#welcome to tab's so sick that she's basically drunk thoughts

[tabl3]

girls r so neat

[sleekervae]

The Neighbour [0.7]

Masterlist

The sun was high in the sky, bright and casting everything in a flattering golden light. The grass blades beneath Eva's body pricked at her fair skin and Remington's hair tickled her spine, the May heat was blazing but she was happy as she proofread her latest article.

Remington had his white heart-shaped sunglasses on, and Eva was sure he must've been asleep from how still he was. She broke her attention from her laptop and looked over her shoulder, stormy blue eyes gliding over the expanse of his torso and the many tattoos that were like a gallery to his world. A gallery that she had the pleasure of enjoying just for herself.

With a sharp intake, Remington stirred when he felt he was being watched. And when he saw Eva's delicate face looking back at him, he smiled back, face thick with sleep but he looked happy.

"What are you looking at?" he asked.

"Just checking on you," she replied coyly, "You comfortable?"

"Yes I am. Had no idea you made such a good pillow," he grinned, to which Eva simpered amusedly, "How's your article coming?"

"Just proofing before I send it," she said.

"How much you getting for it?"

"Seven hundred and fifty bucks"

He gave a stirring whistle, settling down against her flank and closing his eyes, "Make that money, Eva,"

Eva was quiet as he nestled down again, but she kept her eyes fixated on his body. She admired the way the light bounced over the sunscreen-slick film on his skin, and how effortlessly pretty and cool Remington looked in contrast to the lush green grass beneath him. The tips of her fingers brushed at the cooler blades beneath her chest, fighting the urge to reach over and touch the ink on his bicep.

And just like that, a new poem jingled in her brain and sprinted to her fingertips. The poem was drafted in minutes, and as Eva read it over and over to herself she was at a loss as to whether she should publish it to her blog. She knew Remington had looked at her poetry, and she wondered what he would think if she posted a piece about him. Or what his fans would think if they happened to find her blog. Would people even know it was about him?

Nevertheless, she took another glance at his rising and falling chest. In her lens she looked at him like a muse, a piece of art that she wanted to record and worship with her words. And that feeling made her nervous.

... But it also had her simmering with excitement.

"You're still staring at me," he suddenly said, a mischievous smile spreading across his face.

Eva rolled her eyes, though a sheepish grin spread across her own lips as she pushed her laptop across the grass, "Let me up,"

Remington's eyes snapped open again as he lifted his head so Eva could get to her feet, "You alright?" he asked.

"I'm just gonna' get something drink. You want anything?" she replied.

"I'm good," he threw his hands behind his head as he laid back down in the grass, "I'll guard your computer for you,"

Eva chuckled, "You're so brave,"

"Aren't I?"

Eva slipped her tank back over her bikini top, rubbing at the hot spot where Remington's hair had prickled over her skin. Her hand seemed to shake as she pulled back the glass sliding door, quickly slipping inside and finding Emerson sat on the couch with his notebook and variety of charcoals. Pepper was sleeping at his feet, but she perked up and tried to crawl to the top of the couch when she heard Eva's footsteps.

Emerson turned to his neighbour, "You okay, Eva?"

"Yeah," the small brunette replied, "Could I grab some water?"

"Of course," he smiled, "You know where the glasses are,"

"Thanks," she grabbed herself a glass of cold water and headed back for the door, stopping when she peaked over Emerson's shoulder and gazed in awe at the gothic victorian architecture covering two full pages in his journal, "That's so sick,"

"Thanks," he replied happily, "Did Remington tell you about our graphic novel?"

"He did. Did you illustrate everything?" she asked incredulously.

Emerson shrugged sheepishly, "I had a lot of help. I'll let you read the first copy that comes out, if you'd want"

"That would be awesome,"

It was then an idea stirred in the back of Emerson's head, "Do you write any fictional stuff?"

Eva shrugged, debating whether she should bring up her fanfiction hobby, "... I've dabbled,"

Emerson smiled, "Well, I'm planning to make these into a series. When we start drafting the next volume, would you want to work on it with us?"

Eva's heart nearly leapt into her throat, "You serious?"

"Why not?" he shrugged, "It's always more fun working with friends, anyway,"

Eva's face flushed, "Emerson, I'm honoured! I'd love to work with you guys,"

Over in the backyard, Remington shifted and sat up from his nap. He blinked his eyes a few times to get used to the sudden influx of light, then focusing in on the shadowy silhouette of Eva and Emerson in the house. He watched her smile, and the hand that wasn't holding a water glass came to rest on her chest. He wondered what they were talking about: probably art, the pandemic, the album party that was coming up this week.

Or was it possible that they were talking about him?

Remington took a glance at her macbook, the screen having just fell asleep. Curiosity got the better of Remington, he wondered why Eva kept glancing at him between her writing. He checked again and Emerson and Eva were still having their conversation, and Remington reached over and tapped the touchpad, bringing the laptop back to life. Eva's main page was her article about dog fighting and the people who ran these gambling rings, but Remington clicked on the open Tumblr tab. A draft of a new poem stared back at him, and before he knew what he was doing he was reading it word-for-word.

"You sleep soundly, protected by the company of

snakes, angels, and demons.

They guard your organs, flesh, and muscles.

Without moving eyes they watch the world pass you by

While you're none the wiser, drunk on beer and sunstroke.

The breath that leaves you fans over a crest of regality, valiance,

The summer grass tries to scratch away the frowns of the skulls on your arms,

You've come too far to continue to be sad.

At least, that's the impression I get.

I like your homage to the illuminati: that little triangle below your intestine

forever searches for lies and enlightenment.

Or maybe you just decided that it looked cool?

And I love that angel, clinging to your spine as you dive into the four corners of hell

Yet it drags you back to the surface, reminding you of the better qualities you have

that overshadow the bad ones.

Your body is a gallery, and I've bought myself a ticket.

I only planned to take the basic tour, a brief introduct --"

Remington quickly clicked back to Eva's article when he heard the door sliding open again, but Eva had caught him snooping. She looked down at him quizzically.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her standing figure blocking out the searing sun.

Remington glanced back at the screen, "Reading about the bastards who exploit defenseless animals and force them into fighting for monetary gain," he replied quickly, "Very profound work,"

Eva had the mind to know he was spouting straight bullshit, but she didn't press on, "Thank you," she set down her water glass and started to pull off her shorts.

"Your thirst quenched?" he asked.

"Yes, and now I'm going to go for a swim," she smiled, "You're more than welcome to join me,"

Remington sat back as her tank top fell to the ground, revealing the small flower tattoo on her ribs peeking out from the band of her bikini. Eva stood at the edge of the pool, shook out her hair, and dived head first into the crystalline water. Remington smiled to himself as he stood up, his heart thrumming as fast as a hummingbird could bat its wings when as the words he read fluttered behind his eyes.

She was writing a poem about him.

Eva emerged from the water just as Remington took a running start, and without warning, cannonballing into the water beside her. As she wiped the water from her eyes more had splashed over her head. Remington broke out of the water seconds later, laughing when he saw the scowl on Eva's face.

"You're so fucking chaotic!"

"You love me,"

The album was to drop this Thursday at midnight, and they were going to stream and celebrate its release at Sebastian's place with a party. A small party, with Daniel, Andrew, their mom, and their girlfriends.

And of course, Eva had been invited.

Remington assured her it was just going to a small casual affair, and all she needed to bring was her "gorgeous smile". Those were the words he used. Nevertheless, Eva had a constant flutter in the pit of her stomach as Thursday neared; annoyed because no matter what she pulled out of her closet she seemed to have nothing to wear, and popping advil because her period decided to pay her an early visit the morning of the party.

Remington continued to check Eva's Tumblr and Instagram pages now and again, wondering if she had posted the rest of that poem. He felt a little guilty about snooping, and he wondered what her reaction would be if she knew he had looked. Or perhaps she already knew that he had and she was only letting it slide because she didn't want to talk about it. And as he stood in the shower on the morning of the party, not snapping out of his thoughts until Emerson banged on the door loudly for his turn, Remington began to realize he wanted Eva so much more than he should have for a friend.

Pluto lay diligently at the foot of Eva's bed while she worked, wearing a face mask to hopefully keep her period acne at bay. She read through her most recent poems, a shiver crawling up her spine every time she read them. It was scary because within the last few days, she realized Remington had become the muse she examined and picked apart in her pieces. It wasn't that she hadn't written about boys before, she had, but they didn't elicit the same excitement Remington did when he touched her; or when he was even near her.

In the two and some months she had come to know him, Eva's world had grown so small and yet exploded so suddenly in such little time. Remington was a firecracker of wild colors that splattered across the folds of her brain and drew her into him like a moth to the light. She wanted to watch him move, work, and no matter what she wanted to make him smile. After listening to his music, she knew how badly he needed to be happy. And there was a part of her that wondered what it would be like; how would he be with her if they started a relationship? What's it like dating a rockstar? She imagined the day-to-day wouldn't be very different from how they were now: great friends just one step further on the scale of intimacy.

The more she thought about it, the more she wanted it. She wanted him.

✧✧✧

Remington's tongue tingled as he approached the complex courtyard in the late evening, his gaze flying to her balcony to hopefully get a small glimpse of Eva. He smashed the call button for her apartment and waited for her sweet voice to pick up.

"Yellow!" she answered happily.

"It's your friendly neighbourhood psychopath," Remington smiled as he spoke into the speaker.

Eva chuckled, "Come on up! I got the door open,"

The front door clicked and Remington slipped inside, his mask over his face as he waved to the landlord who was too nose deep in his newspaper to give a damn about him.

He pulled his mask down and knocked first before entering Eva's apartment, first being greeted by Pluto who leapt out of his bed and began to rub himself against his pant leg. Remington scooped him up in his arms.

"It's good to see you too, buddy!" he cooed at the cat, "Are you coming to the party with us? Maybe if we ask nicely your mom will take you?"

Remington's attention diverted from Pluto when he heard Eva walk in from behind. Turning around, any words he had were suddenly stuck in his throat when his eyes fell over her. Just when Remington thought she couldn't look any more gorgeous, she blew all his expectations out of the water in a body-hugging black, white, and red plaid dress, white sandals on her feet and her short hair loose and wavy. She only had on mascara and some eyeliner, but in his opinion, Eva didn't need any more than that.

She was absolutely beautiful.

Her smile faltered when Remington hadn't said a word, not even a hello, "... You're looking at me weird," she said, bordering on panic as she glanced at her dress, "Do I look weird? 'Cause I can go change --"

Remington quickly snapped out of it, "N-No! You're fucking gorgeous," he gaped, "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare like that --"

"No, it's okay," she assured him, smiling sheepishly as her heart skipped a beat, "You look really good, too. Yellow suits you nicely,"

Remington chuckled, continuing to cradle Pluto as he glanced at his pants, "See -- me and Emerson got into a debate. I say they're yellow, he think they're lime,"

Eva shrugged, "Regardless, they're on the citrus spectrum," she grinned, going to grab her purse, "Are you sure I can't bring anything? Like a bottle of wine, or --"

"Nope! Seb's got all the alcohol we'll need," he replied, "You can bring Pluto if you want, though. Emerson's gonna' bring Pepper,"

"He's better off here where I know he'll be safe. Over there, I'll constantly be worried if he's trying to tear up the carpet or... or eating another shoe," Eva shook her head.

Remington shrugged as he set Pluto down, "Just as well, I don't think he and Pepper like each other," he said.

"Oh really? What gave that away?" Eva asked in mock disbelief, "The constant hissing, the yapping, the growling? The cat's staying here,"

"Sorry bud, I tried," he said to Pluto. The tabby spun his tail before striding off back to his bed.

Eva took a deep breath and stared up at the ceiling, "He'll be fine," she sighed.

Remington cocked his head, "You okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded quickly, "It's that time of the fucking month again and my stomach does not like me,"

He swallowed with uncertainty, "... It's just a period thing, right? You're not losing taste or smell or anything, right?"

"No, it's just a period thing," she assured him, "I'll be fine. I feel like shit, but I just need some fresh air and some good music,"

"Lucky for you, I can provide all of those things. And just to reiterate, you look fantastic," he said.

"You're sweet," she smiled, slinging her denim jacket on and clutching her purse, "Shall we?"

"We shall," Remington quickly held the door open for her, "After you, my lady,"

"Why thank you, kind sir,"

[drink-n-watch]

  Welcome back one and all. Have you been looking forward to this week’s Demon Slayer? We were right in the middle of a deadly fight after all. Sort of an awkward place to leave things. I know I wanted to see the conclusion. How about you Crow?

Absolutely (I say in bold print)! And — I don’t think is a spoiler or anything — we even get a brief replay of the final moments of the battle. In case we forgot. True to form!

Where are my manners… As always, I will be having the pleasure of discussing this episode with my friend Crow of Crow’s World of Anime and of course all of you! Not that there’s all that much to spoil, but we’re going to go into the episode in some detail, so if you haven’t seen it yet and don’t want to be spoiled, I suggest you tab out for half an hour or so and go watch it, Crow and I will wait. Also, I’m in plain text this week!

Are you proud of me Crow? I finally learned how to put all the proper disclaimers at the beginning of posts!

You can’t hear, but I’m clapping in appreciation. I knew you could do it!

I can hear it in my heart

Episode 9 wasted no time, we were brought straight back to Tanjiro and Yahaba

desperately trying to murder each other. I thought Yahaba was an interesting character, or at least potentially interesting. You know — interesting design, interesting power the creepy calm cryptic type. Triple C! But well, it turns out he was already done for! Were you hoping to see more of him, Crow?

Perceptive question! Yes, I was. There were hints of character richness there, to the point where I expected him to not be dead. It was only when his skull began to actually disintegrate that I figured yep, he’s dying.

awww man, that’s gonna leave a mark

I’m not sure exactly how it works but I’m assuming the water that Tanjiro summons is considered an extension of his blade since it could kill a demon. Did we get an explanation?

Not that I saw, but I agree with your theory. His sword’s water effects must be an extension of the blade, at least insofar as it affects demons. Back in episode 7, we saw his water powers rip the two under water (well, under swamp) demons apart, and they stayed dead. So I guess it’s the same thing?

I thought it was because they were shades maybe?

Despite get summarily dispatched, Yahaba actually managed to put up quite a fight for the few seconds he was still standing (well, less standing and more lying about evaporating…). I quite liked the aftermath. Like isn’t the right word. Seeing Tanjiro barely able to move from exhaustion and injury after his fight, just laying on the ground wheezing, went a long way to drive the impact of the confrontation home. I could almost feel it along with Tanjiro and what I felt was a great deal of relief with a sprinkle of pity and melancholy.

Wasn’t that great? So often, heroes walk away from a battle with a cut or a scrape. Tanjiro got pummeled, and he looked it. Were you impressed by how dedicated he was to getting to the other side of the compound where his sister and new friends were fighting? He took the sword in his teeth because his arms were too tired. Kinda reminded me of Violet Evergarden!

ok!

But of course, that was just half the story. Over on the other side of the grounds, the rest of them were trying to deal with Susamaru. I was a bit confused as to why Tanjiro was so panicked about this. Sure, Susamaru is very strong, but hadn’t they determined that she was weaker than Yahaba? And these were 3 demons she was dealing with. Then I remembered that Neuko was seriously injured, Tamayo seems to be a non-combatant, and my favourite Yushiro just grew back his head. Yeah…there may be some trouble there.

As happy as I was to see Nezuko alive and kicking(ha!) again, I have to say completely healing her off camera like that felt like a cop-out. Not only does it seem that she instantly recovered, but she can now kick those tamari without losing a foot, for… reasons. That’s a bit convenient wouldn’t you say, Crow?

If I had to point to one serious disappointment in this episode, it was that moment. You’re right! And as evidence, remember how Yushiro freaked out in the previous episode when Nezuko even looked like she was going to try to kick the ball? Sure, Tamayo said her serum gave Nezuko a power boost without human blood, but it seemed pretty dang convenient.

Though you’re also right about something else: Their soccer footwork!

just try to get one past me!

I liked that lightening of the mood by turning a battle for survival into soccer practice, it was a cute scene.

It was interesting seeing Susamaru gaining respect for Nezuko’s footwork!

Despite the fact that things seemed to be going quite well, Tamayo was worried. We learned two important facts. 1) Nezuko is gaining strength at a prodigious rate, especially considering she’s never eaten human flesh (allegedly) and 2) Susamaru was quite literally toying with them and Neuko wouldn’t stand a chance against her real strength. And so it was time for a grown-up to step in.

that hir is so perfect

Tamayo has been playing it coy. Standing back and acting very delicate. But she hasn’t survived all this time in defiance of Kibutsuji because she’s anything resembling weak. Her poise, power and words ripped through the unfortunate demon before she could realize what was happening. And those words struck a chord with me as well. Crow, do you think Tamayo was just trying to get under her opponent’s skin or was there some truth to that story of Kibutsuji living in fear? If so, it makes the character even more interesting!

There’s a lot to decompress from that moment, isn’t there? First, Tamayo has really impressed me. What a tragic character who chooses not to wallow in that tragedy but decides instead of fight in her own way to rid the world of a terrible evil. That’s noble stuff! Yes, I think she was trying to get under Susamaru’s skin (and doing an admirable job of it!), but I think there’s some truth to what she was saying. Remember in episode 8 where Kibutsuji was able to shrug off plain rudeness, but lost his temper completely when the poor drunk dude quested his unhealthy appearance? There was something driving that reaction, and I think it might have been an almost paranoid level of fear.

Good point…he did hate being called sick… hhmmm…

he’s afraid of responsibility!

Turns out the blood spell Tamayo was casting activated the Kibutsuji demon cells in Susamaru’s body and essentially destroyed her from within. Visually it was a visceral scene and possibly the most gruesome to date. It’s going to stick with me. And Tamayo calmly explaining that she had never been one of the 12 demon moons because she didn’t have a number on her eyeball, while pointing to sais stray eyeball on the floor, certainly didn’t make it any less gruesome!

[ A question: Was it merely Tamayo’s spell, or was there actually a curse from Kibutuji, where if a demon speaks his name, his cells within them rip them apart? Wasn’t Tamayo’s goal to goad her into speaking the name? I think that’s what I got from Tamayo’s description…]

I do know Kibutsuji’s curse gives him control over those who have his blood ad his cells eventually kill them. Didn’t they mention something about him keeping his identity secret and therefore making it impossible for other demons to give him away. That’s why the teeth grinding guy was so panicked a few episodes ago. I’m guessing that basically extends to speaking his name out loud. That’s how I’m taking it… I guess he is very paranoid!

Crow thought we should take his questions out but it’s good

Was that horrifying and pitiable all at the same time or what? The two demons had been deluded into thinking they were powerful and on the inside with the demon they revered, but nope.

In the end, Susamaru went like all the major demons have gone so far. Small, scared and pathetic. A lost child who ended up and a very wrong path. I understand why they are setting up this moral dilemma, trying to build up sympathy for the demons, but can’t we just have one of them that’s an actual bad guy? At this rate, I’m going to end up having a really difficult time cheering for the Demon Slayer Army.

Tanjiro’s parting words here were the final nail in the coffin (um sorry, poor choice of expression). There is no salvation to be had for demons. Their sins are too great, the burdens upon their souls cannot be lifted. A tragic realization that is sure to make Tanjiro even more eager to find a cure for Nezuko.

how? 

I continue to like Tanjiro’s reactions. His push to understand puts him at odds with most of the other demon slayers we’ve met. At odds with the demons, too. He’s doing his own thing and he’s trying to maintain his core humanity at the same time. Tough balancing act.

You’d think that with those intense battles out of the way and all the useful exposition we got, the episode would be basically over. Nothing left but a quick, sweet wrap up to tie everything together in a nice little bow and send the audience away with a smile on their faces, ready for episode 11. In a way, it did exactly that! But it also did much more.

It was my favourite part of the episode.

Oh! Oh! I’m looking forward to this, because it was my favorite part, too! Go on!

all the cuteness

My two favourite characters are Yoshiro (because I love comedy relief and a proper foil character) and Nezuko (because I’m predictable). They both played important roles in this part. Yoshiro’s various intensely exasperated faces at getting patted on the head by Neuko, or at the horror of potentially taking Nezuko with them, were so much fun to watch. By contrast, the mundanely painful sight of seeing him wasting away from disease brought all the death we’ve been seeing back down to a terrifyingly relatable level.

What Irina didn’t tell you is that Tanjiro joined the other three in the basement after he’d finished with his vigil to watch Susamaru finally turn to ash. As soon as he entered, Nezujo ran to him and threw her arms around his neck. A perfect “awwwww!” moment. Then, she ran back down the hall and did the same thing to Tamayo! Even better, she patted Yushiro on the head! There was almost too much adorable in the room at that point!

awwwww indeed

For her part, Nezuko seems to almost be taking advantage of the suggestion she’s under. Relishing in seeing her family again. Overflowing with love for everyone in the room. Of course, the interesting part is that Tamayo and Yoshiro are not in fact human at all. But she’s decided to see them as such and therefore as part of the family. Which begs the question, how much is imposed suggestion, how much is willful self-delusion?

I really liked that Tanjiro finally addressed the question directly and acknowledged that he was uncomfortable with the situation as well, but that he’s accepted it because it seems that Nezuko has retained her free will. Thank You! That makes me feel so much better for some reason. Now we can all move on!

That free will bit? That was everything. It seemed to me that Nezuko is capapulting her mind off delusion into a greater truth: that Tamayo and Yushiro, by virtue of their choices, are in fact part of her family. It makes them human in the sense of members of the human community. I love that message!

when the lies are so sweet….

Tamayo and Yoshiro will be leaving town out of precaution, and Tamayo invites Neuko to join them, as they will know how to take care of her. Yoshiro is the one to watch in this scene. Despite acknowledging the wisdom of the offer, the siblings decide to stick together and Neuko runs out the door. Just as Tanjiro s about to run after her, Yoshiro calls him back and staying with his back to Tanjiro the entire time, admits that his little sister is a real beauty.

How adorable was that moment?

Very, very adorable! And did you see who drove the decision for them to stay together? Tanjiro wavered. He wants her to be safe as desperately as he wants her to stay beside him! But Nezuko took his hand and gave him a look that spoke volumes. It’s as articulate as I’ve seen her be so far!

that face!

If I remember correctly, Zenitsu was your favourite right Crow? Want to tell us about the closing scene?

Cool — thanks! Zenitsu is among my favorite characters in this series — and the list is growing! But, poor Zenitsu! Tanjiro’s on his way to his next assignment — his Crow being a real pest like only we Crows can be — when both of them stop because they hear this tearful voice. It’s Zenitsu! He’s begging this bewildered and disgusted girl to marry him because he could die at any time!

Zenitsu needs to work on his communication skills…

Where was his birdy?

Few away in embarrassment?

good guess

And another great episode down. Demon slayer has been consistently entertaining and does not seem to be losing momentum at all. I wish Tamayo and Yushiro could have stuck around a bit longer but I bet we’ll see them again. Any closing thoughts?

Isn’t Tanjiro supposed to gather tissue samples for Tamayo? Shouldn’t he have her forwarded address or something? Other than that, I’m still thinking of Tamayo’s tears as Nezuko hugged her!

Previous episode reviews

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 01: Cruelty

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 02: Crow will protect me

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 03: Sabito and Makomo

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 04: Final Selection

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 05: My Own Steel

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 06: A Friend fo All Humans

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 07: Muzan Kibutsuji

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 08: The Smell of Enchanting Blood

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 09: It’s a Whole New Ballgame

Hooray for more pictures!

  Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba Episode 10 – A Friendly Game of Kickball Welcome back one and all. Have you been looking forward to this week’s Demon Slayer? We were right in the middle of a deadly fight after all.

[hgfstreamchats]

Christmas Eve Eve Stream

Welcome to the 'highglossfinish' room. Knock Out: To you too! blythe1: Hey all Knock Out: Hello there! thenightetc: Hi! thenightetc: Don't know why chat wasn't working there Knock Out: Livestream hates Christmas, clearly. thenightetc: Apparently! blythe1: Livestream will be visited by three ghosts tonight to rediscover its love for Xmas. blythe1: I've lived in worse towns. thenightetc: ...Oh, right, and you put the wrong link in the post. thenightetc: Left out the "original." at the beginning Knock Out: Let me fix that! Knock Out: There we are. Thank you for letting me know! Shockbox: Ah. Shockbox: Of course. Shockbox: Good evening, folks. thenightetc: Good evening. blythe1: Hi Shockbox Knock Out: Good evening! blythe1: We need a robot who looks good in red with an ever happy smile to be Santa, Knock Out do you know someone like that? Knock Out: I may know a mech. Knock Out: But I demand my own Christmas special. blythe1: If only.

thenightetc: They didn't think this through very far. Shockbox: The height of comedy. Shockbox: Hm. If I recall correctly, I only saw the very end of this episode last year. Knock Out: There's a reason it's a yearly staple! Shockbox: I think I understand that now. Shockbox: Here we are, I recall this. thenightetc: I do like that ending. blythe1: I like a show with a nice clear moral Shockbox: It's decent. Shockbox: So, what's this about a calf? Knock Out: Also a tradition. blythe1: I;m curious about that cockatiel thing there! thenightetc: Oh no. Knock Out: And of course, the drugged children. thenightetc: Honestly, days should all be silent, too. blythe1: I kinda want to ask those kids to blink twice if they need help. Knock Out: When Breakdown and I first heard it, that's what we thought was she was saying. blythe1: This is GENIUS!!!! thenightetc: Good content. Knock Out: Birds certainly are...something. Shockbox: //Clasping hands together. Shockbox: Agreed. Shockbox: Ah, it briefly sang jingle bells. Clearly this is a christmas video. Shockbox: Very relevant to this stream. Knock Out: 100 percent. blythe1: Thank you KO! Knock Out: Of course! Shockbox: Oh, this looks vintage. Shockbox: Early 2000's? Knock Out: 1997, apparently. Shockbox: Close enough. blythe1: It has the voice of Blanche from the Golden Girls in it. That can't be recent. blythe1: Sounds like he ought to have wished for a newer truck. thenightetc: Oh, great. Knock Out: Grandpa's consideration for his disabled grandson's comfort is something to behold. Knock Out: Just bring the barn children along so they can snuff out matches on him between songs. Shockbox: //A gentle sigh. thenightetc: I know, right? Knock Out: They look like siblings. Shockbox: How is that canine waving with its ear? Knock Out: Something demonic. Shockbox: I am under the impression that all of the fauna presented are not of earthly origin. thenightetc: Don't nail boards to your child. Shockbox: ...I /must/ wonder what Soundwave would think of this..."Representation". thenightetc: Whooops, I guess Aunt Agnes has been drinking too much eggnog. blythe1: Finally a character I can empathise with, where is that 2nd bottle of wine. thenightetc: The hell? blythe1: Oh, wait. Nope, Can't empathise with a childkidnapper. Although I can empathise with her being a pennypincher. Knock Out: She should have had more eggnog. She wouldn't care so much about childnapping. blythe1: Now that is a message I can get onboard with, KO blythe1: Eggnog for everyone. Shockbox: The barn burnt down, but luckily, every animal in it survived. Shockbox: Those are not ears, I'm thoroughly convinced they're some type of arm. blythe1: Oh. Did anyone read about that fire at London Zoo this morning? It didn't have as happy an ending, they lost an aardvrk and 4 meerkats. It was so sad. thenightetc: Oh no! Knock Out: Well, that's depressing. thenightetc: ...This just took a turn for the surreal Shockbox: Hm. Knock Out: Why couldn't these animals have died in a fire instead? Shockbox: I'm sure this old mythical man has plenty of time to stand around to talk on christmas eve. thenightetc: ...What. Shockbox: The horse is flirting with that human. blythe1: There was once a guest on Jerry SPringer who claimed his horse was flirting with him Knock Out: Of course he did. Shockbox: Was he one of those..."Bronies"? blythe1: This was pre-Brony era. But he did marry his horse live on air and kissed it. Shockbox: I...See... Shockbox: I see Blaster landed himself a voice acting gig. blythe1: Well that cockerel just volunteered to be Sunday Dinner. blythe1: Just a PSA, kids. Never Drink and Drive. thenightetc: oh boy Shockbox: This family is a mess. Shockbox: ...You can't gift the calf, she's sapient. thenightetc: I think this is one of those uncomfortable universes where they're not aware of that. thenightetc: After all, it's a "secret" that they can talk Shockbox: I suppose Santa of all people wouldn't be against slavery. blythe1: Seems like the drunk aunt might have a point? thenightetc: Well, NOW there's no passing it off. Shockbox: ...The pig just spoke in front of all of them. Knock Out: He goes into the house and writes a small novel about it. Shockbox: He's shown to be literate, after all. blythe1: I feel like this raises many questions, especially about the food system in this universe. thenightetc: You know they're raising that pig to eat him. Shockbox: Too many 'talking animal" universes have this problem. blythe1: Again, I feel like drunk aunt Agnes might have a point. blythe1: again blythe1: I mean, nothing wrong with a second opinion from a specialist. thenightetc: AT some point they're probably going to be shown eating meat. thenightetc: And nobody will comment. blythe1: We've already seen them leaving milk out for Santa Knock Out: That's probably why grandpa impregnated Annabelle's mother. Knock Out: ...Had her impregnated. Shockbox: .....Knock Out.... Knock Out: It's out there. Now we all have to live with it. Shockbox: Primus. blythe1: Lives on a farm, can't identify a cow. Shockbox: She's two days old, maybe back off? Knock Out: You're all talking because a fat man sprayed you with magic dust. Shut up. Shockbox: Oh here we go. Shockbox: Obligatory musical number. blythe1: This reminds me entirely too much of the song sequence from Watership Down. Knock Out: Dear Unicron, you're right. caffienatedconfetti: henlo Shockbox: Greetings. blythe1: Hi caffienatedconfetti: what are we watchin Knock Out: Annabelle's Wish. Shockbox: Deranged Calf Show caffienatedconfetti: is it any good? Knock Out: No. thenightetc: Uhhhh Knock Out: Can't fences be mended? thenightetc: This doesn't seem legal blythe1: I feel like that should require a court order. caffienatedconfetti: that is definitely illegal Shockbox: This shouldn't be legal at all. Shockbox: It's a few pieces of wood. blythe1: Not to mention even I could have fixed that fence. All it needs is wood and nails. caffienatedconfetti: heck i coulda fixed it and i don't know anythin about fences blythe1: He could get those from dissassembling one of the porch benches Shockbox: "You touched my flimsy pieces of wood? Well, I guess I'll just take one of your food sources without your consent." caffienatedconfetti: NO caffienatedconfetti: NO caffienatedconfetti: NOT THIS thenightetc: ...A calf is definitely more valuable than a music box caffienatedconfetti: ANYTHING BUT THIS caffienatedconfetti: COUNTRY MUSICCCCCC Shockbox: Song count: 2 caffienatedconfetti: NOOOOO caffienatedconfetti: auuguuhu Shockbox: I would average the song quality to be, on average, 2.5/10 caffienatedconfetti: i hate country musc so, so much Shockbox: You can mute the tab. caffienatedconfetti: thank you caffienatedconfetti: tell me when it stops Shockbox: Will do. blythe1: That calf doesn't seem to be growing, they should call a vet blythe1: Some sort of pituitory problem there, surely. Knock Out: The last one was nice. They doubled their mileage by applying it to sick human children, apparently. caffienatedconfetti: she's secretly an alien Knock Out: The intergalactic community doesn't want her. Shockbox: Finally, the song is over. blythe1: Song's done caffienatedconfetti: thanks! caffienatedconfetti: my ears didn't need that cancer Shockbox: It seemed to go on much longer than it wanted to. Shockbox: *needed Shockbox: ...Sign language exists. Shockbox: Nonverbal forms of communication exist. thenightetc: Now trample them. caffienatedconfetti: ah, the old "bullies don't like girls" caffienatedconfetti: how original Knock Out: It doesn't seem like a sign language kind of town. Shockbox: Sigh. blythe1: I think they only know one hand sign there. caffienatedconfetti: "hhneh" Knock Out: Sign language, court orders, doctors... thenightetc: Hhahaha caffienatedconfetti: what's this? caffienatedconfetti: who is that screechy blonde witch??? Knock Out: Drunk Aunt Agnes. caffienatedconfetti: why does she want him?? blythe1: Drunk aunt agnes, who is unpleasant but has been in the right. thenightetc: I'm not really clear on that, to be honest. blythe1: He has been in danger on the farm, he does need a second opinion, eggnog is a basic human right! caffienatedconfetti: the animals are agents of chaos Shockbox: She apparently just didn't want to celebrate christmas alone. Shockbox: That is her entire motivation. caffienatedconfetti: lord caffienatedconfetti: end me caffienatedconfetti: so why can't the kid talk...??? thenightetc: There was a fire Shockbox: He was in a barn that caught on fire and....Was presumably traumatized? blythe1: From context, smoke inhalation has damaged his vocal chords. I think thenightetc: and presumably he inhaled some smoke and damaged his lungs or something Shockbox: Or, perhaps, the smoke destroyed his vocal chords. blythe1: SInce he's only been seen by the old country GP, it could be anything. caffienatedconfetti: santa is a WITCH thenightetc: Do they not hear that rooster Shockbox: Yes. Yes he is. blythe1: Cocaine? caffienatedconfetti: ah, the magic of hard narcotics thenightetc: But the magic dust only lasts for a day. Shockbox: Way to get the child's hopes up. blythe1: I'm not sure that is how child removal orders work? blythe1: I feel I may be being too mean for this movie. caffienatedconfetti: great caffienatedconfetti: their children will be HIDEOUS thenightetc: Really. Shockbox: Why has her face not changed at all. thenightetc: Oh, I guess it didn't just last the one day. Shockbox: That is not the face of an adult cow. caffienatedconfetti: the face of pain caffienatedconfetti: and cheap animation Knock Out: Those antlers are probably weighing down her old neck. caffienatedconfetti: "SANTA COMES, TO FULFILL YOUR DARKESTS DREAMS" blythe1: Is Santa also the Grim Reaper? thenightetc: ....Maybe? Shockbox: It's probable, in this universe. Knock Out: You can't prove he isn't. Shockbox: *There was only green under his jacket.* Shockbox: If you stare underneath the old man's jacket, you stare into the void. caffienatedconfetti: ...but females don't have antlers??? thenightetc: It's a christmas miracle! Knock Out: They actually do! blythe1: I think it depends on the deer species caffienatedconfetti: huh Shockbox: You're all missing the obvious conclusion. caffienatedconfetti: female reindeer have antlers? Shockbox: They're transgender. Shockbox: Case closed. caffienatedconfetti: that was my first thought, actually blythe1: I just want to say, I should have drunk far more wine before watching this one. Knock Out: According to your datanet, female reindeer have antlers. And during your holiday season, the males don't. caffienatedconfetti: i left by accident caffienatedconfetti: oh my god thenightetc: So are all of Santa's reindeer animals he rescued(?) and magically changed the species of? caffienatedconfetti: ....'santa and the ice cream bunny'? Shockbox: It's possible, according to that movie. caffienatedconfetti: oh my god, is this MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER??? Knock Out: It's rifftrax. We used up our MST3K Christmas quota the last two years. caffienatedconfetti: lel Shockbox: Mmmm. Shockbox: I suppose we won't have much to say, they'll do all the riffing for us. thenightetc: If Santa *weren't* also Death then why wait until she was apparently dying to show up. caffienatedconfetti: what are they singing even? blythe1: The Christmas palm tree? blythe1: Global warming is really taking its toll. Shockbox: And then...Santa ran into Amelia Earhart. blythe1: And ate her? Shockbox: No, no, he watched her get eaten by crabs. Shockbox: "It's not Christmas, therefore helping you is outside of  my jurisdiction." blythe1: Santa stuck in Florida? Is this an I Dream of Jeannie crossover movie? Shockbox: Is...This some kind of opera? caffienatedconfetti: i think it is blythe1: Santa is tripping caffienatedconfetti: judging by the hand-flailing Shockbox: He's very bored with his situation. caffienatedconfetti: i love these guys caffienatedconfetti: DOG caffienatedconfetti: oh my god caffienatedconfetti: they know what we're thinking Shockbox: Is Santa casting some sort of spell on the humans of the world? thenightetc: Maybe? blythe1: I'm thinking, "Jimmy Saville's home videos" right now. caffienatedconfetti: THEY KNOW caffienatedconfetti: SANTA CALLS thenightetc: I guess the Time Stop wore off? caffienatedconfetti: KAZOOS caffienatedconfetti: KAZOOOOOOOOOOS Shockbox: He's just summoning all of these random children to this unspecified island? caffienatedconfetti: THE KAZOOS thenightetc: Santa is the Pretend Spirit Knock Out: That can only end well. Knock Out: NO. caffienatedconfetti: i swear to god they're psychic thenightetc: Search your feelings.  You know it to be true. Shockbox: This is directed and written in a manner that is uncomfortably close to modern productions that are /meant/ to be vaguely disconcerting or frightening. caffienatedconfetti: i love mystery science theater SO GODDAMN MUCH thenightetc: Is that a racoon thenightetc: it IS a racoon caffienatedconfetti: i can't stop laughing caffienatedconfetti: aaaaand i just snorted my seltzer blythe1: Be careful with raccoons, one attacked a baby in philedelphia a couple of days ago Shockbox: Good job, CC. blythe1: got in the house and mauled a four month old caffienatedconfetti: there is exactly one black child thenightetc: And they all immediately kneel down Shockbox: Ah, Representation. caffienatedconfetti: BOW TO YOUR LORD blythe1: Santa endorses child labour thenightetc: Is he going to turn them into reindeer and make them pull him around Cardinal: Hello! Knock Out: Cardinal! Hello! blythe1: Hi Cardinal caffienatedconfetti: henlo, we're watching 'santa and the ice cream bunny' Cardinal: wh Cardinal: what is this caffienatedconfetti: 'santa and the ice cream bunny' Shockbox: A masterpiece. caffienatedconfetti: DOG caffienatedconfetti: cut dog, good dog Shockbox: A horrible masterpiece. caffienatedconfetti: *cute caffienatedconfetti: just let me pet the dog Cardinal: what is this caffienatedconfetti: 'santa and the ice cream bunny' Shockbox: A masterpiece. caffienatedconfetti: DOG caffienatedconfetti: cut dog, good dog Shockbox: A horrible masterpiece. caffienatedconfetti: *cute caffienatedconfetti: just let me pet the dog blythe1: Did the spell wear off? caffienatedconfetti: the pied piper of the north pole caffienatedconfetti: ....what caffienatedconfetti: what caffienatedconfetti: i dont thenightetc: Where did she get a gorilla caffienatedconfetti: what blythe1: It is the ghost of harambe Shockbox: Ah, I see, she recruited bigfoot. caffienatedconfetti: i don't Cardinal: . . . caffienatedconfetti: this is oddly sexual caffienatedconfetti: it's the grunting okay Shockbox: ...He just needs his sleigh out of the snow, doesn't he? Shockbox: Er. Sand. Cardinal: Wouldn't it help if he . . . got out of the sleigh. Shockbox: Why doesn't he *get out of it* before asking people to move it. thenightetc: Yes, you'd think he could pull it out himself. Shockbox: //Snort. thenightetc: It doesn't look that heavy. blythe1: It does not look like a heavily built vehicle, Santa himself must weigh more than the sleigh caffienatedconfetti: angry pig thenightetc: Exactly. blythe1: Oooh, the Christmas ham has arrived. thenightetc: Maybe he's stuck. thenightetc: Or just very stupid. caffienatedconfetti: wait why would a pig work better than a mule and a m man in a gorrilla suit??? thenightetc: Oh so he CAN get out! Knock Out: Dear sweet Unicron. caffienatedconfetti: those poor animals Shockbox: There he goes! It's not that hard. caffienatedconfetti: sobbing blythe1: I'm guessing this movie did not get the "no animals were harmed" award thenightetc: Were they even trained animals? blythe1: trained better than the film makers caffienatedconfetti: the raaccon and the dog were obviously somewhat trianed blythe1: Oh it is the cast of the last movie caffienatedconfetti: ohhh, that poor horse! their hooves aren't built for sand!! caffienatedconfetti: poor baby caffienatedconfetti: stop hitting the horse!! blythe1: Yes, get out! caffienatedconfetti: STOP caffienatedconfetti: THAT POOR HRSE IS SO CONFUZZLED thenightetc: The horse just seems confused. blythe1: These kids are obviously within walking distance of a populated area. Go walk there and phone for a taxi. blythe1: It isn't even slightly buried. thenightetc: Is he.  Still trying to sit in the sleigh and dig it out a tthe same time. thenightetc: Does anyone else find it strange that it's just him in the sleigh, and no presents? Knock Out: He's not Santa at all, just a bad man. blythe1: Oh god, singing. Cardinal: . . . Knock Out: With filthy pants. Shockbox: ...Well, at least we went for a good few minutes without having to endure this singing. Cardinal: Didn't Rudolph establish that Santa is a bad man? caffienatedconfetti: yes caffienatedconfetti: we're in hell blythe1: Either in hell, or on a hell of an acid trip Shockbox: Is....Is this really happening? thenightetc: I'm so confused. Shockbox: Okay. Cardinal: WHY caffienatedconfetti: we're dead and in hell caffienatedconfetti: *get sshot in spanish* Shockbox: And *then* the protagonist in this movie will start talking about a protagonist from a *different* story. caffienatedconfetti: i can't stop laughingggg Knock Out: I'm wheezing. thenightetc: Why is the ceiling in there so low blythe1: Remember when asking for children from witches and the fey always be specific in your wants. They love to screw you over with exact words. caffienatedconfetti: i love these guyss blythe1: The ceiling is so low because she bought it cheap from Yoda's estate caffienatedconfetti: "buy cheap, this house, you will" thenightetc: pffff thenightetc: They were really desperate to fill out the running time, huh. blythe1: duck into a swan, an anthem for the CRISPR generation Shockbox: Apparently. caffienatedconfetti: WHEEZE caffienatedconfetti: ....that looks like a boy wearing a wig caffienatedconfetti: "you and i are going to have fun together" blythe1: That is some bad CSO, even for this movie thenightetc: Uhhhhhhhhh caffienatedconfetti: is that a man in a frog suit caffienatedconfetti: WHAT HAPPENED TO SANTA caffienatedconfetti: i think marriage is a consent thing??? blythe1: WTF? thenightetc: Are they supposed to be... insects? thenightetc: I mean, the extra..... limbs blythe1: Giant shrooms, I think I've found the explanation for this movie thenightetc: Is her mother even looking for her? thenightetc: She can't be too far away blythe1: the snow in old movies was actually asbestos. Not even joking about that, they used to use asbestos for fake snow thenightetc: Well, that's cheery caffienatedconfetti: assbestos thenightetc: yikes caffienatedconfetti: why this Shockbox: ...How much longer. Shockbox: How much longer is this film. blythe1: It never ends caffienatedconfetti: it will last for eternity caffienatedconfetti: this is hell after all blythe1: It lasts forever, ahahahaha thenightetc: This is what happens when you get on Santa's naughty list!  Take note. blythe1: Damn, I didn't realise just how naughty I must have been this year thenightetc: errrrr blythe1: A saga of child trading and forced marriages, such a classic tale for Santa to tell kids. caffienatedconfetti: wait caffienatedconfetti: I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING caffienatedconfetti: THAT MOLE MAN IS WEARING THE BODY PART OF THE GORILLA SUIT thenightetc: Oh my god.  Yeah, plus a coat Knock Out: By the core, it is! thenightetc: I'm so uncomfortable with how they keep saying how young she is and how she's a child. thenightetc: "you're such a beautiful child!  marry me" thenightetc: :| Cardinal: uhhhh caffienatedconfetti: jesus thenightetc: see? blythe1: A day, but it feels soooooooooooo much longer. thenightetc: "but I AM rich" caffienatedconfetti: it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again thenightetc: "he'll die pretty soon and then you'll be a rich widow!" Knock Out: This couldn't have less to do with Christmas. caffienatedconfetti: i don't know where i am thenightetc: Please tell me the bird's not going to try to marry her, too blythe1: I think I actually miss drunk Santa at thispoint caffienatedconfetti: yes Knock Out: AHHHH! blythe1: She is not a human being, she grew fully formed from a seed caffienatedconfetti: plant hybrid caffienatedconfetti: OH MY LORD blythe1: I can't imagine there could be a worse fate that being in thiis movie blythe1: Winter is coming! Shockbox: So...When will this have anything to do with an ice cream bunny? blythe1: It melted Shockbox: At the beginning? Cardinal: . . . . blythe1: Another forced  marriage? blythe1: I seriously question the message this movie is pushing thenightetc: So... what about her mother Thebes: Oh man I'm late--what fresh nonsense is this? blythe1: I hope those flower buds they are standing in are the same as those from little shop of horrors thenightetc: So, they absolutely just spliced another entire story in, didn' tthey blythe1: back at Santa's cult thenightetc: Credits and all thenightetc: Er, movie blythe1: Yes, Santa is dead, we're freeeeeeeee Cardinal: . . . caffienatedconfetti: am i on crack thenightetc: No, this is really happening Thebes: This feels like a festive fever dream blythe1: THE SIREN MEANS THE NUKES ARE COMING, RIGHT? blythe1: And they just ran over the camera man, which must be a relief for him caffienatedconfetti: screaming blythe1: You know the worst apart about this? caffienatedconfetti: i am screaming caffienatedconfetti: the screaming never ends thenightetc: The dog turning to look at the camera blythe1: I hear Michael Bay has signed on for a remake. Thebes: I feel like that's untrue but... cite your sources blythe1: He's signed on for a reboot for everything else. caffienatedconfetti: eeend me caffienatedconfetti: hwy tjhs caffienatedconfetti: whys blythe1: Just get him on the car and drive to the closing credits, already. thenightetc: The dog seems kind of freaked out at the bunny, there. caffienatedconfetti: please kill mee blythe1: Just for the record, that is not the right way to crank start a car blythe1: if it kicks back then it can break your arm. thenightetc: Look at that kid struggling to keep the dog from running off. thenightetc: ....So could he have done that at any time, or Thebes: I... I don't know blythe1: Is it over, truly? caffienatedconfetti: thank god thenightetc: That description caffienatedconfetti: i am freed Knock Out: It's over. Dear sweet Unicron, it's over. Knock Out: But will we ever be free? That's the question. blythe1: I'll be good next year, promise. Knock Out: I promise nothing. thenightetc: That was really.... something. blythe1: I have to look up that movie's IMDB page to see if anyone in it ever worked again Knock Out: Wasn't it just? Knock Out: Thank you all for stopping by and enduring it! thenightetc: Thank you for infli--*sharing* it with us. blythe1: Wouldn't have missed it for the world, KO. Thank you. blythe1: I love your Christmas livestreams. THey are always great. caffienatedconfetti: goood night Thebes: I only caught the end, but even that was...amazing, shall we say. thank you! Knock Out: You're all very welcome! caffienatedconfetti: it was endless pain caffienatedconfetti: and trauma thenightetc: That description caffienatedconfetti: i am freed Knock Out: It's over. Dear sweet Unicron, it's over. Knock Out: But will we ever be free? That's the question. blythe1: I'll be good next year, promise. Knock Out: I promise nothing. thenightetc: That was really.... something. blythe1: I have to look up that movie's IMDB page to see if anyone in it ever worked again Knock Out: Wasn't it just? Knock Out: Thank you all for stopping by and enduring it! thenightetc: Thank you for infli--*sharing* it with us. blythe1: Wouldn't have missed it for the world, KO. Thank you. blythe1: I love your Christmas livestreams. THey are always great. caffienatedconfetti: goood night Thebes: I only caught the end, but even that was...amazing, shall we say. thank you! Knock Out: You're all very welcome! caffienatedconfetti: it was endless pain caffienatedconfetti: and trauma caffienatedconfetti: it will be in my nightmares blythe1: Merry Christmas, everybody. caffienatedconfetti: mebby chruistmun Knock Out: Merry Christmas, happy holidays, may Santa's filthy pants keep clear of your dreams! thenightetc: Same to you!  And goodnight. blythe1: Since it is now 5am in my timezone, I will bid you all good night. See you all next year. Thebes: good night!