#weirdly enough some of my biggest opposition has come from pre-trans people who transitioned years after we went our separate ways

[tenobelisk]

so.. i'm taking risks here that i don't wish to explain the extent of, but i'm transgender and very cis-passing and entirely non-medical in my lifelong journey through all of this. there is honestly nothing about me visibly, appearance wise, speech wise, mannerism wise, that would suggest i am anything other than cisgender.

the DOUBT i see in medical and social care worker's eyes , let alone others, when i explain this. the slow, gentle veering toward non binary as opposed to transgender status because "non-binary is a better fit" or "you're still figuring it out" or the evergreen "you're confused". the BIAS involved when finding any reason to veer me away from referring to myself as trans if i am not taking meds or having surgery or doing anything "different" with myself outwardly. listen. the difference, for me, is inward.

it would be so. much. easier. to just say i am non-binary, and i have gained oh-so-delicious acceptance and approval in the past by just nodding and going with it. the alternative has often meant being pushed toward changing my social, consumer and clothing habits. and then hormones and surgery and all the rest. that's just not the kind of (insert gender here) i am.

i have had people suggest it is a "uniquely autistic take" on gender dysphoria. because.. i am also autistic. well, i am also transgender, read the definition. i fit the definition of transgender. read it.

yes folks, i wear clothing and have interests YOU associate with the gender still on my forms. does that mean i must change for your acceptance by matching whatever sociocultural construct you and others are used to? again, that's not me. this movie does not have the ending you expect to get when you buy the ticket.

i've had pushback (putting it mildly), well-meaning OF COURSE, from gay, straight and everything inbetween. when they finally accept i'm not taking meds or having surgery, you see a bit of their belief in my journey fade; their grip loosen on the connection we have. it's a look i have gotten very used to seeing.

i also get perceived as a social threat? by some supposedly welcoming groups? because of the whole wolf in sheep's clothing.. or sheep in wolf's clothing? by having an internal difference i am not wearing bright and loud for all to see.

i say "i'm gay but it's complicated" ..which has puzzled people. but it's accurate. it is nobody else's business whether someone wants to go the medical route or not. i am non-medical not because i am confused, deluded or hiding, or because i am "one of the bad ones" but because, to me, i look like this, dress like this, talk like this and like these things because that is who i am, regardless of whether there is an M, F or a Z on the forms.

i know this post was not entirely on topic, but reading the transmedicalist related post above reminded me of my experience with people who think you need medical change to be something else. you don't. most of society is made up. people can just make shit up and teach it to each other then act if its always been this way. it hasn't. make some more shit up and put your whole heart into it.

trans people, i am one of you even if i look *exactly* like one of them. it is not because i am in denial or hiding or failed to fully own it. it is because this is just who i am and have always been.

ive been seeing a new wave of transmedicalists lately I think we gotta start being vocal again about how nasty they are. you don't need to take hormones or have surgery to be a trans person. changing your name and pronouns is gender affirming care. wearing new clothes and hair and makeup is part of transitioning too. you dont need to pass to be trans, you don't need to be male or female.

nonbinary, agender, genderfluid, genderqueer people are trans too if that's a label they want to use for themselves. and anyone who says otherwise is a piece of shit. it's not "anti-transitioning" to say so, it's anti-telling other people what to do with their bodies. it's pro-minding your own fucking business and letting people do what they want with their gender and treating them with compassion and enthusiasm