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dragonasheswrites-blog · 7 years ago

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The Heaven We Didn’t Choose, Chapter 19: In Which Piracy is Encouraged

...But no one seems to mind.

First: Chapter 1: In Which a Child Makes a Friend

Previous: Chapter 18: In Which Sans Has a Heart

Next: Chapter 20: The Trouble With Paperwork

Click here for the story overview.

Sans came back to reality feeling disoriented and he automatically tensed. Pain was what woke him, and for a long moment that was all he could focus on. Taking a few deep breaths to calm down, he took stock of what was making his bones scream at him.

His injured arm felt like it had been shattered, which sent a pulse of fear through his soul. A quick glance down confirmed that it was still only fractured, but the sight of the injuries seemed to only increase the pain. He hissed, trying to find some way to release the tension that wouldn’t bring Boss to his door.

It helped - a little - and he fought to focus on something else instead. Why was he injured? Why was he so sore? Slowly, memories of the fight trickled back. The kids, the cops, Undyne. The damn dogs that ran off without a second thought. The alleyway…

The cat was mewling softly when he rolled over to examine it, looking a bit more wobbly than it had earlier. Abruptly, he realized that neither he nor the cat had eaten dinner. From its size, the cat was probably pretty young; babies needed to eat regularly, if he remembered correctly.

He pulled himself upright with a grunt and slipped his jacket on. It was still damp, and smelled awful, but it was a layer of protection.

The clock in the kitchen confirmed that he’d only been asleep for about two hours. He was feeling it in every bone of his body. He felt heavy and light at the same time, and he wondered idly what would happen if he just collapsed. Would he float, caught between the two odd sensations? Probably not, his logical mind concluded. He’d just tip over like an idiot and jostle his already-aching bones.

There was still some canned food in the cupboard, and Sans scanned the labels. Cats were carnivores, right? He thought back to the few times he’d encountered Mettaton’s torture assistant, a cynical and depressed cat monster. A hazy memory of the guy removing the bun and pickles from a burger tickled the back of his skull. It was unusual that any monster would turn his nose up at food, so the incident had stuck with him.

Hopefully surface cats acted on the same principle. There was a can of shredded chicken in the back of the cupboard; he grabbed it and, after a bit of quiet shuffling through the shelves, an old clamshell takeout container that Boss had insisted on washing. He filled one half with water, then carefully made his way back to his room.

The cat was extremely grateful for the water, which Sans found surprising considering it had nearly drowned just a few hours before. He let it do...whatever it was doing with its tongue (flicking water into its mouth? It looked inefficient) while he wrangled the canned chicken open one-handed.

Thankfully, the chicken didn’t have any weird flavorings. He was fairly certain that it wasn’t the healthiest thing to feed a cat anyways, but it was that or starve. He carefully dished out some smaller pieces onto the empty half of the container and set it beside the water.

Almost immediately, the food was gone. Sans reluctantly took a few more lumps and plopped them onto the lid.

“That’s all ya get,” he grumbled. “I’ve gotta eat too.”

The cat responded with a plaintive meow, indicating its displeasure at being cut off.

“What? I don’t even know how you’re eating all that. You actually have a real stomach, doncha? Isn’t it full by now?”

Another meow.

“Shhh. If ya wake up Boss, we’re both out on our asses. You feel me?”

He finished up his portion of the chicken quickly, not really tasting it. His arm was starting to heal as his body converted the food into magic, but it was a slow process. He considered asking if Tori had some time to look at it; he hadn’t properly talked to her in months, since before he’d started watching Att...her. The last time he came close to visiting was when he dropped off Frisk’s Christmas gift, and he’d just left that on her front porch. Who knew what she thought of that.

On second thought, he could probably power through it.

“‘Kay, then. I’m gonna head back to bed for a few hours. You good in the box?”

The cat blinked at him.

“...I’m gonna take that as a yes.”

He rolled over carefully, taking the pressure off his injured side, and tried to sleep.

“SANS”

“Whazzit?” Had he slept at all?

“WAKE UP THIS INSTANT AND TURN YOUR ALARM OFF! ALSO, DO NOT THINK I HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT LAST NIGHT! BE PREPARED FOR PUNISHMENT WHEN YOU RETURN THIS EVENING!”

Loud footsteps echoed down the hallway, and Sans’s soul sank. There went his plan of avoiding Boss.

He sat up carefully and turned his alarm off. He’d gotten so used to waking up at a certain time that he’d been getting up before his alarm even went off lately, which was useful but flat out annoying. Apparently the night before was enough to throw his sleep schedule off.

A soft cry from the corner of the room brought his attention back to the cat. Sure enough, it had made some kind of icky sticky mess on his shirts; just as well that they’d be tossed in the wash.

“Ya good in there, bud?”

The cries paused for a moment, then resumed.

“I, uh, don’t speak cat. ‘M not sure what ya want. Are ya hungry? Thristy? Throw me a bone here. Heh.”

The cat didn’t speak any language Sans knew, but it apparently recognized when his attention was on it. Its noises changed in pitch and frequency to the point where Sans half-expected Boss to come storming up the stairs to investigate the racket.

“Okay, okay. Shhh. Shhhhhhh.” He picked it up and ran his phalanges over the impossibly soft fur. This calmed the creature a little, enough that its noises weren’t quite so high-pitched and distressed.

“I tell ya what. If you can keep quiet 'til I get out the front door, we can raid the hot dog stand supplies for breakfast. How’s that sound?”

The cat made a few little mruph sounds that he took as agreement.

Boss had already headed out for the day by the time Sans made his way downstairs, which was helpful. He had to set the cat down to pull his shoes on, which prompted more crying, but it stopped when he settled it back into his jacket. He decided to leave the zipper alone; the little critter didn't like being restrained. The way it was sitting didn’t exactly look comfy to him, but the cat was purring again. It felt strangely nice against his bones.

The walk to the hot dog stand was worse than usual. The cold rain had turned to snow sometime in the night, and his usual path along the side of the road was obscured by a light dusting of white. He could feel the ache in his bones from the fight the night before with every step, and halfway there the cat decided it liked the cold even less than it liked being confined and had retreated further into the jacket.

It was a relief when his stand was set up and he could finally settle his bones onto his stool. The cat, interested by the fun smells, popped its head out to explore.

CLANK CLANG KA-CLANK CLANG CLANG

...And immediately retreated as far back inside his jacket as it could manage. Sans peered in the direction of the noise, a genuine smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Heya, GD! Want some breakfast?”

Greater Dog bounded up, slobber flying everywhere as he panted excitedly. *YESYESYES,* he barked. *WANT WARM PUP TREAT FOR BREAKFAST PLEASE.*

“One hot dog for a cool dog, comin’ right up.” He dressed the ‘dog up the way he knew GD liked it: a few generous slices of cheese, some bacon crumbles, and a bit of steamed mustard greens. (He’d been testing new ‘healthy’ toppings a year or so back, and while most of them were total flops the dogs really liked the mustard greens. Since they couldn’t eat most of what he served, he kept it on the menu.) “There ya go, big guy. Bone appetite!”

Greater Dog barked a laugh and took the ‘dog with one large prosthetic hand. *THANKS, FAVORITE BONE BUDDY. LOOKS GOOD. GOOD FOOD. GOOD GOOD GOOD.*

“Glad it suits you. Hey, don’t forget to pay again, yeah? I’d give you all the ‘dogs you want for free, but I get in trouble when I don’t come home with cash.”

The dog whined an apology, then disappeared into his suit. A moment later, he re-emerged and spat a few gold coins onto the counter.

“Thanks, buddy.”

*BONE BUDDY HAPPY? GREATER DOG HAS BEEN GOOD BOY??*

Sans sighed. “Yeah, you’ve been a good boy. C’mere, big guy.”

Greater dog leaned forward, his metallic suit half-splayed across the counter of the hot dog stand. The wood creaked under his weight, and he adjusted so he wasn’t in danger of collapsing the poor booth.

“Yer a good boy, GD. A real good boy.” Skeletal fingers scratched behind the dog’s ears, past the scruff of his neck, and around the sides to that spot up under his chin where he could never seem to reach properly.

Finally, after a small eternity of petting, Greater Dog sat up. *PATROL, NOW,* he barked, ears drooping. *NO TIME FOR MORE PETS. SAD.*

“Hey, you’re filling in for Dogamy on patrol tonight, right?”

*YES. DOGAMY HOME WITH PUPS. PUPS GOOD. PUPS NEED PROTECTION.*

“Cool. I’ll see you then, ‘kay? I’ll be at my usual station.”

Greater Dog whined. *WILL MISS BONE BUDDY.*

“I’ll miss you too, GD.”

The dog licked the hand that had been petting him, then tensed. *WHAT? CAT? BONE FRIEND HAVE CAT?*

“Uh...yeah?”

*CAT GOOD! CAT FRIENDS FUN! CAN CHASE!* He leaned in closer.

The cat tucked inside Sans’s jacked hissed and made another rather poor escape attempt, thwarted by the fact that it didn’t quite know its way around. Sans huffed at the unusual feeling of something furry clinging to his spine with tiny claws. “Not this one. I found it last night. It’s just a baby, and I’m trying to figure out what to do with it. It’s, uh…” he looked up at Greater Dog. The dog’s eyes were bright with excitement, every muscle in his fluffy body tensed with the thrill of the hunt. None of this was getting through. “It’s...shy?”

*SHY NOT FUN,* he huffed. *IS SECRET?*

“...Yeah. Please don’t tell B...uh, Papyrus.”

*WILL KEEP BONE FRIEND’S SECRET.* He whined. *WILL MISS BONE FRIEND. WILL SEE BONE FRIEND SOON.* He barked a quick *HELLO, GOOD BYE, PATROL NOW* at something behind him and bounded off, enthusiasm barely waned. Which was odd; GD didn’t like many people, but Sans couldn’t be bothered to care.

He was about to put his head back down for a much-needed nap when his eye sockets caught the person who’d been standing behind Greater Dog. Someone he didn’t think he’d see again in...well, ever. “...Uh…”

��Hi, Mr. Sans!” Attie called, waving enthusiastically. “I was going to come get a breakfast hot dog and tell you hello, but I didn’t want to interrupt Mr. Greater Dog’s petting. He really likes petting, right?”

“Y-yeah, he sure does.”

“I know. He sometimes lets me pet him outside his armor, but only when he’s security for me and Mommy. If he has other jobs, he doesn’t let me.” She pouted a little.

“Hey, uh, where’s yer mom? Isn’t someone supposed to be watching you now?” That was the rumor, anyways. If Frisk had gotten sick again...

“Mmm-hmm. She’s coming in a minute. She’s prob’ly talking to somebody.”

Some part of Sans was screaming that he was being creepy, but he couldn’t stop looking at her. He hadn’t seen her in...gosh, over a month. 44 days, to be exact. It had been two weeks and five days since Frisk followed him home, and it had been three weeks and five days between that incident and Boss slipping Attie out in the middle of the night.

There was a strange sensation in his throat, a tightness he wasn’t used to. It didn’t feel like strangulation - like when Boss lifted him by his collar - but more like there was something stuck there, in his vertebrae. It was uncomfortable. The sensation distracted him from the prickling in the corners of his eye sockets that he was far too familiar with; he blinked rapidly to avoid embarrassing himself.

“Are you okay, Mr. Sans?”

“Y-yeah. ‘M fine.”

She bounced on her toes, making her shoes light up. Those were the ones she’d told him about on one of the first days he’d watched her, he realized. They did indeed have pink flowers on them, with little lights that flashed from their centers. He wondered if that was a human invention or if she’d somehow charmed the mad Royal Scientist into making her customized shoes. He thought about anything he could to distract himself from the fact that he’d remembered something, something small from almost two months ago, and that meant his mind wasn’t falling to pieces just yet.

Attie was dressed in a puffy white jacket with faux fur lining the hood. On her hands were mittens, knitted in a pattern he recognized; Tori must have been busy since he last saw her. The edges of her sleeves were stained in browns, greens, and reds.

She looked just like any other little girl. Nothing about her appearance indicated that she was the daughter of the Ambassador of Monsters, that she had any security presence at all.

He felt it, though. The glow of Frisk’s protective wards - much stronger now that she was recovered - was apparent in every bounce of her daughter’s feet. There were few weapons wielded by humans or monsters that could touch someone with that much protection, and anyone stupid enough to try would be in for more than one nasty surprise.

“I don’t think you’re okay,” Attie said. “You just keep looking at me funny and you haven’t even said ‘hello’ or ‘how are you.’ Are you gonna be a asshole again?”

“Not tryin’ to be. So, uh, hello, Attie. How are you?”

“I’m doing real good! Um, really well, I mean. How are you, Mr. Sans?”

“I’m, uh, okay.”

“Undie said you were in a big fight last night. Is that true?”

“Yeah…? I didn’t know she’d talk to you about that…?”

“She didn’t. She told my mommy when she stopped in for a quick meeting while she thought I was getting dressed. Mommy said we could come have breakfast hot dogs and make sure you’re okay, just in case.”

“Uh...cool? Yeah, I’m in one piece.”

She looked expectantly up at him.

“...Oh, right, hot dogs. So, uh, what do ya want on yours?”

Attie wanted bacon, cheese, onion, ketchup, mustard, and relish. Sans handed the ‘dog to her with its toppings balanced precariously, then gave her a small stack of napkins. “Don’t wanna get your nice jacket all messy.”

“It’s okay. I can wash it.”

“I’m sure ya can, but you wanna look nice, right?”

“The lessons are finally kicking in, then?” Asked Frisk from RIGHT behind him.

“Holy shit.”

“Language.”

“Uh...” He glanced at Attie, who was giggling, then twisted on his stool to get a good look at Frisk.

...A good look was an apt way to put it. She had a long tan coat on, red buttons in two neat rows down the front. Her waist was accented by a simple brown belt that twisted into a casual knot on one hip. The hat and gloves tucked under her arm were dark brown, matching her knee-high boots, but he could see the lines of a familiar pattern on them. Tori hadn’t waited until Christmas to deliver gifts, apparently.

Slowly, hesitantly, he met her eyes. She looked a lot better than he remembered, even from the last time he saw her in person. Maybe it was the light - even the dull, filtered light of the winter sun through the clouds did her more justice than the harsh yellow bulb that lit the dining room in his apartment - but she looked more than ready to take on the world.

It was a far cry from the helpless mess she’d been when he found her, so many weeks before. And she was completely focused on him in a way that she - or, frankly, anyone else - had never been. He felt his face starting to turn pink.

Say something, his mind begged. Come up with something - anything - to keep her from thinking you’re a complete fool.

“What-” No! Not that! “-do you want on your hot dog?”

He could feel his voice squeaking a little and resisted the urge to clear a throat he didn’t have.

Frisk smiled at him anyways, and he felt his soul stutter in a way that couldn’t possibly be healthy. “I haven’t had a hot dog in ages. Surprise me.”

The challenge in her voice was both clear and terrifying.

ABORT MISSION, ABORT MISSION!

He gulped and examined his options. With phalanges that were definitely not shaking, he dipped into the small stash of fresh bakery buns he kept for his best customers, then put a few slices of cheese on it. That went into the small, warm space behind the hot dog roller. While it was warming he grabbed a paper plate and a sharp knife and started chopping a pickle spear and some of the baby tomatoes he’d picked up on a whim. He pulled the bun out once the cheese was melted and put a ‘dog inside, then added bacon crumbles, onion, and his sliced pickles and tomatoes. A drizzle of yellow mustard completed the masterpiece, and he held it out to Frisk with a flourish that (probably) disguised the slight tremor of his hands.

Attie applauded uselessly through her mittens, her own hot dog mostly gone. “That looks really yummy! Mommy, can I have a bite?”

“May I have a bite,” Frisk corrected.

“Sure, but only if I can have a bite of yours!”

She rolled her eyes and took a tentative bite of her hot dog. Sans watched her chew and swallow, feeling as if quite a bit more than customer satisfaction rode on that simple action. Finally, she nodded. “It’s really good, Sans. Thanks!”

“Yer welcome.” Relief made him slouch against his counter.

“I never would’ve thought to put fresh tomatoes on a hot dog, but it’s not bad. What was the inspiration?”

He thought, for a moment, that she was mocking him, but her face showed only sincerity. It threw him for a loop, and he stuttered for a moment before he found his bearings. “I, uh, well, I was doin’ a bit of research. Gotta keep a femur upon the competition and all. See, ketchup is pretty salty, and a lot of what I have - cheese, bacon, even the hot dogs themselves - is pretty salty too. The tomatoes give you some flavor without the extra salt and give some texture, too. Can’t really take credit for the idea, but...well. Thought I’d give it a shot.”

“It’s brilliant. You should keep it up.”

His face was definitely turning colors. Thankfully, Frisk was distracted by Attie wanting a bit of the ‘super-special hot dog’ and he had a moment to compose himself.

Naturally, that was about when his little friend decided to make its presence known once again.

Attie squealed, nearly losing her grip on her hot dog. “KITTY!”

“No way!” Frisk said looked at Sans, then down at the cat that was clawing its way up his shirt, then back at him. “You have a kitten? Since when?”

He tried to pry it off, but the claws were deceptively strong and he didn't want to break anything. “Since, uh, last night? It was caught in the rainstorm. Found it when I was walkin’ home.”

“Can I hold it?” Attie asked, tugging Sans’s sleeve harshly. Her protective wards flared-

“Gah!” Sans pulled his arm away, clutching at his fractured bone, and accidentally banged his bad arm on the edge of the counter. He froze, cursing himself. He hadn’t meant to dodge away from her like that; it was just so unnerving that someone would try to touch him (and someone with that much magic on her besides) that he hadn’t tried to simply maneuver away from her. She hadn't registered as a threat, so she'd gotten closer to him than most people normally did. He shrunk in on himself, taking his bearings, then remembered that she’d asked a question. “S-sure. Just, uh, give me a sec.”

Frisk crouched down so she was eye level with him. “Sans, are you okay? Undyne said you’d been injured last night in the confrontation with those humans on the mountain, but she didn’t know the details. She thought it wasn’t serious since you shrugged it off. Are you okay?”

Sans checked his HP before responding. He was down to a single point. When had he gotten so low? He felt his breathing pick up, fear of his own mortality overpowering his pride. “I...I...uh, I…” He couldn’t seem to force the words out.

He felt the familiar chill of someone else’s magic invading his own, just enough to get a good read on his stats, but despite his embarrassment he allowed it. More than that, he took a chance and showed his real stats; she'd been sympathetic before, hadn't she? Across from him, Frisk took a sudden breath. “Sans. You need help immediately. What are you even doing out of the house like that?”

“W-wasn’t that bad e-earlier. Had somethin’ to eat...g-gosh, early this mornin’ and brought my HP up a f-few points. I-I’ll be fine. G-gimme a sec to grab a ‘d-dog.”

“Sans, I’m going to call my mother to take a look at you.”

“No...uh, n-need...”

“Yes, there is a need. You and her get along fine, right? She has some healing magic. Just...please, let me do this. I’m worried, and Attie’s worried too.”

They had a point. A ‘dog probably wouldn’t bring his HP up far enough for him to get through his shift, and sentry duty later that night, and whatever Boss had planned. He let out his breath in a solid woosh and nodded.

Frisk stepped away and started dialing. Sans deliberately didn’t listen in on her conversation, instead focusing on carefully extracting the cat from his person. Its nose was twitching but it allowed him to maneuver it into his lap without a whole lot of fuss.

It kept turning its head towards the counter, though. It definitely knew where the food was.

“Here,” he said, gesturing to Attie. “D-didn’t ya wanna hold it?”

“Can I?” she asked in a very small voice. “I’m really sorry, Mr. Sans. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t know your arm was hurt.”

He took a deep breath, willing his stutter away. He wasn’t a babybones anymore, he reminded himself. “Eh, ‘tsokay kid. No real harm done. If you’d meant to hurt me, well. I’d be dust right now. You didn’t, though, and ‘m fine, see? Now help me with this little cat.”

He used his good hand to cup the cat as she lifted it, making sure it wasn’t actively trying to claw her. It seemed a little upset at the movement, but its protests were more vocal than physical. After a moment of Attie’s tiny fingernails scratching behind its ears it settled down and started purring again.

“Huh. It likes you.”

The girl’s smile was smug. “Of course! Everybody likes me.”

For most kids, Sans thought, that would be a laughably arrogant statement, but...everyone did seem to like Attie. She’d survived Boss. She’d charmed the dogs. She’d even melted Undyne’s heart a little, and that was a feat worthy of some kind of medal.

Frisk stepped back into his field of vision. “Mom will be by within a few minutes. She’s finishing up some paperwork that needs to be done before lunchtime. Will you be okay until then?”

“Yeah. Of course.” It wasn’t like he hadn’t existed on one HP before. Much as he’d come to regret how he got his LV, he would’ve been dust years ago without it. He shuddered at the thought.

Frisk apparently mistook that gesture and hunched back down in front of him. She looked at him for a long moment before narrowing her eyes in DETERMINATION. “Attie, you can go play. I’m going to keep an eye on Mr. Sans for a bit.”

The girl looked at her mother, then down at the cat in her arms. “But...I’m holding his baby kitty! I can’t go play!”

“Alright. But no more grabbing, alright? We’ve talked about this. It’s one thing when you do it to me or your grandma and grandpa or Undyne, but you have to be careful.”

“Okay. I said I was sorry.”

“I heard. Good girl. Now, Sans, where did you find this kitten?”

Sans explained how he’d found the cat in the alley the night before. He deliberately ignored the small smile on Frisk’s face, as if she knew something he didn’t.

(He was sure she knew a lot of things he didn’t.)

Thankfully, her only remark was, “Are you even allowed to have pets in your apartment?”

“Eh, yer mom lets some of the dogs stay downstairs. Why wouldn’t a cat be okay?”

“Uh-huh. And how did Greater Dog react to your little friend there when we were walking up?”

“Heh, point taken.”

They both watched Attie play with the cat for a few minutes. When it's meows became too insistent, she handed it to her mother. “I don’t know what’s wrong,” she pouted. “I thought it liked me.”

Frisk turned the critter over with deft hands, poking it gently along its stomach. “He’s probably hungry. Sans, has he eaten anything since that chicken you gave him last night?”

“Nah. I was gonna give it - uh, him - something from the stand, but I didn’t get the chance. Think he’ll eat a ‘dog?”

“It’s worth a shot. Here - I’ll pay for it.”

“What? No-”

“Please. It’s the least I can do.” She handed him enough to cover three hot dogs with the fixings. He handed her back the change, but Attie scooped it up instead.

“Can I put the change in the tip jar?” she asked.

Frisk patted her on the cheek. “Go ahead. Don’t break anything.”

“Yay!”

Sans chopped up a ‘dog into tiny pieces and scooped it into a paper plate for Frisk, who tried to coax the starving cat to eat something. He made another for himself and choked it down against the rolling feeling of nausea.

“Did you set that up?” Frisk asked, gesturing to his tip jar.

“Uh, yeah. The old coin funnel on top is something I found years ago in the dump. Can’t remember why I bothered carting it home in the first place, but it’s come in handy now that we’re on the surface. I, uh, had to fix it up a little to get it to accept g as well as human coins, 'n it doesn't work quite right all the time, but the kids like it.”

They watched Attie drop a pair pennies into a slot at the top of the funnel, the coins passing each other several times before dropping into the clear jar below.

“It’s hard to believe that monsters are able to enjoy things like this now,” Frisk said. “I remember back in the Underground how, um, tense everyone was. They’re a lot more...whimsical, I guess, now.”

“Yeah, well, fighting for space and food kinda takes the fun outta ya. We didn’t really have time for things like this - not in public, anyways. Heck, I didn’t dare leave a tip jar out back then; someone would’ve come by and stolen it. Now look at me. Some days I make more in tips than I do selling ‘dogs.”

She hummed in agreement. Attie sent a few more coins down the chute, watching them intently. After a moment, she turned to Sans. “Why to they go around and around and around like that instead of dropping straight into the jar?”

“It has to do with gravity, angles, and the shape of the funnel.”

She held out a coin. “Can you show me?”

Frisk frowned and raised a hand to stop her daughter. “Attie, don’t bother-”

“Eh, it’s fine,” he said. “Kid’s not hurting anything, and I’ll still be right here if someone wants to buy ‘dogs.” He pushed himself up. “Uh, feel free to take a seat if you want. There’s just the one stool and it might be...a bit short for ya, but…” he gestured awkwardly and turned away.

Attie was a brilliant audience, holding onto every word as he explained the ins and outs of accelerated gravitational motion and centrifugal force. He was pretty sure most of it flew straight over the seven-year-old’s head, but she didn’t interrupt.

“...Sans?”

He looked up to see someone approaching from the direction of the park. “Oh. Hi, Tori. Thanks for, uh...y’know.” He shrugged.

“It’s no trouble. I heard that you were in a fight last night, but not that there were complications. What seems to be the trouble?”

Frisk sent Attie off to play on the slides (one of the few areas of the playground without a coat of snow) while Sans reluctantly explained his situation. Tori stood quietly through it all, her eyes occasionally flicking to her adopted daughter.

“I do not approve of healing every small hurt, but I also do not want to send a sentry out injured after what happened last night. Hold out your arm, please.”

Sans did so, bracing himself. Healing was an agonizing process at the best of times, and Tori was at least a little bit irritated with him. He could feel the bone shards grating against each other as the fractures knit. He hadn’t registered it through the general haze of pain, but there were even cracks in the small bones that comprised his wrist. Tori’s firm grip on the damaged bones made his vision waver, and he grabbed the counter of the hot dog stand to keep from embarrassing himself.

After what seemed like hours, the pain ebbed and he came to his senses. He didn’t realize until he extracted his hand from Tori’s that he was shaking from pain and exhaustion; the accelerated healing process was draining his reserves faster than the ‘dog he’d eaten earlier could replenish them.

“Frisk, let him sit,” Tori said, shooing her daughter off the stool.

With great effort, Sans managed to maneuver himself around the back of the hot dog stand and collapsed onto his stool. He could feel the strain on his spine and hips from the position, but at least he was less likely to tip over in front of his…

...friends?

He decided not to think too much about it.

“If that is all, I shall be off,” Tori said to Frisk. “Do you need me to watch Atlas this weekend?”

“That would be great, Mom. We can talk it over this afternoon at the Embassy.”

“Very well. I shall see you then.”

Tori walked off without saying goodbye to Sans, and he winced. It was only half because of the little twinges of pain that kept shooting down his spine. Shifting didn’t help much, either.

“I thought you and Mom got along?” Frisk asked, looking concerned again.

“We do. It’s just - ugh! - I haven’t seen her in a few months.” In hindsight, he probably should have at least called.

“Well, I hope you get back on speaking terms.”

“No kidding. Don’t want her to bleat me up.”

Frisk snorted. “That was terrible.”

“I notice your lack of surprise.”

She just smiled. “Oh, hey, your kitten’s back asleep. Want him back?”

“Nah, I think he’s comfy.” Both Frisk and the cat looked comfy, actually. Realization dawned slowly on him. (He blamed it on the lack of sleep.)

“Hey, uh, do you know anyone who wants a cat?”

“You’re not going to try to keep him?”

“Nah. You were right ‘bout the dogs. And, well, I don’t think Boss is gonna really go for ‘cute and fuzzy.’ He might, but it's 50/50.”

Frisk looked at him, then back to the cat, then back to him. “Attie...has been bugging me about getting a pet for a while, actually. She wanted a dog but, well, I’m sure you can see how that might get a tad awkward.”

“No kiddin’.”

“We also spend a lot of time at the Embassy, and when I travel Attie spends time with her grandparents. A cat on the other hand...well, you don’t have to walk them, for one. If you’d be willing to stop in every once in a while to feed him while I’m on trips, I don’t see why we couldn’t keep him. If you’re sure…”

“Yeah, that’d be great!” Attie had turned out... mostly alright, after all, short bouts of chaos and terror aside. A cat raised by Frisk would probably wind up ruling the world (or at least the neighborhood), but Sans could think of worse things.

“Okay. Um, do you want to keep him with you for a bit, or…”

“I, uh, don’t even have food for ‘im. I made a little bed out of old shirts, but that’s it. If you don’t mind takin’ ‘im now, go for it.”

She looked at the little cat, stroking gently behind his ears and smiling. His eyes were closed, and Sans could hear the faint rumbling of that purring thing cats did when they were happy. He grinned.

“I’d say he’s in good hands.”

“...Yes. Hopefully. We’ll see.” That smile got just a bit wider, though.

Attie stomped up a little while later, shivering. “It’s too cold to play much,” she said. “And one of the big kids kept trying to get me to stick my tongue to the monkey bars.”

It took Sans a moment to register why this was even a thing humans would want to do. That’s right; humans had drippy ‘saliva’ stuff inside their mouths. Putting her tongue on the unprotected metal of the monkey bars would have probably caused it to freeze and stick. “You tell that kid off?”

“Yeah. I told him that if he wanted to do science so bad then he should try it first, because a good scientist doesn’t use other people as test subjects.”

“Ooookay. I mean, you’re not wrong, but did he do it?”

“No. I guess he didn’t believe in his hyp...hypoth’s.”

“Hypothesis?”

“Yup!”

Frisk chuckled. “Fair enough. Now Attie, I have an important question for you.”

“Okay?”

“Mr. Sans lives in a building with some of the dogs.”

“I know. I heard them when I was having the long sleepover while you were sick.”

“...Right. Well, dogs and cats don’t always get along, so Mr. Sans said he’d let us take the kitty home with us. Would that be alright?”

Attie gasped and turned to Sans. “Do you really, really mean it? We can keep your kitty?”

“Sure, kid.”

“Thank you, Mr. Sans! Thank you a whole, whole, whole bunch!” She shuffled over and gave him a very soft, very careful hug.

He patted her on the back, feeling awkward under Frisk’s observation. “Uh, no problem. I’m sure he’s gonna be happy with you.”

“Does he have a name?”

“Nah. I guess you ‘n your mom get to name ‘im.”

At Frisk’s nod, Attie began petting the kitten, her brows furrowed. “You said you found him in water, right, Mr. Sans?”

“Yup.”

“And he’s got a bad eye, like Undie.”

“Sure does.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to name him...Terror Of the Seven Seas!!! Because he’s a pirate cat.”

Frisk snorted. “That’s a long name, honey. Want to come up with something shorter?”

“Nope! But he can have a nickname if you really want him to.”

“Terror Of the Seven Seas it is, then.”

“Guess you could call ‘im ‘TOSS,’” Sans piped up. “Short for Terror Of the Seven Seas. Pirate extraordinaire.”

The little girl hummed. “That sounds okay. He can be called TOSS for a nickname.”

Frisk was snickering behind her hand, he knew it.

Suddenly, a loud ringing noise interrupted the peaceful morning. Frisk dug through her pockets for a moment, then produced a familiar-looking phone. “Oh...Sans, I’m so sorry, but we’ve got to run.”

“Okay.” It was expected, he told himself. Frisk was an ambassador and a busy woman.

“Can we bring Terror of the Seven Seas with us to the embassy?” Attie asked.

Her mother glanced down nervously. “Well...just this once, I guess.”

She cheered. “See ya later, Mr. Sans!”

“See ya, kid,” he replied.

And then they were gone, and his morning seemed all too quiet.

#Dragonashes writes #Undertale #Underfell #The Heaven We Didn't Choose #Sans #Papyrus #Frisk #Attie #Greater Dog #Greater Dog is a good dog #TOSS #Surely this won't come back to bite anyone #Don't mess with pirate cat

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andylocksmithtipsntricks · 5 years ago

Text

Best Robot Vacuums

Best Overall

iRobot Roomba 960

Read Review

View on Amazon

Read Review

Best for Large Spaces

Neato Botvac D7 Wi-Fi

Read Review

View on Amazon

Read Review

Budget Pick

ECOVACS N79

Read Review

View on Amazon

Read Review

Tired of cleaning your floors the old-fashioned way? Check out our list of the top robot vacuums, and bid farewell to that heavy upright vacuum cleaner.

Top 6 Robot Vacuums of 2020

iRobot Roomba 960 Robot Vacuum

Neato Botvac D7 Wi-Fi Robot Vacuum

ECOVACS DEEBOT N79 Robotic Vacuum

iLife V3s Pro Robotic Vacuum

Samsung POWERbot R7040 Robot Vacuum

eufy RoboVac 11

List Price * Battery Life Floor Types Virtual Mapping Good for Pet Hair

Best Overall

Best for Large Spaces

Budget Pick

Best Battery Life

Best for Cleaning Edges

Best for Pet Hair

iRobot Roomba 960 Neato Botvac D7 Wi-Fi ECOVACS DEEBOT N79 iLife V3s Pro Samsung POWERbot R7040 eufy RoboVac 11 $449.00 $523.99 $158.80 $118.99 $279.00 $199.99 75 mins. 60 mins. 100 mins. 120 mins. 90 mins. 90 mins. All carpet Rugs Hard surfaces Low carpet Hard surfaces Low carpet Hard surfaces All carpet Rugs Hard surfaces Low carpet Hard surfaces All carpet Rugs Hard surfaces ✓ Yes ✓ Yes X No X No X No X No ✓ Yes ✓ Yes X No ✓ Yes ✓ Yes ✓ Yes View on Amazon View on Amazon View on Amazon View on Amazon View on Amazon View on Amazon

Amazon.com prices as of 12/18/19 01:28 pm MST.

Best Robot Vacuum Reviews

1. iRobot Roomba 960 Robot Vacuum

Best Overall

View on Amazon

iRobot’s Roomba is the best-known name in the robot vacuum game, so it’s no surprise this smart vacuum pioneer leads the pack for overall cleaning, features, and customer satisfaction.

Pros

The iRobot Roomba 960 packs a powerful punch with a 75-minute runtime and its unique AeroForce 3-Stage Cleaning System that lifts and suctions with up to five times more power than other Roomba vacuums.

Tangle-Free Brushes for Pet Hair A patented design makes cleaning up pet hair a breeze. These specially designed brushes work on multiple surfaces and won’t get hung up by pet hair—even if you have a whole horde of furry beasts.

Voice Control Options When you combine your Roomba with an Amazon Echo or Google Home device, you can clean the floors with nothing more than the sound of your voice.

Simple Maintenance Not only does the Roomba 960 recharge on its own (and resume cleaning where it left off), its brushes and filter require less maintenance, which makes keeping your floors clean even easier.

Cons

Although the Roomba comes with a lot of great features, sometimes they don’t work as well as we’d like. The navigation struggles if the unit runs into cords and wires, and the app can be difficult to set up.

Tricky App Setup Users complain that the app is confusing to set up on both Android and Apple products, especially when it comes to notifications.

2. Neato Botvac D7 Connected Wi-Fi Robot Vacuum

Best for Large Spaces

View on Amazon

The combination of a D-shape design and LaserSmart Mapping make the Neato Botvac D7 ideal for getting into corners and covering large areas without missing any spots.

Pros

This is one of the only robot vacuums we found that improves over time. The more you use it, the better job it does at keeping those floors clean.

Learning Technology This vacuum regularly scans its environment to map the area and avoid obstacles. Plus, Neato sends out regular software updates that make this robot vacuum smarter and more effective, especially when it comes to navigation and smart mapping.

Two Cleaning Modes The Neato Botvac D7 comes with an Eco Mode and a Turbo Mode. Eco provides an energy-saving clean that is quieter but takes longer. Turbo delivers deep cleaning and picks up the most hair for those with pets.

Fast Charging Time If the battery is completely drained, it will take about three hours to get a full charge, but if you catch the Neato Botvac D7 before the battery’s gone, you’ll get a full charge much faster.

Cons

One of the things you sacrifice for the low price point is more technologically advanced features like virtual mapping and smart home integration.

No Wi-Fi Connectivity The ECOVACS DEEBOT N79 can’t connect to Wi-Fi, so there’s no way to make it part of a smart home system or use it with Amazon Alexa for voice control.

3. ECOVACS DEEBOT N79 Robotic Vacuum Cleaner

Budget Pick

View on Amazon

The ECOVACS DEEBOT N79 has some of the strongest suction out there. It’s so good that users said they felt embarrassed after seeing how much dust and dirt the DEEBOT picked up.

Pros

With many robot vacuums priced higher than $500, it’s nice to find a powerful vacuum with rave reviews for right around $200.

Smart Sensors The ECOVACS DEEBOT N79 comes with smart sensors that keep the vacuum from running into furniture and other obstacles.

Affordable Price This robot vacuum is one of the least expensive in our rankings, but that doesn’t mean it sacrifices performance or quality.

Rave Reviews Out of nearly 5,000 customer reviews on Amazon, the ECOVACS DEEBOT N79 has 4.2 stars out of 5 and is lauded for its strong suction and long battery life.

Cons

One of the things you sacrifice for the low price point is more technologically advanced features like virtual mapping and smart home integration.

No Wi-Fi Connectivity The ECOVACS DEEBOT N79 can’t connect to Wi-Fi, so there’s no way to make it part of a smart home system or use it with Amazon Alexa for voice control.

4. iLife V3s Pro Robotic Vacuum

Best Battery Life

View on Amazon

The iLife V3s is an affordable robot vacuum that delivers excellent performance without all the extra bells and whistles you find on more expensive models.

Pros

This robot vacuum has the longest battery life of any of the vacuums that made our list. You can get up to two hours of cleaning time on one charge.

Low Profile Design The iLife is great for getting under furniture and into hard-to-reach places thanks to its low profile design that slides right under most home furnishings.

Strong Suction This is another crowd-pleaser when it comes to suction. Users report impressive power that picks up every speck, leaving floors cleaner than ever before.

Pet Hair Care Tech The iLife V3s was designed with furry friends in mind. This robot vacuum is on a mission to rid your home of dirt, dander, and pet hair. Plus, its tangle-free design makes cleaning the bin easy and quick.

Cons

The low price tag (around $160) means that advanced features like Wi-Fi connectivity and a mobile app are lacking.

No Smart Home Compatibility This robot vacuum can’t be connected to a smart home hub, a voice control speaker, or even a mobile app.

5. Samsung POWERbot R7040 Robot Vacuum

Best for Cleaning Edges

View on Amazon

This robot vacuum is loaded with features like virtual mapping and a special sensor that helps the Samsung POWERbot avoid obstacles and identify the optimal cleaning path.

Pros

Thanks to the Edge Clean Master that extends out to reach corners and edges, the Samsung POWERbot leaves no debris behind.

EasyPass Wheels If you need a robot vacuum that easily transitions from carpet to hard floors, this is the one for you. Large wheels help the vacuum smoothly move from one type of flooring to the next.

Washable Filter You’ll save money with the washable filter that can be hand-washed and reused to keep your robot vacuum working at top performance.

Powerful Suction for Pet Hair Samsung claims this vacuum delivers twenty times more suction than the previous POWERbot model. Users back that up with reports of how well the vacuum tackles pet hair, but they also note that pet fur can clog up the canister.

Cons

The biggest downsides to the Samsung POWERbot are unreliable software and a glitchy app.

Frustrating App Everything from constant crashing to difficult pairing make the app a sore spot for users. The good news is that the robot vacuum comes with a remote, so you don’t have to rely on the app if you find it too frustrating.

6. eufy RoboVac 11

Best for Pet Hair

View on Amazon

If your home is overrun with pet hair, then this affordable robot vacuum could be the solution you’ve been waiting for. A large bin and excellent suction make the eufy RoboVac 11 the perfect foil for fur and dander.

Pros

Even though this is a lower-priced model that’s missing smart home compatibility, the eufy RoboVac 11 delivers on so many other counts that we don’t think you’ll miss it.

Advanced Filter for Pets This robot vacuum uses a triple-filter system to take down all the dirt, dust, fur, and dander your home and pets can dish out.

Quiet Operation This is the quietest robot vacuum we found. It sucks up all manner of dirt and pet hair, and does it all so quietly that you might forget it’s working.

Easy-to-Clean Large Bin The eufy RoboVac 11 has one of the largest bins of all the vacuums we looked at, and the best thing is how easy it is to clean.

Cons

There are no high-tech features like Wi-Fi connectivity, smart home compatibility, or a mobile app included with the eufy RoboVac 11.

No Mobile App You can’t control this robot vacuum with your smartphone, but it does come with a remote control. You you can either operate the eufy Robovac manually or use the remote to schedule cleaning times.

bObsweep PetHair Plus Robot Vacuum and Mop

Best Multifunctional Vacuum

View on Amazon

If you want a robot that can clean up wet spills in addition to vacuuming, then look no further than the bObsweep PetHair Plus. There are other robot mops on the market, but what makes this one special is the addition of a robot vacuum. We like how well it takes care of a busy household that has multiple pets and people coming and going. But you need to be on your toes, because this robot vacuum and mop combo tends to get stuck easily when moving from one type of flooring to another. And it doesn’t come with the ability to integrate with a smart home hub, so voice control isn’t an option.

Tips for Getting the Most out of Your Robot Vacuum

Robot vacuums are new to most of us, so we wanted to pass on some of the most helpful tips we found to make sure your robot vacuum performs the way you want it to.

Clear the Way Robot vacuums are pretty smart, but just like an upright vacuum, they can’t work miracles. Make sure to keep the floor clear of clutter and small items that can get in the way or accidentally get sucked up by your robotic vacuum cleaner.

Make Charging Easy Make it easy for the robot vacuum to find and access the charging station. Place the charging station in an open area that has at least two feet of clearance on either side. We recommend finding a flat spot against a wall for best results.

Give Your Robot Vacuum a Checkup Keep your robot vacuum in tip-top shape—read the manufacturer’s recommendations for maintenance and follow those instructions. At a minimum, you should regularly check the bin, brushes, and sensors for tangles and dust buildup.

Save Your Cords Cords on the floor can trip up a robot vacuum. Use cable wire clips to keep cords out of harm’s way. Or block access with a shoe. An old tennis shoe becomes an ideal bumper to keep the vacuum at bay (just be sure to tuck in any shoelaces!).

Robot Vacuum FAQs

Robotic vacuum cleaners sound like something out of The Jetsons, but they’re quickly becoming a standard in American homes. If you’re on the fence about jumping on the robot vacuum cleaner trend, the questions below can help you decide if it’s time to go shopping. Best of all, your answers will make it easy to find the robot vacuum that’s a perfect match for your home and lifestyle.

What is a robot vacuum?

A robot vacuum cleaner is an automatic vacuum device that is programmed to clean floors all by itself. Robot vacuums don’t require human assistance to operate and can get the job done while you’re at work or running errands.

Robotic vacuums have come a long way since they hit the market in 1996. Today’s robot vacuum cleaners automatically return to their charging stations when their battery is low and most of them can pick up right where they left off once the battery is full. They can be programmed to clean on a specific schedule, and some models map your home as they work to make future cleaning more efficient. Many robot vacuums are designed to supplement a standard, upright vacuum cleaner, being used mostly for touch-ups in between regular vacuuming sessions.

How much area can a robot vacuum cover?

Consider how much area you want the vacuum to cover. Some robot vacuums work best in smaller spaces, like an apartment. Others can sweep up areas as big as 2,000 square feet. Robot vacuums with smaller capabilities can work in bigger spaces, but it takes longer to finish because they need to recharge a time or two. If you don’t mind how long it takes a robot vacuum to get the job done, then you could get away with one that has more-limited cleaning capacity.

Another thing to consider is how much clearance you have under furniture. You want to make sure the robot vacuum can fit under tables and chairs to get dirt and other detritus that’s lurking underneath. Robot vacuums tend to be around three or four inches tall, so pay attention to those specs when you’re shopping.

Can robot vacuums help with pet hair?

Staying on top of dog fur and cat hair can feel like a losing battle. How many times have you tracked down every last bit of fluff and fur only to find a brand new hairy gift left behind by your beloved pet? With a robot vacuum, you can wave goodbye to those frustrating discoveries. A robot vacuum can make new deposits of fur and hair disappear—and you won’t have to lift a finger.

Look for a robot vacuum that is designed to tackle things like pet hair and cat litter. You want super suction and a good filter. Features like non-tangle brushes are another perk to watch for. One note—you’ll have to pay extra attention to maintenance (cleaning out the bin, brushes, etc.) to keep your robot vacuum in top form if its main job is cleaning up after pets.

What types of flooring can robot vacuums clean?

Not all robot vacuums are equipped for every kind of flooring. While most should be able to handle both hard, bare floors (wood, vinyl, tile) and carpet, some do better on one or the other. Another thing to consider in regard to flooring is how well the robot vacuum transitions from one type of floor to another. Some are better at moving from hardwood to carpet or navigating throw rugs successfully.

Most robot vacuums work on low pile carpets, but shag carpet can be a problem. Rugs with tassels or fringe can also be tricky for a robot vacuum. Most manufacturers clearly indicate what types of floors their robot vacuums clean best, but we recommend either trying one out or reading customer reviews to make sure the vacuum you choose will be able to tackle the floors in your home.

How much does a robot vacuum cost?

Robot vacuums range from around $200 to as much as $1,000, but there are good ones at every price. Here’s a quick breakdown of what you can expect based on cost.

$200–$300: In this range, you’ll get a basic robot vacuum with good battery life and decent suction. The main features missing here are Wi-Fi connectivity, mapping, and smart home integration.

$300–$700: At this price point, you can expect mapping, mobile apps, self-cleaning brushes, Wi-Fi connectivity, and smart home capabilities.

$700 and higher: The extras offered in this price bracket are the latest tech advances, which typically appeal to early adopters and folks who love having the latest and greatest. But overall functionality won’t be drastically better than that found in less expensive robot vacuums.

Do robot vacuums work with smart homes?

If you’re interested in a robot vacuum, then you may be ready to get into other smart gadgets. Robot vacuums can become part of your overall home automation configuration. Vacuums that come with Wi-Fi or Bluetooth connectivity can be synced with a smart home hub or a voice-controlled speaker like Amazon Echo or Google Home.

The main advantage of integrating a robot vacuum with other smart home products is ease and convenience. For example, you might be able to use one app to control all of your smart appliances, rather than having to go into multiple apps or programs. Voice control is also a major perk. If your robot vacuum works with Alexa, for example, you can tell the vacuum to start cleaning without having to leave the sofa or reach for your phone to access an app.

A robot vacuum is a smart product and can be part of a complete home automation suite. Whether you’ve just dipped your toe in the pool of home automation or are completely submerged in smart technology, these FAQs can help you make the most of smart gadgets and gizmos.

What Is a “Smart Home”?

Which Devices Are Most Commonly Controlled in a Smart Home?

What Are the Benefits of Home Automation?

Ultimate Guide to Alexa

Home Automation Guide for Beginners

How to Automate Your Home with Amazon Alexa

Methodology

To find the best robot vacuums, we looked at more than fifteen models. We compared overall performance, suction, ease of use, maintenance requirements, and battery life. We also looked at features like scheduling, virtual mapping, mobile apps, and smart home compatibility. Beyond that, extras like pet-specific design and price were considered. Our rankings are the result of expert ratings, customer reviews, and independent research.

12 hours of research

15+ products considered

5,000+ customer reviews

8 coffees consumed

*Amazon.com list price as of 12/18/19 01:28 MST. Product prices and availability are accurate as of this date/time indicated and are subject to change. Any prices and availability information displayed on Amazon at the time of purchase will apply to the purchase of this product. Safewise.com utilizes paid Amazon links.

Certain content that appears on this site comes from Amazon. This content is provided “as is” and is subject to change or removal at any time.

2019 Best Home Security Systems

Vivint

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The post Best Robot Vacuums appeared first on SafeWise.

Article source here: Best Robot Vacuums

0 notes

andylocksmithtipsntricks · 5 years ago

Text

Best Robot Vacuums

Best Overall

iRobot Roomba 960

Read Review

View on Amazon

Read Review

Best for Large Spaces

Neato Botvac D7 Wi-Fi

Read Review

View on Amazon

Read Review

Budget Pick

ECOVACS N79

Read Review

View on Amazon

Read Review

Tired of cleaning your floors the old-fashioned way? Check out our list of the top robot vacuums, and bid farewell to that heavy upright vacuum cleaner.

Top 6 Robot Vacuums of 2018

iRobot Roomba 960 Robot Vacuum

Neato Botvac D7 Wi-Fi Robot Vacuum

ECOVACS DEEBOT N79 Robotic Vacuum

iLife V3s Pro Robotic Vacuum

Samsung POWERbot R7040 Robot Vacuum

eufy RoboVac 11

List Price * Battery Life Floor Types Virtual Mapping Good for Pet Hair

Best Overall

Best for Large Spaces

Budget Pick

Best Battery Life

Best for Cleaning Edges

Best for Pet Hair

iRobot Roomba 960 Neato Botvac D7 Wi-Fi ECOVACS DEEBOT N79 iLife V3s Pro Samsung POWERbot R7040 eufy RoboVac 11 $549.00 $599.99 $151.36 $159.99 $348.82 $407.45 75 mins. 60 mins. 100 mins. 120 mins. 90 mins. 90 mins. All carpet Rugs Hard surfaces Low carpet Hard surfaces Low carpet Hard surfaces All carpet Rugs Hard surfaces Low carpet Hard surfaces All carpet Rugs Hard surfaces ✓ Yes ✓ Yes X No X No X No X No ✓ Yes ✓ Yes X No ✓ Yes ✓ Yes ✓ Yes View on Amazon View on Amazon View on Amazon View on Amazon View on Amazon View on Amazon

Best Robot Vacuum Reviews

1. iRobot Roomba 960 Robot Vacuum

Best Overall

View on Amazon

iRobot’s Roomba is the best-known name in the robot vacuum game, so it’s no surprise this smart vacuum pioneer leads the pack for overall cleaning, features, and customer satisfaction.

Pros

Voice Control Options When you combine your Roomba with an Amazon Echo or Google Home device, you can clean the floors with nothing more than the sound of your voice.

Cons

Tricky App Setup Users complain that the app is confusing to set up on both Android and Apple products, especially when it comes to notifications.

2. Neato Botvac D7 Connected Wi-Fi Robot Vacuum

Best for Large Spaces

View on Amazon

The combination of a D-shape design and LaserSmart Mapping make the Neato Botvac D7 ideal for getting into corners and covering large areas without missing any spots.

Pros

This is one of the only robot vacuums we found that improves over time. The more you use it, the better job it does at keeping those floors clean.

Cons

One of the things you sacrifice for the low price point is more technologically advanced features like virtual mapping and smart home integration.

No Wi-Fi Connectivity The ECOVACS DEEBOT N79 can’t connect to Wi-Fi, so there’s no way to make it part of a smart home system or use it with Amazon Alexa for voice control.

3. ECOVACS DEEBOT N79 Robotic Vacuum Cleaner

Budget Pick

View on Amazon

The ECOVACS DEEBOT N79 has some of the strongest suction out there. It’s so good that users said they felt embarrassed after seeing how much dust and dirt the DEEBOT picked up.

Pros

With many robot vacuums priced higher than $500, it’s nice to find a powerful vacuum with rave reviews for right around $200.

Smart Sensors The ECOVACS DEEBOT N79 comes with smart sensors that keep the vacuum from running into furniture and other obstacles.

Affordable Price This robot vacuum is one of the least expensive in our rankings, but that doesn’t mean it sacrifices performance or quality.

Rave Reviews Out of nearly 5,000 customer reviews on Amazon, the ECOVACS DEEBOT N79 has 4.2 stars out of 5 and is lauded for its strong suction and long battery life.

Cons

One of the things you sacrifice for the low price point is more technologically advanced features like virtual mapping and smart home integration.

No Wi-Fi Connectivity The ECOVACS DEEBOT N79 can’t connect to Wi-Fi, so there’s no way to make it part of a smart home system or use it with Amazon Alexa for voice control.

4. iLife V3s Pro Robotic Vacuum

Best Battery Life

View on Amazon

The iLife V3s is an affordable robot vacuum that delivers excellent performance without all the extra bells and whistles you find on more expensive models.

Pros

This robot vacuum has the longest battery life of any of the vacuums that made our list. You can get up to two hours of cleaning time on one charge.

Low Profile Design The iLife is great for getting under furniture and into hard-to-reach places thanks to its low profile design that slides right under most home furnishings.

Strong Suction This is another crowd-pleaser when it comes to suction. Users report impressive power that picks up every speck, leaving floors cleaner than ever before.

Cons

The low price tag (around $160) means that advanced features like Wi-Fi connectivity and a mobile app are lacking.

No Smart Home Compatibility This robot vacuum can’t be connected to a smart home hub, a voice control speaker, or even a mobile app.

5. Samsung POWERbot R7040 Robot Vacuum

Best for Cleaning Edges

View on Amazon

This robot vacuum is loaded with features like virtual mapping and a special sensor that helps the Samsung POWERbot avoid obstacles and identify the optimal cleaning path.

Pros

Thanks to the Edge Clean Master that extends out to reach corners and edges, the Samsung POWERbot leaves no debris behind.

Washable Filter You’ll save money with the washable filter that can be hand-washed and reused to keep your robot vacuum working at top performance.

Cons

The biggest downsides to the Samsung POWERbot are unreliable software and a glitchy app.

6. eufy RoboVac 11

Best for Pet Hair

View on Amazon

Pros

Even though this is a lower-priced model that’s missing smart home compatibility, the eufy RoboVac 11 delivers on so many other counts that we don’t think you’ll miss it.

Advanced Filter for Pets This robot vacuum uses a triple-filter system to take down all the dirt, dust, fur, and dander your home and pets can dish out.

Quiet Operation This is the quietest robot vacuum we found. It sucks up all manner of dirt and pet hair, and does it all so quietly that you might forget it’s working.

Easy-to-Clean Large Bin The eufy RoboVac 11 has one of the largest bins of all the vacuums we looked at, and the best thing is how easy it is to clean.

Cons

There are no high-tech features like Wi-Fi connectivity, smart home compatibility, or a mobile app included with the eufy RoboVac 11.

bObsweep PetHair Plus Robot Vacuum and Mop

Best Multifunctional Vacuum

View on Amazon

Tips for Getting the Most out of Your Robot Vacuum

Robot vacuums are new to most of us, so we wanted to pass on some of the most helpful tips we found to make sure your robot vacuum performs the way you want it to.

Robot Vacuum FAQs

What is a robot vacuum?

How much area can a robot vacuum cover?

Can robot vacuums help with pet hair?

What types of flooring can robot vacuums clean?

How much does a robot vacuum cost?

Robot vacuums range from around $200 to as much as $1,000, but there are good ones at every price. Here’s a quick breakdown of what you can expect based on cost.

$200–$300: In this range, you’ll get a basic robot vacuum with good battery life and decent suction. The main features missing here are Wi-Fi connectivity, mapping, and smart home integration.

$300–$700: At this price point, you can expect mapping, mobile apps, self-cleaning brushes, Wi-Fi connectivity, and smart home capabilities.

Do robot vacuums work with smart homes?

What Is a “Smart Home”?

Which Devices Are Most Commonly Controlled in a Smart Home?

What Are the Benefits of Home Automation?

Ultimate Guide to Alexa

Home Automation Guide for Beginners

How to Automate Your Home with Amazon Alexa

Methodology

12 hours of research

15+ products considered

5,000+ customer reviews

8 coffees consumed

2019 Best Home Security Systems

Vivint

Best Home Automation

View Plans

ADT

Best Monitoring

View Plans

Frontpoint

Best Customer Service

View Plans

Protect America

Budget Pick

View Plans

Link Interactive

Best Basic Plans

View Plans

The post Best Robot Vacuums appeared first on SafeWise.

Article source here: Best Robot Vacuums

0 notes