#well it’s now almost 3am and my mind is fried to hell

[whispence]

WHY DOES NOBODY TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT THIS MF HAS THE ENTIRE PRIVACY POLICY MEMORISED??

you know he has been practicing his entire LIFE for this moment

[theshylittleelfgirl]

Whew! this idea has been in my noggin for a while now and i finally had the brain power to actually write it! Horaaay for BIG BRAIN! If you liked this story please be sure to leave a comment to let me know if i should continue it or if you liked it, There's going to be some spelling errors i pray that you forgive that! It is awfully late here and my brain is fried right now lol 

I added a little bit more to the story not much, It was really bothering me so i fixed it! Part 2 will be coming soon :D

Enjoy!❤

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I was sitting in Levi's office reading a book on his couch, I have finished my daily routine, I decided to spend my free time with levi.

But that short fucker was To busy doing paperwork.

We haven't had sex in like a year....A Year!

I was always trying to get him in the mood, running my fingers up his sides in the morning trying to make my intentions clearer, but apparently he got all huffy and said 'Quit pestering me brat, I'm trying to sleep here.' and then he would roll back on his side facing away from me.

'What a rude shithead' i huffed.

Then an idea popped in my head, it was getting pretty late maybe just maybe we can have sex and fall asleep cuddling, It would usually help the both of us relax after a long day.

"Hey levi?" i said in an innocent voice.

"What?" he said irritated he looked up at me briefly then back down at his paperwork.

I strutted over to him standing behind his chair massaging his shoulders unbuttoning the top of his shirt ghosting my fingers over his collarbone. "I'm going to get ready for bed, why don't you join me?" i whispered seductively into his ear. "Maybe i can show you how flexible i've become." i nipped his earlobe.

"No, I can't leave this paperwork you go ahead and lay down." his face remained stoic not phased in the slightest.

I growled and stood in front of his desk slamming my hands down but not getting his attention what so ever "All you ever do is paperwork levi! i get its part of your job but fuck! we haven't had sex in a year, A Fucking Year Levi! i've tried everything to get your attention but you continuously refuse my advances, What do i have to do? Write "Fuck Me" on my forehead to get your attention?" i panted after my rant my face red with anger.

He finally looked at me for the first time this night his icy glare pierced through me like a dagger. "If all you want to do is spread your legs then your not fit to be in the scouts, You want to be fucked so bad? then go find someone else to do the job, I got priorities to attend to and you aren't one of them, Now shut the fuck up and leave me the hell alone!" he snarls when he was met with silence only then did he realize he fucked up, "Y/n, I-i.." he couldn't muster up the courage to apologize for his shitty words.

Hair fell in front of my eyes "If that's what you really think of me then i think our relationship is officially over Captain, I won't bother you ever again." i went into 'our' room grabbing a bag i began stuffing my belongings toiletries,clothes,drawings into said bag. He heard the dresser jores being opened and closed 'Shit! she's going to leave! do something moron!' he jumped out of his chair rushing into the room and saw me packing my things. "Y/n, baby, Wait please i didn't mean what i said i swear, I'm just stressed that's all." he tried placing a hand on my shoulder i shrugged it off. "Don't." i said darkly "Don't fucking touch me." once my things were packed i swung my bag on my shoulder walking right past him not sparing him a glance.

I reached the door i felt him grab my arm i halted my movements. "Please don't do this." he begged.

I ripped my arm out of his grip "I hope your paperwork can keep you warm at night, Captain, because i won't be anymore, Asshole." i opened the door slowly shutting it not wanting to wake up the other soldiers.

I walked the dark halls trying to find hanji's room 'I should of brought a lantern with me.' once i knew i was far enough away from levi's room i slid down a wall it was only then that his words started to sink in 'Asshole...what a fuckin asshole! Mikasa warned me about him why didn't i listen to her? god i'm so stupid.' i laid my bag beside me hugging my knee's to my chest i sighed 'I tried so hard to see his side on things, To understand his pain what he went through, Understanding how he was about as romantic as a cactus, His cleaning obsession's, I tried so hard for him.' I buried my face in my knee's silent tears fell down my face.

I began to sob 'Why would he say something so fucking cruel?!' hugging my knee's tighter i began to shake.

"Y/n?" he deep masculine voice echoed in the halls.

I looked up to see a bright orange light illuminate a tall manly figure then i looked up to their face.

"Erwin?" my voice cracked

"Y/n, What happened? your eyes are almost swollen shut." he kneeled in front of me.

"Levi he....he." tears began to pour from my eyes. "He hates me, He thinks i'm some kind of whore who will spread her legs openly for any man, He told me i wasn't fit for the scouts, that i'm basically a burden on him." i sobbed into my hands shaking even harder.

Erwin sighs "Levi has always had a sharp tongue sometimes he doesn't think things through clearly." he looked to your side and noticed a bag. "You have no where to sleep, Why don't you come into my office and you can take my bed i'll take the couch, How does that sound?" he gently placed a hand on your shoulder.

I looked up at him tears still falling from my eyes. "I'm not going to kick you out of your own room Erwin, i wouldn't feel right doing that to you." you looked away embarrassed that the commander saw you in this state, but he's seen me like this countless times he and i were friends after all we would share our burdens over a glass of whiskey once in a while.

He took my small hands into his calloused ones and squeezed them reassuringly "I have no problem with sleeping on the couch, I hardly ever use the bed anyways, So you wouldn't be taking anything away from me." he smiled gently.

I looked into his calm ocean eyes i hesitated for a minute but nodded "Okay, i will if it's truly no problem." sighing knowing there was no arguing with him.

"Its settled then, Lets get you to bed, You must be exhausted." He let go of my hands and stood up he lent his hand to me, I took it and he helped me stand noticing my tear stained cheeks he reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a handkerchief he offered it to me.

I took it from him and gently began dabbing the soft fabric on my eyes and cheeks, I offered it back to him and he held up his hand "Keep it, You need it more then i do, Besides i have a million of those things in my dresser." he chuckled picking up the lantern.

A small smile formed on my lips i nodded stuffing the handkerchief into my pocket.

"Shall we then? you'll catch your death in this cold hallway." he inclined his head in the direction of his room/office.

I reached down and grabbed my bag off of the floor slinging it over my shoulder once more.

"Lets go." i simply said erwin began walking down the dark hallways if it wasn't for his lantern lighting the way i would of been lost forever in these damnable stone hallways.

"If you don't mind me asking, Why was he being so harsh this time? not that i'm excusing those awful untrue things he said." eyes glued to the steps in front of him.

I looked away from his back my voice deeply saddens. "I just wanted him to come to bed and relax with me, I'm sorry if this is to much info but we always made love and then we would cuddle afterwards whenever he was stressed and he was extremely stressed tonight, so i offered to help him relax and that's when he..." i choked down my sob breathing rapidly.

"E-erwin do you think he's...?" i couldn't finish the words 'Would he stoop so low that he would cheat on me? Am i not enough for him anymore? does he take me for a woman who would sleep around with other men? Why would he say those horrible things to me? What have i done wrong other then try to love him flaws and all?' a million thoughts ran through my mind, i felt a weight on my head i looked up to see erwin looking at me sadly he ruffled my hair.

"No, Levi is definitely not the type to run around, He really loves you y/n, I bet he feels absolutely awful for what he said and i imagine he's beating himself up over it, Levi is a tough person to get along with but you have dedicated your heart and soul to him, He wouldn't throw that away just for some random woman, Not only are you the bravest most loyal soldier your the most kindest caring person as well, That's a rare thing in these times, He's lucky to have someone like you y/n." he took his hand away so he could look into my eyes.

I began to tear up again. "His words cut me deep erwin, I don't know when or if i'll ever forgive him, his hurtful words are still fresh in my mind, But i do appreciate what you said to me, That's probably the nicest thing i have heard in a while." i smiled through the tears.

He nods. "Its going to take some time for you to heal and that's completely understandable, You are more then welcome to stay in my room for as long as you want to, But if you ever feel uncomfortable, Hanji isn't that far from where i am, She would more then welcome you to stay, Just be prepared to be interrogated she doesn't give up easily." he sighs

"I'm fully aware." I giggled a little taking the handkerchief dabbing my eyes again.

He smiled and began walking again i followed him looking back into the dark hallway wondering what he's doing right now, i sighed directing my head towards the back of the commander.

Unbeknownst to you, Levi lingered behind one of the archways (is that what they call it? its 3am give me a break lol) listening in on yours and erwins chat.

He clenched his hands into a tight fist knuckles whitening. "I fucked up, Now eyebrows is going to take her away from me, I'm such a fool." he ran his fingers through his hair.

"I have to fix this, No, I Need to fix this, But how? i'm clearly shit at my words." he sighed

"Maybe hanji can help?" he started to feel hopeful, he was either desperate or crazy to even consider help from the mad scientist, Definitely crazy.

With his mind made up, He pushed off the archway(?) looking at that orange light fade away into the darkness once more he turned away and began walking back to his room.

"Please don't give up on me y/n." he pleaded.

To Be Continued.

[parkrstark]

ben’s old number

5k | (ao3 link) | buy me a ko-fi?

Peter’s shaking thumb clicked the familiar contact number only moments after he woke up from the nightmare. It was almost 3am, but Ben worked midnights and hopefully, if he was by his phone he could pick it up and just talk to him to reassure him it was all going to be okay--. 

The thought was smashed when a woman answered the phone. “Hello?”

Peter couldn’t breathe. 

How could he forget?

Ben wasn’t going to pick up the phone. Ben was dead. And his phone number was gone. 

He didn’t say a word, but whoever was on the other line could definitely hear his labored breathing. A woman sounded annoyed when she spoke, “I’m not in the mood for your damn practical jokes.” 

Peter just wanted Ben to pick up. He wanted to hear his voice. 

“Hello? What are you still doing? I’m not buying anything. And take me off your list. Should be ashamed for calling folks this late at night.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered suddenly, his body refusing to stop shaking. The nightmare was still fresh in his mind and the fact that Ben wasn’t there to pick up the phone made it even worse. 

“Sorry?”

“I shouldn’t have called-- I wasn’t thinking. I thought he’d be there.” Because he was always there. Peter squeezed his eyes shut as tears rolled down his cheeks. 

The woman didn’t respond right away but when she did, her voice was softer. “Well, he may not be here, but I am. If you need someone to talk to.”

Peter couldn’t say anything, but the woman on the other end didn’t rush him. She sensed he wasn’t going to say anything and spoke softly instead. Peter wasn’t sure what she was saying, but it was easy to focus on her soothing voice. Before long, his breathing had pretty much evened out. 

“Sounds like you’re back with me,” she said, cutting herself off on a conversation about...her cats? 

“Back?” Peter said, still trying to calm himself down. 

“You were freaking out moments ago-- you have anxiety, son?” It didn’t sound harsh or rude, only patient.

“Bad dream,” he whispered, his voice still raw from the scream he let out as he shot up in bed. 

“Not that I mind the call, but why’re you talking to me?” Now that Peter could something other than he panicked breathing, he could hear her voice. It was soft and she sounded older, probably in her 60s or 70s. 

“It’s a long story,” Peter said just because this stranger didn’t want to hear him whine. 

“Seems like I've got the time. Since you already woke me up,” she said, her voice teasing. 

Still, Peter apologized. “I'm sorry for waking you. I usually call this number and get his voicemail.” 

“Who is he?” 

Peter swallowed around the lump in his throat. “My uncle. You’ve got Uncle Ben’s old number.” 

“I'm sorry.” 

“It's okay. It was a few months ago.” 4 months ago. And it still hurt like hell. 

“My husband passed three years ago and sometimes it feels like just yesterday.” 

“Does it get any easier?” Peter whispered, afraid of the answer. 

Her reply was hesitant. “Sometimes it's easier to forget there's a part of you missing. It never truly does leave.” 

He already knew that. Even if he only knew his parents for the first few years of his life, there were nights he missed them more than anything. “It sucks,” he said. 

The woman laughed. “Yeah. It does suck. But he wouldn't want you to be upset over them. He had his life; it's time for you to live yours.”

But Ben didn't get his life. He died in his early 40s because of Peter...that wasn't a life. That was half of a life. All because of Peter. 

“He deserved more.” 

“Only the Lord knows why he takes them from us so soon. I wish He didn't...but there's a reason out there.” 

Peter clenched his fist, remembering the countless nights after losing Ben that he spent screaming at God. It had been a strained relationship ever since, to say the least. 

“And I know right now it's hard to see, but it'll be okay.” 

Peter appreciated her taking her time to talk to him and even calm him down from an anxiety attack, but this wasn't going to help. He'd talked to dozens of people, including the school psychologist about finding peace and knowing Ben was safe and happy now. 

Why couldn't he be safe and happy here? 

It wasn't fair. 

“Are you still there, son?” 

Peter blinked the angry tears from his eyes. “Yeah. You know what, I'm gonna head back to bed. I've got school tomorrow so…”

“Are you okay to sleep?”

“‘Course. I'm sorry again, ma’am,” Peter apologized quickly. “I'll let you go now.”

“If you need someone to talk to again...you know who to call,” she said before Peter could hang up. 

“Yeah...thank you. Goodnight.” 

Peter hung up his phone and shoved it on his desk. He fell onto his bed, laid down, and cried. 

--

It had been months since he last called the phone number. Ben wasn't on the other side anymore. Not even his voice-mail. 

There was no reason to bother that poor old lady. 

But he didn’t know who else to call. 

“It’s their anniversary today,” he told her when she picked up the phone. “It’s her first one without him.” 

She stayed quiet, but Peter could hear her breathing softly. 

“I could tell she was upset so I left the apartment to give her some space.” He wiped the tears off his face. “I’m sitting in a nearby park. My uncle and I used to come here a lot when I was upset. He always knew...what to say. I wish I could do that for May.” 

“I think just being there for her might help,” the woman said.

“I want her to remember how it was before I came into her life and ruined it,” he said, kicking at a pebble with his shoe. “If I never came along, they’d be enjoying a romantic day together.” 

“Something tells me you didn’t ruin her life. I’ve seen parents that don’t care for their children. I know what that looks like. But from the few stories you’ve told me, I don’t think that’s true.”

Peter grunted as he watched a father chase his child around the playground. Jealously was gnawing at his heart. “I ruin everyone’s life. Everyone leaves me.” 

“Your uncle--.” 

“My mom, my dad, my uncle...they all just left.” Peter scrubbed at his eyes, hoping the tears wouldn’t start falling in public. 

“People would stay with you their whole lives if they could. I know that for a fact. You’re a good kid.” She was trying to make him feel better just like Ben used to. But it didn’t work. Nobody could ever make him smile again like Ben could. 

“Doubt it.” 

It was silent on both ends for a few moments before she spoke again, “Do you feel like this a lot? Like a burden to the people in your life?”

“Sometimes. Yeah.” 

“Do you have someone to talk to? Someone other than me, I mean.” 

Peter immediately felt guilty. “I’m sorry for always bothering you. I’ll stop calling. I’m sorry--.” 

“No. No. That’s not what I meant. I just don’t want you suffering by yourself. I’m only a phone call away, but I want you to have someone in your life there for you. In person.” 

“I have my aunt and my best friend. I have people...just sometimes, I don’t want to put it on them. May already has been through a lot and my best friend is just a kid. It’s hard. Ben used to be the one that knew how to fix everything.” 

“I don’t mind being that person for now, but I’m not sure I’m the best. Maybe start talking to your aunt about this more. She might need someone to talk to too.” 

“I don’t need someone new!” Peter shouted, angry at her for even suggesting it. “I just need him!” 

He hung up the phone before she could answer. He stood up from the bench and started to walk away as the tears started to pour. He didn’t want anyone to see him this upset. These kids on the playground didn’t deserve their days ruined by an emotionally unstable teenager.

HIs phone rang twice before he got back to his apartment. He knew it was the woman, but he didn’t know for sure until he got back into his room and he saw two missed calls from Ben on his phone. He hadn’t seen that since the night he ran off and Ben called him to come home. 

Peter let out a cry and threw the phone against his wall, watching it put a hole in the wall and probably shatter the entire screen.

He fell to the floor next and cried.

--

“Your call has been forward to an automated voice message system recording.”

“I-I’m sorry about how I acted earlier. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’m sorry.” 

--

“Your call has been forward to an automated voice message system recording.”

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you the other day. I’m sorry. I just-- I get so angry when I think about Ben because it was my fault. Everyone tells me it wasn’t, but I know it was. And I hate myself for what I did. I yelled at him too. The last thing I did was yell at him. I never got to say sorry. Or to tell him that I loved him. And--.” 

Beeeeeeep. 

--

“Your call has been forward to an automated voice message system recording.”

“I’ll stop calling you. I’m sorry.” 

--

“...Hello?”

“Your uncle didn’t need you to tell him you loved him for him to know. He knew you much you loved him every moment of his life.” 

--

He tried to limit how much he called her after that. 

But one day, he found himself clicking on Ben’s contact without even thinking. There was a grin on his face. He knew Ben wouldn't be there, but his excitement told him to call anyway. 

He shouldn't have been surprised when she picked up. “Hello?”

“I got an internship from Tony Stark!” Peter said because he couldn't exactly tell this stranger he was Spider-Man and Iron man recruited him. 

“Oh-- well, congratulations.” It was so obviously the woman's voice, but he just wanted to be happy for once and pretend everything was okay.

“Can you believe it? Tony Stark wants me. He's been my hero since I was a little kid. Remember when you took me to that Stark Expo? And the Hammer drones almost fried me-- but he came in and saved me?”

Of course, she didn't. She wasn't there. 

But he was. 

“You got so mad, but I know it was only because you were so worried. Man, I was a dumb kid.” He laughed. “But, anyway, I just wanted to tell you the news. Can't believe Tony Stark actually chose me.” 

Her voice was low as she responded, “I'm proud of you.”

Something broke inside Peter at that and the tears started falling. “Thank you.”

“I know he'd be very proud of you too. Sounds like he raised quite a brilliant boy.” Her voice was warm with praise and he was okay with that. Because it was obviously for Ben. Ben was the one that raised him into the person he was today. He deserved all the credit. 

“I just want to make him proud.”

“Believe me. You do,” she said, softly. 

But how could she know that? She had no idea how Ben died. Why he died. Whose fault it was. There was no way she could know it was all because of Peter and still say Ben was proud of him. “You don’t...you can’t say that. Not if you knew.” 

“Look at you. Look at how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking. I don’t know you, son, but I know you. I know you are definitely the kind of kid any parent or uncle would be proud of. Hell, I’m tempted to go brag about you at my cards night.” She laughed and Peter listened hard as if he could hear Ben’s laugh in hers. 

“I just want to make him proud,” Peter said, softly. “I wish he was here so I could tell him. He’d be so happy.” 

“I’m sure he would be,” the woman agreed. “And he’s up there looking down at you. I know he is. Don’t ever think he isn’t or he wouldn’t be proud.” 

“He always told me I’d do great things one day. He told me he’d be there every step of the way, cheering me on,” his voice cracked at the end. 

“He’s still cheering you, son. I bet he’s your biggest fan up there.” She laughed softly. “He’s telling all of the other angels you’re his boy.”

Peter hesitated, trying to keep his voice from fully breaking. “It’s not fair.”

“It never is.”

--

“We won! We won the World Series!”  Peter practically screamed into his phone as he threw himself on his bed. The tattered old Mets hat was still on his head, his hair curling around the edges of it around his head. It was a bit tight on him, but he wasn’t ever going to replace this one. 

Ben bought it for him at his first Mets game. 

“Hate to break it to you, son, but I’m a Yankees fan,” said the familiar voice that Peter had started to see as a friend, even though he didn’t even know her name. 

“Oof,” Peter said, “You’re one of them?” 

She chuckled. “Yes. I am one of them.” 

“It’s okay. So is Mr. Stark.” Peter closed his eyes and smiled at the memories from earlier that day. “I’ve tried converting him, but he won’t listen.” 

“You won’t convert me either, kid. My hubby had season tickets and he’d drag me along to almost every game when they played at home.” 

“Not a good season to be a Yankee fan, huh?” Peter grinned. 

“You better watch yourself,” she said with no heat to her words. “We’ve got 27 wins, bud. What? Is this your third?” 

Peter rolled over staring at the Mets poster he had on his wall signed by a few players. “Ben always promised he’d take me to the parade when they won. He’d take me out of school and we’d celebrate together.” 

“He’s not missing it. He was watching the game with you.”

Peter looked down at his blanket, feeling the guilt he’d been trying to ignore. “Mr. Stark offered to take me to the parade-- not that I need a chaperone...but he wanted to join me. Make a day out of it-- He thinks he can get me on a float.” 

“If he does, you better tell me. Maybe I’ll have to check out the parade then. Will you wave to me?” 

Peter tried smiling, but it didn’t stay. “Do you think it’s bad...that I’m excited to go with him? It’s just...it was always something Ben promised to with me and now…” 

The woman sighed sadly. “Now you feel like you’re replacing him?”

“Yeah. Because it’s...I’m happier now that I’ve been hanging out with Mr. Stark. And sometimes I stop and think about how it’s not fair that I’m happy with him and Ben isn’t.” Peter wiped at his eyes when he felt them burning with unshed tears. 

“You being happy isn’t selfish, son. He’d want you to be happy. Enjoy yourself. Just because Mr. Stark is there for you doesn’t mean you’re forgetting about your uncle.”

“That’s what Aunt May says…” 

“Sounds like a very wise woman,” she said softly. 

“So...you think I should go? And-- it’s okay to let myself be happy when I’m there.” 

“Of course it is. Your uncle wants nothing other than you being happy. Go to that parade and have the time of your life.” She chuckled again. “Afterall, the Mets winning a World Series? That’s a once in a lifetime event.” 

“Ha ha, very funny,” Peter replied. “Keep your eyes out for a kid with curly brown hair and slightly larger than normal ears on the Mets float. I’ll be waving right to you.”

She laughed out a loud laugh and Peter wished it was Ben. “Sounds like a plan, son.” 

--

Peter excused himself to the bathroom in the middle of dinner. He knew he didn’t have to call her. But he wanted to. He wanted her to know he was okay. He rarely checked in anymore. “I won the science fair!” 

“Oh, you did, did you?” 

“Yeah! I’m going to the National level next month. Mr. Stark and I worked on it for weeks. I never thought it would actually win first place!” He leaned against the wall just outside the restroom with a smile on his face. 

“Mr. Stark, huh?”

“Yeah…” Peter peered around the wall to see Tony and May sitting at their table, laughing about something they were talking about. His smile softened. “He took me and my aunt out to dinner to celebrate. It’s our favorite diner.” 

“I’m glad he knows how smart you are.” 

“I couldn’t have done it without him.” 

“I doubt that, son.” She laughed. “But I’m happy for you. Congratulations. You better call me when you win Nationals.” 

Peter nodded his head. “I will.” 

“Good boy...now you go and enjoy your meal! I don’t wanna hold you up. Thank you for calling.” 

“Thank you for listening.” 

--

Their phone calls grew less and less through the months. Then, there came a time when it was almost a full year since he last dialed her number. 

When Peter called her that night, he wasn’t calling Ben. He was calling her.

He was hesitant when she answered. He wasn’t sure he’d even remember him. “Hello…” 

“Why hello there, stranger.” 

“I’m sorry it’s been so long.” 

“You don’t have to apologize.” She didn’t sound upset or angry at him. 

Peter bit his lip, unsure of how to start this conversation. She seemed to sense his silence as something and started it for him. 

“So, this is goodbye, huh?” 

“N-not goodbye exactly…” Goodbyes scared Peter. He liked this woman. He didn’t want to just forget about her.

“Son, you don’t have to sugarcoat it. It’s alright. We both know I was only here because your Uncle wasn’t. You called me just to have someone to listen.” 

“Yeah, but--.” 

“And do you remember that day when I told you that you’d find someone else to talk to? Someone in your life that would make you feel a little less empty?”

Peter swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Yeah…” 

“You found him. You found the person that makes the pain hurt just a bit less.” Her voice sounded like she had a smile on her face as she spoke. 

Peter knew she was right. Tony was always there. Even when Peter himself didn’t know he was upset, Tony did, and he refused to let it get bad. And when it was out of Tony’s control and Peter spiraled, Tony was right there the entire time. 

“Mr. Stark loves you something awful. He’s your person now. It’s okay to make room for him.” 

Peter wiped at his eyes. “What about you?” 

“I’ve had my children and their children since day one. I’m not alone in this either. Go and live your life. Let yourself feel happy. Let Mr. Stark cheer you on. Ben’s always there. I’ll be here too, if you ever want to say hi.” 

“Thank you…” Peter paused and furrowed his brow. “I just realized I never got your name.” 

She laughed and answered, “My name is Maria.” 

“Nice to meet you, Maria. My name is Peter.” 

--

Peter wasn’t supposed to be crying right now. He wasn’t supposed to cry until he saw his soon to be wife walking down the aisle. But in the dressing room before the wedding even started? No, he probably wasn’t supposed to be struggling to stifle his sobs. 

He heard the door behind him open but he didn’t move. He knew who it was by the way his Spidey senses sent a wave of comfort through him. “Hey, bud, you almost ready? We’ve been looking everywhere for you.” 

Peter hoped his voice wasn’t as weak as it felt when he spoke, “Do you ever...just miss someone?”

Tony, of course, took the humorous route. “You just talked to Ned like an hour ago.” 

Peter sighed. “Mr. Stark...I’m being serious.” 

Tony remained silent as he walked over and sat in front of Peter. He put a hand on his knee and squeezed when he was sitting. “Alright, bud, I’m here. I’m listening.” 

“At first...I forgot he wouldn’t pick up. He was always the one I called. Good or bad. And then suddenly, it wasn’t him on the other end anymore.” Peter sniffled as he stared down at where Tony’s hand was resting. “A woman has his number now. I used to call her a lot before I met you. She said I’d find someone else like Ben, but I didn’t believe her. Until you came around.” 

He looked up at saw Tony’s eyes widen. They were older now, with wrinkles pinching in the corners and his hair was starting to gray. He was getting the kind of old that Ben never got the chance to.

“I’ve called her here and there, but not for Ben. Just to see how she’s doing...it’s you that I call now. When I got accepted into MIT, when I got too drunk at that frat party, when MJ asked me out, when MJ got pregnant...it’s always you on the other end now. FOr those big things and even the little things. And I like it.” 

“I like it too, kiddo.” 

“But--.” Peter had to pause for a breath when he felt a sob close to escaping. “But sometimes I just miss his voice. I wish he could be here right now, telling me how nervous he was before marrying May and then he’d tell a corny joke and call me Petey and it would be okay. But he’s not. And I can’t even call his phone number to listen to his voice anymore. Sometimes I forget what he even sounds like.”

Tony cleared his throat and said, “I threw up all of Rhodey’s shoes.” 

Peter furrowed his brow and sniffled. “What?”

“Right before I was supposed to be out there. Remember when I said I had adult stuff to do?” 

Peter nodded his head. 

“I was just trying to get you out of the room so you didn’t seem me freak out. The second you walked out, I turned around and hurled all over Rhodey’s shoes.” 

Peter let out a small laugh. “That’s why he was wearing sneakers?”

Tony closed his eyes and nodded his head. “Yup. That’s why he was wearing sneakers. Peter laughed again. “I thought you weren’t nervous one bit.” 

“Are you kidding? I was like two seconds from pulling a Big and leaving Pepper at the altar.” Tony shook his head. “Rhodey was the one that calmed me down after...changing out of his shoes. It’s okay to be nervous. It’s good to be nervous.” 

Peter let out a long breath. “I just...I’m about to marry the love of my life and she’s got our baby inside her. I don’t want to ruin this.” 

Tony put his hands on Peter’s shoulders and said, “You will not ruin anything. I’m not anywhere near the man you are and I turned out fine. You’re going to be an amazing husband and an incredible father.” 

“Thanks, Mr. Stark,” Peter said, smiling softly. 

Tony pulled him in for a tight hug and whispered in his ear, “No problem, Petey.” 

--

“He’s beautiful,” Tony whispered, looking down at the newborn in his arms. MJ was fast asleep, exhausted after the hours of labor. 

Peter smiled next to him, keeping his voice low too. “His name is Benjamin Anthony Parker.” 

Tony lifted his head to stare at Peter with wide eyes that were already filling with tears. “You named him after…”

“After Ben and you. My two biggest fans.” 

“I’m telling May you said that.” Tony said with a soft laugh. 

“Guess I’ll have to name my daughter May then.” Peter moved closer to Tony so that their arms were touching. Neither of them said a word as they both stared down at Peter’s son, who was only a few hours old. He was blinking back up at Tony, unaware of the man holding him and just how much he loved him. “Being a grandpa looks good on you.” 

“God, I’m not that old, Parker. I’m the cool uncle.” 

“Ned is the cool uncle.” 

“Cool is kinda pushing it.” 

Peter tried to hold back his laugh so he didn’t wake his sleeping wife. “Yeah. You’re right.” 

“Always am.” 

Peter reached over to push his finger into Benjamin’s hand. “I wish Ben could meet him. I wish I could give him a call and let him know.” 

“Why don’t you? Did you forget his number?” 

“No. Of course not.” Even if he didn’t have his number saved still he would never forget it. 

“Then why don’t you give him a call? Tell him you named him after him. Me too. Don’t forget that part.” 

Peter pulled his cell phone from his pocket and sighed. “I guess I could give her a call. I want to thank her for the gift she brought to the baby shower anyway. Even if it’s a Yankees onesie.” 

“I personally cannot wait to babysit Benny and dress him up in that.” 

Peter rolled his eyes as he opened his contacts and chose Ben’s. He really needed to change that to Maria’s name. He brought the phone to his ear and wait for her to pick up. But she didn’t. It went straight to voicemail. 

“Hey, this is Ben Parker, sorry I missed your call. I’m either suffering from food poison given to me by my wife or kicking my boy’s ass in a Nerf gun war. Give me a call later and I’ll get back to you.” 

Peter’s world stopped for a moment. That was...that was Ben. His Uncle. That was his voicemail. That was his voice. 

Peter looked over to Tony, not even bothering to stop the tears from trailing down his cheeks. “Mr. Stark…” 

“At your wedding, you wanted to hear his voice but couldn’t. I thought maybe for this milestone, he could be there for you.” 

Peter hadn’t blinked once. He knew the phone was recording his message, but he couldn’t look away from Tony. “How…” 

“It took a while. And I had to fight with a lot of people with the phone company. They said his recording was gone, but c’mon, it couldn’t be gone completely. It had to be saved somewhere. So I had FRIDAY search through their files linked to that phone number until they found it. And I had them put it back up. His phone line isn’t going anywhere. It’ll still be up when your kid is having a kid. Don’t worry about that.” 

Peter felt his shoulders shaking with silent tears. He didn’t know what to say. Tony went through all that trouble just for him?

“And I got your friend’s new number. Maria.” Tony’s smile softened. “Pretty name...but yeah, I saved it for you so you could still talk to her. And you don’t have to go back to calling him. I’m still here and I still want to be here for everything. Whether it’s as big as Ben taking his first steps or as small as you telling me about what you had for lunch. I want to hear everything. I just thought...you’d like to hear his voice again too.” 

Peter stared at Tony for another moment before turning back to his phone and dialing Ben’s number again. He didn’t even click the contact. He pretended he was 6-years-old, learning Uncle Ben’s number for emergencies. 

He put the phone on speaker so Tony could hear his voice. So Ben could hear his voice. “Hey, this is Ben Parker, sorry I missed your call. I’m either suffering from food poison given to me by my wife or kicking my boy’s ass in a Nerf gun war. Give me a call later and I’ll get back to you.” 

Peter took in a shaky breath as he heard Ben again. “Hey, Ben...haven’t spoken to you in a while. A lot’s happened, but I know you’ve been watching...I just wanted to tell you my son was born today. Him and mom are both healthy. I named him after you and Mr. Stark...Benjamin Anthony.” Peter paused for a second. He didn’t have forever, but he didn’t need to fit it all on this tape. Ben was always listening. “Alright, well, I’m gonna hang up. I’ll talk to you soon. Just wanted Mr. Stark and Benjamin to meet you. I love you, Uncle Ben.”

Peter hung up his phone and stared down at it. He knew Ben never really left, but it was nice to hear him again. He looked back up at Tony, even though he could barely see through his tears. “Thank you, Mr. Stark. Thank you so much.” 

“You named your kid after me, Pete. It’s the least I could do.” 

Peter wiped his eyes so he could look down at his son and see him. “He’s gonna grow up so loved.” 

“Sure is. Spoiled too. You know how I didn’t spoil Morgan--.” 

“You spoiled her. You spoiled me too.” 

“That? That was not spoiling. Just you wait. You haven’t seen how bad I can spoil yet.”

Peter leaned his head on Tony’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Tony spoiled him just by growing old enough for Peter to see his hair turn gray. Nothing Tony could ever buy for Benjamin would be better than that. 

“Thank you.” Thank you for giving me that.

“You’re welcome, bud.” He pressed a kiss to the top of Peter’s head. “Why don’t you go lay down next to MJ and take a nap too? Grandpa will watch the little one. He’ll be safe with me.” 

Peter looked at the way his son was snuggled against Tony’s chest and he felt safe too. “Yeah. I know.” 

[planetsam]

Michael Guerin, Space Pirate

Huge shout out to @signoraviolettavalery who made a great post about a Martian au that I cranked up the angst on by deciding Alex would be a great space voyeur to Michael’s space pirate. 

Being stuck on the graveyard shift feels oddly appropriate.

He thinks Michael would have loved the irony of it.

Alex takes a long drink from his coffee. He watched the launch after it happened, in one of the staff break rooms. He didn’t think much of it, only the 3AM shift he had the next morning was on his mind. Now he wishes things were different. Not that he fully expected his high school fling to remember him, or to realize that he was working for NASA as well. Alex is in SatCom, he monitors their satellites. Eyes in the sky, some people call him, but he likes to think of himself as an Interplanetary Voyeur. Most of his education and training goes to waste. He didn’t mind it when he felt like he was a part of something bigger than himself, making sure that everyone got home safely. 

Now when he looks at the red planet, all he thinks is how Michael finally got his wish. 

Michael always wanted to be part of something bigger. He also wanted to get the hell off the planet. Alex remembers their endless conversations about it, laying under the real stars when they could and the fake, tacked on stars when they couldn’t. Michael found his way off the planet. And was the most popular astronaut to boot. He was the only one surprised at that. Alex saw his face everywhere. Each time it kicked up a gut punch of emotions. Mostly now it was a sadness that was far too familiar when it came to him, to them—now though there was a finality to it. The idea that Michael would be bones on Mars and the only way Alex would ever see him was in old footage was borderline incomprehensible. For the moment Alex let himself not think about it and focus instead on his job. The storm had cleared and he focused on what they could see. It was highly unlikely they would ever see Michael’s body, the dust storm would have buried him. But Alex hopes he does. Michael deserves that closure.

Taking another hit of caffeine, he turns to scrolling through the pictures and cataloguing things that have shifted in the dust. He frowns and zooms in towards the HAB. Alex refines the pictures, teasing out a clearer image. He can picture the conversation in his head, he knows the exact arguments. He brings up the images from the past few days. The way things have shifted does not line up with what is in front of him. The solar panels should be completely covered, but they are clean. Spotless, or as spotless as anything gets on Mars. He looks again and triple checks just to make sure. The chance is impossibly slim. But his hand is already reaching for his phone. He thumbs in the number for security.

“I need the emergency contact number for Dr. Kapoor,” He says, “this is Alex Manes in SatCom.”

“Are you sure it’s an emergency?” The bored voice asks. Alex isn’t sure of anything at the moment.

“Yes,” He says instead.

The head of the mission is wildly above his pay grade and Alex has been raised to respect the chain of command. Why his violations of it seem intrinsically linked to Michael Guerin is something he doesn’t have the capacity to figure out at the moment. Not after the phone rings twice and he hears the man on the other end clear his throat. God, he’s woken his boss up at 3:35 am. 

“Hello?”

“Hi, sir, this is Alex Manes in SatCom,” he says, “I think Michael Guerin is alive,” there is a distinct bang and a groan, a whispered apology and the sound of feet moving, “the solar panels are clean.”

“And you’re sure it’s not the wind?”

“Yes, sir,” he says, glancing up at the screen as the next round of images come through. He almost drops the phone, “sir, the Rover has moved.”

“What?!”

“The rover moved,” he says, scrambling to look at the photos again, “the solar panels are clean and the rover has moved.”

“I’ll be there shortly.”

Fuck. Mars.

Fuck it so hard.

Michael is over this planet. He wants off. Why he can’t find a planet he wants to stay on is beyond him and now definitely is not the time for those deep philosophical questions. He’s got more pressing issues like making sure the hole in his gut closes without infection, finding a way to supplement his food and, oh yeah, contact earth. 

“Look, I’m not upset about being left behind,” he tells the log, “that’s protocol. What pisses me off is the fact that I’m doing everyone’s homework,” he shakes his head, “here’s my new universal constant: a group project will always end with one person doing all the work. We’ll call it Guerin’s Law.”

He has an idea for contacting earth. The problem is that it rides on earth knowing he’s contacting them. He’s got no idea if anyone has even figured out he’s alive. He doubts it. But there’s a chance. He knew it was bullshit but he had an affection for the dramatic Rover that gave it’s dying words and sang itself a birthday song every year. Michael has had plenty of those birthdays. And of course when he’s already doing everyone’s work, he now has to do the extra credit and pull off the save. If he doesn’t get an A, he’s fucking suing. He looks in the camera, aware this could be his last message.

“Captain Evans,” He says, “none of this is your fault, I forgive you for everything if that’s what you need to hear,” his solemn face turns deadly, “but if this doesn’t work and I die listening to your alarmingly inclusive Donna Summer, I will turn your life into the karaoke bar from hell.”

Seems like a good note to go out on.

Summer eat your heart out.

Alex looks over the chart again.

And again.

The spotlight is nerve wracking. They have established Michael is alive, but they don’t have a way of communicating. He knows Michael is trying to figure something out and everyone is scrambling to find it. He also knows he has an advantage. It’s been years, so many thing have changed, but he’s got a good idea of how Michael’s mind works. He follows the paths the Rover is making and connects the dots before anyone else. 

“Opportunity?”

“It lines up,” he says, “he’s going for the Rover.” 

“Let me make some calls.”

Thankfully the Opportunity team is largely still around. By the time Michael gets  it up and working, they are ready. The images come in and patch together. Alex is awake for twenty hours straight but he’s there when the images come in. Michael standing in front of two signs and holding a third. Alex’s heart leaps into his throat and it’s got nothing to do with the truly staggering amount of coffee he has consumed. A cheer goes up and he sits down before his knees can do anything like buckle. Michael’s face is just visible. Alex can make out a single curl that’s half escaped from his cap and it’s always the little things. Michael is alive. They point the camera towards the ‘yes’ sign and the next image is blurry but only because he’s jumping up and down. He’s got no back up supplies and he’s jumping up and down.

Alex thinks he might be the one who dies in all of this.

OPP: Huston we had a problem.

DSN: Good to hear from you. 

OPP: You have no idea.

So the communications issue is more or less resolved which is awesome. And he’s saved Opportunity. Which makes him even more awesome. All around it’s awesome. Except Isobel still thinks he’s dead which is less than ideal. So he’s in a little trouble on that one. But he would trade everything for her to yell at him. Not that he’s got a lot to trade. 

OPP: hey, DSN whose babysitting me tonight?

DSN: SatCom

OPP: no shit

DSN: language

OPP: fuck

OPP: whose babysitting? got a name?

DSN: alex

OPP: i’m michael

DSN: i know

OPP: does this mean i’m super famous? think i can get free fries at the mess?

DSN: no it’s alex. from high school.

Michael is literally on a different planet but he jumps anyway and twists around like he’s being spied on. Alex was a punk kid who, okay, he may have been slightly in love with. But his homophobic dick of a dad ended that. He may have crossed Michael’s mind a few times, but never enough to do something like look him up and see that they worked for the same place. For some reason he feels more comforted by this news than he has by almost anything else. Except maybe that people knew he was alive at all. 

OPP: no fucking way. i thought you said you were joining the Air Force.

DSN: i did. then I went to grad school and joined NASA. 

OPP: wait SatCom figured out i was alive. was that you?

DSN: yes

DSN: i saw the solar panels were clear

OPP: and you thought that was me?

DSN: i figured even you would clean if your life depended on it.

Michael snorts, it’s not like he’s had much to clean back when he knew Alex. He was living in his truck. But when he thinks about his desk at NASA—okay it is a mess. He can admit that. It blows his mind that Alex has been here the whole time. That Alex figured out he was alive. He tries to reconcile the idea of who he remembers with whoever found him. But all he can picture is the kid who unknowingly saved his life more times than he can count. More times plus one, if he thinks about it. Probably plus more to come, if things keep going this way. 

OPP: do you still have that septum ring?

DSN: go to sleep

OPP: come on, do you? 

DSN: no

OPP: too bad, I thought it was kind of hot.

DSN: bed, michael

OPP: yes dad

DSN: please do not call me ‘dad’, they are reviewing these

OPP: ok daddy

Captain Isobel Evans reads the message several times to be sure. Then she gathers everyone together. She’s thought she was a good leader this whole time, focusing on getting the crew that was still alive back home even though the only thing she wanted to do was cry over the loss of her crew member. She runs the scenario over and over again. But it remains the same. There was no other choice. Now she doesn’t know what to think when she has to tell them. It’s only Max she looks at when she speaks. 

“Michael’s alive.”

Pandemonium erupts from the others but Max stares at her. His own horror and guilt reflect hers. Michael is alive but he’s on another planet. Michael’s alive but who knows for how long. She made the call to leave him, but as the ship’s doctor he made the call that he was probably dead. They are both culpable and innocent, but Isobel blames herself more than anyone. She should have given the order to wait, no matter the risks. They all scramble over to the communications screen. Kyle gets there first because it is, after all, his chair. He refers to it as his ship too. Then again he is the one who flies it. 

HRMS: sorry we left you on mars, we just don’t like you that much. 

OPP: assholes

OPP: hows the cptn?

HRMS: we’re all good. how are you?

OPP: bored af

OPP: look. boobies ( . Y . )

HRMS: michael!

That night Max sits hunched over in his bunk, arms wrapped around himself. He never should have said that Michael was dead. But he and Isobel have been running over everything. But now it turns out Michael is alive and he can’t fathom what it must be like for him to be back there alone. Did he know that they would learn he was alive? Did he think he would die there a second time and no-one would know? The thoughts are horrible and each occurs to him in rapid succession until he thinks they might drive him crazy.

“Hey,” Liz slips into his pod, “how are you holding up?”

“I told Iz there was no way,” he says, “he’s been there the whole time and i had no idea—“ he stares at her, aware he is asking for answers she doesn’t have, “what if he dies there? How is he going to spend four years there until we launch another mission?” 

“He’s going to be fine,” she says, cradling his face in her hands. He ignores the rules, the fraternization line they always dance around and leans into her touch, “he’ll be okay and soon you will laugh about this,” she smiles, “after you buy him all the vodka on earth.”

“I’ll buy him whatever he wants, as long as we get him back.”

OPP: alex

OPP: ALEX

DSN: i’m sorry, Alex has been transferred to SatCon.

OPP: GO GET HIM

Huddled in the Rover, Michael forces his breathing to be steady. He cannot afford for something else to go wrong. Behind him, the HAB stands as a shell, blown when he failed to pressurize it correctly. It broke. He broke it. His crops are gone and he feels like crying. Which is not going to help. He can’t panic. He can’t flip out. He wants Max and Isobel and his pod on the ship that’s getting farther away with each second. Mostly he wants the person on earth whose his lifeline in this. He forces himself to look away from the screen. Maybe Alex is asleep somewhere. Maybe he’s just as fed up with his bullshit as he was in college. Michael grips the chair. No, no he is not giving into his abandonment issues because he’s literally the only person on a planet and his only friend won’t answer the phone. Mars is his planet and he refuses to have them go down like this. 

DSN: michael what happened?

“Thank you Martian God,” he breathes

OPP: the hab depressurized 

OPP: i’m ok. crops are gone. all of its gone.

DSN: you’re ok. thats the main thing.

OPP: says the guy with seamless at his fingertips

DSN: i told you you were going to have to learn to cook one day

Michael laughs despite everything. And okay maybe it ends in a sob, but just one. Alex throwing shade like they’re texting and this isn’t a life or death situation makes him feel so much better. He knows Alex is probably hyperaware of being watched but he’s still willing to do it. Michael knows it shouldn’t be a big deal but he’s alone on a planet. The only person who can judge him is in a mirror and he sure as hell doesn’t bring one of those on the rover. 

DSN: michael are you there?

OPP: i’m there i’m just outraged

OPP: i am an extraordinary boiler

DSN: do i want curly or regular fries with this sandwich?

OPP: asshole

OPP: thanks

DSN: hang in there

Maria Deluca, astrodynamicist extraordinaire figures it out. 

She checks her math, swears loudly and breaks her almost new piece of chalk. Guerin is a planet away and he still manages to ruin her love life for at least—ugh—another year. Asshole. Why couldn’t he have just stayed on the ground with Alex like he wanted to? She writes out her calculations and tells the mission heads. Then she does the right thing and hides the info in the latest data dump for the ship, knowing her wife and her bff will figure it out.

That evening she finds Alex in SatCon. 

He looks awful and she feels the same annoyance at Guerin. They’ve both slept with him and she might have had feelings for the mop haired cowboy at one point, but Guerin is good at leaving and being so focused on one thing that he fails to see anything else. Like an unhappy boyfriend or girlfriend. She sits next to Alex and hands him a cup of coffee. 

“Any word from the space cowboy?”

“His food supplies are ok but the rations are getting to him,” he says, “part of its mental but the rest—“ he shakes his head, “he shouldn’t have to deal with his issues up there.”

Michael was food insecure for most of his childhood. He’s good at functioning on limited calories but he’s also scared of not getting his next meal. The fact that Alex remembers that makes Maria want to hug him. She settles for sighing and shaking her head at the situation. All of NASA has been reading their back and forth. For science. The fact that it reads increasingly like a romance novel is definitely not important. And people definitely aren’t taking sides. She doesn’t have a Team Alex t shirt like some people. Just a baseball cap. 

“He’ll be okay,” she says.

Alex nods wordlessly but his eyes are glued to the screen where their communications occur. She nudges him. 

“Say hi,” She says. 

“I can’t. He needs to focus.”

“You can still say hi,” she says. 

“It’s a waste of resources.”

Rolling her eyes at men and their excuses she nudges his chair out of the way and gets at the keyboard.

DSN: hi

“Maria!”

Ten seconds later the reply come.

OPP: hey i was just about to message you

OPP: you miss me that much?

“Maria—“ Alex tries for the keyboard.

DSN: always

Alex grabs it finally.

DSN: adokfjosiaf

OPP: you ok?

DSN: sorry. yes. 

OPP: good. i miss you too.

Alex sucks in a breath and Maria grins. It’s almost almost worth another year with her wife. Not quite but almost. Alex gulps and stares at the message. His fingers hover over the keyboard as he hesitates, swamped by an insecurity Maria has seen before. She looks between him and the keyboard, sending every mental signal she has to him. 

DSN: keep going and we can see each other again

OPP: dunno, you could always come to Mars 

OPP: visit me

DSN: I like earth 

OPP: you’re making this song way too relevant 

DSN: what are you listening to?

OPP: I would do anything for love

“That is my song,” Maria says, “my song with my wife.”

“She’ll be back soon,” Alex offers.

Maria hates them both.

“This is a mutiny,” Isobel says, “we all need to participate and we all need to agree. Kyle and I know the consequences. We’re military. But the rest of you need to understand this could mean the end of your careers. They might not let any of you fly again,” she says, “it also means another year without your families. There isn’t any shame in wanting to go home. We do it together or not at all.”

“No one gets left behind if we can get them,” Kyle says, “I might be flying this thing but I am still a doctor. Do no harm. I vote we go back.”

“Michael is my brother,” Max says. 

“My family is here,” Liz tells them, gripping Max’s hand, “let’s do it.”

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” Jenna, their long suffering media relations director says.

“The Hermes is in the middle of an unsanctioned maneuver to slingshot themselves back to Mars using earth’s gravity as an assist.”

“So a mutiny,” she says, “you want me to put out a press release that says a bunch of astronauts turned space pirates have performed a mutiny?”

“Actually it’s Guerin who would asked to be referred to as a space pirate, since he is technically commandeering a vehicular over international territory.”

She sighs. It’s too early for a migraine. 

“I hate everyone in this room.”

DSN: michael

DSN:  michael update me

DSN: GUERIN

DSN: captain blonde beard, do you copy?

OPP: CBB: i copy. everything’s good

DSN: you are taking this way too far

OPP: CBB: that’s kind of judgmental for someone whose not a space pirate

OPP: CBB: if you were here id make you walk the plank. by that i mean solar panel

DSN: find water and maybe it’ll work

OPP: CBB: i have to starve, become a pirate, now i gotta find water too?

OPP: CBB: anything else?

DSN: come home 

OPP: CBB: only because I want to, not because you’re making me

He modified the ship like they tell him but until he’s in there,  he doesn’t feel so great about sitting there. Not until his radio crackles to life with the first human voice he’s heard in over a year.

“Guerin, do you copy?”

“Iz!” His voice breaks around the syllable of her name.

“Michael, oh thank god,” she says. Isobel has had her game face on this whole mission, hearing the relief makes the tears break free, “we’re launching you, strap in.”

“Tell Valenti to be careful,” he says.

“I got you, Guerin,” Kyle says, “you ready to come home?”

God that sounds so nice. 

“I don’t know, it’s kind of nice having this all to myself,” he chokes out.

“We got you, hang tight.”

He blacks out. 

When he comes to, the ship is too far away. He can hear the swearing. It’s bad. He takes a deep breath and refuses to give in to the panic. The side door opens and he sees Isobel coming towards him. Max is on the side of the ship. His family is there. 

“I’m going Iron Man,” he says, punching a hole in his hand.

“Michael!”

He aims himself as best he can and propels towards Isobel. She reaches and just when he thinks this isn’t going to work, they collide. They lurch violently to the side but she locks her arms and legs around him and snaps a carabiner to the front of his suit. The lead connecting them snaps taut and for a moment he’s sure it failed. He’s dead in space. But he blinks several time and nothing has changed. The relief shatters him in a way he didn’t know was possible and Isobel lets out the best laugh he’s ever heard in his life.

“I got him!” She calls and everyone erupts into cheers, “I got you,” she says.

“You have terrible taste in music,” he tells her. 

They reel them in. The only possible reason he would let go of her is to throw his arms around his brother. Max clutches him and Isobel together as the hatch seals and the chamber pressurizes. Michael collapses against his siblings who take his weight immediately, undoing his helmet. Their voice goes into his ears, no radio or texts. But the first human hands that touch him belong to a friend.

“Mikey!” He’s not even mad about the nickname as she hugs him and then works on getting the suit off him.

“Liz! Get me—“

“On it.”

She gets him out and then Max and Isobel are there. Kyle and Liz fall with them and it’s a big pile of tears and hugs and laughter and snot. He doesn’t care. The pile make their way to the comms to message that they have him. Unwilling to let go of each other even though Michael is very aware that he needs a shower.  

CMMND: good work! Come home.

 Alex has his last 3AM shift the night before they get back. Maria keeps him company. She suggests that he come with her to the families area but he turns her down. He’s not family. His boss insists he come with him to the command center. He watches the ship land. When he sees Michael pop out, throw down his helmet like he made a touchdown and throw his hands up, he feels like the breath he’s been holding for the six months it’s taken to get back to earth can finally be released. Michael is okay. Everyone is okay.  He staggers from the room.

“I’m gonna just—five minutes,” he says. He’s woken up every night certain the news will come in that Michael is dead. He has to go to a second funeral. Michael is fine. He’s dizzyingly exhausted with the thought. He drops onto the couch. It will be hours before he sees him. “Five minutes,” he tells himself and closes his eyes.

He wakes up to the smell of hazelnut coffee. 

He opens his eyes, already knowing what he’s going to see. All the ways he thought about this going, Michael crouching there in a NASA onesie with his hair wet and two cups of coffee isn’t it. Alex carefully sits up, afraid that this is a dream. But Michael stays every time he blinks. When he’s sitting, Michael holds out the coffee cup. 

“A small token of my—“ 

Alex throws himself into his arms. The coffee goes flying as Michael bands his arms around him, equally tight. Two years of text messages sent through a Rover and suddenly all of their other senses are flooding with each other. Alex never wants to let go of him and he can feel Michael trembling against him. Their faces are buried in each other necks and he’s never been so glad they are the same height. 

“Thank you, thank you,” Michael breathes into his neck and Alex clutches him closer.

“This was all you.”

“It wouldn’t have been if you hadn’t seen me.”

They pull back enough just enough to look at each other, taking in the differences. The reports all say how driven Michael has been with his recovery and Alex has been pushing harder at his own pt. In that moment he doesn’t think that it matters. He doesn’t care what either of them look like or what state they are in. He just wants Michael here. Michael presses his lips together, his eyes dragging to his lips. After everything, there’s something he immediately recognizes. 

“You’re not seeing anyone,  are you?” He says.

“No, this really infuriating guy named Captain Blonde Beard keeps texting me at 3am.”

Michael is still laughing when he kisses him. 

This, Alex thinks, is more than worth the wait. 

[writehardwhumpharder]

Fever drabble

(Fever, headache, collapse, caretaking, and snarkiness ensues)

Rain was coming down hard now, falling in heavy sheets that soaked Carson to his very core. He kept his eyes down as he walked, faintly amused at how easily the water mixed with his blood and disappeared onto the New York sidewalk. The city's usually bustling streets were all but empty, except for the few people that he'd seen take off in another direction at the sight of him. Surely he didn't look that bad. The blood clinging to his brow and soaking through his right pant leg came from what he would describe as "just a scratch". No, that was the least of his worries tonight.

Despite the chilly wind that came along with this unfortunate weather, Carson could still feel the fever radiating from his skin. Absently, he pawed at his forehead and neck as if to see if it had miraculously improved... or possibly gotten worse. But it was too hard to tell. This has happened to him once or twice before. Sometimes when a magic user takes in to much power, or slings around an absurd amount of energy, it can raise the body temperature along with other disorienting symptoms. The glow of the street lamps reflected in every wet surface was starting to give him a headache and he closed his eyes tightly for a few seconds.

Carson's apartment was on the other side of the city, the night so nice part to be exact, and even if he could walk all the way there without collapsing, he simply didn't want to. Calling a cab crossed his mind but he didn't have enough money left on him to catch a ride around the block. And so he made his reluctant trek towards Riley's office, hoping to God that she would be there.

They hardly knew each other, but since she was more or less the reason he was in this state, Carson decided that it would be okay to go bother her. A few days ago she'd asked him to fill in some blanks for her police report, and they didn't turn out to be yes or no questions. So he went out looking for a fight, and that's exactly what he got.

Carson grumbled to himself in frustration, pinching his nose to relive his growing headache, if only for a few seconds. When he rounded the corner the wind picked up and suddenly he was freezing. Realistically he knew that he still had a raging fever but his body seemed to do a 180, sending deep chills up his spine. He felt himself borrow deeper into his coat, drawing it tight across his body. Riley's office shouldn't be too far away now.

His feet grew heavy, making it difficult to move them back and forth. Any bystander would take him for a drunk, stumbling dizzily down the street at 3am. Really though he was having a hard time seeing just exactly where he was going. Carson just needed a good night's sleep and he'd be back on his feet, but the wet sidewalk wasn't a very good place to do that, as tempting as it may be. His head pounded worse and worse with every step and the chills were becoming unbearable. Somewhere in his head his brain was telling him, "get out of the damn rain before you kill yourself", it's a fight or flight type of thing. Picking up his pace, Carson tried to blink the blurriness from his eyes, scanning the street for the familiar window of Riley's office. She had her business logo and name etched onto it. As he moved his head around, squinting his eyes to look, he got the sudden feeling that he was going to be sick. A high fever can make you feel all sorts of things. He leaned against a wall, doubled over, just focused on taking deep breaths. The feeling didn't quite go away but once he was certain he wasn't going to humiliate himself by throwing up in the alley next to... CVS, he kept going. It must be close now.

Sure enough, Riley's blinds were closed but a warm yellow glow was coming from behind them. Carson looked both ways before hustling across the street, almost giddy with relief. The image of her soft leather sofa appeared in his mind. From what little he knew about her, Riley was a hard worker, more than dedicated enough to be awake at this time working on a stack of paperwork. He tripped a little on the steps up to the door, recovered, then knocked on it obnoxiously hard.

The door ripped open to reveal a casually dressed young woman of average height, average build, average brown hair, but stunning green eyes. Carson's brain must be fried at this point because he almost told her just that. She looked annoyed, just a few degrees shy of mad. He could tell she had prepared something to say but it died on her lips when she got a good look at him.

"What the hell happened to you?" She asked.

"Well I didn't quite get my ass kicked but apparently I really overdid it with the magic and you know how that goes."

"How would I have any idea how that goes?" She asked, frowning slightly. Right, she wasn't a magic user, probably didn't know much about it at all. But Carson didn't care to explain it at that moment.

"Can I come in?" He asked with a sigh. Riley opened the door wider then went back to sit at her desk. So he let himself in. Or tried to anyway.

He leaned heavily on the door as he stepped inside but a wave of dizziness rushed over him. So he stood there stupidly with the door open, letting the rain in. He planned to wait until he got his balance but before he knew it Riley was at his side. She held him up with one hand and closed the door with the other. When her hand brushed against his she felt the alarming heat rolling off him.

"Oh my god... " she said, lifting a hand to touch his forehead to get a more accurate reading. He flinched away so she couldn't reach it. "Do you want me to help you or not?"

Carson stopped moving and reluctantly let her touch his face, staring into the room to convey that he wasn't thrilled about it. Though it looked more like he was pouting.

"Magic or not a fever this high could kill you." Riley said with concern. As if on cue Carson's eyes went glassy and he fell clumsily to his knees. He was vaguely aware of Riley's voice saying his name, through a tunnel, underwater, and possibly in another country. The oscillating fan made a lot more sense as it hummed sweetly and felt the strong urge to put himself in front of it.

"Okay okay, hold on." She said mostly to herself, struggling to get him out of his wet coat and pry off his boots. Once that was done she helped him walk over to the couch. Carson sank into the cushions, closing his eyes in an effort to get the room to stop spinning. The fan swept his way, blowing cool air on his face which had gone back to being excruciatingly hot.

Riley disappeared for a minute, coming back just before Carson was about to engage in casual conversation with his new friend the fan. She sat down on the coffee table opposite him armed with a thermometer, a cool wet towel, and a glass of water.

"Open you eyes." She commanded. Carson did, lifting his head an inch above the back of the couch. Grabbing the glass of water first she held it up to his mouth for him to take a few sips. Carson tried to hold the glass for himself but she wouldn't let go, not trusting him to be able to do it. Which was probably for the best. Next she grabbed the thermometer and tried to put it in his mouth. Carson did that really annoying thing again where he turned his head and wiggled out of reach.

"Hold still, God damn it." Riley swore loudly. Carson's eyes went wide and he blinked a few times, making Riley feel a little bad for yelling at him. She lifted the thermometer again, more slowly this time, and he put it under his tongue before leaning back and closing his eyes again. As Riley waited for the beep, she studied his pale and sweaty face for a moment. Maybe it was just some side effect of magic overuse and there was nothing to worry about. She barely even knew Carson, let alone cared about him. As if to contradict herself, Riley felt her heart flutter with worry as she read the numbers -- 106⁰.

"Oh shit." She breathed, unsure what to do next. If her office had a shower she would have dragged him into it by now, but it didn't. What she did have, however, was a small kitchenette in the corner, including a fridge and freezer. Carson leaned over like he wanted to lay down so she helped him shift onto his back before running to the freezer, taking everything inside. There was a generous amount of frozen pasta, a few popsicles, and two actual ice packs.

"How you doing, Carson?" She asked.

"Eh..." he mumbled, "I've been better, I've been worse..."

"How about an actual answer," she prodded again.

"Oh, I feel terrible." He admitted. If Riley was going to ditch her important paperwork for this, at least he wasn't swearing up and down that he was completely fine like most guys she worked with. Carson's energy was waning and he felt the best thing he could do for himself was just go to sleep. Riley went to work with the frozen pasta, putting bags by his armpits, under his neck, and everywhere else she could put them to cool him down quickly.

She watched him sleep from where she was sitting on the coffee table. The wet cloth was still sitting next to the thermometer so she put it on his forehead, dabbing at it gently in a way that she hoped was comforting. Not that Carson would notice. Periodically she checked his temp through the night, relieved as it steadily fell back to normal. It wasn't the first time she'd slept at her office. Riley pulled her fold away cot out from the closet and settled into it so she had her own space but would be close by if he needed anything. Dozing off she a mental note to tell him tomorrow morning to never scare her like that again.

[goddessixtynine1]

Dream portal 5.0

I was able to finally get a adequate amount of sleep; as the other night I got only 5 hours. This time I found a movie, got a tart chery juice ( as I heard its good for sleep and melatonin) 2 boxes of french fries ( one for my daughter one for me) Even though she isnt here.. She exists so vividly in my life. I write this secretly because as soon as I write this or awaken she will start to make noise upstairs. Anyways..

I fell asleep around 3am; I paused my movie. Everything seemed to have a eerie vibe as thats how I knew it was time to sleep. 

The lines between here and the dream world are drew very precisely. One moment your here; the next your somewhere you belong.

In this settting we were in a farm style house; I was being shown something through the table altar of reds and orange; flowers that set right in the centre.

There was a ideal vibration that exists in the atmosphere. I was calm and at home; there were people minding their buisness; (cooking) and laughing; I saw A little girl (Brielle) run around me laughing and skipping. I tried to tell her honey, look at the flowers. But she laughed and continued skipping. She leaves her flowers on the table; the table of my heart. But she does so naturally; she does not realize this table is my dream. Flash forward to the moment where I am meeting a girl on Facebook named Lily ( my grandma says thats the difference between her facebook friends and mine; hers are people she actually does know) Well, thats weird because I could have swore I knew this girl/women in my dreams because I kissed her on the cheek when greeting her. ( I dont normally do that; I normally just hug the person; anyone who knows me knows I will never pass up a hug) She smiled really big; and all of a sudden I saw her baby. I said “ Hi Bubba’�� and with a very big grin he stared at me like “ Who is this lady? “ I say outloud hehe. He started to whimper a bit; “ Its okay buddy; your mamas right here” as I hand him to his mommy and she just smiles and looks like a character from a anime film.

Flash forward to a part of the dream where we are in a seperate room from the house; the bed; a dream come true I felt seeping through my heart in the dream world the bed symbolized security and that was going to hold all my passion and desires and longing a feeling crept in. I stared out the window that was in front of this bed; it was so beautiful in shapes of m and glass vintage style panes. So artistic I felt the vibration radiating and could hear myself thinking out loud for once ( I discovered a new gift ) “ When I am on top of my beloved I can stare out this window and see beautiful designs; I am  so blessed” then I realized there was a fan ( Yay! ) then I heard the guy and my beloved talking about staying there and my heart soared. The beloved looked like David but, changed. When I tried to focus on my heart instead of who I wanted it to be they person changed.

Flash forward to the next part of the dream where I am in a room with what looks like my Mom; she is wearing a top where her big breasts are popping out. I am on her lap playing horsey and staring at her big breasts and skinny frame. She was naturally so pretty. I longed to touch her breasts. I watched closely and it was Brielle and I playing horsey! But to the vivid look; it was me as Brielle and My mom as me. I shaped into a essence and got to fly in the air ( shape shift into air) and fly between them and feel the touch on my heart. I felt safe; and attracted to whatever lingered from that experience. I overheard the convorsation that they were talking about as she ( I) and brielle ( I ) aswell; all 3 morphed into one person and I overheard as she took her hand in mine “ I love you so much “ “ I want to be with you everyday of my life” I couldnt believe this was happening in front of my eyes; I felt this longing in my heart. “ One day your going to find someone; but dont forget about me; I long for you” Its almost as if those words were lingering but did not hear them come out of her mouth.. As I woke up I watched her big breast and sparkly top and wished to know why there was this sexual energy between the picture now for some reason. As I was comming out of the portal; I realized..

This was apparent that this is the reason why I had sexual issues before; because well; I just wanted to hear my mom say she and I were meant to be togather intimately and remember the times where we played horsey.

The only reason why I feel there was sexuality issues behind it was; I was longing to experience that because I miss her so much; 

________________ ~ + ♥ + ~ ____________________

also; lately I recently got a glimpse into the past  when me and David use to travel and go for long rides in his white truck; we had a experience I will never forget where we went to visit his friends in Massachusettes; we always loved to have sex in the driving seat. There was 2 occasions this was really the ideal moment. The first time; we had sex while I was driving the truck 

it felt so good we had to pull over because he was nervous a car would come .. It was dark and the road was empty. The second time; we had sex in the parking lot in Woodbridge and thats when I remembered the experience being top notch ; and we use to always have sex in his truck and it was so thrilling and amazing and passionate and heated. The third time ; leaving Massachusettes I was expressing I wanted him and he had to pull over which I giggled and thought was so funny for some reason. He and I had the deepest sex and come to clairfication  I felt he was really thinking I was this one girl that we saw in Massachusettes so maybe that was a factor. but by then I was having so much fun being a little girl in his lap.

I never knew why he liked that girl so much; so I know it probably was wrong of me to be with him even after I knew. I will forgive myself for the past; and not play victim. Those experiences were to show me how In love I dont let anything get in my way.

+~+ I loved playing horsey as a kid~+~

 I use to always play horsey with my aunts as a kid. Except one instance where I flew back because my head was so dizzy and I hit my head on the corner of the table. I cried and cried that day and never liked my Aunt Jamie since that instance.

She continued to make my life hell growing up as a teenager.

[mauridianhallow]

A L L O F T H E Q U E S T I O N S

Good shit good shit this took me ages holy hell enjoy you meme loving fucks Q's for you to A Do you have a favourite sweater? I actually do, it's that kinda folded over stretchy grey one I always wear, y'know? I wore it to The 1975 and, from what I hear, it was awesome. (Although I can't remember bc I was Gin Drunk) What’s your middle name? Lawrence...no judgement...Do you still talk to the first person you kissed? I don't, I wonder how's she's doing. Heard she was studying History from her friend I met in a bar one time. Glad to hear, she was nice. Do you get on with your grandparents? I did! Sadly it's been a few years since they passed but I very much did. What was your favourite cartoon as a kid? Hmm, it's a tough one, between the 90's X-Men TV show they played on repeat on Fox Kids or Ben 10 when it wasn't absolute shit like the remake. Yeah I'm bitter. What’s your favourite cartoon now? Archer lol Do you read the news paper? Yeah pretty much every day...I swear I'm not an old man. Who was the last text you sent to? My friend Laura, asking if they'll still be at the park when I finish work. What does the last text you sent say? "Y'all still gonna be there when I get away?" If you could have any hair colour what would it be? Idk I like the one I have. Do you like nature documentaries? Not really my cup of tea to be perfectly honest. What is your aesthetic? Climbing a mountain at a 90° angle in Skyrim on a horse. When did you last pet a dog? ''Twas yesterday. Whose friend’s parents do you like the most? The twins'! They employ me! I literally get paid to hang out with friends some days that's the good shit! Have you ever been on a road trip? I've been on a couple, longest was a drive to Southern Spain from Scotland! Was awesome! Tell me about someone you know called Emma? Went to school with her, cool gal, she saw HP in London and I'm jealous, shoutout to @weewildelassAre you reading a book in english class, what is it? Oh god I'm old. I haven't had or attended an English class in over 2 years. Do you have a favourite Aunt? Well considering she also employs me...hell yeah, shoutout to my Aunt K you legend! Baths or showers? Baths for comfort and treating yo self, or sharing...😏...Showers for quickness and weird snapchats at 3am...😂 Skiing or sun bathing? Sun bathing my dude. Do you kill spiders? Sometimes, sometimes not. Have you ever made an ice pop? I have not. Are you wearing shoes right now? I'm not wearing anything rn. Tell me about you favourite primary school/elementary school teacher? Let me tell you about Mrs. Mary "The Bonecrusher" Highland, and how she was such an iconic, legendary, influential and inspiring woman that she was the person you sent into the bad fucked up schools in movies and have them all pass with straight A's, she ran a tough ship and was slow to praise but when she did, she went all out, and made you feel like what you had achieved was truly a feat. Oh and she encouraged children to learn and think for themselves, genuinely encouraged you when you said you were interested in something even when it went above and beyond the curriculum. She was charitable, friendly, and spoke to you like you were an equal, and a worthy one at that. Mrs. Highland was literally so influential in so many people in my class being successful, free minded, hard working adults that she deserves a goddamn award. And let me tell you another thing, at the end of my First Year in College, I went back to my old Primary School for a teaching assistant internship because I knew the school was becoming a bit run-down and out of control and I wanted to help the way that Mrs. Highland had, and who had they just asked to come out of retirement, come back for TWO WEEKS, sort shit out and then walk away into the sunset like some goddamn Old Lady Teaching Avenger who appears when needs were greatest? MARY FUCKING HIGHLAND, I GOT TO HELP ONE OF MY CHILDHOOD HEROES BE AN ABSOLUTE TEACHING LEGEND AND REALLY INFLUENCE SOME GOOD IN A KIDS LIFE, THAT IS THE SHIT! Seriously though, she truly is one of the good ones, they don't make em like Her anymore. Who was the last person you hugged? I think that would be my mother actually hahah. Do you wear glasses? Occasionally. Do you have a cat? I sadly do not. Do you have a favourite pair of underwear? Not a favourite pair exactly more like a favourite kind?? Next All-Black, that's the good shit, makes my ass look great among other things. What was your last tweet? "How the fuck do you work twitter" about 5 years ago and I haven't used it since. Do you still use Facebook? I do, rarely. Do you like birds? Aye pal birds, blokes, the lot. Who was the last person you called cute? That genuinely would be my niece, or you lol Who was the last person that called you cute? This is a strange answer but a regular in my work. Long story. How did you meet your best friend? I literally turned a corner and ran into a group of emo's in like Fourth Year at High School and I haven't looked back since. Escalators or elevators? Nah m8, trick question, I'd rather take the stairs. Does wonders for the thighs. Are you named after anyone, who? Ahaha yeah my dad, both my granddads, and Saint. Christoper (Catholic mum yo) What was your first url? I have no idea. Autumn or Winter? Winter I can't lie. Do you win at scrabble? I do not lol Put your ipod on shuffle , who is the first song that comes up by? "American Idiot", Green Day. Classic. Have you ever drunk from a mason jar? I have not. Can you draw? Barely even write m8 let alone draw. What was your first profile picture? I think it was Kenny from South Park. Favourite t-shirt? God I have no idea. Best tumblr friend? Shoutout to @bepizzazzed and @double-dorks-beanie and @hesitant-butthole When did you last run? Tonight when as a joke my friends took my jacket and tried to get it on top of a climbing frame? lol I had it back in seconds and decided to get some payback ahah Do you like to paint your nails? Not particularly fussed, not a look I could pull off. Did you ever do something as a kid that got you into loads of trouble? I did more things to get me into trouble as a kid that anyone should ever do. And I still did it. Who is your favourite dog that isn’t yours? Trick question, all of them. Have you ever been drunk? Literally so many times. So many. Have you ever done something you regret while drunk? Some-thing? Some-one? Getting into a slutty dance off with a professional dancer? Stealing a mannequin? The exact words "I can easily make this jump..."? The exact words "Watch this lads"? The exact words "Shots won't do me any harm"? The exact words "Another Venom? Aye no bother!" The exact words "You can crash at mine if you like...?" You get the picture...I do messed up shit I'm drunk, and yet, I continue to do so. Do you want to kiss anyone right now? Ronald McDonald ngl for the sweet sweet invention of double cheeseburgers. Do/did you like you math teacher? I had a crush on both of my maths teachers, Mr. Kelly and Mrs. Hendry, both of which contributed to me turning up to class, but also contributed to me failing said classes bc I was too busy looking at them and being a hormone ridden, horny 16 year old boy, than I was doing maths. Do you often ride the bus? I do, everyday I'm in College. Do you have a fireplace in your house? We do actually it's getting renovated right now. Are you violent when you’re angry? God no! Do you cry when you’re angry? No, I rarely get angry and when I do it can only be described as dry anger. Favourite Harry Potter book? It has to be OotP, fight me. Can you remember your last dream? I can, and let me just say, Chris Pratt, thank you. Do you go to bed early or late? "Do I go to bed?" would be a better question. Do you speak a second language? I speak various levels of different languages. Some if you dropped me in their respective countries I could find my way about, albeit difficultly, and others I can ask for the bar and the bill and that's about it. Who was your first ever best friend? A boy called Dean. Have you ever had an operation? I've had a couple yeah. Tell me about your favourite cousin? His name is Reece and he's a meme loving shit and I love him the whacky bastard. Do you have a piece of clothing that doesn’t even fit you anymore but you can’t bare to throw away? During what can only be described as the Greatest Summer of My Teenage Years; the Legendary Summer of 2014, I wore on my feet almost EVERY DAY a pair of Classic Chuck's, they cost my poor wee mum like £60 the Christmas before but they were too big and when it finally hit summer they fit perfectly. I wore them every time. If you've ever read the book Me Before You or watched the film you'll know what I mean when I say they were my bumblebee tights. Have you ever been in a musical? I played the Cowardly Lion in my school play as a kid. Do you have a porch? I do not. How many times have you watched your favourite movie? At least 100 no joke it has to be. Empire Strikes Back. What do you order at McDonalds? Plain double cheese , small fries, Oasis Summer Fruits and maybe a coffee. Do you get on with old people? Worryingly well. Science Fiction or Romance? Sci-Fi m8. Do you take naps? Anytime I can. How many classes do you/did you take in High School? In my final year I took 3 classes. At its height I think I was doing 9 classes. When did it last snow where you live? A few months back. Does it ever snow where you live? It's Scotland...hahah it very much does. How many months until your birthday? 12 m8. How much charge does your computer have right now? 42%What is your favourite Disney Channel Original Movie? I don't actually think I had one. Sorry. the City or the Sea Side? Jokes on you fool, you can have both. What is your least favourite colour? Beige. Who tf likes being beige. Do you have homework to do? Nah. Are you still friends with your first best friend? I am not. Do you have/are you the gay cousin? I have an asexual cousin, bug more often than not I'm the gay cousin. Do you own dungarees? They can look cute on peeps. Do you like to play sport? I do, not to the extent I used to but yeah. What was your favourite ever Christmas present? My baby nephew. How old are you? Ugh I'm 20. Do you ever use Internet Explorer? Not for s long time. Have you ever had blonde hair? I haven't no. I wanted to but sadly I was a kid. When did you last see the person you have a crush on? Well considering I fall deeply in love with strangers who are nice to me on the train, that question is crazy. Who did you last talk to on the phone? Laura. Pants or Dresses? This question is a lot funnier in the UK and even funnier in Scotland where a man can wear one, but to do so, he's not supposed to wear the other 😉 Do you read fan fiction? Not anymore y'know. What is you’re favourite blog? @mauridianhallow is a pretty cool blog you should check that shit out Do you write poetry? I HAVE written poetry before. Drama or Comedy? How dare you insult The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt by suggesting you can't be both. Have you ever had a hickey? Perhaps...perhaps I have. Perhaps I cannot remember how I got some of them. Perhaps I should stop buying the ENTIRE bar a round of shots knowing all too well that almost every one of these people will offer to buy me drinks all night and then I won't pay shit for another drink until the night is over. Perhaps I should...I won't but I fucking should. And perhaps this has on certain occasions resulted in hickeys I don't know.