#weighing scale for shop | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

animamii · 16 days ago

Text

Lost | Eren Yeager

Based off of Lost by Frank Ocean aka my fave song

Plug!Eren au (maybe more like druglord!Eren??)

warnings; smut ofc. Drugs ofc. Pet names. The word 'daddy' in a sexual connotation.

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈••┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈••┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈••┈••✦ ❤ ✦••

... Triple weight couldn't weigh the love I've got for the girl....

He just looked at her in awe, proud of his girl as she sat the kilo on the triple beam, adjusting the counterweights to receive the precise measurements. It wasn't long ago that she was a novice in the trade. Just weighing out measly dime bags printed with spades or dollar signs. In all honesty he couldn't believe he had her out here so eager to help him flip his brick. Maybe it was the way he would spoil her after every pound they sold. The trips to the Maldives and shopping sprees at the Chanel store. The Louboutin heels and Cuban chains and diamond necklaces with his initial on the pendant. Definitely from the way he would fuck her roughly on top of a bed full of money, a la Wolf of Wallstreet.

"You got it all nice and measured out?" Eren finally speaks, walking up to you. It takes you out of your concentration, your eyes on the tiny numbers on the beams of the scale. You look up at him, eyes now full of hearts. Ohhh how good he looked in that Versace silk button up. The way the collar drooped, showing just the right amount of chest.

"Uh huh. The perfect kilo. Not a gram more, not a gram less," you smile at the porcelain-colored mountain, honestly proud of yourself. It had taken you a while to get to this level of precision.

Eren puts a hand under your chin, "That's my good girl." His fingers caress the underside of your jawline. You give him a dimply smile in return, beaming from the praise. The intoxicating weight of his approval was almost heavier than the kilo in front of you. Eren’s gaze burns into you, his green eyes tracing the shape of your plump lips and then shifting downward to the work you’d just completed.

With a glint in his eye, he tilts your chin up just a little more, the pad of his thumb brushing slowly over your bottom lip. "Look at you, all grown up," he murmurs, his voice low and honey-thick, that rough edge of pride lacing every word. You held your breath, pulse quickening under his touch. “Think you can handle the next batch on your own?” he teases, fingers drifting to your cheek, then back to the hard line of your jaw. “Or will you still need me to keep an eye on you?”

You swallowed, hardly managing to hold back a mischievous grin. “Maybe I’d like it better with you here,” you reply, running your hand slowly down the smooth fabric of his shirt, feeling the warmth of his chest through the silk. He just looked too yummy to keep your hands to yourself. Eren’s lips quirked at your touch, his hand settling on the small of your back as he leans in close, his breath hot against your skin.

“You know I’ll always be here to make sure my girl gets it just right,” he hums, his voice sending a thrill down your spine as he presses his mouth softly against your neck, tasting the heat of your skin. The air between you was thick, charged, the slightest pressure away from setting things ablaze.

As his fingers trace down your back, your mind hazily drifts to what this life had turned you into—a girl who could measure out yayo with the same precision Eren used when he unraveled you, his skillful hands claiming you with a possessiveness only his world could breed. A world that made him greedy and a little bit selfish. He pulls back just enough to look you in the eyes, a mischievous smirk on his face as he sizes you up. There was an intensity there, a look that spoke volumes—a dangerous combination of trust, desire, and something else that was just… Eren. It made your knees weak.

“Why don’t you wrap it up for me, then?” he asks, nodding toward the carefully measured pile of powder on the scale pan. “Let’s see if you’ve mastered that part too.”

You took a steadying breath, giving him a smirk of your own. He liked to test you, liked to push you to see how far you could go in his world—and you loved every second of it. The thrill, the risk, and knowing you had Eren’s undivided attention was addictive. Carefully, you start the process of wrapping the package, feeling the weight of his gaze follow your every move. Taking a card, some random fake ID, you start to sift the snow into the cocaine mold, already having prepped it by placing the cellophane wrap inside.

Once all 2.2 pounds are inside the metal casing, you use the press, placing both hands on top to make sure it's packed in tight. Eren can't help but salivate at the way your tits press together in the process, almost popping out of that flimsy tank top. As delicate as you possibly can, you lift the edges of the cellophane out of the press, placing the newly formed rectangle on the table gingerly.

With a tender touch you wrap the excess cellophane around the shape before sealing it off with tan packing tape. Once you know it's nice and sealed up you grab thicker kitchen wrap, encasing the now sturdy block in multiple layers of the plastic vinyl.

Finally finished, you hold up the neatly wrapped brick, meeting his gaze with a look of confidence. “Perfect, just like you wanted.”

He took the package from your hands, inspecting it with a slow, approving nod. "Not bad," he says, though his eyes held a sparkle that told you he was more than satisfied. "I taught you well, baby."

Without warning, he leans in and snakes an arm behind your lower back. Pulling you close, pressing you against the edge of the grand table. The kilo is softly tossed to the side, now being forgotten in lieu of Eren's choice of drug, his baby girl. His lips capture yours, hard and hungry, as if he’d been waiting for this moment all day. The taste of him was intoxicating—sharp and sweet, like the Russian Cream Backwood he had smoked earlier. The excess nicotine in his mouth now numbing your lips. Your breaths became heavy and full of him; a mix of cologne and smoke, of the kind of danger and excitement that no amount of money could buy.

Your fingers found their way into his hair as he kissed you deeper, his rough hands roaming over your body like he couldn’t get enough. The heat of his touch made you feel lightheaded, your mind hazy and focused solely on him. Although your mind was always focused on him ever since he had entered your life.

"You’ve earned a little reward," he mumbles against your lips, one hand slipping down to your thigh, sliding slowly, deliberately up your skirt. The coldness of his gold Palma chain bracelet sending shivers through your body. In contrast his breath was hot against your skin, and you could feel his grin as he left a trail of sloppy, lust filled kisses down your neck. "What do you say?"

Your heart raced, and you didn’t need to answer—he already knew. You were his, completely and utterly, caught in his web of desire, danger, and dark thrills that always kept you coming back for more. Simply put you were definitely addicted to Eren Yeager.

Eren’s fingers trace up your thigh, slow and teasing, pushing the hem of your skirt higher as he presses you harder against the edge of the table. You could feel your pulse racing under his touch, his lips trailing along your exposed collarbone with a heated urgency that made you melt. Every nerve in your body was alive, aware of every brush of his skin against yours, every inhale and exhale of his breath as he claimed you.

“Look at you,” he mutters, his voice low, almost reverent. Thumb skimming the inside of your thigh, making your breath hitch. “You’ve come so far, my pretty girl. From dime bags to kilos, and now…” He leans in, his lips brushing your ear. “Now, you’re exactly where you belong.”

Eren's words sends shocks through you, a sense of pride mixed with something deeper, something raw. There was a part of you that had always wanted this—wanted to feel useful in his world, trusted and treasured by him in a way that no one else could understand. With Eren, you weren’t just someone to spoil or protect anymore. You were his partner, his equal, his mutual addiction.

Lust drunk, he lifts you onto the table, hands firm on your waist as he positions you exactly how he wants, his hungry gaze never leaving yours. Eren doesn’t say anything as he spreads your legs, fingers tracing over the soft lacy fabric between them, making you tingle. Looking down at you, cheekbones and jawline sharp, he puts you in a fawn-like state. You hold his gaze, heart thumping as he leans in, his mouth hot against yours.

“Tell me you want this,” he whispers, his voice sweet and heavy like molasses. Rough fingers slip beneath your now dampened panties, finding you warm and wanting, and you can no longer hold back the soft moan that escapes your lips. Slowly he starts to rub your pearl, causing more heat to pool to your sensitive area.

“I want this,” you manage to say between moans, your words melting into a whimper as his fingers move against you, slow and skilled. “I want you, Eren.” Your eyes are glossed over with desire, bottom lip pouting as your body begs for more.

He gave a low, satisfied chuckle, eyes darkening as he watches your reactions, drinking in every tremor, every shaky sigh. “Good,” he says, his voice carnal. “Because I want all of you, every last piece.” With that he presses closer, his touch growing bolder, his kisses deeper and more demanding. A slender finger now makes its way into you, pressing into your spongy walls, collecting all the slickness that was dripping from your entrance. You wrap your arms around him, pulling him closer, losing yourself in the feeling of his body against yours.

As Eren adds another finger you start to unbutton his silk shirt. Fervent yet careful as to not pop one off. You would be in for it if you were to ruin his brand new fifteen-hundred-dollar shirt. Eyelids heavy with longing, you look up at him through your thick lashes. Eren is a sight to behold, bottom lip tucked tightly in between his pearly white teeth, brows etched together in prurience. He looks absolutely gorgeous, body defined and toned, muscles flexing with every movement he makes. Eren's fingers move at a moderate pace with stern pressure. Just enough to get your juices flowing, but not enough to make you any closer to cumming.

"Faster baby," you whine out as your hips grind against his digits. Eren smirks, looking down at you as you try to fuck yourself on his fingers. Listening to your pleas, he picks up the pace. You hum out as he does so, muttering out a quick 'thank you' under your breath. Looking down at the lewd sight, you notice he was only going one knuckle deep, was he really holding out on you? So much for a reward. "Deeper, Ren." Another whine leaves your throat.

"You're such a needy princess, aren't you?" Eren does as you wish, pushing his fingers in as deep as he can. Adding his thumb to your clit makes your eyes flutter, a wave of stimulus making your legs twitch. Loving the reaction your body gives him, he decides to add a third finger, all three digits now swirling from the bottom of your chasm to curl up into the top of your mound. It sounds nasty, the squelches coming from your cunt as he toys with it.

"You made me like this," you manage to say, your lips staying parted as you watch him add that third finger. The way it starts to spread you, stretch you out with that soft sting. The way those three fingers glisten with your slickness as he pumps them in and out of you. Eren thinks your pink lips look so pretty parted like that, they'd probably look better if they were put to work. Taking advantage of your attention being elsewhere, he takes his other hand, placing it under your chin as his thumb slips between your plump lips with ease. Your big doe eyes look up at him and he gets even harder as you look at him with that needy, (not so) innocent looking face. You moan around his thumb, almost wanting to bite it if you weren't lulling in and out of a pleasure induced daze.

"I did huh, made you so needy and spoiled," he grunts, adding force to his fingering to emphasize his words. Each forceful pump making you mewl, back arching. Eren loves watching you come undone beneath him, your legs jerking just from his fingers. The way your brows knit in pleasure, eyes rolling back as your breaths are light and quick. It's a beautiful sight, one that he never gets tired of. "Anything else my needy girl needs? Hm?" He asks as he takes his thumb out of your mouth, the cute little 'pop' it makes causing him to smile.

You nod fervently, "Need your dick inside me." You yank him by his Medusa belt buckle, pulling him closer as you try to undo it. Maybe it was the way you were trying with such rushed neediness, but it seemed impossible, with you cursing at the overcomplicated belt. Eren lets out a low chuckle as he pulls his fingers out of you, causing you to snap out of your thirsty tunnel vision. Fuck, you looked so cute looking up at him with that confused look on your face.

"Impatient, are we princess?" Shaking his head, he leans down and places a kiss to your temple. Instead of watching you fumble with his belt, he starts to do it himself, still chuckling at how insistent you were in your failed attempts.

"Jus' need you so bad," you respond, watching him undo the belt with ease. He tugs it out of his belt loops, half thinking about using it to restrain you or whoop you, but he remembers how good of a girl you have been, how he needs to reward you. His jeans drop to the floor with his boxers following suit. Your eyes don't leave the delicious sight of his V-line and happy trail as you hurriedly yank your panties off and toss them to the side.

"You're such a needy little thing, princess. You want my cock that badly, huh?" Eren playfully tilts his head as he gathers the precum leaking out of his tip, starting to pump himself as he watches you spread your legs instinctively. All you could do is give him a whiny 'uh huh' as you tug at his unbuttoned shirt, lust making your brain foggy. He laughs inwardly at your response, enjoying how easily you turn ditzy when you were sex hungry.

"Look at you, baby. So desperate for me. You're gonna look so pretty when I split you open right now," Dropping his shirt off his shoulders, Eren's hands move to your thighs, gripping them as he forces your legs open even more. He does a little double tap with the head of his dick, the heavy pats on your clit making you whine even more. He just had to tease you huh? Before you could say anything bratty, he pushes himself inside, a quick little push that forces a squeak of a moan out of you.

Eren pauses for just a moment, reveling in the way you felt around him, and you watched the flash of satisfaction in his eyes as he sank deeper, inch by agonizing inch. Your walls clenched around him, drawing him in, and his grip on your thighs tightened, nails grazing your skin. He loved seeing you like this—overwhelmed, consumed, all because of him.

“You feel that baby?” his voice is horse, dripping with satisfaction as he thrust into you slowly, relishing each whimper that leaves your lips. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” One of his hands cradles the back of your head, holding you up as you give into the pleasure. All you could manage was a nod, biting down on your lip as his rhythm began to build. The table beneath you creaked as he rocked you against it, each push and pull stoking the fire between you, making you shiver with every heartbeat.

“Tell me, princess,” he whispers into your ear, his voice dropping to a low, husky tone that made your insides flutter. “Tell me who you belong to.” His thrusts grew deeper, each one filling you completely, fingers digging into your hips, anchoring you to him.

“You, Ren,” you moan out, head tilting back as he sensually rams inside of you. “I belong to you.” Your brain is reciting romantic sonnets, love letters to the man that simply translate into airy moans. But hey, they would both be music to his ears.

The possessive gleam in his eyes only grows, and he holds you tighter, moving faster now, every motion a reminder of the hold he has over you, of the way he had shaped you into the woman you were now. And with every thrust, every whispered word, you found yourself surrendering even more, letting yourself fall further into the passion and darkness that only Eren could bring out in you.

Rough hands meet your chest, palming you through your thin tank top and bra. "Y'know, your tits looked fuckin' amazing as you were pressing that brick. All squeezed together and shit." Pulling the stretchy material of the tank top down, Eren removes your bra straps from your shoulders, letting the bra fall and rest around your waist as he grabs handfuls of your tits. Thumbs prod at your nipples, flicking at them like little joysticks as he jiggles the flesh and toys with them. He pushes them together, imitating how they looked when they were clamped between your arms.

"Yeah? it looked good daddy?" You purr under a lustfully lidded gaze, your soft hands making their way on top of his as he fondled your boobs. He groans, feeling your body arch up to meet him, and a wicked grin spreads across his face as he dips down, claiming your lips in a kiss that stole every last bit of breath you had left. In that moment, nothing else mattered—just the heat of his body against yours, the intoxicating rush of his touch, and the knowledge that you were exactly where you belonged.

Eren can't help but be proud of how much you grew. Of who you grew into. When he first met you, you were just a sweet college girl trying to make ends meet by being a bottle girl. A little too naive and trusting, but he loved that about you. He still does. Now you were more mature, much wiser. Having learned so much from him, which made you forever grateful and dedicated to him. If he wasn't balls deep inside of you, he would shed some tears.

"I fucking love you baby," guttural grunts leave his throat as he pulls you flush against his sweaty chest, hands tangled in your hair as he planted breathy kisses to the top of your head. Your arms wrap around him, palms flat against his shoulder blades.

"I love you too, daddy. More than you know," your voice was soft, trying to keep from screaming in this almost love making moment. His length was getting to you, starting to see stars as he hit deep up inside you, tip touching your cervix. "I'm close, Ren." In that moment, nothing else mattered—the stacks of cash, the drugs and contraband, the danger that came with his world. All that existed was Eren, his touch, his voice, the way he made you feel like you were the only thing that mattered. Your face is buried in his chest, leaving open kisses as 'thank you's' for fucking you so good. Your nails leave light scratches on his back, slightly stinging him but Eren loved the pain.

Eren’s hold on you tightens, his pace unrelenting as he buries himself deeper, each thrust bringing you closer to the edge. Hearing you say those words, feeling your body responding to his with such devotion, drove him wild. His hands start to roam your back, his fingers pressing into your skin as if trying to memorize every inch of you, and he couldn’t help but lean down, whispering against your ear with a husky breath, “Then let go for me, baby. I’ve got you.”

His movements grew more intense, the friction almost unbearable as he watched you unravel beneath him, every inch of you trembling in his arms. Eren leans back just enough to capture your gaze, his eyes locked on yours, full of passion and pure love. “Come on, beautiful,” he coaxes, his voice like velvet, the warmth of his breath brushing over your skin. “I want to feel every bit of it.”

Your body finally surrenders, waves of pleasure crashing over you as you cling to him, crying out his name. Eren watches with satisfaction, feeling your walls tighten and pulse around him, pulling him even deeper. Upon thrusting out, he sees your cream painted on his shaft, more of your slickness dripping and puddling on the table. Cracked moans escape your glossy lips, strands of hair covering your face. In this moment—and every moment really—you were his muse. All Eren can do is look at you in awe, how perfect you looked all fucked out. Makes him want to fuck you even harder. Which he does, grip on you tight as he forcefully slams into your cunt. You can't help but scream at the overstimulation, the way he starts to pound into your cervix. Acrylic nails scrape his biceps, your legs are shaking as they wrap around him. The intensity of it all took his breath away, and with a final thrust, he loses himself in you, his body giving in as he harshly whispers your name like a prayer. The room goes still, your hearts pounding in sync, and as he held you close, Eren felt a deep, raw connection with you—a feeling he knew he’d never have with anyone else.

When he finally pulls back, his breathing heavy, he looks at you with a smile, thumb tracing over your flushed cheek. “My girl,” he whispers, words filled with a possessive pride that makes your heart race. “You did so well. You always do so good for me, baby.” A kiss is placed atop your head as he brushes his fingers through your sex tangled hair.

You're leaning on his chest still, catching your breath, still wrapped in the lingering warmth of his touch. Eren’s fingers trace lazy circles over your skin, his demeanor softening in a way he rarely showed to anyone but you. There was a comfort here, in this silence between the two of you, something almost domestic in the way he held you, thumb brushing tenderly over your arm as he hums a familiar tune you can't quite put your finger on at the moment, brain still fuzzy.

But the moment was fleeting. You knew that with Eren, there was always something else lurking beneath the surface, a restlessness that could never quite be satisfied, a thrill he always chased. And now, the look in his eyes shifted, a spark flickering as he reached for the package you'd so carefully prepared.

“You know,” he began, holding up the kilo, “it’s my last drop of the night.” His lips curled into that mischievous smirk you knew too well. “Want to come with me?”

You perk up, "Really? You actually want me to go with you to drop off?" Eren had never asked you to accompany him when delivering product. Always kept you behind the scenes. Always wanted to keep you safe. The thought of it sent a shiver of excitement through you—a chance to step fully into his world, side-by-side, as more than just his girl waiting for him at home.

"Uh huh, so you coming, or what?" He starts to get dressed, grabbing his boxers and jeans that are pooled on the floor and lifting them up. Body still sweaty and now coated in sex fluids, he feels a little less than clean. But business has to be handled before he can finally relax, right? Once he gets back home, he plans to take a long, drawn-out bubble bath with you nested between his legs anyway.

"Course I'll go," hopping off the table, you place your panties back on, core still soaked with both yours and Eren's arousal. Shaky fingers lift your bra straps back in place along with your tank top.

"Good." Eren's already dressed, your oversized fur coat in his hands, ready to place it on you. Giving him a cute little curtsy, you oblige and turn around, slipping your arms into the weighted sleeves. He grabs his jacket from the back of a chair and tosses it over his shoulder, slinging an arm around your waist as you followed him out of the stash house, heels clicking softly against the concrete. Eren’s car was parked just outside, sleek and dark, a perfect reflection of him. Of course he opens the car door for you, the gentleman he very much is, his hand out for balance even though you really didn't need it.

Eren slides into the driver’s seat beside you, his hand immediately finding yours after he starts the engine, casting you a playful smirk while reversing out of the driveway. “It’s about time you saw what your man’s really up to,” he teases, his grip on your hand firm and reassuring, placing a kiss on your knuckles. The notion has you melting, biting your lip as you looked at Eren with such puppy love. Of course he notices your enamored expression, making him smug, giving you a wink before his gaze returns to the road, his jaw clenched with that familiar intensity you’d come to love, the kind that made him magnetic, impossible to resist. It took everything in you not to lean over that center console, shower him and kisses and maybe even suck him off. But that could all wait until after the black duffle bag full of cocaine bricks was out of the backseat.

As he drove, you felt the thrill of the unknown rising in your chest, a mix of anticipation and excitement settling in your stomach. The city lights stream by, casting flashes of color across Eren’s face, highlighting the sharpness of his cheekbones, the glint of determination in his eyes. With him, everything felt like an adventure. It was his world, and tonight, he was letting you in.

Eren kept his hand on yours, fingers intertwined, thumb brushing softly over your knuckles in contrast to the hard edge of his persona behind the wheel. The gesture made you feel secure, as if he were grounding you, silently reassuring you that no matter what, he’d protect you.

It wasn’t long before he pulled into a secluded spot by the docks, where the only sounds were the distant crashing of waves and the occasional creak of metal. The car pulls behind a nondescript building by the water, lights dimmed, giving off an eerie feeling. Cutting the engine, Eren turns to you, “Stay close to me, alright?” His voice is serious now, the usual playfulness fading as he shifted into the role he wore so well—the Eren that commanded a room with just a look, the one people feared and respected in equal measure. But he softens slightly as his eyes meet yours. “Trust me?”

You smile, leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. “Always.” Eren’s smile grew, a glint of pride in his eyes, as if he knew you were ready for this, that you could handle it. And in that moment, you knew, too. Stepping out of the car, he opens the back door to grab that packed black duffle bag that was going to turn into an enormous amount of cash. Hoisting it over his shoulder, Eren then goes around the car and opens your door as he always does, holding out a hand for you to step out. As you finally step out Eren can't help but cup your cheeks in his hands, thumbs skimming over your cheeks as he looks at you with a look you couldn't even describe. A bit of pride, a bit of nervousness, all love.

Leading you to the back of the building, right near the edge of the black looking water of the docks, you could hear the faint hum of the city in the distance, but here, it was quiet, almost unnaturally so. The night air was sharp and cold against your skin, and Eren’s hand in yours felt grounding, warm, steady.

He glances at you, a glint of excitement in his eyes as he led you to a side door, knocking three times in a rhythmic pattern. You’d heard Eren talk about his drops before, knew there was always an order to it—a certain number of knocks, a password, a specific point of contact. But you’d never seen it up close. Now, as you watched him in his element, the man you loved was almost unrecognizable. Gone was the softness he showed you, replaced by a cold confidence, a sense of purpose that made him seem larger than life.

The door creaks open, and a man with a buzzed head and tattoos creeping up his neck appears in the doorway, giving Eren a respectful nod. “Yo, Yeager,” he greets him gruffly, eyes briefly flicking to you, curious but expressionless. Eren nods back, mumbling a brief 'w'sup' as he pulls you close, arm wrapping securely around your waist as he led you into the building.

The hallway was dim, narrow, with walls that looked like they hadn’t seen a fresh coat of paint in decades. The air smelled faintly of cigarettes and some type of cleaning chemicals, and you felt little butterflies in your stomach, the thrill of stepping into Eren’s world fully, of seeing firsthand what he did when he wasn’t with you. You walked in sync, your heels clicking softly against the worn linoleum floor as the man led you down the corridor and up a flight of stairs.

Once you reached the top, you enter a room that was just as worn and dull as the hallway below. A battered leather couch sat against one wall, facing a scratched coffee table cluttered with empty beer bottles, playing cards, and loose cash. On a makeshift setup sat a small tv, one of those small 2010's plasma tv's, some public access cable playing on it as no one watched. A few men were scattered around the room, some leaning against the walls playing dice, others sitting on the couch, each one looking up as you and Eren entered. Their gazes were appraising, curious. But there was a silent understanding between them and Eren—a respect that was unspoken but clear. Eren wasn’t just another face to these people. He was something more.

With a subtle nod, Eren acknowledged the room. Even in this rough environment, he commanded respect with a quiet authority, an edge to him that everyone just seemed to feel. They offered him gestures, some lifting chins in greeting, others murmuring a quick “What's good, Eren,” before returning to their game. But when their eyes landed on you, it was as though a wave of curiosity washed over the room. Eren kept you close, his hand firm on your waist, making it clear you weren’t just some girl he’d brought along. You were his, and in this world, that meant something.

“Yeager, man,” one of the men on the couch breaks the silent tension, his eyes flicking to you briefly, a small smirk playing on his lips. “Didn’t know you’d be bringing company.”

Eren didn’t bother to respond directly. Instead, just giving the man a nod, his hand still resting protectively on your waist. “Let’s just get down to business,” he said, voice calm but authoritative. He pulled you along with a confident ease, guiding you over to a workbench that definitely looks out of place. He lets go of you just long enough to set the duffle bag down as the men gather around the table, eyes fixed on the bundle. The man with the buzzed head, the one who’d opened the door, gestures for Eren to unzip it, and you watch as the two exchange a quick, wordless understanding. The bag comes open, exposing its contents—wrapped kilos of powder neatly lined up inside, stacked with almost clinical precision. There was a surreal quality to it, the weight of the moment settling as you saw firsthand the pieces of Eren’s world.

Another one of them—a wiry guy with boxcar scars and a slacked jaw—pulls out a small pocketknife and slices through the layers of plastic wrap, peeling back each layer to reveal the pristine white powder within. You watch, transfixed, as they inspect it, measuring it out with a scale, nodding in approval.

“Looks good. Quality work, as usual,” Buzzcut says, his gaze shifting to you with a curious glint. “Wasn't aware you had someone helping you out, Yeager.”

Eren’s hand wraps around your shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze as he spoke, his tone low and assertive, carrying an edge. “She’s my girl. And she’s just as good as I am.”

The words made you stand a little taller, pride swelling in your chest as you felt the weight of his approval. It was a rare thing for Eren to show off any part of this life to others, especially when it came to you. To even let his two separate worlds collide. But here, he was doing exactly that—claiming you, letting the room know that you were someone they could trust. It was exhilarating, a glimpse into a side of him that was usually kept hidden.

The man with the scars gave you a nod, his smirk softening slightly as he purses his lips. “Well, if she’s good enough for you, Yeager, then she’s good enough for us.” Buzzcut gives an agreeing nod, before signaling to one of the others to count out stacks of cash. Eren accepts the money with practiced ease, slipping the large manila envelope into his jacket pocket before handing off the duffle. It was smooth, efficient, like a transaction he’d done countless times before, yet there was something different this time, a new layer as he glances at you and sees the awe in your eyes.

The deal wraps up quickly, Eren’s hand never leaving yours as he led you back out, giving brief nods to the men as they exchanged quick, quiet goodbyes. When you reach the hallway, he pauses, turning to look at you, his eyes softening as the door clicked shut behind you.

“That wasn’t too much, was it?” he asked, his tone gentle, thumbs brushing over your knuckles in a soothing gesture.

You shake your head, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Not at all. I actually…kind of liked it,” you admit, your voice low but sincere. “I liked seeing you like this. Seeing what you do.”

Eren’s lips curve into a slow, proud smile, and he leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I wanted you to see it, to understand. You’re part of this now, too. Part of me.”

"I'm happy you trust me enough to let me even see this part of you," your manicured nails softly caressing his fingers as you look at him with gratitude.

"Course, princess. I trust you with my life. I love you," Eren wraps his arms around you, bringing you in his embrace. "Now let's go home and take a longggg bath. That room was hotboxed with cigarettes I feel like I reek." A smile forms on his lips, which rested on the top of your head. Eren turns you towards the dingy stairway, pressing one last kiss to the back of your head as he leads you out, his steps sure and calm, guiding you back down the dimly lit hallway.

As you walked back to the car, hand in hand, you realized something. Being with Eren wasn’t just about the thrill or the luxury or even the danger. It was about trust, a bond deeper than words, a connection that ran beneath everything else. And as you slipped into the car beside him, his fingers intertwining with yours, you knew you wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.

The car hums as Eren started it up, pulling back onto the road with that effortless ease he had, every move calculated, every glance a mixture of mischief and calm control. The night stretched out ahead of you, the neon glow of the city lights casting a warm hue over the two of you as you left the docks behind.

"How’d it feel?" he finally asks without nervousness, eyes flicking over to you with that lopsided smirk you adored. "Being in on the action for real?"

You took a deep breath, letting the excitement settle as you thought it over. "It felt... powerful," you divulge, squeezing his hand in return. "But honestly? I think I just liked being by your side."

Eren chuckles, his gaze softening in a way that made you feel like you were the only person who could break down his walls. “Good answer,” he says, lifting your hand to his lips and brushing a gentle kiss over your knuckles. “Means you’ve got your priorities straight.”

You melt at his words, heart gushing and legs squeezing together. "Yeah, got my priorities straight?" Watching his face, the way he's so nonchalant and smug, all you can do is bite your lip. God, why does he always have to look so delicious?

"Mmhmm, my lil 03' Bonnie," he teases as he kisses your hand again, eyes not leaving the road. You were back downtown, close to the apartment. Cars and pedestrians littered the streets still despite the lateness of the night.

"Okay Jay Z," you giggle, head shoving into his arm that's rested on the center console. The adrenaline high that you had received from earlier had now died down, feeling that soft mellowness that was familial to one of an after sex high. Just simple pure bliss and the feeling of amor.

Eren pulls up to the front of the apartment building, too tired and too ready to get you in that bubble bath that he uses the valet, something he only occasionally did. Handing the keys to the valet, Eren opens the passenger door, extending a hand for you to grab. You balance yourself, feet tired from wearing those damn YSL Debbie platform pumps. Eren's hand immediately finding the small of your back as he leads you into the lobby, the late-night desk attendant looking up with a considerate nod.

As you step into the elevator, you both lean against each other, exhaustion finally settling in now that the thrill of the evening had faded. Eren was ready to go back to being domestic and loving, he wanted to put aside the drugs and dealing for the rest of the night.

Inside the quiet of the apartment, Eren wraps you in his arms from behind, his warmth against your back as he leans down to press a kiss to the top of your head. “Come on, let’s get that bath going,” he murmurs, his voice a low, affectionate rumble.

You nod, leaning into him, savoring the feel of his strong arms around you. Together, you make your way to the bathroom, and he gets the water running, adding bubbles and checking the temperature as you sit on the edge, watching him with a smile. There was a certain sweetness to the way he moved for you, the way he could switch so effortlessly from dope dealer to lover.

When the bath is ready, Eren helps you undress, taking his time as his hands brush over your skin, his eyes darkening with tenderness as he admires you. You step into the warm water together, and as he wraps his arms around you, drawing you close in the foamy, fragrant warmth, you know without a doubt that you were exactly where you were meant to be—by his side, no matter where that led.

As he leans down, pressing a kiss to your shoulder and resting his head against yours, you feel a sense of peace settling over you. In all honesty you could fall asleep right then and there, with Eren massaging your black vanilla shampoo into your hair. With each gentle touch, you feel yourself melting into him, the steady beat of his heart against your back calming you in a way only he could.

Eren tilts his head, nuzzling into the curve of your neck before planting a tender kiss on your skin. “You know,” he murmurs, voice softened with affection, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt this lucky.” His words are a low whisper, meant just for you, and they carry a rawness that leaves you breathless.

Turning in his arms to face him, you find his gaze already fixed on you, eyes full of that rare vulnerability he only shows you. You reach up, cupping his cheek, your thumb brushing softly over his jawline as you smile. “I’m the lucky one, Eren. Just getting to be here, to be with you like this... I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

A smile tugs at his lips, that slight, crooked smile you adore, and he leans in, closing the distance between you in a slow, sweet kiss. It’s gentle, unhurried, as if he’s savoring every second, pouring all his unspoken feelings into it. His hand drifts up to cradle the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair as he deepens the kiss, his touch both tender and possessive.

When he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, and you feel his breath against your lips as he whispers, “I’ll keep you safe. No matter what.” His hand moves down to rest over your heart, feeling the steady beat beneath his palm as if grounding himself in the moment.

You wrap your arms around him, pulling him close, pressing a kiss to his temple as he relaxes into your embrace. The water sloshes softly around you as you both sink deeper into the warmth, sharing this quiet, intimate moment, content to just be in each other’s presence. The outside world fades away, leaving just the two of you, wrapped up in each other, savoring the quiet joy of being together.

Eren pulls you even closer, his hand moving slowly up and down your back as he speaks in a soft, almost bashful tone. “I can’t believe you put up with all this,” he says, a hint of wonder in his voice. “My life... it’s messy, but somehow, you’re always here, right by my side.” He kisses the top of your head, his lips lingering there as he takes a deep breath, as if absorbing the comfort of having you close.

You tilt your head up, catching his gaze with a reassuring smile. “You’re worth it, Eren. Every bit of it. Besides,” you add with a playful grin, “I kind of like the thrill.”

He chuckles softly, shaking his head as if in disbelief, his eyes shining with a tenderness that makes your heart swell. “Then I guess we’re both crazy,” his words are light and airy as he presses a soft kiss to your forehead. The two of you sink back into the water, wrapped in each other’s warmth, and for a moment, there’s no need for words. Just the comfort of his arms, the rhythm of his breathing, and the knowledge that no matter what lay ahead, you’d face it together.

After the cute intimate moments of washing each other's bodies, sticking Eren's hair up in a shampooed mohawk, and a little under the bubble action, Eren finally grabs two heated towels to wrap you up. He takes the time to dry you off, starting with your painted toes, all the way up to your drenched locks.

"All dry," his smile is pure as he ruffles your damp hair. Walking around with just a towel hung around his waist, he goes into the bedroom to get you pajamas. Of course it's one of his old tee shirts, this one a My Chemical Romance one he had since high school. "Arms up," he says as he places the oversized shirt over your head.

The simple domesticity that he could also bring, the soft tone he uses with you, all the little things he does like washing your hair and picking out your pj's, makes you feel swollen with amorous emotions. How could this be the same man that was selling coke to everybody in the city?

"You look so perfect, my pretty baby," he hums softly as he places a kiss on your forehead. Eren can't help but be so in love with you when you looked like this. Fresh out of the bath, bare faced and looking so small in his oversized shirt that reminded him of life before he became so involved in the drug trade. "I have one more thing for you, c'mere."

Shooting him a puzzled look, you follow him into the living room of the apartment. The living room dimly glowed from the tungsten lights, the city glittering from the windows. Sitting down on the velvet couch you watched as Eren shuffles around to search for something.

"Close your eyes princess," his voice is bright with excitement as he holds something behind his back. You do as your told, holding your hands over your face. More shuffles can be heard as he steps closer to you. "Okay, you can open."

"Eren," you gasp as he holds open a small black box that carries a delicate silver ring set with a dark emerald—the same green as his eyes, a color that had always reminded you of him. He takes your hand, slipping the ring onto your finger with a kind of quiet reverence.

“It’s not an engagement ring,” he says with a soft but steady voice. “Not yet, anyway.” He looks up, gaze meeting yours with a seriousness that makes your heart skip a beat. “But it’s a promise. A reminder that this is just the beginning for us. That I want it to be you by my side. Always.”

Your heart swells from his sentiments, and without thinking, you throw your arms around him, pulling him into a kiss filled with everything you felt—love, gratitude, the excitement of a future with him. Eren holds you close, with his hand resting on the small of your back, reminding you that no matter what, you were safe here with him.

As you pull back, both of you a little breathless, he brushes a strand of hair from your face, his eyes soft. “Ready for what’s next baby?”

With a smile, you nod, your fingers brushing over the ring, feeling its weight, its promise. “With you? Always.”

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈••┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈••┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈••┈••✦ ❤ ✦•

just a lilll rushed because omg I love this so muchhh. Idk I'm in love love loveee with everything about this.

#eren yeager #eren jaeger #eren yeager smut #eren jaeger smut #eren x reader #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #eren yeager x reader #plug!eren #plug!erenyeager #animamii #drug dealer eren #plug eren #eren yeager fic #eren jaeger fic #eren yeager au

52 notes · View notes

extra-v1rgin · 10 months ago

Text

Love languages - Rengoku, Tomioka, Uzui, Iguro, Shinobu, & Mitsuri

wanted to write something quick because my current projects won’t be done for awhile and I feel bad about not posting ;-; Also love languages aren’t real but shhhhh it’s ok

☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆

Rengoku:

Giving - Words of Affirmation

He’s not very smooth with words but as one might expect from Rengoku he is very enthusiastic. Mostly it’s simple things, saying “I love you!” or “You look so pretty!” If you ask him to elaborate he will but the man gets very flustered.

Receiving - Physical Touch

I think Rengoku likes very gentle touches. He’s “on” 99% of the time and has a lot of trouble relaxing but if you trace his face or run your fingers through his hair then he can melt into your touch. He likes recieving physical affection at any time but it’s most relaxing for him if you set aside time where he has to be quiet and doesn’t have anything weighing on his mind.

Tomioka:

Giving - Gifts

Giyuu doesn’t see himself as someone with very much worth so offering up himself in any way doesn’t feel like he’s actually giving you something (even if you insist otherwise). If he gives you physical items then it’s something concrete and seen as valuable by others too. They’re very heartfelt though. It’s not pointless trinkets it’s something you can use often.

Receiving - Quality Time

On the flipside Tomioka sees you as someone with a lot of value. He’s happy with physical touch or talking too but he’s not always good at deciphering what things might mean if you’re not direct. It’s not that he’s happier when you’re quiet but if things are quiet then he doesn’t have to work to figure anything out.

Uzui:

Giving - Acts of Service

Sort of a double-sided thing for Uzui. Mostly it’s out of love for you/his wives but he does enjoy the praise he gets for it as well. Part of the reason he likes getting the praise though is because he knows that means you appreciated it (And so on and so forth). It’s something about providing for his lovers that makes the man feel good.

Receiving - Gifts

Is that a surprise? He loves getting gifts. They gotta be big and flashy but other than that he doesn’t care about the price or if you just picked it up randomly. Not to say he doesn’t like heartfelt gifts, but just that he likes anything that made you think about him.

Iguro:

Giving - Gifts

Just like Tomioka he doesn’t see himself as someone of value, so again anything that comes from him looses value because of that. He’s much more meticulous than Giyuu though. Giyuu buys anything that makes him think of you whereas Obanai spends weeks looking at different shops for the perfect item. You mention your shoes are wearing out? He will buy you the most expensive most durable pair to ever be made and they will fit you absolutely perfectly.

Receiving - Gifts

Oddly enough he also enjoys getting gifts. It’s a sign that you were also thinking about him. But while he likes buying you things Iguro enjoys getting handmade or smaller scale things from you.

Shinobu:

Giving - Quality Time

Shinobu is a busy woman so she sometimes struggles to make time for her partner. At the same time trying to fill that gap with gifts or little notes doesn’t feel the same. She has to find time to probably sit down with you and cuddle or talk.

Receiving - Acts of Service

As mentioned she’s very busy, so if you do anything to help lighten her load then she feels a weight off her chest. Even if it’s something small like making the bed or cleaning her desk she feels so relieved. Depending on your skills you may help out with medical things too. These moments are especially nice for her because Shinobu also considers you helping her wrap bandages as quality time.

Mitsuri:

Giving - Physical Touch

No surprises here either. She loves squishing you, hugging you, cuddling. If she could pick you up and carry you forever she would. Even if you weren’t big on touch I think she’d be just as happy to curl up against your side barely touching you. She also enjoys doing your hair or having you do hers.

Receiving - Words of Affirmation

Mitsuri has become a lot more confident in herself but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like hearing kind words, especially in moments of weakness. She trusts you a lot so if you say she’s beautiful then Kanroji will very much believe you. Whether you’re complimenting her appearance or her cooking or her fighting skills she gets so excited. If something particilarly catches off guard then you should expect a lot more hugging alongside a dozen thank you’s.

#kny #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #rengoku #tomioka giyuu #tomioka #tomioka x reader #rengoku x reader #shinobu x reader #mitsuri x reader #iguro x reader #uzui x reader #tengen x reader #uzui tengen #uzui #mitsuri kanroji #obani iguro #shinobu kocho

217 notes · View notes

brains4brawn · 2 years ago

Text

Journalled

It was a small thing, tucked away in the corner of the thrift shop. Victor had pulled it out, but the book was locked and bound in gold and wouldn't open. His mind piqued, Victor bought the book and took it home. Over the next week He tried everything to undo the clasp but nothing worked. When he had just lost hope a tiny but audible Click could be heard, Victor rushed back to find the clasp undone and the bindings slightly ajar.

Victor carefully opened the ancient tome only to find that the pages were stuck. it was like they had been glued! Only the last page remained free. Written towards the top if fancy handwriting

"Write it down so i can enact Be-warned Though, What is written I can not retract!"

Under neath that was 5 evenly spaced lines. and another message at the bottom,

"I only remain open for this 1 day Until 5 complete Earth circle's will I open again"

Looking at the the 3 blank lines, And thinking this must be a joke he wrote

I will graduate from college

My older brother will never pick on me again

Over the next 20 years I will gain 150lbs

As Victor finished the book slammed shut and relocked itself. Scared Victor threw the book into his closet and ran down stairs.

That night his family recieved word that Victor's older brother was in a bad car crash. He was alive but in the ICU and had lost his legs. Certainly the taller brother would never pick on the shorter Victor again.

The crash had been the fault of the manufacturer so the family received and huge settlement. This money paid for Victor's choice of college.

Two years later, when Victor was home from college for the summer and his mother commented that he was finally starting to get bigger.

The 20 Year old checked the scale and sure enough he weighed 140, 15lbs heaver then when he was 18. Victor knew it had to be the book.

Victor: 22, 155lbs

The College graduate was now 23 and moving all of his stuff from his half of the bedroom to his first apartment when he stumbled across the book. Looking at the date on the wall Victor realized it was exactly 5 years since he had last seen the cursed object. As if it had a mind of its own the book opened to the last page, now with three new empty lines waiting to be filled.

Victor hesitated, he had imagined for the last 5 years what he'd do if he had this chance again. He could fix everything!

My older brother James develops a prosthesis so he can walk and run again.

My younger sisters will grow into smart talented women who will want for nothing.

Looking at his tiny 15 year old brother Bastion asleep on the bed Victor writes:

Bastion will grow up to be the popular jock just like his older brother.

Satisfied, the book shuts itself and prepares to grant Victor's wish.

Victor 24, 170lbs

For the most part the Wishes went like Victor planned. Well except for Bastion's. In the proceeding months after writing those words Victor found himself becoming more popular and Jock-like. Words like Bro or Bruh, dude, man, had taken over. He joined a gym and from there joined some local sports teams. When he wasn't busy at work or working out Victor could be found screwing every chick he could find. No girl was immune to his baby faced charms and his Gym sculpted body.

Victor 26 185lbs

Victor 28 200lbs

Victor practically lives in the Gym now. His gains speak for themselves his body is a temple and he loves for chicks to worship him. His younger sisters call him a man whore, while Bastion is turning out just like him.

His girlfriend of 6 months broke up with him cause she caught him in bed with her mother.

Looking in his closet he stumbles over the Book, open and waiting for him to write something down.

In his jealousy of those gay guys who can sleep with anyone he wrote:

I'm like 100% gay, no chicks only dicks.

I wont get any STD's from sex.

Sex with me will change anyone's life.

Again the book closes and gets to work.

Victor 30, 215lbs

Vic the dick had been out for 2 years now, the book took the man whore and turned him into a man slut. Everyone wanted a piece of him and at least Vic was smart enough to charge them for his services. Every option on the table is open he'd do any guy and make them feel like his number1. Every guy he slept with changed, most upped their stamina but some hunked out into gay sluts just like Vic.

Hell even Bastion had come out and if the rumors are true he's slept with every guy at his college.

Vic 32 230lbs

Vic was becoming something of a local celebrity in the gay community. His looks had caught the eye of a movie producer and now he was staring in low budget action movies as the gay savior. He had been so busy that he wasn't home for his 33rd birthday. Some how the book found him on location in the bottom of his travel bag.

Vic watched as it opened up to the last page with 3 empty spaces.

He took his time and pondered over what he should write.

I want to find true love

I want to be content

I want to be smart again

The book seemed to close with a sigh. None of these were worth the trouble of granting. But a deal is a deal.

Vic 34, 245lbs

Vic, 38, 275lbs

Finally after 20 years, Vic had stopped growing. Life had settled down for the Gay icon, nowadays, he owned a successful chain of LGBTQIA Gyms that catered towards the community needs. He organized Pride events and helped with protests when needed. He looked at the open book on his desk. It was tempting but Vic no longer wanted to change anything about his life. Even though he had never found a lifelong partner.

He decided he had held on to the magic for to long, so he summoned his newest intern Jack and gave the book to him then let him leave so he could explore this newest acquisition.

*bright flash of Light*

The intercom beeps and Vic pushes the button.

"Sir your husband just arrived to collect you. He wants to remind you that you still have to pick up the kids and get changed for tonights ceremony"

Before he could even answer the door burst open and Vic's husband of 7 years strolled in. Vic was already out of his chair and giving Jack a pec on the cheek while grabbing his toned ass.

On his way out Vic glanced at the family photo on his desk and gave a silent thanks to the book.

#age progression #reality change #male transformation #male muscle growth #tf #nerdtojock #personality change #straight to gay

424 notes · View notes

bloodgutsandangeltears · 12 days ago

Text

First tips of an Anorexia Tips thingy (most of it is just me yapping)

Rules:

- No junk food unless I can eat it responsibly

- A snack can’t be over 100 calories

- Any fast under 16h doesn’t count

- Have to fast at least 2 days a week

- Never weigh yourself after a binge

- Weight yourself every Monday (to prevent weekend binges)

- Don’t eat after 6:30pm

- No snacks

- Always eat less than those around you

- Never finish all your food

- Drink a bottle of water before eating

- Never drink calories

- Never eat something without knowing the calories

- Always burn more calories than you consume

- NEVER BREAK A GOOD STREAK BY SAYING “only today” ITS NEVER ONE DAY ITS A WEEK OR A MONTH AND THE SCALE ONLY GOES UP.

- Every 100 cals = 1 new cut

- To actually be at your gw you have to hit that make fully clothed ;)

How to hide that ur not eating (enough or at all):

- take wrappers from the trash or previous times you've eaten and stash them somewhere in your room, throw them out where someone will see them when they start to become suspicious you aren't eating, it'll look like you've ate when they weren't around.

- Ask to eat in your room every meal, throw the food out there, flush it down the toilet, hide it, do whatever you need to do.

- say you ate earlier (at school, before you came home, etc

- leave empty containers/wrapper everywhere (shows you're snacking)

- leave "dirty" dishes in the sink (spread some food on the dishes then put them in the sink)

- avoid meals by making up random excuses (there's so many)

- make "plans" to go eat with friends, go for a walk or something then come back saying you already at with friends

- make your own meals and if people ask why just tell them you have allergies or are just super picky (my mom thinks i'm the pickiest eater ever lmao)

- when eating, there's a whole lot of methods to make it seem like you're eating more than you are so here's a couple:

- cut food into really tiny bits so it makes you seem like you're eating way more than you are

- keep the conversation going to stop people from looking at what you're eating

- ask for more servings (don't actually have more servings just ask for them

- ask if you can try something off someone else's plate

- you can have a napkin on your lap and "accidentally* drop food

- When ur counting chips/some other individual food so you don’t take more than you counted the calories for, u can use the excuse that you only like a certain size/shape of them so it won’t look weird when ur counting/sorting

- wrap food in a pad n throw it out in ur bathroom trash

Terms:

Calorie limit - the amount of calories someone allows themselves to consume in a day

Binge - eating an excessive amount of calories

Cals - short form for calories

ED - short for Eating Disorder

Ana - short for anorexia

UGW - ultimate goal weight

UG - goal weight

SW - starting weight

CW - current weight

Reasons not to eat/ things centered around eating:

- every taste adds to the waist

- Eating junky makes you chunky

- A moment on the lips forever on the hips

- Unhealthy food isn’t a reward, it’s a punishment

- Eat wise drop a size

- Suck it up so you don’t have to suck it in

- What you eat in private you wear in public

- Eat to fuel your body, not to feed your emotions

- Whatever the problem is, food work fix it

- It’s better to resist than it is to regret

- You already know how it tastes

- Once you see results it becomes an addiction

- Fat lasts longer than flavor

- Imagine the guilt

- Follow your plan, not your moods

- Need motivation to keep restricting/fasting? Eat in front of the mirror. Naked.

- Junk food you craved for an hour or the body you’re craved for a lifetime?

- You can’t control everything in your life but you can control what you eat.

- Your body doesn’t know it’s the weekend

- So nobody thinks of you as the fat friend

- I promise you NOBODY wants to see you eat

- When you go shopping you’ll have to get the smallest size

- You’ll look SO much better in all ur clothes

- People will whisper about how skinny u are

- You’ll feel clean after starving

- You’ll instantly be more attractive

- Starve for the brusies, the stares, the mirror, the relief, starve to be envied.

- Greasy fries or skinny thighs?

- You won’t care tomorrow how hungry you were today

- eat small to stay small

- Because the food at the event lasts for a moment but the pictures are forever.

Workout/Weightloss motivation:

- An hour workout is 4 percent of ur day, u have no excuses

- Workout to sit down and have a flat stomach

- If you can find the time to eat you can find the time to exercise

- Discipline is doing it no matter what your emotional state is

- You can either feel sorry tomorrow, or you can feel sore, your choice.

- Stay dedicated, it doesn’t happen overnight.

- If you’re tired or starting over stop giving up

- Wake up with determination, go to bed with satisfaction.

- The best feeling is when you didn’t want to workout but did anyway

- Your body isn’t giving out, your head is giving up

- Don’t complain about your weight if you aren’t doing anything about it

- The moment you want to quit is the moment you need to keep going

- You will never regret a workout

- You won’t always love the workout, but you’ll always love the results.

- Don’t wish for a good body, work for it.

- Today is yesterday’s tomorrow.

- If it doesn’t challenge you it doesn’t change you.

- Working out sucks but having a muffin top sucks more.

- So you can move your belt over one notch

- To go whole days without thinking about your weight

- Don’t be upset with the results you didn’t get with the work you didn’t do.

- Do it so you won’t have to look at someone’s body with envy ever again.

- Just get it done.

- So you can eat more calories without gaining

Instead of binging do these things:

Look at old progress photos

Have gum

Drink water

Brush ur teeth

Distract urself

Exercise

Eat smth to satisfy ur craving but not a lot

Scroll through tumblr or other social media

Clean your room

Notes/Tips to prevent binging:

- Brush ur teeth right after any meals so any cravings for more food go away.

- It’s better to eat a small amount of sugar/calories than have a full binge day.

- Follow the plan above ^

General tips: (?)

- It’s better to be walking around while on ur phone then laying down (if u need to get ur stand hours/steps in.)

- There’s exercises you can do in bed, you have no excuses.

- Get rid of all temptations/ write notes near temptations (food) to get rid of any thoughts of binging

- ROMANTICIZE UR DISORDER. <3

- Create a list of why you do this, why do you restrict, why do you exercise, is it for you? Do you do it for someone else?

- Move all the time, tap ur foot, fidget, walk around, just move.

- Sucking and chewing on ice cubes can trick your body into feeling more full.

- Cold baths/showers speed up metabolism

- Connect foods with body parts (pizza = thighs, ice cream & cookies = stomach, meat = face, etc)

- Do something fun to burn cals if you don’t like working out (swim, dance, etc)

- Make your ED your life, the reason you exist.

- Hit the lower part of your stomach to make it stop growling

- Don’t eat in secret, it leads to binging

- Put down your utensils between each bite

- To burn more cals, walk around while on ur phone instead of laying around or do jumping jacks while watching tv

- Need to grab stuff? Grab one item at a time, you’ll get more steps in.

- SET ASIDE TIME IN UR DAY TO WORKOUT !!

- Wear tight revealing clothes that you feel self-conscious in all the time (yes, even out), it’ll motivate you to lose weight

- Before eating count out loud up to the number of calories that food has. (Ex if it has 300 calories count to 300)

- Not sure of this will make sense but if you’re laying down take a pillow (typically works better if it’s a big firm pillow) and basically do bicycles with it. (Hands rest on the top edge of it while one foot kicks it up, flipping it over, where you repeat with the OTHER one foot. Hard to explain lol)

- If ur laying down do glute bridges, easy way to burn calories lazily

Excuses for not eating:

- I’m allergic to that

- I don’t like that

- I ate before coming here/ ate already

- That food makes me feel sick

- I’ll eat later

- I have to go

- Stomach is upset right now

- Nauseous

- Sore throat

- Tooth ache

- Bit tongue n it hurts too much to eat

- Don’t have any money to buy anything

- You don’t like that food unless it has a particular sauce/dip/dressing that isn’t there

- Fasting for religious reasons

- Ate with someone else

- Forgot lunch

Why I personally do this:

- I feel out of control, I want the control again.

- So I can feel happy looking at my body and seeing you can see the bones again.

- So I can take progress pics again and smile at the difference each time.

- So I can constantly be sore from working out, sore and satisfied.

- So I look exhausted n sickly

- So ppl get concerned again

- So I don’t feel sick every time I eat too much

- Because I love myself

- Because I can do this <3

- You don’t want to be a fat pig, do you?

- Because I’m tired of the nasty greasy skin.

- So I can wear whatever I want and look GOOD and feel GREAT

- Because when you’re skinny like I used to be you can eat a doughnut without gaining weight. (You can eat anything pretty much)

Eating disorder movies:

To The Bone

The Perfect Body

For the Love of Nancy

Hunger Point

Thin

Feed

Maledimiele

A Secret Between Friends

Sharing the Secret

My Skinny Sister

Little Miss Perfect

Starving in Suburbia

Dying to Dance

Girl, Interrupted

Kate’s secret

The Best Little Girl in the World

Bricole

Dying to be Perfect: the Ellen Hart Pena story

Feed

The Famine Within

Compulsion

Affirmations/ things to tell urself:

- I don’t starve to punish myself. I starve to lose weight because when you lose weight people’s heads snap towards you when you pass them, the attention is suddenly on you, you feel comfortable in your own body, and you actually feel happy, exhilarated. By starving myself I’m simply giving myself a better, happier life. I starve for improvement, to be able to love my life.

- I starve to be better

- I starve for myself

- My body might not be perfect now, but it will be

- I can do it

- you are weightless, tethered to no stone.

- when you move, you are being blown by the wind and you are driven by your hunger.

- you are the thinnest person you know, and you love that fact.

- you are thin limbs wired in a porcelain frame.

- people envy you, but only in secret because if anyone knew, they'd be called a bad person. people worry about you, but they wanna be you.

- you are weightless.

- you are thin.

- you are 100 pounds soaking wet.

- people can throw you with ease.

- you. are. weightless.

List of things to do to distract urself from eating:

- drink tea or coffee / some other low cal drink

- Chew sugar free gum

- Drink water

- Sleep

- Read a book

- Journal

- Write a story

- Watch a series/movie

- Do yoga

- Do skincare

- Have a shower/bath

- Practice learning an instrument

- Draw/paint

- Do homework/study

- Go on a walk

- Play a video game

- Clean your room

- Clean your bathroom

- Clean your closet

- Listen to music

- Organize your playlists

- Add to your Pinterest boards

- Text/call/talk to ur friends

- Look at thinspo

- Do a body check to track progress

- Weigh yourself

- Watch mukbangs

- Chewing gum is great to trick you into feeling less hungry

- Plan meals/check caloric value of foods

- Online shopping for clothing you want

- Skincare

- Clean our ur photos

- Organize ur phone

- Go through emails

- Organize drawers + cabinets

- Plan outfits

Pros of an ed (if ur consistent)

- Clear skin

- Can see ur collarbones

- Can see ur ribs

- Stop craving junk

- Can wear whatever u want

- Feel comfortable in ur own skin

- Confidence through the roof

- People look at u cause ur attractive

- Sweat less

- Stop having greasy hair

- Don’t have to check clothing sizes, everything fits

- All ur outfits look better

- Not scared to be picked up

Words on Pinterest to find thinspo:

- body goals

- Dream body

- What is food?

- Wonyongisim

- Ed motivational quotes

- Eating discord

- goals inspiration

- Ed motivational quotes

- Restriction meals

- Eating disor food

- Small bones

- 4n motivation

- I work out

* Petite aesthetic (also works for mealspo)

* Body aesthetics goals

* Thin body goals

* Heroin chic

* HerOin chic

* 90s thin

My fav Meanspo!!:

You dont deserve to eat.

Look at you, those piles of lard crushing your bones.

No wonder no one wants to be around you.

You're an embarrassment.

so you wanna binge? you want to eat a bunch of foods that you already know the taste of? throwing away weeks of progress? becoming a bloated, gross, ugly, sad MESS? does that sound fun? is that what you want?

well?

if you decide to binge dont you dare fucking complain about being fat and feeling guilty later. YOU CHOSE this. you WANTED THIS. by choosing to stuff your face, you clearly WANT to be a whale. otherwise you would have put the fork down. deal with it, and dont bitch about it then.

if you stay strong, youre not missing out on anything except disgusting fat growing on your body. the only thing a binge will do for you is give you five minutes of fun for weeks of regret and fat, but sticking to your goals will pay off in ways that no short term pleasure EVER will.

your decision.

choose it well.

starving is literally the action of NOT doing something,

NOT eating. how r u so useless that u cant even do

NOTHING???

DONT FUCKING EAT IT. I DONT CARE IF ITS 100 O1 50 CALORIES OR IF YOU DID GOOD TODAY. YOU DIDNT DO WELL IF U ATE. YOU WILL FEEL LIKE SHIT. YOU WILL BE BLOATED AND WHEN YOU STEP ON THE SCALE THE NUMBERS ONLY GO UP.

TRUST ME U WILL HATE YOURSELF EVEN MORE. THE FAT IS LITTERALY SPREADING ON YOUR BIG FUCKING BELLY AND HIPS AS IM TYPING THESE LINES. ITS NEVER FUCKING WORTH IT. NEVER. FOR WHAT? FOR A MOMENT ON THE LIPS AND FOREVER ON THE HIPS? WAKE UP TO REALITY AND DO SOMETHING NOW

do you mind coming to dinner in a separate car? whenever you eat, it's hard to sit by you since you take up a lot of space :/ hope you understand!!

Your morning skinny is probably someone else's night time bloat.

For once don't go over your cal limit. Like, do you even know what the word LIMIT means??

How do you think your future self would feel knowing you eat like your the next contestant on my 600 pound life? God go exercise PLEASE.

Don't get any fatter now.

Real life thinspo:

@chl0e_alexandra - tiktok

@lamourmrbig - tiktok

@sweetcoolkaro

@felinefamine - tiktok

@1lilouette - tiktok

Uhhh probably repeated but all my reasons:

- skinny ppl look good from EVERY angle

- How oversized hoodies look on skinny ppl

- So when im cold ppl will say it’s because I need some meat on my bones instead of offering me a jacket

- So I won’t be embarrassed to ask if they have my size in stock

- To show your stomach with no shame

- So you’ll never have to look at someone’s body with envy again

- So ppl can’t body shame u as an insult

- To move your belt notches over

- So I can sit down and still have a flat stomach

- To not have a double chin at any angle

- To go while days without thinking (negatively) about your weight

- So you feel proud to say your weight instead of nervous

- To not cry in dressing rooms

- To have confidence everyday

- So guys won’t sexualize my body

- So people say bod is tea or other stuff

- So you don’t obsess over food, it’s just..food

- So treats r really treats that u don’t get guilty over

- So if you take a photo w a skinny person (esp a model!!) you won’t be disgusted or made fun of!

- Have jinx’s body

- everything is Aeshetic when ur skinny

What else should I add?

#3d not sheeran #tw ed ana #@na shit #tw ana bløg #ed but not ed sheeran #thinneristhewinner #@anablog #light as a 🪶#@n@#@na fast

30 notes · View notes

skeletal-r3xie · 8 days ago

Text

Well well well…

I just couldn’t resist until next Wednesday, and I stepped on the damn scale. Only to find out I’ve fucking gained a kilo?! Hello?!? I’m now 50.4?!?? I was previously 49.6.

The only contributing factors I can think of is the fact I haven’t shit in days, and my period is supposed to be coming soon (like today or tomorrow, and if not then I’m off to go get a pregnancy test gals!!), oh, and the fact I never drink enough water so my body could be retaining it.

And this is exactly why I don’t like weighing myself if it isn’t a week apart 🥲

Anybody have any tips? I would buy some laxatives but I haven’t really got the money atm, I am going food shopping tomorrow so I can pick up some things with more fibre in them if that helps? And obviously I’m gonna try drinking more water.

24 notes · View notes

flipzone · 11 months ago

Text

Buy now- https://flipzoneonline.com/product/lenovo-hs11-smart-weighing-scale/

The Lenovo hs11 weighing scale is made from a durable steel frame covered in an elegant, scratch-resistant surface. It communicates directly with the free Lenovo Health app on your smartphone.

The app provides you with helpful fitness guidance as well as comprehensive statistics on your progress over time.

The Lenovo HS11 Smart Body Fat Scale is an all-in-one digital health scale that automatically records your weight, body fat, muscle, and bone mass. Once you’ve stepped on the HS11 Smart weighing Scale, simply use the mobile APP to view your data in a few seconds.

Lenovo HS11 Smart weighing Scale not only tracks the user’s daily body weight and BMI but also offers a set of other advanced features.

Using sophisticated sensors, the HS11 provides readings on lean mass and body fat percentage in addition to basic body measurements like weight, BMI, and percentage of body fat.

#best weighing machine in india #weighing machine for body weight #digital weighing machine #best weighing machine #omron weighing machine #electronic weighing machine #digital weighing machine price #weight machine for shop #weighing scale online #cheap weighing machine

0 notes

levisolace · 24 days ago

Text

[8] Expendable Hearts (Levi x F!Reader)

Chapter 8: New Perspective

WC: 8,434 Chapter Warnings: none Summary: Everyone in Levi's life knows he only ever dated one girl and that she left him wrecked, bitter, and heartbroken. Many years later, she's back in his life and he doesn't know what to do. Note: unedited lol

story masterlist | prev chapter > next chapter

The morning air bites at your fingers as you clutch two steaming cups outside the coffee shop, their warmth the only buffer against the chill creeping up your spine. You hadn’t expected your nerves to be this frayed, but standing here, a cup of tea and coffee in hand, you feel oddly exposed. It’s a simple gesture, a peace offering at best—but when it comes to Levi, every step feels like it’s weighed down with history.

Steeling yourself, you inhale, letting the brisk air fill your lungs and remind you why you’re here. Your mind replays the argument from his apartment, the tension that’s lingered for days, and the faint glimmer of hope you’ve felt since.

“It’s just tea,” you whisper to yourself, as if saying it aloud will lessen the stakes.

You walk into the towering building of Stohess Stone Group, hot cups in hand, only to stop dead in your tracks at the sight before you. You’d heard whispers of Levi’s success in passing, fragments of conversation that hadn’t fully registered until now. But standing here, you can feel the sheer presence of it—a sleek, multi-story glass facade, bustling with employees, each corner immaculate and efficient, embodying Levi’s uncompromising standards.

You feel small, oddly out of place, your surprise quickly turning to something closer to awe as you take in the surroundings. Seven years had passed since you’d been here, seven years in which you’d barely had a glimpse into this part of his life. And in that time, he’d built… all of this?

As you make your way inside the building, everything feels slightly surreal. Levi’s name is displayed discreetly on polished silver plaques, his signature attention to detail evident in every corner. The sheer scope of the operation is far beyond what you’d imagined; what once started as a single family restaurant had grown into a full-scale food empire.

The receiving lobby was busy and the receptionist gazed at you head to toe when you told her that you’re here for Levi Ackerman. After making a quick call, she gives you a card pass and tells you the floor to head to.

Arriving at his office lobby, you’re greeted with his wide-eyed assistant, Connie, who casts a curious glance at the two cups in your hands but says nothing.

“Oh! Miss? You’re here for Sir Levi?” He asks, ever so cheerful.

“Yeah. I’ll just give him this. Or if he’s busy I can just drop them off here,” I tell him.

He types for a second at his computer before glancing at you. “He’s currently on a call. But I notified him that you’re here. You can sit there, ma’am,” he gestures at the couch just beside the door labeled with Levi’s name and his position.

Levi Ackerman

Chief of Executive Officer

Thanking Connie, you settled into a seat in the lobby, you noticed the sterile, minimalist decor—the kind Levi would approve of. Every second of waiting feels like it’s adding weight to your chest, thoughts rushing through your mind in a blur. Should you apologize? Should you just leave it at “I wanted to check on you”? Your fingers tighten around the cups as if that warmth might ground you.

Then you hear his voice, low and clipped, coming from around the corner. Levi is leaning on his office door, staring directly at you, sharp in his suit, lighting up the room with an overpowering aura. His eyes glanced down at the cups you’re holding and his brow raises with amused eyes before settling into a guarded, wary expression. You offer a tentative smile, willing yourself to speak through the awkward tension thickening in the room.

“Come in,” he tells you and disappears into his office.

You follow him inside awkwardly, glancing at Connie who gives you two thumbs up. You smile at him before the door closes, happy at the support of the stranger you’ve only met twice.

“I figured you’d need something warm on a day like this.” Your voice is softer than you intended, but you hold out one of the cups to him, hoping the simplicity of the gesture might soften whatever invisible wall stands between you. He was already sitting on his desk, staring at the cup in your hand.

Levi’s eyes linger on you, unreadable as ever. He accepts the cup, fingers grazing yours for the briefest moment, and you feel a surge of warmth that has little to do with the coffee.

“Thanks,” he mutters, but there’s a tightness in his tone, an edge you can’t quite decipher. He doesn’t immediately take a sip, instead setting the cup on his desk as if distancing himself from the gesture, from you.

You watch him carefully, uncertain if you’ve crossed a line. The silence is heavy, stretching between you as he seems to consider you with a mix of suspicion and something softer that he quickly buries. He clears his throat, glancing away as if the wall clock has suddenly become very interesting. “So, what’s all this for?”

Your heart hammers, words tangled on your tongue. You’re tempted to back out, brush it off with a casual excuse, but you force yourself to hold his gaze. “I wanted to… to check on you,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

Levi’s jaw tightens, and for a moment, his expression hardens. But he’s listening, his eyes searching your face as if he’s trying to solve a puzzle. It’s enough encouragement for you to continue.

“I know I didn’t handle things right before. I know it was… abrupt,” you admit, struggling to keep your voice steady. “But I really am serious about making it up to you.”

For a beat, Levi doesn’t respond, his gaze dropping to the cup of tea, fingers tracing the lid absently. When he finally looks up, there’s a flicker of something in his eyes—frustration, maybe, or a weariness he doesn’t often show. He gives a small, almost imperceptible nod. “Guess we’ll see.”

It’s not the warm acceptance you’d secretly hoped for, but it’s something. You glance at your wrist watch. The law firm was just a few blocks away from Levi’s building so twenty minutes was more than enough time for you to walk to work. You’ve woken up a little earlier today just to do this small gesture.

“I have to go to work, uh… I’ll see you tomorrow,” you tell him, clutching your bag as you edge toward the door.

Levi’s brow lifts slightly, his arms folding across his chest. “Tomorrow?”

You nod, feeling a strange sort of nervousness you can’t quite place. “Yes… if you like this tea. Or I could get you a different one if you’d like,” you add, holding up the cup you’d just placed on his desk—a blend you’d picked out specifically, thinking it’d suit him.

He glances down at the steaming cup, an eyebrow still arched, and then looks back at you. His expression softens, a small, almost invisible curve appearing at the corner of his mouth.

For a moment, you stand there, unsure if your eyes were deceiving you, but Levi’s quiet gaze makes it hard to find the truth.

“I’ll… let you get to your day,” you say, breaking the silence, a bit too quickly. You turn to leave, feeling the warmth from his hand linger on your fingers as you make your way to the door.

“Hey,” his voice stops you right before you exit.

He eyes the computer screen in front of him, then glances back at you, his gaze level. “If you’re set on getting me something, there's another cafe on this street called Wall Rose Cafe. Their tea doesn’t taste like dishwater.”

Your face warms slightly at his blunt response, though you should’ve expected it. Levi’s honesty was always straightforward, rarely softened by pleasantries.

“Oh,” you say, giving a small nod as you try to cover your surprise. “Well, noted.” You clear your throat, forcing a smile as you add, “I’ll be sure to check it out tomorrow.”

“Good,” he says simply, picking up the cup and taking a sip. “If you’re bringing me tea, might as well make it decent.”

You roll your eyes playfully, feeling a bit braver. “You’re picky, you know that?”

He gives a noncommittal shrug, though a slight quirk of his mouth betrays his amusement. “And you’re late for work.”

“Right.” You take a step back, suddenly aware of the clock ticking away, but still oddly reluctant to leave. “I’ll… see you tomorrow, then. With better tea.”

“Looking forward to it,” he murmurs, his gaze following you as you head out, tone bored but with the faintest hint of a smile in his eyes.

As you step outside the office, Connie is already looking at you with expectant eyes and gazing down at the cup in your hand. He looks satisfied and even relieved when he sees you’re only holding one cup.

Oh God, Levi must really hate that cafe.

He doesn’t confirm your suspicion. Instead, Connie gives you a big smile and bids you goodbye. “Have a great day, ma’am,”

“You too, Connie,” I greeted him back before completely heading out.

You have a big smile on your face as you stroll down the streets of Paradis. Despite the wrong choice of establishment to get Levi’s tea, you would say that it was a mission success, for three reasons.

First, he accepted you into his office. Second, you saw him drink the dishwasher tea. Third, he had let you bring him another one tomorrow.

That’s one small step… and another penny for the progress jar.

The next question is, what do you do next?

It was late in the afternoon when you heard a light knock on your office door, pulling you from the pile of paperwork you’d been tackling all day. The coffee from this morning has grown cold and so has your day been. While working, your mind drifts on other ways to prove yourself to Levi. You’ll be giving him his morning tea… but what else?

Looking up, you found Pixis standing in the doorway, his familiar, calm gaze softened with a touch of concern. He strolled in without waiting for permission, hands clasped behind his back, surveying your desk with a smile that made you feel like he already knew what you’d been dealing with.

“Good morning,” he greeted. “Thought I’d stop by for absolutely no reason at all.”

You returned his smile, gesturing to the small stack of briefs in front of you. “As you can see, just… drowning in case files. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

Pixis chuckled, though there was a glint of sincerity in his gaze that didn’t quite match his lighthearted tone. “I know you’re fine here, that’s not what I’m here for.” He paused, as though choosing his words carefully. “Vanessa’s still convinced you’re handling more than you should. Said you’ve always been good at that.”

You let out a small laugh, though you felt the weight of his concern pressing down on you. “I appreciate it, but you know Vanessa—she tends to worry. Really, Pixis, I’m fine.”

“Well, if there’s anything you need…” His voice softened as he left the offer open, leaving room for you to step into it if you wanted to.

You hesitated, staring at the papers on your desk as you gathered the courage to ask the question that had been lingering in the back of your mind for days.

“Actually, there is… one thing.”

You met his eyes, feeling a bit exposed but determined to get it out. “It’s something personal. Is that okay?”

Pixis raised an eyebrow, encouraging you to continue. “Ask away.”

You fiddled with the corner of the paper you were holding as you continued. “How do I make it up to a person I owe?” You tried to keep your tone casual, but you could hear the vulnerability creeping into your own voice.

Pixis considered you thoughtfully, nodding slowly. “Ah. Now that’s a question,” he said, taking a seat across from you. “Depends, I suppose, on what exactly it is you’re trying to make up for.”

You glanced away, unsure how much to reveal. “It’s… not something simple. More like… time lost, chances missed.” The words felt heavy on your tongue, the weight of past decisions pressing down on your shoulders.

Pixis let out a low hum of understanding, his gaze distant for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. Pixis leaned forward, his expression shifting from gentle mentor to shrewd lawyer, eyes sharper, tone more precise.

“Making it up to someone,” he began, voice thoughtful but firm, “is about evidence and consistency. Think of it like building a case. You don’t try to convince the jury all at once; you provide proof over time. Show that your intentions aren’t fleeting.”

You tilted your head, a bit taken aback at the analogy but intrigued. “So… I need to build my credibility with them?”

“Precisely. And remember,” Pixis continued, “people are not obligated to accept your ‘proof’ right away. Sometimes they’ll poke holes in it, question your motives, or, frankly, disregard the effort entirely. That doesn’t mean it’s for nothing. If you’re serious, you keep building—make sure each gesture is as strong as the last.”

He watched you closely, reading your expression like he might in the courtroom. “When they’re ready, they’ll come to their own conclusions. You can’t control that. All you can do is control your commitment to making things right, piece by piece.”

You nodded slowly, his words grounding something inside you. “So, stay consistent. Show I’m serious, and don’t expect instant forgiveness?”

“Exactly,” Pixis replied, a small but encouraging smile on his face. “If you’re honest in your approach, it will speak for itself.”

You let his words sink in, nodding. “I just… don’t know if they’d even want me to try. I’ve already tried to reach out, but it feels like everything I do just makes things more complicated.”

Pixis leaned back, crossing his arms with a gentle smile. “People aren’t always ready to receive an apology or even an olive branch. But that doesn’t mean they never will be. Sometimes, the act of trying is enough, for now. Keep trying—but for them, not for yourself.”

“One more thing,” he added, his tone a shade more serious. “Before you start this… ‘making it up’ campaign, you need to be clear on what you’re apologizing for. Think about it like a prosecutor building a case. They don’t bring charges without fully understanding the offense.”

You raised an eyebrow, curious. “So… identify my ‘faults’ first?”

“Precisely,” he said, nodding. “A good prosecutor considers the perspective of the other party, the context, and how the situation affected them. If you can’t see that, your efforts might come across as shallow or self-serving. It’s not just about saying ‘sorry’—it’s about knowing what you’re sorry for and owning it.”

He paused, looking at you intently. “Approach it with that kind of clarity, and it’ll carry more weight. You can’t rebuild trust if you don’t understand where it broke.”

A weight settled over you as his words sank in, each point resonating. “That makes sense. So… I need to look at this like a case. Understand what happened, own my part, and then work on mending things.”

“Exactly,” Pixis replied, a proud glint in his eyes. “Trust comes from transparency and understanding. You’re a lawyer—you know this. Just… apply it there.”

You felt an unexpected sense of relief in his words, as though he’d managed to simplify the knots you’d been tying yourself into. “Thank you,” you murmured, the weight on your chest feeling just a little lighter.

Pixis gave you a gentle nod, his voice warm. “And if there’s ever anything else weighing on you, I’m here for that too.”

Pixis leaves after a few more words about work and you resume your responsibilities with a different weight filling your chest, this time accompanied by nerves.

You know exactly what to do next.

You arrive at the dimly lit bar after a long day, the sounds of quiet chatter and clinking glasses grounding you as you scan the room for Erwin. When you spot him in the back corner, he raises a hand, his familiar calm presence making you feel both comforted and nervous.

As you settle into the seat across from him, he offers a warm smile. “It’s good to see you,” he says, nodding at the drink he ordered for you, which sits untouched in front of you. “It’s been a while.”

You return the smile, grateful for the ease he brings. “It really has. How’ve you been, Erwin? Work still as relentless as ever?”

He lets out a soft chuckle. “Relentless is an understatement. But I can’t complain. Keeps me sharp.” You exchange small talk for a while—about his cases, mutual friends, the ever-changing city.

“How is the underground? Are you still certain about not accepting my offer to relocate you?” He asks.

I nod, a gentle smile. “I’m sure, Erwin.”

It’s easy to fall into a comfortable rhythm with Erwin, but there’s a lingering tension in the air, the weight of your true purpose hanging between you both.

After a while, Erwin’s gaze sharpens slightly. “I appreciate the catch-up, truly, but something tells me there’s more to this meeting than a stroll down memory lane.” His tone is gentle, but his piercing gaze reminds you of why he’s respected in the courtroom. “So, tell me… What brings you here tonight?”

You take a deep breath, your fingers gripping the glass in front of you. Meeting Erwin’s steady gaze, you feel the weight of what you’re about to ask settle in your chest.

“I need to know,” you say, voice quieter than you intended but filled with resolve. “I need to know what happened to Levi after I left.”

Erwin’s gaze softens as he takes in your words, though his expression remains unreadable. He shifts slightly, and there’s a flicker of hesitation in his eyes, the kind you rarely see from him. He taps a finger against his glass thoughtfully, then leans back, weighing his next words.

“Honestly, Greenie…” he begins, letting out a breath, “I’m not sure I should be telling you this. I think you know that, too.”

You lower your gaze, guilt pooling in your stomach. “I know,” you admit quietly. “I know I don’t deserve to know but…” You look back up at him, hoping he can see the sincerity in your eyes. “Please, Erwin.”

He studies you for a long moment, his expression softening, as if he knows something you’re hiding. Erwin was a good read of personality. It’s one of the things you’ve always admired about him. There’s always something hidden behind his gaze and one will never know what he’s truly thinking. If you weren’t his friend, you’ll be terrified of him.

Finally, he sighs, resting his hand on the table, his tone gentle yet cautious. “Alright,” he says, nodding slowly. “I’ll tell you.”

It was a cold evening in Paradis, one of those early autumn nights where the air held the scent of fallen leaves and the city lights glimmered against the fading sun. Erwin stood with Levi on a quiet street corner, looking up at the windows of the last apartment they had been directed to, hoping this might be the one. They had asked every mutual friend they could find, visited addresses she once mentioned, and had even gone to the edge of nearby towns, clutching at any hint of where you might have gone. But each lead had led to nothing—an empty apartment, a vague rumor, a number no longer in service.

Levi looked down at the ground, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, shoulders drawn tight. Erwin glanced over, noting the lines of fatigue that had settled beneath Levi’s eyes, darker and more pronounced than ever before. They’d been searching for weeks, occasionally with Hange, staying out late after their newfound work, making up excuses to leave early in hopes of catching another lead. Each dead end only seemed to make Levi grow more closed-off.

“Maybe she’s just… done with us,” Levi muttered, almost as if he was saying it more to himself than to Erwin. “She could’ve contacted us if she wanted to.”

Erwin crossed his arms, frowning slightly. “Maybe. Or maybe she doesn’t know how to. You know her better than anyone—she doesn’t run unless she feels she has to.”

Levi’s jaw tightened, but he said nothing. Instead, he kicked a loose stone on the ground, watching it skitter across the street.

“If she didn’t want to be found, we wouldn’t find her,” he said finally, his voice brittle, stripped of hope. “And I’m not forcing myself into her life if she doesn’t want me there.”

Erwin nodded, though he felt a deep sense of disappointment settle within him. He had been the one encouraging Levi to keep searching, to wait a little longer, but even his optimism had worn thin. He could see that Levi was nearing the end of his patience, hurt turning to frustration. There’s only so much three young people can do without much connection and power.

They walked in silence for a while, neither of them willing to voice the truth that had settled between them—that this was the end of their search. In his mind, Erwin tried to picture how different things might have been if they had found you, if they’d had a chance to understand why you left so suddenly, why there hadn’t been a single goodbye. But, as the night grew colder and the city quieted, that vision faded into the shadows of the past.

Levi stopped at the edge of the street, glancing back one last time at the distant apartment building. His voice was barely audible when he spoke. “If she ever comes back… she’ll know where to find me.”

With that, he turned, and Erwin followed in silence. Neither of them spoke the rest of the way, each lost in their own thoughts, coming to terms with the absence of someone they had both held close.

“He still hasn’t come out.”

Kuchel’s worry is evident in her face as she lets Erwin and Hange inside their home.

It was late in the evening when Erwin and Hange arrived at Levi’s home, after receiving an unexpected message from Kuchel, who explained that Levi had been “lost” for weeks, having quit his corporate job, barely leaving his room except for essentials like bathing and eating, barely that is. She’d sounded concerned, her words tight with worry, so Erwin and Hange didn’t waste a moment before coming over.

Hange rapped on Levi’s door enthusiastically, shooting Erwin a look of encouragement as she called out, “Levi! You better let us in, or I’m picking the lock.”

There was a pause before slow footsteps approached, and the door creaked open just enough for Levi to look at them, his expression unreadable but clearly worn.

His dark hair was tousled, shadows under his eyes, and his clothes had a look of having been slept in. Without a word, he stepped aside to let them in.

The apartment was dim, the curtains drawn, casting the room in muted gray light. His room is as clean as ever. In fact, it was so clean that it looked like all he’s been doing is cleaning.

“Looks like you’ve been keeping busy,” Hange said, trying for levity, though her voice softened when she saw the state of him.

Levi shrugged, sinking into the couch and rubbing his temples. “Stop being dramatic,” he muttered, glancing away. “Ma’s worried for nothing. I just don’t see the point in doing corporate work that means nothing.”

Erwin watched him, leaning against the wall. He understood Levi’s frustration all too well; the feeling of potential without a purpose was a burden. But seeing Levi so defeated, so unlike the determined, resolute person he’d always known, stirred something protective in him.

“Then maybe it’s time to find something that does matter to you,” Erwin suggested gently. “You’re not the type to sit still. There’s plenty out there you could do—ways to build something meaningful.”

Levi’s jaw clenched. “Like what?” he challenged, though the sharpness in his tone was more about his own frustrations than any real anger toward them. “People like me… we don’t exactly have places lined up for us.”

People like me…

Erwin wasn’t exactly sure what that meant. Levi was always a neutral person. He was never blatantly insecure or unmotivated. He was an achiever without much purpose but that didn’t mean what he was doing was pointless. He’s always done good—what was right and responsible. And yet after college, it seemed like Levi lost his way. He doesn’t know entirely but he has a slight idea why.

Hange, ever the optimist, jumped in, sitting beside him. “Don’t be like that, Levi! You’ve always had a knack for seeing potential in things no one else notices. All those places we used to hang out in? You were the one who found them, the one who convinced us there was something worthwhile in the quiet streets of Paradis.”

Levi looked at her, as if trying to gauge if she was being serious. Erwin nodded, backing her up. “Maybe you don’t need someone else’s vision or corporate ladder. Maybe it’s time to work toward something you care about.”

Levi’s gaze fell to the ground, a flicker of something thoughtful passing over his face. The weight of Erwin’s words seemed to settle on him, cracking the shell of apathy he’d built around himself. He stayed silent, the three of them falling into a comfortable quiet.

After a while, Hange leaned back, giving him a gentle nudge on the shoulder. “We’re here for you, you know? Whatever you decide.”

Finally, Levi looked up, giving a faint nod, and Erwin felt a small spark of relief. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. And sometimes, all you needed was the right kind of nudge to help you see things in a new way.

“It just feels…” he stares at nothing in particular. “I just feel like doing nothing for a while.”

Erwin and Hange look at each other, a glance that casts worry for their friend.

It was Erwin that spoke first. “That’s fine too.”

“But take care of yourself,” Hange scolds. “Have you been eating at all? Look at yourself. You know what? I’ll bring you cake tomorrow. One of my co-researchers…”

Whatever Hange was babbling about, Erwin can see that Levi has already tuned out. He’s lost in his thoughts, staring at an empty spot on his desk. Erwin knew it all too well. It was your spot whenever the four of you would hang in his room. You were always there, doodling away while contributing your thoughts on whatever conversation you would have. You would even leave sticky notes on his computer monitor.

Despite not mentioning your name for a while now, Erwin knows how much you still affected him.

Erwin had just stepped out of the cab when he spotted Levi in an unexpected scene. Instead of finding him waiting tables or clearing dishes inside the restaurant, he was outside, standing on a ladder in front of a neighboring restaurant. With practiced, unhurried movements, Levi was adjusting an old, flickering light above the restaurant’s front sign, his face set in concentration.

Curious, Erwin watched as Levi tightened a screw, testing the sign’s stability before he climbed down, wiping his hands on a rag. He exchanged a few words with the owner, who was standing by, clearly grateful and a little awestruck. Levi, for his part, barely acknowledged the thanks, nodding curtly and giving the sign one last look.

Erwin approached just as Levi stepped back to admire his handiwork.

“Helping out the neighborhood now?” Erwin asked, amusement lacing his tone.

Levi looked over his shoulder, surprised but unruffled. “Didn’t expect you to see this,” he muttered, folding his arms. But despite his gruff tone, there was a quiet pride in his gaze as he looked back at the small restaurant with its newly lit sign.

“People going in have been slow lately. Figured if every place on this street started looking decent, the whole block might benefit,” Levi explained, almost as if defending himself. “No one comes to just one restaurant. But if the whole street looks appetizing…” He let the thought hang, shrugging.

Erwin chuckled, impressed. “So, you’re turning this into your project.”

Levi’s lips twitched, a faint smile forming. “I’m not working corporate, am I?” he said dryly. “Might as well put in work where it actually matters. I help them out, they help each other. A good street can make a good city.”

Erwin was silent for a moment, realizing the scope of Levi’s quiet vision. It wasn’t just about Kuchel’s restaurant or his own pride—it was about building something lasting for others. And, perhaps, it was his own way of finding purpose again.

He clapped a hand on Levi’s shoulder. “You’ve got something good here, Levi,” he said sincerely. “Don’t stop.”

Levi glanced at Erwin, the faint smile still lingering. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Have you been sleeping?” Erwin asked.

He gives Erwin a look that answers the question without words. Erwin sighs. Levi hasn’t looked like he slept a wink for a year now. He always had a bit of insomnia during college but he hasn’t seen Levi look this bad.

For the next few months, Erwin watched as the transformation took hold slowly but surely. At first, it was just a handful of minor changes—new signs, updated menus, a fresh coat of paint here and there.

Levi, in his own understated way, had approached some of the marketing majors they knew from college, enlisting their expertise on layout, color schemes, and branding. The little adjustments began to ripple through the street, breathing life into what had once been a quiet, almost forgotten corner of Paradis.

By the end of the first year, a buzz had started building around Stohess Street. More foot traffic poured in each night, drawn by the inviting glow of revamped signs and the aroma of dishes that hinted at something special.

The neighboring restaurant owners, some of whom had barely spoken to each other before, began to work together, their offerings complementing one another to create a destination rather than just a collection of eateries. Levi had somehow managed to unite them with a shared vision, each business supporting the others to make the entire street shine.

Two years in, Erwin found himself standing at the heart of what had become a bustling night-life and food hub, a far cry from the quiet, almost deserted block it had once been. Strings of lights crisscrossed the alleyways, live music spilled from corners, and patrons filled every available seat along the street. Stohess had transformed into a staple for locals and visitors alike.

Erwin spotted Levi moving through the crowd, his usual stoic expression softened by the faintest hint of satisfaction as he checked in on a few of the restaurant owners. There was no outward display of pride or excitement—just Levi, content to remain in the background, watching the street flourish.

As Erwin approached, Levi gave him a nod. “Didn’t expect all this to work out, did you?” he said, a glimmer of smugness barely noticeable in his tone.

Erwin chuckled, shaking his head. “You always did surprise us, Levi. Look at what you’ve built.” He gestured around, the bustling scene speaking for itself.

Levi looked down the lively street, a rare, small smile crossing his face. “Maybe it’s not so bad,” he admitted.

And in that moment, Erwin realized Levi had found something he’d been missing for a long time—a purpose, a vision, and, most importantly, a place he could call his own.

As Levi and Erwin stood at the edge of Stohess Street, the glow of the lights illuminating their quiet corner, a sleek car pulled up alongside them.

They both turned, watching as the door opened and a woman stepped out. For a fleeting moment, both of them stiffened, their hearts catching in their chests. She moved with a familiar confidence, the way she tilted her head and surveyed the bustling street bringing back memories that neither of them had fully laid to rest.

But then, under the streetlights, her features came into full view. She wasn’t you.

Levi’s shoulders slumped ever so slightly, his gaze hardening as he realized the truth. Erwin saw his friend’s face shift, the initial spark of something—hope, maybe?—vanishing just as quickly as it had appeared. Levi looked away, as if disappointed in himself for even thinking, for a split second, that it could have been you.

They both fell silent, a heaviness settling between them. They didn’t talk about you, didn’t dare bring up the memories or the ache that lingered despite the years that had passed. Levi crossed his arms, his gaze fixed on some distant point down the street, his jaw clenched. Erwin knew that look, the one that masked more than Levi would ever let on. It was the look of a man trying to keep something buried.

The sounds of laughter, clinking glasses, and bustling conversation filled the air around them. Yet Levi stood still, somehow detached from the lively scene he’d helped create. Erwin saw it clearly now—the street had grown, blossomed into something remarkable, but the empty place in Levi’s life had yet to be filled.

Erwin placed a hand on Levi’s shoulder, just for a moment, a silent gesture that spoke more than words ever could. Levi didn’t acknowledge it, but Erwin could feel the tension under his friend’s rigid stance, the weight of memories he carried with him daily.

They turned back to the street, side by side, as the night wore on. And in the midst of all Levi had built, Erwin saw the truth: you still lingered, a quiet presence in Levi’s life that even success couldn’t erase.

The dim light of the bar feels almost comforting as you lean back in your seat, weighing Erwin’s words. It feels like he’s letting you hold a mirror up to your actions, confronting the damage you once convinced yourself was necessary.

Taking a deep breath, you finally say, “I don’t think I ever understood what Levi needed. At that time, I thought… I thought walking away was the kindest thing I could do.” You grip your glass tightly, afraid to meet Erwin’s gaze. “I was selfish, thinking I was sparing him, sparing us both.”

Erwin’s voice is soft but firm. “It’s not uncommon to think that leaving will cause less pain in the long run. But Levi doesn’t think that way. He values the people in his life who stay and fight. You were one of those people, until the day you weren’t.”

You wince, the words stinging more than you expected. “I was scared, Erwin,” you admit. “Scared that if I stayed, I’d be holding him back… dragging him into something he didn’t ask for. He deserved better than what I could give him at the time.”

Erwin’s blue eyes narrow, studying you. “Did he ever tell you that? That you were holding him back?”

You shake your head. “No. But I felt it. The things I was struggling with… I knew he couldn’t fix them. And I thought if I left, he’d be able to thrive. Be better without me.”

Erwin sighs, a bit of frustration flickering across his face. “Levi isn’t the kind of man who would let something like that stop him. You were part of his life by choice, and if there were struggles, he’d have faced them with you. But when you left without an explanation, you made the choice for him, and he had to live with that silence.”

The truth of his words hangs heavy between you, and your shoulders slump under the weight. “Maybe… I just didn’t want to face the possibility that he’d choose me, even knowing how broken I was.”

Erwin leans forward, his eyes softening. “Sometimes we run from the things we’re afraid to confront in ourselves, thinking it will protect others. But Levi never wanted perfect. He wanted real, no matter how flawed.”

Silence settles over you both for a moment. You take a long, steadying breath, then look up at him, finally finding the courage to ask, “Erwin, were you… were you ever angry with me for what I did?”

Erwin regards you thoughtfully, folding his hands on the table. “I won’t lie. At first, I was angry. Not because you left, but because of the way it all happened. Levi… he doesn’t let many people in. So when someone does get in, they mean everything. And when you disappeared without a word, it left a wound I didn’t know if he’d ever heal from.”

You wince, a pang of guilt tightening in your chest. “I never wanted him to feel like that. I thought he’d move on faster, that he’d be better off…”

“He’s not the type to move on from people so easily,” Erwin says quietly. “Even now, years later, I don’t think he has. He might seem distant and cold sometimes, but he feels everything deeply. He just doesn’t show it to the world.”

You feel a lump in your throat. “Do you think he still hates me for what I did?”

Erwin shakes his head slowly. “I don’t think he hates you. Resentment, sure. But hate? No. If he hated you, he wouldn’t have been searching for you for so long after you left.”

The revelation hits you hard, making you swallow back the sudden surge of emotion. You remember those days, how desperately you wanted to reach out, but you convinced yourself it was better not to. Besides, you literally had no time to do so.

“I… I had no idea,” you murmur, guilt gnawing at you.

Erwin gives you a sympathetic look. “Levi doesn’t talk about it. Even now, he doesn’t bring it up. I think he’s tried to bury it, but with you back in town, it’s clear he hasn’t forgotten. And he’s not the only one.”

You hold your breath, searching Erwin’s face for a glimmer of understanding. “You mean… you?”

He nods slowly, his expression thoughtful. “I don’t think I was as affected as Levi, but you were our friend too. And friends don’t just vanish like that without leaving something behind. It made me feel… powerless. It was hard, not knowing why you left, not knowing if it was something we did or… if you were okay.”

The gravity of what you left behind settles over you, and the shame feels heavier than ever. The Erwin you knew was always confident with himself. He knows the solution to every problem. He was that guy who people would come to if they ever needed any help. But when you left, he probably felt helpless that he couldn’t find you.

“I’m sorry, Erwin. I really am. I thought I was doing the right thing, but… I know now I hurt you too.”

Erwin places a hand on your shoulder, a small, reassuring smile on his face. “We all make choices we think are right in the moment. And I can see you’re trying to make things right now. Just remember… with Levi, you can’t gloss over anything. If you really want to make amends, you’ll need to confront the truth, however difficult.”

You nod, letting his words sink in. “I understand.”

Erwin’s gaze is steady, full of the calm wisdom he’s always had. “Then maybe it’s time to stop running and start facing things. And know that whatever happens, you’re not alone in this.”

A faint sense of relief washes over you. For the first time in years, you feel like you’re not running from the shadows of the past. You’re facing them, with friends who understand, and a chance—no matter how uncertain—to finally make amends.

Erwin takes a deep breath, his gaze distant, as if recalling something heavy he’s held back for too long. He studies you for a moment, the weight of his expression unreadable, before finally breaking the silence.

“There’s something you should know,” he says, his voice low and careful. “I didn’t mention it because… well, Levi would never bring it up and it still pains me to remember that night. But if you insist to know what he truly went through, then you should know this.”

Your pulse quickens, dread pooling in your stomach as you lean forward, bracing yourself for what’s coming.

Erwin’s eyes meet yours, steady but shadowed. “He worked himself to exhaustion, day after day, building the life he thought you left to find. Every late night, every difficult decision—it was all for you. He hoped that… if he could make something of himself here, you’d eventually come back. It was his way of holding onto you, even if he’d never admit it.”

You swallow, guilt creeping in as Erwin’s words sink in. “But I didn’t know… I didn’t think he…”

It’s like a curse. Levi loves so deeply that you never deserved him. You could live a thousand lives but never deserve Levi. Those words you said that night… it haunted him for years. You now understand that you could apologize for the rest of your life but never recover that time that he had lost for you.

“He doesn’t think you cared anymore. He started to never believe you'd look back after you left.” Erwin pauses, his words heavy. “But here’s the thing. When he finally realized that everything he built wouldn’t bring you back, he felt like he’d lost himself. You were a part of everything he’d made—every decision, every sacrifice. And once he accepted you weren’t coming back, he felt… lost.”

The weight of Erwin’s words presses down on you, and you struggle to find something, anything, to say. But no words came.

“He won’t say this, but deep down, he resents himself just as much as he resents you,” Erwin continues, his voice soft but steady. “Because he doesn’t know who he’s become without you. And even though he’s successful, respected… he’s haunted by the thought that he turned into someone he never wanted to be—all for someone who left.”

You look away, fighting the sting in your eyes as Erwin’s words wash over you, exposing the ripple effect of a choice you’d thought was yours alone to carry.

Erwin leans back, a quiet sadness in his eyes. “I know it’s not easy hearing this. And it’s not fair for me to say you owe him anything. But you asked, and I think you deserve the truth. He’s been hurt, but that doesn’t mean he’s closed off. He just… doesn’t know how to reach you anymore. That’s where you come in—if you still want to try.”

The weight of Erwin’s words is too much. You feel your throat tighten, your vision blurring as tears rise to the surface. Without saying a word, you push back your chair, grabbing your things in a hurry.

“Wait—” Erwin’s voice is soft, tinged with concern, but you can’t bear to look at him. You manage to force a small, choked “I’m sorry” before turning away and heading toward the door.

Once outside, you let out a shaky breath, the cold night air biting against your skin. You keep walking, not caring where, just needing to put space between yourself and everything you’ve just heard. The thought of Levi building his entire life around a hope you unknowingly destroyed makes your heart ache in a way that’s almost unbearable.

The city lights blur around you as you make your way through the streets, trying to process the enormity of what Erwin revealed. You’d never intended to hurt Levi this deeply.

But now, knowing the truth… it feels like the weight of your choices has finally caught up with you. And with the overwhelming emotions, you feel the bile rising from your throat, making you hurriedly run to the nearest trash bin you could find in the street.

Back in the dimly lit bar, Erwin sighed, setting his glass down with a quiet clink. The amber glow of his whiskey caught the low light as he lifted it, taking a slow, thoughtful sip. The bitter warmth washed over his tongue, and with it came the memories of that night—a night he hadn’t let himself linger on for years.

He could still see Levi, slumped and worn, the fire in his eyes dampened as he poured out his heart. The weight of it all settled on Erwin’s shoulders, the burden of knowing just how deeply Levi had been affected.

It was late, the celebration from Stohess Stone Group’s one-year anniversary winding down. The city lights cast long shadows down the quiet streets as Erwin walked toward Levi’s apartment, the night air cool and still, with only the occasional hum of passing cars to break the silence. He’d noticed Levi slipping out early from the party, but the exhaustion on his friend’s face spoke volumes—it had been a relentless year of building, strategizing, and pouring every ounce of energy into making the vision a reality. Levi’s efforts had paid off spectacularly, but the toll it took was visible to those close enough to see it.

As Erwin reached Levi’s door, he noticed it was ajar, the dim light from inside spilling out into the hallway. He hesitated for a moment, then gently pushed it open, letting himself in. Levi’s apartment was stark, devoid of personal touches, almost impersonal in its precision. And there, sitting slumped on the couch with an empty bottle at his feet and another half-finished one in hand, was Levi.

The sight took Erwin aback. Levi never drank like this—not even after their hardest days. His usually sharp, calculating gaze was unfocused, eyes glassy and lost as he stared at nothing in particular.

“Levi,” Erwin called softly, stepping further inside and closing the door behind him.

At the sound of his name, Levi’s eyes flickered up, barely focusing on Erwin. A bitter smile pulled at his lips. “Erwin… here to give me a pep talk?” he slurred, the words laced with an uncharacteristic edge.

Erwin frowned, moving closer and taking a seat across from him. “I came because I was worried. You left early tonight. Didn’t think celebrating alone was your style.”

Levi scoffed, taking another swig from the bottle, his hands shaking slightly. “Celebrating what? I built something, yeah. Something great, maybe. But does it even matter?” He trailed off, voice dipping into something close to anguish.

Erwin was silent, watching as Levi’s expression twisted, his mask slipping entirely. “This…” Levi gestured around the room, the building, the city beyond, “It was supposed to mean something. I thought… I thought if I made this city better, if I became something here… maybe…” He stopped, his throat working as he fought to put words to the whirlwind of frustration and hurt boiling inside him.

“Maybe she’d come back?” Erwin finished quietly, piecing it together. He’d known there was more to Levi’s ambition than he let on, but he hadn’t realized the depth of it until now.

Levi’s expression darkened, his jaw clenching as he struggled to hold himself together. “She left, Erwin. Without a word. Didn’t even look back. And I thought it was because I wasn’t… enough. That this city wasn’t enough.” He clenched the bottle tighter, his knuckles white. “So I poured everything I had into changing that. Into changing me.”

Erwin felt a pang of sympathy as Levi’s voice broke. This was deeper than anything he’d seen from his friend before. Levi, always guarded, always steady, was unraveling before his eyes.

“I kept telling myself it was worth it. That I was doing something good. That I was becoming someone… worthy.” Levi’s laugh was hollow, devoid of warmth. “But what good is any of it if she doesn’t care? If none of it means anything to her?”

Erwin’s heart twisted, understanding dawning in full. Levi hadn’t built this empire purely for himself. It was a testament to a memory, a ghost he couldn’t let go of.

Levi continued, barely noticing the way Erwin’s hand rested gently on his shoulder in a silent offer of support. “She turned me into this. Into someone people respect, someone people look up to.” His voice was laced with bitter sarcasm. “But she’s not here to see it. Doesn’t even know. And now… now I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

A long silence settled over them. Erwin kept his hand firm on Levi’s shoulder, grounding him as he fought to find the right words.

“You’ve done something remarkable, Levi,” Erwin said softly. “You built something lasting, something people rely on. That’s no small feat. But you can’t let her absence take that away from you.”

Levi scoffed, his voice filled with hurt he could no longer hide. “But don’t you see? She’s the reason I started this. And now I’m stuck being someone I don’t even recognize… all for a person who’s gone.”

He exhaled sharply, closing his eyes as if that would shut out the painful truth. “I hate it, Erwin. I hate her for leaving. And I hate that I’m still doing this, still becoming this… for her.”

Erwin felt the weight of Levi’s words settle heavily on his own heart. He’d seen Levi push himself to the brink, seen him sacrifice more than anyone had asked of him, and now he understood why. It wasn’t just about ambition or pride—it was the desperate attempt to fill a void left by someone he still loved and resented in equal measure.

He leaned in, his voice gentle but firm. “You have every right to feel this way, Levi. To hate her, to question everything. But don’t let her absence erase everything you’ve achieved. You built this place. You turned that street into something incredible. She may have been the reason you started, but you’re the reason it succeeded.”

Levi let out a shaky breath, his eyes closed as he processed Erwin’s words. For a moment, he looked as though he might break, the weight of his emotions finally becoming too much to bear.

Then, in a voice barely above a whisper, he murmured, “Then why doesn’t it feel like it’s enough?”

Erwin had no answer to that. Not yet. Not right now. But that night, he promised himself that he would for his long time friend.

End Note: How do you guys want Y/N to make it up to Levi?

#levi x reader #attack on titan fanfic #attack on titan x reader #levi ackerman #levi ackerman angst #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi imagine #levi fluff #levi x you #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #snk x reader #levi angst

48 notes · View notes