#we voted for this fucking man in severe cognitive decline

[sanctissimx]

in true mentally ill fashion, I will be dyeing my hair blue again today so that I feel a sense of control

[thetiniestkris]

Reflecting on how women must be *perfect* to succeed. I talk a lot with my therapist about my issues with perfectionism. She does a lot to try to help me let go of perfectionism by reframing it, in my situation at least, as an expectation of sexism. She reminds me that it's not actually a requirement, and I'm allowed to make mistakes.

But then I go to work (a professional kitchen), where I was passed on a promotion about 4 times in favor of new hires before finally getting it. Where I was told I was "too good at cold line to put on hot line". And then when I did get promoted to hot line, my raise was $1/hr less than my male coworker's raise for the same position, the same coworker who is always late (last week he was late every day for not less than 10 minutes and at worst an hour one day), who they are actively trying to fire, as soon as they can hire a replacement. I think back on the five months of a new hire blaming every issue on me, and my boss siding with him until the guy flipped out and left. I think of how my boss threatened to take away my shifts after I made one (admittedly bad, but cmon) mistake after I finally got my promotion and after a single day of training on that station. I think about how my boss decided, nevermind, you don't get to learn how to do dinner specials because the first one you made was too mid. I'm punished, over and over, for not being perfect, while the guys in the kitchen are praised and promoted for being mediocre. I think about how my boss came in to my job at 9:30 PM, angry that he got into some drinking-induced argument with my boyfriend and expected me to have answers. I think about how every single day for a year, my boss found some way to nitpick and blame me for others' fuckups. Every fucking day.

Kamala Harris was a mid candidate, it's true, but there is so much sexism and bias in this country, she had to jump hurdles a white male candidate would never had to have done. Not to mention, there were a slew of bad choices not made by her, giving her a severe disadvantage. Why was Biden put up as a nominee in 2020, when he had a history of calling black men "super predators"? When he was already clearly showing cognitive decline? Why the fuck did Biden try to run again? That alone cratered the election, by cutting into her campaign time and dissolving trust us leftists had tentatively given the establishment democrats, after promises of a younger and more progressive candidate. Why did it come to people saying "I don't like Biden, but I would vote for a fish if they threw it on that stage"? Kamala Harris will have her campaign analyzed to death but the fact is, she did outstanding for the time she had, even if I didn't agree with a lot her past political actions. And she will still be blamed for it not being perfect.

How am I supposed to let go of my perfectionism when I'm so often punished for accidentally not being perfect? How am I supposed to let go of perfectionism when I see a woman on the national scale blamed for the decade of bad choices from the democratic party?

I know this isn't the message of "we have to stay positive and keep fighting" people are looking for, but fuck. I don't have that in me right now. Give me a week to mourn what we've lost at least.

I already have had a man tell me I'm overreacting to this whole situation. A man who voted democrat.

Being a woman is exhausting.