#we've waited for so long and finally after all these years we've won

[pharawee]

How to have sex carefully in tent. I'm ready. Can we do it?

—MONSTER NEXT DOOR · Episode 9

[mind-intheclouds342]

The perfect one - Trans Curly x Reader

Warning: Smutty!

To you, he was the best man you could have ever met, tall, blonde, with blue eyes, his beard tickled you every time you kissed him, his hands were big and perfect for holding your face, kind, compassionate, and you could keep naming many other qualities of his.

After so many failed relationships, you felt that you had finally met the right person for you. 

Maybe the only bad thing you could say about him was his job, which meant he was away too much, but in the last few months you were dating, there wasn't a day when you didn't receive a call from him and he would tell you how everything was going.

While you were waiting at the mall for their arrival to meet, someone had approached you. 

He looked familiar when you gave him a glance, until you realized he was a friend of Curly's, whom you had only seen in photographs. 

Jimmy: "Aren't you (Y/n)? Curly's girlfriend?"

"Um- yeah, it's me..." 

You nodded somewhat nervously at the man's sudden closeness. 

Jimmy: "Are you gay?"

"Excuse me?"

That question had caught you completely off guard. 

Jimmy: "Sure you are, otherwise you wouldn't be with Curly, right?" 

"I don't understand what you're talking about."

Jimmy: "You know, because he is a woman."

"Eh?"

Every word that came out of his mouth only made you feel more and more confused. 

Jimmy: "Didn't you know? He may look like a man and all, but he doesn't have what really makes a man."

"You know- I don't feel comfortable talking about this with you. I will kindly ask you to leave me alone and go away."

Jimmy: "Ugh, I'm just telling you the truth, you don't have to react that way."

He rolled his eyes. 

Jimmy: "You should be with a real man, I'm available if you're interested in that."

"No thanks, I would prefer to eat cockroaches."

You made an unpleasant grimace at that idea, but the thought of being much closer to that person for a longer time seemed even more disgusting to you. 

After rejecting him in a thousand different ways and having him insult you for rejecting him, he got tired enough to leave you alone. 

"What kind of friends does Curly have?"

You wondered, looking at the time on your phone, hoping he would arrive soon. 

And when you looked up from the screen, all you could see were yellow tulips in front of you. 

Curly: "Have you been waiting a long time for me?"

You melted at the sight of that beautiful smile he has, and the gesture of the flowers in a pot won your heart once again. 

"No, not at all, I arrived just a few minutes early."

You responded by greeting your boyfriend with a kiss on the lips, happy to see him again. 

Curly: "Great, shall we go to that new café you wanted to go to?"

"Of course~"

You clung to his arm and, attached to him, walked together until you reached that place.

You took a seat, leaving the flowers aside, and after glancing at the menu, you decided to place  your orders. 

Curly: "And? Have you thought about my proposal?"

"To go live with you?" You smiled, playing with the paper napkin on the table. "I don't know..." It's still a bit early~ we've only been dating for half a year"

Curly: "Mmm, but we've known each other for two years." 

"But it seems like you haven't told me everything~" 

Immediately, his calm demeanor changed to a more nervous one. 

Curly: "Hehehehe, what are you talking about?"

"I had the strangest conversation with your friend Jimmy, you told me he was a good guy, but damn, he's an idiot!" 

Curly: "Oh- um- and what did he say?"

"He started calling you less of a man and those things, he even called you a woman, I thought it was a bit exaggerated."

Curly: "Well... About that..."

"...Why would you hide something like this from me??"

Curly: "I didn't know how you were going to react... I like you a lot and I don't want to lose you..."

"Fool, it's not worth hiding those things, sooner or later they come to light, and it's better to say them beforehand." 

Both sighed and rested their heads in their hands. 

Curly: "You're going to leave me, aren't you? It's okay if you do it..."

"What?"

Curly: "At this point, this is where everyone leaves... For women, I was never a 'real man,' and for those who like women, I was never quite a woman, so... no one was satisfied with me after finding out that I am trans. " 

"I'm angry because you didn't tell me earlier. Not because you were born a woman"

Curly: "...Are you not going to leave me?"

"How could I leave the best man in the world?"

When he saw your smile and heard what you said, he couldn't help but feel a mix of pride and joy. 

At that moment, your drinks were brought to you, and you continued your conversation as if nothing had happened, talking about your jobs and friends, catching up after not having seen each other for a while.

You had decided to go to his house, you wanted to stay for dinner and sleep with him. 

"Was that you??" 

You said, surprised, looking at some photos from when he was a teenager, before testosterone. 

The two sitting on the couch in their living room. 

Curly: "Yeah... They always told me I looked very masculine, so I tried to look as feminine as possible so they wouldn't talk weird about me, but I think I just looked dumber." 

"You were so beautiful! You have always been handsome your whole life, it's unfair!"

You buried your face in his chest and hit him a couple of times softly, until you stopped and looked at him. 

Curly: "There's nothing left" he laughed lightly as if he could read what you were thinking. 

"Can I see?"

He blushed a little at your proposal, but he was quick to please you and take off his shirt. 

You attentively observed his scars, carefully touching them with the tips of your fingers. 

"I love them" 

Curly: "And i love yours," he smiled, seeing how focused you were on his chest. 

He became somewhat curious when you started looking at his face and chest repeatedly; he suspected you were up to something and confirmed it when you bit his chest out of nowhere. 

That was the greatest show of affection you could give him. 

"By the way! You need to work on your friendships. "

You told him when you stopped biting him, he was lying on the couch breathing heavily from how you had attacked him, his entire chest and neck marked with small bites and hickeys.

Curly: "Can we talk about that later?"

He said with a sigh and his cheeks red. 

"Of course" 

You smiled to climb on top of him and kiss his lips. 

You felt his hands resting on your thighs and then slowly sliding down to your butt to squeeze it. 

You let out a small sigh between your lips, causing him to pull away from you. 

Curly: "Are you sure about this?"

"More than sure" 

You confirmed it and let out a squeal when he grabbed you to carry you, getting up from the couch ready to take you to his room. 

When he laid you down on the bed, he immediately began kissing your neck and slipped his hands inside your shirt, trying to unfasten your bra. 

You felt his hands glide over your body to take off your shirt, momentarily parting from your neck to get rid of it and then placing a kiss back on your lips. 

He gave you a smile before turning to your breasts to start kissing them first, then licking them, and finally dedicating all his attention to your nipples, one in his mouth and the other being massaged by his left hand. 

He sucked, pressed with his lips, and moved his tongue in circles over one, while with the other he gently pulled and twisted, making them hard, causing you to arch your back while letting out small moans. 

Curly: "You sound so lovely..." 

"I didn't know you could be so eager..." 

You laughed a little until you saw him run his tongue between your breasts and then down to your stomach, leaving a kiss on it before he started to take off your pants.

"Hey! I'm not a rag doll!" 

You shook your legs to prevent him from completely removing the lower part of your clothes, it didn't bother you at all but you felt a bit lazy letting him do everything. 

You finished taking off your pants by yourself, left only in your underwear, sat on his bed, and smiled. 

"You have more clothes than I do."

Curly: "And if we leave that for another day? It doesn't bother me at all to please you today."

"Pants down"

You said it almost like an order, crossing your arms.

He sighed to start unbuttoning his pants, and as he lowered them, you saw that he was wearing boxers, but what caught your attention the most was the hair peeking out from the lower part of his stomach. 

"...Jungle?"

Curly: "Don't say it like that!"

"I see that the curtains match the rugs. "

Curly: "Don't keep on with that"

You let out a giggle and pushed him, making him fall back onto the bed. You rested your cheek on his thigh, playing with the edge of his boxers between your fingers, then slowly pulling them down to his knees. 

"Oh wow-" 

You just said that and Curly was already covering his face with his arms. 

You had never seen an erect clit in your life, but you didn't mind it at all, not to mention the amount of hair covering that area. 

You couldn't help but lean in and soon take it into your mouth to suck it, surprised when he suddenly lifted his hips and his legs trembled, perhaps you hadn't considered the sensitivity of that part. 

When you tried to pull away, his hands went to your head, pushing you against his pussy. 

Curly: "No, no, no, please don't stop"

And those words were enough for you to continue with the pleasure of that man, too immersed in his moans, not wanting to stop and even exploring a bit more by inserting two of your fingers inside him, giving him goosebumps. 

Curly: "Yesss, keep going like that- a little more- a little more and-!"

You could only drown your moan in his intimacy when his legs pushed you even more against him at the moment he reached his orgasm. 

Little by little, his trembling legs slid down your back, leaving you free, finally lifting your head with your cheeks red and your face all wet.. 

"Bleh"

You stuck out your tongue to get a hair off it, and both of you ended up looking at each other and then laughing for the same reason. 

Curly: "I think I got carried away-"

"Do you think so?" 

You murmured to lean over him and kiss his lips.

Curly: "Eew, you are soaked."

"Now you deal with it" 

They laughed as you planted kisses all over their face. 

Curly: "If you want to soak my face, do it like this"

He took your sides and pulled you up until your stomach was against his face, he started kissing you, tickling you, and making you sit on his chest.

"Hehehe what are you- oh my God-"

You let out a moan when he took your sides and ended up dragging you to his face, moving your panties aside with his teeth and inserting his tongue in an instant. 

You were definitely going to seriously consider moving in with him. 

[oh-no-its-bird]

Obkk modern au where where Kakashi and Obito are online friends who have never seen eachothers faces. It's a years long friendship (and mutual silent crush) where they've helped eachother through what was truly the darkest parts of eachothers lives.

But irl they also happen to know eachother from childhood due to having gone to the same schools and shared the same classes, and they fucking DESPISE the other. You can not stick them in a room without someone starting a fight.

When they interact irl, play into specifically the early dynamics of obkk, with kind of superficially happy/dumb Obito and a "follow the rules to the letter" grumpy overachiever Kakashi

But when they're online, play more into the older obkk dynamic.

Where Obito shows that he has a pretty big mean streak/humor and a serious talent for playing dumb; where he overlays his happier side irl for just social reasons.

While Kakashi shows he's actually super lazy and imperfect with most other factors of his life outside of work/school (and ofc downplays his actual work ethic when it comes to work/school, framing himself as doing bare minimum when he should really do more (bc he genuinley believes that)) and has a pretty wicked sense of humor himself, a love of over-romantic, fluffy porn, and a habit of using endless "cute" emotocons

Kk: Did my proposal today, it was so bad... I really slacked off this time on it. I was so nervous they'd tell me no (｡﹏｡")

Kk: I guess the other presentations must have been pretty bad too because they picked mine anyways? I feel so lucky (╥﹏╥)

Ob: it's ok even if you tried your best!! Im proud you were able to do even as much as you did.

Ob: I'm glad you got it, at least one of us won their proposal today. That jackass had a fucking 30 slide detailed slide with 6 DIFFERENT PIE CHARTS and a scheduled water break inbetween. Fucking kissass

Kk: nooo im sorry ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀)

Ob: it's whatever. Just glad you got the thing :)

Ob: want me to kill your boss tho.

Kk: lol

Kk: I'll help hide the body ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

And then one day Obito does some sort of very mean prank on Kakashi. And it goes uhh. Badly.

I mean, badly for Kakashi. Obito thinks it went great!

That is till he gets home and finds his best friend for a decade, and crush for even past that decade, texting him about a very specific mean prank that got pulled on them.

Wait. No. Wait. WAIT. FUCK.

So like. Obito is a bit conflicted now. He doesn't know what to really do here??? Like. What if it ruins everything with his best friend??? But also hey best friend why the FUCK are you such a BITCH.

But also also, suddenly Obito is recontextualizing SO many of their interactions— from Kakashi suffering the devistating loss of his father when he was especially annoying, to explanations of why he reacted certain ways. And oh my god Obito is... also a kind of a bitch???

Obito has NO idea what to do and is just swinging so violently back and forth on what are really his only two options.

And sometimes he's like gleefully feeling vindictive bc after arguing with irl Kakashi, online Kakashi is ranting about "that same asshole again" at work, so Obito is like "I KNEW it was getting to u, haha you're NOT better than me after all!!!"

But then later he feels kinda bad about it bc like. Aw wait no he actually might have genuinley hurt the person he loves. And also he doesn't want to lose getting to see the real Kakashi, a mix of both of his masks, by fucking this up and choosing wrong.

Anyways Kakashi finally somehow figures it out on his own, they fight, they make up, they make out.

The end yay happy ending

There's an alternate universe where neither of them every found out about eachother and continued to be friends online and hate eachother to escalating degrees offline. But one day they start to slowly shift in dynamics. Irl they get closer and online they get so much angrier and more distant. Till we've swapped and now online they just have this GIANT fallout but offline they're actually in love now. And this continues till they're about to get married/no longer on speaking terms with eachother. And so on their wedding day they reach out again online but ONLY to hate on eachother like "oooo fuck you I'm so happy rn I just got MARRIED."

"Oh yeah you bitch??? So did I. And my husbands better than anything your ugly ass could ever pull"

"FUCK YOU MY HUSBANDS FUCKING AMAZING AND YOURS IS PROBABLY LOOKS AND ACTS LIKE SHIT"

"OH YEAH????"

"YEAH!!!"

"PROVE IT!"

And then they very sharply turn and take simultaneous photos of eachothers furious faces and then angrily, instinctivley press send.

And then they stop. And then they have a moment of dead silence.

And then they begin to have an actual, physical fist fight in front of the uncut wedding cake with ALL of their friends and families watching. And the photographers with their very ready cameras.

There was a lot of cake.

Yeah that was ah uhh. Interesting

The good news at least is now they have a photo of them fist fighting like they want to kill eachother while covered in wedding cake in a frame that says "happy marriage <3" on it, and they like to joke about it (to many, many peoples horror)

The end yay happy ending x2

If I were to write this fr I think I'd legally have to write both versions bc both are excellent

[muzicgenerator]

Hey, can I request an angst story with Bill and reader (the reader is female) abt crazy fans please? Like them (Bill and the reader) admitting somewhere (idk maybe in an interview for a magazine) that they almost broke up because of that (maybe reader's fanbase is known for being "too much" sometimes like following the reader everywhere, being so in love with her etc)

(Also could the story take place in the 2000s please?)

Goodbye 👋

i like this one im actually excited abt writing this one shot

btw im so sorry for late reply AHSJHFKDHDK please expect ill take like AT LEAST a week to answer yalls request bc im busy as hell w school 😭😭 love u guys pls understand

and again this aint entirely proof read

⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

Too Much?

✮

Pairing: Bill Kaulitz x Fem Reader

Genre: Angst, Mostly fluff

Warnings: Stalking, mention of nonconsensual touching, very embarrassing storytime from bill

Request Status: closed :(

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮ I'm Not Okay (I Promise) : My Chemical Romance

(Time set back in late November of 2007)

Being a famous actress since as a child was unbelievably tough.

You had worked so hard and expertly; you didn't even have time to spend your childhood properly.

Just at the age of 19 and you've finished numerous movies and series. A true self-made millionaire, really.

You and your ravenette boyfriend are currently doing an interview for a night show.

"So ____, wow! After a long pause from doing films you're finally gonna have one showing soon! How is it like? Being back and all; being the talk of the country."

In the past one and a half year you hadn't done any projects since you've decided to take a break for yourself. And now you're once again busy taping with film staff and directors for your new and upcoming Teenage Romance movie.

Rest assured it's not your typical boy-meets-girl or vice versa and they do sappy sweet stuff and get together kind of film; it has its own uniqueness that will surely be called as "One of 2000s greatest Teen Romance movies of all time."

"Oh, I feel great Hanna. I had a deserving break and I'm back to doing one of the things I love most. I'm even happier because I got my lover and his band to sing the theme song for the movie." You truthfully answered and chuckled by the end of your statement.

"How about you Bill? How are things with your band?" Hanna included Bill to the conversation.

At that, he smiled politely. "Everything's great with us y'know, we're still together and all. Which I'm grateful for."

After a few more minutes for pep talk; the blonde interviewer finally decided to get onto the exciting part of the show.

"And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for! Dunk Tank!" Hanna smiled widely at the selected crowd.

"Where in this game; you will pick someone from the crowd who will accompany you with this game.

Your selected teammate will ask any question they want; to which you will answer, and if you don't want to then they'll get a chance to throw a ball on the target. Where if they hit it, you'll fall down the tank."

Hanna excitedly announced despite having done this for the nth time.

"____ and Bill, play Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who goes first."

You knew you'd beat Bill since every single time you played it - he'd miserably lose.

"Oh, I'm confident in winning this one!" you proudly say.

"Just because you've beat me all the other times we played this, doesn't mean I'll lose now!" Bill accepted your challenge and laughed.

He was right. He won for the very first time.

"Oh my God! Did I seriously win?!" your black clothed boyfriend exclaimed.

"I only let you win this time because I felt sorry." you playfully rolled your eyes with a smirk.

"Whatever, I'm gonna choose now." he giggled and stepped closer to the crowd.

His fan girls were screaming at the top of their lings, begging to be chosen by him.

No, you weren't jealous. Not one bit. Sometimes Bill would even complain about you not being possessive of him from time to time and would think you're not as in love as he thought.

It's cute, really. Then you'll show him how much you love him through actions rather than words.

Bill chose a girl who seemingly looked two or three years younger.

The joyous girl screamed in surprise; "Oh my god! What?! Me??! SERIOUSLY??"

It made Bill giggle, "Yes, you! Now get down here!"

A body guard helped the girl down; and when she was no longer at the stairs she rushed Bill to hug him but abruptly stopped. "Hi oh my god you're more beautiful up close! Can I hug you?!" she says excitingly.

It made your heart flutter just how kinder your boyfriend's fans are compared to yours.

To say your fan base is crazy is an understatement. Many would harass you through nasty words or touching you with no consent; it didn't matter if they did that out of how much they "love" you, it was still disgusting.

"Um, yeah. Sure!" he hesitantly looked at you; his eyes asking for permission. To which you subtly nodded.

Again, your heart melted by how he's making sure you're okay with it. Honestly, you very much understood that being famous would mean people wanting to hug you or any form of physical contact. Plus, it's not like you can say no to Bill from hugging a fan; you'd be a scandal. And you knew Bill wouldn't have any other choice as well.

He wrapped an arm over her shoulders while she fully embraced him. Okay, you're a teensy bit jealous especially by the way she's holding him like he's her man.

But that was soon washed away when she turns to you.

"Hi! What's your name sweetie?" Hanna asked and put a mic on her mouth.

"My name is Pauline!"

Before Hanna could say anything further, Pauline beat her to it.

"____!! I'm such a big fan of you too! I've been watching your movies since forever." saying she's over the moon is definitely an understatement! This will definitely be a core memory.

Almost immediately you wrapped your arms around her back and squeezed her. This girl is definitely one of the most respectable and sweetest fan you've ever met.

Was it really low? Yes.

The audience cheered by how sweet you and Bill had been to the girl and by how jealous they were.

As Bill and Hanna chattered about God knows what; the girl leaned closer to you in order to ask a favour which no one can hear.

"Can I ask you to shout out my brother? He has a huge crush on you!"

"Sorry darling but we're in the middle of a show right now. How about later I ask the staff to send you to the backstage? Then I'll give him my magazine with an autograph, and if you have a camera with you - you can video me saying hi to him!" you came up with a resolution.

Was it over the top? You didn't know and you didn't care. You're just fleeting with joy by how this girl isn't like any other of your fans.

"Seriously? You'd do that for me and my brother?" she gasped.

"Well, yeah. I mean it's not always that I have such nice interactions with people who are a fan."

"Okay lovebirds what are you two talking about there?" Hanna teased with a smirk and Bill playfully pouted.

"Nothing, nothing" you laughed and held Bill's arm as the crowd laughed and cheered.

"If you say sooo." she replied. "Alright, your turn to pick!"

You carefully looked around the crowd and walked five steps of the stairs to get a better view of the people on the back. A fifteen year old boy was holding a banner stating "Bill's No.1 Boy", it was cute, really. So you planned to steal your boyfriend's fan! (this a joke dont hate reader pls)

"The ginger at the back with the banner please." you said to the mic.

The boy squeeled in delight and threw his banner somewhere before running down to you. Your arms opened for an embrace which he immediately jumped into.

"What's your name?" you put the mic to his mouth as you both carefully went down the stairs and back to the stage.

"Sam, I'm Sam! My name is Sam!" his rather high pitched voice said.

"Okay, Sam. I know you're Bill's fan so I'm gonna have to steal you, that okay?"

"Hey, no fair!" Bill patted the boy's head and shot a smile at him.

This moment for him is definitely a core memory and will brag about it to every living human he sees.

"Now, who wants to go first in the tank?" Hanna asked.

"I'll do it" Bill says excitingly.

They agreed and the staff helped him get up. Once he were seated and adjusted in the circular surface; he challenge you.

"Ask a good one!"

"Ohohoo, we definitely will!" you smirked.

You turn to Sam and ask him without the mics near your faces; "What're you gonna ask your idol?"

"Oh uhmm, I don't really know." he says bashfully.

"Maybe his most embarrassing moment?"

"That'll work, definitely." you smile supportively and fist bumped him.

"Bill, you read?!" Hanna exclaimed.

"Born ready!!"

"Alright Sam, ask away!"

"What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?" Sam asked with twinkles in his eyes.

"Oh, definitely when me and ____ weren't dating yet; she threw a sleepover party and she invited me and my mates, and there were three bathrooms, right? The three were being used and in one of those bathrooms it was Tom using it, and I had to rush him because I really needed to take a shit, like I couldn't hold it any farther!

So he went out really pissed and I pushed him off the door and quickly shut it and went right into business."

Bill paused and tried to compose himself as the crowd started to get louder.

"And when I washed and pushed the flush button - It wouldn't flush! So I got really scared because I just shit in my crush's toilet and I can't let anyone know that I'm the one who did it. So i looked around and saw a pack of pads so I took one of them; and forced myself to dip my hand down to grab it and I almost puked!

I look around and see there's no trash bin. So I panic again, and eventually decided I'll just rush down to throw it in the garbage in her garage. I quickly make a run for it and almost bumped into ___"

He now covered his hands in shame and embarrassment. "And she saw the pad in my hand! So she asked me like, 'Is that a pad?' and I'm like yes and so she asks whose it is...... and I said it's mine....."

You know of this story long ago; and it just gets better and better whenever you think or hear of it.

The audience and interviewer roared with laughter; as well as the staff behind and securities who tried to contain their smiles.

"I wish I never asked!" Sam wiped his tears from laughing too hard.

"Get down here Bill! That was too much!" Hanna's cheeks started to hurt, "Sorry to the viewers who are eating."

Bill went down immediately and squeezed the living life out of you. He does this whenever he's feeling embarrassed or nervous, and calls it his "Physical Support" from you.

"You should've let yourself get thrown in the water!" you giggled and hugged him back before he pulled away with a red face.

"Next goes ____!"

Once you were seated and made yourself comfortable on the seat; you tell them you're ready.

It was Pauline's turn to question whatever she wishes. "____, what do you think of your fans?"

She asks sincerely; she must've noticed something by the way you're like to your fan base and to Bill's. A part of you wished she hadn't asked but you've been dying to let the creepers out there know that whatever they'd been doing to you for a long long time - greatly affects you, especially as a young stat growing up in this sort of industry.

You rarely held any meet and greet, rarely had photos with fans where you look actually comfortable and where they weren't touching your waist or hips or near your ass - and ones where you do look comfortable it was mostly with girls or kids, which was not as often as when you do with the rest; who are pedophiles and creepy boys.

Of course you've always been nice when interacting with them; you didn't want to be rude and only wanted to be kind.

Definitely, there were times when you couldn't take it and couldn't do anything about it - other than cry and complain in your lover's arms.

You're forever thankful to have someone like him; he'd always listen to whatever you say and support everything you do.

Not realising; you zoned out quite a bit and snapped out of it when Bill called out your name with worry that he's trying to mask from everyone.

"Oh-, well, obviously I love them so much, if it weren't for them I wouldn't have succeed this much - of course the people who helped me get up in this industry as well.

I truly do appreciate their love and support, seriously. But quite the number of them are uh, how do I say this." you nervously chuckled as everyone listened intently to the tea you're telling.

"Crossing my boundaries? Yes, uh- that." you say not quite satisfied with the word you chose. It was evident that it's worse than just that but the safest.

"We all know people would cross it by taking unsolicited pictures of you, that's given because you're a celebrity, but are there some other ways they would? If you don't mind me asking of course." Hanna carefully asked.

You smiled softly, "Well a few have stalked me to my house - which I dunno how the hell they did so and took pictures of me and they'd send it to me and tell me how they thought of me. Some leave love letters, flowers, food in front of my gate, sent death threats to my exes when I was dating them and even now to my Bill." you left the worse parts out since you didn't want half of the world to be talking about your most private part of life. What you're even telling them now is a whole lot.

"Wow.. we all knew your fan base could get a bit crazy judging from all the videos we see and the news, but not by this much!" Hanna says empathetically.

"It happens, I guess." you try to laugh it off. However, Bill looked at your hues with his that sent the message of "Are you okay?"

In which yours replied with "I'm not okay."

✮✮✮

The game went on a for it was Pauline's turn to the dunk tank, then Sam's.

You continued your cheery self through the whole taping and told yourself you'll regret what you said later in your dressing room. Bill kept his distance close to you and would caress your hand or shoulder as a sign of support - as well as slipping a "How're you holding up?" every now and then.

If there were billions of ways to show gratitude to this man; you'd do every single one of it to him.

After the agonizing show was over; you and Bill kissed Hanna's cheeks as a goodbye and thank you. To which she said back to you both as well and wished to see you soon.

As you made your way to the dressing room in silence with your fingers intertwined with Bill's; you abruptly stop in your tracks.

"I almost forgot I have to sign a magazine for Pauline!"

Your lover looked confused for a second "What? Why?"

"I kinda promised Pauline I'll just sign a magazine for her brother because she asked me to shout him out while taping." you let a small huff and loosened your grip on your boyfriend's slender hand. "How about I'll see you later in the van? You can wait for me there instead if I haven't been back by five minutes."

Bill smiled, "Of course sweetheart, I'll see you later. Love you." he pecked your lips and lovingly looked into your eyes for a moment before heading to his dressing room.

Quickly; you asked a staff to bring Pauline to your dressing room to give her an autograph - to which they agreed to. Thankfully.

While they did that, you strided to your room and grabbed your magazine and marker - which immediately after doing so, a knock was heard on your door.

You hand held the paper as the other gripped the violet ink marker. When you did, you were greeted by a Pauline smiling widely with a camera on her right hand.

"Hi!" she says excitingly.

You greet back and quickly hugged her, "I see you have a camera with you."

"Oh, yes, uhm.. I was wondering if i can take a video of you signing an autograph? So my brother would believe me that it really is from you." she nervously giggled. "I might or might now have pranked him once by giving him a fake autograph."

"Yeah, sure. What's your brother's name?" you say softly.

"It's Percy." she answers as she readies her camera.

"Alright, is it rolling?" you ask with a smile on your face. Pauline says yes with a grateful smile; grateful for being how considerate and kind you are.

"Hi Paul! So I heard from your sister that you're a fan? Too bad you didn't come with her." you looked behind the camera to Pauline.

"And I heard she gave you a fake autograph of mine? Well now, you're getting a real one, and this is the proof." you say still giggling as you signed the magazine.

"There, and keep the pen. I gotta go now, bye and love you!" you say as you waved goodbye and gave your iconic kiss blow alongside a wink.

Once Pauline returned the camera back to her bag; she immediately thanked you.

"I'm serious - thank you thank you sooo much! And uh.. I'm really sorry if what I asked earlier was too personal. I really am. I was just curious and didn't thoroughly before it slipped my mouth." she noticed the change of the atmosphere long ago. Even if she's just fifteen, she knew how to read the room well.

"Aw, sweetie.. it's nothing." you pat her shoulder, "It's fine I tell ya, also I better get going - you should too, it'll get dark in just two hours. Bye bye and stay safe!" you wave goodbye as she still exclaimed thank you's as she walked backwards towards the exit.

(that footage is definitely gonna go viral after many years)

In a light speed; you gathered your essential belongings and had your personal assistant help you carry your other belongings to the van; to which Bill noticed through the windows that you're carrying back pack and a purse and immediately helped you despite having it under perfect control.

He opened the door for you and let you in first before him and closed the door. Your personal assistant sat in the passenger seat next to the driver, while you and your beloved were at the very back despite the space up front.

You rested your head on his shoulder and he put his above yours while he held your hand with both of his; tracing every outline, massaging it, and kissing it once in a while.

"R'you okay now?" Bill mumbled and kissed your head.

"Yes, hon. I'm great actually.. thanks so much for being there, I love you so much." you turn your head to face his and pecked his lips.

"I love you more than you'll ever know, I'm glad you're okay." he smiled genuinely and kissed you deep and passionate.

You returned to your head's original position and fell to sleep; not caring if tomorrow, you'll be the town's talk.

[arialice]

Hey malevolent fans, let me tell you of the most malevolent coded album, Counterfeit Arcade by Shayfer James.

So many of the songs either in lyrics or vibes remind me so much of this show, so in a few words I'm going to attempt to explain my thought process about each song (be prepared, it's long)

Weight of the World - I don't have much to say about the lyrics. They kind of fit.

"That's just the weight of the world/We do what we must to stay alive/That's just the weight of the world/And we'll all be the weak and the weary sometime"

The instrumentals, tune and vibes is what really makes this song shine for me. Piano (obviously), the general deranged vibes and so on.

For the Departed - reminds me so much of part 20, thought I can't personally decide who's 'singing' the song. It lowkey works from both John's and Arthur's perspective.

"Save yourself/I am far beyond repair/They will bury me alive/But I'm not inclined to care"

More inclined to think Arthur because of the lines:

"Now I must finish what I started, oh-oh/I'll write a symphony for the departed/And I have no time for second chances/So I survive on bourbon, blood, and backward glances, oh"

"And so, the scene begins/Your cries become the wind/A desperate plea best left unheard/Then my contrived goodbye/A poet's pantomime/A drunken jester's final words"

Where we belong - this song. It's literally malevolent in a song. This is the most literal one. I would quote the entire song if I could, but here's some key lines:

"I know we're far beyond the point of no return/Let's say we light a fire and be the first to burn"

"Do you recall the day when we went wrong?/Time is flying/Ease your weary mind, we'll be alone"

"There's a freight train coming, barreling around the bend/There's a red light flashing, oh, ladies and gentlemen, this is the end/I do believe that we've a lesson left to learn/So take your seats, your salutations, and your turn"

"And on the way to our salvation, we'll be making plans/To overthrow the king and pick apart the promised lands"

L.V.S (Your Lady Waits) - makes me think about Oscar, specifically BlindFaith. Very much "you are my reason" vibes. I think it's the overall softness of the song, the emotion in it is so palpable.

"Oh, the mountains bow before ya/Oh, the clouds are open wide"

"Oh, and we, my friend/Will meet again"

"Upon this Autumn morn/Your laughter lingers on"

Villainous thing - This song is so, so, so obnoxiously Kayne to me, as in it feels like a song thats meant to be sung by him. The kinda cheery tune mixed with the lyrics sell it for me.

"Welcome, won't you come inside?/Oh I fear the passing year did not deserve you"

"Soaked and shivered from the rain/You have always been a delicate disaster" - singing about Arthur

"Waste no worry for the world/Let it be a tragedy of love and glory/While they wait by gates of pearl/We'll be building palaces in purgatory" - makes me think of him pitching the the deal with John in like a reverse psychology way. "Oh I'm sure Arthur is fine you can keep building your empire here in the Dark World, king."

Battle Cry - Works in general considering the 'monster of the week' trope this podcast sometimes falls into.

"Hear my battle cry, hear that mighty sound/They've come before and many more will try to strike me down/Hear my battle cry, hear that mighty roar"

The second verse is what really stands out to me though.

"I met a stranger on my way to here from God knows where/He won my lover in a dirty game of solitaire/He stole my crown and placed it crookedly upon his head/He turned around, I took him down and this is what I said" - again, thinking about part 20 (can you tell its my favorite?) The 'stranger' is The King/Hastur/Yellow/Whatever. 'But he's not a stranger?' He kind of is. After Arthur and John are together for so long, even the King admits that he doesn't know why his other half would pick Arthur. John himself had been making small steps at redemption, and just those baby steps made him pretty duffrebt from the King.

"You'll sacrifice the truth to justify your sins/But I don't need an excuse to let the darkness in" - again Arthur and the King. The King does 'bad' shit simply because he wants, yet when Arthur does something moraly 'bad', he has to justify it to himself.

Peace - Very part 31, aka Arthur's Scratch induced nightmare.

"I'd rather live alone than live a lie/I will never deserve peace" - the confessions we get from Arthur about how he felt about Bella

"I spoke to the ghost on my way to asleep/But the boards in the floor called my footsteps a thief" -reminds me of the argument with James. My line of reasoning is that James is the 'boards', and he's calling him a thief because he 'stole' Bella's life by stepping into it, marrying her when he didnt love her, if that makes sense.

"I will never deserve peace/I will never deserve peace/I will never deserve peace" - general self deprication

Diggin' Up Hatchets - makes me think of Larson or in general season 3. A little bit cult-y. It's mostly tune and vibes but the lyrics kind of work

"We're diggin’ up hatchets today/And sharpening the blades/In case, a stitch of hope remains/In this hell that we've raised"

"Hey! We're witnessing the waking of the dead/We’re ripping all the wires from our heads"

"We're burying mercy and grace/In unmarked shallow graves"

"There’s a plan for us lunatics and liars/We have faulty gears and wires/They can't save us, but they’ll do the best they can"

Under the Willow - John theme song in my mind, can't convince me otherwise. Song about discovering one's self and purpose.

"Mother, mother, I think I found my soul/While I was hiding under the willow"

"I've been the portrait of despair/Despite this hat and badge I wear/I've been a captive and a coward" - 'hat and badge' in this case is the crown and robe of the king

"I met a wise man under the willow/Lover, lover, look for me no more/I've been right here under the willow" - Arthur, obviously

"I've been a bastard and a fool/Rewritten nearly every rule/But I believe I'm worth redemption" - the redemption line alone is perfect.

Godspeed - the Jarthur divorce song. Arguing with someone but knowing that in the end you'll find each other again.

"There’s many ways to hide a heart that bleeds/But I prefer the ease of rolling up my sleeves" - might be imagining bit I sweat once John told Arthur that he wears his heart on his sleeve, if not I apologize.

"You’ve got some nerve to be coming/around with that card up your sleeve/And those thorns in your crown" - I think 'card up your sleeve refers to a plan, a secret, which John had many of

"Funny how the night is not as long,/when you depend upon/The dark before the dawn" - John deceiving Arthur many a times. Works well with the repeating line "I used to be someone that you could belive", Arthur starts ignoring and going against John (see, the entire thing with Oscar)

"Good luck, godspeed, I know I’ll see you again/I’ll always call you a friend indeed" - They always get over it and play nice again, until the next argument of course.

Have a Seat Misery - Coda and Intermezzo vibes. Short and sweet. Reads like a conversation between Kayne and Arthur.

"Have a seat, misery/Lord how I’ve missed you/Don’t go crying to me/That I kept you away for too long/Just put your feet up, friend/cause I read all your postcards/And in a way, I am happy to say/That you’ve never been gone"

"Let me light that for you/Seems your hand’s a bit shaky/We’ve got damage to do/And I know you’ll need smoke in your chest/So have a seat, misery/And don't ever mistake me/Of all of my friends, you know/You are the one I like best"

Conclusion/TLDR: Counterfeit Arcade by Shayfer James is, to me, THE malevolent album. Are some of these conclusions a stretch? Probably considering some of the lyrics I didn't present do actually go against the messages of the show, but I had fun writing this and the good(things matching up really well) outweighed the bad(some contradictions). Also go listen to the album or just Shayfer James in general

[mischivana]

Hi, I know that you are new but can you do prompt #2 when Jason Grace say this to the reader to confessed his love. SORRY ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE

I Think I Might Be Falling in Love With You

Jason Grace x Fem!Reader

Masterlist

Authors Note: hiiiii sorry this took so long!!! holidays have been hectic and I haven't had anytime at all to do anything. Semester finals are also next week so any other request will also be delayed until then so please be patient, I'll try to get things written asap!!

Jason Grace was a confusing person. Despite the fact that I'd known him for years in the legion, sometimes it felt like he was a total stranger. When he came back after his disappearance it was like I was looking at a new person even though he was the exact same before he left.

Currently, I was hunched over a table in the New Rome University library with him sat across from me. We were studying for midterms and he was helping me understand one of my worst subjects: Ancient Greek History.

Yes, we had won a war with them and yes some of our best friends were Greek but that didn't mean I knew their history as well as they did.

"Don't- don't laugh at me!" I said playfully as I watched him chuckle at me. I'd gotten an answer wrong and he laughed at me playfully. "It's not funny Jace! I'm gonna fail my midterm!" I said with another laugh.

"I'm not laughing- I'm not!" He said defensively, throwing up his hands playfully. "It's just-" He started again, tilting his head and looking at me "we've gone over Epictetus so many times now" he said, exaggerating his tiredness.

"can we stop....please?" I said with playfully pleading eyes. we've already been here for three hours and I was exhausted. We had a mini-starring contest before he let out a sigh. "Fine...it's getting pretty late anyway so-" he said, I looked out the windows and it was already dark.

"wanna stop to get food before heading back?" he said as he watched me put my stuff away. He threw his own bag over his right shoulder and got up. "Sure...there's that new Chinese place down the street from yours and Percy's apartment?" I suggested zipping up my own bag.

"Nah, I'm not in the mood for Chinese . Plus, it's Percy and Annabeth's weekly movie night so I can't go back for another 2 hours at least" He said as he checked the time on his phone. I was about to put my bag on my shoulder when he reached to grab it instead.

"Here, let me" he said grabbing my bag by its top handle in his left hand. "No- Jason you don't have to I can carry my own bag" I said as we started to walk slowly. "No, I don't mind. It's not like I can't handle it" he said as we continued to walk towards the front of the library.

He wasn't wrong about what he said. He was New Romes most trained soldier and was built like Michelangelo sculpted him out of marble. We started to walk on the side-walk towards me and Annabeth's apartment.

"what about that pizza shop next to your apartment building?" He said as we walked down the stairs. "We go there all the time Jason" I said playfully. "Yeah that's because they make really freaking good pizza" he replied without missing a beat.

"fine." I said dramatically with a laugh. We continued to walk to the pizza place on the corner next to the apartment building, talking miscellaneously until we reached the place. We ordered and sat down at a small two seater next to the widow and waited.

"I still don't understand, why was Nico upset when Will forced him into the infirmary?" he asked me confused. "Because Nico still doesn't understand that sleep is a basic human need" I said with a giggle. "right..." he said, confusion still in his voice. I just laughed again.

He looked at me with a certain look. One that I don't think he knew he was making. I couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. Jason's emotions were hard to decode. He was a very hard person to read. He also had a hard time expressing his emotions. Like I said, he's a confusing person.

"I think I might falling in love with you"

I froze when he said that. it was so sudden. I wasn't expecting it. It threw me for a loop. I looked at him keeping my smile but with a slightly more confused look. "...what...?" I said gently.

He looked at me with a simple but puzzled look, almost of longing. "I...I'm not very...good at...this" he said quietly looking at me with the same expression. "I...I don't know if Im doing this right or if this is even what I'm feeling but...yeah... I think I might be falling in love with you" he said with an expression of longing.

"it's just that, whenever I'm with you...I feel complete" he started speaking again. "your smile always makes me happy and your laugh somehow makes me the happiest I've ever been" he continued. I smiled at him wider.

I looked in his eyes with the same expression. "I think...I think I might feel the same way" I said gently as I laid my hand over his on the table. He smiled at me and I smiled at him. We sat in a comfortable silence, just enjoying each others presence until the pizza came. We started to eat and continued to talk miscellaneously, smiling abut what juts happened.

By the time we got back to the apartment Percy had texted Jason letting him know that Annabeth had fallen asleep and would be staying over. We stopped in front of the apartment door and smiled at each other.

"well uhm...I'll meet you at the library to study tomorrow? Same time?" I said cheerfully, looking up at him. "uh..yeah!... yeah that sounds- that sounds good" He said with the same tone, his cheeky smile warming my heart as always.

We stood in silence for a moment longer before I carefully approached him. I stood on my tiptoes and gently kissed his cheek. I pulled away and smiled while grabbing my bag from him and unlocking my door "goodnight, Jason..." I paused as I opened the door.

I looked at him again, he had blush across his face and a small grin. "Y'know...we could have our own movie night? Cause Annie is sleeping over at your place with Percy..." I said quietly, looking at him with a small smile, a gentle blush across my face.

He looked at me with the same loving expression. "yeah...yeah I'd like that" he said gently. He walked up to me in the doorway and we looked at each other lovingly. we both knew what we were thinking but we didn't have to say it.

he gently leaned down and kissed me, I kissed back and held his hands at his sides. Yeah...I think we might have fallen in love with each other.

Hiiiiii, again Im so sorry this took SO long to get out. I hope you like it!

[yangkitties]

cat and house ✩ y.jw

pairing: yang jungwon x gn!reader [established relationship] || word count: 0.6k genre: fluff || warnings: not entirely proof read, my beta reader is an idiot who focuses on the wrong details (ily bae but. 😭), talks of a serious and committed relationship synopsis: jungwon was bad at gifts. but this year he had a feeling even though he was being selfish with his present, he knew you were going to love it. note: can you tell i'm bad at endings-? anyways !! my first enhypen work 🫶 AND. this is a late birthday present for @daengnyangs <3 Cass!!! We haven’t known each other for long but. every time we've talked has been wonderful and fun and full of love <3 thank you for entertaining all my insane thoughts! I hope you keep doing what makes you happy forever <3 love you! 

Jungwon wasn’t the best with gifts. No matter who it was, he always felt like he came up short. But it was your birthday this time, and he couldn’t mess it up. 

Even after dating you for a full 2 years and 4 months, giving you gifts were still as hard as ever. But this time Jungwon had a gut feeling that this might just be it.

He knew you liked to keep your birthday simple, going about it as if it was a normal day. The day was a Friday, perfect for his plan. He had your schedule memorised. 

You had work until 1:30 and you’d get off at 1:45 and go for lunch with your family until around 4 and come back to the apartment you shared with your 2 other roommates by 4:30. 

Jungwon planned it all out. He had begged and pleaded your roommates for weeks for this. And finally made them crack 9 days earlier. 

He picked up the gift an hour and a half before seeing you at your apartment, and as he arrived he knew you weren’t back yet, eyes scanning around praying he doesn’t find your shoes. 

Using the key you guys kept under the soil of the potted plant, Jungwon let himself in, setting his perfect surprise up. 

And cue exactly as he planned, the jingling of your keys alerted him to hide your gift. 

‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!!!’ Jungwon yelled, startling you. 

Your now wide eyes take in the sight before you, Jungwon’s dimples adorning his face, eyes sparkling as he smiled. A small banner hung above his with the words ‘happy birthday’ and a beautiful flower bouquet rested inside a vase on the coffee table. But your eyes were glued to his face, Jungwon’s radiant smile more beautiful than anything. 

A giggle escapes your mouth, running over to hug him. 

‘Thank you Wonnie,’ you whispered into his chest. ‘That’s not all, come sit.’ Jungwon places you gently on the couch before disappearing into the kitchen. 

He comes back with his arms full. It takes you a second to realise that it was a kitten, a small calico with wide eyes. 

‘You… got me a cat? Won, I love you and I love cats, but you know I’m not allowed to have pets in this apartment.’ Your heart broke as you muttered those words, wishing you could just hide away this cute fur ball with you. 

‘I. Not exactly. Y/n. I love you. I love you so much, that if I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I’d have only 1, because you’re on my mind every single moment I breathe. I think about you when I wake up and when I go to sleep, and I wish I didn’t have to just think about you. I want to see you when I leave in the morning and when I come back from work. I want you to be the first and last person I see every single day.’ 

Your breath hitched, eyes glossing over as you waited for him to continue. His hands find yours, fingers intertwining. 

‘I found a good apartment with reasonable rent considering we both have stable jobs. I’m bad at gifts, but I think even if it’s selfish, this may just be the best gift. I hope you accept this cat and house… Y/n, will you move in with me?’ 

You squeeze his hands, tears starting to fall. ‘Oh my lovely Won… yes, yes I will.’ If it was even possible, Jungwon’s smile grew wider. His lips captured yours in a sweet kiss, a one that shows you truly how happy he was. 

‘I can’t wait to wake up with you by my side everyday my love.’ 

©️ yangkitties 2023 do not copy, plagiarise, or repost 

[quazart]

(Movie)Knuckles x (platonic!) Reader

A little fic I made on a whim, after discovering that echidnas had pouches.

The Pouch

You stared at the echidna. He stares back, confused by your expression.

"How long?"You ask, not even needing to finish your sentence for him to know what you meant.

"Uh, my entire life? Oh wait, no, apologies. When I was just growing out of my puggle years."

"So, at least, since we've known each other, you've had this?" 

He nods.

Let's rewind. 

You were asked by the Wachowski couple to watch over their sons for a day. Babysit basically. Of course you agreed. Honestly though,�� you'd really only need to look after Sonic. Knuckles, the elder of the three brothers, your best friend, was fairly mature for his age. Though, on rare occasions, he can be roped into mischief, almost always by Sonic.

The youngest of the three, Tails, would be going to work with Maddie. Leaving you three alone.

Tom was the first to leave, with Maddie right behind him. The sheriff hugged each of his sons and ruffling the hair on your head before waving goodbye, as he walked out the door. 

The veterinarian was giving you a quick run down on what the boys could and couldn't do. What they could and couldn't eat, etc.

Her final departing words being-

"By the way. Sonic is grounded again. Knuckles already hid his phone to keep him from finding and getting it again. If you see he's got it, just shoot me a text and I'll handle it through a call or when I get home." 

" Yes, ma'am."

You hear Sonic scoff somewhere behind you and  Knuckles.  

Maddie turns away and checks her purse for everything she'll need. "Alright, well I think that's it. Good luck."

You smile and wave bye as she shuts and locks the door behind her and Tails after the kit quickly hugged you and his siblings. Yelling out a goodbye before taking off toward the car in excitement. Ecstatic about joining his mother and visiting all the animals she cares for.

All three of you watching her as she pulls out of the driveway, and drives past the trees, out of sight. 

You and Knuckles turn around but pause as you're suddenly face to face with a certain smug looking hedgehog.

He rocked back and forth on his feet in front of Knuckles. The echidna already knowing what he's planning, gives him an unamused expression. 

"So Big Red? Mind giving me a hint?"

The echidna frowns with a , "No.", and walks away, with you right beside him.

Sonic grabs his arm, trying to stop him, but Knux just keeps on walking, not caring at all. The hedgehog letting himself be dragged by his brother.

"Oh come on, be a pal!" 

Knuckles waves him off and lays back on the couch beside you. His own phone in hand.

"No. I do not want to be your pal. I am already your brother."

"Ugh!"

He suddenly pauses and turns to you. Big puppy dog eyes at their strongest. 

You take the remote in hand and begin flipping through channels on the t.v. 

"Yeah, I don't think so blue."

"But why? Look, how about five minutes?! Just five, I swear."

You and Knux look at each other, with bored expressions on your faces, then back to your electronics.

Both of you answering, "Nah.", at the same time.

Sonic growls in frustration, but then pulls out the big guns. He takes a deep breath and opens his big mouth.

Ten minutes later of on and on chatter, you and Knux were losing your patience with the blue blur.

Knux is the one to finally give in.

"ALRIGHT!!!" He bursts, partially sitting himself up on his elbows.

You sigh and watch the hedgehog smile, thinking he'd won.

You sigh at the nuisance," Oh my gosh! You can be so annoying!"

He smirks,"Hah, well this annoying hedgehog is about to get his phone back-"

Knuckles sits up all the way, interrupting his brother.

"Not so fast. You can have your device back IF, you can find it within the next two minutes.  You may have it back and we will not say a word to mother. You would just need to give it back before anyone arrives home."

Sonic salutes and gets into running position." When you're ready captain!"

Knuckles lays back down and looks at his phone's clock, "I am not a captain. Go."

One minute and thirty seconds later and he's turned the house upside down, with no sign of his phone. 

'Where is it?!.. Wait!!'

He runs to you and snags your phone, quickly dialing his number and calling it.

You quickly lean towards,  "Hey!" But he holds up a finger, signaling you to wait.

You huff and cross your arms.

Knuckles smiles as he watches the clock. Ten seconds left, then he'll have peace and quiet.

"You will not hear it. Mother turned off its volume for this exact reason." He warns, but what he didn't know, was that Maddie had left it on vibrate.

A faint buzzing noise sounds off and Sonic scrambles around for the device, with no sign of it. 

You're confused. It sounds like it's right beside you, but where?

You look at Knux to see him clench his jaw, and lean forward a bit. Only noticable to you, since you were paying attention and sitting right next to him.

He bites his lip and stares towards Sonic's hand. The one holding your phone and suddenly crosses his arms tightly against himself.

'What is up with him?'

Sonic finally notices with five seconds left. The buzzing was coming from, 'his brother?!'

"What the heck Knux! You ate my phone?!"

Your eyebrows raise, and you look at your friend.

Who's trying to keep a straight face like someone just told him the funniest joke or something. Arms tightened against his stomach. 

"Don't be ridiculous." He manages to say through his giggling.

You don't know why he's fighting a laugh, but the sounds he's making make you smile and start to laugh too. He rarely ever laughed, let alone giggle. So his sudden giggles really hit your funny bone. 

"Why are you laughing?" He asks.

"Huh? Well, why are you laughing?"

The phone stops calling, going to voicemail and Knuckles sigh in relief.

He looks toward his brother and grins. "Looks like you lose, hedgehog."

Sonic groans, frustrated by his defeat. He gently tosses the phone beside you on the couch.

"Well how's that fair! How am I supposed to get it from inside your gut!"

Knux scoffs, " It is not inside me. Of all the foolish-."

This time you call Sonic's phone. The vibrating starts again, making Knuckles sit up with a grunt, and catches himself before a chuckle could escape him.

You and Sonic look at each other, then back to your friend.

That's when Knuckles finally shows you guys. 

He removes his arms from his stomach and raises a hand over it, before reaching into-?! He had a hidden pocket on his stomach?!

Bringing his hand back out, he'd retrieved Sonic's phone, holding it infront of him with a smirk.

Both you and Sonic stared at the phone, then to Knuckles' stomach, where the pouch hid very well because of his fur. 

Knuckles face contorted into one of confusion.

"What?"

And now were back to the present.

"You've had this and you didn't think to tell me!" You grabbed his shoulders and shook him a bit.

"Why would I?! I do not see how having a pouch would be so important as to inform you about it." He said between shakes.

"Dude, this is awsome, you have a body pocket! How is that not important information! What else can you do, or have!"

His mouth is agape still confused by your sudden interest in him because of something as simple as a pouch. A blush covers his muzzle.

"Uh..."

With this distraction, Sonic swipes his phone from the echidna's grip and takes off with a maniacal laugh.

"Haha, sucker! Catch me if you can!"

Knuckles instantly breaks out of his stupor and takes off after him.

"Sonic!!!"

Leaving you thinking of all the awsome and helpful uses he could use his pouch for. He was like a little kangaroo!

You hear something get knocked over and you suddenly remember why you're here.

To watch the brothers so nobody gets hurt and nothing gets damaged. But now that you think about it, even if you tried, you doubt you'd be able to catch up to them. Or have the strength to pull them apart if you could!

Then you have an idea.

"Ha, what was that knucklehead?"

"Why you foul-!"

(*beeeeeeeep* *beeeeeeeep*-)

They both freeze where they are, the sound of somebody calling on their phone with the speaker on. And, as soon as the voice on the other side answers, the boys are suddenly back on the couch. Knuckles holding Sonic's phone and shoving it back in his pouch.

A few seconds before. 

"Hey, (y/n) , how's everything. The boys giving you trouble?" 

Before you could answer, stumbling and grunts echo in the house, getting louder til your two friends are on either side of you, silent. Gazing ahead at the t.v. with blank expressions. You catch Knuckles shoving Sonic's phone back into his pouch. 

"No. No, everything's fine. Just checking up with you, is all. "

"Oh, well thanks hun...And boys?" Her voice grew scary as she addressed the brothers. They both stiffen, knowing she knew they'd done something they shouldn't have. 

"Behave."

"Yes, mom!"

"Yes, mother!"

You say bye to Maddie and hang up.

Your friends glance at you, but quickly are back to the screen when you notice. 

"That wasn't fair. " Sonic pouts.

You shrug." Life's not fair. And besides, how fair do your powers make it for me to babysit you two?"

He grumbles and crosses his arms. 

You look back at your best friend, who was currently laying back on the couch again. Having relaxed since your call to his mom. You pick up where you left off.

Leaning back and holding your head in one hand.

"So?"

He blinks and looks at you, "So...what?"

"What other secrets have you been hiding from me?"

He sits up on his elbows and squints at you, "Why do you insist, so much, in learning about me?"

You shrug, " It's just interesting, and cool. What's the harm in wanting to learn more about my best friend?"

He hums," Nothing, I suppose. And we are friends afterall.. Alright."

"Yes!"

He lays back down and rests his head in his folded arms, behind him.

"First of all, it is called a pouch, not a pocket, as you mentioned before. Its original purpose is to hold and incubate a puggle before and after hatching. For however long their parents can hold their weight, until their spines had almost fully grown in or until they can walk on their own-"

"Wait, wait, wait. Hatching? You came from an egg?" Sonic had interrupted his brother,  honestly surprised by this fact. 

"Of course I hatched, what other way is there?"

The hedgehog turns red, and looks to you for help.

You awkwardly cough into your hand and pat Knux on his arm. "I'll ask Maddie to tell you later. Please, continue. "

"Hmm. Anyways, as far as I can remember,  I don't recall a pouch ever being used for anything else, as it feels strange carrying things in it. I had never used it before, until recently. When mother asked of me to hide his phone." He points at Sonic.

"But he kept finding it, no matter where I hid it. So I gave in and just put in there."

You both look over at the hedgehog again. Who was trying to look innocent.

"For a time, it worked. I've done this several times before and mother had seen me, and did not react. Which is why I was so confused by your surprise to it. "

"Well, you are very animal like, at least compared to humans. And she is a veterinarian, so."

He nods," Perhaps. In any case, just like those previous times, I figured hiding it in the same place would work. What I did not account for was the phone moving about while there."

He held his hand ontop of his pouch. Remembering the strange sensations the phone gave when it moved. It was.. strange, to say the least.

"Oh yeah, what happened with that? Your face looked pretty funny while Sonic was calling his phone."

He removed the phone from his pouch, but this time holding in a slightly tighter grip than earlier, incase Sonic got any ideas, and turned it over in his hand.

"I..do not know. I'd never felt anything like it. I'm not sure what it was."

"Hmm, well, try to explain what it felt like? And I'll see what I can do to figure it out."

He looks at you, then past you, where you knew Sonic was sitting a minute ago. The hedgehog had grown bored and left to the kitchen to make a snack.

"It felt like the buzzing of the device. But.. different. And it made me want to smile..and laugh. Strange isn't it? Like magic."

Your peaceful smile slowly grows into one with playfully malicious intent.

Knuckles frowns." What is with that expression?"

"Oh, nothing. I just think I know what it is."

He raises a brow."You do?"

"Yup, but I'll need to test my theory. Do you mind?"

He is hesitant, but shrugs and watches you reach over and poke around his sides. He twitched a bit and huffed at the feeling, but no smile or laugh.

"Does that feel like earlier?"

"A bit, but not as strong. It's actually rather annoying this wa-AaY!!"

You launched an attack on the poor echidna. Your fingers skittering across his sides and belly, making him grunt at first, but eventually succumbing, forcing high guffaws that evolved into laughter and giggles. You'd grown so used to Knuckles deep voice, but hearing the higher pitched he'd somehow reached, made you smile wide and laugh along with him.

Sonic had been surprised by his brother's outburst, recognizing his voice making all that noise. What he was not expecting, was the reason for it.

A smug grin widens across his face. " He's ticklish!!"

You continue your assault, giggling all the while.

"I guess so!"

Knuckles did not respond. Too preoccupied with trying to catch his breath, his face feeling hot. He should feel humiliated for his actions, but seeing your face and that of his brother, with playful smiles and laughing along with him, pushed those thoughts away.

Besides, he didn't know if he could say anything if he tried. His own laughter taking up whatever breath he could draw in. 

Why did something as simple as touch reduce him to a giggly puggle. 

"Ok, I think that's enough for now." You said in between your laughing.

 His hands covered his stomach as soon as your fingers left. He was trying to catch his breath again, a stupidly silly smile on his face. Leftover laughter fading to giggles as he calms down. 

" That is called tickling, and you my friend are very ticklish, apparently."

"Haha, eh, good, aheh, good to kno-how."

Sonic rubbed his hands together,"Oho ho! Now this is interesting. I could definitely use this next time you hide my phone."

You could hear the gears in his brain already forming plots against his brother.

You look back to Knuckles, with a smirk.

" Sonic is ticklish too."

"Ah! Why would you tell him that!" He cried.

"Eh, just keeping things fair."

A couple hours pass, with you three hanging around the t.v. You were just putting on another movie when you heard the sound of a car rolling up the driveway.

You press pause and get up, along with your friends, to greet whoever was home.

The door unlocks and it's Maddie and Tails.

Tails greets his brothers then you, giving you all another round of hugs, while Maddie walks past, smiling and giving you all a pat or kiss on the head.

"Hey, guys. So how was it? Anything crazy happen or broken things I should know about?"

She's facing away from you guys, not able to see the pointed and worried looks your friends were giving you. A certain blue hedgehog in particular.

"Nope. Everything went well. I even learned something very interesting from today." 

Now it was Knuckles turn to look nervous, and he didn't even know why. 

"Knuckles is part kangaroo." You grin his way, to see your offended friend scrunch his nose and scoff, indignantly.

"I am not. I am one hundred percent echidna. Only echidna blood runs through these veins."

As if purposely ignoring him, Maddie smile at you.

"Why? Did he show you his cute little pouch?"

Knux crosses his arms and looks away from you both, with a huffy," Mother, please."

"Yup. And that's not all." You whisper that last part, walking up behind Knuckles. He barely has a second to turn and see you there before you tackle him down into a cackling mess.

"Wait, no!!-"

"Too late!"

Maddie leans against the wall, watching and laughing along with you two. Tails, hearing the commotion, peeps around the corner, with Sonic right behind him, and sees you ontop of the toppled Knuckles.  

The poor echidna is suddenly saved by the bell. Or in this case, a knock on the door. 

You pause, giving the echidna a chance to breath again, while Sonic goes and opens the door. The sheriff has arrived, and is immediately baffled by the scene before him. 

A wheezing Knuckles with a funny smile and glare directed towards you. Meanwhile,  you're sitting beside him. An oblivious look on your face as you stare off to the side.

Tom blinks for second, then asks, "Uh, what's goin on here?"

Maddie smiles, "(Y/n) was just teaching me something new she learned about our little echidna here."

Tom smirks," And that would be?"

You grin madly and look back to your victim.

"Allow me to demonstrate."

You wiggle your fingers, hovering your hands just above him, making him already unwillingly snicker, knowing what was to come. 

"No, please, mercy!"

"There is no mercy in this house!" 

"No-hOhoHOoO!!!"

Boisterous laughs and chortles fill the air as you show the echidna's father what you'd learned. His family joining in on the laughter at the sight of their more stoic of their family members being reduced to a giggling puddle under you.

"You- eheh, are cruel." His only understandable response amongst his leftover chortles.

Knux doesn't even retaliate or defend himself.  Not daring to move, for fear of lashing out and hurting you. His fists glued to the ground, by sheer will power. A power slowly waning as your assault grows stronger.

You finally let him go when it looks like he's having a hard time holding back and catching a breath. Even afterwards, a string of giggles continues to leave him. The sensation of your tickling still affecting him, even after you'd stopped. 

You give him a sweet little innocent smile."I try."

[somethingchanged244]

thoughts on the game, I suppose. thoughts nobody will read but were cathartic to write down - an attempt to put things into perspective

okay. we weren't great. but we also did this having played 18 games so far this year. they've played 12. 

we've had god knows how many injuries, and god knows how many players out there were only recently back. 

so many of the young players we all trust, but they've not got the years' worth of experience of playing at the loud, hostile away ground waiting for you at old trafford. 

this is routinely the biggest game in world football - we put out a team including players who were exhausted, still coming back off lengthy injuries, and inexperienced in the fixture.

it wasn’t great. mistakes were made, chances were missed, and I'm devastated. for us fans, for the players, and for klopp most of all.

but we need to remember just how we even made it this far. 

the 3rd round against arsenal? nobody thought we'd win - klopp brought on the youngsters and we thought he'd decided to throw the game, but no, we won it. 

the 4th round against norwich was the first game after klopp's announcement - the pressure was truly on, because as fans we wouldn't have taken anything but a win. the eyes of the entire football media were on that match. it was a must-win.

the 5th round against southampton? there's a reason they played 'the kids are alright' before the game. and at half time. and after. the goals were scored by 18 year olds. in my eyes, they're still children. that we managed to perform in that manner was phenomenal. 

and now tonight. the quarter finals. they had a week to prepare; we had friday and saturday. they were at home; we weren't. they got 4 goals in the net; we got 3. 

it's cruel and I'm devastated, but with our injury crisis, with the fixture congestion of having played on four fronts for so long, nobody is to blame. klopp always says that the english game is geared against teams challenging for the quadruple, and he's right.

imagine if we'd had a week to prepare too? we might have had konate back. salah might have been ready to play the full 90. but no.

the fact we were on for the quadruple for so, so long is a testament to how amazing this team is. 

I'm so upset we can't send klopp to wembley one last time. I was sat crying in front of the tv and wanting to yell at the utd fans to shut up and stop celebrating. 

but ultimately, it's happened. we've been knocked out. it wasn't a great performance, but we had entirely valid reasons for it to not be one. 

now we can focus on the league, on europe. we've got two more titles to win, so let's fucking win them.

[mario8th]

All Hail Our New Short King

Hunter X Hunter Chimera Ant Arc Episodes 89-92

Wholly Cow. Jeezus Christ. My Goodness Gracious. Heck, Man.

Ants. ANTS!

This batch started out a bit slow. I do think, pacing wise, 89 should've been included in the previous batch. But Does It Even Matter? I audibly said "No" when I realized I was at the end of 92. Because the ride I was just on was EXHILARATINGGGGGG

I'm sitting here, Amazed, at what this show just did. What this show is SEtting Up! How did 3 (technically 4) episodes have That Much Payoff! And still set up the next, I dunno 40 or so, episodes SO WELL?

Yeah, the fights were neat. It's fun to get characterization from Knuckle and Shoot(?) (doesn't matter if I remember their names they will Not be alive after the next batch), and bringing their neat Nen tricks was fun enough.

I should add, I'm pretty sure that at some point a few years ago, one Austin Walker posted on twitter part of the final Knuckle fight? I think? I've gone into this series almost completely blind, but I did watch at least part of that.

Okay I found it https://x.com/austin_walker/status/1554557950554939392 And it is so much funnier now that I've got context. I definitely watched this, but at the very least I didn't remember what Knuckle even looked like by the time I started watching. So. I guess take this year+ long experiment with a grain of salt knowing that I watched that over 2 years ago.

Anyway the reveal of who won was really good too, although we've yet to see how discount Sadako will respond.

ANYWAY ANTS. I cheered when we finally cut back to the Ants because I am adoring what they're doing with this part of the story. I am gripped in a way no other part of the series has managed thus far. Interesting to hear that some people dropped off during the Ants, because truly this is the show at its best for me.

It is amazing to see how the politics have shifted with the arrival of our new Short King. He is Amazing. I hate him! I cannot wait to see what happens! Like, it is amazing that, at the top of 89 we all agreed the Queen should die. But by the end of 92 we're sad that she did! And now the ants are spreading like…. ants…

I love Gon and [bubble gum girl]'s foolish belief that Kite is still around (in the way they remember). And she definitely signed her (and probably the other two in the driver's seat's) death warrants by giving her sad backstory. Why'd you ask her that Killua? Probably that fast one, huh!

My God This Show. I can't wait to see what Short King does. I cannot wait to see what Colt and That Wild Thing That Happened gets up to. I cannot wait to see this next Knuckle Shoot fight. Who is Netero going after? How will Killua protect Gon? Will he really leave!? I want all these answers! I want them soon! I'll get them in about 2 weeks! Or at least some of them! aaaah!

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[amiramorozova]

Best Friends to Eternal Lovers - Wedding

Amira's pov: 

Aleks comforted me and I was glad that for once I'd won against Baghra knowing this was not going to be easy. The fete was still going on but I didn't want to go back and seemed he didn't either as he kissed me. Kissing him back as I knew we were soulmates and that was the part that Baghra seemed to not understand. 

When Aleksander pulled away he put a hand on my cheek as he knew the hardships we had to go through to get here...four hundred years of finding each other and losing each other..it was undeniably a hard time for the two of us and now I just wanted our life. "We should have ran.." I said as I knew we'd talked about it..tears fell from my eyes of all the pain inside I'd ignored. Aleks looked at me as he kept his hand on my cheek and wiped my tears away. "I wouldn't be as strong as I am now to protect you..to give you the life you deserve Amira. You are stronger than once were back then.. We'd have always been on the run..moving place to place. Never truly being ourselves." Aleksander said

I knew he was right but that didn't change how I felt as he smiled kissing my forehead as he calmed me down. "But things would be different..the fold would have never become a thing..and Grisha.." I stopped knowing Grisha would not be as important as they are now. "Grisha have a better purpose now than they did back then, but you..you would not have had to gone to extreme lengths i-" he cut me off with a kiss surprising me knowing that it was clear on one thing as I kissed him back. 

Aleks pulled away as he looked into my eyes, his dark ones pulling me in like a distraction that I wanted. "You did not need to be there..You could have been killed. Things would not have changed and we have to keep moving forward. Focus on the importance of the wedding." He said as I smiled. I knew the truth of the fact that he'd lost the girl, his healer that day but he was always meant to reunite with me as I nod. 

For the next two months we were finishing up plans, the king had become involved to give us the ballroom to have for the wedding though it was a small private affair but 2nd army was not small in any way so it worked. Last we decided on was the cake which we'd tried and I was glad that we could all agree..

So you can imagine the night before I hardly slept, this day I'd wanted for so long had finally come the next morning. All the things I needed was in the room and we'd agreed to have the youngest Prince and Anna there as Aleks insisted with the King having Nikolai under his care. I didn't mind, the two seemed to be getting along fine. Sometime I fell asleep that in the morning I got myself ready.

Everything in me wanted to run out and see him, hug him but this was our wedding day. I heard a knock on my door and I walked to it but stopped sensing his shadows. "Aleks.." I said as he must have been struggling too. "Four hundred years...that's how long we've waited for this day..and soon it'll be official." Aleksander said as I knew he was right and smiled. "Just a little longer..my love." I said 

When he walked away I smiled and soon it was time, my dad walked me down the aisle and my family was present. Since my colors were kept secret it didn't matter what I was as people gasped at me. "my she does look beautiful." One of the guests said as I was grisha but I looked the part of the bride. 

Making it to Aleks my dad let him have my hand as we both smiled a little before looking at the priest who married us. We changed one of the lines from till death do us part to live our lives together as long as we both shall live. The priest looked at me first "Amira Silina, do you take General Kirigan as your husband?" He asked as I smiled "I do" I said as I would always. When he turned to Aleks before he asked Aleksander answered. "I do." He said as we exchanged rings and the priest announced us as husband and wife as we kissed. 

At the little after party the king set up the wedding cake was shown and we were to feed each other cake which we did. Only we did with forks as we didn't want to ruin what the other was wearing. I loved it and then I noticed Baghra in the crowd despite everything and the horror and bad she'd put me through the fact she came amazed me. 

it's official...I'm Amira Morozova now..to the people here Amira Kirigan. I thought but either way I was happy about it 

TagList: @lifeisingrey​,  @houseoftoomanyfandoms​, @mizelophsun11​, @budugu​ ,   @wheresthesunshinesblog  0

[crymeariveronceagain]

Any theories on how the kotlc series will end?

Quite a few, actually.

Some of these are going to be a writer talking about a writer's stylistic choices, and some of them are going to be a fan talking about the content creator's possibilities.

The Coward's Way Out(I would not put it past Shannon to do this): It was all a dream. Everything was a dream. Sophie got hit by that car and has been in the hospital since, in a coma for the past four years. None of it was real.

The Unsatisfactory Ending: Nothing is tied up well at all. All the villains live, the council is still full of jerks. Sophie's still having a mental crisis. Keefe is still off being an idiot. But hey, at least the plot is... sort of done. There's going to be a sequel series, though. It's going to be twice as long. Maybe Sophie and Fitz are dating again at the end, but none of their pressing problems have been solved.

The Boss Battle Ending: Everything culminates in one last battle. Everything ends here. This is usually what I go for when I write stuff that takes place within canon that hasn't been dealt with by Shannon yet. Like, it all gets tied neatly with a bow. A bunch of people are dead, possibly some of our faves, some adults, all the Neverseen officials, etc. Everything is done, over, and will never be resurfaced. Because the war has been won on a battlefield.

The Annoying Ending: So idk if anyone's read The Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard. If you have, you remember how the last book was just endless discussions of war and politics and Mare going back and forth between hating and loving Cal? Yeah. Imagine that, but it's the council and Sophie and Keefe. Because it's just exhausting and endless. And by the time you get to the end of the book, all you've got is a girl with some earrings and some emotional damage and a life that's in ruins and a guy that's somehow still waiting for her despite how it would be better-- Okay. I'm sorry. But a long drawn out war discussion would be really annoying. Gimme action or gimme death.

The Feel Good Ending: This is literally just going to be found family good vibes. The comfort we've all been wanting, craving, needing. They're chilling or eating dinner or laughing or talking or just being whole again. The world is done trying to hurt them. They're finally free from the chains of being the saviors of the world, and they're finally allowed to be kids again. They'll be okay. It's finally, really, truly going to be okay.

The Sokeefe Ending: It ends with a Sokeefe confession/kiss. That's honestly all I want in this world. I want it to end with them kissing in the rain. I want it. So bad. Please. And if I could get a hunger-games-esque flash forward I would cry. Thank.

The Twist Ending: Some key piece of information is revealed at the last moment. Something important, something needed. And, just like that, all the stakes change. All the weapons shift. The entire stance of the book is altered. Now, loyalties have varied. Sides have shifted. People are having breakdowns. How do you keep going? Some of them won't. Some of them have to. Who's going to be able to make it out alive? No one knows until you get to the last page, staring at the book that has held so much of your life, and whispering, softly, "what the fuckkkk"

The Memory Loss/Lazy Writer Ending: Basically any cheap wrap-up tactic that sets up another series. Memory erasing, mysterious illness, the Neverseen destroying themselves, blah blah blah. Something cheap and quick and easily swallowed by editors so they let you take the next year off before starting the sequel series.

Happily Ever After: Everything. Is. Done. Everything is finished, all the plot points are dealt with. Every character gets a satisfying ending, from Tam getting hugs and Keefe coming home to Sophie getting to sleep at night again and Dex getting page time to Stina getting character growth and Biana dying her hair purple. Everything solved, everything finished, you sit, softly, holding the book, and feel like everything has come to an end. Everything is done. And you're not sad. You're happy. Because the characters are happy. The void in your chest is filled, knowing that they went where they needed to go.

Sad ending: All your darlings are dead. Never coming back. Everything hurts. I'm not even going to say what could happen here. But everyone could die. I'm talking Divergent levels of character death. Like, sweet and holy stars dEATH. Like, all the death you'd never want and more. And who's left crying at the end? Who watches the world burn? Who's sobbing as everything they loved is taken? Who won the war, but lost everything else? Is it Sophie? Is it Fitz? Is it Keefe? Is it Linh? Tam? Wylie? Teirgan? Forkle? Gisela? Who is left? And why are they crying?

but yeah these are just a few theories i have for how it's going to go. :DD hope they are satisfactory!

[kimhargreeves]

A Small Touch-Druig x Reader

Summary:You're one of the Eternals. After Thanos has been defeated you and you're family have to reunite after so many years, that also means seeing Druig again. But things won't be so easy for you since you both left things behind centuries ago when you harmed him.

(A/N: I actually wrote this before Eternals came out in theaters, so I'm not too fond of how I wrote now that I read it but oh well. I had to made a few adjustments since I just arrived from watching the movie and sorta based on Druig at first from the comics. Druig is definitely best boy and the most adorable of the team. I'm glad to see Barry Keoghan getting the recognition he deserves. There's minor spoilers! Nothing too major and certain people are alive.)

"We should grab something to eat! Catch up with everything you've missed out!"

"I really missed seeing you."

"Was this store here when I was around?"

I sat on top of a building and stared down at the crowds of people passing by minding their own business and looking around in wonder at being back. I smiled and stared down at them fascinated.

A recent disaster happened not long ago, there was a snap. Thanos won and wiped out half of humanity on Earth, The Avengers defeated the mad Titan but lost three brave heroes. I wanted to badly to join them, but we were forbidden to interfere.

We are The Eternals. We've lived for centuries, watching humanity first rise and staying back hidden from them. Our only job has been to keep a close eye on them and make sure nothing happens, everything must stay in line.

The reason why we couldn't join the Avengers has been a mystery to me. I don't have much contact with half of our team, the only ones I've spoken to are Ajak and Thena. They had to keep me still from going out and joining the Avengers.

There's quite a few of us around Earth. Thena and Ajak as I mentioned. Sersi, Ikaris, Gilgamesh, Sprite, Kingo, Phastos, Makkari and Druig.

We were all rather close but went on our separate ways. I of course blended in with the humans like the rest and had many careers in my life. From a teacher, to a comicbook writer, producer and so on. I decided to live mostly by myself for these last few centuries.

But these past few days I've felt something, like we're in danger. I got on my feet and carefully started walking above the roof and jumped down to the ground when no one was looking and began walking down the streets.

I adjusted my clothes and gloves and held onto my backpack and was off to find Ajak again. She'll know what it is that's happening. I do hope I am not mistaken.

*********

After many long hours on bus, I finally made it to Ajak's home. She was waiting for me outside. "You're the first to come." Is the first thing she says after looking at my tired face.

"It's been a long time since I've used my powers. Flight would've been nice to have." I say feeling jealous of Ikaris's powers.

Ajak looked over at me and smiled. "It's good to see you again. Come."

I followed into her home and tossed my backpack aside and stuffed my hands into my pockets. "Something's coming, (Y/N). I knew you could sense it."

I stayed quiet and stared at her when she came over and offered me a drink. "It's the Deviants."

I look at her surprised, hoping she's joking.

"The Deviants? You're kidding right?" I look at Ajak and see her giving me a serious look. "I am sure, (Y/N). It's time for a family reunion."

"I guess you're right. The Avengers are out for now, they are no match for the Deviants. Guess we need to kick some ass then."

Ajak gives me a smirk. "You what this means right?"

I shrug my shoulders, "That I need to start my training again."

Ajak shakes her head to the side. "We don't have much time left, I already contacted half of us. We'll go and search for the others. You are assigned to bring, Druig."

I frown and began to complain, "Seriously? Why him? We've never gotten along." I was starting to sound like a teenager.

There's no way I'm heading out to find him. He's the one who lives far away and he's an asshole. "You'll leave in an hour to bring him back." Was all that Ajak said and gave me a meal before I'd leave.

************

We made it to the Amazon. We walked through the many trees and arrived at a village, everyone here is being mind controlled. "Dime dónde está Druig." I spoke clearly to one of the villagers.

"(Y/N). Didn't expect to see you or the rest." I looked back and saw Druig coming out of his small home. I took in a breath I didn't know I was holding and put on a fake smile.

"Druig.. It's so nice to see you again." I could see that he's holding himself from saying something.

It's been so long since I've last seen him. How's it going and taller? More handsome? Quit it! I'm just here to save our planet and then I'm gone. "I see you are still controlling them like puppets." Once again I open my big mouth said something I would later regret.

"And this is why I left." I hear him say to himself but he no longer gets angry about it like he did at first many centuries ago.

For some reason seeing him again made me feel horrible. he was the first one of the Eternals to leave because of the humans starting up fights and him not being able to control them. We didn't always agree on things.

I can see why he left and I don't blame him, but without imperfections then what are we? I long for peace as much as he does but we can't control them.

"Ajak sent you all didn't she?"

"You aren't wrong..You look good." I struggled say those words but I knew I had to be strong and put my past feelings aside.

Druig stayed silent and continued having his hands behind his back. "You do too." He muttered lowly and gave me a small smirk.

**************

The rest of the Eternals and I were finally gathered. Everyone began to joke and talk about what heck they have done for the last couple of years, I continued to stay silent and continued glaring at Druig who was having a drink and smiling at Makkari who was sitting by his side.

"Hey, why the pouty face?"

I crossed my arms over chest and tried to ignore one of my siblings who began to tease me. "Leave me alone."

I bitterly tried to tell Kingo but knew he'd continue to tease me. "It's been so long since I last saw you and you still have that grouchy attitude."

"I'm not grouchy!" I hissed and saw him laughing and trying to grab me so he'd continue making fun of me.

"Leave them alone." Ajak smiled sincerely. I looked to my right and saw Druig making hand signs to Makkari explaining to her what was happening.

"Don't tell me you're still jealous." Kingo whispered to me. I tried swattinh him away and glared again.

"I think (Y/N) still is." Gilgamesh agreed drinking a glass of beer.

"I thought you were outside. When did you get back?" I ask since I swear he wasn't with us a minute ago.

"We were talking outside. Aren't you going to touch your dinner?" Phastos asked since he saw I had only eaten half of what was on my plate.

I grab the plate and push it away from me. "I've lost my appetite, I'll be outside." Without waiting to be questioned I decided to hurry and leave. I took a deep breath and felt at peace, it's too much for me.

Everyone is suddenly back and I no longer know how to act. It's one of the few reasons I distanced myself from them, I've never been good with words of opening up to myself. The first one who was open to me and showed their kindness was Druig.

I sat down on the wooden floor and looked outside at the dark sky, it's was dark yet very beautiful with tints of dark blue mixed with purple and the stars were brighter than usual. I hugged myself when I felt the cold breeze.

The door behind me opened so I glanced back and frowned to myself when I saw Druig standing by the door with his hands inside his pockets.

He said nothing until he reached to where I was and quickly sat down but remained a few inches away from me. "How've you been?"

Druig finally spoke to me since we had been avoiding each other, or more like I was the one avoiding him.

I glanced at him and our eyes met for a short moment. "Fine I guess."

He sighed and also looked up at the sky. "It's beautiful isn't it?" I hummed to myself and looked back up. It sure is.

I remained hugging myself and took another look at him and realized he had been looking at me. I felt my chest tighten. "There's no need to hide from me how you are feeling. Didn't take you for the jealous type either."

Now this made me blush. He chuckled when he saw my unexpected reaction which I poorly tried to hide. "W-Who would I be jealous, huh? You're just saying stupid things."

I tried to defend myself but unfortunately Druig knew too much about me, even after centuries of being apart, he still reads me like a book and knows me so well.

"Makkari. I've seen the way you look at her." He smirked just a little bit decided not to joke too much on it.

"You two are awfully close, huh? Congrats then." I shrug trying to play things off like I don't care. He does seem happy with her, they always look at one another and share smiles and hugs.

Hmm I don't remember the two of us being like that, honestly, it's been so long that I really don't remember much on the time we spent together. "It just feels weird, being with all of you."

"I know the feeling.. It's why we all took our own paths. Here." Druig began to move. I held my hands up ready to hit him if he were to do anything, instead he reached the jacket he had on and placed it on me.

It was warm. "You're shivering you might catch a cold." I held onto the fabric and felt my cheeks burning.

Druig smiles when he sees me holding onto his jacket, "Do you remember our first date?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "Not to be meaner than I already am, but I don't remember much."

"I figured." Druig spoke and frowned a bit. He smiled again and his blue eyes met mine. "Want to know what was the first thought I had when I first saw you?"

What was it? It never occurred to me that.

"How could a person be created to be so beautiful." That did it for me. My heart began to beat faster and I was thankful it was nighttime because I felt my entire face turning red.

"You haven't always been this mean, (Y/N). It only happened because of when you harmed me."

There's no need to remind me of it. I feel horrible. I looked at my glove covered hands. I don't remember for how long I've been covering my hands, whenever I touch someone they get hurt because of me.

"Hey, (Y/N). You can trust me I know that you can't harm me." I gasped when I realized how close he had gotten to me.

Druig held his hand out for me grab. "You won't harm me." He whispered. My hand began to shake, Druig pulled away quick before we could touch hands.

"The glove has to come off."

"But what if I-" I was about to complain some more but sighed. He's right. I got to trust him. I harmed him back in the day but I won't anymore. Depending on how I feel is how powerful I can get.

I took my glove off and very slowly and carefully tried to place my hand on Druig's. His pale hand reached to grab mine and nothing happened, my hands can have extreme electricity and I was surprised that nothing happened.

My eyes began to get a bit blurry, I couldn't stop smiling. It's been so long since I've touched someone without harming them

"See? You were just worked up back in the day. I do wish you would smile some more, I loved seeing you like this everyday."

Druig's words were only making me blush even more. I kept calm because I didn't want my powers to suddenly activate and hurt him again. I was still unsure on doing this, Druig instead kept on holding my hand.

"I did miss you living with me." He reminds me. I wasn't fond of him leaving and controlling humans to not fight or make war, but I did leave with him back then.

We lived so happy together despite our arguments every now and then. "I missed you ya know?" I spotted him smiling again.

"Quit saying those things." I teased back. He was after all the most romantic one back then. "Wouldn't you like for things to be the way they were?"

I smile and reached over and placed my other hand on top of his and looked into his eyes. "I would love that very much." This time instead of holding his hands I wrapped my arms around him and felt him hugging me back tightly.

"Just don't ever be afraid of using your powers, okay?" Druig pulled away and wiped my tears. I nodded my head and smiled again. I'll do my best to make him proud of me again.

[helloalycia]

the better sister-in-law [one] // alycia debnam-carey

summary: you and alycia are going to become sister-in-laws and begin to get a little competitive over who the better one is, but of course, you may or may not start to think of her as much more

warning/s: none.

author's note: i feel so bad because i totally went MIA for the past few months and i feel like i let down so many people with requests and stuff, but honestly my life has been a shambles and is only just starting to make sense again (perks of finishing uni and having no idea what to do next guys!), but yeah.

This idea of alycia and reader competing to be the better sister-in-law was requested a long time ago, on here i think, so here it finally is! i don't even know what i'm working on next (kinda dabbling between stuff) but yeah, i hope you all like p.1 of 3 :)

two | three | wattpad | masterlist

"Look, all I'm saying is that this is the first time we're meeting and she's already late... sounds like I've got this sister-in-law thing in the bag."

My sister, Y/S/N, and her fiancé, Angus, both looked to me with disapproving (but definitely amused) stares, after I spoke with a grin on my lips.

"How many times do we have to tell you that this isn't a competition?" Y/S/N reminded with a quirked brow.

I shrugged indifferently. "I know it isn't. Because I've already won."

Y/S/N sighed with defeat as Angus held in a laugh. They were newly engaged and tonight, I was to meet Angus' older sister, Alycia, for the first time. She was Australian, like him, and lived here in L.A., working as an actress.

Though my sister and him had been together for two years now, I'd never actually met his sister because she was always busy working and away filming for different stuff. Plus, I'd never figured I'd need to meet her. But then they got engaged and since we were to become a family, it only made sense.

"Just remember to be nice, yeah?" Y/S/N asked with a pleading expression, as Angus answered his ringing phone. "She's actually really sweet. And she's looking forward to meeting you."

"Because I'm awesome, duh," I said obviously, before chuckling when her expression became desperate. "Relax, Y/S/N. You know I'm always nice."

She mumbled something under her breath in response, which I was about to question, but then Angus looked between us with a half concerned stare.

"Alycia's here, but the guy at the door won't let her in without proof of booking," he explained, before settling his gaze on me. "D'you think you can get her?"

I sighed dramatically but pushed my chair out and stood up. "If I must..."

He smiled gratefully and I waved my hand dismissively before making my way to the front of the restaurant, indeed finding the girl in question talking to the guy stood by the door. I only recognised her because of pictures that Angus had shown me when describing her to me. It was silly to admit, but the pictures didn't do her justice.

Alycia Debnam-Carey was seriously stunning.

She was wearing a black over-the-shoulder dress that complimented her curves well, certainly making a great first impression. But her eyes were what stood out the most – a bright green contrast compared to her dark hair and outfit. I almost forgot what I'd even come here for until I heard that she was still trying to convince the guy that she'd been invited.

"Hey, sir," I cut in, stopping beside the guy and glancing at Alycia, "she's with me. Party of four, just back there." I motioned behind me to where Y/S/N and Angus were waiting.

He nodded apologetically. "Of course." Looking to Alycia, he added, "Sorry, we've just had a lot of people trying to get in lately."

"It's all good," she said politely, before looking to me when he let her through.

I motioned for her to follow me back to the table as she spoke first.

"You must be Y/N," she said with realisation. "Thanks for saving me back there."

I smiled with amusement. "No worries, and yeah, I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you, Alycia."

She flashed me a beautiful smile, eyes glowing under the fluorescent lighting and slightly intimidating me at their intensity.

"You know," I said, hoping to distract from what I was thinking, "you're late to the first official family meeting which basically means I've got one point towards being the favourite sister-in-law and you've got none."

She snickered and raised her brows with disbelief. "Wow. So, you're playing like that?" I didn't reply and she rolled her eyes playfully. "Game on, Y/N. Though I must say – I never lose a competition."

"We'll see about that," I played along, and before she could reply, a mischievous glint in her eye, we reached the table. I motioned to the chair, saying, "After you."

She eyed me with scepticism but took a seat and smiled to my sister and her brother.

"I'm so sorry I'm late," she apologised instantly. "But it's so good to see you both! I can't believe you're officially engaged!"

I took my seat beside Alycia as the couple shared the engagement story all over again for her sake. When they were done, Alycia was nodding to show she was listening before looking to me.

"Isn't it the cutest story?" she asked sweetly.

"It is," I agreed with a smug smile, "though I already heard it. You know, best sister-in-law things an' all."

"Y/N!" Y/S/N scolded, whilst Angus laughed at her reaction.

"What? I'm just reminding Alycia here who's boss!" I exclaimed innocently, noticing the playful glare Alycia was sending my way. "She's got to know that, now more than ever, there's only room for one top sister-in-law. And it's me."

"You really shouldn't act so cocky when the competition has barely begun," she responded with a mere shrug as I ripped open my straw from the paper to put in my drink. "We all know that I'm gonna win."

"Hardly."

"You know nothing about me."

"But I know I'm much cooler."

"So cool that you've put the paper in your drink instead of the straw."

"Exactl– wait, what?"

I looked down to my drink with furrowed brows before widening my eyes at the sight of the paper soaking into my drink. Quickly pulling it out, I put the straw in instead, though was not spared the teasing laughter from the brunette beside me.

"That doesn't count," I warned her, giving her a knowing look.

She let out a wholehearted laugh, warning my insides and automatically bringing a smile to my lips. "Whatever you say."

"We're never going to hear the end of this, are we?" Angus asked us both.

"Nope," we both answered at the same time.

And that's where the fun began.

————

Having a sister who was getting married meant that I was in charge of the bachelorette party. Or rather, Alycia and I were in charge of it.

It was strange working with somebody I didn't know very well to plan an important part of someone else's life, but we somehow managed. The whole better sister-in-law competition broke the ice easily, with the two of us playfully competing to see who could outperform the other. That worked in our favour though, as we arranged a pretty fun party if you ask me.

Paintballing.

"Out of all the things you could've done, you picked this?" Y/S/N asked Alycia and I with raised brows when we brought her to the venue.

"Y/N said you love stuff like this," Alycia answered, glancing at me before looking to my sister. "You do, right?"

She sighed, glancing around, before giving in. "I mean, yeah, but I definitely didn't expect this."

Alycia opened her mouth to say something, probably in sympathy or consolation, but I didn't give her chance to as I wrapped an arm around Y/S/N's arm and pulled her close.

"Well, you got this," I told her with a satisfied smile. "And you're gonna love it. Trust me. I know you."

She cracked a smile. "You do..."

"C'mon, all of your friends are waiting inside," Alycia encouraged. "We've already got our teams picked."

"Oh? And what are they?" Y/S/N asked as Alycia and I led her to the door.

I looked over her and to Alycia with a playful grin. "My team versus Alycia's. But I think we both know who's gonna win."

Alycia met my stare halfway. "Definitely. The best sister-in-law."

"So, me," I quipped.

"In your dreams, love."

"If you say so."

Her smirk was teasingly familiar at this point, practically permanent whenever she was around me, but I didn't mind. I was learning to appreciate seeing it.

After getting suited up and going over the rules, the instructor led us all to the room we'd be playing in. It was a vast space with fake walls set up, windows carved into them, and a lot of space to manoeuvre and hide. The whole group was buzzing with excitement when we split into our two teams.

"Okay, you ladies know the rule," the instructor said, looking between Alycia and I. "Whoever gets shot is out."

Green eyes were trained on me and I gripped my gun tightly, a mixture of excitement and giddiness coursing through me. This was going to be awesome.

"If anybody gets hurt or needs help, just call for me or one of my colleagues," the instructor continued to explain to everyone. "We'll be dotted around the room if you need us. Now. Anything to ask?"

I raised my hand and he looked my way questioningly.

"Have fun being on the losing team, everyone," I stated to the opposing group, including my sister who had become a traitor and went on Alycia's team.

Alycia chuckled and shook her head. "That's not a question, stupid."

I shrugged. "I know. Just thought I'd let you know."

Her bright smile remained and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't worth it. No fair that even in these ugly, unflattering outfits she still managed to look gorgeous.

"Okay, get into your positions and when the bell rings, the game begins," the instructor ordered when he realised nobody had anything else to say.

We all nodded and ran to our sides of the room to get into position. I may have been wanting to take this a little more seriously than I needed to, but I didn't care. I was competitive, and beating Alycia was all that was on my mind.

Well, that and her stupid pretty smile.

The bell rang when I took my position crouching under a window. I instantly leaned forward to get a look and shoot my gun at someone who ran past. Sadly, I missed and soon realised my position was terrible. As I ran to a new one, I heard the sounds of guns going off, paint splattering, and laughter from some of the players. Distracted at that, I almost missed the gun before me, shooting my way.

"I'm gonna kick your arse!" a voice shouted, and only one person I knew had an accent like that.

Alycia was leaning against a wall as she saw me run to take cover, barely missing her further attempts to shoot me.

"You're giving away your position by shouting!" I called back, catching my breath and praising myself for my genius hidden position.

"So are you!" she shouted in response, followed by an adorable laugh that warmed me inside and out.

I cursed inwardly at my stupidity, fighting the smile from my lips, before running away and mentally zipping my mouth shut so I wouldn't give away my position again.

The match went on for maybe five more minutes with almost everyone getting shot and out, before eventually it was only down to Alycia and I. The only reason I was aware of that was because those who got out were stood to the side, watching on and shouting at their respective team leaders in support.

Competitive streak at an all-time high now, I crept around the whole room and strained my ears to listen in to where Alycia could be. Finally, when I rounded a corner, I raised my gun and found myself face to face with the brunette, her gun pointed at me, too.

"Well, fancy finding you here," I said with a grin. "Looks like we both have the same idea, huh?"

Even through her helmet, I made out the twinkle in her eye as she said, "You're not bad, Y/L/N. But you're certainly not the best. May as well give in now."

"Never. Though I won't make fun of you if you choose to."

She smirked beneath her mask. "You know I've done gun practice before on set, right? My aim is immaculate."

I quirked a brow. "You think because you're some Hollywood actress you have an advantage? I grew up with Nerf guns. I've got this in the bag."

We circled one another, neither of us making a move to pull the trigger. It was anyone's win, but who would do it?

"This isn't fair, clearly," she pointed out, stopping pacing but keeping her gun trained on me. "How about we call it a day and share the win?"

I considered this, but the thought of sharing a win was too unsatisfactory for me. Of course, I couldn't let her know that, so I pretended to agree and lowered my gun first.

"Fine," I gave in. "A draw?"

She lowered her gun and straightened up. "A draw."

"Let's go," I said, nodding to the others behind her.

She turned to walk away and I used this as my opportunity to shoot her in the back. My aim wasn't very good though, as I actually ended up shooting her in the butt. Her gasp when it happened was too funny for me not to erupt into laughter, though it was disguised by the cheers from my team.

"I believe the better sister-in-law just won," I said to her when she spun around to look at me with disbelief.

"You cheated."

"Bent the rules."

"Cheated."

"Bent the rules."

She narrowed her eyes at me before raising her gun to pull the trigger. But when she did, nothing came out and I laughed all over again, pulling my helmet and mask off.

"I would have won anyway it seems," I pointed out, and she pulled her headgear off too before giving me a disapproving look.

After a few more rounds with everyone following that, we all got changed back into our own clothes and headed out for food. Y/S/N gushed about how fun this day was and Alycia and I were just glad she enjoyed it. Then, when Y/S/N caught up with her friends, I nudged Alycia in the shoulder playfully.

"So, how's your butt?"

She shoved me back, harder, and I couldn't stop laughing. I knew she wasn't really upset though, since a smile ghosted her lips and she wasn't ignoring me or anything.

"It hurts," she answered truthfully. "There's definitely gonna be a bruise there by tomorrow."

"Sorry not sorry."

"Jerk."

"But you love it."

"Debatable."

"How about I buy you lunch today as an apology?" I offered, glancing at her with a sincere smile. "It's the least I can do as the superior sister-in-law."

"Aaaaaand you ruined it," she said, before sighing and giving me a sideways glance. "But yes. It's the least you can do."

I laughed. "You're a sore loser."

"I think you're a sore winner actually," she countered, green eyes bright under the sun.

"I'm so generous, what are you talking about? I'm literally buying you lunch."

She couldn't resist smiling. "Humble, too."

"But you love it."

"Mhm."

—————

The wedding itself was approaching pretty quickly and it was as if I blinked and there was one week to go. A lot of planning and stressing and crying later, all we had to do was wait for the weekend to come and the event would take place.

Of course, weddings meant seeing family that you hadn't seen since the last family event took place years ago. Exciting stuff, hint the sarcasm.

Since Angus and Alycia's family were all living in Australia, they flew in the week of the wedding and my parents deemed it important to throw a party where our extended family and theirs could get to know each other. As lovely as that sounded, I was never one for family events – seriously, who was? – and I definitely wasn't in the mood to get asked by several aunties why I wasn't also getting married. But, I had to attend as it was mandatory from the prison warden that was my mum.

Just like I'd predicted, all of my relatives deemed it appropriate to ask me about my nonexistent date to the wedding, if I was planning on getting married anytime soon and, my absolute favourite, what I thought of Angus and his sister as new additions to the family. It got to a point where I was tired of answering the same questions over and over, so I made up answers and told every relative different things.

"It must be nice to gain a brother!" one person said, grinning. "What do you think of Angus?"

With a straight face, I answered, "Oh, he's dreadful. All he does is talk about dinosaurs all the time. I'm like, seriously? You're a grown man. Act like it."

Their face dropped, I internally laughed, and they'd nod awkwardly and move on.

"Angus is very charming for Y/S/N," another would say, glancing out at him and Y/S/N as they mingled with other guests. "Is there any Missus in your life lately, Y/N?"

"Well, I have this girlfriend, but she doesn't like to come out during the day," I said casually. "So, I think I'll just leave her home with the TV and she should be okay. No eating any garlic though, am I right?"

So stupid, but so worth seeing their judgemental face. Well, that's what they deserved for getting nosey. Especially when they all asked the same damn questions – couldn't they at least coordinate and share my one answer between them?

"I heard Alycia is some famous actress," some cousin of mine who I barely knew said, nudging me. "Is she as stuck up as people say?"

"Well, she always makes someone smell her food before she takes a bite because apparently she was poisoned once," I said with a shrug. "Actually, no, it was an attempted poisoning. My bad."

In addition to winding up my whole extended family, I was also introduced to some of Angus and Alycia's, who actually didn't seem that bad. I mean, they were just like any other family. They had an uncle who got too drunk to handle, gossiping aunties who started drama for no reason, and judgemental elderly that watched on with curious eyes. Like I said, a nice family that was similar to ours except for the glaring fact that they were from Australia and not L.A.

Just when I thought I'd had enough socialising for the day, someone tapped me on the shoulder and startled me in the process. When I spun around, I sighed with relief upon seeing Alycia laughing at my reaction, though holding a baby on her hip.

"Someone's jumpy," she commented with an amused raised brow.

I shook my head with exasperation. "Yeah, well I thought you were another nosey relative. You're lucky you're with a kid or I would've killed you. Didn't you know were a mum."

She rolled her eyes, trying not to smile at my joke. "It's my cousin's kid. Layla." She looked to Layla and had a stupid smile on her lips as she nuzzled her. "Say hi to this idiot, Layla. Go on!"

Layla reached her hand out towards me, grabbing the air with a smile. Drool was all over her mouth and it was frustratingly cute, making me smile and lean forward to hold her hand. Her tiny fingers grasped around mine and my smile widened with appreciation.

"Oh, she likes you," Alycia noticed, before tilting her head towards me. "Surprise, surprise."

I glanced up at her, green eyes startling me more than I liked to admit. With a cocky smile, I quirked a brow. "What can I say? The kid recognises genius when she sees it."

Alycia rolled her eyes again, mumbling "idiot" under her breath and making me chuckle.

"So, what brings you to my corner of the garden?" I asked jokingly, letting go of Layla's hand and secretly cooing at how she got them tangled in Alycia's hair.

As if remembering why she was here, she tried to intimidate me with her stare, but it was very unbelievable.  "Apparently one of your uncles thinks I wrestle sharks for a living. And another thinks my accent is fake and I'm actually British."

I snorted at some of the many stories I'd fabricated. "Wow, they sound even better when it's you saying it."

"What's with that?" she asked with disbelief, but she was trying not to laugh.

I shrugged dismissively. "I don't know... I got exhausted with all the questioning."

"Seeing your family after a long time not as fun as you thought?" she asked, a bit more seriously this time.

"Not really," I admitted. "They just keep asking the same dumb questions." Using my hand and listing on my fingers as I spoke, I imitated my family and said, "Oh, you're still a communications assistant and not a manager? Still no girlfriend to bring as your date to the wedding? When are you going to get married?"

Alycia pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh, but I didn't blame her. From an external perspective, it was kind of funny.

"Okay, I see why you've been saying what you have now," she admitted with a small smile. "If it's any consolation, it's almost the same with me."

I furrowed my brows. "I doubt that. Your family seem so nice. And you're literally famous. How could you disappoint anyone?"

She chuckled, readjusting Layla on her hip, before shrugging slightly. "I don't know. I mean, I miss them a lot. I rarely get to see them because of work, and even when I go back home, it's not for long. So, I had high hopes for today. But I just forgot how... ugh, they can be, y'know?"

I nodded in agreement, smiling apologetically. "Sucks being a sibling, doesn't it?"

"That it does," she agreed with a half smile. "People are constantly asking when it's my turn to get married because I'm older than Angus. And also because I'm a woman, so they like to insert their opinions where it's not wanted."

I frowned, not expecting her to hear it, too. I guess it would be different since she was older and the only girl in her family. Damn, that sucked.

"I'm happy for Angus and Y/S/N, don't get me wrong," she added quickly. "It's just annoying is all."

"I get it," I assured her, not wanting her to feel bad for complaining. It fell quiet as we pondered our revelations, so I decided to lighten the mood by looking at her with a playful smile. "So, I take it the big Hollywood actress isn't bringing a boyfriend to the wedding then?"

It had never come up and I was never one to assume someone's sexuality, but something about Alycia screamed straight.

At my comment, she laughed through her nose and looked down to her shoes. "No, she doesn't... yet another thing I've been asked about."

Hoping to make her feel better, I said, "Just wait until the wedding. I guarantee someone will ask you out then."

Entertained by my assumption, she looked up and smiled curiously. "And what makes you think that, love?"

I raised my eyebrows like it was obvious. "Seriously?" Her challenging eyes made me continue. "Okay, so I know it's already been established that I'm better than you in many ways, hence being the better sister-in-law." She punched my in the arm at this, making me smile. "But believe it or not, you're actually not that bad."

"Gee, thanks."

I laughed, shaking my head. "No, I'm serious. You meet all the expectations of a perfect date. You're very clever, you're stunning. You have a cool accent. You're literally a famous actress, and I'm certain anybody at that wedding will ask you out."

It didn't take a genius to know all of this about Alycia. Yes, I took the piss out of her, but it was all playful and only because I loved seeing her fight back or get annoyed. But underneath all of that banter was an actual appreciation. Take now, for example. She was wearing a beautiful floral summer dress that hugged her curves perfectly and complimented the curls in her hair. Add an endearing smile and sparkling eyes and she was the perfect catch. You'd be stupid not to think so.

"Wow," she said with feigned amazement. "I think that's the first time you've ever said something nice to me."

"Yeah, don't expect it," I joked, making her smile.

She opened her mouth to respond, but then Layla began tugging at her curls, making her pull a face. Despite moving her hands away, Layla was adamant on annoying the Australian.

"Someone doesn't like you," I sang lightheartedly.

Alycia glared through a smile before looking back to Layla. "I should give her back to her mum. She's getting fussy."

"Let me try something," I offered and held out my hands.

Alycia raised a brow, but obliged and handed Layla over to me. Smiling at the young girl, I held her so she was leaning over my shoulder slightly and began to bounce her gently. The gurgling and fussiness on her end ceased and I felt her relax on my shoulder.

"How on Earth did you do that?" Alycia asked with surprise.

I winked at her. "Genius, remember?"

She put her hands on her hips, attempting to silence me with her stare, but laughter spilled from her lips in a contagious manner, bringing a smile to my face. I realised I quite liked the sound of her laughter.

—————

The wedding ceremony was definitely a beautiful event. Despite the panicking and pre-wedding jitters on Y/S/N's part (I could only imagine Angus being the same), the actual ceremony went by smoothly.

As the maid of honour, it was pretty hectic making sure everything went to plan, but the smile on my sister's face was worth it when she met Angus at the top of the aisle. On Angus' side, Alycia was his best 'man' which I found cute. I'd known the whole time, but I never imagined how she'd look alongside the groomsmen. The answer was jaw-dropping. She was wearing a suit like them, but she looked better than all of them. Maybe I was biased since a woman in a suit was infinitely better than a man in a suit, but still.

After the ceremony came the reception where the real fun began. There was food, drinks and dancing, and even a photo booth for guests to make their own memories. But the best part was the speeches. Hearing what Y/S/N and Angus' friends had fo say about them was very entertaining, and I was more than glad to share my own stories of them.

Alycia's speech was after mine and the first thing she did was give me a challenging smirk as she accepted the mic, then look out to the audience with a friendly smile.

"Okay, so my speech won't be as boring and long as Y/N's, don't worry," she began, making the audience laugh and 'ooh' at her joke.

Green eyes flickered to mine across the guests and I let her have it, appreciating the joke. Hey, credit where it's due, right?

The rest of her speech was actually pretty good. She was funny in a charming way, and she was relatable in a cute way. Her stories about the newly-wedded couple were amusing enough to hold the audience's attention and entertaining enough to be the best speech of the evening. By the time she was done, everybody was clapping her off the stage and the speeches were done. The first place she headed was to me, watching me with a playful smile.

"Do hold the applause," she teased, making me roll my eyes.

"Maybe it wasn't that bad," I admitted with a smile.

She laughed before tilting her head. "Yours wasn't too bad either."

"Really? I thought it was boring and long," I said, repeating her words from earlier.

She smiled sheepishly. "It was a joke obviously."

"Obviously."

Her smile widened and I bit my lip to contain my own.

"So. Looks like we're officially sister-in-laws now," she stated with a hint of amusement in her words. "How does it feel?"

"It doesn't change anything," I said with a shrug. "I'm still the better one."

"Keep saying that and it just might come true."

I refrained from smiling. "So. Anyone ask you out yet?"

At this, her cheeks began to turn pink and she avoided my eyes. It wasn't hard to know that I was right in my assumption. Plenty of single guys tonight had made their move on her and I couldn't exactly blame them. She looked stunning, though I'd never fully admit it.

"I called it," I said with a laugh. "It's probably the suit, y'know. You pull it off. Which must suck because I know you love your dresses."

"I really do," she agreed, looking down at her outfit, and I didn't bring up the fact that she was avoiding the initial question. "But this isn't so bad."

"Wearing pants is never bad," I pointed out.

She smiled and looked me up and down. "Neither is wearing a dress. Which you look really nice in by the way."

Deflecting from my awkwardness whenever paid compliments, I said, "Don't flatter me too much. Don't wanna get a big head."

She rolled her eyes, a ghost of a smile on her lips. Inside, I was smiling though. She thought I looked nice?

"Yeah, turns out you can clean up nice when you want to," she added, making me shake my head with disapproval. Her laughter sounded around us and she nodded to the dancefloor. "Wanna dance?"

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. "Very funny."

Despite her teasing smile, she shook her head. "I'm not joking."

Quirking a brow, I studied her suspiciously. She wasn't giving away the slightest inkling of mischief, so I reluctantly nodded and allowed her to lead me to the dancefloor.

To my surprise, she was absent of any teasing and instead genuinely wanted to have a good time. I shouldn't have expected any less from her when she put her dancing skills on display – was there anything she wasn't good at?

We danced to several songs and I found myself enjoying her company, letting her take the lead and laughing every time we bumped into someone else (which was more times than you'd expect).

After being danced out, we went to grab a drink from the bar and catch our breath. Taking a seat on the stools, she flashed me a contagious smile.

"Who knew you had skills on the dancefloor, Y/L/N?" she teased.

"Says you, Little Miss I'm-good-at-everything-I-do?"

She rolled her eyes, but my playfulness made her blush and I smiled at the sight. Before she could even begin to retort, we were interrupted by none other than hers and Angus' mum. I'd spoke to her a few times before and she was a lovely woman; I could see where Alycia got her looks and charm (though I'd never admit that to her in a million years).

"You ladies look like you've had a delightful evening," she said when she stopped by us, smile on her lips. "And those speeches earlier... very funny. Both of them."

"Thanks, mum," Alycia said, returning the smile to her for the both of us.

"And Y/N, I should have told you earlier, but you made a wonderful maid of honour to Y/S/N," she added, looking to me. "It's been lovely seeing you getting along with Angus and Alycia. It's reassuring to know that they have family here even when their parents aren't."

"Mum, quit being embarrassing," Alycia mumbled, cheeks flushing as she looked the other way.

A smile of amusement tugged at my lips as I glanced at Alycia before looking to her mother. "Of course. They're both great and it's nice to welcome you all into the family. Or us into yours. Whichever way it goes."

She laughed, nodding in agreement. "How sweet. We feel the same. Everybody has said how charming you've been this week and I can't help but agree."

Now it was my turn to flush with embarrassment, thought it was sweet of her to say.

"You know, Alycia, you should be more like Y/N," she said, looking to her daughter. "Maybe she'll rub off on you."

"Very funny," Alycia replied with a knowing look, though a small smile was on her face.

Her mother laughed, squeezing her shoulder before looking to me. "I'll leave you girls to it. But I hope this wedding isn't the last we see of you, Y/N! Maybe you could come down to Australia some time? Alycia can give you the grand tour."

Grinning, I glanced to the green-eyed girl. "I'd love to."

Alycia rolled her eyes playfully as her mother didn't seem to pick up on our expressions.

"Amazing! Well, enjoy the rest of your evening," she said politely, before leaving us to it.

My grin was still present, fully directed on Alycia as she pretended it didn't bother her when it clearly did.

"Shut up," she said, finally, spinning around to get her drink from the bar.

Still not looking away from her, I grabbed mine, too. "What? I didn't even say anything."

Tilting her head towards me, her green eyes studied me knowingly. "I know what you're thinking."

"What? What am I thinking, Alycia?"

She shook her head and looked away. "I'm not saying."

My grin widened, if possible. "Okay, I'll say it." She groaned, resting her head in her hands, but I ignored it. "Your family loves me. And they basically want you to be more like me, which means I'm perfect and I'm basically family now."

She glanced at me, narrowing her eyes jokingly.

"You can't deny I'm the best sister-in-law now," I pointed out, enjoying the way her eyes squinted and she gave me all of her attention.

Nudging me in the arm in response, she didn't dignify my comment with a response, only making me laugh.

I was beginning to love hanging around her.

[julieloveupstead]

"Made for Each Other" - UPSTEAD (9x10)

Description: Missing scenes from the episode (9x10) that I think should have happened. Enjoy Reading.

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*Prov Jay*

Jay and Kevin have just finished questioning another suspect on their list.

Since Voight had sent the two of them to interrogate ex-convicts or those suspected in the past of inappropriate contact with young children, he tried not to pay attention to the way Atwater's gaze fell on him from time to time.

He wondered how much longer his friend could stand to not ask some question about his marriage to Hailey.

They didn't want to make a secret of it, and truth be told, both he and Hailey felt proud and happy that they were finally officially married. Never in his life had he felt so good, so complete as he did yesterday when he vowed his love and fidelity to his beloved.

He couldn't stop looking at the black ring and just like now, when he was looking at it, he had images of the happiest and most important event in his life so far in front of his eyes.

- So - he heard the voice of Kevin sitting next to him, so he looked at him with one eyebrow raised, waiting for what he suspected was to come. - I don't know whether to be offended that I didn't get to be a witness at your wedding, or happy that I didn't have to compete with Adam for best man at your wedding.

- I'm sorry, what? - laughed Jay in disbelief as he stared straight ahead at the road as if nothing had happened.

- Although no. I'd give anything to hear him tell you he kicked your ass at the range once (from the author: I know there was never a scene like that on the show, but if there was, I'd like to see a competition between Adam and Jay. I think it would be hilarious) - Kevin laughed.

- Are you serious? - asked Jay, wondering if his friend's head was okay. Kevin shook his head and laughed even louder.

- First of all, Adam has never ever won with me, especially at the range, and if he told you that, then fatherhood has boosted his ego too much. - Jay shook his head. After all, even Makayla knows that Uncle Jay is the best. Duh. - And secondly, how do you know that both of you would be my best man? - Jay turned in his chair, so he could see Kevin more clearly.

- Well I don't know about Adam, but you and I are best mates after all. - Kevin smiled broadly and turned back to Jay, who didn't really know what was going on. - Besides, and what I think is most important, I would give you the best bachelor party ever. - Kevin added proudly, which made Jay laugh.

God, it was a good thing he missed it, because he was terrified of what was going to happen there.

- I'm glad it didn't happen - he said, grimacing as he imagined what the night might have been like.

- You're hurting me, my friend - said Kev in a serious voice, and for confirmation he grabbed his heart with one hand and put it on the steering wheel.

- Oh sorry - replied Jay, trying to sound just as serious, but this whole conversation seemed so comical to him that he didn't last long and burst out laughing, and a moment later Kevin joined him.

- But seriously - Atwater spoke up again as he stopped the car at the next spot and looked at Jay - I've known you for so many years now, and I've seen you through a lot of hard times and a lot of good times, but never since we've been working together have I seen you as happy as you are right now. I'm proud of your brother.

His friend's words made a huge impression on him, and he struggled for a moment to find the words to express how grateful he was for those words.

Because Kevin was right. For years, he couldn't find peace and something that made him complete. After what he had seen during his deployment to Afghanistan and what he had experienced here in Chicago, it was hard for him to believe that something good and something so wonderful would ever happen to him again.

And when Hailey came into his life, it all made sense, and he finally believed that he deserved love and a life with the woman of his life.

He felt that now he was not missing anything. Well, almost.

- Thank you - he replied and Kev nodded and they both went back to work.

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*Prov Hailey*

Hailey was still studying the file on the suspect, she and Kim and Adam were preparing to raid his house, when she heard Adam's quiet voice.

- When were you going to brag?

- Excuse me? - Hailey raised her head at her friend without understanding, and when Adam pointed to the ring soon everything seemed clear. - This. Umm - she gasped for air, not knowing what to say, and wishing Jay had been there to save her in situations like this.

It's not that she didn't want to tell her friend or that she wanted to hide the fact that she got married, but she just didn't feel comfortable talking about such intimate things from her life. Even when it came to Adam.

On yesterday's special day, she thought it was special that there was no one with them but themselves. Because that's all she really needed. Jay and her through life in sickness or in health. She didn't need anything right now, she felt at peace, and she was finally happy.

They didn't need witnesses for that.

And certainly not to talk about when some monster kidnapped and God knows what is doing to a seven-year-old girl. She preferred to focus on finding her and not on talking about her private life.

- It's ok, you don't have to say anything - thank goodness Adam knew her enough to know that now was not the time. - I just wanted to say that I'm happy for you. You deserve a happy ending. - He said, putting his hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly.

- Thank you. - she said, holding back tears of emotion after her friend's words.

Hailey didn't know what had made her so touched by the man's words. Maybe it was the fact that they used to be together, maybe the fact that Adam was the only one besides Jay who knew about what was going on in her family home, or maybe she still felt remorse for not telling the truth about Roy. Or maybe she finally truthfully felt her friend's words were not spoken for friendly reasons that she herself didn't believe until a few months ago, but now after everything that had happened in her life she finally believed that she deserved to be happy, to live a life without fear, to live a life without her head being turned behind her back, to be in love and loved.

Before meeting Jay, it never crossed her mind that she would be married in the future, and now for less than 24 hours she has had a husband whom she loves more than life and who loves her just as much.

With him everything seemed easier, better. Life with him, marriage with him, seemed like the best adventure she had the opportunity to be a part of.

Now she was ready for the next step, which thanks to her husband didn't seem so scary. She was even looking forward to it.

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*The Next Day*

Hailey and Jay were working on surveillance, looking for the suspicious kidnapping of little Brianna.

The two sent each other glances and not big smiles every now and then.

It had been 2 days in which the two became officially married, and they both knew that a more wonderful day they couldn't have dreamed of.

However, the affair they had been working on since yesterday was causing the excitement of what had happened 48hrs ago to fade a little.

Neither of them could completely get the images of what could now be happening to the little girl out of their heads.

Never for any cop such matters involving children were easy, but Hailey was more affected by such actions, so Jay tried with all his might to support his beloved even though they didn't spend much time apart. Yesterday, Hailey spent most of the day working in the kidnapped child's neighborhood with Kim and Adam doing a search at the home of a wanted criminal, and Jay rode with Kevin, but they got home late and neither of them really had the energy or desire to talk.

Hailey had really been trying to control these unwanted images, and it seemed to be going pretty well, but today when they still hadn't been able to find either the suspect or the child, her frustration and anxiety was mounting.

- Shit! - she growled as she once again failed to find the man. Jay lifted his gaze from his monitor and looked worriedly at his beloved.

- Hailey, are you okay? - He asked gently, even though he knew the answer perfectly well.

- We've been sitting here for two hours, and we have nothing on that son of a b*ch, and I don't know where he is or what's going on with Brianna. - replied a frustrated Hailey, pushing herself away from the desk and turning to face her husband. - So no, nothing is ok.

- I know, but I'm sure we'll find something soon, you'll see. - Jay sent her a slight smile that should have lifted Hailey's spirits, but it only took one look to know that it was no use.

- Hailey, talk to me, what are you thinking about? - he asked, getting up from his seat and walking over to his wife.

Hailey took a deep breath behind her before she decided to say what was bothering her, and Jay waited patiently as he always did, being at her side.

- Jay, how are we supposed to bring our baby into this world when things like this are happening? - she asked quietly, afraid that if she said it out loud it would mean something terrible.

Neither of them had brought up the subject out loud yet, but after getting married they both knew it was only a matter of time before the subject would come up in some of their conversations, or it would just happen as unexpectedly as their wedding.

They didn't have to talk about whether or not they wanted kids because they were both sure that mini versions of them would be the next step.

A wonderful step that they were both looking forward to.

- I don't know Honey - just as quietly replied Jay, crouching in front of his beloved. He would be lying if he didn't admit that similar thoughts as his wife's were running through his head because of this case. They live in a world of people who are unpredictable and who are capable of hurting innocent beings like children.

After seeing what he saw on the front lines in Afghanistan and the harm done to children there, Jay still dreams of the nine-year-old girl he shot, just like Meghan, who was accidentally hit by a bullet from his gun during a gang raid shortly after he and Hailey were assigned to the couple. His years of service to the Chicago Police Department have meant that there is probably nothing he hasn't seen, but still, every time they make a case involving a child it takes him a long time to recover.

Hailey, on the other hand, is experiencing it more, more personally because of what she went through as a child and Jay wants to take away any pain she has about the past and now that they are both thinking about their future child.

Jay grabbed Hailey's hand and squeezed lightly, trying to bring her dark thoughts out.

Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long for the most beautiful blue eyes to look at him.

Hailey, who felt the warmth of his hand on hers, tried to focus all her attention on Jay and looked into his sharp green eyes filled with immense love for her. She hadn't yet imagined what she wanted her baby girl or son to look like, she didn't want to tempt fate, but she imagined their child having just those smart green eyes like his or her dad's.

Imagining it didn't help her at all, it just made her feel even worse.

- Jay, this could be our baby girl - she whispered, opening her tear-filled eyes and looking at her husband.

- I know - he whispered, close to tears. It wasn't the first time Jay had imagined that there was a child in the place of these children, but for some reason today's case touched more, it felt more real.

Jay realized that he couldn't give in to that notion now, that instead of Brianna they were looking for their baby girl. A mini version of Hailey.

No, he couldn't think about that right now. Hailey needed his support right now.

He took a few deep breaths to clear his mind and find the right words.

- Hailey - he finally started and Hailey looked up at him, catching his other hand with her right free hand so that they were now holding both hands. The blonde looked at the intertwined hands and focused her gaze on the ring on his hand.

- Honey, I wish I could promise you that something like this will never happen, because we both know we have no control over it,' he said slowly, and although Hailey knew perfectly well that it was true she hated every word.

- But I can promise something else. - He squeezed both their intertwined hands gently to make Hailey look at him and when she did, he continued.

- I will do everything in my power and everything I can to protect you and our children no matter what.

This time, there were tears of emotion in Hailey's eyes.

For many years she didn't know what it meant to be safe, but when she first met Jay, she felt safe. Over time, as their relationship evolved, she never stopped feeling that way. And just like now, she knew that not only would she be safe, but so would their children, and that was enough to bring peace to her mind and a slight smile to her face.

- I love you - she said louder and more confidently than the previous part of the conversation.

- I love you too - answered Jay with the same certainty, breathing with relief seeing all the tension fall from his wife's body.

Those words didn't make all the anxiety disappear, but for this one they are both a little calmer, because when their little one finally comes into the world they know it will be okay.

Because as long as they are together, everything will work out somehow.

That's why they are so perfectly matched.

They both can't imagine life without each other.

[babymetaldoll]

DIWK - Chapter four: "Hurt"

Words count: 13,7K

The gif is mine ✨

Warnings: Hardcore Spencer trauma. Mention of drug abuse,  torture, Criminal Minds usual case triggers. Spoilers of Season 2 E14/15 Criminal Minds.

Summary: An unsub abducts Spencer, and reader blames JJ for it.

A/N: Have you ever wished you were there to save Spencer from Tobias Hankel? I know I have. I know reader wants to... I'm dying to know what you'll think of this chapter! Sorry if it's a little too graphic, writing Spencer's POV of this episode was really hard.

Series Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen |

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(Y/N)'s point of view

I remember the day Emily Prentiss arrived. We had a case in Saint Louis. Two serial killers, 'cos it couldn't just be one asshole making everyone miserable. And on top of all, Hotch was confused and upset 'cos he never signed Emily's transfer to the BAU. It was like someone was trying to force her into the team, and we all thought it was weird.

We left the bullpen off to the case and left Prentiss in the office, not knowing if she actually got the job or not. I know Elle and I weren't incredibly close, but it still felt weird to think someone might join the team and try to replace her. It didn't work that way in that job. It didn't feel right at the moment.

There is something I also distinctly remember about that day: Gideon talked to me. And not only that, but he actually trusted my knowledge. We hadn't been on the best terms for a few months, so that approach meant a lot to me.

We were at the police station. Reid and I had been analyzing the letters one of the killers had sent to a journalist to find something that might help us catch him before there were any more victims. That's when JJ and Jason walked in, and he asked about our progress.

- "He only sent this to an individual, which shows he is not confident enough to initiate contact with the masses."- Spencer explained as he projected an image of the letter on the wall.

- "Emotional indicators are analyzed through slants, and you can see the shooter maintains vertical, narrow letter writing, and both are signs of repression"- I said and pointed at the image on the wall- "And the pressure, if you look closely, it's excessively heavy, which shows that he's uptight and can easily overreact."

Gideon looked at me and nodded. It was my cue to keep on talking. For once in a long time, I was feeling approved by him.

- "You got all that from his handwriting?"- JJ asked me, surprised. Reid looked at me from the other side of the room, and I could feel his smile reflecting how proud he was of me.

- "Graphology is an effective and reliable indicator of personality and behavior."

- "But my writing is always different,"- she added, and I nodded. I was waiting for that comment.

- "Yes, because it represents your emotions at the moment, just like your facial expressions parallel the way you are feeling while you are speaking."

- "What else can we know about our unsub from this?"- Gideon asked me.

- "Well, our killer uses simple statements, all first person, like "I won't be ignored," which means he's obviously tired of feeling this way. He may have a job in solitude or one that he feels strips of his identity. His work might require him to wear a uniform, something that shows absolutely no individuality, or he may be overqualified for his menial job and feels that he doesn't get the respect that he necessarily deserves."

I made a pause and waited for his words. I was giving my best, and I swear I was still hoping I could ever get Jason Gideon's blessing.

- "I think we are ready to give a profile,"- he said and nodded.

And damn, that felt good.

When we were back in Quantico, Hotch had a long and clearly awkward conversation with the section chief, Erin Strauss. She was scary. She was clearly trying to get rid of Hotch, questioning his work daily, decisions, and how he managed the team. Why? I have no idea.

It felt she forced him to accept Prentiss into the team. We were one man down after Elle left. Ok, one awesome woman down, so we definitely needed some help. And Emily was a great addition from day one.

We clicked right away. Prentiss was funny, smart, but most of all, she constantly had to prove she deserved to be there. Just like me. Gideon gave her the cold shoulder from day one, and that I could relate. The only difference was that she won him over in a few days, though. I was still trying to win that battle.

Garcia decided we needed a girl's night, and she hosted the first of many "BAU Girl Power get together." Basically, it was us at Penelope's place drinking and talking.

That first night, we updated Prentiss with everything that had happened with Elle. She wanted to know everything about us, what we did, how long we've been on the team, and how we all got along. It was sweet and fresh. After that year in the BAU, I had already learned to enjoy the sweet things in life. Like getting drunk with my work girlfriends.

- "So, does Hotch ever smile?"- Emily asked, and we all laughed at the very same time. Yes, it was getting late, and we weren't as sober as we should have been.

- "He does! he does!"- JJ assured us- "You should see him with his baby."

- "He is a dad?"- Emily was shocked. I was surprised too when I found out Aaron was married and with a baby. The amount of time he spends at work always made me feel he had zero personal life.

- "And has a beautiful wife"- JJ added- "He is always laughing when he is with her and baby Jack."

- "I guess this job can drain the happiness from your day... "- I thought out loud, but before anyone could say anything about my dark and bitter comment, my cell phone rang.

- "Hey honey bunny, everything ok?"- I stood up and walked to the kitchen. I didn't want to interrupt the girl's conversations.

- "Yes, I just wanted to make sure you were drinking enough water between drinks"- I laughed and shook my head. Only Reid could call to say such a thing. He was the sweetest friend on earth.

- "Yes, I am, don't worry. I'm not going to be hungover or drunk tomorrow. I know you are excited about the new exposition."

- "You are gonna love it!"

- "I am sure I will"- and I wasn't kidding. I loved when he dragged me to the Smithsonian or any museum for some nerdy fun.

- "Have fun with the girls."

- "What are you doing, by the way?"

- "Just reading a little, you left your complete Sherlock Holmes collection here, so I'll be solving mysteries while you get drunk."

- "Don't have too much fun without me"- he chuckled and ended the call. I smiled and walked back to the girls looking at me with a funny grin on their faces.

- "Was that your boyfriend?"- Penelope asked me, and I frowned right away.

- "No, it was Reid. He just wanted to confirm we are going to the museum tomorrow."

- "Wait"- Prentiss narrowed her brows and looked at us confused- "Reid ain't your boyfriend?"

JJ and Garcia's laughter was epical, as well as my frown. They nearly gasped for air while Prentiss and I waited until they calmed down.

- "No"- I finally answered- "Reid is not my boyfriend."

- "He is more than that; he is her work husband,"- Penelope clarified, and I turned to her with my mouth wide open, shocked.

- "What the fuck? Reid ain't my work husband. He is my best friend!!"

- "Yes, and you happen to call your best friend "honey bunny," right?"- JJ questioned, just like she had a few months before when we were alone in our room away on a case.

- "Reid is my best friend, and yes, I call all my close friends by weird pet names. You will get one too if you are lucky."

- "But I thought"- Emily continued- "I mean, he looks at you like you are his sun."

- "No, Prentiss, the only coupe in this team is the one between "chocolate thunder" and "baby girl" right here"- I pointed at Garcia, and she just blushed and covered her face.

- "My love for Derek will burn forever with the intensity of a thousand suns. I mean, have you seen that man? he was made by the gods and sent to earth just to give my existence some sense"- we all laughed at those cheesy words, though Pen was serious about them.

- "But, have you ever...?- JJ looked at her and made a pause. We were all looking at every single facial movement or behavior she might show to read her body language."

- "My relationship with my loverman could never be tainted by something as mundane as sex."

- "Like you wouldn't lick honey from that six-pack and ride that thunder."

The words just left my lips, and I blame the buzz. BAU (Y/N) would have never said that. Drunk (Y/N) would, totally.

The girls laughed until tears fell from their eyes, and I just chuckled, honestly happy to make them laugh. I had been more of the real me than I had ever actually been around them in nearly a year.

- "Hello?"- my phone rang again when I was walking out of the bathroom. And this time, it was Paul.

- "Hey babe, what are you doing?"

- "Hey, I'm..."- I looked at the girls in front of me and sighed- "I'm stuck with paperwork"- and they turned to me immediately. I could read the "What the fuck" on their faces.

- "Well, I'm at Rob's in case you feel like dropping by. We are writing a few songs."

- "I'll text you if I finish with this early, but... have fun."

- "Ok, bye"- I hung up and sighed.

- "And that was..."- Prentiss asked, frowning.

- "My boyfriend,"- I explained and grabbed another beer

- "Sure, I could feel the passion,"- Garcia joked, but I just didn't think it was funny.

I knew my relationship with Paul wasn't alright. Actually, things with Paul weren't. Period. We were done, it was apparent, but still, neither of us had said it. That relationship was just a few phone calls every once in a while, only to make small talks. When we were together, we would just watch a movie, eat something, drink a few beers, and that was it. It had been a long time since we had sex or even made out. I don't know why I didn't end it sooner. I guess I was just afraid to do it.

But I let more months pass before I actually did something.

Spencer's point of view

I'm not proud of what happened that year after Prentiss joined the team. I think that year changed me profoundly, and a part of me never fully recovered afterward.

Maybe it had to be that way, and it was something I had to go through to grow up. I guess I'm still trying to make some sense of all the misery I put my friends through. Mostly (Y/N). She was in hell with me.

A few weeks after New Year, we started working on a case. Someone was killing wealthy people in their own homes. At first, we thought there were two unsubs, 'cos one of them called 911 after killing, and you could hear them struggling and arguing. But no, it was just one.

Tobias Hankel was a delusional serial killer. He had split personalities, not two but actually three. His father, the one who tortured me. The archangel Raphael, who was trying to make God's will, killing people. And himself, who wanted to save me, but instead, he nearly destroyed me.

What do I remember about the day he kidnapped me? I remember I was stupid enough to try to catch an unsub alone, just to prove I could take care of myself on the field. Hotch sent me and JJ to talk to Hankel at his house, 'cos apparently, he might have seen the unsub months earlier. But no, he was the unsub, and neither JJ nor me could stop him.

We hid in a barn, and I was so eager to prove I could catch him; I told JJ we had to split up to cover the place. I was counting on Hotch to get there with the team sooner than they did, and before I realized it, I was in the middle of a cornfield, and Hankel was pointing at me with my own gun.

I was sure I was going to die right there. All of Hankel's personalities were struggling inside of him. I couldn't stop thinking about why I thought I could do it on my own? Why had I been a reckless asshole? Was it because I wanted to prove I was an excellent SAA? Because I wanted to impress JJ? Maybe I tried to convince myself I could do the same job my team did. I knew I wasn't the most physical person, but I had a gun. I had been trained to capture killers.

Yes, I was an asshole that day, and I've regretted everything that happened that night many, many times in the following years.

When I woke up, I was tied to a chair, and the archangel Raphael had taken Hankel's mind completely. The room was dark, and it smelled awful. He was burning fish hearts and livers, 'cos he believed it kept the devil away.

I was confused and lost. My head was spinning, and my heart was about to burst into my chest. I knew I could die any second now. Raphael wasn't the one to show mercy. That's what I had learned from all the videos Hankel had uploaded to the web. He had shared with the world every murder they had committed to show the other sinners what was going to happen to them.

- "They believe you can see inside men's minds"- Raphael looked at me with dark eyes, implying he meant Tobias and his father

- "It's not true. I study human behavior."- my voice was shaking. I knew I had never been more scared in my entire life. He took out a gun and showed me one bullet.

- "Do you know what this is? It's God's will."

Things didn't look good for me. He put it in the cylinder of the revolver and spun it. He was going to let my life to luck.

- "You don't have to do this"- I tried to talk him out of it, though I knew it wasn't going to work.

- "No go, sinners, to your God."

And he pressed the trigger.

What went through my mind the seconds that passed between having the gun pointed to my face and realizing I had lived? My mom. All I could think of was how my mom would react to the news of my death. I could never bear to hurt her like that. I couldn't die. I couldn't leave her alone.

I sighed, relieved, and bit my lips not to cry. Raphael looked at me with a blank expression and walked out of the room. I had survived for now.

I struggled with my handcuff, but it was useless. My head was killing me. I could feel the open wound on my head, still dripping blood on my temple and head. I tried to focus on the pain for a few minutes, just to make sure I was awake. It was a nightmare, and keeping myself sane and conscious under those circumstances was nearly impossible.

How was I going to get out of there alive? Did the team know where I was? I had no idea where I had been taken. I had been unconscious the whole way. It was dark, and I couldn't see much around me. I wasn't afraid of that darkness. I was more fearful of the man that left me alone, 'cos he was armed and mentally unstable. Darkness had nothing on him.

I had to focus on the things that kept me sane. The things that made me want to get out of that room alive.

- "My name is Spencer Walter Reid. I'm twenty-five years old, my mother's name is Diana Reid, I was born in Las Vegas, October 28th, 1981."

I closed my eyes and tried to think of all the things that made me happy.

- "I work at the BAU, my best friend's name is (Y/N), and she sits at the desk in front of me. Derek Morgan is the closest I've got to an older brother."

He was. He still is. You have to be close to dead to start seeing things clearly sometimes. Derek was my brother. He treated me like a kid, but a kid brother. He was always teasing me, trying to teach me how to pick up girls, trying to drag me to the gym with him. Derek was a good friend, we were very different, and I knew if we had been classmates in high school, we would probably never have talked. He was a jock, and I was a nerd. But life had brought us together. And now I couldn't think of a better friend than him.

I tried to focus on my happiest memories. My birthday came to mind. The guys had planned a Halloween-themed birthday party at the conference room of the BAU. Of course, Garcia baked a cake and (Y/N) helped her decorate it. It was incredible, 'cos it was covered with tiny gourds and skulls.

- "Frank and Mikey sent you these,"- she announced after everybody had given me their presents. I wide opened my eyes in shock 'cos I had no idea her friends knew it was my birthday or even cared about it.

- "Why?"- I had to ask.

- "'Cos they think you are amazing. They actually wanted to come over to your house and have a few beers tonight."- I opened my mouth to say something, but Derek interrupted me.

- "Pretty boy is gonna get to work hungover again."

- "Shut up"- (Y/N) and I said at the same time, making everybody chuckle. I opened the present her friends had sent me and laughed right away.

- "Lucky Doc"- I read and took out of the bag a Sports Illustrated issue with Lila Archer on the cover. My cheeks turned red immediately.

- "Frank still hasn't overcome that story. I think he will hate you forever"- (Y/N) laughed (along with the rest of the team) and gave me another present.

- "They also sent you this. They said you were going to like the man in black"- it was a Johnny Cash's vinyl- "Frank picked it. He thinks he is some sort of musical psychic that can read people's taste in music."

- "We should get together and have a few beers one of these days. I need to thank them for these."

Gideon looked at me in silence as soon as I said those words. But I didn't care if he disapproved. I was going to be (Y/N)'s friend, whether he liked it or not.

He is the closest I've had to a dad in the latest years. He cares about me, and he tries to make the best of me that he can. Yes, he can be too apprehensive. I think that's a way to put it. But only because he wants me to be the best profiler I can be.

I never thought I would end up working at the BAU. I never thought I would love the job I do as much as I do. Back when I was in college, I thought I would dedicate my life to finding a cure for schizophrenia, but I ended up hunting serial killers across the country.

And though I was about to die, I didn't regret any of the decisions that led me there.

The morning found me shaking, cold, and scared. I was in a small cabin in the woods. Just like the worst and more cliché horror movie ever made. This was my own horror movie.

- "What are you staring at, boy?"- Tobias opened the front door carrying logs for the fire. His voice had changed yet again, so I knew it wasn't the same person I had talked to the night before.

- "You are not Raphael."- I whispered, looking at every movement he did.

- "Do I look like Raphael?"- had I insulted him? I couldn't tell. He turned to the fire, and I took a deep breath, doing my best to stay calm.

- "Thank you for burning those, for keeping us safe."- I said, looking at the fish hearts and livers he was preparing to put on the fire.

- "Don't try to trick me."

- "I would never try to trick you."

- "You are a liar."

- I'm not a liar."- it was hard to stay calm and not start screaming for help or mercy, but I knew that was going to take me nowhere with him.

- "Lying is a sin."

- "I'm not a liar."- he walked closer to me, and sat right in front of me, held my leg up, and grabbed my foot.

- "This will be over quickly if you just confess your sins."

- "I am not a sinner"- I whispered again. He took off my shoe.

- "We are all sinners."- it didn't look good for me, not at all, and I knew I had to talk to him with his words with his beliefs to save my life.

- "The Lord spake unto Moses saying "Speak unto all the congregation of the children of the lord" and say unto them, ye shall be holy, for I, the Lord your God, am holy."

Hankel, this time in the personality of his father, looked at me surprised. I might have done something right, 'cos he stopped moving, and for a second, I thought it was going to be ok.

- "You know Leviticus."

- "I know every word of the bible. I can recite it for you."- but his eyes turned dark again.

- "The devil knows how to read too."

- "I'm not a devil, I'm not a devil2- I repeated, and couldn't stop shaking, 'cos my life on the hands of a sociopath.

- "I'm a man, my name is Spencer Reid, and I have a mother, and I have a father just like you, and they taught me the bible, let me recite the bible."

My voice cracked at the knowledge of what he was going to do. He stood up, still holding my foot. He was going to torture me, he was going to try to break me, and I had to be strong. I didn't know how I would find the strength, but I had to be strong.

- "Time to confess, Spencer Reid"- and without further notice, he slapped a log against my foot, making me scream in pain. It hurt from the tip of my toes until the back of my skull. I hadn't felt that kind of pain, and it was worse knowing he was just getting started. Tears started falling down my cheeks in no time.

- "Confess!"

- "I don't have anything to confess."- I whimpered and closed my eyes, 'cos I knew he was going to continue his torture. And so he did. The pain was excruciating. I was sure I was going to pass out

I tried to go to a happy place in my head, somewhere when I could hide from all that pain. It was too hard, though. It hurt too much. I kept repeating over and over again I wasn't a sinner, begging Hankel for mercy, as he shouted I had to confess.

I made an effort to think about what he might want me to say. What did he want me to confess? Which sins was he talking about? But nothing came to my mind, nothing but the pain and the fear of dying.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The second we reached Hankel's cabin, I started looking for Spencer. I had a horrible feeling about it. Morgan and I headed it to a barn with Prentiss. There was no sign of anyone. It was dark and quiet. Never a good sign.

- "Shit!"- I whispered, staring at three dead dogs and a bath of blood in front of me. There laid the body of another victim that was missing from Hankel's last attack.

- "FBI!!"- JJ shouted suddenly. She was pointing his gun to us, clearly in shock- "Don't move!!"

- "JJ, it's Morgan, (Y/L/N), and Prentiss! Don't shoot"- Derek tried to calm her down, walking towards her- "Are you hurt?"- she lowered the gun and stared at us. You could read the fear and the trauma in her eyes.

- "Tobias Hankel is the unsub,"- she whispered as Prentiss rubbed her arm sweetly, trying to comfort her.

- "Yeah, we know"- I moved towards her too and put my gun back into the holster.

- "And we thought he was just a witness"- we looked around, and JJ pointed at the dead dogs.

- "JJ, where is Reid?"- Derek asked her, but she just continued talking.

- "They completely tore her apart"

- "JJ, look at me,"- I said and held her arm carefully- "Look at me, where's Reid?"- she was shaking, and her voice was cracking. I knew she was making her best effort to pull herself together.

- "We split up. He said he was going to go in the back."

And there it was. That was the reason why I had a bad feeling all along. Derek looked at me and nodded as we read each other's minds. The two of us turned around and ran outside, leaving JJ with Prentiss, waiting for the medical team and ambulance to check on her wounds.

Gideon and Hotch were inside the cabin, looking for Hankel, but there was no one there. And there was no sign of Reid behind the barn either, in the cornfield, or anywhere in the perimeter. Reid was nowhere to be found, and I started losing it little by little. I tried to repeat myself the words Hotch had said many times during my year in the BAU: "when you are out there with the team; your mind has to be one hundred percent on the case." But the case had never included my best friend missing before.

- "Hey, is there any sign of him yet?- I asked the police chief as I reached the ambulance. He was there talking with JJ, making sure she was ok.

- "We got every one of our units on the road. He won't make it far"- I nodded and watched him walk away. I knew he thought I was talking about Hankel, but I actually meant Reid.

I turned to JJ and moved a little closer to her. Her eyes open wide, staring back at me.

- "You can't find Reid?"- I just shook my head and tried to sound as casual as I could, not to freak her out. She was still in shock. I didn't want to make it worse.

- "Not yet"

- "(Y/N)"- Derek held my arm and forced me to walk away from the ambulance.- "Reid followed him into the cornfield. It looks like somebody got dragged."

My heart stopped. Did the psychopath hurt Spencer? Did he kill him? Did he torture him? Was he hurt? Was he alive? Where was he? Derek looked at me, and I nodded. I bit my lips and took a deep breath. Hotch's words were my mantra now: "your mind has to be one hundred percent on the case."

- "Are you sure?"- we turned to the police's chief, overhearing his conversation- "We are on our way now."

- "What's going on?"

- "The sheriff down two towns over, he just gave directions to a man who fit Hankel's descriptions. It's to a motor lodge in fort bend."

- "Let's get Hotch and Gideon"- Derek held my arm and walked with me to the cabin. We had to find Reid, and we had to do it fast.

That was the worst night of my life. The first worst night of my life, to be sincere. I didn't close an eye. I went through every paper, every note, every detail in that cabin, trying to find a clue that could lead us to where Tobias had taken Reid.

I felt someone had ripped my heart from my chest. I had to think straight, and to do it, I had to keep a cold head. But as the hours passed, it became a more demanding and more challenging task to complete. I knew the whole team was suffering, but that didn't ease my pain. And I knew JJ felt guilty, but that didn't stop me from blaming her in my mind. She left him alone. I would have never left Spencer alone on the field.

- "(Y/N), you should try to get some rest."

Derek whispered as he sat on the floor next to me, where I had been sitting for the last half hour, reading Tobias's old diaries. Nothing but fear of his father, mentions of Dilaudid use, and bible transcriptions.

- "I'm ok,"- I answered and didn't even take my eyes from the pages.

- "(Y/N), I mean it"

- "I'm not going to rest if he is out there in the hands of a psychopath, Derek"- I had to bite my lips and shut the fuck up, 'cos if I said one more word, I knew I was going to burst into tears.

Morgan just wrapped an arm around my shoulders and moved me closer to him. That was the first time I let him hug me, and it felt good to know I wasn't alone in my desperation. I knew he loved Reid like a brother, and neither of us was going to stop until we found him.

- "Welcome to our nightmare"- JJ's voice broke the silence we had been into for the last hour when Hotch walked into the cabin with Penelope.

It was morning already. There were still no signs of Reid. Prentiss, Gideon, JJ, and I had been sitting at the table, reading everything we could.

- "His computer is an extension of his brain. I need you to dissect it,"- Gideon whispered to García. You could feel the concern in his voice. She just nodded in shock and turned to Derek, who held her hand and helped her get set up in the computer room.

- "So, nothing new since I left?"- Hotch asked and looked at us. I just shook my head and continued reading.

- "Well, the good thing is the guy documented practically every second of his life"- Prentiss words took me from the pages I was reading. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. The concept of "good" was poorly used in that phrase.

- "The bad news is, we are still un-piling,"- she added and sighed.

- "From the looks of it, he hasn't left this place in years,"- JJ managed to say. She made her best effort to be useful, but she was in worse shape than everybody else. Yet, that didn't make me feel bad for her. I was mad at her and kept making my best to put it aside, 'cos my head had to be in the case.

- "He knew he could pretend to be looking for a motel and throw us off his trail,"- Emily inferred, but I shook my head as soon as I heard her.

- "No, no, no, it's more than that!"- I shook my head and took a deep breath- "Sheriff's office, 911 calls, every time he engages the police and gets away with it... he reassures himself, God's on his side. Not ours."- I added.

Gideon nodded, and we shared a moment of agreement. He was as worried as I was. I could feel it. I'm not saying the rest of the team wasn't, I'm saying Jason was as fucked up as I was, and I could sense he was having the same trouble I had making sure my head and not my sentiments were into the case.

But if anything happened to Reid, I didn't know what I was capable of doing.

At a certain point, I got sick of reading and not doing anything and decided to look around the house again if we had missed anything. Derek went along. One part of me felt he wanted to stay away from JJ too. Maybe he was as mad as I was about her leaving Reid alone. I know I couldn't blame her, but I did it anyway.

- "Guys!! I think I've got something!"- Derek yelled, and I ran over. He opened a door that led to a basement. I walked right behind him, pointing my gun and my flashlight all over. But there was no sign of Reid.

- "Tobias Hankel!!"- Morgan shouted. Someone was sitting in what looked to be a gigantic freezer- "Tobias!"- but we didn't get any response. I took a step closer and examined carefully.

- "Morgan, I think we just found Hankel's father."

Spencer's point of view

On my second night in that cabin, I met Tobias. The third personality of Hankel walked into the room, carrying what seemed to be a dead deer. He looked as frightened as I was.

- "You need to eat."

- "What's your name?"

- "Tobias."

- "Tobias, who was here before?"

- "Probably my father."

He looked at me up and down, and he immediately understood what he had done to me. It was scary how he could dissociate. Someone with multiple personality disorder is usually unaware of the other personality states and memories when an alter is dominant. In this case, Tobias knew the other personalities but considered them different persons. He didn't think they were all in his head.

- "I'm sorry if he hurt you."

He looked at me like he understood everything I had been going through. Maybe he had been through something similar when his father was alive. Perhaps he had been a victim of Hankel as well, and that's what triggered his psychopathic nature.

He walked over and took out his belt.

- "What are you doing?"- he wrapped it around my arm, and I started begging him to stop.

- "It helps"- he took out of his pocket a needle and a small bottle of what seemed to be some kind of drug.

- "Don't tell my father. He doesn't know they are here."

- "Please, I don't want it, I don't want it, please"- I cried and begged.

- "It helps. I know"- it was the last thing Tobias said before the needle found my vein.

And he was right. It helped. Every single amount of pain I was feeling disappeared. My brain shut down. Somehow, everything was ok. I never had in my entire life felt so good before.

My mind kept flashing memories of when I was a kid. I kept seeing images of the day my father left and how he called my mother crazy.

- "You are weak"- mom spit those words after he refused to take me with him. I know she said it not because she didn't want me with her, but because mom knew she was sick and wanted the best for me. And he refused.

- "I'm not weak."- I whispered as I looked at her smiling back at me.

- "I know, honey."

I don't know how long I was drugged, but when I woke up, Tobias wasn't there with me anymore. It was his father.

And the torture continued.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Gideon was trying to convince me to go out with Prentiss and JJ to see a Narcotics anonymous's contact that might give us more information about Tobias. Emily had found some flyers about it in his room, and it could be the only lead we had to find him and Reid.

- "You need to get out of this house for a while"- he whispered and tapped on my back.

I knew he wasn't the one to be loving or physical with people, less with me. But that moved me. I turned to him and my eyes watered up. I was scared, and I couldn't hide it anymore. The more hours passed, the fewer the chances were to find Spencer safe. Alive.

I felt his arms around me suddenly, holding me tight, trying to keep the pieces of me together. We were alone on the porch, and though I didn't want to fall apart, I couldn't hold it anymore.

Jason didn't say a word. He just hugged me and let me cry for a few minutes. I didn't say anything either. I actually couldn't because I was overwhelmed with everything.

- "Are you ready, (Y/N)?"

Prentiss whispered as she walked over with JJ. I turned my back at them for a second to hide the tears that kept falling down my cheeks. I knew it was a shitty thing to do, 'cos it was obvious I had been sobbing, but they gave me the courtesy of not saying anything.

- "You go, I need (Y/N)'s assistance with some diary entries"- the two of them walked away quietly, and thankfully, didn't argue with Gideon.

- "Thank you,"- I whispered and felt his hand on my shoulder one more time.

- "You are doing a fantastic job,"- he said and turned around.

I wish I could tell you that made me feel better, but instead, I just thought I had the duty to bring my friend back home safe.

It had been at least an hour since the girls left. Morgan, Hotch, Gideon, and the police chief were in the living room with me, reading. I sipped my hundredth cup of coffee and re-read the same diary entry for the third time.

- "There's something weird going on here."- I thought out loud and walked towards Gideon

- "You think?"- the police chief turned to me and raised an eyebrow, ironically.

- "No, seriously, check this out. This journal is filled with religious ramblings. He notated hour by hour: "November 15th, 3:17, if ye offer a sacrifice of peace offering unto the Lord, ye shall offer it at your own will", and it goes on and on: 5:04, 7:41, 10:22, 1:42."

I made a short pause and looked at Gideon and Hotch. They didn't get where I was going.

- "But then, it goes blank for days."

- "Maybe he got sick of writing"- I seriously hated that police chief.

- "I think I got it"- Hotch whispered- "Journal entry: "December 6th. Father is sick. He wants me to put him down. I say thou shalt not kill. He said, honor thy father. Must pray for guidance."

- "So he kills his father as an act of mercy?"- Gideon asked, knowing the answer.

- "This is two months ago. Tobias Hankel's father had been dead for four months already."

- "That's exactly it"- I murmured, thinking Tobias Hankel was way more fucked up than we thought.

- "Look at the floor"- Derek pointed at a chair and moved it- "These scuffs marks are fresh. It's like two people were pushing the chairs constantly, trying to fight for control."

- "So?"- I swear to God, that chief was driving me insane.

- "This journal matches Charles Hankel's handwriting, but it was written after he died"- I explained. Still, it felt he wasn't following me.

- "What do you mean?"

- "Upstairs, Tobias' bedroom got junk piled from floor to ceiling, but the other bedroom could pass a military inspection."

- "So, are you telling me one of Tobias' personalities was his father?"

Apparently, I had to draw a picture so the chief would get it. Fortunately, Gideon continued explaining the whole problem before I lost what was left of my patience.

- "Well, Tobias was raised with a strict religious code, black and white, right and wrong. When his father asked Tobias to kill him, something had to give."

- "His brain couldn't handle the moral contradiction, so he split into two personalities to keep his father alive."

Hotch tried to put it most easy and simple words possible.

- "So, who is Raphael?"

- "My guess, he is a mediator between the two"- Gideon nodded at my words and sighed.

- "Angels have no human emotions, live or die. They don't care, as long it's God's will."

- "We need to start profiling Tobias' father. He may be the one who chose where to take Reid."

Finally, I felt we were going somewhere.

When Emily and JJ came back, they gave us the news. Tobias was addicted to Dilaudid, which explained the fracture in his mind, and how he lived with three distinct personalities.

The police chief announced a computer store robbery, giving us some hopes that Tobias would use them to track him down.

- "Guys!! Guys!! get in here!!- I heard Derek shouting and I ran to the computer room. I felt sick in the stomach in less than a second. There he was, Spencer. My Spencer Walter Reid, tied to a chair, bleeding, shoeless. Clearly tortured.

- "He's been beating,"- I whispered, feeling my eyes water up. I would have given anything to be there instead of him.

- "Can you track him?!"- JJ yelled by my side, and I nearly smacked her. That's how sensitive I was feeling.

- "Hankel's only streaming this to his home computer."- Garcia whispered. And my heart dropped with those words.

That wasn't what I was supposed to hear. We were supposed to find him and bring him back safe.

- "This is for us"- Gideon didn't take his eyes from the screen- "He knows we are here."

- "I'm gonna put this guy's head on a stick"- Morgan was so mad I believed him. I wanted to do the same, if worse.

- "I'm gonna kill him myself as soon as we find him,"- I said and felt Aaron's hand on my shoulder as he asked Garcia

- "Why can't you locate him?"

- "He's rerouting to a different IP address every 30 seconds. I can't track him."

It knew it had to be hard if Penelope couldn't find her, but that didn't help. If anything, it made everything worse. I felt powerless. Hankel couldn't be more intelligent than us.

Spencer's point of view

- "Are you ready, boy?"- Hankel pulled my hair and forced me to look at him. I was still as high as fuck, but knew I was about to be tortured again.

- "Ready for what?"

- "My weakling son thinks God gave you to him for a reason"- if the reason was to get me into drugs, then the answer was yes.

Hankel placed a video camera in front of me.

- "Can you really see inside men's minds?"- he asked me and made a pause, pointing to three screens- See these vermin?

It took me a second to realize he was showing me images of real people. He had put cameras in those people's houses. How? When? What kind of sick game did he want me to play with him?

- "Choose one to die. I let you choose one to live."

- "No"- I didn't even think about my answer.

- "I thought you wanted to be some kind of savior."

- "You are a sadist and a psychotic break. You won't stop killing. Your word is not true."

I don't know if it was because of the drugs or because I hadn't eaten or drank any water in too long, but I was somehow resigned and tired of fighting.

- "The other heathens are watching- Hankel announced and pointed at the camera in front of me."

My eyes fixated on the camera right away. My team was watching me. (Y/N) was watching me. I didn't want to make her worry even more. I needed her to know I was ok. I know I wasn't, but I didn't want her to worry about me.

- "Choose a sinner to die, and I'll say the name and address of the person to be saved"- Hankel was sick. It was all a game, and religion was just an excuse to kill.

- "I won't get to choose who gets slaughtered and have you leave their remains behind like a poacher."

Hankel didn't like my answer, 'cos he grabbed me and pulled me up, looking into my eyes, insulted, annoyed, losing his temper.

- "Can you really see into my mind, boy?"

He was honestly scary, and it petrified me to think he could execute me right there, in front of the team, and I could never tell them how much they mean.

- "Can you see I'm not a liar?!"- he insisted. I nearly whimpered but made my best not to break- "Choose one to die and save a life. Otherwise, they are all dead."

He dropped me on the chair and turned around. It was clear he wasn't joking. I took a deep breath and nodded.

- "Alright, I'll choose who lives."

- "They are all the same"

My eyes traveled across all the monitors. It was nearly impossible to pick one person to live, knowing all the other people there would die. Hankel was sick, and I had to set a plan to escape because otherwise, I would end up dead.

- "Far right screen,"- I whispered. He turned around and nodded.

Then, he recited the name and address of the woman on the screen. I prayed for the team to find her before Hankel came after her too.

No. It wasn't Hankel this time.

- "Raphael,"- I whispered, and he nodded. I looked at the screen again. The woman we were watching picked up the phone. She was in her kitchen. He walked around, frowned, and turned to her computer. In a second, she had turned it off. My team had reached her. She was safe, I hoped.

Hankel turned the camera off and looked at me.

- "You've done your part. Now it's my turn."

I knew what that meant. It wasn't good.

He left the cabin, and all I could see were the monitors in front of me. Those people were going to die. They were going to die because I didn't pick them. I killed them. You don't need to pull a trigger to kill someone. I could never forget those words. And this time, they meant more than anytime before. I didn't press a trigger, but I had killed two innocent people. And I actually had to watch them die.

When I saw Rapahel walk into the victims' house, I tried to close my eyes and think of anything else. A part of me kept thinking he wasn't going to kill them. He just wanted to threaten me.

But not. Raphael slaughtered them.

I found myself craving whatever it was that Tobias had given me the night before. The drug in my veins had given me a kind of peace I had never felt. And I never thought I'd have either. The type of peace that can be addictive, 'cos it turns your head off. And God knows, sometimes I needed to turn my head off.

Remembering everything that has ever happened to me, especially all the awful things, wasn't a gift. It was a burden. And whatever it was that Tobias had put in my veins, it had taken that burden from my shoulders, at least for a couple of hours.

Who wouldn't want some more of that peace?

- "Reid!"- Gideon's voice took me from my thoughts. He was sitting right in front of the camera in the victim's house. He was there with Hotch and the police, investigating the crime scene.

- "If you are watching this, you are not responsible for this. You understand me? he is perverting God to justify murder. You are stronger than him. He can not break you."

I know he meant it. But I couldn't believe any of that, not after watching a family get slaughter just because I didn't pick them.

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "I thought you were going to try and get some rest,"- I said as JJ walked to me in silence. I made myself my hundredth cup of coffee, and she just showed up next to me, trying to engage in conversation, I guess.

- "Everybody else is working. I should be too."

- "We can handle it,"- I whispered and refused to look at her. I swear I was trying not to hate her, but it was getting harder and harder with every hour that passed without finding Reid.

- "It's funny, I keep thinking the one thing we need to crack this case is... well... Reid"- she chuckled, nervously and I just looked at her and nodded. I didn't even smile. I didn't move a muscle.

I didn't want to be with her, or anyone, as a matter of fact. And I wasn't going to hide it anymore. So I tried to walk away.

- "You think Reid and I should have stayed together at the barn, don't you?"

I stopped walking and looked at her. You could tell she was having a hard time facing the whole situation, and most of all, you could tell she felt guilty.

That really didn't stop me from being mad at her. I was trying to be the better woman during the investigation, but the uncertainty was getting on my nerves.

- "JJ, go get some rest,"- I tried to answer calmly, but I knew I was looking at her like she was dead to me.

- "I can tell that's what you are thinking, so..."

- "I just wanna get Spencer home safe."

- "But... if I had his back like I was supposed to do, he'd be here now"- and that was enough.

- "JJ, what the fuck do you want from me?"

- "I just...."- she was about to cry, you could tell- "I want someone to tell me the truth."

- "You want the truth? Ok, there you go: I would have never left him alone. None of this would have happened if I had been the one with him out there! 'cos I would never let anyone or anything hurt him!!"

I shouted. All the anger I had been feeling those days was finally getting off my chest. And fuck, it felt good.

- "You fucked it up, JJ, and if something happens to Spencer, I am never going to forgive you, never!"

JJ bit her lips, trying her best not to cry. But I still couldn't feel sorry for her.

- "Is that the truth you were looking for?"

- "(Y/L/N)?"- Hotch stood next to me with the most annoyed look in his eyes.

I knew I was out of line, but this wasn't about work anymore. This was personal. This was Reid we were talking about, and JJ had fucked it up. There was nothing to discuss.

- "What? You sent him with her, now she is here, and he isn't. What else is there to say?"

- "(Y/N)!"- Hotch followed me as I stormed out of the kitchen and out of the cabin- "(Y/N)! stop!"

- "What?!"- and I simply snapped- "Are you gonna suspend me for telling her the truth? Are you going to fire me for losing my shit while working a case!? Fine! I don't care! I don't give a fuck! All I care about right now is that my best friend is missing, and a fucking psychopath has him! That's all I can think of. That's all I've been thinking about for the last two days!"

I was yelling at Hotch. I was yelling at my unit chief. I was fucked. I knew he was going to fire me after that. But I couldn't help it. I was going insane. Tears kept falling from my eyes as I held my cup of coffee tight, holding onto it with my life.

- "(Y/N), we are all worried about Reid."

- "I know you are all worried. I am too, and I'm also afraid and mad and going fucking insane knowing I am standing here not knowing what to do to save him."

- "That doesn't give you the right to treat JJ like this is her fault"- I don't know if he was talking like my unit chief or like a father figure trying to end a fight between two of his kids.

- "Did she stay with Reid?"- I simply replied and looked at Hotch in the eyes- "Did she?"

- "She is not the only one who feels guilty, so do I. And I know I won't forgive myself if anything happens to Reid."

Hotch made a pause and tried to find a way to say what he wanted to say. The door opened, and Gideon walked to us. He knew what was going on, and he didn't say a thing. I was sure he had already heard everything. We weren't actually arguing quietly.

- "We are not getting any closer,"- Aaron finally said.

- "Reid is brilliant. He'll figure out how to survive"- Gideon's words were way more hopeful than my thoughts. In my mind, Reid was too scared to think of a way to escape.

- "You know, I always take advantage of Reid for his brain. But I never actually teach him how to deal with things emotionally."

Hotch whispered, and his words were filled with regret. I was filled with anger and anxiety, and I know the two of them felt the same. But they way better at handling their feelings.

- "Lead by example,"- Jason answered, probably trying to make him feel better.

- "What kind of example is that?"- I simply replied, and both of them stayed in silence.

I don't think my words helped Hotch, but I wasn't trying to do that either. I was just honest. And Hotch's emotional assistance was shit on the field. Even Gideon was better.

- "He'll make it,"- Jason reassured us and nodded- "Now stop arguing and go back to work."

Spencer's point of view

I was glad when Tobias came to me that night with a needle in his hand and put the drug into my vein. I needed some release after watching a family die 'cos I didn't save them.

- "I'm sorry I had to leave"- he excused himself, preparing the drug next to me.

- "You can leave again, and you can take me with you,"- I begged in a soft voice.

- "My father would be angry,"- he replied and didn't even look at me. This time, I didn't even argue when he wrapped the belt around my arm. I was even a little eager he'd do it faster.

- "Not if he can't find us."

- "He always finds me."

- "If you tell me where we are, my friends will come, and they'll save us."

He gave me a look, mixed with horror and resignation. It broke my heart to think for a moment of all the horrors that lead Tobias to be as sick as he was.

- "We can't be saved,"- he simply replied.

- "We can, we can, I promise. If you tell me where we are, I'll save us both."

- "Listen to me. It's not worth fighting."

Somehow, I understood why he said that. I was afraid and shaking but still did my best not to think of all the pain I was in, of the terror that haunted me day and night.

- "Tell me it doesn't make it better- he said and showed me the needle."

I couldn't say no, 'cos he was right. It did. The drugs made his horrible situation bearable. I could understand why someone decided to use something to avoid the pain. I had faced all and each one of the pain and horrors in my life sober. It was time life was a little bit sweeter, in a sick way.

I remembered being twelve. Mom had had one of her episodes the day before, she was in bed, and I woke her up. I walked into her room and opened the curtains. It was already five in the afternoon, and she still refused to get out of bed.

- "The doctor says you need to get out of bed,"- I argued when she repeated she was just resting.

- "I've been reading"

- "He says you need exercise"- she sighed and tried to make a joke.

- "That's because his idea of good literature is Our bodies, ourselves."

- "Well, he is your doctor."

- "He is a neanderthal"- I gave up and started walking out of the room. She just laid in bed and looked at me.

- "Where are you going?"

- "I'm going to see if Jeff wants to play"- Jeff was our next-door neighbor and my only friend growing up.

- "Come here. Let me read to you."

I know Garcia made fun of me when I said my mother used to read me Valentine's sonnets when I was a kid. Most people think I have a weird relationship with mom, but they don't understand what it was like growing up with her. They don't know what it was like for a twelve-year-old boy to finish high school, facing bullies. Handling the pressure of being a kid genius and the fact I had to take care of a schizophrenic mother.

How come I didn't start using drugs earlier?

I remember that afternoon I sat next to my mother, and she made me pick one of the many books she had with her on the bed. I choose Proust. I knew she loved it. I loved it as well.

"For a long time, I used to go to bed early. Sometimes, when I had put out my candle, my eyes would close so quickly that I had not even time to say, "I'm going to sleep."

I can still hear her voice, reading to me. Both of us avoided reality for a while, hiding in the books. I always do it regardless. I hide in the books to forget. I hide in knowledge to avoid acknowledging the real personal issues I have. I hide in my work saving people when no one ever saved me.

I work catching psychopaths when I know I might actually have a mental issue myself. I might end up just like mom, and it frightens me so much; there are many nights I can't even close an eye. If I get sick too, then no one will take care of her. I am the only one in her life. And she is the only one in mine.

She and (Y/N), but there is no way my best friend would ever take care of me if I got sick. Not because she wouldn't want to do it, but because I would never let her. I don't want to be a burden in her life. And she would hate me, I know. And I could never live in a world where (Y/N) hates me. Not then, not now.

(Y/N). She is the best thing that happened to me in the BAU. Yes, I had a family with my team, but she was different. She was my life. She was the reason why I smiled. She was the one person that made me feel I was important to someone. I knew the rest of my friend loved me, but I loved her.

That was it. I loved (Y/N). And I was scared I was never going to see her again.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I was standing next to Penelope. She kept trying to force me to eat. She knew I was living on coffee, but I just couldn't swallow anything. She held my hand as the two of us stared at the screens, hopefully waiting for Hankel to make contact again.

- "Any more signs of Reid?"- JJ walked over to us slowly and looked at me, afraid I might snap on her again. I just shook my head and sighed, doing my best to be nice to her.

- "He just posted the last murder online."

- "It had over 17 thousand hits in the first twenty minutes,"- Penelope added, and her voice was so full of revulsion. It was clear she couldn't handle the horror in the human mind.

- "I want to see it,"- JJ said, and I frowned, confused.

- "No, you don't,"- Garcia answered and looked at me- "Come on, munchkin, just eat one cookie, please."

- "Don't tell me what I want and don't want!"- JJ's tone shocked us both. She was severe and angry. She was rude at Penelope, and for a second, I almost snapped again.

- "If I can't watch this..."- JJ whispered and glued her eyes on the screen- "I have no business being in the field."

She looked at me when she was done talking, and for once during those awful days, I felt some kind of compassion for her. She had to be feeling like shit, no doubt, and no matter how mad I was at her, she was still my friend, and I didn't want her to suffer either.

- "JJ, it's not a competition,"- I tried to say in the softest voice possible.

- "I... I need to see it."

- "If you stop being affected by things, you lose parts of yourself, you know."

It was somehow ironic that I was the one saying those things. Me of all people in that team. Me, the one who was afraid the most of losing herself in work.

- "Show me"- she finally looked at Garcia, ignoring my words, and Penelope pleased her. She pushed play and simply said

- "I won't watch this with you."

García held my hand, walking me out of the room, leaving JJ alone in the room. She sighed and wiped the tears that started falling down her eyes.

- "I don't know how you do it either"- she whispered- "I don't know how you watch those things every day and don't go insane."

- "If it makes you feel better, I don't know how I do either, and it scared me to think my heart might be numbing with each case we solve. With every psychopath we catch."

- "We are gonna find him"- she assured me and held my hands tight- "We are bringing him home safe, I swear."

- "Let's go find Gideon,"- I said, nodding at her words- "He needs to know Tobias posted the last murder."

Jason was mad, beyond furious. He was losing it. Derek and Prentiss kept trying to crack Hankel and discover where he had taken Reid. Meanwhile, Garcia, Gideon, and I made our best to take the video of the murder from the web.

- "I have a list of everyone from the file-sharing chain. I could send out a mass warning that the video is actually a virus,"- Garcia said and started typing as fast as possible. I just stared at the screen, waiting for something, anything to happen.

But I wasn't waiting for what came next.

- "Confess your sins"- Hankel's voice made me jump, and the sight of Reid, still tied to that chair, bleeding, and being tortured, broke my heart again.

- "Confess!!"- that sick psychopath shouted and hit him.

- "I haven't done anything,"- Spencer sobbed, but it was useless. Hankel kept punching him, over and over again, even when my best friend begged for mercy.

I felt Jason hold my hand as I was holding Garcia's. The three of us felt powerless, useless, angry, and scared, all at the same time. I couldn't bear to watch Reid being tortured, but at the same time, I was so glad he was still alive.

That until Hankel beat him so hard, he pushed him back in the chair, and Reid started convulsing.

- "He is killing him,"- Penelope cried, and I closed my eyes, biting my lips. Spencer was choking, and that mother fucker just stood there, watching him die.

- "That's the devil vacating your body"- he spit those words as Reid simply passed out. I didn't know if he was dead. I didn't know if he was going to make it. Shit! I didn't know anything.

I let go of Jason and Penelope and stormed out of the room. I was unprofessional, and I knew it, but I knew I would quit if anything happened to Reid. I wasn't going to stay working at the BAU if Spencer died.

- "Are you ok?"- Derek grabbed my arm. I just broke into tears and held him tight. He wrapped his arms around me and let me cry.

- "He's dying! We can't find him!!"- I sobbed against his chest.

- "(Y/N)! (Y/N)!"- I heard Penelope yelling as we all rushed back to the computer room. Hankel was giving CPR to Reid, trying to bring him back to life.

- "Come on, come on, please,"- I begged as I watched him pushing his chest over and over again until Spencer woke up, gasping for air.

- "Thank God!"- Hotch sighed and rubbed his hands against his face. The whole team let out a breath of relief simultaneously, and I kept watching Reid. His opened eyes gave me hope.

- "Wait,"- Prentiss said suddenly- "When was the video of the last murder posted?"

- "Nine thirty"- Penelope answered

- "And when was the time of death?"

- "The 911 call came in at 9:04, and the murder must have been moments later."- Hotch added and didn't even turn to look at Prentiss. We were all still shocked looking at the screen.

- "That's just a 19 minutes difference,"- I said and turned to García- "How long would it take to post that file?"

- "Two or three minutes."

- "Let's call it two,"- I said, getting excited- "You figure a maximum of 60 miles an hour in a residential area. That means Hankel has to be within a 17-mile radius of the crime scene."

For a second, I felt I was rambling facts just like Reid would. It made me miss him even more.

- "García, can we see it on the map?"- Aaron whispered. He was clearly affected, and it also made me feel selfish, knowing I had made a tantrum with the whole team, forgetting they were suffering as well.

- "Call chief Farraday"- Jason commanded as soon as we saw the map of the area on the screen- "I want that area locked down like it's martial law."

JJ stood up and grabbed her phone but didn't make the call. García warned us something was going on with Reid and all of us stared at the screen in silence.

Spencer was on his back on the floor, still tied to a chair. It was clear he wasn't fully conscious of what was happening.

- "You came back to life,"- mother fucker Hankel said, spitting the words in anger.

- "Raphael,"- Reid whispered, recognizing one of his personalities.

- "There can be only one of two reasons."

- "I was given CPR,"- my friend whispered, but it was clear that wasn't one of the psycho's options.

- "There are no accidents. How many members of our team are watching us right now?"

- "Seven."

- "The seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound. The first sounding followed hail, and they were thrown to the earth."

- "He thinks it's the revelations"- Hotch explained- "The seven archangels versus the seven angels of death."

I didn't know much about religion, but it didn't take a genius to figure out he didn't believe we were the good guys.

- "Tell me who you serve."

- "I serve you,"- Reid answered right away. His voice was a whisper. He had to be exhausted.

- "Then choose one to die"

- "What?!"

- "Your team members, choose one to die"- I knew what he was going to answer at that, and I didn't want to hear it.

- "Kill me,"- he replied immediately, and I closed my eyes, unable to watch what would happen next.

- "You said you weren't one of them."

- "I lied."

- "Your team has seven other members. Tell me who dies."

- "No"- Penelope gasped, and Prentiss cursed. I opened my eyes and nearly fainted. Hankel had a gun pointed against Reid's forehead.

The silence amongst the team was unbearable. Neither of us knew what to do. We were all panicking, praying, desperate.

- "Choose and prove you'll do God's will."

- "No."

Neither of us moved. Neither of us breathed until Hakel pulled the trigger, and no bullet came out. I nearly sigh, but it wasn't over.

- "Choose"- he repeated

- "I won't do it"- Hankel didn't even wait. He just pulled the trigger, and we all jumped at the same time. He was safe again.

- "Life is a choice."

- "No,"- Reid repeated once again. And Hankel pulled the trigger for the third time.

- "Choose"- and for the first time, Spencer made a pause. Was going to pick one of us to die?

- "I choose"- the whispered- "Aaron Hotchner."

Derek and I looked at him, and his pale face didn't move a muscle.

- "He's the classic narcissist. He thinks he's better than everyone else on the team. Genesis 23:4 "Let him not deceive himself, and trust in emptiness, vanity falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense."

Hotch stormed out of the room as Hankel pulled the trigger one more time and shot the wall.

I felt I was going to puke. If Reid hadn't picked one of us, he would be dead.

- "For God's will,"- the mother fuck said, as he put another bullet in the gun after removing the casing.

I couldn't look anymore. I followed Gideon and Derek to find Aaron going through all Tobias's diaries on the table.

- "I'm not a narcissist,"- he said as soon as he saw us.

- "Come on. Look, you can't think anything from that"- Jason tried to calm him down, in case he was somehow affected by what Reid had just said on camera- "He is not in his right mind, Hotch."

- "No, stop, stop. Alright, everybody, right now: what's my worst quality?"

He had to be kidding. We all stared at him, muted, lost in that conversation. What was his point? Neither of us said a word. We just looked at each other, confused and awkward.

- "Ok, I'll start. I have no sense of humor."

- "You are a bully,"- JJ added.

- "You can be a drill sergeant sometimes,"- I said, and he nodded.

- "Right."

- "You don't trust women as much as men"- you could feel it in Prentiss's voice. That one was personal.

- "Ok, good. I'm all these things, but none of you said that I ever put myself above the team because I don't, ever. Reid and I argued about the definition of classic narcissism, and he knew that I would remember that. He also quoted Genesis chapter 23, verse 4. Read it."

Hotch gave me the book. He wasn't even breathing as she spoke. He was in a hurry. We were all.

- "I'm a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you that I may bury my dead of my sight."

- "He wouldn't get it wrong unless it were on purpose."

- "He is in a cemetery."- I said and looked at him. He nodded, and I swear to God, I saw a slight smile on his lips. That smile was hope. We were getting closer.

Spencer's point of view

I took a sip of water. I hadn't drunk in days, and my throat burned. I was still a little lost, still a little off.

- "Tobias, is that you?"- I saw him nod, sitting next to me. He moved the cup of water closer so that I could drink some more.

- "Thank you,"- I whispered and looked at him- You saved my life- he stared down at the ground and finally whispered

- "I'm sorry."

- "Why?"

- "He'll win in the end."

It was sad to see Tobias Hankel's good person locked inside a sick mind that also held a psychopath like his father.

- "Tobias, I need to know something. It's important. Are we in a cemetery?"- and he nodded. I smiled at him and sighed, relieved. Help was coming. My team was coming.

- "I used to come here to get high."

- "I was right."

- "No one bothers you here. I never told anyone about it."

He wrapped his belt around my arm, and I turned to him, still smiling. I didn't know if I were happy I was right or glad I would get high again. Maybe both. Maybe the second 'cos the minute that needle got to my vein, that sweet, sweet release felt like a bath of joy that washed away any pain, regret, or guilt I could have ever felt.

Guilt. I've had my share of that. I remember the day I had my mom admitted to the hospital. She hadn't eaten in days. She wouldn't take care of herself, and they're just so much I could do. I wasn't able to keep her safe from herself, from her mind.

- "What are these men doing here?"- she asked me as I walked with two nurses into the study. She was writing and reading. It was all she did, preparing lectures for classes she didn't have to give, in imaginary campuses.

I stood in front of her and hesitated for a second. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, telling mom I was taking her away from her own house.

- "They are from the hospital. They are here to help,"- I whispered and looked at my mother's confused expression. She was so thin. She looked so sick. I felt so guilty I couldn't do better for her.

- "I don't need help, and you can't be here without permission, tell them, Spencer."

She looked down at her books again and tried to continue writing. I took a deep breath, I knew I would break her heart, but there was nothing else I could do.

- "I called them"- she looked at me in pain. Deep, honest pain. Like I had just shattered her heart. Which I had done.

- "Spencer"- she simply whispered and stared into my eyes, begging for an explanation. I was trying my best not to cry. I had a whole speech prepared. I was going to tell her how much I loved her. I was going to explain to her how good it was for her to be in a place where someone could continuously take care of her. I had facts and statistics, but all I managed to say was:

- "I'm doing this for you."

And I felt like a liar. 'Cos, there was a part of me that was doing it for myself too.

- "This isn't legal"- she shook her head in shock and kept trying to find a good explanation to what was going on.

- "Your son is eighteen, ma'am. He can act in your welfare,"- one of the make nurses explained to her.

- "You need help,"- I said and prayed she could understand. But she just burst into tears and begged.

- "I wanna stay here!"

- "I'm... sorry, mom."

- "Please, these are my things, this is my life..."

Those men took her. They took her from her house and put her in a hospital. No. I put her there. I put my mom in a hospital so I could live my life, 'cos I am selfish and couldn't take care of her anymore.

- "Spencer, please, don't do this to me."

Those were the words that haunted me day and night. And my mother's crying face, begging me not to take her from her own house.

What kind of a son am I? I did that to her. I put her in a mental place 'cos I couldn't deal with her disease anymore. 'Cos I didn't know how to take care of her.

- "What are you sorry for, boy?"- I heard Hankel ask when I woke up. I was muttering, "Sorry" as I came back from my trip.

- "I sent her away."

- "Who."

- "My mom. I couldn't help her."

- "Is that a confession?"- I nodded and looked around, confused. Lost. High- "You know the bible. Exodus 21:17"

- "And he that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death,"- I whispered, scared and full of regret.

I heard him walk towards me. He kneeled and uncuffed me. I didn't know what was happening. Honestly, I was still too high to get what was going on around me.

- "Grab a shovel,"- he commanded and walked outside.

I was too weak to dig fast. I don't know how I was actually moving, but I was digging my own grave. I never thought I would ever end up doing such a thing. It's not something you think about, actually. Not unless you work in the BAU. Here, you start analyzing and considering the way you'll die: 'Cos you could, every day.

- "I ought to bury you alive in there, give you some time to think about what you've done,"- Hankel said and looked at me while I worked, playing with a knife.

- "I know what I've done."

- "Don't talk back to me! Dig!"

I pant and kept moving, very slowly, trying to buy myself some time too. I was sure the team was coming to get me any minute now. I was counting on them, though the more I thought about it, the less worthy of salvation I felt. Maybe I deserved to die after all.

I was almost certain I had seen some lights moving in the back. Flashlights. But it could be my mind playing tricks on me. I was too tired. And still too high, too.

- "Dig faster!"- he commanded me as I moved, losing my breath.

- "I'm not strong enough"- I cried, 'cos I felt like that. Like a failure, a child that aimed to be a grown-up and failed miserably. A bad son. The worst agent. A fake that deserved to die.

- "You are all weak!! Get out of there!"

Hankel took off his coat and left it on the ground. I slowly moved so he could dig for me, but the lights in the back took my attention, and he noticed. As soon as he turned around, I quickly grabbed his coat and reached out for the gun.

- "You've only got one bullet, son,"- he said as he looked at me. And I just pulled the trigger.

I shot him. I killed him. Hankel. Raphael. Tobias. I freed Tobias. Or at least, that is what I wanted to think.

- "Reid!!"- I heard (Y/N) yelling as I crawled to Tobia's body. He was still awake. He was himself.

- "You killed him"- he said, and he was relieved- "Do you think I'll get to see my mom again?"

- "I'm sorry,"- I whispered, and he was gone.

- "Reid!!"

(Y/N) yelled and ran over. She kneeled next to me and held me in her arms. I couldn't move, because for a few seconds, I couldn't believe she was real. She was there.

- "Honey, honey, are you ok? Can you hear me?"- she said, and tears started falling from her eyes- "Honey, it's me."

I just looked at her and hugged her. I hugged her as my life depended on it. There she was, next to me, finally.

- "I thought I was never going to see you again,"- I whispered and sobbed.

The urge to kiss her filled my whole body. I needed to taste her. I needed to show her how much I had needed her those days. But I knew I couldn't.

I didn't want to let her go. I didn't for a few minutes. I just hold onto her for my sanity. She kissed my forehead, cupping my face with both hands.

- "I'm so happy to see you. I'm glad you are ok... let's go to the ambulance, ok?"- I nodded but didn't let her go. I felt I could hold her forever. I wanted to keep her close for as long as I lived.

But the rest of the team gathered around us, and I wanted to thank them too. I needed to thank Hotch. So as soon as I let (Y/N) go, I wrapped my arms around him.

- "You alright?"- he asked me.

- "I knew you'd understand,"- I managed to say with tears falling from my eyes and a knot in my throat.

For a moment, I thought I was never going to see the team again. My family.

JJ held me close and apologized. I knew she felt guilty for leaving me alone, but I was the only one culpable for what had happened. I wanted to prove myself, and all I managed to do was prove I was a fool. A useless SSA.

- "It's alright, it wasn't your fault,"- I said and did my best to smile at her. But I know I failed. Gideon grabbed my arm and nodded.

- "Let's get you out of here."

- "Please,"- I whispered before we started walking- "Can I have a second alone?"- he looked at me and nodded, looking at Tobias' body lying by our side. He walked away, and I kneeled next to my capturer.

But instead of paying my respects, instead of cursing. Instead of anything, I took the Dilaudid bottles from his pocket and put them into mine.

And that's how the real hell started.

--

DIWK Taglist:

@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @svveet-peas @muffin-cup @shilohpug

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962

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Next update: May 5th, 2021