#we'll see how much the dlc explains... and then how much the sequel eventually does. but i have questions

[the-kipsabian]

its not a lake

its an ocean

[box-off]

My time….. has come.

First of all, a little explanation of all the games, if you know and played them, or didn't play and don't want spoilers, just skip but I really want to talk about it so, yeah. (Update to that sentence, I will write more interesting stuff in the next reblog, sorry, this took much more time than i thought.)

We'll start with postal 1. It Doesn't have much to do with any other postal game, as you probably know, its dark tones and more serious story separate it from all other games (Except Postal Redux, which is eventually just high quality Postal 1, with some added content). My favorite detail in redux is that the voice that can be heard at the end of the game, as the Dude is now locked in the asylum, is actually Corey Cruise, the voice actor for Dude in Postal 3, Brain Damaged and one of the options in Postal 4.

Postal 2 has a lot, A LOT of stuff. It's my favorite game of them all and just a gem in general. In the game, Postal Dude is sent to do some errands for his wife who he's in a toxic relationship with, as they hate each other a lot. He gets fired on the first day of work by his boss, Vince Dasi, the creator of the game, at RWS, the company responsible for the game. That's why his wife decides to send him to do stuff for her every day. After all that, on Friday, the apocalypse starts, a thing that actually happens in Postal 4 and even Corkscrew Rules as well. (Maybe postal 3 too, i still didn't play it). Then he comes back home and after realizing that he never bought the rocky road, the Bitch, his wife, asked him to buy. He decides that the only logical thing to do is shoot himself. (Fun fact: I was sure that the Bitch was the one to shoot him when i first played the game.) Then Apocalypse Weekend happens, you do a bunch of stuff, you fight Mike J, all that while hallucinating that Gary Colmans attack you, and then you nuke Paradise… yeah.

Now probably the part where I get to explain a lot more, Paradise Lost. It's a DLC Of Postal 2, it came after Postal 3 as the actual sequel to postal 2. Dude is trying to escape from paradise (Just like one of the ost songs) with his dog, Champ, as he suddenly jumps out of the car. Dude gets dizzy because of his head wound, he blacks out and that's when Postal 3 happens. So it's all just a dream. He wakes up from the coma and has a weird voice in his head. Which is, the Dude from postal 3. Dude goes and does the usual, everyday tasks, just like in the main game!! But the story is pretty different. He's dog Champ eats some radioactive shit and becomes "El Perro Loco", which had to be locked to not disturb the lives of the citizens. Basically he mutated into a giant monster. So to have it back you go around in search of a cure for the poor dog, while fighting zombies, different fractions, Zack Ward, your ex wife… And all that? With a voice in your head! There are 2 ending of the game!! One is the canonical one, you get out of Paradise and it blows up (again), or you kill every leader of every fraction to get the "Leader ending", where Postal 3 Dude talks as if in a tale, how Dude became god and is now the ruler of everything.

Can't really tell much about Postal 3, so let's just jump to Postal 4. (I will play Postal 3, I really will)

Postal 4 starts with Dude getting out of the bathroom only to see that his trailer is being stolen. So he's adventure in Edensin begins there. With nothing but a bathrobe and his dog he has to find his trailer, while as always doing stuff. It's basically Postal 2 with better graphics and, well, new missions. Through the whole game, at the end of each day, Dude will have a place to sleep and usually a mysterious man will offer him some type of place to sleep (Usually something really bad, like a literal dumpster). He's the one who gives us, or sells us back our trailer, depending on the ending. Brain Damaged. Well, not much to say, Dudes dreaming, pees all over his couch while at it. Nice game, I love it. It's really different compared to other postal games, that's true, but it has it's own charm.

And as an addition to the main games, I'm going to explain Corkscrew, because here on tumblr there are a bunch of Corkscrew fans (me included). I will also tell about the movie, because, well, it's still postal!

Corkscrew follows… Nope, not Dude, it follows Corkscrew, or as he was called in the original russian Dub, Shtopor. Shtopor is a porn star who lost his dick and his memory (Nice anatomy you got there my guy). He goes around the city of Muhosransk to find his organ while dealing with, you guessed it, a voice in his head! She's…. interesting, she made him shove a plumber up his vagina, so you can imagine. In the end it's revealed that Osama Bil fucking Laden want his dick, and in the end of it all you have to kill him. A mess of a game but my russian heart has a special place for it.

And finally, the movie! It's a really bad movie, the Dude in it is a completely different person. Tired of his life, hates Paradise, kind of awkward and just… some guy. His wife hates him, sleeps with other men all the time, he has no job and everything seems to run downhill. He contacts his uncle who has a cult (Yep, just like in Postal 2) and they try to figure out some way to have money, because Dude has no job, Uncle Dave has a huge debt so what do they do? Steal Krotchy dolls! Then they get talibans as their rivals, and you know, the usual stuff. The movie was made by Uwe Boll so it has a questionable quality. But for a Postal Movie?? Just amazing, it could not be better.

THE END!.... or not? This is taking too long and I will go back to this to actually say the cool facts and interesting shit. This is just, mostly stuff you can learn from the games.

(if this is inaccurate I apologize, I know the postal lore by heart but I'm still not a wikipedia)

if anyone wants to spill all of the postal lore and every single little hidden detail they know i am all ears

(i also want ur personal little opinions and theories)