#we’re not surviving this round of brussel sprouts

[littlemut]

tummy ache so bad you rekindle your relationship with god

[justawriterofthings]

Just Lay Off The Twizzlers

Summary:  The reader is a con artist who bumps into David.  They head to a farmers market, take a few fresh veggies, and have the first decent meal either of them have had in a long time.  

Word Count: 2,854

Warnings: mention of mental illness, thievery, mention of drug use, swearing

Author’s Note:  Another requested David fic!  Sorry for the mistakes and thanks for reading.  :)

Thieves take.  They don’t give back.  They don’t borrow.  They take and they leave the damage behind them.  That’s what you’ve been telling yourself the past fifteen years anyway. Sure you had more of a moral compass now, but your philosophy stayed the same.  It had been how you survived, it was all you knew.  You got pretty good at picking pockets, swiping watches right off people’s wrists, and you had become one of the best con artists in the city. You were known among the other thieves for the risk you took with high end targets and your ability to talk yourself out of anything.  But you hit a dry spell, and had been working a job for months with nothing to show for it yet.  The resources you saved up had been depleted quicker than you anticipated and you were now squatting in an empty apartment complex, stealing food.  It was like you had taken a ten year leap backwards. But, the job you had been working reaped a reward so high you would be set for life if you pulled it off, and locked away for life if you didn’t.    

You shuffled your feet a little quicker today, there was flyer you found for a farmers market and it was about time you find something to eat since it has been since yesterday since you ate.  That and your target’s wife was there today and if you didn’t make it you would have to wait another two weeks to see her.  In a rush, you hadn’t been watching where you were going when you rand into someone head first.  “Sorry, sorry.  My bad.” You apologized, looking up to see a rather disheveled man with a Twizzler sticking out of his mouth.  

His hair was a mess and his eyes looked wild.  He ripped a piece off of his candy with his teeth and looked you over.  “It’s okay.”  He said with a smile.   After looking him over you could tell he was a little less than alright.  Manic even.

“Care to walk with me?” You asked, holding out your hand to introduce yourself.  “Y/N.” You said when he took it, though you could see he was hesitant.  

“David.”  He finally said, the smile from before was back. “Where are we going?”  He asked, finishing his Twizzler.  

“Farmers market to grab some lunch.  When was the last time you had something green?”  You asked, your pace slowing so he could keep up.  He had to think about his answer which told you it had been awhile. “Well we’ll grab a few things and we’ll find a place where I can whip you up something that isn’t full of artificial sugar.”  You motioned to the new piece of candy he pulled out of his jacket pocket.  

“We’ll find a place you can cook?  Don’t you have a place?”  He asked, a little skeptical seeing how you were dressed in cleaner clothes than he was.

“Not at the moment.” You lied, keeping your answer as vague as you could so you could get to know him a little better and he wasn’t buying it.  He let out a hum of agreement, obviously not believing you and walked with you without another word from him.  

You had been in his presence long enough to see he was a junkie.  Though you didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to see that since they had a distinct look around here from what you saw. Once the farmers market was in sight you stopped him and pulled him to the side of the street.  You pulled a comb out of your pocket and started to brush back his matted hair.  “What the hell are you doing?”  He asked, though he didn’t make any move to stop you.  

“You have to look like you fit in a little bit.  I’ve been to one of these run by this group before.  They’re more of the yuppie type.”  You explained, then motioned to your clothes.  “Picked these up this morning.”  You smiled proudly at the lift you had done.  

“You’re a thief.”  He came to the realization with a wicked smile on his face.  

“I prefer confidence person.”  You flashed him the same smile.  

“Con artist. Cool.  So how do you plan on getting us lunch?”  He asked, going along with you now, seemingly more comfortable than he had been ten minutes ago.  

“With this.  And you.”  You pulled out one of the reusable bags you’d seen used at these things before.

“Where are you even keeping all of this stuff?”  He asked, more impressed at the amount of items you had been carrying.  

“Deep pockets.”  You shrugged.  “That and I only carry what I need.”  You continued, finishing up with his hair then licking your thumb and wiping off the smudge on his cheek.  

“Thanks mom.”  He mocked your action.  

“What, you can’t look like a fucking hoodlum.  Believable but not too believable.”  Your voice cropped to a whisper.  “Just, can you follow my lead?”  You asked, fixing his jacket.  He nodded, unsure where this was headed but obviously eager to see.  “Good.  Okay, come on.”  You ushered him through the tents.  

David received a few stares but the two of you shrugged them off.  “So why are we here again?  Couldn’t we have gone to you know, a supermarket or something?”  David asked as you eyed a particular table.  

You shook your head no. “See that woman?  The one with the ten thousand dollar look of the day?” You nodded your head towards the woman who looked as out of place as David had.  

“Yeah, so?”  He didn’t see where you had been going with this.  

“She’s the wife of some Wall Street big shot I’ve been staking out for months.  She comes here as her bi weekly charitable action to clear her conscience.  This, this is charity to her.”  You motioned around you.  A little agitated.  

“So we’re going to what? Rob her?”  He hushed his voice so only you could hear.  

“Today that’s all you’re doing.  But I’ve been working this family for more than just a handful of fresh produce.” You whispered as you headed over to her table.  

“Annette, I thought that was you.  How are you doing sweetheart?  I see you brought that brother you’re always going on about.”  The woman wearing more than anyone’s reasonable salary greeted you.

“Deb you look as fabulous as always.”  You smiled at her, fake smile with a glimpse of teeth.  

She touched the bottom of her stiff hair.  “Oh darling, thank you for noticing.  Gregory bought me this last week.”  She motioned to the pearls that lay perfectly across her neck, dipping slightly into her cleavage.  

“It’s gorgeous, Deb.” Your tone was dripping with cheerfulness and you could feel David looking at you.  “We just came to pick up a few things for brunch tomorrow. Wouldn’t want to waste your time talking about such personal affairs.”  You handed David the reusable bag, looking at Deb the entire time. “Peter, please hold this while I find some things suitable for grandmother.”  You said when he hadn’t taken the bag yet.  

“Sure, sis.”  He sounded unsure of himself so you looked over to him with a reassuring smile.  “Just not Brussels sprouts; you know how she feels about those.”  He said, with more confidence.  You winked at him as a way to say good work.  

“Ah this is your brother Peter?”  Deb asked you again, looking to be preoccupied with David so that’s when you took your chance to shove a few items in your pockets in between sticking them in the bag David was holding.  “How has army life been treating you, Peter?”  Deb asked David.  “Looks like you have been through hell and back.  It must be good to be home.  Did you just get in?”  Deb started to ask David numerous questions about lies you had told her.  

“Uh, my bus just got in this morning.  Haven’t had a chance to go home and clean up yet.  Grandmother will be furious I haven’t stopped to see her yet, but she’ll understand.”  David started babbling, keeping Deb’s focus on him while you filled your pockets.  He seemed a bit uncomfortable and you noticed his forehead scrunch in pain slightly, but other than that he was a natural.    

“Oh shoot.  Deb, I must have left my wallet in my purse.” You patted down your jacket, feigning looking for your wallet.  

She looked to you with some sympathy.  “I do it all the time love, I’ll see you in two weeks.  Pay me then.  What did you get?”  She looked in the bag David was holding. A the trust she held for you was a good sign and you took note of it.  “Three tomatoes and a head of lettuce?  Is that enough for brunch?”  She looked back at you with a puzzled expression.  

“It’s for the salad. Grandmother will want her fill of lox before tomatoes.”  You defend the small bag.  

“There’s hardly twenty dollars of food here.  Just this once, I’ll give you a pass.  As long as you promise to bring Peter next time I see you.”  She looked to David with lustful eyes.  

“Oh I couldn’t trouble you like that.  I insist on paying.”  You lied.

“Nonsense.  Just bring Peter along next time and we’ll call it even.” She smiled to you and you smiled back, matching the fakeness.  

“Deb you are a saint.” You waved goodbye and pulled David with you.  

“Is that really all you got?”  He asked, skeptical of your skills.  

“Hell no.  My pockets feel like they’re going to rip open. Hurry up.”  Your pace quickened once the two of you were out of the tents. You rounded the corner into an ally and started to pull out your haul and put it in the bag, filling it almost completely.  

“You weren’t kidding about the deep pockets.”  He looked at the bag with wide eyes.  “So why is she the only one you take from?”  He asked, carrying the bag for you down the deserted alley.  

“She can afford the loss. The other vendors can’t.  I may be a thief but I have some morals.”  You laughed.  “Plus her husband is taking millions from anyone and everyone who even thinks about walking in his path.”  You explained as you led him to an empty apartment complex under construction. The two of you walked up to the entrance to the only finished building.  “Home sweet home.”  You opened your arms and motioned to the one complete building among the other four that were halfway done.  “This one has electric and water hooked up already.  It’s where I’ve been crashing until I get some money pouring in.”  You said to David as the two of you headed up to the third floor.  

“You lied earlier.” He paused, a little hurt.  But when you hadn’t responded he kept talking. “So you live here?  Aren’t you afraid of getting caught?”  He looked around at how nice the place actually was.

“It isn’t going on the market for another three months and by then I should be long gone.”  You picked the lock and opened the door to the fully furnished apartment.  

“Wow.”  He looked around, taken away by how nice and normal it looked.  

“Yeah, this is the one they’re going to use as a show room.  Riskier to crash here, but it has all the comforts.”  You took the bag from him and placed it on the counter and headed to wash your hands to start cooking.  As you cooked, he watched.  Conversation was minimal but it didn’t bother you. Being with another person for once was nice.  But just as you had been finishing up the almost-but-not-quite-Ratatouille dish, David started to act odd.  “Hey, you okay?”  You asked him when you noticed that pain washed over his features.  

“Bathroom?”  He asked through gritted teeth.  It was the same pain you saw at the farmers market but it was amplified now.  

“Down the hall, last door on the left.”  You said, worried for him.  He didn’t say another word, just got up and rushed down the hall.  You wanted to check on him but you weren’t sure how to go about doing that to the man you had just met.

David was gone for maybe a half an hour before you heard him come out.  He was slow moving down the hall and when he came in and sat down at the counter facing you.  You saw the beads of sweat that covered his forehead.  “You alright?”  You asked, handing him the only kitchen towel you had.  He looked at it and then you with a quizzical expression.  You motioned towards his head.  He took it and wiped away the sweat.  

“Thanks.”  His voice was groggy and he seemed distant.  

“I may have something for the pain.  Hold on.” You said, heading past him to the couch and retrieving a bottle of aspirin from another coat you had. “Here.”  You handed him the bottle then got him a glass of water.  He nodded his head in thanks and downed a few pills, then took some long gulps from the glass you handed him.  “Care to talk about it?”  You asked, not wanting to pry but you wanted to help.  

“Nothing you can help with.” His voice clipped with annoyance when he spoke.  

You shrunk back slightly before fixing him a plate.  “Eat, you shouldn’t take those on an empty stomach.  And Twizzlers don’t count as food.”  You smiled, trying to ease the tension between the two of you. He gave you a tight smile at your comment and looked at the plate with hungry eyes. “It’s Ratatouille, well it’s some of the ingredients of Ratatouille, with a side salad of lettuce and left over raw veggies.”  You gave him the explanation of the plate in front of him as he shoveled the food into his mouth.  

“I’m schizophrenic.” He said between bites.  “I hear voices, have hallucinations.”  

You were a little shocked he opened up to you so quickly, but you felt a sense of connectivity between him and yourself now.  “That’s no reason to live off of Twizzlers, David.”  You smiled, getting a laugh of out him.  

“You aren’t going to kick me out?”  He seemed a little surprised.  

“Why on earth would I kick you out?”  You asked, upset he would think such a thing.  “We just stole like fifty dollars worth of produce together.  As far as I’m concerned I’d say that’s a real bonding experience.  Plus you haven’t done anything to warrant getting kicked out of the apartment I’m squatting in.”  You laughed, fixing yourself a plate and taking a bite.  “If you want I could use your help getting to Greg the Wall Street big shot.  If you’re up to anyway.”  You offered him a job.  “I’ll give you a cut if we don’t get caught.  Plus I could teach you a few things about being a con artist.”  You smiled, taking another bite.  Watching him think over your offer you saw a small grin appear on his features.  “Cool! You can crash here too if you want. If you don’t have anywhere else to go.” You offered but he shook his head.

“My friend will be wondering where I am.”  He said with the last bite of food in his mouth.  

“Well they can stay here too.”  You offered but he shook his head no.  

“No, Lenny can’t come here.” He sounded afraid so you didn’t press it.  

“Well.  Okay, but the offer still stands.”  You gave him a genuinely warm smile.

The two of you talked some more, he wasn’t as talkative as you had been and seemed more interested in listening to your voice.  He seemed like he was still in pain, and he was more detached from you than he had been all day, but you could see he was trying to be present.  You thought it was a combination of needing a fix and his mental illness he opened up to you about.

When it finally started to get dark he stood up and headed to the door.  “I should really get going.  Lenny will be wondering where I am.”  He sounded more worried than anything.  

“I’m sure Lenny will understand.”  You reassured him, not really knowing what else to say.  

“Thanks, Y/N.”  He opened the door to leave.  

“I’ll see you around, David. Try to lay off the Twizzlers?” You didn’t offer for him to stay again, knowing he would only say no.  So you let him go.  Knowing you would see him soon and most likely with the Lenny person he spoke of. Since you had offered him a cut of your profit from the job you were working, you were sure to see the both of them. David was still a junkie and he would need cash or valuables sooner rather than later.  You locked the door behind him and went to bed.  Worried for how things would play out.    

[ealinginsider]

Northfield Allotments, our happy place

At the end of Northfield Avenue are the longest surviving allotments in London. They are a stunning haven amid the hustle and bustle of Ealing with a wide variety of wildlife. There are 141 plots with a wonderful community of plot holders of all ages including those with young families and many who are retired. There are over 70 people on the waiting list which is no surprise.

To bring the allotments to life for you, I would like to introduce you to three plot holders who really treasure the space and get a great deal from it. 

Hello Francesca, Alix and Mardien!

Hello! My name's Francesca.

I'm 38 and I live just around the corner from the allotments. I put my name down for an allotment in 2011 when my daughter was a baby and finally got my plot in March 2015. I had never done any gardening or growing previously, but living in a social housing flat with no outdoor space, I wanted some green space we would otherwise never be able to afford. 

When I got my plot it was overgrown with brambles and pretty daunting. I had no idea what I was doing and spent the first six months just digging and clearing. My daughter was four by then so she was big enough to help and over the first few months we both fell in love with it. It was amazing to have this space to transform. I get a sense of immense pride at having turned an overgrown untended plot into a useful, happy place to be.

If ever I'm in a bad mood, a walk through the allotments and some vigorous weeding will sort me right out. I love the meditative quality of gardening. It requires just the right amount of focus and attention that everything else just melts away. It’s brilliant be able to plant a seed, raise it, tend it, and at the end you get something to eat! We love growing potatoes (they're the most fun to dig up), raspberries, tomatoes, beetroot, parsnips, green beans, courgettes, carrots, peas and cucumbers. This year, none of our peas made it home because they all got eaten raw off the plant by hungry and excited children who just couldn't wait! 

I love living in Ealing and when I'm not at the plot I'm a big fan of our independent restaurants. Haru Sushi and Ramen in West Ealing does incredible Tonkotsu and The Walpole in South Ealing is always amazing, as is the Lebanese from Ya Sham.

Hi! I’m Alix.

I’m 36 years old, married to Ian and we have two daughters Lola (six) and Mina (two). We have lived in Northfields for nine years. This is the fourth year we've had our plot. We'd been on the waiting list for four and a half years.

A lot of produce is coming to the end of its season so we're getting the last tomatoes, cucumbers, courgettes, green and purple beans. That said, we have a few things that will last through the autumn such as squashes, as well as what will be the components of our Christmas dinner: potatoes, parsnips and Brussel sprouts.

I just love the green space. I grew up in the remote countryside so London was a culture shock when we moved here. The allotment is my place of calm and respite away from the crowds. I also have a stressful job so it really helps me unwind and provides much needed balance and perspective to my life. 

My girls really enjoy the freedom of the allotment which they don't get anywhere else. They are also learning some valuable lessons about the importance of nature and where our food comes from.

When I’m not in the allotment I love running round the many parks in Ealing or taking a (very) slow walk through them with my two girls. When we're not trying to consume our surfeit of courgettes, I'm often in one of Ealing's many amazing pizza restaurants such as Franco Manca, L'Oro di Napoli and Da Moreno.

Hello, I am Mardien.

I am 37, originally from the Netherlands. I have lived in London for 16 years with my husband. We live in West Ealing. We’ve had our plot for two and a half years now and were on the waiting list for a few years. Living nearby we always walked past the allotments fantasizing about having our own one day. Over three years ago we started volunteering on the monthly volunteer days the committee holds to maintain the site.  We were very excited when we got a plot offered to us for rent, we had a lot of clearing up to do when we got it but it was all the more fun to see it turn into the plot we love now.

We love having flowers on our plot including lots of big dahlias, sunflowers, cosmos and gazanias. We grow raspberries and apples, red and white onions, leeks, beetroots, potatoes, dwarf French beans, corn, butternut squashes and pumpkins, parsnips and carrots. The carrots and the dahlias won some awards at the local Ealing and Hanwell allotment show earlier this month! We also have a herb patch and a small pond with some frogs (one of which we call Bernie).

Pete (my husband) and I enjoy working on the plot together as a couple, and being in nature is important especially when living in a big city and leading busy lives. I have some health issues and spending time outside being active is hugely beneficial and the produce we grow is organic so that’s another plus. We have become friends with other plot holders and we have got to know the animals we share our site with too including foxes, frogs, birds, fish and cats. We love watching them go about their lives and their routines.

I work in Ealing and go to the Eden Fitness gym after work or during lunch hours sometimes. We mostly cook at home but if we do get some food out it’s Taste of Lahore for a takeaway or Kathmandu for dinner and Pho for lunch and The Forrester’s for a drink. I love visiting TK Maxx or the charity shops like Oxfam, Mary’s living and giving and Cancer Research for fashion bargains. 

Halloween Pumpkin Trail

Later this month, on Saturday 28th October between 3.30 and 7.30pm they will be opening their gates to the public for the annual Halloween Pumpkin Trail. I went last year and it was great fun with some fantastic spooky plots to see with the best pumpkin carving I have ever see... also tea and cake, mulled wine and beer. For more details and to see some very cute flying pumpkins click here 

Save Northfields Allotments

Unfortunately, Northfields Allotments face the threat of development. To read more and to sign the petition to save Northfields Allotments if you haven’t already done so, please click here.  

Read more in this recent article from the Guardian

Please do take a moment to give your support.

Follow Northfields Allotments

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Until next time! Enjoy the Pumpkin Trail.

Love,

Ellie

The Ealing Insider

xoxox

Photo credits - with thanks

Image 1 by Nabil Jacob, Pumpkin carving taken by David Fox, other images provided by Francesca, Alix and Mardien.