#we're watching the Wimbledon men's finals on the TV rn
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It's so weird to think that the US is currently 5-8 hours behind me instead of the 12-15 hours that I'm used to
#for the next month anyway#I had to leave the room yesterday when we visited an aunt and uncle. the anger I felt at how easy the Boomers had it#people with houses with gardens that are almost right beside a beautiful river. who happily retired and stayed married for almost 40 years#so I just went to the guest bedroom..slumped on the bed and ugh. the mutism from how anxious I am about how the rest of my life's gonna go#I'm so conflicted coz. am I lucky to even be here visiting now? ofc. but the way my mind checks out when I don't feel a part of anything#we're watching the Wimbledon men's finals on the TV rn#I'm here because who knows when I'll get *it* again and miss out on seeing people ever again#it's bad enough that I've missed enough boats in life so obvs I still gotta catch the ones that are still within reach. from this low place#loz says stuff
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