#week and like idk. i feel like the adhd lack of object permanence ... it could v easily have been stolen last week and i just wldnt have

[chatonnoir]

so many of marinette's choices/actions, esp this season, just make so much sense if you interpret her as having ADHD. ik the main thing people tend to point out is her eccentricities, her bad time management/tendency to be late, her fixations, etc. But ADHD doesn't just affect work/life habits and is smth that can create difficulties in maintaining interpersonal relationships for ppl who have it. E.g. A person w/ ADHD might literally forget to talk to/spend time with a friend of theirs for 2 months because they got busy with work or got really in to a new game or what have you, and once they contact the friend again, the friend might act weird or upset and think they were being ignored/forgotten, while the person with ADHD will be acting like nothing's changed bc of the way they perceive time and will be thinking "what? didn't I just talk to you like last week?"

So when you wonder "why didn't Ladybug consider how Chat Noir might feel after doing XYZ" -> It's not because she's inconsiderate or doesn't care abt him, but its bc she's so wrapped up in everything else she has going on and is so Deep In Her Own Head that it slipped her attention. So in Hack San, Marinette being surprised when Alya tells her to go talk to Chat Noir would be partially because she doesn't really know just how much she means to him or the fact that he has abandonment issues, and partially because she was so wrapped up in making sure the role of Ladybug was covered for that day and planning for every possible issue that could arise (the 749282 tips she sent Alya) that it completely slipped her mind. Ladybug's focus is on solving the problem in front of her, and when it comes to Akumas she doesn't care Who takes care of it as long as it gets done quickly. In Ephemeral when she's fighting Moolak she thinks "Need to Defeat Moolak -> Need Chat Noir -> No Chat Noir -> Call Nine Other Heroes -> Moolak Defeated -> Mission Accomplished." That's it. She doesn't even make a fuss about it when he apologizes abt it on the Eiffel Tower later that night, she's just like "oh yeah that, its no big deal dont worry abt it." To her it's simple: of course she doesn't think any less of Chat Noir when he's not useful to a battle, he's her partner and her friend no matter what, that should be obvious. She didn't think less of him for a second during that fight, so it doesn't occur to her that he might have thought she did. It's that whole ADHD lack of object permanence thing - "I didn't see it therefore it doesn't exist." She's also not good at getting in to other people's heads because she's deep in her own, and she's too preoccupied with all the Guardian business to stop and remember to consider things like "maybe I should check in with him to make sure." And the whole bad sense of time + stupid sense of object permanence that comes w/ ADHD would manifest as Chat Noir being depressed thinking "we haven't done a patrol together/defeated an akuma as just a duo in a long time..." while Ladybug would be thinking "I thought we just did a patrol? Like last Wednesday" "That was 6 weeks ago." "....It was????"

Anyway idk where I'm going with this I love our ADHD disaster bug and she loves her kitten and they just need to talk and hug

[quinnfebrey]

okay i think i saw u mention this in the response to the dating advice anon, but do you find it difficult to respond to people’s texts? like the whole not responding for weeks and then talking for hours on facetime thing. i’ve been diagnosed with adhd for a long time and i have always struggled to reply to people quickly. like idk something about it just doesn’t even register and i’ve noticed some other neurodivergent people have said they experience the same thing. i think it has to do with my general lack of object permanence, for example the way i lose everything i touch even though it’s right in front of me. my friends who are also neurodivergent tend to completely understand, and even the neurotypical ones have come to understand me. i have one friend that is exactly like me and one of us will just spam with a million texts and then the other will take days to reply but do the same thing, and we don’t care. it just is how it is. i feel so bad about it though. it’s always on my mind yet i have such a hard time doing it. one of my close friends has been giving me such shit for stuff like that lately and it’s really bothering me cause it’s not for lack of effort. i WANT to talk to my friends, to talk to her, but something in my brain isnt letting me, if that makes sense? i’m also actively trying to be better with her specifically but i still fuck it up sometimes cause i forget. i understand that she’s hurt by it, and have apologized and i’m trying to be better, but i feel like people love neurodivergence and say they understand you until it inconveniences them. they LOVE to say shit like “oh i lose my phone too sometimes ha ha!” but can’t handle the shitty parts of ADHD. they belittle the actual struggles of having it and cherry pick what they want from it to make it quirky. it’s being romanticized now and it’s painful to watch because my adhd makes me feel fucking crazy most of the time and people are commodifying the shit out of it. —🌵

omg cactus this is literally why i haven’t answered ur ask yet 😭😭 for me having issues answering texts and stuff has to do with

1. object permanence. i always say you can expect a reply from me either within 2 seconds or never. bc i’ll either answer as soon as i get it or the notif goes away and then i forget i even got the text in the first place

2. overwhelming. a simple question or response just fries my brain and so i just pretend i didn’t get the text LOL

3. idk why but typing makes me so exhausted like if we were speaking face to face i would give you rambles of answers but if we’re texting you’re gonna get “haha yeah” 🧍🏻‍♀️

i literally despise texting so much. it’s so hard for me to maintain a conversation and i’m bad at responding in the first place and it sucks so much energy out of me. even w people i am super excited to talk to i have a honeymoon phase of like 1 day and then i regress again lol

and yeah adhd is SO much more debilitating than even a lot of professionals seem to think. the ONLY therapist i’ve ever had that understood me was one who ALSO was adhd. that’s it. and she agreed the diagnostics and the info professionals get on adhd is lacking in a lot of areas. it’s so frustrating

idk i don’t really have any advice for your situation :/ but you could ask to call more instead of texting? and remind her you do want to talk to her you just have trouble with texting and it has nothing to do with how interested you are