#weird strange and awful writing
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weirdstrangeandawful · 2 years ago
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Part VIII – The Cat
TW: corporal punishment (flogging)
Word count: 1107
<-Part VII – Someone Stole Your Heart?
Table of contents
Part IX – Spectres->
The sunlight stings Rowan’s eyes as he arrives on the upper deck after all too few hours of sleep. About half the crew is awake and hard at work preparing to depart. A sharp new ache has settled into his ribs but he swallows it down and takes a deep breath. He misses home sometimes. This is Scotland, sure, but it’s nothing like the Outer Hebrides.
Quinn stands abaft, tense and on edge. They shoot regular glances over at Carroll, trying to avoid his attention. Carroll sits on a bench, equally stiff-backed, new cat o’ nine tails gripped tight in his left hand. His right combs it slowly. His fingers run softly, dangerously through the long braided tails, over the stinging knots, and out to their lashed ends.
Looking around, Rowan realises the entire crew is tense, speaking to each other only as necessary and even so in clipped phrases or hushed whispers. They’ve never seen Carroll like this. Rowan himself hasn't seen him like this since he was boatswain’s mate aboard the Neptune. He looks to his own mate, Eoin, a young man of about Carroll’s own age. He’s never touched a cat let alone made one, not the vile, pain-inflicting sort that Carroll’s now carrying anyway. And the cats on board never hang around much so he’s probably never touched one of those either.
Upon seeing Rowan, Quinn scampers over softly. Their voice is soft and quick with worry, “Rowan, I don’t remember what happened last night but I fucked up badly, didn’t I.” They fiddle with their jacket buttons aggressively.
Taking a deep breath, Rowan studies Quinn. They look entirely put together, they’re good at hiding. That’s what the Navy does, Rowan thinks, Breaks your spirit enough to keep your head down.
“Rowan?” Quinn presses, urgently, “What did I do?”
“Sorry,” Rowan apologises, the sharp pain distracting him, “you told him quite bluntly not to take advantage of Kyte and he didn’t take it well. It’s hard to tell when he won’t talk but I dare say yes, you fucked up. Don’t–” Rowan stops Quinn as they turn heel toward Carroll, “go talk to him. Just, keep your head down. Stay out of his way. I’ll do my best to deal with it.” Rowan turns.
Quinn stops him, “Rowan. It’s in his left hand.” Quinn’s voice threatens to tremble. The ease with which the cat fits in his left warns Quinn of the painful criss-crossing lashes Carroll is capable of inflicting should they step out of line.
“They were left-handed, Quinn.” Rowan explains, knowing full well what Quinn fears.
Quinn nods tensely and heads back to studying the schedule. Rowan moves to talk to Carroll. At his approach, Carroll stands and meets him, leaving the cat on the nearby bench.
Rowan’s voice is soft and caring, “You’re not Navy anymore, laddie. You’ve better things to do.”
Throat tightening, Carroll swallows aggressively, fighting to maintain composure. He’s not Navy, Rowan’s right. But Quinn is. And it’s starting to show.
“Put that down! Right now! And get back here this instant!” A seaman’s commanding voice crashes over the deck. His child has picked up the cat and is now frozen in place with it in his hands. At his father’s continued stare, he sets it slowly back down on the bench before running to his father. The seaman, holds him tightly, protectively, in his arms and looks at Carroll, whose eyes are trained on the exchange along with the rest of the crew’s. The fear shows in the former Navy sailor’s voice as he speaks softly to Carroll, “I’m sorry, sir. He didn’t know and that’s on me.”
An unidentifiable expression flashes over Carroll’s face as he nods, “At ease, seaman.” He grabs the cat, folding it over on itself, and looks at Rowan, “Can we talk in private? Please?” Without waiting for an answer, Carroll heads below deck, jumping the bottom rung of the hatchway and landing awkwardly. Rowan watches like a hawk to make sure he’s okay but doesn’t speak up. Once in their cabin with the door shut, Carroll nods to Rowan, “You may speak freely, Rowan.”
Rowan ducks his head slightly, choosing his words carefully. “You’re scaring your crew, Carroll. A good many of them are ex-navy. They weren’t there when Quinn fucked up. They don’t know what they did wrong– hell, Quinn doesn’t know what they did wrong!” Rowan reins himself in, “Sorry.”
Carroll looks up at Rowan, “Quinn blacked out?”
“Yes. They asked me what they did and I told them but no, they don’t remember.”
“Flogging makes a bad man worse…”
“…and breaks a good man’s heart,” Carroll finishes the quote softly, pensively. A nod to the shadows of their Navy days.
The cat o’ nine tails makes a soft rippling thump as Carroll throws it onto the floor in the corner of the cabin alongside the now-shrunken coil of rope. There’s no use disciplining someone for an offence they don’t remember. And no use frightening children for it. Carroll doesn’t move for a moment then speaks very softly, almost inaudibly, “He would take me away for discipline and I would have to beg to be flogged.” He turns to leave.
“Carroll,” Rowan stops him, “Carroll, we have to talk about this.”
Silence.
“Do you want a hug?”
“Go away,” comes the world-weary reply. Carroll walks out. Rowan follows.
Striding across the upper deck toward Quinn, Carroll’s limp barely breaks his step. Quinn stands at attention as he approaches, their shoulders ever-so-slightly relax as they see Carroll’s hands free of the cat o’ nine tails.
Carroll’s voice, filled with contained anger, carries not only to Quinn but to the rest of the crew now gathered on the upper deck, “This isn’t a Navy ship. I will not so freely use Navy discipline on her crew. However, I expect a lack of judgement for all members of crew, regardless of identity or rank or age or background or personal choice. I expect a level of basic respect for all members of crew. A level of basic respect which you have not shown. You are on this ship because you’re a good sailor and a valuable member of crew but I expect you to leave your navy misconduct off it. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.” Quinn’s voice is dry and practised.
“You’re dismissed 'til noon,” Carroll’s voice quiets but remains commanding, “You are not to interfere with scheduled duties until that time. Go on.”
“Yes, sir.” Quinn repeats before hastily making their way below deck.
“Take their post,” Carroll instructs, turning to a master’s mate, “Get us going when you’re ready.
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crybaby-bkg · 1 year ago
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the terrible terrible thing about writing slow burn while also trying to keep it under 15 chapters is the constant WORRYING of pacing????? are things going too slow and will it be hard to engage with???? are things going too fast and it feels like rushing??? is a kiss too much 19 chapters in???? I thought it was supposed to be under 15????? who am I here?????????
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metallteeff · 10 months ago
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oh my god i want to frame this panel
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weirdstrangeandawful · 2 months ago
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This reminds me of the larger thought process of 'people aren't really oppressed if they aren't activists'.
I'm sorry but you really do see a very small portion of people's suffering as a general rule and sometimes you gotta choose between a rock and a hard place. Classism is sometimes the greater evil than the misogyny (operative word, sometimes... you can't know everyone's situation).
You really enjoy romanticizing women’s suffering
Use your face if you want to insult me, you coward.
But I'll reply anyway, because it honestly is kind of annoying how many people don't understand what I'm saying in my arranged marriage post. I assume you haven't really read anything else I've written because a whole lot of it is pointing out how women are oppressed and harmed in Jane Austen's works and begging people to stop hating on abused 16-18 year-old fictional girls.
My point in that post is that women would have different reactions to arranged marriage because a lot of people buy into oppression. That is how oppression is perpetuated. Right now, in our world, people are convincing women that the only natural form of childbirth is epidural-free and they aren't "real mothers" if they don't go through that. Mothers will tell you, sincerely, with a straight face, that you should have a "real natural birth" and that's it's a beautiful experience. That is complete and utter bullshit, and I know that because I've birthed a freaking baby. So if I write from the perspective of one of these women, am I "romanticizing women's suffering?" No. I'm showing how people can buy into things that persecute them. I'm telling a story about how someone can embrace something that harms them.
It's actually a better indictment of the arranged marriage system to show someone excited about it whose entire worldview crumbles after facing the reality. But it would also be interesting, and good fiction, and acknowledgement that people in the past had different ideas about love and marriage, to show women who want to climb socially, or be richer, or gain power, happy with their arranged partner because he's rich, powerful, or socially savvy.
"Stop writing women as Modern Girlboss Monoliths who all have the exact same worldview" ≠ "romanticizing women’s suffering"
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machveil · 2 months ago
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Neighbor!König Headcanons
before the events of the sticky note exchange! just some thoughts while I write pt 3
Neighbor!König didn’t realize his old neighbor moved out - he happened to be deployed when they did. he was surprised to see a bunch of boxes against the wall between his door and yours
Neighbor!König whose brain short circuits when he sees you exit the elevator, another box in your arms. he’s not too sure what to do, he was just leaving his apartment to run to the store
his hands are a little sweaty, mouth goes a little dry. he’s absolutely taken with you when you look up at him, all wide eyed and awed. it’s the first time you’ve seen each other and he’s pretty sure his heart stopped for a moment. he can’t find his voice when you say ‘hi’, so he awkwardly waves and ducks back into his apartment - he’ll get his groceries later
he’s silently debating whether he should go back out there and offer you a hand or just leave you be. eyes darting between his front door and his keys. would it be weird to go back out into the hallway? he just stared at you and waved, was that strange? do you think he’s a creep? a behemoth of a man who just quietly looked at you and left?
safe to say, he decided to just sit down on his couch. sighing, looking up at the ceiling, his shoulders slump. you were so pretty, he thinks. maybe that’s why his stomach did a flip when he heard your voice, because that was pretty too
he didn’t see you again for a week. he figured it was too late for a proper introduction, he’d just be your… quiet, weird neighbor. he didn’t want to be that, but the back of his mind kept replying his retreat. yeah, maybe it’s better to let that situation be
so when he entered the building after a walk around the block, he was startled when your hand caught the closing elevator doors. you had smiled at him, he saw your mouth moving as you talked - probably a greeting? he couldn’t be sure, he too focused on not taking up too much room in the cramped space. so when he heard you introduce yourself, heard you ask for his name, he blinked
“Ah— König.”, he mumbled, gaze darting towards the bright yellow floor numbers as they slowly creeped towards your shared floor. what he didn’t notice was how your gaze was glued to him. he was tall - tall enough he had to duck his head a little going through doors, and he was so big. a pleasant contrast to his seemingly meek demeanor, a demeanor that heavily contrasted his work
maybe, if König could tear his eyes away from the floor numbers and back down towards you, he would notice your eyes dilating slightly, a dopey, nervous smile tugging at your lips. being up close in such a confined space with him was doing things to you. you barely know the man - König - and you’re already smitten. but, before you can continue with any small talk, the elevator doors open and König is gone
he’s pushing through his apartment door, a soft click ringing out as he locks it behind him. “Oh Gott.”, mumbled words leaving his lips as he kicks his shoes off. eyebrows slightly knit as he moves to his bedroom, he pauses when he hears music. through your shared wall, the soft hum of your music plays - or is that you singing? he isn’t too sure, but before he registers it, he sitting down on the floor, back pressed to the wall.
eyes fluttering shut, he takes a deep breath. maybe if he properly became friends with you he could be in there with you. the cold, hard floor grounds him a little, the muffled music keeping his head from spiraling down more ‘what if’s’. but, as the song slows down and the next starts to play, one thought crosses his mind
he really should try to speak to you more
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apollowhoo · 3 months ago
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could you pleasee do a gravity falls one shot?
so basically Bill Cipher meets the youngest Pines member but they're like 3-4 years old. And basically Bill doesn't know how to react, he's all confused but also in awe. Make it fluff and i know it's going to be hard to write this as canon Bill Cipher so you can ignore if you want <33
Bill Cipher x Child!Reader (PLATONIC)
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The forest surroundcing the Mystery Shack was quiet. Somewhere between dimensions, floating lazily, was Bill Cipher, his single eye half-lidded with boredom. His typical schemes to cause chaos were on hold, and for once, he was simply… existing.
That’s when he heard it—a soft giggle, light as a feather. Bill’s eye snapped open, immediately. There, standing among the wildflowers, was a small figure with messy hair, chubby cheeks, and a bright, curious gaze.
The youngest member of the Pines family.
His eye narrows slightly. A little kid, no older than three or four, was staring right up at him. Her tiny hands gripping a stuffed animal that seemed to be some kind of hybrid between a cat and a duck—perfectly nonsensical, just the way Bill liked things.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” Bill floated closer, his voice carrying its usual sarcasm. “A little ankle-biter out all alone? Shouldn’t you be with your oh-so-boring family?”
The girl tilted her head, eyes wide and sparkling with the kind of innocence Bill found really weird. She didn't seemed scared. She suddenly reaches out, poking Bill with a tiny finger in pure curiosity.
Bill’s eye widened a little in surprise. Most people who encountered him would either scream, run, or try to strike some ridiculous bargain. But this little human? She just poked him like he was some new toy.
“Hey, hey! Hands off the merchandise!” Bill exclaimed. He wondered, why wasn’t she afraid? Why wasn’t she running? And why, in all his chaotic glory, did he find this child so… interesting?
The child giggled again, a bubbly sound that seemed to echo in Bill’s mind. She pointed at him with her free hand, her other continuing to clutching her stuffed toy close.
“Triangle!” she declared proudly, their voice high-pitched and filled with wonder.
Bill let out a bark of laughter, genuinely amused. “Oh, you’re a smart one, aren’t you? That’s right, kiddo. I’m a triangle, the best triangle you’ll ever meet. Got any other shapes in that little brain of yours?”
The kid smiled. They started babbling, half-formed words about god know what, pointing excitedly as if expecting Bill to just understand them. The demon was used to others feeling fear, but this… this innocent curiosity was something else.
“Alright, kid, slow down,” Bill said. “You think I can just whip up stars and moons like a party trick? You’re talking to Bill Cipher, not some street magician.”
For the first time in… well, forever, Bill felt utterly out of his element. He could outsmart the smartest, scare the toughest, and twist anyone around his finger, but this kid? She just saw him entertainig.
Bill hovered beside them, his eye following them every move. He had cought a small, harmless ball of light, flickering in and out of existence.
“Yeah, yeah, enjoy it while it lasts, kid,” Bill mumbled, though there was no more venom in his voice.
The girl just grinned, leaning her head against his triangular form as if he were just another friend, not a demon with a penchant for chaos. Bill let her, floating there quietly as the sun dipped lower in the sky.
For once, he wasn’t planning anything. No schemes, no deals, no manipulation. Just a strange, peaceful moment with a little human who saw him not as a threat .
And for reasons Bill couldn’t quite fathom, he didn’t mind it one bit.
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zoro-chwaan · 4 months ago
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I’m not dead y’all!! And I haven’t lost motivation to write either!! I have like a handful of ideas to write, but don’t any to write them except for late at nights :(
Anyways enjoy this for now and I’ll write some more later!!
Fems! Dni!!
Word count: 0.9k (not a lot :( )
Content warning: bleeding kink (?), biting kink, rough sex, implied multiple rounds, overstimulation, in heat (oc, not reader)
┌────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────┐
Smutty thoughts
Vampire boyfriend who is centuries years older than you, but looks around your age! You met him at a coffee shop. He was the barista who was making your coffee. You thought he was cute so you did the bold move and asked for his number.. to which your surprise, he did?!
He giggled at your expression and told you that you were adorable. You, of course, blushed and thanked him. After that encounter, you’d text each other for the next few days till he asked you on a day (which you said yes of course). Which leads you to where your relationship stands now with you on the couch of his home while he’s at work.
You were reading a book that a friend of yours recommended, it was about a detective trying to solve a case where deaths appear with the mansion, but with each trail, they all seem to run cold. You were about to turn the next page until the door opened. It was your boyfriend!! And he looked drained? Which was weird since a couple nights ago you gave him some of your blood.
You walked up to him and hugged him. You asked how his day was and he just replied with a hum. He gave you a slight hug then made his way to your shared bedroom. That’s strange.. but you didn’t bother to push him and gave him his space. He’d always do that with you when you needed like after a tiresome day.
You went to sit back down (more like lie down) and picked up your book to continue reading. After about a half an hour you closed your book to check up on him. You could keep your attention on the book when he’s got you that worried. You got up and made your way towards the bedroom. You heard noises coming from inside, but you didn’t fully opened the door. But you did take a peek at what was going on.
And there he was, fucking his dick into his fist while moaning out your name. Seeing that made you wet and bothered, which the scent caught the attention of a certain someone. “Come on, baby. If you’re that wet from just the view, then why don’t you get a taste.” He said seductively, that lured you in.
You went inside the room and closed the door behind, but you were embarrassed to go any farther away from the door. “Awe, don’t tell me you’re shy now? Weren’t you just peaking?” He says as he removed his hand from his cock, as he sat up straight.
“Come here and help me out, yeah? You wanna help me out?” You nod your head and make your way to the bed. Once you got there, you were immediately pinned down (but weren’t you just standing like two seconds ago??). “See I have a bit of a problem here, baby, that only you can fix.. do you think you can be of use to me for a couple of days?” You looked up at him to see his face beat red. His eyes were red too..
➽───────────────❥
Ahh.. that’s right.. your boyfriend warned you about this when he told you about his secret.. vampires like him tend to go into heat once every two or three years and that they last for a week.. no wonder he was acting distant..
Though you couldn’t really think at the moment as he bites onto your shoulder once more, blood seeping out as you moan in pain and pleasure.
He continues his heavy thrusts into you as your face lays was pushed into the pillows. You couldn’t help but moan louder as he plays with your buds making you push into him. He groans from that and grabs a hold of your waist. He lifts your hips up to where your back is fully arched, he then pounds deep within you as he hits that sweet spot.
You were so thankful that you were faced down as tears came down like a faucet. He then pulled out and turned you around. He picked you up and placed your upper half off of the bed while your lower half was grabbed tightly by him. He shoved himself back into your cunt as you screamed. His thrust becoming inhumane as one of your hands grabbed ahold of the bed while the other on the floor to make sure you don’t fall.
He hums and holds your hips still, he looked down you as you tried to look up but you couldn’t out embarrassment. That seemed to get him going as he continued where he left off which made you cum from the nth time that night. And he didn’t come once!! Not fair!! :(
ཆི❤︎ཆྀ
He had you against the wall this round. Face mushed up against the wall as he slammed right into you. You couldn’t handle it anymore and started blabbering about who knows what. He chuckled and got close to your ear, “You’re just a good little toy. Allowing me to use you how I see fit. Such a perfect little cocksleeve for me.” He thrusts in you a couple more times and cums. Finally.
He lays you down on the bed as he goes to the bathroom and fixes up a bath for you. He then returns back and picks up and walks over to the bathroom. He places you down gently and helps you bathe.
“Thank you again for helping me out with that, but I hope you’re not too busy this entire week cause I got a week off from work.” With that, you faint. Lord give you the strength to survive, cause you need it.
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wolfiesmoon · 9 months ago
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hey, i wanted to say first that i love ur writing style. Also I wanted to ask (if is not a problem) jade, floyd and leona the prompt “cheek kisses that leave red lipstick stains”
awwww i'm so glad u think so!! i'm not sure if you mean the more silly one or the more serious one but either way i'm very happy 🩷
the reader is gender neutral in essence but they do wear lipstick because it's needed for this fic
jade's is suggestive i suppose????? so watch out for that????
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⋆୨୧˚ Jade Leech
"Interesting choice of lipstick. Not in a bad way, of course." Jade commented upon seeing you.
"I bought it yesterday, but I still have something I have to test out." You tried your best to look innocent and nonchalant.
You've had this lipstick for a while actually, but you still haven't tested if it's transfer proof yet. Jade is the perfect candidate to test that out. Atleast in your humble opinion.
"Oh? And what might that be?" he smiled at you.
"You'll see. Like, literally right now." you mirrored his decievingly innocent smile. After you kiss him, his eyes will probably go wide like they always do when he isn't expecting something. Which just so happens to be one of your favourite expressions of his.
You reached your hands out to him and pulled his face close to yours, then pressed a nice, long kiss on his right cheek. You mirrored it on the left one too, of course. Symmetry always looks nice.
Just like you predicted, he made the exact face you envisioned, with slightly pink cheeks as a bonus.
"Oh. I was... certainly not expecting that." he sounded genuinely surprised, smiling happily at you and showcasing his sharp teeth in the process. Knowing Jade, you honestly don't want to know what he thought you were going to do with that lipstick.
"Aw man, it's not transfer proof." you acted slightly dissapointed, but in reality, you couldn't be more glad that it isn't. Hmmm, it kinda feels nice to catch Jade off guard like that. Maybe you should do it more often.
"You don't realise what you've just done, do you?" his smile quickly turns sinister in a way you can't quite put your finger on. It makes you feel all weird, like you're pray getting cornered.
"Done what?" you laughed nervously.
"I do hope that you are good at hiding bite marks." as he said that, he was already grabbing your wrist and dragging you to god knows where.
"Wait... Jade, where are you taking me? Jade?!"
You have a feeling the lipstick might get smudged by the time you're done.
⋆୨୧˚ Floyd Leech
"I don't wanna talk to you..." Floyd sulked, not looking at you.
"He's been like this for the whole day." Normally, Jade would deal with Floyd's bad mood, but he's been causing even more trouble for the Lounge than usual today and was not very willing to be put in a better mood by his brother, so Jade was forced to employ higher forces to help him out. The higher forces being you, of course.
"Right... Actually, I think I might have an idea on how to solve this." You thought of a certain thing you wanted to for a while now but never had the chance to.
"Is that so?" Jade noticed the mischevious smile on your face, amused at whatever you'll come up with.
.
"Floyd, come with me." You pulled on his collar, sounding confident and serious.
"I told you, I'm not going to talk to you..." he glared at you, trying to push your hand away.
"There's no talking involved." You pulled harder and he finally let up, silently letting you drag him to a quiet corner of the school.
Because he's still in a bad mood, he hasn't looked your way at all. This also means he hasn't noticed the lipstick.
Suddenly, you grab a hold of his face and press a kiss to his lips before he can protest.
"Oh... oooooooh!" His face brightened up and it seems his mood has instantly improved. Floyd's a surprsingly simple guy sometimes, isn't he?
But, you're not done yet.
You pepper kisses on each of his cheeks without letting him say anything at all. He lets out strange but not entirely unwelcome noises while you're busy decorating his cheeks with kiss marks.
"There. Are you in a better mood now? Because the Mostro Lounge needs you." you looked satisfied with your work and so did Floyd when he got a glance of himself in the mirror.
"Ehhhh, do I really have to? I feel like squeezing you, not going to work. Especially not now that I'm all decorated with your kisses." he looked annoyed at the mention of work, wanting nothing more than to smother you with love and bonecrushing hugs right now.
Seems your plan kinda backfired since he became a little too happy and doesn't seem fond of letting you go anytime soon.
⋆୨୧˚ Leona Kingscholar
It is a bit unusual for you to wear such a bright lipstick color. He brushes it off, thinking you were just in the mood for a bright color or something.
Why should he care what color your lips are, anyways? Does not matter at all.
"Leonaaaa.... come here, kitty kitty~" you called him over jokingly and he glared at you in annoyance which only made you snort harder. But he still came over anyways, so you call it a win.
He looked at you, waiting for you to clarify on what you called him over for. Better be worth his time.
You grabbed a hold of the two braids at the front of his hair and pulled him into a kiss. Though it was a short(er) one since your main targets are his cheeks.
You made sure to thoroughly decorate them with kisses, turning his head left and right to inspect your work and make sure the number was about equal.
"You done?" he tries to sound unbothered, but you immediately see through it. He's definitely really happy about it.
"Yeah. You can go back to napping now." you let him go, and he lingered for a moment, no doubt dissapointed that you actually said yes. But since he didn't want to show it, he returned to his napping spot under the tree and you went back to studying in the library.
.
"Leeeeeoooonaaaa! Are you here again? Professor Crewel is mad at y- What is that on your face?" Ruggie's scolding session was cut short when he noticed the lipstick marks on Leona's face.
"What are you.... Ugh..." turns out Leona kinda forgot about the fact that lipstick usually leaves marks and that his cheeks were full of 'em this whole time. He groans at the realisation.
Though... they might not be that bad if they were made by you.
"Oh my god, stay still. I gotta take a photo of this. I'm sure your family would be happy to know you're doing well in your love life." Ruggie was about to pull out his phone but was stopped by Leona who swiftly grabbed his wrist. Wait, since when was he standing, anyways?
"Jesus, you scare me sometimes..." Ruggie pushes his phone back in his pocket. "Well, do I go get something to clean your face or what?"
Leona hesitates.
"Yeah, yeah."
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twilight-orchid · 10 months ago
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Shower Suprise
Jason Todd x gn pregnant reader
Notes: So, I’m currently fighting a war against baby fever and baby daddy jason makes me feral so I decided to write a self indulgent fic. I’m working on a couple sequel fics so let me know if you enjoyed this and I’ll post the others too. I’m not a great writer and have never written for Jason before, so sorry if it’s shit lmaooo
Part 2
Word count: 1730
Contains cursing, unplanned pregnancy, mention of abortion, talk of adoption
Jason had gotten home a little after 4 am. He’d been patrolling the cold, rainy streets since 11 and Gotham had finally grown quiet. His body ached something awful from the numerous fights he’d gotten into that night, and exhaustion had crept into his bones making him feel like he could fall asleep standing up.
He climbed into the window of the dark apartment silently to avoid waking his lover and got out of his gear in the living room. The sound of clanking metal and ripping zippers tended to get noisy. Once in his briefs alone he slipped into your bedroom, pausing for a moment to watch the rise and fall of your chest with a smile on his face. You slept soundly, your hair a nest around your face and your soft snores like a comforting lullaby to Jason.
He reluctantly made his way to your shared bathroom. He’d love nothing more than to just go to bed, but you didn’t like it when he got into the clean sheets with Gotham’s grime on him. And, to be fair, he was pretty gross some nights. He showered quickly, enjoying the steaming water on his sore muscles, then hastily moved to brush his teeth. However, something odd caught his eye as he spat.
There were balls of what looked like clean tissue wadded up atop the trash, which was strange as he’d just changed it before he left. You didn’t have a cold or anything that would constitute using that much. He furrowed his brow, a weird feeling washing over him. Something white and shiny just barely peeked out from underneath, and he moved the tissue aside to reveal not 1 but 4 pregnancy tests. His heart froze, time seeming to stop around him. Dread built in his gut as he grabbed the sticks, and terror settled in as he picked up one positive after another. Holy shit, y/n was pregnant. He’d gotten you pregnant. Fuck.
Something pleasant stirred in his gut but he squashed it down. His child would be in danger every day having him as their father. If anyone found out about his baby, child of the Red Hood and grandchild of the Batman, they’d instantly have a target on their head. Aside from that, he’d be a terrible father. He was gruff without meaning to, he had a short fuse, and he certainly didn’t have any good role models. All he could think about were the ways he could accidentally fuck them up. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice you until you were in the bathroom with him.
He was no longer tired, adrenaline pumping through his veins as he dropped to the floor. Fuck fuck fuck. He couldn’t be a father, he’s Red Hood. He had huge time constraints, anger issues, and most importantly, a lot of blood on his hands. How could those hands, forever stained red, hold something like an innocent newborn in his grasp? A baby, with chunky cheeks and thighs, perhaps with his hair and your eyes.
“Jay?” You asked tentatively. He realized he was hyperventilating. He tried to respond, but he found all he could do is stare at your middle. Your eyes slipped to the floor, taking in the discovered pregnancy tests as he watched your face turn. This is clearly not the reveal you were hoping for. You crouched to his level.
“Jay, can you breathe with me?” He was still lost in his thoughts, buried in his anxiety. But he looked up and met your gaze, your features worried. For him. He closed his eyes and nodded with a shuddering breath.
“Alright babe, in through the nose…. Out through the mouth.” He followed along with you, his hand reaching out. You grabbed it firmly with both of yours without hesitation, running your thumbs along his skin. He usually didn’t like to be touched when he was having episodes, but something about your warmth grounded him. He steadily felt his heart begin to slow down.
You let go with one hand to tenderly cup his cheek, smiling sheepishly at him.
“You’re pregnant.” He said simply. You bit your lip and looked away, but nodded.
“I made an appointment in the morning to get an ultrasound and make sure, but well, 4 positives. Plus, you know how sick and nauseous I’ve been. Emotional, tired, hungry for weird shit…” He cursed under his breath and noted how your shoulders sank. Your hand just barely moved to your belly before you caught yourself, returning it to your side.
“You want the baby.” He stated, though it was more of a question. You sighed in frustration and ran your hand through your hair.
“I don’t know. I don’t feel ready, but I can’t stop picturing a little baby that looks like me and you and I just… I can’t-“ Your resolve crumbled as tears began rolling down your cheeks. He took you into his arms instantly, pulling you onto his lap and letting you bury your head into his neck as you sobbed. He drew circles into your back and whispered reassurances, but his head was spinning.
“I don't know what to do Jay!” You whimpered. He didn’t know either, but he needed to come up with a solution. For you.
A baby. A fucking baby. Bruce would absolutely lose it.
“Well,” he started, his voice calm. He was freaking out, but you didn’t need him a nervous wreck. You needed him strong and steadfast. He took a deep breath.
“There’s allot going on in our heads right now, why don't we break down our options, yeah?” You nodded, still sniffling and sat in his lap to meet his eyes.
“No matter what, I'm not putting a baby in the Gotham foster system. No way.” He started. Gotham had a lot of kids entering its foster system and almost no kids being adopted. Bruce had been trying to help solve the issue for years, but Jason knew if they gave the baby up for adoption, they’d likely have a hard time finding a home. Not to mention the issue still stood that they’d be in danger if their parentage was discovered, except in that scenario Jason wouldn’t even know where they are to help them. You nodded in agreement.
“So that leaves…” you began softly.
“Keeping it or getting rid of it.” He finished. Your lip twisted and fresh tears fell, but you wiped them away.
“I don’t… what do you want to do Jay?”
“It’s your body.”
“And it's your baby.” You responded. That was fair, and he thought about it. There’s no denying it could be dangerous, but there was also no denying that his kid would have the planets greatest protectors on its side. His family would call to arms for his baby in an instant, as would the friends Jason had made through his life. Hell, even the Justice League would defend Bruce’s grand baby. And he wouldn’t repeat his mentor’s mistakes and drag his kid on the rooftops with him. They belonged at home; safe, cared for, and loved. A feeling he reveled in when he was with you. He thought about you holding a toddler in your arms and playing with them, the sound of his child’s laughter echoing through the house. He just knew you would make an amazing parent. Feelings once again rose in his chest, but he didn’t push them down. He let them sit and, once he really thought about it, he kinda wanted to see the little guy live and grow. But ultimately it wasn’t his decision.
“I want what you want.” He finally responded. You groaned in frustration.
“I don’t want you to want what I want Jay. If I say I want it, I don’t want you to agree to make me happy and then feel trapped and then…” you trailed off, looking away from him. He furrowed his brow.
“And then what, leave you? Abandon you to raise my kid on your own? Do you really think I’d do that to you?” His tone sounded almost angry, but he didn’t mean for it to be. He wasn’t mad, he was hurt.
“No, Jay I-“ you sighed and ran a hand through your hair.
“I just don’t want to make you do something huge like this if it's not what you want. And I don’t want to force you to commit to me like that.” He scoffed at you.
“I think we’re well past worrying about me wanting to commit to you, doll.” You stared at him seemingly unconvinced, your fears and uncertainties visibly rattling around your skull.
He sighed. This wasn’t the circumstance he was hoping for, but his gut said it was time.
“You want to see how fucking serious I am about committing to you? Where the fuck are my jeans?” He gently pushed you off of him and told you to stay. He nearly chuckled at the cute, confused look on your face. He grabbed the pants he'd been wearing before patrol and fished his wallet out of his pocket.
“Look at this shit, I’ve been carrying this around with me for months.” You stared at him with a raised brow, wondering what the fuck he was doing. Out of the cash flap he pulled a small pouch of bubble wrap which produced a beautiful engagement ring. It was your picture-perfect ring; you couldn’t have picked a better one yourself. You froze, your breath catching in your throat.
“Jason-“
“No, shut up and listen to me. I love you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone on this god forsaken planet. You are beautiful, and kind, and funny, and so fucking smart. You’ve been there for me at my worst and my best without judgement. You’re one person that I know I can rely on, and I am so proud that you rely on me. I am a lucky fucking man to have you in my life, and if you want this baby I’m with you. And I’ll be the happiest man alive. But if you don’t want it, you don’t. And I’ll be happy with that too. But either way, I love you and I want you to be my one and only for as long as you’ll have me. So, what do you wanna do babe?”
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alexanderwales · 6 months ago
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Turning Off Your Brain and the Critical Lens
Alright, let's start with this: there is a thing called a critical lens. It is a way of looking at a piece of art, examining what it's saying to us about itself or its subject or themes or whatever.
There are many critical lenses. Because this is something that's mostly only taught at the college level, most of them are (in my opinion) mired in academic language and not actually all that interesting in and of themselves: I think if you read a dozen stories through a feminist lens, you really start to think "okay, yeah, I get it". Different readings of different texts through different lenses can be great fun though, and it's one of my favorite parts of media criticism, and something that I wish people were more explicit about.
I'm going to talk about the Barbie movie, because it's easy. The feminist lens is obvious and in my opinion intended: it's the thing that the movie is most trying to be about, and as a consequence, it's something that probably has the most critical meat. But you can also read the movie through other lenses, and ask what it has to say about capitalism, about race, about neurodivergence and queer theory and game theory and a bunch of other things.
Some of these readings are Unintended. The author (in this case, hundreds of people working together on the film) did not intend for you to look at the movie to see what it's saying about, say, American Imperialism. Probably.
I personally enjoy unintended readings. I like teasing apart a book to see what it's saying about different things, and how it's saying it, and what the assumptions it's operating under, and whether this creates anything interesting when I bring a different set of assumptions. I think the writers and actors of Winter Soldier were not trying to say anything in particular about masculinity, but fuck it, let's watch the movie and think about it.
Sometimes people will watch something and recommend that you turn your brain off. Sometimes they'll say this to you just as you're about to start in on some critical analysis of something that definitely was not made with that critical analysis in mind.
Here's how I think of "turning off your brain": it's a critical lens. It's not a critical lens in the sense that academics might use it, but you're looking at this piece of media from a specific viewpoint, and that viewpoint is "omg they're in love" or "fuck yeah" or "no, don't go into the basement!". There are certain pop genres that greatly benefit from being viewed this way, at least in terms of pure enjoyment.
When I sit down to watch a romcom, I can do it with male/female social dynamics in mind, or I can do it with "aw, I hope these kids get together" in mind. One is the intended reading, and I don't think that it should get all that much privilege for it, but I do think generally it can result in better enjoyment. I love media criticism and consider it to be one of my main hobbies, but if you fall in love with one particular way of viewing media and only use that single one, you're going to have a bad time.
I write and generally enjoy rational fiction, which comes with its own lens, which I guess we can call the rational lens. If you sit and view a work through the rational lens, sometimes you can have fun with it: you try to work through the systems as presented and the actions of the characters and think about how you could make everything make sense. The way to do this that's not very fun is to look at a work through the rational lens and conclude that the author is dumb, the characters are dumb, and the worldbuilding is shit. I guess this can be fun if you have a sense of smug superiority, but I personally do not.
One of the things that I love about media criticism is that you can sometimes extract weird and new things out of a work. One of the things that I love about fanfic is that you can take a deliberately strange reading of a work and then write as though that reading was true. You can look at Batman and say "what does this say about income inequality" and then start writing and say "this is about income inequality now". You can look at Winter Solider and find a reading where Cap and Bucky are gay and then write it out.
Where I think people fail in a way that's personally annoying to me is that they take their preferred reading and then loudly claim ("ironically" or not) that this is the One True Reading against which no other readings can stand. Sometimes "that is not The Point of [thing]". I think you get that a lot from the "shut off your brain" crowd, but I've seen it from other places too, and I would attribute it to people talking past each other, sometimes not even realizing what critical lens they're using.
If you're talking to me, you can just say "non-preferred lens" and I'll understand, or maybe I'll say "wat" because I might forget this blog post moments after I write it.
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weirdstrangeandawful · 2 years ago
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Part III – Safekeeping
TW: alcohol, emeto, dubcon (sexual, brief)
Word count: 882
<-Part II – A Night to Remember
Table of contents
Part IV – All In a Day’s Work->
Quinn goes to order another drink. They’re weaving and slurring their words. There’s no question that they’re drunk. Too drunk. Rowan intercepts them.
“Quinn, no,” Rowan declares, firmly, “You’ve had enough.”
“Fuck off.”
Quinn tries to push past Rowan but Rowan sidesteps, his height and girth easily cutting them off. They might stand a chance sober but they stand no chance against anyone in this state.
“I’m serious. Let’s go.” Rowan refuses to relent.
“Are you being insubordinate, gunner?”
Quinn tries to pull rank often. On ship’s business, and sober, it would work. Rowan would back off. Usually. Quinn outranks him. Rowan, as gunner and boatswain, wouldn’t dare question their judgement as sailing master. Right now, however, Rowan will absolutely dare question their judgement as a human.
“Yes. Now let’s go,” Rowan states, forcibly dragging Quinn out of the tavern and into the crisp evening air.
“How dare.”
“What are you going to do about it?” Rowan challenges, arguing so Quinn has reason to keep up and not turn back, “Tell Carroll? Carroll’s busy with his pretty rescued sailmaker. You’re going to interrupt him for this? He’ll see just how drunk you are and he’ll send you right home.” Rowan stops as Quinn falls behind and stops, looking ill. “You okay?” The concern, that never quite left, is back in his voice with renewed force.
“Fine,” Quinn pants gruffly, contradictorily punctuating their response with an involuntary retch before the minimal contents of their stomach empty themselves over the rail into the harbour.
Rowan waits until they recover, saying nothing. He doesn’t have to voice it; his concern is palpable anyway. “I’m getting you home,” Rowan presses, gentler this time but equally exasperated “And yes,” he continues, forestalling the inevitable argument with a preemptive decision, “you’re sleeping either in my bed or on my floor. Again.”
Brushing off the minor incident, Quinn walks off stubbornly, “This is becoming a habit, gunner.”
Rowan gently redirects them with a light touch as they walk off in the wrong direction. He sighs, knowing Quinn is so close to the truth and yet so far from realising it, “It certainly is. Come on.”
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Kyte leans into Carroll, trembling slightly. Carroll unfolds the covers and gently pulls them further over them both. He wraps an arm around Kyte.
“How are you doing? Cold?” he inquires gently.
“Not so much.” Kyte’s voice shakes too.
“You’ll be okay,” Carroll reassures, realising his shaking must be fear. He holds Kyte closer. “You’ll be okay. No one likes a wreck.” Kyte’s fingers grip Carroll’s shirt and his hair rustles against it as he nods. Carroll lays down, “Here. Get under the covers and get some sleep. You’re safe here.”
He pulls the covers fully over them both. Kyte gently rests his head on Carroll’s chest, his damp dark copper brown hair now drying to show subtle highlights as Carroll gently runs his fingers through it. Kyte’s breathing deepens into sleep.
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Quinn lies in Rowan's bed in Rowan’s arms. Their shirt is on the floor. They nuzzle into Rowan’s neck. Rowan sweeps the hair out of their face as Quinn muffles a sniffle.
“As much as I love the drunk hugs, Quinn,” Rowan says in the dark, “I’d appreciate some sober ones too.”
Quinn’s quasi-response comes drunk and tired “You’re really sweet, Rowan…” The vowels of Rowan’s name carelessly dropped from Quinn’s drunken speech. They start sobbing. They’re wracked by shoulder-shaking drunken sobs that Rowan’s shoulder fails to muffle. Their words come out jumbled and missing, “I just– you’re so… nice. And you’re just… nice. For instance you just… you give good hugs. You know? Good hugs.”
“Yes. Yes, I try,” Rowan murmurs, holding Quinn gently. “No,” Rowan protests, when Quinn tries to kiss him, “no, Quinn. I would be very happy to entertain this any other time, but right now, you are drunk.”
“Surely you wouldn’t resist just this once?” Quinn insists, gnashing their teeth softly and swinging their weight over Rowan.
Rowan can smell the alcohol on their breath as he pushes them off easily and gets out of bed, more concerned than uncomfortable. “I will very much resist this once and every time you are drunk. Tell you what; we’ll postpone it,” Rowan explains straightforwardly knowing full well, Quinn will pretend the incident never happened the moment they’re sober.
Quinn’s body relaxes and they roll over to make room for Rowan on the bed muttering “fine” under their breath. They nuzzle sweetly into him – a sharp contrast to their previous advances.
Fondly frustrated with Quinn’s prickly unwillingness to reciprocate any love or kindness, Rowan pokes at it slightly, hoping to plant a seed that just might remain until tomorrow morning, “Why don’t you ask me when you’re sober, all right?”
Thoroughly disappointed, Quinn latches onto it, “Well how else am I supposed to get the courage to… to tell you you’re handsome… little stupid face and shoulders and your warm stupid hands and your stupid nice eyes and you know all of your…” Quinn trails off, sobbing slightly.
Threading his arm under Quinn’s upper body, Rowan draws them closer. He inhales for an exasperated sigh but lets the breath out silently, pressing his forehead to the back of Quinn’s bare shoulder as he rolls his eyes fondly. Quinn grunts noncommittally.
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startrekprodigyfan · 3 months ago
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Incoming Rant.
I feel weird as a Star Trek fan because right now there’s more Star Trek than even when I was growing up… and yet… so much of it doesn’t feel like Star Trek to me.
Picard was awful all the way through. It’s bleak, it’s depressing, it’s inconsistent tonally, and it’s just flat out boring. It doesn’t add anything new to the universe and instead just mercilessly kills off many beloved characters for no reason. From Icheb, to Hue, to Q, and even to Bruce Maddox.
Section 31 is an interesting idea. A rogue mission impossible style agency within the federation doing covert missions? That’s fun… but this whole mirror universe Terran empire stuff has no appeal to me and the show looks nothing like Star Trek.
Discovery keeps doing the universe is in danger and spent so much time with the main character that we never got to know anyone else in the show. Then it just randomly jumps forward several hundreds of centuries. It’s so far removed from the Star Trek content I like, in both directions.
I’ve been wanting a Starfleet Academy show since I was a kid. Having a series follow cadets as they learn each week about different starship dynamics and regulations and protocols? That’s fun. I like that. But I do not want it set in the Discovery universe so far into the future. I always felt Starfleet Academy should be around the Wrath of Kahn era in between the old and the new Trek series.
Strange New Worlds is the closest we have to monster-of-the-week style classic Trek storytelling.. but due to streaming’s limited number of episodes we’ve barely surpassed Season 2 of TNG in terms of episode numbers after 3 years and a lot of the times the writing feels to just fall short of being good.
Both Prodigy and Lower Decks which both feel the most like Star Trek and focus the most on the ideals of classic Trek were cancelled and brought to an end far too soon. There’s so much more we can do with either series but the big-wigs don’t seem to care.
I’m convinced more than ever now that Star Trek flourishes when it’s animated and aimed at kids. I think the media landscape for adult oriented TV shows has moved so far into darkness and shocking content that doing Trek now doesn’t feel the same. The sense of joy and wonder at exploring space and sci-fi concepts is gone.
Everything has to be a universe ending storyline.
Everything has to be grim dark and depressing.
There’s no time to spend with any of the characters because we’ve gotta keep moving the plot forward because we only have 10 episodes to tell everything in.
Bigger budgets allow different looking tech and scenery, but they still want to be nostalgic for the past while not giving us the stuff we want.
I feel like getting Star Trek isn’t hard. Yet it’s weird how many of the people in charge don’t seem to get it at all.
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nightdiary · 2 years ago
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relationship firsts with txt
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word count: 4.2k genre: fluff, established relationship, mildly suggestive (at the end but nothing mature) author's note: had so much fun writing this one, hope it's just as fun to read! kind of went on a tangent with some of these but ... scratches head ... more for you to read! as always, feedback is greatly appreciated ^o^ enjoy 🤍
✧ yeonjun - sharing a bed
you’d like to bet that between you and yeonjun, your boyfriend was the braver one of you two. braver here being used loosely of course, and more in the context of yeonjun being absolutely unabashed in his affections and moves on you. shameless, to be more precise.
after all, he’d been the one to initiate your relationship. he’d also been the one to initiate your first kiss. organize your first date. say the unforgettable three words first. the whole nine yards, really.
“junnie, please,” you insist, threading your fingers through his and pulling him closer. “it’s awful outside, and my bed’s right here. my warm, soft, comfortablebed with your favorite person in it.”
“are you sure? really, don’t feel like you have to offer just to be nice,” he mumbles. his words are soft against the onslaught of rain outside, and you almost miss the timid edge to his voice.
he’s nervous, you realize with a start. your invitation appears to have thrown him off-guard, and it dawns on you that this is the first time you’d be sleeping in a bed together.
as if answering for you, the stormy sky outside splits open with another series of crackling lightning. flinching, yeonjun hugs his windbreaker tighter around himself, and you resist the urge to call him out for being stubborn. you’d spent the last half hour convincing him to stay the night, and after driving his excuses into dead ends, he had no option but to stay with his beloved partner instead of venturing out into the downpour.
tragic, right?
yeonjun and nervous aren’t exactly two things you’d put together. they can coexist, but not necessarily belong to one another. that being said, the strange predicament you found yourself in at the moment was making you worry.
“i promise,” you say, leaning in to peck him on the bridge of his nose. “now go shower. i love you, but you’re not coming into my bed with your outside clothes.”
as a freshly-cleaned yeonjun steps into your bedroom a half hour later, you try not to let your wandering eyes dip below his exposed clavicle. clearing your throat, you busy yourself with changing into your pajamas and slipping into your side of the bed, where you pretend to find interest in the miscellaneous belongings you’d strewn about your bedside table. now you’re feeling nervous.
yeonjun shyly perches himself on the edge of your bed, picking at a stray thread on your comforter. the image is so unlike the yeonjun you know, any semblance of your confident and shameless boyfriend now seemingly having been washed away. he’s replaced by a charmingly bashful version that you’ve only seen a handful of times before, primarily at the very beginning of your relationship.
it’s weird, and yet strangely endearing.
“there's room up here as well, y’know,” you prompt, snorting when yeonjun looks up at you like a deer caught in headlights. patting the space next to you, you pull back the blanket and smooth over the sheets, humming absentmindedly.
you hear movement a second later, looking up to find your boyfriend crawling up by your side and awkwardly shuffling under the covers. he lays on his side, peering up at you through his lashes and patiently waiting for you to join him. you take that as your cue to turn your bedside lamp off, plunging the room into semi-darkness.
you’ve just barely begun to make out the edges of yeonjun’s face when he shuffles closer, looping his arms around your waist and closing the distance between you two. his cold feet brush yours, and when you yelp in response, you’re met with a series of giggles that tell you there’s nothing to worry about.
“hi,” you say.
“hi,” yeonjun parrots, “you’re comfy.”
humming, you bring your hand up to massage the area where his neck meets his shoulders. almost instantly, you feel him relax even further into your embrace, dropping his face into your chest with a barely-discernable whine. got him, you think.
“does this mean i can sleep over more often?” it’s hard to hear him from where he’s mumbling against your shirt, but you’ve learned to decipher his sleepy murmurs.
“depends, are you going to get shy like this every time?”
yeonjun’s answer is muffled yet again, and you’re unsure if he was saying something or just whining again. tapping on his neck, you feel him draw back to look up at you, smoothing your thumb down the side of his cheekbone fondly.
“m’sorry, it’s just that i’m not used to you initiating things like this,” he says. his hand finds purchase along your hip and he rubs his thumb in comforting circles. “makes me feel nervous but in a good way. it’s nice to see you comfortable while doing these things.”
“so you’re saying i need to step my flirt game up,” you tease.
“whatever you’re comfortable with,” he’s quick to say, and you feel the fondness practically warm you inside out. no matter what he’s doing, yeonjun will always be gentle and considerate.
“well, looks like you’re in luck,” you decide, pinching his red cheek (gently). “cause i’m starting to take a liking to this shy side of you.”
✧ soobin - moving in together
out of all the things that could have gone wrong, you wonder why it had to be this.
“the moving company got their date mixed up,” soobin groans. he tosses his phone onto the only piece of furniture you two had managed to bring up yourselves– a rickety desk chair from ikea– and you snort as the sound reverberates around the empty room. “they thought we scheduled them for tomorrow. the guy sounded really sorry though, and offered a discount for the inconvenience.”
rubbing at your temple, you try to ignore the way your exhaustion grows tenfold at the news. “i’m too tired to be upset right now,” you admit. the only thing on your mind at the moment was rest. and food.
ever since soobin brought up the idea a year into your relationship, it’s been a big decision in the making. truthfully, it had always been at the back of your mind; the intimacy of sharing a living space with your partner. you knew you wanted to take this step with soobin and knew that it would require months of planning and arranging for it to be realized, but you were prepared to overcome whatever came your way.
finding an affordable place that wasn’t a considerable distance from both of your workplaces was challenging enough, but when you finally decided on a few candidates, another series of obstacles were presented. landlords had complicated requirements, especially for couples who weren’t married yet, and that left you with even fewer options than you’d first anticipated. add a pet into the equation, and you could count your choices on one hand.
(soobin had jokingly suggested you two get married to avoid one of the issues, but more and more often you found yourself wishing he meant it.)
the place you’d found was quite short of perfect, but it was lovely and fitting in its own regard. it had enough space for both of you and your baby (odi), and it was located in a neighborhood that allowed you to easily access family, the workplace, and a recreational area. soobin was going to live there with you, and that was enough to get you to overlook the less-than-perfect parts.
sitting down, you thank the universe that the place was at least clean when you arrived. you rest your back against the wall and close your eyes, listening as soobin cycles through another round of phone calls in the hallway.
you don’t realize you’ve drifted off until soobin gently wakes you up by patting your head. groaning and stretching, you almost fall over from excitement when you realize that the room smells like food. not just any food, but your favorite noodles.
the room’s still disappointingly empty and the sky outside is getting dark fast, but soobin’s looking at you with a dimpled smile and holding up a bag of takeout from your dearest restaurant like a trophy. you can write today off as a good day.
despite the fact that you still have no chairs or a table to eat on, you and soobin arrange yourselves and the few belongings you’d brought into a formation that allows you to eat comfortably on the floor of the apartment. you didn’t exactly dream of eating takeout on the floor of your empty place on move-in day, but hey, things have a way of working themselves out.
“this would be a good place for that shelf you liked at ikea,” soobin mumbles between chews, pointing his chopsticks in the direction of the wall adjacent to you.
nodding, you set your box of noodles down and gesture to the area by the grand window. “right? i was thinking odi’s cage can go here. and we can put up some curtains to make sure he doesn’t get too warm.”
something in your chest lets up. rolling your neck, you ignore the painful creak in your back and blink through your tired haze to admire your boyfriend. soobin, who had tirelessly pushed through today and made sure things worked out the best they could. soobin, who made sure you felt comfortable and accommodated throughout the whole process, especially when things got physically demanding. soobin, who loves you endlessly and got you your favorite meal after a long day.
“i’m really happy we’re doing this,” soobin whispers earnestly. his eyes dart around the empty room before settling on your hands where they’re cradled in your lap. “even if not everything goes our way, i’m glad i’m going through everything with you.”
“we’ll work this out too,” you promise, and it feels hopeful on your tongue. reaching out to encircle soobin’s free hand in your own, you squeeze it reassuringly. and when he smiles back, you start to believe yourself.
✧ beomgyu - meeting his family
there’s an element of truth to the saying karma is a bitch.
partially, you are at fault. but the instigator at fault here really, are those stupid romance movies you’d watched with beomgyu.
an important thing to note: neither you nor beomgyu are fans of romance movies. if anything, you two are able to bond over your mutual dislike of the genre, no matter which forms you choose to consume it in. that being said, your decision to binge-watch and extensively criticize them was coming back to kick you in the ass. hard.
“i promise my parents don’t bite,” beomgyu had said, in a light-hearted attempt to reassure you. “my brother might, but i’ll bite him back.”
you weren’t able to formulate a response back without screaming, so you gave beomgyu what you hoped was your best convincing smile. five minutes later, you found yourself at the threshold of his childhood home, stepping into it with quivering hands and a smile so shaky you feared it’d turn into a frown the second you relaxed.
here’s the thing. you’d always found it silly when couples met the parents in movies. you’d told your boyfriend that it was overexaggerated. cringy. unrealistic. sitting through the scenes made your skin physically crawl, especially when the characters purposefully got themselves into situations that evoked the strongest sense of second-hand embarrassment you’d ever gotten.
however, the worst part, inarguably, was the parents. without fail, every time, they were handpicked to be teeming with the most awful traits known to man. you understood it was purely for entertainment purposes, but god did it drive you up the wall.
tldr: you and beomgyu think romance movies are silly. you in particular think the meeting the parents scenes are the worst.
almost ironically, here you are, a solid five months into your relationship with beomgyu, meeting his parents.
they’re warm and inviting and the complete opposite of what your self-sabotaging brain had expected. his mother hugs you like you’ve known each other for years, smiling at you with a gentleness that makes your heart feel all funny. his father’s equally excited to meet you, eagerly ushering you into the house and bumbling about a much-needed tour (and a whole bunch of other things, but you’re still panicking and barely picking up anything else).
beomgyu remains at your side the entire time, hand securely held in his own as you shuffle after his father through the different rooms. you even get the pleasure of seeing beomgyu’s childhood room, which still retains a semblance of his younger self, encapsulated by the copious amounts of band posters and colorful figurines lining his shelves.
you’re joined by his older brother at dinner, who graciously introduces himself as beomgyu’s worst enemy and promises to show you blackmail-worthy material later. the meal itself is just as lovely, and you find yourself sheepishly reaching out for seconds and thirds when his parents encourage you to. the dishes spanning from one end of the table to the other are deliciously colorful and vary in taste and texture, and the thought of the family preparing for you in such a way has your heart clenching.
“this is freaking me out,” you tell beomgyu once the two of you retire to the guest room for the night. “why do they like me? why hasn’t one of them made fun of me for what i’m majoring in? are they going to hit me with it over breakfast tomorrow? because i’d rather not, i was really looking forward to those blueberry pancakes that your mom mentioned and–”
“babe,” he cuts you off, though not unkindly. his hands worm themselves around your waist, drawing you into a much-needed embrace.
letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, you rest your forehead against his shoulder and allow yourself a moment of vulnerability.
“i wasn’t just saying things when i told you they’d love you,” he murmurs. you feel him beginning to gently sway you side to side, and you let yourself become boneless in his hold. “you’re perfect for me, and i’m perfect for you. it’s not hard for them to tell.”
nodding, you try to even out your breathing to match his. after a few minutes of silent rocking, your boyfriend pulls back to look at you head-on, and your heart leaps into your throat at the sheer fondness in his expression. even in the darkness, his eyes gleam with adoration and you find yourself overwhelmed with love yet again.
“thank you,” you say earnestly. you hope beomgyu understands how much this means to you.
the next morning, you’re finally able to indulge in a choi family breakfast (featuring their infamous blueberry pancakes and breakfast tarts). the table isn’t filled with hostile comments regarding the ins and outs of who you are, but rather genuine inquiries into your field of specialty and interests. beomgyu and his family listen attentively, responding in their own unique ways and furthering the conversation with interesting bits about themselves.
you feel beomgyu’s eyes following you throughout the entire morning, straying only once his attention’s called for by his parents. you spend most of your time at the table, exchanging embarrassing stories with his brother, and before you know it, it’s already noon.
you and beomgyu are tasked with washing the dishes while the rest of the family head up to get dressed for the afternoon activity that your boyfriend had suggested. for the most part, it’s slow and quiet, just like the rest of the morning. you’re bringing over the mugs when it happens– beomgyu moves in and readily corners you against the counter, grinning mischievously when you go red all over.
“i’m starting to regret bringing you here,” he whispers, and you feel yourself freeze as the sound of footsteps approaches the kitchen. “i can’t even get you to myself…”
“here’s that photo of him with his underwear on his head,” you immediately recognize his brother’s voice, and you rush to set the mugs down in the sink before you drop them.
beomgyu whirls around with a glare so harsh you worry he’ll start wrinkling at 30, and promptly tries to rip the photograph out of his sibling’s hand. the kitchen’s soon filled with yells, and if you had no concept of who was fighting in the room, you’d think it were two toddlers.
you know it’s no use picking a side, so you use the distraction as an opportunity to slip out the back door and greet your favorite family member– toto.
✧ taehyun - saying “i love you”
there’s something on your mind.
you can’t pinpoint exactly when it started following you, but ever since you’d first taken notice of it, it hasn’t left.
it’s present in the little things; when taehyun’s mittened hand seeks yours out blindly, when his eyes follow you through crowds fondly, when the scent of his cologne fills the empty gaps of your life with familiarity, when his mouth wraps around the syllables of your name with care.
it’s everywhere even when he’s nowhere to be found; he’s the tiger lilies at the florist boutique on your block’s corner, he’s in the rhythm of the pop songs you hear at the grocery store, he’s the stuffed otter you hug to sleep on difficult nights.
it’s abstract and yet it isn’t. by all standards, it isn’t tangible. and yet you know you feel it when taehyun weaves his fingers tenderly through yours; you know you see it when taehyun’s eyes meet yours and the edges curl like crescent moons; you know it’s part of you when you feel warm and electric all over at the prospect of telling him.
you’re in love with taehyun, and you’re going to tell him tonight.
“there’s something on your mind,” he says, and the grin on his face tells you he already knows.
shrugging, you look back down at your phone, situated precariously in your lap. the bright numbers on your screen read 11:54 PM. six minutes to midnight.
“you don’t have to tell me what it is,” taehyun continues. “but you know you can tell me anything. right?”
“right,” you confirm, voice soft. looking over at the neighboring rooftop, you notice a group of teenagers beginning to spill out into the night air. “of course. i know that.”
five minutes to midnight. the december air is brittle with snow as it blankets seoul, coloring the dazzling landscape a muted white. taehyun’s coat sits snugly around your shoulders, warm and familiar, encasing you like an unspoken promise. even as your breath curls into the night in gray tufts, you can’t feel a semblance of cold.
four minutes to midnight. scuffing the edge of your shoe against the ground, you tuck your phone into your pocket and stand up. taehyun’s eyes follow you, but you’re too afraid to look back. you pace over to the railing and lean against it, breathing in deeply to steady yourself. your ribs ache with anticipation, your fingertips buzz, and your throat feels tight.
three minutes to midnight. somewhere in the distance, a loud shout rings out. the teenage company on the next roof over begins to light their sparklers, giggling buoyantly at the flares that spring up.
two minutes. your breaths begin to thin out, each stretching just a millisecond reach less than the other. your mind is reeling, positively overwhelmed with how much there is to say, but the diminishing seconds keep growing and you’ve got no time.
one minute. from inside, you can hear the tv program’s commentator begin to count down the seconds. stepping back from the railing, you look up at the sky. it’s dark and empty, void of any stars that should be there.
“i have something to tell you too,” taehyun whispers.
you blink the world back into focus. taehyun’s to your right, looking at you with the words ready on his lips. seoul is loud and brilliant, but you can only see him.
taehyun’s hand finds your own, and you don’t have to think. you love him.
“and i love you,” taehyun responds.
you don’t realize you’ve said it out loud until the birds in your chest spring free. the world around you erupts into a colorful blast of fluorescent yellows and reds and blues, deafening as the fireworks fill the sky with vivid spirals. your ears are ringing and you feel out of breath and your throat aches, like you’d just screamed away every last second into january.
“i love you, i love you, i love you!” your shouts are drowned out by the whistle and crackle of the ceremony unfolding above you, but taehyun can hear you and that’s all that matters.
the cotton of his mittens envelopes the sides of your face and he brings your lips to his own with a toothy grin. he’s warm and smells like evergreen pine, tastes like the cider you had earlier, and you love him.
✧ kai - first kiss
“i’m not making this a big deal,” kai pouts. his eyes flit across your face, and his brows furrow when he picks up on the nervous twitch of your lip. “i’m not, right?”
“you’re totally making this a big deal,” despite the fact that you feel like your heart’s about to beat out of your chest, you giggle.
perhaps, in retrospect, you shouldn’t have told your boyfriend about your inexperience surrounding kissing. though it was a conversation you knew kai would handle with utmost consideration, you felt jittery and nervous all the same.
the secret’s involuntarily revealed a few weeks into your relationship when kai tries to kiss you at the end of a date. in an anxious fit, you’d freaked out and backed away, but not for the same reason that your boyfriend initially suspected. after copious reassurances and promises, you’d told him the real cause behind your panic: lack of experience.
if anything, kai took your confession in stride. he’d hugged you instead and promised to talk about the matter later, when you two weren’t trembling outside of your apartment at midnight.
the talk in question was currently being held on the floor of your living room. the two of you are curled up by the foot of the couch, facing each other with varying degrees of red on your faces. there’s a show playing in the background, but you’d stopped paying attention a long time ago.
you’d told kai that you didn’t want to make it a whole thing, and that he didn’t need to feel obligated to do anything out of the ordinary for you. a kiss was a kiss, and whether it happened in the mundanity of your home or at the top of a ferris wheel, it only mattered to you who it was with.
you just wanted to get it over with, for both your and your boyfriend’s sake.
kai looks at you with something so tender in his eyes you feel your breath catch in your throat. as the last of your laughter dies out and the silence returns, you try not to think about how much you want to throw caution to the wind and press up against him.
“i’m going to do it now,” he announces, and you try not to burst into another fit of laughter. 
the ghost of his hand brushes by your nape, cradling the back of your head and thumbing at your skin soothingly. you hadn’t even noticed that you’d gone warm all over, and the contrast of his cold fingers against your neck makes you shiver. kai’s eyes meet yours questioningly, and when you give him an affirmative nod, he leans into your space with purpose.
it’s short and chaste and achingly sweet, but above all, more than you could’ve asked for. the pressure against your lips is unfamiliar but not unpleasant, and you find yourself melting right into the feeling. but it’s gone before your mind can catch up, leaving you suspended mid-air with a rushing heart, yearning for more.
kai draws back from the kiss with a nervous exhale, though he hovers in your orbit with a giddy smile, watching for your reaction. his cheeks are flushed and his eyes are chasing your lips like he wants to dive right back in, and you’re sure you’re in a very similar predicament. pressing your palm against your cheek in an attempt to soothe your burning skin, you shyly look up at him through your lashes.
“how was it?” he asks, the question spilling out between the two of you like a secret. there’s a vulnerable undertone to it that immediately has you sitting up and smiling reassuringly.
“hmm, i don’t know,” you say teasingly, with an embarrassingly breathless quality to your words. you reach out to brace your arms around his neck, toying with the soft tufts of hair you find. “you’re going to have to do it again, i wasn’t really paying attention.”
kai’s eyes grow the tiniest bit wide, but then his lips pull into an uncharacteristically smug grin as he moves to lean in again. “yeah? well since you insist…”
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0asisbliss · 8 months ago
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How JJK characters react to you cooking for them
Warnings: None. NOT PROOFREAD. Fluff.
Characters included: Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Yuuji, and Sukuna.
Dividers by: Plutism, and k1ssyoursister
A/n: inspo from my hxh version of this I thlought it would be fun - ̗̀ ( ˶'ᵕ'˶) ̖́- I kind of headcannon Sukuna as a weird boyfriend. 🤷🏽‍♀️
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Gojo
When he comes home it’s a possibility that he hasn’t eaten all day, so when he comes home to a freshly cooked meal he’s gonna eat everything in his sights. You always have to make sure you make enough for him to get seconds. He’ll always make sure to give you little compliments about your food.
When he gets in really, really late you often just put all of the food in the fridge, and write his name on it. When you do little things like this it makes his still heart skip a couple a beats. It’s always the small things you cook, and do for him when you’re in the kitchen is what he loves most.
He won’t always verbally tell you what he might want to eat. You sometimes have to take a lucky guess, and most of the time you’re correct. We all know Gojo has a huge sweet tooth so when you bake for him it makes him swoon he loves it when you bake cookies, and different cakes.
If there is room for improvement when you cook for him he’s more than happy to help you. Even though he doesn’t know the first thing about cooking or baking.
Kisses, and hugs go a long way when he’s in the kitchen with you, or when you bring him a plate and give him a small, but cute kiss on the cheek.
When you cook for him he likes to think of it being a very careful and thoughtful task you did just for him. It kinda makes him feel special you know?
'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'
Geto:
He thinks it’s cute when he comes home from dealing with annoying curses, and non-sorcerers to you in a cute little apron stirring some type of soup in a pot. He’ll eventually come behind you, and greet you. It’s like any other usual afternoon, he asks you how your day went, and what you did today.
Afterwards he might just observe you cooking. From time to time he’ll tell you bits and pieces of his day while leaning on the counter next to you. He also lets you do your own thing. Like he won’t tell you if you’re doing something wrong, or right. He’ll might tell you easier ways to do different things though.
He hugs your waist as you chop up onions, tomatoes, lettuce, and other vegetables. He looks closely for any errors or anything you might be during wrong. Not to be annoying, but to help you improve.He doesn’t intentionally interrupt you it’s just by habit having to correct someone. That’s he even does it with you.
'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'
Nanami:
Its was just another regular long day at work. He hung his coat up, and slipped inside the kitchen for a bite to eat. He noticed you when first entering that you were cooking something. You were in some sweats, and one of his t-shirts. He thought you looked beautiful just in a baggy t-shirt, and sweat pants.
Nanami always thought you were the most beautiful woman in his world. Even now when you were cooking him dinner. You chopped the vegetables, and other food items with such grace. He just stood there and watched you for a minute. You not even noticing him at first continue to chop and pour things into a pot. Only when you turn around to grab some butter out the fridge you find your husband staring at you in awe and adoration.
He starts to walk up to you. He gives long thoughtful hug then turns around and leaves. He didn’t stay long, and left you to do your cooking duties.
'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'
Yuuji:
It was routine for you to wake up and fix breakfast for Yuuji. Today was no different you gave Yuuji a quick kiss on the forehead before getting up and going to kitchen to get breakfast. Yuuji is always asleep whilst you cook breakfast, but today it was different. Yuuji got up strangely early. You thought that maybe he slept the day away yesterday, and decided got up earlier that usual.
Nonetheless he brushed his teeth, and took a quick shower. Once he was done everything he headed to the kitchen to have breakfast with you. You weren’t done though. Today’s breakfast would take longer that usual because you were cooking more stuff. Yuuji didn’t have work on that day so you decided to make something meaningful, and different. Instead of something quick, and easy like usually do on the week days.
On the weekends you would cook such breakfasts like pancakes, waffles, and other extra things. Yuuji’s appetite was kinda fairy big. So on the weekends you fed him want he usuals wouldn’t eat because of short time. So since you had a little bit of extra time you decided more than usual.
'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'
Sukuna:
My dude just stares at you. Literally not caring at all. It’s not until you keep doing that you actually see him reacting to your cooking. The thing is he made a uncomfortable face. It wasn’t your food he made that clear. Thank god. No it wasn’t that it was him thinking that you thought you had to cook for him in order to keep him happy.
You don’t know we’re Sukuna got it from.
“You know. You don’t have to do this every night woman.”
“I know I just like doing it-.”
“Oh. Well maybe say that next time.”
He went back to eating after that, and so did you. You thought nothing of it. Later that weekend night you saw Sukuna making you breakfast?
You offered to help him, but he declined and said he wanted you to sit down.
Maybe it was his way of thanking you? You weren’t really sure when it came to Sukuna and his mixed feelings. He always had a hard time expressing them. And when he really wanted to express them. He felt as if he’d say something stupid, or something corny.
It surely surprised you. It’s kinda rare for Sukuna to cook especially if it isn’t a special occasion. Maybe he just wanted to return the favor? You don’t know you maybe should still try to help him by at least washing the dishes. After cooking and eating you expressed your opinions on the food, and you loved it.
It was a start of a date night idea for you two. You two would cook for each other every once in a while. He would never admit it, but Sukuna liked doing this with you.
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actiniumwrites · 2 years ago
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𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒
synopsis: in which you friendzone them to protect your feelings, ignorant to the way they feel about you
characters: diluc, xiao, and kaveh x gn! reader (separately)
warnings: angst to fluff, reverse hurt/comfort, , slight swearing (i think), mentions of alcohol/ being drunk, spoilers for kaveh’s backstory, kaveh’s part is actually so long i’m so sorry
notes: got the idea for this out of the blue, but really liked it! i had a lot of fun writing these and would honestly be down to make a part two if you guys want it. also kaveh’s part was written before he was officially released this patch, so if anything is inaccurate, i apologize!
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Diluc:
When Diluc had asked you to attend an event at his house in honor of the winery, you hadn’t expected it to be so extravagant. Though, perhaps it was because it was the first time you had ever been to his house. Either way, you were in awe at the sheer luxuriousness everything seemed to possess.
“Wow, I seriously cannot believe you’ve never invited me to your house before,” you tease as your eyes glanced around the room. The dining table was huge and lined with various dishes you didn’t even know existed. Not to mention what the entire house looked like in general. You were too scared to touch anything in fear of it breaking.
“I did invite you over — several times, if you can recall. But according to you, you’re just so busy you never have the time,” the red haired male corrected you as he moved slightly behind you to guide you across the room, shoulders bumping together every so often.
“Well if I had known you were living like this maybe I would’ve made the time,” you joked, intentionally bumping your shoulder into his as you threw a smile toward him. His eyes averted themselves from your face and smiled off into the distance, completely ignoring your jests about his wealth.
The two of you had continued to joke around with each other playfully as he walked you around his house to give you a tour of sorts. You had noticed all the people around as you walked, all laughing and enjoying the delicious food and wine Diluc had provided. Even Kaeya was here, you noted to your own surprise, seemingly catching up with some of the maids.
“Oh, I almost forgot, there’s someone I’d like you to meet,” Diluc interrupted your moment to observe. His hand moved to the lower half of your back to guide you in the direction of blonde haired woman in maid attire. Your hand shook hers as Diluc introduced her to you, “This is Adelinde, the head housemaid of the winery.”
You smiled and told her your name, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Diluc’s best friend.”
“Oh,” she said strangely, as if you had said something wrong. Almost seamlessly, Adelinde covered up her tone as she spoke again, “Ahem, it’s a pleasure to meet you as well. Please do enjoy yourselves tonight and let me know if you need anything.”
Diluc cleared his throat and put his hand around your shoulders as you said your goodbyes. Although, the second she was out of your sights, he dropped it, “So, how about some food?”
You hesitated, sensing something was wrong. His smile looked stiff, like it wasn’t quite reaching his eyes. You could almost sense desperation within his tone, like he didn’t want you to start your usual interrogation when you thought something was wrong, “Oh um, sure.”
He walked you over to the table standing next to your side, but didn’t dare to put a hand on you like usual. It wasn’t something you often paid any attention toward, but now it just felt weird — cold even.
“I’ll go grab you some fresh wine from the cellar, take whatever you’d like,” Diluc said quickly before rushing away. Your brow furrowed as you watched him disappear from your sight.
“What’s with the frown?” a silk voice asked. Your eyes snapped up to meet the blue haired man you knew to be Diluc’s brother, Kaeya.
“Long time no see, Kaeya,” you said, turning your attention back to the food as you served yourself a plate. Kaeya grabbed one too and began filling it as well.
“Oh, you should try these, they’re delicious,” he said as he placed a small dessert on your plate, “but don’t tell Diluc I said that. Can’t have him thinking I like his baking or anything.”
He continued as he grabbed himself another glass of wine off the table next to the food, “Anyway, what’s up with the gloom expression? Don’t tell me Diluc hurt your feelings?”
“No,” you grumble. It had been awhile since you had last seen Kaeya. Not that it was on purpose, because honestly, you never had a problem with him like Diluc did. Time just didn’t seem to allow the two of you to meet aside from a few times a year. “If anything, it was the other way around. Problem is, I don’t know what I did.”
“Well if it’s any consolation, Diluc is very fond of y—“
“Kaeya. Leave them alone,” Diluc interrupts with an annoyed look, shooing Kaeya away. Kaeya leaves without a word. A sly expression was on his face, hoping you would catch on to what he was trying to tell you.
Diluc held the bottle of wine in front of him, silently offering you some. You nodded your head and he poured you a glass before making another excuse to walk off again. The same thing seems to happen a few more times before you reach the end of the night. What had started off as a fun event for the two of you to enjoy, seemed to trickle into nothing but misery for the both of you.
The walk home was quiet. Honestly, you weren’t even sure why he had offered to walk you home if he was just going to stay silent the entire time, “You didn’t have to walk me home if you’re just gonna have to walk all the way back, y’know?”
“It’s fine,” he said curtly, not even making eye contact with you, “I have to go to Angel’s Share anyway. There’s some paperwork I have to pick up.”
“Oh.”
It’s silent again for the next ten minutes of the walk. It isn’t until you’re approaching the bridge to the city that you speak up again, “Diluc?”
“Yeah?”
You sighed and stopped walking, “Listen…did I maybe, I don’t know, say or do something to upset you? Because if I did, I’m really sorry and I just want things to not be awkward between us.”
You could tell he was contemplating not answering you by the frustrated expression on his face. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally spoke, still staring somberly off into the distance, “Answer this honestly. What are we? What is this?” His hands gestured between you and him as he spoke. His tone is rushed and there’s bitterness behind it.
“Well, we’re friends…aren’t we?” you carefully asked, almost questioning yourself.
“That’s the problem,” Diluc finally cracked, “I don’t want to be just friends. This entire time I thought that maybe there was something more than that between us…but I suppose I was wrong.”
Your eyes widened and your hands moved to grip tightly around his own before he could walk away from you again, “Why didn’t you say anything? I could’ve told you I felt the same if you had just, I don’t know? Said something about it? How was I supposed to know you had feelings for me?”
“I’m sorry, what? So you do feel the same way?”
You put two and two together and a teasing smiled made it’s way back to your face,“Archons, was this all because I introduced myself as your best friend to Adelinde?”
“What? No, of course not,” Diluc adamantly denied your accusation. He grabbed your hand and began to pull you away while you burst out laughing at the realization, “You’ve had too much to drink.”
“No! I barely drank anything, you liar,” you punched his shoulder, “Admit it, you were upset you got friendzoned and —“
Diluc turned around swiftly, pulled you toward him and placed his lips on yours within a matter of seconds, effectively shutting you up. His fingers interlocked with yours as he pulled away and began to walk you to your house. When you arrived at your doorstep, you turned around and placed one final kiss on his lips.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” you smiled. Diluc looked away again, failing to resist the smile that tugged at his lips. It was the first time Diluc had been genuinely happy in a long time.
He smiled as he turned away from your house to leave, “Yeah, see you tomorrow.”
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Xiao:
Xiao felt his heart racing when he heard your voice calling his name from somewhere in Liyue. Somewhere he couldn’t pinpoint. There was pain in it, and Xiao hated when you said his name in any way that wasn’t positive.
“Xiao! Please,” he heard you call out again, this time more pained than the last. The sound of your cries echoed in his ears and a feeling of his own pain surrounded his heart.
A few seconds longer and you could’ve ended up dead. It’s all Xiao could think about when he finally made it to you, heavily breathing in and out from how scared he was to lose you.
You were covered in bruises and bathed in blood — whether or not it was your own, he wasn’t sure. Your eyes were half shut and your head was leaned back in relief at the sight of him. Several abyss mages of varying elements lie dead on the ground around you. Your polearm lay amongst them, cracked in half and dented all over.
Xiao spotted your vision a few feet away, anemo like his own. He gathered it quickly alongside your polearm before securing it on him so he could pick you up. Once his arms were wrapped carefully around you, he didn’t hesitate to teleport away and back to the inn.
“Here, lay down,” he spoke curtly. You watched through half-lidded eyes as he moved across the room to fetch his medical supplies. This wasn’t the first time he had to treat your injuries, but it wasn’t often that it was this bad.
Xiao worked quickly with your injuries, it was effortless and he was careful not to hurt you. Unbeknownst to you, his heart was racing out of control the entire time. Not only was there left over anxiety from when you had first called for him, but it had carried over and made itself at home as he worked away at your injuries. There was too much red oozing out of your body and the bruises were only growing.
What if he hadn’t gotten there on time? What if he was only a few seconds later? What if he hadn’t heard you call out for him?
“Archons, I am feeling so much better,” you interrupted his poisonous thoughts. Your leg was lifted into the air as you inspected the bandages wrapped around it and all the bloodied rags that sat beside you on the floor.
Xiao’s eyes hardened for a moment while looking over you, an unreadable expression within them, “Please do not get injured like this again.”
Contrary to his eyes, yours softened and you took his hand in yours, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you, I just—“
“It’s fine,” he cut you off when he began to feel weird, not used to people caring about his feelings. Xiao helped you up and out of the bed, his arms wrapped around yours to keep you stable as he walked you to the bathroom counter to finally change out of your bloodied clothes.
Your face was close to his as you spoke, “No, Xiao, really. I can’t thank you enough for all the times you’ve helped me out and even allowed me to help you. You just mean so much to me and I’m so lucky to have you as a friend.”
‘So lucky to have you as a friend’
It echoed in his mind over and over again, more than the voices of his late yaksha friends. For once, another source of pain had finally outmatched his past.
You didn’t see him how he saw you.
Xiao felt his body go cold at the realization. He remained oddly silent as he helped you to the bathroom, not even bothering to give you a response or so much as a simple nod. As soon as you were actually in the bathroom, he backed up immediately and nodded before mumbling something about needing to take care of some other stuff. He had even disappeared before you could utter a goodbye.
Not returning for hours was something you were used to when it came to Xiao. He wasn’t social at all, and that was something you readily accepted when you first offered to become friends with him — even if he declined over and over again.
But hours turned into days and days turned into a week. Xiao hadn’t returned since that night you were injured.
You weren’t sure what happened to him. Maybe he was hurt while out protecting, or maybe he was just in one of those weird social slumps again. But when Xiao finally ran into you one day, it was undeniably awkward between the two of you.
“Xiao?” you urgently called out to him, a mix of worry and shock in your voice, “Hey, are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” he replied bluntly, eyes barely looking at yours. He looked as if he wanted to be anywhere but there.
You squinted your eyes, analyzing him carefully, “That’s it? I haven’t seen you for a week! I get injured and then all of the sudden you just freak out and leave? It doesn’t make any sense. Listen, if something happened, you can tell—“
“Nothing happened. I said I’m fine,” he cut you off before turning his body and grabbing his polearm, ready to teleport off like he always did. You quickly grabbed his arm before he could though, a tight grip that wasn’t painful but made sure he couldn’t escape.
“Let go.”
“No.”
“Ugh, could you stop holding my hand like that.”
“Huh?” Your phase morphed into shock, confused as to why he suddenly cared about you holding his hand. You’d done it in the past, so it wasn’t like it was anything new to him. Besides, you were always careful not to do anything to freak him out.
“If we are just friends, then I do not want you holding my hand like that,” Xiao said before pulling his hand from yours with a harsh sigh.
“Wait, what?” you asked quickly before he could leave, “What does this have to do with us being friends?”
Xiao stared blankly at you for a few seconds, like he was contemplating whether or not he should speak again, until finally, he confessed, “The other day…you thanked me for being such a good friend. That is not what I want.”
A pang hit your chest and a tiny prick rippled behind your eyes at his confession, “You don’t want to be friends anymore?”
“Huh? Why would you think such idiotic things? No— I mean yes, I do want to be your friend. But I do not want to be…just friends,” Xiao explained. His cheeks were beginning to turn red and his eyes averted even more. He was nervous, you finally realized.
“You…you have feelings for me? Xiao, you should’ve told me. Avoiding me for a week straight wasn’t cool, you know?”
Xiao nods and crosses his arms, seemingly unsatisfied with your answer until you added on, “I have feelings for you too. I really like you, Xiao. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you were just a friend, but I also didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or scare you off or something.”
“It’s okay,” he said quietly, barely above a whisper. His hand twitched before it quietly reached for your own and took it in his. His grip was firm, like he was scared you would leave.
“Xiao?” You grabbed his attention when you noticed his eyes falter, like he still couldn’t quite grasp the reality of your feelings.
“Yes?”
“I really like you, okay? I don’t want you to ever think otherwise.”
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Kaveh:
“Kaveh! Look at this!” your smile lit up as you dragged Kaveh toward a merchant selling various little trinkets. Kaveh willingly followed, idiotically smiling behind you at your childlike excitement. His hand tightly gripped around yours to ensure you wouldn’t go too far or get separated from him.
The two of you had decided to take a greatly needed break after working for hours upon hours each day for the past two weeks on a shiny new blueprint for a brand new Akademiya research center in the desert. The complications of what the research required versus the heat in the desert and its effect on the lab materials was making it difficult to come up with a practical, yet complex enough lab for the researchers. The headache it had brought upon the two of you was no joke, and you had finally realized that a break was the only thing that would get you through the block you were collectively stuck in.
“Hello, dears,” the old woman spoke gently, a bright smile on her face that perfectly creased her eyes. She had an immensely warm aura to her and you couldn’t help but match her smile. Kaveh glanced to you, a small smile gracing his own face as his cheeks turned slightly pink. He couldn’t help it after he saw how good you looked today.
“So,” you started, eyes bouncing around to each and every item she had to sell, “How long has your shop been open? Everything here looks so beautiful!”
“Oh, why thank you, dear! It’s been open for nearly two decades now. It is indeed strange to see how much time has passed,” she answered happily, reminiscing on the early days of her shop. She had told you how she opened it with her husband, but how he had long since passed, to which Kaveh and you had offered your respects.
Your eyes danced over all the trinkets again, but you couldn’t help but notice the little figurines that looked like creatures from your childhood. You couldn’t quite place where you knew them from, but you picked it up regardless and fidgeted with it before turning to Kaveh, “I think I’m gonna get this one, what do you think?”
“It’s cute,” he said with a gentle smile, admiring the little blue plant like figure in your hand, “I think I’ll get one in red.”
You finished paying the kind woman for your purchases and thanked her dearly once the two of you were done. The conversation had continued a little while afterward, with both you and Kaveh intrigued in the stories she kindly shared with you.
The sun was beginning to near its setting time, you noticed. The blues were fading to oranges and reds and the air was beginning to get a little colder, signaling the night was on its way.
“Thank you again,” you told her, “These are really nice, I’ll be sure to place them in my workroom so I can see it everyday!”
“Oh, that’s awfully kind of you, dear. I must say, I admire the way you treat everyone as your friend. It’s truly a rare quality to find in someone these days,” she gushed.
“Thank you! I really just try to make everyone feel comfortable and welcome,” you explained before you said your goodbyes. The woman said her goodbyes too, telling the two of you to visit her again sometime soon and tell her all about the architectural work you guys do.
Kaveh nearly stopped in his tracks as he processed the conversation the two of you just had. You hadn’t even caught the hesitation in his voice or the sudden change in his mood.
You treat everyone like that?
“Ugh, she was so nice, wasn’t she?” you rambled, but Kaveh was only half listening. Not that you had noticed that either.
“Oh, uh, yeah!” he blurted out, not entirely sure that he had even heard you correctly. His eyes followed the pattern of his shoes pressing against the floor as he swung the bag next to him back and forth, lost in thought. You didn’t question him once.
It was quiet for the rest of the walk aside from you announcing that you were tired and were going to check in for the night. Kaveh had agreed and walked you home all while hoping that you wouldn’t notice his sudden quietness.
If Kaveh was being honest, his brain felt like it was spiraling out of control.
One moment he’s walking around with you all day, enjoying his time off. And the next, he can’t stop replaying a silly conversation with an old woman who he barely knew.
The worst part is, he couldn’t help but take it personally. Being treated like he was on a pedestal and then having it ripped away is something Kaveh is used to, but he never thought he would have to go through it with you.
You made him feel special, like one of a kind. The way your eyes always lit up so brightly when you greeted him at work everyday. The way you hugged him when you were feeling down and no one else. The way you always treated him to food and drinks without ever asking him to pay you back because you knew he was struggling — and not once did you ever make him feel bad about it. The way you would jump to hold his hand when you got excited about something or when you were scared when lightning would strike.
You never did any of those things with anyone else. But all this time, you made everyone feel like they were your friend, like they were special in their own way. For all he knew, you did little things like that with everyone and made them feel like one of a kind too. Maybe Kaveh was nothing, he thought, maybe he was really just like everyone else. Just your friend and nothing more.
Kaveh bowed his head to his chest when he arrived home, his hand leaned forward to support himself as he felt the tears coming on. Being emotional or overdramatic was something Alhaitham had always criticized him for, but you? You always taught him to embrace it and let what he was feeling out. You had helped him with so much of his life and moving on toward bigger and better things, but now he couldn’t help but feel bitterness in his heart.
The keys in the blonde’s hand returned back to his pocket almost immediately after retrieving them. His palm dragged down the gray wall of Alhaitham’s house and back to his side. Kaveh couldn’t bear to enter his own home, not at this hour with such painful thoughts in his mind. Alhaitham would probably nag him anyway, and he really didn’t feel like dealing with his cruel words tonight — and Kaveh never liked when they were about you. You didn’t deserve that, even if it was just a joke.
And so he returned to the tavern once more in his life. Drinking away his problems was unhealthy, you had told him, but right now he didn’t care. You weren’t here and there was no one around to stop him from throwing back drink after drink. It had been a long time since Kaveh had been truly drunk, but today was enough to turn him away from sobriety.
“Kaveh. Get up.” A voice echoed painfully in his ears.
“[Name]?” he mumbled out incoherently as he blindly reached toward the figure in front of him. Their hand swatted his away before swooping under to pick him up. Kaveh mumbled your name a few more times, desperately trying to figure out what was happening.
“Why are you at the Tavern, Kaveh? Have you not learned your lesson about drinking?”
Oh. That’s who it was. Kaveh should have known by the sharpness in the voice or the annoying familiarity it held.
“Alhaitham? Get off of me,” he tried pushing the Scribe away. Alhaitham didn’t budge as he slammed a few bills on the table and carried Kaveh out of the Tavern. Lambad waved him off, but thanked him for taking care of the architect.
Your name continued to slur from his mouth, blending together into what almost sounded like gibberish. Not to mention the near beating Alhaitham had endured as he carried Kaveh around Sumeru.
You, on the other hand, hadn’t expected a knock at your door at nearly two in the morning.
“Alhaitham? What’s going on? Why do you have Kaveh?” you quickly questioned. Alhaitham shoved Kaveh toward you, a pained groan falling from his lips as he fell into you. The Scribe explained the situation to you. How he had never seen Kaveh come home that night, but later found him at Lambad’s Tavern drinking himself to death as he cried to the sound of your name.
You could only muster a silent nod out, confused but entirely willing to take care of Kaveh. You cared a lot for him after all. Alhaitham had shown himself out afterward, telling you to drop him back off tomorrow so he won’t bother you too much with all his whining. You breathed out a strained laugh and then shut the door before you turned your attention back to Kaveh and helped him to your couch.
“Kaveh?” you asked gently as you tucked a blanket over his shivering body. Teary red eyes stared back at you blankly, refusing to answer. You sighed and then nodded, accepting he may not have been willing to tell you anything. And although you had never outright admitted it, drunk Kaveh was not someone you enjoyed dealing with, “If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I can’t help you.”
“It doesn’t matter. You can’t help me anyway,” he scoffed and turned away like a child who just got told they couldn’t have their favorite toy. You wanted to say your patience was wearing thin, but honestly, you could never truly be mad at Kaveh.
“Kaveh.”
It was silent for a moment. You could only see about half of Kaveh’s face as he buried the other half in the side of the couch with his hair covering parts of his eyes. The quiver of his lip, however, was not amiss to you. Neither was the quiet sniffle or the tears that gently slid down his face.
“It’s nothing,” he whispered to you, voice cracking as a hand quickly moved to his mouth to muffle his cries. He hoped you didn’t hear, but he knew you weren’t stupid.
“It’s not nothing. You’re hurt, Kaveh,” you rubbed his back. Kaveh leaned into your touch and brought his head up to meet your eyes.
Teary eyes stared into yours and he sighed before speaking, giving into you like he wished he always could have, “I thought I was more than just a friend to you. But I was stupid and I realized today that I’m not any more special than anyone else. You treat me just like you treat everyone else because you’re so kind and caring and��� Archons, I am so stupid to believe that we were ever more than that.”
Kaveh paused before he spoke again, voice shakier than before, “I really don’t want you to leave, but I get it if you want to or if you don’t want to be friends anymo—”
Your lips were on his before he could finish his sentence. When you pulled back, you noticed his eyes widened like he had sobered up all at once, “You are special to me, Kaveh. I’m so sorry if I made you feel like you weren’t.”
Kaveh smiled as a few more tears spilled out of his eyes, “You really mean it?”
“With my whole heart.”
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limes-sagau · 6 months ago
Text
Mondstadt Sagau Shimegi AU Drabbles
I'm Alive! 
Sorry this took a hot minute to put out, but here's the Mondstadt edition of the Shimeji AU. I did every playable character from Mondstadt, some of them have shorter sections *cough* Mika *cough* simply because they haven't had much screen time in the game or I don't know them well enough. In the future I might do an update post for some of them. Also this should be treated like crack. Now that this is out I can move on to actually writing the First chapter of To Build A Haven which should be up soon. 
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ALBEDO:
Curious but not a menace 
He looks at everything your doing with absolute interest 
He wanders around looking at what you're doing and writing what he observes down on a notepad. 
If He’s really interested in something on the page you're on like a photo or text he will snag it to get a closer look (for those who don't know there is a function that allows shimeji to grab items and take them off screen, this can be reversed by simply refreshing). 
He gets a little miffed when you refresh to get the item back in its correct place but he's not upset for long. 
If you leave your computer he will end up messing around and looking up articles on chemistry and physics, he tried searching up alchemy and he just got led down a rabbit hole that he later found out was all fake.
So there's no alchemy in your world, interesting! 
Uhh Oh! He accidentally duplicated! 
He’s immediately on guard once he sees the duplicate
Is that his twin! No wait, the mark on the twins neck is there!
He realizes it is just a full carbon copy of him that just wanders around mindlessly.
He will get a little antsy if you let the duplicates get out of hand in their numbers so make sure to dismiss the duplicates 
He just wants to study this strange world in peace. 
AMBER:
She confused as hell. 
She waves to you whenever you return from getting up from your computer 
She is the opposite of a menace. 
She almost is too helpful 
She sees her knightly duty in this weird in between world to be of help to you. 
If you're easily distracted while working on something like a document she will wave her hands around and try to get your attention so you get back to work. 
And while she is not an expert in grammar she’ll try her best to point out errors in your sentencing. 
When you're not working on something important she has a lot of fun climbing the walls of your screen and jumping off to glide across your screen. 
If you pick her up with your  cursor and toss her she’ll laugh and glide down
Don't shake her though! She’ll get dizzy!
BARBARA: 
Shy babbie!
At first she's kinda cowering in the corner so confused as to what's happening and in awe of your presence. 
Eventually she chills out a bit but she never fully relaxes.
You got spotify going in the background?
Great! This is how Barbara got introduced to (insert music genre here) or (insert artist here) 
She will be scandalized if you play something with profanity, innuendos, or sexual references.
Like full clutching of pearls
Do not play Squidwards Nose for her. She is sweet baby, she doesn't deserve that. 
I'm sorry if some of yall dont like what I'm about to say… but the moment you play one of Taylor Swift's songs she's hooked.
I'm talking like something from Folklore, Evermore, or Midnights.
Her favorites are Clean, Willow, and Snow on the Beach (she does not like the F bomb in that one though)
She does try to give everything you listen to a fair shot even if it might not be her style.
If she likes the song she will sing and dance along to it.
BENNETT: 
He fall over all the time 
So Bennett will be like climbing the side of your screen and will lose his grip and fall. 
If you catch him he'll be so happy.
Hes kinda wandering around your page
He do be trippin (and not in the fun way) 
There was this time where he picked up one of the items on your screen and didn't know how to set it down.
He ran around scared and confused until you refreshed the page. 
If you pick him up and shake him, he will get dizzy. 
DILUC: 
He’s pretty chill 
He will start wandering the internet if you leave him alone with your computer open
Hopefully he doesn't find your fanfics
Who introduced him to Batman?!?!
JUSTICE FOR MONDSTADT!!!
Not that big into the superhero movies but he does really connect with Batman, who would have guessed. 
Show him the Mt. Dew wine or the Peeps Wine from TikTok and the disappointment will be so evident on his face. 
That's not even wine 
If you do bring up some articles on wine brewing and aging techniques he will read them and take some of the methods to possibly use at Dawn Winery. 
DIONA: 
She small she baby 
Normally she’s chill
But If you drink in her presence be prepared to experience the menace of menaces
Every time you leave your computer unattended expect to come back to either your browser being on a local AA group website or on a study showing the impacts of alcohol on the body. 
She aggressively points at what's on screen whenever you come back
She can be reasoned with if you give her a pat.
She can also be pacified by one of those videos of birds meant for cats
She also likes those games made for cats where it's like a bug or ants crawling across the screen and you gotta crush them. 
She tries to jump around the screen but she short, holding her up to catch all the crawlies. 
EULA:
Eula is confused by modern internet slang 
She mainly stands guard in the corner not wanting to get in your way 
She's in the overly respectful gang 
Don't pick her up and shake her she will seek revenge
Likes the cat videos on facebook though
She like the “going no contact with toxic family” type videos on TikTok since she can relate. 
Boomer but she working on it 
FISCHL:
Who let this theater major in the building?
She is by far the most distracting shimeji you can have on your browser 
“The Prinzessin der Verurteilung desires your attention at all hours” 
When your working you literally have to dismiss her if you want to get work done
If you leave her on screen when you leave your computer you will come back to her somehow reading Twilight.
The can of worms has been opened and Fischl's Twilight phase has been unleashed.
She also grows to love shakespeare if you ever have to read one of his works for a class
Holds up skull “Alas poor Yorick”
She does hate The Taming of the Shrew (if you know you know)   
JEAN: 
Like her sister she is also a bit confused 
This internet lingo is so confusing 
This is a facebook mom 
How did she get an account? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 
The funny thing is is that she successfully and pretty accurately shuts down alot of bigoted people 
She gain like a cult following of converted beige housewives 
KAEYA:
He isnt distracting like Fischl is but he’s like a cat who wants attention so they climb over your keyboard until you gotta move them and give them pets. 
Menace 
He’s the worst when it comes to fishing your fics out of your files when your away 
You gotta lock them up, time to move everything to your phone… rip storage space. 
You accidentally introduce Kaeya to his new guilty pleasure besides Wine… Horse Girl Movies!!!!
It's bad… It's really bad, his favorites are the movies Spirit and Felicity (yes the American girl movie).
The man misses his horse, why do the favonius cavalry have no horses? the captain of the calvary should have a horse!
He also is somewhat interested in the wine industry from around your world. 
He might give you a list of types he would like you to bring if you ever visit their world. 
KLEE:
Protect this one because she's so smol.
But also keep her from blowing up your documents-
She picks up whatever she wants and will set it down in the wrONg place but if you scold her about it she’ll give you puppy eyes and apologize.
And then do the exact same thing not ten minutes later.
She will wander around wherever she can so do not let her out of your sight. Open tabs, downloads, files, browser history, nothing is safe.
LISA:
similar to albedo in that she is curious about everything.
She likes that she can chill out and read whatever comes on screen
One of the worst if she finds your writing
She will correct your grammar and give suggestions while actively flirtily mocking your work. 
Likes making you flustered in the middle of work 
She requested you make her a playlist on spotify so you sit down and show her a few artists you think she would like 
She adds a bunch of music from (Hayley Kyoko, Muna, Clario, Mxmtoon, and Janelle Monae) 
She listens to it when she's on your computer and you aren't around while she looks through the internet.
MIKA:
I don't know this child!!! 
Literally I know nothing, hopefully he gets more character time in future quests
I'll come add more latter if we are given more 
Spawn in a Len(vocaloid) Shimeji and he’ll be so confused 
Who is this doppelganger! 
MONA:
Girl is going insane learning our world's zodiac system!
You have to dismiss her sometimes because she asks so many questions, some of which you don't know the answer to. 
“What Do You Mean? It's Considered A Pseudoscience!!!” 
She is beyond insulted if you don't believe in astrology.  
If you do believe in astrology she's so excited 
Give her your Natal chart and she’ll be ecstatic
After she learns everything she can about your world's astrology, whenever you boot up your computer she’ll give you your horoscope for the day.   
NOELLE:
She’s so polite! :D
Doesn’t do much climbing, but when she does it’s to clean the cobwebs in the corners of your tabs.
Will remind you to drink water and have stretch breaks every so often and will be very sad if you don't.
You better clear your browser history before she tries to take a broom to it. she doesn’t deserve to see what you look at, you degenerate fifth.
She either likes ICP or studio ghibli soundtracks; there is no inbetween.
RAZOR:
Precious Puppy™
He is very confused by the internet but he’s still very curious . 
Will patiently watch you work and will bite pop-up ads
Starts looking up pictures of wolves cause he's a precious baby and ends up in the furry community. He is very confused. He is very scared. Save him before he learns what an omega is.
ROSARIA: 
She's chill 
She's easily bored so she will on occasion if you are doing work just dip out 
How did she figure out how to dismiss herself?
Most of the time she leaves when your working 
She will stay if there is a church event back on Teyvat that she wants to get out of. 
If you summon Fischl they will both watch Twilight together 
Though Rosaria will leave after the first movie, she doesn’t like any of the other movies. 
She also has a few strong opinions on the way that Stephanie Meyer handled Native Americans in the book. 
SUCROSE: 
very curious and intrigued by the internet and will watch you work from the top of your tab and take notes.
will ask a bunch of questions about and google the answers when you leave.
got into a fight with a redditor about something sciencey you didn’t understand and battled that man for hours.
She won.
She likes watching ted talks and documentaries when you’re on break and wiLL get lost in wikipedia if you let her. Please don’t let her because she is very small and that website is very big. 
VENTI: 
#1 MENACE!!!
He's up about climbing the walls and flying all about the screen. 
If you are trying to get work done good luck 
If you ask he will sit down and be somewhat quiet 
If you listen to music while you work he will either be singing along to it or if the BPM is fast enough singing and dancing along with the music. 
He likes listening to the music you listen to because he can learn what to perform if you ever come to Teyvat.
He at first will be thrown off if you listen to something that's more on the sexual side ( im talking something like Ayesha Erotica, or cupcakKe) but eventually he gets used to it and has a lot of fun distracting you when those types of songs come on. 
Like Kaeya, he is also interested in the wine from your world. 
You have to tell him to narrow down the list he gives you of wines to bring to Teyvat… it was 2 pages long.
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