#well anyway i bought a dishwasher on a payment plan ^_^ and i have a washing machine now too ^_^ everything gets easier every day forever

[confinesofmy]

i'm so happy i've literally been crying lately. like i feel like anything could happen this year. so happy.

[dresupi]

My very eventful day

I called the electric company to see if I could set up a payment plan since we weren’t going to be able to pay on time (or even a week late), and they said not to worry, just to pay it when we could bc they weren’t shutting off ANY services (including internet) during the COVID crisis. And they even said that they set up their website to take partial payments if I wanted to do that as well. So that was an excellent start to a rather 🙃  🙃 🙃 day.

I found out why I wasn’t getting any royalty payments from the books some of y’all bought.  Turns out, I forgot about having my book up on smashwords back two years ago when I took them all down. There wasn’t a delist feature on smashwords, so I ended up just listing them all for free. Amazon has a creeper that goes out to check prices whenever they sell a book. It’s automated, so when it saw all the books up on smashwords for free, it price matched all my sales to be for 0.00, and therefore, I got no royalties from any of my sales since I’ve relisted my books 🙃 🙃 🙃 But it’s fixed now, so all future sales will result in royalties. 

Our kitchen sink backed up and caused the dishwasher to back up as well, so all our towels are now wet with dirty sink and dishwasher water. Also, we don’t ahve a washer or a dryer so we have to make time to go to the laundromat.  Also also, I can’t go to said laundromat, so really my husband has to make time to do it after work tomorrow and it’s just more 🙃 🙃 🙃  Also have to call my landlady tomorrow so yayfun

My family had a saltfest passive aggressive contest in our family group chat.  It was between four of my siblings, so me and my other sister who weren’t involved were just sitting there like 

buy also

So anyway that was Monday, how are y’all?

[fivenightsatfreddysfanfiction]

Family Matters

Not much is known of Meera, and that’s the way she prefers it, even if it means leaving herself alone in the world. Or perhaps she’s not as alone as she thought?

"...and then the kids went and pulled the pinata down! You should have seen it, they were like little hyenas! I'll send you the video!" a bright tone was easy to hear in the young woman's voice on the phone. Meera smiled as she listened, loading her dishwasher and pressing buttons for cleanup.

"Whose birthday was this?" she asked, the speakerphone picking up her question.

"Letti's; she turned eight. Tia Marie splurged on the party and invited the whole family...!" The voice trailed off into the silence of someone who realized they said too much.

Meera smiled tightly despite knowing the phone wasn't set to video calling. "It's okay. I wouldn't have been able to make it anyway. Looking for a job and all that. Bills to pay," she remarked as casually as she could. "Thanks for sending the video though!"

"Have you... reconsidered changing back?" the voice asked quietly.

"No," Meera shook her head, voice firm and resolved. There was silence in the air between her and the voice on the phone. She took a deep breath and pressed the button to key on the dishwasher. "Tell me what else happened this week. Did Lupe get that book he was after?"

"Oh my god, he wouldn't shut up about it! Okay, so what happened was..."

Meera collected her mail and sifted through the letters. A few late payment notices that she set aside to work with and juggle, offers for credit cards she fed to her scented candle, the usual. There were also a few notes from relatives, last names only marked with a 'C' for privacy reasons, addresses from a post box that wasn't connected to a physical location.

She opened those and was treated to a few store-bought greeting cards, signed by those few cousins that still wanted to keep touch in some way. Well-wishes from the older ones, questions of why she never visits from the younger ones, folded bills of money tucked inside pocket envelopes for assistance.

Meera read the notes, counted the money to see which bill would eat them first, and spent a few minutes afterwards in silent tears, burying her face in her arms as she huddled at the kitchen table.

"What do you plan to do for Thanksgiving?" the bright voice on the phone asked, a hint of concern in her tone.

"Same as before," Meera replied with a shrug. She stretched out her legs before tucking them in underneath herself, curled up in her favorite recliner. She would have preferred stretching out on her sofa but it was currently occupied.

"Eating takeout and watching novellas is kind of sad to do for that day," the voice sighed in exasperation. "Are you sure about not changing back?"

"Did you not see the news about Afton Robotics?" Meera countered dryly. "I'm dead serious about what I did and I'm not changing." She stretched out a leg again and wiggled her toes, watching them pass through the translucent blues of the figure sleeping on her couch. "Anyways, takeout and novellas is okay. I can catch up on the episodes I missed while working."

"How about Lupe and I come over and have dinner with you sometime?"

Meera opened her mouth, then closed it, humming in consideration. "You won't get in trouble with the others for it, Adriana?" she asked after a moment. The other woman laughed brightly, but the tone didn't sound genuine.

"Oh, what does it matter? We're family, prima! We stick together!"

Now she felt irritation flare up. "Oh? Like they stuck together when they decided to cut me out and send me as far from everyone as they could?" she bit out, tears she had bottled up on that day springing up hot and resentful.

"They're just scared. Can you really blame them?" Adriana replied softly. There was the faint scratches of pencil on paper and Meera used the lull in the conversation to rub her eyes dry. She wiggled her toes again, smiling a bit at the figure shifting to 'rest' her toes in a spot to allow more constant contact. "So I'll bring those tamales Papi used to make, I got better at making them, and Lupe will bring arroz, and we can make the rest at your place and have dinner together! Just the three of us!"

"You're actually gonna try that?" Meera asked, one eyebrow raising in disbelief.

"Mhm!"

She decided not to put her hopes on it.

Three applications out and no return calls. Meera sighed into her cup of coffee while Stephanie pat her shoulder comfortingly. Their meetups at Meera's favorite coffee shop were starting to lean more to Steph's favor of paying for drinks when before they had been on equal footing. It hurt but Meera was grateful all the same for being able to go to her calm spot.

"You think people know I'm the one responsible for Afton Robotics imploding like that?" she whispered, looking up at Steph with wounded puppy eyes. The fashion designer sighed and shook her head slightly.

"I doubt it. Your name was never properly registered, right? All they know is a man named Eggs Benedict managed to wreck the place and set off an explosion that took out the front business." She gave a little shrug. "There's not even word of the underground facility being discovered."

Meera sighed again. Small miracle, that. She still wasn't sure if the Master File's source code was still active down there. She hoped not, for people's sakes. Not with the Afton Family's plans for manipulating life and death still in its clutches....

"Have you tried applying for college again? Maybe some education can open more opportunities!" Steph suggested. Meera cringed, clutching her mug closer to herself.

"Kinda dropped out at one point before I took that job at Circus Baby's. I don't think they'd be happy if I came back with debts on my head and acting like I can just pick up where I left off," she replied. Not to mention that she would have to fill out the information honestly and that would raise some red flags in conflict with her identification.

"What about opening your own shop? Teach classes on self-defense?" Steph tried another idea. Meera lifted her head from her slump, blinking as she thought it over.

That could work, if she had the money to start a business. If she started her own, her identity wouldn't matter to anyone but herself and the institutions who were already aware.

"I'll look into it," Meera replied and then waved her hand to shoo the subject away. "So tell me about this guy you've been seeing. Is he cute? Is he sweet? Does he have any available siblings?" She smiled widely at her friend's sputtering and stammering, enjoying the lighter side of their get-together.

"Weeeeeee-" Stephanie had a habit of dragging out words longer than needed, eyes wide and teeth bared in a smile that made Damien bury his face in Ven's chest to escape it, "-should have a dinner party at your place!"

Meera lifted her head from her hand where she had rested it while looking at her letter tiles for the board game the bunch of them were playing. "Huh?" She blinked, lost, then felt a slight headache come on as Steph continued smiling widely at her. "What?"

"A dinner party! We come over with some dishes, cook the rest at your place, and just have dinner together! It'll be fun!" the fashion designer went on cheerfully.

"It'll be cramped," Meera countered, worry flooding into her stomach and making her skin feel cold. "You know my apartment's tiny."

"I had lunch with you there, it's not that small," Steph shot back with a wave of her hand.

"There's not much I have in the way of groceries for cooking," Meera said, fingers fiddling with the tiles.

"Then we'll just bring everything," Ven replied easily, fingers running soothingly through Damien's hair. "Just go with it. You know how Steph can be."

Meera sighed, a faintly exasperated smile on her face. She knew. "Fine, fine. Just give me time to clean up the place. What time are we doing this?" she gave in with a laugh.

Meera stared at the stack of bills and notices until a hand swept them away from her sight. She blinked and looked up at Lucian's stern expression. "You're supposed to be cleaning, not moping," he told her and walked off with the stack in his hand. "I'll put these away. If you can stand there for hours looking at these, imagine how captivating they might be for someone else."

She couldn't help but smile at his words. Scolding as they sounded, she knew the words he actually meant underneath them. Feeling a bit better, Meera went back to dusting off shelves and tables, tidying up her magazines and books, and setting her workout equipment to lock in place for safety.

It used to be she would put on music to keep the apartment sounding lively as she cleaned on her own. The silence otherwise suffocated her and made it to where she could only do small sections at a time before heading out to the garden to relax or watch her shows.

Now she listened to the chatter of her ghostly roommate as he criticized the clutter on her shelves, the clothes she threw into a corner of her room when she didn't feel bothered to put them in the laundry basket, and the lack of maintenance of her vacuum cleaner when he hauled it out to use on the carpet. Meera still had music on, but it was tuned to the energetic dance songs of mariachi bands, giving her the chance to grin and laugh when a particularly nice one came on and Lucian danced to the melody with the vacuum as his partner.

She danced along as she continued her part of the cleanup, feeling lighter than before.

"...and that's why my last commission has a ten-year-old's doodle incorporated in it!" Ven declared with a rueful smile over a glass of mixed juice. Meera found herself laughing along with Steph and Damien at the story.

The apartment was full of sound and warmth from the talking and cooking that had taken place. The dinner table was laden with food, enchiladas and Shepherd's pie and chicken curry and spinach leaf salad and cheesecake. A variety of foods that Meera wouldn't have thought she'd be eating in one dinner had been shared, which made her appreciate her friends that much more.

Stories of childhoods were shared, and Meera shared a few memories of her own, carefully sifting out any unneeded information and focusing on the fun she had playing family games. Sometimes she would wave a hand dismissively whenever Lucian poked his head up from the sofa to squint at her for her words. It didn't matter.

The phone rang, interrupting the group as they portioned out dessert to take to the living room and continue chatting in a more relaxing area. Meera gave it a puzzled look but headed over to pick up. A debt collector? Had her notices and final warnings caught up to her at last?

"Meera~!" Adriana's voice was bright and chipper as always on the phone. She pulled it away from her ear for a moment before daring to hold the receiver close again. "I am sooo sorry! Things came up and I had to babysit some of the cousins and Lupe went out of town for his 'supplies'." Meera gave a sad smile and shook her head in fond exasperation. "I really wish we were able to come by to have dinner with you. I can't stand to think of you out there by yourself. Family matters, no matter what the others in it think!"

By herself...?

She blinked, confusion on her face. That's right. She'd been sent out to be on her own, away from family that could be dragged down because of who she chose to be and the path she took in life. And yet...

Meera looked over at the group of people that had come into her life since moving to the town to live on her own. There was her ghostly companion talking casually with Damien about the Shepherd's pie and cheesecake he'd brought, eyes glancing up to check on her now and then. There was Ven, smiling happily as he bit into a forkful of cheesecake and flicked through the channels on her television for something they could watch. There was Stephanie, watching her with concerned eyes as if sensing her discomfort as easily as her twin could.

"Everything all right, Meera? We're setting up to watch a movie as soon as I get the remote away from Ven," Steph called out.

"Eh? Who is that? You have guests over?" Adriana remarked in surprise, and Meera returned to her phone call, a more genuine smile on her face.

"Oh, I have some friends over," she replied, "We had dinner and we're about to watch a movie. I'll talk to you and Lupe another time, all right?"

"Uh, of course! Have fun!" Adriana told her brightly and Meera put the phone down before hurrying back to collect her serving of cheesecake and join the group for movie night.

Family mattered to her, but to Meera, her friends were family too. Maybe one day, she'd have the courage to share with them the truth of who she was, but for now, this warmth and love chased away the chill of loneliness. For that, she was grateful.

END