#well if you aren't where I am retiring that isn't my problem

[gonzodangerfeels]

I would like to know what magic happened that is a lie between three (four really my twin always knows what her biscuits are up to) people that had a threesome.

[forabeatofadrum]

randomised trope/tag grading game

@captain-aralias tagged me in this fun challenge. I did a trope rating one a while ago, but this one is randomised!!

Rules: Generate your own personal list of 10 AO3 tags to rate. How much do these tags affect your decision to click on a fic? -10 -> very dissuaded 0 - don’t care either way +10 -> very enticed nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

Drag Queens - 5

5 feels like a good mid-point, because I've never actually read a fic where a character doing drag has a central role, but I do love drag queens in real life, so I wouldn't mind. I just never thought to seek it out. Maybe I should.

Virtual Reality - 0

Define "Virtual Reality". Do you mean the blorbos playing some sort of VR game of the blorbos actually being in a VR-generated world? The first one sounds, uh, kind of boring. The second one sounds more interesting. (Not a fic, but the Hank Green duology really does this well). But also... not really interested in the first place.

Retirement - 0

Look, I just turned 25. I don't have any idea what to think of retirement yet. Ask me again in 40 years.

Feel-Good - 1000

FUCK YEAH. I don't believe that fic necessarily has to be a form of escapism, but it can be and feel-good and pure fluff is my JAM.

Loneliness - idk

This is a tough one, hence the idk. I think it is a great topic to explore, but as someone who's felt incredibly lonely, it's also a tough cookie. So it can be cathartic to see my (past) feelings reflected, but it can also be daunting, so I guess it depends on the mood.

Cardinal Virtues - ????

I had to Google what this means and I am still not entirely sure. I feel like I should, cause I literally study philosophy these days.

But, like, what does this mean for fic tropes? Does this mean a fic is all about a character being just or what not?

Post-Canon - 10

YEAH. I mean, it does depend on how much I love the canon (looking at you, Glee, fuck off!), but if I do love how the show/series/whatever ended, I do like the idea of checking up on these characters, so to speak.

Animal Traits - -10

Meh. I also don't really know what this means. I assume it has something to do with hybrid fics and that is not my thing and it never has been. This assumption is because traits like "loyalty" aren't inheritely for animals, for example dogs. Wait, is THIS what's meant with Cardinal Virtues? (jk)

Unhealthy Relationships - 2

Oof, okay. I was literally just thinking today on how fiction allows you to explore things you don't want to occur in real life and this is one of them. I mean, guys, I love Snowbaz. That isn't particulary healthy, especially in Wayward Son. I suppose it depends on how unhealthy (there's a difference between miscommunication and personal problems getting in the way and straight up physical violence) and how it's explored. If it's romanticised in any way, it's a big no, but to come back to the Wayward Son example, I do like the exploration.

Cannibalism - -100000

LOOK I ALWAYS JOKE I AM GLAD I JUST MISSED OUT ON THE CANNIBLAINE CRAZE OF EARLY 2011 FOR A REASON.

Tagging @quizasvivamos @spookyklaine @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @justgleekout @cerriddwenluna @tea-brigade @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @cutestkilla​ @wellbelesbian​ @artsyunderstudy​ @martsonmars​ @facewithoutheart​ @rockitmans @bitbybitwrites @blackberrysummerblog @whatevertheweather

[meditating-dog-lover]

Stress/health issues

So I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to check if I have PCOS. I am stressed and nervous because (1) it's never comfortable getting any type of women's health exam done and (2) if I do have it, then it's just a new stressor on top of the debilitating health issue I'm already struggling with.

I know without a doubt that my stress has a lot to do with these hormonal imbalances. Also my low chromium levels are likely contributing to this, but that can easily be corrected with direct chromium supplementation and gut supplementation (digestive enzymes and the liquid supplement). That's as easy as popping a pill. Stress management, however, is a lot more complex and does cause issues with elevated androgens and insulin resistance. Stress makes eczema worse and makes you more susceptible to inflammation and gut health problems and infections.

So I'm still working on the gut/skin protocol and that takes time. I am stressed here and there and have been washing my hands with hot water, both which make my skin worse. I know the protocol takes a while (1-2 months and I'm on week 2) and healing isn't linear. So while my skin may get better one day, it might get slightly worse the next, but not as bad as I first started. At the very least I'm way past the point where I struggled to find a functional medicine doctor and had to wait for ordering and performing comprehensive testing (skin and gut and blood). I've done all that by now and am at the treatment point. It was a lot of work, but I'm past a lot of the hard parts. I just need to be patient and consistent with my supplements, and avoiding/limiting stress and washing with hot water.

My new therapist is amazing. I've spoken a lot about childhood trauma and perfectionism. But stress management is something I can focus on in a future session. I've dealt with stress and anxiety since I was 9 when I started 4th grade in 2004. I've had moments in life where things worked out perfectly/better than expected, and moments where things abysmally failed and fell apart. But I'm doing great in life now despite it not being perfect. It's worth discussing coping mechanisms in therapy and identifying certain triggers that stress me out. I've decided to stay with my current therapist even though sessions aren't particularly cheap. It's worth it, and chronic stress is not cheap either because that will mess up my health in the future, amounting to medical bills after medical bills. The money I'll spend on that could be spent on a retirement vacation/trip or a future beach house. I decided to play some relaxing audio on my phone on Youtube and to turn on my essential oil diffuser (lemongrass).

Another thing that would significantly help my health that I don't even consider it to be an aspect of health even though it absolutely is - connection. Humans are social animals and need connection and bonding. I've had my share of connections in the past that were fulfilling and meaningful, and some areas of connection I need and have not experienced before. I've never been in a deep, intimate, longterm relationship. I'm not capable of experiencing true love and I feel self-conscious and don't have the best/healthiest ideas of connection. I feel self-conscious and frigid, and I start to realize that it's not particularly normal and that's not how people generally interact and people are more laid back and less critical than I think they are. I've seen this interaction with people on here, with my therapist, and with my colleagues at work (while serious and productive, we get along quite well and aren't afraid to laugh and crack jokes). I feel accepted by, for example, my therapist and my coworkers. And by people on here as well, on this account and my other accounts. I did mention that I do want a deep, longterm committed relationship in the future. However I'm not psychologically ready nor mature for that. I've had the occasional fling here and there, which is fine because it can be socially connecting and fulfilling and it's better than nothing, honestly. As long as the other person is respectful.

Really the main health goals I have are: skin/gut healing, hormonal imbalances/insulin resistance/PCOS (if I have it), stress management and therapy, and establishing social connections. Poor stress management makes the others worse, especially insulin resistance and eczema (it's not a root cause of eczema necessarily though). It also makes social interactions and establishing feelings more stressful and challenging because I get too nervous and stressed about opening up and accepting how I feel about a person/people. This causes a lot of systemic inflammation which can make a person more prone to certain diseases (from gum disease to cancer). I have to take this more seriously because people don't realize how badly their stress and anxiety gets to them until they're in a medical emergency/health scare.

I've done a lot in the past for my health. It's time to do more. I'm happy with the IF and my current body frame and can eventually gain some self confidence and get nice clothes. That's another non-health goal on the side that is more cosmetic/aesthetic oriented.

I will heal, I need to manage my stress. Because that causes systemic inflammation, makes insulin resistance/hormonal imbalances worse, makes period cramps more painful, makes eczema worse, and makes you more susceptible to gut infections and malfunctions.

[vvatchword]

I just paid off one of my two credit cards. You would think this would be an announcement of joy. But the problem is that I've already done this like. Twice before. And I have another credit card to defeat, and that card is god-tier.

Defeating life's challenges used to be, you know... kinda satisfying. But it's different when you're at the bottom and it just doesn't take that much to knock you into a major challenge like that to begin with. I don't feel good about this. I feel furious. I am literally in the throes of despair. Full-ass despair. I considered throwing myself into traffic today. I had to bring out the time-worn listicle I built ten years ago and go down the list in my own mind for why we don't do that.

Whole reason I'm here is medical issues. Almost 100%. The rest of the reason is my car, followed at a very, very far distance by Fun Things, which I do every now and then when I feel like I'm going to die. I feel like I have to mention this because the pinch-assed little critic in me likes to come out with WELL MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T MISUSE--bitch half of my income goes to rent. I have reduced my fun-stuff budget to $30 every MONTH. If I don't do this I'm going to kill myself. Shut the fuck up. These aren't the 90s. Also, given the familiar tone of your voice, I'm assuming you're the specter of my parents. I just watched Dad buy a whole-ass truck by digging into his retirement savings while refusing to take care of the basic medical needs of my mother. I spent money on a BioShock figure I've really wanted and it was fucking great. Fuck you and go kill yourself.

I'm about to have to move into a single room in someone's house. Like that's where we're going. I'm a middle-aged person with a very cool job and that job doesn't pay me enough to have my own living space. I have been buying little figurines to stand up in my living space since I graduated college the first time, and I'd put them in a box, thinking: "When you get a place of your own, you can put them all up!"

I have never, ever been in a place where I can put up my figurines and dolls. Never. I have boxes of them in my closet, carefully labeled. I bring them out every now and then to admire them. I'm never going to have a place to put them up, am I? Hell! All of my old video game equipment--the equipment I've dreamed of setting up a whole room for--CRT TVs, N64s, old carts. I'm literally never going to have it. It will never be. The cool writing office I want where I can finally stand all my books up properly? Walls for the art I want to display? I'll never have any of this. Never. All of this will literally never ever happen and I might as well give the fuck up now.

Just. Is there any torture more keen than looking back at the worlds of your parents--remembering the 90s, when you considered yourself poor but your Dad was able to support a family of five and own his own fucking house--and realize that not only do you have it worse, you're never going to get any better? Imagine the enormous hurdles in front of any kind of meaningful social change in this godforsaken hellhole we call a country. Because I'm not fooling myself. This is all 100% systemic. This isn't me fucking up. In fact, I'm doing the right thing almost all of the time--saving a little bit of money every month, not going on any exceptional spending sprees, very rarely treating myself, calculating how much I can reasonably do. No, this is someone refusing to pay me a living wage, living in a location with horrible tenant protections and expensive real estate for literally no reason, and a number of social and economic factors.

Certainly I've made gaffes, financially speaking, but gaffes are not a fucking sin that mean I deserve to live in suffering all the goddamn time. I couldn't afford an MRI, you piece of shit.

I have to brush shoulders with a lot of rich motherfuckers where I work. It's part of where I live and part of what I do--turns out I'm supported by a little passel of rich assholes. When you see the world they live in, when you realize what you are to them, everything in you just starts boiling. My director, who is unbelievably wealthy, saw my Invisalign sitting on my desk and started talking about how he went through the whole rigamarole and then just stopped wearing his retainer. Ohhh he didn't know why he stopped he jusssst stoppppeddddd.

I got Invisalign because I was experiencing debilitating headaches that would knock me out 2-3 days at a time and it turned out that I was grinding my teeth at night. That MRI I was talking about? I was trying to set one up just to figure out why I kept having agonizing headaches. I couldn't afford the MRI so I never got it. I'm having the headaches again, by the way. SURE HOPE IT ISN'T BRAIN CANCER OR EYEBALL ROT BUT IF IT WERE WHAT THE FUCK WOULD I DO? With what money?

My dental insurance didn't cover the Invisalign. I've had to pay it all out of pocket. It's a huge part of why I'm in debt, actually. I couldn't afford it in one fell swoop so I set up a payment plan, but that payment plan is $343/month. But if I didn't do this I assure you 10000% I would be in agony several times a month, up to and including not being able to work because of nausea.

I am at the point where I think seriously about stealing my groceries.

It's hard not to feel like I'm being punished for being alive. Or, hell, for being single and liking it. If I lived in a two-income household it would be different. But why isn't this a fucking option? Like you think you're going to Grow Up and be able to afford things eventually--do the shit you want, travel, see concerts and plays and movies. Instead I'm locked in a single place--almost literally, because moving is that expensive--and I can't do shit. I can't take care of my own most basic needs. I literally ask for nothing. I literally do nothing. I DO NOTHING.

What makes this particularly poignant is that I'm friends with several people who either should be on disability or are. They are constantly in the throes of shame for their poverty, but this is for good reason--they're being crushed to death by medical issues that are way outside of their responsibilities. Not only can I not help them, there's literally almost no difference between their lives and mine. They're supported by other people for the most part, but they can't live well. And neither can I. I am, for all intents and purposes, living the exact same life as people who can't afford the doctor. Because I can't. I'm faaaaaar from minimum wage and I still fall in a bracket just above what qualifies as "abject poverty." Literally.

I am about to go fucking insane. I might already be.

While I can reassure you that I will not nix myself anytime soon, I also have a feeling that's how I go out.

[morlock-holmes]

I read a bunch of other replies to this and I have to say, I find myself a bit irritated with my erstwhile allies here, because of this focus on the disabled which kind of rubs me the wrong way in the same way as people who explain that global warming is bad because it will have bad effects on the global south. Buddy! It's gonna have bad effects on everybody! Same with this language of parasitism. Honestly if you want to explain that landlords are parasites because they exploit the fear of homelessness to avoid their duties and exploit their tenants, well, fine. Hits a little close to home because I have landlords in the family but whatever.

The problem is this kind of thing:

"except that people in general can't do it "on a whim", only a small class of wealthy people are able to choose to consume without contributing."

Yeah that class of wealthy people who consume without contributing is called "Everybody who is retired".

There's so much wrong with this I'm genuinely not sure how to order my problems with it.

For one thing, this kind of thing is exactly what makes your boss a force of terror. In a society where able-bodied people must be discouraged from avoiding work, your boss can ask, "So, are you going to work that unpaid overtime for me, or are you one of those parasites who refuses to work despite being able-bodied? Because you know what happens to parasites in this society, right?"

And yes, landlords leverage a very similar kind of terror.

For another thing, this just isn't how consumption works in a capitalist society.

Say I work at a carwash, and I earn $20, and I go spend $5 on a happy hour beer at my favorite restaurant. The next day, my dad dies and I inherit a huge estate that makes me a millionaire. I go back to that restaurant and spend $500 on a steak dinner and a glass of wine. I'm consuming more and working less, but the restaurant is better off.

I know people are going to misinterpret this and say I think a rising tide lifts all boats but I am not saying that at all.

I'm saying that in our economic system consumption cannot be so easily separated from contribution.

Thirdly, this concept of parasitism... Okay, who is more of a parasite than a person who doesn't work but still spends money? Well... Someone who doesn't work and spends someone else's money. By which I mean anybody on the dole. Apparently the tories over in jolly old England have been eagerly making this point lately.

The bad thing is there are plenty of sympathetic people who are "able-bodied and choose to consume instead of contributing" who we don't want to compare to landlords or trust-fund babies but who do, in fact, just spend money without working.

So the person who retires at 60 is fine but the person who retires at 50 is a parasite... Or was it the person who retires at 70 is fine and the person who retires at 60 is a parasite?

Anyway, in order to separate the good people who consume without laboring from the bad people who consume without laboring you introduce more and more value judgements into the language in an attempt to make this whole kind of language make sense, so it is, for example, able-bodied people who don't work because they are lazy who are the parasites, rather than able-bodied people who don't work.

Again, If this stuff catches on, that gives the boss way more leverage over you. Because if you quit, the question isn't something objective, it has become whether or not you quit because you are lazy.

Are you the kind of person who morally deserves to quit your job? Can you prove to the welfare board that you aren't just quitting because you're lazy?

I don't think I have a problem with the word parasite, but I do have ENORMOUS problems with this particular ideology of productive labor being parasitized by people who only consume rather than produce. Yes, this will obviously be used against disabled people but it will also obviously be used against everyone aside from the elite cadre empowered to decide who is "lazy" and who isn't.

I had a hallucinatory moment where I almost asked how a communist could believe in this kind of thing but then I remembered how most communist countries were actually run and it became a silly question.

Landlords aren't so atrociously bad because our society fails to punish lazy parasites; landlords seem like monsters because our society already zealously punishes parasites and it's the landlord and the boss who can inflict the punishment we mete out to the parasites, slackers and moochers who think that they should be able to simply consume housing and money without contributing something in return.

i'm going to be honest i think a lot of the people who argue that calling landlords parasites is "ableist" are not disabled themselves and instead are just fully able bodied people who live off their rich parents and want to believe that the way in which they consume the labor of others while doing none themselves is somehow fundamentally different than the way a landlord or a business owner does. that's the real reason the word "parasite" wounds them so, it reminds them that there really isn't that big a difference. and they try to camouflage this anxiety as being about their concern for disabled people, which is ultimately much, much more insulting to disabled people than calling a non-disabled landlord a "parasite" could ever be.

[astroninaaa]

Hot take a talk about technoblade:

Okay look I've been part of this fandom since August(thank god cuz i watched it all live and it woukd be a nightmare to caatch up) I bring this up cuz i want to discuss my problem with technos character. I have watched every single techno livestream that he made on dream smp and believe it or not i used to be a techno sympathiser that is until doomsday. (By techno apologist standards i am qualified to talk about his character hooray..)

Now techno like every character is flawed if he wasn't he would be boring fandom. One of his biggest flaws is being a hypocrite. That is not something you realise until you compare what he says all the time so you need to look a little deeper to realise it and i don't blame people for not seeing it.

This wouldn't be that much of a problem because that is a character flaw among with many others but the problem that his character has faced is that he doesn't develop much.

Now i hear techno apologist jump at me every single time noooo he isn't a stagnant character he has developed a lot. I am not saying that he hasn't developed at all the problem is that he has developed very little especially when you consider everything.

His goals his ideas his perception of the world what he believes him everything that makes his character him hasn't changed much and that is not a good thing from a writing perspective. Now why do i bring this up. Firstly I'm not saying this to say techno is a bad writer far from it he can be very good when he puts his mind to it. The problem with keeping a character in this state is that it's very harmful for said character first and to the story and other characters second. Look even at yourselves i can guarantee that you aren't the exact same person you were like five years ago for example because during that time you made mistakes learned from them and you grew. Just like in real life you also can't stay stagnant in fiction.

Okay so that's the main problem with technos character that he is stagnant as a character. Now this wouldn't be as big of a problem if he didn't have the role that he has.

You see techno both c! and cc! are very good at the game basically. Now why do i bring this up. The reason why i bring this up is bc of where this places techno whuch is at the very top of the chain don't try and seny it. This means that he is one of the most powerful people on the server if you are going to try and go against this point just look at lmanberg guys that's living proof of how powerful and how terrifying he actually is. I know a lot of you are gonna say but every can get stacked or play the game but you guys forget that even if you are stacked you just don't have the skill and cc! Techno of the best people when it comes to that which bleeds into his character. Saying that is like looking at the upper class than looking at the lower class saying just get rich like it doesn't work like that.

Because of his role techno is literally the 1% by rl standards which means he can a lit of things free of consequences bc no one can give him said consequences. The butcher army was ig an attempt at that but they failed miserably let's be real here.

Because he is in the 1% is incredibly skilled at pvp and can do anything bc no one can challenge him this places him on a pedestal and creates a power imbalance a very big one at that.

And that leads to his biggest problem he has practically everything as said by Techno himself and is never challenged, but that's not an interesting character. An audience gets tired for a character that always wins or loses. Because if it happens repeatedly it just takes all the suspense oh he will win immediately. He will go and slaughter them problem solved. That's it every time. Something that techno himself confirmed is then when he has a problem he just stabs it (both of these were said during the egg stream).

And if you are going to bring the things he went through to say he's changed don't cuz as long as he doesn't act on it it means nothing. Like examples Red festival killed tubbo an ally. Traumatic experience right? This is a good moment to develop his character and give us more insight. What happens? Techno tries to dismiss it and shows us his anxiety and gives us insight on his character Great! Character development? Starting to question himself just a bit or any sign of that event having an effect on him? Nope! Why? Cuz he doesn't act on it instead he tries to hide the fact that ever happened and changes to a different topic bc there is no justification there and he knows it. Nov 16th c!technos pov he just got betrayed caused some damage wished death upon his former allies and left. Quite a dramatic scene. He feels betrayed time for some good old character development. Him thinking about himself and his actions. Reflecting on them. Great moment! Problem: literally everything that shows this is done off camera and now suddenly he's retired... Okay you know what fine it's alright he would probably expand upon and did a timeskip to explain the ling time he didn't stream. I see where it's comming from. The butcher army ge gets hunted down bc actions have consequences techno and you can't just run away like that not after doing that. Great point from the butcher army. Go give him some consequences his character needs it. And then he gets executed alright a bit too far but i guess that's how it goes in this server. Techno gets his life back immediately.. well that was a bit pointless but alright a cool scene for the animatic fair. Then he kills quackity.. the butcher army lost.. this.. what? But this was the moment of consequences... and quackity didn't get it back like techno the butcer aemy lost more than techno what? Moving along he teams up with tommy aannnd the 50 withers are up and ready of course you didn't fully retire what was i expecting. And now team up with tommy perfect way to learn about dream and give more insight on lmanberg and how dream is a tyrant and everything techno is supposed to stand against. The green festival tommy chooses tubbo over techno techno feels betrayed understandable.... and then he teams up with dream lmanberg is destroyed and the underdogs are beaten to the ground loose everything they ever worked for and are taught to be scared of the anarchists?!?!?!?!

Okay now hold up a sec I'll have to stop you right there. What. did. you. just. do. Cuz there is a limit to the amount of stuff you can let a character get away with. The line was crossed months ago this is not good at all.

Also what are yoi guys talking about consequences. Lives? All 3 home? Right there pets? The ones that died were the ones he brought expecting to not live he brought them there on purpose so they don't count. He is one of the most wealthy peoole on the server (no one beats ranboo lol) what did he exactly loose? Friendships? Was that all the hardships you guys have?

Lmanberg lost their home their lives their wealth their pets their friend everything they loved and lived for everything they stood for they lost a part of themselves in the end.

Look at the last 2 paragraphs and how imbalanced that is. How are you guys blind to this How?! And why did doomsday happen? Because the butcher army failed. And if anything techno proved them that they should have punished him harder with this.

So what was the lesson of doomsday?

That you shoukd obey the people on top and never go against them or you will loose everything you love.

Great lesson guys this is exactly the lesson the rich class and every single tyrant tried to teach society and this lesson is being told by the anarchist great job....

Do you see the problem now. This is the reason techno needs a consequence bc if he keeps going like this he will become a Mary Sue. And that is a horrible direction for a character that has a lot of potential. That potential is why i liked his character that much in the beginning but now it's almost non existent. Anyway I'll end this now cuz this went on for too long. That's basically my opinion on it feel free to share your thoughts.

okay. okay. i read this like three times bc. because look

i agree in some very specific points, but i disagree in very broad manners.

(this entire......... essay is all /rp and /nm!!!!)

anyways. send me hot takes!!!

i like c!techno. i personally think he's one of the most fun characters to watch because i enjoy the mess, the crazyness, the chaos of it all. watching doomsday through c!tommy's eyes was painful. watching doomsday through c!techno's eyes was just so fucking hilarious and exciting and fun. he's just a fun character to watch. he's just Funny. i am a fan. however

for starters: ctechno is, 100%, out of the park, an stagnant character. he has little to no development throughout the story. we see no changes in how he acts. that's not necessarily a bad thing, but considering the type of character he is, watching him develop (be it to an actually full-fledged villain or towards a redemption arc) would be ideal to keep him a character people can actually support.

i wouldn't say he's a hypocrite. c!techno has a very strict moral code and he follows it with no hesitation, with no doubts. the point is that his moral code is flawed and skewed. that doesn't make him a hypocrite, that makes him someone with bad morals.

calling c!techno "the 1%" is a stretch. for one- c!ranboo has as much resources, if not more, as c!techno does. he has dozens of totems, thousands of emeralds, and probably has one of the higher counts of diamond and netherite on the server. why is that never brought up? because it doesnt matter. c!foolish has so much gold and diamonds and netherite and just everything, really, and it's also never brought up/a reason for people to be afraid of him. the dream smp isn't a capitalist universe, there's no "1%". specially bc there's, like, i don't know, 20 players? that makes c!techno 1/20 OR 3/20 if we count c!ranboo and c!foolish. but that's not the point at all: the point is that ctechno is feared bc he's skilled and has a relevant personality, not bc he has resources. c!wilbur has no shit and he's still terrifying, there's no character willing to oppose him. not because of resources, but because of who he is. when c!techno first fled from l'manburg into "retirement" he had no shit either, it took him a while to be rich again. no one attacked him either way.

why, you ask? bc he fought against c!quackity with a fucking pickaxe and won. that's why. c!techno doesn't need resources to be feared. the power imbalance doesn't come from his resources, it comes from others’s fear. and they have a reason for that fear, bc c!techno hasn't been defeated yet. that has nothing to do with "upper class" and "lower class". because, one, not a capitalist system and class disparity isn't as simple as that, and two, even without his "riches" he still wins, bc he's got the skill. if you take out the skill, him being rich means nothing and he wouldve been easily killed by the butcher army or c!tommy or whoever decided to kill him. a good example is, once again, c!ranboo: if he wasn't friends with everyone and someone decided to actually fight him like was done with c!techno, he would've died. easily. being rich in the smp is relative.

c!techno will be challenged when we have a character strong enough to challenge him in a way that matters. it's important to be smart about it. that's why i'd love to see, out of everyone, c!philza turn against him, but that's a how other discussion (WHICH I'M WILLING TO TALK ABOUT.......... everytime i make these and i add little point i dont elaborate on and then say i'm willing to talk about them and no one ever asks me to <//3 PAIN /nm /lh).

i do think he's a character that just Always Win in narrative ways and that's very frustrating. he does need to get pulled a few notches down. again, that will only happen when we have a character that can step up to him and challenge him in a way that matters (woooo c!philza you want to hold c!techno accountable for his bullshit so bad woooo........)

now, onto c!techno's trauma. he doesn't need to show it. he- he doesn't. that's........ not how trauma works, and that's one of the points that make his trauma so forgettable for the viewers. c!techno is, from inside out, a character that hardly shows his emotions, but that doesn't mean he doesn't display symptons of trauma. he does, they're just a lot more subtle than other characters's. that doesn't mean he doesn't have any or that he isn't affect by it. c!techno is, in a lot of ways, a lot like c!tubbo: both of them don't mention the shit they've gone through and don't react to it and bc of that some of the viewers don't see how important some traumatic events were in their characterisation. that's why you analyse those characters's trauma through behavior, not through easily seen displays of trauma.

i do think it's taken a little too far with c!techno. the way he reacted to c!tommy's death was...... disappointing, to say the least. c!techno is an underwhelming character in many ways. as said before, it's because he's stagnant. that definitely needs to be worked on.

about the syndicate? yeah, no. theyre not teaching others to fear them. others just Do That bc of their history on the server, but they have literally talked about how they want to better their reputation, bc they don't want to be seen as murderers or oppressors in any way. are they flawed? yes, very much. they have no indicators of what is or isn't a government and they show no regard around the importance of a difference between an oppressive and a democratic government.

they had no right to show up at c!tubbo's door and interrogate him, because they can't appoint themselves as government police. for starters, that's not how anarchy works (they should've had everyone's permission for that. they obviously don't), but also it's just... stupid. it makes it seem that they're trying to boss everyone around so that they live like the syndicate wants them to, which goes directly against the syndicate's own ideals. however, c!techno thinks he has that right. he thinks this is what he's supposed to do. he's just following his moral code - his moral code is just deeply, deeply flawed. what he says and what he does contradict each other but not for him, not to his interpretation. to his interpretation, he's following his strict moral code.

what happened at doomsday was horrible and c!techno has to be held accountable for it, yes, but, again, no character knows how to work around c!techno enough to hold him accountable for it. that's not c!techno's fault.

l'manburg just deserved better, honestly, but to be fair c!techno has been taken advantage of time and time again (sometimes purposefully, sometimes not) and he's fucked up in the head, god bless LMAOOOOOOO

i agree that things need to change otherwise he's just gonna keep being a stagnant character who can get away with everything. i do think he has more to him than meets the eye, tho. meh idk that's still just analysis!!! we have no way of knowing the intent behind c!techno's characterisation, at least not for now. i hope for the best tho cc!techno don't let me down <3

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Ava

Nancy: okay, so now the Seychelles makes even more sense... Nancy: you could've told me, you know Ava: ? Ava: Expand, please Nancy: I'm just saying, like, whatever relationship drama you were going through at the time Ava: I wasn't in a relationship when we were in the Seychelles though Nancy: exactly Nancy: so I'm glad you sorted it out with whoever you were obviously missing Ava: Well, thanks Ava: it wasn't as simple as that though really Ava: isn't, whatever Nancy: it rarely is Nancy: do you want to talk about it now, it's not suddenly too late or anything Ava: Yeah, okay Ava: now's as good a time as any for me Ava: if you've got the time Nancy: I do Ava: Alright Ava: so it's not a straightforward, conventional kind of deal Ava: there's multiple factors that make it, hmm Ava: not problematic for me but problematic in being open about it, telling certain people especially Nancy: I'm listening & trying not to be a judgey bitch Nancy: how unconventional are we talking about? Ava: He's not in prison or in a cult or anything before you get carried away with possibilities Nancy: That's a good start, he's not a teacher either is he, because you know, for obvious reasons I can't support that Ava: As if Ava: If you saw my teachers, you wouldn't ask that Nancy: I will have, they can't all have retired or died since I was there Ava: Do you remember Buster was friends with a boy called James? Nancy: Yeah Nancy: he has a brother your age-ish, right? is that who you're dating? Ava: No Nancy: What about James then? Nancy: Why do I need to remember him? Ava: Nancy Ava: come on Nancy: No, you come on, that's not funny, Av Ava: I'm not joking Ava: that would be such a strange angle to take Nancy: he's married to...he's married Ava: They're getting a divorce Ava: it isn't out there yet but it's happening Nancy: because of you!? Oh my god Ava: No, not because of me Ava: their relationship was a mess, she's awful Nancy: No shit, Ava! Nancy: why would you do this? how could you even, like...I know Chelsea is cliquey but Jesus Christ, where would you even find him? Ava: At King's open day Ava: I did some summer courses, he was there too Nancy: does she know about you? Ava: She's gone Ava: to her parent's villa or something Nancy: okay, good Nancy: she can't find out Ava: Well she's going to Nancy: No Ava: Um, yeah Ava: I highly doubt she's deleting her socials any time soon Nancy: you need to be serious Ava: I am Ava: you mean I need to be scared of her Ava: I'm not and I'm not going to be Nancy: I don't know what you expect me to say Ava: Then don't say anything Ava: you asked Nancy: I can't just Ava: I'm already planning to tell mum and dad today so you don't need to do anything Nancy: I want to do something though Ava: Are you really going to tell them before I get a chance? Ava: Tell Buster as well if you fancy it then Nancy: That's not what I mean, I want to help you Nancy: it's going to be so bad when she finds out Nancy: Forget mum & dad for a second, forget Buster Ava: No it won't Ava: what's she gonna do Ava: it's her marriage over, her kids she doesn't wanna see Ava: she's got bigger issues Nancy: she made my life hell every day for 5 years & I didn't even do anything to her, she's clearly got issues Ava: Yeah well that's not gonna happen to me Ava: she's made James' life hell for 6 years Nancy: how many kids do they have? Ava: Two Ava: the one she had back then and a baby, about a year Nancy: a year... Nancy: she's not just going away then, is she? Ava: Yeah, she must've been trying to have a fixer baby Ava: it had fallen apart before then Nancy: Gross, I can't think about that Ava: Now who's not being serious Nancy: I'm serious, I can't Ava: Who's asking you to Ava: just drop it Nancy: okay Nancy: I just mean, his life, I can't imagine what's happened and what it must have been like for all those years Ava: You can't Ava: no one can Nancy: you said you met him at that open day, it hasn't been that long, can you? Ava: I didn't say I could Nancy: I'm just trying to process this Nancy: how serious you two are Ava: It's not really a situation to dip into casually Ava: not fun from my perspective or fair on his side Nancy: Obviously not Ava: There you go then Nancy: I'm doing my best here Nancy: to me, James, how I remember him, it's weird Ava: That's nearly a decade ago though Ava: of course he's changed Nancy: yeah, we all have Ava: Exactly Nancy: except her by the sounds of it, unless it's for worse Ava: I think so Ava: she's actually ill, I think Ava: but what can you do? you can't force someone to get better Nancy: how long has she been gone? Ava: Only a couple of weeks Ava: but she didn't tell James she was going, and hasn't been in contact at all since Ava: just with her parents when they threaten to fly out, basically Nancy: she didn't take the kids with her? Ava: Nope Ava: she's said she doesn't love them, didn't want them Ava: and I've not heard or seen anything to the contrary Nancy: Wow Ava: I know Nancy: Like, I know she was young when she had the first one but she wasn't that young Nancy: she had choices, not like Nan or something Ava: Choice is just a matter of perception Ava: she clearly didn't think so Nancy: Mum & dad are going to go ballistic, you know that, yeah? Ava: Undoubtedly Ava: there's nothing they can do though Nancy: except make it harder for you than it's already going to be Ava: That would require being here Ava: which they're not going to do Nancy: Dad might Nancy: if he's angry enough Ava: For how long Ava: he'll get bored Nancy: you can come & stay if you need to Ava: I have school soon so Nancy: I know, but I'm making the offer anyway Ava: Thanks Ava: but I'm good Nancy: I'm not good at this, I know that, but I care about you, okay? Ava: Then why do you want me to leave Nancy: all I want is for you to have somewhere to go if you need it Nancy: no, more than one somewhere actually, as many as possible Ava: I don't want to go anywhere Ava: I want to be here Nancy: I'm not dragging you onto a plane Ava: If I have problems, I deal with them Nancy: okay Ava: Okay? Ava: Good Nancy: I don't appreciate the drag but we're not going to fight about it now Ava: Sure, another time Nancy: yeah Ava: Yeah, well done, Nance Ava: later Nancy: Ava, come on Ava: You've got to be kidding me Nancy: don't do this Ava: No, you don't Ava: don't offer your faux support, it's worse than you not being there Nancy: I'm genuinely trying Ava: Then just don't Ava: I don't need it Nancy: what do you need? Ava: Honestly, just go Ava: and don't tell anyone before I do Nancy: I wouldn't do that, it's not about me Nancy: you have to tell them Ava: I know, I'm going to Ava: I have places to be right now though Nancy: can we just not leave it like this though Ava: Fine Ava: thank you for trying Nancy: whatever I did wrong, I'm sorry, you know Ava: If you don't know, it means nothing to me Nancy: you're gonna have to tell me, one day, when you don't have places to be or whatever else Ava: No, that's the thing Ava: I don't have to Nancy: you don't want to, you mean Nancy: cos I don't understand I can't just figure it out Ava: Why would I want to? Ava: It doesn't affect me Nancy: fine, forget it Ava: Sounds good Nancy: Yeah well, I won't keep you any longer then Ava: Uhuh put the blame on me Nancy: oh my god Nancy: you either want to forget this or you don't Ava: I want you to not victimize yourself every five seconds Nancy: yeah? I'd love not to Ava: Bullshit Ava: if you aren't complaining you have nothing to talk about Nancy: that's really constructive criticism, thanks, like Ava: You can't help yourself can you, Christ Nancy: No, my life's mostly a mess & clearly nothing I'm doing is helping Ava: So just fucking think, will you Ava: nothing I said indicated I would want to leave Nancy: I'm not telling you to leave, I'm telling you I'm here Nancy: because I can't come back Nancy: but that doesn't mean I'm not here Ava: Well it does Ava: You haven't been here period so let's not act like that's revelatory to either of us Nancy: I don't need to be in Chelsea to be supportive Ava: Anything you have to say, any advice, is so far removed from my reality Ava: you don't know me, it's insulting Ava: you don't get to offer support and then be offended when it's not wanted or needed Nancy: I'm not offended, upset for sure, but that's because you're right Nancy: I don't know you, so what? Now I just never get to know you ever? That's upsetting Ava: You don't get to dole out advice or act the big sister Ava: especially when that's the last thing I would want Nancy: okay, I'm sorry Nancy: I shouldn't have reacted how I have for basically this entire conversation, but it was a lot Ava: It's fine Ava: it just proves how little you've changed Ava: your first reaction will always be to run and hide and I don't need that in my life Nancy: I had to leave, Ava Nancy: I wouldn't be in your life at all right now if I hadn't done that Ava: You did what you had to for you Ava: it doesn't change that it happened Ava: doesn't mean we can force a relationship now 'cos it weren't your fault Ava: that time's gone Nancy: it's not gone for me Nancy: it affects everything Ava: and I'm sorry for you Nancy: yeah, I know Ava: I can't be expected to fix that for you, no one can Nancy: I know that too Ava: There's nothing more to say Ava: we both got fucked over Ava: it is what it is Nancy: there's just one more thing I wanna say, even though you don't want or need my advice, don't let her ruin anything, whether she comes back or it's just the damage she's already done to that poor fucking lad, like Ava: I can't control her Ava: I can just be there for him now Nancy: Yeah, don't let anyone stop you then Ava: I won't Nancy: Good Nancy: I hope you're both happy, I mean that Ava: Thanks Ava: that's the goal Nancy: It's all mum & dad actually want, they'll calm down eventually Nancy: Buster too, he's a lot calmer these days Ava: They'll have to Ava: he's not doing anything wrong Nancy: it's not me you need to convince Ava: I should probably go do that then Nancy: Right, why waste time Ava: All good fun Nancy: C'est la vie Nancy: if there's a NYC equivalent of that I can't remember it Ava: even New Yorkers don't have culture Ava: still American Nancy: Gays are the only ones who have culture Ava: Bold statement to make about plaid and dysfunction but okay Nancy: what else have I got? might as well Ava: Sure Nancy: she didn't manage to straighten me out even if she took everything else Ava: Any small victory Nancy: Go then, you're shamelessly stalling now Ava: I'm walking Ava: going to the park, I told you I had things to do Nancy: try not to get run over again please Ava: 🙄 Ava: that's nice isn't it Nancy: I'm serious, I was worried Ava: James came and looked after me Nancy: I'm glad, it's shit being alone when things like that happen Ava: They wouldn't have been able to discharge me so yeah Ava: it was good Nancy: he always did seem like less of a prick than the rest Ava: A glowing review Ava: almost sounded like a compliment Nancy: he never joined in with any of it, so yeah, I guess it is Ava: He's a nice person now, that's all I know Nancy: that's all that matters now anyway Ava: Yeah but I'm glad he didn't Ava: obviously Nancy: I wouldn't let him near you if he had, whatever you say or however many flights I'd have to get to keep you apart Ava: Okay, drama queen Nancy: shut up, that one's not my fault, actually genetic Ava: 😂 True Nancy: dad's such a 👑, good lord Nancy: I wonder if they met James when he was friends with Buster Nancy: probably not Ava: He says he doesn't really remember them but I remember Buster's friends being around so Ava: guess saying thank you when you run out the front door isn't really meeting Nancy: Yeah, they always were Nancy: but like you said, mum & dad really aren't so Ava: they were more back then Ava: when I was little Nancy: Sure, they aren't going to rival James' wife in the parenting stakes Ava: It's not even funny Nancy: she never has been Nancy: how she ever thought I could fancy her when she's not no sense of humour Ava: Maybe she is gay Ava: something's making her seriously unhappy and fucked Nancy: She was definitely into Buster too though, I remember that from way before I left Ava: I think she slept with everyone, like Nancy: not him though, his 😍 for Ri were in place before we moved from Cambs Ava: Yeah but I mean, she obvs didn't know that Ava: 'til everyone did Nancy: that whole group were always swapping, it was so gross & weird Nancy: but I was the weird one, okay bitch Ava: Yeah Ava: lots of people still roll like that Nancy: there's a whole gay scene here that's entirely that Ava: A box is a box wherever it is Ava: even if you roll it in glitter and call it culture 🤷 Nancy: & lesbians are ridiculous wherever you find them Ava: we'll leave that at a self-drag Ava: I'm not getting involved Nancy: I'm just saying, I don't wanna be friends with someone who broke my heart, why does that make me weird? Ava: Who's broke your heart this week then Nancy: Unlike you, I was heartbroken in the Seychelles Ava: Duh, you wouldn't have come otherwise Ava: so go on, what happened Nancy: you've pointed out enough of my flaws for one conversation, cheers Nancy: I'm not dissecting my breakup with you Ava: I am busy so ⌚ Nancy: goodbye then Ava: 😂 Ava: I'm not dying Ava: laters Nancy: until you get run over again, yeah? Nancy: seriously, stop walking & annoying me, like Nancy: it's an actual safety hazard Ava: Not to brag but my coordination is great, tah Nancy: being rude to the dyslexic now Nancy: yeah, you can go Ava: 👋

[emeritiii]

OC-tober Day 3: "Old"

To make sure I won't burn myself out on drawing, I took asks for today's prompt! You can find the original meme by charmymemes here (link).

I used my man Felix from Rebelle (Jake from State Farm voice) for all of these. Rebelle is one of the oldest projects I am still actively a part of—Felix was created in 2014 or so, so he's not ancient but hopefully still old enough that I can make retirement jokes at him.

Disclaimer: I only did some instead of all because I ran out of time, but I may come back to it  👁️👁️ (and thank you!)

> OC-tober prompts by bweirdart

# # # # # # # # # # # #

👁️ EYE) He has blue-grey eyes. They aren't extremely striking, but they are usually alert and the most expressive part of his face.

🤥 LYING) He needs to back up his lies with physical actions and false evidence. He dislikes not being honest, and his voice by itself is not very convincing, so he does not stand up well to being questioned. His best strategy is either lying by omission or (the opposite end of the spectrum) setting up an elaborate story with all the details worked out in advance.

👻 GHOST) He doesn't believe in ghosts in the way that a real paranormal enthusiast believes in ghosts, but he does believe that places are figuratively haunted by every bad thing that has ever happened there. The psychological imprint of a traumatic event is just as good as a ghost.

💥 COLLISION) He has trouble dealing with All Emotions. He can get them out of the way by refusing to acknowledge them, but some professionals seem to think that is "maladaptive" and "making the problem worse in the long run."

😭 CRYING) I won't say he doesn't cry—he cried a lot when he was a kid—but it is so rare that only his two closest friends who have known him for years have ever seen him tear up. It would mainly happen when he was frustrated and upset about something he knew he had no control over.

👊 PUNCH) The average civilian would find him quick to violence, but other prominent members of his military unit (cough Hans cough), think he is too lenient. He tries to use the least force possible, but very few people would thank him for only giving them a minor wrist fracture.

💢 ANGER) The habits that tend to bother other people most are talking to himself and pacing multiple laps around camp after being forced to stand still for too long.

👪 FAMILY) His parents aren't around anymore and he was not on good terms with them for most of his life, but his younger sister Roxie is more important than anything else in his life. He may be a touch emotionally dependent on her, which raises a whole slew of issues, but he loves her enough to go straight to turbo hell for her.

😨 FEAR) He uses Fight as a mechanism for Flight—push whatever is threatening him into a position where he can guarantee escape.

💤 SLEEPING) Felix has as much trouble falling asleep as anyone in his setting does. He finds it easier to doze off if Soren, Hans, or Sapphire is nearby, although he knows better than to fall asleep first with Soren and Hans. He also finds it soothing when someone is playing music outside.

🥞 PANCAKE) If he were a breakfast-eater, his comfort breakfast would probably be fried potatoes with an egg over easy and a little diced green chile.

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE) His birthday is 7 April and he hasn't celebrated it since he was a teenager.

🍩 DONUT) He likes anything with honey since that is the easiest sweetener to come by. Sweetened jalapeño cornbread is his go-to.

🍟 FRIES) Since ordering food isn't an option, I'll reframe as cooking for himself versus taking what the camp cook prepares. He hates rations and his stomach resists the venison that makes up a large proportion of the average soldier's protein, but rarely does he have the motivation to cook, so he usually ends up tolerating whatever is available.

☕️ HOT BEVERAGE) He loves hot drinks; he drinks more chicory coffee and lavender tea (courtesy of Sapphire) than he does water.

🍓 STRAWBERRY) He is decent about eating his fruits and vegetables. He won't say no when someone offers him a share of some safe wild berries, especially if they have been traveling or training extensively. He likes kale when someone thinks to grow it.

🍰 CAKE SLICE) Again, it's easiest to come by honey, so he has more experience with honey cake than anything else, but he had a life-changing berry cake once. He isn't picky.

🍧 SHAVED ICE) He has a square of Roxie's baby blanket, which he has embroidered with the family name and stitched into the inside of the jacket of his uniform because he couldn't fathom losing it. Ironically, it has turned a jacket he hates into something he can't relax without.

💐 BOUQUET) Passing on this one because I will not get these done otherwise (lighthearted)

🌙 MOON) He wants to bring his family (as in just himself, his sister, and Soren if he’ll put up with it) back together. He has already killed in pursuit of this, and he would be willing to die for it even though that would defeat the purpose.

🌋 VOLCANO) His temper is much shorter than it seems. He is good at suppressing outbursts but not at all good at actually stalling the buildup of anger.