#well the other one is just the girlies looking at drawings of anime men kissing

[evilandcrazygirl]

fujoshis officially an oppressed class there’s even a slur now

[goblin-the-clown]

Here's some step by step instructions on how to not make your MLM OC's look like a yaoi manga written by a straight woman!!

(Quick disclaimer, I'm not a man nor am I attracted to men, this is purely just for fun and to give advice on how to design male characters better with my experience as an artist. None of this is mandatory, it's just my own opinion and it's not a strict guide. Please enjoy! This post might be a long one.)

1. They don't have to look like they've never seen the sun.

Don't be afraid of interracial relationships, it's really not that hard to draw a black person. You'll find that they do in fact exist everywhere no matter where your story is set. This applies for all races.

2. They don't have to be the skinniest men you will ever see.

This one's very very common. I understand finding it hard to draw different body types but just practice and I swear you'll get better. Mix it up a bit, they can't all be twinks.

3. Give them interesting and different hairstyles.

As someone who loves drawing and designing hair, if I see another anime boy with THIS fucking hairstyle I will eat a gun.

Just any variation of this hair, short messy hair (especially if it's brown) is boring. Other hairstyles exist, don't give them both this hair just in different colours.

4. Body/facial hair is not the end of the world.

Everybody has body hair (yes, even women, shocking ik). Nobody's going to attack you if you draw a man with armpit hair kissing another man. Same thing with facial hair, most men do actually grow it so even if it's not a lot it's ok to give them some.

5. They don't actually have to both be men.

A gay relationship is when someone who doesn't identify as a woman is in a relationship with another person who doesn't identify as a woman. There's an infinite amount of genders out there that don't fall under "woman" so include them in your writing, don't be shy.

6. Taste in fashion?

Even if they're in school uniform you can make their style clear through accessories. Give them cool outfits please I'm begging youuu. If they don't have interesting hair give them interesting clothes and make their styles distinct.

7. Stop making one of them look like a child and the other a thirty year old man!!

Please tell me I'm not the only one who keeps seeing this trope everywhere, it's extremely annoying. If they're teenagers make them look like teenagers, if they're adults make them look like adults. Stop.

8. They can be older, men do age.

Actually I don't know if this one needs to be said as middle aged man yaoi seems to be quite popular on here but still. There are gay old men out there, but it's usually more fun to write about young people so I do understand.

9. Stop treating your female characters like shit.

This really has nothing to do with designing but I feel like it needs to be said. If your story revolves around a MLM relationship, don't have the female characters be jealous, straight, bitchy fujoshi's. In fact, make the girly's queer as well, please. I promise you most women are not jealous of gay men in happy relationships.

10. Don't sexualise teenagers.

If your story is set in a school, stop and think before you draw something weird. Also nothing to do with designing but it's weird.

THANKS!!!

[megalodon-writes]

Matchups?!?! Schyooom here I come looking for a man 👁👁 (mha or hq is fine, you pick). I’m 5’1”, with straight dark hair down to my waist, and hazel green eyes. I’m an Aries/ENFP. I’m bubbly, friendly, and have a good sense of humor. My aesthetic is everything pink & girly 💖 I’m a clumsy DISASTER and not very athletic, but I love watching/going to sporting events! I always excelled in school— now I’m a healthcare worker 🩺 I can be super hard on myself and tend to be a perfectionist (1/2 💕)

I enjoy drawing, watching anime, eating, margaritas, and sunny days. I’m a hopeless romantic and a sucker for good looking boys. I don’t have a particular type, but I like guys who are driven, hard working, & loyal 🥰 bonus points for a lil height difference lololol size kink come thru. Thank you so much Meg bby take your time no rush or just ignore this aha okay ily bye (2/2 💕)

NESS legit I wish I could express how much love I have for you. when I saw you sent this in I was so excited I couldn’t breathe i would never ignore you hello?. Also ???? You’re shorter than me???? I feel like Hinata when he met Noya. what if I pick both especially since you take my thirsty asks anyways I love you pls accept these matchups bc I spent a lot of time with them to hopefully make you smile so yee~ 

I match you with Ejiro Kirishima!

You guys would be such a great couple that Bakugo can barely stand to be around how cute you two are

Though, he loves that Kiri absolutely adores you 

He’s not that much taller than you, but he still loves hugging you from behind and nuzzling his face into your neck probably to kiss it a couple times too

He’s very much into PDA - but not like the gross stuff, but things like holding your hand, cuddling you, throwing an arm around your shoulders… he basically will keep at least one hand/limb on you constantly - he strikes me as a very physical person

Especially when you’re alone. He loves being the little spoon because he likes to be held... it kind of feels like a breath of fresh air to him, you know? saving people can be really hard sometimes

Since you’re so great with school, you and Bakugo have study sessions together, though usually Baku just goes ‘tch. I’m leaving’ when Kiri starts to get all heart eyes towards you

This boy absolutely is head over heels in love with you. He often gets this far away look when he’s not around you and both Kaminari and Mina tease him about it

He gives you the most cheesy, romantic, goofy poems and love quotes ever 

He definitely drink him dam respek woman jooce

His favorite date the two of you ever had was when the power went out and you had a little picnic in the living room by candlelight. He loved the way your features glowed in the soft light. Honestly? That was the day he knew he was in it for the long haul

Once he becomes a pro hero, you being the number one stan you are, you buy a lot of his merch and wear it around to support him he really likes it

He likes to think he’s an artsy person so he suggests drawing competitions all the time… though obviously yours wins because his turns into a smudgy stick man

Wow he’s good at kissing… the first time was a bit awkward, but you two fit so perfectly together that it makes your knees weak

You work in healthcare? Imagine taking care of him after he gets hurt during a mission. Does he fake his hurt sometimes? Maybe. Do you still ‘help’ him? Absolutely.

Honestly, this guy thinks you’re his entire world and he’s not afraid to show you off

BONUS: You and Mina vibe so well together… like seriously… girly, pink, bubbly???

EXTRA BONUS: The man would be such a supportive s/o that he would legit wear a tutu and thigh high boots if you asked him to

I match you with Tobio Kageyama!

Okay, pretty opposite personalities but I love the look - like HELLO he’s almost a foot taller than you

The day he’s old enough to drink alcohol you convince him to have a margarita and he’s like ‘WHOA’ boom favorite drink right there

Also he loves sunny days, though he would never ever admit it especially to Hinata bc sunshine boy because he doesn’t like showing his soft side to people

Though, I like to think that the second he met you he wouldn’t stop talking and he was so confused???

This boy is so hardworking that sometimes you wish he would chill out and just relax on the couch with you

But!!!! He really loves manga and anime, so all you have to do is bribe him with that and cuddles and he’s THERE

Speaking of cuddles… the man is touch starved okay. Though, he very much dislikes public displays of affection. When you’re around anyone else, he’ll barely hold your hand. But when you’re alone boy are his hands all over you

You like that though, especially because it feels like a more intimate and personal relationship

He really likes to laugh at your jokes - I promise you’ve gotten him laughing so hard that he couldn’t breathe for a solid 30 minutes. 

THE INSIDE JOKES - you try to get him to laugh around the boys because no one believes that he actually does a lot but you haven’t ever been able to… except...

Once you were with the Karasuno team and he looks you straight in the eyes and goes ‘no he he i don’t want to pee pee’ and everyone freaking LOSES IT, including Kags

He’s so awkward omfg

The first time he tried to kiss you he missed and was so annoyed with himself he sat there for 10 minutes blushing like mad - though, after you kissed him he felt a lot better still red as a tomato though

He doesn’t really know how to …. Deal with the girly… but he loves you for who you are and actually has a pink shirt to match you occasionally

You both can get pretty hard on yourselves, so you have this thing where anytime someone starts doing that you hold each others pinkys and have to compliment yourself while staring each other in the eyes…. It was some dumb thing Suga suggested, but it seems to work

BONUS: He thinks it’s ADORABLE that you’re such a disaster omg bc he is too let’s be honest

EXTRA BONUS: Hinata actually loves you so much and Kags gets even more annoyed by him if thats possible... but he has no idea why until you’ve been dating for several months and Tanaka teases him about being jealous

I match you with me!

Will love you unconditionally

A hoe for dumb jokes

Is not a boy but will still hug you real nice

honestly? 4/10 would recommend 

.... 5′5″ 👀

sadly is only into men but will still be better support than most

[miltonlicht]

Nakatani Nio & Canno

…So, I create a separate thread for this, as suggested by Nezchan.

Original interview http://blog.livedoor.jp/geek/archives/51522471.html (SITE NOT SAFE FOR WORK)

It was published at the time volume 2 of YagaKimi came out. I apologize for potential inaccuracies in the translation.

(Doc file )

−−−−−−−−−−−

Special conversation between "Yagate Kimi ni Naru"'s Nakatani Nio and "Ano Ko ni Kiss to Shirayuri wo"'s Canno.

From the origin of their fixation on yuri to their work ethics, to the works in which they "felt the presence of yuri", the two authors who carry the yuri genre on their shoulders openly talked with us.

−−Today we're having a conversation in which you two can't not participate, so I thank you both for coming while you're so busy. Is this the first time you actually meet?

Nakatani Nio: Since we met a few days ago at Yuri-ten in Ikebukuro, this is actually our second meeting.

Canno: Since Nakatani-san's manga has a very cool craft to it, I expected her to be equally cool. And when we met, well, she was, but she was also a very kind and lovely woman.

NN: Really? What's this all about! (laugh) I actually always bought Canno-san's doujinshis at doujin displays, so of course I've known about her for a while now.

Ca: Same for me, I've been reading Nakatani-san's doujins since before "Yagate Kimi ni Naru" started. I didn't know very well the exact genre of her works, but Melonbooks had a special page attached saying "It's an awesome manga!", so I bought them regardless.

−−So you knew who the other was before you were serialized. What started your interest in Yuri, Canno-san?

Ca: I guess the trigger was reading "Maria-sama ga miteru" (Shūeisha) in high school. I didn't really care much about the genre at first, but after reading it I became hooked on it.

NN: That's the most notorious entry point! What couple did you like the most?

Ca: My favorite character is Yoshino from "Yellow Rose", and I ship her with Rei-chan. Did you read MariMite, Nakatani-san?

NN: Since it's a sort of landmark for Yuri, I read volume 1 for my culture, and I liked it, but I don't have much time to read novels, so I haven't read the rest. For now I'm only reading one small bit at a time.

Ca: Please be sure to read at least to "Rainy Blue".

NN: I don't quite get that "stop at Rainy" phrase that Yuri fans always use...

Ca: Well, don't worry about that, buy them until Rainy Blue.

NN: Alright, I'll read it.

Ca: Have you enjoyed a particular Yuri series lately?

NN: In my last interview, when I said I like "Hibike! Euphonium" (novel by Takarajimasha, anime by Kyōto Animation), I was retorted that it wasn't Yuri. But there were scenes where I did feel a Yuri vibe, so it was fine by me. Of course, Euphonium as a whole can't really be called a Yuri, but to me it counts as long as I can feel it in some parts.

Ca: Yeah, I'm that way too. Take "Precure" (Tōei Animation): I watch it as a goldmine of yuri, and in my favorite series, Doki Doki, there's that girl called Hishikawa Rikka...

NN: Oh yeah, Hishikawa!

Ca: She's the main character Aida Mana's partner, but as Mana builds relationships with other characters, Rikka gets jealous and uneasy. If you watch this as a grade schooler, you can think that it's natural to feel this way towards a friend, but when you watch it as an adult, you totally feel the Yuri!

NN: Ahaha! So you have more fun seeing Yuri in mainstream works than reading actual yuri?

Ca: I feel it has become this way, lately, yes. Before, I read only Yuri-hime Comics and such, works that I fully knew were Yuri, but these times I've started to look for Yuri in works that aren't generally lauded as such.

NN: Did it start when you started to draw "AnoKiss"?

Ca: Hmm, I wonder? Lately I enjoy feeling the Yuri in stuff like the yonkoma in "Kirara" (Houbunsha), but I think I also got tired with overly serious and dark works as I grew older. So more than "AnoKiss", it may just be that I'm getting old (laugh).

NN: Since I've started drawing Yuri manga, I've become more conscious of other Yuri works, but what about you, Canno-san? Has drawing AnoKiss made your Yuri antenna more sensitive?

Ca: Not that much, I would say. Even before my love for Yuri awakened, I liked same-sex romance in general, so outside of that and seeing Yuri in girly anime, my sensitivity is still pretty much the same.

NN: I think I feel the same. So more than Yuri itself, what you really enjoy is shipping, right?

Ca: Yes, I love shipping. There are a lot of people who are both into BL and Yuri, aren't there. (?)

−−Then why do you write Yuri rather than BL?

Ca: I love drawing facial expressions, and if I have to draw very expressive faces, I have more fun with girls. And if I have two girls, that's twice the luck. (laugh) More than romantic love iself, I like ambiguous relationships that are close to love but might be something else. But if I write such relationships with a boy and a girl, everyone ends up naturally assuming that it's love. However, with two girls the feeling is a bit more balanced, I think. I guess it would be the same with two boys, but as I said I have more fun drawing girls, so… (laugh)

NN: It's true that in AnoKiss, the characters never use the words "love" or "romance". Is that deliberate on your part?

Ca: It's not exactly deliberate, but it's a natural result of that feeling, I guess. And you, Nakatani-san, what made you draw girl's love manga?

NN: I thought, "if a cute girl and a cute girl do cute stuff, it'll be hella cute."

Ca: So you're no different from me! (laugh)

NN: Your way of saying it was cooler, though. (laugh)

Ca: But in YagaKimi there's Maki-kun, who's a guy, right? Didn't you want to avoid featuring boys in a Yuri series?

NN: I didn't. In my interview for Dengeki Online, I said that "In a world where there are also men, I want girls to be chosen anyway." [sorry, I'm not quite sure what the original sentence means here > 「男性もいる世界観の中で、あえて女の子を選んだ形で描きたい」 ] But while there are girls that "fall in love specifically with girls", I think there are also girls "whose crush just happens to be a girl". I wanted to also show that side in the characters' personalities and specificities, and I didn't think I could really depict it if men were completely absent. What do you feel about the presence of male characters in YagaKimi's cast, Canno-san?

Ca: Since Maki-kun doesn't directly get involved in love affairs, I haven't really paid much attention to him, regardless of his gender. If he had made an obvious move on Nanami-senpai or Yuu-chan I would probably have thought "hey, he's a guy", but so far there's no indication he's going to approach them or any of the girls.

NN: I see, that's an original way to view it.

Ca: For now, I only think of Maki-kun as un uke, with Doujima-kun as the seme.

NN: Thank you very mu… wait, what? (laugh) In AnoKiss, however, there's not a trace of male presence.

Ca: Yes, right from the start I decided that there would't be any male characters.

NN: Writing the word "yuri" in the title feels like a sort of challenge. Didn't it take courage?

Ca: I thought that it might not reach the potential readers if I didn't say right away "this is Yuri". So I wanted to get that information across. Since the series was gonna focus on "yuri" and "kiss", the best-sounding title I found with those two words was "Ano Ko ni Kiss to Shirayuri wo". How did you decide on the title "Yagate Kimi ni Naru"?

NN: I did put a lot of meaning in the title, but even in the prototypes I chose ones that had a sort of Yuri aura to them. When volume 1 came out, I was very careful to appeal to Yuri lovers, with the cover (two girls gazing at each other) or the the band around the cover.

Ca: But that's not the case of the title.

NN: Indeed, but many yuri fans told me that "One Day, I Will Become You" sounds extremely Yuri. But some also say "I thought it was a story of substitution".

Ca: Like some kind of horror story. "I'll gradually take your place…" (laugh)

NN: Exactly. (laugh) In "AnoKiss", you have one kiss per chapter, huh.

Ca: Yes, my editor told me to include a kissing scene every time. And to create highlight scenes, in a Yuri manga the kissing scenes might be a selling point, they said. (laugh)

NN: I can get that. You think carefully about where the kiss will be, won't you?

Ca: I think the place where a kiss is given is significant, so I don't choose it at random. My editor even keeps an Excel file where they listed who kisses whom and where. Like, in volume 3, "kiss on the foot, indicating submission." (laugh)

NN: A kiss list, now that's interesting! Although, when you say "Excel", it kind of takes the magic away. (laugh)

Ca: But making a list of "character X gives a kiss there in chapter Y" means that by chapter 20 we've almost run out of body parts to kiss. (laugh)

NN: It's important to have some variety in the kisses, I guess. So far, my series has only had 2 kissing scenes, but I still have that voice telling me "this, here, is the highlight!", so I put all my effort onto that point. It's like a fighting game, where you wait for the exact moment when your special attack is sure to hit hard.

−−Nakatani-san, did you already know about AnoKiss when you started to draw YagaKimi?

NN: Well, if you draw yuri manga, AnoKiss has already become hard to ignore, so I read it intensely to help me for my own work. Even leaving that aside, my first impression when opening a volume was "Wow, the author is good!" (laugh)

Ca: No way! Thank you very much. (laugh)

NN: To me, seeing a yuri manga that wasn't shoujo-like was refreshing. Sure, it is love-themed, but in the tight lining and expressions, or in the panel layout, it feels closer to shounen. Since there are a lot of shounen aspects in my own way of drawing, I felt maybe we had some things in common in that regard.

Ca: I never read that many shounen manga growing up, and used to read almost only shoujo manga, but I do think my drawings aren't very shoujo-like, so you opinion confirms that.

NN: To me, that makes it easier to read, actually. So I'm glad there is a yuri series with this kind of style!

Ca: I found the art incredibly good too when I read YagaKimi's first chapter. Then Yuu-chan received a confession from a boy, I wondered how she would react, and what kind of yuri story it would evolve into, I was really excited. After reading the first volume, I was both supporting Nanami-senpai and sympathising with Yuu-chan, who couldn't understand what it was like to be in love. I actually think that if I was into Yuu-chan's shoes, I would be scared of Nanami-senpai. Even though you keep saying "I don't understand", she's constantly pushing in. So reading that and seeing Yuu-chan's acceptance of it, I find her incredibly kind-hearted.

NN: I see. (laugh)

Ca: And yet I'm like "Do your best, Nanami-senpai!", like I'm trying to fan the flames of yuri. (laugh) More specifically, I loved the entire chapter where Nanami-senpai went to Yuu-chan's place! But I guess that's how even a girl feels when she goes to the place of the girl she likes.

NN: I'm glad you say that. (laugh)

Ca: Also, I'm really intrigued by Saeki-senpai. When Nanami-senpai chose Yuu-chan for the election campaign, her friend started to worry that she didn't rely on her, and I love this kind of "complication". (laugh)

NN: Ah, so you do love complications! I actually love Towako from AnoKiss. (laugh) Personally, I sometimes feel I can't write a story without drama, but in a generally quiet and bright story like AnoKiss I was kind of surprised to see a girl like her, who brought problems. I find your way of drawing difficult emotions yet being very clear in the execution really enthralling. [難しい感情を描きつつ、爽やかに仕上げているのが魅力的だと感じます。]

Ca: For AnoKiss, I'm adamant on concluding a given arc within a single volume, or 5 chapters, so I can't create too much complications. So I found it difficult to write volume 3, where Towako appears, with a more dramatic appeal than usual. That's why I love girls in the position of Saeki-senpai… Err, but well, since I said I liked Hishikawa from Doki Doki Precure, I guess that wasn't much of a secret. (laugh)

NN: Indeed. (laugh)

Ca: So yes, I can't wait to see how Saeki-senpai is gonna interact with those two.

NN: I often hear that "Sayaka = Hishikawa", but Hishikawa is voiced by Kotobuki Minako-san, and in the recent PV for Yagate Kimi ni Naru, Kotobuki-san voices Nanami Touko.

Ca: Yes. That's why, when I saw that PV, I was like "It's Kotobuki-san, yaaay!" with a guts pose. (laugh)

−−How did you feel when you heard your characters talk?

NN: Their voices were as I imagined. I didn't picture those voices very clearly until now, but after hearing them in the PV, they are the voices I now hear in my head when working on my storyboards. AnoKiss had some Drama CD's released, what were your impressions?

Ca: From the start, there were characters who talked and others who didn't talk in my head. I was happy that the voices of those who talked inside me could now be heard by the readers. As for those who didn't talk, it felt refreshing, like "so that's what their voices sounded like". I had always imagined Kurosawa Yurine with the voice of Mizuhashi Kaori, so I thought "now everyone can hear it too". Shiramine Ayaka didn't talk in my head, so my feeling was more "Ooh! So that's what you sound like. You're cute, Shiramine." (laugh) The way I picture the characters hasn't changed, but right after the recording I really heard those voices in my head, though now they have quieted down.

Ca: I really think your art is pretty, but do you employ any assistants?

NN: No, I draw all alone.

Ca: You mean you draw everything by yourself, even the backgrounds? That's something…

NN: And you, Canno-san, do you employ assistants?

Ca: I do receive help from friends, occasionally, but normally I work alone. I'm afraid of drawing manga with people I don't know, honestly… Well, you could say I'm just shy. (laugh)

NN: Oh I know how you feel! I'm really shy too… Since I'm not very good a communicating with people, I end up more comfortable with controlling all of my work myself. But I'm aware that it may not be such a good thing when you draw manga.

Ca: That's a very mature comment.

NN: What I'm saying is very childish, though. (laugh) "I can't communicate, so I'm fine by myself!" (laugh)

Ca: Ahaha!

NN: Still, you're pretty impressive yourself. AnoKiss' backgrounds are really filled and polished.

Ca: You could say I'm a bit afraid of the void, so I often try my best to fill the blanks. In your art, however, it's like the blanks are used as an integral component of the picture, and I'm fond of that.

NN: Thank you very much! I have a question about AnoKiss: on the first chapters cover, many characters are drawn, and one of them in the back, Machida Kaoru, already appeared in volume 4. As you are writing an ensemble story, I wonder how far you had planned from the start.

Ca: Kaoru is an exception, actually. I had always planned on introducing her and even imagined the chapter, but she wasn't my top priority either, so she ended up appearing quite late. If the story had ended in 2 or 3 volumes, she wouldn't have appeared, but now we're at volume 4. So, no, I haven't really planned that much ahead. (laugh)

NN: Is that so. Since the gardening club arc and even the astronomy arc flowed so naturally, I thought you had all that in mind from the beginning.

Ca: I pretty much advance at random, but if it feels planned then I'm glad. (laugh)

−−You two have talked quite a lot today. How was it?

NN: As I was one of her fans, I almost feel guilty for talking with her so casually.

Ca: Oh no, I thank you, really. Yagate Kimi ni Naru has a very cool artstyle and you are equally cool, so I was afraid you'd tell me "I don't care about someone who draws such frivolous manga!", but luckily you are a kind person. (laugh)

NN: What do you mean frivolous?! No way! I'm really thankful that I could talk with you today. I could tell you what I liked and what my favorite character was in AnoKiss, so as a fan I feel content… AnoKiss and YagaKimi, despite being both yuri mangas, differ on a lot of aspects, but I was happy to find that I had a lot in common with you, Canno-san. I'll work hard on YagaKimi so that it doesn't lose to AnoKiss, so please be well!

−−Thank you very much for today.

Interview: Kaazu (Kaazu SP)

−−−−−−−−−−−

…So yeah, you can now consider me a NioCanno shipper.

But more seriously, imagine a yuri written by Nakatani and drawn by Canno. That would be something. * o *

(via Lyendith on Dynasty)

Interview #2

[milesperhorror]

rough af seeder family details

(so i don’t forget this shit/edits on going lmao) florence seeder: the mother of our seeds. blessed with a tilted, wild beauty-- all big shoulders and wide swinging hips and her hippy hair that always stretched down to her ass. her father used to strike her with the back of his hand and threaten to cut it all off while her mother watched from her perch in the kitchen. a family with roots in the california fields and hands that were endlessly caked in dirt, florence used to stretch out in the socal sun with her stoner friends and say, “i’m the fucking grapes of wrath incarnate” topher, the first guy she’d ever kiss tenderly and who died while wandering drunk on a train trestle, laughed and blew smoke into her golden hair, “flo, none of us are shit-- none of us are ever gonna be shit, either.”  florence had laughed like a maniac at that but the knowledge was already seeded inside her: topher was wrong-- she was going to be something, she was going to be something great. last name “cedar”, like the wood chips, but as a drunken twenty-something it didn’t sit well behind her first name and she scraped her tips until she could change it. ”i’m gonna plant something in this world”, she told the receptionist at the courthouse who rolled his eyes because when he was growing up, everyone was saying stupid shit like that and writing away the god fearing parts of themselves to be named after flowers and rivers. but florence knew better-- that was her one and only flaw: despite the drugs and impulsive, breathless way she ran her fingers through the swarms of male acquaintances, our girl always knew best. she knew when she said she loved someone-- her men, her kids-- she knew it was true. fillip seeder: first born, the only one whose birth certificate read “cedar” (if only for a few years of his life), and some would say a bad seed, though not bad enough that he didn’t manage to dig his roots deep in the other seeder kids’ hearts. he wasn’t taken from birth by devilishness or cruelty-- the kid just wanted to be liked and respected more than he’d ever figured out how to articulate. son of jimmy mccullen, sunless looking priest who was twice florence’s age when he called her over to his sedan and said “i’m so cold, girlie”. fillip was born out of that dark place and always seemed to shy away from the lights of greatness, no matter how often he talked about “being someone”. was he smart-- yes. talented-- kid could draw with charcoal like a university student the day he turned ten. hard-working-- only when he felt like he’d get noticed, which was never when ferris was alive. used to hunker down in his room to “study” but just ended up sketching out everything he was feeling instead. Told Florence, Ferris’s father, and his many foster parents-- “art doesn’t mean shit”, like if he said it enough he could trade in his clever hands for an ability he had deemed more useful. so determined was he to avoid being quiet and sensitive and mild: all the things florence had cooed to ferris, spinning prophecies about where such qualities would take her blond favorite. fillip refused to be the replacement, as far as he was concerned, his mom had already made her decision: laid the best of her love into the earth next to the son she adored most of all. he found a compromise in middle school: used his quick learning fingers and stunted size for fighting. he was fast and cruel-- an endless pale blur of energy and intuitive blows. his friends were budding dropouts, but they loved him-- and he loved the way they looked at him when he was speckled with bruises and blood. loved his mom like a son should but he never quite forgave her for ferris or what came after all that. when florence was laid in the ground though, the man knew he had to make it up for her-- despite his darkness, he didn’t want his sisters to be split down the middle like he and ferris had been. took them on at twenty three-- a benefactor with pale, greasy hair and arms that were always full of books. “read these,” he said, “we seeder’s gotta make something of ourselves before we die ” but that was our boy’s destiny after all-- a dark burnout who went in a silent flare of darker fire. ferris seeder: the second born, willowy little seeder. they say you have to pull up weeds by the root and life was intent on snatching up little ferris the second he pulled in his first shaky gulp of air. sickly, paler than fillip (which shouldn’t have been possible), and the only seeder child whose dad was in the room. chance graceson. sandy haired motherfucker who was like florence: really thought he loved people until he hung around them too long. split in the night three months after ferris came to be. florence didn’t mind-- the guy drank all her seltzer water and missed the toilet when he pissed. ferris, though, she adored. they say mothers don’t have favorites but everyone who wasn’t an orphan or an only child knows that’s bullshit. mothers love one kid with tens times the intensity they love all the others-- and god, florence though she’d been baptised in fire the moment she saw ferris. frail little boy. he needed her in a way fillip never would, and she bet everything on his tiny life-- lost her house to medical bills and went on the run with ferris, leaving fillip in foster care for two years.  ferris was timid and sweet only for florence and he only lasted those three, dreamy years before his lungs and heart finally decided they’d had enough of fighting to function the same way all the other body parts did with effortlessness. no funeral. florence was broke and broken-- she buried him on the california coast, up by big sur, under a cypress tree she mistook for a cedar. then she stole back her firstborn who didn’t even ask where his brother was. fable seeder: our heroine, the tree whose roots folded up out of the ground like Tolkien’s ents-- a walking tree from a forest closing in on the scottish moor. fable’s father was the best of the bunch and our lucky girl became a container for the love both he and florence left with her. malcolm johnson-- with skin like rich, late-night laughter and eyes so brown they were almost black. he pulled florence up out of her misery and debt. man wasn’t successful at anything people admired, but what he lacked in traditional actualization, he made up for in raw, impossible luck. guy was banned from las vegas, though none of the casinos could ever file a suit against him for anything they could prove. in fact, the only time the world demanded even a hint of misfortune from him was when fable was born-- in a hurricane that kept the public transport stagnant and cut the power in the hospital where florence was. nurses elsewhere, fable was born by candle-light, the midwife an old woman in a wheelchair who’d answered to florence’s moans of pain. such humble means to florence were fantastical-- so “fable” it was. malcolm used to sit our girl on his knee and tell her, “you got something to give to the world, fable.” and then bounce her high and catch her in his large hands while she shrieked with laughter. she was freckled like with such nebulous impressiveness, fillip used to say she was her own tiny universe. florence always called her aesop, though. between starry skies and talking animals, little fable was showered from all sides with luck and laughter and love. perhaps she remembers it better than it was-- the way the cops were always on florence’s ass about fillip and the way malcolm would come home with wounds he never intended to see a doctor for-- maybe our girl blocked all that out. she remembers the polaroid, though, malcolm’s gift to her at age four. he told her, “show me how you see things” and so she spent the day taking pictures of the edges of tables and underside of the mastiff florence had found in a box on the side of the road. all these neat, developing squares fable took and arranged out on the kitchen floor. then she called malcolm and florence in. florence smiled and hugged her daughter, her swell of pride still hazy from grief that never seemed to sleep, but malcolm swept up fable and exclaimed, “so talented, so talented! you’re gonna be ansel adams two, baby fable!” fillip lingered in the doorway, old enough to understand he was passed the age where he could be jealous of his siblings. he said, “nice, star-girl” but did not mention anything about art being shit, and tried to keep his smile as steady as his mom’s. when elis was born, even fable knew she wasn’t malcolm’s, but the man never once mentioned it. held elis just as tightly as fable and cheered her on with the same dedication. fable was damn near obsessed with her little sister-- always showing her how to do things, giving her a million silly nicknames, and always taking polaroids of the little blonde’s furious screaming or delighted cries.  but then came malcolm’s second brush with unluckiness-- there was the war overseas and malcolm’s own fervent patriotism (��florence, this country is the best one in the world-- even with it’s bad spots!”). foot got injured, then infected, and then fable lost her father like the two seeder’s before her.  florence went wild. stared dressing in her high school clothes and drinking every waking moment. anything to keep the threat of reality at bay. if her love had died with ferris, her spirit was forever wrapped in an american flag-- side by side with the man she could have seen her future in. fable was scared. fable was sad. fable had to keep reminding herself of how a camera flash lit up the room, how it could preserve smiling faces forever. florence and malcolm’s and fillip’s and elis’ beaming faces, immortalized in the invincibility of black and white. it would take her years to look beyond these childhood memories-- years to crave the questions the photographs dangled in front of her. who were these smiling faces? where had they come from? and where had they gone-- really, truly: where were they now?  her mother got her curious, her brother plunged her into the tepid waters of conspiracy, but when elis vanished into the great american wilds-- then and only then did she pack a bag and set out. felicity “elis” seeder: you wanna talk supposed “bad seeds” in the seeder family history and you can’t dodge elis. if the family bore the kind of curse some would become convinced it did, most of it had been heaped onto elis’ pale shoulders. exhibit a: she was the spitting image of her mother-- eyes, hair, the sturdy jaw and the wide hips. it was a resemblance she resented the hell out of-- strangers in public letting her know she looked just like her wasted, wailing mother. whoop-tee-fucking-doo. if florence loved ferris best and fable loved elis best, then elis adored fillip most of all. her dad was a mystery, even to florence, and though fable would turn up theories of ms. charlotte chen or mr. skip, elis decided pretty quickly that she didn’t need one. fillip would take care of her. and fable would pick up the slack when he was at work.  after all, fillip was the one who had showed up first-- before the police or the prodding neighbors-- when florence died.  oh poor elis, cursed ghost girl in a family of wandering ghosts-- she’d been the one who’d seen it happen. a dark figure in the hallway-- she called him “the person with ears”. the therapists thought she was psychotic and fillip and fable had been patient with elis’ “a monster killed mom” story, but then fillip found a job that could support the three of them. And then he stopped telling elis that “monsters don’t exist”. “i love her too, fillip, but do you actually beli--?” he’d hold up a hand and shake his head, “do your homework, star-girl. you have a lot of work to do probably.” elis was always eavesdropping through the thin walls of the apartment. fillip believed her, she could feel it in the core of herself-- and she loved him best of all for it. but seeing your mom die doesn’t make you a bad seed, after all-- elis’ restlessness, her wildness, her desire to find out how things broke and struggled and burned. that was the badness. the way she’d tell fable “to go fuck herself as soon as she could speak”, the way she’d smash her presents just see the look on florence’s face. “i’m cursed,” she used to cry into fable’s shoulder, “i just want to hurt people. i just want everything to die.” it was a mantra that, after fillip died, just became “we’re cursed. we’re cain, fable, we’re the fucking children of cain. i don’t know how mom fucked up or her dad or whatever but we’re all--” fable just let her cry. held her close and whispered “shh shh” until elis had screamed and rambled herself to sleep.  she still wanted everything to burn, but held in her a new fear: that he appetite for destruction was predestined into some cruel deity’s master plan and not a wild extension of her own, home-grown depravity. after fillip was reported dead, the girls only got a few more months together-- foster care just couldn’t keep them in the same homes-- but fable could already feel elis slipping through her fingers. and at 17, the girl disappeared from the world altogether.  of course, elis was fable’s wake up call-- the charge to take up her camera and whatever else she could carry from her past (malcolm’s polaroid camera, florence’s favorite flannel shirt, fillip’s copy of the plato’s republic, and elis’ shaky handed journal) and find her sister. and the rest of her family.