#we’re gonna book a weekend off soon and have a karaoke weekend!!

[girlfriendcore]

liverpool pics

[lovesosweeet]

KNOW IT ALL x THE BAND CAMINO

part 3

a calum hood songfic

read part 1 / 2

two years ago

Michael’s birthday had come and gone, but the whole thing had been planned by his fiancée. He loved her and he loved the weekend that she’d planned for them, but he wanted a proper weekend of being an idiot with his friends, rather than being on his best behavior and having a picture-perfect weekend that Crystal could share on social media. 

Cal could tell that Mike wanted a chance to be a blubbering idiot for a night or two. He knew that they’d all have to grow up eventually and stop doing the dumb shit at some point, but this year wasn’t the year that they grew up. They all knew it, but Cal was the only one who took action.

He booked an AirBNB in downtown Montreal and found a ski resort about 30 minutes outside of the city to spend a day or two on the slopes, knowing they’d spend the better part of the weekend drunk and acting like fools with each other at dive bars and singing karaoke. 

The place he booked was huge, so he told Michael to invite anybody he wanted. Because it was a bit last minute, not a ton of people were able to join. It ended up being the band, Roy, Brian, Tillie, and Tillie’s guitarist that they’ve all befriended over the past year and a half, Marco. 

Even though they were all flying in from LA, they all arrived at different times of the day. Cal had flown in last night to make sure everything was ready to go. He stocked up on booze, went grocery shopping, and scouted out the ski resort to make sure it would be suitable for a few “celebrities” to spend time at. 

Mike and Tillie had flown in together, of course, and it made Cal jealous. He’d been a sucker for Tillie since the night they met, but she was either entirely oblivious to it or simply uninterested. He hoped she was just oblivious, but he tried not to figure out which it was, too scared to truly consider the possibility that she wasn’t into him at all. 

Tillie’s contact photo lights up his screen as she calls him, and he answers instantly. He hopes it comes off as just being expectant of them, rather than someone who’d pick up as soon as humanly possible whenever she calls. Both are true. 

“Hi, Matilda,” he answers, smirking at the use of her full name, knowing it would make her annoyed. Tillie was fun to tease, but only if you weren’t faint of heart. You had to be ready and willing to be met with twice the amount of insult that you doled out if you wanted to talk shit to Matilda Beckett. 

“Shut the fuck up, Thomas.”

“Nice to hear your voice, too,” he dryly says. 

“We’re here. Come let us in or we’re gonna go have fun without you.”

“Coming,” Calum answers, already halfway to the door. He wants to spend the whole weekend by Tillie’s side.

Calum makes his way to the front door of the condo and then rides the elevator down to the lobby, where he finds Michael and Tillie dressed in nearly identical outfits. Both are wearing black joggers with black sneakers, along with black hoodies layered over turtlenecks. Tillie’s currently blue hair is partly hidden under a red beanie, whereas Mike’s blonde hair is topped off with a black baseball cap. 

The only other difference in their outfits is the white satin sash across Michael’s body that says “bride to be.” 

“What the fuck is that?” Calum asks through laughter, his eyes focused on the sash. 

“This idiot isn’t planning on having a bachelor party, so I’m forcing him to make this a bachelorette weekend.” Tillie says it so matter of factly, as if Calum should’ve known the reasoning without her explaining it. She’s already stepping into the elevator with her black suitcase rolling behind her and Michael following suit. 

They ride up to the floor they’re staying on and while they walk, Michael is on the phone with Crystal, talking about some “emergency” with their wedding planning. Tillie side eyes Calum, trying not to laugh at how little Mike obviously cares about the satin tablecloths Crystal wanted that are unavailable. 

Michael retreats to the balcony when they get to the AirBNB, leaving Tillie and Calum in the living room with their luggage. Tillie reaches into her hoodie pocket and pulls out a baggie of colorful candy.

“Brought eddies. Want one?” She asks and pulls out a small gummy to offer it to him. 

Calum eyes the candy. “Maybe later? Once everyone is here.” 

Tillie rolls her eyes. “You’re no fun.” She doesn’t say anything else before she heads toward the bar cart in the corner. She grabs the bottle of Casamigos from the top shelf, pops the lid off, and then takes a few gulps of the tequila. Wordlessly, she holds the bottle toward Calum. 

He’s already turned her down once, and he fears that, if he turns her down again, she’ll stop offering things. Thus, he takes the bottle from her and swallows a mouthful before handing the bottle back to Tillie. 

She’s smiling at him, a glint of cockiness in her eyes. “Didn’t expect you to be one to give into peer pressure so easily, Hood.” 

Truthfully, he wasn’t, but something about Tillie has him completely willing to do whatever she says. He’d jump off a cliff if she told him to. 

“C’mon, Tills. You know me better than that. A shot of tequila is nothing for me.”

She raises an eyebrow and then holds the bottle back out to him. “Okay, then take another.”

Calum hesitates before doing what she says.

He’s practically squinting under her intense gaze, her blue eyes piercing into his skin in a way that’s painfully pleasant to Calum. He’s grateful when Mike reenters the room, hanging up his call with Crystal.

“Okay, crisis averted. I’d like to go get a beer and a snack, if you guys are up for it,” Michael says. He notes the bottle of tequila in Calum’s hands but doesn’t question it. When Tillie is involved, substances are involved, and she’s known for being a bad influence.

Calum doesn’t get a chance to speak before Tillie does.

“Whatever the bride-to-be-slash-birthday-baby wants!” Tillie cheers.

Michael rolls his eyes. “Tillie, you’re younger than me. Why do you always call me a baby?”

Tillie smirks her classic smirk that makes something in Calum’s chest tighten. “Because you act like one. You’d all be so fucking lost without each other like babies are without their moms. Don’t worry, Mike. It’s cute.” 

Calum watches as Michael’s eyes roll again.

“Don’t test me, Matilda. This is my weekend, remember?”

Tillie cackles and shakes her head. “Yep, I know. Bachelorette trip in Montreal. Let me get changed and then we can head out?”

Calum and Michael wait in the living room while Tillie goes into a bedroom to get dressed and freshen up. Calum uses the time to text the rest of the gang for the weekend how to get into and out iof the AirBNB and shares his location with them so they can find the trio wherever they end up. 

When Tillie re-enters the room, she’s still wearing all black, but this time she’s wearing a long sleeve, black corset style top that has the tiny tattoos on her collarbones exposed, and tight black jeans cover her legs. She’s kept on her black sneakers and taken off the beanie, her hair now just laying straight over her shoulders. She threw on some makeup but not a ton, but, if you ask Calum, she’s the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen.

“Close your mouth, Thomas. Let’s go.” She walks up to him and lightly smacks his face, headed straight for the door without looking back. 

Michael snickers as Calum blushes, both of them following the sassy girl out of the condo once more. 

Countless shots of tequila, beers, and a few bites of Tillie’s edibles later, the whole crew is now in Montreal and well intoxicated at a dive bar. Tillie had coordinated with Ashton to bring more “bachelorette” items with him, so everyone is now wearing satin pink sashes that say “bride tribe” to match Michael’s. Some of the boys are wearing sparkly pink headbands that have penises attached like antennae while Michael has a veil clipped onto his baseball hat. They all look like fools, but Calum is happier than he’s been in a long time. 

Tillie is standing on a booth bench with Luke while they scream along to “Everytime We Touch” by Cascada. Calum is just staring, the weed gummy hitting him hard and he feels like his head is floating, smiling contently at the girl he’s been crushing on, hard, for so long. 

“Tommy!” Tillie yells. She’s incredibly high, but not too drunk. Drunk Tillie is talkative, whereas High Tillie is smiley and goofy. She’s had a cheesy grin on her face for the last 30 minutes. 

Calum waddles over to her, feeling like he’s wading through a pool. He used to hate that she almost exclusively calls him by his middle name, but now he loves it. She has a nickname for him, even if it’s not all that creative. 

“What’s up, Tills?” He asks. He barely has to look up at her, even though she’s standing on the bench. She’s so tiny. 

“If you’re gonna stare, you might as well do it up close,” she says, only loud enough for him to hear her. It makes his heart thud quick and hard in his chest and he blushes, but he doesn’t look away from her blue eyes. 

Tillie holds her hands out to him, offering to pull him up to stand next to her and Luke. He takes them, feeling on cloud nine because of the way she just flirted with him. When Calum is standing with Tillie, she doesn’t let go of his hands and moves them around while she continues to scream the lyrics of the song.

Calum is over the moon at the physical contact and relishes in the moment, singing and dancing along with her. The bar plays “Dear Maria Count Me In” next, then “What’s My Age Again,” and then, as soon as the opening notes to “Sweet Caroline” start playing, Tillie scrunches up her face in disappointment. 

“I’m not white enough for this shit,” she says, craning her neck to make sure Calum hears the words she says. “Wanna go to the patio?”

Calum, bewildered by her suggestion that they step outside, just the two of them, just nods quickly. “Yeah, sure, that works.”

She looks up to him with her eyes wide and a smile tugging at her lips. “Go get me a PBR and meet me out there?” 

Once more, he’s stunned, but wordlessly nods, stepping down from the bench before helping Tillie down to the floor. She mumbles something along the lines of ‘see you out there’ before she disappears, and Cal hurries to the bar to order her beer and another for himself. He also orders a shot for himself, needing an extra boost of liquid courage.

As he’s walking out toward the patio, Ashton stops him. “Where are you going?”

Cal’s cheeks flush. “Tillie and I are going to the patio.”

Ashton widens his eyes in surprise. “Oh, that sounds nice, I’ll join—“

Calum cuts his best friend off with an expression that begs him to shut up. 

Ashton then smiles and shakes his head. “Fine, I’ll give you your moment.” 

“I’ve only been trying for two fucking years,” Calum mumbles while grabbing the two beer cans from the bartender. “It’s under Hood,” he say to the bartender, who nods. 

“Good luck, Cal. She’s a tough nut to crack sometimes.”

Cal glares at Ashton. “No shit.” 

He’s walking out toward the patio before Ashton gets a chance to say anything else, a smile reforming on his lips when he sees Tillie outside, taking selfies with the city lights behind her. 

“Need a camera man?” Calum asks as he approaches her. She rolls her eyes and takes the beer from him, gulping down a few sips. 

“Nah, just wanted to post a picture to my close friends story.” 

Calum nods. He sips from his own beer can. It’s not silent, since he can still hear the music inside, but now that it’s just him and Tillie, he doesn’t know what to say. She makes him so nervous, but he’s so excited to have her to himself, even if it’s just for a moment. 

“Mike’s really glad you threw this whole thing together,” Tillie says, filling the air with conversation easily. 

Calum smiles. “He’d do it for me, so it’s only appropriate.” He gazes at Tillie, noting that her hair is now pulled up into a ponytail, a little sweaty from her dancing and being surrounded by so many warm bodies. Her lipstick is faded, almost completely gone, and her eyes are tinted pink. “I’m sure he loves the bachelorette shit you’re pulling, even though he’s being grumpy about it.” 

Tillie smirks at him. “Yeah, well, can’t let you steal the best friend title from me.”

“Excuse me! You stole it from me first!”

“Can’t help it that I’m cooler than you, Calum.” 

Calum frowns. She called him Calum, not Tommy and not Thomas and not Hood. He can’t disagree with her though. She’s far cooler than he’ll ever be. 

“Maybe we can just share?” He asks. 

Tillie smiles. “I don’t share, Thomas.” 

Something comes over Calum and the words he says shock even himself. “You’d never have to share me, Matilda.” When he realizes what he’s just said, his whole face turns bright red. 

Tillie doesn’t say anything, she just nods. She keeps drinking her beer, but when she pulls the can away from her mouth, Calum realizes she’s smiling.

“You know,” she starts, “I thought you were scared of me for a very long time.”

Calum laughs. “I was. I mean, hell, I am.”

She grins. It’s a wicked grin that makes her eyes sparkle. “Good.”

Calum snorts before he and Tillie both fall into a fit of giggles. 

“It’s a good scared, though, Tills. Makes me want to talk to you even more, even if it scares me.” 

Tillie’s expression turns unreadable and she keeps sipping from her beer can. Her eyes focus on the metal tab, and her fingers follow suit, fiddling with the small piece of metal. Eventually, she sighs.

“I feel like you have me on this pedestal, Cal. And I haven’t earned it.”

Has Tillie always known I’ve had a crush? Calum thinks.

“I don’t have you on a pedestal, Tillie. I just…” he trails off. He wants to say he’s practically in love with her. He can’t say that, so he just doesn’t finish his sentence. 

She shakes her head. “However that sentence ends, I don’t deserve it.”

Calum is bewildered. Tillie, the confident, snarky, sassy girl that he’s spent countless days with, is insecure. How had he not seen that? How could she be insecure when she’s so… Tillie? Tillie is loud. She’s sure of herself. She doesn’t give a shit. She does what she wants and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.

As if she can read his mind, Tillie continues. “I’ve done some fucked up shit, Calum. You’re too… nice for me.” 

He raises his eyebrows. “I’ve done some fucked up shit, too, Tillie,” he counters.

Tillie snorts a laugh. “Yeah, sure.” 

Calum shakes his head. “Tills, we’ve all made mistakes.”

Her lips press together, her mouth forming a straight line. She debates dumping all of her past on him, right then and there. She won’t lie. She’s wanted to pursue Calum. He was kind and funny and she’s never slighted the fact that she found him incredibly attractive. She just thought he was way too good for him. He should’ve been with a person with way less baggage than she. 

“I’ve made too many big ones, Cal. Far more than it takes to disqualify me from being a good person.” 

Calum wants to scream. He doesn’t care if she thinks she’s a good person. He knows she is. She’s a good friend, a wonderful companion. She’s thoughtful and he thinks she’s the funniest person he’s ever met. Her confidence is irritatingly high, but he loves that about her. It’s a quality he wishes he had. 

“I don’t believe you.”

Tillie rolls her eyes. “Whether or not you believe me, Cal, it’s true.”

Calum takes the chance to roll his eyes back at her. “I don’t believe you. I have zero confidence that it’s true, Tillie. Your heart is too big.” 

She has to hold back from pouting out her lower lip. “I’ve fucked up, big time, too many times—“

“Try me,” Cal says, cutting her off 

“What?”

“Try me. Tell me one of these big bad things you’ve done and I’ll tell you if it makes you a bad person.”

Tillie looks like she’s on the brink of tears, and Calum suddenly feels horrible for pushing her to this point. She takes a big, deep breath before she speaks again.

“No judgment?” She asks. Her voice is smaller and more shy than he’s ever heard it.

Cal shakes his head. “I could never judge you, Tills.” 

She takes a deep breath. “My sister got kicked out of our house because of me.” 

When Calum doesn’t say anything, she takes it as a cue to keep talking.

“My parents found a stash of weed in our bathroom. It was mine. We both knew it was mine, but I was young and dumb and I said it was hers. I found a picture of her smoking with friends on her ‘finsta’ and showed it to my parents as proof. I didn’t think they’d kick her out. I thought they’d be pissed, ground her maybe, but I didn’t think she’d be kicked out.k” 

She lets the words sink in for Calum, but he seems unfazed.

“And you were how old?”

“Like 15, but—“

“Tillie, you were young and stupid. You clearly regret it. Sure, it wasn’t a good thing to do, but it doesn’t make you a bad person.”

Tillie still looks upset, but she puts on a front and smiles. She’s good at faking it, and it makes him wonder how many times she’s done this around him and he hasn’t detected it.

“I haven’t talked to her since the night they threw her out,” she confesses. She’s staring at her beer can. 

“Have you tried to reach out and apologize?”

“She calls me like every other month and leaves a voicemail. I just don’t answer.”

Calum’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Why don’t you answer?”

“I’m scared.” 

“Tills, it sounds like she just misses her sister if she’s still calling you regularly,” Calum tells her, trying to reassure the girl that she has no reason to be scared. 

Tillie doesn’t say anything in response. Her eyes stay trained on her beer. Calum wants to hug her or hold her hand, but he doesn’t know how she’d react, so he keeps his hands to himself. He’s already making leaps and bounds in his quest to pursue her by simply being alone with her. He doesn’t even care that it’s cold as shit outside. He’s with Tillie and she’s telling him things. 

“I’ve never told anyone that,” she says to break the silence.

“That you’re scared?”

“No. Well, yes, but the whole thing. I’ve never told anyone what I did.”

Calum tries not to lose his shit. She trusts him. She trusts him enough to tell him something she’s never told anyone. 

“It’s not good to keep everything bottled up, Tills,” he says. “Thank you for telling me.” 

Tillie laughs quietly and shakes her head. “You’re just so… nice.” 

He raises his eyebrows in response. “Thank you?”

She giggles then, and Calum is happy to hear the sweet sound. He’s not used to her being anything but lively and confident. The insecure and scared girl he just saw for the first time wasn’t the Tillie he knows. 

“You’re so soft. I feel like I’ll break you if I look at you the wrong way.” 

“I’d let you break me any day of the week, Matilda.” 

That must’ve been the right answer because before he knows it, Tillie’s kissing him, her hands tangled in his curls. He’s taken aback but entirely happy about it, kissing her back instantly. 

He has no idea what he’s just gotten himself into.

read next part

[vxlkyrie]

through my lens

pairing: spencer reid x reader

genre: fluff (god so much fluff), friends to lovers!au

warning: mentions of alcohol, cursing

word count: 4.8k

summary: spencer comes up with the best birthday gift a girl could ask for – along with the best confession

a/n: hey y’all, it’s been a hot minute. i apologize for going m.i.a. for a bit and only reblogging fics and gifsets. i’ve been trying to give myself a little break from writing after finishing my classes for the semester, and then i found myself having writer’s block. but now i’ve found the motivation to write again! i’ve gotten into criminal minds during this quarantine, and became whipped for reid. so why not start writing for him? hopefully i can write more for him. and with that said, i hope you guys enjoy this fluff-filled oneshot!

everyone in the bau had their hobbies. spencer loves to read, penelope knits, hotch golfs on weekends – just to name a few. 

when you weren’t creating profiles and catching unsubs, you were roaming around d.c. taking photos of literally everything. a rose bush, your lunch at the cafe down the street from your apartment, the beautiful cotton candy sunset. you were seen always taking a picture, whether it was with a dslr, a polaroid, or simply your phone. you also took pictures of the bau team whenever you all decide to hang out. 

a night at the club? pictures of emily, jj, and penelope drunk off their asses while grinding on each other. 

dinner after successfully closing a case? pictures of derek and spencer having a mini food fight and hotch trying to stop them. 

christmas sleepover at rossi’s mansion? pictures of rossi cooking and the ladies making cookies. 

jj’s wedding? pictures of the blushing bride and groom and everyone slow dancing with each other (until derek pulled your camera out of your hand and forced you to dance with everyone). 

let’s just say you have a wall filled with polaroids of your second family.

photography has been a passion of yours for the longest time. although, when you first started in the bau, you felt like a burden you stated taking pictures of the team in their happiest moments. but over the years, everyone assured you that it was fine and even encouraged you to continue, which made your heart flutter. 

but what made your heart flutter even more is when a certain doctor asks you for tips on how to get into photography.

“hey y/n!” a male voice greeted you while you were working on paperwork. you snapped your head up to see spencer giving you a small smile as he leaned on your desk.

you became close with the doctor shortly after you joined the unit. probably because you two were around the same age, but also probably because of the similar interests you two had. 

he would come over to your apartment frequently for movie nights and whenever he just wanted to unwind after a case and didn’t feel like going back to his place. 

the first time he slept over, you had to apologize for the lack of literature books on your shelves that were filled with scrapbooks instead. he told you it was no problem and found himself getting lost in one of your scrapbooks.

“no way! is that y/n in high school?” he practically squealed.

“what?!” your eyes widened as you ran towards spencer and attempted to get the embarrassing scrapbook out of his hand, only for him to lift it high into the air and out of your reach.

“why didn’t you tell me you wore glasses? you looked so cute!” he laughed as he looked up at the scrapbook that he held above his head.

“i looked horrible! give it back!” you whined.

“only if you can reach it.” he smirked.

“fuck you. you just had to be 6′1.” you pouted as the doctor continued to go through the rest of your scrapbooks (he especially enjoyed going through the scrapbook that was filled with pictures of the team).

and even though you complained the entire time he went through your collection, you couldn’t help the butterflies in your stomach as your feelings for spencer grew.

“what’s up, doc?” you beamed back.

“nothing much. i just wanted to ask you something.” he said as he fumbled with his hands.

“yeah, what is it?” you asked politely.

“i-i want to learn more about photography, and i was hoping you could help me?” he answered softly as a tint of pink spread across his cheeks

god help me, he’s so cute.

“yeah of course!” you chuckled. spencer’s eyes lit up with joy as he smiled wider. “what do you need help with?”

“well, the basics, and what kind of camera to use. although, i’ve heard digital cameras have been getting more expensive these days. maybe it’s because more people are getting into photography. i’ve seen a lot of websites that garcia showed me where people are starting photography businesses and i- i’m rambling again, aren’t i?” spencer scratched the back of his neck. 

you weren’t one to cut spencer off while he’s talking. mostly because he looked so attractive while doing it, and it still baffles you how that’s possible.

“it’s fine spence,” you softly smile at him, which caused his heart to speed up a little. “and honestly, using your phone is a great start into learning basic photography.”

“really?” he quirked an eyebrow.

“yeah, give me your phone,” you asked, holding out your hand. he pulled it out and handed it to you. “i know you’re like a technophobe, but this little guy is pretty useful, especially when it comes to photography.” you explained as you opened the camera app, showing him the different features on it. “now here’s a grid. ever heard of rule of thirds?”

spencer shooked his head, which surprised you.

“oh really? well basically...” you started to speak.

spencer started zoning out. he already knew what the rule was, but he just wanted an excuse to stare at you.

the resident genius has been in love with you ever since you joined the unit. and his feelings grew even more after finding out you both have a love for halloween and science fiction. but of course, he never acted on it. the poor boy was already shy enough, and after being rejected several times, he especially doesn’t want to ruin his friendship with you.

oh y/n, if only you knew...

“so overall, it’s a great way to line up your photos,” you finished explaining, turning your head to see spencer spacing out. “you okay spencer?” you waved a hand over his face.

“w-what? oh yeah, i’m fine. rule of thirds is my best friend when taking pictures. got it.” he blinked, making you chuckle.

“hey pretty boy, we’re being summoned by garcia.” a deep voice said as a hand slapped over spencer’s shoulder.

“hi derek!” you smiled.

“hey sugar,” he winked. “come on reid, let’s go.” derek turned to spencer. spencer nodded at the older man and started to walk.

“thanks again y/n!” he yelled over his shoulder.

“of course! if you need anything, just let me know!” you yelled back as you continued working on your paperwork.

“anything?” derek whispered, teasing spencer as they made their way to penelope’s office.

“stop. she was just teaching me some stuff about photography.”

“you are such a sucker for her. just tell her you like her already. we all know you both are in love with each other.” derek rolled his eyes.

“she’s not in love with me.”

“you have an iq of 187 and for what? you don’t have to be a genius to know that she feels the same way.” derek said as he opened the door.

-

“ah my lovelies are here!” penelope said as she hugged derek and spencer.

“what’s up baby girl?” the formal asked.

“i’ve already told emily, jj, hotch, and rossi this, but i am planning a surprise birthday party for y/n at rossi’s place!” she clapped joyfully.

“isn’t her birthday like a month away?” spencer raised an eyebrow.

“i don’t even think she remembers that her birthday’s coming up soon.” derek added.

“which makes this even easier,” penelope smiled. “the week of her birthday, we will be going over to rossi’s house after work and we will help decorate. the night of the party, spencer, you will be driving her to rossi’s. just say that we’re all meeting up to go to a club or something.” she quickly said.

“i guess that’s possible.” the younger boy slowly nodded.

“are you sure she isn’t gonna be suspicious that reid’s willing to go to a club?” derek asked.

“hey!”

“he’s a genius, he’ll come up with some excuse,” penelope said. “okay great. let’s go team! now get out please.”

spencer slowly walked down the hall that lead back to the bullpen.

what am i gonna get her this year? i already got her the whole star wars saga collection. this gift has to be more sentimental. 

he bit his lip in deep thought.

then suddenly, a light bulb flickered on above his head.

that’s it!

-

a month passes by quickly when you're working on cases mostly every day. 

there were a few times where you would have the day off or at least the night off after a long day at work. you spent those times with the bau, whether it was having a night in with the girls, checking out the costume stores with spencer (who cares if it’s nowhere near october?), or even a spontaneous night out at the karaoke bar.

the rest of the team have managed to sneak around during the week of your birthday, gathering party decorations and gifts, making sure everything is set up correctly before the big day.

spencer worked very hard on his gift for you, adding the finishing touches as he stored it in a closet that was filled with the rest of the team’s gifts.

set up for y/n’s birthday party – check.

and in a blink of an eye, it was your birthday and the night of party. the team was flying back from a case that took several days, and you want nothing more than to knock out on your bed.

“the night is still young! let’s all go out!” emily exclaimed as you all gathered your belongings in the bullpen. derek nodded his head in agreement, catching on to emily’s little scheme.

“hell yeah, i’m in!” jj responded. “how about you, y/n?”

“i don’t know guys, i’m pretty tired.” you yawned.

“come on y/n, you have to come with us.” emily pouted.

“what’s happening?” penelope walked in.

“we’re gonna hit the clubs, you in?”

“definitely. spence, you coming?” penelope looked at him as if she had telepathically sent him a message. spencer widened his eyes.

“u-uh, yeah. i’m in.” he gave a small smile.

“look y/n, even reid’s coming! you love clubbing with us. it’s gonna be a great time!” jj said as she held your arms. you sighed.

“fine. i’ll meet you guys in like two hours, okay?”

the ladies cheered in victory.

“perfect! let’s pregame at rossi’s and then we’ll all go together.” emily said.

“great! spencer, do you mind driving me to my apartment?” you said as you turned towards him. he shook his head in response and you both headed towards the parking lot.

get y/n to come over to rossi’s – check.

-

after you got ready, spencer drove to rossi’s mansion as you sang to throwbacks.

he changed into a simple black dress shirt and jeans (and of course, his converse) while you wore a black off-the-shoulder mini dress and heels. your makeup was flawless as well as your curled hair.

spencer couldn’t help but think you looked beautiful in this moment, and can’t wait for the surprise he and the team had in store for you.

soon, you two were parked in rossi’s huge driveway.

“she’s here!” spencer texted penelope as soon as he put the car in park. he ran over to your side of the car and opened the door for you.

“what a gentleman! thank you, kind sir.” you smiled and reach out for spencer’s hand as he helped you out of your seat. you two walked to the front door to see rossi standing with a huge grin on his face.

“hey rossi!” you greeted while hugging him. he grabbed your hand and opened the door and slowly let you in, with spencer trailing not too far behind. “where is everyone?” you asked as he led you to the dark living room.

“surprise!” many voices shouted. your eyes widened as the lights turned on, only to see your closest friends and everyone from the bau and their families smiling at you. even the kids were there.

there were balloons that floated onto the ceiling. foil curtains that filled up rossi’s wall (he wasn’t a big fan of it, but he was willing to hang it up because it was all for you). tables filled with drinks, food, and gifts. and don’t forget the banner that hung across the threshold leading to the backyard that read ‘happy birthday y/n!’

you felt yourself tearing up.

“oh my god!” you patted around your eye area. “i love you all, but goddamnit you almost made me ruin my mascara!” you yelled jokingly, earning laughs from everyone (even hotch).

“happy birthday!” rossi said as he hugged you and kissed your cheeks. everyone gathered around you to hug you, take pictures with you, and say their happy birthday’s.

“happy birthday, sugar.” derek hugged you.

“i honestly forgot that it was today.” you laughed as he joined you.

even spencer gave you a bear hug and a kiss on the forehead, which made your face heat up.

“happy birthday y/n.” he smiled at you.

you were in euphoria as the party went on. you were dancing with your best friends and the bau ladies (and derek) as music blasted throughout the backyard. everyone was occupied, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves, even spencer, who was having a beer while conversing with hotch.

“so when are you gonna tell y/n you like her?” he asked spencer who was looking at you like you’re the only thing in the world. spencer turned his head towards his boss.

“soon.” he smiled, sounding very determined.

“as much as i love seeing you guys dance your asses off, it’s time for the birthday girl to blow out her candles.” rossi announced.

everyone gathered around the table as you walked towards the table, seeing a beautifully decorated cake with lit candles placed in front of you. they all sang happy birthday (with hotch recording everything), making you smile from ear to ear while trying not to tear up again. soon, you blew out your candles, followed by cheers. rossi helped cut the cake and distributed it to everyone.

“as soon as everyone gets their slice, please go to the living room so y/n can open her gifts!” he shouted. everyone obeyed and started to walked back inside. spencer’s eyes widened.

shit. 

“you okay, kid?” derek asked, approaching spencer.

“uh, yeah?” he answered, clearing his throat as an attempt to try to hide his panicked expression.

“what’s got you nervous?”

“i-i didn’t know she was gonna open her gifts in front of everyone.” spencer practically whispered.

“why? what’d you get her?” derek smirked.

“i guess you’ll see.” spencer sighed.

-

everyone sat in the living room, facing you as you opened your gifts. every time you opened one, your heart melts even more.

when you opened rossi’s gift, you thought you were gonna pass out.

“rossi, i cannot take this!” you exclaimed as you held a box that contained a new camera. “this must’ve costed you a fortune!” you tried to give rossi the box, but he simply shook his head.

“you’re like a daughter to me, y/n. of course i had to spoil my child!” he said as everyone laughed around him.

“i can assure you buying that camera certainly did not put a dent in his bank account.” emily quipped. you thanked rossi with a hug and continued to open more gifts in your seat between spencer and emily.

you were curious when you lifted a slightly heavy bag from hotch. you gasped as soon as you looked inside to see a brand new laptop sitting inside.

“hotch, you shouldn’t have!”

“i know you recently broke your laptop, so i figured why not save you the trouble of getting one. you also deserve it after being such a great addition to the team.” he said, giving you a small smile as you hugged him.

emily bought you a ton of polaroid film and sd cards, as well as a bottle of wine – the key to a girl’s heart.

“these are exactly what i needed, thank you babe.” you kissed her cheek.

jj and will bought you a vinyl player along with a few vinyls from your favorite artists. they also added a few drawings of you that henry made that had ‘auntie y/n’ written on all of them.

“i am definitely putting these on my fridge.” you said as you lightly ruffled the little guy’s hair.

derek got you a pair of headphones (from the same brand as his) so you didn’t have to borrow his during the plane ride home.

“now we can both listen to our own music with our own headphones.” he teased, hugging you as you chuckled.

penelope’s gift had you screaming. you opened the box and moved the tissue paper to see a whole lingerie set laid out. spencer’s eyes widened as derek whistled, while hotch and rossi where trying not to laugh their asses off. jj immediately placed her hands over henry’s eyes.

“how did you get my size right?!”

“i have my ways.” she winked at you.

you had one more gift to open – spencer’s gift.

“you don’t have to open mine.” spencer whispered to you. you raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“why not? i opened everyone’s.”

“it’s not as good as everyone else’s.”

“spence, it doesn’t matter how expensive a gift is. you could literally give me a fake plant and i will love it until the day that i die.” you smiled at him, causing his face to slightly heat up.

“well, prepare to be disappointed because i definitely did not get you a fake plant.” he said. you scoffed.

“come on spence, how bad could it be?” you said as you pulled out an object from the gift bag. you curiously looked at it.

is it a book?

“what is it?” you asked spencer.

“well, o-open it.” spencer shyly said.

you turn the cover to see a collage of pictures. it was a small scrapbook. you examined the pictures only to realize they were picture of you. you started blushing as you flipped through the pages and recalled where several of the pictures have been taken. you didn’t even realize spencer was taking pictures of you half of the time.

-

you were having a sleepover with the girls, drinking and crying over captain america. you heard a knock on the door.

“must be the pizza guy, i’ll get it!” you stood up. you opened the door to see spencer standing there.

“hey y/n! ready to watch the new season of doctor who?” he clenched his messenger bag in excitement as he entered your apartment, shocked to see his coworkers sitting on the couch while the tv played.

“that was tonight? oh spencer, i’m so sorry. i completely forgot.” you said, feeling guilty.

“oh, that’s fine. we can always watch doctor who another time.” he reassured.

“how about you join us spencer?” penelope chirped in.

“i don’t want to intrude on your sleepover.” spencer shook his hands in front of him.

“yeah, come join us! you’re already here, and i think you left some of your pajamas somewhere.” you raised your eyebrows at him with a pleading smile on your face.

how could he resist when you’re looking at him like that?

“fine.” he gave in as the girls cheered.

as soon as he knew it, he was listening in on the gossip as the girls did each other’s nails. you laughed as you smeared a green substance on your face.

“what’s that on your face y/n?” spencer asked, earning a few giggles from emily and jj.

“it’s a facial, spence. it’s good for your skin. you want to try it?” you asked as you held out the container towards him. he nodded. “you want me to put it on for you?” he nodded again.

spencer tried his hardest not to blush while your fingers brushed against his face. he could smell the faint scent of mint from the facial along with the lavender from your shampoo.

“okay, and we’re done. wait for half an hour and then wash it off.” you said as you both took a seat on your couch.

once you started paying attention to the movie, spencer stole glances in your direction, watching you react to the movie. he couldn’t help but pull out his phone and snapped a picture of you (thank god his phone was on silent).

he smiled to himself one more time before putting his focus back onto the movie.

-

“spencer, what are we doing here? it’s july!” you said as you two entered the costume shop.

“it’s never too early to plan your halloween costume, y/n.” he laughed as you looked at the masks that hung from the wall. he busied himself, browsing through different costumes.

should i be frankenstein? maybe i should go for steampunk this year?

“check this out spence!” your muffled voice caught his attention. he looked to see you dancing around while wearing one of the masks. 

spencer laughed at you while you continued to dance in the middle of the aisle. he took out his phone and took a photo of you, not caring that your arms turned out blurry while you were flailing your arms around.

“that was fun,” you took off the masks. “anyways, what kind of costume are you going for this year?” you asked as your ran your fingers through your hair, trying to fix it.

spencer was too busy looking at you.

“spencer?” you said with confusion. “spence?”

he slightly shook his head.

fuck, she caught me staring.

“what? oh, i don’t know yet. how about you?” he asked back.

“hmmm, i’m not sure either. i might just play it safe and be a devil or something.” you said as you tried on headbands that had plastic horns glued onto them. you looked at the section next to the devil costumes and saw a bunch of angel costumes. you took one of the halos and placed it on spencer’s head, practically jumping to get it on him. “maybe you should be an angel this year.”

“you think so? why?” he asked, suddenly feeling shy.

“well, maybe cuz you are one?” you grinned.

spencer’s heart raced for hours afterwards.

-

“happy birthday to you! happy birthday to you! happy birthday dear emily! happy birthday to you!” the whole team sang as they raised their glasses to the girl of the hour. you couldn’t help but take pictures of everyone as they downed their drinks and hugged emily.

after the team found out it was the brunette’s birthday, you all collectively decided to spend the rest of the evening renting out a room at the karaoke bar to celebrate.

“thank you guys! i fucking love all of you!” emily yelled. you could tell she was tipsy. “now someone put something on, i want to get drunk and sing until my vocal chords explode!”

“well, actually, your vocal chords-” spencer started.

“shh, not right now spence. someone give me a microphone.” emily bit back. you patted your hand on spencer’s back.

after a few rounds of singing from everyone, you decided to do a number with the rest of the girls. you were in the zone, belting out notes you never thought you could do. but with a little bit of liquid courage, you channeled your inner whitney houston as you all sang ‘i wanna dance with somebody.’

hotch was recording (as always) as rossi and derek cheered you all on.

“let’s go baby girl!”

spencer was clapping along, watching you have the time of your life. he had the biggest smile on his face as he took pictures of you singing. he knew that he had it bad for you once you started dancing. but when he didn’t see coming was when you placed your hand on his and pulled him up to his feet.

“dance with me spencer!” you giggled as you whipped your head side to side. you definitely had too much to drink.

“come on pretty boy!” derek hollered. spencer started to pick up the rhythm and moved with you and the girls. the rest of the guys soon joined in and started dancing.

at times like this, spencer is grateful that he chose not to stay in.

-

as you flipped through the rest of the pages, you felt a few tears started to form in your eyes. you skimmed through the rest of the pictures. 

some of them were pictures of you sleeping. on the jet, on the couch in your pajamas during a movie marathon, on rossi’s bed in one of the guest rooms after having one too many glasses of wine.

some of them had spencer in it. once you taught him what selfies were, he took one with you every time the team flew out of state, or even if you two were just getting coffee before work.

there were some where you weren’t even paying attention and spencer was closer to the camera and made it look like he was squeezing your small head.

and there were even a few where you had your hand close to the camera. they were pictures of you when spencer would catch you off-guard. they weren’t the best pictures, but it felt right for him to print them out.

“spence, what are you doing?” you asked as you tried to push his phone away from your face.

“i’m just taking a picture of you!” he giggled.

“why? i look ugly!” you whined.

“no you don’t!” he blurted out as you playfully shoved his phone towards him as he continued taking pictures of you.

“sometimes, i really do hate you.” you joked, ignoring the fact that he said he doesn’t think you’re ugly.

you laughed at the pictures as your heart picked up its pace. aww’s were coming from everyone, making spencer blush an even deeper pink. you got to last page of the scrapbook. instead of seeing a page full of pictures, you saw a familiar handwriting that filled the page.

is this a letter?

“what does it say?” one of your friends asked.

you looked at spencer for permission to read it out loud. he hesitantly nodded. by the looks of it, everyone already knew why he made you a scrapbook, might as well go all the way.

you took a deep breath and started reading.

for the part-time photographer, full-time badass profiler:

dear y/n,

you have been a light in everyone’s life, especially mine. you brought happiness to a team during their darkest times, and you have always been there for me during mine. 

to the girl who is always seen taking pictures of everyone around her, you deserve to be photographed. 

through your lenses, i am one of the many people that fill up your scrapbooks and walls, but through my lens, you are the most beautiful person my camera has ever captured (and even then, these pictures don’t do you justice).

you are the kindest, brightest, and most breathtaking person i’ve ever met, and i am so lucky to have fallen in love with you.

happy birthday!

love, spencer.

you didn’t even notice the small pool of tears that sat over the letter. thank god the pages were protected. even penelope, emily, and jj were crying.

“oh, spencer.” you sighed as you pulled him in for a bone-crushing hug. he immediately hugged you back, placing his face in the crook of your neck. you pulled away to look at him.

“did you like it?” he whispered as he wiped away the stray tears on your face.

you smiled at him and leaned towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck and planting a kiss on his lips. he smiled as he kissed you back. loud cheers and applauds can be heard from around the room, but the only things you can hear are yours and spencer’s beating hearts.

“my man!” derek yelled. everyone pulled out their phones to capture this sweet moment.

you both pulled away from each other, not being able to wipe the stupid smiles off your faces.

“i’m guessing you liked it.” spencer quipped, making you laugh.

“i love it. and i love you too.” you grinned. 

spencer pulled you in for another kiss, until you hear several clicks. you turned to see everyone with their phones pointed at you two. you hid your face in his neck in embarrassment, spencer laughing as he held you.

“this is definitely going in the scrapbook.” he chuckled.

[oliveiraveiro]

what we keep inside

part 1 of 3 of The Weekend

Open Heart, Rafael x F!MC

series summary: Casey and Rafael try to face their respective feelings and be honest about them to each other. With Sora in the picture, what can happen in short three days? What will happen after?

chapter summary: Not everyone will have fun at the Edenbrook gala.

tags/warning: pining, eventual happy ending, rafael x sora, suggestive thought, mention of alcohol, verbal fight

word count: 2005 / ao3 link / part 2

Friday night.                                

Casey is spending it like how she always did; drinks and karaoke with her friends.

Friday nights are always good nights. It marks the end of her week at work. It is when she can truly relax and decompress from her cases, aside from spending quality time with her friends who are as busy as she is.

So as usual, she was giddy, a half-drunk cocktail in her hand as she watched and cheered Elijah as he belted out the lyrics to Sunflower by Post Malone and Swae Lee.

Casey had a blush on her cheeks that she has been feeling for about an hour now, and she had been smiling more than usual.

She keeps on telling herself it was just the drinks, but she knows deep inside that it had something to do with the brown-eyed man sitting in front of her who decided to join karaoke night tonight.

They were broken up, sure, and he is seeing someone else. But the times they hang out together, even just as friends, still made her happy. He still made her happy.

She steals a glance in his direction, only to find him already looking at her. They both smile at each other, and Casey blushes even more. She can only hope it was not too obvious.

“We’re friends with such singers, aren’t we?” she says with a smile.

“I certainly am. You really did good with your rendition of Famous. Always a Raleigh Carrera fan.” Rafael answers with a teasing grin.

Before she can flush even more, thankfully, Jackie interrupts. “Casey, you gonna buy a new dress for the gala tomorrow?”

Oh, right. The gala. She almost forgot about it already. She quickly noted her wardrobe in her head before answering no.

“I think I have a few that should work for the attire,” she smiles at her, glad for the needed distraction. “Are you? You should definitely check out my closet first, I have a gold formal dress that you’d absolutely love.”

Jackie smiles gratefully at Casey. “I will, thank you.” She turns her attention to Rafael. “How about you, Superman? It’d be nice to see you in a tux.”

“Oh, no, I’m not going.” Rafael says, shyly.

“What? Why not?” Casey was quick to ask him. “You always attend Edenbrook events. This has to be the biggest one yet!”

“Yeah, Raf. The fanciest, too. And the fact that the hospital won’t spend a dime on it is a plus in my book.” Jackie adds.

As soon as the word ‘fancy’ was said, Casey understood. She looks at Rafael with a small frown but does not try to speak again.

“Not the ones that require me to wear a tuxedo. Sorry, Jackie.”

“Aw, man, come on. I was hoping you’d join me to find one to rent tomorrow.” Elijah pipes in, now off the makeshift stage and back to join them.

“I can accompany you, sure, but I still won’t go. You guys know that’s just not my thing. But I do hope you have fun for me.” Rafael gives them a genuine smile.

Jackie is about to speak again, but Casey catches her attention and gives her a look to drop it, and she nods just a little.

“Well, if you change your mind…” Elijah says simply.

“Sure. I’ll…try to think about it more.” Rafael agrees. He ends up meeting Casey’s eyes, and he immediately gives her a sheepish look.

His mind is most likely not going to change, and they both know that Casey knew that. Reassuring him, she smiles and gives him a small wink.

She is just about to speak again to try and change the topic, but Sienna decides to join them again then, inviting her for a dance.

Casey agrees, letting Sienna take her hand, and before she can pull her into the dance floor, she gives Rafael a knowing look.

He smiles up at her again, his eyes lighting up at the familiar gesture, but Casey was pulled away by Sienna before she could see the also obvious elation in his eyes.

Saturday night.

To say that Casey looked beautiful is an understatement.

She is wearing an emerald green dress, matched with some black high heels that Rafael thinks can definitely be wielded as a weapon if needed. It only added to how sexy she looked. Her red hair is more wavy than her usual do, but is still swept to the side. She is wearing quite some makeup, but it suits her well, and all that is on Rafael’s mind as soon as he saw Casey tonight was how stunning she is.

Sure, attending this gala was far from how he planned to spend the night. But what happened already happened, and he is here now. He is more than thankful to be graced by Casey’s appearance.

He continued watching her rub elbows with some big-names, long enough for he himself to feel uncomfortable. Only then he realizes that he has been alone with his drink for quite a while now. With how much Sora tried convincing him that it will be such a great idea to attend tonight’s event, that it will be such a terrific date, he naturally expected her to be by his side. But only god knows which important person she is schmoozing with right now.

For maybe the twentieth time tonight, he lets out a sigh, finishing up his drink. Elijah! Yeah, he can probably try to find him.

Just as he is about to take another look around the room, Casey takes up his view. She gives him a friendly smile.

“Hey, stranger,” she greets. “Something wrong with your drink?”

Realizing that he is frowning, Rafael quickly schools his features, and for the first time tonight he grins.

“Something like that. I probably need something stronger, or-- actually I think beer is better.”

Casey laughs softly. “Not sure if we can find a pint, but we can probably help ourselves to a glass of whiskey. Or five.”

“Getting cozy with the rich and powerful exhausting you?” He asks her, seeing through her smiles and laugh, eyebrows furrowing again in concern.

“Barely starting and I am already very exhausted.” She sighs, easing off on the charm. “And you? You don’t look like you’re having a blast either.”

Rafael is grateful that she did not directly ask him what made him change his mind on going. But well, that is who Casey was. She hated confrontation as much as he did, which is why they were still friends, despite recently going through a breakup.

“Yeah, you know I’d rather be staying at home.” He sighed softly, looking down at his drink for a moment as he debated whether to tell her more or not. “Sora insisted that we attend. It was supposed to be a date, but…”

Casey nods as Rafael trails off, seeing how he is unhappy tonight, even more with talking about why he was. Still, she is unable to bite back a comment. “A date, huh?” she repeats.

Rafael chuckles, quick to realize what she means by that. On their first official date, he is the one who told her that he and the word fancy just do not fit together nicely.

Now he was here in this fancy gala, in a fancy tuxedo although rented, drinking a fancy drink. Casey can sense his discomfort, but although him being here tonight is not ideal for him, she thanks the stars in the night sky. He looks so dashing and handsome.

If he looked good in his casual clothes, he is mighty fine in black tie. It takes all of Casey’s concentration to meet his eyes the whole time and not check out his body and think about getting rid of his jacket, his bow tie, his vest, then proceed to unbutton his dress shirt slowly, all the while running her hands along…shit.

“I know,” he sighs. “At least I got to see you and spend time with you. And…the others…later.”

She grins at that, making sure she focuses on his face this time, nodding a little. “Come on, I know where they are. Elijah’s hell-bent on making everyone try playing poker tonight.”

Rafael gives her a surprised look, although he already starts following her.

“There’s a table labeled broke players only, I promise.” She clarifies and they laugh together as they head towards the rest of the gang.

“This was supposed to be a date night, Rafael! Surely you can’t possibly be mad at me that I’m upset to find you hanging out with your friends and ex-girlfriend.” About an hour later, Sora almost shouts as she follows Rafael out of the hospital.

Are you serious? Rafael thinks to himself, but he bites back his tongue. “I’m not mad, Sora, I just don’t think that was necessary or appropriate--”

“Why? Because you still like her? You don’t want me kissing you when she’s around?”

“You call that kissing? You could’ve sucked the lips out of my mouth! In public!” Rafael tries his hardest not to raise his voice but getting through her right now is just impossible.

Sora usually keeps her resolve. But when she gets drunk or tipsy, this foreign version of her, the one who loves fights, just comes out not to play but to yell at Rafael.

Actually, even without the influence of alcohol, he has been well-acquainted with her lately. Things between them have been less than perfect, obviously so, because this relationship, them, should be easy and comfortable, but for a few weeks now it has been anything but. They should really talk about it because their relationship turned out to be the opposite of both their expectations, Rafael notes in his head.

He will definitely not be putting it off anymore. He knows he already said that the last time they had a misunderstanding, but it will happen. Totally. He is not sure when, but surely, someday. Hopefully-- no, certainly, before she ends up deciding to break up with him.

“Look, I really don’t want to fight. All I want right now is to go home, so please get in the car and I’ll drive you to your apartment.” Rafael says in a calm voice.

“Let me guess, now you’re gonna tell me that you never wanted to go here in the first place? That you’re right about not wanting to go? And it’s all my fault that you’re flirting with your ex--”

“Sora, please, I swear to you I wasn’t flirting with--”

“Maybe I basically forced you to go with me tonight, Raf. That’s on me. But you were, and anyone with eyes would see all the sparks flying between the two of you. This is the reason why you didn’t even tell me you dated, right? This is why I had to ask specifically if you two had history.” She is finally calmed down, but somehow there is more bite to her words.

Dropping the hammer, Sora continues. “You still have feelings for her.”

Rafael inhales sharply, feeling the rising panic in his chest. “What- I- No…”

“I’d say you’re convincing me and not yourself, but I know better.” Sora chuckles humorlessly. “God.” she sighs deeply, rubbing her forehead with both hands in frustration. “I should’ve known better. Your heart is big, Raf, I’ve always known that. But not too big for me to be sharing your love with someone else, no matter how much you try to deny it.”

“Sora, please, let me just--” he tries to grab her hand, and she lets him, but he notices she looks past his shoulder.

“Talk to her, really talk to her. It’s about time you do.” Sora says, taking his keys. “I’m still buzzed so I’ll wait for you in the car. Take as long as you need.”

Rafael was confused for a moment, but he soon feels the eyes boring on the back of her head. He turns around, freezing upon seeing her.

“Casey…”

[alleiradayne]

Unconventional A J2 x Reader RPF Series

After a rousing evening of Friday Night Karaoke at the Supernatural convention, you’re tired and about to go to bed. But then a distinctly familiar laugh echoes through the hallway outside your hotel room door, and sleep is the last thing on your mind.

Part VIII - Emotional

Summary: What do you do after a weekend full of Jared and Jensen? Warnings/Tags: Angst. Like. A lot of angst. And some fluff... Characters/Pairings: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki/Female Reader Word Count: 5,032 A/N: For the love of everything good in this world, assume everyone involved is single or polyamorous. No. Wife. Hate. Allowed. This series as a whole will fulfill my Polyamory square for @spnkinkbingo but not until closer to the end. Beta’d by @atc74 because she’s awesome and managed to read this hella long buncha nonsense.

In the interstitial space between asleep and awake, your subconsciousness floated, adrift on an endless sea of unadulterated bliss. Dreams clamored for your attention, visions of salacious fantasies that teased at your senses. You lingered there between those worlds, between fact and fiction, desperate, anxious, and even a little scared. You struggled to shake the idea that, were you to awaken, that easy peace you had found would cease to exist, and a grim reality would replace it.

Hope. Some stray sense of hope had lulled you to sleep the night before. So, you latched on to it, to the sore muscles and warm skin and familiar sleepy breaths that marked a steady cadence in your ears. Most of all, you trusted that you were not alone, and that, when you did decide to shrug off your sleep, you would find yourself in the arms of two people that felt the same way as you.

Whatever happened next, you left up to fate, and opened your eyes.

The three of you had hardly moved in the night. Jensen yet lay on his back, his hand on your arm draped over his chest, and the other on your thigh crossed over his hip. Jared had curled in so close to your back, you could barely tell where he ended and you began. One leg laid over yours and an arm wrapped around your waist to hold you tight against his entire torso. Afraid to wake them, you did your best to remain still and waited for them to come to on their own.

You had expected to learn something unpleasant about at least one, if not both men overnight. Snoring, maybe drooling. Or needing to defend yourself from elbows and knees. But, no. Instead, they were perfect and slept sounder than the dead. Jensen’s eyes remained still behind his lids, undreaming. So close, you counted the freckles that dusted his nose and cheeks until you nearly fell back asleep. When you turned over your shoulder, you found the most incredible image of Jared you’d ever seen. The sheet had fallen off him completely—he must have kicked it off in the night—and his hair covered his entire face but for the tip of his nose.

As though he felt your eyes on him, Jared breathed in deep and exhaled with a contented hum through his nose. His arm squeezed you tighter for a hug as he buried his face in the crook of your neck and kissed you, his hair teasing your skin. A subtle sigh of your own roused Jensen, who rolled onto his side and entwined his legs with yours. When he found no space for his arm around your back, he reached further to envelop Jared in his embrace, his hand resting on his hip.

“Morning,” he whispered against your lips, then placed several short, sweet kisses there. “Sleep okay?”

“Slept great,” you said with a laugh, hoping to hide the quaver in your voice. “Although I imagine I was completely exhausted after last night.”

Jared sighed as he continued to nuzzle your neck. “It was… something else, that’s for sure.”

An unsettling hint of emotion distorted his voice, hidden like an undercurrent that threatened to sweep you away. Did he worry like you? Had he thought of all the implications, the impossibility of the situation?

“Y/N?” Jensen mumbled. “You okay?”

“I’m… fine,” you said with a sigh and an unconvincing smile.

He propped his head up on his hand and cupped your cheek. “What’s up, honey?”

You searched his eyes for the answer but found nothing except more questions. Over your shoulder you spotted Jared’s gaze averted, staring into the middle distance. “I don’t… what do we do now? Do I just… go home?”

Jared pulled his hair back from his face as he sighed but said nothing. A swell of pink colored his nose and brow as his eyes reddened, still staring off at nothing. When you turned back to Jensen, you found him staring at Jared, a knot of worry etched into his brow. “I’m afraid we all need to get back to reality.”

Your worst fear rekindled, fueled by Jensen’s truth. You knew, had known all along, that what you wanted was impossible. Where would you live? What would you do for work? And how would society in general even accept such a lifestyle? Could you keep it entirely private? Ceaseless questions spiraled out of control until Jensen interrupted your thoughts.

“Hey, no tears okay, I…” he paused with a hitch in his breath. “I can’t handle that shit, I’ll start crying, too. And Mr. Waterworks back there is probably already doing it, so I’ll be a mess in a few minutes anyway.”

With a deep breath, you did your best to rein in your emotions. “This sucks,” you muttered. “I want… I know what I want is impossible.”

“It is,” Jared agreed as he returned his lips to your skin. “But we feel the same way, if that helps.”

You turned to your back and the two of them curled in closer. “Our plane is leaving soon,” Jensen started. “We shouldn't waste any more time. Need to get some rest tonight since we're on call sheets tomorrow.”

“At least you got Monday off,” you said. “But… I almost regret it. You should have left last night. Before all this…”

Jensen rubbed your stomach as he spoke. “The damage had already been done. Last night was just a confirmation of how we all felt after Friday and Saturday.”

Great. You had ruined three lives in two nights. “I'm so sorry, guys. I wish I hadn't made things so messy. It was just supposed to be a fun weekend. I thought I could go home today and go back to my life but…”

“Trust me, Y/N, that's the last thing we want,” Jared sighed. “We’re as crazy about you as you are about us. But we do have to go.”

You promised yourself you wouldn't cry, but the tears welled so suddenly, you had no chance of holding them back. “Fuck, I'm sorry.”

“It's okay,” Jensen soothed. “We’ll never forget you. This con was one for the record books. It'll always have a special place in my heart.”

“Says the guy who hates chick flicks,” you replied.

“Oh, he's full of shit, he loves them,” Jared teased.

You raised a questioning brow at him as Jensen shrugged and said, “Guilty.”

His laughter filled your heart near to busting, but you fell quiet once more. Thank God for their mutual silence. For letting you lay there with them as long as you wanted. Maybe you would remember them better that way. Maybe, when you looked at the pictures you took and your photo op with Jared and their autographs, you would remember that exact moment, laying in their arms, above all others.

“It’s time, Y/N,” Jensen started. “We have to go.”

A frustrated grunt followed Jared as he quite forcefully shoved himself from the bed. Cold, you shivered in the void that replaced him, and though you wanted to reach out to stop him, you remained beside Jensen. Jared gathered his clothes and headed for the bathroom without even a cursory glance at the bed.

“This is gonna be really rough on him,” Jensen started as he pushed to sit at the edge of the bed.

You followed him and asked, “Why? What’s wrong?”

Jensen snatched his boxers off the floor and slipped them on. “I think he’s gotten quite attached to you,” he explained. “And he might not be alone.”

You looked to the bathroom door as you considered Jensen’s words. “Are you sure?” you asked as you hopped from the bed and gathered the scattered pieces of your clothes. Your suitcase sat on the other side of the room, and there you sorted through your clothes for something comfortable to wear on the flight home.

“Yeah,” Jensen nodded as he righted the sleeves of his shirt. His socks followed and he retrieved his boots near the door. He brought them to you and set them near the bed as he spoke.  “I’m sorry, Y/N, we never meant for things to get like this.”

“I know,” you said. “It’s nobody’s fault,” you continued as you slipped into a pair of underwear and a fresh bra. “And then again, it is everyone’s fault.”

You pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, then immediately slumped in Jensen’s arms again. Before either of you spoke, Jared burst from the bathroom, dressed and hair tamed. He paused a moment as he spotted you, then crossed the room for the door. Without another look, he wrenched the door aside and strode into the hallway. The door slammed shut after him, loud as a clap of thunder.

“Oh, I am so sorry, Y/N,” Jensen said as he kissed the top of your head. “He’s in a lot of pain.”

Numb dread chilled your toes and your tears stopped. “I understand,” you said. “You should go.”

Jensen parted from you with a pained scowl plastered to his face. “I hope to see you again.”

“Me too.”

He turned for the door and pulled it aside, but not without one last look over his shoulder. “Goodbye, Y/N.”

And just like that, the two of them vanished from your life. So suddenly alone, you slumped onto the foot of the bed and sat in stunned silence.

In the hallway, Jensen headed for the suite at the end of the hall and pounded on the door. “Dude, open up.”

The door swung wide without delay and Jared towered over him, face red and wet. “What?! I’m packing! We need to get going!”

When he tried to slam the door shut, Jensen blocked him and shoved his way into the room. With a disgusted scoff, Jared returned to his packing, slamming things into his suitcase.

“Look, man, I know this sucks,” Jensen started, “but what are we supposed to do? We can’t bring her with.”

“I know!” Jared bellowed. “Go pack so we can get the fuck out of here!”

He had not expected that. Hell, at the very least, he had expected Jared to fight back. But that? He couldn't argue with him.

Jensen turned on his heel and strode through the door. He stomped down the hallway, headed for the elevators, but froze as he reached your room. The image of your numb resolution returned to the fore of his mind, a fresh memory that mirrored Jared's anguish. And the longer he stood there, the worse he felt until the sting of his own furious tears welled in his eyes. Nothing would make things any easier than they were at that moment. So, he forced one foot in front of the other, fighting every desire in his body to say one last goodbye, and rounded the hallway for the elevators.

The call button opened an elevator door immediately and he rushed into it, eager to be on his way. But when the doors closed behind him and it lurched into motion, he wept.

The hour passed uneventful. The first fifteen minutes you hadn’t noticed. The next half-hour dragged. And another fifteen rounded out the hour. You had finished packing in the first five, then created other things to do for the remaining fifty-five. A few hands of Bridge on your phone consumed ten minutes. Social media consumed another fifteen. Work emails warranted at least twenty minutes before you remembered you sat in your hotel room and should head to the airport soon. And at ten minutes shy of the hour, you confirmed it took a mere twelve strides to cross your room.

You almost made it out the door before you spotted the watch on the bedside table. Silver with a bright blue face, it glinted in the lamplight as though it beckoned you. You returned to the bed, a heap of sheets piled atop it, and sat on its edge as you hefted the watch.

The frame of the face rotated under your thumb as you inspected the timepiece. It must have cost a small fortune. Given the side of the bed on which you had found it, you assumed it belonged to Jared. And after waiting over an hour for Jensen to return like had promised he would, you figured that, at the very least, you’d make some money pawning it.

The thought broke your heart. Tears welled and blurred your vision. It was the only thing you had left of him, the only thing to remind you of what had transpired that weekend. Sure, there were the autographs and photo ops. But his watch? That had to mean something, some sort of symbolism.

You shoved it into your suitcase and promptly forgot about it.

At the door to your hotel room, you wiped the tears from your eyes and steadied your breath. One last sweep of the room accomplished absolutely fuck-all besides tug at your heartstrings again. You could hardly look at the bed without wanting to scream. Best to just leave then, get to the airport a little early. Eat lunch, read, maybe even write. After that weekend, you had plenty of emotion to draw on for some particularly depressing scenes.

Through the door you pushed your suitcase and shifted your backpack on your shoulder. Without another look, you started down the hallway for the elevators. You couldn’t look back. If you did, you might never leave.

The door slammed with a thunderous crash as though a tomb had sealed shut on an expired life. Your mind blanked in the wake of that sound as you stared at the elevator. And then in a final fit of rage, you punched the call button with your solid fist, cracking the plastic and breaking open your knuckle.

“Shit.”

“Alright, we’ve got about an hour before we board, you wanna get a drink?”

Jared glared over the top of his book. “No.”

Jensen’s lips thinned to naught but a line as he pushed to his feet. “Fine, I’m getting a drink.”

“Don’t be late!” Jared insisted under his breath. “I want to get out of here.”

Jensen stopped beside him as he said, “You know, you could have at least said goodbye.”

When Jared rolled his eyes, Jensen scoffed and walked away for a nearby bar. Hopefully, he’d pick up a waitress and fuck her in the bathroom. Might help him get over Y/N. Then that way he’d stop bringing her up every five minutes.

Jared wanted nothing more than to forget all of it. As amazing as it had been, the pain in parting had been far too great for them both. Jensen rolled with it well enough. But Jared did not. Had he lingered any longer in her bed, he would have succumbed to his base desires and capitulated to everything Y/N wanted.

He couldn’t stand the thought of you thinking about him in that way, a blubbering mess and begging for you to uproot your life, to follow him across the country. Or God forbid he put his foot in his mouth and ask you to wait for the show to end, to wait for him to find some sort of normal life and return to you when he had the time. Fuck that. Fuck all of it. How could he ask you for any of that? What kind of asshole did that?

His phone chirped in his pocket with a short buzz. When Jared withdrew it and found a text from Jensen, he almost ignored it.

Almost.

Jackles: I can hear you thinking all the way over here.

Jared rolled his eyes as he slumped further into his seat.

Sasquatch: Then move further away.

Jensen’s response arrived a second later.

Jackles: Dude, I’d have to move to the moon to not hear your heart breaking right now.

Jared shoved his phone back in his pocket only to feel another text come through.

Jackles: We didn’t have to leave her like that.

Sasquatch: Will you just forget about it already? It was a one-night stand.

Jackles: Technically, it was two nights. THREE for her.

Sasquatch: I know! Why do you think I feel like such a giant piece of shit?!

He turned his phone to silent, shoved it into a pocket in his suitcase and returned to his book. At least they would be boarding soon, and after a nap, they’d be in Vancouver and back on set. He couldn’t stand to think about that weekend any longer, lest it rip his heart from his chest. Fuck, but he had been so stupid. He thought he could have some fun, share a woman with his lover, then move on. But Y/N had proved him so wrong, he damn near regretted everything that had happened since the moment you had found him in the hallway.

He stared at his book, reading the same passage over and over and retained none of it. After the fourth attempt, he threw it into his bag and stood in a huff. He should get a drink. Jensen was right, a drink or five would help. As he leaned down to retrieve his phone from his bag, he checked his watch.

Except he wasn't wearing his watch.

“Shit.”

The line for security had taken ten minutes. The walk to your gate, despite your very slow trudge, took two. The decision to get a drink at the bar took five. That left you with an hour before boarding.

Might as well get hammered.

At the end of the short terminal, your gate sat between two others and a bar. Empty, the bar seemed the perfect place to get smashed and forget the weekend had ever happened. Nothing better to get over a one-night stand than a wasted flight home.

If only it had been one night.

As you approached the bar, you spotted the bartender busied herself with cleaning and organizing, bottles situated and glasses gleaming. You wended your way through tables to the middle of the bar directly in front of her, sat down in a seat that had been angled askew, and found it warm. A subtle hint of a familiar scent teased at your nose, and you searched with a hurried glance in both directions, but as before, the bar remained empty.

Before your chair and angled against the rail sat a large iPhone in a black case, nondescript but for its worn-in use by a large right hand. When you settled, the bartender leaned over the bar and said, “What can I get you, honey?”

You looked up from the phone and handed it to her. “Double of Bowmore, neat. And this was sitting here.”

She took the phone from you and nodded. “Oh. Musta been that looker with that hat,” she started. “He had a big enough broken heart for both of us,” she said as she placed it by the register on the back counter. “He’ll be back, expensive phone like that.” She paused at the wall of liquor, grabbed the bottle of Bowmore off the middle shelf, then looked over her shoulder as she asked, “You said a double, sweetheart?”

“Yeah,” you sighed.

She poured out your drink and handed it to you. “’Nother broken heart, huh? You shoulda met that other fella. He was sittin’ right there not five minutes ago. Peas in a pod you two woulda been.”

You sipped from your glass as she rambled, half-listening. She went on about him for the better part of fifteen-minutes, about how crazy his weekend had been and how eager he seemed to be to tell her about the woman he’d met. But you sipped your drink, remained silent, and tuned her out. Not like you cared about some random fucking guy’s weekend fling.

“What about you, darlin’? What’s got you half into a glass of the hard stuff?” she chirped.

You stared at her for a second before you took a deep breath and said, “I fucked two famous dudes three nights in a row, the third of which was a threesome, and now they’re flying back to Vancouver to film their TV show.” A sip of your drink punctuated your statement, and the clunk of the heavy glass on the bar closed the topic.

Big brown eyes started at you for a beat before the bartender burst into laughter. “Oh, sweetheart, you are quite the character,” she said as she poked buttons on the screen of her register.

Of course, she didn’t believe you. Who in their right fucking mind would believe such a ridiculous story? Hell, if someone else had told you a story even remotely like yours, you’d laugh in their face, too. But that was before the absolute insanity of that weekend.

“I broke up with my boyfriend and I’m flying back home,” you said, and you hated just how close that came to the fucking truth.

“Oh, honey. I’m sorry. You’ll find another, pretty gal like you,” she said as she returned to her cleaning.

More small talk crossed between you for several minutes before she returned to talking about her previous patron, surprised that he hadn’t yet returned for his very expensive phone. While you listened, you retained hardly anything she said, choosing instead to continue thinking about nothing. The bartender blathered on, her endless gushing about wide brimmed hats, freckled noses, green eyes, full lips, and big shoulders boring you to… to…

Son of a bitch.

“Give me that phone.”

The bartender stopped mid-sentence as though she had been punched in the gut. “Excuse me?”

“The phone. I know who it belongs to,” you stated.

“I can't do that, he might—oh, good timing!”

You caught a subtle whiff of his scent before you heard your name all but sung in his perfect baritone.

“Y/N.”

That sound should have sent a shiver up your spine, put a quake in your knees. Hell, it should have ruined your god damn underwear. A voice like that was most women's wet dream.

But for you, it was your worst nightmare, and your heart broke all over again.

His hand enveloped yours on the bar before you turned to him. If you looked at him, it would all be over. There would be no turning back, no going home. At least in the hotel, it had been quick, like a band-aid ripped from your skin. The sting of parting ways had been sharp, but short. Nothing but a dull ache left you sore. But that wound would open again if you looked.

“You got my phone back there, sweetheart?” he asked the bartender.

You kept your eyes glued to your drink as the bartender silently handed Jensen his phone. “Thanks.” He returned his attention to you as his fingers slipped into your palm as you gripped his hand tighter than a vice. “You can keep squeezing, honey, but it ain’t gonna break.”

“Dammit,” you choked with a laugh despite your impending tears.

“Come here,” he insisted as he coaxed you from your chair. Not that he had to do much convincing. You slipped from the stool and wrapped your arms around his waist as Jensen held your head to his chest. “God, am I glad you’re here. But I didn’t realize you weren’t from town.”

“Jared knows,” you started as Jensen parted from you. Eyes still averted, you continued. “I showed him my driver’s license, remember? That’s why he wanted to get out of here so bad.”

“Y/N, can you at least look at me?” he asked as he cupped your cheek. “Please?”

You shook your head with a firm frown. “I can’t. You said goodbye already, I can’t go through it again.”

“I’m sorry,” he said as he took both of your hands in his. “I never meant for things to go this way,” he continued. “Please, just look at me.”

Over the intercom, a boarding announcement began. Jensen groaned as he cursed, then leaned into your ear and whispered, “Honey, I'm begging you, please look at me.”

“If that's your flight, you should go,” you said. “It's for the best.”

His knees hit the floor before you said another word, and his green eyes—red and full of tears—bored into yours. “If you won't look up at me, then I'm gonna do this on my knees. I want you to be at the next con.”

The pit of your stomach dropped as though you rode a rollercoaster. “What the fuck are you doing, Jensen, get up,” you hissed as you tried to pull him to his feet.

“No. I need to say this to your face, not the top of your head, and you refuse to look at me,” he said, “so you've got me on my knees for probably the third time this weekend. And I’m begging, also probably for the third time this weekend.”

You gawked at him, his words brazen and unrepentantly lurid. “Stop that!” you demanded as you looked at people slowing to watch.  “Get up, you're making a scene.”

“Fuck those people,” he said as he tossed a cursory glance at onlookers. “If they wanna watch, let 'em. I perform better with an audience anyway,” he added with a coy smirk.

“Jensen!”

“What?” he laughed as he wiped his tears away. “C’mon, Y/N. Come to the next con. We’ll fly you out, you can kick it in the green room all you want. We mostly just sleep in there.” He paused with a thoughtful gleam in his eye. “Although, there was that one time Jared and I were alone—”

“Seriously?!”

“Yeah, it was pretty hot, he just bent me over the arm of the—”

You clamped a hand over his mouth before any more salacious details of green room sex spilled out. “Cut it out!”

“Say you'll go to the con,” he started when you removed your hand. “I want you to come with us to Vancouver right now,” he added. “But I know that's not—”

“I'll go.”

His mouth shut with a click of his teeth. “To the con?”

You leaned into his embrace as a nervous twitch of a smile tugged at the corner of your lips. All or nothing. That had been the truth of it since Friday night. And the further into the weekend you went, the harder it had been to ignore it. You wanted everything they had to offer and you were willing to make the biggest sacrifice for it. So you dove in headfirst despite that welling sensation in the pit of your stomach.

“Both. I can do Vancouver for a few days. And the con next month,” you said.

How could his eyes shine any greener? They were the stuff of fairytales. So full of hope, he asked. “Really? What about the cons after that? Can we fly you out every month?”

His arms wrapped around your hips to grasp your backside as yours encircled his shoulders. “Hell yes. I don’t know why you didn’t ask in my room.”

The floor left your feet in a rush as Jensen stood, legs wrapped around his hips and holding you so tight, you felt as though you might burst. With his lips against yours he spoke. “I don't either, honey. All I know now is that we should have.”

He barely gave you a moment to breathe before his lips landed on yours. Relief so sweet coursed through every fiber of your existence. Cleansed of your apathy, you gave yourself entirely to Jensen and never looked back.

Countless seconds passed before the intercom interrupted the moment again. Jensen parted from you with a curse and set you on your feet. “That’s our flight.”

“Jen?!”

Jared’s bark of yell sounded around the corner of the bar as he loped into sight. The second your eyes met, he stopped dead in his tracks, nearly stumbling to a halt. For a single beat of your heart he stared, wide hazel eyes flashing so bright with suddenly renewed hope.

He said not a single word. Three long strides crossed the space between you, his towering frame bearing over you as he picked you up in his massive embrace. His lips landed on yours for a firm, desperate kiss that lasted far too few seconds. When he parted from you, he spoke. “Fuck, I missed you.”

“We were apart for two hours,” you muttered into the crook of his neck. “Speaking of which, I have something of yours.”

As he set you on your feet, you dug into your pocket and withdrew his watch. When you handed it to him, he wrapped your fingers around it, his massive hand enveloping yours. “Keep it. That way you'll always remember our time together when we’re apart.”

Thank God for Jared's emotional perception. As the tears threatened to return, one hand dove into your hair at the nape of your neck and you melted into his embrace as the other circled your hip. He pressed closer, and damn all the extra eyes and gawking mouths that fell open as they stared. His lips found yours for another kiss so tender, so full of need, you worried the bathroom on the airplane might not be big enough for the both of you.

When he parted from you once more, his eyes fluttered open, wide and bright despite the dim bar light. Several long seconds ticked by until the intercom announced the final boarding for Vancouver. Jared glanced overhead, then returned his gaze to you. “I think I love you.”

“I think I knew that,” you started, “And I’m pretty sure I love you, too.”

“I’m going to throw up.”

Over your shoulder you glared at Jensen and said, “And I’m damn near certain I love you, too.”

Jensen's derisive gag started a fit of giggles in you. When you turned back to Jared, he said, “Now or never. What do you think?”

You smiled as you took Jared by the hand and headed for the gate.

“I think you've picked yourselves up a stowaway.”

Fin

Reblogs and feedback are awesome. If you want in on the tags, send me an ask or a DM!

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@atc74  @hannahindie @bevans87  @meganwinchester1999  @plaided-ani-on-hiatus  @oneshoeshort @jonogueira @andkatiethings @elfinmox@wonderfulworldofwinchester @princessofthefandomrealm  @just-another-busyfangirl @jmekitchens @81mysteriouslyme @dolphincliffs  @seenashwrite  @canadianspnhunter  @meowmeow-motherfucker @depressed-moose-78 @staycejo1 @hobby27  @pretty-fortune @mypopculturediva @fanfictionjunkie1112 @sandlee44 @4llmywr1tings @claitynroberts @maddiepants @scarletluvscas @donnaintx @blackeyedangel9805 @rainflowermoon @winchesterprincessbride @lazinessisalliknow @the-is13 @waywardafgrandma @keymology @sister-winchesters99

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@supernatural-jackles @jerkbitchidjitassbutt

Unconventional:

@wayward-and-worn @evansrogerskitten @squirrelnotsam @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @pink1031 @kutie-stans @aomi-nabi @wilde-abandon@samwichesterssexyface @heavensheadbitch @amandamdiehl @thatonecurlygirl @deans-baby-momma @crookedslimecreatorpasta @stoneyggirl

[brettonio-one-chicago]

Unbreak My Heart

This is one I’ve had in my head for a long time.  We all know that Sylvie can sing, and we know that in real life, Jon is a talented musician and can sing himself... so I figured why not have a different way of getting them back together... karaoke!  I don’t own any of the songs, videos or music... but they are the inspiration for this story.  Main inspiration: “Unbreak My Heart” by Toni Braxton.  Credit to the creator of this amazing picture too!  I recommend listening to the song while reading... Link will be in the story!

Without further ago... Unbreak My Heart...

Sylvie was still reeling from Antonio’s bomb of ending the relationship.  It had been a few months but she still ached for him.  Yeah, sure, they’d moved their relationship very quickly, but she still couldn’t figure out why their relationship had ended the way it did.  Sure, Laura was a bitch and had no reason to show up at 51 and attack her the way she had.  Sylvie groaned.  She was the one who then attacked him.  She’d been angry, but she shouldn’t have blamed Antonio for all of this.  She felt the guilt each and every morning.  That same guilt attacked her when she saw Matt and Gaby together, smiling and laughing.  They were so in love and it ambushed her one last time when she laid down in her empty bed alone.  She took a shaky breath and wiped her tears.  She wasn’t going to let her emotions ruin karaoke night.  Herrmann, Gaby and Otis had put too much into it.  She checked her appearance in the mirror.  She groaned.  Her mascara was ruined and running down her cheeks.  She grabbed her make up wipes and took it all off.  She then grabbed her make-up kit and started over again.  She luckily had another hour before her ride was expected.  She worked carefully to recreate her smokey eye look.  She then subbed out her traditional mascara for a waterproof one as well as a different eye liner.  She then had to figure out what she was going to wear.  

She stared at her closet.  She had a multitude of cute dresses she could wear.  She lingered at her favourite little black dress but the last time she’d worn it, she’d been out with Antonio.  She realized that most of her cutest outfits were ones she wore when she’d been on a date with Antonio.  Her chest tightened.  She needed to pick something.  It’s not like Antonio was going to be there now anyhow.  He was an investigator for the State’s Attorney, he wasn’t going to have time to come to a karaoke night at Molly’s.  She decided on a red lace dress.  Maybe she’d be lucky and someone at the bar would buy her enough drinks to temporarily forget how bad the heartache was.  

She was slipping her pumps on when her doorbell rang.  “Coming!”  She shouted.  She grabbed her clutch, a jacket and headed out the door.

“Antonio, come on!”  Gaby begged her older brother.  “You love music, dancing... please?”

“I do love music and dancing, but there isn’t enough alcohol in Molly’s if you think I’m gonna get up on stage and sing.”  Antonio leaned against her kitchen island.  “Plus, I still have to prep for that trial next week.”

“Antonio, I know damn well you have the next three nights off... please?  It’ll be fun!”

Antonio groaned.  “I love you, Gaby, but no... I don’t wanna sing karaoke.”

“What about just coming to support those of us that do wanna sing?”

Antonio ran his hand through his hair.  “Okay, fine... I’ll pop by after I go help mom with her washer.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, jeez... Gaby... I honestly don’t get why the hell you want me there, but I’ll come by if it’ll make you happy.”

“Thank you!”  Gaby hugged him.  “Wait, why did Mom ask you to go fix her washer?  She usually asks Matt.”

“I have no clue... I know she called me a couple hours ago.”  Antonio sighed.  “I promise I’ll come to Molly’s as soon as I get her washer going again.”

“Okay... I’ll see you there.”  

Antonio kissed Gaby’s cheek, put his glass in the dishwasher and headed out to go help his mom.

Sylvie was enjoying herself, something she hadn’t thought possible.  She couldn’t help but laugh as Mouch and Herrmann tackled some popular rock anthems.  Then Otis and Cruz went up in an attempt to relive the Boy Bands of the 90s.  The whole bar erupted into laughter at the botched attempt to keep up with *NSYNC’s complicated dance moves.  Sylvie had said she’d sing, but she hadn’t decided which song yet.  She knew it had to be something that she was gonna be good at.  She wasn’t drunk.  She hadn’t been drinking much.  She wanted to keep her wits around her.  She figured wits were more important than trying to temporarily forget the pain that her breakup had caused.  Gaby and a very giddy Matt got up to sing “Summer Lovin’”.  She grabbed the binder with the songs that were up for karaoke. 

“You gonna get up there, kid?”  Herrmann asked.

“Yeah, just need the right song... some inspiration.”  Sylvie smiled.

Just as she said that, the door to Molly’s opened.  She looked up and saw that Antonio was standing in the doorway.  She gasped.  She wasn’t expecting him.  She stopped thumbing through the song selections.  She didn’t know what to do.  Should she get up and sing or should she dodge out the back door and go home?  She took a deep breath and looked down at the page in the book.  She smiled.  She was going to sing.  She wrote the number of the song down and handed the slip to Herrmann.  

“Interesting choice.”

“I’ll go next.”  She downed the shot of whiskey that had been sitting in front of Herrmann.  “Thanks.”

“Uh, sure.”  Herrmann had no clue what that had been about but he was going to roll with it.  He got out from behind the bar and went over to the karaoke machine.  “Okay, next up... we got Sylvie Brett... star paramedic and singer extraordinaire.”

There was a round of applause as she made her way up to the mic.  Sylvie took a deep breath and began to sing the one song that she hoped would make an impact on one very specific detective.  

“Don't leave me in all this pain Don't leave me out in the rain Come back and bring back my smile Come and take these tears away I need your arms to hold me now The nights are so unkind Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart Say you'll love me again Undo this hurt you caused When you walked out the door And walked out of my life Un-cry these tears I cried so many nights Un-break my heart My heart

Take back that sad word goodbye Bring back the joy to my life Don't leave me here with these tears Come and kiss this pain away I can't forget the day you left Time is so unkind And life is so cruel without you here beside meUn-break my heart Say you'll love me again Undo this hurt you caused When you walked out the door And walked out of my life Un-cry these tears I cried so many nights Un-break my heart My heart

Don't leave me in all this pain Don't leave me out in the rain Bring back the nights when I held you beside meUn-break my heart Say you'll love me again Undo this hurt you caused When you walked out the door And walked out of my life Un-cry these tears I cried so many nights Un-break my Un-break my heart, oh baby Come back and say you love me Un-break my heart, sweet darlin' Without you I just can't go on Can't go on”

Molly’s was so quiet you could’ve heard a pin drop.  She knew all eyes were on her, but her gaze was focused strictly on Antonio.  She quickly handed the mic back to Herrmann and ran to the back room where she’d stashed her purse.  From there, she took off out the back and hailed a cab.  She needed to go home.

Antonio froze as Sylvie’s voice brought Toni Braxton’s words to life.  Like everyone else in Molly’s, he felt chills go down his spine.  He’d heard Sylvie sing before but tonight it was something totally different.  Her soft demeanour changed as she sang the chorus.  He knew that this was directed at him.  He began to wonder if Gaby had purposely insisted him coming tonight, that it was all a part of a plan to get him and Sylvie back together.  He wanted to go after her, but at the same time he was still frozen in place.  

“Hey, Antonio!”  Matt greeted him.

“Oh, hey... Matt.”  Antonio shook his head.  “How’s it going?”

“Good.  You gonna get up there tonight?”

“Uh, no.”

“Come on!  It’s fun!”

“Yep... and you’re drunk.”  Antonio laughed.

“Maybe... a little.”

“Hey!”  Gaby joined them.  “Didn’t know you got here.”

“Uh, just got here.”

“Mom’s washer fixed?”

“For now... we’re gonna need to get her a new one soon... that one is still the same one we had as kids.”

“So, it’s bound to give out soon.”

Antonio nodded. “Yeah.  Looks like you guys have a really good turn out.”

“Yeah... good night.  Herrmann wants to make this a regular thing.”  Gaby chuckled.

“Well, more money right?”  Antonio asked.

Matt had wandered off to join the rest of their friends at the bar.

“Maybe... who knows.  This may only be a one time thing.”  Gaby sighed.  

“If Brett sings like that, you may want to consider getting her a record deal... you’d have crowds here every night.”

“You heard her?”

“Yeah.”

“You know I wasn’t trying to pull a stunt here... I really did want you to come tonight.”  Gaby said.  “To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if she was coming.”

“It’s okay.”  Antonio smiled.  “Uh, Laura is supposed to drop the kids off in an hour... so, I’m gonna head home... it’s been a while since I can see both of them at the same time... well, since... Sylvie and I.”

“Maybe another karaoke night, big brother.”  Gaby hugged him.

“Maybe.”  He shook his head and headed to his truck.

“Dad!”  The kids exclaimed when Antonio opened the door to his apartment.

“Hey!”  He hung up his coat.  “When did you guys get here?”  He looked at his watch.  They were here a little less than an hour earlier than he had expected.

“Mom... decided that she wanted to leave on her weekend earlier... and we had a key.”  Eva said.

“You guys eat?”  Antonio asked.

“Not supper, but we had snacks.”  Diego said before turning back to the TV.

“Whatta ya feel like having?”

“Pizza!”

“Chinese!”

“Uh... rock paper scissors... winner of 3 chooses supper.”  Antonio laughed.  He went to grab the take out menus for whoever won.

“I win!”  Eva exclaimed.  “Chinese food.”

“Okay, okay.”  Antonio laughed.  “Diego, we’ll do pizza tomorrow night.”

“Okay.”  Diego slumped back into the couch.  He was focused on the TV again.

“What are you guys watching?”  Antonio grabbed some sodas from the fridge and brought them to the kids.

“The Flash.”  Diego mumbled.

“We used to watch it whenever we were here with Sylvie.”  Eva whispered as she took the soda from her father.  “We still watch it, but it’s not the same.”

“I see.”  Antonio said.  “Well, food will be here pretty quick.”  He headed back to the kitchen to put dishes away.  He watched the show from the kitchen.  

It wasn’t ‘The Flash’ he remembered from his childhood comics.  It was definitely modernized for today’s youth.  From what he could tell, the Flash was trying to save his love’s life, and hadn’t done the best job of it.  He was trying to change the future he’d foreseen.  Antonio had kept his opinion to himself concerning the musical aspect of the show, but this was his kids new view on an old classic.  The kids were very into it.  Diego was into the whole tech aspect while Antonio could tell that Eva was into the love story between Barry and Iris.  He got confused by the crossover thing that was going on but it was making for an interesting twist.  His train of thought was interrupted when the doorbell rang.  He grabbed his wallet and went to pay.  He brought the food back to the kitchen.  

“Dinner’s here!”  

“Shh!  It’s almost done!”  Eva exclaimed.  She was on the edge of her seat.  “NO!”  She exclaimed as both Supergirl and the Flash were gunned down in their alternate world.  “They can’t die!”

“Eva!”  Diego snipped at his sister.  “It’s a show.”

Antonio chuckled.  It reminded him of when he and Gaby were younger.  They had similar discussions concerning their shows, even the cartoons.  He pulled out the food and got everything set up so once the show was done, they could eat as a family.  He leaned against the wall to finish the episode with them.

Barry and Supergirl had realized that they were pushing the people they loved away by trying to protect them.  They had almost lost them, and now that they were back in their reality, they would be able to fix things.  Antonio watched as Barry sang a beautiful song as his way to propose to Iris.  He made note of the title.  The words hit home in more ways than one.  He knew that it was a fictional TV show, but the chorus of that particular song hit home.

“Can't say how the days will unfold,  Can't change what the future may hold. But, I want you in it, Every hour, every minute.”

“Hey... uh, Dad?”  Diego waved his hand in front of his father’s face.  “Earth to Dad.”

Antonio shook his head.  “Yeah, buddy.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just thinking.”

Eva got up and joined them.  “About?”

“Nothing.  Foods gonna get cold... let’s eat.”  Antonio made his way back into the kitchen portion of his apartment.

“Dad?”

“Yeah, Eva?”  He asked as he opened the containers of take out.

“Do... do you ever think about Sylvie?”

Antonio stopped in his tracks.  “Uh.”

“I’m pretty sure that means ‘yes’ in grown up.”  Diego said.  “Dad, why don’t you try to fix things with her.”

“I don’t know.”  Antonio just wanted them to drop it but they were Dawsons and that meant they were going to keep poking at this subject.

“Dad.”  Eva crossed her arms the way Gaby did when she got determined.

“Guys...”

“Do you honestly think that we don’t notice how you’ve changed?”  Eva asked, sitting on the bar stool closest to her father.

“I haven’t changed.”

“Dad, when you were seeing her... you smiled... you laughed... not anymore.  You’re the way you were when Mom left.”  Diego said.  “I like when you smile and laugh... we all had fun together.”

Antonio groaned.  “She sang a song tonight... the karaoke thing.”

“What song?”  Eva asked.

“I doubt you’d know it... it’s from well before your time.”

“Try me.”  Eva countered.

“Unbreak my heart.”  Antonio answered.

“I’m pretty sure that is a clear shot at you, Dad.”  Diego took a dumpling and popped it in his mouth.  “Did she know you were there?”

Antonio nodded.

“Then, I think she misses you too.”  Eva concluded.  She took the container with fried rice and served herself.  “Diego, can I have some dumplings?”

“Really?”  Antonio said.  “That’s where we’re gonna leave the conversation... she misses me, so pass the dumplings?”

“Now you know how we feel when we ask you something and you change the subject to something completely out in left field.”  Diego chuckled.  “Look, Dad... I think you need to talk to her... see if at least she misses you like that song suggests.”

“And when exactly do you propose I do that?”

“Sooner rather than later.” Eva suggested.

“I’m not leaving you two alone tonight.”

“Then tomorrow.”  Eva smiled.  “You can’t stay miserable the rest of your life.”

“Mom moved on.”  Diego pointed out.

“I’m not your mother.”  Antonio reminded him.  “I tried hard to fix that.”

“Yeah, we know.”  Eva patted his hand.  “But, could you try that hard to fix things with Sylvie... we really like her.”

“Okay... if I promise to go and talk with her... will you guys drop it so we can eat and maybe watch a movie together?”

Antonio spent the rest of the night thinking over the lyrics to that song.  Well, that song and the song that Sylvie had sung at karaoke night.  The kids were still in bed but Antonio hadn’t slept.  He was now sitting in the living room thinking about everything that had happened in the past few months.  He looked at the pictures on the walls.  Most of the ones that were still hanging there were of the kids.  There were a couple of him and his family and one of the day he graduated from the Academy.  There were none of Laura anymore.  He’d burned those a long time ago.  The ones he had of him and Sylvie were in a box in the back of his closet.  He wished they’d see the light of day again but he wasn’t sure what was going to happen there.  He looked at the clock and saw that it was 3 in the morning.  He groaned.  He wasn’t going to be able to sleep.  Not now.  He needed to talk to Sylvie.  He grabbed his cell and started to dial her number off by heart.  He stopped before hitting send.  He knew damn well that calling someone at 3 in the morning wasn’t going to help matters.  He quickly went and checked on the kids.  They were still fast asleep.  He could be back before they woke up.  He wrote a quick note in case they woke up earlier than expected and grabbed his jacket and truck keys.  

Sylvie hadn’t been able to sleep.  She had gotten home and turned on the TV.  She drank some Chardonnay while watching her guilty pleasure.  Antonio’s kids had gotten her hooked on many of the comic book hero TV shows that aired on the CW.  She smiled remembering all the nights that she’d stay with the kids and they watch all the episodes.  It was a memory she’d chosen to continue living because who knew, maybe Antonio and her would finally be able to get back together.  After The Flash, she’d ordered some take out and flipped through the channels, not sure on what to watch.  She eventually gave up on TV and grabbed one of her trashy novels to try and fall asleep with.  She took the book and a glass of warm milk and went to her room.  She quickly changed and got comfy in her bed.  She looked at the clock.  She knew that there was no way she’d be sleeping but she still had to try.  She was thankful she was off shift for the next couple days.  Maybe she’d be able to sleep the day away.

She was in the middle of a steamy part of the book when she swore she heard someone knocking at her door.  She looked at the time.  “Who the fuck could be knocking at my door at 3:30 in the morning?”  She kept reading but the knocking didn’t stop.  It was getting a little louder.  She put the book down and made her way to the kitchen.  She grabbed the rolling pin that she kept on top of the fridge.  She had no idea who it was, but she couldn’t be too careful.  She was about to open the door and attack whoever was on the other side of it when she heard some noise.  It sounded familiar.  She leaned against the door and listened.  She smiled as she realized that it was the clip from tonight’s episode of the Flash, the specific point when Barry proposes to Iris.  She looked through the peephole and quickly opened the door.  “Antonio.”

Antonio, who’d been sitting against the wall across from her door looked up.  “Sylvie.”

“What are you doing here?”  She asked.

“I...I...”  He stumbled over his words.  “Better question... why do you have a rolling pin?”  

Sylvie looked down at her hand.  “I thought you may have been here to kill me.”

“No... but I’m thinking Gaby rubbed off on you.”  Antonio pulled himself up.  “I... I came to see you.”

“I can see that... but why?”  She leaned against the doorframe.  She wanted to drop the rolling pin and throw herself into his arms.

“I... can I come in?  I don’t think all your neighbours need to hear this.”

Sylvie smiled.  “Sure.”  She stepped back into the apartment to allow Antonio in.  She made her way back to the kitchen and put the rolling pin away.

Antonio cleared his throat.  “I made the biggest mistake in my life...  I let you go.  I told myself over and over again that you were better off without me.  That I was never going to be good enough for you.  I... I let Laura get between us... drive a wedge into something that was beautiful and pure.”

Sylvie sat on one of the chairs that was next to her breakfast nook.  “I lashed out at you... for what she did.”

“I know Sylvie, but I should’ve never let her get away with that.  I was petty... I let your anger do more damage.  You had every right to be pissed, she had no right coming at you strictly because we were together or that because you made some form of a connection with my kids.  I should’ve gone after her... instead... I was a coward... and I ran away from what we had.”  His voice broke.  “I was wrong Sylvie.  I may not be able to give you everything under the sun... but I would damn well try.”

“What are you asking me, Antonio?”

“I’m asking if you’d give me a second chance... give us a second chance.”  He took her hands.  “Can't say how the days will unfold.  Can't change what the future may hold. But, I want you in it, every hour, every minute.”

“Did you just quote ‘The Flash’?”  She smiled.

Antonio nodded.  “Guilty... I finished the episode with the kids tonight... and it hit home.  Add in the song you sang at Molly’s and I haven’t been able to think about anything else.”

“I’ve been wanting a second chance since you came to my apartment all those months ago.  I didn’t want to walk away from what we had.  I don’t want the world, Antonio... I want you and what we have together.  I’ll take the good and the bad... but I don’t want anyone to be able to come between us anymore... so, I’ll give you that second chance, but if Laura ever comes at me again, be prepared to bail me outta lock up because I’m gonna knock her down a few pegs.”

Antonio wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closely.  “I’m not letting anything or anyone stop what we have.”  He bent down and kissed her.  “I missed this.”

“Same here.”  She nuzzled against his chest.  She missed his touch, his scent, and his voice.  Everything was right again.  “Wait, you watched The Flash with the kids?  Where are they?”

“Sleeping at my place... Laura’s on some trip... and they said that they always watched it with you when they were over.”  He kissed her forehead.  “I don’t wanna leave you, but I can’t let those two be alone when they’re awake.”

“I need 5 minutes to get dressed, we can go back to your place.”  She smiled.

“Okay, 5 minutes.”  He let her go and he leaned against the wall as he watched her bolt around her apartment to get ready.  

Five minutes later, she was dressed, ready to go with a bag in hand.

“You work tomorrow?”  He asked.

“No, but I don’t plan on coming home until I have to... so, I have a go bag.”  She blushed.

“Then let’s go.”  He put his arm around her and they headed off into the night.

A/N: Well, there you go.  All credit for the songs go to their respective writers and singers.  I’ll add the video of the scene I’ve utilized if you haven’t seen it or don’t watch CW’s The Flash.  Hope you enjoy it!

[lettersforyoulettersforme]

New Post

August 2nd. Holy shit. Summer always does that thing where it’s basically gone the second it arrives. Like an orgasm. Or a long weekend trip with your boyfriend. Or the last train home.

I’m sitting in the Potter’s House with a fresh cup of coffee that smells divine. I feel like my sense of smell has developed more as of late? Like I can smell the flowers in my bedroom so strongly sometimes that I have to move them to a different spot because their pungency keeps me awake. Maybe it’s me… but it’s most likely cheap ass Trader Joe’s flowers. ANYWHO, the coffee is inticing after a late night after a long day. I worked from 8-4:30 and then came home to watch Grey’s and curl my hair. Basically unwind for a few hours because I deserve it. I have been super stressed as of late. Just with the whole Ai Elo situation and then finding the apartment and then moving and then finding new tenants to occupy the space. I just need a huge exhale and a massage. I honestly might book one for myself. I definitely need a pedicure at the very, very least. I feel like I have aged 10 years in the past 2 weeks. It has been so stressful and I hate that I’m letting it get to me. But honestly, who wouldn’t let all of this affect them?

I had a lovely acupuncture appointment on Monday with Wendi (since Jim is away). She’s an acupuncturist and a reki healer and I loved her energy. She was so open to my experiences and just wanted to help me heal from the trauma. I told her about my waking up in the middle of the night and she noted that I was being too vigilant. She didn’t say it in a condescending way, just as an observation. And I think she’s right. Just being vigilant and listening in my apartment in the night convinced that someone is there. She told me that I should invite warm spirits and warm, happy presences and energies into my bed before I sleep as a way to feel more comforted. I liked that idea and it worked last night. I did mention that whenever I’m sleeping with someone in the bed, I don’t feel scared or wake up mid- night. I just wish I could be that comforting presence for myself but not right now.

I feel like I haven’t seen Stephen in a hot second. He’s been crazy busy with work and I guess the last time I saw him was Sunday evening. He was doing invoices and we had dinner and Jess from work dropped off boxes. That sweet angel. I need this vacation with Hayley ASAP and I know that Stephen’s mini vacations are coming up soon. He needs them too. We’re both stressed with moving and Ai Elo was traumatic for him as well. It’s just been a lot. I hate that this whole thing is defining my summer but what can I do? Wendi and I were also talking about the way in which grief and inspiration are the same energy, just channeled in different ways. Or that’s the way it is in Chinese medicine. But I agree with that. Makes a shit ton of sense to me. She had me sit in a chair and feel the weight and support of the chair on my legs and back and butt. It was so Marcia of her and I realized how much I missed having someone there to literally walk me through a savasna (essentially). The whole session was glorious and it makes me miss Jim and wish that I could still have Wendi too. I just want all the acupuncture and all the holistic medicine my body can handle! Maybe Snee and I can find a santucuary or something or the sort in Portland. That seems like the place to find a little bit of peace.

But you know, this whole experience has, in the most cliche of ways, inspired me in my own life. Because my life is drenched with beauty! I have amazing friends and a wonderful boyfriend and a great home. I am happy to have known Ai Elo because as much as I didn’t want a roommate, I loved having her as a friend. She was a little bit much at times but I do feel like she made an impact. She has this gorgeous lamp in her room. It’s made from a branch she found in the woods. She widdled it down and there are tiny little bulbs wound around the lamp that have succulents and spanish moss and crystals inside them. The whole thing is STUNNING and I remember that it was one of the first things I knew about her- that she made her own furniture. I always thought that was cool as shit and she even brought home an old cabinet/ table thing once that she found and sanded it down. It’s still in the living room. Not as beautiful as the lamp but I would never just take something off of the street. That’s what I loved about Ai Elo, she just had this determination that seemingly random things could be something. One time her friend’s mother or grandmother died and she took some dried lavender and put it in a mini satchel and gave it to her friend. I thought that was the kindest and most generous thing. What a sweet and simple gift for someone who is hurting. I also just fucking love lavender.

I’m over here (sorry for the jumping around of thoughts. I’m midway between this post and looking into classes for the fall and texting people and googling thrift stores in Portland) but I’m also over here looking up all the fun things to do in Takoma! It looks so cute and I can’t wait to check it out further. They have this place to get your hair cut and I may pop in their sometime soon. After I buy all of my textbooks… kill me over that. I’m definitely renting them because it’s so much cheaper, but it’s still expensive. Speaking of which, I just got a jolt of excitement about school starting back! I really can’t wait. I’ve been so focused on the negative aspects like the stresses of moving and having no free time. But I really am truly excited to be back in school! I realize it’s such a gift and a privilege. I can’t wait to do more learning and reading. Ha we’ll see what I’m like 4 weeks into the semester, but I can dream and make grand gestures NOW.

I feel like sometimes I’m not enjoying and relishing in my life enough. Last night felt like me enjoying life a lot. I was with friends eating the most divine food (fucking T Bone steak with pine nuts and thyme and garlic cloves cooked on top and a Chilean Sea bass with a celergy root glaze and the most amazing chive and sour cream mashed potatoes. Glasses of gorgeous and delicious rose and breads and cheeses and pork belly. I’m still not over it and if Hayley comes back here, we’re going there ASAP. This restaurant is like the opposite of vegan friendly and I couldn’t be happier about it.) Also, I did karaoke last night! For the first time ever. I know, I know. I wish Hayley could have been a part of it. But now my fear is gone and I’m just loving it and seeing it for the fun that it is. I sang “Man I feel like a woman” and it’s just a fucking classic. We were there as the place was closing and I watched Tesia freak out so much about what song to chose and what was in her range. She really wanted to sound amazing and as fucking obvious as it sounds, that’s not the point of karaoke. But I thought that was the point/ that was my fear until last night. And then I suddenly realized how fun and freeing it is. I should just listen to Hayley more. First the tattoos and now the karaoke. This bitch knows what’s up.

Stephen and I sign the lease for our new apartment tomorrow. OUR apartment. I feel much less nervous that I felt like I would. It’s gonna be a test and I’m gonna give him his space and I know he’ll give me mine. I’m just excited to have something that it is purely ours.

Let’s see what else I can say… Just trying to find a place for Mom, Dad, Char and I to have dinner when they’re in town. It’s proving difficult (as always) to find a casual place that isn’t too expensive and it’s loud as shit so that my Dad can hear). Honestly, I may just do a Founding Farmers Restaurant. Not mine personally but one of our restaurants… get that discount, you know!

Alright, I’ve rambled on enough. As always, thankful for the outlet!