#well okay the super dry hair does also put kind of a damper on them but that’s more workable than head body mismatch

[skysplasher]

seriously i couldn’t find a single milkshake that didn’t have severe head-body mismatch. i’ve seen it occur on some of the other strawberry shortcake fillies to various degrees but it doesn’t seem to be as common with them. even cookie dough doesn’t seem to get it nearly as bad despite being the next lightest color. it puts such a damper on these otherwise cute toys. why did they have to make their heads out of that material.

[asterekmess]

S3A-E6

Oh boy, here we go, Motel California is just full of absolute bullshit. *sigh* let’s get started then.

Read More’s are good for the environment (or so i’ve heard)

Before we start, I wanna let you guys know that I’m just not gonna comment on the Jennifer/Derek scenes. I just. I really honestly cannot do it. I don’t care. No. Also as this is well, this episode, please be advised that there will be extensive suicide mentions.

Thoughts:

I know this is random as hell, but that truck looks like mine. Oh, and look at the date, it’s only like nine years older than mine. nice.

why does it look like he’s nursing an arrow wound on his leg? Is it just me? That doesn’t look like a claw mark.

Can...can I just point out (god, i already need the tag) that....that they’re drawing a DIRECT parallel between this ARGENT HUNTER and Scott with the whole “lifting up the shirt to reveal the bite on their side’ thing? Like, it’s a perfect replica of when scott does it in the first episode. And they don’t do that with the others. Jackson’s bite was just Visible when he got out of the water and we never see Isaac, and Erica’s bites. Boyd’s was a whole sitting down thing on the Zamboni with his hoodie. They didn’t even do the same thing with Victoria ARGENT’s bite. OH and he’s wearing the heirloom necklace from season 1.

Wait, hold up. So, he just got bitten that night, but he’s already gonna shift? What? The bite works that fast?

....he’s from MA? Why tf is he in california? Also, he’s 27 apparently, oof.

Finstock...honey...you ran out of keys when you have like 6 students behind you still.

why is Finstock paying for Allison and Lydia’s room as well? He’s just that nice, or did he honestly forget they aren’t on the track team?

Maybe it’s just the Sterek shipper in me talking, but someone wanna explain why the fuck Stiles would put Derek on the suspect list for HUMAN SACRIFICES? Let alone TWICE? He literally just helped Derek get his pack back and has been working with them the whole time? Why???Would??He???Suspect???DEREK??? OR his sister???

I totally forgot that Scott promised Stiles he would watch Star Wars after they got back to Beacon Hills. SCOTT YOU ASSHOLE COME ON.

yeouch. You’re putting a huge damper on my Stydia brotp here Stiles. jeez.

*Movie trailer voice* He’s a hunter whose family has been torn apart by a human/werewolf war, who refuses to give up the fight against a species his clan has persecuted for centuries. He does weird detective work that makes no sense and looks like a Dark Souls ghost repeat of someone’s death. He insists on ‘staying out of things’ but then follows people around getting mad when things go wrong. Coming this summer, Chris Argent must actually learn.....to get off his ass and help.

WHY DO THEY ALL DO THE CLAW THING??? Yes, they are obviously claw marks. Why the fuck do you need to put your fingers on it?

Honestly, it makes me so sad because STiles is trying okay? Like, Boyd was pissed that Stiles acted like his friend when they never hung out, and STiles is trying to do the chill smalltalk thing, trying to point out things they have in common. He’s trying to MAKE FRIENDS and Boyd is just....uh...possessed? And still getting candy?? Huh?

Honestly, I’d do the same thing Stiles. Get that candy.

Allison, why’d you get in the shower if Lydia wasn’t back with the towels yet? How’re you planning on getting to them? You expect Lydia to come into the bathroom while you’re showering to put one there? #allydia confirmed.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? I ALWAYS FORGET THIS HAPPENED. WHAT THE FUCK?

Okay, okay, look at that adaptation we got going on here. Remember, okay, the last time Allison was harassed sexually (which, holy shit I can’t believe this has happened twice) it was by Jackson, who was possessed by Matt. So when Scott gets super fucking creepy, instead of freaking out, her FIRST instinct is to check if he’s still himself, if he’s okay. She jumps to ‘possessed’ and tries to take care of him WHILE SHE”S NAKED IN THE SHOWER AND BEING CREEPED ON. Which, while absolutely horrendously terrifying, is also an interesting character growth. We get to see how Allison responds to the same situation, but a season later.

Really not a fan of the weird-ass focus they put on this woman’s stoma ( think that’s the word) like...are you seriously trying to make that a part of the ‘horror’ aspect of this episode? For real? what is wrong with you?

So I did the research, and actually, hotels aren’t required to tell anyone about deaths in their rooms. But they also renovate the entire room basically to clean that kind of thing up. Replacing walls and anything that can absorb liquid and even electronics. Oh, the things I google for this research. *sigh*

So, she says “since opening.” So...why does it even matter that an Argent was here? ALSO...why does the wolfsbane whistle matter? Clearly the whistle wasn’t the cause of the last howevermany (apparently 40) years of deaths, so why would it be the cause of these ones?? They gave like fifty different answers to the question of why the wolves (and only the wolves) tried to kill themselves and none of them make sense?

Hey, so...what the fuck even is this possession thing going on? What is it actually doing to these wolves? Why are they getting affected at different times? or did they all get affected at the same time, and the scene with Ethan and Danny is supposed to have been happening at the same time as the bit with Scott and Stiles? Is it supposed to like, make them more impulsive, or just drive them to do what they want to do? Boyd wants some candy, and he will get some candy. Isaac wants to watch tv so he just sits there and clicks through static endlessly. Scott wants to......fuck Allison?

Honestly? Good dad moment here. Chris. Good Dad Moment. I just, feel so bad for Allison. That when it comes down to it, she will always end up lying to her family to save Scott’s ass. Either when they’re dating and her dad wants to kill him for it, or when Scott shows up in her bathroom and grabs her and she can’t possibly tell her dad about it without Scott getting shot.

WHY do they treat that moment like it’s a big shocker that Allison was there? She TOLD her dad she would be going to help them. This shouldn’t be a surprise to him???

....wait how was allison on the phone with her dad, fully dressed and outside, but now she’s in her bra and drying her hair in the bathroom? TIMELINES. TW doesn’t HAVE them.

OKay, so Lydia says it’s only been 40 years, which would mean that the motel was only 6 years old when Alexander Argent died in it. Plus...Lydia literally says that approx. 4 deaths a year is a reasonable number? So...either this place has a lot of suicides, or it doesn’t. WHich one? Also, just because you have the warning at the beginning of the episode doesn’t mean you need to go into such callous detail about the different kinds of suicides that took place. God, that’s so tasteless.

As horrific as this moment is, I feel like I should point out that the behavior/conversation that Lydia hears...it’s nothing like what happened with the wolves. They’re talking about it, clearly nervous. But the wolves are stoic and silent. What? WHAT IS THIS PLOTLINE? IS THE MOTEL causing these suicides somehow, or are the werewolves poisoned by wolfsbane?? THESE ARE TWO DIFFERENT PLOTS. WHICH ONE IS IT?

god, I just..I can’t not point out the contrast here! Lydia is saying she heard two people die in a room across the hall, and after leading Allison there they find an empty room going through renovation. All she has to say is “they were here” and Allison believes her. No hesitation. Stiles’ childhood best friend literally shows up dead and Scott refused to believe a word he said about human sacrifice until Deaton confirmed it. Yet Lydia and Allison have known each other less than a year, and Scott and Stiles are supposed to have been friends for ages.

I just...I hate fisheye lenses. they don’t give me any horror vibes at all, they just look stupid. Personal preference.

Boyd, honey, those things are supposed to have bags in them so they can be reused.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS SCENE? WHAT THE FUCK? WHY WOULD THEY EVER BRING THIS UP JUST TO KILL BOYD OFF LATER? WHY?

Lydia is actually very correct, remember what I said about the renovating?

God, this episode has so much...just horrible shit. I’m gonna fucking ignore it for my own sanity and just focus on how wolfy it is that Isaac wouldn’t want to sleep under the covers at a hotel because it would probably smell. Plus, bare feets. Also, why’d he go to bed so early? Did Boyd go get the ice for him, since he’s sweating so much?

I love that they are roommates.

Okay, I don’t understand. Three more suicides are about to happen. Boyd, Ethan, and I guesss...Scott? So what the fuck was up with Isaac? I just...they’re supposed to like. give into their their worst thoughts or something? Boyd’s guilt about his sister. Ethan’s....something. Scott’s...uh...self-hatred? Or, I think it’s more his lack of self-confidence? He doesn’t hate himself, he just doesn’t think he can keep going. And Isaac’s ingrained guilt of doing the wrong thing? His fear of being useless...I guess? So is it supposed to make them suicidal and Isaac’s a weird case, or does it only do that sometimes, and the rest of the time it just leaves you paralyzed with fear? This makes literally no sense.

Where has Stiles been this entire time?

Uh...that’s not how Alphas work? Just because Derek died, it wouldn’t make Scott an Alpha. Scott didn’t kill him. Even if Derek Was dead, it would’ve been from impact or from the wounds Ennis gave him. In no universe would Scott become an alpha. If it was the impact, Cora would become Alpha, as the next blood relation. If it was Ennis, the Hale Alpha spark would be gone/soaked up by Ennis.

Okay...so, Stiles was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, and he didn’t hear Scott talking to the phone?

*snort* Stiles has a Nokia phone. How much do you wanna bet his dad bought that for him after the Pool Scene because he was trying to make sure Stiles didn’t break another phone?

Did...did Stiles just leave the room with the toothbrush in his mouth?

Okay, I get that this is a teen drama...but why does it have to be so obsessed with 16 and 17 year olds having sex? Seriously? It’s not the common occurrence people think it is? Now, if these were college age people...or, hell, even then it wouldn’t be this fucking common. Seriously. I don’t want eye-candy from someone who’s supposed to be 17 at MOST. Teenagers watching this might like the eye candy, but when I watched this at 17 I STILL was sick of the sexy scenes. Knock it off.

Also. Ethan IS STILL A FUCKING MURDERER.

.....uh....Ethan...do you not understand human anatomy? Giving Danny the bite wouldn’t remove the metal bars in his chest. It might heal the cartilage or whatever, but it wouldn’t REmove the BARS. Oh see that’s just creepy. Wait. OKay, are you telling me that Ethan’s thing that he wants, with this possession thing, is to bite Danny? AND HOW DOES DANNY NOT RESPOND TO THAT? HE’s supposed to know about werewolves, which means he HAS to be getting what Ethan’s going for. WTF?

...what the FUCk kind of voldemort “love and monsters” kinda bullshit was that? What does that have to do with Ethan’s deepest fear/insecurity?

I am...so confused. FIrst off, I love having Allison, Lydia, and Stiles all chillin’ trying to figure things out. THat’s amazing. But how do they know something’s up with Isaac? Also, it contradicts what I was theorizing before when Allison says the last time she saw Scott like that it was a full moon. Now I’m even more creeped out? WHy would they have her fully believe that it’s Scott, and just...let him be a fucking creep? Why would they openly admit that he’s been that terrifying with her before and then just...be chill about it? Also, when did she actually see Scott act like that? When he did it on his second moon Allison never saw him bc Derek tackled him into the woods. When did Scott go all creeper on her? Is this a REgular OCCUrREncE?

I know it was wasn’t intentional, but it’s such an adhd mood for Stiles to see the paper sticking out of the bible and just snatch at it. most people would call that ‘attention to detail’ but like...I just see it as ‘wtf is this, gotta know gotta know” mooood.

Why does Stiles go running to the next room like it’s an emergency, and what is the relevance of these articles in the bibles? LIke, yeah, you knew there were a ton of suicides. How does this help?? God, it’s like they were trying to make it a mini-horror film, but they just suck at understanding what the right order is to put things. FInding those articles should’ve been something that happened at the beginningin order to create a sense of unease, not in the middle of figuring things out!

how exactly did Stiles get the damn door open if it was locked? For that matter, how did Ethan know the handsaw was there? Was he on his way to talk to Lydia and Allison, or was he heading for Scott and Stiles’ room to get help? WHat’s going on???

Thank you Allison for not just Standing There. And Lydia for having a BRAIN. <3

HOW DID STILES HOLD BACK ETHAN? Ethan IS AN ALPHA? HOW?

OKay. I know I said I wouldn’t comment on these scenes with Jennifer, but this is just a general observation. DEREK. YOU HAVE A CELL PHONE. YOU ARE PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF CALLING PEOPLE FROM THE BED.

What...what does that mean Ethan? “You probably shouldn’t have.” WHat?

I know it’s supposed to be for the Allison/Scott angle, but I just love Lydia and Stiles heading to save the pack. *sigh*

I gotta say, I actually really respect Stiles for straight up telling Lydia about the parallels he’s seeing. Rather than hide it from her, he’s trying to get to the root of the problem, point blank and he’s being honest with her about his worries that she might be involved without even knowing it. And she listens and doesn’t get immediately defensive. This communication is SO GOOD. Stydia BROTP.

I’m fucking on the verge of tears. Sinqua, your acting is just...like, you barely speak in this scene and yet your face is just??So pained?

Bare feets. I know I point it out a lot, but like, compared to kali, who keeps her claws out all the time even in like a fucking hospital. It’s so cute to see Boyd and Isaac wandering barefoot in their hotel room. Just, the level of calm it implies, despite the situation. They feel so safe with each other.

ALSO did Boyd go through all of that while Isaac was under the bed?

WAIT WHAT? WHy is Lydia suddenly all pissed off? WHAT? That makes no sense! But then when she says his name, she doesn’t sound upset at all?? WHAT?

ALSO, I thought this was supposed to be about suicides? Why did they add this totally random (and horrific) thing? It has nothing to do with BoYD! JUST BECAUSE YOU PUT A TRIGGER WARNING DOESN”T MEAN YOU NEED TO MUSH AS MUCH FUCKED UP SHIT AS POSSIBLE INTO ONE EPISODE. GOD. It’s like those people who assume just because they’re allowed to do R rated shit, they have to have random sex scenes in their tv show.

where did Scott get gasoline? Like...where?

God fucking damn it, how fucking demonizing can you get, fucking juxtapositioning Scott’s suicidal monologue about Derek suffering and being dead, then jumping to Derek fucking someone instead of telling anyone he’s alive? What the fuck is wrong with these people? Why is it literally ANY TIME Stiles or Derek are in some way happy (NOT that I’m considering Derek at that moment in time Happy or in any way okay) they always make it out to be the most horrible thing ever? It’s like I said before, Stiles smiling on the field because he actually gets to play lacrosse? Jackson’s about to die. Stiles happy because he’s going to play a game in class? His best friend is missing. Derek....I’m not even going to give what’s going on a name. But then they just layer that over Scott...what even is he doing? Everyone else actually tried to kill themselves. Why is he just...standing there? Are they seriously trying to make the claim that his strength of will is so strong he’s the only one could can hold out against the...whatever the fuck is causing this? Jesus fucking christ do you have to turn him into Jesus every time? SERIOUSLY?

YOU DIDN”T THOUGH. SCOTT YOU LITERALLY REFUSED TO FIGHT BACK. YOU PLANNED A RENDEVOUS WITH DEUCALION BEHIND EVERYONE’S BACK BECAUSE YOU INSISTED FIGHTING BACK WAS WRONG. YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN MURDERED IN COLD BLOOD IF DEREK AND THE OTHERS HADN”T COME TO FIND YOU.

...I get that this is supposed to be an emotional moment, but why the fuck does Scott’s monologue about how much he sucks have to drag Stiles down with him? Stiles was literally always good at lacrosse. He never got ‘better’ before being put on the field. You saying that the both of you were ‘nothing’ is a terrible, horrible thing to say because you’re implying that because Stiles didn’t get the bite like you did, the only thing that makes him more than nothing is being your friend. How does Scott manage to be a total asshole even when he’s in the middle of explaining why he wants to die?

AGAIN WITH THE RANDOM PLOTLINES. DAVIS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? IS THE HOTEL HAUNTED, OR IS THE WHISTLE FULL OF WOLFSBANE OR IS THE DARACH ACTIVELY MAKING THEM KILL THEMSELVES? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? ANd why would the Darach be making them kill themselves?? THey don’t match any of her sacrifice requirements! This makes no sense with the plotline you follow for the rest of the season!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SCENE? Scott was NOWHERE NEAR Ethan? WHY THE FUCK DID HE GIVE SCOTT THE CREDIT FOR SAVING HIS LIFE? And why would he thank him for it, when he told Stiles he shouldn’t have been saved? WHAT IS GOING ON?

Also, why does Ethan have like, a bruise thing on his cheek? Is that...is that a skin thing, or like, a show thing?

This doesn’t solve the problem of Allison’s car being stuck with an empty tank at the side of the road halfway to Beacon Hills.

dude. you realize that was literally 34 years ago? Deucalion would have to be like 50. and even then he would’ve been a fucking 16 year old Alpha. So that makes Deucalion more likely in his 60s. Also, why the fuck do you care Chris? This is such a random fucking thing. It makes no sense. What the fuck does it matter now?

Last Thoughts: What the fuck even is this episode? It’s like this steaming dumpster fire of half-assed ideas and loose ends to plots we’ll never see and really shitty horror movie vibes. We’re talking D List or maybe E list horror movies. I’m honestly disgusted? I can’t remember the last time I had to watch something so tasteless and cruel and insensitive in every single way?

.....on to the next episode, I guess. God, I need to change all of this in the rewrite, and I don’t know if I can actually make it good?

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

I have decided to submit a second letter almost immediately following the first. The reason being is:

In my last letter I mentioned that I had met a boy. A boy who loves me for me. And I’ve been afraid to tell people how we got together, because I feel like it was a low-down/dirty thing. But at the same time, it wasn’t.

So, my babe and I actually met through… an ex. The first guy I started dating after my dating hiatus, he was a sweet kid. But, as E (my babe), likes to say “He’s a puppy. Short attention span, and no matter what, everywhere we go he has to sniff everyones butt”. He doesn’t mean it in a mean way necessarily. He means it more that the guy is very social. He’s very nice, he has to say hi to everyone in a room because that’s just his personality. He’s outgoing (people ask me all the time how we even dated, but that’s one of the biggest reasons we broke up). Anyways…

Because he’s so social this boy had wracked up tons of friends. And I mean a whole butt tonne. This boy knew people from all over our area, of varying age groups… Etc.

The first time I met E, was when my ex took me over to meet the older portion of his large group of friends. All were between 2-5 years older than me (my ex and I are same age so, also much older than him). But all super nice, super sweet and super accepting people. We met up at E’s place a few cities away from mine, and we decided to go to a beach relatively nearby. This was when my ex really introduced us. He introduced E as the guy with the "most amazing crazy ex stories". Out of curiousity, I wound up sitting next to E the entire time we were at the beach. We laughed, he told me some crazy stories, we drank a little. We had an incredible and laughter filled night off in our own little bubble. Barely anyone bothered us - not even my ex - and we clicked right away.

He left an impression that - years later - I couldn’t shake.

The next time I saw him was brief, very brief. My ex and I were getting ready to go on a camping trip and E was lending us his canoe. We wound up just going in (I know that sounds bad, but listen, his house is always unlocked and has a doors always open policy. Him and his family just ask you let them know you are there). I got to see his bedroom, see him shirtless. He was… He… Left an impression every time I saw the boy. He rolled out of bed, he helped us load the canoe. We barely spoke. But still. Damn.

The next time we met was at a bar. It was one of my exes birthday, and they were going out to a common hang out - but what was actually a shit hole - in a shit city. I was the DD so I couldn’t drink. My ex promised to stick with me, as public spaces fuck with my anxiety fueled brain. He promised, and as expected, once drunk, could not fulfill. He wandered off and couldn’t understand why I needed someone with me if I knew a lot of the people there already. But I did. It doesn’t matter if I had previously met them. What mattered was I barely knew them. But then, like a goddamn knight in shining armour, E pulls up beside me in the bar. He spends a good portion of the night with me. Striking up conversation, quelling my anxiety, playing pool with me. It was an amazing and fun night. One of the only nights I have ever been truly comfortable and able to enjoy myself at a bar while out with a large group.

But suddenly, I went to grab a soda, and E was gone. He had gone out for a smoke and came back with a determination to avoid me. I wondered all night if I had done something wrong, if I had flirted (which would have been wrong), or said something wrong or did something inappropriate. (I later found out none of this was the case, to a degree. He told me he realized that at the bar he was behaving more like my bf than my actual bf and had a sneaking suspicion that I may have been coming onto him. So he backed off.)

The next time I saw him was at my exes birthday party. Which, was a similar situation, again, to a degree. Same thing, party, drunk people, lots of noise. Tons of anxiety and people I didn’t know. But this time, we were at his house. So I could have easily snuck off and took some alone time. But I couldn’t. My ex - super social, super prone to leaving me hanging high and dry while he wandered off to greet people and strike up conversations with his friends - was annoyed that I seemed to be putting a damper on the evening my disappearing. His friends would notice that I was gone and ask him things about my location and whatnot. And he would come in and find me, more annoyed every time.

E found me eventually and had me sitting under the canopy for a long while discussing movies and his lack of viewing of cinematic classics. To the point where it annoyed my ex that we were talking so much. He pulled me apart from E, and proceeded to give E dirty looks the rest of the night. Every time E and I would start to talk, there was my ex breathing down my neck, looking for any opportunity to enter the conversation and throw us off each other. It almost worked.

The last time before we actually got together that I was E was NYE 2016. My ex wanted to go to E’s annual NYE party*. I was okay with that. I knew I was likely to be left alone by my ex, but that didn’t bother me. This was a party, that specifically E was throwing. So I knew he was going to be there, and I was honestly excited.

In true puppy fashion, overexcited by the large crowd of people, my ex immediately went to do what he does best, sniff peoples butts. He wandered the whole party, and I was expecting as much. I felt overwhelmed at first, but then found E and found comfort in hogging his attention. E made me drinks all night long, let me bum around, made great conversation. He made me feel comfortable. My ex only showed up every once in awhile, simply to drive a wedge between E and I. I don’t blame him, I never did. I wasn’t cheating, but I might as well have been. I found myself thinking of E as my ex and I fell kissed at midnight and I found myself wondering what it would be like to be kissing him instead.

We fell asleep, the next day… I wish I would have known that that would have been my last time seeing him in… years.

Jump forward to July of 2019. From January of 2017 till now, E would pop into my head every once in awhile. As I said before, he made an impression. I would think of his blonde hair, his blue eyes, his charming smile, endless patience… I would think of him as a whole, and I would find myself smiling. I had no real reason to, but even just the thought of the boy made me smile. I found myself…. Smitten by a boy I never even got to kiss.

During the years, I kept up with my ex. We talked every once in awhile. We weren’t friends but we were definitely present in each others lives. We would congratulate one another on stuff, would catch up every once in awhile… He would ask me to sleep with him or join a threesome with him and his new lady because they have an open relationship.

I tried hard for a long time to push E out of my head. Just because my ex and I still spoke, doesn’t mean he would be okay if I asked for E’s number. I didn’t ever think he would be. And I could never figure out what I was going to say if I did start talking to E outside of the confines of social gatherings through my ex. I let sleeping dogs lie. Tried to push him out, tried to move on. But still, I constantly found myself thinking of those baby blues, and those big… soft… lips… And I found myself often just thinking of or hearing his name and grinning like a doofus.

There was a moment, in the beginning of July, where I was driving to work and… There he was. In my head, smiling, baby blues watching me contently. I was in a place where… mentally I had stopped caring about a lot. I found myself thinking to myself… Well, it’s been 2 years or more even. Nothing could hurt asking for his number. The worst ex could do is say no. So there I was. On instagram, asking my ex how E was doing, and if I could have his number.

I reached out to E through text - despite my exes warnings he might not text back - and asked if it was weird I had reached out? I claimed I just wanted to be friends and get to know him, because he used to be the kind of people I wanted to surround myself with. And that’s not a lie! I do enjoy people like him, and feel my life would be considerably better with people like him. He said it was no problem as he often wondered similar things - how I was doing, what I had been up to, how life was treating me. I asked if he wanted to hang out that weekend.

He said he would be home all weekend, and if I wanted to come around on literally any day I was more than welcome to.

I went on Friday evening. He came out looking awkward, shy and adorable. Hands in pockets as he watched me carefully. We went in, it was just him and I. He offered me a drink. I looked as cute as humanly possible.

“Hey, E?”

“Yeah?”

“When would be an ideal time to tell you I had some ulterior motive to coming here tonight?”

“Now? I guess?” He watched me carefully, hesitantly. Sipped on his drink, put it down, and did one of his nervous ticks - which was tightly intertwining his fingers together.

“I came over here because I kind of have a crush on you. I think I have since I was dating ex. And I wanted to see if you felt the same way.”

And he breathed a sigh of relief. See, it was kind of shitty for us to admit, but during the course of my relationship with my ex we clicked. Really clicked. We were genuinely interested in one another. Conversation flowed smoothly, we always laughed, had fun, and he helped with my anxiety a lot.

Both of us were worried as to how my ex would react to us asking for the others number. We weren’t sure if he would swiftly grow to hate us because of the feelings we had pushed down for so long.

E has been single for 8 years, so for him to find someone worth his time is extremely surprising to everyone. I make him happy, and vice versa. So none of his friends - not even my ex - have been judging us or upset with us or looking down at us.

He’s everything I could have asked for and more though. Honestly. He cooks, cleans, hosts me all weekend. Is kind, caring and loving. He is good and patient with me, with my anxiety and depression as well.

It took us two years to get back to one another. And honestly, I think a lot of his friends knew before we did. But it took 2 years, and I genuinely believe that over those two years I had grown to love him in a weird part of my heart. In a big, unused part that felt designated for him, and only him. Now, it just feels like we are playing catch up.

Thanks for listening again Charlie. Sorry for the two letters in one day. I hope no one judges me for this.

Love always,

V

P.S *E throws a NYE party every year. Usually he invites all his friends, and they’re allowed to bring any lonely hearts with them too. His parents are usually somewhere around, sometimes even more of his family too. This is what impresses me… Ready? He makes homemade stuffed crust pizza, he acts as bartender and gives drinks to everyone and anyone. He acts as a kind a gracious host. But, you check your keys at the door. You hand them over. And at the end of the night - after midnight - when you’re good and wasted, there’s somewhere to sleep for you in that house. To avoid the drunk driving. Everyone stays if they drink. No negotiation. In the morning, he gets up and makes everyone breakfast. You help by cleaning up your sleeping area, and help with the tidying up a little. It’s a fantastic NYE tradition, and I’m so happy to help set up, clean up and host this year!