#we're going to get blamed for it. that they're nesting in here.

[fallenclan]

// death is a pretty big theme in this fic, so yeah.

// part 2 of my first silverbelly fic and i would super appreciate if u could link the first one because i can't for some reason LOLL

"Here," Silverbelly says, holding out a few blue berries on her paw. "There were extra."

"What do I do with them?" Flypaw stares at her, round eyes wide.

"I don't mind," she replies. Then, she walks off to go congratulate Wormshade.

The next day, she wakes up, checks on her kids, and Flypaw has the berries tucked right behind his ear. She has no doubts that Mudpaw was the one who helped him put it there.

She goes about her day as normal. Rearranges her herbs, shares a rabbit with Applebranch and Maplethorn (who is exhausted of constantly third wheeling them), and shows Stormkit the herbs.

She cleared out Sunwish's nest the day after her vigil. Cleared out the scatteredly organized herbs, and tried not to stare at Scorchstar too much.

Scorchstar didn't share tongues with Sunwish before her death, and she didn't bring her body back to camp. It's not like they were close in the way Honeygleam and Dawnshine were, where their scents tended to rub off on eachother. In fact, she's fairly sure that she's only seen Scorchstar and Sunwish speaking a total of seven times in as many moons.

Scorchstar being in her pelt made no sense.

It was a mystery in the same way that Ivyleaf and Otterslip look uncannily alike. Neither of them ever addressed this, but it was obvious they were somehow related to eachother.

She recalls the vision, of the line of blood trailing from one rock to the next. The glinting of amber eyes and blood trapped between claws.

--

She's digging through the snow, desparate. Damp leaves stick on her paws.

"Where is he?" Wormshade wails.

"We'll find him," Honeygleam says. "He can't have gone far."

Avalanches were one of the dangers lying in wait. With the changing seasons came fluctuating warmth, resulting in the toppling snow and rock that came hurtling down the mountain moments ago.

She stares at where Goldenflare is attempting to comfort a shocked patrol. Curly and Oaktuft look shellshocked, eyes blown wide.

"What's going on?"

"The avalanche- it-" Curly's breath hitches. "We got lucky. We- we're fine. But- stars, Nick."

Wormshade stares at her. "What happened to him?"

"Oh, Wormshade," Curly breathes. "He got trapped. The snow caught him before we could get him out of the way."

Oaktuft and Curly lead the four to a ledge, where there is a pile of snow and one snow covered, gray limb sticking out of the pile. Wormshade stops breathing next to her.

--

Scarcely a week later, tragedy strikes again. They're still trying to go back to normal, and then Scorchstar doesn't return from her walks.

Goldenflare turns to her. "She's been so distant lately. I don't know where she is or what she might be doing."

"Send a patrol out to find her," Silverbelly says. "I have to meet Lakelily at the border, we're trading some juniper for thyme. I'll keep a look out for her there."

"Thank you," Goldenflare says.

And when she returns, a small group of cats are huddled around a bloodied brown body in the clearing, and Silverbelly knows what's just happened.

--

"Are you ready?" She asks.

Goldenflare stiffly nods. His tail nervously lashes from the sides.

"You'll do fine," she says.

"I'm not ready," he whispers. "I keep getting cats hurt."

"Is this about Morningbloom?"

He falls silent, and she has her answer.

"I couldn't protect Nettlestem, or Sunwish, or Scorchstar. I couldn't even protect my mate. How am I meant to protect a whole clan's worth of cats?"

"None of those events were your fault," Silverbelly briskly says. "You know exactly how they all died. Nettlestem was ambushed by a rogue on a peaceful walk. Sunwish was murdered. Scorchstar was mauled by dogs. Stop blaming yourself for things that are out of your control."

He stares at her. "When did you get so smart?"

"I think parenthood had something to do with it," she snorts. "Dip your muzzle in the water and sleep will come. You'll wake up in Silverpelt."

"How do I know they'll accept me?"

"You won't."

--

Morningbloom is the first. (Stars, make him a mess for the rest of the ceremony, why don't you?)

"With this life, I give you sympathy," Morningbloom chokes out. Her eyes are round with longing and grief. "Use it to understand, from the strongest warrior to the youngest kit to the oldest elder."

Goldenflare stares at her, eyes glossy with unshed tears.

"It's not your fault," she whispers. "It's never been your fault."

Silverbelly feels like she's intruding on such a moment.

She steps back into the crowd, and Goldenflare takes one step after her then stops, staring at the star speckled ground. His eyes clench shut as the next cat walks to him.

Other cats walk up to him. Nettlestem, Wildfang, Nick. Tawnyash and Rum Tum Tugger are a surprising addition. Breezeshadow approaches, her starlit eyes as kind as ever.

Finally, Scorchstar steps forward. "I've had many regrets in my leadership. Making you my deputy was not one of them."

Goldenflare stares at her, murmurs something Silverbelly can't quite make out. Scorchstar nods once, a tiny movement she would have missed if she wasn't looking closely.

"With this life, I give you leadership during the darkest times. Persist, even when tragedy strikes. Never falter, never give up. You have a duty to these cats."

Goldenstar jolts as her muzzle rests on his head.

"Your old life is no more," Scorchstar says. "It's your duty to guard Fallenclan, now. Use your new power wisely."

Morningbloom breaks the careful silence with a yowl. "Goldenstar! Goldenstar!"

The rest of the star speckled cats chime in, and Silverbelly awakes in the glow cave.

--

"Silverbelly?"

She turns at the noise. Stormkit is staring at her, with his giant copper eyes.

"Yes?" She sets down her pile of poppy seeds on a leaf. "Can I help you?"

"I don't wanna be a warrior. Is that bad?"

She's taken aback by his wavering tone. "No, honey, of course not."

"It's just that-" he stiffly stops in the middle of his sentence. "Hailkit and Goosekit and Moonkit all wannna be warriors but I like plants and fixing scrapes and cuts. I like learning about the cool stuff you do. I don't wanna hurt cats, I want to help them!"

She listens sympathetically. She had her own doubts at his age. All anyone her age talked about were fighting moves or catching cool birds, and she just liked the clovers that grew in the leader's den.

"You could be my apprentice," she says. "I could teach you everything I know about herbs and plants and the stars."

"Really?" Stormkit's eyes grow round.

"Really," she purrs. "You'd be great at it, you're already such a big help."

Privately, there's another reason she goes to Goldenstar and tells him she's chosen Stormkit to be her first apprentice.

--

Since Stormpaw has become her apprentice, the brief flashes of the future that the stars bless her with have become more vivid. More real.

She wants to think it's a good thing, that she's becoming more in tune with her ancestors and the mystifying words they give her. In reality, she feels like she's hardly sleeping.

When she wakes up, there is moss scattered over her den. Her first instinct is to find Stormpaw, and he's one nest over, nestled under the rock that she puts lungwort on.

He's taken to his apprenticeship like eagles to the sky. He loves the herbs, the smells don't bother him, and Toro frequently has to groom leaves out of his pelt. He retains everything she tells him, and always makes sure the herbs are organized in just the way she likes them.

One day, this den will be his. He can organize the herbs however he'd like, and he can sleep under the lichen instead of under a mossy rock.

She tucks her head over her paws and drifts back to sleep.

--

"This is Holly," Ivyleaf says. "Her twoleg was so awful to her, and she's had a bad fright. She's flinchy, and doesn't react well to sudden noise."

Silverbelly nods. "Alright. Stormpaw, I have a job for you."

Stormpaw perks up, a little piece of mallow tumbling from his fur. "Yeah?"

"Go tell your siblings to play quietly. Holly's new and the loud noise scares her."

Stormpaw dutifully nods. "Do you want me to bring her thyme?"

"If you'd like," Silverbelly says. "Just not too much."

Stormpaw scoops up a stalk of thyme and scrambles away.

"He's so gentle," Ivyleaf muses. "You chose your apprentice well."

"I would hope so," Silverbelly laughs. "I can't quite have a reckless medicine cat. Could you imagine Flypaw in here?"

Ivyleaf shivers. "No thank you. Thanks, Silverbelly."

Silverbelly watches her leave.

--

"This is Moxie," Hailpaw proclaims. "Moxie, this is Oaktuft. She used to be a house cat but now she's a warrior and she's way better at running than you are."

Oaktuft scoffs. "Yeah, we'll see. Race me later?"

Moxie hums. "Sure."

(Moxie, without doubt, kicks his ass. Silverbelly watches as Oaktuft gracelessly falls in love with Moxie from that alone.)

--

"And, that should do it," Stormpaw says. "Tell me or Silverbelly if it starts feeling hot. We'll change out the poultice twice a day, at sunrise then sunset. Okay?"

Celia blinks at him. "Uh, okay."

Stormpaw, unfortunately, has a habit of speaking too fast for anyone to catch up with. And tends to run into tangents about this plant or the other.

When he runs off to go check on Robinkit, Silverbelly turns back to Celia. "Sorry about him. He gets excited."

"No, it's fine," he laughs. "Finch used to be like that too. Runs off into tangents about this interesting berry she found, or a shiny rock from a garden. I heard the important parts. Tell you if it's hot, change it twice a day."

"Bingo," she says.

--

"Lichenstripe, meet Silverbelly. Silverbelly, meet Lichenstripe."

"I remember you," Silverbelly says, to the apparent shock of Oaktuft. "You're the medicine cat of Shallowclan. Is everything alright?"

"Eh," Lichenstripe hums. "Long story short, I'm out of a home and I'm staying here now. If that's okay with you," he hastily adds.

"Yeah, sure," she hums. "Make yourself comfortable."

(Later, she learns that Lichenstripe had a vision of one of the newly born kits, Violetkit. She doesn't ask much about it, but it's clear from the twitching of his tail and the way his claws anxiously work at the moss of his nest that it wasn't a very good one.)

--

"Feels good," Celia hums. "Anyway, you're smart, Silverbelly. What are the chances Goldenstar would agree to a one on one patrol with me?"

Silverbelly gawks. Stormpaw gracelessly trips over a rock. Holly snorts.

"Um," she says. "Next to nothing."

"That's still something!" Celia turns from the den and struts into the clearing. He makes a beeline for Goldenstar, and Silverbelly watches in shock as he walks out of camp with him.

"I give up," she quietly says. "You see that, Stormpaw? Don't do that. If you ever decide you want a mate, don't do what Celia just did."

"But it worked?"

--

Silverbelly casually observes Oaktuft's crush.

Applebranch and Honeygleam are suffocating from laughter next to her. Dawnshine is trying, and failing, to not snort.

"He's hopeless," Maplethorn mutters. "Give up while you can, Oaktuft. She's too good for you."

--

Silverbelly has taken Stormpaw out collecting herbs.

"Did you find those daisies yet?" Silverbelly calls.

"Yeah, they're right over here," Stormpaw replies. And then, he goes shudderingly still.

Smells of the stars waft over Silverbelly, but she doesn't interrupt Stormpaw. He could be recieving an important vision.

She carefully plucks away the daisies, and he seems to bounce back.

"Woah," he says. "Is this what getting high on catmint feels like?"

"Not really," Silverbelly winces. Why did she just tell her apprentice that she knew what getting high on catmint felt like.

"It was weird. It was like I was falling."

--

"Mudsplash! Flyspots!"

Flyspots rushes down to them. Mudsplash is close behind, but she stumbles and her brother pulls ahead.

"Oh, you're warriors, I'm so proud," she whispers, and makes the selective choice to embarass her kits. She dives forward to lick Flyspots' head, and he topples backwards.

"Mom, mom please!"

"Resistance is futile," Applebranch snorts. "Great job, kid."

"I'm not a kid anymore," Flyspots declares. "I'm a warrior."

"You'll always be a kid to me," Applebranch laughs.

"Yeah, because you're old," Mudsplash quips.

Silverbelly jolts, and moves to stand next to Applebranch, who is mock sniffling. "How could you?"

Flyspots looks at them, eyes wide. "No, mama, I didn't mean it. You're not old."

"Yeah, great job, Flyspots," Mudsplash mockingly scowls. "You made her cry."

"You're not old, mama, I swear."

"Swear on a moon of dawn patrols?" Applebranch slyly peeks up.

"On a moon of dawn patrols, you're not old," he says. Then he pauses, seemingly realizing what he's just said. "Fuck."

--

"I'm expecting, again," Applebranch says. Then she blinks. "Lichenstripe said so, at least."

Stormpaw, who was watching, promptly squeals. "Silverbelly! Silverbelly! Can I help?"

"I don't see why not," she hums. "Lichenstripe will probably deliver the kits, since my nerves got so bad last time. Sunwish had to physically send me out of the den."

"You can be my personal assistant," Applebranch says. "You can shove raspberries and borage down my throat, like this one did last time." She places a paw on Silverbelly's shoulder

She sighs. "I do it to all the queens."

"Mostly me," Applebranch replies.

(When Applebranch tells Flyspots the news, he screams into his nest, and then turns around like nothing just happened and says, "That's great mom!")

--

"Ivyleaf's gone," Oaktuft mumbles.

"What?" Otterslip stares. "She can't be gone. She's not gone."

"There was an eagle," Moxie tries. "Nothing could have been done."

Otterslip falls silent, then whips around and runs off. Silverbelly feels a pang of pity in her heart.

So maybe that's why she doesn't stop him, when they finally find her body and bring it back to camp. Maybe that's why she doesn't stop him as he sobs over her body, even though she really needs to prepare it for burial.

--

Moxie and Oaktuft are mates. Dawnshine begrudgingly takes his moon of dawn patrols and complains to Robinpaw, who complains to Stormpaw, who complains to her. And that's how she finds out.

"Maybe he shouldn't place bets he can't win," Stormpaw thoughtfully says.

"He's never been a good better," Silverbelly snorts. "Maybe this one will finally teach him his lesson."

--

"Thanks, Lichenstripe, I really appreciate it," she says. "Send a patrol for us if we're needed."

Lichenstripe nods, and waves them off. He's not coming for two reasons. One, because Shallowclan would probably get pissed if they knew he was still with the clans, and two, there was something Silverbelly wanted to do tonight.

She meets up with Lakelily, who smiles and asks how she's been. Then, they intersect with Sandcrash and Pearlnose, and finally bump into Sunpetal and Stonepaw, who falls into easy conversation with Stormpaw, like they always do.

"So," Sunpetal glances towards their chatting apprentices. "Stormpaw's getting his name today, right?"

Silverbelly nods. "I'm not sure what I'll name him quite yet. Perhaps Sunwish will offer her guidance?"

Sunpetal hums. "Maybe."

Sunpetal was young. 36 moons, and was already the senior medicine cat of her clan.

"We're having a bit of trouble in the clan," she says. "Thornstar is extremely ill and Snowviper is no better. I fear we'll be leaderless in a moon."

"So, you want Dancingfrost to give you some guidance?" Sandcrash asks. "Thornstar's been sick for moons, hasn't he?"

Sunpetal blearily nods. "Snowviper was fine before, but it came out of nowhere and it hit her hard. She can hardly get out of her nest. Her mate died last evening, that hasn't been helping."

"I'm sorry," Pearlnose says. "I lost an elder to greencough last week. She was old, but it didn't hurt any less."

Sandcrash nods. "I lost Billowkit to kittencough."

The patrol murmurs their apologies.

"How's the rest of the litter?" Pearlnose asks.

"They're alright," Sandcrash murmurs. "Firekit and Poppykit were too young to understand. Swansplash was really upset, but she knew nothing could be done."

Sandcrash had a mate and kits. Not every medicine cat took a mate, but he did. Swansplash was lovely, a long furred molly with bright purple eyes. Pearlnose also had a mate, a cat named Rosebriar. Despite her name, she was widely known as the best fighter in the clans.

Lakelily was 72 moons, but it didn't look like he'd ever take a mate. Sunpetal had offhandedly mentioned a cat named Autumn.

"And Sunpetal," Pearlnose says. "Thornstar is old. He's been leader since before most of us were born. It's probably his time."

"But Snowviper..." Sunpetal trails off. "She's getting worse by the day. I'm afraid she'll be gone soon."

Silverbelly hums. "Wasn't there a situation like that in ArchClan before?"

Sandcrash hums. "Yes, I think so. Starclan sent Whisperingleaf a sign that time, I'd have to ask him."

Before Silverbelly knows it, they're at the mouth of the cave. Stonepaw and Stormpaw's chatter abruptly stops.

"Stormpaw," she calls. "Step forward."

Stormpaw's copper eyes shine bright.

"Dip your nose in the water, and Starclan will call you," she instructs. She glances back at Lakelily to make sure she's doing this right, and he nods.

She settles down, and drifts awake, into a starry hill. Her breath leaves her when she sees Sunwish standing before her.

"Welcome, Stormpaw," she kindly says. "Silverbelly's trained you well."

She sees Wildfang and Breezeshadow standing, watching closely but not interfering.

"I do wish I could have met you," Sunwish sighs. "Maybe in another life. Now, step forward."

Stormpaw carefully steps forward.

"Stormpaw, do you promise to heal and protect your clan?"

"I do," he says. "I promise."

"Then, by the power vested in me, I name you Stormsight. We honor your vigilance and enthusiasm."

Sunwish steps away, and Silverbelly shouts, "Stormsight!"

The other medicine cats join her. Stormsight stares at her, grinning brightly, and Silverbelly grins back.

Stormsight suddenly stops. The sky, previously alight with stars, goes black.

The other medicine cats are deathly still. Stormsight himself isn't moving. Like time has stopped.

Silverbelly looks around herself, shaking as she peers into the pool of water.

A rock drops into it, knocking some water away from the rocks and onto the shore. It shines red as it lands on her paws.

She looks behind her, willing someone who is better at this to help her. Lakelily, Sandcrash, Pearlnose?

They aren't there.

Shaking, she turns back around, and jumps. Stormsight has vanished.

Those fucking rocks.

It's the same dream, of the rocks. The blood trails from one to the next in a single line, and then it abruptly stops.

She stares at the rock. One is brown, the next is a lighter shade. The final rock could barely constitue for brown, it's more orange than anything.

A scream travels behind her, followed closely by a shattering crack. She wants to turn around, but it's like her paws are frozen in place.

Silverbelly screams.

And then she wakes up.

-🍭 (society if tumblr would stop eating my asks)

(first part here)

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT?????? LOLLIPOP MY JAW FUCKING DROPPED I AM CRYING REAL LIFE TEARS. your writing is absolutely INSANE. so vivid and i LOVE your worldbuilding and the little hints to other stuff going on??????? AHHHH THIS IS SO GOOD IM LOSING MY MIND

Lichenstripe having a vision of Violetkit holy shit. the MOXIEOAK. Silverbelly's vision. holy fuck i am losing my mind. correct me if im wrong but. the rocks. Scorchstar and Otterslip. but who is the third rock i am chewing and biting auhghghhgh

[anaalnathrakhs]

it fucking breaks my heart i've been killing myself for months trying to repair my relationship w my parents and the three of us are just fucking deficient human beings. we're incapable of changing we're fucking incapable of it there's no going back everything was set from the moment i was born. they never should've had a child, but what the fuck could i blame on them? once the kid is here you just do your best you can't just decide it was a bad idea and get rid of it. they did their best. there's no good way to deal with a fucked up child. but holy fuck i wish i wasnt just idk born wrong. i wish life didn't suck and wasn't so hard. i wish when my mom said she'd take more time for family and relaxing she didn't go back to working until 8pm at least every day in the following month, but there's realities pushing her to. i wish when we saw each other we had things to do rather than just stare at each other awkwardly. i can't ever do anything because everything impacts my parents. and god knows i owe them to stop impacting them so much i did enough shit already. i can't enjoy a trip out with them because then we go home and it's MORE incredibly unsatisfactory socializing and forced eating lest they look at me like a monster. i can't leave because then it's WE leave not I leave. i can't just live my life after school because i have to be back to have the terrible binge-inducing dinner with them else i'm a fucking monster who makes them stay awake and worry at night. i have to make them aware of my every move because else they're gonna worry, i can't do that to them i have no valid reason to. i can't ever relax. i have no safe place anymore. there's always food in the house, we always have to go grocery shopping the same day and fill up the pantry. i can't buy anything substantial or component of a "normal" meal because then they just sit there while my mom never uses them despite knowing about them the whole time. there's been bricks of soup in the pantry for like two months she hasn't even MENTIONNED CONSIDERING THEM for the whole time. we bought, and i mean WE bought, WE took a couple canned vegetables from the shelves and we said good idea and we put them in the cart, and then she NEVER used them until i desperately broke the agreement that i was not to have control over what's for dinner and suggested we could perhaps maybe eat the food we had bought to eat, and she was like yeah sure great idea! we ate one can, and then for WEEKS afterwards we still don't touch any of the other cans. she keeps adding and adding and adding a billion things to every meal it makes me wanna rope. she keeps putting huge slabs of butter in pasta MOTHER it tastes the same except it's gross and five billion calories now can you stop doing that thanks. i've had my parents pretty much at my will for many many things all of my life, because they're completely floating in the meaningless void on what it means to be a parent, and it's just not healthy in ways i cannot possibly wholly imagine, and now we're stuck in some sort of circle that if i don't DEMAND something it's like i never said anything. but i can't DEMAND things because that is not a control a kid should have over their own parents and there's no nuance of possible things it's either they'll bend over backwards for even the most ill-advised demand or they will not budge an inch for the most structured three-parted argument doubled with the plead of my failing mental health even if it has demonstrably not worked before, and i certainly do not want to have a relationship with ANYONE where they feel forced to act a certain way because of me. and it's been so weird having developped this kind of very marked independance on like, DRIVE, while i was a neet, that now that i'm older and more legitimate to slowly leave the nest it feels incredibly weird and bad to entrap myself more closely instead.

so i keep trying to give them the elements of what consequences this or that thing has on me, and letting them evaluate themselves what they value, and so far the result has been that they don't give a shit about making me suffer, and they're completely cool with watching me act like i'm coked up in public bc i'm in pain or about to jump out of my skin in fearful anticipation of the next meal. i can handle myself all day and literally just ramble a little under my breath when we're going home at 9pm because it helps with the pain, and they're like "WHAT NOW we say something and you start sighing, what the hell did we do wrong this time??" which i guess is their genuine answer to the situation so i got what i wanted, i didn't control their reactions, but i guess it's pretty disappointing anyway.

and i can't really tell them because hey, how is that conversation gonna go? mom, dad, living with you is unbearable, all of my life you've done nothing but hurt me despite your best loving intentions, and i honestly don't think we're ever gonna fully repair that. cheers. i can't fucking do that to them. i've been the worst child to deal with my entire life i can't do that i just have to hold on until i move out anyway. it itches SO BAD to hurt them to blame them to throw every nasty thing i've ever wanted to yell at them to push them down the stairs and run away in the middle of the night. but i can't because they've done their best. genuinely. i wouldn't have handled it better if i had to parent kid-me. i don't think there's any right answer to a situation like that. i just can't wait until i can live for myself and not for walking around eggshells being the normal kid my parents never got to have now that i can force myself to. it feels like i try my best to give them respect and foster a good mutually-trusting relationship with them, and they don't give back anything different in return. and i do think part of that is that i'm WAAAAAY too in my own head about it and i have massive "nobody is allowed in the kitchen when i'm there" syndrome except my entire existence is the kitchen and anything i do besides "staying the usual unshowered neet disappointment in my room" being seen by my parents feels to me like if walking around naked in public. like how people ask out as a joke, like HA you really believe you could be more than a depressed piece of shit, but you're really nothing more than a pathetic failure barely keeping up the mask of a normal person. and that is totally my responsability to deal with except idk seems like every time i step out it turns out to be a disaster. and the coming down is even harsher, having to turn back into some featureless zombie picking and choosing what interests are undisruptive and inoffensive enough for me to tell my parents about it. i havent even managed to try to get into a sport club because the thought of my parents knowing this and that about my schedule and knowing i do sports and what sports i do and perhaps asking about it just makes my skin crawl. and i can't be spending their money, and i don't have a job, so.

they wont leave me the hell alone, and i can't refuse else i just become defined by my avoidance of them. it's rotting in my bed without any of the recharging. i don't fucking want to eat dinner with them, but else WHAT DO I DO? the kitchen is upstairs, upstairs is where they are, especially during dinner time but also they can hear i'm there if they're awake at home. and i owe them to spend that time bonding w them since we never did, and it's pretty much the only time my mom is home. i don't want to go with them to random events i don't really care about, because they're unenjoyable anyway since they're followed by MORE proximity and shit, but i kinda have to because i owe them that after i was nothing but a fucking emotional leech for my entire life, and also if i don't go to these events with them i go NOWHERE, cf the problem with my parents seeing anything about me mentionned above.

you might notice i've been saying "they" the whole time, rest assured, i mean my mom, or the united parental authority driven by my mom. i barely even have a dad anyway, i have a guy who lives in the same house and comes when my mom calls family reunion time, but spends his entire time every day following his own intellectual pursuits while floating through every actualy physical situation he's in. he barely listens. he barely reacts. he's not stupid or wholly incompetent, he functions alone pretty well, but in most situations in life he just stands to the side and goes "damn" whenever anything would require a reaction. i'm not really sure he fully realizes (or cares) that his actions impact other people. it scares me to be like him. i know how similar i am to him, and i really really hope i don't end up hurting anyone by being like that.

[missacidburn928s-heathenhideaway]

LUNATIC Prologue

Banner by @cafekitsune Divider by @unowakot

Nyx, a fucked up, savage little sweetheart with a penchant for mayhem and draining abusive individuals of all their blood has found herself on the Avengers radar after she makes quite the mess of one Brock Rumlow, the waste of space who made the mistake of assaulting her best friend at her place of work. Granted that place of work is a sex club. But hey sex workers are still people and deserve to be treated with respect not used and abused, okay.

Really, it's a hot button topic for her and she tends to have a hair-trigger on her temper. Plus she looks really good in crimson, just ask Wade. How that Merc with a mouth became one of her ‘besties’ is beyond her. He found her slashing a man to shreds in an old warehouse one night and has followed her around like a lovesick puppy ever since. It was love at first bloodbath for him. 

She doesn't mind him much. She finds him quite funny actually. Plus who is she to judge, she works at a sex club for a living and quenches her blood-lust draining deplorable human beings. They oddly fit together, although try as he might Wade will never actually get in Nyx’ pants. She does allow him to feed his voyeuristic needs though, both of the flesh and blood. Sometimes even at the same time. 

She has that same Merc with a mouth to blame for her snagging the attention of the Avengers. He was hanging around the tower one night, you know checking in on the band of misfits and found himself asleep in one of Clint’s little nests in the vents. They're surprisingly comfy.  Upon waking up he made his way to the exit and happened to somehow fall through the ceiling onto the conference room table while the team was having a meeting. 

“Oh hey guys! Don’t mind me. I was just on my way out.” He says as he dusts himself off.

“Wade what on earth are you doing up there or even here at all for that matter? Don't you have your own hideout or something?” Nat grilled him. 

“Blame bird boy. His nests are comfy.” He shrugs. 

“Damn right they are.” Clint proclaimed. 

“Well we're gonna need ya to get the hell out of here. We have a mission to prep for.” Nat says. 

“Oh really! Who ya goin’ after this time?” Wade turns around to glance at the hologram projection. “Hey, that amount of carnage looks familiar. She really did a number on him. Wonder what he did to deserve it.” 

“She? Wade, do you know who is behind this?” Steve asks.

Knocked out of his daydreaming he answers the good Captain. “Well yeah. That’s my girl Nyx’ handy work. He must have been a truly horrible person for her to rip into him like that. That’s brutal. Even for her. Who’s the guy anyway?”

“Wait, you know this person in real life?” Bucky quanders.

“Mmmhmm. Hot little thing that gets off on blood and mayhem. She works at Sins. Kinda my bestie. I can introduce ya if you want. Even though I’m pretty sure she will maim me for it. She’s not really your biggest fan. Well if you exclude the Viking, Winter and Red of course.”

Nat and Thor smirk as Bucky just shakes his head. 

“You’re telling me that a woman did this and that you are ‘besties’ with her?” Steve, still unsure that a woman could possibly do this, inquires. 

“Righty O Captain Obvious. Do you want to meet her or not because I really should get going if that's not happening.” He climbs back onto the table.

“She works at Sins you say?” Tony pipes up with a grin on his face. “Yeah, even if they don't want to, I need to see this woman for myself. I know what caliber of women Sins employs. She’s got to be gorgeous. I’m curious about if or what she performs. Set it up Checkers.”

“Oooh this is gonna be fun! Meet me there tonight at 10. It’s Thursday so I believe electro play is on the table.” He looks at Thor who is smirking. “Figured you’d like that big guy. Well I’ve wasted enough time. I best be on my way.” And with that he exits the way he came in.

[imreallyloveleee]

ok i've finally started season 6 of better call saul (ahhhHHHHHH) so there's no better time than the present for me to vomit out all of my thoughts and feelings on this show thus far

first of all, i already want to start rewatching this show, like, right now, before i even finish it. unreal

my biggest complaint at this point is that i feel they lost the plot with Mike a bit in s5. his is a trickier needle to thread than jimmy's, i think - there's less daylight between parking attendant mike and stone cold fixer mike than there is between jimmy mcgill and saul goodman. but i'm just not convinced that this guy would agree to work for gus fring long-term. i guess we're supposed to believe that the guilt he feels, blaming himself for getting his son killed and depriving kaylee of a dad in the process, is SO overwhelming that he'll willingly do these terrible things so he can "pay her back" with this massive nest egg he plans to build up. but like...this is a conclusion i'm coming to by sitting here overthinking about it, not a conclusion that i feel is coming organically from the show. something just feels off. and i don't think it's intentional, i think they just missed the mark. that said, i liked his "bad choice road" speech to jimmy a lot at the end of the season.

speaking of kaylee, oh my god the scenes with her are goddamn annoying, and the scenes with her mom are even worse. i honestly feel bad for the woman, she's probably not even that bad of an actor but on a show overflowing with people at the absolute top of their game she really stands out as a weak link.

NACHITO 😭 i know he's not gonna make it out of here alive. poor guy. he just really loves his dad!!!!!!!!

Lalo is such a FANTASTIC addition tho. it's so hard to add a compelling character this late in the game but he's so charismatic he even makes me hate Hector Salamanca scenes like 80% less

I could have done with less Gus Fring on this show in general. he was incredible on BrBa, but he just...doesn't need to be fleshed out more? and he kind of isn't, he's just around a lot? idk, but i'll take this as an opportunity to share that one time i saw Giancarlo Esposito wearing a black cowboy hat and buying a package of raw chicken at Whole Foods in Austin TX like 9 years ago

ok now onto the lawyer-y side of things. in contrast to Mike's story, I think Jimmy/Saul's is pretty much pitch perfect. i believe his decisions, i believe his hesitations, i believe the push and pull.

(sidenote just remembered i also deeply hate the salamanca twins, always have always will, on BrBa they always felt like some lame reddit bro's idea of a "badass villain" they're just so flat and boring and i wish they weren't in this show either ugh)

anyway back to Jimmy - obviously, this show would not work whatsoever if Jimmy didn't work as a character, but it's still like, HOLY SHIT do they make him work. he's so tragic, you just KNOW that he could be better and you want him to be better and you know he wants to be better but: he can't. he won't. we know where this story is heading. and at his core he will always be this boy who really really really loved his big brother and never felt that love returned and never will and now i'm going to cry just thinking about the fucking scummy lawyer from breaking bad oh my goddddd

finally: kim. kim. KIM. having only watched 6x01 at this point - i feel like i've only barely scratched the surface on understanding who this character is. i don't know what to say, but i just rewatched this scene and it's maybe my favorite thing i've ever seen, with the exception of like 8 other kim scenes (most of which consist of her dressing down an idiot man, her boyfriend included)

JIMMY AND KIM FOREVER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and if you're wondering if i'm having Fic Thoughts, the answer is yes, yes i am

p.s. i've been listening to some of the insider podcast episodes and my GOD what a breath of fresh air to listen to peter gould and vince gilligan after being an unwilling prisoner of roberto aguirre sacasa for 7 goddamn years

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Dragon Reborn! Chapter 18: Healing

It's been awhile but you still know the drill, don't you? Don't read this if you haven't read the entirety of The Wheel of Time, including the prequel novel, the comics, all interviews with the cast and crew of the show, the New Testament, the Frank Herbert Dune novels, the Mahabharata, and the Big Book of Awful Art or whatever we're calling it now.

Don't lie. You haven't read all of the stuff on that list.

This chapter begins with a heron-marked sword because Mat's having a past life flashback, I guess???

The Black Ajah had struck at those storerooms. And if some of the Black Ajah were lying in wait in one of those dark side corridors, if Sheriam were leading them not to Mat, but to. . . .

Egwene's being a bit paranoid here (who can blame her after the Seanchan?). After one obvious attack failed, the Black needs a little more time to get another one going.

“Do not think of it,” Sheriam said, and for once she sounded like the Sheriam of old, kindly if firm. “The Black Ajah will not be your worry for years to come. You have what the rest of us do not: time before you must deal with it. Much time, yet. When we enter, stay against the wall and keep silent. You are allowed here as a benevolence, to attend, not to distract or interfere.”

Sheriam of course doesn't want any of her charges thinking about the BA unless she's recruiting them.

The Amyrlin Seat stood at Mat’s head, and Leane at his feet. Four Aes Sedai stood down one side of the table, and three down the other. Sheriam joined the three.

So that's ten total. I'm surprised they're not pulling out thirteen under the circumstances.

Despite the outward calm of the women around the table, Egwene thought she saw signs of uncertainty. A tightness to Anaiya’s mouth. A slight frown on Alanna’s darkly beautiful face. The cool-eyed woman kept smoothing her pale blue dress over her thighs without seeming to realize what she was doing.

Egwene's ability to read the body language of the very controlled Aes Sedai is a nice bit of setting up for her being in charge.

From its nest in the red silk lining, the Amyrlin took out a white, fluted wand the length of her forearm. It could have been bone, or ivory, but was neither. No one alive knew what it was made of.

Probably not plastic, considering the AoL's general vibes.

Egwene fought the urge to open herself to saidar and add her flow to the tide. It was a pull so strong she was about to be jerked off her feet. Elayne tightened her hold on her hand. Nynaeve took a step toward the table, then stopped with an angry shake of her head.

Mat's lucky none of the girls joined in and promptly got him killed.

She paused as if she had just heard her own words—that she could channel half of what ten full Aes Sedai did with a sa’angreal—and her voice grew even fainter. “Light help me, I want to.”

And she will and it will be amazing and also really horrible!

That much, she knew; but in some way it seemed for a moment that she should understand the rest, too, as if the meaning were just out of sight, and all she had to do was turn her head to know.

While this is probably just explicitly supposed to be about Egwene having plenty of the Old Blood like Mat, I do think part of it is the likelihood of her having been the Queen of Manetheren in a former life as well.

Anaiya bent again for a set of tongs such as a goodwife might use in her kitchen, and grasped the floating dagger in them as carefully as if it were a poisonous snake.

Poisonous snakes are much less dangerous if you think about it.

“Only time will tell. Carrying something with Shadar Logoth’s taint for so long . . . who knows what effect it will have on him? Perhaps none, perhaps much. We will see. But the bond with the dagger is broken. Now he needs rest, and as much food as can be gotten into him. He should live.”

I think the effect is relatively minor (because Mat's lucky): merely the holes in his memories that he will report. However, Mat being ta'veren means he'll get quite a bit more out of the experience than someone else might have.

“For a time,” she said finally, “I believe the past and the present were one. He was there, and he was here, and he knew who we were. He commanded us to release him.” She paused again. “ ‘I am a free man, Aes Sedai. I am no Aes Sedai meat.’ That is what he said.”

I suspect this is an immediate effect of the holes in his memory forming. He was so close to death (and Old Blood besides) that he was more connected to past lives than the living usually are and so while he stayed on the threshold older memories could come rushing in to temporarily fill the gaps. Possibly this affects his later power development, possibly not; I'm so far into headcanon that it's not worth saying one way or the other.

“Mother,” Egwene asked anxiously, “could we not stay with Mat? If he may still die. . . .”

I just want to highlight this to again show that the Egwene hatedom is a little overstated. She's definitely got flaws, but she's the one who seems to be most worried about Mat at this particular moment.

Anyway, next time: Mat gets a POV of his own!

[a-student-out-of-time]

So Harumi is wanting to swing by someone. Hopefully she isn’t hitting the hornet’s nest beyond schedule.

*Meanwhile, elsewhere in the hotel*

(Time? Who on earth would be calling me out here at this hour?)

Ah well, I'm here.

*Emina looks around at an empty hallway, with a small area leading to elevators*

Hello? You can come out now. If you have a business deal you want to discuss, you'd better tell me.

...

Did I seriously get pranked? Ugh!

???: What? I thought you'd be used to it by now.

Huh?

Doesn't it bring you back?

They were fun, weren't they?

Maybe you girls went a little far with it sometimes, but at least you never did any serious damage.

Unlike someone here...

You three?! What on Earth did you drag me out here for?!

Hmm...only three of you? What happened to your cherry-flavored ringleader?

Don't worry about it. Right now, this is between us.

What, are you planning on jumping me and stealing all I have on my person?

We're here for your protection. After what you did, I can't say I blame Haru...

What I did? Invite you to my event, where you can enjoy even some minor praise from high society? Lord knows the three of you miscreants need it.

You must think you're so smart, don't you, Emina-chan?

I admit, you had me fooled for a long time. I was sure I wasn't good enough to attend Hope's Peak, that they didn't consider me talented and that really got to me, even when it shouldn't have. I really thought that I had no talent.

What a stupid thing to think.

Tch. There's no shame in admitting that you failed to measure up to your betters, you know?

They are if they're not my better.

Oh, Nanami Harumi...what a sad life you must live. So jealous of someone who managed to do better than you, just like every other underachiever.

Keep her going, let's see how deep she can make this hole.

What?

Emina-san...

I know what you did. I know you're the reason I never got in.

...

[leatherbookmark]

fuck or die/sex pollen, Very Specific This Is Almost Definitely The Writer's Job/Hobby AU, Magical Creachure AU

wow, anon! those are Just the tropes i wanted to talk about! it's almost as if you were me, sending this ask to myself for this exact purpose! amazing. anyway

fuck or die/sex pollen: are technically different things but i will put them together and give them an A because they're the one trope that i actually Have In The Past combed ao3 for. lol. i don't know! i don't know. usually characters losing the control over their autonomy, bodies and so on kinda bug me, and while in a certain state i can accept a/b/o, when i try to think about the Social Circumstances of everyone being aware you're in horny town/about to enter horny town/submissive and breedable/etc for more than five seconds i go insane, but. there's SOMETHING about fuck or die and sex pollen that just *clenches fist* gets me.

i haven't read many fics where the characters forced to fuck are total not even a little sexually attracted to each other*; mostly it's been ships i was interested in, and while obviously for the characters involved it's probably hell, there's often this moment of... idk, assurance that neither part is using the other? the mind-blowing sex we're about to have is 100% medicinal/situational, i am doing this 100% respectfully...!

*hold up. i have. IT WAS NIECEST. i think some guys have captured them and forced them to fuck or else, and it was hoooorrible for them both because they were NOT miserably in forbidden love with each other in this scenario. 🥰🥰🥰

except. EXCEPT. there's also the Angst Potential (which i hope to squeeze as much as in can when i get to it 😬). the "i want him to rail me into next tuesday, but of course he would never...! and yet here he is, forced to rail me into next tuesday to save my life! how horrible! i am staining his pristine body with my filthy, cursed, and horny body...! ah! what horror. what utter bliss". as well as the top version of it, aka the "ah! he would never! but here i am, having to--" etc. but ALSO the, uh, spoiler alert, "i would love to be somewhere else. instead i am railing this person, who is very dear to me in a way i can't yet explain due to reasons etc, into next tuesday. they seem into it. no, it's the curse. but they seem really into it. no, i'm victim-blaming. they would never. not that it's bad. but--"

like. Wa Hoo! nice 👍

Very Specific This Is Almost Definitely The Writer's Job/Hobby AU: fucks like a rabid rhino even in cases where i have no idea what any of those terms mean. i want to get IMMERSED! give me those DETAILS you funky little author! YEAS. A

Magical Creachure AU: AH YOU SEE. depends on everything including the creachure.

like, say, one of them is a mermaid (gender neutral). i just got reminded of a rinharu mermaid fic that i was crazy about back in the times. anyway! there's... the list of things that happen in a mermaid au is pretty predictable, i think? dude finds a mermaid, they either meet on the beach or the mermaid is injured and needs help --> into the bathtub you go; the mermaid learns about human stuff and the human learns about mermaid stuff, insert conflict either down there or up there, sex? and then A SOLUTION, which often is "the mermaid stays on land due to Love". it can be done well! and it can be done not well. it really depends!

paradoxically, i don't really like it when the creature character is too much like an animal and too little like a human. does this make sense? for example, when they eat their human's pet, don't know much about Emotions, talk about Nesting and Mating rather than, idk, finding someone to fuck... that's. that's kind of like an animal that can talk, i feel? not exactly my cup of tea, so to speak. i'd much prefer if there was some other Culture under the sea, with existing traditions and such, but a culture nonetheless. something like "i caught you this big huge fish in broad daylight because i want you to be my mate forever!" vs "oh yeah, well, when we like someone we bring them stuff, mostly good food but cool stuff from the surface is a hit too. you do that too...? ah, figures. shit listen can i bring you a hugeass fish because i don't really have cash money"

When There Are Vampires/Werewolves: i have this sad disease called "i don't really care about vampires/werewolves and i don't think blood sucking is sexy" :(

When One Of Them Can Turn Into Some Animal: yknow what. yeah. yeah that's good stuff (i bet you're all surprised). this is good. there's Human Them, and then there's Animal Them, and they both need different things, and their beloved wants to give it to them. what's cooler than a little guy chilling in the coils of a huge fuckass dragon, who is his loving boyfriend? probably that dragon boyfriend killing some annoying people for him! what's cooler than a guy cuddling a bighuge wolf who's (you guessed it!) their boyfriend who has a bad brain day and just needs to be dog for a bit. what's cooler than lan xichen holding a little bird a-yao in his hands, gently, so gently that not a feather on a-yao's person is ruffled, ready to hide him from the world, ready to kill for this tiny ball of feathers, each smaller than his little fin--hi? no i did not drop any names, you're just imagining things. anyway. S

[outoutdamnspark]

💓 💤 🧸💬 for Reina and Hina??

For the ask meme here~

💓 - What are some signs they’ve fallen for someone? How do they show their affection?

Hina💋

Hina is a very bright and bubbly person, but she doesn't actually like to touch people unless she likes them - so a good way to tell she's developed feelings is if she begins initiating physical contact. It'll start with little touches on the shoulder or arm, boops, gentle pokes, bumping her shoulder against yours; then it'll transition into her grabbing at your arm and hugging it or hanging off it, leaning against you, putting her chin on your shoulder. After that will be her full on hugging you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders or waist, grabbing at your hand and swinging it around, and finally, just full on draping herself across your lap.

Her love languages are physical affection and words of affirmation, so watch for an increase of compliments while she's got your arm held hostage and she might just be crushing on you.

Reina🌸

Reina obviously has a history with food, having gone hungry so many times in her life, so she already tries to show her trust and affection for those she cares about through food. She likes to make sure her favorite people have enough to eat, and that they're looking after themselves - which gets cranked up to 11 if she starts to fall for you.

It'll go from the usual check up to make sure you've eaten and had water, offering you snacks, bringing you something for lunch, pretty typical Mom Friend behavior. However, it's when she starts making you full-on meals or bringing you tupperware containers full of enough food to be your lunch and dinner two days in a row that you know she's got a crush, even if she doesn't know it yet, herself. She also doesn't actually bake as often as you'd expect for someone that likes to cook, so once she brings you homemade cinnamon buns along with your favorite coffee order, that's your cue to ask her out.

-

💤 - What do they absolutely need to have to fall asleep?

Hina💋

Hina's a cuddler; whether it be a plushie, a pillow, a pokemon, or a partner, she needs something/someone to cling to. She also needs there to be some kind of light source; in present day, she'll use one of those simple, weak nightlights that just plugs straight into the wall socket. (It's usually pink and glittery.) In Hisui she keeps a small oil lamp burning nearby, turned down super low and far enough that she won't roll over and knock into it by accident. She hates the dark.

Reina🌸

Reina's never had much of a chance to realize it, but she's a cuddler, too. She unconsciously curls around her pillow or one of her pokemon (usually her leafeon, Chamomile) during her time alone, due to just how utterly touch-starved she is. With a partner, though, or even just someone she trusts enough to fall asleep around, she wraps her whole body around them. We're talking arms around your middle, head in the crook of your shoulder, legs tangled up with yours, making sad little sounds if you try to move her, the whole nine yards. She also has the best sleep of her life when she finally gets to experience this.

Something else she doesn't realize she needs is some kind of white noise. Reina for the longest time thinks she needs complete silence to fall and stay asleep, but in reality that's what keeps her up half the time, and is pretty much entirely to blame for her consistently terrible sleep once she does pass out. The times she falls asleep with The Kids on the Bridge or Rawst's streams a video playing in the background are some of the most restful she gets. The sound of her pokemon purring or chirping, or her partner's heartbeat or even just them breathing is enough to send her into blissfully dreamless, deep sleep.

-

🧸 - Do they have any stuffed animals? If so, are they decorative or do they sleep with them?

Hina💋

Hina is a plushie fiend. Like the cat pokemon that make up her team, she likes being cozy and thus she has constructed herself a plushie nest~ Mostly they're all of cat/cat-like pokemon, with the ones representing her team being the most beloved. (Kantoan Meowth, Abra, Purugly, Meowstic, Galarian Meowth, Mimikyu, and Espurr.) In Hisui, she only has a small group of handmade stuffed toys, either bought in Jubilfe or made by Kana as birthday gifts.

(She managed to bring those specific ones with her when she and Kana and Dorian all got sent back to present day. They sit on a special place on one of her shelves, keeping watchful eyes on her while she sleeps.)

Reina🌸

Reina sadly, doesn't own any stuffed animals. She likes them, and would probably cry if someone gave her one, but they were never something she felt she could justify spending precious food money on, and they were usually too big to shoplift when she had to resort to it. After finally getting settled down in Nimbasa, it takes her a long time to even finish furnishing her apartment, so buying plushies doesn't even really cross her mind as an option.

If she ever winds up with any, she'll probably give them a place of honor next to her pillow - and then proceed to snuggle it to death in her sleep.

-

💬 - What are some filler/buffer words they use? (Like, um, etc.)

Hina💋

Hina uses "like" the most often, though she's been known to use the occasional long, drawn out, "uhhhhhh" if she's thinking or just stunned. If she's deliberately being cute, she'll switch to Kantoan and use "etoooooo" in place of "uhm" - usually paired with a finger pressed to her chin.

Reina🌸

Short "um's" and "uh's" are Reina's filler words of choice. Like Hina, she'll also use "eto" if she's thinking, which is usually when she slips back into Kantoan - though unlike Hina, it's an unconscious thing.

(Reina actually tends to use almost exclusively Kantoan when she's alone or when she's tired/thinking/can't find the words she wants in Galarian, and half the time she'll be switching from one language to another in her head, because 90% of her thinking is done in Kantoan and she has to translate before she speaks. So there's a lot of filler used if you don't give her a second to switch gears.)

[the-firebird69]

Corey Feldman at Spookala In Ocala Florida singing Cry Little Sister fr...

It's a very significant song from a very meaningful movie which hasn't happened yet. The singer is actually in the movie and sings the song at the carnival and it is insanity they are very famous after this movie we're here it's two famous and said to have done something to make Daddy and he's the suspected of being part of the max at that point any admits it would be a problem and since like that and he is in trouble for his crimes and the singer is not to blame or even Justin who was along and the others because Utah was there muto and the bridge and the rail is radiated and it didn't replace it and it went out there a few times to get sick and hanging from it and they felt charged and euphoric and he's like he's a slight mutant and fell to his death and his revived but he was kind of stupid after and they do go to Oregon after and remove the frontal lobe and switch them out and he becomes very angry and cranky after he says you just let him do what he wanted this is this right by the idiots he said that's why he did it and we let him okay we encourage them and these idiots were doing it and they're wondering why and then they heard this why don't you fight someone you can't stop like we can stop you even with his class from Harming us and from harassing us and killing us when you want it and that's ridiculous other races feel the same and you're gross and they're really actually angry and they said it you have to do something or is it going to do what they want and take things and we can't let you kidnap them and it starts a big fight and it takes place after Oregon and one flew of the cuckoo's nest

Hera

Zues

Olympus

These are all very pertinent things but this is a very big deal it's so big she forgot about the wine that he and she are making it their company and he's drinking it and they're drinking it and it's very good wine and it's aged artificially that's what we said but it is very good wine and they looked at the bottle and how it was corked and said I think this is actually old and he said you're drinking the first bottle is it from when and it was 3,000 years ago it's our brand and he's going who are you people you know that I can go there there you go I don't care for this s*** and it was very good wine and the other strengths haven't said it's ridiculous and it's a big seller after and the bottles are old and we can age it we know how but these are actually old is extremely important it does mention them

Thor Freya

[david-watts]

oh and yes. there are mice about. hopefully not within the actual house but just under it and coming inside occasionally

[dean-winchesters-gardian-angel]

The Same bed - Chapter 4

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: Friends are there to help each other out, but can they help falling for each other when all the long days they spend together turn into late nights they have and their reliance on each other.

Word count: 2544

Warnings: Fluff, angst, description of blood and injuries, nightmares, slow burn.

A/N: Chapter 4! Off we go. Read it enjoy and I’ll see you on the other side. There’s also a tag list, so be sure to tell me if you want in, as well as a masterlist so be sure to check it out. As are the latests, Unbeta’d all mistakes are mine.

Series masterlist 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean didn't sleep that night, too busy cursing himself for hurting Y/N and simultaneously afraid he may have a nightmare. He had gotten up several times with the intention of going to her room and seeking forgiveness if she'd give it to him, though he wouldn't blame her if she refused. Instead, he'd pace around his room or make it as far as her door before heading to the bathroom to wash his face rather than knocking.

The next night Dean had been too exhausted to stay awake, now accustomed to getting around 8 hours he passed out some time just after 2 in the morning while everyone else slept soundly. Dean managed to get just over an hour of shut-eye before waking up to one of his worst nightmares. He jolted up with a scream though quickly cut himself off as to not wake anyone. Nevertheless, he was half a scream too late as Y/N sat up in her own bed wanting to go check on him but refused due to her own stubbornness.

Dean mumbled a 'son of bitch' before getting up and making his way to the kitchen to get started on some coffee. Dean was given about 2 hours to contemplate his idiocy towards Y/N before his brother found his way to the kitchen.

"Dean?"

"Huh? Hey, morning."

"Man, you look like trash."

"Oh, thanks you're not so bad yourself in the shorts." Sam looked to his running shorts before rolling his eyes.

"You always did give me a hard time for wanting to stay in shape."

"Hunting keeps you in shape, not some little jaunt you do every morning. Hey, speaking of, have you found any new cases seems like forever since we've killed a deserving asshat."

"I've been talking to Jody and Donna, they've got a lead on a vamp nest, said they're heading out in two days and we're more than welcome to tag along."

"So, tomorrow. What time."

"They wanted to hit it just after sundown. So, we would leave tomorrow morning if you're interested."

"Oh, I'm interested, give me some' to kill."

"Dean are you sure you're okay. You usually become self-destructive when you've got something going on, something you need to talk about."

"I'm fine, Sammy."

"I'd mention that Y/N isn't sleeping in your room anymore, but I think that'd just make you mad considering that's probably what's bothering you."

"So much for not mentioning it." Dean swallowed what was left in his coffee cup before washing it and setting it in the dry rack. He made his way back to his room hoping his brother would take the hint and leave for his run, which he did. Once he heard the bunker door shut Dean went back to the kitchen to have another cup of coffee. As he sat down the sound of footsteps padding down the hall alerting him that Y/N had awoken. Dean straightened his posture as she entered the kitchen making her way to the cabinet to fish out a mug without making eye contact.

"Morning Y/N."

"Oh my god! It speaks." She filled her mug before walking out having not looked him in the eyes once. Dean rested his chin in his palm kicking himself for having hurt her. After a deep sigh, he dragged his palm over his face closing his eyes momentarily allowing them some rest from the lights of the bunker. Dean strolled his way to Y/N's room and knocked on her door. He heard her sniffle some before the door swung open, Y/N standing in front of him, eyebrows raised clearly on her last nerve.

"I just wanted to let you know we've got a case tomorrow, with Jody and Donna, we've got to leave early-ish so, you know, you might want to pack today so you're not rushing. Anyway, just keeping you in the loop." Y/N looked at her best friend whose eyes were tired, red, and glossy, staring at the ground in front of him. She missed him, but she didn't know why he was angry at her.

"Thanks." She turned away from him intent on closing her door to block the view of the broken man she so deeply cared about and wanted to help, and he spoke.

"Y/N."

"Yeah?" Dean swallowed trying to think of what he wanted to say to her but came up with nothing. There wasn't anything specific he wanted to tell her in that moment he just wanted to be with her. In the same room sitting next to her, looking at her. He wanted to spend time with his best friend whom he had been missing lately but if there was one person more stubborn than Y/N it was Dean.

"Nothing...nothing." With a sad smile and a sigh, Dean walked to his own room with the aim of avoiding her, once again, all day.

Dean listens as Y/N played her music in her room and smiled when the Grease love song came though it wasn't given a chance to finish before Y/N skipped it. He could hear his brother and Y/N talking in the library during the day occasionally finding something funny as they giggled in unison. He missed having her, missed being the one laughing with her, or even just talking with her.

Nearing the end of the day, Dean made his way out of his room for the first time that to grab a snack before trying his hand at some forty winks, wanting to be rested up before their hunt tomorrow. The energy of the room sizzled to nothing as he entered the kitchen. Sammy and Y/N were sitting next to each other looking at pictures of haircuts on the internet.

"Seriously Sam, I've been cutting my own hair my whole life. Just let me add a little shape to it. A little trim here and there I can make you look like the handsome devil you really are."

"I'm not letting you cut my hair. I don't trust you not to just cut it all off. Besides, I don't—" Both their eyes looked up to Dean as he stood in the doorway observing their interaction. Once he noticed their gaze he moved to the counter, pulling a bowl from the cupboard and reaching for the box of cereal.

"Sam and I made pasta if you're hungry for real food." Dean looked over the noodles as his tummy growled, licking his lips.

"Dean, just have some, we're not gonna finish it. It'll just end up going to waste." He hesitantly looked over his shoulder forcing a smile to Y/N who had the smallest one of her on her face. She watched him as he traded his bowl for a plate. Dean plated himself some of the homemade food before Y/N gestured at the spot in front of herself and Sam along with the parmesan on the table. Dean took a seat not wanting to be impolite more so than he'd already been.

"Anyway, I'm trying to convince Sam to let me trim his hair."

"You're not touching my hair with a ten-foot pole."

"Oh, come on Sam it grows back. You'll see, it'll look really good and you won't even want to grow it back. Won't be in your eyes anymore, won't distract you during hunts, monsters won't be able to grab at it. You know I make a good case."

"Sure. But you're still not cutting my hair." Meanwhile, Dean was silently moaning at the flavours on his plate. Y/N watched as the eldest closed his eyes savouring the taste, before he spoke, displaying his voice to them for the first time since the early morning.

"This is kind of amazing. I don't think I've ever had spaghetti this amazing. What jar did you guys use?" Referring to the sauce that had his taste buds dancing on his tongue.

"Actually, Y/N made the sauce."

"My mum used to make these gigantic pots of spaghetti sauce and freeze it so we could have it whenever we want. I was missing it, so I made some from memory. It's not hers but I think it turned out alright. I know I missed something, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was." Dean looked up, his mouth full, to the women speaking, no longer focusing on him rather in her head desperately searching for the missing ingredient, as he swallowed.

"You made the sauce? From scratch?"

"Uh-huh. Yeah, I mean it's not really that hard just time consuming, you have to let it simmer for a little bit, but I think it's worth it. Once in a while at least."

"You mind if I have more?"

"Go right ahead. Sam and I both already had seconds." Dean finished what was left and helped himself to more before moving back to his spot at the table.

"Sam promised to make me the 'Winchester Surprise' one day? Said you used to make it for him." Sam looked to his brother who reminisced, thinking back to the worst meals he had prepared for his baby brother.

"It was terrible. Sam that's — to repay her for this. Seriously Y/N you won't want to eat anything we make for the rest of your life. It was god awful."

"As much as I believe you because I do, by the description, Sam gave me, oh boy, I'll still be the judge of that." Dean chuckled at her retort missing her effortless comebacks and modesty when it came to the things she was good at, though he found it frustrating when she didn't accept the compliment he'd give her. He wanted her to brag about how many Djinns she could kill in a week, or in this case how good the sauce was instead of saying it wasn't perfect, so he'd done it for her, telling his brother when she would do something 'awesome', as he'd put it, that made him feel proud to call himself her friend. The guilt he felt was sudden and overwhelming. Even after he'd gone days without speaking to her, after pushing her away so abruptly, she was still offering him dinner, the conversation, the casual smile, the eye contact. How he longed for her eye contact. She had always been able to communicate with him with her eyes. He craved her gaze, how her orbs would sparkle when she was happy or grow dark when hooded with anger. But the thing he loved the most about her eyes was the fact that when they looked into his, it was like nothing else mattered. He could see he had her attention, and he wouldn't want to look away.

"I'm—ehem— I'm heading to bed, didn't sleep well last night, gonna try to rest up before our hunt tomorrow." Dean looked to Y/N who had a saddened look on her face, clearly angry and confused as to why Dean wouldn't let her help him. When he noticed the look on her face, he realized his words and quickly made up an excuse for why he couldn't sleep hoping to ease Y/Ns mind indirectly.

"Maybe it was a full moon, could never sleep well during a full moon."

"Full moon was last week Dean." Y/N answered him with an unreadable expression along with it. He didn't respond in an effort to save what dignity he had left. He forced a smile in Y/Ns direction as he passed by, once he'd finished cleaning his dishes.

"You mind telling me what's going on between the two of you Y/N?"

"Honestly Sam I haven't got the slightest."

"I know you two were sharing a bed... was that like—"

"If you're suggesting that we were a thing then no. He slept better when there was someone in the room with him, so I was that someone. Then out of the blue, he got distant and said he didn't need me anymore so." She shrugged not sure how to further explain their recent exchanges. "I know he's not through with the nightmares though because I heard his screams last night. I didn't check on him 'cause I was angry at him saying they were done, and he didn't need me anymore, but it was petty. I wanted him to stew in his nightmare, remember how bad they were before I told him I'd stay. I just don't understand him, I didn't do anything to warrant his actions. I haven't bothered asking why he's mad at me and even if I did, he'd just ignore me some more so what's the point. He's being a child. He's acting like I killed his brother when really all I'm trying to do is cut his hair." Her joke succeeded in lightening the mood as Sam chuckled moving to the sink to clean off his plate.

"You're a good influence on him, you know?"

"Why's that."

"Well for starters, he washed his plate."

"Oh yeah, I yelled at him this one time for leaving a mess, which I'm pretty sure was actually mine from the night before, but he hasn't left dirty dishes since so I guess it all worked out." Sam outright laughed at that before excusing himself to prepare for bedtime.

By the time 8 o'clock rolled around the bunker was silent, everyone in their respective bedrooms reading or watching a little telly before getting some rest. Due to the lack of sleep the nights prior and the upcoming hunt, Dean closed his eyes tight willing the nightmares away as he gripped his sheets. It didn't take him long to doze off though and it didn't last long before he was startled awake by Y/Ns voice. "Dean! Wake up!" She looked terrified, holding Dean down by his shoulders. "You idiot. Get up."

"Y/N? Why? What's—" She dragged him out of bed to the bathroom.

"Look at your hand Dean." She could hear the anger in her voice frustrated with him for refusing her help. The help they both knew would work. Dean looked down at the palm she hadn't grasped as she marched him down the hall like a child in trouble. It was bleeding, trailing down his fingers, shards of dark glass still imbedded in the tender skin of his palm.

"How did—" It came out as a whisper, laced with sleep as he did his best to orientate himself. Y/N turned on the light in the bathroom before forcibly sitting him on the lid of the toilet.

"You must have grabbed the beer bottle on your nightstand in your sleep." Y/N had pulled out the first aid kit they had stored under the sink along with a pair of tweezers, kneeling in front of the older Winchester.

"Y/N you don't have to—"

"I swear Dean if you tell me you don't need my help one more time I swear," she looked up from his palm to glare at him, "I’m going to tie you down until you get past... what ever this is." She didn't break eye contact with him until he nodded, shamefully looking down at the injury he only now started to feel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 5 ~~ Out now!

Tag List: @akshi8278​ @bargedog @just-someone-difficult​ @mila-dans​ @valhallavxlkyrie​

Series Tags: @autobotgirl15-blog​ @classyunknownlover​ @laycblack​ @lovememisha​ @music-is-all-i-need​ @redbarn1995​ @wellfuckmyexistence​

[ruffsraven-writes]

Through the Odds | F.W. (The Hunger Games AU)

Based upon: The Harry Potter and The Hunger Games series

Pairing: Fred Weasley x OC (Autumn Rivers)

Era: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

POV: 1st person

WC: 1.6k

CHAPTER 2

“Hey, hey!” I snapped my fingers between his eyes. That's the only thing that I could do to keep him from plunging into a thought of nothingness.

“Right. Yeah. I'm sorry. Where were we?” he says, a trace of his previous screaming wounded his normal voice.

“About skinning the rabbit,” I say. “You could starve in hunger in no time. This place could be desolate to the untrained.”

It took seconds before his hand enclosed the knife and grasped the rabbit between his hands. I saw the wince in his eyes. Wherever he came from, the people there are not starving enough to kill creatures as much as rabbits.

I set up the snares, half-doubting if I could leave that boy alone in the camp without being killed. I decided he could.

I didn't even know his name. Maybe I was too cruel a while ago that I didn't handle his shock properly. His agonized scream and the way he was still holding that stick of his like it could save his life. 

Wisps of smoke met me as I journeyed back to our camp. Perfectly-skinned rabbits are laid above the fire, their juices making the coals hiss.

I sprinted back to the camp and stomped my boots on the coal, digging it on my heels as it died down the soil. I placed the cooked—almost burned—food aside and turned to him.

“Best way to get killed. If you want to, don't count me in.”

He realized what I'm talking about and began to apologize. He might be ruminating now how it would be different if I'm not the one who found him. Not surly, harsh, or indifferent.

“This arena is lethal, I'm just reminding you.”

“I know.”

This icy conversation is turning way more awkward on a silent night. I should remember that he came out of nowhere. No knowledge of Panem or the Games. He's not to be blamed for unconsciously putting a snare against him—or us, if he could endure me as an ally.

Why am I keeping him alive anyway? He's now playing as a fellow tribute. An enemy. Something to weed out of my path.

“I'll get you water.”

I left and made a mental note to ask his name when I came back. 

“Fred, I'll keep watch first. Here, take the sleeping bag and climb.” I tell him.

The sky was a deep black that signifies an evening of uncertainties. What all I had in mind is getting through with this until morning.

Fred settled on the branch lower where I'll keep watch, considering that his stature won't allow him on those fragile branches.

I positioned myself on a tree branch, watchful as my vision struggled to the dim.

Silence engulfed me like everything around me was lifeless, not even the rustle of leaves. So I strike up a conversation.

“I'm still clueless how possibly you end up here.”

He gave a hollow chuckle. “Neither do I. It's like falling in a dangerous portal of some sort. I would've asked you to shake me awake but everything's real enough to make me doubt.”

He paused for a moment, “Will I survive this?”

Words escaped me. I couldn't just tell him that he won't and I might be planning to get rid of him.

I pretend to be sleepy and yawn. “Just stay alive.”

“Want me to keep watch?” he asks. “I mean, I don't particularly know who to watch for but I'll inform you if something's off.”

“No,” I say. “I want you to keep talking. Just be quieter.”

He did. And I discovered that Panem was nothing like where he came from. At first, I thought we're nothing alike, not until he mentioned his brother. We exchanged conversations in hushed tones.

“I already miss home. It's not much of a thrill pranking people around but I'd like to tell them I've been here and seen worse.”

He tried to laugh or add humor in his voice. If a good laugh can help him cope up, who am I to ruin it?

“Speaking of worse,” I say, forcing a facetious tone. A silver parachute descended from where I sat and I grabbed it, knowing it came from the sponsors. Inside is a small can filled with ointment for burns and a letter from Haymitch. “Worse time to deliver this don't you think?”

Fred smiles and says, “You can use this to apply that.” He tapped that useless eyeglasses perched on his nose.

Taking my silence as confusion, he adds, “It lets you see in darkness. I've seen this in joke shops before. 'M glad this isn't a sham.”

“Why didn't you tell me earlier?” I laughed before snatching it from him. He's right. I can see perfectly like it's daylight.

“Dunno. I guess I'm scared because you could've eaten me alive earlier.”

“Sorry,” I say. “For how I acted. It's awful.”

“Don't mind it. I'm used to being scolded.”

We took turns using the night glasses and he continued talking while I dab generous amount of ointment across my burns. I let the coolness of night help the ointment seep through my skin. The ointment worked effectively that I couldn't help but think what convincing Haymitch did to give me this.

“I could've helped you heal those in a minute if I knew the right spell.”

Yes, magic spells. To levitate, yes. To conjure stuff, yes. To attack, very befitting. But to get us out of the arena? No. He told me he tried to apparate but the arena seems to condemn his magic.

He's still fiddling the wand between his fingers when I say, “Do you know how to perform a killing spell?”

“W-What?” His voice apprise horror like I've said something that could harm him.

The wand faltered from his hand and I found myself grasping for it in thin air with him. Too desperate. That wand could mean more than anything. 

“I'll get it,” he says.

“No, let me do it. ”

He's still lacking stealth and strategy. The moment his feet touch the ground, every creature would stir.

I secure my foothold on the branch where he's sitting on, prepared for a jump until his huge hands locked around my ankles.

“Autumn, stop!” he hisses and put a finger over his lips. My instinct told me to twist away from him but the loud scream resonating below us thwarts my impulsive actions.

More screams. Fred pulled me to his level. Arms circled around me as if he knew I'd jump at any moment.

I first saw the dying ember near the bushes before the screaming figure right beside it. A tribute.

One of the Careers, Glimmer, shot her in the throat. Her screaming ceased and the canon fired.

As if from a trance, I jolt involuntarily. Fred's body tensed, his hands around me felt rigid and mechanic. With his eyes wide, tiny blinks interrupting, shock and fear overlapped. The dying tribute's bloody corpse mirrored in his eyes and having the night glasses allow me to see deeper in the silent agony he must be experiencing right now. Stable reasoning stalled my emotions before I could throw my hands around his neck and hold him there and never let go. He has my brother's eyes.

A beautiful shade of brown, the color of warm earth, and the pigment of woods. It reminds me of home. And I might've been underestimated how clear this stupid glasses can be.

“Pathetic. Her stupid voice's still ringing on my ears,” Glimmer says as the hovercraft lifted the corpse. The others start restoring the fire she left and make a camp below us. Fred's fingers gave a slight tremble against my shoulder.

“Fred, come on, we have to go,” I say, squeezing his cold hands to life. “Fred!”

He didn't protest and listen to the plan I fabricated when the tribute got killed in front of our eyes.

Wait till they're asleep. Retreat noiselessly. The other has to distract, the other to kill.

From the beginning, I know it's ridiculous. Fred doesn't know well enough to distract them nor he could kill them without being reluctant.

Forget the plan. Fred escapes, and I'll kill. If I'd be dead by morning, I want him to stay alive until some shred of hope materialized and he could go back to his brother.

He has to go. He doesn't belong here. Not in this murderous place.

“Your spear was right there.” He points down the slender thing leaning by the tree and adds, “Do you want me to get their weapons?”

“No,” I say. “Wouldn't let you risk it. Just descend quietly. Don't let them notice you. Go to the woods and conceal yourself. Whatever happens, don't let them see you. Whatever happens. Alright?”

“Yes.” He wraps the jacket around himself and says, “You'll follow suit, won't you? I'll wait for you, Autumn.”

“Of course.”

Faint sunlight edges around the arena and sleep is almost impossible. The Careers hadn't seen us and now's the chance to perform the plan. Fred braces himself in each tree trunk, gripping hard and avoiding any sort of noise. In no time, he's on the ground, finally found his wand, and scurrying away with a last glimpse of me as if to say goodbye.

I ascend higher till a whistling perked my ears. My gazed roam around, did I rouse the Careers? No, they're still dead asleep. 

Then I saw her between the branches, body resting there with stealth as if the trees are her home and will always catch her whenever she hops. 

Rue.

She points above my head, and the buzzing starts, one of the tracker jackers flies around the nest, crawls on the entrance and disappears. I signal Rue through a sawing motion. She nods and hops from tree to tree, fleeing.

Fred and Rue are safe.

I grabbed the knife Clove used in an attempt to attack me and began sawing. 

***

Masterlist

[stormhawksplanb]

Nova’s Log#1: Crystal Back Gecko

I’d like you guys to meet one of my favorite creatures that came out of it’s hiding place after Master Cyclonis was defeated! The crystal back geko that can be found on Terra Rex, exclusively. It was probably a good 2 months before we got a stress signal from the rec guardians about random clouds of crystal dust painting the buildings and statues. Lo and behold storks was interested and blamed it on some kind of 'Ghostly haunting' from past Rex squadrons. Piper on the other hand felt like it was a more natural cause. Such as young kids tossing modified smoker crystals covered in paint.

Once we reached the Terra we were met with a very snobby 'graceful' Rex guardian named Harrier. A tall, Buffy golden armored, and blonde pony tailed snoob~ but can't help but respect his desire to uphold tradition. It takes a lot of class and organization to keep things tight like that.

"Ah- the storm hawks. It's almost a complete pleasure to have you back on our Terra. If it wasn't for the current circumstances that is"

I feel like that was a back handed comment. He's been getting braver and sassier with every visit. Don't worry Aerrow was just as snappy.

"It's good to be back without being accused of stealing, or attack by dark ace. So it's an honor"

You could here finna and Junko going 'oooo' in the background.

"Very amusing Aerrow. But this is important. Those clouds of crystal dust are getting out of control. They're getting colored dust all over our homes and statues!"

Then it was my turn to put my two sense in. I slide up in front of Aerrow, despite his silent pleas, and leaned to one side, my arms crossed my chest.

"oh no~ not the statues. Don't you guys have like, a daily cleaning crew?"

I enjoyed the long sigh from him.

"Yes but that's not what they're for... And I thought the 'artist' would be concerned over it... After all it's also putting the opening of our art museum on the back burner..."

Nope. I feel for that fish line and sinker.

"welp that takes care of that! STORK! put on your paranormal thinking helmet and let's go figure out how to open that museum- I mean find your spooky squadron ghosts!"

"but I-"

I didn't give him a chance to fight back, even if I had to drag him by the arm (which I was) he was gonna help. We've been getting kind of closer since I bummed a ride from them. They make my job easier...

We looked high and low, and it didn't take us long to figure out what was going on. It turned out that it was just some cute little geckos that were being spooked by everyone. Stork did some digging and in one of his many, many, many, many, ancient books he discovered a lot of creatures and animals that went into hiding to avoid all the chaos and destruction of the war between skyknights and Cyclonians.

That war effected so much more than we all expected. So when it was over and the storm hawks defeated Master Cyclonis they couldn't get back without the door without her. They had to force their way back through the walls that closed off the other side to Atmosia. Since then we've had all sorts of bizzare creatures crawling through causing trouble. A lot of which have crystals attached to them, giving them similar attributes. Just like these little geckos. The same ones who seem to have imprinted themselves to stork... Needless to say the screech that followed.

"Why! ARE THEY SO ATTACHED TO ME! Geckos are cold blooded! They should be attaching themselves to Nova! Not me!"

I had struggled, and failed, to surpass my giggle.

"what's so funny?"

I back away from him. He didn't seem to pleased and you could just hear the growl in his voice.

"I'm not laughing at you, it's just. I uh- agree with you! But you can't tell me it's ironic. A funny ironic."

He snarled at me and we made our way back to the Condor where the others were waiting.

Once we climbed back onto the ship all eyes were on stork. Finn and Junko were snickering uncontrollably, Piper seemed concerned for storks well being, and Aerrow was wearing that 'I have something snarky to say' face. You know the one.

"Hey there stork, What cha' got there?"

"Don't even start Aerrow. One moment I'm investigating a statue, trying oh so carefully to not get crystal dust all over me and then I hear Nova giggling like a mad man. But other than that we figured out these geckos were behind everything."

I shrugged when our team leader looked my way.

"Hey- it's not my fault Stork's a dad to a bunch of geckos."

Aerrow then rolled his eyes and went to place a hand on Stork's shoulder, but just as he touched him you could hear several hisses and a small puffing sound. It was almost a pure silence as the sparkly cloud faded away revealing both Aerrow and stork covered in bright blues and purples. Aerrow seemingly less pleased about it.

"Get them off the ship..."

"ok."

I followed Stork off the condor and we spent the next 15 minutes trying to get them to go away. With no avail.

Each time we got one off, another would attach itself, and then another and we just kept going in circles.

Then it clicked.

"We need to find the mom..."

Stork kind of froze and turned slowly towards me.

"I'm sorry... But what!"

I don't think I've seen him this-

"Nova- how looong have we been at this..."

The way the word 'long' vibrated sent a shudder down my spine. And not a good one.

"All daaay~"

"yes! All day! And you only JUST now had that thought!"

"Don't blame me! You're the professional monster Hunter!"

"I know! I'm just frustrated that I didn't think of it first!"

"then stop yelling!"

"I can't this is just my default now!"

With that out of the way we decided a plan to find the nest. Which was proving to be more difficult than planned. We had to have turned every rock, and wooden board to find the nest. I watched Stork's shoulders slouch over. He was slowly giving up...

"Well. I guess this is a good enough time as ever to say this but- we're doomed..."

I reached my hand onto his shoulder, and watched as two of the Geckos climbed into me.

"We're not doomed Stork. We're just hitting a lull..."

"Yeah- in a storm..."

"which we will get through."

[frogsandfries]

Thinking out loud

Thought I saw the ex's truck as I was going to the bathroom. I know it's in my head, but sometimes I get this weird feeling that they check in on me. Not that they know exactly what to look for, let alone where. It's not like I spell out where I am. I don't think I've even discussed the make and model, or color, of my van. Mostly just the inside.

I mean, they are the one who needed to figure stuff out or whatever. They're the one who "needed space".....or whatever. So I guess I like to imagine that I'm still part of their habits or whatever. Probably not. That bitch probably went and rented a really nice apartment after they threw my life out of orbit. Or maybe I give them too much credit and they still live in the dungeon. Whatever.

Anyway. I don't have to worry about where they're living. I have my own dwelling to take care of. For example, this morning when I got up to start the van and get stuff moving, the battery was dead. Again*. My neighbors this weekend offered me a jump, which I might have been rude in turning down but that wasn't my intent. When my dad came through, he noticed the battery is apparently from 2004.......... which doesn't seem right?? But even if it's from 2014, it probably still hasn't been taken the best care of. I mean, how many times have I complained about how filthy this beast is inside? Plus the disused mouse nests that suggest to me no less than a season, but possibly three, where a mouse thought this was a good dwelling.

*So the first time, we both blamed the lift. The second time, my dad accused me of leaving something arbitrary on, the blower in the on setting. Basically, if I don't turn the van on every single day, the battery is so old, it will just die. That's nice.

It is indeed a good thing that I'm tearing the insides out. Then I can be confident that the interior is all new and I can prevent future rodent issues. I can also seal up any rust.

You know what I hate?

It's been like two months--two whole months at this point--since I've done much of any studio work. But at the rate I'm going, I may not have a desk till spring. Of course, I really should focus on the van. But it sucks. I feel like the next time I pick up some modeling material, what comes out will be awful. That's silly. I know sculpting is as natural for me as breathing, intuitive and instinctive.

The first assignment I took with my dad was a total joke--so yeah, we went and got a different assignment. But the first check we get from this assignment is only going to be two days and a couple hours from the previous assignment. But I'm holding onto that check for this thing we're doing for younger sister for a joint birthday celebration. Next week is going to be rough. As it is, I went to Wal-Mart Friday and blasted my check--heater, a couple small tanks of propane to run the thing and get some heat going in here. I probably didn't <i>need </i> the water carbonator, but I was going to purchase it anyway, and I saved money on the heater over what I thought I was going to be spending. I also bought some food. I think I'm getting my stores built back up, but does it count if I'm still not really eating? I was planning on walking out and getting Starbucks and a toy from Target, but I'll get those eventually. I suggested getting it with my sister as a fun, silly activity to work on together.

I really should focus on this project right here, which kind of makes my wishes for a studio space silly. I have this huge project that needs so much attention anyway, sculpting would just be a distraction.

I wanted tear off the paneling from the back doors yet this weekend. I think I need to give up trying to get the curtains to work perfectly till I have the window frames. My dad doesn't want to do the pop-up ceiling which I don't fucking care because it's my van, I want the ceiling. We can do the full high top come spring or whatever, but I want this right now. It's funny how he's all about short term solutions unless it's one that I want. Fuck that shit. Literally all this project involves is him grinding a hole in my ceiling about three or four feet wide and like five feet long. "It's gonna be cold." Sorrynotsorry didn't ask for your opinion. It's only going to be cold if I'm stupid. I'm not stupid. I'm going to use reflectix and rigid insulation. Then I can hold on doing the high top till it's all ready to install. That way, there's no rush.

This brings up an issue though. Apart from having too much trouble doing anything having to work on my knees or hunched over, I'm just getting all tangled up. There's so much that I need to do and I have more time than money right now, although, this new assignment is brain-dead for good money. Like, seriously at least till I know what I'm doing (which could take about two months), I'm expected to focus on quality over quality. And so far, the tasks are stupid simple, press a button, put this piece on this one. It just sucks I can't drive my damn self, so I live in third shift haze again. But if I'd known this place was here and this was what goes on there, I might've gone sooner. So great money for a brain-dead, zombie job. I'm not complaining.....except that you can't get OT for the first several weeks. I could use some extra money to jumpstart all this van stuff. I plan to make up for it though. I was thinking about taking at least one day every other weekend. It'll suck, but doing two days on time and half is like working a whole day that doesn't exist on the calendar. Twice a month gives me two whole extra days worth of money; that could be a ton of extra money over several months. It could quickly make up for this shitty year. But even one day every other weekend is money I wouldn't have otherwise.

I need the pop-up ceiling. That has moved to the top of my priority list. I was going to try to use it as a stepping stone to the high top, but now it's more its own project. I think it's a good temporary solution, plus, after building the high top, it'll be a great way to get more light in during the day without interfering with solar, and without cooking myself during summer or exposing myself/my space. I don't know why my dad is balking. It's not like he's doing more than cutting the hole. The rest is totally in my hands. Plus, it'll make the ceiling lighter when it's time to work on the high top. Or not. Either way. Mostly it's a fairly easy project that gives me more space, and it's a project I can do when the cutting is done.

The more I confer with my dad on this project, the more he irritates me. He has his own ideas and doesn't really seem to appreciate that I have my own ideas and plans. He seems to think I should divert my plans for his, which are obviously superior because he's older than me. I might surprise him.... if he lets me.... I have my own vision for the space I will be living in. I'm resisting his ideas when they clash with mine and I don't think he likes it. Then he comes back and resists my ideas.

I need height to work, to care for my space the way I like. I need height so I can use the space better. So this pop-up ceiling has moved up my list of priorities. But since it'll be a couple weeks before I'll have the money for materials, let alone be ready for my dad to cut the ceiling, I might as well wreak havoc and destruction on everything I'm getting rid of anyway. I got a little stymied with this ceiling panel being held by a huge bolt/screw thing and not being able to casually saw it down with a utility knife. So I think I'm going to reserve the utility knife for the carpet, which I will not miss, and my dad is going to lend me a crowbar to bust off the ceiling panel, if not the hardware holding it in place.

It's hard to resist the urge to purchase materials for temporary fixes--for example, I could build a little table over my drawers and have a place to put my water jug and other bits and bobs off the floor. But I guess I have to rationally consider what kind of structure I want to use for the kitchen before I build something temporary. It would be useful to get the stray stuff off the floor.....and it would be useful to make use of the dead space the open top of the drawer creates. Perhaps I can work toward that permanent kitchen in my spare time and come up with a workable surface that has a decent bit of permanency.

When I get the back door paneling torn off and the back end carpeting pulled up, I'm going to have my dad take this bench out once and for all. I can pull stuff out without having to buy stuff. I already bought what I need to start working on the floor. I even have some sanding sponges to take care of the rough edges on the underlayment.

I'm still trying to move through the van back to front and top to bottom, to get things in a liveable state until everything is ready to reach a polished state. I'm trying not to let the lack of resources make me feel backed into a corner. At the same time, I'm not going to make it six or twelve months on fast food and snacks. I'm also not too keen on having to rely on my parents to get a shower or hot meal or refrigerate any perishables I want.

I don't know how long I'm going to have to juggle getting the vehicle elements of the van repaired with getting the living elements put together. I don't really know for certain how long I'm going to have to struggle with my basics needs versus my desire to keep everything moving in an orderly fashion. I do know I'm still fighting to keep an assignment. I do try to go into each assignment with an open mind. I try not to bother with any drama, just focus on doing what I'm paid to do. Eventually I'll find an assignment that has little bullshit that bothers me and I'll stick around. Once I've hired on somewhere, the money will be more certain. I'm not going to wait around for steady cash flow; that's not my style. I have to do what needs to be done with what I have--like buying a heater now that it's cold out. Eventually I'll have the pop-up ceiling and I'll be able to move my attention to cooking, solar. I'll need to fix my van's brakes and I need to buy a new battery eventually anyway. Might as well get two, one for the van itself, and one for all the stuff I'm doing inside the van. Hook the second battery up for solar, eventually get a series of batteries to store solar power. I think I will build that cabinet for the kitchen space, using my drawers as a template.

I know the space is still very much under construction, so I can't get too carried away with any sort of furniture quite yet, but that's no reason to use the space poorly. I mostly want somewhere to put the giant jug of water and my dishes. I still haven't figured out how I want to use the kitchen space--water, fridge, dishes, food obviously. When I find my basin, I can also keep my dishes clean; maybe I'll turn to pull off something with the water jug pump. I think getting this bench out though, that'll be a huge step in the right direction. It'll free up all that literal floor space, but also give me access to everything the bench blocks. Maybe that will be the biggest obstacle to clear on my mission. Maybe after getting this bench out, everything will go faster and easier. I'll at least have space for my laundry as well as the kitchen structure. I can put the floor in the rear half of the back end together right away, and then I can use the space to hold everything on the upper half of the floor and get that done. I can put the stuff back in the front while I do the rest of the stuff in the back end and hopefully start to put stuff away.

I don't believe I'll be building the kitchen before I do the pop-up, but if that's how things work out, I'll need to remember to make my kitchen workspace a reasonable height for standing at when I cook. But I really think I'm doing the ceiling when I get this four-day paycheck, weather seal, reflectix, canvas, vinyl, rigid foam insulation, latches.

This Friday is going to be awesome with two days' pay and going to visit my sister. Yup. In the morning, I should really buckle down on working toward getting this damn bench out. Maybe a side effect of getting the bench out will be getting the lift tower out. The platform of the lift is gone, which is awesome, but it'll be perfection to get the tower out--along with the bench and the rest of the original stuff.

I've temporarily given up getting the windows covered perfectly. It simply isn't going to happen with Velcro. I need to accept what I've accomplished and get a move on with the rest of my priorities. I only get two nights off most weeks, so it's not like I'm going to need much privacy at night, and the curtains keep it dim enough in here for sleeping. I'm going to need another four yards or so of the outdoor fabric I bought for the curtains. I'm thinking an extra six to ten inches in length per window, and I'll just have to accept ugly bunching. Then I can add loops for the curtain rods. That won't take much material, since the curtains actually may be long enough to fold the excess length to make at least one of the loops. I think I want to try adding a layer of reflectix between the layer of curtain that I want to be all nosy passersby to see, and the layer I get to see. I think Velcro will be good for these, and I might make a few sets, maybe mix and match.

Hmmm...... here's a thought: My heater sits right where I want to hang my privacy curtain. Maybe removing the bench will help me find a new home for the heater. Right now, the heater rests on a little grill. Like the kind of grill that cooks food. It was my dad's improvisation. Not a permanent solution by any means. I really want to make or find a cage for it. It's too close for my tastes to being an open flame in an enclosed space, and I know I'm notable for being clumsy the harder I try to be careful--and worse, I'm prone to being absentminded and literally throwing stuff. I am not certain what to do with this heater right now, so immediately, it can stay where it is. It's of little concern or vexation to me when it's off..... More distantly, I want to start keeping the propane tanks outside. There's little concern of the propane freezing to unusability. So maybe that will influence where the heater makes its permanent home.

Ugh........I hate third shift. I know I only worked two days last week, and it's been a while, and it's not for everyone.....I'm just going to stop fighting, give in and get some sleep. I'll probably take a nap tomorrow afternoon before work, be certain to pack a couple energy drinks. Maybe things will get easier this week. At least the job doesn't require much attention to detail.

I need to get a move on with this van. Insulation will help hold the heat and mean using the propane heater for shorter blocks of time to get things warm.

You know, if I need a project, I've got plenty of pens...

[the-firebird69]

This is a huge number of things going on here one of them is that these assholes are wanted and The wanted for revealing their stuff telling people what they're doing and going around and being huge assholes and the next had planned that a role and have them doing it and these guys are trying to bring suit against them for orchestrating it and then blaming them and they do have a point they just don't have any real way of doing that and they think they do and it's rather obnoxious what they doing yet it will prove that they are a problem you said it yesterday and they started firing on them and now they're prepping for going to war with them and then see what they're up to and it's the same thing , cause people to attack to try and take over and it's going on right now that the empire is preparing to strike them. They're preparing a lot of heavy and big spaceships and bombs and they're going to bomb them and it's been building up for years this to this event between these two and they're having some sort of shouting match.

-we're watching intently and we are seeing that Trump is countering and cringing doesn't feel like doing anymore but he pissed everybody off and he has to he has no way out he's going to get attacked no matter what he does now

-there's about 30 incidents yesterday of him messing with people. And messing with their accounts and sticking with their personal life driving them off the road all sorts of things he's doing and they're all coming back to him today and last night and they're hitting him and they're saying look you're getting blindsided and it's happening all day long today they all said it too we going to keep doing it so you get the hell out of here nobody wants you it's a stupid laundry mat or your kids or your assine clone. There's some other things going on they were taken to the supreme Court of their state and the appeal to the federal court and the FED said you're coming to court here for your stupid appeal as the federal court in DC usually they have it in the state and the lawyer asked are we going to the circuit there and it'll sarcastic some people left a lot of the story out cuz usually go to federal court in the same capital of the state and they said no they're calling them to DC and they don't want their appeal to work and they can do that the federal court has jurisdiction over the entire country and they said you can't do that like a million times and a son says it's out of the hands of the state it's in the federal court and you're probably poking the wrong hornet's nest and I said how can we do that you do it here all the time and I don't know you're poking it so I'm going to start saying all this s*** and then they said what do you mean since one thing for them to know why they're calling you there it's another for them to tell everybody why do you see if you don't know you should find out before screaming it out of them and having everybody find out so they decided to do it and they found out why they want to talk to them about other stuff so they stopped yelling about it. No this stuff for real and they said how much do we owe you for that this is 200 Grand and they said oh yeah it's a lawyer fee so good you should check around and I'll do a real good by you. And they just they decide to say something if you don't know what's going on you shouldn't interfere and they're saying all this stuff and he says if you tell everybody what they're talking about and most people don't like you what do you think the result is and they said okay I mean Jesus Christ go somewhere else I don't want you living near me you're stupid they laughed a little bit and they said it's probably a better idea and just sat there. But today they're going to Federal Court and I'll figure out what they're talking about and yes not that great it's about them constantly bothering people so that's what they're going to do today and he says you're probably off the ballot it could be that that's the only thing you agreed to is not screaming about it. So they picked up the phone and said you can't listen to him it's probably about the ballot. And it says the phone down says you're right about keep asking you questions and follow it whether it's right or not. And right now they're noticing people are getting ready to do that and I sudden actually remembers them saying it and daughter too all of a sudden you get mad it said how was it it wasn't really connected to that and then he said this that's a little weird so it could be so have a nice day I'm trying to threaten me to get out of it that's going to be a joke they don't listen to you at all I'm just going to do what they want and you keep bothering me and they get away with it and you get away with bothering me getting nothing. It's all coming to a head today and we believe that's what they're up to if you're not on the ballot in Colorado you're not going to be running for president and they're going to kick him out of the race and he's going to go ballistic and get blamed for Tommy f attacking Trump's areas and other people's areas along the perimeter and it's going on in the USA 99% of it and we have to keep the place open but there are some places that needs to be hit and devices down below and above and just keep making them I can't have it.

-we are in receipt of several warnings from the max. And they can say this don't happen to this don't have to do that and then they say and don't do this over here but this is for real and stuff like that and I'm saying what's for real and what's not for real and I started getting mad and I said read it again it's not reading this crap you have fake stuff and real stuff go to hell. Our son and daughter said try to Make a better plan and get back to us and he said we don't understand I said speak Spanish or something even better at foreign languages. So senses okay what the f*** did you want. And they said nothing I said go away then. So I said no I said we'll start killing you in space we have deadly minds and you're not safe anywhere. They start to have and it sound like retards so going to treat you that way and Zeus and Hera said that we backed them up and he said you sound easy we have to go for it and then start blabbing so we start going after them cuz we know what it is and we took them down retards too

-there's a bunch of people here who need to leave and that really people that really stupid this guy Trump is a complete moron and he's Billy Hicks and that's who he is and if you want to trace down his lineage stuff find out he's an idiot that's happening in DC there's a few more things going on

-our son is under duress all the time and we have to fix it it's too many people bothering him

-there's a war on and the more locker trying to get in and fail that's a perimeter and they burned up most of who came in and they're burning the rest up now it's a 25th ring and they'll be gone and a bunch of them too and then the pseudo empire going and pull some out here the neighborhood they said 40 households out last night 30 of them came back and they're planning on going back out 10 of them are now in circles because 30 left how did that happen that was bja and her son says you damn well know it and BJ says I do know it and it was this Trump a****** leaving and he left and we were forced to and now there's some miscellaneous warlock trapped out there and it's horrifying. So they're probably going to get nailed and we're hearing right now they're getting fired on and they're not going to make it and my son says why not let them fight each other here and Mike too says shut up Chris and I said no I think that's a good idea. There's other things going on but we're going to publish now

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues

There's a lot of stuff happening when Trump is getting burried now and he's lost a few important cases well he's lost a few requests and he's got more cases coming out now against him and some are very serious. He has a sex scandal trial coming up it's the same one with the second phase and it's a criminal court he also has two other criminal cases conspiracy to overtake the United States by force that's coming up in March and is a case in January it was mentioned the other day as a criminal case it's about election fraud of his own and there's a lot of witnesses who've already been arrested and convicted and it does look good and the a****** is still clinging on to the election in its horrifying he's a moron and really it's an embarrassment

Hera

[the-firebird69]

There's a huge number of people looking at one flew of the cuckoo's nest and they found out that it looks like an old film made back in 1974 in Oregon there are a few cues when is did they tried to pin it on Asia and Russia and did a very lame George and they got nailed for it and still are. They did go after Mack and his people however other Max were going after them as well but they're normal and the Donald plan was blaming the gifted guy, and they would argue when you get killed that sounds weird had to grab all of them and foreigners watching it but really that's how it went. The other maps figured it out and didn't want to continue even healthy Max to keep trying to steal stuff and they can't accumulate anything. And it's a matter of time before they're gone cuz they keep doing it. Stands running around doing too. It's a few reasons for it.. mc daddy clan has built about 30 million out of the 650 million hulls for Warhammer. They are aware that they're smaller. They were not aware that they're that small. There's a hurtful look on his face you realizes he's been treading water and staying alive and that's what he's been doing. So few other things to know but he used to be very big and it was about 15 years ago who's about 5% of all the macs out of 25% of the planet and he got really small. There's only several things he can do punt or try and take huge chips and lasers in the AI and that's what he should do now it doesn't seem to understand there's problems here so he's taking a look at it. And it's going on and on about Tommy F but that's who it is and his little piglet. But he knows what he's doing and that's Mac and other people don't. You started up as tobacco you said it was Brian's. He's grown a lot of it and it worked and really does not taste bad it tastes great. His kids are getting into it and it's got other companies and ideas about them he likes some of our son's companies it says they're flipping and weird and he says they always work though like Dyson's fear. I was starting up some of these companies and they're kind of involved you have a few companies that were working on so we are going to town now on things and we're trying to do it. There's a little strange but we're working on things together revitalizing the economy and other is other people don't want to do it and he says he has to and he'll have a place.

-so the discussion led to Mac has always been running things Max agreed to do what he said and the way to do it back then and it's not his fault that you're still doing it that way and that he has a frontal lobe issue that these idiots caused and it was in Oregon with a surgery was done and the threatening our son in westborough. It's nice to evoke a history lesson but that's the lesson and that's where the math is and it's true. You guys went out to California 3 days ago and areas are deserted and they're nasty you're hard to claim because they stink so bad what you did was you s*** all over it some buildings are full of s*** you can see it the windows and you're slowly ruining the place now sun is right we should bring stars in and just keep getting rid of you. Right now Mac is going to do an offensive from the north he's going to take over Sacramento and he's going to take over the area to the seashore and to the east to the mountains 20 mi south of the city and he will begin his move to San Luis Obispo after that and we're going along with him or we won't have any territory and the foreigners are too... Sacramento and surrounding is pretty big and San Luis Obispo is not but to get there you have to go through San Francisco that is huge and all these movies are going to start up and have to finish within 2 or 3 days or they won't cuz you more like won't be here

The video about Utah is almost over and they went out the second time and a small bunkers were attacked and they're going to come back in and that's it then they're out dumb and dumber and about 10 other movies are going to happen in Utah and that's it and the keys will be sought this coming up next week for real it'll take about a week to get down to San Luis Obispo but once you're there the sun says it's only LA county and San Diego and that's it and the whole place is gone the valley is not very big and it's not anything in the valley only a few bunkers and he's right the shorelines got nothing in it. As we speak people are evacuating Sacramento and they're going to LA and they said the cleanest s*** up and demolish the buildings if they have to.

More shortly

Thor Freya

Hey. Stop cutting me off I said I didn't really have anything to say and it's kind of true. This is terrible. They're ruining the whole place and it's going to have to be rebuilt and it's a nightmare and I'm sick of these people. But right now stand is having a standoff with his idiot Friends and they're just sitting there and they've been sitting there for a long time they're building up forces so there's a few things he can do and it's not going to be very easy but he's thinking about what to do now he's in trouble the forces are big and he's not very huge.. Ken doesn't like him because my husband moved out and my husband looks at like Ken is a nutcase and he really is that's from weak s*** so he's hurt by it but who cares that's stupid you're going to be a mental patient forever who cares for that s*** nobody buys it they just come and pick you up one day. So we're out of there and we're thinking about other things. Right now there's a lot of talk about getting you some funds for some outrageously excellent work and preserving what is left of humanity and we're talking about too and what you say is if you can without our people getting in trouble and that's what it sounds like and people won't and you think it's probably a good idea and it's a good idea to light up the treasury and social security and that's what I was thinking too we'd end up defending it and that's a good point. Now there's a few other things happening I'm getting a little shaky on my Spanish but these people are assisting me with it all the time that they're in the enemy every single one of them and they do it to my husband and they do it Non-Stop. And I want them out and I'm tired of them making fires and all sorts of other dumb things it's all illegal and they should be arrested every time if they were they'd be out of here in a few days. I'm sick of people on the TV shouting at us in our way having a safe stuff I want them fired instantly and we're going to put orders on them because people aren't hearing us saying it's illegal for them to do that. I want some order around here having them all yell and scream is illegal and we're going to write it up as edex we are in trouble here there are things happening in Charlotte county that are causing problems one of them is that they are trying to damage things even things they living in in protest and they need to leave and appointed it out I'm actually watching and they soon I come down and pick them up out of here that these people are spent and take them out of the election he's ridiculous. Actually we need him out now. I'm running it up and sending it out. There's a few things that happen macken's up in The matrix and Biden was on vacation and we think they're coincide and and with it and Trump takes over a lot of DC and New York City to clear his the president. And he said something interesting he said it he thinks it might take over the White House to a degree and when they do that he thinks Independence Day too might occur and the mothership comes flying in you see something that looks like UMass Boston but that's not what the show's films but it's snowing so it got cold somewhere a few days ago it's true it may have been a result of the ships taking off no. The ship should take off tonight. We are going to be under duress again with this idiot Trump he takes over DC where the impression it doesn't last long and someone tells us it's only minutes out of the day both attacks occur and the first attack was actually for him to take over. ...

The people wandering around the ones that were kicked out of the apartments are getting arrested they eventually return to the apartment they find out that no one's in it they try and pick the locks or break in and they get arrested. It's a huge number of them that got arrested in the past 20 minutes out of the 3.5% of the 5% and those are the tenants probably 90% of them are arrested and they will be going to court and no they're going to prison and the attractions espionage and more. And we're well aware that the max say stuff about my husband and we're moving in and they can't stop us and I'm not really aware that much he says good and out of the rest of it the 1.5% of the morlock owned properties they're being kicked out now and not waiting until tomorrow. This afternoon to this evening anticipate 90% of that 1.5% will be in custody in about 98% of the first bunch and probably about 70% of the owners they'll come in and out though. Later on today more of the owners will be rounded up and for the 1.5% too.

-the 8% is interesting half as we discussed we're owned by people other than Max and they are faltering meaning that they are evicting people and getting beat up and losing properties it's happening all over the place now all over Earth but here in Florida is 8% of the properties in total and about 2% have lost their properties Stan lost half and said he should have sold and he wants to sell and he doesn't seem to want to contact anyone and the other 2% will probably fall by the end of the day the max are evicting most tenants most of them are more lock 90% of them and all of them by the end of the day that's too many people that's a lot but it's not that many the remaining housing systems are not that much there are only several areas there in and they are concentrated there and they get surrounded they're going to do the same thing even though they own the buildings they've done it in several neighborhoods already and they're going to do it on seven more. It's a matter of time before we tell you do not say stuff and have our people say stuff through your stupid TV we don't do that and you're fired and my husband wants it done that's ridiculous the sister shouting you can't you can't even hear it with a stupid crap that those people need to be grabbed right now pulled off the air I'm saying it in sending it in now they're the most unproductive unintelligent people I've ever seen

-the sheriff drops 25 more out of 125 and it's down to 100 and they're holding it

-the punta Gorda police dropped to 30 and they're holding it and it was 40 and between the two there's only four or five in each that are trumpsters the rest are bja and several minority only

-they were major attacks plans on the empire that canceled another back on because they took their ship holes. And a huge ones for tonight all over the place if they can get there

-police are arresting people for harassment now finally it's been a long time and it should have been doing it free money everybody

-the mega ship in Canada might come out when the freeze out at DC NYC. And I agree that is coming up pretty quick we notified people where the keys are and they're going after them they will find them they say they're checking DC at the White House and they're going and looking for them. Not tonight and for a week or so other shifts will be launching of medium class and medium small some of them are quite large and mostly the northern hemisphere there will be a lot of them and the medium from 5 to 10 miles there will be about 100 from 2:00 to 5:00 there will be 300 and ones