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stefciastark · 4 years ago

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Time Travel ~Webpril Day 23

A/N: After Endgame, Peter needs some closure but he doesn't quite anticipate the hurt. This one references a previous fill for the prompt "Please! I-" from a few days ago. Short and sweet, but definitely on the sadder side x

~Read it on AO3

~Read it on FFN

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yeah. I just want a chance to say my goodbyes, y’know?”

Bruce handed Peter a pair of glasses with a grim closed-lipped smile; they looked comically small in Bruce’s now Hulk-sized hands. The frames were thick and dark. They looked like something that the hipster kids at Peter’s school wore, but he knew these cost infinitely more than anything any student could afford. It was so strange to hold something in his hands that would give him the ability to essentially travel back in time. Not literally, but it would allow him to relive a memory he had wished was different.

B.A.R.F. Peter could almost laugh at the name. Bruce had to explain to him exactly how Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing worked, and the technology blew Peter’s mind. It would connect to his hippocampus, creating a holographic projection that would find a specific memory that Peter wished to alter - in this case, one that Peter found retrospectively traumatic or regretful in one way shape or form - and project it externally for Peter to re-experience. Bruce had gone into a lot more detail than that, but he had spoken so quickly and passionately that Peter couldn’t remember half of it.

Peter steeled himself for the rush of emotion he was sure to be flooded by. He was looking for a chance to get closure after Tony´s death, the sudden loss of his mentor, role model, and father figure feeling like a massive steel weight on his chest. Peter had so much left unsaid, and he had expected that they would have all the time in the world after the Battle of Earth. No one had expected Tony’s passing, and ever since he felt like he couldn’t really take a full breath.

Stepping into the centre of the large square room, Peter looked back at Bruce for the go-ahead. They exchanged a nod, and Peter placed the glasses behind his ears. Nothing happened for a moment until slowly but surely, his surroundings began to change as the glasses drew the memory out from his subconscious.

He was momentarily surprised at the memory that was chosen. It wasn’t particularly traumatic, but Peter had wished it had ended differently. Peter was once again in the Avengers facility third floor hallway, face to face with Tony who was currently voicing his disappointment. This was the day he had piloted a plane and safely crash landed it in the Upper Bay area. His first big screw up since the Ferry Incident.

“I’m not going to take your suit, so don’t give me that whole ‘deer in the headlights’ thing.”

And there Tony was in front of him. “Thank you Mr Stark. I just really want you to give me a chance, y’know?” Before Peter could think too much, he felt his lips forming the familiar words. This was a memory he had replayed in his head many times before, the shame and guilt of his failure having kept him up at night for countless months after.

“It’s not that I don’t believe in you, Pete.” Tony placed his hand on Peter’s shoulder and worried his bottom lip for a second before continuing. “You did great today.”

Peter had to blink back the tears that formed at the corners of his eyes. He knew that Tony wasn’t really there in front of him. He knew that Tony’s hand wasn’t resting on his shoulder either, but somehow he felt the warmth and weight of Tony’s presence. It was as if they were back in that moment, transported back in time to before. To Peter, there was only before and after. After hasn’t been so good.

The warmth of Tony’s hand lifted off of Peter’s shoulder, and he turned to watch as Tony walked down the hallway towards his domain inside of the Avengers facility.

Peter was still momentarily frozen in place, his mind not quite catching up with his emotions, and he was worried for a moment that he would forget to even speak.

“Wait, Mr Stark!” Peter finally managed to call out.

Tony stopped mid-stride, turning on his heel to look back at where Peter stood silhouetted against the golden afternoon sun. “Yeah, kid?”

Peter did a half-walk half-run to where Tony was standing, slowing down to a walk once he was only a few feet away. He took the time to take it all in. The way Tony looked so real; it was hard for Peter to process that this was only a memory. Taking a deep breath, he found the words he was looking for.

“Thank you... for everything, Tony. Over the last few years, you showed me how to be a hero, and how to trust myself. I never really had a dad in my life, and I’m so lucky to have been able to consider you my father.” Peter swallowed against the lump in his throat that just wouldn’t go away, the tears beginning to flow freely despite his best efforts. “Sometimes I do the wrong thing and I mess up, and whenever I don’t know what to do, you’ve been there to guide me and show me how to be better than who I was yesterday...What I’m really trying to say is thank you.”

Peter stepped in closer to Tony and wrapped his arms around him. He could feel the generated phantom sensations of Tony’s suit fabric against his fingertips, the familiar smell of his cologne, and the warmth of the embrace that Peter knew wasn’t real, but he couldn’t bring himself to let go.

“It’s part of the hero gig, kiddo. If you ever need to talk or whatever, I’ll always be here.”

Peter felt the two gentle pats on his back before the hug faded into nothingness once more, the illusion crumbling around him. As the last of Tony’s projection dissolved, he felt a trembling start in his fingertips and spread like a wildfire throughout his body as he crumpled slowly to his knees. His heart felt like it was filled with lead. He thought having his chance to properly thank Tony, to see him again, to alter the ending of a memory he resented for so long would make him feel whole again. Instead, it twisted the knife in his chest and made him realise how lost he felt without Tony in his life.

Through a blur of tears, Peter saw the large green form of Banner approaching where he had sunk in the centre of the room. Slowly kneeling down in front of Peter, Bruce gently plucked the glasses from Peter’s face, and set them aside gently on the ground beside them. Bruce reshuffled where he was sitting so he was situated beside the young Avenger, and placing one arm over Peter’s shoulders, drew him in for a side hug.

“I’m sorry, Peter.” Peter felt the hum of Bruce’s voice from where his ear rested on the side of his chest.

“I just really miss him.”

“I know, me too.”

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webpril · 4 years ago

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MASTERLIST

I’ll be updating this as the month goes! (stories below the cut)

DAY ONE (1): Field Trip

Full Circle by MsHermia

Ferry Rides, Panic Attacks, and Cheeseburgers by marvelous-writer

Peter Parker’s Day Off by universemarvel

Webpril Day One: Field Trip by stefciastark

Pre-Field Trip Jitters by anarchyduck

Webpril Day 1: Field Trip by zanderljones

Webpril Day One by thedumbestavenger

Webpril Day One by babydagger28

Chapter 1: Field Trip by sdottkrames

Webpril Day 1: Field Trip by iron-niffler (drawing)

DAY TWO (2): “I don’t want to go”

“I don’t want to go” ~ Webpril Day 2 by stefciastark

Get Out of Jail Free Card by anarchyduck

The Big Day by babydagger28

I don’t want to go by zanderljones

Webpril Day 2: I don’t want to go by iron-niffler

I don’t want to go by thedumbestavenger

This can’t be it by babydagger28

Not Fine by MsHermia

DAY THREE (3): Soul World

Soul World by zanderljones

Into the Soul World by thedumbestavenger

What’s In Your Heart by MsHermia

soul world by @lockedupinalittleroom

DAY FOUR (4): STUCK UNDER A BUILDING

Not My First Time by thedumbestavenger

Stuck Under a Building by zanderljones

Occupational Hazard by MsHermia

Déjà Vu by babydagger28

Trapped by @iron-niffler

DAY FIVE (5): MIT

Recommendation Letter by babydagger28

Mit ~ Webpril Day 5 by stefciastark

Day Five: MIT by zanderljones

The Sunny Parts by time-to-cause-chaos

Great (MIT) Expectations by MsHermia

DAY SIX (6): SCARS

Scars by zanderljones

Scars ~ Webpril Day 6 by stefciastark

A Different Future by thedumbestavenger

Not Fine by MsHermia

Can You Even Scar? by babydagger28

DAY SEVEN (7): METAL ARM

Metal Arm ~ Webpril Day 7 by stefciastark

Day 7: Metal Arm by zanderljones

What Are You? 12? by babydagger28

1 AM Meeting by anarchyduck

Metal Arm by @iron-niffler

DAY EIGHT (8): WORTHY

Worthy ~ Webpril Day 8 by stefciastark

Day 8: Worthy by zanderljones

I Can’t Rule (I Have School) by babydagger28

Worthy by @iron-niffler

DAY NINE (9): GENIUS, BILLIONAIRE, PLAYBOY, PHILANTHROPIST, FATHER

Day 9: Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist, Father by zanderljones

Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist, Father ~ Webpril Day 9 by stefciastark

Genius, Billionaire, Father by @iron-niffler

DAY TEN (10): HYDRA

Hydra by @zanderljones

Hydra by @iron-niffler

DAY ELEVEN (11): VINES

Weird Language by @babydagger28

Look At All Those Chickens! by @iron-niffler

Vines by @stefciastark

DAY TWELVE (12): IDENTITY REVEAL

Say Goodbye (To The Old You) by @babydagger28

“The Truth Is... I am Spiderman” by @iron-niffler (drawing)

Meet Cute by @mshermia

Identity Reveal by @zanderljones

DAY THIRTEEN (13): DISNEYLAND

Disneyland by @stefciastark

Snickers Secret by @babydagger28

Disneyland by @iron-niffler

DAY FOURTEEN (14): PETER SNAPS

Peter Snaps by @stefciastark

Fourteen Million Six Hundred And Six by @anarchyduck

In Good Hands by @babydagger28

Peter Snaps by @iron-niffler

DAY FIFTEEN (15): ENDGAME FIXIT

Endgame Fixit by @stefciastark

Endgame Fixit by @babydagger28

Endgame Fixit by @iron-niffler

DAY SIXTEEN (16): SWAPPED

Swapped by @zanderljones

Good Old Freaky Friday Situation by @babydagger28

Swapped by @iron-niffler

DAY SEVENTEEN (17): LOKI

Loki by @zanderljones

Brownies? by @babydagger28

Loki by @iron-niffler

DAY EIGHTEEN (18): 12 HOURS LEFT TO LIVE

DAY NINETEEN (19): DOESN’T DUST

Doesn’t Dust by @zanderljones

DAY TWENTY (20): DEADPOOL

Deadpool by @zanderljones

DAY TWENTY-ONE (21): BIRTHDAY

Birthday by @stefciastark

Birthday by @zanderljones

DAY TWENTY-TWO (22): ORPHAN!PETER

Orphan!Peter by @zanderljones

DAY TWENTY-THREE (23): TIME TRAVEL

Time Travel by @stefciastark

DAY TWENTY-FOUR (24): PTSD

PTSD by @stefciastark

DAY TWENTY-FIVE (25): “I JUST REALLY MISS HIM

Really Miss Him by @stefciastark

I just really miss him by @zanderljones

DAY TWENTY-SIX (26): MUTANT

Mutant by @stefciastark

DAY TWENTY-SEVEN (27): SICK!PETER

Brain Soup by @anarchyduck

Sickness by @stefciastark

Sick!Peter by @zanderljones

DAY TWENTY-EIGHT (28): HEIR TO STARK INDUSTRIES

Heir to Stark Industries by @stefciastark

Heir to Stark Industries by @zanderljones

DAY TWENTY-NINE (29): HOMELESS

DAY THIRTY (30): "I’M SORRY. I PROMISE-”

"I'm sorry. I promise-" ~Webpril Day 30 by @stefciastark

“I’m sorry. I promise-” by @zanderljones

ALT ONE (1): MJ

MJ ~ stefciastark (day 10)

ALT TWO (2): MORGAN

I’m Your Brother by thedumbestavenger (day 5)

ALT THREE (3): HALLUCINATIONS

Hallucinations by @stefciastark (Day 19)

ALT FOUR (4): PAPARAZZI

Paparazzi by @stefciastark (Day 16)

Paparazzi by @zanderljones (Day 11)

ALT FIVE (5): “PLEASE! I-”

“Please! I-” by @stefciastark (Day 20)

“Please! I-” by @zanderljones (Day 29)

ALT SIX (6): PANIC ATTACK

Panic Attack by @zanderljones (Day 23)

Panic Attack by @stefciastark (Day 22)

ALT SEVEN (7): CAPTURED

Captured by @stefciastark (Day 17)

DAY EIGHT (8): ADOPTED BY THE AVENGERS

Adopted By the Avengers by @stefciastark (Day 29)

Adopted by the Avengers by @zanderljones (Day 24)

ALT NINE (9): DE-AGED

Maybe Diapers? by babydagger28 (day 9)

Peas in a Pod by @anarchyduck

De-Aged by @iron-niffler (Day 6)

ALT TEN (10): BioGrandpa!Steve AU

Family Roots by anarchyduck

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