#well eventual taakitz. krav isnt in this chapter but he'll be back in the next one

[castcharmperson]

Speed Trap: Part II

[Start]

Only warning for this chapter is that impersonating an officer is a serious crime. Also Taako is an absolute hypocrite.

It was almost too easy to take one of Lup’s old uniforms from the washing machine. Transforming his car wasn’t even much of a challenge- Magnus owed him a favor after Taako’s starring role in a TV ad doubled the business to his tiny repair shop. Now Taako had lights and sirens at the flick of a switch, but otherwise his car looked the same. The distance and time travelled of other cars were easy enough to calculate into a speed and Taako had the entire police handbook memorized. Everything was good to go.

He left early the next morning again, changing in the back of his car before sitting on the side of the road. Just after rush hour and someone flew by him, easily hitting a hundred. Taako raced after the other driver but his hand hesitated over the switch. Was he really going to do this?

Well, it was this or having Lup find out he lied to her and still couldn’t afford rent this month. The choice was clear.

His siren blared and the other car slowed to a stop on the side of the otherwise empty highway. Taako sat for a bit, telling himself it was to let the other driver feel the heat a little, when really he was the one sweating. Pulling off this act was going to be the hardest part, but at least he wouldn’t be dumb enough to use an accent.

“Ma’am, do you have any idea how fast you were going?”

The short woman looked absolutely panicked, eyes wide and a mess of curly hair. Taako kind of felt bad, but then she started talking. “Oh Officer, I am so so sorry, but I’m so late! Please, I really don’t have time for a ticket but I swear I won’t-“

Taako held up a hand to stop her and she immediately fell quiet. He was glad he’d snagged these wide sunglasses from the mall to hide how wide his eyes went. Sure, he needed the cash, but the power trip from this was a very nice bonus.

“Ma’am, I really don’t have time for every sob story, I think you know that.”

She sighed. “Yeah I know. I just. I have a date and she’s. She’s something else but I got the time messed up and I don’t want her to think I stood her up and my phone has no battery-“

“Jeez, lady okay,” he didn’t want to keep her much longer, “I can let you go without the ticket but think you can, ya know, donate a little something to the Officers’ Holiday Fund?”

She squinted at him. “It’s September.”

“We like to start early. Now you want a ticket or what?”

And just like that, half his debt was paid.

The next speeding car followed not long after. The man was gruff looking and had his heater running, despite the warm fall weather. Taako felt like fire was licking at his face when the window rolled down.

“Sir, do you know how fast you were going?”

“Yeah yeah,” he grumbled, “how much is it going to be?”

Well, this was easier. Taako leaned on the edge of the window and immediately flinched back from the hot metal. “Gonna probably run you close to five hundred, Sir. Going triple digits on this road is pretty bad.”

The man groaned. But Taako continued. “I’ll let you in a secret, though. It’s five hundred if you pay with a check through the mail, processing fees and all. If you’ve got half that in cash on you now, I’ll write it down on my notes here and you’ll be good to go.”

“Really?” The man brightened, already reaching into his back pocket.

“Yup,” Taako grinned. This was even easier than he thought it’d be.

By the end of the week, he made enough money to pay rent for the next three months. Before he realized it, months had passed, yet everything was still flawless. Lup didn’t suspect a thing, Taako was rolling in cash, and no one was getting hurt. The people he was pulling over didn’t need the money like he did- not when they carried so much cash and drove such nice cars. When someone couldn’t pay, he reduced the fee with a wink and a warning. He made his own hours, took days off whenever he wanted, never had anyone to yell at him for being late or taking a smoke break. Honestly, Taako was sure he could do this for the rest of his life- no one was going to on the lookout for a fake cop.

But then it was ten o’clock in the morning and someone was swerving down his stretch of highway. Taako hesitated. Sure, he could probably make a pretty penny off the drunk driver, but the idea of letting them go when he was done felt truly criminal. It wasn’t like Taako could actually make an arrest though. Still, maybe he’d figure out what to do by the time the driver pulled over. He turned on the siren and followed, watching as they clumsily pulled over.

“Good morning, sir. Think you’re in the right state of mind to be driving right now?”

The man behind the wheel grinned up at him. Taako didn’t need a breathalyzer, he could smell the gin on his guy before he rolled down the window. “Officer! Darling, I love your cadence, where you from?”

Taako rolled his eyes. What was wrong with this guy? He was being pulled over for drunk driving and he was hitting on the officer? Taako sighed. “Look, I’ve got a long day ahead of me, why don’t you give me your license and registration?”

The man produced the papers and Taako memorized the information before handing it back.

“I’m not in trouble, am I?” Brian, if the name on the license was accurate, leered at him, leaning on the edge of the window. “Officer, keep this between us and I can make it worth your while?”

Taako raised a brow, even as he was reaching for his phone. Brain didn’t elaborate, but he did reach out and slip a wad of bills in the front pocket of Taako’s borrowed uniform. He took a deep breath, needing every second of the last weeks of this impossible con in order to keep a straight face.

“Yeah, Brain, that’s not really going to fly. I’m going to call some back up now.” He brought the phone to his ear, number already dialed. As expected, Brain cursed him out and drove off, but the cash remained in Taako’s pocket.

“911, what’s your emergency?” Taako had met Ren the dispatcher a few times. She was good at what she did, but she also heard a hundred different voices every day. All he had to do was jump up his pitch and she wouldn’t suspect a thing.

“Uh, like, hi? Look my friend and I kind of started partying too early but then he, like, drove off for no reason! I don’t want him to get hurt!”

“Alright, can you tell me where he was going?”

“His name is Brain and he’s driving a black Chevy Spark down Highway 609 just after exit 7, license plate S41D35”

“Oh, okay. Can I get your name and number in case we lose connection?”

“Gosh thanks so much, bye!!” And Taako hung up. He hid out at the nearest gas station, watching two squad cars race by not five minutes later.

[Part One] [Part Three]

Thanks for reading! Bonus points if you can guess which characters the other two drivers are based on. Check in tomorrow for part three!