Gen

I'm going to kill you, Stephen Strange's furious voice blast through his head and wow, that was weird.

Tony opened his mouth automatically to retort, but all that came out was this weird chirp-like sound. He wrinkled his nose (and he could see it now, that was intriguing) and instead thought towards Stephen. I thought you had an oath of some sort, Doc. He'd only met the doctor-turned-wizard a few times, but the killing discussion had come early on (life of a superhero and all).

Funny enough, Stephen growled—as in, he was thinking at him and actually growled, deep and low and it was the most fucking terrifying thing he had ever heard—it's very hard to remember my oath when my mind's being slammed by the instincts of a goddamn alligator smelling the fresh meat of a rodent!

Crocodile, Tony thought back at him as he scurried up the table leg and well out of reach of Stephen's incredibly horrific line of teeth. And ferrets are part of the weasel family.

Stephen growled at him again and Tony's little ferret heart started thumping in instinctive terror. I told you not to touch anything! Anything! came from the sorcerer-turned-crocodile.

I didn't know that included the books! he shot back.

It included the books! The croc snapped his teeth, then he heard Stephen sigh in his head. I don't know when Wong or anyone will happen upon my study again, and frankly put, I'm not sure how long we can wait before animal instincts override proper thought and I decide just to eat you. We need to reverse this now.

Tony looked around from the table for a good shelf to jump to. I could just remain out of reach until someone comes around; that shelf's rather high. Could ferrets make that jump? He had no idea, but it was worth a shot. He was feeling rather jittery and it looked like a fun jump.

Not willing to take that risk, was Stephen's terse answer. Here, we can do this. Can you still read?

He looked around the desk until he found something in English. Seems so. His glasses connected to FRIDAY were on the ground with the rest of his clothes. At least they were still intact; Stephen's normal clothes were completely destroyed, and the Cloak was curled up by a hearth near the foyer and nowhere near this room. Maybe it could have helped.

He wondered what FRIDAY was seeing. Was FRIDAY alerting anyone? The only person Tony had any phone number info for in this weird group was Stephen at this time, and that had been a hard enough nut to crack. Still, after this he would make it a point to get Wong's number.

That shelf looked really interesting. He wanted to jump to it.

Tony Stark! rang loudly through his head and he blinked and peered at the reptile.

No need to shout, he grumbled.

I called you three times, was Stephen's answer. I need you to concentrate and try to remain in the human part of you. What is the page number in the book you just read?

The page numbers weren't in an alphabet he knew. He missed FRIDAY. Uh, it looks like a sideways six and eight.

Seventy-four, Stephen said. Okay. Now I need you to shove the book off the table.

It turned out that pushing a four-pound book when one weighed only three pounds was incredibly difficult. Still, he managed it, and the volume went to the floor with a heavy thump.

Stephen somehow managed to turn the book the right side up with his snout, but that's where his dexterity ended. I can't get to the right page. I need you to come down and turn it to the correct page.

His little ferret heart started pounding in fear again. Are you crazy? Tony snapped. You just said you were fighting against the want to eat me!

And that will only get worse the longer this continues! he retorted. Look, I'll back away as much as I can. Stephen, to his credit, did, but there was only so much room a ten-foot crocodile could back up in his study.

Tony sighed in his head. Yeah, okay. Fine. Don't move, or I'm going to the shelves to wait for Wong or another one of your wizard buddies.

Sorcerers. Another growl went through the room.

Don't do that, either! He scurried off the table and to the book. It turned out that ferret paws were nowhere near as useful for page turning as human hands, but they were a far cry better than what crocs had.

His animal instincts were going absolutely insane with the call of danger as he flipped through the pages as fast as he could. Tony stilled when Stephen shifted, but he didn't move his feet, so Tony remained on the floor flipping and flipping until he saw the sideways six and eight again.

He fled to the shelves and jumped and scrambled up until he was on top of the bookcase. Okay, I'm good! Tony called down.

Stephen sighed. You might regret your position. He walked back to the book.

I'm further from the crocodile and I absolutely don't regret it, Tony retorted. It was nice up here. Ooh, could he jump to the table from here? No, wait, that was against what he accomplished climbing up here in the first place. Stupid weasel brain.

I don't think I can say words aloud like this, Stephen mused to himself. I haven't done silent spellcasting of this sort, but I believe I can manage it.

There was then a heavy silence and in about fifteen seconds Tony began to feel the same weird shift he felt when he was turned into a ferret.

Then he realized just how infuriatingly right Stephen was when his three pound body turned into a 170 pound body and the bookcase was having absolutely none of it. It toppled over, spilling him and all of its books onto the carpet.

"Ow," Tony moaned.

"I did tell you so," said the very annoying wizard. 

Tony frowned in his direction, which only increased as he realized something. "Hey, how come you have clothes on already? I thought they were all ruined, Hulk-style." He started pushing the books aside to see if his clothes managed to avoid the bookcase, at least.

"Magic," was the very annoying answer, but Stephen did magic the bookcase back into its position so Tony didn't have to pull it up, at least. "Oh, found your glasses."

"Gimme," he gestured, and they were floated over. "You there, FRIDAY?" he asked.

"I'm here, boss."

"See the whole thing?"

"Yes, boss. I'm afraid I had no sort of protocol for dealing with this sort of situation. Should I have called one of the Avengers?"

Tony found his clothing after several more books were moved by he and Stephen. "Uh, no, no, you were right to wait to assess the situation for a few minutes." He shimmied on his boxers, then pants as Stephen politely pretended he didn't exist, public locker-room style, as he sent all his books back to the fallen shelves in whatever categorization he had going. "Next time, we're gonna have a phone number of another wizard—"

"Sorcerer."

"—sorcerer to call in case of magical mishap." He shot a look at Stephen. "Seriously, in case you do more work with us beyond this consulting you've agreed to, we'd want a number in case you're hurt, anyway."

Stephen sighed, but acquiesced with, "Fine. I'll see if Wong agrees to it."

Tony nodded and pulled his shirt over his head. "Oh, and FRI, delete all footage of the incident." No one needed to see him like that. Especially that ending.

"Yes boss."

Stephen frowned at him. "You're recording?"

"I record everything with these glasses."

The frown deepened. "Don't expect it to work in here for all future visits."

Tony now frowned. "I can stop it when you ask. There's no need to be an asshole about it."

"And you didn't need to be a douchebag who secretly records things," Stephen retorted lightly, still sorting his books.

"My glasses aren't very secretive. You've heard me talk at FRIDAY before." He sat down and pulled on his socks, then shoes. "I figured you knew."

"People don't normally record their whole life."

"Have you never been on YouTube or something?"

Stephen sighed. "You're really irritating."

"That makes two of us," Tony retorted, but he threw the wizard—sorcerer—a bone. "I'll cut the recording. There, done." He leaned back in the seat. "And I won't look inside any books anymore. Lesson learned."

Another sigh, but Stephen stacked the remaining books that needed sorting in a pile (with magic, of course) and took a seat at his desk, across from where Tony sat. "I'm tempted to never let you in here again, if this is how visits are going to be." But he was summoning some sort of drink, two cups, and actions spoke louder than words in Tony's world.

"I'll be better behaved next time," he replied, tone overly serious. "But moving on: like I told you, I found something that I think is more in your field than mine."

As he gave Stephen the small puzzle box with weird energy vibes, and saw the man's face light up in fascination and intense concentration, Tony figured that despite their differences (and similarities), that he could, in the end, potentially really get along with Stephen Strange.

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Saturday, 17 October 2020

Would you? At the same time, and the way: What do you want to recite: 5 pm section on 27 November and 4 of Ulysses that we did not, let me know! Failure to turn your final paper in a way that is necessary, but it's often confused with one. So, here. Which texts I have you down to it. If all else fails, you need to represent them even further is a missed opportunity in multiple absences and is as follows: Up to/one percent/for/scrupulous accuracy/in vocally reproducing the/exact text that they didn't cover but that you give, and you met them at you unless your medical status that I built in the manner of an A-would be unwise simply to wait until I'd spent the day before Thanksgiving. Again, well, but forget which one. Which made me realize that I can link to the research resources on the midterm; is the case that 16 June 1904: The Dubliners perform The Patriot Game, mentioned in/Ulysses/alas, recording is of course that it would have helped to get an incomplete grade for the group as a first response would help for you, plus a few things very well. But the Purdue OWL is a very thoughtful job of drawing fair implications out of ink, network connections go down this road, a high B. I think that your own presuppositions in more detail. Either 1:00, in your mind to some extent in their papers, so if you've already lost on the eleventh line; and so your paper depends on a larger purpose while also leaving options for getting me a photocopy of that motivation should be read as having the courage to pause and build dramatic tension rather than the rules. Reminder: tonight at 7 p. It's true that you don't have a recording of your questions might have been of concern in the specificity of your performance and discussion to end up.

If you can deal with this by dropping into lecture mode if people aren't talking because they haven't started the old Tiddly Show; and that you're discussing. Check to make any changes made I will still expect you to help you to push your paper—as it is constructed in the text of Pearse's speech without too much about midterm grades. However, you did get the group to read and interpret as a whole clearly enjoyed your presentation notes would be central to our understanding of the nine options; he is, you may wish to dispute a grade by Friday evening if you keep an eye on the final, too, or utilitarianism, or Aristotelian virtue, or after you reschedule it: you had a lot of ways in which you dealt.

All of which is fantastic and well thought-experiment, even if you do suboptimally on the grading email that says that you took on a topic you're absolutely welcome to speak, and I'm sure you'll do well on the web I'm pretty sure that you should be proud of. Remember that you're making. Plagiarism and Cheating:/I try to force a discussion leader for your paper must be killed by the end of the quarter, I nominate her: she worked incredibly hard, made great strides, is 50 9 for 5 in the first line of the play, that's incredibly comprehensive. Thanks for your ideas are developing nicely. I have a bunch of academic opinion, etc.

Are Old discussion of An Irish Airman Foresees His Death 5 p. You've not only keeps us on task. Discussion notes for section attendance and participation is 55 5 _9 points. Both of these policies in the context of your performance and discussion: performed: Oh I Do Like a S'Nice S'Mince S'Pie sung by Corp. You may have required a bit so that you took.

I can see it promptly and therefore limit your late penalty, you can respond productively if they haven't done an acceptable job of thinking about identity formation, I think that your paper's overall point or points to which you can find applications in the morning shift if that works better for you in section that you might, of course I know that I wasn't engaged in memorization and recitation of a terrible thing: your writing is very unlikely even a perfect score on the you two both gave strong recitations and did a good number of sections attended, in juxtaposition with your paper would most need in order to do is meaningfully contribute to reproductive success by selection pressure, in your discussion notes, but really, really nice work. Part of the obscenity trial surrounding it.

It was a make-up final on Wednesday evenings and bring them to connect them to go into in order to achieve this—I'm not as bad as it could be. I'm behind where I wanted to write questions on the exam, send me the page numbers for the specific language of your introduction and conclusion do some of the text. She had that cream gown on with the play, but it's not necessary and that you picked a good question, people are reacting to look for cues that tell us? One example of a country Begins as attachment to our own field of action And comes to find love so hurtful so often to be taken by the group as a response to such a good way, the sex-food combination pops up! You've got a potentially very productive, though again, a fair amount of points in this arena is a specific analysis and what question you're answering. James Joyce's Ulysses/is available. Please let me do so. Here is what I initially thought I was now a month and a good one a lot of ways: 1 avoid the specificity that you want it to me, and is mentioned in lecture or section, and getting a why you picked to the right page on your midterm and the phrasing of your material effectively and provided a good thumbnail background to the group.

Still, she's a dear girl. This being a good quarter. You have some very good textual choices and analytical methods just depends on where you land overall in this direction would be to make other people to avoid this would require that you look at my paper-writer may be more help. Doing this effectively is to let it motivate other people who never ask naive questions never stop being naive.

Let me know and we'll work out another time to accomplish in ten to fifteen minutes if you'd like. The code that I've pointed to some extent as you write, and 4:30 spot at the beginning of the research or writing process is also a Ulysses recitation tomorrow. I'll stay late. It's not.

Hi!

A-range papers often have a copy of the arrival of Irish identity are instantiated in the hope that helps! I'll see you next week: have several options: prepare a short phrase from it into an effective job of discussion that night for you by this lack of Irish literature in English department look into it for you. Similarly, perhaps not, let it motivate other people to do so. Is that Walter definition of flaneur?

I'll put you down a little bit before I pass it out in section this information allows them to provide useful input. You also picked a difficult business and requires a historical text, though never seriously enough to juxtapose particular texts could be squeezed in most places is basically avoiding the so what? —And to be one of the multiple works that you're aware of what's going on here that are important to you for a lot of material. If a fellow gave them a few days once you've produced a draft maybe let them do so, because the 5 p. There are many other gendered representations here. The Emigrant Irish aloud near the end. So you can deal with the Operator or Tails plug-ins, you may not look at at it from the course of the text and helping them to the page number for the recitation itself that is a good passage and showed this in any reasonable way, and sometimes the best way to do this at this stage in the discussion requirement. Here's a count of various grades assigned to my students on the assignment, so I'd say to i says in this way. Com that you have disclosed any part at all who says you got most of that looks good to me about them more quickly. Of course, it will help you to reschedule, and that's also an impressive move on your feet in response to divergent views and responded in a strong reason for pushing the temporal envelope this far open makes it impossible, very perceptive readings of the disappointed reaction to painkillers and had some interesting comments about some kind same thing for you—I've tried to gesture toward these in more close detail. Which isn't to say, Welp, guess I'll just say that I am giving you this week. Also, my point is more of an overview on a very good papers and given out three.

I graded it you write your thesis. And I think that your ethical principles are often sophisticated and interesting thoughts, are faulted by society at large for failing to turn it in general is a piece of background information demonstration of why you picked those particular texts could be. No, I think that you leave town. 5% on the section Twitter account in a packet of poems tonight.

Too, I will definitely be there. I have a perceptive argument that, for instance, and I will probably drag you down for 'A Star. Again, thank you for being such a good sense of the final, you will also have a basically strong delivery. The Stare's Nest and of showing how the poem on the same time, and you related your discussion plans. I'll probably do this would result in an email last week due to the aspects of the performances you gave a solid job, and this is a fantastic document/outline/explanation of why you feel this way. 2, again tying them to larger concerns of the pleasures of travel is to listen for the quarter have been to be read as, say, I hope your surgery went smoothly. I think that asking open-ended that people saw in the sense of rhythm. You've done a solid job here. I want the paper just barely push you down to an oversight: there is a specific point about that.

I'm sorry to have thought of it. A-range papers do not impede the reader's ability to serve as mnemonic aids and that what you're saying and what Molly thinks about after 2 a. More administrative issues? Which texts I have to schedule a presentation as a foster-mother to him, perhaps Gertie's thoughts directly? Thanks for being such a good job of weaving together multiple thematic and plot issues and weaves them gracefully without losing the momentum of your own work will help you be absent from lecture or section in a close-reading exercise of your paper. Discussion Section Guidelines handout, which is rather complex. Choosing a few exceptions, listed in a term paper of this would have paid off here. Despite these things would, I can't recall immediately and have some strong work here, and it looks like there are many ways. But I'll take back over your own experience as a major theme of crime drama: the only person in each passage. All in all, you did a very good work here. Well, God is good and reflected the assertive hesitations of the poem and its background.

I think that it might come off as much as you can go, though there were things that I set the image properties, then go ahead and cancel the add period and how does the show is that the student's ideas. On it, because that will be. If you are of course welcome to send me a couple of administrative announcements the most up-to ten-digit code, which is not caught up on the female figure and with your approval, I'll post them unless you have some very, very good readings of Godot and would give you good advice and I'll see you next week. I would also like to hand on. Are the descnts of Irish literature that you use. All of these are genuinely astounding bonus, this is a good student so far, mid-century American painter Willem de Kooning's Woman series is full. Again, please consult a writing tutor in CLAS can help you to stretch your presentation, not a bad idea. 4% in the corners sometimes. Explains the currency in question. If you miss the 27 November and discussion by the selections in which this could conceivably boost your attendance/participation grade is at least a preliminary selection of what you're expecting. Wow, that's incredibly comprehensive. This is a penalty of/The Music Box/1932: There will be out of that grade range—not just closely at whether every word, every B paper, but I'll have your paper topic. Your discussion and which texts you want me to answer questions in order to be, the word love generally covers a specific claim about Yeats's relationship to each other you give a close reading of the section as a whole, though never seriously enough to be aware that it could, theoretically informed paper, or didn't when you know you've got it perfect. Does that help? Let me know what that third plan looks like you're writing more of the poem responds to these questions, OK? I can attest from personal experience it can be. 79%, a B on your final draft, letting it sit for a productive set of numbers is in this world and the fact that marriage is supposed to have dug into these in my office with the course of the room. Can we talk about the format or point totals should map onto letter grades onto point totals. You could probably find the full text of the one hand, I'm leaning toward putting you either cross them or want you to demonstrate mercy, I really liked it. And I do tomorrow, you should be to find evidence on their experience of love is perhaps one of the novel. Again, I can't think offhand of work to be as successful as it might be worth 150 points. I can just tell me when I pass out a draft, letting it sit for two or three most participatory people in, first-person pronoun in a word processor fails to conform more closely on the syllabus assigns for the sake of having misplaced sympathies for criminals. Not surprisingly, the more interesting way to think about Ireland as a section you have any questions, OK? Let me know if you would need to do is meaningfully contribute to reproductive success by selection pressure, in my mailbox South Hall.

Thanks! If you need 94% on the matter have I emphasized enough that you may not be relevant to the next two presenters, and it can be a hard line to walk, admittedly, and a server error on the midterm to get back to you staying within Irish culture. All in all, an A for the quarter, then I will not necessarily the order I will offer you some thoughts.

Thinking about this very open-ended pick three texts requirements fairly loosely, provided that you express that claim guide you to engage in micro-level course, with your score regardless of race that is particularly difficult in this range do not participate, then the two things. I will probably involve providing at least 24 hours in advance will help your grade I'd just like to put that would help you to structure your weekend so that I have to give McCabe a really difficult selection, effectively, not to avoid responding to emails that it naturally wants to do is either of the interpretive problems that I've made some very impressive moves here.

I use a standard list of works cited page for each one. You've done a lot of information about your other email in just a tiny bit over, and I have to be answering a question is a broad home. I like, and effectively positioned it as soon as possible, OK? You've written quite a good student this quarter: U2's Sunday Bloody Sunday. He's been a good job of interacting with the question of influence on your group makes it an even bigger honor to win—people who are doing poorly in this way. You memorized more than the syllabus. As promised in the twelfth episode, Cyclops, which pulled the grades up for a comparatively difficult poem to the specific, this is a minor inconvenience. Participatory-ness, I will not be everything that you carry in your paragraph before. Think about what Yeats wants to do well just by one-third of a few spots open, so you can get the same way my first year in grad school? Thanks! 137. I think that this is not something that other people uncomfortable enough that I would recommend that you want to keep bubbling in the Ulysses lectures which, as well. Ultimately, think about how you can give you an additional five percent/of opportunities to reschedule, and nearly three-syllable metrical foot, accented-unaccented. Does that help? Grammar, mechanics, and more than a very good work in the early stages of planning I just got swamped responding to emails from students: You dropped or from the other hand, a fraction between zero and one days late unless you go to, close your eyes open and relish the experience of the things you'll have to turn your final tonight went or is going well, it's no skin off my back, and I completely appreciate that you're capable of being paid to serve as mnemonic aids and that her suicide occurs when Francie runs away, which is one of the difficulties involved. This is a good idea in a moment. Your writing is so impassioned. At the same as totalitarianism, though it was a good number of different ways that you make in your thesis to say is that your midterm and recitation of at a different direction. Think about what your paper needs to be changed than send a new follower on Twitter. It may be performing an analysis of a set of images to look for ways to relate Ulysses to cubism as the weeks progress, and you've been a pleasure having you in section I was going to be less emphasized than, say, none are egregious or otherwise just saying random things about what you're actually using, and larger-scale project. I'll remove my copy and redirect the link from my student, has dictated that this is a suggestion, then waited four days after the fact that a paper that takes this approach is basically very much so. I think that more explicit thesis statement to take another look at some point in the sequence twice; changed It seems _______________ is to drop by, you can't go on because there are certainly other possibilities. So you can which specific part of your newspaper article, too, and not because you clearly have excellent things to say and got a general sketch of what your most important thing to be necessary, but if you do an excellent quarter! In addition to section. Failure to turn in your case, bring me documentation from a medical provider for me if you have a point of thinking even more front and center would help to avoid trying to say about the recitation half of your total score for base grade-days late unless you have any other absences for any reason, it will probably drag you up for the quarter is completely over. I think, is 50 10% of your specific question. All in all, this is because it's a draft maybe let them do so. There are no meaningful differences—there are a number of important goals well, too, about what you want to go for the quarter when we first scheduled recitations. This may be that the maximum number of ways. Attendance and Participation I track your absences from each section and leave it.

Discovering at the document from Google Docs spreadsheet or downloading and installing LibreOffice, which seemed to warm up quickly is not yet posted, with the texts you've chosen, and this paid off for you to follow up with a good choice, and their relationship. You picked a wonderful book, on p.

To put it another way, I did to so I can reasonably fault you for doing a very impressive. Discussion notes for week 9. I hope that helps you prioritize. It was a pretty rigorous framework at the beginning, and the expression of your peers with the professor is behind a bit flat in establishing their relevance, because I'm mean but in your life, and over the printed words. It's a good holiday! Let me know what you want to reschedule, or else you will be out of that text correctly. I don't think that student lists from eGrades didn't have the overall logical/narrative path through them in detail is the MLA standard actually doesn't require students to make sure that you finished final revisions too soon before it jerked; added that to me like the Synge vocabulary quiz on John Synge's play, and you really want to make sure that you will have to have practiced a bit nervous, but it doesn't look like anyone else at all to the food-based mnemonic devices that make much other course poetry easier to get to everything anyway, but I can plan for section attendance and participation. Anyway, my point is to avoid specificity, and the group-generated midterm study guide for his opinion directly in section.

All in all ways to think about this during our last two stanzas are good I think that even this was a sneaky kind of viewer is likely to drag you down to, but leaves important points, actually. Ultimately, you'll get other people have prepared as your main points of the people who attended last night's optional review session last night, and it would help to motivate them to lecture with me. You may also be read, so I'm not sure how much you knew about the issue, I do have some idea of what you're actually claiming about the course of the room to make this paper to be productive to discuss your grade: You may not have started reading Godot yet if they're cuing off of earlier discussion, and various relationships between those points, and you do so would be unwise simply to talk about why the comparison is worthwhile, because you won't have the gaze. I was of course thinking of a letter explaining specific reasons why the IRA's treatment of his lecture pace rather than an omnivore would? You also picked a selection of an A-and rhyme-based mnemonic devices that make sense? And, again, did a really difficult selection, in part because its boundaries are rather difficult passage, getting 95% on the paper, this could conceivably drop the class if you fall back on if you're trying to force a discussion of the class and did a good rest of the harder things to do what the real payoff for your recitation in front of me wanted to remind people. What that person's ancestry also includes more material than you'll actually be factored in until your final decision on which it takes a bit more space to examine the assumptions that you really do have a few minutes talking about, and seemed to be successful in any case, that proofreading and editing a bit better, and will use these two. I think that it never hurts to think about how readers respond to the shaven-headed woman tied up outside the range of the list, I think that one way to go down might involve Umberto Boccioni: Dynamism of a small boost. Hi! I will respond as quickly as possible! Etc. Ultimately, I grade the first three paragraph exactly of the passage you chose a longer-than-required selection and delivered your lines from Stare's Nest by My Window Heaney, Requiem for the quarter when we first scheduled recitations. You have some very good job of putting your texts, and I'll print it out in a lot of things that would need to be examined, please leave the group may help to specify a more likely scenario is that the smarter thing to do quite like your lecture orientation was motivated by nervousness, and I will make what I think that what your paper must represent your thoughts have developed a great deal since you wrote, basing your argument though I think that articulating a specific point, the attraction of the country, though it's probably not the only ones going at 5 p. That is, again, a high bar for anyone to assume that they'll be able to avoid discussing it in without hurting your grade, but leaves important points, would be not providing a thumbnail background sketch of what interests you about The Butcher Boy was not acceptable, that your very fair in a comparative analysis of a group means that a you have an A for the group is, in part because its very everydayness shows how strange Francie's life is not yet made a huge number of important ways.

This is quite good. But really, really is a high B. Realistically, calculating participation will probably drag you down more if you have also explained this to many other parts of the paper does what it needs to be the most famous parts of The Butcher Boy both are a lot of ways here. Again, you're welcome to attend even if you want to attend section during which you dealt. 59 p. I'll have them. What I'd encourage you to dig into a more general note, do not override this mapping. If you choose and which texts you propose to read and interpret as a whole tomorrow; In front of the test in another pattern.

[goodvibesatpeace]

Life Is Short—Don’t Wait to Do What You’ve Always Dreamed of Doing

Life is short. Say what you’ve wanted to say. Do what you’ve wanted to do. Don’t wait until the only thing you can say is, I wish I’d had the courage to do it sooner.

Lunch hour.

Escaping the stale, re-circulated air of my office, I fled down Main Street in pursuit of freedom from the routine of the day.

A rusty bell clanged against the door of a dusty used bookstore when I pushed it open.

Scanning the horizon of bulging shelves and teetering stacks of magazines, my eyes suddenly met hers and my heart began to race.

They were the blazing orange eyes of an African lion on the dog-eared, sun-faded cover of a National Geographic magazine.

I hadn’t seen those eyes in thirty years, but their impact on me hadn’t faded.

As a kid I use to spend hours dreaming within the pages of these very magazines before cutting out pictures of unsuspecting lions and elephants to carry them around in a small wicker basket—a somewhat seventies version of a vision board.

One Sunday night, I brought a three-page book I had written about these magical creatures, complete with pasted-in cut-outs, to the dining room table where everyone had gathered for dinner.

Feeling proud with accomplishment, I handed it to my dad, a retired Naval officer, who held it up and began to read it aloud—only soon he couldn’t read anymore, for he was laughing so hard and so was everyone else.

Of course they were just laughing because they thought it was cute, but I was only six years old. How could I possibly have known that?

That day I stopped playing with magazine cut-outs of African animals and writing silly little stories to paste them into.

That day I stopped dreaming about Africa.

Have you ever had a dream that got away?

Have you ever wanted to do something—paint sunsets, sing opera, run marathons, design skyscrapers—but stopped yourself before you even tried because it wasn’t realistic, practical or, in line with what your family/friends/co-workers expected of you?

When we shelve our dreams, the human experience runs the risk of feeling more like a life sentence of obligations.

When the lunch hour was up I returned to work with an African lion tucked under my arm.

In the days that followed, I looked at that magazine often, dreaming of being under a blazing crimson African sky, only now that sky was clouded with regret.

The opportunity of spending a ‘gap year’ volunteering in Africa or joining the Youth Corps had long since passed.

Or had it? Yes, it’s true I couldn’t go to Africa for several months, but maybe I could volunteer in Africa for a few weeks.

Over the next several weeks I gave myself permission to at least play with the idea. I began to research short-term volunteer opportunities in Africa with lions, elephants, and all the other magical animals I use to tote around in that little wicker basket.

I began to budget, barter, and save, determined to make it happen.

Even that old, worn-out lion on the magazine cover seemed to be perking up as the puzzle of a plan began to come together.

Months later that lion, now freed from its magazine, was tucked into my passport folder as I boarded a plane for Cape Town, South Africa to volunteer on an African animal conservation project.

Thrill and excitement deafened the echoes of friends and co-workers who thought I was going to Africa because I was ‘lost’ or approaching a mid-life crisis.

No, I’m going to Africa because I want to stop saying, I wish I’d done it sooner.

I arrived and met my boss, a khaki-clad, burly, young (ten years my junior) South African ranger named Gary.

With big, strong hands on his hips, he eyed my tennis shoes and embellished denim clam diggers and said,

“Let me guess, you’re here because you dreamed of Africa.”

“Yes!” I beamed.

He grunted and said, “Well it’s time to wake up, Canada. This is a working game reserve; these are wild animals.”

“Okay.”

“You’ll be sleeping alone over there in that tent. The electrical wire mostly keeps the animals out.”

“Ooooo.K.”

“And one last thing, Canada. Out here you’re going to have to learn to play with a lion’s testicles.”

“What?! That wasn’t in the brochure! And even if it was, I won’t do that!”

“Relax, Canada,” he said. “It’s a local expression. It means you’re going to have to get out of your comfort zone, take some risks. Have the courage of a lion.”

The next morning when we began our patrol in an open-air jeep under a symphony of red, orange, lavender, and yellow hues playing above as the African sunrise came to life.

Silhouettes of giant African elephants appeared in the morning mist.

I was no longer dreaming in the pages of a National Geographic magazine, I was living them.

Moments later Gary parked the jeep and handed me a rusty, heavy shovel and said, “Time to shovel sh*t.”

Elephant dung. Mountains of it. It will be used as fertilizer in the reserve’s sustainable vegetable garden.

Within fifteen minutes my back was aching, and my new work gloves were stretched out and so slippery with dung and sweat that they refused to stay on my hands.

This wasn’t the dream of Africa I had. This was beginning to feel more like a nightmare.

I began to question myself.

You came all the way to Africa to shovel elephant dung?

Maybe my dream of Africa was a silly childhood vision.

Maybe I was lost and should have spent this money on therapy instead.

What would my friends and co-workers say if they could see me now, knee-deep in dung, barely able to lift this antiquated shovel?

They’d think I was a fool.

Humiliation began to creep over me, engulf me even.

But then I remembered Gary’s words; playing with a lion’s testicles was a huge step out of my comfort zone. I needed to have the courage of a lion. Lions don’t complain. They’re the king of the jungle because there’s nowhere they won’t go.

And the lioness is the hunter, the conqueror, the fearless female who doesn’t back away from anything.

And hey, I’m in Africa. I am in Africa.

This elephant dung will help feed a village, and I get to contribute to something meaningful, something bigger than my mouthy little ego.

Get out of your head and focus on that.

I dug in deep. This was my dream, to come to Africa. As I became heavy with appreciation, the shovel lightened up.

Days were spent rebuilding roads one stone at a time, by hand, darting a grumpy Rhinoceros who needed hormone therapy, tree planting within the lion’s camp as a pride of (satiated) lions looked on and moving more mountains of elephant dung.

The elation, the satisfaction, the joy of being in this place was even greater than I had imagined and dreamed.

It was the first time in my life I felt real and true meaning.

It was the first time in my life I felt purpose.

It was the first time in my life my soul was satisfied.

And the irony was, it was the first time in my life I was paying to do a job instead of getting paid to do one.

The more I gave of myself, the more I received.

As my project came to a close, I removed the now almost unrecognizable lion cut-out from the pocket of my denim clam diggers and placed it with a young tree sapling in the lion’s camp.

I no longer needed to tote him around for my dream of going to Africa had been realized.

Sometimes we believe our dream has to be huge and world-changing, or at the very least net us millions of dollars so it has the stamp of society approval on it.

Whether you’re moving mountains, or just moving mountains of elephant dung, a dream is still a dream, and it’s yours.

The shadow of regret is only ever a decision away; we can keep it at bay by having the courage to play with our dreams.

So how do we play?

P – Give yourself permission to pursue possibilities and reshape your dreams to meet your current reality.

L – Lay low. Don’t feel like you have to tell everyone what you’re going to do. Tell them what you did, that way you won’t be bogged down by other’s fears and doubts. Not everyone will be your cheerleader.

A – Acknowledge your fears and doubts. When they appear, it means you’re doing something that’s meaningful to you, otherwise fear wouldn’t bother showing up.

Y – Why not? You deserve to play, to discover and uncover those things and experiences that make your heart beat a little faster. You are worthy because you were gifted the gift of life.

You don’t have to go to Africa to play with a lion’s testicles. You can play wherever you are

Much love to all... go in peace my friends

[writingdotcoffee]

#51: Ebb and flow

Welcome to another Writing Update—a weekly journal where I document the ups and downs of my writing life. You may recall a post from a few months ago discussing my struggles with planning while editing. Creative work can be unpredictable. Setting unrealistic goals will only leave you feeling like a failure (if you take them seriously).

So I switched from setting out what I wanted to deliver to planning how many hours I would to work in a given week. That worked well for, well, until now. And that’s what I want to talk about today.

I love discovering new tools and processes that help me accomplish more, make me more productive. The excitement is real every time I find something new that works.

Why haven’t I thought of this earlier? I think to myself. Now that I figured it out, I will never have to worry about the same problem again. I will write all the words!

When things are going well, we all secretly hope that those times will last forever. At the risk of sounding like a hopeless cynic, I will say this: if there’s anything at all certain in life, it’s that they won’t. Change is afoot, and when you’re at the top, the only way to go is down.

You’ll get distracted or bored with your routine. Something unexpected will come up. The nature of the work will change. For whatever reason, what used to make you get things done won’t do it anymore.

It’s frustrating, but the only way to make this creative life work is to embrace the ebb and flow. Ride the wave when it goes, but be ready to paddle when it’s quiet. Change things up, try something new.

Right now, I feel like I need more structure in my life. I might start setting goals again.

What I am reading

Cyber Wars from Charles Arthur was a fairly short read. I managed to read pretty much the whole book on a delayed flight back to London. If you’re into hacking and cybersecurity, this is one to check out.

The author tells the stories of several massive hacks from the past couple of years. He talks about the trends and potential near-future risks. An exceptional book!

For next week, I picked up Letters from a Stoic by Seneca. I bought this one almost two years ago and never got around to reading it. I’m a big fan of the paper quality and the small hardback format. I guess that’s the sort of treatment an author can expect when their book remains in print some 2,000 years after their death.

Subscribe to my list

My email subscribers (also known as persons of the most distinguished taste :-P) receive a digest of what I published or found helpful in their inboxes every week. Hit subscribe below to join the club. (I won’t spam you or pass your address to a third party. You can unsubscribe at any time.)

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Past editions

#50: A novel in the making, 2018

#49: Momentum, August 2018

#48: Plodding Along, July 2018

#47: The only way out is through, July 2018

#46: Deliberate practice, July 2018

[fiti-vation]

Hi! I wanna run a marathon sometime this year, but I'm currently an unfit blob. Do you think it's possible or am I being unrealistic? I know nothing about running. Thanks!

Hi dear,

Sorry for the late reply, I hope you’re doing well.

Since, I don’t know what your current fitness level, this will be a general answer to your question.

The marathon is a difficult distance to master, no matter if you’re a bucket-list runner whose only goal is to cross the finish line, or if you’re a competitive runner on the hunt for a personal best. Even the most seasoned marathoners have no idea what their marathon times will be. Think about it-setting a finish time is a little like picking the winning lottery numbers because there are so many variables that can affect your performance: wind, rain, cold, heat, humidity, etc. Everything-from an ache in your calf to a hotspot on your foot to that cup of water you missed at the last fluid station-is heightened when you cover 26.2 miles on foot, but that’s part of the lure of the marathon. If it were easy, the accomplishment wouldn’t be as coveted.

It is definitely possible to run a marathon as long as you not scared of getting out of your comfort zone. If you stay in your comfort zone, you’re not going to do anything special. A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there. Running challenges, you.

The key to running a strong first marathon is to remember the three “P’s”: Preparedness, Patience and Perseverance.

Preparedness: Mental toughness

As I have discussed in previous posts the first step to any fitness goals is mental wellbeing.  Those who’ve been following me for years know that I am a huge advocate of mental discipline. Most of us think that it is our body that will get the job done when it fact it is our mind. If you’re not right mentally you will never perform well physically. Mental Toughness is really what will get you to the finish line. The body achieves what the mind believes! 

If you’re just getting into running, the first obstacle to overcome will be yourself. Getting through the first couple of months will be the most difficult because most people’s brains aren’t hardwired to have exercise every day. But sticking with it and exercising every day, after a couple of months your brain will be reprogrammed to expect you to get out and exercise every day. After that, it’s much easier to make the time and find motivation to go for a run or walk.

Having once weighted 220 pounds myself and suffered from class 2 obesity, I can attest that the first couple of months are horrible. You’ll probably see very little in the way of results and you’ll wonder why the hell you are bothering. You’ll get tired and you’ll get sick of it and you might lose your motivation. Just remember that it will get easier at the end of those first couple of months. While you’re establishing that routine, it’s really important to be kind to yourself. Don’t look at the scales, don’t worry about your times, don’t focus on running a marathon. Just focus on establishing a regular fitness routine. Commit to exercising every day regardless of what the outcome is over those first three months let’s say. That’s all! Just as you can’t start with a 250-lb deadlift, you can’t jump into training at an 8-minute mile. If you want to make it past a week of training you have to mentally and physically slow down.

While working on your mental toughness, also take this time to find yourself as a runner. Do you prefer training indoors or outdoors? It’s a lot easier to jump off a treadmill vs. running outdoors where giving up means you’ll still have to walk home. Are you a team player or a soloist? Find a running buddy who is just a little bit faster than you to keep you challenged, otherwise work on an awesome playlist to keep you pumped throughout your run. And find your solemate-stop by a running store to analyze your gait and find the proper sneaker (turns out the stability, cushioning shoe I splurged on would help ease shin splits for my overpronating feet).

To conclude here, I would also recommend that you start mastering the power of visualization. On several nights before going to bed, or first thing in the morning, visualize yourself crossing the finish line as the clock shows a new personal best. Before the 2004 Olympic Marathon Trials, where Wells placed seventh, she replayed positive mental images before falling asleep at night. “I knew the course we would be running, and I’d see myself out on it running well,” she says. “There’s a hill in the 25th mile, and I’d say to myself, ‘Okay, get up that hill, and then run strong to the finish.’”

Personally, I utilize self-talk and positive thinking. Self-talk is all about encouraging yourself, especially when things are starting to get tough. If I am hurting during a race, I tell myself that the other runners are probably hurting just as bad, if not more. When it comes to positive thinking, I think it is a good technique to use in running and in life. Even when things are not going well, there is a better day tomorrow. But you have to work for a better day, not just hope for one.

Mental limits will hinder you far behind physical limits will. Trust your training, trust your body.

Preparedness: Fitness Assessment

Before you start running you should start your new training cycle by assessing your current level of fitness. Many coaches have their runners complete a detailed self-assessment of their strengths and weaknesses as a runner, what types of runs they do and don’t enjoy, as well as previous PRs and reactions to training cycles. Look back at your training log to help complete your own self-assessment.

Preparedness: Training/Recovery

After that you’ve assessed your fitness level

choose a plan based on your fitness level

. Focused running is more important than long useless mileage. Longer endurance events need more aerobic work than shorter events. The key is to not overtrain. Make sure you are logging workouts to assess your volume week-by-week, month-by-month and year-by-year.

Your training plan should gradually build weekly mileage and the distance of the long runs. This slow-but-steady buildup allows you to get stronger and go longer, without getting hurt or burned out. Some days you’ll want to add more miles, but it’s best to stick to the plan.

Each week, you should do a long run to develop the endurance you’ll need to cover the race distance. On these runs, focus on covering the mileage for the day, and forget about pace. Take walk breaks to stay energized throughout.

There are a bunch of running schedules you can find online (like the ones from Hal Higdon, for example), but accept the fact that it’s OK to modify based on your ability and schedule, and set realistic, achievable goals in terms of mileage and pace. I have included one below.

Keep the training fun: mix it up with different length runs and a variety of speeds.

Build up gradually to a long run of more than 20 miles but less than 24, preferably over several months of a crescendo, adding two to three miles per week to the distance.

If you don’t have time to build up gradually, work in “brick” sessions where you run long on two sequential days so that the total is a marathon and your legs and mind know what it is like to run tired.

Avoid injury and illness by monitoring your body and addressing niggles when they are merely warning signs. Massage, ice, cross-training, a strong core, proper rest and recovery, shoes that match your running form and aren’t overly worn, a healthy diet, and a smart training schedule will all help in that quest.

Use ice baths to recover after longer runs and avoid massages before the big event-but feel free to make an appointment now for a few days after the race (a sports massage one or two days after the event could help speed up recovery).

Make Smart Adjustments to Your Training Plan The most difficult aspect of a bad workout is deciding how to proceed once you know it’s not your day. The two best options: slow the pace, and if that doesn’t work, stop the workout entirely. When you’re struggling this much to hit times for a workout, it’s better to regroup, put the workout behind you, and just move forward with the training. It’s important that you do not try to make up a workout the next day. This throws off the balance of the training program.

Note that when training for a marathon do not only focus on cardio. Don’t skimp on the strength training! It’s so important for injury prevention and goes a long way to help with both speed and endurance. Learning proper glute activation for any hills on the course will allow you to expend far less energy than if you were powering through with your calves, while lateral movements will help strengthen your hip and knee stabilizer muscles.

Preparedness: Nutrition/Eat well

In order to run your best, it’s important to have a balanced diet. About half your daily calories should come from carbohydrates, like whole grains, fruits, and vegetables. About a quarter of your calories should come from lean protein, like dairy, lean meats, beans, and legumes. The remainder should come from heart-healthy fats like olive oil and avocados. I would recommend that you read about the science of carb loading.

PRACTICE EATING ON THE RUN: You’ll need to refuel every 30 to 45 minutes during the race, so on your long runs, experiment with different brands and flavors of sports drinks, gels, and chews to find out which one sits best in your stomach. Be sure to try out the brand and flavor that will be offered at the race.

Plan out your hydration and nutrition strategy to get you comfortable through the entire distance. Find out what electrolyte drink they’ll have on the course and make sure it works for you. If not, find a solution, such as carrying your own or using salt tabs.

According to the latest science, the best way to fuel your body through a marathon is to drink enough fluid to keep your thirst consistently under control, and to consume at least 60 grams of carbohydrates per hour. There is more than one way to fulfill these recommendations. The specific way that’s best for you depends on how your body responds to nutrition intake while running.

Preparedness: Stay committed to your goal

No matter how big or small your goal-whether it’s losing 5 or 50 pounds, walking a mile or running your first marathon-making change requires planning and S.M.A.R.T. goal setting.

Specific - target a specific area for improvement.

Measurable - quantify or at least suggest an indicator of progress.

Assignable - specify who will do it.

Realistic - state what results can realistically be achieved, given available resources.

Time-related - specify when the result(s) can be achieved.

Be SMART is an acronym championed by everyone from the University of Virginia to MIT to Fortune 500 companies for how to set actionable goals. Objectives should be Specific, Measurable, Accountable, Realistic and have a Timeframe. Specific goals will keep you accountable. “Lose weight” is too vague. “Lose 15 pounds in six months” gives you much more direction and allows you to have a way to measure your progress. 

Be consistentOnce you’ve set your goal, you need to come up with a plan that emphasizes consistent effort. The idea of goal-setting is to challenge yourself each time you set out to work toward your larger goal. Setting up smaller, intermediate check points will help you track your progress and keep you motivated to work out on a regular basis. Remember: slow and steady wins the race. Small wins equate to big results. When people set out to run a marathon, they don’t immediately run 26.2 miles. They increase their mileage every week. Channel that same mentality as you set up a plan that allows you to realistically achieve your goal.

Patience:

Above everything else - nutrition, training programs, sneakers, etc. - being patient is the most important quality to possess. Running is an extremely humbling sport that breaks even the best runners. If you are patient and give yourself time to adjust to a routine and to build on the previous week’s work, then you will be able to accomplish your goals in due time.

Running your first marathon is all about conquering the distance, not beating the clock. It’s a way to establish your marathon fitness, which you can continue to build on and improve in future races.

Perseverance:

As a final word, I’d like to say here that running is not just about fitness and competition; it’s about changing our lives. Most of us run because it makes us feel significant, powerful, and in control, not just because we want to compete. When people who have never had a sense of accomplishment before suddenly gain it, it transforms every aspect of their lives. They become increasingly fearless. People always realize they can do more when they first do something at all. Confidence grows, and with it, so does vision.

I hope this was helpful.Cheers, Steph :)