#well technically three and one is in jail now so. yikes.

[5-pp-man]

they really said "it's better to live life while imperfect and disgraceful than to die perfect and beautiful without ever really living at all."

[t3acupz]

I didn't know there was another Hannibal Con! (Everyone said it was awkward, tho but idk 🤷‍♀️)

I actually wasn’t going to watch the panel because I’m on hiatus (got sent to horny jail) but for you, darling, I decided to so I can give you a good answer <333

So the panel was moderated by Rotem Rusak who I think is awesome because anyone that’s been a fan for over a decade now and still wears the flower crowns is an OG in my book. Three minutes in and I’m already feeling the tension in the air. When Rotem mentioned filming season 4, Mads made a sort of sardonic remark about needing work which I think really answers the overarching question about these panels — are they doing it to try to get a season 4 made or are they looking for a quick paycheck and I think the answer is clearly the latter.

I thought the first question was really well thought out and as far as I know, has never been asked before, “Did you have any real life or fictional inspirations for your characters?” Mads’ answer was pretty basic, I thought Hugh’s was really interesting (if only he could remember the scientist’s name lol).

Pretty quickly after that the panel starts taking a downturn. I think it being so long after making the show, Mads has grown tired of romanticizing a cannibal serial killer. He’s seemed exasperated when he said “You think it’s human what he’s doing to Will?” Then he goes on to call Will a friend, a long lost brother. Then he kinda does a jab at the fans for saying that Hannibal’s feelings for Will humanized him more. Honestly, yikes. He knows his audience so I’m not sure why he would imply that there’s something morally wrong with Hannibal fans by retorting, “It says a lot about you guys.”

Hugh saying that he doesn’t think either of them are high on the human scale contradicts one of the main themes of the show. Will is supposed to be our Everyman. He’s our crucible and perspective despite the show technically being about Hannibal. We’re supposed to relate to Will and see his corruption as something that can happen to anyone.

“You’re just going to keep going until we tell you—”

That one threw me. Hugh sounds so done with it all.

As an aside, I was kinda smirking when she asked about either of them succeeding in killing the other because boyyy I live in my Mukōzuke alternate ending daydreams like it’s my second home. I was half hoping he’d say that Will would go on a date with Matthew.

And then Mads called the audience “sick fucks.” Mmmmmm ok sir. I think we’re getting a little too nasty with that language (I cringed).

Hannibal finds a ginger colored hair on Will’s shoulder??? BRO HE SMELLED HIM!! Mads rewatch the show please.

Dammit Hugh, don’t spoil our headcanon that Will wanted to help Hannibal escape because he loved him and missed him.

Finally someone in the audience asked them to kiss which is what I’ve been dying for someone to do since the first panel, and we got our answer “You can’t afford that.”

Look, I get it, they’re just actors. They’re doing a gig for a paycheck. But honestly, the fans have been begging for a hannigram kiss for a decade and here they are on stage together, getting paid (way too much) to haphazardly answer questions about a show that made them famous and one little peck wouldn’t kill them. But that’s the answer folks, if you want them to kiss, you gotta PAY THEM. *sigh*

OH LORD, IT KEEPS GOING….. Now Mads is saying they were never going to actually kiss in twotl. They were just getting egged on by the fans during the filming of season 3 but it was never going to be a legit thing. Gagged.

Hugh being flattered by the fans’ reactions was cute. I think Hannibal is one of those rare shows that resonates with people on the fringes of society, and that makes it so special.

The season 4 question was another major letdown. Nothing about exploring their relationship or where they escaped to. Just some sarcastic remarks. I have to say that not having Bryan Fuller at this panel is such a disappointment. I honestly would rather hear his takes on these questions than Mads and Hugh’s at this point.

Damn, I’d love to have known what Will’s favorite movies or books were but nope, Hugh doesn’t want to think too deeply about that.

Anyway, that seemed to be it for the Hannibal related questions. So in conclusion, was it awkward? Yeah kinda.

[365days365movies]

January 13, 2021: House of Flying Daggers (2004)

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was HUGE. I don’t just mean on this blog, I mean in the United States in 2000 and 2001. If you were alive and aware of movies that year, then you remember people talking about this movie. It was, and is to this day, the highest grossing foreign-language film in the United States. So what does that mean?

It means that Ang Lee wouldn’t be the only wuxia film director to cross the pond. Two years later, a little movie called Hero would be released internationally. That wuxia would eventually become the #3 highest-grossing foreign language movie in the USA. It’]s director was an old hat wuxia director in China, Zhang Yimou.

Yimou’s success on China never translated in the USA, until Hero in 2002. After that, he would release more films in the USA, one of the most recent being...oh. OH. OH NO, The Great Wall starring Matt Damon, Pedro Pascal, and Willem Dafoe?!? THAT’S A ZHANG YIMOU MOVIE?

...I mean, Ang Lee made the 2003 Hulk, so I guess nobody’s perfect. Anyway, House of Flying Daggers.

Zhang Ziyi’s back! This is another critically acclaimed movie, but wasn’t nearly as popular in the USA. It was nominated for one Academy Award, for Best Cinematography, but it lost to The Aviator. I’ll talk about that one in the future the way of the future the way of the future the way of the future.

But OK, enough introduction, IT’S WUXIA TIME WOOO SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

The House of Flying Daggers is a Robin Hood organization, stealing from the wealthy and giving to the disenfranchised in a particularly poor area and time period in China. Their biggest enemies, as you’d expect from a Robin Hood group, are the police, who are conspiring to take down their leader within ten days, whomever they may be.

One of these policeman is Jin (Takeshi Kaneshiro), who goes to the Peony Pavilion, an “entertainment house” full of beautiful women. See, the leader’s daughter is rumored to be working there as a new showgirl.

This is the blind dancer Mei (Zhang Ziyi), who’s questioned awkwardly by the VERY drunk Jin. She dances and sings for him, as requested. Good time to mention something that I didn’t mention yesterday: Zhang Ziyi has no martial arts background prior to her film career. Instead, her background is in dance! She learned fight choreography in that film the same way she learned dance choreography. So, it’s neat to see her return to her roots.

It’s less neat to see Jin straight-up sexually assault her and get arrested by the cops. So, y’know, ups and downs there. To prevent from getting arrested herself, Mei accepts the offer to play a game called “Echo.” This is prompted by another police officer, Leo (Andy Lau). He, uh...throws beans at a circle of drums, and she responds by hitting the drums with her sleeves. Yeah. Sounds dumb, right? Well, check out how it looks.

This is a very different movie, as compared to CTHD. And yeah, I’m only 15 minutes in, but the choreography is far more artistically flourished. Yeah. I said that as compared to CTHD. Only time will tell, but this full dance sequence is definitely interesting to watch.

Anyway, as you can see above, it ends once Mei grabs the captain’s sword with her sleeve ribbons, and challenges him to a duel. She also TOTALLY blows her cover as a sympathizer to the House of Flying Daggers, and the two fight.

This fight does NOT go well for her, and she’s arrested. Also, it would seem that the drunken display by Jin was actually just a ruse, meant to get her to play the game and reveal herself. Seems...complicated, but it got result, I guess? Anyway, they threaten her with torture (like you do), unless she gives them information of the new leader of the House of Fly...HoFD. There. If CTHD gets an acronym, so does this.

Suddenly, though, a ninja appears and sets Mei free, fighting off the guards. Said ninja reveals himself as...Jin? They refamiliarize themselves.

Very refamiliar.

Anyway, the soldiers are indeed approaching, and Mei and Jin go on the run. The policemen chase them down on horses, and Mei takes down three horses and the guys riding them...with a scabbard. By herself. Badass.

That’s followed by her taking on four armed men at once, although this round doesn’t go nearly as well.

Luckily for her, however, Jin arrives in the nick of time to save her. We get this VERY cool POV arrow shot:

And the two leave. HOWEVER, the policeman ALL get up at the end, which means...Jin’s lying about all of this, huh? It’s a ruse to find to location of the HoFD, using Mei as an unwitting guide. Oof. Liar revealed plot set-up, huh? If that’s the case...I’ll get into that more later.

Jin leaves a message for his fellows, while Mei bathes and puts on men’s clothes provided by Jin, as a disguise. 

It’s at this point that Jin decides to go FULL creep again, and GODDAMN is it not working for me. It is...UNCOMFORTABLE, knowing what we know about Jin. And yet, despite that information...

It’s working for Mei. Yeah, they make out. Mei does say that it’s too soon, and that she doesn’t quite trust him that much yet...but they definitely made out there for a hot sec. It was...yup.

We get a reminder the Jin’s kind of an emotionally manipulative asshole as he meets with Leo, who warns her not to “fall for her.” So. It IS one of these stories, huh? We’ll see how it goes, but...yeah, not digging the love story so far.

And yet, as I say that, there goes Jin, falling in love with her. Soldiers consistently follow them wherever they go. Looks like the plan is backfiring, as soldiers who aren’t one of Jim’s cohorts believe that he’s a member of the HoFD, having broke Mei out of jail and all. So they attack them in earnest, even injuring Jin somewhat.

And that’s when Mei brings out the dagger. The Flying Dagger. THE HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGER.

I tell ya...that’s cool. Might be a CGI house of flying dagger (LOT of CGI in this movie, by the way, and none of it is technically...good), but I love it. The two fight off the soldiers in the field using the house of flying daggers and arrows, but reinforcements arrive. The two fight them in a sequence that’s more dance than ight. And it’s pretty cool. But they’re soon outnumbered.

Until...some wooden dowels come out of NOWHERE, impaling them in the neck and taking them down. Having survived, the two rest in the field, pondering where the dowels came from. And, of course, making out.

Although, this time, Mei starts it, and Jin refuses. He leaves, at her urging, and meets with Leo. Turns out the General sent the soldiers in the field, and is sending more to kill Mei AND Jin. And, as a note, Jin just KILLED some of those guys, as did Mei. Arrow boys from earlier lived, since it was a set-up for Mei. But, no, Jin actually has to kill the soldiers coming up.

That’s when he realizes that the General doesn’t care about him, at ALL, and he’s willing to shed the blood of his men and of Jin to get his goals met. And Jin...quits. Jin STRAIGHT UP quits, and returns to Mei. They get into a spat, and Mei leaves. And she goes to...

A bamboo forest. Thank you, China, for loving bamboo so much in these movies, because this sequence is gorgeous. I tell you, these movies do real well with the bamboo green color. Gorgeous.

The soldiers ambush Mei there, but Jin’s caught up, and he helps fight them off. Some awesome bamboo tricks (and sounds, by the way, real neat sounds here), more object-throwing (including a lot of using the bamboo stalks as weapons, which is SUPER FUCKIN’ COOL), and some gorgeous cinematography though the forest. Real talk, this scene made the movie for me. So far, anyway. We even get a BADASS bamboo spike trap! And it’s here that our pair is caught.

AND THEN

IT’S THE HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS FUCK YEAH

Looks like the madam of the entertainer’s house actually is the head of the HoFD, once again upholding the tradition of badass women of wuxia that we’ve seen in LITERALLY ALL THREE of these movies.

The leader asks if Jin likes Mei, and would consider marrying her. It’s far too soon for Jin, and he’s formally captured by the HoFD. They knew about his and Leo’s plan, and drag a captured Leo in as well. AND, AND...MEI’S NOT BLIND, or the daughter of the leader!!! Yeah! She’s been faking the whole movie! HA! Liar revealed indeed!

Didn’t see that one coming! Mei’s just a normal anti-governmentrevolutionary, and Jin’s now just a prisoner alongside Leo. But another twist, as this isn’t the actual leader of the HoFD. Leo reveals this; and how does he know that? LEO...IS A GODDAMN MOLE IN THE GOVERNMENT!!! WHAT????? YES! Leo’s a member of the HoFD, and he was planted three years ago to spy on the cops! And...AND...HE’S MEI’S FIANCEE!! WHAT IN THE SHIT?!?

OH I AM FULLY INVESTED. What the hell else is gonna happen? How about a game of Echo?

Yeah, that scene from earlier? No wonder it was a dance! It was the reunion between two lovers, long since parted! Holy shit, THIS is a romance I can fully get behind! But...can Mei? Because she certainly isn’t feeling it as much as Leo is...

Yup. Looks like she fell in love with Jin after all. Uh oh. BIG UH OH. And there goes my support of their romance, as Leo tries to rape Mei. Nia, the leader, ain’t having it, and throws a dagger into Jin’s back. He goes back to spy on the cops, but not before shaming Mei. Oof. I take it back. 

And now, Mei’s been told to kill Jin. I’m sure that’s gonna happen.

YUP

Well, after they have Field Sex (probably better than CTHD’s Cave Sex, let’s be honest), they decide to go their separate ways, becoming fated lovers on two separate sides. But Mei has second thoughts, and goes back.

Somebody else comes back, too.

YIKES, LEO! Yeah, he kills her right there in the field, blaming her for making him kill her! YIKES, LEO!!! I take it back, you’re a DICK.

Jin ALSO comes back for Mei, and finds Leo instead. A pissed-off Leo reveals himself to Jin, and the two engage in a sword battle for Mei. And then...autumn turns to winter.

As the army encroaches on the HoFD in the bamboo forest, two former friends shed blood amongst the snow. Their fight...their fight is brutal. The choreography may not be the fanciest...but it is insanely and viciously emotional. Blood and snow, man. Blood and snow.

Also, hey, guess who’s alive after all! Mei gets up, despite the DAGGER IN HER CHEST STILL. She asks Leo to let Jin go, or she’ll USE THE DAGGER IN HER CHEST TO KILL HIM. METAL. Obviously, that’ll actually kill her, So Jin asks her not to do it. But it doesn’t matter in the end.

Mei throws her dagger to intercept Leo’s. And Leo...never throws his dagger..

Leo leaves. Mei dies. Jin cries and sings their song.

A rare beauty in the North. She’s the finest lady on earth. A glance from her, the whole city goes down. A second glance leaves the nation in ruins. There exists no city or nation that has been more cherished than a beauty like this. A rare beauty in the North. She’s the finest lady on earth. A glance from her, the whole city goes down. A second glance leaves the nation in ruins. There exists no city or nation that has been more cherished than a beauty like this.

And we never see what happens to the...House of Flying Daggers.

WHOOF. Epilogue soon.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #333

“imaginary chain  /  the one you never break  /  seething all alone”

Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? Nah, I'm pretty open about what I'm afraid of. What website do you spend most of your time on? YouTube. What class in high school did you struggle with the most? I honestly don't remember with certainty, but it was probably math or economics. At least, I think econ was my senior year. What could you talk about for hours? Mark, meerkats, a few game franchises... maybe a couple more topics. Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I wouldn't know. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you have a Steam account? Yeah, but I don't have many games on there and rarely touch the ones I do. Do you like gaming? I do, but not as much as I did for most of my life. I mostly just play WoW now, and even that I'm not that into anymore. Part of it though comes from not buying any new games that I'm interested in because 1.) no money and 2.) no proper console, and you can only replay games so many times before you're just... yeah, done. Do you like reading books? Some days. Do you like religion? All things considered? No. Do you like Grand Theft Auto V? Y'know, growing up, I actually liked watching my younger neighbor play one of those games, but I don't remember which. Though he never actually "played" it... just ran around wreaking havoc, lol. I do however think GTAV was the one that Jason and Jacob started playing together when we moved into the apartment, and I thought the story was okay; I don't think they ever got far into it, though. Definitely wasn't Jason's sort of game, and I don't think it was too much up Jacob's alley, either. Can you twerk? I haven't tried and you will never see me try either, lmao. Do you have a Spotify account? Yes, but I almost never use it. If the last person you kissed tried to kiss you again, would you start kissing them back? Yes. If your best friend of the opposite sex tried to kiss you, would you start kissing them back? No. Have you ever kissed someone who has previously kissed someone you hated? Yes, because of how badly she hurt him. I don't have any negative feelings towards her now, though. We're actually friends, haha. The irony. Are you an easy lay? What weird wording. But whatever, quite the polar opposite actually. When’s the last time you said you were sorry? A few days ago. Are there any songs you listen to everyday? No. Would you like living on the coast? As someone who lives in a state hit by hurricanes usually every year and has seen the incredible damage they usually bring to the coast, no. I don't like the smell or gritty feel of salty air, either. When’s the last time you were really late to something? No idea. That's usually not a problem with me. Why did you stop liking the last person you liked? The last person I actually stopped like-liking would be Girt, and that would be because I just came to the realization I saw him too much as my brother instead of boyfriend. It just always felt awkward. Do you still talk to that person? Yeah, we're good. No hard feelings or anything between us. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No. Do you trust easily? Fuck no. I'll be cautious, at least to some degree, about new people for a while. What is the last song to make you cry? Since I've actually behaved and not listened to any trigger songs, it's been a long while, but it was probably "Another Life" by Motionless In White. Last person you hung up on? I'm sure some automated message. I barely ever answer the phone to numbers I don't recognize, though. Where was your last car ride to and from? To Wal-Mart w/ Mom to pick up our order and then back home. Next big outing? *shrug* Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? Not really, no. Considering I'm by far my most authentic self online, I actually tend to appreciate virtual friends more, if I'm being honest. I try to keep up with those people. Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? Not really, no. I think I saw Warcraft the day it came into theaters, though. Do movies often make you cry? What kind of films/scenes make you tear up most? Yep. Tragic romance tends to do it the most, I think. Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? I have one to track my menstrual cycle as well as another that tracks my daily caloric intake, but I'm bad at using it because it's tedious if I actually have to measure something. Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? Ummm if you mean like, in general, probably my mom's. But this most certainly depends on the subject I'm taking feedback on. What is something society "expects" you to do that you don't want to do and/or don't plan on doing? Shaving my legs came to mind first. Granted, I will if there is almost any chance of someone seeing them, but otherwise, I just don't care. We respect women with body hair on this account and see them as no less feminine. Are you interested in architecture? Is there any particular style that you're drawn to? I think it's cool, yeah. I should have an answer for this, given architecture was a massive focus in Art History the last time I was in school... Roman architecture comes to my head first, if that says anything. What was one of your favorite things from the nineties? BOY OH BOY, SO MUCH!! I'm probably gonna say the toys. There was some dope shit, man. Do you collect things pertaining to an animal? ANYTHING and EVERYTHING featuring a meerkat!!!!! :''') Do you wish that people were kinder to spiders? Well, yes. I hope everyone in their heart wishes this, even if they're afraid of them. They're very important to our ecosystem, and none are out there to harm us; their existence does us a favor. Where do you normally order pizza from? Domino's (my favorite) or LIttle Caesar's for the price. Did your parents keep anything of yours from when you were a baby? Oh yes, loads of stuff that's stored away somewhere. Do you own one of those "____ For Dummies" books? No, but I feel like we had one at some point? What was the last VHS tape that you watched? Yikes, who knows. Did you watch Boy Meets World back in the day? I actually didn't, no. Our old neighbor though loved it so much that she named her daughter Tapanga (deliberately spelled that way). Who is your favorite Scooby Doo character? I never really had one. Maybe Thelma. If I were to give you a coloring book, what would you want its theme to be? Animals. Have you ever won a stuffed animal at a carnival? Possibly a small one. I can tell you I did however accidentally stab the guy who ran the dart-throwing booth though, lmfao. He was obviously fine, and it wasn't a bad wound. I felt SOOOOOO bad. Are you a fan of narwhals? I'm a fan of any animal. Narwhals are definitely fascinating creatures. Grape or orange soda? Orange. Grape-flavored soda ain't my thing. Have you ever wanted to vlog? Noooo. My life is so painstakingly boring and repetitive. Did you have a favorite Disney movie as a child? It was and still is The Lion King. Do you or have you ever owned a portable gaming console? Yeah, a GameBoy Advance and Nintendo DS. Is shyness cute? It definitely can be. Have you ever had alcohol poisoning before? No. Do you like to gossip, or do you prefer to keep your mouth shut? I'm not a gossip fan. Have you ever vandalized someone else’s property before? Most definitely not. Are your parents divorced? Yes. Have you ever been under suicide watch for 72 hours in a psychiatric ward? Yes; at least here, that's protocol when you're admitted for suicidal thoughts/tendencies. Have you ever gone through your significant other’s phone or social media accounts, or do you respect their privacy? Absolutely not. That shit pisses me off so badly. Do you wear any sort of clothing for religious reasons? No. What's something you worked extremely hard to get? My sanity back. Sounds so dramatic, but I'm literally not kidding. Have you ever been labeled negatively or otherwise been called something extremely derogatory? Not that I remember. How many kids do you want to have? I don't want kids, but to entertain the question, when I did, I wanted three. It's fuckin wild to imagine for even a second that I once wanted that. Do you believe that being gay is a sin? *eye roll* Are you any good at photography? If so, what’s your specialty? I mean it with modesty, but I think I'm pretty good. My favorite thing to photograph are animals, but I generally take most pictures of people by request or pay. Judging by my deviantART account, my nature pics definitely get the most attention. Have you ever been a member of a gang before? Fuckin yikes, no. An infamous gang tried breaking into my childhood home once, so you can probably gather that I would never take part in their "big bad guys" bullshit. Have you ever felt like you were neither male nor female? No, I'm comfortable as a cisgender female. Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? NO. Anything with raisins = NO. Do you think you’re attractive? No. Has a teacher ever caught and read a note you were passing in class? No, not that I really passed notes to begin with. I'd be mortified, regardless of what it was about. Would you rather live in a tropical or arctic climate? Arctic. Do you have an older brother? Yes. He's technically my half-brother, but I don't see "half"s. Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No. Are your collarbones prominent? Bitch I wish so I could get the damn dermal piercings I've wanted for years. Have you ever in your life worn overalls? As a kid, yeah. So ugly. Do you love yourself? It's... weird. Therapy is making me realize that a part of me, maybe even the bigger one, doesn't, but at the exact same time, I know I have worth just like every other human. I just don't treat myself like I do. What TV shows do you keep up with? None, until Meerkat Manor returns this summer. :') When’s the last time it snowed where you live? A couple months ago we got a little bit of it. Is your belly button pierced? No, but it would be if I was actually skinny. Just in my personal opinion, I don't at all think that that piercing would look nice on someone as overweight as me. Even if my damn dreams come true and I lose all the weight I want, my stomach will never look "normal," even after I get the excess skin removal surgery that will be very high on my priority list for my own self-image that's been nothing but loathsome since 2016. What is your favourite dinosaur? Spinosaurus is the obvious answer. What do you remember the most about your childhood? Lots of imagination. Parents arguing. Playing with my little sister. What age did you get your first hair cut? I have no idea. Do you have a favourite toy from childhood still? No. I wish I hadn't gotten rid of it. Have you ever made bread? No. Would you ever consider shaving your head? Nah. Would you like to live in a realm where the zombie apocalypse is possible? Who says we don't now? Zombifying parasites already exist among insects and such, so like... it's not unimaginable to one day see one developed enough to infect humans. I sure as fuck hope not, but. What do you use to dry your clothes? (Tumble dryer, radiator, etc) We have a dryer. Do you ever play the built-in games on your computer? Which ones? Nah. What was the last spontaneous thing you did? I did this many, many months ago, but I guess watch an episode of The Witcher by my own volition. I don't really do spontaneous things with how routine I am, but I had a random urge to check it out one morning. How loud can you whistle? Not very loud at all. Does anything on your body hurt or itch right now? My knees really hurt. They're getting worse. When was the last time you built a sandcastle? There's noooo telling, it's been many years. Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull? No. Well, not a *real* one, anyway. Just the little ones for kids. If you had to appear on a game show, which one would you choose? Family Feud. What is your favorite hot beverage? Hot chocolate. Do you have an alter ego? Describe them: No. Food: Are you adventurous or do you stick to what you know? I absolutely stick to what I know. I am SO picky. Is there anything (out of the obvious) that makes you feel really ill? I'm not immediately sure, but there's probably something. Do you bump into things often? Yes. I've always had this weird habit of like... drifting when I walk, so I do this easily. I just kinda wander to the sides a bit without realizing it. What design is on your calendar this year? I don't have a current one. Did you enjoy playing Hop Scotch when you were younger? I did. Do you feel uncomfortable going to the movies by yourself? Nah, not really. I did that with Warcraft and it was actually pretty chill. When thinking about your dream home, what do you think would be your favorite thing to shop for? The ~g o t h i c~ decor. Do you ever listen to those lo-fi hip hop/study music playlists on YouTube/Spotify? No. Are you likelier to work harder if you’re being paid? If not, what drives you to give your best effort? I mean, yeah. I'd assume that's pretty normal. Does the fashion sense of a potential partner matter to you? No. Is there anything that you prefer to write down rather than type? I'm unsure. If you download/torrent things, do you remember the first thing you ever torrented? Oh, the Limewire days of music pirating... but no, I don't remember. What was the last thing you posted on Instagram? Something photography-related, but I don't feel like checking. What do you wish your hair looked like? I wish I could pull off pastel pink hair rn. It also desperately needs a trim. Do you still feel anything for the first person you fell in love with? I'm sure I always will, at least a little. Do you get any magazines in the mail? No. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? Uhhhhh have I? I don't think so. Who’d you last see in a tux? Probably the groom of the last wedding I shot. Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? No, but I used to do that big time because I loved "rewatching" stuff when I was on the computer. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? My mother, big time. Who’s the bravest person you know? Also my mother. Or Sara. What profession do you admire the most? Teachers might just win. The patience that must take, among so many other things. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? No.

[ericbarkman]

Tales of WID 72 #4 Remembering Dark Hawk

     Lobo walked into the bar, and looked around at everyone that had gathered for the wake.  A lot of them were people he had not even seen in years, and he thought that if he could feel emotion, he would have been sad that this was the event that had brought them all together again.      Strike Ninja walked over to him.  “Hey Lobo, long time no see.”      “Yes, it has been over eight years since our last interaction,” Lobo said.  “How are you doing?  You knew Dark Hawk longer than any of us.”      “Well, second longest.  Blood Eagle and him went to school together.”      “Ah yes, I was aware they had been in a romantic relationship,” Lobo said.  “Although I assumed it was after they had become superheroes.”      “They were kind of an on again, off again thing over the years until he settled down.”      “He and his wife had kids, correct?  How are they reacting to the situation?”      “They’re strong, I think they’ll be okay, but even still they already lost their mother, and now they’ve lost their father too.  The older two are already adults, and they’ve moved back home to take care of their younger brother.”      “That is good,” Lobo said.  “Family is important.”      “He died a hero,” Ultimate Soldier of America said.  “Saving the Earth from being conquered.”      “Well, saving most of it from being conquered, anyway,” Blood Eagle said.      “Has anyone heard from Solar Flare’s team?” Lioness asked.  “I assume they were in England when the Caldore took over there, but do we at least know if they’re still alive.”      “I still have a few contacts in the military,” Ultimate Soldier of America said.  “I’ve been hearing some of the intel that comes out of there, and last I heard at least a few of them are still active.”      “That’s good,” Lioness said.  “It’s bad enough losing one of us.  Maybe it’s time we came back together as a group again.”      “I don’t know,” Blood Eagle said.  “I mean, we’re all willing to put aside the bad blood to come together over something like this.  But I don’t know if that’d last long enough for us to become a team again.  Not to mention everyone who’s retired by now.”      “Strike Ninja, long time, no see,” Dingo said.  “Or have you finally changed your name to something else?”      “Still going with Strike Ninja,” Strike Ninja said.  “And I can’t believe I’m being criticized by a guy named after a dog.”      “Yeah, but I mean, I’m not the one appropriating someone else’s culture.”      “I think you’re spending too much time on Tumblr.  That wasn’t a thing back when we started.”      “Times change, and we need to change with them, or get stuck in the past.”      “That’s not what we’re here for though.  We’re here to remember Dark Hawk, mourn his death and celebrate his life.”      “Yeah, I remember the first time I ever met him,” Dingo said.  “He was in Australia tracking down members of that…what was that organization called again?”      “The Scorpio Syndicate, we always had so many issues with them.”      “Yeah, anyway, apparently some of them were planning on weaponizing dingos, which was just ridiculous.  It was after freeing those dingos that I took on the name.”      “Yeah, some of those schemes they had, I don’t even know what they were thinking.”      “What ever happened to them?  Are they still around?”      “I know they still have a few groups around the world, but they’re mostly split up and fighting each other more than anyone else these days.”      “Yeah, Dark Hawk and I went way back,” Blood Eagle said.  “Before either one of us had ever thought of putting on a costume and beating up criminals.”      “I was unaware of that prior to today,” Lobo said.  “I understand you were also with him when he died.”      “Yeah, he had asked me and Ultimate Soldier of America to help him out with fighting those alien bastards.  And I mean, I wasn’t going to say no to defending our planet from invasion.”      “Dark Hawk was a good man.”      “That he was.  Maybe too good at times, that’s why it never really worked out between us, no matter how many times we gave it a try.  But he never gave up trying to help me be a better person.”      “I think you are a good person.”      “Thanks, but no offense, you’re a robot that spends all his time with penguins.  I’m not sure you’re exactly equipped to determine my character.  I mean, there’s a reason my superhero name has the word blood in it.”      “Technically, I am an android, not a robot” Lobo said.      “And technically I am a killer, I just limit that killing to people that deserve it.  Dark Hawk didn’t like that.  Not that he’s never killed anyone, but for him it was always a last resort.  And do you know he would visit the criminals he helped arrest after they were in jail?”      “I was unaware of that.”      “Yeah, in his civilian identity he tried the whole reporter thing for a bit.  So he would go talk with them under that pretense, but then he continued talking with them past the interviews.  Even started a few friendships, and helped some of them reform.”      “So there we were,” Ultimate Soldier of America said.  “Completely surrounded.  I was out of ammo, and what does Dark Hawk suggest we do?”      “I don’t know,” the Jaguar said.  “What did he suggest?”      “He came up with this harebrained scheme to try and convince them we’d been hired to assist them.  I mean, my costume at least looks militaryish, so it’s not that big a stretch that I could be a mercenary, but you’ve seen his costume.  He looks like a cross between a biker, a bank robber, and a ballet dancer.”      “And?”      “And somehow it worked.  We managed to figure out exactly what they were planning and gave our findings over to the FBI who shut them down.”      “Yeah, that was something I noticed whenever I worked with him,” the Jaguar said.  “He was a decent fighter, but nothing special.  But that guy could talk his way out of all sorts of situations.  I remember this one time we were undercover in an embassy, posing as chefs.”      “No, I had dinner at his place one time, and there is no way he could pose as a chef.”      “I didn’t know that at the time, and I was the one that set up the IDs, but somehow he managed to talk himself into a position where he was just ordering the other chefs around without doing anything himself.”      “He did have a habit of taking charge,” Ultimate Soldier of America said.  “I understand that’s why Strike Ninja eventually moved to Japan, to forge his own path.”      “Yeah, Dark Hawk could be infuriating at times,” the Jaguar said.  “But he was a good guy, and I’m going to miss him.”      “Yeah, me too.”      “Long time no see, Captain Catholic,” Blood Eagle said.  “Are you even still active anymore?”      “As a superhero?” Captain Catholic asked.  “No, I’ve pretty much left that behind to concentrate on my work.”      “Oh yeah, what kind of work is that?”      “I’d rather not say, you know I’ve always preferred to keep my superhero and civilian lives separate.”      “Yeah, you were always lucky in that area.”      “I mean, considering my superhero name, and where I operated, it was a necessity.  If anyone had ever figured out who I was, it could have ended badly.”      “Even for people like Dark Hawk and myself, it wasn’t exactly that great when certain people learned of our identities.”      “Was that a common occurrence?  I know Dark Hawk especially had some of his friends assist in various ways, and I assume they knew who he was.”      “Yeah, they were mostly fine, but the one issue was that the ex of his eventual wife.  He found out at some point, which might not have been too bad except that he had ties to the Scorpio Syndicate.”      “Yeah, I can’t imagine that went well.”      “We managed,” Blood Eagle said.  “Although I don’t think Dark Hawk ever really knew what I did to deal with that problem.”      “What did you do?”      “You may be Catholic, but you’re not a priest…I think…okay, I really have no idea.  But either way, I already confessed that many years ago, leaving out any names and such, of course.”      “Of course.  That’s another reason I retired.  Even though my team was technically created by a government, we still were essentially vigilantes, answerable to no one but ourselves.  You do that long enough, and eventually…”      “Power corrupts,” Blood Eagle said.  “Don’t I know it.  I’ve been part of both sides of that equation.  But we all do what we have to do to survive.”      “So, I heard Dark Hawk had something of an apprentice since he came out of retirement,” Strike Ninja said.      “That’s why he came out of retirement,” Ultimate Soldier of America said.  “Some kid calling himself Amazing Archer became active in Winnipeg, and I mean Dark Hawk still considered it his city, so he decided to show the kid the ropes.  He’s also the reason Dark Hawk went to fight the Caldore.”      “Yikes, please tell me the kid isn’t blaming himself for what happened then.”      “Wouldn’t you?  It takes a certain mindset to do what we do, and guilt is often a big part of that.  I gave him an invitation to this, but I doubt he’s going to show up.”      “Yeah, I probably wouldn’t in his position either.”      “He’s a good kid though, and a good fighter.  I think he’ll be okay.  It’s just going to take time.”      “Did he ever tell you about the first time he met us?” Mighty Muslim asked.      “No, I am unaware of how that happened,” Lobo said.      “Yeah, see we were put together as an experiment by our government,” Jewish Judge said.  “I’m sure you know about that.  And Dark Hawk decided to check out how we operated.”      “So, there we were on our first mission, dealing with some Scorpio Syndicate people, when all of a sudden he shows up,” Mighty Muslim said.  “Now we’d all heard his name before, but none of us had any idea what he looked like, so we thought he was one of them.”      “Yeah, so we attacked him,” Jewish Judge said.  “Three on one.  At least for about a half minute before Captain Catholic got taken out.  We were holding our own though, but eventually realized he was just fighting to keep us from hurting him, and he also was doing his best not to hurt us.”      “So then we stopped and had a conversation and realized we were all on the same side,” Mighty Muslim said.      “I understand superheroes fighting each other on first meeting is considered normal,” Lobo said.  “My first meeting with many of you was in combat.”      “To be fair, you were kind of made with the purpose of killing us,” Mighty Muslim said.      “Yes, I am glad I was able to overcome that bit of programming,” Lobo said.      “Same here,” Jewish Judge said.  “Even with twelve of us against the one of you, all we were managing to do was slow you down.”      “So there he was, completely naked, except for his mask, and he was just going on acting like everything was normal,” Dingo said.      “Wait, was that right before you were asking me if I was still seeing him?” Blood Eagle asked.      “I mean, dude was fine,” Dingo said.  “But we managed to find him a temporary replacement costume, and continue the mission.”      “And I thought the Scorpio Syndicate tried some ridiculous stuff.”      “To be fair to the Wild Dogs, they didn’t expect their formula to cause clothing to fall apart.  It was supposed to have the opposite effect, and make it super stiff and hard, in order to lock someone in place.”      “Yeah, that doesn’t make it any less ridiculous.”      “It’s been good seeing everyone again,” Lioness said.  “I just wish this wasn’t the reason, but I should be heading out.  I don’t want to miss my plane.”      “You take care of yourself,” Mighty Muslim said.  “I’ve been hearing a bit about the sort of things you’ve been up to lately.”      “It’s not like this job was ever safe.  And I’m not exactly comfortable retiring when there’s still so much work to be done.”      “We each do what we have to do.”      “Do you ever regret retiring though?”      “I mean, there were definitely good times mixed in with the bad, but there was too much bad.”      “The bad doesn’t disappear just because we ignore it,” Lioness said.      As the night continued to get later and later, a few more people had left, and the only people remaining were Lobo, Dingo, Blood Eagle, Strike Ninja, and Ultimate Soldier of America.      “I should probably be heading out pretty soon myself,” Dingo said as he checked his watch.  “My flight isn’t leaving until tomorrow, but it looks like it’s already tomorrow.”      “What about you, Lobo?” Strike Ninja asked.  “How’re you getting back to Antarctica?  For that matter, how did you get here?”      “You know, now that I think about it, even back when we were a group I never found out how you would travel to and from there,” Blood Eagle said.      “Strike Ninja had a friend named Taro that I met,” Lobo said.  “He built me a teleporter.”      “He built you a teleporter?” Strike Ninja asked.  “I knew he was smart, but that’s ridiculous.  He never built me a teleporter.”      “Can you go anywhere in the world with it?” Ultimate Soldier of America asked.      “No,” Lobo said.  “I have the one in Antartica, and one here in Winnipeg, and I can only travel between them.”      “That’s too bad,” Ultimate Soldier of America said.  “After I head out of here, I have some stuff to take care of in Seattle.  Would have been nice to get there a bit quicker.  What about you Strike Ninja?  Heading back to Japan?”      “Not right away,” Strike Ninja said.  “I was also friends with Dark Hawk in his civilian identity, so I’ll be sticking around for the funeral, and probably stay in town for a bit.  You sticking around too, Blood Eagle?”      “I don’t know if I should,” Blood Eagle said.  “I mean, Dark Hawk and I were friends, but you know how complicated our relationship was in our civilian identities.”      “I think you should,” Strike Ninja said.  “It’ll be good for you.  And I don’t think his kids will have a problem with it.”      “They are good kids,” Blood Eagle said.  “I mean, obviously.  They’re Dark Hawk’s kids, after all.  He was the best of us, and the world is poorer without him in it.”      “After my creator was killed, Dark Hawk told me something,” Lobo said.  “He said that as long as we remember someone, they are never truly gone.”

[zcxrinaa]

When I tell you I absolutely couldn't contain myself the moment he realized that he and Eiji were the same ndkshssjhsje

they really said "it's better to live life while imperfect and disgraceful than to die perfect and beautiful without ever really living at all."