#we're lucky we had the money set aside for it

[skullinahat]

oughghh...

[littleheartsong]

happy FUCKING birthday chilchuck

"Good job turning 30, Chil"

"Ugh, don't remind me"

Chilchuck buries his face in your chest with a grumble. He was never too thrilled about his birthday, it just felt like another day to him.

At least he was with you this year.

"Aw, don't be like that," you said while brushing your fingers through his hair, "You don't wanna celebrate with all your friends?"

He looked up at you with a dead look in his eyes, "Please don't tell me you invited everyone over"

The utter despair in his voice prompted a laugh to erupt from your chest, "Lucky for you, it's just you and me today" you press a kiss to the top of his head, "Buuuuuut there is something special happening today!"

Chilchuck hums in response, "Oh?" he begins before yelping in protest from getting moved off your lap, "Wh-hey! Where are you going?"

Your answer comes in the form of a gift getting pulled out from a secret hiding stash, "Just a little something, of course"

Indignation turns into a sheepish bashfulness as Chilchuck takes the gift from you, "Wow, you didn't have to get me anything" he scratches at the back of his neck to distract from the blush rising his cheeks.

"I know, but I wanted to" you press a kiss to his reddened cheek, "Now open it!"

He huffs, but opens the intricate package to reveal a bronze key.

"... Huh?" he looks up at you with creased brows, "What's this for?"

Now it's your turn to be bashful, "Ah, well," you shift on your feet, "You remember that little building we saw? The one you said would be perfect to start the shop in?" he nodded, his eyes widening in disbelief

You didn't, did you?

"I, uh, I had some saving set aside. Plus all that money we made from the dungeon. And I bought it. For you."

Chilchuck nearly drops the key, "You WHAT?!"

Cue awkward chuckle, "Yuuup, I know how you wanted to give at least half of the funds to your family, your daughters. I just wanted to help you out"

"This-this" he looks down at the key, "This is more than helping out!" he wants to lecture you on your spending, but his heart is leaping out of his chest, "You did this... For me?"

"Of course" you said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Finally out of his stupor, Chilchuck launches himself at you. Burying himself in your abdomen in a hug.

"Thank you... Thank you..." his gratitude is muffled by pressing his face into your stomach, "I can't believe this, I can't believe you"

You lean down to return his hug with as much enthusiasm, "You know I'd do anything for you, Chil" you nuzzle into his hair, "I love you"

Pure joy radiates from his face as he looks up at you, cheeks flushed as he lets out a laugh, "I love you too"

You both stay embraced for a while, enjoying the feeling of being in each others arms.

"Oh, by the way, we're having you're birthday party tomorrow. We're going out to eat with everyone"

"Wait, what?"

[emhm]

How are you doing? I feel kinda weird asking for a life update but I'm curious how you've been. I love all the dolls you're make. I think KC is currently my favorite. And are you gonna do anything special for your 100th chapter?

I didn't want to answer this until I was back home and on my PC, [I REALLY hate typing long messages on my phone.] As far as the chapter- I don't hold things back for certain numbers. Or I would have teased Sun and Eclipse's first actual sex together until the 100th chapter. Thank you for that. I'm already planning four more dolls. They're really fun to make. Everything else... it's complicated. I've already dosed the cats for fleas twice in the last 30 days and it's supposed to last a month. The Frontline Gold is barely keeping them flea free for two weeks and it's insanely frustrating. The only way to get them better meds entails a vet visit for the 3/4 cats that aren't current anywhere. I still have a lot of cleaning to do because I'm only home/awake two days of the week and I still have to cook for the rest of the weeks lunches on those days. This is my problem and I am working on it. My partner basically does the same job as me but for a different client because our work is contracted out by a parent company. Her previous contract ended and took her from 40hrs a week down to 24. And that's the biggest reason that I've been having to beg via Ko-fi just to pay the normal household bills. I already work 40hrs a week and they won't give me any more. We also share a car so that limits what she can do. I heard offhand that the client I work for wanted 10hr shifts for my position instead of 8 but didn't get it for some reason. And I'm the only one on the site, so it was likely to avoid paying me overtime. So what I've done is arrange for my partner to take one of my weekday shifts. This doesn't make us any less fucked on the bills, but it means that if the client pushes for longer hours then I can bump back up to 40 and she'll have the extra day they wouldn't give me. Plus it means I get three days off to do shit at home instead of just two. We have the money to get Lucky fixed [thanks guys!] but we can't seem to score an appointment to get it done. It's a low cost thing and it's first come first serve. We'll keep calling. The dealership offered us a better deal on getting the breaks repaired then the tire place we were going to use. But it was sight unseen. They owe us a free oil change anyway. The appointment to have that done is tomorrow. I also have money set aside for that. [You guys are freaking amazing.] I won't touch any of it until the breaks are done and then I'll know if there's anything left to put towards bills or buy some wood for winter. Because we're already not getting what we need for hours I have to assume the worst [that there will be nothing left] and the every other month electric bill is this month. Fortunately we're only had the AC running maybe four days since it got hot. Point is that I was short several thousand dollars last month. This month will probably be more like $600 short at the worst. Personally. I'm just... here. Doing my thing. I'm really hoping to see some people attempt to follow the patterns I put up. I actually love teaching people to make things and I'm happy to answer questions. Thank you for asking. :) https://ko-fi.com/followmeontumblr

[a-world-of-whimsy-5]

Sunshine

Pairings: Thuringwethil/Arien

Themes: Soft

AU: Punk AU

Warnings: Some coarse language, but that's about it.

Word count: 700+words

Summary: After rehearsals Thuringwethil spends a quiet moment with Arien.

A/n 1: This was inspired by the white dress art by @junk-whunk-punk

A/n 2: Punk AU Arien HCs will be up the same time tomorrow

Minors DNI

“That’s a night, folks.” Mairon stepped away from the mic and rolled his head from side to side, stretching the muscles in his neck. It had been a long night, and he was worn out from the incessant rehearsing, just like the others. Nevertheless, he made peace with such exhaustion. The concert was but two days away, and they couldn't afford any mistakes. “Get yourselves something to eat in the dressing room, and then we’ll all head back to the hotel.”

“Fucking finally,” Thuringwethil said. She sighed, relieved that rehearsals were over for the night, but she smiled, removed her guitar, and gave it to an assistant passing by to take. "Will you look at all of that," she said at length. "In two days, we’ll be lucky if we can see the walls right at the back." 

Mairon turned to look at the wide open field ahead of him and the high, distant walls illuminated by bright white stadium lights. The arena could easily hold thirty thousand people, they were told. It was something neither he nor anyone in the band, for that matter, could have comprehended the first time they got together to play. Once, they considered themselves fortunate if they could convince even fifty to come to watch them play. Now, they were performing in sold-out arenas packed with screaming fans. Their dreams of greater fame and glory were finally coming true.

“Fuck me,” Mairon said, overawed. Then he looked at Thuringwethil and said, “Let’s go. We're all tired and hungry, and Arien is probably bored to tears by having to wait for us." 

“Arien isn’t bored to tears,” Thuringwethil said. She rolled her eyes. “She brought a book with her to read.”

Mairon opened his mouth to tease, but then he thought not to. Thuringwethil would have plenty to say if he uttered a joke at her or Arien's expense, and none of it would be kind. And, he admitted to himself, he didn't wish to ruin what had been a successful night by making his lead guitarist angry.

“Go on,” he said instead. “We’ll catch up.”

The well-lit inner corridors of the arena seemed to go on forever in Thuringwethil’s eyes. And yet she didn't mind them. After the concert, she could commit this arena and its many corridors to memory, where they rightfully belonged. 

It didn't take too long for her to reach the private dressing room set aside for them. This was also an immense change from the dark and musty little rooms they had to be content with when they first began to play. As soon as she entered, a little reception room greeted her. This was where they would meet eager fans, sign autographs, and take pictures. A low sofa of rich brown leather stretched from one corner of the wall to the other, and a glass coffee table stood in the center. To her right stood a vending machine filled with snacks and sweets, and to her left was the door leading to another room. Thuringwethil didn’t waste another moment. She crossed over to the door and opened it.

“There you are, sunshine,” she said, peering into the room.

Arien looked up from her book and smiled. “All finished for the night?”

“Yes, finally,” Thuringwethil said, walking to the fridge. "How’s the book?" she added after pulling out a can of beer and popping it open. "Is it any good?"

Arien marked where she stopped reading with a bookmark and said, “Quite riveting, actually. I’m glad my dad found this in that bookstore he walked into.”

Thuringwethil looked at her. Arien may have worn a simple white dress along with her favorite pair of earrings, but nothing could hide what Mairon once called the Air of Old Money in her. Graceful and well-groomed she would always be, whether she wore a ball gown or a sweater and ripped jeans.

“What the hell sent you here to me?” She murmured with affection. Arien could have had anyone she desired, yet she chose Thuringwethil, paying little heed to the many objections that came her way.

Arien set her book down beside her. She kicked off her shoes and curled up on the sofa, tucking her feet beneath her body. Presently, she said, “I don’t know. But for myself, I will not question my luck. Are you?”

“No way am I doing it, sunshine.” Thuringwethil drained her beer and tossed the can into the little bin by the fridge. She went to the sofa to rest her head on Arien's lap. “Read some of that book to me,” she said, closing her eyes and sighing softly when Arien brushed her hand over her hair. “We can eat when the others get here.”

tags: @cilil

[m0r1bund]

I want to step aside and say I'm grateful for everyone who has shared my adoptables, bought 'em, enjoyed them with your eyeballs, or just hung around in general. I don't like to mix money with art, but these past two months I've been in a tight position where I needed to to make ends meet. I didn't want to lead with this because we're all broke motherfuckers out here, and you know how it is. being poor can be the most shameful and humiliating thing in the world, even when you know in your forebrain that it's not something you can necessarily control.

Thankfully, this is a transition period. I'm lucky to have the support of really cool people who have made it possible for me to secure some work doing what I love. 🤞 with any luck, we will be out of the woods soon.

As much as I hem and haw about making money off of my art, this has been an encouraging experience. I've enjoyed being able to act on design ideas that wouldn't fit into my own stories, but are really fun in someone else's hands. I also learned a lot during this brief return to the adoptable market, which I will share below, in hopes that maybe it can help others who find themselves in the same position.

I've been strict with pricing my work hourly, rather than just slapping on a price that "feels right" for the perceived complexity/finish/originality of the design. It's like pulling teeth, because I'm always slower than I think I am. I try to hold onto a piece of advice that I heard somewhere, which I will paraphrase poorly. Basically, even though your instinct might be to make a lot of small, affordable things, so you're not putting all your eggs in one basket or setting yourself up for disappointment if there's no bites, it's sometimes more "efficient" to do expensive jobs that are few and far in-between. there is... obvious... tension between this and my feelings about accessibility. one thing wins over the other when you're in survival mode, for better or worse. but i feel fortunate to be able to eat today so that i can pay it forward tomorrow.

i've tried to be conscientious of overhead, platform fees, and invisible labor. I probably would have made more money if I had conducted sales as auctions and exchanged money through direct invoices, but I chose to use ko-fi and fixed prices because that meant there was less friction between sharing my work, conducting a sale, exchanging money, and distributing the files. This might seem like a deranged tradeoff (surely it would be more worthwhile to just exchange a few emails) but it reflects the state of mind I was in before I received the news about my new job. If I wanted to keep doing this for what seemed like an indefinite amount of time, I needed to make it as simple as possible.

in line with the above, I chose to make adoptables rather than open commissions because the risk of losing time without any financial return was acceptable to me. time and technical effort was not my limiting resource, haha... I really respect commission work, but it's challenging for me to do. maybe you can guess from my desire to use ko-fi that it takes more effort for me to translate a client's vision into visual art than it takes for me to spitball an idea and hope someone will like it enough to take it home. I already prioritize this more "intensive" work as part of my (current) dayjob, so it's better for me to pick the path of least resistance in this case.

all of this rides on having a following. honestly, i wasn't sure things would work out here on tumblr. i have traditionally sold adoptables over on deviantart, where I have a larger following. dA recently enshittified (again) so this blog became an impromptu experiment in critter sales. I'm happy that I haven't had to touch dA, in the end, and I really owe that to you guys. thank you! (again!!)

[hasufin]

It's probably nothing, until it isn't

My cat just had a lobotomy.

Okay, they prefer to call it a lobectomy. And not a cranial one - this was to the lungs. But I'll get to that.

So, last Friday, I noticed that my boy Shiro was making a kind of odd noise, that he seemed to be wheezing a little bit, and when I touched him he made a moaning noise. This was all very minor, it would have been easy to say "It's probably nothing", and I almost did that.

But, knowing that cats are very good at masking distress, I decided to take him to the emergency vet. There, they determined he had a pleural effusion - fluid in the cavity around the lungs. (As an aside, an awful lot of medical conditions are just "description of the symptom in bad Latin or medical jargon" which means once you understand that you end up going "Yes, I came in with knee pain, and you have diagnosed me with knee pain, but that doesn't tell me anything I didn't already know.")

Anyway, so they drained the lung cavity and concluded it was most likely congestive heart failure. They gave me some meds for that and told me to make an appointment with a veterinary cardiologist. Which I did, for this coming Monday (got really lucky). I took Shiro home, he seemed a little better for a while but just kinda sat around. He also didn't eat or drink, which was worrisome.

On Sunday, I decided to call the vet again. The place I went to on Friday (associated with our regular vet) said they were slammed with pets needing Oxygen and told me to take him to another emergency vet which was actually closer. They looked at him, concluded he had more fluid, which should not have built up so quickly, and proceeded to do more testing. They found it almost certainly wasn't CHF, nor cancer, which would have been the two most likely causes.

In fact, the problem turned out to be lung torsion. One of the lobes in his lungs got twisted - something which can happen spontaneously, but is quite rare. Further, the CT scan showed that the twisted lobe was pressing against another lobe (cats have 14 in total, 7 lobes per lung) and along with the fluid buildup was making it hard to breath.

Yesterday evening they performed surgery to remove the affected lobes. He has been recovering, but is still at the veterinary hospital. It seems he's still not eating, and I authorized a feeding tube. They're still projecting a recovery, but I remain quite worried about my boy.

There are two things I've taken from this.

One is financial. I don't want to go into numbers, but the amount was a LOT. If we did not have insurance specifically for this kind of thing, it would have been a very hard decision. As it was, the big issue was the vet wanted the payment up front, which is reasonable when you're talking a few hundred for a tooth extraction, but as I told them, the last time I moved that kind of money it was a direct wire transfer and it took a week to set up. It's worrisome that we've reached the point where "amount you need to keep your cat alive" is running up against "Whoa whoa whoa that's a lot of money to be flashing around, what are you a drug dealer?" My spouse spent over an hour on the phone with Bank of America trying to get them to authorize a check, which they would not do even though they acknowledged both that they were speaking to the account holder, and there was more than enough money in the account. Spouse is going to be changing banks, because what is the point of having money you can't use in an emergency? Trupanion really came through, though, pre-authorizing a large cost on a Sunday, and getting my upfront down to where I could easily put it on a credit card. Again we're not in any financial trouble for this, it's just it was a very considerable amount of money.

Second, the thing which haunts me is how very close I was to Doing Nothing. Because none of the signs were that obvious. Until the moment the emergency vet showed me the ultrasound, I was still feeling I was just wasting my time and theirs. And even over the weekend, it seemed Shiro was just off because of having been to the vet, and we'd go to the cardiologist on Monday to make a treatment plan, and it'd all be... well, not great, but predictable. I could very easily have woken up Monday to a dead cat and never known why.

I have to confront the reality, too, that I'm just not ready to lose Shiro. I know he's 14 years old, he will be dying in the next few years. He's been with me through four relationships, seven homes, and four jobs. I'm glad that This Time it's something we can treat. Eventually it won't be, and I'm going to have to face that.

[popculturebuffet]

Thomas and Friends Series 4 Retrospective Part 1: Back on the Rails (Commissioned by Lachey V)

Hello all you silly engines and welcome back to my look at Thomas and Friends

Granted unlike my venture bros retrospective which is going on...

Since I made a new chapter thanks to near endless delays, this one was simply on hiatus to make way for it's sister series Tugs. During my Tugs Sabatical we saw 10 minutes of watery explosions, attempted military massacres, piracy, gangsters, and undertakers wanting an old boat to rest.. in.. pieces. That they scavanged. It was a fun ride, having similar pacing to thomas but not that. Now we're back to the mothership though, and while boats were exploding, the OG chugged on and it's budget was only increasing with better puppets and more success. And there was only one thing to do with that money

And after that use said money to finally adapt the remaining railway series books. As a refresher a bunch of the books coudln't be adapted because they starred narrow gage engines, i.e. smaller engines that would've been way too expensive to produce let alone make expressive enough on the early seasons budget. So now they had the money, it was an easy decision to just adapt those books.

The problem was while the decision was easy the actual trains were like living in a living nightmare: they broke down easily, the face mechanics often froze , and they had to create smoke around them as they coudln't smoke naturally.

As a result though the first half of the season focuses not on our main crew of stupid train children but an entirely NEW crew of stupid train children the other train children tell stories about at night. At first I was excited.... but then I realized I had to try and keep track of an entirely NEW set of trains that not only still mostly had red, green or blue colors but size aside STILL didn't look all that diffrent from the mainline trains. OH and two fo them have TWO sets of names

The good news at least is that while the trains are all new they at least usually come in pairs or get pretty detailed backstories so while I forget the names still, it's still easier to keep track of them. I'll also say the amount of introductions brings variety back to the series again, something it kinda needed. It's still mostly stupid train children fuck up or get fucked up by trucks, but the fuck ups at least are caused due to new interactions and not gordon being the worst.... most of the time. So let's see whose new, whose old but also new and who gets turned into a generator and dies.

Granpuff/Sleeping Beauty The framing device for these first two appearnces is simple enough: Thomas and friends can't sleep one night, so thomas tells them the story of Duke, an elderly gage engine and his co workers Peter Sam and Sir Handel. They are refered to as Stuart and Falcon here and i'm torn between the fact this is a very nice touch (as engines like being renamed).. and the facts that this is both annoying for me to remember, which is a me problem, and that arbitrarily renaming beings that already have names seems entirely fucked up.

The story itself is charming for the most part: Peter and Handel tease the older more cautious Duke, but slowly bond with him and are devistated when he has to be put away when the railway is closed. Thankfully unlike tugs, instead of being sold for parts Duke is simply kept in storage and goes into the Odinsleep till he can be found again. Unthankfully.. another engine on the line is not that lucky. After tugs I wasn't fully convinced Thomas would ever match the sheer brutality i'd witnessed in the first batch alone. Well i'm as scared as I am proud to announce while Thomas didn't match the ten minutes of naval mutation explosions it does have a train punished by being forced to become a generator because he keeps acting up.. and then MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEAR WHEN THE LINE IS SHUT DOWN. I never thought the series would SUPRASS henry's fate in horror but here we are. I mean Bricking him up where he can't see is horrific.. but this engine was gutted, turned into a power source then presumibly mercy killed. He was in a living hell of functioning but not being able to ever move.. .it's unkown if he could even SPEAK as he's shown just iwth a horrifying grin on his face.

The second half thankfully contains no such horrors: Instead the duo had never forgotten their mentor and surrogate dad and his tale kept and years later the fat controller funds a bunch of people looking for him. Stuart is found, refurbished and returns to his friends. It's the most heartwarming story containing body horror since Home on the Range.

Bulldog: Once again i'm reminded that as insane as Tugs was.. Thomas can still be a heck of a lot on it's own. Case in points not only have the trains now framed a picture of duke, but Duke rescues SIR HANDEL FROM DERAILING OFF A CLIFF. Yes really. This show has a literal cliffhanger... though sadly this isn't a two parter. Sir Handel takes a turn too sharply and held onto falcon.. er sir handle.. you... you see how this is confusing? Anyways how does he do that?

But their able to combine the trains and get him free, a genuinely heroic and awesome act. A decent enough episode

You Can't Win: Duke plays a trick on Peter Sam. I fall asleep and dream a bit of style, dream a bunch of friends, dream it never ends. This episode is what makes reviewing this series difficult.. sometims I just have nothing. It's the peril of doing a show mostly of morality plays for kids, when weird crap isn't going on I just kinda end up rambling like this.

Four LIttle Engines: This episode title makes no sense and I have no idea why i'ts called this. I guess because 4 engines are in it but it dosen't really impact the plot? Anyways thankfully this one is memorable: We're introduced to Skarloey, an older red engine who i'm able to remember better both because they gave him a unique nose and because his name is Skarloey. You don't go seeing a bunch of characters named Skarloey. Jeff yes, Kevin yes, even your ocasional jake but Skarloey is the one of a kind badass that breaks the ... however trains are assembled and proves himself. In this case Sir Handel gets horribly injured because his coaches decide to be dicks, and for once someone calls the trucks or coaches out, with Skarloey pointing out they could've hurt someone or worse. He then procedes to pull his passengers effortlessly and on time to meet james for the trade off, a small reminder these trains are both on sodor that's peppered throughout the stories after the first three had wraparounds. This would be fine but what takes it over the top is Skarloey somehow tops the little engine that could in train child persivernce as half his wheel sbreak down forcing him to get them through while leaning to the left. And trust me having playeda LOT of tears of the kingdom recently getting a vehicle to still move when the weights shifted is a fucking work of art. Skarloey is a train among trains and one of the seasons standouts.

Bad Day for Sir Handel Sir Handel dosen't want to do the work today, though he's partially right as after a long day carrying passengers, and admiring gordon NEVER a good sign of character, he's told to pull trucks. His response is the very mature deraling himself and holding everyone else up. The Fat Controller does get cross with him and put him on suspension, but i'll givfe the series credit for the character development: he simply suspends the train for misbehaving instead of bricking him up in a tunnel for always and always or rendering him sentient but imobile as his body is used as a living generator. I mean it's a very low bar to clear but hey he's learning.

Peter Sam And the Refreshment Lady: Henry proves he may need more time in the tunnel as he threatens to leave without taking Peter Sam's passengers if PS is late again, causing peter sam to nearly leave the Refreshment Lady behind. She's the one who brings the workmen their tea and cakes dammit. WIthout them they can't operate these sentient trains and the presumed mounds of flesh and boney seats within. You can't operate a styigan horror without some cake. Henry claims it was just a joke but wasn't saying it in a joking tone so how the heck would Peter Sam knows. As someone who can often be oversentstive I sympathise with PS here.

Trucks: We get my faviorite character of the season here as we meet Rusty, a kind diesel and as noted before the first one in the series not to either be a deciptive shit stirring asswagon (Disel) or simply be a bit arrogant (Daisy). It seems eventually the old reverned backed off his fathomless hatred for Disel trains or at least toned it down a bit. Rusty is kind, polite and happy to work the lines.

Sir Handel on the other hand is a dick again and gets lesson from the supereme heavenly king of all douchebag train children himself, Gordon, who advises him to play ill and as usual gets away scot free while Peter Sam gets injured as the trucks hate Sir Handel and attack peter sam and Handel saddled with his work. It just reminds me why Gordon is irritating, but Rusty pitching in to help his friend is nice.

Home At Last: Skarloey returns baby! And in time to fill in for the other star of this season, Duncan. Duncan is an asshole, but has more personality and range than gordon, so he'll be allowed to live when the reckoning comes. Duncan gets jammed in a tunnel due to doing his rock n roll.. because apparently he's not a very big fan of batman. Remember what Batman says about Punk and Rock Kids.

You know lately i've been behind, a lot of stress in my life has caused me to procastinate more.. but it's times like this where I get to put a batman: fortunate son refrence in a thomas the tank engine review i'm reminded just how glorious life can be. Anyways the Fat Controller is on team batman and threatens duncan with murder should he not shape up. And I mean the wiki tries to play it off as a joke, but the man has bricked a train up for always and always and madea nother into a living suffering battery. I don't doubt he'd do far worse to Duncan if he crossed the line.

Rock N Roll: So this episode continues the weird trend of our main characters making things worse for the new cast every time they appear. Case in point Duncan is being a dick about Rusty

And James makes it worse by pointing out how they got rid of a disel.. not knowing that Rusty is a good precious boy how dare you, and with James not knowing that he had nothing to do with that because as the narration points out, James has an ego the size of the railway itself. This thankfully dosen't end with Duncan's death though and instead in a heartwarming way: Duncan derails due to ignoring Rusty's sound advice to not goo too fast on a bit of broken railway and while Rusty saves him shockingly unlike most saves like this in the series, Rusty is.. humble about it. After about 80 or so episodes of trains rubbing misfortune in.. Rusty just lets it go, saves Duncan and offers to be friends, with Duncan warmly accepts. It's a nice sweet moment in a series that really thrives on humilation and misery in hindsight. I"ve noticed most episodes involve either the trains ribbing each other or train dickery causing problems. Here the latter is true but we instead get a Ted Lassioan response from Rusty that really warms the soul. Truly good stuff.

Special Funnel Normally i'd have nothing to talk about for this one. Peter Sam's funnel gets knocked off, he gets an embarassing replacement then gets a neat new one. But while the episode was typical for this show , I didn't watch the version I normally do. See I use youtube since it has most episodes and even with this season having a lot of them blocked i still managed to find most of them. The one exception.. was this episode. So while I could've just looked it up, I decided to have some fun and do something diffrent: I watched the AMERICAN version. Which is free in my region by the way, so if your curious about the show you can find the entire series up to a point on youtube for free. The results.. weren't too diffrent. THe script was likely largely the same and George Carlin is nearly as great as Ringo Starr and Michea Angelis. I do feel the latter two do a better job with the voices for the characters, but Carlin still does a fucktastic job, which I feel is exactly how he'd want that described. So it's not a bad way to watch it , just slightly off after watching the uk edit and not QUITE AS good, but still a fine way to watch it and it was neat to finally try it.

Steam Roller: This one is just fun as everyone is tired of Sir Handel bragging and unlike Gordon and his trains, can actually do something about him, setting him up against a racist steam roller for a race and then laughing at him for loosing. I guess that's a lesson? I mean the steamroller is a pretty bad person, he deserved to be sent away. Sir Handel isn't exactly worse for simply being arrogant. He's not a steamracist. A weird one but a fun one just for how off it feels. And giving me the term steamracist.

Passsengers and Polish So Skaloey gets a polishing from a small child

Duncan is jealous and eventually refuses to work at all, and what I like is that for once.. a train learns nothing. The Fat Controller scolds him but he's still pissed he didn't get his polish. Nothing is acomplished. I"m not saying every episode needs to be like this but it's a nice break from either trains learning via scolding or psychological torture.

Gallant Old Engine We get followup on Duncan being a dick and Skarloey, true to form, while disapointed in him, decides to handle it with a story. Because Skarloey like Rusty is the best. In this case he tells him how the soon to arrive and recently refurbished friend of Skarloey's, Renias, saved this entire railway himself. THis part of the sodor railway was about to be shut down, and with Skar Skar sick< Reinas stepped up, doing everything he could despite rain and exaustion to get to the station on time> Rain, colds, breakdowns, he fought it all and perservered just like his best friend and won praise.. and gets Duncan to get his head out of his engine equilvent of an ass and show some respect. A fine capper for this batch. So with that we take a break and we'll be back next month to finish this as the old guard return in full and mingl emore iwth the new. Until then be a very useful engine.. and thanks for reading.

[its-bound-to-get-loud]

Diary of a 5SOS fan: 17-08-2023

Hi there everyone! Hope you're doing good out there. As previously opted I am going to start a 5SOS diary here from my personal perspective as a 5SOS fan. It's just me sharing my thoughts and experience as a fan. These may or may not be universal, they're always mine though.

So very quickly a reintroduction of who I am. I'm Caroline, 32, from The Netherlands. I became a 5SOS fan around early 2020. Just as the pandemic started. So you could say I'm late to the party, but I'm happy to be here though. I was lucky enough to see them live in Amsterdam and Rotterdam on the Take My Hand tour and I'm seeing them again in Amsterdam on October 1st this year.

I'm super excited to see them again, I had soundcheck last year for Amsterdam and I have soundcheck this year as well. Which I'm super stoked about. It was such a fun experience to see them in a slightly more relaxed setting as well. I know it's a lot of money and I'm glad I'm able to afford it. If you are in a position to buy a ticket for soundcheck, I can highly recommend it. If you love 5SOS you will not regret it.

With tour starting I played Self Titled in the car the other day and although it's not my favorite album it does have some bangers on there. But damn, some of these songs really held up terribly lol. I get why everyone loves Mrs All American, English Love Affair and so on. But let's get real for a second: "That minivan that you drive really gets me goin'," "princess getting naked" and let's not forget "she's a good a girl, daddy's favorite". Any artist in 2023 would get canceled for that lol. I get that it's part of the nostalgia and lyrics aside they are all bops. But maybe it's time to be a little less obsessed with these songs after this tour is done? We literally got Heartbreak Girl and Don't Stop in 2023. Gotta say, I will put my life on the line for Voodoo Doll or End up Here lol.

Speaking of End Up Here. That song has some of the best creative 5SOS lyrics ever. "You're telling me how you love that song. About living on a prayer. I'm pretty sure that we're halfway there." That's art people.

For those who may not be as well versed in classic rock, Livin On A Prayer is a song by the band Bon Jovi. Some of the lyrics are "whoa, we're half way there". That's the reference.

Anyway, this is sort of me getting my feet on the ground writing a first diary entry on here. I'll try to talk about other stuff next time. Have a good day!

P.S. if you're interested in following my daily ramblings about not only 5SOS, but also 1D and whatever else is on my brain. Go follow my main @watchyourattitude.

[talia-rumlow]

Forbidden Fruit (Jonathan Pine X Reader) Chapter Four - Daniel!

Back home again, and life goes on. You've learned by now to not fight back. Just let him. For any outsider it would look like you and Richard was the perfect couple. Some might even consider you to be lucky. Living in the palace, your "boyfriend" with all that money. You with your designer clothes, your custom made jewellery. Everything your heart could desire of material things. But you were still in prison. Living by Richards rules. Doing what needed to be done for you to survive. Letting him do what he did every night. In order to survive.

When Richard tells you that his son, Daniel, will come to live with you, you actually feel relieved. You have no experience with kids. But maybe, just maybe having one stay in the mansion with you, will make Richard show his softer side. That is if he has one. You don't even ask why he haven't told you before. Or why, Daniel is suddenly going to stay with you. Did something happen to his mother? Richard probably bankrupted her as well, to get access to his son, and to get away from the ridiculous amount of child support he most certainly had to pay her. Better not to ask. To play along. Play the devoted stepmom. Pretending to be Richards new girlfriend, and Daniels new mom.

You go with Richard to pick Daniel up at the airport. As Richard says, you should be mom from the very first day. And Daniel should get to know his new mom. Like he really means that. Like he really cares about you. He knows what he's doing to you. He knows it's not real. Any of it. And he knows that you despice him.

Daniel looks nice, you can tell by his facial features that Richard is his dad. But he must look more like his mom. Aside from the facial features, you see nothing of Richard in him. Not even his personality. Richard introduces you as his new mom. That in itself is strange to you, but Daniel doesn't seem to mind. It's like he bonds with you from the very first second. The whole ride back to the mansion, he talks to you. About how he wants to go swimming in the clear blue ocean. And how he's never been outside his native country. By the time you arrive, you almost feel that Daniel came to stay with you, and not his father. Richard almost haven't said one word to him. It's you who does most of the talking. Are you like going to babysit him now? When Richard conducts his shady business deals. Poor kid. Losing everyone he knows. Stuck with you. You! You don't even know who you are anymore.

Almost the second you enter the mansion, Richard starts barking out orders.

- Get the boats ready! Daniel is finally home! Order tables for all of us at our regular restaurant! We're going to celebrate that my son is finally back where he belongs!

Everyone starts to do what needs to be done, in order to get the celebration going. Richard leans down to Daniel. Placing his hand on the boys shoulders.

- Welcome home, son!

Then he gets back up, placing a kiss on your lips.

- Show him his room, and pick out a nice outfit for him, will ya! We're going out to eat tonight.

You smile at him. Before looking down on Daniel. Placing your hand on his back. Smiling down at him.

- Let's find your room, shall we. I think you'll like it. Your father set it up for you.

Then Richard goes back to whatever he's doing, and you follow Daniel upstairs to the bedrooms. His room is right next to the one you and Richard are sharing. Hopefully that will make it easier to keep him from raping you. If he cares at all, what his son is hearing. Richard as a father.. How will that even work out?

-------------------------------------------------------

The boats glides easily through the water. With the wind in your hair, and Daniel safely tucked in a blanket, with his life jacket on, smiling, and waving to the girl in the other boat, you almost feel like a real family. For a split second. Before Richard puts his arms around you, leans down and whispers in your ear.

- Behave, you hear. No need to let little Danny know how it really is!

You swallow, before taking a breath and look up at Richard smiling, before you kiss him. Again he whispers to you, harder this time.

- That's a good little whore! Keep it up!

You have to swallow again, to not start to cry. Having Danny around wouldn't help much. You get that now, still in prison. Still Richards whore. Still having to give him what he wants. You need to get out of this. You'll die if you don't. You're well on your way there already. You feel like you've lost your soul with all the fucked up shit Richard tells you to do.

When these other people are around, Richard treats you like a Queen. Making sure you get food first, filling up your glass. Gently putting his arm around you, to show everybody that you're his. Corcoran is the only one that knows how things really are. And you hate those looks he gives you. They're even worse than the ones Richard gives you.

You get seated by a long table, with a stunning view over the ocean. In any other situation you'd love this. But not now, not in this situation. And with Danny in the mix. You feel nauseous. This is absolutely NO place for a child. Not even Richards child.

The chat goes smoothly through dinner. You talk a little with the other ladies around the table, and the guys keeps the chat neutral, without mentioning all the fucked up shit they usually talk about. Probably to spare the children from that kind of imagery. But, as the night goes on, and the champagne bottles keeps on coming. The chat takes a turn you don't like. And when Corcoran serves Danny a glass of champagne, you feel the need to stop things. But you don't. You can't. Instead you keep a watchful eye on Danny for the rest of the night, asking him about the games he's playing on his gaming device. Trying to keep him from hearing about the stuff Richard and his associates is talking about.

It's almost midnight, when you start to pack up your things, to start on the boat ride back to the mansion. You're about to tell Danny to put his device into your purse, when a couple of men shows up. You don't notice at first. Not until they point guns at you, and start to yell for you to put your stuff into bags. You try to shied Danny from all of it. But one of the men grabs him. You try to get him back, but it's impossible.

- Give me your jewellery!

The man yells, as he points his gun to Danny's head. Your scream sounds deafening, when you try to walk towards the man. Richard stops you. Holding you with one hand, lifting the other one up, to show the man holding Danny that he's surrendering.

- We got money! All you need to do, is let the boy go!

- All of it, we want all of it.

The man yells back. Pressing the gun to Danny's head. You take a step forward. If you can get them to take you, this might be your way out.

- Take me instead!

You say. Surprised by how confident your voice is.

- How much money do you have?

The man yells again. Totally ignoring you. Richard turns to Corcoran.

- How much, Corcy?

Corcoran looks from you, to Richard, to Danny.

- Two millions! We can get two million more within the hour!

Richard again turns to the man.

- See! Four millions for the boy. All you need to do, is let him go.

The man doesn't answer. Instead he and the other men drags Danny with them. You scream, both in desperation from them taking Danny, and for them not taking you. This was your chance to get away. And now it's slipping through your fingers. Richard is as calm and collected as he always is. Stone cold, dead inside. Gesturing for his men to follow them. Then you follow, closely behind.

Around the corner and down some stairs, you see Danny. All of the other men are gone. But Danny stands there looking at at guy, lying on the ground. You quickly make your way down to him, and hug him close.

- He saved me!

Danny says, pointing down to the guy on the ground. You haven't looked at him yet. Danny is the only one on your mind.

- He scared them away!

You wrap your jacket around Danny's shoulders, before pulling him close once again.

- Who is that?

Richard yells from the top of the stairs.

- He's our souchef from England. Tom Quince!

Richard walks over, looks down at the guy.

- No he's bloody not! That's Pine, from Switzerland!

Your heart skips a beat. Jonathan? What the fuck is Jonathan doing here? And why did he save Danny? Is he working with Richard? Did he tell him about what you said in Switzerland? Are they teaming up on you? Are they going to kill you? What is Jonathan doing here?

- Don't you worry, Pine! We'll take care of you.

You can hear Richard say. Is doesn't sound like he was expecting Jonathan to show up. Usually you can hear it in his voice. You've been with him long enough and close enough to look through his scams. But if this one is his plan to kill you. He might have changed his game. And you can never know with Richard. And right now. Jonathan scares the shit out of you. Why is he here? What does he want? Why now? Seems like a perfect timing. Saving Danny. Is it to fool you, or to fool Richard?

Either way, Jonathan is in no condition to talk now. You'll have to wait until he gets better, and try to make your questions as subtile as possible, not to blow your cover. And you have to tread carefully around Richard. If this is a collaboration between him and Jonathan, you have to multitask. Finding out why Jonathan is here, and searching for a way out. You decide then and there, to take Danny with you, if you manage to escape.

@nekoannie-chan @late-to-the-party-81 @there-goes-thefighter @here4thefanfics

[godesssiri]

I have had a VERY expensive day. My dog had a dental treatment that I'd budgeted $500 for but it was $800. I had to buy paint which I expected to cost $350-$400 and it was $370 but it's only half the paint I need - I'll have to shell out the same amount in a couple of weeks when we're ready to do a different part of the house. And my phone died, just fucking froze on the start-up screen and refuses to do anything. I took it to the shop and was told it's stuffed so I had to get a new one. Another $200.

I'm very lucky that between the money I'd set aside for the expected costs and the money I was able to transfer from my rainy day account for the unexpected costs, I was able to cover it all.

On the plus side, part of the reason the dog's treatment was so expensive is because the vet wanted to do some expensive testing before putting her under, because she's on anti-seizure meds and they can affect the liver so that plus anesthetic could have been bad. The tests all came back great. The med levels in her blood are right at the bottom of the therapeutic range which means they're working while being the least danger to her her liver and also if we ever need to bump up her dosage then there's plenty or room to safely do so.

[sigilmain]

Okay gonna rant coz I already did all this math for something else and I'm mad anyway.

Minimum wage in my state is $10.10

Many places used to do the thing of saying part time and then having it be like .1 hours under what is considered full time but they can't do that any more due to new laws saying if your average weekly hours are above a set amount for a 4 week period they have to give you benefits so rather than do the math they just hire at 15-20 hours a week

Which means to get full time 40 hours a week you need to work two or three jobs and hope the schedules don't overlap and if the schedules do overlap hope the places don't go "show up or get fired"

Now for math! If you are lucky enough to get 40 hours a week at minimum wage you're making $404 a week, or let's say $808 every two weeks as is the usual pay period

Keeping in mind that's before taxes come out; after taxes according to a calculator found on my state's official .gov website that's $632 every two weeks, or about $1,264 a month

The average one bedroom/one bathroom apartment in my area runs $1,000 a month on average and that's without utilities

On top of that, unless you have someone to cosign for you since they still have this outdated image that your rent should be no more than 1/3 of your income if you're not making at least $3,000 a month they will usually deny you

So to afford a one bedroom/one bathroom apartment you either need to share with 2 other people or work 120 hours a week at 9 different jobs without scheduling errors; keeping in mind there's only 168 hours in a week, so that work load leaves you 48 hours per 7 days [about 6.8 hours a day] to sleep, eat, shower, transport yourself to work, clean, do laundry, go grocery shopping, etc.

And let's say you do manage to find 2 people that you're willing to share a single bedroom and bathroom with [assuming you're just working 40 hours a week] so the rent goes down to $334 per month [rounding]

Of the $1,264 you've made that just leaves $930 per month to pay for a car/gas or transport like Uber since my area has 0 public transport, utilities [since those aren't covered in the rent], internet and phone bills, an groceries.

My last roommate's car bill was $300 a month, gas to get to and from his job that was just a 15 minute drive was nearly $100 a month. And can't forget car insurance, which you need to be able to legally drive! The cheapest car insurance in my state is about $80 a month, so there goes $480 leaving $450 behind if you're lucky to have a job that's so close by and not a 30-45 minute commute like my mom had when I was growing up

Utilities averaged around $100 a month and the internet $80 for stuff that didn't shut down the second we were both trying to watch videos on our computers, so let's say that's $180 divided by 3 people coming out to $60 a month which leaves $390

The current cheapest price I can find for cell phones is $30 a month through Cricket. Yes other places offer cheaper, including Mint Mobile at $15 a month, but those places only come at that price if you pay multiple months [usually 3-12 months] in one big lump sum. So let's take the $30 a month, leaving now $360 a month left over

I shop for myself, and my grocery bill averages $70 a week right now because of inflation. That's with me buying store brands, buying stuff to cook myself if the component ingredients are cheaper, doing meal prep, buying stuff that's on sale, having access to my house mate's store card that gives discounts on store brands because he works there, coupons, and every other money saving method that's reasonable for me. So $280 a month for groceries, and let's bump that up to $300 to account for times you gotta buy things like laundry detergent, deodorant, shampoo/conditioner, and things like that. We're down to $60 a month

$60 a month that you get to set aside to have savings. No going out to dinner, no subs to streaming services or your favorite video game or whatever, no accounting for pets or renters insurance or random expenses or your roommates eating your food or health insurance [since your jobs will likely fight you on providing it] or doctor visits or needing maintenance on your car or anything else

Working 40 hours a week with at least two jobs, often three, will leave you $60 a month to spend on non-bills if you share a one bedroom/one bathroom apartment with 2 people and the rent and utilities are paid equally between everyone and you have no surprise expenses

And people wonder why my generation and those younger have just given up on everything. This is the kind of shit that's happening to us and we get blamed for being lazy or not wanting to work but the reality is we know it doesn't matter; even if we do work we won't make enough and when we say we're struggling we'll still be called lazy when it's not our fault our government benefits too much from corporate greed to do anything meaningful about it. And why I'm just....tired. So, so tired.

[got-to-love-a-badboy]

Special guest

Previous chapter ^^^

Special guest

Chapter 10 - goodnight

Jack Grealish x female character

🔞 CAUTION! SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER 🔞

Will warn with a ⚠️ when smut is happening

"JACK!! there's a guy over there who's just taken a picture of us kissing!", Jacks eyes instantly shot over to the paparazzi behind the car, "shit!, El get in the car", she did as he asked and got in the range rover dreading what he would do next, Jack stomped up to the paparazzi, "MATE! What's your problem?!, why can't I enjoy a night out with friends, your the only one here, piss off!", the paparazzi didn't answer he just got into his own car and drove away, Jack would have to deal with this in the morning, as he walked back to the car he saw Ellie in the rear window, she looked so sad, had he caused her to feel this way, he was pissed of but he needed to fix how she was feeling.

He climbed back into the Range Rover and sat next to Ellie, "babe, come here, why are you sad?", he pulled her into a hug, "nothing, I just.. we've had such an amazing night and now that one guy has ruined it, the press are going to be all over you, il get abuse online, and what ever this is will end, It sounds selfish but.... I just wanted more time with you", Jack felt a mix of emotions, he felt the sadness that Ellie felt because yeah the guy had put a downer ob their night but he could save it, and he also felt extremely lucky because despite all this happening Ellie was worried about how things would be for Jack after, he always knew she was genuine but this confirmed it, anyone that was after him for the money or fame would be like 'it's out in the open now let's just go public! Il move in with you!' But not Ellie.

"Listen to me El, yeah it's changed our night but we were heading home anyway, we can make it what we want to, and as for the picture, yeah it's shit but we can deal with it tomorrow, we don't know what picture he got, it could have been the kiss or just us walking out, only time will tell", Ellie smiled at Jack, "wow, you surprise me Grealish, I totally expected you to loose your cool with all this", Jack laughed as he placed his hand on Ellie's thigh, "mr cool calm collected me babe, come on let's get back, we can watch a movie in bed eh?", Ellie leaned in and kissed his cheek and leaned her head on his shoulder, "sounds like a plan".

Once they arrived back at the house Ellie instantly bent over in the hallway and took her shoes off, Jack stopped behind her in amazement, he could only fight this feeling for so long, she wasn't even trying to seduce him she was simply taking off her shoes and it turned Jack into a horny mess.

Once her shoes were off she stood up as Jack walked behind her and placed a small kiss on her neck, "you want to watch a movie in my room?", Ellie could feel the tightening in her stomach, but she had to reply, she let out a shaky, "um ... yeah can do", Jack held onto her hand and walked up the stairs, as he reached his room Ellie announced, "I'm just going to change il be 2 minutes", Jack reluctantly let go of her hand and before he knew it she had vanished into her room, he thought he had ruined it and the moment was gone, so he went into his room got undressed and got into bed in his boxers.

Ellie closed to door and slumped to the floor as she pulled her phone out, 'please be awake!!', she thought as she text Jess.

Ellie - please tell me you are awake!

Jess - yeah babe what's wrong?

Ellie - oh god Jess!, we've had an amazing night and on the way out of the bar a paparazzi caught us kissing, I totally thought everything was over but we've come home and Jack had asked me to watch a movie in his room! What do I do, iv snuck off to change but do I go back!?

Jess - what the hell!, well do you want to? It's up to you, don't do it because he wants to, what to you want? Because you know a movie isn't a movie right?

Ellie - yeah I figured, I feel like I want to, I really do Jess, I'm so horny for him, but I don't want to seem desperate,

Jess - ok El!! TMI!

Then it's upto you babe, your an adult you can decide what you want to do, but you took your pill right?

Ellie - haha yeah mum! I took my pill. Ok il ring you in the morning! Love u!

Jess - love you more geek!

——————————————

Ellie decide on these pyjamas before heading back into Jacks room.

She knocked on the door softly, she heard Jack get out of bed and stumble, it sounded like he fell over and dropped his phone or something which made her chuckle.

"Ellie! Hi, I thought you decided against coming in here" Jack said as he scratched the back of his neck, "no I went to change", Ellie said as she spun around to show off her pyjamas, "yeah, I see, very cute. Come on in" Jack moved aside as Ellie walked into his room, "what was the bang when I knocked?", Ellie asked out of curiosity, "oh erm... I kind of jumped out of bed, banged my foot on the leg and dropped my phone", the two let out a small chuckle, "let me see your foot Jack", Ellie told him as she sat on his bed, Jack went around to his side and lifted his foot onto the bed, "it doesn't hurt that much" he told her acting tough, "yeah well it's bruising already, come on lay back, il sort the movie", Ellie told him, making him sit right back on the bed with his back resting on the headboard.

⚠️⚠️⚠️ warning ⚠️ ⚠️⚠️

Ellie had put the movie on and the two were laid on the bed watching fast and furious, her head was on Jacks stomach as she laid sideways on the bed so her bum was near the pillows, Jacks hand started rubbing Ellie back before making its way down to her hips and before long it found it's place on her bum cheek, "I'm so glad you came here tonight El", Jack told her, she turned her head to look at him, "me too, even after the photo and panicking about your friends iv had the perfect night", Jack smiled at her, "come here", he told her, she sat up and moved so she was sat next to Jack, he also sat up and put a hand on Ellie's cheek, "I can't keep pretending these feelings aren't here, you haven't noticed but iv been staring at your bum for the last hour" Jack laughed at what he just said, "you know what, neither can I, I get the caution and keeping quiet so I am fully happy for you want to do that but..." Ellie climbed on top of Jacks lap, "we're in the house and no one can see us, so why be cautious now", Jacks hands snaked around her hips and landed on her bum, he gently squeezed so he had both hands full, "god your irresistible Ellie", he leaned closer and connected their lips, Ellie's hands began combing through Jacks bed head as his stayed firmly on her bum.

After a few minutes of kissing, Ellie moved her hands from Jacks hair and took of her pyjama top, Jacks eyes opened in amazement, "Holy shit El", he moved one hand from her bum and caressed her breast, "your so fucking beautiful princess", Ellie connected their lips again this time with more passion, before pulling back and letting out a small moan from Jacks attention to her breast, "I need you Jack".

He couldn't take it no more, he flipped Ellie over and placed himself between her legs, "oh you will baby, but first there's something I need to do", Ellie watched as Jack slowly began kissing down her stomach and onto her thighs, "'mmm... Jack", she let out multiple moans, the thought of what was coming was driving her insane.

Jacked pulled down her pyjama shorts to reveal a set of white knickers that matched her bra, "how have you kept this hidden", Jack instantly moved her knickers to the side and connected his mouth with her clit, "oh my god! Jack!", Ellie screamed, this was the most pleasure she had ever experienced, she wasn't a virgin but Jack just hit differently.

Jack kept up the pace for 5 minutes, When he felt Ellie's legs shaking he knew she was close, he didn't want that to be the case for their first time so he disconnected his mouth in anticipation of finishing them both, Ellie had other plans, as soon as Jack moved, she pinned him to the bed, "my turn now Grealish" Ellie told him seductively as she sat on the floor and made him move to the edge, Jack brushed the hair from her face and looked into her eyes, "you don't have to do this El", Ellie sat up on her knees, "oh I do Jack, I want you", she told him, this drove Jack crazy.

Ellie kissed him on his lips as she tugged on his boxers, Jack wriggled out of them as Ellie places a hand on his stomach, "relax Grealish", Jack laid down on the bed as Ellie took his penis in her hands, she rubbed her hand up and down the length earning a groan from Jack, "fuck! Ellie... god", when she felt Jack was ready she placed his penis in her mouth, going slowly at first before gaining speed, she pushed her head further down so his penis was at the back of her throat, causing her to gag, she felt jack sit up on the bed so he could see her, she looked at him through her lashes, the sight of Jack coming apart could have made her crumble there and then, but she wanted to make this as sexy and memorable as she could, she pulled back and teased him with her tongue before Jack put his hand on her chin and lifted her up, "babe that was fuking amazing but I need you ... now"

Ellie laid on the bed next to Jack, within seconds he was between her legs, "are you 100% sure you want to do this" Jack checked with Ellie before he did anything, "Jack yes, just fuck me ... please!", he gave her a cheeky grin before guiding himself into her vagina, he placed one hand in her hip and the other on the pillow behind her head, he leaned closer to her placing kisses to her neck as he slowly thrust into her, he could feel her walls tighten around him, she was close, and so was he.

Jack sped up the pace and before long Ellie was screaming with pleasure, "oh god Jack!, I'm so close, keep going baby", he did as she asked and a few seconds later they both came at the same time.

Jack gave Ellie a gentle kiss and put his forehead against hers, " I did not expect the night to end like this but fuck Im glad it did!", he flopped on to his back next to Ellie, she rolled over and laid her head in his chest, "yeah it was amazing" she gave a little chuckle.

“Goodnight Jack” she whispered, “goodnight Ellie”, Jack replied sleepily.

Before long the pair fell asleep in each others arms.

[cambriancrew]

We Willows have these parts - we ourselves aren't the parts, we just each have them. Like with me, Sunni, the Exile is Little Me, the scared lonely little one who cries easily and worries a lot about how people view us. Firefighter me is the happy-go-lucky don't cry don't look sad put a happy face on even if you don't feel like it at all ignore everything bad stamp it all down and get lost in a game or chatting idly with friends. Manager me is main me, the one trying to keep everything running smoothly and working on things that bring us temporary happiness and satisfaction. As a whole though, we're working together to be genuinely happy about our circumstances and where we're at in life and where we're headed.

A recent instance of all of us working together was when our partner expressed frustration at having to take us to and from work at hours that were interrupting his sleep routine, and unhappy that we weren't working from home yet. First responder was Exile/Little Me, panicking that we had unintentionally been hurting him and wanting to cry in frustration at things that are outside of our control, like having to wait for six months out of training for the opportunity to go work from home, when we've only been out of training for about three months, and the fact that we have been car-less for over a year due to other financial obligations. Second was Firefighter, stamping down those emotional responses so we didn't start crying for no good reason on the way to work. Firefighter wanted to change the subject, talk about anything else besides what was so upsetting to Little Me. Third was Manager, who decided we could handle it, and made the plan to talk to our supervisor about any other possible way we can go work from home earlier than six months (we can, through ADA accommodations) and to see if we qualified for a good enough loan for a car so we can take ourselves in the meantime and so we can not be restricted to home when we go work from home.

With all of us parts of me, Sunni, soothed by having a plan - even if that plan was one that made us worry about our ability to actually do the car part of it due to our ever present financial stress and anxiety - and with support and encouragement from the rest of us Willows and several members of our Crew and external friends, we got through the emotional upset and figured out what to do about it.

(Which involved us taking money we had set aside to restart our UI Design course and put it as a down payment on an absolute steal of a car. Frustrating, but necessary, and ultimately really good because having the freedom to go places is really important for our mental health and general wellbeing. And got the paperwork to start the ADA accommodations process.)

Anyways. That's how the IFS system actually works, within someone who's done the work of recognizing those parts within themselves and getting them to work together. It's definitely NOT "home self" vs "work self" etc.

i mean, in a sense, your home self might fit as an exile and your work self might be a manager and your party self might be a firefighter or something

but now that you do mention the literal roles in IFS, I haven't seen one anti endo mention them.... like ever

Right?

And the home self and work self are referenced all the time despite having no basically no role in IFS in what I've read.

It's like all the anti-endos are just getting their (mis)information about IFS from other anti-endos.

Just for reference:

I think if work selves and home selves were separate parts at all under this model, they would probably both fall under the categories of Managers most of the time. But I do think a "party self" being a firefighter makes a lot of sense.

[echo-three-one]

Chapter 34

THE ROAD SO FAR

To the notable few people reading this. I hope you enjoy! Cheers!

High and Dry

"Alex"

MacTavish Residence, Glasgow, Scotland

Alex joined the commotion going on in the living room while he was on his way to get Samantha a cup of coffee before she woke up. The group consisted of Soap, Price, Jack and France facing a laptop.

He peeked for a while and saw Ghost, Roach and Maxine on the other end of the video call. He had no idea why they'd have to do that but proceeded to listen.

"So uh… we didn't find a single body on the ship. It's possible the waves already washed them somewhere. Guess I'll have to check on local news for more information. But what we do have are coordinates to a Site Hotel Bravo?" Ghost asked and the name didn't ring any bells.

Price and Jack's heads turned after hearing it and they slowly speculated before replying.

"I'll see what I can find." Price replied as their feed slowly lagged due to internet failure. Francine looked like she wanted to say anything to Max but the call ended abruptly.

"How could she just leave without telling me?" Francine complained while storming off.

"Maybe she had her reasons?" Soap followed her trying to calm her raging emotion. Alex nodded to Jack and Price who nodded back and went to the office. He felt like words weren't necessary to tell him that they'll be planning on their next move.

With everyone else gone, Alex made his way back to their room where Samantha was already awake and brushing her hair in front of the mirror.

Setting the cup of coffee by the drawer, a smile escaped his lips as their eyes met through the reflection, where she saw Alex slowly approach her and hug her back as they slowly swung sideways.

"Good Morning, Gorgeous." Alex muttered and kissed her on the cheek while Samantha giggled at the ticklish feeling of his moustache.

"Good Morning to you too, Handsome" she replied while her hands looked for him and intertwined them tightly.

"Any plans today?" She mused, tilting her head enough to meet his lips as they kissed intimately. 

"Hmm. Your best friend somehow made it to London today���" he murmured after their kiss, as Samantha's eyes opened wide.

"Hm?" was all she could say as their heads parted farther.

"My best guess is that they went back to the ship. Probably to look for Alexandra… or what remains of her." he continued as Samantha showed a worried look.

"Roach is with her…" he added once more in an attempt to not make her worry.

"I see what you are doing, 3-1." She mused. Alex's eyes widened to the sound of her using his code, he somehow found it… sexy.

"So we're using code names now?" He turned to Samantha who sat on the bed, the worry on her face was still obvious.

"Hey now." Alex called, smiling at the moment their eyes met.

"She'll be alright. She's got two strong soldiers around her. Don't worry." 

"I guess you're right…" she sighed in resignation as Alex leaned in closer for a hug. The said hug meant to assure her that everything will be alright.

Alex spent most of the day with Samantha, judging on how busy Jack and Price were, he assumed they're going to be back on the field again, and that means that she'd be left all alone and worried.

They caught Soap and France doing the same too, but since they're both soldiers, they won't be separating from each other. 

"I like to believe something's already going on with them." Samantha leaned in to Alex at the sofa, as the two watched Soap and France arguing at each other in the kitchen. It looked like they were seeing who gets to assemble a pistol first, but the bickering was longer than the actual game.

"Yeah? You should've seen them kiss back at the Gulag. That was uhh… a sight to behold?" Alex chuckled.

"Ohh they already did? I knew it. Even back at the infirmary, I could feel the both of them trying to vibe." Samantha mused and laughed and just after that statement. The two competitors already found themselves in a concerning situation. Soap was already on her back, his hands helped guide France's on the pistol, their faces were so close to each other, one slight turn could already be a potential time to kiss.

And that they did, Alex and Samantha saw France ask a question to which Soap answered by slowly tilting his head to her face. What happened next was that their eyes both closed and their lips met slowly at first then progressed into a more intimate session.

Samantha covered Alex's eyes and giggled as Alex did the same, laughing so hard that they were lying on the sofa.

After that, Price and Jack quickly announced that they'll be visiting Shepherd in Afghanistan. The two couples exchanged looks, where Samantha frowned as she realized that Alex would once again be placed in danger.

AFGHANISTAN

Alex didn't expect that they're going to visit Shepherd with full gear. It looked like Price and Jack made some negotiations to make this possible considering how the weapons looked expensive. Maybe earning favors was a good thing after all.

The rest of the team easily regrouped in Scotland, where Maxine and Samantha kind of got the whole MacTavish Estate to themselves. It's the safest idea aside from sending her back to her Dad.

Now, the rest of the squad is flying discreetly above Afghan borders on their way to Site Hotel Bravo. Intel suggests it's a hidden cave network which housed Shepherd's Elite troops called the Shadow Company, which the group already acquainted with back in London.

The plan is to stop Shepherd from finishing his EMP Nuke and attempt to destroy any trace of it from being rebuilt again. If possible, they could also use this opportunity to get intel on Nero.

"Da. There it is. The exact location of your coordinates." Nikolai announced over the comms. The rest of the team looked down on a barren canyon, no sign of anything that said "Camp". 

"For a military base, this one looks pretty empty." Roach commented.

"Well, if intel's correct then whatever is below that would be the one we're looking for." Ghost said, putting on his new and improved mask.

"Prepare for dropoff." Price signaled as everyone quickly attached themselves to the hook, as they descended after Price's signal.

"Let's get evil!" He cheered as his foot landed on the ground, dust quickly blowing on the wind.

They all raised their suppressed weapons and hid on the nearest covers.

"Sandstorms brewing up. We'll use them for cover." Price announced as he and Jack crouched forward, hooking to a rappel slid down the ropes, as they stealthily took down two guards by the elevated area.

As soon as the coast was clear, the group now gathered by the entrance of the cave and began to split up.

Alex and Jack were to locate and plant charges on the Nuke, permanently erasing such weaponry off the face of the Earth. Soap, France and Ghost's task was to locate any intel regarding Nero while Price and Roach will try to find Shepherd and beat the truth out of him.

"All-righty, kiddo. Let's get a move on." Jack nodded as Alex followed his former CO inside the cave. The scenery turned darker as the rest of the team split up to cover more ground.

"It's almost pitch black in here…" Jack whispered as he toggled his flashlight.

"You're not using a flashlight? Can you see in the dark, Alex?" He asked with amusement in his voice.

"Not really. But I eat a lot of carrots." He joked, turning on his lights and pushing forward to the dark tunnel. As expected, Jack wouldn't get the joke. Alex knew that some things would never change.

"You hear that?" Alex mumbled as sounds of footsteps echoed on the narrow walls, causing the two to lean close to the wall and turn off their lights. With his eyes beamed on the light at the end of the tunnel. People in lab coats shuffled across the halls, making their path correct.

"This is the right way." Alex affirmed as they slowly pushed their way to the Lab in stealth.

Jack followed, guarding Alex's six, as they reached the main hall of the laboratory. 

"This is Echo Three One, we already made it to the lab. Proceeding to locate the Nuke and plant the charges." Alex informed as they took cover behind corners, eyeing out for possible hostiles.

"Copy that three one, we're still on the lookout for Shepherd." Price reported.

"Uh.. Ghost kinda left us alone. He said he was going to cover our six but he's gone. This place is huge, we're still on the lookout for possible intel rooms." Soap muttered as Alex and Jack maneuvered the Laboratory as stealthily as possible.

When a small group of babbling scientists were heard from the halls, Alex and Jack quickly hid in the nearest room they could find, accidentally stumbling on the blueprints of the nuke.

The whole wall was filled with blue paper depicting an almost scale model of a rocketship. If this was the nuke Shepherd wanted, it was obvious why he desperately needed the money.

Jack's camera shuttered as he took a photo of the thing to report back to Price.

"So, how do we get rid of this?" he asked.

"More importantly, how is our charge going to set off that huge thing?" Alex asked and looked at the blueprints carefully.

"The engine." They both said, as they traced the engine.

"It's their final piece of the puzzle." Jack theorized.

"And we're lucky enough they haven't placed the thing yet." Alex continued.

The further they traversed into the lab, the more crowded it got. It was expected as they were building a huge EMP rocket nuke, and it was getting harder for Alex and Jack to advance further. Right now, their best option was to lock themselves in a comfort room.

"We need a diversion." Alex planned as Jack leaned by the sink, checking out his greying beard in the mirror.

"We'll wait for the others to alert the whole base." he replied. It was a risky move, but it would work. If they were to create their distraction in the lab, everyone would go here and make it much harder to set the charge.

"This is Echo Three One does anyone copy?" Alex's tone was annoyed.

"I guess they jammed this place up, kid. We're on our own." He said calmly as Alex clicked his tongue. Jack was right, they just have to wait.

But the anticipation of not knowing anything outside was worrying him. What if the nuke was already launched? What if the team already did their plans and they're still inside the damn comfort room?

Alex's mind was clouded with thoughts of failing. He was not used to this way of thinking, but ever since he met Samantha once again, he became more concerned of the safety of the group, more specifically, his safety. Back then, he was fine with sustaining injuries and being reckless, but now he wanted to get home from missions in one piece. Losing his leg was the last line he was willing to draw.

Then, the alarm systems blared, it was requesting every scientist to report to the bunker.

"See? All you need to have is a little faith." Jack smiled and readied his weapon, leaning closely by the door.

"After you kid, I always got your back." He said as Alex slowly flicked the lock open, his hand grabbed the door knob and slowly pushed it open.

Next Chapter : Red

Notification Squad my Beloved

@bumblingbee1 @enderio @smokeywhalee @samatedeansbroccoli @whimsywispsblog @ricinbach

[heleneplays]

oh i wake up and i write down a bit of helene spillane's dream backstory bc alparently its cry(? mayb angy?) hours rn

"My father is a genius businessman whose first instinct was to throw money on problems to solve them, and my mother an artist more concerned about her career rather than to stay home and watch over her kids society told her to have in order to be a good wife. They were both ambitious people driven by the want to succeed, to rise above their origins."

María pauses, shocked. Helene smiles, and it's horrifyingly bright.

"We wanted for nothing, materially. But as we grew, we had two paths-- gain their notice by excelling in whatever skills we chose, or to be nothing in their eyes at all."

The brunette sighs, still looking ever so soft; but her eyes convey a different story.

"Obviously I tried playing along the happy family with their genius daughter and son scenario for some time, but I just couldn't take it. I bent and broke and shattered, so my grandparents took me in. Molly, Jack, and Lola Cora were the ones to save me in the end."

Helene pauses, taking a sip of her wine.

"Obviously it took me some years to function as I did when we met in Oxford, and ever more so to be..." She waves her hand. "all this now."

She sets down the glass and closes her eyes.

"My brother didn't get as lucky-- he bore through all that and was their darling boy until his accident, and my parents found out that he was like us. It cast a pretty bad shadow to his 'dead' wife, and so made it my call whether to adopt his daughter as my own."

"So forgive me when I say I consider any remaining family aside my niece dead, because touching that clusterfuck of a situation is literally more stressful than the time Sam, Cleo and I hunkered down in Congo, or that time when I got captured and interrogated by that fucking rat bastard, OR that time in Transylvania with the 'lovely' company of the late Ariadne Stokes. You literally don't need to meet them."

my brain needs to move on dot org abt this one in particular bc I literally have so many ideas to still go thru AND implementing a whole ass brother and complicated parent history AND helene spillane actually having a dependent in her self canon story is gonna be too much but go off I guess

also like. I don't even know where this came from but uh aha don't mind me I have unresolved issues BUT u don't need to perceive it!!! this is garbage but it what I get for living with this dumpster of a brain............ but I still think it kinda poetic and dare I say. sexy (but in the worst way)

anyways i go back to sleep now gn bc in seeing my rl friends in the stream for my commish work later!!!!! so they can bonk me in the head bc I need their support to finish bc I get sidetracked (sorry to the ommisioners but i have them [janet from the goodpalce voice] its here but i keep doubting the lineart so im not sending the half wio yet for the two but i WILL have it by later, for the love of all that is holy) but also I think its nice to get back on them since we're all finally finished with our respective semesters

[dorkzilla-exe]

Zim, Dib, and Seven Smeets

A ZaDr series: Ep 1, Hatching Day

Dib: Zim, will you come down.

Zim: *sitting on top of the fridge* DO NOT DISTURB ME WHILE I'M IN MY PANIC SPOT!

Dib: Im just-

Zim: *crying* DIBBERSON, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, I'LL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE!

Dib: you said that an hour ago, I've got everything set up for the celebration, so at least be down before 3, ok?

Zim: wait, you did the decorating? You did EVERYTHING?! ON YOUR OWN?!

Dib: *smiles sinisterly* yes, yes I did, all on my own, probably made some mistakes in color arrangement-

Zim: LET ME SEE! YOU BETTER NOT HAVE MESSED ANYTHING UP!! *jumps down from the fridge and scurries into the living room*

Dib: works every time...

Zim: Dib, you didn't actually mess any of the decorations!?

Dib: I studied hard when you were decorating for Gaz's birthday, so I applied your decoration tactics to this room and... well... ta-daa!

Zim: you really are amazing, Dib. You know that, right?

Dib: I got the hint the day you gave me a ring-pop and asked for my hand in marriage.

Zim: I swear I didn't know it was candy, the person who sold it to me said it was worth 5,000$ and would sell it to me for 4,900...

Dib: I really didn't care about being proposed to with a candy ring, a ring is a ring to me, wether it's candy or not. Although, it is very concerning how someone managed to sell you a ring-pop for that much.

Zim: don't remind me...

Dib: would you believe me when I say I still have it?

Zim: no, I actually wouldn't.

Dib: well I do, I had it dipped in resin so it wouldn't deteriorate.

Zim: wow, how have I not noticed it?

Dib: remember that box I where keep stuff like pendants and pins? That's where the ring is.

Zim: that's sweet.

Dib: wait a minute, I just remembered we've got one more thing to do...

Zim: The Smeet's play-pen! We've gotta decorate that! Get the streamers! I've got some decorating to do!

[About an hour later]

Dib: alright, living room decorated, snacks and cake ready, little gift bags customized for every guest, flowers and other table decorations, and Zim's in the play-pen with the eggs. We are ready for the guests to arrive and it isn't even-

[Knocking from the front door]

Dib: right on cue, must be dad cause he's been early to ever other party. *answers the door* hey- uh...

Tallest Red: hello there, you must be Dib

Tallest Purple: How has Zim been? We haven't heard too much from him since he layed the eggs.

Dib: uhhhh... Hi I'm Dib Membrane, Zim's husband. Zim's been doing wonderfully, aside from the random anxiety attacks and his weekends of depression. Please come in! We have plenty of Irken friendly food and drinks ready, but remember to save some for the other guests. You two apparently aren't the only alien guests on our list.

Tallest Red: Thank you Mr. Membrane, we appreciate your hospitality. *enters with Tallest Purple*

Zim: My Tallest! I didn't expect you to be here until 10 minutes later.

Tallest Purple: see, I told you we were too early!

Tallest Red: EUGH, we could've brought the little ones Paks...

Dib: actually, we already thought of that. My Dad works at Membrane labs and designed him "Membrane Paks". They are designed to make it easier for them to identify us in a crowd, immediately begin healing if injured, ward off any diseases and illnesses, higher pain tolerance, and give them a longer life.

Zim: the only major differences are the Designs and application process. Instead of implanting electonics in abruptly, we will apply them more delicately, carefully and less painfully.

Tallest Red: hmm, I see, it would also be much easier to identify them if they ever decided to work for the Irken Empire.

Zim: i mean, you're not wrong. But I also invited here to ask for permission to retire.

Tallest Purple: retire?

Tallest Red: eumm... sure? Why not?

[1 hour later]

Dib: Dad, Gaz, the tallest, Skoodge, Tak, Tenn, Keef, Z, Zita, Clembrane, Prisinor 777 and his kids.

Dib: that seems to be about everyone, all we're missing are-

Anne: *annoyingly beating on Dib's Door* DIBDIBDIBDIBDIBDIBDIBDIBDIB!

Dib: Anne and Flish...

Dib: *opens the door, making Anne fall into the house*

Anne: Crikey, you've grown! You're 'bout as tall as Flishey now!

Flish: howdy, Dib. Sorry we couldn't make it to yer wedding last year.

Dib: it's ok, come on in you two.

Tallest Purple: oh yeah... we banished HER here too...

Tallest Red: I feel like Zim isn't our biggest concern anymore.

Anne: My Tallest! It's been YEARS! how've ya been!

Tallest Purple: good~

Anne: *gasp* OH MY GOSH! The eggs! Aw, they're absolutely precious! Zim, you oughta call yourself lucky! 'Lotta Irkens can't lay eggs y'know.

Zim: eheh, I know. Which is why I didn't fully expect it.

Dib: you should've seen him, he cried his eyes out the whole time and more.

Flish: Heha! sounds like Zim a'right. But don'cha get all concerned and stuff. It's completely normal to cry during egg laying. Er, from what I've heard at least.

Dib: it's official, everyone's here.

Tallest Purple: great!... Now what?

Dib: Um, we talk.

Tallest Purple: sounds boring.

Gaz: I have Videogames.

Tallest Purple: Ooo, sounds intriguing! What do you do?

Professor Membrane: son, may I speak with you for a moment?

Dib: sure.

Professor Membrane: let's go into the other room, ok.

Dib: *nods and walks into the bedroom*

Professor Membrane: something is wrong and I can tell.

Dib: *walks over to the bad, grabs a pillow, and screams in it*

Professor Membrane: I know your stressed, but everything will be just fine. I'm sure you and Zim will be great-

Dib: But what if we arent?! I work weekends at a coffee shop and Zim works at a clothing store in a mall. We can't provide for SEVEN babies! It took a lot of saving to get this party set up! I rarely get any tips and the one tip I got last weekend was from Gaz and it was a penny.

Professor Membrane: Ok, now that's just sad.

Dib: I don't know what to do! It's hard for me to get a different job, a barista was the closest I could do because I apparently make really good lattes. *sob*

Professor Membrane: have you ever considered working with me in the labs? You already know everyone there and know the place well. Plus, I could adjust your schedule so you don't have to come every day and you get paid just for being there.

Dib: you'd do that for me?

Professor Membrane: of course! You really do need the money, I could have you work as a lab assistant, but that's a little dangerous. I could put you in the mailing room? Or-

Dib: what about food service? I can cook, I can make coffee, tea, and plenty of different desserts.

Professor Membrane: that's a wonderful idea! I could make you work down at the cafeteria so your talent isn't wasted on Lattes!

Dib: Consider me hired! Ill be there tomorrow evening-

Professor Membrane: no no, you should stay home for a few days.

Dib: but dad, I-

Professor Membrane: Dibberson, I know you want to help out as soon as you can, but right now, Zim and your children need you here. Besides, it's hard to bond with a child while you're away, right?

Dib: I guess it is.

Anne: *Bursts through the door* Dib! It's about to happen! One of the eggs moved!

Dib: bwha?! Already?! I didn't think it would be this early! *runs to the living room*

Zim: Dib! There you are! Hurry over here, you don't want to miss this!

Dib: *looks over the pen* which one moved?

Zim: This one right here. *puts egg in lap*

Dib: When will they-

Zim: any moment now...

Dib: *puts hand on egg, feeling for any movement*

Zim: Dib, can I admit something before they hatch?

Dib: go ahead.

Zim: I knew about the eggs since the first day they began developing.

Dib: wanna know something? The 4 months before I helped you with the eggs, I was suspicious that you might've been pregnant. I was kinda right.

Zim: yes, yes you were. AH! DIB, IT'S HATCHING!

Dib: *removes hand, watching both the eggs hatch and his family grow before his eyes*

Zim: thank you, Dib

Dib: hm?

Zim: thank you for everything. I'll love you forever and on.

Dib: *pure panic* wait, you dont die after the eggs hatch, do you?

Zim: No, no I don't, but I'll love you longer than you'll ever know. And that's a promise.

From then and on, Zib and Dib lived a happy and eventful life with 7 beautiful Human-Irken Smeets.

The End

Zim: Or is it?

Dib: Not really, but for now, yes.