#well idk about those labels so we'll just see how it goes

[lazysunjade]

M O O N F A L L |

For hours, the dragon had felt every inch of that softness; had lavished in its beauty as it writhed beneath him. He had seen, with his own two eyes, the unveiled truth of the elven kingdom’s youngest son. And he knew now he could never forget it.

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: Hey Nancy: I know you're trying to get away from it all but I can't ask your brother about this and I saw your snaps which literally prove you're the right person to ask Rio: Oof, desperately trying to think if I drunk snapped anything really incriminating now Rio: but no, go on, what's up? Nancy: oh my god no! I'm being the desperate one, okay 🙈🙈🙈 Nancy: idk maybe boys are like REALLY DIFFERENT 🙄🙄🙄 ugh Nancy: Kill me now, right? Rio: Ooh Rio: you've got my attention Rio: spill Nancy: It's not your attention I wanna get though, no offense Rio: 💔😭 Rio: but who Rio: who?! Nancy: oh babe, you know I love you Nancy: but I can't tell you Nancy: That'd be even more embarrassing when I mess it up 🙊🙊 Rio: UGH fine, I'll just have to guess 😘 Rio: So, you want tips Nancy: Yeah Nancy: If only Buster wasn't such a prick, I could ask him but like Rio: Honey no Rio: don't be a freaky twin Nancy: Gross Nancy: He's probably slept with half of New England by now though, is my point Nancy: Girls like him Rio: He's good looking, don't think it's much more than that, babe Rio: well, and he knows it Nancy: Well some of us are clearly ugly and not that bitch Nancy: It's the 🥕 curse Rio: PLEASE Rio: don't let your mum hear that, first of all Rio: and it's a blatant lie so shut up Nancy: PLEASE, you've seen her, past present and future Rio: You look just like her, don't play Nancy: No, I don't!😳 and we're getting off topic Rio: I need more info to be ON topic Rio: where did you meet, where do you meet, what's she like Nancy: School and unavailable is what she's like Nancy: That's why I need your help Rio: Unavailable like she's straight? Nancy: Like she's with someone right now Rio: 😱 Nancy: I know, okay Nancy: don't Rio: Well okay, realistically it's a high school relationship Rio: you won't have to wait that long Nancy: I wish, they're really serious but it's so wrong Rio: most are but if you're gonna try and preach that you're gonna get smacked down, babe Rio: gotta let people make their own mistakes, even if repeatedly Nancy: So just wait? That's your advice Nancy: Alright Rio: You don't wanna get in the middle of a relationship Rio: especially a shit one, trust Rio: so, how do you know she's into you too then Nancy: idk she just goes out of her way to talk to me and be around Nancy: but it's HOW we talk, you know? and look at each other and just Rio: Oh, you've got it BAD Rio: just keep talking and looking, can't hurt Rio: but I wouldn't do anything yet Rio: by the sounds of Nancy: I've never liked someone this much before, it's so annoying Rio: I know, baby Nancy: I guess I can always leave school, it's worked out for you Nancy: I'll just never tell my parents the actual reason, obviously Rio: Yeah, good 🍀 with that Rio: actually find you floating down the Liffey Nancy: Sorry I didn't meet the love of my life when I was a child, like 🙄 Rio: Just that efficient 💅 Rio: no pressure, Nance 😂 Nancy: Ugh Rio: Least your brother doesn't have that on you Rio: every ☁ Nancy: Thank god he's incapable of love Rio: Ooh, harsh Nancy: But true, so also I'm grateful we live in a technological age so there's not crying girls calling the house every few minutes Rio: Your lesbian sensibilities will not allow Nancy: Exactly Rio: 💕 such a sweetie Rio: how could she resist Nancy: Shh Nancy: I'm trying to resist and wait like you told me too Rio: Oi, don't blame me Rio: you're your own woman Nancy: But you know about stuff like this Rio: Oh yeah Rio: my love life is beyond aspirational 😏 Nancy: Like I said, I saw your holiday romance, babe Nancy: I don't feel that bad for you Rio: oh babe, that ain't romance Nancy: I don't need those kind of details thank you Nancy: We'll just call it that Rio: You ain't getting 'em Rio: lady who doth protest too much Rio: if you were, they'd be on the snap Nancy: Gross Nancy: You can 100% keep your hetero exploits away from my line of sight, that's fine Rio: I know you're obsessed with me, you'll overlook the D Nancy: You wish, babe Nancy: I have a new obsession, as discussed Rio: oh no Rio: I'll have to be consoled 😉 Nancy: I'm sure your mystery man will be thrilled Rio: Maybe I'll let ya know Nancy: I appreciate you trying to make me gayer to win this girl's heart but no need Rio: Need to make her gayer Rio: that's the 🍵 Nancy: You don't know that she's not even gayer than I am, excuse you! Rio: I do Rio: I asked if she was straight and instead of yay or nay it was in a relationship Rio: I'm not an idiot, honey Nancy: I'm not gonna label her when idk! Rio: Okay okay Nancy: If she likes me, she likes me Nancy: It doesn't matter if I'm the first girl she's been into or not Rio: Of course Nancy: Who am I trying to convince, me or you? Nancy: Or her Nancy: 💔 Rio: Oh babe Nancy: Outgaying myself with this level of pining though so 🥇🙄 Rio: Can't be beaten, doll 💖 Nancy: Anyway, go get a drink or a tan or something Rio: Coming from the palest bitch? Rio: I know I need to now 😱 Rio: catch me running Rio: 😘 proper talk when I'm back Nancy: 😂 You know that's not how I meant it Nancy: Just that you probably don't wanna look like you spent EVERY second in a hotel room Nancy: Unless you do Rio: 'scuse you Rio: I'm seeing the sights, getting cultured 😂 Nancy: UM OKAY sure Nancy: American's don't have culture, first of all Nancy: But yeah you're clearly enjoying the sights, thanks for rubbing that in 😏 Rio: So true Rio: Imma go get this sun tan lotion rubbed in Rio: peace mama Nancy: Thanks for leaving me with that mental image Nancy: I love you so much Rio: 🧡🧡🧡 Rio: love ya

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: Hey Rio: Hiya babe Rio: what's good? Nancy: I need to like Nancy: ugh idk it's such a bad idea, like I already know Rio: You wanna Thelma and Louise? Nancy: Who wouldn't want that much gay subtext Rio: Susan Saradon is a babe Rio: what's the actual drama then, shitty husbands and creeps at bars assumedly ain't it Nancy: Okay so you know how I have the misfortune of having to share a birthday, well, now he also wants me to do a joint party Nancy: except not Nancy: he wants my share of the guestlist cos he's gone over his own Rio: Seriously Rio: 🙄 Rio: Well that sounds like a nightmare Nancy: Right? Like I don't have to see enough of all his fuckboy friends already Rio: So you've actually got to be there Rio: that's so rude on so many levels Nancy: I might just leave once mum and dad do, it's not like they're gonna stay and chaperone all night Nancy: That's where you come in Nancy: Save my birthday from total ruin, yeah? Rio: They should, last party I went to the house was basically a write-off after Rio: What can I do, obviously I'll do it but catch me up Nancy: Oh Nancy: maybe they will and I will have to stay Nancy: But my original idea was more Thelma & Louise, naturally Nancy: You're the most fun person I know Nancy: and it is Halloween, there's gotta be something else on offer Rio: Yeah, you do live in one of the most exciting places in the world, nbd Rio: of course there's something more fun to do! Rio: I'll start looking now Nancy: You're actually the best ever Rio: N'awh, you're so cute 💖 Rio: see how quick you are with the compliments after I've saved you 😘 Nancy: 😉 Nancy: Who's immune to such blatant heroics? Nancy: If you save me from having to spend a minute at this party you can have anything you want Rio: 😳 Rio: Steady on Rio: I'm good, might not be THAT good Nancy: I was more thinking from my wardrobe Nancy: You're not really my type, cos of the whole related and straight thing Rio: Sure Rio: that whole thing Rio: not gonna turn down a tour of your latest purchases obvs Nancy: That sounds really flirty still but I'll go with the less awkward version of events Nancy: Things are weird enough with this party, like Rio: I can't help being this irresistible, babe Rio: but I won't say it's a date, just a plan Nancy: You're flirting with me but sure, we can both be irresistible, I guess Rio: I am not Rio: Straight and sharing DNA, remember Rio: you only got 1/2 so you're more suss Nancy: A lesbian remember? One convo and you're moving in Rio: 😂 Rio: Won't just do carry on then Rio: tah for the warning Nancy: You're so welcome Rio: Already gonna look so underdressed without being caught without 😱 Nancy: Um with full access to my wardrobe, not for long Nancy: Anything less than utter perfection is not an option if I have to show my face at the party for even half a second Nancy: I'm beyond prepared, and in case you can't tell, beyond STRESSED Rio: I caught that Rio: gurl you're gonna get stress spots if you don't tone it down Rio: you'll look 🔥 Rio: assume it's a costume party? Nancy: God, don't, the girls he invited would love that to happen to me Nancy: especially cos no, it's not Nancy: 🙄 Rio: Honestly, you had one job Rio: such an easy cop-out Nancy: He says no costume could make him look as hot as his labels, that's a paraphrase, I wasn't listening well enough to deliver a direct quote, sadly Rio: 🤢 Rio: Please don't try any harder to remember that was upsetting enough Rio: definitely find something better to do Nancy: Right? I literally get gayer every time he opens his mouth Rio: 😂 Rio: Not a choice but if it was, I get it Nancy: God was like, with him as a brother you've suffered enough Rio: Though it would be funny if you can find a man more unbearable Rio: he'd be fuming Nancy: My dad too Rio: Oh, the male posturing Rio: let me down, if no one else Rio: such a laugh Nancy: Maybe I should have turned this plan on its head and come to you to celebrate Nancy: Get away from it all Nancy: his friends are like clones and nobody thinks that's bizarre Nancy: like the girls are just 😍💘💋 Rio: Match their boys to their bags Rio: weird Rio: we should still do something special for you though Rio: it's your birthday as well, after-all Nancy: Yeah but I'm the weird one, okay then Nancy: It is but I don't feel as if I need to be all 🎉🎂👑 Nancy: He's got that covered Rio: Don't worry, I know your style Rio: and that it ain't his Nancy: He doesn't have any Rio: 🔥 Rio: ice that on the cake, babe Nancy: If ANYTHING was allowed to be homemade I would Rio: Can't imagine your Ma in a pinny, like Nancy: If my dad asked, then maybe Nancy: They are so gross but that's a convo to have in therapy one day Rio: Yeah, that is NOT my present to you Rio: lemme get qualified Nancy: What ARE you getting me though? Rio: No spoilers! Nancy: 😞😞😞 Rio: Surprises are fun Rio: don't be sad Nancy: Never in this house Nancy: But I trust in your gifting abilities Nancy: 🧡 Rio: And I'll bring over all the kids...interesting homemade attempts Rio: what more could you ask for? Nancy: Tell Junior he's so rude for refusing to get on a plane Nancy: It's not a phobia if you just don't want to Rio: Real talk Rio: ride or die until he's scared he'll end up at this party too Rio: bless Nancy: Like, I get it, I don't want to be in Chelsea either but I'd do it for him Rio: I ain't getting in the middle of gay drama Rio: I know better Rio: I could beg on your behalf but we both know, unlikely Nancy: Oh my god, you're not allowed to out him, even to me Nancy: It's a secret that we all know, okay Rio: 🤐 Rio: I do forget he's younger than us, like actually no pressure but also you know NONE of us are gonna be mad so Nancy: So problematic, you'd fit right in at the party actually Nancy: He's an adorable little old man Rio: 😱 Rio: 'Scuse me Rio: don't be starting beef with me, I'm coming Nancy: 😂 Rio: Literally so rude Rio: don't make me flip my hair at you Nancy: Babe please, I can do it better Nancy: Mine's so long now Rio: Alright showoff 😉 Rio: mine would be too if I straightened it Nancy: [sends a show offy hair flip clip but cute like look] Rio: Awh, you look so cute 🧡 Nancy: I look so 🥕 but I make it work Rio: straight 🔥 I swear Nancy: Okay but never use straight to refer to me, thanks Rio: Such a hater Nancy: Of men, exactly Nancy: You would be too if you went to our school though Rio: I can imagine Rio: tory central Nancy: Lord, it's like a timewarp of values but the levels of privilege have kept sky rocketing Nancy: The party's gonna be like Gatsby's except if the green light was shots and nudes Rio: Ahh the irony Rio: How do you stay even slightly sane/normal Nancy: I don't Nancy: They are the 'normal' ones and I'm obviously insane with grief about it Nancy: Oh please let me in your oh so exclusive club so I don't have to hang my head in shame Rio: nah, fuck that Rio: just the lunatics running the asylum Nancy: I hate it here so much Rio: Is there anyone vaguely decent you hang with? Nancy: No Rio: That's so crap Nancy: I'd rather have no friends than fake ones cos there's nobody real around Rio: I feel that too Rio: but its hard having to spend, what, 7 hours a day alone and surrounded by dickheads Rio: hope you're making your weekends worth it, yeah Nancy: I'd love it if they left me alone Nancy: That's what weekends are for, definitely Rio: Enough about those boring bitches anyway Rio: my mum wants to talk to yours, the usual, but they're cool with it so Rio: 👍 Nancy: I'll let her know when she comes in Rio: 🤞 she doesn't talk her ear off so hard she won't let me come like hell no, this fucking family Nancy: I can't even let that be a possibility Nancy: Do you want me to have a birthday breakdown, mum? Nancy: I don't think you have time in the schedule for that Rio: Hit her up with those birthday demands Rio: it's my party and I WILL cry if you don't do what I want, like Nancy: I don't wanna go there but if I have to, I will Rio: 👑 Rio: if there's ever a time to be a tiny bit of a diva Rio: I have to make a fuss or bitches will be tryna skip to Christmas like nah Nancy: That's so rude Nancy: To you and your dad Nancy: Also who in the hell wants to skip to Christmas? It's so stressful oh my god Nancy: Give me all the shopping days, thanks Rio: Seriously Rio: not a grinch or anything, gimme presents then too but come on Rio: attention is the best 🎁 for the eldest of 10, duh Nancy: Do you wanna be the joint guest of honor at this party instead of me? Nancy: As far as attention goes, you wouldn't get more unless you lock Buster in his room or something beforehand Rio: 😂 I know you're not identical but I don't think your ma would appreciate the insinuation that me and him are in any way twinning Nancy: You could wear a costume Nancy: He'd hate that as much as he'd hate sharing the spotlight even a little Rio: No shade but 0 lack of desire to white face Rio: but that's tempting, have I even got time to think of a decent costume though Rio: hmm Nancy: I can't lie, I'd be tempted if I was staying Rio: We so should Rio: maybe we'll need one for wherever we're going once you've made your joint wish or whatever the fuck Nancy: I'm with you on everything except I'm never blowing out candles with him for as long as I live Rio: Jokes, you definitely have enough 💸 for separate wishes Nancy: 🙏 Rio: This will be fun Rio: I'll send you details of anything that sounds good then Nancy: I'll send you any costume ideas I have, obvously Nancy: Thanks Ri Nancy: You seriously are the best Rio: Definitely Rio: and don't mention it, I had nothing good on anyway, this'll be way more fun than whatever lame party I was gonna be at Nancy: I feel like I definitely just complained about my life this entire convo Nancy: Which needs to be mentioned since I didn't even ask how you are or anything Nancy: Like, yeah that's gay culture but you know Rio: Nah, it's your bday, soon Rio: fully in support of that diva ish remember 👑 Rio: and same old same old here Rio: all good Nancy: Yeah? Nancy: Feels like forever since we've had a real life interaction Nancy: I'm glad you're coming Rio: It has been a while Rio: always feels like that since Schools in full swing and sucking the life outta us all like summer never happened Nancy: Unless you're Buster and school's your playground Nancy: I'm honestly surprised he isn't breaking in to have the party there since he loves it so much Rio: When you're gonna peak, gotta make the most, I guess 🤷 Nancy: I wish, you know he's just gonna keep doing better and better Nancy: Failure's not an option, like Rio: Not an option but a reality Rio: all well and good living that mantra and letting it take you as far as it can but I swear, real life is gonna hit him so hard, it won't be good Nancy: Maybe I took his share and mine, that'd be about right Nancy: I'll throw him a party for his mid life crisis though, of course Nancy: What are sister's for Rio: 😂 Can't wait to meet his hilariously age-inappropriate bae and pretend to give a shit about his sports car, like Nancy: I'll show up in mine like hey bro, older, hotter girlfriend in toe Rio: 🙌 Rio: Power moves Nancy: She can drive so I just get to pose even more extra when we turn up Rio: and you just want a driver, lbr 😜 Nancy: You'll thank me for not driving Nancy: The girlfriend who doesn't exist won't when I'm that distracting, though Rio: 😏 Rio: go off boo Nancy: If only that saying was true Nancy: about quiet ones Rio: can be Nancy: I can't even remember how it goes Rio: it's always yous, basically Rio: bit ominous Nancy: Oh Rio: Init Rio: Junie can't be convinced Rio: spent a solid 30 there trying Nancy: He's no longer my best friend, you are Nancy: Next time he wants to know how to let a girl down gently I'm not helping Rio: 💔 Rio: cold, I'll break that news to him gentle tho Rio: old times sake Nancy: My mum's just text me so I'll gently persuade her that you need to like, stay forever Nancy: Easy, obviously Rio: Obviously Rio: with your persuasion skills and her laidback attitude Rio: 😉 Nancy: She's in such a great mood too after another meeting with my form teacher who is himself convinced that Dyslexia only affects working class children Nancy: I tried to tell him that's the stock I'm bred from but he also believes that girls should be seen and not heard, like Rio: Ugh Rio: What a prick Rio: though not that surprised Rio: any issues and the royals hide their kids in asylums so Nancy: They only let girls in during the last century or whatever so he's far to old to have ever interacted with one Rio: Yeah, probs far too invested in the boys if the stereotypes keep ringing true Nancy: Gross but probably true Rio: Someone has to rub 'em down after rugger, babe Rio: 🤷 Nancy: Stop trying to trigger PTSD in me Rio: 😂 soz Rio: jus' sayin' silver lining you don't have to deal with the predatory masters, even if they at best tolerate your existens Nancy: Thank god, since I came out more lads have told me they fancy me than ever before, I'm already inundated and wanna die Rio: Nothing sexier than unavailability Nancy: Nothing sexy about how they show their 'interest' though Nancy: If that's how they approach straight girls I don't know how we've survived as a species Rio: Go on, wow me with their chat Rio: need a laugh Nancy: Most of them don't even bother to speak, their love language is clearly touch Rio: 😬 Rio: Rapey Nancy: It's scary, like Nancy: I thought posh boys were meant to be repressed Rio: Nah, they're THE worst Rio: untouchable in return for all the grabbing they're into Rio: and SO many mommy/daddy issues Nancy: Gross Rio: Fun if you're feeling it for the weekend but yeah Rio: not a mood you wanna marry into really Nancy: If I wasn't gay before I definitely am now you tried to force your tongue down my throat in the middle of the school hallway, thanks so much  🙄 Rio: That's so grim Rio: hope you smacked him Nancy: My brother has essentially one use to me Rio: It's something Rio: don't discount it Nancy: I can't unless I also wanna take up boxing myself Nancy: Not really my thing so Rio: Least you know he gives some shits, yeah Nancy: He likes to hit stuff Nancy: I've always known that Rio: Yeah Nancy: Anyway, I have to go Nancy: If I ignore this deadline it won't Nancy: and the essay won't write itself either Rio: Oh no Rio: lame Rio: but good 🍀 Nancy: Thanks, I need it Nancy: At least until my mum gets back and I can ask her about romantic classicism Rio: I'm too dumb and poor for this shit, sorry xoxo Nancy: I do have the money to buy myself an essay where my brain has failed me Nancy: but I'd have to make it look Dyslexic enough so I might as well just write it Rio: 💔 Rio: Sad times, princess, sad times Nancy: ikr 👑💧 that's my crown of tears not like Nancy: any other liquids Nancy: I'm definitely not putting any sweat into it Rio: 💪 you got this Nancy: I've got 🍀 because of you Nancy: I'll make it work Rio: 🧡🧡🧡 Nancy: xxx