#well tbh one of the reasons i never drew the other pieces yet is bc i hadn’t finished zelda or ganondorf’s designs when i drew this one

[daeyumi]

✨⭐️ Essence of Divinity 🌟✨💫

[Cycle of the Stars au]

[kuroimarzipan]

To return the ask I was unable to answer for you: I'd love to hear your Kingmaker thoughts! Or Wrath, if you'd prefer.

HELP I MISCLICKED BEFORE I WROTE ANYTHING AND HAD TO EDIT THE POST LMFAO anyway im gonna answer for kingmaker only tonight cause i gotta go to bed and i spent too long writing shit out but i might reblog this and add answers for wotr on after work tomorrow lol

Favorite Male Character okay so i could be normal about this. i could. or i could let everyone here know that i mentally put together multiple AUs where esteem got together with dragn after witnessing like three lines of dialogue. yea the smith guy. the one without a portrait even.

BUT if i had to be more normal about it then its gotta be ekun. i just want that guy to be happy and i really enjoy how weirdly well he gets along with esteem. also he's like. the most ruthless good character ive seen in a while which i really find interesting. makes a great minister too. he just has this reassuring presence in your party like hes got your back you dont have to worry. also: dogy :^)

Favorite Female Character

okay so i went into this game assuming kanerah would be my fave and i was like. ready to finally not have to headcanon a romance and shit. and then this bitch named valerie came along. and oh my god she's such a piece of work. so principled. so hypocritical. so abrasive and easy to rile up. she's loyal because she's decided to be loyal. she turns on you for wanting to kill a guy early in act 2 and then turns BACK on him because he hits on her. she doesnt even realise shes gay. ever since she killed fredero because esteem pushed her to do it ive been thinking about it. ive not read the dialogue for her canon straight romance or whatever because honestly i dont care whatever the fuck im doing to her in my head is way more interesting to me. ive done all the stuff for her hellknight ending and im very excited heehee.

Least Favorite Character

kingmaker is interesting in that i had a really poor first impression of a LOT of the companions, but after having gotten to know them, i... honestly dont rlly hate any of them?? there's still a few companions that end up benchwarming for me bc i just like others more, but its really not been like wotr where the party lineup was so polarising for me lmao

WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED JHOD. fuck that guy. i dont even have a particular actually good reason either. i just think his vibes are rancid

Favorite Ship

specifically that moment when hegend drew his weapon and went to attack valerie and the moment combat initiated esteem hit him with the chains of light which was followed by a maximised empowered magma blast from kanerah which one shot him. that felt good

aside from that i kinda wanna see amiri and nilak reconcile at some point??

Favorite Friendship

i like that ekun the complete and utter loner was the person that taught esteem how to actually have friends instead of just manipulating people into appreciating her. i like to think he figured that out by the time his last quest rolled around. they have this kinda silent trust.

Favorite Quote

this was such a good moment to me specifically because of the circumstances of esteem having been chased out of its home because of what it is and then having tartuk tell it that it would never understand?? it was COLD AS ICE telling him that before dealing the killing blow and taking his crown. defining moments tbh

Worst Character Death (if any)

i have a feeling this is yet to come for me 🙃

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment

maybe its silly but thee loyalty these two have hehehe

Saddest Moment

TBH another thing i think is yet to come for me.... i know that last act is gonna hit hard

Favorite Location

the swamp witch's hut... i actually really love the old beldame and all the lil storylines going on in that map so so much it rlly helped me solidify a bunch of important things abt esteem's backstory too lol

[goldenscript]

bffs to lovers!kino

literally the sweetest sunshine of a best friend that you could ever ask for

kang hyunggu, a dancing and music prodigy who can sing, dance, and rap,,, like who knew? well, ofc you did

you’ve known him long before he was accepted into his music academy and hit it off really well all over the place

he’s not signed or anything yet but he should be - actually, he wants to get his degree first before he focuses on all that stuff so on top of music he’s being extra studious

anyway hyunggu and you have been bff’s since you two were kids, you two were inseparable after being seated together and since then it’s just been you and him as two peas in a pod

as you two grew older,,, like into 5th grade and onward, you noticed his affiliation for music and how much he adored being able to sing and play instruments

the way he lit up at the sound of music was more than enough of a telltale sign that he was meant to play and perform

you just knew,, and you’re certain a part of him knew too

he just needed a push from someone

his parents couldn’t really give him the money to play piano or anything, so they weren’t an option

however, the music teachers at your school helped him raise funds because they saw so much potential in him like you and even though he said it wasn’t a big deal if he couldn’t get lessons, you knew it was

he did a bunch of yard work, house work, lots of side jobs that could help him fund that dream of his and he saved up A Lot

sometimes when he wasn’t looking you’d put in a few bucks of your own allowance to his little lessons fund too

instead of giving it to him directly because the last time you did he got really upset, you would give it to the teachers and made them promise not to say a word about it

so you continued to encourage him to keep pursuing his music despite how shy he was with any of it,,, like talent shows? nope. showcases? Heck no

your middle school music teacher begged you to convince him because to no avail the poor shy boy just couldn’t find the gets to get on that stage with other people watching him

you knew how much he wanted to perform and share music he had trapped in that little notebook of his and you just,,,

you made it a goal of yours to convince him

you wanted to give him that strength to do it not only by talking to him about all his anxieties so he’d feel lighter but also by showing up to every single practice

you would always stay up with him to listen to his latest piece and you even showed up to his first performance with a rose because you couldn’t afford a bouquet but he loved it

he really began to love music and performing and the idea of making it a career really dawned on him when he was contacted by a scout for a big arts academy

next to your support, he decided to take a music career path more seriously just to show his parents that instead of running a grocery store with them that he wanted to make music and write lyrics and sing and all that good stuff

they were pretty skeptical because practicality and tbh they actually hadn’t seen him perform

he was also so shy to mention it to them because it was always about the store with them so you told them about it and it was a later performance that would really seal his fate in the music world

he performs this song about growth and doing better things and it’s just so beautiful with his voice and the melody and he hit this gorgeous high note,,,, like he automatically got that scholarship

you and his parents were so proud,,, y’all even cheered the loudest and as embarrassed as eighth grader hyunggu was, he was so elated that you three were there

in the end, they decided to support him and his decision to accept the scholarship to the arts academy in the city and it dawns on the two of you what this meant

school of performing arts in seoul  (SOPA for short) meant bigger and way better things for him and you didn’t want that to be wasted just because he would be leaving

despite how visibly torn he was at first, you definitely talked him into going because you absolutely refused to be the reason why he didn’t follow his dream

so in those for years you exchanged a few words and saw each other in the beginning

sometimes you visited or he visited but a lot of the time you had to go there during his free time which began to get sparser and sparser as the school drew on

and eventually he just grew busier and busier to the point where visits didn’t happen anymore

you’d get a few texts every now and then - eventually those stopped too

at first, it hurt a lot to know that he couldn’t respond but you also understood that the workload there is vastly different from your average high school and if he wanted to keep a spot there then he needed to put 110% in

plus, over the years, his stuff was taking off - from performances to demos to even melodies because his producing was just as good as his singing and dancing which you actually had no clue about

at least until your old music teacher saw you volunteering at the middle school and watched some videos at you and you were just,,, in awe because he really became something amazing like you knew he would

you didn’t have any hard feelings over all - his parents often gave you updates about him since he did his best to send them some updates every now and then and it made you happy

you even enjoyed his music, often sending him a few encouraging messages even if they weren’t answered since he just needed to know you loved it too

your graduations fly by but by then the two of you have gotten new phones and numbers so you just hope he’s doing well

his mom tells you he is before you leave for uni and she even drops a few hints that he’s asked about you too so it makes you happy that he’s still thinking of you

she reacts a little funny when you tell her you’re going to seoul university but you brush it off since you were absolutely certain that hyunggu would wind up getting signed after high school but guess what??

you both wind up at the same university!!!!

you actually had no clue all that fall and winter quarter, only sparsely hearing about how knnovation was at the school but it slips your mind that this is kino aka your childhood friend hyunggu

until,,,,,

you’re both in music theory that spring!!!

he kinda ok really sucks LOL

it’s almost appalling how badly he’s doing in the class since he’s such a superstar in the underground music world but when you see him with his tufts of dark hair and the tip of his tongue at the corner of his mouth,,, you swear he looks familiar

you don’t really find out until a few weeks into the class that it’s him until the professors asks to see you and him after class

at that point where you finally get a good look at him and he gets a good look at you, you both recognize each other immediately

and you’re both like !!! “omg it’s you!!!”

the professor just laughs at you two and says “well it’s good thing you know each other!!” and he turns to you like “can you pls tutor him??”

hyunggu’s pretty sheepish about saying his grade but he looks at you pleadingly since you’re actually the top student in the class and you’re like “yeah ofc!!!”

so you both get reacquainted and shyly exchange info for studying

tbh this winds up being excuses to wander the city together and you attempting to explain certain concepts to him

he sorta gets it but he gets really distracted bc holy fuck you’re so cute and so sweet and he feels like crap for hardly messaging you back but you actually have no hard feelings and it makes him feel worse so you’re like !!! “ace the next quiz and i’ll forgive you”

and he gets really cutely determined and feels his heart singing like it did before he left you and in truth he kinda stopped responding to you bc he always got these weird fuzzies in his tummy and you consumed his mind a lot,,, it was really distracting

it wasn’t until he was older that he realized he really liked you and seeing you again reignited those feelings!!!!!!!

he invites u to his dance competitions and singing recitals and you go to like every single one with roses even tho he tells u not to but you’re like u never invited me to the ones in high school so i need to make up for lost time

and hearing that, makes him feel even more !!!!!!!!!

and anyway he winds up acing his exams with your help and his own determination to impress u

and in all that time of studying and getting reacquainted, you two have gotten so close, knowing each other’s lives like you were never separated,,, and he sees just amazing you are and how much it makes him never want to see you go

it also shows him just how much you’ve affected him because he’s reminded of those nights in high school where all he could about was you and how much he wanted to text you back and all that but he was scared

he heard horror stories about best friends falling out because one of them fell for the other and how drastically different things were

like even worse because it becomes painfully awkward and imagining a life like that with you?? hurt,,, a lot,,, so he just stayed away

he hoped the feelings would go away

and for a while they did but it was never enough for him to forget you or remember your phone number even when he’d get a new phone

each performance, he’d remember you there with a single rose and it’d always make him work harder

it was sort of his thank you to you for encouraging him and giving him strength to perform

one night you two are just hanging out watching some movies and you look over at him with this gorgeous twinkle in your eye and say, “i’m really glad that you’re in my life again, hyunggu”

and instead of responding, he kinda just leans in to kiss you but he’s about to pull back since ??? ‘@ me wyd!!!!’ 

but

tHEN

you kiss him

it’s really brief and quick but your lips are tingling and so are his

and when you pull away to say, “i’m really really really glad - god i’ve been dying to do that!” he gets so flustered and happy and he admits that he has too

of course, he’s a lil embarrassed that you did it first but he’s like “how abt a date then?”

you break out in a beautiful smile and agree before you cuddle in his arms and continue watching movies

just to really encapsulate your relationship with hyunggu, i just wanna say you two balance each other

he’s prone to overthinking and wondering if what he’s doing is ever good enough but you are always there to encourage and lend him some strength because you believe in him more than anyone in this entire world

and for you, you’re prone to overworking yourself because you want to have a good future and sometimes you tend to take on more than you can handle or you always strive for the best grade and sometimes you get so burnt out but then hyunggu’s there

he’s a sweet soul and he’ll always tell you to take it easy, sometimes taking you away from your desk just to have a break because those dark circles and your growling stomach are all telltale signs that You Need To Rest

he’ll even sing you a lullaby when you want to sleep but can’t and he can’t help but break out into a beautiful grin because you recognize it as a song he sang to you when you were in middle school

and he admits he wrote it for you

because next to giving him strength, you really motivated him to do better,,, you always have

him going to college wasn’t just something his parents suggested, but it was something that he knew even you would talk him into because of your value of education and working for something

he admits that you showed a lot and taught him a lot and it puts you in awe because even though he was really busy with his music,,, you were still on his mind

and honestly it makes you feel even more love for him because he’s truly a loving soul who only wants the best for people he cares about

it’s the night after finals when you’re exhausted and way too lazy to go anywhere but your dorm

he comes over and asks how they went and he laughs when you groan but open your arms up for his usual cuddles and as you both lay there, staring up at the ceiling for nothing in particular,,, you tell him,,,

“i love you”

it takes him by surprise because he’s thought of telling you and thought of the idea of loving you and it really struck him when it hits him that he really wouldn’t be where he was without you 

he tells you that and as you’re at a loss of words, he presses his lips to your forehead and hums that song of yours and says “i love you too”

[moiraineswife]

Stormlight Archive Theory: Chasmfiends Are Voidbringers/Thunderclasts

Okay I’ve had this theory forever, but I’ve never shared it before bc, well, this fandom is scary intimidating, and I’m probably wrong...But if I am, then that’s what I expected. But if I’m right and don’ have bragging rights I’ll be salty forever. 

As a note, I haven’t read any of the Oathbringer chapters, yet, and don’t intend to until I have this giant doorstop book in my hands. 

So, to business.... 

Physical similarities: 

 The eyes were deep red spots on the arrowhead face, as if created by a fire burning deep within the stone. They faded.

Even after all these centuries, seeing a thunderclast up close made Kalak shiver. The beast’s hand was as long as a man was tall. He’d been killed by hands like those before, and it hadn’t been pleasant.

In the prologue of TWOK, Kalak describes a thunderclast this way. Note the ‘arrowhead face’, the size comparison, and just the vague shape is roughly the same.  

The chasmfiend towered like a mountain of interlocking carapace the color of dark violet ink. Dalinar could see why the Parshendi called these things gods. It had a twisted, arrowhead-like face, with a mouth full of barbed mandibles. While it was vaguely crustacean, this was no bulky, placid chull. It had four wicked foreclaws set into broad shoulders, each claw the size of a horse, and a dozen smaller legs that clutched the side of the plateau.

When Dalinar and co are attacked by the chasmfiend during the hunt in TWOK, they describe it like this. The arrowhead-like face was what set me wandering down this path in the first place, because the phrase stuck in my head. But there are other physical similarities as well. This is fairly flimsy on its own but there’s more stuff.... 

Chasmfiend in stone - voidbringers emerging from the ground 

Parshendi gods - Elohkar ‘are you a god?’ desire to stop their gods taking hold 

The chasmfiends are supposed to be Parshendi gods, this is fairly commonly peppered through the books, but I like this quote for dramatic effect, and also irony: 

“Are you a god!” Elhokar bellowed.

Dalinar groaned, looking over his shoulder. The king had not fled. He strode toward the beast, hand to the side.

“I defy you, creature!” Elhokar screamed. “I claim your life! They will see their gods crushed, just as they will see their king dead at my feet! I defy you!”

Meanwhile, the parshendi don’t seem overly fond of their actual gods: 

“King Gavilar,” Eshonai said, as if mulling over the name. “He should not have revealed his plans to us that night. Poor fool. He did not know. He bragged, thinking we would welcome the return of our gods.” 

As we know, the parshendi killed Gavilar, and thus started the war...Which just so happens to involve both Parshendi and Alethi united in killing the chasmfiends. If the chasmfiends are, actually, Parshendi gods, and are also Voidbringers, this war is a pretty good way of getting shot of them all. 

I almost convinced him, she thought. It’s the red eyes. I’ve instilled in him, and some of the others of my own division, too much of a fear of our gods.

This is after Eshonai’s transformation to stormform, and one of the things that unnerves Thude is the red eyes. Right after that, Eshonai thinks of the fear she’s instilled in her division of their gods, which seems to imply that the reason Thude is unnerved by her red eyes, is because it reminds him of their gods. And part of the description of the thunderclast Kalak gives us in the prologue, is this:  The eyes were deep red spots on the arrowhead face, as if created by a fire burning deep within the stone.

“You spoke of the Parshendi,” Dalinar said. “This has to do with the red eyes?”

Rlain nodded.

“What does it mean, soldier?” Dalinar asked.

“It means our gods have returned,” Rlain whispered.

“Who are your gods?”

“They are the souls of those ancient. Those who gave of themselves to destroy.” A different rhythm to his words this time, slow and reverent. He looked up at Dalinar. “They hate you and your kind, sir. This new form they have given my people… it is something terrible. It will bring something terrible.”

 Eshonai feared stormform because of its connection to the gods, but once she was turned, she became determined to have everyone transform. She also then set about wanting to destroy the Alethi. On the surface, it seems like stormform makes her, and her kind, more powerful, and will simply help to end the war. However, if I’m right, and the chasmfiends are thunderclasts/voidbringers, and the Alethi and Parshendi were engaged in destroying them all, as they wanted, this new tactic will end the war, destroy the Alethi, but the byproduct of that is that the chasmfiends will stop being killed, and will be allowed to pupate on the plains. And also, the masses of stormform Parshendi will have the power to call forth an everstorm...And I think that’s significant because: 

Pupating Chasmfiends become Thunderclasts during an Everstorm: 

Parshendi transform during highstorms with the use of spren. If chasmfiends are Parshendi gods, I believe they have this ability as well. They have spren inside their gemhearts. However. They need an Everstorm in order to transform, which is why they need Parshendi in stormform in order to return, which is why the Parshendi feared the mass transformation to stormform, and why Eshonai knew it was wrong.

Our gods were born splinters of a soul,

Of one who seeks to take control,

Destroys all lands that he beholds, with spite.

 This sounds to me like spren tbh, and the spren that live within a chasmfiend unlock a parshendi’s stormform, as demonstrated by Eshonai. Rlain identifies this as proof of the Parshendi gods’ return. 

“They must have an interesting life cycle. They haunt these chasms, but I doubt they actually live here. There’s not enough food to support creatures of their size. That means they come here as part of some migratory pattern. They come here to pupate. Have you ever seen a juvenile? Before they form the chrysalis?”

“No,” Adolin said, scooting his chair around the table. “It often happens at night, and we don’t spot them until morning. They’re hard to see out there, colored like rock. 

 Shallan starts taking an interest in the Chasmfiends, and starts wondering about the chrysalises and the Chasmfiends life cycle. As every chasmfiend that pupates on the plains is killed by either Alethi, or Parshendi, no-one knows what the purpose of the pupating is, or what happens as a result of it. But I think what happens is the same as what happens to the Parshendi during a highstorm. I think they pupate, they wait for an Everstorm, and that causes them to transform into thunderclasts. 

He approached the rock mound at the center. It really was odd. Adolin circled it, noticing its shape, ridged in places, almost like…

“It’s a chasmfiend,” Adolin realized. He passed the face, a hollowed-out piece of stone that evoked the exact feeling of a chasmfiend’s head. A statue? No, it was too natural. A chasmfiend had died here centuries ago, and instead of being blown away, had slowly crusted over with crem.

 What if it wasn’t a dead chasmfiend, but a chasmfiend that successfully pupated, and was left alone to crust over with crem, and become part of the rocks of the shattered plains? This makes sense from a biological point. Pupating leaves the chasmfiends extremely vulnerable, but, as Shallan points out, they don’t have any natural predators. The shattered plains are desolate, and before the war began, presumably pretty damn empty. Which makes it a pretty good place for a giant monster to go, nestle down into a chrysalis and get slowly turned to stone, waiting for its transformation via Everstorm. It’d probably go untouched, protected, and preserved by crem, and then stone, for centuries. 

Thunderclasts, we know, rip themselves out of the ground, and are made of stone: 

The enormous stone beast lay on its side, riblike protrusions from its chest broken and cracked.

Less frequently, he passed cracked, oddly shaped hollows where thunderclasts had ripped themselves free of the stone to join the fray.

So, the chasmfiends pupate on the plains, undisturbed, slowly being turned to stone. The Everstorm comes, the spren in their gem hearts transform them, as the Parshendi do, which is why there are some physical similarities with the thunderclasts, but not exactly, because they haven’t transformed yet. 

Finally: 

Danlan set it aside, getting out a third sheet of paper. Dalinar held the drawing up, Adolin at his side. The nightmarish beast in the lines and shadows was faintly familiar. Like…

“It’s a chasmfiend,” Adolin said, pointing. “It’s distorted—far more menacing in the face and larger at the shoulders, and I don’t see its second set of foreclaws—but someone was obviously trying to draw one of them.”

“Yes,” Dalinar said, rubbing his chin.

“‘This is a depiction from one of the books here,’” Danlan read. “‘My new ward is quite skilled at drawing, and so I had her reproduce it for you. Tell me. Does it remind you of anything?’”

A new ward? Dalinar thought. It had been years since Jasnah had taken one. She always said she didn’t have the time. “This picture’s of a chasmfiend,” Dalinar said.

Danlan wrote the words. A moment later, the reply came. “‘The book describes this as a picture of a Voidbringer.’”

This identification of the chasmfiend as a Voidbringer, but with slightly different mistakes, both sounds like the thunderclast at the beginning of the book, but it also sounds like a chasmfiend slightly altered, as I theorised would happen if they transformed during the Everstorm like the Parshendi and became a thunderclast. 

‘Before you jump to conclusions,’” Danlan read, “‘I’m not implying that the Voidbringers were the same thing as chasmfiends. I believe that the ancient artist didn’t know what a Voidbringer looked like, and so she drew the most horrific thing she knew of.’”

But how did the original artist know what a chasmfiend looked like? Dalinar thought. We only just discovered the Shattered Plains—

But of course. Though the Unclaimed Hills were now empty, they had once been an inhabited kingdom. Someone in the past had known about chasmfiends, known them well enough to draw one and label it a Voidbringer.

 Jasnah theorises that the ancient artist didn’t actually draw a Voidbringer, because she didn’t know what it looked like, so she simply drew a chasmfiend, slightly altered, as the most awful thing she could think of. But what if she did draw a Voidbringer? What if the chasmfiends really are Voidbringers. I don’t know about you, but it just seems so very Brandon to literally have the answer right there staring us in the face from book one. 

Also, speaking of things that are very Brandon...I’m going to remind you that Shallan agreed that she would start taking steps to learn how to breed the chasmfiends and increase their numbers. And is actively trying to war against the parshendi, because she believes they are Voidbringers. The irony in this is just...It’s too much. She’s blaming the people who have tried to stop bringing these things back for centuries...While she actively works to increase the number of them. Imagine. 

TL;DR: Chasmfiends are Parshendi gods, Parshendi gods, not the Parshendi themselves, are Voidbringers. Chasmfiends transform during storms, like the Parshendi themselves, using the spren in their gem hearts. They pupate to prepare for the transformation, and use the Parshendi in stormform, which is strongly identified with their gods, to create an Everstorm, which is what starts their transformation from chasmfiend to Voidbringer. 

Have at it. 

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

1-100

…are you joking

no one on this earth wants to know that much about me 

you asked for it:

-

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

The intention is always more cereal than milk, and yet… it always ends up being the opposite. 

-

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

…as an Australian, NO

-

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

Heh, what DON’t I use? 

Receipts, assignments, old documents, letters, other books, string, anything i can lean it against and hold it open with, etc.

even the odd obliging cat’s paw for a few minutes

-

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

~I drink neither, I am boring like that~

-

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

Yeah, I’m aware of how fucking ridiculous I look when I smile, and my non-perfect teeth.

-

6: do you keep plants?

not currently, but I used to have sunflowers and such

7: do you name your plants?

not usually, which is odd bc i name literally everything else

-

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

~writing~

words are easy

have tried painting and drawing but i’m just so shithouse at it

-

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Y~E~S

all the time

-

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

All, depends on the day really.

-

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Well, a few years back for some reason some irl friends and I would randomly start singing the Narwhals Narwhals song, or reply ‘the dirt is gone!’ after anyone said ‘Bam!’

but recently? online? uhhhhhhh… well, i send shitty mouse-drawn-in-Paint pics to the ever-patient camiluna27 and she finds polite things to say about them… which is our little joke

-

12: what’s your favorite planet?

Like my favourite Sailor Scout, it’s Jupiter.

-

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

Our foster puppy is coming today

-

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

it wouldn’t matter what it looked like, we’d make it work even if our only furniture was a minifridge and a beanbag… sharing the chores, watching stupid shit at night, complaining or joking with each other, etc.

-

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

It takes 230 million years for our solar system to make a single orbit around the Milky Way.

-

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

Tuna Mornay (? never been sure how it’s spelled tbh)

-

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

BLUE

-

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

my brain is blanking, and yet last night i know i was recalling something really stupid…

-

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

Nah, i just shitpost my angst or delight onto this site… 

-

20: what’s your favourite eye color?

I have no preference for eye colour.

-

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

Oh, I got this shoulder bag thing from The Harry Potter Experience when it came to Australia… it’s half-covered in an ever-changing bunch of badges (keep losing and finding them/getting new ones). it’s been left in the sun, saturated, pelted with hail as i ran for cover, etc. 

-

22: are you a morning person?

I never used to be… but since the antidepressants, i’m finding mornings way easier.

-

23: what’s your favourite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

mess about on the computer, usually

video games or writing something, or chatting with people i can no longer see physically/it would be super expensive to meet irl

-

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

yeah, a few

-

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

???? who in the hell is breaking into enough places to have a top ten list?

-

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

Heh, I just have a handful of cheap-ass shoes I got from Big W a few years ago and I get cheap insert things to keep them alive. I randomly put on any pair i can find, whether they match the outfit or not… what other choice do you have with big lady feet and soft skin?

-

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Fruity

-

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunset. 

Sunrise means I’ve been awake too long and have Fucked Up ™

-

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

not to bring her up consistently, but camiluna27 literally drew fanart of one of my fanfics (the first ever??? holy shit) and I was so goddamn flattered I almost couldn’t believe it… someone liked my trash and DREW SOMETHING?

such talent. much love. so excite. wow.

-

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

Pfft, yeah, probably. 

-

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

Socks are good.

I am making a sock right now, in viking fashion, it looks ridiculous.

Sleep? In winter, sometimes.

MISMATCHED SOCKS WERE A GODDAMN FASHION STATEMENT AT SCHOOL HELL YEAH

-

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

Well there were two funny things.

the first one was this massive sleepover party, and the minute the lights went off with all these adolescents sardined on the floor (teens but like, everyone was just chilling nothing nsfw happening), the marshmallow war began

it’s 3am and people are being PELTED with the goddamn things in the dark it was chaos.

the other time, i’d gone to a party thing, put up a tent to stay over like the others and this other girl at the party i’d just befriended (along with her highly anxious friend i managed to calm down) was not sure how to get home and i’m like… stay in my tent i have space it’s chill

we’re sleeping in jeans bc that seemed like a good idea at the time (it was NOT)

everyone’s STARVING. like, no real FOOD was at this party (New Years party?) we had chips and softdrink and that was it… and i dunno if you know this, but no amount of like, chicken-flavoured chips will fill up the aching hollow in your stomach for Real Food

so we’re talking bc we’re awake, relative strangers who are starving together in a tent they’re intending to share the night in, and we get on to SUPERNATURAL

i loved the show still it wasn’t the disaster it became, yet… and she admits that the S1 episode with the Wendigo freaked her out… and i’m like, hah, yeah, glad we’re not in a tent with woods around, huh? bc i am an asshole… that was pretty much where we were

and around the same time, the free-roaming chickens on the property are slowly moving past and making satanic noises, freaking her out more so i changed the topic to calm things down… but then, later on (waaaaaaaaay too early in the morning bc some of us had to pee early and it was Effort™ ) i get back to the tent to find a Chicken. In. The Tent.

looking at me like *I* was being the asshole here for intruding on her rest.

the other chick-a-dee is sleeping and im thinking ‘well fuck she’ll freak if the chicken’s randomly there when she wakes… and i try to subtly get the chicken out, and if you know chickens… you can understand how i failed

it was hilarious, and disastrous. 

-

33: what’s your fave pastry?

don’t know, really

-

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

Oh! I still have them.

There’s two, one called (creatively) Teddy, who wore a yellow onesie the Parental Unit made for him. My fondest memory of him was this time in kindy where we took our teddies in bc it was ‘Teddy Bear Picnic Day’, and during naptime, the teachers took the teddies and hid them around the playground…

We had to find them when we woke up.

Teddy had one foot in the top of the fence and looked like he was trying to leave/escape… i told the Parental Unit this story a thousand times over the years, the poor bugger.

The other one was made for me, after Parental Unit had a dream i’d be a girl. Her name is Heidi (you know, after the song? ‘Heidi, Heidi, Heidi ho, the elephant walks oh so slow’), she’s a pink elephant in a tutu and lovely and she and ted are hella safe for now.

-

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I do like them, and when i get a special pen i use it for EVERYTHING, then flounder to find a basic pen when it runs dry

-

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

I don’t know, i’m not really feeling anything.

What’s that song that’s just 3 minutes of silence?

-

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

>.> Messy

When it’s clean, it’s Clean ™

But when it’s messy… >.>

-

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

*unfurls list*

people who stand in the way and block entire corridors to chat with someone and there’s a public bench RIGHT THERE

capitalism

i can’t remember any others right now but i know there’s LOTS… 

-

39: what colour do you wear the most?

Most of my outfits have black in them. We can pretend it’s slimming.

-

40: think of a piece of jewellery you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

I have a dragon ring, my estranged godmother bought it for me from this massive local market we once went to, back in like 2007/2008? 

I love it so much for some reason (not so much th godmother tbh, she’s a pain) and it’s mass-produced, but i love it… wear it almost everywhere

-

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

Out of the Black Land by Kerry Greenwood

-

42: do you have a favourite coffee shop? describe it!

~nope~

-

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

Well, I looked up at them on the way inside the other night and pointed them out to the Parental Unit. They’re pretty stunning here, without city lights to obscure them.

-

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

??????????????????? that’s a thing?

-

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

Perpetually, always. 

-

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

I can’t, you’ll punish me.

-

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

that mayonnaise-peas pizza thing i just saw, WHY

-

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

I feared the wild animals in the dark when i was locked outside, and also feared Huntsman Spiders.

Today? the spiders and anything in the dark can square the fuck up, and fight my fear of disappointing everyone/failing

-

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

used to, but the CD player in the car broke… so now i just use the ipod/itunes

-

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

…monster high dolls, hardy boys books, comic books

-

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh mind blank

-

52: what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

Cask of Amontillado and Joe Biden memes have been awesome

-

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

Rocky Horror? Good, interesting.

heathers? pulp fiction? no

beetlejuice? seemed a lot more exciting when i was little

-

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

our puppy

she’s learned the exact sad face to make when she wants someone to go outside and play ball

-

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

can’t think of anything overtly, honestly

unless you count ‘yeah i can use a swivel chair instead of a ladder’ and the inevitable falling through a bookcase

-

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

Honesty, Humour, Excitement and Communication/Connection, Creativity

When they energise, not drain

-

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

it has always been interesting, and it makes you feel dramatic… 

i can neither confirm nor deny…

-

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

no idea

-

59: what’s your favourite myth?

define myth

like ‘mermaids are a thing’, or ‘that time a god did _____’ or like, ‘swimming right after eating can give you stomach cramps’?

-

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

used to

-

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

uhhhhhhhh literally any fanfic i give as a gift, is stupid

i got two little plastic dicks as a joke gift from someone as a secret santa thing (another time i got a $2 piece of trash bag thing the size of my hand that broke the second i touched it, and i was rather upset)

-

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

no, but my fave juice is apple blackcurrant or tropical

-

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

well, depends, i try to keep the series together and stuff, but mostly it’s ‘if it fits, it sits’ in the bookshelf

-

64: what colour is the sky where you are right now?

obscenely blue, like, you’d think it was computer generated blue

-

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

Yeah

-

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

…something with blue flowers, but let’s be real, the chance to wear a flower crown would be amazing even if they were all corpse flowers

-

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

they are otherworldy and beautiful, they have a different energy to sunny days 

-

68: what’s winter like where you live?

Cold. Stubbornly wearing shorts and tank tops claiming you’re not cold. putting four layers on the bed bc what. the. FUCK.

-

69: what are your favourite board games?

Cluedo, Monopoly

-

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

Nah, that seems like a terrible idea. I refuse to be That White Girl™ who invites demons in…

-

71: what’s your favourite kind of tea?

Mortali-tea

Nah, none, i don’t drink tea or coffee, i am BORING. 

I am the Beige of people, beverage-wise.

-

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

Sometimes. Esp. recently, I find noting it down helps, but usually I remember more than i assume i will.

-

73: what are some of your worst habits?

Lazy/procrastinate, eats stupid shit I SHOULD NOT BC I AM FAT AS FUCK, overthinks, boring.

-

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

amazingly talented, fun, incredibly aesthetically pleasing, open, understanding, brilliant and a pleasure to interact with.

-

75: tell us about your pets!

Okay, so we have four cats and a doggo.

The two oldest cats are sisters, aged 11; very loving but also tiny murder machines so they’re inside mostly.

Two youngest half-siblings, aged 7; one is the perpetual kitten who loves affection, the other is a slinky boi who comes to you if he wants love, and not before (adores my sibling tho, their bond is strong).

Doggo is the baby, she’s 3 i think? Always energetic.

+ a foster puppy we just got today, just now, and she’s fuckin’ adorable but like, a massive ball of energy.

-

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

cleaning

-

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

PINK hell yeah

-

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

HATE

i will fight ALL of them to the DEATH

-

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

Listened to me complaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain

Also drew me art for no reason i mean, c’mon that’s so cute

-

80: what colour are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Light blue, yep. loved it, and also it went with the underwater theme the family did

-

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

Amazing as orbs go.

-

82: are/were you good in school?

generally, shit at chemistry though (but then, if an entire class fails an exam, you don’t ask the students whose fault it is)

-

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

uhhhh not sure

-

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

maybe dunno

-

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

my dude, so many.

Batman, Nightwing, Wonder Woman, Teen Titans, The Titans, ElfQuest, Avengers, New Avengers, Saga, Hawkeye, uhhhhhhhhh, like, i have HEAPS...

-

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

i have no idea what that is

-

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

St Trinians, love that movie...

AVATAR

-

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

...good question, i have no idea what you’re asking

-

89: are you close to your parents?

The Parental Unit literally knows every facet of my being bc i can discuss anything with them. Even if we clash on ideologies or whatevs.

The Other One’s a violent stalker, so no, not that one.

-

90: talk about your one of you favourite cities.

I have been to like, Brisbane and Sydney... not a huge pool of cities to compare from. Uh, I like that there are so many comic book shops in brisbane tbh...

-

91: where do you plan on travelling this year?

Probs Brisbane.

-

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

Depends on the type of pasta, really.

-

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

Plaits. Keeps it out of the way.

-

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Sibling. I went all out with their gifts and am barely making it to monday... but it was worth it.

-

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

>get foster puppy

>chill/be boring bc you are the human equivalent of the colour beige

-

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

Procrastinate, mostly. ‘Restart required’ lol nope, you can wait...

-

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

ENTP, Gemini, Gryffindor

-

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

oh god no. Grade 9 they had this youth action program... sent us orienteering in the bush... up a mountain, down a moutain, through the fucking lantana six times because the boys in the class have the map and can’t fucking read it right but ‘girls can’t read maps so why would we give it to you’...

it was a goddamn disaster, but we survived. hated it, so much

-

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

Sia’s ‘The Greatest’, ‘Move Your Body’ and ‘Unstoppable’

‘This is Gospel’,  ‘Emperor’s New Clothes’, ‘Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time’, and ‘Golden Days’ by Panic! at the Disco

‘Never Coming Back to Earth’ by Steve Aoki & Fall Out Boy

Most of the songs by Lindsey Stirling

‘Heroes’ by Generdyn

‘I Hope You Die In A Fire’

‘Wait For It’ and ‘History Has Its Eyes On You’ from HAMILTON

‘Assassin, Murder, Monster’ and ‘Chase the Morning’ from REPO! the Genetic Opera

‘The Beauty Underneath’ from Love Never Dies

-

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

I’d slam both at once and launch myself into a temporal paradox so i simultaneously never existed and also always existed therefore becoming a GOD...

[uniformbravo]

ok so. my day today

basically i spent a long fucking time today trying to Finally get off my ass and scan my traditional drawings so i can post them to my art blog, because like i have been drawing but these days the vast majority of my art is traditional sketches that im too lazy to scan so my art blog never gets updated and i rly want to work on that (i stg some of this shit is literally so old it’s from 2016 but whateverrrrr)

mostly the reason im finally doing this is that i don’t wanna wait too long to post my mp100 shit bc i’ve been drawing a Fucking Lot of that so i have enough to make a few posts now and i wanna get them uploaded while they’re still fresh, u know. the thing is since i was gonna scan those pages i decided it’d be a fun neat idea to scan the entire rest of the sketchbook bc Why Not

well i’ll tell u Why Not, there are several reasons Why Not:

it takes 12 yrs to scan everything because not only are there a shitload of pages but also the sketchbook is too big for the scanner so i have to do some pages 4 times to get all the edges and it’s horrible and bad, legitimately i was standing there for over an hour scanning this book, i put on an hr long video in the bg and got all the way through it and i Still wasn’t done

On Top Of That the scanner is kind of fucking garbage, as scanners are, so i have to take each image into photoshop to edit so they dont look entirely like trash (they still look kind of trashy anyway)

then for the multiple scan pages i have to patch them together so the images are complete / not blurry

then i have to collage all the drawings i want together because a lot of pages are either incomplete or only have like 1 thing i want to show on them so i spend like 100 years trying to arrange everything semi-nicely so that it’s, like, even slightly presentable, Maybe (idk i think the compilations tend to feel really cluttered tbh but Whatever it’s my STYLE), and also i have to take into account tumblr’s formatting so i usually have to make everything fit on a canvas either 540px or 1080px wide (this is even worse for pixel art bc it needs to be exactly 540px to look nice but i digress, we are talking about traditional art here)

so uh yeah that’s my process and Boy is it a Fucking Process

i think im complaining more rn because i have like a year’s worth of sketches im trying to deal with here, like. good god. i spent maybe two and a half hours working on this today (after the first hour of scanning things, just the scanning) and i did not get even halfway through the scans, and that’s just for the photo-editing stage, i haven’t even started putting together the compilations yet

god and like the Other Fucking Piece Of Shit Thing My Scanner Does is it tries to do this Smart Technology Bullshit and decide for itself where the paper ends instead of looking at, like, the actual paper’s boundaries, so even if i line everything up perfectly, a small part of the image fucking always gets cut off and if i were a stronger person i would engage in the full process of scanning the images, taking the flash drive back to my laptop, opening each image one by one to figure out which ones got cut off, going back to the scanner and re-scanning the pages and just repeating the process over and over until everything is in order but as it stands i do not have eighty-five thousand fucking years on my hands nor even a fraction of the mental capacity required to pull that off so we are just going 2 sit down & deal with some cropped images like mature adults

(tbh with all the cons of scanning the art, and there are a Lot of cons, i feel like it would probably make more sense to just take pictures using a camera instead, but on the other hand do not get me started on lighting, focus, unsteady hands, sifting through millions of copies of the same photo trying to determine which one came out the clearest, retaking photos that didn’t work out, back aching from being hunched over the paper for so long trying to get the perfect straight-down angle w/o casting any shadow, etc etc etc)

im just??? honestly, typing all of this out is making me sit back and think why?? why am i even doing this. this is so much goddamn effort for shit that probably won’t get very much attention, which is fine and all but god. jesus christ. im really putting myself through some shit for this

in any case i think i’ll probably be posting some of the more recent stuff first, like all the mp100 shit because like i said i want to post it while it’s still fresh and if i work on this whole project in chronological order u probably won’t see the things i drew this week until like next year hgkdslkdgn

[ask-jungshook]

BEGIN!AU Masterlist & FAQ

Disclaimer: This post is a work in progress so a lot of changes will be made in the future! (I’ll link it in my header for easy access)

Links

Prologue Series

Part 1: Descent | | Part 2: Static | | Part 3: Rebirth

Reflection Series

Snowdrop : J-Hope  | Lilac : Yoongi | tbd

Other (Misc pieces)

BEGIN!AU tag

General

Q: What is BEGIN!AU?

A: It’s an AU that I created that is loosely based off of my interpretations the MVs (aka I have no clue what’s going on, so it’s kinda vague on purpose right now) Hopefully I will be expanding the world within it as time goes on though! As of now, it’s going to focus mainly on Jungkook and all the excerpts posted are written from his POV. I’m still working on fleshing out everything, so please bear with me.

I’m hoping that there will be several parts? But as of now, I currently have the Prologue Series and the what will be the Reflection Series (this is a work in progress– idk if I’m gonna keep that name, so it’s a placeholder for now lol) Both are based off of Jungkook’s memories. The Prologue is more or less a teaser to the actual storyline, whereas the Reflection Series will just be short snippets of his thoughts of each of the members (So there will be 6 parts total – I was originally going to release each portion on the member’s birthdays, but some are too clumped so I might be releasing them in random blocks of time lol J-Hope and Suga’s should be released on time of their bday though!)

Q: Can I ask questions to Begin!JK?

A: Depending on the nature of the asks, I will be either answering them within this AU or just do a non-AU. (It honestly depends on the question) But if you’re an askblog and want to do an AU crossover, I AM SO DOWN FOR A COLLAB. (it can be in this AU or a different one too!) I’m also working on several solo pieces that will pertain to this AU, but that’s like for the way future!

Q: Can I drew fanart for this AU?

A: JDGHSKGJHLG Sure! Just keep in mind that I haven’t determined what is ‘canon’ and what isn’t in this AU yet when it comes to fic writing, so idk how much you guys have to work with since everything is like ‘what is going on right now’ lol If anything you can say it was inspiration from my AU and that it’s your own interpretation of it since it’s not really based off it??? Idkman lol bc tbh I don’t even know what’s going on with my AU LOL However once my AU is more developed which won’t be for awhile, all I ask is that you credit me somewhere if it specifically relates to my AU & its plot! :) Also feel free to tag me if you post on tumblr! I would love to see the finished pieces! :’D

Also, kinda related but not really: please note that I do not allow for any of my works to be reposted, altered, or edited on any social media outside of this tumblr account as stated in my general FAQ. (I got an ask regarding this, but I’ll post my reply later bc it’s long and it’s kinda a topic I’ve been struggling a lot with as an artist)

Theme & Interpretation

My interpretation of the AU, as mentioned before is loosely based off the MVs taken with artistic freedom. (Well less about the plot of the MVs, and more about the overall meaning of them) The main theme of this AU relates to the ‘loss of innocence’ or simply ‘growing up’ in layman’s terms . (This is especially alluded to in the most recent MV of “Spring Day’ where they made a reference to Omelas) Healing and mending wounds is also a underlying theme as well.

I want to to explore the areas of self discovery, self forgiveness, and self understanding. The Jungkook in this AU based off the prologue, is still struggling to accept the present and unwilling to leave the past behind. He’s struggling in the sense that he can’t let go of the past and those memories haunt him. While he does realize that the world is not kind, nor is it fair, he has a hard time accepting it, which is why he constantly wishes for things to return back to the way they were – back to happier days.

The whole entire prologue series is basically him battling against his conscience, contemplating on the ‘what ifs’ of moments in his past when he knows that there’s nothing he can do to change them.  However at the last panel of the prologue series, you might notice that I drew him smiling compared to the panel right before where he’s just looking at the viewer– this was done for a reason.

I released the last part of the series right before the You Never Walk Alone album dropped, so I was honestly hoping that the image I had in mind would link it some way to the new songs AND GOD BLESS IT DID. There is a line in the supplemental story that said ‘But we can smile if we’re together’ and I was like YES GOOD JOB PAST DISSU U MADE A CORRECT DECISION OF WHERE UR TAKING UR AU BEFORE THE SONG CAME OUT LMFAO but that line of the song basically echos the sentiment that I was trying to portray in that last panel. So yes, the prologue series can be very angsty, but at the same time I wanted it to end with a message of hope at the end. There’s are a bunch of random easter eggs from when I was putting the whole series together, so if you have a question behind any of the panels or lines, feel free to ask! :D

Prologue Fun Facts

- The quotes following each part are all excerpts taken from Demian. I tried making them somewhat relate to the different parts, but one of the reasons I chose them was because they stood out to me– they also tie to common theme of growing up and accepting yourself. 

- Almost all the scenes from P2 & P3 are in reference to the MVs, namely Run, I NEED U, Prologue, & Young Forever (props if you can recognize which MVs are from which panels lol)

- Some phrases in the lines used are a nod to some song titles as well! :)

Reflection Fun Facts

- Keep an eye out for flowers meanings! 

[celestialallstars]

Episode #9: “Beggars can't be choosers and I'm already on my knees” - Jack

Ok well never mind Drew just got booted which NOBODY TOLD ME ABOUT??? Like if Matt had gone it'd have been one thing because I would've heard at least the name of the person who actually went, people might've been honest for once. But noooooooo let's create this Drew concoction and once again leave Jack out of a vote! I mean, would I have voted Drew out? I don't know, probably not. But still it's the principle. Was I kept safe? Yes, but another ally and former Cyrena left. My numbers keep dwindling and I am scraping the bottom of the barrel here.

So this round I want Mitch gone. I don't trust him too much, as I know he isn't as close to Bryce as I am. Which scares me cause Bryce is my ally right now. I know me and Mitch are in this 8 person alliance, but that shit means NOTHING to me. As I never said i wanted to be in it. So Ya FUCK THAT. Time for me to push mitch this round.

Drew is out but I decided to be honest about it with Michael. Ill talk with Chloe today and try and do some chatting with Jack too but beside that I usve hope for a few tribals wooo! Or maybe its time to die, we'll see ha

I’m already over this game and it’s final fucking 12. I shouldn’t have played I should’ve just hosted this is all my worst orgs on fucking steroids because everyone’s too busy fetishizing this anti-Cyrena agenda. I don’t care if it’s not a thing, there’s no reason to target Matt and I and leave us out of votes when we have 0 agency and are literally 2 votes up for grabs. But nobody gives a flying fuck about logical gameplay and like fine, be a moron, and have fun getting blindsided at 9th when all the easy votes are gone and you were too busy standing around with your dick in your hand to put yourself in a better position. Fuck this season and fuck this cast

Today's to do list:

Call Jared Yell at Jared Tell Jared he's not beating his Wakea placement Hang up Win immunity Cry myself to sleep

________________________________________________________________

"yikes, you’ve been shot!" is a common theme for me this season

Watching the immunity was pretty telling I'd say, as random as it was. Having it said, it's been down to Loris, Zach, and Bryce for hours now. THE smart thing is to give Bryce immunity and up his threat level, but alas we gotta get a  show out of it lol.

So uh.... forget everything I said about Jared I guess because he wants to work with me? Lmao. Idk man like, can I really trust anyone besides Michael and Matt at this point? Not really, but Jared is the ONLY other person to legitimately give me a lifeline here (I don't count Mitch/Chris or any of the BS Zach/Bryce are giving me) so I have to take it, find some footing, figure out if I can actually get through this early merge here. I'm keeping my head down unlike my past games and I'm letting the game come to me. Beggars can't be choosers and I'm already on my knees

I FOUND AN IDOL!! I cant say I thought this would happen but I am so happy that it did! I just hope I can do right by this immunity idol! I got help out of Stephen so I am just so thankful for that!!

________________________________________________________________

So I have this feeling things are not going to go the way I wish so. Rhys is gathering troops to get Mitch out and he's already gone to Bryce who told me and Zach, and Jared. How does he have numbers? BECAUSE HE HAS FLIPPED. We might as well should've had Kori in the chats because both have said the same thing as far as contributions go

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Now I am in a pickle, not knowing if Jared/Bryce/Zach all want to flip after they wnet on a call together. Its a little concerning not gonna lie. What makes this worse is that like we are putting ourselves in a position where we HAVE to do play certain way. I dont want to be 6-5 I want to have cushion and Rhys is doing exactly what I figured he would be doing just early. I need to figure out exactly how willing the others are for this before its too late

So last tribal was a little bit of a rough one and the day after wasn’t too great either I just felt drained the entire day but I didn’t sign up for all stars to lose after being blindsided I came to win and I need to do whatever I can to get that fighting spirit back. I’m not out of this yet and hopefully the relationships I’ve built plus the killshot results mean that we can get a nice little blindside going.

What’s the German word for when people ask you if you’ve heard anything about the vote knowing full well you haven’t been privy to any information all merge?

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Bryce telling me Mitch’s name??? 8.5 hours before tribal??? You really do love to see it. Michael told me Jared told him Mitch as well, so I’ll probably hear from Jared soon. This is beautiful stuff I could give less of a fuck about Mitch going. Everything’s coming up Millhouse!

These bitches are conspiring against me.

So, Rhys has been feeling antsy and decided he wants to flip on our 8. Tbh it's probably a smart move for him since he's the least incorporated of the 8 and would likely get 8th if my understanding of the situation is anything to go by. Soooo I can't exactly blame him, but, that's not all.

Bryce is ALSO wanting to flip. It seems so early for a well-connected member of the alliance to want to do something like that, so I imagine it's because he wants to play the middle between this group and the 4 outside of it. Rhys and Bryce may have leaked the alliance already, and, if they did that, then they also probably leaked how everyone was pretending Matt was the target at the last vote.

This group seems to be planning to vote Mitch out tonight, which isssssss bad. Very bad. Especially bad for me since he is one of my closest allies.

Chris found an idol, though, and I'm really hoping we can save it for late-game. There's still a chance this vote can turn around though. That's what I'm hoping for.

IM BEING DUMB IDK WHAT TO DO UGH I WANT MITCH OUT HTIS ISNT SMART THIS ISNT LIKE ITS NOT I KNOW THAT BUT IM DOING IT ANYWAY THIS IS A MISTAKE I KNOW IT IS JFAKDHK BUT IDK HOW TO PLAY THIS GAME BC I THINK PPL SAY IM A THREAT AND I CAN ONLY PLAY UTR SNAKE NOT THIS WHOLE KUMBAYAH THING PPL GOT GOING ON

hi. so . after I almost win immunity after it was given to bryce when hes  already won immunity in another social challenge, now bryce  wants to vote mitch because ‘he Doesn’t like him’. I don’t know who the votes going to be and I rlly like Mitch so like I’m gonna pray and try to make sure it’s not him :( Fuck bryce

Okay... so. This round has been quite a lot, and I am going to try to explain it piece by piece because I have probably played more game in this round than I have the rest of the game combined.

Rhys told me that he wants to flip, and then Bryce told me that Zach also wants to flip (along with himself) against Mitch. I did not want to deal so I went to sleep.

I called Zach the same night and tried to gauge how much trust he has in me by admitting that Rhys wants to flip, and seeing how he would react towards me. He played very coy which is very... Zach.

Bryce told me that he went to Chris about flipping and that Chris shut it down, so I quickly went and leaked to Chris and showed my disinterest in flipping. I made a plan to call Zach and Bryce and try to convince them that this was the wrong move. (Keep in mind this was all the same night, after the immunity results.) I thought I made up some ground and pointed them in the direction of targeting Michael, but I would soon realize that they were just placating me. The call ended with Zach saying that he wanted to get Stephen's thoughts in the morning.

Come the morning, I hatch this crackhead plan to get Mitch the merge idol. According to Stephen from the night before, we were only 11 steps away from the end of the bridge. At 9 AM Bryce quickly searches and says "IT APPEARS WHATEVER WAS ONCE HERE IS GONE AHHH" (I was using my 3 person alliance to get myself or Bryce the idol, not knowing that I would regret doing that.) Being that Bryce said the exact line as if something were missing, I thought there were a couple possible scenarios: 1. He straight up lied. 2. Stephen actually got to the end of the bridge the night before. 3. The night before after everyone had guessed, Bryce took the numbers to a 3rd party (Zach) so they could get the idol.

So that plan was dead. I then considered, "what if I give Mitch my idol?" I quickly realized I would probably regret that in a few rounds.

I spent the rest of today formulating a plan to position myself in everyone's good graces no matter what the outcome of the vote is. I told Rhys I would help him recruit the minority to vote Mitch. I messaged all of them about the vote, and then I came clean with Chloe on call saying that "even though the vote is Mitch, we should be aware that it aligns with Bryce and Zach's agenda and they threw your name." I then communicated to Chris, Loris, and Stephen what Rhys said and my distaste for flipping.

You may wonder where the sudden distrust for Bryce came from. Well, Chris told me that Loris said "Bryce had this planned before immunity (voting for Mitch)." I'm thinking Bryce probably just used me to get to Zach but still wants us to be the F3. My interests don't seem to be aligning with theirs.

With that being said I will likely be voting for Mitch tonight. RIP to the brodie, you deserved better. I will try my best to put off using my challenge advantage and my idol for as long as possible, and I will be trying to play both sides between the Zach/Bryce duo and Chris.

So I’m finally in danger of going (love that). I’m praying someone doesn’t have an idol because I feel like the rehidden one has been found. It’s between me and matt but if I stay which I think is likely, I have to do a better job communicating. I think that’s what got me in this position in the first place. If this is my last confessional I really hope jared Stephen or Chris wins. They are all playing solid games and I will be cheering them on from the sideline

jared thinks hes so funny calling zach but not me like. all i demand from allies is complete loyalty and that they talk to no one else. is that asking too much???

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Mitch is voted out 6-5-1. He becomes the 1st member of our jury!

Watch his exit interview below:

[inkuisitivskins]

11-20!!

Fanfiction Questions

11. Who is your current OTP?

Livmiles haha, it has been for like four years now x’D

I just love their chemistry so much, and their actual characters just fit so well together? Miles is like this mutt of several different races and despite being only a quarter Ishvalan he looks full-blooded, and then you have Olivier who is like this pedigree, rich Amestrian and they’re both just so wonderful and sweet. They both destroy stereotypes people have about them in their own ways (Olivier being a rich and floofy, pretty Armstrong lady who ends up being three ranks below fuhrer and Miles, who has every reason to despise the military and Amestris like Scar, but decides to take a more civilized route to change people’s minds). If you think about it, their dynamic is kinda similar to Royai in a way because it’s suppressed bc of military fraternization laws, and its officer x adjutant/assistant, so hehe

(Royai is my second favorite btw uwu)

12. Who is your current OT3?

ok so…………………

my friend and I joke about Livmiles + Roy because Roy jokes about shit like that to Olivier when she’s in Central, asking her out to dinner and then saying “why don’t we just skip dinner, then” like WHAT DOES THAT IMPLY HMM

and Roy and Olivier are just so fucking funny anyway bc I can imagine him just saying shit because he knows it’ll make her all mad haha

Don’t take it seriously though, it’s very crack-y xD

13. Any NoTPs?

Uhh I’m pretty open to most ships, save for obviously problematic ones? Like I don’t get triggered by anything and I’m very thankful for that, but I really just don’t like things like Royed or Elricest? For obvious reasons.

Other than that, Kimblee x Miles, because that’s literally so toxic like… please tell me why you think this? Kimblee is (a very very very well-written villain tbh) a literal psychopathic, xenophobic, racist killer. Why would Miles fall for someone that evil and that hellbent on killing basically Miles’s own race? (ignoring that he’s only a quarter for just a sec)

Like their ideals just clash literally as much as possible, I just…… i dont understand lol

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

Idk if I have a lot of BroTPs? As you may know (once again, especially with my Livmiles content) I’m very big on strong emotional connections in character relationships so while I love a lot of the friendships I see in shows, I never really consider them BroTPs specifically? I like EdLing (and I’ve seen some cute fanart that makes me kinda on the edge of shipping it even tho I like EdWin as well) as a BroTP, and I haven’t seen anyone ship is specifically, but Scar/Miles would be a nice one too since they have a lot of common things to become good friends over, you know?

I’m trying to think of things other than in FMA but I’m having a difficult time rn haha, this is my main fandom so it’s easier for me to find things in this one

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

… is Livmiles obscure haha

it’s definitely a rarepair for sure, idk if it would technically be obscure tho

16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

Not really? I know there’s a side of the fandom where Royed is very popular but I honestly don’t know a ton of the people from that fandom? Our paths just don’t really cross much. Other than that, nothing I really dislike is very popular

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Technically Royai (even since I watched 2003) but they’re still up there. Livmiles is my favorite now tho, obviously haha

18. What ship have you written the most about?

lol livmiles…….

The Northern Theatre is on chapter 10 and still going very strong, other than that, everything else is just drabbles. I for sure have one more short Livmiles fic I’m planning, someone requested a Valentine’s day one based off the art I drew, and then whatever other drabbles or prompts I’ll get in the future. 

I eventually want to write Royai but I need to get a grasp on their characters first + Livmiles, I imagine, I will still have more fics about

19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

I like EdWin but I just don’t feel as strongly about it as I do others, like I more readily ship AlMei than it. Though don’t get me wrong, it’s still super cute tho uwu

I’m sure if I wrote something for them I’d get to a point where I like it even more, i’m just not to that yet. 

20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?

Kinda Livmiles? The thought never even occurred to me until I saw one piece of fanart like four or five years ago heh

Thank you very much for the ask!!

[xavierscos]

Not depicted: Any side characters for stories (example: Alejandro’s family, Traci’s family, Garrett’s old bff, Oscar’s pals) bc they don’t get any development, any fandom ocs (so, warrior cats and gem ocs), and co-owned ocs (Mattie+Mako’s kids, Sikey+Grey’s kids, and Ziker+Grey’s kids)

Here’s a small blurb about each one but if u want 2 kno more abt any of em, hmu! I love talking abt my ocs :”) ((not all at once tho u gotta specify who u wanna hear more abt))

Sikey – My oldest and FAVORITE oc! She’s the most developed tbh. She’s married to Grey (Moe’s OC); her age depends on the artwork (because sometimes I’ll draw stuff abt her from her past or even like future au’s so yeah. Typically in the late 20s – early 30s age).

Ziker – He was actually originally Sikey’s “”genderbender”” (yikes lmao). But his personality was like 10x more different and I decided “hey u kno what. He’s his own guy”. He’s a trans boy whose two years older than Sikey, and he’s married to Grey’s brother Gery (Moe’s OC).

Carrie – Sikey + Ziker’s mom! She got out of an abusive relationship after Sikey was born (like, a year or so after. The boyfriend abandoned her + her kids) but she’s been a HELLA RAD mom. She moved from Italy when Sikey/Ziker were around 2-3 and 4-5 (trying 2 give her kids enough time to learn English as well as Italian). Never really hooked up with anyone else but in a certain verse/au monster version of carrie ends up dating alejandro’s mom, Rosita ! idk if it’s the same for human verse (which, probably is I mean. They all have human versions idk why I drew alejandro/garrett/traci and banner/Oscar/Vicky/Adelaide as their monster/anthro uehguh versions when htye have canon human designs and actually kinda take place verse??? Idk I guess its bc I introduced alejandro/garrett/traci as those designs). She’s in her 40’s-50s depending on sikey’s age

Mac – another old oc! He’s mute and really friendly and loves jokes. Mainly sex jokes. Fucking shameful boy. Age typically in late teens, like 18+

Rachel – yet another old oc! She was actually just sikey’s friend and mac’s friend but ive changed it now so that Rachel is mac’s older sister! She’s around the same age as sikey

Opal – she has vitiligo and DID. She’s nicky’s bff and she’s not exactly that developed : (….she does have cameos w/ Nicky in a few of my works such as FNJB. Like I said not much of her is developed! Idk how many alters she has but 2 of them include a nervous jittery boy in his teens, paranoid of work and shit; another is an aspiring actress and loves being dramatic for literally no reason. Stubs her toe? Flings herself onto the table and wails a monologue.

Nicky – asHFDUF I had a lot of stuff abt them but I forgot bc I never wrote it down so they’re still in rough development. They’re a few years younger than opal, and agender. They also may either have autism or OCD (or both). I do know they like to collect items such as shells and caps and shit, and they associate specific moods + feelings with said items so if they’re feeling a certain way towards someone they give them the items

Mattie – another old oc asufdshf. He’s one of the most developed and he’s a BASIC BITCH I hate him. Ugh. Fucker. He’s boyfriends w/ Moe’s oc Mako and they have like 80 kids pls chill n slow tf down

Atticus – mattie’s bff. He’s bi and chill and a BIG BARA BOY. Trying 2 hook up n date moe’s oc alec. Cuties…. He used 2 have a giant crush on mattie but its passing now bc hey matties in love w mako (they’re.. pretty close 2 getting engaged I mean,,)

Sandra – another friend of matties squad! She’s like, the mom figure and codie’s girlfriend. She also has a younger brother ronny whose a PIECE OF SHIT its unbelievable they’re related. I love sandra

Codie – super chill trans gal. she loves to lounge around and helps Sandra babysit sometimes; she has an odd love for board games. What the heckie. Also dyes her hair pink bc. Pretty. Also she has a younger brother named tye whose the youngest of the squad

Reese – a new oc! He’s p chill. Screen gets stabbed by todd and bb keeps almost getting him killed. Let this kid rest he’s so tired.

Todd – FUCKING. MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!! He has a chest mouth and HES MEAN.

BB – a little SHIT BAG. Literally a walking and talking tablet who makes sexual innuendos and jokes abt porn. Fucking . aisdfudfsd

Adrien – adventurous trans boy made of slime! Said slime is flavored chocolate strawberries. He likes to go on adventures and has ,, cat ears + tail made of a more gummy material idk. anyways he likes to adventure and calls his grappling hook his baby

Tally – a sweet goirl. Probably trans I haven’t developed her a whole lot either. Used 2 date Sparta but they broke if off bc “eh we’re better as friends”. Makes a few cameos in other works such as FNJB. Bffs w Sparta and emmelie (chey’s oc)

Sparta – originally a tiger kid but, eh. Not anymore. genderfluid and LOVES TO FUCKING PRANK ANYTHING THAT MOVES, PLEASE CHILL TF OUT. Bffs w/ tally and also dating emmelie (chey’s oc). Fun fact I call these three the “Greek Squad” bc sparta’s named after an ancient Greece city, tally’s middle name is Athens, and emmelie is greek!!

Marlene – a luna moth trans girl!! Not very developed bc shes relatively new (as are poodle, Julia, bb, reese, and todd). She’s the Mom Friend of her squad and an elegant beauty

Poodle – a poodle moth trans girl. She loves wearing wooly and cotton-y stuff and her wardrobe is just. fluff. She’s really cute and a social sweetheart and is gay 4 the punk goirl Julia.

Julia – a rosy maple moth (originally based on skull’s head moth but, changed). She’s a kickass punk (also she’s a DFAB agender person who uses they/them or she/her!). dating poodle and ghost written by henna

Oscar – a trans demiboy deer guy. He goes on adventures with banner and loves nature and cute aesthetics and shit. Probably runs an aesthetic blog. Travels through space w/ banner + Vicky/Adelaide. Oscar’s best friend (also may be dating them idk ?)

Banner – agender badass alien. Literally made of stars and shit. Travels space w their best buddy Oscar and eventually picks up Vicky and Adelaide. It’s a fun time yo.

Vicky – is a trans girl and has DID. Big, buff, and loves 2 snack and eat. Adelaide’s best friend and also super menacing (despite actually being. Really sweet and gentle. A placid pal). I haven’t developed much on her alters yet. One of them is mean and insults everybody’s fashion sense.

Adelaide – WILL SHOOT ANYTHING THAT MOVES IF SHE’S GOT HER ARROWS. MADE OF ANGER AND SPITE. LOVES TO GET INTO FIST FIGHTS. U were scared of Vicky? Think again fuckers adelaide’s the real menace. Another trans goirl

Garrett – oh man please let him rest why is he always getting stabbed

Alejandro – oh man please stop this kid why r they always getting garrett hurt

Traci – oh man give her a BREAK PLEASE SHE’S TIRED.