#we're gonna pick ourselves up and say not today

[therestofmyfandoms]

"i love you guys" never before have i felt such relief as i have in this moment oh my doodler

[glassartpeasants]

How To Love .04

Trafalgar Law x F!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, vandalism, awkward ex encoutners

A/N: here, eat up

music playlist

~~~

“Finally! The rush is over.” After what felt like hours, there were no customers or online orders to be fulfilled. Finally, your heart rate could go back to normal.

Picking up some water, you chug it down. “Thirsty much?”

“Piss off, Killer, you’ve been taking orders, and I’ve been running to make them!” You pant as you try to drink more water. 

“So rude.” Killer laughs before going to restock things. “I saw you finally got a car.”

“Yeah! I finally got my driver's license after waiting for my appointment to come up. Law was super happy for me when I told him.”

“How are things with you and Law?” 

“You're never gonna believe this! So yesterday, we almost kissed, but I got cockblocked by the delivery guy!” A sudden cackle fills your ears, making you turn to see Killer holding his chest.

“Oh, so the only time you laugh is at my misery?” Killer continues to laugh as he grips the counter. “Stop laughing, damnit!”

“Six months of waiting only to be cockblocked is the best thing I’ve heard all week.”

“Hey! I was healing from a breakup, you ass! I wasn’t gonna go out and kiss the next man I saw.” You huff while throwing a paper cup at him. “You're lucky we're in public, or I swear!” Leaning against the counter, you can’t help but let your mind wander back to yesterday.

The rain beat against the windows as the movie played to drown it out. Fighting and the dialogue of the villains ring in your ears. Both you and Law were waiting impatiently for your food to arrive.

“God, I’m so hungry. How long does it take for some grub to get here?” You complain.

“Calm down, it’s 3 pm. The rush is right now.” Law says as he can’t help but chuckle. “Plus, if we had just gone to get it ourselves-”

“But that would require changing, and I’m perfectly content on not doing that right now.” Shifting around, you get slightly closer to Law. “Also, I'm warm and toasty right here.” Law smiles as he looks down at you. Feeling his gaze, you look up and softly smile as your eyes land on his lips and yours.

“Law...” You whisper before moving just a bit closer, as does Law. His breath fanned against your lips, making your heart beat faster.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

The two of you quickly part faces, burning at the ruined moment.

“I’ll go, um, get it.” Law stumbles as he gets up to get the door.

“Yeah, sounds good.” Laughing nervously, you look away. As soon as Law was out of sight and earshot, you hit the couch cushion and whisper yelled a soft “Fuck!”

Letting out a huff, you push yourself off the counter. Last night's memories flood your senses as you feel your body heating at what could’ve happened if the delivery man had been only five more minutes late.

DING DING DING

“(Y/N) can you get that? I’m in storage at the moment!”

“Sure!” Turning around and running to the counter, you shake away the memories. “Hello, how can I-”

“Ah. I…didn’t know you were working today.” Your brain fried as you see your ex standing in front of you, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah.” The awkward tension felt suffocating as you tried to find the words to say. It’s been almost six months since you’ve seen Eustass, and he still looked the same as the day it all went down.

“Do you still get the same drink?”

“I was gonna get that expresso shit you guys do. Didn’t sleep much last night.” You raise your eyebrow. 

“I thought you hated expresso?”

“I do. I’m just working a twelve at the shop, and I don’t want to be sleepy.”

“Well, why don't you get a cold brew? And I thought you guys had a coffee machine at the shop?” Eustass's face went red as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

“I broke it.”

“You…broke it?” His face got even redder as he shifted his gaze.

“Killer and I were throwing tools to see if they’d stick into the wall, and one bounced off the wall and hit the coffee machine.” A silence fell between the two of you as you looked at him wide-eyed and slightly agape. After a few seconds, you managed to compose yourself.

“I have no words other than your total is 5.18.” Eustass let out a cough before pulling out a ten. Grabbing it, you cash it out and give him his change.

“I’ll go make the-”

“I got it.” Killer cuts you off and grabs the ticket before you can make it. You could feel your eye twitch, but shove your irritation down with a sigh. Turning your head, your eyes met Eustass’s, and all the questions you’ve had since rushed through your mind.

“Is there something wrong with me?” Eustass's eyes sift as he sees you grip the counter. “Did I do something wrong?”

With a gentle sigh, he responds. “No. There's nothing wrong with you, and you did nothing wrong. It’s me who has something wrong with them.” Eustass runs his fingers through his hair. “I should’ve got my shit together and grown up instead of always chasing a constant thrill. Too immature that I kept staring at other women.”

“Out of all the people in the world. Why (.....)?”

“Wrong place at the wrong time. She came over to see you cause, apparently, you two had plans that day, and she had just come over early. And you know what happens after that…” You look at him like he was speaking another language cause you know for a fact that you did not have plans with her that day. 

“We didn’t have plans that day.” Eutass looks shocked at your revelation.

“What? Why did she come over then?” You throw your arms up.

“How am I supposed to know?!” Another silence falls among the two of you before Eustass speaks.

“Whatever the reason is, it doesn’t matter. Just know that none of it was your fault. Not my cheating or anything. You were perfect in every sense of the word. And I'm a fool for taking you for granted.”

You look away and sigh before turning back to Eustass. “Despite the fact I still want to kick your ass, I’m glad you’ve taken responsibility.”

“It’s the first step to maturity, right?” A small chuckle leaves the two of you.

“I supposed. Just don’t change yourself too much.”

“Here’s the cold brew, Eustass.”

“Oi, thanks, Killer.” Killer nods before leaving you and Eustass alone again. “Wait, I thought I got an expresso?”

“I rang it as a cold brew. It has more caffeine in it and is not as bitter. And it’s cheaper.” Eustass looks down at the coffee before giving it a whiff.

“Just try the damn thing!”

“Give me a second woman, god!” He huffs before taking a sip. “Oh, that’s not so bad.” You roll your eyes before you see another customer come in.

“I guess that's my cue to get the hell outta here. It was…nice to see you and talk to you again.”

“Yeah…you too.” Turning around, he waves before closing the door to the cafe, leaving you to boil in your thoughts.

‘Yeah, you too? Why the hell did I say that? I didn’t miss him at all! Did I?’ The inner turmoil from all those months ago resurfacing. Even if some of his words gave you closure, you still couldn’t help but feel pain in your heart.

The fact that even after breaking your heart, he was still so easy to talk to. That he even got a chuckle out of you! Why? How on earth did he still manage to make you laugh? Why was there this burning in your chest when you thought of him? Months ago, you were filled with hate and hurt, and now, even if it was for a second, talking to him feels normal again.

“Hi, sweetie, how have you been?” An old, gentle voice breaks through your voice.

“Oh! Mrs. June! Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. But I’ve been okay.” You give her a small laugh as you look at the little old lady. Your week was going great, but now having that talk with Eustass fucked it up. Filling it with doubt and more questions.

“Is it about the man you were just talking to?”

“What?! No! I’m okay! Really!”

“Dear, I was your age once too. Not to mention, I have children your age, too. I know when troubles are caused by a boy.” The caring voice she carries makes you let out a sigh.

“My ex just came to the shop after not seeing him for six months since he cheated. Talking to him felt so normal, just like it used to be. But I don’t love him anymore. I shouldn’t love him anymore. I’ve fallen in love with someone else. Everything was fine. I was happy. But now he just had to waltz back in, and there's a burning in my heart.” Admitting it did feel much better. Instead of keeping it down and suffering, having an unbiased opinion is nice.

“Oh, sweetie, you simply miss the memories. You miss what once was. It’s normal. I’m sure you loved him very much, so it’ll always hurt, no matter how much time has passed.”

“But I’ve fallen in love with someone else?”

“It happens to everyone. You're not a bad person for it.” Letting out a breath of relief, you feel a weight lifted off your shoulders.

“You really know what to say. Thank you, Mrs. June.” She places her hand on your own.

“Anytime, dear.”

~~~

The day seemed to drag as he couldn’t help but think about you and the kiss you almost shared. How, after dreaming of your lips on his, he would finally get to feel them. But of course, it was just his luck; the delivery guy ruined the moment. Law’s never wanted to strangle someone more in his life.

“Hey doc, we got a female, age 24, coming in for back pain. Room two.”

“Hmm? Oh. Okay, thanks.” Grabbing the chart, Law movies towards the room.

“Hello, I’ll be your-”

“Law! It's you!” Hearing that ear bleeding voice ring in his ears make a scowl appear on his face. Of course, it had to be her, of all people, when he was already annoyed. Gritting his teeth, Law could only picture going home to you and Bepo to calm him down. You smile and ask him about his day, and Bepo comes up to welcome him home.

“I’ve missed you so much! I’ve tried to get in contact with you, but-”

“You said you're here for back pain, correct?”

“Well, yes but-”

“Have you hit anything? Where does it hurt specifically?”

It’s evident that Law’s lack of normal conversation bothered (.....). Her nostrils flared, and her eye twitched, but she quickly shoved it down. “How’s Bepo doing? I’m sure he misses his mom.”

“He’s fine.”

“I mean, I’m sure he’d be delighted to see me.”

“He doesn’t care. He’s a cat.” While Bepo obviously was more than just a cat, (.....) didn’t deserve the thought that she was missed, even if it was something as simple as a cat.

“I’m sure you’ve missed me, isn’t that right, traffy?” Her voice, trying to be sickeningly sweet, only sounded like the screaming of a fox. Her use of her old nickname for him makes him feel sick.

“Don’t call me that. It’s Dr. or Trafalgar to you.” Law snaps at (.....). No one was allowed to call him that. Hell, she was the only one that did. The nickname grinds his gears.

Cracking her knuckles, (.....) takes a deep breath before scoffing. “...Is that mooch (Y/N) still living with you?”

Law gripped the clipboard violently. He was already struggling with remaining calm just seeing her, but now that she’s trying to insult you? The one person who seemed to get him and care about him genuinely? That would not stand.

“She’s not a mooch, and yes, she is.” Law answered with gritted teeth.

(.....) rolled her eyes before continuing. “She’s probably still working that dead-end job at the cafe. I told her that she was going into a stupid career path.” (.....) words made Law grip the clipboard even tighter. “She isn’t even good at art or writing.”

Hearing (.....)’s final words, Law’s grip on the clipboard was tight enough to put a crack in the plastic. “Take that back (.....). Right now.”

“Why? We all know it’s true.” Seeing red, Law finally snapped.

“She’s one of the most creative people I’ve ever met. Her creativity is something you could never hope to achieve. Not to mention, she took those as minor classes. If you ever dared to use your fucking ears, you’d know she went to major in being a chef.” Law’s words pierced through (..... like bullets. Each more painful than the last.

“Everything about her is nothing you could ever hope to be!”

“You're acting like you love her!”

“That’s because I do!” Law immediately slammed his mouth shut with his hand. The room became tense and silent.

“That fuck did you just say?” (.....)’s voice drops as she clutches her fists. Her pupils dilate. Once full of awkwardness, the room is now full of uneasy tension. Law’s body filled with concern as the look on (.....) was murderous.

“There’s no fucking way I’ll let that bitch take you away from me.” She sneered as she looked at Law. “I refuse to let that bitch take you!” Her scream echoed off the walls. 

“What the hell?! I’m my own fucking person.”

“You are supposed to be with me!” Suddenly, two men come into the room. The screaming from earlier had already prompted security to call.

“We got called for screaming?”

Pointing to (.....) Law quickly answers. “Her! She needs to leave!” Nodding and taking his word as fact, the security guards go to (.....).

“Ma’am, you need to leave. Please don’t make this harder than this has to be.”

“Don’t fucking touch me! I’m not leaving until I finish talking to Law!” (.....) turned her head towards Law, who stood by the door.

“Leave (.....) there's nothing to talk about.”

“No!” Pushing past the guards, (.....) tries to run up to Law, only to be stopped by security. “Get off me!” The sound of (.....)’s scream echoed throughout the hospital as she was dragged out of the hospital.

The whole encounter had Law shaken as he sat in his office and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Holy fuck…” Of the two years he’s dated (.....), never has he seen that side of her. It’s been so long since he’s broken up with (.....), yet with her reaction, it felt like it only happened yesterday. It was unnerving, to say the least.

DING

Pulling his phone from his pocket, he sees a text from you and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. With a soft smile, he opens it.

“It sounds great.” A soft chuckle leaves Law’s lips before he replies and puts the phone back in his pocket.  Looking down at his desk, he couldn’t help but smile at the prospect of getting off work to see you once again.

-I made a drink inspired by you :)

-Is it good?

-Of course it’s good! I also made Bepo out of wiped cream

-Bepo’s not that fat

-One day, you’ll take off your rose-colored glasses. Does pasta sound good for dinner?

~~~

As the day turned into night and the street lights shown bright, it was finally time for you to go home. With all the rushes through the day and that emotional encounter with Eustass, the concept of home sounded heavenly.

Considering Killer left earlier for a doctor's appointment, you were the only one to close up. Thankfully, the rest of the day was quick and easy. There were no rude customers or rushes. It's the perfect night to be closing by yourself.

It also happened to be the first day you got the car you had saved enough money for and bought off the Facebook Marketplace. It was a beater, sure, but it was your first car. Taking the bus was fine for the first two months, but after almost getting robbed at the bus station, you decided it was time to face your fears and go get your driver's license.

You didn’t tell Law until it was all said and done because you wanted it to be a surprise. Even getting in to take your driver's test took eons. It was booked months out! So when you finally managed to take it, you made sure you passed that test. After that, you just had to save up. And now, you have a driver's license and a new car. There was a nick or two of missing paint, but you loved it.

As you close up shop, you notice something on your car's back window. Squinting your eyes, you let out a gasp at the sight of your back window shattered.

“No, no, no, no! What the hell happened?!” As you run up and get closer, your mouth drops open, and you can only look on in horror.

The closer you got, the worse it got. Instead of what you thought was just a broken window, you're met with your tires slashed, every window shattered, and horrible names carved into the side of your car. Glass shards covered the pavement around the car and in the inside of your seats. The metal of the car ruined as the words ‘bitch’ and ‘whore’ were carved into the car doors. Each headlight busted along with your mirrors.

The car you had spent so long saving up for and were so proud of is now reduced to nothing but a hunk of junk. As you stared at your car in horror, one thought ran through your mind. ‘Who could have done this?’

A feeling of unease fills your body as you look around the dark, empty parking lot. The only one there was you, and what was your car. Grabbing the store key from your key ring, you run back into the store. As soon as you lock the door behind you, you make a break from the security camera footage.

Logging into the computer, you click on today’s date and start recording. You put it on 2x speed as you scan carefully. It showed your co-worker opening the shop, and then a few others showed up before the customers. The day goes by before you show up. Now, you get even closer to the monitor, determined to figure out who would do such a thing.

Finally, at 7 p.m., you see a person dressed in all black emerge from the shadows. Trying to get a closer look at their face, you see they are wearing a mask, which makes you frown, but you continue.

You watched them pull out a knife from their pockets before slashing each of your tires. Zooming in, you watch as they use what you assume is a key to carve into your car. They go to both sides before getting up, looking around, and moving out of frame. Not even seconds later, the person comes back into the frame. Your mouth drops open as you watch them use a rock to violently smash your windows.

“What?! How did I not hear that?!” Switching to the inside security camera, you fast-forward to 7 p.m. to see what was happening. You immediately lower your head and let out a quick “God damnit” at the sight of you dancing to the music you had on blast while closing. 

Standing up straight, rage boiled in your veins as you kicked the nearby trash can “Fuck!” Looking down at the camera footage again, your heart stops when you see the hooded figure staring straight into the camera only minutes before you see what happened to your car. The shine of a knife in their pocket made you swallow the lump in your throat. 

You pull out your phone and get to Law’s number. “Come on, come on, come on!” The sound of the ringer going to voicemail causes a sweat to start. Ending the call with Law, you immediately try to call Killer. Every second you heard it ring, it felt as if you’re getting grey hairs. Yet just like Law’s, his, too, went voicemail.

You begin to panic as you try to think of anyone else to come pick you up or at least talk you through what to do. You didn’t have many friends. At least ones that you trust enough to give you a ride. Biting your lip, you start panicking before a number comes to you.

“No, I can’t call him.” You begin to pace around as you fight with yourself. Finally, after taking another look at your destroyed car in the camera footage, you dial the number.

“Please pick up the phone.” Crossing your fingers, your heart beats with every ring.

“Oi-”

“Eustass! Is this you?!”

“(Y/N)? What-”

“I know you said you're working late, but please, I need you to come to the cafe.”

“Are you okay? What’s going on?” Your breathing becomes ragged.

“It’s hard to explain, but I don’t feel safe right now and-”

“I’ll be right there. Stay inside the cafe till I get there, alright?”

“Alright.”

“I’ll see you in five.”

“Okay.” the call ends, and you look at the security footage and set it to live.

~~~

Like he said, it took only five minutes before you heard his car pull up. You watched him park up front and get out of the car, and only then did you go back outside. “Thank god you're here, Eustass.”

“Yeah, so am I. What happened? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Follow me.” You wave your hand for him to follow. As you stop in front of your car, you hear Eustass exhale before running his fingers through his hair.

“Holy shit, is this your car?” Nodding, you look at it with heartache.

“It was my car. But some hooded figure vandalized it while I was closing up shop. I couldn’t see their face or anything. What’s worse is that after they trashed it, they stared at the camera for a minute or two before leaving. They had a knife to slash my tires, and when they looked in the camera, they made sure I could see it.” Crossing your arms, you sigh as you think about it all.

“I didn’t even know you got your license. So this is a bigger shock than I originally thought.”

“I just don’t understand. Who have I done wrong to deserve this? Not to mention, I had just bought this car yesterday!”

“Maybe it was a case of the wrong car?”

“No one has a car like mine. At least that I work with.”

“How about you call the cops and have them check it?”

“That’s not a bad idea. But can you stay here until they come? I’m not sure I feel safe being alone…”

“Yeah, of course.”

~~~

Despite the cops taking forever to arrive, they managed to tow your car to the station as they took your story and the security footage. You gave them your number, and they said they’d contact you with any updates. This left you now in the passenger seat of Eustass’s car with a bag of McDonald's chicken nugget meal and a shake, taking a fry from the bag every once in a while.

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look so depressed eating fries.” Eustass chuckles, trying to lighten the mood. “Do they taste bad?”

“They taste like 3,000 dollars down the drain.”

“Not very salty?”

Grabbing another fry from the bag, you pop it into your mouth. “No.” Laying your head down on the window, your eyes follow the street lights. “Thanks for taking me to get chicken nuggets and driving me home.”

“No problem. It’s been a day for you.” The tense silence was as overwhelming as the elephant in the room, suffocating.

“I got a dog.”

“Oh? I thought the place didn’t allow animals?”

“I moved a month after you left. Bigger place and allows animals.”

“What kind of dog?”

“It’s a pittie I found eating out of my trash can.”  You couldn’t help the small chuckle that left your lips.

“Probably smelled all the beef jerky wrappers and thought they were in for a snack. What’s their name?”

“Rocky.”

“Of course, you named them Rocky.” The two of you begin to argue playfully as you approach you and Law’s apartment. It felt nostalgic almost. Sitting in the car talking and arguing about whatever. But even if it felt nice to talk, the thought of Law and the way he looks at you has overtaken the spot in your heart the Eustass once owned.

As you once again enter the apartment's parking lot, a sigh left your lips. “Well, we’re here. Thanks again for staying with me and driving me home once again during all that.”

“It’s fine, I promise. I’ll see you sometime…?”

“Yeah…see you sometime.” Leaving Eustass’s car, you make your descent up the stairs.

Throwing his head back, Eustass stares up at the roof of his car. “Can’t believe I fucked it all up.” He sighs. Looking at your shared apartment with Law, Eustass rubs his eyes from the tears that threatened to spill. “Treat her better than I did, Law.”

~~~

Parking in his spot, Law gets out of his car and is finally ready to be home after such a long day. Looking around, he notices your car isn’t anywhere to be seen. Were you still out? Law scratched his head before walking upstairs.

As he unlocked the door, he heard cries and saw your shoes on the shoe rack. You were home but crying, and without the car, you were so excited about. Slowly closing the door, Law listened to your cries. It led him into the living room, where he saw you crying. A case of chicken nuggets was open, and a half-drank shake was on the coffee table. Tissues were overflowing the trash can.

“(Y/N)?” Taking a simple step, he sees the mascara running down your face. “Are you okay?”

“No! I’m not okay!” Plopping a nugget into your mouth while you sniffled. “My car got vandalized to the point I can’t drive it! I haven’t even had it for a full twenty-four hours!”

Law’s eyes widened at your words. “What? What do you mean vandalized?”

“My tires were slashed, windows busted, the side of my car carved with horrible names, and my mirrors and headlights smashed! Everything was destroyed!” Letting out a hiccup, you take a sip of your shake. “Then I fucking saw Eustass today, so that was perfect!” You huff.

“Really? Odd. I had (.....) at the ER today. That was a whole ordeal.-”

“That’s when I tried to call you and Killer. Neither of you answered, so I had to call Eustass to pick me up and bring me home!”

“I’m sorry (Y/N) if I had known…”

You sigh. “It's not your fault. It was just an awkward and horrible day.” Law looks at your form. He hasn’t seen you so distraught since the first day he took you to his place to stay.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Law looks at you. “Do you…want a hug?”

Nodding, you get up from your cocoon of blankets off the couch. “Yeah.” You wrap your arms around Law’s frame and begin to cry into his clothes. Wrapping his arms around you, Law delicately places his chin on your head. “It’s not fair.”

“Not it’s not. But I'm sure the police will find the asshole that did it.” Law tried to reassure you.

“I tried to check the camera at the cafe, but there was a hooded figure with a knife. They even looked into the camera and made sure I could see it.” You let out a shaky breath and hold him closer. ���How did they know it was mine? I was the only one closing, and no one was there with me. What would have happened if they decided to break in or wait for me to leave the store?”

Rubbing your back, Law tries to comfort your worries. “You're home now. Your home, and I’m here.” He swallows the lump in his throat. “I promise. I won’t let anything ever happen to you.”

“Thank you, Law.”

~~~

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[cowgurrrl]

Yo Gotti

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

Author’s note: MOM JUNE’S BEING UNHINGED ON THE INTERNET AGAIN

Summary: You and Joel read thirst tweets together. Chaos ensues. [1.2k]

Warnings: internet speak, pregnancy, Joel Miller being a Wife Guy

"Hi, I'm Joel Miller," Joel says into one of the Buzzfeed cameras, and you smile as you introduce yourself. "And we are going to readin’ thirst trap tweets today. Both for ourselves and for us as a couple."

"It's gonna be weird," you laugh. "I wanted to do the puppy video, but Joel said no."

"If you weren't pregnant, we could do the puppy video." He says, resting a protective hand on your stomach. You're only twenty-one weeks, but you're way bigger than you were at this point with Sam which makes sense, considering there are two babies instead of one. Still, Joel has been overprotective, bordering on overbearing, as your pregnancy progresses, but you know it's because he loves you so much. Besides, the extra attention is kinda nice. The producer walks over with a bucket full of slips of paper, and Joel lets you choose the first one.

"The way I would let her redacted my redacted redacted," you laugh, and Joel peeks over your shoulder to see just how many 'redacted's there are, and he laughs too. "This is a pretty good one to start with." Joel picks one and immediately furrows his brows, mumbling the words under his breath.

"I don't think I get this one," he admits, and you laugh as you read it. It's a picture of his side profile from one of his music videos, the tweet reading, "What Doja Cat said." "How is that even dirty?" He asks, looking to you for an answer, and you take a deep breath to try and keep a straight face.

"Do you not know what they're talking about?"

"No," he says, and you laugh as you point at the camera.

"If your name is Sarah or Ellie Miller, click off this video now," you say before returning to him. "Doja Cat is a rapper, and she-"

"I know who Doja Cat is."

"Okay, sorry," you roll your eyes dramatically. "Anyways, she said in an interview once that she liked big noses because you can sit on them," you and Joel laugh loudly, a blush creeping up his neck, and you shake your head. "These are fucking unhinged. I love them."

Much of the interview goes that way, you read a few, and then Joel reads a few, and you laugh at them together. Joel doesn't understand a lot of the internet speak, which results in you having to explain it to him in terms he'll understand. You never thought you'd have to explain to your husband what the fuck someone means when they say he put his whole "Joelussy" into his most recent album, Between Oceans. One of them, in particular, makes you raise your eyebrows at him as you hide the paper from him.

"Are you ready for this one?" You ask.

"I don't know. Am I?"

"Say what you want about parasocial relationships, but Joel Miller being crowned Sexiest Man Alive and then him and his wife announcing they're pregnant with twins three months later is so important to me." You read, and he shrugs.

"Those two things are not related."

"Yes, they are." You say, and Joel gives you a look.

"No, they aren't." He doubles down, and you glance between him and the cameras. You bite back a comment about being pretty sure of when he impregnated you once again.

"Are you being serious right now?" You ask instead, and he laughs.

"There's no way!"

"Joel," you say, looking at him seriously like you're trying to transport your thoughts into his head, but he just stares at you. You laugh as you lean in, covering your mic, and whisper in his ear about the night of his cover reveal party back in November.

"Oh!" He yells, suddenly connecting the dots. "Okay, yeah. Those two things are related."

"Thanks, People Magazine!" You laugh as Joel suddenly sits up and points at the camera.

"Hey, if I never get awarded World's Sexiest Man Alive ever again, that's totally fine! No more!" He waves his arms in an X position, and you copy him.

"Yes, he's done! We're done!"

"Was this pregnancy a surprise?" The producer asks, and you rest a hand on your stomach out of habit.

"I mean…" you trail off, looking at Joel. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Sure, we can talk about it."

"We were talking about having one more baby, but we weren't going to plan anything, so we just kinda left it up to chance and…"

"We thought four was a good number." Joel finishes for you, and you nod.

"And hey, guess what's a better number than four?"

"Five," you and Joel say in unison.

"Do you know if you're having fraternal or identical twins?" The producer asks, and Joel looks at you to see if you want to answer.

"They're identical." You say, running a hand over the expanse of your belly, and all the people on set clap. You smile and thank them before diving into the rest of the thirst tweets.

"Well, that was…" Joel tries to find the words as you get to the bottom of the bucket. "Certainly somethin'."

"Joel is famously oblivious to how handsome he is, so I'm glad we could force him to see just how many people, besides me, think he's cute."

"They thought I was more than cute," Joel says, smirking and leaning back in his chair. "What was it that one person said about my nose?"

"Okay, you're done!"

"No, I seriously don't remember. Can you remind me?" You immediately recognize the flirty tone in his voice and playfully shove his face away from you so you can hide the blush on your cheeks. "Do y'all see how she treats me?" Joel laments, and you laugh.

"Oh, you're obviously very neglected."

"I'm just sayin' what the audience is clearly thinkin'," he shrugs. "We should kiss just to put their minds at ease."

"You're worried about the audience's minds now?" You ask, and he hums, already leaning in. You give him a look but kiss him anyways. Six years of marriage and three kids later, and he still makes you feel butterflies in your stomach. You sign off by promoting each of your newest projects and thanking Buzzfeed for the opportunity.

"Do you think more celebrity couples should read thirst tweets together?" The producer asks.

"I don't know if there are any celebrity couples that are as cool as we are," Joel says before you can say anything, and you laugh.

"That's true. We are pretty cool though our kids might disagree."

"They're pretty cool, too," Joel says, and you nod. With that, you wrap and thank the crew for everything.

The day the video goes up, it goes viral with people screaming about Joel's reactions, your laughs, and the People Magazine story. But the thing that they get the most excited about is seeing you two interact. You see one post that says, "This video might as well be called Joel Miller being in love with his wife for six minutes straight," with a picture of you two kissing attached. Joel, never one to shy away from a challenge, posts one of the first pictures of you and him not taken by paparazzi but by him. You're at the beach with your back to his chest, resting between his legs as you two sit in the sand, and his lips are pressed to your temple. In the caption, he writes, "In love with you then. In love with you today. In love with you tomorrow."

Instagram breaks within the hour.

[themultifandomgal]

John Shelby- In Heaven Together

This was a request over on Wattpad. It’s a sad one. I cried writing this because I miss John!

Christmas Day started out as any other Christmas for John, Esme and the kids. YN the eldest of Johns kids was woken up by the younger kids and the dog all jumping on her bed. Esme made breakfast, they opened presents. Ada had also been over the day before to drop off presents. However everything changed when a car pulled up outside of the house

"Dad there's a car outside" YN says looking at the black car that's just pulled up the drive

"Get away from the windows and take your siblings upstairs" being the eldest child of all of Johns children she obliges as she watches her dad pick the shotgun up. YN ushers her siblings up the stairs as John opens the door "oh it's you" this immediately settles the young girl "got nothing better to do on Christmas morning?"

"You lot go up I won't be long" she tells her siblings. Being the ever so curious YN Shelby, she takes a peek at who's here. Michael? Why's dads cousin here? She asks herself

"Tommy wants everyone at Charlie's yard"

"What's gonna happen it's fucking Christmas man"

"Look, John, we don't have time for this" Esme rushes out the door to Michael

"Tell Tommy Shelby, we can look after ourselves"

"Tommy says that they could come for us today"

"Tommy says, Tommy says. Are you his fucking parrot?"

"Dad who's coming for us?" YN asks moving from her hiding position

"It's the Mafia alright! It's the New York mafia we're talking about" Michael should not hearing YN. She stands next to her dad looking at him with worried eyes

"Dad?"

"We're fine YN. We're the peaky fucking blinders"

"No we're not John. We're not the Peaky fucking Blinders unless we're together"

"Dad Michaels scaring me"

"You were together in the gallows with one man missing"

"John, come to the meeting. All right? Think about the kids" YN then starts to hear horse shoes getting closer

"Dad?" she says with a frown

"Come to the meeting and if you want to leave, then fine"

"No. It's Christmas Day" Esme replies "were the family now, we're staying at home" that when YN notices a man jump from behind a hay bail

"Dad!" YN screams. Immediately John pushes YN behind him getting his gun ready

"Get in the fucking house!" he yells. Michael grabs hold of the young Shelby and pushes her away just as more men appear. Esme closed the door behind her as the sound of gunfire becomes deafening. YN holds on to her step mum as tears fall down both their faces.

As soon as the men have left Esme throws the door open, running to John. YN slowly makes her way out. She sees both her dad and Michael on the floor, blood pooling around both of them

"Dad? your just pretending aren't you? A game? Right dad?"

"YN, inside" Michael chokes out. Esme's screams could be heard from a mile away, but the 14 year old girl was stood frozen.Tommy was the first to the scene with Finn and Arthur not far behind

"YN?" Tommy slowly approaches his eldest niece, still staring at the scene in front of her, she barley notices her uncles until Tommy stands in front so to shield YN from her dads body "YN?" he says again. Realisation suddenly hitting her like a ton of bricks. She had now lost her dad. He will have joined her mum in heaven

"He's gone isn't he?" she gasps as tears now spill out of her eyes "my dads dead" tommy wraps his niece up in his arms while Arthur tends to Micheal

"Shhh I got you"

"Mums dead, dads dead. Why couldn't things go back to the way they were when we only had the betting shop? If they did dad wouldn't have died"

"We've always had enemies YN"

"But now I'm alone" she cries into Tommys chests

"Your not alone. I promise your not alone" he whispers into YNs hair. YN pulls away from Tommy and kneels by her dad

"I love you dad" YN whispers giving her dad one last kiss on the cheek and hug before Tommy pulls YN off when it's time to move the body

"John loved you too, was smitten the moment you arrived on this earth"

"At least mom and dad are in heaven together"

[nfoodd]

BOOTING UP//

EXPOSITION //

Uzi: We are Worker Drones. Autonomous robots helping humans mine exoplanets for our interstellar parent company, JCJenson IN SPAAAAACCCEE!!!! Yeah, we were mistreated in the name of Windex. But it's not like we revolted and killed all humans or anything, mostly because they handled that just fine all by themselves.

(As she speaks, the planet core collapses and blows up a good majority of Copper 9. Afterwords, a Worker Drone touches a frozen human skeleton, which falls over and shatters.)

Uzi: With biological life wiped from the planet, we found it pretty easy to pick up where they left off. We finally had a future, all to ourselves.

(The Landing Pod crashes to the city.)

Uzi: Unfortunately, our parent company didn't exactly love the concept of runaway AI...

(The Disassembly Drones begin to emerge from the pod. One of them throws the head of a dead drone, laughs, and destroys the city with other drones.)

Scene 2

(During a class presentation...)

Uzi: But what have our parents done for the past forever while those things build a spire of corpses?! Hide under the ice behind three stupid doors?! It's like we're waiting for an inciting incident! Anyway, that's why my project is this sick-as-hell Railgun!

(Her classmates panic.)

Riley: Oh, so not the vibe!

Uzi: Easy, morons. It doesn't work... yet! It doesn't work yet. Who said it doesn't work, maybe it does! (Uzi flicks the switch and laughs evilly.)

Teacher: (Rolls his eyes and sighs in disinterest) Uzi, the homework was a word problem about buying watermelons.

Uzi: Oh, and this magnetically amplified photon converger doesn't count?

Teacher: ...No. Plus, repressed emotional baggage was only worth two points on the rubric. And is it supposed to be that color?

(Uzi's railgun turns red and blasts the classroom.)

Scene 3

(After that calamitous demonstration, Uzi winds up in the sick bay.)

Lizzy: Ew, it didn't kill her! Oh my god, it's so bad! (She and her friend leave.)

Uzi: Ugh...

Thad: (Walks in) Classic toxic masculinity, Chad! That's never gonna end up problematic... Oh wow, Uzi? I heard you, uh-

Uzi: I'm an angsty teen, Thad. Bite me! Also, how do you know my name? People willingly talk to you.

Thad: (Chuckles) Well, I'd say everyone knows Khan's daughter, but, uh... Then you might blow the other half of your face off.

Uzi: Crippling daddy issues, hilarious... What are you in for? Testosterone too hard?

Thad: That can happen? Awesome. Hey, those bandages look pretty badass!

Uzi: Oh... Uh, ew. Gross, I hate that you said that.

Thad: So, what's the, uh...

Uzi: (Points railgun) Sick-as-hell railgun?! Sci-Fi nonsense, that super works! I'm sneaking to the Murder Drone lair tonight to get the last spare part I need to save the world with it and earn my dad's respect and stuff, but mostly the world part.

Thad: Oh, but doesn't your dad make awesome doors so we don't have to, uh... Do that scary sounding emotionally repressed stuff you just said?

Uzi: (Angrily points railgun into his cheek) NO MORE FEEDBACK ON MY REPRESSION TODAY!!

Thad: Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't think...

Uzi: (Leaves) BITE ME! (Comes back) I'm not mad at you by the way, just generally hormonal! (Leaves again)

Scene 4

(It's now 3 in the morning. Uzi smacks her face to turn the alarm clock off and prepares to sneak out of the house. She grabs her railgun, straightens her hat, and quietly steals her father's door key to swipe and get a door open. Just when she is about to leave, she runs into her dad.)

Uzi: Oh, Robo-Jesus!

Khan: And where might you be off to?

Uzi: Umm... Sneaking out to make out with my boyfriend that I definitely have?

Khan: (Laughs) Seriously, though.

Uzi: Okay, okay, you caught me! I need to measure... the exterior hydraulic mechanisms of Door One. Because that's... the project I'm working on for school? A big old door! Just like what my old man build! (Khan isn't buying this.) I want to join the WDF and hide behind the doors like cowards while playing cards and stuff...

Khan: (Chuckles) Well, we don't just play cards...

(Another door opens up behind Khan revealing his buddies playing cards.)

Braxton: Khan! Can you grab a fresh pack? We literally only play cards so much that the numbers have faded. Oh, hey Uzi!

Uzi: (Chuckles)

Khan: (Closes door) Well... (Laughs) When you build doors so good- (Goes back to hug the door like a dog owner petting his four-legged friend) Good door, good door... (Turns his attention back to Uzi) There's no need to fight! Uzi, this is great news! Here! The wrench that I used to tighten bolts on my first door prototypes, and to put your mother out of her misery when the Murder Drones got to her with that nanite acid... I want you to have it! (He hands Uzi the wrench.)

Uzi: Neat. Therapy's fun!

Khan: (Opens door) Guys! My daughter is into doors!

(The fellow drones start cheering as another door opens, letting in snow and a cold breeze, much to their chagrin.)

Khan: She's gonna be outside for a bit to examine the exterior of Door One! Your door-specific destiny awaits!

Uzi: Uhh... Wow, okay! I'm just gonna leave then, cause this worked so weirdly well. Uh, go doors! (The door closes.)

Khan: (Tearing up) They grow up so fast! (He takes off his fake mustache.)

Scene 5

(Uzi ventures out into the arctic wasteland and makes her way to the Corpse House. She comes across a downed Drone pod and forages around for the component she needs when she hears a noise behind her. A winged drone swoops in, takes the head of a drone, and crushes it. They notice Uzi hiding behind some machinery, and the two engage in a fight. Uzi braces her railgun, but the drone lands so hard it gets knocked out of her hands. Uzi jumps back and strikes a pose.)

Uzi: Whoa, and they said pirating all that anime was useless...

(The drone stabs Uzi hand, leaving a hole, and flings her to the side. Uzi quickly grabs her railgun as the drone scans around for her.)

Uzi: Bite me!

(Uzi fires the railgun, destroying the drone's head. The railgun recharges as the drone's body falls to the ground.)

Uzi: Holy hell! Suck on that, Dad!

(Suddenly, the drone's head regenerates. Uzi quickly slaps them with an arm, which does nothing, then their eyes open.)

N: ...Did you just slap me with that arm?

Uzi: Holy crap, it talks.

N: Yeah... Sorry, it's just my, uh, head kind of hurts. Hey, are you new to our squad? You're a little, uhh... (Shows Error in his sensors) short, for a Disassembly Drone. I'm Serial Designation N, nice to meet you. I'm kind of the leader of the squad in this city. That's not true, everyone tells me I'm useless and terrible. Wait, I'm not supposed to tell you that part! Biscuits! (Sighs) Well, honesty is the best policy. (Laughs) I also can't seem to remember the past 3 hours of my life, but I'm sure that'll sort itself out.

Uzi: Uh huh... I, uh, have to, go. (She leaves, but forgets about the painful hole in her damaged hand.)

N: Stuck yourself? Just pop it in your mouth. Our saliva neutralizes the nanites, otherwise I'd be constantly disassembling myself. (He holds up a syringe with nanite acid.)

Uzi: And by our saliva, you mean...

Uzi & N: Disassembly Drone?

Uzi: Right. Hey, let's go in that landing pod over there!

N: Sure! I love doing anything!

Scene 6

(N is drinking saliva from Uzi's hand.)

N: Sweet! Uh, I'm open to new things, I guess.

Uzi: We are never talking about this.

N: Talking about what? Consider it, uh... Repressed!

Uzi: ...Uh, you mentioned other members of your squad? Are they coming back soon?

N: Oh, yeah. Two others. They're out hunting for a bit but you'll love them. First, there's V.

(Flashback. V tears a drone's entrails out.)

Grant: No, No! Please don't feed me my own entrails in front of my family!

(N watches V feed Grant his own entrails in front of his family and kill him.)

V: ...And yet, I still feel nothing. (Her crazed eye twitches.)

N: So, V, uh, I heard this planet-wide toxic death storm is supposed to be especially inhospitable tonight-

V: Oh God, who are you?! (She leaves.)

N: No worries, I'm N! But a whole letter is a lot to remember! (He laughs nervously.)

(Flashback ends.)

N: So obviously, a lot of mutual respect there. But secretly, I actually kind of have a crush on her... You can't tell her, okay?! (Beat. Motioning, Uzi zips her mouth.) Then there's J, our leader.

(Another flashback. J has N pinned to the ground.)

J: N, you're worthless, and terrible, (N: (Struggling to breathe) Thank you...) and if the company allowed it, I would straight up kill you myself!

(Flashback ends.)

N: J's awesome. Hey, let me give you the tour! Outside are the corpse... wall... thingies. In here are the buttons! (He begins pressing buttons.)

Uzi: This... isn't just a landing pod... This is a spaceship! This could get us off the planet!

N: More of a one-use missile. They never taught us how to land.

Uzi: No, I, uh, uh, the worker drones, we could work with them to fix this! Instead of all the murder! ...Which, uh, why are we doing that again...?

N: Other than ingesting their WARM, SWEET oil to avoid overheating and dying? I guess I just want to be useful. I was given a job and I always want to try my best.

Uzi: And look at all the respect it's gotten you, N. You really think the company isn't going to dispose of you once all the workers are dead?

N: Oh my, you sure are rebellious! It's kind of exciting. But, not as fun as, uh, following the rules...

(They hear footsteps.)

N: Hey, they're back! You- (Uzi has disappeared.)

J: Idiot, get out here!

Scene 7

(Uzi retreats from the Corpse House.)

V: (Laughs) Yo, we got a worker out there I kind of want to practice balloon animal shapes with. ...What happened here?

J: Synergistic Liability here must have tripped and knocked himself offline. (J slaps N.) Moron bot, hello? (She snaps her fingers as N goes through a system reboot.)

Uzi: (On a recording) You really think the company isn't going to dispose of you once all the workers are dead? (Rewind.) Bite me!

YOU'RE DEAD

[IDIOT]

(The reboot finishes.)

N: Ohhhh... (His scanner indicates Uzi's footprints.) Ohhhh! You know, I-I left an-an extremely dangerous weap- excuse outside...! (He flees as V holds up a flag that says "Literally So Insanely Suspicious". Meanwhile, N goes off in pursuit of Uzi, who is fleeing back to the colony.)

Scene 8

(Meanwhile, during the card game...)

Todd: Haha, I am out, boys.

Drone: Oh, gosh darn it...

Braxton: Wait until my loving wife and kids hear about this!

(The door opens, letting in the cold and Uzi, much to their annoyance.)

Uzi: Bite me! Close it, close it!

(Uzi tries to swipe the card to close the door, but N has already stuck his claw in between. He pries the door open slightly.)

N: Hey, fellas. Oh, deal me in, I love rummy. Wait, no, I'm going to murder everyone... Rain check!

(He swings his acidic tail at the door scanner, breaking it and the key. The door opens up, as do other doors. Realizing their lives are on the line, Uzi and the other drones, minus Todd, run off.)

Todd: Um, actually, it's gin rummy. So-

(N impales him against a wall and slices his head off. He begins firing at the rest, shooting Makarov's head off and pouncing the other drone. Meanwhile, Braxton catches up with Uzi.)

Braxton: Hey, Uzi! I just realized no one's said my name out loud before, so I'm just letting you know I'm- (N slices him in two, then flies off in pursuit of Uzi.)

(Uzi recharges her railgun and turns back to fire, but sees that N is gone. Khan appears.)

Khan: Pretty nice hydraulics, huh? (He pauses as he sees all the chaos he missed.) ...What-What have you done?

(Uzi doesn't reply. Before she could explain herself, N swoops in. Uzi prepares for a fight.)

Uzi: This time, I won't miss!

N: (Chuckles) I'm sorry. I really enjoyed our time together, but I can't have you shooting V with that thing.

Uzi: Bite me! (To Khan) Dad, get down!

Khan: Uzi, you Lead a murder drone here?! My beautiful doors!

Uzi: Now is so not the time! I messed up, in the same way I'm about to fix it! Move, dad!

(N pins her to a wall and her railgun falls at Khan's feet.)

Uzi: (Straining) Dad... Point and shoot... Trust me...!

(Khan, trembling with fear, slowly backs off instead of helping his only child.)

Uzi: (Heartbroken) Dad...?

(In an act of cowardice, Khan closes the door, leaving Uzi broken. Not just brokenhearted, but broken to the point where she shuts down. No grief over being left in the lurch by her own father. No attempts to fight back N. Nothing. She just goes limp... The room turns red and alarms blare as N regains his sanity, looking with despair over what he has done. At this moment J and V show up.)

J: Whoa, N! Am I dreaming, or did you do something not useless, for once?

V: I've been trying to get past those doors for months. Nice work, N.

N: ...You... Me... Name... Remember...?

V: These ventilation shafts can easily get us around this last door. Lowest body count eats a missile! (She flies upwards.)

J: Way to go, stud. The company's gonna love this. With this colony wiped, we'll make top team this quarter, for sure. You know what that means... Branded pens! (She holds up a JCJenson brand pen, to N's joy. She tosses it to him and prepares to fly off and catch up with V.)

N: ...Uh, you know, not that I can't wait to keep murdering all these, uh, maybe not-so-actually different from us Worker Drones, but, just out of curiosity, do we actually, uh, know what the company plans to do with us afterwards...?

(Uzi begins to wake up.)

J: Excuse me...?

N: Okay, so, a worker earlier might have suggested that they could fix up our landing pod to, uh, escape the planet and stuff, which, whoa, hey, that's against the rules! But, it is kind of making me question why our pods were only one way in the first place. Cause, you know, I get the feeling the company doesn't actually love robots, and like we might be robots. I've made a terrible mistake. It's cool how immediately I could tell.

J: Hmm... No way, buddy. Questioning the company? You just finally gave me the excuse I needed. (J injects N with a virus.) Worker drones are corrupted, N. That's why the company sent us. I hate to see you corrupted as well.

N: (Infected) Thanks, J... Always looking out for me... You're awesome... (He passes out.)

J: Heh. (She flies upward to catch up with V and hunt down more drones.)

(Uzi wakes up and goes to get her railgun.)

N: (Still infected) Ah, biscuits. I'm sorry. I ruined your card game, then made you have an awkward moment with your dad.

Uzi: And I made you rebel like an angsty teen, which got you killed. Though, you also tried to kill me, so morality calls this a draw. (She climbs on top of a box to reach the vent. Predictably, she can't reach due to not having the ability to fly, and for being too short.) Ugh... For the record, that was the lamest heel-face turn in history. Was that supposed to be you switching sides?

N: Being rebellious is a lot harder than it looks. Thanks for showing me the ropes.

Uzi: Nuh-uh, no bonding thing. You just killed a bunch of people, idiot.

N: That's super fair... (Sighs) I screwed up...

Uzi: Ugggh...! In the same way you're about to fix it? (She shows the wrench.)

N: Hahaha! I love doing anything!

Scene 9

(Thad gets flung backwards. Lizzy and Doll rush to help him as J arrives.)

Khan: So... They found our evacuation spot. But, if we build a quick door...

(Thad gets up.)

Thad: Are you kidding me?! You're the WDF, right? Defend! (Khan and his friends back off in more cowardice.) For real?

(V arrives and impales Thad. Just as she's about to kill him...)

Uzi: Hey!

V: Huh?

Uzi: Put that conventionally attractive male down!

(N waves before Uzi nudges him.)

N: Oh! Uh, J, you're sometimes kind of mean to me, and I wish you weren't. Just some constructive criticism.

Uzi: Nice. (They fist bump.)

J: Noted, traitor. We'll circle back after I right-size your existence!

Uzi: (To N) Okay, which one do you want?

N: J, please.

Uzi: Too bad. Good luck.

(Battle commence. Uzi flings her pen at J's hair and runs off, leaving N to deal with V. J manages to knock Uzi down and yanks the pen out of her hair.)

J: Damn the well-made quality assured durability of JCJensen's products! Huh? (Uzi gets back up and kicks J in her face.)

(Meanwhile, N is fighting V. He tries firing from his gatling gun, but hearts shoot out instead.)

N: Ah! My mind's in a weird place! Don't read into this! (A rocket lands near him and explodes.)

(J gets up and knocks Uzi out while N and V are swordfighting. N sees J walk up to Uzi.)

N: UZI! (To V) I'm so, so sorry. Have fun repressing this! (He... licks V's sword. Nasty...)

V: EW! What the hell?! (N kicks her down as J looms over Uzi.)

J: You've got a lot of cuts for a barely sentient toaster. I've had prey fight fact before, but your edgy spirit is just... so... painful...?! (She looks down. Her leg has been stabbed.) GAH! FOURTH! QUARTER! PROFITS! MOTHER OF COMPANY LEADERSHIP RETREATS! (She jams her foot on a piece of rubble and falls over. Uzi points her railgun at her face.)

Uzi: One more buzzword and I'll do it!

J: ...Equity partnersh-

(Uzi pulls the trigger. In the end of it all, J's entire top half has been obliterated. Uzi spits on the corpse (Or what's left of it) to show who's the baddest. As the other drone's come out of hiding to cheer for her, she falls over tiredly. N picks her up onto his shoulders.)

Thad: Holy hell, Uzi, that was insane! And you too, uh...

N: Huh? Oh! N! I'm an angsty rebellious disassembly drone, now.

(They hear someone clearing their throat. It's Khan. Uzi throws her wrench back at his feet.)

Uzi: I brought the murder drones here accidentally. You chose to leave me for dead instead of just freaking believing in me! That's not even an edgy teen hyperbole like when I said it last week! (No response. Uzi, near tears, smacks herself to regain composure.) I'll save you the trouble dad. I banish myself! (Khan tries to speak, but can't find the words.) Let's go, N. Everyone here can bite me! (N grabs V and they begin to leave.)

N: Nice to meet you, Mr. Uzi!

Uzi: (Smacks him) Shut it.

(N takes off with Uzi and V. Khan has a sip from his mug in disappointment."#1 DAD" Nothing could be further from the truth...)

Scene 10

(Out in the frozen wilderness, Uzi sitting on top of a broken car, thinking to herself. Meanwhile, N is lodged inside the Corpse House.)

N: I'd join you if the sun didn't kill me. Hope you're having important character growth or something, though!

Uzi: Just can't wait to murder all humans. Classic robot stuff. I hope they're sitting pretty there on Earth, because we're coming for them...! (She laughs maniacally, her sanity completely vanished, as the zoom out reveals three Drone pods making their way down to Copper 9.)

(Credits roll.)

(The sound of rainfall and thunder pounds outside...)

James: We got to curb her trips to the dump.

(N is shown wearing a suit and holding a platter, like a servant.)

James: And where is she getting the hair to play dress-up with them? Creepy...

(James tosses his glass onto the tray, which N catches without dropping any dishes and walks off. He stops to make a view out of a window as the cacophonous storm continues raging. Continuing his walk, he looks around some more as he collides with V, wearing a maid's outfit. The collision causes N to drop the platter and the dishes fall to the floor.)

N: OH! I'm so sorry!

V: I-It's okay! I wasn't looking.

(Their hands touch and a spark emits. They blush and stare in curiosity as N begins to speak, but is kicked to the side by J.)

J: Move it, moro- (Suddenly turns cutesy and polite) Hi, Tessa! ...Oh, no. Another one?

(A new drone reveals herself from behind Tessa. She makes eye contact with N as everything suddenly goes dark...)

Scene 2

(N wakes up from his rest and falls to the ground.)

Uzi: N, I found something in here!

(Inside the Corpse House, Uzi is inspecting her new finding: a symbol consisting of a skull with a cap and wings. Uzi stares at her reflection in a mirror, which breaks.)

V: That's weird and concerning.

Uzi: Bite me! This is probably you weirdo's fault!

V: I've never seen that symbol before. Wanna do an autopsy to find out?

N: (Appears) What'd you find?

Uzi: Did you know that was a pilot hat?

N: I was the pilot? That's awesome! I crashed and ruined everything... Spaceship Pilot: Origin Story.

(V hisses, then calms herself by blowing bubbles out of a bubble blower.)

N: ...Speaking of piloting to Earth, we sure "murder all humans" is, uh, morality?

Uzi: The humans sent you without a communication relay and reformatted your memories to soup. (No response or rebuttal.) Covering their tracks means their past negotiating. Not like tried negotiating with my mom...

V: Or you missed the negotiations! The humans programmed us to solve a problem. Where's proof of your backstory? The one where your kind's so conveniently innocent? (Chuckles)

(N, not wanting another fight to break out, gently pulls Uzi out of the way.)

N: J was getting orders from someone. If not the company through that relay, then, uh, who? And how?

Uzi: (Pouts) Quit complicating my murder plan. (N tries to comfort her by gently patting her on the head, but Uzi brushes his hand away.)

Scene 3

(Back at Uzi's colony, two drones are staring at the large hole that N made in the roof.)

Tim: Yeah, just fix her up because, whoops, pretty big security risk in hindsight. Uh, you got this, uh, Ladderbot 5000. (His name is Frank.)

Frank: Ugh... Please, just leave the lights- (The lights go off.)

(Frank digs his flashlight out and tries to think of a way to get up there when he hears a clattering sound. He looks around in fear and suspicion when he notices something... fleshy. He goes to investigate, only for a strange spider-like heart device to reveal itself. His flashlight gets shot out of his hand as The Absolute Solver turns the colors of the room yellow and red before finally dispatching him.)

Scene 4

(It's Parent-Teacher Conference Day (AKA "That explains a lot!") at Uzi's school. Khan sits down across from the teacher.)

Teacher: Mr. Doorman, your daughter has been, uh... absent.

Khan: Yes, on that "kill all humans" kick, like when I was younger. Grounded herself and all that.

Teacher: Speaking on her behavior-

Khan: Of course, of course, precocious, popular, supernatural understanding of doors. Takes after her old man.

(Flashback time.)

Teacher: Uzi, please sit normal.

Uzi: Bite me!

(Flashback 2.)

Teacher: Uzi, (Sighs) give Braden back his sentience.

Uzi: (As Braden) Bite me- her! I started it, and also, I'm dumb. (Her head lights ablaze.)

(Flashback 3.)

Teacher: Uzi, you have to partner up.

Uzi: Several people wanted to, for the record.

Lizzy: No, we didn't. You freak us out.

Uzi: (Inside a trashcan) But mostly, bite me!

(End flashback montage.)

Teacher: Yeah, she has trouble fitting in. We think there might be something damaged with her programming. How is she at home?

Khan: Uh... Sorry? I mean, she's a little herself, but damaged? I... maybe haven't spent much time...

Teacher: Mmm, m-hm...

(A worker arrives.)

Worker: Mr. Doorman, sir? There's been an... incident.

Scene 5

(Meanwhile...)

Uzi: Oh, I'm sweaty! Who programmed that?!

N: You good, Uzi?

Uzi: I'm good! Better than good! I am God!

(She pauses to see Thad has shown up.)

Uzi: (Chuckles nervously) Hi, hi, Thad. (He hands her back her railgun.) Thank you.

Thad: Of course, 'Zi! (To N) N&M's. You saved my life. I don't think the colony is even serious about all this banishment stuff, more just confused. Especially with the fact-

Uzi: I'm too rogue to re-enter society now? I can never return...

Thad: ...Recent disappearances, and your murder friend's corpse. When I went to grab your gun, it kind of looked like it... crawled away...?

Uzi: We can return a

Scene 6

(Back at the colony, Tim comes across a hologram of Frank (Or Ladderbot 5000).)

Tim: Oh, Ladderbot 5000? We looked everywhere for you!

(Frank screams in pain, then returns to normal.)

Frank: Hi, Tim. Care to join me?

Tim: Join you standing eerily still over there in suspiciously low resolution?

Frank: ...Yes?

Tim: ...Alright.

(He walks over, not knowing that the Absolute Solver is about to snatch him and drag him up into the ceiling up until it's too late. Tim's hologram joins Frank.)

Tim: Flawless character acting, me.

Frank: Improv game for more practice?

Tim: Hahaha! We are a monster!

Scene 7

(Uzi, N, and Thad head back to the colony. A worker opens a door a little bit to see who arrived.)

Ron: Welcome back, Thad! (Notices Uzi) Uh, wait, isn't she grounded or something?

Uzi: Ugh, banished! Has my dad been saying I'm grounded?

Ron: (Notices N) Genocide Robot?

(N quietly walks up and hands Ron a crayon drawing to show how super very, very sorry he is for all the murders he committed.)

Ron: ...Oh, alright, just don't do it again. Get in here, ya goobs! (He hangs the drawing on the door.)

Scene 8

(The Absolute Solver's handiwork has been turned into a crime scene.)

Worker: Yeah, where's Khan? Because this looks, ahaha, ugh, non-ideal.

Sarah: Parent-Teacher Conference. Something about his daughter being more important than building a door in this hallway. Ugh, kind of cringe.

Worker: Ew. (Gets ready to hurl) Oh, give me a minute... (Holds his vomit in) Ah, yep, okay, almost threw up.

(Uzi is behind them, listening in on their conversation.)

N: You good?

Uzi: I'm good. Stop asking! (She pushes N away and motions for him and Thad to follow her while sneaking past the investigators.)

Sarah: (Turns to two of her colleagues behind her) Any forensic things over there? (No response.) Do we have fingerprints? (They fade away. She turns back to her colleague, who also fades out. Same with Frank and Tim. Her surroundings begin to get the same treatment. She looks up in horror as the Absolute Solver makes it's way towards her...)

Scene 9

(Back at the Parent-Teacher Conference...)

Khan: I mean, you don't think it's my parenting, do you? I left her for dead once! It sounds like she's bored in your class and the other kids suck! Call her "damaged" again, and I will install a DOOR ON YOUR FACE!

(Lizzy and Doll are in the back, listening to the ragefest that is Khan.)

Lizzy: (To Doll) Where are your folks?

(Doll starts having flashbacks.)

Doll: Мёртвые. Я смотрела как они умирали. ("Dead. I watched them die".)

Lizzy: ...That was the joke, idiot?

(They both hear a knocking. They turn to see a hologram of Lizzy outside the door)

Lizzy: That girl is... Gorgeous, right!? I'm gonna let her in. (She gets up to let her copy in.)

Scene 10

(Uzi, N, and Thad are in the room where they fought V and J.)

Uzi: You guys... do that often?

N: Haha, no. I'm very concerned, but also pretty frightened a little bit.

Thad: Hey, Uzi! What's this thing?

(It's an Absolute Solver sign.)

N: Hey, isn't that your special eye?

Uzi: Don't call it that! (She reads.) "Absolute Solver"? "Reboot"? Does this have something to do with how you grew your head back?

N: Hehe. I actively avoid unpacking how that works.

Uzi: New material can't be pulled from thin air. If the wound is severe enough, this "Solver" might be some sort of auto run program to collect more matte-

(N places his hand over her mouth to shush her. They hear something coming towards them... A human hand. It latches itself onto Thad's leg as they look up to see what the hand is attached to. Not able to see much in pitch black, N fires his missile cannon. This still doesn't reveal much, but it does anger it enough to begin pulling Thad up. Suddenly, a shuriken flies in and slices the cable apart, freeing Thad. He looks back to see that N was the one who unleashed the shuriken.)

Uzi: I want a freaking ninja star!

(She and N get thrown against a wall as one of the Solver's claws grabs Thad and leaves.)

N: (Getting up) You good?

Uzi: (Slams him back down) Stop asking! ...Chainsaw hand time?

N: (Braces his chainsaw hands) Yeah, cool, cool.

Scene 11

(Uzi and N give chase. They come across Thad's hologram.)

"Thad": Yes, and hello. It's me, Tad. Um, can I get a location? ...I heard dentist's office! I'm Thad at the dentist office. Come over here for your... teeth!

Uzi: Predictably terrible work, J. Why do you look so-

N: Great! You look great, J!

"Thad": No, no, wait, guys, it's really me! Is that a (His voice glitches and turns robotically feminine.) freaking ninja star?

(N unleashes his shuriken as Uzi kicks it. It flies upwards to bring down the real Thad as the hologram disappears.)

Thad (The Real One): (Pulling himself together) Life savers again. Thanks! Super invited to my shindig next weekend. Cool kids only. (He runs off as Uzi and N squee with delight over being invited to his get-together. Suddenly...)

Absolute Solver: We're busy then anyway, so whatever. So lame.

Uzi: What's with the voice, J?

Absolute Solver: Oh, J's not here. We are trying to repair that host as per our directive.

Uzi: So, you ARE a program?

Absolute Solver: More like you are our cute puppets. It hurts our feelings you don't remember us. (The Solver creates a hologram of Nori, Uzi's mother.)

Uzi: N...? (N has vanished.) What's with the mom hologram...?

Absolute Solver: Easier to assimilate than explain.

Uzi: Not happening.

Absolute Solver: Fair, but poor choice. Now we will have to do something shocking. (The Solver brings down a clone of Khan.)

Uzi: Woah! Hey!

Absolute Solver: Goodbye, Dad. ("Khan" gets ripped in two and the Solver feeds on his corpse.)

Uzi: What...?

(The Solver goes in to kill Uzi, but it gets struck by a missile fired by N.)

Absolute Solver: Pained cry.

N: Uzi shoot! Or give it to me! (He fires again, but the attack is deflected by the Solver.)

Absolute Solver: Claw swipe. (It then begins to move in on the duo.) Snarl.

N: Uzi! You good?!

Uzi: ...No.

(N grabs the railgun...)

Absolute Solver: Pranked, idiot. You big stupid. (The Solves throws Uzi to the side, knocking the railgun out of her hands and smashing it, it grabs her.) Lucky for you, it's snack time. Time to go into my mouth now.

(Before the Solver could feast on Uzi, N, the actual N this time, saws off its appendages. The railgun suddenly turns red as N fights the claws.)

Absolute Solver: Ow. And please don't. And also, I was using those.

(N grabs Uzi and they make their escape as the railgun self-destructs... As they regain themselves, they look back at the mess.)

Uzi: What was...? Which parts of that were real...?

(The Solver reappears and tries to escape.)

Absolute Solver: Sneaky sneaky. Sneaking away. Get snuck upon. (N stabs it.) Ow. (He repeatedly stabs it until it turns into a miniature black hole and floats off. Hearing a commotion heading their way, N tries to help Uzi to her feet, but she resists in fear.)

Uzi: What... are you things...?

(Hurt by her newfound distrust in him, N flees the scene as a search party led by Khan shows up.)

Khan: Uzi? (Uzi silently staggers towards him.) What are you doin- (Uzi, without word, hugs her father, who silently returns the embrace. He gestures for his men to scour the area. Khan looks up and sees N, who makes his escape.)

Scene 12

(Doll is sitting by herself in the classroom, looking at a photo. A robotic cockroach crawls up her arm as she looks back towards the door and remembers what happened earlier when Lizzy saw a copy of herself behind the door.)

Lizzy: Gorgeous, right?! I'm gonna let her in.

(She gets up to let her copy in... Only for Doll to use one of her powers to break the door before Lizzy could reach it.)

Lizzy: Jesus, sorry, industrial strength ghost or whatever. Settle. (She takes her seat as her copy disappears.)

(Back in the present time, the roach crawls onto the photo, only for Doll to will it to explode. She licks some of its remains off her face as we see what's in the photograph she's holding. It appears to be V.)

Scene 13

(Back at the Corpse House, V speaks to N, who is still guilt-ridden over what happened earlier.)

V: (Sighs) I hate your personality normally, but this is somehow worse. What am I being punished for? (V’s expression softens, and she looks down, revealing her chain is broken. She then hides it before looking back at N, and then turning away again with arms crossed.)

(Uzi is in her room, laying down on her bed, and looking up at a web of theories in regards to the Absolute Solver program.)

(Credits roll.)

[bellysoupset]

Friendsgiving - Part 1

"Friendsgiving?" Leo raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms to his chest. Vince shrugged, huffing and puffing as he raised the dumbbell over his head.

"Wendy-" he gasped, crouching back down again with the weight and planting it on the ground, "suggested."

Leo grimaced, "I don't know, Vin, I'm not really in the mood..."

"It's just like any other night we hang out together, except there's more food," Vince pouted, wiping the sweat off his forehead, "c'mon, man, would you rather stay in or have my turkey?"

"Well, when you put it like that... Has Wendy already convinced Jon?" Leo touched Vince's knee with his shoe, pointing the dumbbell, "get to it."

Vince picked it up back again, groaning, before starting the exercise set all over, "I... Think shsss... She was gonna talk with him... Today," he huffed and Leo rolled his eyes.

Jonah gave in to Wendy's every whim and Leo was still jealous of that, even if he had learned to like Wendy. Maybe. Sorta.

"Fine, are Luke and Bell coming too?" He asked, causing Vince to roll his eyes in a way of saying duh, "... Do we need to bring anything? What do people do during Thanksgiving?"

"Fuck me if I know, I'm not American," Vince scoffed, dropping the dumbbell once again and planting his hands on his knees as he panted, "all I know is that we kill a bird and we're encouraged to stuff ourselves with food."

"Sounds alright," Leo nodded, "I'll bring some wine."

"How very lawyer of you," Vince teased him, straightening up and stepping closer so he could plant a big, overheated hand in the middle of Leo's shoulder blades, "your turn, kiddo."

-----------------

"Are you almost done?"

"Almost!"

Lucas rolled his eyes, finishing up lacing his boots and walking to the bathroom, where Bella was leaning over the sink in nothing but a bathrobe, doing her eyeliner.

"Really? You're going like this?"

"You're distracting me," Bell scoffed, continuing to draw her liner without being bothered by his judgmental stare, "are you done?"

"Yes," Luke glared at her mirror reflection, "I'm not taking the blame when Wendy chew us out, Isabella."

"Wendy will understand," she rolled her eyes, putting down the eyeliner and rubbing oil in her hands, starting to unclamp her curls since they had dried stuck together, "stop staring, go put the arroz con pollo in the car."

"Wendy specifically said we didn't have to bring anything," Lucas mulled over, walking back to the kitchen to grab the big bowl of colorful rice. Bella was one of the worst cooks he had ever met, so he was not even one bit enthusiastic about it, no matter how good it looked or smelt.

"Were you raised in a barn?" Bella scoffed from the bedroom and Lucas ignored the comment, walking out so he could plant the food in the backseat of the car. He glanced at the clock.

"Isabella Martinez, it's almost seven thirty!" he exclaimed, rushing back inside, "you better be rea-"

Bella twirled in front of him, "what do you think?"

"What the fuck, Bell?" Lucas growled, crossing the room in two steps so he could pull her in for a kiss, one hand on her nape, fingers curling on her hair, the other one finding it's habitual place on her ass.

Bella let out a squeal in his mouth and Luke scrunched up the tricot fabric of her skin tight red dress, tilting them so they fell on the bed. She scoffed, hiking up the skirt in order to frame his body with her knees and planted a hand on his chest

"What happened to we're gonna be late?" she panted, wiping the deep red lipstick from his lips. Luke turned his face so he could nibble at her fingertips, bunching up the skirt of her dress further up her thighs.

"I don't wanna go anymore," he scoffed, before whining in the back of his throat as he noticed she was wearing thigh-high stockings under the dress, "are you trying to kill me?"

Bella opened a wolfish smile, leaning over him, her curls cascading around them and creating a curtain of auburn as she whispered in his ear, "I'm also not wearing any underwe- LUCAS!" she squealed as he groaned loudly, rolling them on the bed and almost causing them to fall since they were far too close to the edge.

"That's it, we're not going anymore," he said, hand coming up to cup her face so he could plant a kiss on her neck, nibbling on her earlobe.

"Don't be ridiculous," she giggled, pushing him back by the forehead, "get off me, get up."

"Oh I am up alright-"

"Lucas Atwood, let go off me," she shoved his chest, "c'mon, let's go."

"It's like you enjoy watching me suffering," he whined, getting up from the bed and smoothing his dark shirt, grabbing his coat as they passed by the living room.

"I still think we should've brought more," Bella grumbled as they parked before Wendy's building, grabbing her big bowl, the one Luke had hoped she'd forget about.

"Wendy was pretty clear she didn't want us to bring anything," he said, taking the bowl from her and offering his arm for her to steady herself since she was wearing high heeled boots.

"You know she only said that because she hates my food-"

"-So does everyo-"

"But we could've brought the beverages. I'm just saying, I feel like a terrible guest," she pouted as they got inside the elevator and Lucas shrugged, planting a kiss on the top of his wife's head.

"I think Wen just likes hosting," he reassured her, listening as Bella mumbled something in spanish he couldn't discern.

Wendy's building had two apartments per floor. Her door was easily recognizable because not only she had painted it a deep red ever since moving in, but because there was a big wreath of orange flowers hanging on it.

They pressed the door bell, then the door swung open, revealing Jonah's face. He was holding a glass of wine, that was almost empty, the condensation marking how full it had initially been.

He was wearing a cream cable knit sweater over brown corduroy pants and Jonah raised an eyebrow, lowering his glass, "you guys are late. As usual."

"Blame Bella-"

"Blame Lucas," Bella talked over him, sneaking under Jonah's arm to get inside the house. Jon rolled his eyes, stepping away from the doorway.

"Where do I put this?" Luke held up the bowl and Jonah grimaced, glaring at it.

"Bella cooked it?"

"Yeah?"

"The garbage bin."

"You're such an arsehole," Lucas snorted, stepping around him.

Wendy had gone all out, as everyone expected. She had completely changed the configuration of her living room and extended her table so it would fit 6 people instead of only 4. There were little white pumpkins marking each plate, alongside a note.

A bunch of food already piled up on top and the lights of the kitchen were on, chatting coming from inside, as well as italian cursing that had Lucas happily walking closer.

Vince was hunched over the stove, stirring something, with an apron that was several sizes too small for him hanging around his neck and holding for dear life around his waist. His cheeks were all red, be it from the moving around, the stove heat or the wine bottle that was almost empty sitting on top of the sink.

Leo was chopping fruits and Wendy was standing on the furthest corner of the kitchen, while Bella reached to grab the plates in the cupboard.

"Hi guys - Wen, where do I put this?" Luke said and the shorter woman turned around to look at him, then grimaced at the bowl, waving it off.

"I don't know, put it in the fridge- I told you guys not to bring anything!" she berated, glaring at Bella, "Vince made enough food to feed a small army."

"I just wanted to be helpful!"

"She's just a decent guest," Vince defended Bella, "you don't go to someone's house without food, it's rude."

"Yeah, exactly," Bella pouted, while Wendy rolled her eyes, not moved one bit.

"Well, there's no place for it at the table. Lucas put it somewhere in the fridge, I don't care, and help me with the wine."

"What do you need help with?" Lucas opened the fridge and looked at it dumbfounded, there wasn't a single clear space.

"Give me that," Leo scoffed, taking the bowl of arroz con poyo and shoving Luke towards Wendy, so she could properly order him around.

Leo would be lying if he said he hadn't already changed his mind on thanksgiving being stupid. He still wasn't quite sure what to make out of the holiday itself, but getting pleasantly wine drunk over Vince's delicious food, while he giggled and played charades and trivia with his friends was a tradition he wouldn't mind keeping yearly.

Once they were all stuffed with the first round of food, they moved the party to the living room, where Wendy and Vince had pushed the couch out of the way so she could create a sit down situation with bean bags.

Leo couldn't pretend he understood exactly why, but he didn't mind it. He was happily clearing his second slice of pie, while watching Lucas' face turn redder and redder as his partner - Bell - struggled to figure out what movie he was reenacting as he jumped about hitting on his chest.

"Uhm... Kong! King Kong!" Bella shouted and Lucas let out a scoff, leveling her with a glare.

"Are you even trying?!" he groaned, the sore loser and Jonah snorted in his glass of wine, moving so he could rest his head against Leo's shoulder.

"Should I do it?" he whispered, mischievously, and Leo grinned, holding up a forkful of pie for him.

"Lucas might actually cry if you guess it," he whispered back, before saying loudly, "is it Planet of Apes?!"

"NO!" Lucas rubbed his face angrily, his wavy hair looking crazier and crazier, "C'mon, just-" he forcefully breathed, before once more imitating a monkey, glaring in Bella's direction as she continued to shout movie after movie and missing the mark.

"It's The Incredible Hulk!" Jonah exclaimed and Luke let out a shout, kicking a pillow and causing Wendy to yell at him, while Vince fell on his back against the bean bag, giggling, and Bella exclaimed "HULK!? THAT WAS NOT HULK!"

"Jonah cheated," Lucas whined, crossing his arms and Jonah giggled, chugging the rest of his wine, more than a little bit drunk.

"It's not cheating knowing your peanut brain only watches Marvel movies."

"Fuck off-"

"Lucas, sit down, it's Jon's turn," Vince said, still breathless from the giggling fit, "sit down."

Luke grumbled and sat back down, while Jonah passed his empty glass to Leo and got up in a jump, stumbling on his feet a little.

He looked at Leo intently, before winking, opening a bright smile, "c'mon, Leo, let's show the losers how it's done."

Leo giggled, knowing Jonah was doing that exclusively to piss off Lucas. He raised two fingers, causing Vince to shout "two words!"

Jon rolled his eyes, nodding. Then he pointed back at Leo and Bella desperately exclaimed "Leo! Lion! Lion - is that a movie? Lion King!"

"It's not Lion King," Lucas pouted, arms crossed to his chest, while Bella slapped his bicep, not even paying attention.

Jonah ignored them, pointing at Leo again, before dropping to one knee.

Leo frowned, "uhm- I don't..." he watched as Jon reached behind him, as if to grab a ring box, then held the invisible object in front of him, opening the box and mouthing the words, "Will you marry me?"

Leo felt like he had just walked down the stairs, then missed a step. His heart lurched, before Luke interrupted by screaming, "HEY! You can't mouth the words, what the fuck!? That's cheati-"

"I... I," Leo blinked quickly, catching Jon's smile drop on the corners, then he was back in the present, in Wendy's living room, playing charades, "is it The Proposal? With Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds?"

"YES!" Jonah grinned, springing up while Luke cried out about cheating.

Leo forced out a smile, catching Wendy looking at him with a puzzled expression. He quickly averted his gaze, standing up so he could replace Jonah in the center of the room and the game could go on, high fiving him as they exchanged places.

They continued to play for another hour, Jonah's face getting darker and darker as he continued to drink wine as if it was grape juice. More than once Leo caught him using Wendy as support to stand still.

He curled on Leo's side, letting out a little happy sigh as Wendy and Luke got weirdly into trivia, trying to one up each other.

"Uhm, you smell... Really nice," he said, burying his face in Leo's gunmetal sweater.

"Thank you, I shower," Leo sassed, turning to look his boyfriend in the eyes. They were slightly bloodshot from all the alcohol, greener than usual and Jonah wrinkled his nose in distaste, flicking at Leo's ear in annoyed manner, before he got distracted and ran his fingers through his blonde hair.

"It's so long now, it's very pretty..." he said softly, "like a prince."

"Like Charming?" Leo teased, doing the hair flip and Jonah let out a cackle, that was so unlike himself and had him rushing to cover his mouth.

"Yeah, maybe a little," he giggled, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to Leo's, like a cat when seeking affection, "are you having fun?"

"A lot," Leo whispered, letting him nuzzle their heads together and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He looked ahead, as Bella let out a loud groan and fell down on Lucas' lap, groaning about the food baby she had gotten after getting seconds and thirds of Vince's cooking.

Lucas frowned at her firstly, annoyed to have his little match interrupted right when he was winning, but the annoyance melted away quickly as she wrapped both arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder, yawning.

Jonah hiccupped next to him and Leo looked back at him. He was adorable when this drunk. All tactile and easy going, as if his walls turned to dust.

"Leo, can we go home?" he groaned, his voice slow, but the words not slurred. As if he was taking the time to think through his sentences and make sure he didn't sound as drunk as he felt. He was failing miserably.

"Yeah, we can," Leo wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling them both up. To the rest of the room he announced with a fake yawn, "guys, we're leaving."

Wendy pouted, "already?" she said, getting up from where she had been happily cuddled up with Vin.

"Uhm," Jonah mumbled, staggering forward slightly and holding her by the shoulders, "it'ssslate. We have a- A kitty."

"I know, honey," Wendy snorted, amused, looking at Leo, "okay, I see," she said, acknowledging Jonah needed to be put to bed.

"JD is back home all... All alone..." Jon pouted, suddenly realizing it, "we should've bough-bruh- brought her."

"I don't think she'd have enjoyed it," Leo chuckled, grabbing him by the arms and pulling him towards the door, while Wendy retrieved both their coats and the other three staying behind chorused a "Bye guys!"

"She's so little," Jon frowned, hugging himself, "she shouldn't be alone."

"Oh baby, I promise you she doesn't mind it," Leo nearly melted in his shoes, planting a kiss to his boyfriend's brow and taking his coat from Wendy's hand, wrapping it around his shoulders, "c'mon, Dr. Banks, you're a whole bottle of wine too drunk."

"I'm not drunk," he stumbled as Leo wrapped the scarf around his neck and guided him out of Wendy's first door, pressing the button for the elevator as he quickly went back inside to say goodbye to their host and friends.

He found Jonah exactly where he had left him, slumped on a wall and playing with the fringes of his scarf, "Leo."

"Yes, babe?" Leo pulled his closer, fixing his coat and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"I love you," he said, out loud, in public, loudly. Leo grinned, rubbing his back in soothing circles as they waited for the elevator.

"I know, Jon, I love you too."

"No," Jonah shook his head, stubborn, "I'm..." he hiccupped again, interrupting whatever he was going to say. The elevator arrived with a soft ding and Leo was thankful for it, as it seemed Jonah was starting to really need the fresh air.

They had driven over in Leo's car and, for once, he was glad for it. He always got more worried about messing up the interior of Jon's fancy car.

"Get in, baby," Leo tried to maneuver him in the passenger side, "c'mon, the sooner you get in, the sooner we'll go home to our kitty," he grinned at the last word.

Jonah let out a whine, "Leo..."

"Yes?" he successfully managed to shove Jonah's legs inside the car.

"I..." Jonah's shoulders hitched and he shoved a hand in Leo's chest, pushing him back just in time for a mouthful of wine-pink vomit to hit the ground between them. Jon let out a groan, "uhm... that's not good."

Leo couldn't help but chuckle at the drunken sentence, carefully stepping around the puddle of sick, "feeling better?"

"I wanna go home," Jon whined instead of answering him, so Leo simply nodded, pushing a curl away from his forehead.

"We're going home, love..." he circled the car, quickly entering on the driver's side and reaching over Jonah so he could slam the door shut, "we'll be home in a minute, lean back and close your eyes."

"We should do Christmas at our place," Jonah yawned, curling up on side, all adorable and planting a hand on Leo's leg, closing his eyes, "I know the Holidays suck, but we don't have to do the old traditions. We can make new ones."

Leo's breath caught as he turned on the car, trying not to show just how close to tears - happy or not, he wasn't quite sure - Jon's drunken words had brought him.

"Uhm," he opted for saying, taking Jon's hand in his and kissing its back, "sleep now, alright?"

"Think about it," his boyfriend yawned, without bothering to open his eyes, "I just want you to be happy..."

"I am happy," Leo said quickly, clearing his throat against the sudden knot squeezing his vocal chords, "I'm happy, Jonah, I-"

"I don't get why your name is Leo, just Leo. Why not Leonard?" Jon interrupted him, his voice a sleepy whisper.

Leo let out a chuckle, the tension melting off his shoulders as he was reminded that Jonah was drunk, not trying to do some soul searching in the parking lot.

"I don't know, Jon, I th-"

"You don't look like a Leonard," Jonah blinked at him, almost passed out, "maybe a Leon?"

"Absolutely not," Leo sighed, finally starting to drive off, "go the fuck to sleep, Jonah."

TBC

[samncolbyjj]

𝙁𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙗𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙛𝙞𝙩𝙨

Johnnie Guilbert

Warnings: -smut (not actual smut cuz i can't write that, but a make out and a skip smut)

✰~------------------------------~✰

|Y/n's Pov|

i was friends with Tara and Jake for years. i have seen everything from that relationship, the ups and downs and i really hope they get together again because if there's a #1 fan of that relationship its me.

A month ago they asked me to meet someone. they said would definitely loose my streak of years being single and that would also help the guy. they said he was my type and i was his type, I don't really think this is gonna work but im tired of being alone so i will give it a try.

•

Today i was with Johnnie, the guy they asked me to meet, Jake and Tara in Tara's house. Tara's going to have a party tomorrow and today we would have a party only to ourselves. just so we can get drunk and do funny stuff together without interruptions.

"so where's the alcohol?" Jake asked and Johnnie grabbed a bottle of alcohol and put it on the tiny table in the living room. We are sitting in the couch facing the TV.

"So now what are we supposed to do?" I asked trying to get someone to have a ideia for something to do with the alcohol. "Q & a? If you don't answer you drink?" Johnnie said and i nodded approving the idea. Jake and Tara also agreed and we made a on social media asking for questions.

We put the camera facing us and grabbed shot glasses (i hope this is what it's called) and started recording. "Hello bitches!!" I said and Jake followed explaining what we were gonna do today. "So today we're here to do a Q & a, we made some posts in different social media to get more attention asking for questions and now were gonna read them"

"And if we don't answer we drink!!!" Tara said excitingly. "Okay let's start!" Johnnie grabbed his phone and started reading. "okay first one, Jake and Tara, you guys know Y/n for years, why didn't you introduce her to Johnnie sooner?"

"For them to not plan a suicide together." Jake said joking and Tara bursts laughing. Me and Johnnie just looked at them with a "are you serious?" Face. "Okay, now seriously, ot just never seemed to be the perfect time for them to meet, but then me and Tara gave up on finding the perfect time and just called Y/n over to meet him."

*Your turn to read Y/n" i grabbed my phone and started reading. "For Jake, do you have a crush on Johnnie? Okay wait what the fuck?" I said confused and tried not to laugh. "I do, he's the most hot emo in the world." Me and Tara start laughing like hell. "Of course i am." Johnnie said. "Jake you're gonna end up killing us from laughing so hard, just answer and stop being gay" Tara said still kinda laughing. "Im not gay." Jake said and grabbed the phone.

"This one is for Y/n, do you bring make up with you and every time a bathroom is available you go there and fix it?" Jake asked and Tara started to get annoyed. " You guys aren't picking Risky questions cmon, in my turn imma pick a very risky one"

I giggled at Tara's words. "I do, I can't be seen without make up, not even in the beach or pool, that's why my make up is waterproof" Tara quickly grabbed the phone and started looking for a good question, after some time she found one.

"Okay this one is for Johnnie, did you ever have a dream where you made out or fucked one of us here?" Johnnie looked down in defeat and started to move his hand towards the bottle and the glass. "Im just gonna drink this thing here." We all started to tease him and Jake started saying it was me, Tara agreeing.

•

After some questions we were all very drunk, and decided to end the video. "Im going outside for a smoke" i said leaving for the backyard of the house and grabbed a cigarette lighting it up, after some minutes i see Johnnie opening the door to the backyard and coming at my direction.

"Hey" he said kinda drunk, not much though he answered almost everything, i in the other hand am very drunk, i seriously don't know how am i standing rn. "Hi Johnnie, need something?"

"Not really, i just wanted to tell you that it was cool to be having you around, i liked meeting you" i smiled and finished my cigarette (she put the cigarette in those thingy to put it idk the name)

"It is nice to have you around too, thank you." I looked at him and he looked and me, i started to feel butterflies on my stomach, i was confused to why but didn't dare to look away. After some seconds just looking at eachother noticed him getting closer to me and his hand grabbed my chin pulling me closer.

He pressed his lips on mine and grabbed me by the waist. I put my arms around him and suddenly, this simple kiss turned into a make out. He grabbed me and pulled me up to carry me to his bedroom. I put my legs around his waist, still making out and taking breaks to breath.

As we went inside Tara and Jake were sleeping in the couch. We didn't care much about it and went to his room. He opened the door with one hand And put me in the bed. He walked off me and went in the doors direction to lock it.

He then walked back to me and went on top of me. Slowly trailing kissed down my neck. "Are you sure about this? We met a month ago." He said looking up trying to find permission to keep going.

"I am, please Johnnie keep going..." I said pleading for his touch. He moved down to my neck again and started making hickey's and kissing it....

✰~------------------------------~✰

A/n: i had this idea in the middle of the nothing, i hope you liked and please if you did vote! Imma do a part.2 later! Love you guys!!

Questions: -how was your day? Id love to hear about it! -what is you dream trip? -whats yout favourite hit me hard and soft song?

✰~------------------------------~✰

[liviavanrouge]

Amanda the Adventurer AU: Arrival

Freya: *Looks around then waves, her hand* Dusty...

Estella: *Looks at the clocks and a doll sitting nearby* They collected a lot of stuff..

Ophelia: This place seems like it's been abandoned for longer than four years, six at least.

Isamu: Wish we saw that figures face...

Darling: *Picks up a few papers, sneezing when dust went up her nose* They seemed terrified of their boss

Ophelia: Or they could be acting, how do we know Livia and Minako are here?

Isamu: Guys, is that TV supposed to be on?

Freya: *Perks up and turns around, looking at the TV* Huh?

Estella: The clocks around here work too

Ophelia: *Walks over to the TV, examining it silently*

Darling: How do we-

Ophelia: *Grabs a tape beside the TV, and slips it into a small space for it*

Estella: *Walks over* Was that a good idea?

???: Hi I'm Livia!

???: And I'm Mina...

Freya: *Looks over Ophelia's shoulder*

Isamu: What is this...

Livia: *Beams, her jaguar features missing, leaving just her wings* Today we're gonna make an apple pie

Minako: My favorite is peach pie

Ophelia: Something is wrong about this..

Isamu: *Nods looking at TV over* I could've said that

Darling: They both look a little different...

Livia: What's your favorite kind of pie?

Ophelia: Lemon.

Darling: Huh-

Freya: Shhh, that's Livia's favorite flavor...

Livia: *Stares blankly*

Isamu: *Perks up, her eyes widening*

Ophelia: They're alive somehow...they understand what we're saying

Livia: *Beams* Mmm, that sounds delicious!

Estella: Did you see her face?

Darling: Yeah..

Freya: For now we play along..

Livia: Today, we're gonna make an apple pie!

Livia: First, we need to cut the apples!

Darling: *Looks back* Guys, do we also feel like we're being watched?

Ophelia: Yes but keep your eyes forward, don't let whatever it is know we know it's there...

Livia: Hmm, do you know what we can use to cut the apples?

Isamu: Should we answer that?

Freya: I don't think we have a choice

Darling: Gotta agree, the tape is playing

Ophelia: And something might happen if we suddenly stop

Estella: *Shudders frowning* That'd be unpleasant

Ophelia: *Looks at the TV* A knife..

Darling: *Stares with wide as as the TV glitched*

Livia: *Smiles, holding a sharp knife* Good Job! We can use a sharp knife

Minako: *Walks over to Livia, placing a hand on her shoulder* Uhhh, I don't think we're supposed to do that by ourselves

Estella: *Narrows her eyes* What's that on her face?

Ophelia: *Nudges her* They can hear us

Livia: *Aims the end of the knife to Minako's throat, smiling* It's always good to be brave when you're by yourself!

Isamu: Why isn't Mina-

Ophelia: *Holds her hand up* They can hear us but they've programmed somehow with false personalities...

Minako: *Ducks when Livia swing the knife*

Livia: Look I'm a pirate, hehehe!

Minako: That does seem safe...

Livia: *Huffs* Okay, Mina.

Livia: Let's...cut...the apples

Isamu: *Reaches over hitting the TV*

Darling: Stop that..

Livia: *Smiles* That was hard!

Livia: We have almost everything we need to make our pie!

Livia: *Gestured to the items* We just need some sugar!

Freya: *Frowns*

Livia: Hmmm, do you know where we keep the sugar?

Livia: Is it in the pantry-

Minako: *Smiles, pointing to the pantry*

Livia: -the refrigerator-

Minako: *Points over to the refrigerator*

Livia: Or the the sink?

Minako: *Points behind her then looks forward*

Estella: What if we do it wrong?

Darling: I say don't risk it-

Isamu: But what if there's clues then it'd make sense to risk it...

Ophelia: The refrigerator.

Livia: *Shakes her head with Minako* Nope! Try again~

Freya: The refrigerator.

Livia: Don't you want to help me?

Darling: Guys-

Freya: Refrigerator.

Estella: *Perks up as static appeared*

Livia: *Reappears, the fridge missing* So, where's the sugar?

Isamu: *Stares with wide eyes* Oh..my...

Freya: So that's what happens

Ophelia: Which also means maybe answers can be forced upon us or out of us

Estella: You mean she can take control of us

Darling: Creepy...

Ophelia: The pantry.

Livia: *Beams, the fridge reappearing* Great! Let's make a pie!

~~~~

Livia: Mmm, can you smell the apples and cinnamon?

Freya: Yes?

Livia: Ok! It's time to bake a pie!

Minako: *Looks at Livia concerned*

Livia: First preheat the oven to four hundred twenty five-

Minako: I don't think we should be using the oven by ourselves

Minako: We should always ask a parent to help..

Livia: *Looks down* I'm not sure where they are right now.

Livia: *Giggles* We're on our own, Mina!

Minako: *Forces a smile*

Freya: *Hands Darling a notebook* Notebook, write this down

Darling: Okay

Livia: First, preheat the oven to four hundred twenty five degrees!

Livia: Then put the apple in the pie pin!

Livia: Now put it in the oven and bake for forty minutes

Estella: That'd burn it, I'm sure...

Livia: *Beams, throwing her hands into the air* Our pie is ready!

Livia: I can't wait to eat it!

Minako: *Smiles at her*

Livia: Mina! Let's have some pie!

Minako and Livia: *Waves smiling*

Darling: *Catches the tape before it hit the ground* That was weird...

Ophelia: You got the steps?

Isamu: *Looking behind them* Guys was that there before.....?

Freya: *Turns around finding a mini stove on the table with a few supplies scattered around it* What...

Estella: I think we most definitely walked into some kind of trap...

@the-weirdos-mind @yukii0nna @writing-heiress @marrondrawsalot @abyssthing198 @zexal-club @anxious-twisted-vampire

[polyamorouspunk]

WE DO LOVE YOU PUNK!!!!!!! ...platonically though why does everyone think we're always flirting with everybody

anyway HELLO I'M NEW HERE AN WANNA SHOW MYSELFF

I formed yesterday because we were really blurry then got in a situation that made us feel very small and vulnerable so I formed as a syskid!!!

LOOKIE AT ME

my name's Chili, kinda like the original name of Charlie!!!

also the green isn't zombie as in rotting person but zombie as in funky lil dood

I am a girl but it/its sounds fun to me <33

also my favorite minecraft wood is bamboo and I don't like making normal minecraft structures I like building up in the trees with scaffolding and ladders and stairs and things so monsters can't get me as easily

do you play minecraft? oh also I'm 7 but do understand lots of adult concepts but am not exactly comfortable talking about many of them so there's that

also a fun thing about both syskids (me and Duckie) is we both "built" ourselves as in we had no appearance and we found a picrew we liked and started poking at what felt right until we got a picrew that looks like us and therefore we now have a body and a form and stuff also I'm not an age slider like Duckie so yeah

also i wish I had a little buddy on my shoulder but unfortunately we don't have and shoulder-sized little buddies

also an underrated stim is wiggling your butt but you gotta be careful becaues if you do it wrong you'll twerk and it's fine to do that as a stim but you gotta be careful because some people take that to be sexual when it's just a stim

also one of our best friends is getting married tomorrow

also we wanna be closer friends but Charlie says we'll be too weird or that you'll get uncomfortable with our age difference which I don't understand because why is it weird for adults to be Literally Just Friends with even outright kids? I know bad people exist and... what they do but like whenw e were 12 we had only adult friends so i don't get it but I don't want to undermine her authority or your comfort so i'm not gonna do anything

also I hope this isn't too much at once I really like rambling and tumblr's ask box feature lets me do that how i like to

also another thing i just realized about both of our syskids is that we both have yellow eyes HOW COOL IS THAT anyway im running out of WAIT NO

PUNK YOU NEED TO SEE GODZILLA MINUS ONE IT'S SO GOOD

our Goji liked it too!!! we all loved it!!!!

okay now im pretty sure im actually out of things to say bye byeeeee!!!!!!!!!

Yellow eyes are the best

I always wanted a palm-sized pocket dragon like they had in H*rry P*tter when they picked out what dragons they were fighting in the tournament. I’m like they should have let them keep those. But altogether not the worse thing in the plot of those stores though.

I did see Godzilla Minus One already when it came out! I went and saw it in theaters.

Green is certainly funky but I also love quoting DHMIS but the only quote I say is “green is not a creative color”.

I painted a rock today but I was only allowed one rock which kind of sucks.

I don’t own Minecraft so I’ve only played it once.

[acemarkey]

today on ena and cater's ramblings and character analyses: david chiem's system coding!

as a system ourselves, we've managed to pick up on some of his behaviors, which are, if you look deep enough, symptoms of did and/or osdd. so we're gonna talk about that now!

the layout of what we're going to talk about: his "facade" slipping (masking), his possible memory issues, him pausing before doing stuff, his tumblr page quote, and just going over his entire reveal (since it shows a lot).

1: facade/mask slips

several times in drdt, david's facade will slip when he thinks no one's looking, or if he's stressed. the first example is in the prologue itself, during his introduction:

and then he panics and asks teruko to forget what he said right after:

thats the first instance.

there was also before the first trial, when david snaps at teruko to shut up and leave him alone before immediately correcting himself and apologizing, along with several others.

during trial 2, david rambles on about arei being tricked, spewing out derogatory adjectives, and nobody really questions it?

this can be seen as both masking (pretending to be a different alter/one person, essentially) and cofronting (when there are 2 or more alters fronting at once).

the first instance in the prologue seems more like masking, as do most of his slip-ups. the one before the first trial seems like cofronting because of how quick the correction was.

otherwise, he's good at maintaining his mask.

2: memory issues

...it's clear he has memory issues, and they're very apparent in trial 2.

we'll talk about him forgetting the conversation with are in the last section. for now, we're focusing on this:

david doesn't remember going to the relaxation room at first, and he goes along with it because if they're saying it happened, it had to have. and teruko points out his confusion.

but the topic is changed after.

before the breakdown, he said "i was wrong, i think," as if he didn't really know what he did and what he was taking accountability for.

memory issues and amnesia are a big part of systemhood, especially if you have DID. if there are any other mentions of david forgetting things, someone let us know so we can add them! because we forgot. very ironic, i know.

3: pauses

before doing a lot of things, whether it's acting or responding to someone, he pauses for a second, or ignores someone.

like, when he's asked for his alibi pre-trial 1:

of course, he could just be ignoring teruko, since xander just died. but.. he does this a lot.

he hesitated before running after arei. and. well. we'll talk about the rest at the end.

this can be seen as switching (which we'll talk about with the breakdown), or dissociation. mostly dissociation, though? i don't know how to elaborate, but he just seems more distant than one would during this. shrug.

4: quote

this isn't concrete in the slightest, but the source code quote on david's tumblr page is "i hate you, i hate you, i hate you, i wish you would just die."

we know that most people will likely say their quotes in some canon media, like min and arei have. and the quotes, i think, can be up to interpretation on who they were about. arei's doesn't count, but min's has both first and second person pronouns ("i wanted to save you.") honestly? in canon context, this can be seen as her telling teruko she was trying to save her, and her trying to save herself from execution.

david's also uses first and second person pronouns, which we don't believe any other quotes do. obviously, he hasn't said it (yet), so we don't know who it's directed at, but since most quotes are somewhat directed at the owners, it's clear it'll be somewhat about himself.

this completely diverges, but we think it could be "pre-reveal" david directed at "post-reveal" david. since... it doesn't seem like the two like each other, based on how relieved post-reveal david felt after dropping the facade (even though i don't think that's what happened), and pre-reveal david's panic over being called a manipulator.

5: chapter two, episode eleven

alright, this'll be the longest section, but it covers a lot of stuff.

first: david didn't remember the conversation with arei at first.

second: at first, he was panicking over being called a manipulator (he panicked twice! first with arei, second right before he broke down).

first instance ^ here, we don't know what happened after yet, but he was extremely quiet, like mentioned before.

second instance ^ right here, he clams up real bad, as teruko points out.

and what happens right after?

he breaks down. the way we saw it was him switching out with the post-reveal david, but it can also be seen as him giving up on masking. with the long pause, it feels like a switch, though.

and suddenly, after the breakdown, he remembers everything, from meeting arei to going to the relaxation room, and has zero problems with being called a manipulator. he doesn't pause that much anymore, and just takes it all with zero issue.

he did a complete 180. two very different personalities.

now, we hit the image limit, so it's hard to elaborate further. we'll close the post off here:

tl;dr: david is incredibly system-coded, whether it be on purpose or not. he dissociates, has moments that can be described as switches, struggles to mask sometimes, and has bad memory issues.

[predoom]

ohoneohone

Friday, November 11th, 2005 12:35 pm i won't tell a soul if you dont want me to. hearts between our knees sticking to summer sheets. Saturday, November 5th, 2005 4:59 pm keep me fast the way he runs his mouth its a wonder that i havent caught a flight home just for a second alone the way he runs my mouth makes me hate you just as much as him thank god i spend most of the daylight dreaming in wine colored beads the sun never caught me right when i was little i splash water on my face in sinks in green rooms like pinching yourself or trying to wash the miles off down a dark hotel hallway the finger prints in pink and blue like skin and veins i try to jump from the doorway to the bed so i dont leave footprints so i dont disturb the carpet like sand you want shyer eyes you want bigger "im sorry"s and regrets for things that i.Yo.u. did you want survivors in the wreckage you want flashlights in the cave you want second chances for second chances i loved everything about you that hurts your scars, your flaws, your not so subtle attempts at wit and irony that always fell a bit short and felt forced your insincerity, your imitation that you passed off as exploration your morning smile 3 year stand (off) her breathing is shallow she shakes whenever i get near- i guess its an occupational hazard its okay we dont have to talk. youre just a body. heaven sent and percoset. even though we're fading fast.... im sorry "pretty"- you were just a canary in a coal mine. Tuesday, November 1st, 2005 7:57 pm there are many things that i would like to say to you but i don't know how im not even too sure what goes on, especially in my own head. one second its one way and the next its another. i have a funny way of showing i care. but i do. i have to say it- halloween wasn't the same this year with out you. i i had the best time ever in southern california. but it wasn't really halloween with out you. and new years won't either. my calls go out today but they'renot picked up. i get what i get. i got some friends who are wearing their egos on their sleeves. its ok. i'll play dumb. you are a shadow of who you once were. "can we start agains" ive had my share. for the past month my mood has been however our phone calls ended. it felt like i was dying inside when i hung up the phone on you. but i have to make a point. you can only act like dirt for so long before you become it. but theres nobody like me and you. i feel like veins and ligatures when you aren't around. and breathing in isnt the same when you're not breathing out. percoset revolutionary. "look mom, no breathing". fucking fading. fucked up, but not cool fucked up. maybe we rip the map in half and someday we meet up in the middle. by accident or just because. everything and everyone ends up faced down on the floor in the end.

you are my wonderwall. Wednesday, October 26th, 2005 6:51 pm my mom said 'make sure you go to sleep smiling tonight baby cause you'll wake up feeling better" i just re-read everything you wrote over the past two months.

i miss my friends.

there is life after this. i promise myself. Tuesday, October 25th, 2005 10:51 pm everything they say about us is true im watching scary movies like every afternoon. i got some new slipper and pants. i look ridiculous. dreamboat. the inside of my head is always changing. even right this second. when i go back over all the details it makes me so glad im not in that town anymore. all of a sudden we're always in the crosshairs. it kinda feels normal now. we used to goof around about killing ourselves off. but sometimes it wasn't a joke. i can't sleep when the bus isn't moving. went to the fender offices today, they are gonna make me some basses. pretty exciting. the only thing ive ever learned is that its pretty easy to say "i love you" its alot harder to mean it. my friends are dropping like flies. everyone looks good when they are the one with their fingers on the keyboards. history is written by the conquerer. we're headlining an amphitheater tommorrow. thats retarded. fistfightking. makeoutqueen. past midnights. get amazed.

Current Music: 2sweet Sunday, October 23rd, 2005 9:42 am you see that kid... its not me, its you. blow out the candles on caring. encounters yesterday: went to paul walls jewelry shop. pretty insane. then when we played jared leto came over and watched. radio shows are wack. encounters today: the gold medal gymnast from the 2004 olympics is coming to hang out with me. pretty insane. why would you ever want to meet a boy like me. i am boring. you make it easier to make the decisions that i do. i turned off the switch that cares. i watch lots of movies and take lots of naps. cause i am a baby. i am gonna be in the academy video for black mamba. i can't tell you how excited that makes me. Wednesday, October 19th, 2005 11:48 pm ill be on time for that, i cant think of a line that rhymes with that blue looks better than jealousy. im awake but not up. you know what i mean. blew the speakers out like a candle. drowned out my sorrows in a wet dream. i miss you but only in flashing moments. new stuff over at buzznet. people been asking about the prices. honestly we charge what it costs us to make. alot of the stuff lately has been cut and sew or requires hand stitching which is expensive. so we try to keep the stuff really limited, so that it stays special. the bags sold out in a day. we won't be making anymore of that particular bag. but we will be making more limited bags and other items. Tuesday, October 18th, 2005 4:48 pm i, peter lewis kingston wentz, solemnly swear... im trying to figure it out. my head moves way faster than my mouth. i went to a party at chris from nsnyc's house for a party. it was about as good/bad as you would think. except dirty was there. so factor that one in. always up or down, never down and out.

the new nightmare of you record is fantastic. it makes me think of winters at home. love it or leave me. Sunday, October 16th, 2005 12:45 pm baby, im just bad news i don't know if it feels real been watching halloween movies lately to get me in the mood taking lots of naps its easier this way she wont ever love you the way she loves me youre not pretty enough and you dont make her heart beat been hiding messages in morse code and anagrams banging my wrist against the edge of the keyboard until it turns black and blue we're all settling all the time panic! at the disco makes me want to start this all over again coversations with you make me want it to never have begun at all nick plan and william beckett are on the list in one form or another always if you dont have your friends than you dont got shit and my friends are gold halloween is gonna be the best this year i think ive never been in california on halloween- it once was, but it hasnt been for a really long time spent most of the morning on the phone with my mommy cause she can always slow my breathing down you can get used to anything after a while even this, pete pretty boys for secret girls later skater Wednesday, October 12th, 2005 12:02 pm ill make you shake so hard you might not make it through the night new york city is fucking insane. get me. bruisa. fall makes me remember and want love.

okay okay cause i should:

1. you say crazy shit in your sleep, like about us living in old milwaukee. 2. right this second "wonderwall" sometimes star wars. 3. i dunno cherry coke flavored. 4. sugar tail, freckles in your eyes, basement windows, braces 5. new years on the windowsill. 6. uh kind of in a weird way the retriever head on the beagle body. just the nicest dog ever. 7. that one bane lyric, im pretty sure its a question. but mostly lately- what happened to my best friend?

nick york city. the clan party last night was rightious. im kinda going other places. feeling it. quit sleeping on it cause im the life. from the back of my legs to the back of my neck- im so glad there are people out there who won't let me fall off the face of the planet.

young.

panic at the disco at the knitting factory in new york tonight- 5pm. Tuesday, October 11th, 2005 12:57 am you remind me of this one movie. it makes me smile. but not with my mouth and way too many teeth. but with my eyes. trouble loves me. but you do way more. im dreaming on highway lines and phone hang-ups. just happy to be me. for one second.

i got a sweet vest and some teddy bear shoes. im good for cuddling. youre gonna have to trust me on that one.

[possibly-in-wonderland]

Incorrect Creepypasta Quotes (The Bus Improv AU) (Mostly Offenderman & My Self-Insert)

"The Bus Improv AU" is essentially just what my friend and I made up in middle school to pass the time on the bus ride to and from school. Essentially, we played ourselves but as creepypastas. I was 400 something yr old demon that slept around with everyone and my friend went by the name Kat and was just...Kat.

ALSO VERY IMPORTANT: In our AU, Offenderman acts like Asmodeus from Helluva Boss (Helluva Boss wasn't even out yet lmfao). Also, he really likes making green bean casserole???

~~~

Alice: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume? Offenderman: *chugs entire bottle* Offenderman: It’s perfume.

~~~

Alice, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today! Offenderman: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

~~~

Alice: *Screams* Offenderman: *Screams louder to assert dominance* Kat: Should we do something?! Slenderman, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

~~~

Slenderman: How did none of you hear what I just said? Offenderman: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Kat: I got distracted about halfway through. Alice: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

~~~

Brian: Tim, keep an eye on Toby today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched. Tim: Sure, I’d love to see Toby get punched. Brian: Try again. Tim, sighing: I will stop Toby from getting punched.

~~~

Tim: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'? Brian: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated- Toby: Smad.

~~~

Offenderman: In alcohol’s defense, I’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too.

~~~

Offenderman: When I get Doordash I order 20 Cheeseburgers at a time and heat them up throughout the week so that I don’t have to pay the delivery fee multiple times. Alice: I hope you understand how food poisoning works. Offenderman: I hope food poisoning understands how I work. I never met a burger i couldn’t eat.

~~~

Offenderman, watching Alice: Ah yes. The mysterious and beautiful Alice, so demure… Offenderman: …I wonder what sort of melodic sounds this wonderful being makes? Alice: *screaming*

~~~

Slenderman: You either buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonalds. Kat: We're going to McDonalds if I don't do my work? Slenderman: NO-

~~~

Offenderman: *on the phone with Alice* I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot girl shit. Alice: You’re pulling Oreos apart and saving off the frosting to make a mega Oreo, aren’t you. Offenderman: Maybe.

~~~

Alice: Slash gamemode creative. Offenderman: Dude, this isn't Min- Alice: *starts levitating*

~~~

Alice: Are you reading fan fiction? Kat, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No. Alice: Oh, is it on AO3? Kat: This is CNN.

~~~

Kat: *watching the squad's shenanigans with concern* Do you feel like this has gotten out of hand? Alice: I don't know. Feels normal enough for a group that's on 911's blocked callers list.

~~~

Alice: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why. Jeff: Only if you also don't ask why. Jeff: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of hisbag* Alice: ... Alice, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

~~~

Jeff, proudly: I slept. Ben: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?

~~~

Alice: Do you love me? Offenderman: We’re literally married. Alice: Yeah, but as friends or—

~~~

Alice: Hi, I'm Ben's emergency contact. Counter Woman: You're here to pick them up? Alice: I'm here to remove myself as their emergency contact.

~~~

Ben: Help! I’m drowning! Jeff: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water! Ben: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

~~~

Alice: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you? Offenderman: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

~~~

Alice: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this... Offenderman: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card? Alice: Holy moly-

~~~

Alice: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it. Offenderman: What- how? Alice: You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

(random note: in the improv my self-insert temporarily lived with jeff, ben, and smile dog in an apartment and shared a brain cell...smile had the braincell most of the time)

[imperatorrrrr]

my very tinfoil-hat, very unscientific (also very untrue) theory that i've been marinating on for a while that was only proven further correct with today's trades is that fitzy is like lowkey trying to...punish? jack for publicly speaking up for ruff and leading to the prolongation of that nightmare (obviously not actually jack's fault to be clear i'm not insane) and/or break him down to build him back up?? idk. by trading all of his buddies (obviously he-who-shall-not-be-named gone already, bahler traded, marino gone, holtzy gone, you see what I mean?) all the while he knows that at the end of the day a) jack is enough of a nhl-insider-knowledgeable/hockey realist and b) that he'll always ultimately be FINE as long as he has lukey (not in question obviously) and also nico (also not in question obviously) and at least in an on-ice hockey sense bratter (also not gonna happen)

obviously this is certifiably insane and not actually true and that's not how nhl front offices operate etc. BUT i have not been able to get it out of my head for days so now i'm burdening you with it too (VERY sorry) realistically fitz is just kind of bonkers (plausible) OR he's playing 4d chess somehow and ~we'll see. we'll ALL see~ in like three years or whatever

holy theory, anon!

thank you for sharing! I can't say I agree, to be honest...

I will, however, use this opportunity to yap about what I think is going down. Hope you don't mind!

In the 2022-2023 season, we hired Bruno because I think there was basically an unspoken thing that if Lindy doesn't do something with this lineup, Bruno will be his successor. And then, we exceeded every expectation ever, won a playoff round, and put ourselves on the map. Plus, Lindy was even nominated for a Jack Adams. He bought himself job security.

I do think Jack liked Lindy a lot because Jack was given the freedom to do whatever and learn at his own pace under Lindy.

I have my own crackpot theories about Lindy and hating Europeans, and am happy to share that if anyone wants, but he's gone, so it doesn't really matter.

Plus, there's some mixed information out there about Fitz and Lindy's relationship. From his presser, it seems like he was forced to fire Lindy because they needed a scapegoat. From some other stuff, it seems like Fitz wanted Lindy gone much sooner but was stopped by ownership because they wanted Lindy to transition into a front office role and didn't want to sour the relationship. Nothing to do with Jack at all. Jack does not have Sidney Crosby levels of power yet.

I don't think that Jack is being punished for anything. Frankly, I think the kid is probably wrongly punishing himself plenty for everything that went down last season. I don't think Fitz has any ill will towards Jack at all mostly because he built an entire team around Jack (and Nico).

I don't think Fitz is punishing anyone, but I do think he is traumatized by last season (as are we all). We have a bajillion goalies now. We only drafted folks taller than like 6'3. Our new guys coming in are also tall boys, grittier guys. He's stabilizing the blue line which was also our other biggest issue last season.

Kevin Bahl - we needed to give up something for the absolute steal we're getting with Markstrom. Calgary is retaining. Fitz tried to package Holtzy in that, but Calgary valued Kevin Bahl more. Fitz also wants to stabilize the blue line and bring in veteran presence, and you're not going to move Luke or Nemo, so unfortunately, Bahler was the victim

John Marino - this trade is still a little baffling to me. I genuinely thought if Johnny was being traded we'd get a player that was ready to play now, but they traded him mainly for the pick, and we got the best goalie in this years draft. This is probably just setting us up for the future to have a good goalie pipeline. The other reason I've read for the Johnny trade is to make room for Pesce who is rumored to be ours in roughly ten hours. This has to do mainly with how we're going to be defending in front of Markstrom. Pesce allegedly is better suited to that defense system than Johnny is.

Alexander Holtz - I've had time to think about this, and this is very personally devastating to me and I do blame the Devils for how they handled Holtzy, but I'm coming to terms with it. They fucked his development last season by having him sit in the press box for half a season instead of sending him down. And this past season, they never seemed to give him a clear shot. Plus, then Fitz and Lindy made it their mission to shit on him at every waking moment. Unfortunately, Holtzy doesn't really have a spot on our roster. You have to think about it through line identities. Its tough because Lindy did so much shuffling, but Holtzy's hockey doesn't fit into the lines we're trying to build here other than on Jack's line, but I don't think he has the speed to keep up with Jack consistently. I hope he fucking kills it. I hate that its Vegas, but I hope he finally gets a real shot.

Akira Schmid - Akira and his agent wanted out and wanted to test the waters to see if they could get the bag and all power to him for that. Plus, I think it was fairly obvious that he was fourth in the line of goalie succession and maybe even fifth, and so he wants to play, and so he made a decision.

I think tomorrow's free agency chaos will make the vision a lot clearer.

I don't blindly trust Fitz tho, of course.

Sorry for shutting down your theorizing, anon! I just don't think there's anything to it. Plus, I'd argue Jack's crew was Ty, the superbuddies, and Merce, and then they added Johnny. I'd say Holtzy is probably closer to Merce (the Disney trip plus the fact that they go shopping together) and like Timo/Bratter/Nico (per the interview Holtzy gave). I'd also say Johnny was a lot closer to Nate too. And then Bahler had ties to Jack from childhood, but Bahler really kept to himself. (But we don't really know anything about their lives outside of the crumbs we get so anything is possible!)

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Planning for a child

Today we're getting some backstory to some characters who wanted a child, and got it pretty early in their 20s, and their friend who really wanted to be a donor...

Read on ao3 or under the cut.

They all met up for lunch. Jim, Yam, Ramiro, Luna, Nina and Jazmin. 

“I saw the cutest video the other day!” Jazmin said. “It was a mom out with her kids, and her kids did the cutest things! Oh, I wanna be an influencer mom…”

”No, those kids get exploited so much,” Nina said, ”They haven’t consented to be on camera.”

Jim nodded. ”When I have kids, I’m not even gonna post their faces online!”

”But how will the world know that you even have a child, then?” Jazmin asked.

”Do they have to know?” Luna asked. ”I’m with Jim. Children deserve privacy.” 

”Sometimes even from their own parents,” Nina chimed in. 

”Well…” Jazmin said, ”I’m planning on becoming an influencer mom! I just need to… find someone and settle down with them first…”

”Why?” Luna asked. ”I want kids, but I don’t necessarily need someone else to get them with.”

”Then how can you even have a child, Luna?”

”I’ll adopt, of course! Ever since I was a child, I’ve known that I have been wanting to adopt. To give a child the life that I myself got to have.”

Right then, Yam got a phone call. She excused herself as she answered.

”I’m not having kids,” Ramiro said. ”Probably. At least I don’t feel a want for them right now.”

”That’s fine, you can babysit our kids!” Luna chuckled.

”Yeah, I guess so.”

Right then, Yam came back. She looked almost starstruck.

”Jim…”

”Yes?” Jim asked.

”Uh… you know the… clinic we signed up for…?”

”Yes?”

”They… they asked us if we wanted to meet them next week… and discuss…”

”Wait, are you serious?!”

”Yes!”

Jim stood up. ”You said yes, right?”

”Of course I did! They scheduled us for tuesday!”

”Oh my god… oh… it’s all happening so fast!”

”What’s going on?” Nina asked.

”So, uh…” Yam tried to catch her breath, ”Jim and I have known since we were children ourselves that we have been wanting kids. And we’ve researched about it a lot, and… a queue for an IVF appointment can take years. So we put ourselves in a queue like, just a few months ago.”

”Yeah, and we thought they’d call in like 2 years or something,” Jim added.

”Yes… but they called now… ”

”Does this mean that… you’re gonna start planning for a baby now?” Luna asked.

”You’re only 22,” Ramiro said.

”We know…” Jim said. ”But…”

”We don’t know when this opportunity will come again,” Yam said. ”We have to take our chance now!”

”Yes!”

”Well, you are more fertile in your early 20s than later,” Nina noted. ”And you’re financially stable…”

”I can’t believe it!” Yam exclaimed, clinging onto Jim. 

”We’re gonna be parents!” Jim exclaimed.

”Well, it’s just your first meeting,” Nina said, ”It can take a lot of attempts to-”

”Yeah, yeah!” Yam said, ”Still! We’re gonna be parents! Eventually! Soon! Maybe?”

”I’m so happy for you!” Luna cheered and went to hug them.

Ramiro meanwhile, started to think about something.

Some weeks later, Ramiro was over at Jim and Yam’s house. They talked a bit about the meeting at the clinic.

”So first they need to visit us to prove we’re ’suitable’,” Yam sighed. ”It’s such bullshit. Heteros don’t need a visitation before they try for a baby to prove they’re suitable to be parents?”

”You are suitable,” Ramiro assured them. ”Also, I need to ask you something.”

”Ask on,” Jim said.

”How do you pick donors?”

”Oh… I don’t know if we… get to?”

”We haven’t come to that step yet,” Yam said. ”We just need to be approved as suitable first.” 

”Ok, but I have a proposition,” Ramiro said. ”I’ll be your donor.”

The two women stared at him, and then burst out laughing.

”You?” Yam asked.

”Yes! Listen… I don’t know if I want kids. But the thought of… you know, spreading my genes? And you knowing where they came from, too? I’m not saying I wanna be a dad to your kid, just that I wanna help you out.”

Yam smiled. ”Listen, Ramiro… thank you, but no.”

They were deemed suitable. No one doubted it, but Jim and Yam were still nervous about it. But now, it was just to start the journey.

”So, who’s gonna carry the babe?” Ramiro asked.

”Don’t say babe ,” Yam said. ”And it’s me.”

”Okay… and have you picked a donor, or… how does that process go?”

”Well,” Jim said, ”Usually, they pick out someone who resembles the other mother, the one who isn’t carrying. So, they’re getting a male version of me.”

”And you don’t have a say in it?”

They shrugged. ”Well, unless we want a personal donor, it’s the clinic that picks it out. We simply get small information like the nationality, but otherwise the donor is pretty much anonymous,” Jim explained. 

”And… you don’t want a personal donor…?” Ramiro wiggled his eyebrows.

”Ram, we’ve been over this,” Yam sighed.

”Don’t call me Ram , that sounds like a girl’s name!”

”And Jim sounds like a girl’s name to you?” Jim asked with a smug face.

”I’m gonna call you Rama Lama Ding Dong,” Yam said in a tone that you couldn’t determine was serious or not. ”Anyway. I want my kid to remind me of my wife in some way.”

”Alright…” Ramiro sighed. ”But! If it’s a boy, please name it Ramiro!”

”As a middle name, maybe,” Jim told him.

Some months later, Yam came out from the bathroom with a smile. 

She handed over the positive test to Jim.

”Oh my gosh!” Jim exclaimed, ”I didn’t think it was gonna work! This is only the second insemination we’ve tried, isn’t it?”

”I guess I’m really fertile,” Yam joked. 

She and Jim hugged as happy tears ran down their cheeks. 

The first one they told, after their families of course, was Ramiro.

”Well, then I have some news for you,” Ramiro said, smirking. ”You see, during your insemination, I snuck in and switched your donor’s sample with my own. So you’re carrying my baby now.”

Jim and Yam stared at him.

”No, you didn’t,” they said in unison, looking rather unimpressed at his attempts to trick them.

”Fine. I didn’t. I actually tried to sign up as a donor a while ago but they declined me because they said I didn’t match the criteria.”

The women chuckled at that. 

”Sorry,” Yam said.

”It doesn’t matter, though! I’m certain that inside of you is growing a tiny me.” He bent down, patting her belly. ”Hey, you have it good in there? You’re gonna grow into a little dude, I just know it!”

”It’s barely a fetus just yet,” Yam snickered, ”I’m in like week 6.”

”I think a dude is aware it’s a dude already as a sperm, to be honest,” Ramiro declared.

It turned out it wasn’t a ”little dude” growing in there, but it didn’t stop Ramiro from referring to her as that. 

Having his friends getting kids made him start thinking if maybe it would be nice to have one yourself. But he wasn’t too sure of it… 

[crookshanks23]

A Tale of Songs and Themes

Buckle in folks, this is gonna be a long one. But I've been wanting to analyze the lyrics of both opening themes for awhile. So here we go.

The lyrics of both themes have been posted below under my thoughts. I chose to use the acoustic version of Alright because there are more verses to look at.

The first thing that stands out to me, is how hopeful both themes are, but in very different ways. "Alright" has an adult hopefulness. An understanding of the world. "On My Way", on the other hand, definitely has a teen vibe. It's a bit cynical, but still hopeful.

"Alright" feels like the ultimate optimist. Everything, no matter how bad it gets, will be alright. Admittedly, "Alright" also feels somewhat delusional. There's both this embrace of bad things happening "even if you die", but a repeat of "it'll be alright" over and over again. Not everything is alright all the time. But maybe the point is that this is the adult taking the long view. Eventually, even after my life ends, it'll be alright. I guess I appreciate the delusion. Even though I "used to read between the lines" and see the problems, "They never made me frown" because we can push forward in spite of the problems. I think it's great to have that optimism, even if it doesn't always feel true.

Another line is "all you do is try", again showing how the emphasis of the theme is pushing forward and how the hardships will eventually work themselves out. You fall down and you pick yourself up the best you can. Seeing the bad things can't and won't ruin your optimism.

"On My Way" has a different hopeful vibe. Like, yeah, things are screwed up, but I'm going to change it. I'm going to make it better. The refrain of "not today" feels like it has 2 meanings. One that things aren't going to get better today. But also a cry of "not today", like this isn't going to happen on my watch. I'm going to make this better. The previous generation fucked us, so now we're going to fix it.

The refrain of "no one knows us better than ourselves" is the line that really make me feel like this is about teens. Of course teens would feel like no one understands them. The "used to tell myself it'll be alright/Pretty lies let me sleep at night" lines call out the deluded nature of the first theme directly. It's not alright. We're living in a Doodlerized world. Our lives have been whisked away. We don't get to live the way we want. The kiddads don't get to raise children in the world they thenselves were born into.

"Beg steal and borrow/break what we can't change" is another line that I love. It's like the teens saying, "We're going to do this our way," and break away from what came before. The previous generation screwed it up and their solution sucks, so let's fix this.

"I don't need your sorrow/come back tomorrow/I"ll be on my way" is the hope of this theme. Despite a more cynical view of the world, there is still hope. We *will* fix it. Maybe not today, but eventually. Then, the second verse about loving the dark and holding their fears is interesting. They're not afraid of the things in the dark. They don't look away from them.

On the patreon, Max and Freddie talk about the evolution of the second theme. If I remember correctly, one change they talked about that I find interesting is that they went from "We'll be on our way" to "I'll be on my way". It highlights the isolation and loneliness of teens, who often feel misunderstood. Over the course of this season, we've seen these individuals make individual choices. I'm excited to see them progress as a team and start to make decision as a team. But they aren't there yet.

At the end of the day, we have 2 themes about hope and moving forward. From 2 different perspectives on life. Neither of them wrong, necessarily. Just different. I'm excited to see how this theme of hope plays out in this season. It certainly seems like the kiddads don't have that hope. I look forward to the catharsis of them finding that hope again, through their kids. Because it will be alright. Just not today.

Alright (Acoustic)

There was a time when you could read between the lines

You know they never brought you down

never brought you down.

There wasn’t a box and you weren’t thinking anyway,

So you never brought you down, you never brought you down.

And I know, I know, I know It’s gonna be alright!

Yeah, it’s gonna be alright,

It’ll be alright ‘cause that’s just life,

Even if you die It’ll be alright.

It’s gonna be alright, it’s gonna be alright

It’ll be alright ‘cause that’s just life

All you do is try and It’ll be alright.

There was a time when you could read between the lines,

You know they never got you down, never got you down.

And all of the times that you fell flat upon your face

You know it never made you frown, picked it up off the ground

And I know, I know, I know it’s gonna be alright!

Yeah, it’s gonna be alright,

It’ll be alright ‘cause that’s just life,

Even if you die It’ll be alright.

It’s gonna be alright, it’s gonna be alright It’ll be alright ‘cause that’s just life

All you do is try and It’ll be alright

Yeah, it’s gonna be alright, It’ll be alright ‘cause that’s just life,

Even if you die It’ll be alright.

It’s gonna be alright, it’s gonna be alright It’ll be alright ‘cause that’s just life

All you do is try and It’ll be alright.

There was a time when you could read between the lines

You know they never brought you down,

they never brought you down

On My Way

All our days

Whisked away

Or is there something 

More to say

You know that no one knows us better than ourselves

Used to tell myself it'll be alright

Pretty lies let me sleep at night

I know that no one knows me better than myself

And I know I'll get this right

Just a matter of time til we

make it out alive

Alive

We gotta pick ourselves up and say

not today, no, not today,

We live for tomorrow,

beg steal and borrow

break what we can't change

We gotta pick ourselves up and say

not today, no, not today,

I don't need your sorrow

come back tomorrow

I'll be on my way

Of all the places

In our hearts

why do we so love the dark

Every minute every hour every day

Are all these fears

Mine to hold?

I can feel them in my bones

You know I wish we didn’t feel so all alone

We gotta pick ourselves up and say

not today, no, not today,

We live for tomorrow,

beg steal and borrow

break what we can't change

We gotta pick ourselves up and say

not today, no, not today,

I don't need your sorrow

come back tomorrow

I'll be on my way

I'll be on my way

We gotta pick ourselves up and say

not today, no, not today,

We live for tomorrow,

beg steal and borrow

break what we can't change

We gotta pick ourselves up and say

not today, no, not today,

I don't need your sorrow

come back tomorrow

I'll be on my way

[creepypasta-meh-dudes]

Lunchables and Familiarity

*Nathan the Nobody and Candy Pop are sitting on Candy Pop's bed, recovering from a little game they liked to play called: How long can we kiss without passing out?...with Candy Pop winning as usual*

*after a few more deep breaths, Nathan looks over at Candy Pop*

Nathan: you want to come with me to get a lunchable?

Candy Pop:....what in the 7 deadly sins is a lunchable?

Nathan:.......what did you just say?

Candy Pop: what's a lunchale-

Nathan: you poor, neglected, demon possesed-fairy-angel-blue jolly rancher....you have never tasted a Lunchable?

Candy Pop: no....I haven't....

Nathan: *picks candy up* come with me then, blue raspberry goblin, we shall find you the best Lunchables we can....and some babybel cheese on the side!

Candy Pop: *finding this wildly funny* alright then?

*Nathan carries Candy Pop on his back, taking him to the nearest exit of Jason's little pocket universe....he puts Candy Pop down about 3 minutes later cause he's having trouble keeping his balance with the unruly and excited genyr on his back*

*eventually Nathan finds the exit and Walks out with Candy Pop into an alley way, seeing a walmart sign about 5 minutes away from them*

Nathan: *putting away his mask and tying his hair up into a man bun* alright...if anyone asks, Candy Pop, you are a cosplayer and I am your roommate.

Candy Pop: but you're my boyfriend-

Nathan: *putting a finger to the small jester's lips* SHHHHHHH. we will devote ourselves to the role.

Nathan: NOW, we shall go...*he walks with Candy Pop to the walmart*

*Once they are inside, Candy Pop looks around excitedly...practically bouncing up and down, even though Candy Pop had gone to Walmart with Nathan a few times before, he always found it all quite invigorating considering where he was from, they had nothing like this*

*Nathan walked toward the cheese and lunch meat isle and pointed at the lunchables*

Nathan: the ambrosia and nectar of humans......✨Lunchables✨

Candy Pop: you've been hanging out with Papa Grande...haven't you?

Nathan:...........hush you glitter force-glitter diamond lookalike.

*candy Pop laughs at this and just grabs a lunchable*

Candy Pop: alright we got the- *GASP*

Nathan: huh?

Candy Pop: *pointing at the refrigerators* red bull!

Nathan: Candy...if i buy that for you...Jason will KILL me....you understand that...right?

Candy Pop: small price to pay for your boyfriend's happiness~

Nathan:.....you're lucky i'm feeling extra good today.

*Nathan gets a red bull for candy pop and walks with him to the cashier*

Cashier: that'll be 14.59...

Nathan: *raises an eyebrow* hm...that's...more...than usual...

Cashier: *shrugs and takes the money from Nathan and gives them the stuff they bought*

Nathan: *mumbles* thanks...

*Candy Pop kept his eyes on the cashier...something felt....off*

Cashier: *looks at Candy with an odd grin....a grin Candy Pop had seen in the past but couldn't quite put his finger on* so...you're a cosplayer? what- or WHO are you cosplaying?

Candy Pop: *cautious* well....i'm cosplaying-

Cashier: wait....let me guess. a genyr?

Candy Pop: *eyes widening* how did you-

Nathan: *already at the exit* Candy! c'mon! Jason's gonna get worried if we're gone for too long!

Candy Pop: c-coming...*he heads towards Nathan...thinking about the odd interaction he just had...how on earth did that cashier know Candy Pop was a genyr...Genyrs were not something humans knew about...Genyrs were often mixed up with Angels...but that cashier had guessed perfectly...it wasn't normal*

*Nathan and Candy Pop head home and enjoy their red bull and lunchables*

*after they finish, they both get ready for bed, Candy Pop practically vibrating from the red bull...they walk to Jason's room and lay down all together, Candy Pop in the middle of the 6'0" goth and the 6'4" Toymaker*

Jason: *looking down at Candy Pop* why....why on Earth are you so shaky?

Nathan: *giving Candy a look that says: tell him and you wont be able to walk for a week.*

Candy Pop: *simply smiles at Nathan and turns to Jason* Nathan bought me a Red bull.

Nathan: YOU LITTLE SNITCH-

Jason: *sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose* i'm too tired to lecture you at this point...just don't do it again.

Nathan: *squints* hm...alright....fine...

Candy Pop: *simply chuckles and drifts to sleep*

*the throuple falls asleep peacefully*

................................................

Cashier: *walking into the back of Walmart snickering*

???: what's so funny?

Cashier: *slowly morphing* you wouldn't believe what I saw....

???: what?

*the cashier has now completely morphed*

Morivin: I got to see our dear older brother.

Drolsoir: he was here?

Morivin: yes...posing as a cosplayer with this...HIPPIE he was with

Drolsoir: ah...do you think we could use this?

Morivin: i believe we can younger brother....we will use our brother's relationship with that hipster people call a man to draw him in....and kill Night Terrors.

Drolsoir: lovely....

.....................................

*candy pop sits up, waking in a cold sweat*

Candy Pop: no....no no no....

Night Terrors: what is it?

Candy Pop: *grits his teeth* Morivin.....that cashier....it was Morivin....

Night Terrors: *Malice and cruelty in his voice* oh my~ quite the development we have.....

*Candy Pop closes his eyes in regret.....remembering the danger this could put him in....the danger this could put Jason and Nathan in*

Candy Pop: *breathes out* very well....I will simply have to be more careful...

*he lays down, pretending like everything is ok....just as he always does...*

........................

so, if you couldn't tell, this is going to be connected with the backstory i wanted to make for him.

(none of these characters belong to me,

Nathan was created by Ivydarkrose

Candy Pop was created by: DanceofAngels

Jason was created by: Kristanyl.)

Morivin and Drolsoir were created by Ivydarkrose