#we've lost sight of what communities are supposed to do for each other and how we're supposed to help each other

[mac-n-cheese-flavored-arson]

people with hoarding based disorders deserve respect and compassion too, yall see hoarder houses and get grossed out and say things like "how could you let it get that bad" but yall dont really see us as people or even think about how hard it is for us to live in these conditions all the time, I guarantee you that the shame and guilt and hopelessness that we feel living like this (not to mention the genuinely unsafe conditions sometimes making us and our pets and loved ones sick) is far far worse than how disgusted you feel seeing it

[microwavedlion]

guess whooooo ! 🎤🐍

my favorite part of the experience (not really a specific part of tit so not a spoiler for anyone that sees this) was that it just made it so clear how much they love us and each other and it warms my heart that the phandom has come this far and it truly feels like a phamily :))

im sorry to hear about your scholarship ! hopefully you can get it back, and i hope with all of my heart that you can get any resources you need to do whats right for you. im actually taking this semester off doing online courses at a community college in my hometown, but next semester i'll go back to my university and try to pick up where i left off. school isn't for everyone, i'm coming to learn, but unfortunately it feels required 😫

i only started listening to muse maybe 2 months ago at most and they've quickly racked up minutes on my spotify. i wouldn't be surprised if they came out at number 1 despite the odds. i cant believe ive gone like 8 years in the phandom without giving a proper listen to them, besides uprising. i suppose the current fixation is the best i can do to make up for lost time 💪

chinese is so cool omg. ive never tried learning it but from my understanding it's rather complicated. i understand spanish as i grew up with it and with that means mildly understanding other latin based languages, like french. speaking, grammar, conjugation and the like are a different story tho, so hopefully one day i'll lock in and level up my skills and be able to actually say i'm fluent in spanish

i was gonna write something in french but i've quickly realized i know like actually nothing... if i read a meme in french i could probably get it but i have no vocabulary so cheval fromage oui oui baguette i guess 🥖

i am totally a serial killer and im outside your house ready to practice signing with you 🤺

for reasons undisclosed i do think you're onto me 😅 while i'm enjoying the pen-pal-snail-mail we've got going, i'll maybeeeee send a dm soon if i can stop being insane. i haven't talked to new people or made online friends in a really long time and for some reason a part of me feels like i'll be shot on sight for the crime of being mildly annoying lmao

throwing breadcrumbs at your window,

-🐍

that was definitely my favourite part of tit too. i love how much they love us, and that they're no longer afraid to love eachother out loud. it felt so special, like a little secret and a huge family gathering at the same time. i get emotional if i think about how much growth this required. i also got to meet one mutual (hi manda if you're reading this), so that was pretty fun too.

don't worry about my scholarship, thankfully it doesn't make or break uni for me. honestly, i feel like i do have access to the resources i need to be successful i just... can't? i'm too stuck in my head with some things that i don't think i should share publicly. but it makes it really hard to gather the focus or motivation to do any of my work. i'm pretty much staring at my very very manageable pile of things to do and going "fuck, let me think about something i don't even enjoy thinking about instead!" yeah, not very effective. i get what you mean, school really does feel like a necessity. and it feels like a waste to quit it when i've already invested money and time into it. i hope your time with online school has been good to you, i wouldn't mind moving entirely online myself, but i don't really want to move back in with my parents. hopefully things are looking up for you.

i like muse a lot, at least the handful of songs that i've listened to. i think they make excellent use of lyrical and musical tension and are overall just stellar artists. animals reminds me of "the execution of all things" by rilo kiley. not really sure why, but i wonder if you can get what i mean by listening.

it can be complicated, things like the order of strokes you write with matter, so does the exact look of the character, same with small tonal changes per sound that don't exist in english (because it isn't a tonal language). all of that can completely change the meaning of a phrase both in written and spoken chinese, which can be complicated to get a grasp of, especially if you haven't grown up around languages formatted in that way. but an important thing to keep in mind in linguistics is that all languages are equally complex and equally capable of communicating the ideas they need to communicate. i did spend a year learning spanish, but i honestly forgot i did that until my mom reminded me of it. i could probably say 10 words, total, and that's just based on guesses from my knowledge of french. i think you could definitely become fluent in spanish, though. a lot of people have the misconception that language can't be competently acquired past a certain age, but it's really a matter of native-like fluency & acquisition being easier prior to that age. you probably won't be able to speak like a native, but who cares, language is fun and an important bridge between people. you sound like dan in pinof 1 haha. don't serial kill me!

hah, i'm assuming my guess is definitely right then. but i can't lie, i honestly enjoy this snail-mail thing too. it's fun, and i like not having to respond instantly (now i have extra time to panic, score!) the only thing is i'm a little embarrassed that my other followers can read this haha. (hi guys). 😅 but don't worry, you can take all the time you need to get comfortable. i'm not in a rush, i'll be here hunched over my computer until the worms consume my flesh. if you can figure out a way to send snail mail that's a little less public, i'm totally open to ideas. oh and don't stress about annoying me, i really do prefer people who are stereotypically "annoying". i'm pretty bad at keeping up with friendships, i tend to not know when to respond and be pretty dry, which ends up with a lot of my relationships lasting 6 months or less, which is honestly kind of depressing. if i ever do make things awkward or haven't mailed in forever, you're always free to come poke me with a stick.

anyway, sorry for the rambles. politely setting up a heating pad for you

[oldwaysofknowing]

Being forced into society is ruining everybody's lives.

There are a ton of problems with community living. There's also a shocking lack of research into how being forced to live around others might be detrimental to our health (mental or otherwise). If you do an internet search right now with something like "negative effects of living around other people," all you'll find are articles about how self-isolation leads to depression, how friendship is one of the keys to happiness, and so on. The internet seems to be bought and sold by extroverts.

So, since no one else is addressing it, I'll get the ball rolling: Living around other people fucking SUCKS.

Because according to the subliminal-not-so-subliminal rules of living around others, you owe something to everyone else. That's 8.2 billion people whose feelings you're supposed to consider before making any statement or taking any action. Ever.

Before you skim past what I just said, read it again. And if you're still so conditioned as to think it's normal to owe your life to people who aren't you, I invite you to slow down and consider the contrast to how it once was:

Humans once lived miles away from each other, with vast spaces in between us. We went days, weeks, months without seeing another human being. Though families/clans/what have you traveled together for safety in numbers, that is still not a society. And it's definitely not society as we're enduring it today.

Fast forward: Camps became villages, villages became townships, townships became cities. Industrial Revolution, blah blah blah. What we're left with is a batshit crazy number of people forced to live together and get along because...?

It used to be you lived and died with your inner circle. If you wanted to be social, you left your house. Now, everybody's life belongs to everybody else.

Except the way they've taken your life in this universe is by domesticating the generations before you, then making basic necessities so unaffordable that they can corral you into living in a city with hundreds, thousands, millions of strangers, who deep down don't want anymore to do with you than you don't want with them. But you try to make the best of it because you have no other options, so you go to Target, blow money to make your apartment/house (pen) look pretty, turn on your streaming service, and try to turn off the fact that you're stressed as fuck, overstimulated as fuck, worked hard as fuck, and that there's seemingly no end in sight.

Except get this: Even once you have a place of your own, it's not your own. You either owe someone for it, are forced to share it with others, or both. Nowadays we only experience the illusion that any of us have a place to ourselves. Humanity used to have peace and quiet in spades; now our sanity is as thin as the walls between us.

With the right to privacy gone and society becoming more and more emotionally interdependent, our health is plummeting from getting no true aloneness. Even when we're alone, the noises created by others negate the feeling of true separation. The constant sound of other peoples' existence... the constant anxiety that any brief peace we find will soon end... It's enough to drive you out of your mind.

Here are statements from real human beings who are also bowing under the weight of living in a society:

"…there were times I would just sit in my car and cry because it was the only place I could go that was quiet."

"I ended up in a straight up abusive situation with a former housemate...as they felt entitled to every ounce of my time and energy while also thinking they could treat me like garbage."

It's no wonder we're at war all the time: the love of money and the modern inability to be able to ignore each other. That's one of the skills we've lost, one of the things we now suck at the most, being able to ignore each other. And how can we be good at it? We've been conditioned in the other direction for so long, taught to fake our way through interactions rather than honestly disagreeing or ignoring.

Once upon a time, you might've only seen another person once a week, passing each other on your buggies. A tip of the hat, a smile, maybe a polite word, and that would've been it. Now, we're not only navigating basic human interaction, but we're expected to know about, care about, and participate in overblown, overthought, social propaganda practices such as "the female gaze," "microaggression," religion, political correctness... We've created a collective consciousness. And we have only to look at basically any dangerous uprising throughout history-- think of the throngs that showed up to chant in support of Hitler's plans to "bring people together in harmony"-- to see where this is heading.

It's enough to paralyze you. And doesn't that sound a little too similar to sitting in your apartment building, which you share with a hundred strangers, tuning out your own emotions, needs, desires, life, to the newest "Most Watched" show on Netflix?

One of my good friends is a guy with what many people would call a "cold" mindset. Picture the rage of George Carlin coupled with the stoicism of Marcus Aurelius, and you've got an image you can go by. Despite this (actually, because of this), he has a great sense of humor about life. Once he laughs off a problem or a person, he's truly done with it. No matter that we're living in an age when every one of his words and actions is being micro-scrutinized. Unless he's truly made a mistake (that's an important caveat) or unless something affects him (or his inner circle) personally, he doesn't give a flying fuck.

I once heard him say something, and though it wasn't directed at me, his words have been changing my life:

"Why do I have to like you?"

I believe the silence with which most people would answer this question is evidence enough of how unsustainable it is as a basis for social behavior and societal construction. I plan on writing a second part to this essay which will focus on this question and how it ties into the problem of societal living.

As for me, if you haven't guessed, I've said, "Fuck being part of society" already. As much as I can right now, at least. And you can too.

But I'm telling you: If you think like this as well, and if you want to start living it, you're gonna make some enemies, and you'll also have to make some sacrifices. For one, you'll have to unplug. Completely. Unplug from the power source and stop downloading what everybody else is about. Get as far away from society as you can get, somewhere where you can remember what you are about. What was it you thought, again? What was it you wanted from your life? Go out there and remember.

And for the love of god, stay away from me.

Resources:

[hoefette]

All the petty things I hate about fate!winx and their shitty universe/world building because

I'd added most if these in tags of other posts but I'm still so mad lmao

The way characters, Aisha and Mrs Dowling specifically make references to explicitly human or American things like instagram and Harry Potter

These people are from a different dimension for ffs why are they concerned with or are even aware of this very earth-specific shit? Do they teach earth classes at school over there?

I understand not wanting to have them be oblivious so Bloom wouldn't have to explain it to them, but it simply could be ✨omitted✨

Why would you go out of your way to date your work like this lmao ew

Ms. Dowling calling Tinkerbell an air fairy.. I cannot breeve with the stupidity why did they keep that in there

Why is Ms. Dowling.. the headmistress.. teaching classes? Where are the other teachers?

We ended up with a trio of antagonists (I guess you could call them that?) by the end of the season anyway so why not give us the trix, why have the characters play double roles as friends of our protagonists and also the villains/bullies? They clearly wanted a delinquent trio, in which case they could've gender bent the trix if they wanted to keep all the unnecessary sexual tension.

It just feels like the production team was lazy, they didn't want to hire more actors, they didn't want to bother with making the world immersive or lived in or believable at best, they just didn't give enough of a fuck

They wanted to make this show and attatch Winx to it for.. what? Like did you even google the main plot points? The abridged version or sparknotes to get details on the very literal, basic characteristics of our main characters or their roles or the world they inhabit????

It lacks wonder and intrigue.. I mean Bloom moves to another dimension, a school for fairies and we don't see her marvel once at anything.. and that's because she might as well have been in Switzerland because she's in exactly the same environment she would've been in over there anyway.

They could've said Alfea was in Europe and I'd believe it because nothing about the setting makes it feel otherworldly. I'm sorry but I'm not impressed.

Why do the teachers and graduated specialists communicate via facetime ?? In the magic dimension. ??? Why do they text each other and those texts then appear on screen like .. oh look, like a bad netflix teen movie ????? HELLO ??? it's the way technology and magic could've blended in so seamless into the world THE WAY IT WAS ALREADY DONE/SHOWN. Missed opportunity. it just takes you out of it imo every time you see the ugly, bland, gray text bar. Some fucking flavour pls I'm begging

How stupid the specialist must feel clonking around with the skinniest shreds of armor, plastic swords on their backs and battery powered flashlights and cellphones in their bags. R we larping?? I know I'd be laughing and asking why we hadn't already come up with something more effective .. idk like guns. I'm surprised I ain't see one gun in there.

In the beginning Ms. Dowling says some nonsense about fairies having lost the ability to transform to explain why there are no wings, which means they could've transformed before. So are we to assume that this supposed to be set in the time proceeding the original then?? Because something is not adding up with where they should be as a magical society technologically if that's the case

How does the production team want to keep the dark academia vibes with torches lining the walls and also want them to be face timing each other, presumably from miles and miles away in the dark forest???

Pls pick an aesthetic and stick to it everything was so unnecessarily dark. Where do they charge their phones since it's the only device we see that is the slightest bit modern and dont fucking tell me they charge it with magic I will punch you in the face

Why is there only one major monarchy that we are shown? Why are Solaria the only ones contributing to the efforts to defend the school and where is this mysterious battalion we never see lmaoo it's all so bad its laughable.

Is this set in the kingdom of Solaria? And why does the queen of an alleged interdimensional superpower monarchy pull up in black SUVs??????????? Why does she pull up with Andreas?? Is he not the king of Erakleon?? Where are his soldiers and his battalion and just?? Huh!? The world just feels empty like nobody lives here fr

Are we supposed to believe that the specialists get paired up with fairies just as a normal occurence and that they have to 'trust each other' and not because the plot demands it suddenly half way through when all we've seen so far are the fairies doing normalish school and homework, and the specialists outside, being physical everyday all day. This was never even implied that they'd have to work together apart from when we see the faculty as youngins with Rosalind. But even then.. it's like well why are they even together lmao? Is this a special team formed from Rosalind’s protégées? Were they formed after graduating from Alfea or what is this?? Are they the ONLY team of specialist/fairies hunting every single burned one?? What?

Are we now supposed to buy that Musa is being switched to 'support' because that's where her strengths lie and not in combat?? Are we supposed to believe that these girls know hand to hand combat?? When was this established? We see Terra wrapping some baby vines around a dude and I'm sorry is that the practical application of her power? Is this what the fairies are supposed to do once they graduate? Or is it just a switch in curriculum because of the threats outside the barrier?? This is never made clear.

Because if not then what's the point of this?? Why do they suddenly have endless classes together when the expectation was never set for the fairies to be like soldiers or out in the field fighting ?

Where exactly are they supposed to be what was the purpose of including Aster Dell and why is it a joy ride away from Alfea lmao?? Where Bloom is from and also not from?? Plot pls make it make sense

Why are fairies from another dimension vaping or smoking weed?? They are not human so why are they engaging in specifically human vices, yol couldn't come up with anything else to characterize 'delinquents'?? Very lazy very como se dices.. no effort. Nothing a little more spicy yol could invent, at least change the name and some properties holy shit did yol even try ??

So its fairies everywhere, having a lil party in the east wing of a phat castle.. and they are playing beer pong and dressed in t shirts and jeans..

Can you hear me screaming? Can you hear me vibrating with rage?

Not one floating decoration or magical anything in sight. Just purple lights and subpar vibes

Stella's costume design: tragic. I won't discuss further because we don't have the space or time but just know that it was absolutely atrocious and I hated it. Giving very debutante vibes

The entire budget going to that lame transformation sequence that was not a transformation sequence and those horrible, barely-there fire wings

Edgelord bloom and all her fucking leather jackets. Why do 30 yo, white cis men think girls exist in a binary? They could keep her earlier characterization and make her a hothead.. Bloom literally screamed herself into a couple power upgrades in the original come ooonnnn

Let girls be feminine without it being a character flaw what is wrong with yol its 2021. They could make her more mature, more angsty or whatever the hell else and not style her like that

The way Aisha's abilities flipflop between episodes and scenes. Very inconsistent. One minute she's struggling with a drop of water and the next she is moving an entire body of water for her bestie Bloom to fake transform because the plot demands it. Why even add in her struggles at all if you're just going to ignore it?

Why was Stella with them in that scene? She didn't do anything literally.. Aisha pulled the water and she did .. nothing.

Who the fuck is Rosalind? Why would they add her in,, to add nothing to story? The company of light was a thing, they could've plucked one of them hoes to be the antagonist. Why did the winx club need their own Delores Umbridge? Valtor was right there if you wanted an evil educator type character.

The camera work was so bland during the down beats, stagnant and fixed during a fairy party and erratic and ugly and disorienting during the fight scenes

I'm not getting over the fairy party because it was a good opportunity for the production and everyone else to show the differences between where Bloom was and where she is now but instead it just looks like a regular teen high school party?? This could have been set in Switzerland fr.

Everyone's just kind of standing?? You mean to tell me these people are from all different places in the magical dimension and their customs are all the same? They all throw parties like this ??

White and flavorless I am very bored

I guess the main question or takeaway I have is just.. who is this for? Because everyone, including the showrunners keep saying that it's for us, the fans of the original. But apart from the characters sharing some names, there are really no other similarities. So again, who was this supposed to appease or placate or satisfy? Because it sure as hell wasn't the winx club fans.

Overall, this feels very much like something I wrote and probably published on ff.net when I was 13 because I thought girls couldn't be taken seriously if they liked pink, and injected angst into everything that didn't need it and had no idea how to structure scenes or dialogue. It's just bad, objectively and N*tflix will keep making shit like this because apparently some people have bad taste??? Idk yol, be easy

[punkscowardschampions]

Savannah & Jac

Savannah: what's going on? Jac: Big drama Jac: huge Jac: where are you??? Savannah: I needed privacy so this conversation wasn't a big drama for Ty Savannah: but now all his friends are here, like, freaking out Jac: Yeah, they're gonna be Jac: is Carter in there or? Savannah: No Savannah: why are they saying the party's over? Jac: It's for the best he's done a runner Jac: God knows what her mother will do, wouldn't be surprised if she calls the police Savannah: Oh my god, Ty's parents will lose it with him if that happens Jac: Is has lost it, big time Savannah: how drunk is she? Jac: She just came into the main room crying hysterically Jac: saying Carter forced himself onto her Savannah: what are we going to do? Jac: We need to sort this Jac: she called her mum, I couldn't stop her Savannah: she'll tell all our parents & like you said it's likely to go much further Savannah: this is my party, MY idea Jac: It's not as if we knew Jac: who even is he Savannah: I'm still going to become the girl who threw a party where her friend got assaulted Jac: No, we're not going to let that happen Jac: we just have to work out the best angle for us Jac: we either support her fully, but then Ty will have to go, and the rest of them Jac: or maybe we can convince her it wasn't as bad as she thinks Jac: if she's drunk, maybe she could've misread it? Savannah: do you know how much she's had to drink? Savannah: OH MY GOD, I can't believe I'm asking that Savannah: of course we have to support her, she didn't consent Jac: You know Is, she always has too much Savannah: & I know she loves drama but she wouldn't go that far Savannah: would she? Jac: I don't even know Jac: I know nothing about this Carter boy Jac: he was obviously saying the opposite before he left but Jac: this is so not how this night was supposed to go Savannah: I was literally mid-breakup Savannah: I can't handle this Jac: We need to go Jac: I'm not sober enough to fully think out our plan right now Savannah: Me either Savannah: what about Is, will she leave? Jac: I think her mum is coming, like now Jac: but I think, we get her to mine Jac: calm her down so her mum doesn't like Jac: do something major Savannah: Are your mum & dad there though? Savannah: maybe we should take her to my house instead, my mum is fully medicated by now Jac: Good idea Jac: I'm just saying, get her away from here with a hot drink and a shower, she might feel different Savannah: & if that doesn't work, she could take a pill, I do sometimes Savannah: they do help Jac: We could talk to her mum for her Jac: say we're looking after her Savannah: which we are Jac: Exactly Jac: she just needs to calm down, I'm sure Savannah: okay, let's go Jac: [The next day] Jac: is your mum losing it? Savannah: She called my dad Savannah: but my auntie is the one who's FULLY losing it Jac: Jesus Jac: I'm so mad Jac: this is ridiculous Savannah: what happened with your parents? Jac: they won't stop going on about it Jac: asking stupid questions Jac: acting like I should be going down the station myself Jac: literally how would I know what happened??? Jac: none of us were in the room with them Jac: if Is' mum has decided she wants to do that then that's her business Savannah: have you heard from Isabelle? Savannah: Ty won't speak to me, I don't know if his mum took his phone or he just hates me now Jac: No Jac: and I've sent her like hundreds of messages Jac: all I've got is people who weren't there asking if it's true or sounding off at me for what Is has said Savannah: ^^ I was sending her messages all night Savannah: you're the only person replying to me Jac: I feel like a complete pariah Jac: I didn't sign up for this Savannah: This is all my fault Savannah: I never should have put Carter forward as a someone suitable for Is Jac: No, you didn't know Jac: you'd never do that if you did Jac: he seemed like a fun guy, someone she'd like Savannah: I can't stay in this house with everyone shouting at me Jac: Don't Jac: let's go somewhere Savannah: I'm essentially on surveillance like a criminal, there's no way Jac: Well, don't you REALLY need that research book from the library to finish your psych essay Jac: surely they won't stop you studying? Savannah: You're incredible Savannah: I swear my brain is barely functioning Savannah: except all these intrusive sad thoughts, they are of course in full flow Jac: This is some bullshit Jac: but I'm gonna protect you Jac: this is so not our fight Jac: the adults in our life just need time to calm down Savannah: It's really not Savannah: obviously I feel bad for Is but there's nothing I can do other than feel that right now because the lines of communication are closed Jac: ^^ Jac: Precisely, we can only be there for her as much as she wants us to Jac: and like, how rude if we tried to make this about us by getting overly involved Jac: it didn't happen to us, I'm not going to go into hiding or whatever my parents want me to do like something bad happened to me Savannah: Exactly, I'm heartbroken that I wasn't there because of what was happening between me & Ty, but I know that doesn't compare to what she's going through Savannah: she doesn't need my guilt being thrown at her Jac: I don't think anyone appreciates that we feel guilty enough without them implying we could've done more Jac: is this the time to be playing the blame game at all, people?! Savannah: ^^ my auntie thinks I should've been there holding her hand all night or something Jac: everyone is suddenly friend of the year Jac: like, well, we're actually her only real friends Jac: where were you all then? Jac: just happy to judge us now, it's so unfair Savannah: I saw how quick Amelia popped up, excuse you girl, where have you been? Jac: that's her ALL over Jac: doesn't put any work in, swoops in to play hero when it suits her Jac: between her and Is' mum, god knows what they're saying about us Jac: the woman does not like me Jac: 'cos I try to help lift that stifling codependency she's got her daughter under Savannah: & she's just so INTENSE, it's no surprise Is' mum is team Amelia Savannah: I'm not apologising for us having a life that Isabelle isn't utterly in the centre of at all times Jac: SERIOUSLY Jac: it was so awkward when it was just the three of us Jac: Amelia so wanted Is to herself Jac: maybe I should have left them to it Jac: sorry I didn't want to be alone, guys, thanks Savannah: I hate hearing that Jac: Well, it might be just us now Jac: if they turn everyone against us Jac: I don't even care Jac: I can't wait to leave this town and never look back Savannah: If I've got you, who else would I ever need? Savannah: becoming friends with you was the most life-affirming and empowering thing that's happened to me Savannah: I'm not going to lose sight or let go off everything I want & have worked hard for because last night went wrong Jac: And why should we? Jac: Is shouldn't let it define her life and who she is Jac: we certainly shouldn't, it's like, in the nicest possible way, nothing to do with us Jac: We know what we need to do, where we're going Jac: nothing has changed Jac: people can say whatever they will Savannah: If my family wants me to trust in what they're saying instead of everything you are, they need to have enough faith in me & my choices to let me leave the house Savannah: & they aren't Jac: Like, I'm never trying to put a wedge between anyone and their family Jac: but mine are being exactly the same so I can say Jac: they're coming from a total place of fear, they're overreacting like WHAT IF the bad thing happened to us Jac: but it didn't, and they can't protect us from the world by trying to tell us what to do Jac: Is' mum is always like that...look what happened there Savannah: SO true Savannah: I won't even mention how they're overlooking the fact that I'd never let anything like that happen to you & you would never let it happen to me because that's the kind of friendship we have Savannah: isolating me from you, isn't protecting me, it's very harmful actually Jac: We need each other Jac: you're my safety and I'm yours Jac: as much as I don't care what people think, what they say Jac: that'll be different if I don't have you Savannah: You'll always have me Jac: Swear on my ❤? Savannah: Of course Jac: Then we've got this Jac: whatever anyone is going to try to throw at us Savannah: We've got each other Savannah: There's not a single thing anyone can do to make me stop loving you or needing you in my life Jac: I love you Jac: and I know your ❤ and your intentions and I see nothing but pure goodness Jac: I'm not going to let anyone say anything less Savannah: you're 👼🏻 & if people can't recognise that, they're the ones who need to check in with themselves and their world view Savannah: they certainly don't know enough about you to speak out if they're TOTALLY unaware of what a ray of light you are Jac: You're going to make me cry Jac: You're the sweetest kindest soul and you deserve none of this bullshit backlash Savannah: we're leaving it behind us Savannah: you're right, the library isn't off limits Jac: I'll meet you there then Jac: where we go after is our business Savannah: 🙌 Jac: We'll be back before anyone notices Jac: do you think we should try to call Is, or see her or Jac: do we leave it up to her Jac: might be the kindest, you know her mum has taken over everything else right now, with Amelia now, like 🙄 Savannah: If her mum has her phone, she could call ours Savannah: I'd actually be under house arrest then Savannah: she's unlikely to be up to seeing anyone anyway, I barely slept myself, Is won't have Jac: Yeah, true Jac: I feel like I'm in enough shit considering I've not done anything Jac: have you heard where Carter is, what he's doing about this whole situation Savannah: I keep hoping Ty will reply & tell me anything that's going on, but he hasn't Jac: How did you end things with him Jac: like, did you or? Savannah: I was trying to do it gently, you know? Savannah: so of course I didn't get to say everything that I wanted to before we were interrupted Savannah: but he can read me well enough that he obviously knew where the conversation was supposed to be going Jac: He's probably in a state of shock Jac: given that and then what happened immediately after Jac: I'm sure he'll come 'round soon, give you the closure you need Savannah: I can't cope with not being able to speak to him when he's bound to have these unanswered questions Savannah: all the pain he's going to be in when he finally feels it Jac: It's unavoidable Jac: part of being human, growing Savannah: I think I'm in shock too Jac: You are Jac: we all are Savannah: I didn't even take any of my mum's meds but it feels like I have Jac: everything is cloudy Jac: we only have like a tenth of the story and none of it makes sense or feels real Jac: like a joke or nightmare Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: You're real, I'll feel better when I see you Jac: that's why we should be together right now Jac: our family weren't there, they have even less of a clue Jac: together we can actually make sense of this and Jac: get back to some semblance of normality Savannah: how can we stay together? Savannah: I've only just walked out of my house & I already don't want to go back Savannah: that's without even considering how stressful school will be Jac: how can we go back? Jac: Is won't be able to Jac: everyone is talking, whether they're on her side or not Jac: we need to go somewhere Jac: have a break from all of this before we have to face it Savannah: but where? Savannah: & how when our parents are insisting on this degree of control? Jac: if they're not willing to be reasonable and cooperate with us Jac: don't see why we should have to Jac: we know this is what we need, what's right for us, right? Savannah: Yes Savannah: & we've earned our own money, I haven't touched any of it since we started Jac: Exactly, we've got enough to get far away enough and live comfortably for long enough to process this Jac: we just need to get as much out here before we leave Jac: first thing they'd do would be to check where our card was last used, need to stop the papertrail Jac: then we have to leave our phones here Jac: we'll write down our important numbers and get a burner, we're not stupid Savannah: You're the only person I want to talk to right now and I'll have you with me Jac: ❤❤❤ Jac: and like you said, we protect each other, nothing bad is going to happen Jac: so, you want to? Savannah: we aren't going to let anything happen that isn't what we need Savannah: I want to be with you, I feel like whatever my family is scared of would be much more likely to happen if I'm not Savannah: there's way more danger to my mental health if I stay here Jac: Then we're going Jac: luckily a rucksack won't look out of place for all the books we're meant to be carrying Savannah: Should I act like I've forgotten something & go back? Jac: I can pack spare clothes for you too if you like Jac: but your own might make you feel more you, more normal Savannah: that's such a good point Savannah: we've lost enough normality Jac: everything feels so different now Savannah: it does Savannah: but how important you are to me hasn't changed Jac: I know when I see you, everything will feel better Jac: and we'll know exactly what to do Jac: it's how it's been since I met you Savannah: all we have to do is keep trusting the universe & each other Jac: I trust you both entirely Savannah: I know I let you down but I promise that won't ever happen again Jac: you could never Savannah: I did! The party was an awful idea but I selfishly demanded it & if that wasn't bad enough I left you alone after insisting I needed you there Savannah: we could've been together, nothing would've gone so wrong Jac: but I let Is go off alone with him Jac: I should've spotted there was something off about him Jac: THAT off Jac: it was both our idea Jac: but that wasn't Savannah: Baby, you can't think like that, you didn't even know his name, how could you EVER realise he was that kind of person Savannah: Ty didn't & they were on the team together Jac: Yeah, Ty isn't like the other lads Jac: because some of them definitely knew Jac: but Ty wouldn't put up with that, would he? Savannah: he would've told me if he knew Savannah: all he said was that he thought Is would be better off going with someone from our year Jac: Yeah Jac: he was kind of insistent on that, we thought at the time Jac: but that's probably down to how innocent Is is in lots of ways, like we thought then too Jac: or was Jac: Poor Is Savannah: I feel sick Jac: I know Jac: me too Jac: I'm on my way Savannah: He was always so gentle, I had to make the first move, like literally every move Savannah: he can't have known Jac: No, no way Jac: he's not that kind of boy Jac: I'm just at that place where I don't know who I can trust BUT you Jac: everyone seems like a suspect Savannah: If he'd just talk to me Savannah: everything's SO messed up Jac: do you want to see him, before we go? Savannah: I can't, for the same reason we can't see Is Savannah: his mum would call my auntie as soon as she saw me & he's not going to agree to meet me anywhere else Jac: In a few days, you can call him Jac: we'll go to a payphone Savannah: okay Jac: It will be Jac: I promise Jac: you'll see Savannah: I don't have to see it to believe in you Savannah: you've never let me down