#we viewed the body today and made our way to the family to express condolences

[kittlyns]

Ended up going to a wake today, begged my family not to leave me alone (bc the last time I saw any of the people there I was a literal child), and what did they do the first chance they got? Left my ass alone.

[kissme-hs]

Tainted love: 3

Here it is!! I’m so sorry it took me so long to update it but let me know what you think! Hope you enjoy it.

~Ria

Pairing: Fem! Reader x Chris Evans

Warnings: None.

*_*_*_*_*_*

Hatred is far from the feeling you felt. You were disgusted. Utterly disgusted with the man you put your trust and faith and your heart into who did nothing but took it for granted and it all into little crumbs of pain. All this time you blamed yourself for HIS actions that he not only did while being in his complete sense but knowing how wrong it is-continued doing it. The image you had of Chris in your mind now vanished, the man you once thought deserved to be prayed now made your stomach churn because of how shameful he turned out to be.

After sending him the text you thought, oh you thought that he would realize what he lost, that he would feel a little bit at least of regret in the back of his head but you were so wrong. It not only made you feel worthless but made you realize instead how your love meant nothing to him, how all those years you spent in each other’s arm vowing to each other to be in love until the end of time was nothing but a lie to him. Where to you it meant your entire life.

One doesn’t stay with a person for three years not to just fuck and say I love you’s for fun. With the years the feelings grow strong and at some point, you start fantasizing marrying that person, having kids with the person, grow old with the person. But when one decides to go and cheat, putting all the years of love in ignorance and throwing it all in the pit of darkness not only everything changes but the dreams once knitted by the eyes of the one who remained faithful in love, who was the true lover gets struck by the lightening of reality. And once the dreams crashes, it becomes nearly impossible to dream again because the dreamer starts seeing the real world.

Fuck dreams.

Became your to go motto ever since you knocked on his door.

The heavy teal door opened after a few knocks as you held your breath getting yourself ready to face the man who ripped your heart apart. But instead you were met by a pair of green eyes, gorgeous eyes. She stood there in his hoodie and a pair of short showing her perfect toned legs. Her dirty blonde hair and fuller plumps would made any man lose his girl and go crawling to her. She was an absolute piece of art.

“Chris we have someone here for you” She yelled leaning back a bit so the man could hear her. She gave you a side smile as a gesture of kindness. She was aware she was a homewrecker, she knew how much Chris loved you and she also knew being a good friend she should’ve stopped him when things became a routine between them two but she couldn’t say no to him. Chris would make any women go crawling to him too. She was equally shameful for what she has done not as close to how Chris was feeling but still. So when Chris asked her to come over explaining her what happen which she knew would some day she didn’t hesitate coming over comforting him.

“i-im Samantha” she replied stepping aside letting you step inside of your his house. The smell of familiar cologne and candles hit your nostrils making you tear up from the past good memories. Gi ving her a tiniest sad smile and a nod, you stepped inside of the house. Turning your gaze up to the sound of approaching footsteps you saw the man, and oh sweet jesus you thought you’d hate him but how could you when the feeling of love was always greater than hatred. But the pain crept up when you saw Samantha walking to him and rubbing his side comforting him, though she was guilty, she still at some point enjoyed the attention Chris gave her.

Though she might have a portion of kindness in her heart she was known for breaking homes. She was used to getting in pants of men who were committed. It made her feel special; it made her feel like gold that everyone loved chasing. Especially in this case, knowing what a prize Chris’s girlfriend, you were she was over the moon. She loved how Chris was willing to give up a beautiful woman with a proper job and who had her life sorted for someone who was nothing compared to you.

“Y/n” he breathed out ignoring the woman rubbing his arm. His eyes getting wet seeing your face after days. Jeez only if he could kiss you and tell you how much he missed you and loved you.

“I-im sorry, I’m so sorry” He said walking to you as you raised your hand telling him to stop, which he understood nodding his head and taking a step back. He felt the ache in his heart.

“He really is sorry, he told me everything after you texted him so I came running” Samantha uttered rubbing Chris’s back. It did nothing to you but made your blood boil as you closed your eyes and took a deep breath not wanting to say something which could hurt her feelings. Opening your mouth telling her to leave you heard Chris say that instead.

“Can I ask you to leave please?” He asked her taking a deep breath trying not to yell either.

“I-“

“Get out, get off my property” you spat. You and Chris jointly brought this house so you wouldn’t feel a burden on him being the independent woman you were. Feeling like she was shamed in front of two successful people, Samantha gathered her stuff and left within the next coming minute. Though you were a softie, there was no doubt you has a powerful side too.

“I’m sorry baby, I am so sorry. Please give me a second chance.”

“Why Chris? Why did you cheat on me? Was my love was not enough for you to sleeping with her. Tell me Chris did you not feel a little bit of shame fucking on OUR bed? Tell me why did you have to go and do that making me look like a fool? Why did you waste my time? WHY DID YOU FAKED THE LOVE if you wanted to cheat?” You finally let it out. You were crying at this not giving a fuck. He deserved to see how broken he left you. You were not going to act like everything was fine, like you didn’t care when you felt dead inside.

“No. No baby. Never for once I ever faked my love for you.” He cried cupping your cheeks-you finally let him touch you because you wanted to feel his warmth on your cold skin. His own eyes crying as you sobbed yourself.

“I-I don’t know why I did that. I don’t know why I decided to chase a rock when I had the most precious diamond. She is nothing compared to you. Nothing. I love you so much” He whispered resting his forehead against yours. You knew deep down he meant what he said. You felt the words hitting your body making your knees go week but it was for the best. The separation. So pushing him back slightly you gathered your broken pieces up.

“I just came to tell you that I am moving to California. I will always cherish the good memories you gave me” you gave him a broken smile wiping your tears with the back of your hand.

“No please give me one more chance” Chris pleaded grabbing your hands. His defeated eyes begged yours to give in, to see that he wasn’t lying anymore. That he was truly sorry for what he has done but being the strong headed woman you are, you shook your head and wiped his tears with your hand before cupping his cheek.

“It’s for the best. I still love you, but it’s not the same Chris. Let me let you go”

That was an year ago. An year ago you left the man standing on his porch as you turned your back on his forever, making your way to the new life that waited ahead of you in Los Angeles. The city of angels. The city that gave you a chance to put your words into songs, let your shattered voice sing it in a melody helping you reach out to him without reaching out to him.

And today you stood in front of over 100 amazing successful celebrities who warmly welcomed you in the family of Hollywood and decided to join you for your album launch party. You didn’t hesitate writing down your deepest condolences you had for yourself and singing it out. Every word people heard in the songs came from the bottom of your heart. Came within the true feeling of getting lost and found again.

Getting into the industry wasn’t hard for you. You were already a known person working for Hollywood and it not only being the reason how you met Chris it also gave you an opportunity  to let your talent out. All those months you spent working hard to get acceptance by one of the music producers was the time when Chris was fucking Samantha. Only if he stayed the night you begged him to, he would’ve known it all.

Your album was dedicated to Chris. No one knew expect you. No one could know anyways.

Stepping down the mini platform where you expressed you gratitude to the audience you made your way to where the bar was set up to drink in the emotions that were bubbling up your throat from all the love you received to the pain that still ached in every nerve in your body. It was impossible to erase the memory of him fucking Samantha from your head. You were proud to you say you tried. Tried every way of escaping his face haunting your dreams every night. The feelings choking you down. The pain eating you alive. But you couldn’t.

“What you said there was beautiful.” You heard the deep voice of the man who you left standing on the door of Boston an year ago. Turning your body around, mentally preparing yourself for the wave of mixed emotions to hit you like a truck you faced his adorningly beautiful face. His beard looked fuller and his hair fluffier. He looked the same but his eyes looked dead, just like they were when you left.

“Thank you.” You gave him a broken smile.

“Can we talk? Please?” He asked you with eyes full of hope and you nodded letting him guide you out to the balcony that had the perfect view of the city. He deserved some time with you after an year of you completely blocking him out. He deserved to know that the words coming out of your mouth in the song were written about him.

“It about you, you know. The album” You said walking over to the railing looking at the illuminous city.

“I figured, I never knew you were working on something so big.” He stood beside you.

“You would have if you stayed”

“Listen, I’m not going to waste any more time. Im here to beg you back in life, I am sorry for what I have done but please give me a chance. That one year spent without you was my living hell. Everyday I prayed for you to come back but you never did and there’s no question why. I am a horrible man but I promise if you let me prove it that I am so much better than I was I wont let you down. I will love you even more than I ever have” he said with a soft voice guilt dripping with every word he spoke making you turn around to face him. His eyes glistening with tears and his hands holding each other in front of his chest.

Man was literally begging you.

“Hey you are not a horrible man.” You whispered walking to him as you put his hands down and held his one cheek in your hand. He instantly nuzzled his nose feeling your skin after days of being away from you. His knees were giving away and so was his heart.

“We all make mistakes but learning from them and moving on is important. I forgave you the minute I stepped away from our relationship. You’re nothing but still the most precious man I ever had” you said. Your own eyes picking the tears.

“then give me a chance” he spoke kissing your palm staring down In your eyes making your belly turn in knots.

“I cant. I have moved on Chris” You said breaking his heart. He breathed out biting his lower lip as he looked on. He never felt so defeated and helpless. But this is what he deserved for throwing away the best he ever had. For not respecting the beautiful relationship and woman he was meant to guard. He opened his mouth but the lump in his throat got in the way. He could just break down.

“Then let me be your friend. I just want to be in your life. Make up for what I’ve missed. Please don’t say no.” He trembled in fear you would reject him but instead you nod your head and pull him in a hug knowing he would break if you didn’t. Still knowing him like the back of your head you gave in his request hoping you could contain the emotions.

It is said, two who once fell in love can never be friends. Once in love, always in love.

So you stood there holding him, closed your eyes letting the man calm his cries. Falling back in the chakra of tainted love.

-

Tags

@captainchrisstan

@evansphnx12

@adriannajackson

[ayamari-no-goshi]

Eidolon 11 | (T)

ff.net | AO3

Fandom: Danny Phantom (DP)

Summary:  AU: What started off as the result of a simple act of rebellion ends up causing his life to spin out of control. How will young Danny cope with the results as well as a past that has a strange habit of coming back to haunt him.

Warnings: rated T for violence, mentions of death, kidnapping, and various other things

Parings: hints of Danny/Sam much later on

Notes: originally uploaded to Ff.net. Cross-posted to AO3 and tumblr

11: Alternative Paths

The police officers told him they needed to ask him a few questions. What they forgot to mention was he would be locked in a small, remarkably bare room for five hours with a police officer who was dead set in viewing him as a suspect. Danny had never been more relieved to get out of a room before in his life. Yeah, he understood family members needed to be questioned due to the statistics surrounding such crimes, but seriously! Did someone as scrawny as him really look like he could have hurt Winston that badly without getting any sort of injury in the process?

However, he couldn't really blame them for being suspicious, especially when it came to his whereabouts the previous night. How do you rationally explain you were chased by a murderous robot-ghost-thing? The obvious answer was to avoid the topic all together. He hoped he was convincing enough when he said he and his friends had taken a walk in the evening and returned to Sam's house to watch some movies. He specifically avoided mentioning the park. There was no telling what the officers would think if they learned he might have been around when it got torn up. He was actually kind of surprised no one in the precinct had mentioned it.

A few times during his interview, he had nervously flattened his bangs a few times, hoping to hide the cut he had suddenly remembered getting at the beginning of his terrifying adventure. The officer interviewing him had noticed the motion, which caused him to leave it alone the rest of the time he was in the room. Surprisingly, Danny wasn't asked about it. A little wary after he was finished and allowed to exit the room, he touched the spot only to find smooth skin. It took a lot of self-control to not dash to a reflective surface and examine his forehead. There was no use in making the officers more suspicious. As weird as a missing cut was he could wait until he got home to check.

Scratch that… he could check after he found a place to stay for a while. As he was about to exit the station, an older officer kindly reminded him of the fact his house was currently considered a crime scene. After apologizing for a lack of effort from the staff for trying to contact his family and promising to personally look into it in the morning, he directed Danny to a nearby phone situated at the front desk.

Danny was a little surprised at the kind attitude of the officer as he had been dealing with a special type of dick for the past several hours, but it was a nice change. Shaking his head a little, he moved to the phone to call Sam, praying she was still awake as it was approaching midnight. Both of his friends told him they wanted an update, but with it being late and he being emotionally, physically, and mentally drained, the only topic he wanted to discuss involved where he would be staying for the night.

As he was dialing her number, the door to the station opened and a tall man strolled in. The newcomer was tall and rather thin. He wore a clean black business suit which appeared to be expertly cared for and rather expensive. Gray hair had been slicked back into a neat ponytail, and calculating cold blue eyes surveyed his surroundings. Danny dropped the phone in surprise as he realized the man in front of him was the one and only Vlad Masters.

The sound from the phone brought him to Masters' attention, causing the man to adopt an unsettling grin. "Why here you are! I've been looking all over for you!" The tone of his voice and his expression adopted a semblance of concern, but it did not reach his eyes. "I was so worried after I found out what happened to Winston. My condolences, but I'm glad you're safe and sound."

"Don't talk about Winston like he's dead!" Danny snapped. "Look, can you just go away? If you haven't realized, it's been a pretty bad day for me, and I don't feel like talking to you right now."

"Of course. How inconsiderate of me. After everything you've been through today, you must be exhausted. Come, I'll make sure you're well taken care of."

It took Danny a moment to grasp the implications of Vlad's statement. "Wait… what? There's no way I'm going with you!"

"Poor boy, you must be more tired than you realize." The businessman pinched the bridge of his nose as he let out a dramatic sigh. "Don't you remember? It was determined that you would be placed into my care if anything were to happen to Winston."

"That's news to me!"

"Excuse me, but what exactly is going on here?" The sound of the officer's voice made him jump. He had forgotten there was another soul in the room. However, he couldn't be more relieved. Being in the room alone with the businessman was an unnerving thought. It was even more relieving when he realized the officer seemed to be equally suspicious.

In a truly professional manner, Vlad introduced himself and explained his relationship to Danny as well as his involvement in the custody battle. Again, he mentioned how he was now to act as a guardian in Winston's stead.

"I already told you, I'm not going anywhere with you!" Danny growled as he glared at the man. Something was very wrong with the picture. Winston didn't trust Vlad, and there was no way he would let him fall into the billionaire's hands.

"You have to forgive the boy. We had a little spat the last time we saw each other, and I'm afraid he hasn't forgiven me," Vlad apologetically explained to the officer.

"Spat? You broke into my house?"

Before Vlad could respond, the officer held up his hand to halt the brewing argument. "Mr. Masters, do you have some sort of proof you can take the boy?" Vlad's expression quickly changed from shocked to insulted as the officer spoke. "Surely a man of your standing can understand our position. With the way Mr. Wolfe was attacked, we cannot rule anyone out as a potential suspect. With you being involved in a custody battle and Danny's status as a minor, we are rather uncomfortable sending him on his way like this. I'm also fairly certain you weren't notified of the situation…" The officer's eyes narrowed as he appraised the man. "Which leads me to wonder how you found out."

"One of my staff members was going to drop off some papers at the house when she saw the police cars and asked what happened" Vlad explained with an impatient air. "But that's not important right now…"

As he watched Vlad begin to argue with the officer, Danny couldn't help but feel a rush of gratitude. For whatever reason, the officer did not seem to believe Vlad's story and generally seemed concerned for his wellbeing.

Everything seemed to be going in his favor when Danny was nearly bowled over by a sudden blast of cold air rushed by him. Startled, he started looking around to find some possible source… and open window, a vent, something to explain it. While he tried to wrack his brains for some other answer when the normal explanations were ruled out, he noticed the officer stumble slightly. He didn't think anything of it until the man rubbed his forehead and excused himself for a moment.

Rather unsettled by the officer's display and being left alone with Vlad, Danny moved back to the phone to attempt to resume his call. Though he was able to reach Sam's house this time, a presumed butler answered and informed him that "Miss Samantha is asleep and no longer taking calls for the night." While Danny was pretty sure it was a lie, he went with it and asked the man to give a message to her when he could.

Displeased by the turn of events, he was about to try calling Tucker when the officer returned to the room. Something did not seem right as he looked at him. The man's posture seemed stiff, and his eyes were unfocused and reddish. Wait… Danny blinked and rubbed his eyes before checking again. The man's eyes were actually red! Weren't they brown before?

"Sorry for the inconvenience." The officer's voice had an unusual mechanical quality to it… almost as if the words he was saying weren't actually his. He held up a document of some sorts as he spoke again. "It seems like someone did verify this earlier, but just forgot to place it somewhere it could be found."

"Does this mean everything's in order?" Vlad asked with a voice filled with hardly concealed delight.

"Yes. You can take the boy. We'll be in touch within the next few days to let you know how Wolfe is doing."

"Splendid! Come on my boy, it's time to go!"

Danny backed away as Vlad beckoned to him, nearly tripping over the desk in the process. His mind was screaming all sorts of warnings at him. The entire situation felt wrong, but he had no idea how to escape it. Vlad was blocking his way to the front door, and he doubted the few officers left in the building would appreciate a desperate search for the rear exit.

"What did you do to him?" he demanded as his eyes darted between both men before he pointed at Vlad. He knew he probably wasn't going to get an answer, but he hoped he could stall the man long enough to come up with some sort of plan.

"Pardon me? Whatever do you mean?"

"Y-you know what I mean!" While he tried to keep the anger in his voice, it was quickly giving way to panic. Vlad kept moving towards him wearing an increasingly predatory expression which was really creeping him out. Strangely, the thought of accidently falling through the wall crossed his mind. Unsettling as it was, it was a far better situation than the one he was currently in. "The officer's not acting right!"

Vlad replied, but his words were drowned out as a strange coldness started to seep into his body, quickly filling every aspect. He tried to escape, thinking it was somehow tied to where he was standing, but his legs wouldn't respond. They felt heavy and strangely detached; his arms were beginning to feel the same way. He tried to yell out without any success. He soon realized his mind was being pushed further away from the sensations of his body and into something like a dark crevasse to be stored and forgotten.

But the coldness was not finished. It briefly brushed against his mind and seemed to whisper in an almost familiar voice, "Relax… It'll be safer for you and me if you do…"

Danny's last conscious thought before the darkness completely took him was to wonder if he was ever going to wake up.

….

When he came to, Danny found himself lying on his back and staring at an unfamiliar white ceiling. His mind felt groggy and his body heavy. Though he wasn't sure, he felt as if he had been asleep for quite some time. Sitting up, he tried to remember how he got where he was… only, he didn't know where that might be.

Looking around, he realized something wasn't right. The room he was in was rather large. It was a bedroom, not much different from Sam's, only it didn't have any posters or the same dark decorations. In fact, the room was mostly white save for some wooden furniture. Even the four-poster bed he was sitting on had a white comforter and curtains. The only real decoration in the room was a painting on the wall directly across from him which seemed to show military conquest with… a paranormal influence. It was rather grotesques.

The blank room gave him an uneasy feeling. Although it definitely wasn't, it gave him the feeling he was in a jail of sorts. Unnerved, he slowly got up and moved to the room's single window. After moving the curtains aside, he cursed as he realized the glass was heavily frosted, preventing him from seeing any scenery. His next move was to try the door, but it was locked.

After a panicked few minutes trying everything he could think of to attempt to open the door, he placed his back against the door and slid down it. What was he going to do? The better question was what was going to happen to him? With the room being blank, it gave him no indication of what he should expect. He should, he supposed, be thankful for it, but the wait might be too much for him to handle. What was the old adage? The suspense is worse than the actual event? He really hoped that wouldn't be the case.

xxxxxx

The sound of one of her parents calling for her to come into the downstairs wafted through the room, however, Sam was dead set on ignoring the summons. There were far more important things on her mind than dealing with whatever new 'daughter improvement project' they had come up with.

She was incredibly worried about her friend who neither she nor Tucker had heard from in a little over two days. At first she thought it might be due to being overwhelmed by suddenly finding out the man who raised him had been severely attacked and/or the police being jerks, but a call earlier in the day really concerned her.

She had been thinking about calling the police in the morning (while skipping class due to a feigned illness), however they beat her to the punch. Around eleven, she had received a call from one of the detectives asking her if she had heard from Danny. She told him no right before demanding to know what was wrong. Though it took a little bit of coaxing (and a reminder of her parents' influences), the officer admitted they had no idea where the boy was. He disappeared after his interview with another officer, and though they hated to admit it, after failing to contact him or anyone else who might have the boy, he was being labeled as a missing person. Her immediate response was to insult the competence of him and the rest of the force as the boy had gone missing from underneath their noses, but after she calmed down a bit, she promised to help in whatever way she could.

Sam sat down on her large purple clad bed and stared up at one of the posters on the ceiling as she tried to understand the situation. Her friend, who seemed to attract terrible and odd events, was now missing. Danny had tried to contact her the night he disappeared, but her family had forbidden her from further calls when she had returned home that night after they learned about the attack on Winston. Somehow, they had gotten the notion whatever had harmed Winston could attack her if she continued to talk to Danny. Though it was kind of nice to know they cared, they had taken it way overbroad.

But what was strange about the situation was there was no security image of Danny leaving the precinct. The officer had explained to her they had installed cameras a while back after someone had tried to break in to the office in an attempt to steal their guns. Due to safely concerns, they regularly had them checked, but the night Danny disappeared, they had a major malfunction. There was an image of him entering the entrance area, but after a few minutes, the image distorted so badly they could not make heads or tails of it. It also seemed to return to normal rather suddenly after a while, but Danny was long gone by then.

A look at the clock told her she was going to have to wait a while before she could contact Tucker. Unlike her, he had been forced to go to school. She had no idea if he already knew Danny was missing, but no matter what, he was going to help her try to find him. Tucker was the probably the only person in town who could possibly get an image off of the damaged security tape, and the only other person (besides her) who Danny had trusted with his issues. They had to try and do what they could to help him.

…

"So, any luck?" Sam asked the boy currently sitting on her rug surrounded by any number of other electronic equipment. He had been staring at the screen of his PDA with an intense look for quite some time.

She had managed to contact Tucker mere moments after he was finished with his classes for the day and explained the situation. After freaking out a bit, he told her he would be over soon after he made a quick stop. He arrived about forty minutes later looking more determined than he had ever seen him while carrying a bookbag filled to the brim with tech supplies she had never seen before. After asking if he needed anything, Tucker quickly went to work with his task.

"…Whoever did this to this footage is really good…" he eventually replied after a few more minutes of silence.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked hesitantly. It was rare to hear such a tone in Tucker's voice when it came to technology. He could usually work his way around a system in a few seconds, minutes if it was more complicated, but this was really causing him problems.

"It's hard to explain… Usually, people just modify existing images when they don't something seen, but this guy actually managed to replace some of the footage with an error screen…"

"So… it's gone… Like completely, gone? You can't trace it or anything?" There was no way for her to hide the hint of panic in her voice. If Tucker couldn't bring up anything, no one could… which meant they weren't going to have anything to use to find Danny.

A small laugh escaped Tucker, which caused her to stare at the boy. "Jeez, Sam, you shouldn't think so little of me. Who do you think I am? This guy, though good, made a small mistake. I guess he got interrupted or something because he started just covering up the image after a while instead of changing it. To most people, it's nearly impossible to catch, but it's there. Just give me a little bit of time…."

"A little bit of time?" Sam repeated as she watched him frantically work with his PDA. "How long are we talking about?"

He hit a few more buttons on the screen before he looked up and smiled. "Does 'now' work for you?"

"Tucker, you're amazing!"

"I know, I know. But it's nice to have my fans remind me."

Sam pulled down his hat in response as she sat next to him on the floor. "Anyways, do you have the entire footage?"

"I couldn't get part of it due to the replacement… but it looks like a little less than half was just modified…. So, let's see what no one wanted us to find…." He pressed a button on the screen and a fuzzy image began to appear. On the footage, they could see Danny backing away from someone standing near the door. It was difficult to make out, but judging from Danny's posture, he did not seem to be happy to see the person. After a little bit, Danny stopped retreating and followed the unknown man out the door.

Without any prodding, Tucker tried to see if he could clear the image a little or at least clear up the image of the suspect. After frantically trying several different techniques, he sighed and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. According to him, even though the person had changed methods, they were still able to damage the rest of the footage.

"I'll continue to work with it when I get home," he promised. "This is going to require some big guns for me to get something useful out of this. But don't worry; I'm not going to give up. After he saved our lives, I think this is the least I can do for him."

…..

Tucker had been booted from the house as soon as Sam's parents caught him being there. Thinking back, she was a little surprised he had managed to sneak past them in the first place since they were particularly good at catching people going up to her room. They had punished her in response by having her stay in her room for the rest of the night, which didn't bother her in the least bit.

Around seven in the evening she received a call on her cell. Noticing the number, she picked it up as quickly as possible, hoping her parents didn't hear it ringing. "Did you find anything?" she asked the caller as a form of greeting. The caller's reply was spoken too quickly and frantically for her to understand. "Whoa, slow down Tucker! I can't understand you!"

"Sam… it's worse than we thought!" came his panicked reply. "I managed to identify who was in the police station with Danny."

"Yeah? Well, who was it?"

"It was… Vlad Masters…."

Sam barely registered the phone slipping from her fingers and landing on the floor. How could she be so stupid? She knew that man had an interest in getting hold of Danny and should be the first logical suspect, but she didn't realize he would have stooped so low.

Angry with herself, she reached down to grab her phone so she could calm a frantic Tucker but stopped midway as a thought crossed her mind. How were they going to be able to get Danny back from a man who had mastered in lies with an unimaginable fortune to back him up?

=============================================================

I just wanted to point out that the way these officers are depicted is due to experience. The ones in the borough where I grew up were usually nice, but if they had it in their minds you did something wrong, you could be treated like trash. But at the same time, they're the reason why my childhood bully wasn't excepted into the NFL - they slapped him with assault charges when he decided to get into a fight while he was in college. I have mixed feelings. The officers from the neighboring borough were wonderful.

[whatdoyouexpectthistime]

MJS Aftermath - SIX FEET Part 3

While humble had never been easy for Miho, she had much bowing to do when she eventually went home to face Goto’s family. Though difficult, her apologies were sincere, for she had no desire to hurt them or compound their suffering, even if they did not agree with her point of view. A compromise was struck, and though she would not concede her belief that Goto was still alive, she accepted no accord would be met and did not pursue further attempts to convince them the whole funeral thing was a sham.

She resigned herself to being the most supporting daughter and sister she could be, though Issei seemed unsurprisingly angry at her still.

Shinichi, Seiji’s father, would have liked traditional Shinto customs observed, but the circumstances being what they were, there were several steps concerning the corpse that could simply not be performed as one might with a fully intact body.

Still, Miho returned to the Goto family residence out of Tokyo to help in the preparation of food offerings; her only real contribution that all offerings be made at a reasonably cool temperature, the way Seiji would have been able to eat it. But her resolve did not waver.

As the process proceeded toward the wake, she’d had several follow-up conversations with Liana, who had pledged to use her journalistic sources to investigate what current criminal organisations within Japan would have access to highly restricted flammables, despite knowing her husband would not be impressed if he found her meddling. So far, she had come up empty, though several organised crime groups had certainly been more active of late; Liana did not keep this from Miho or Jazz, the latter who was staying in accommodations nearby to continue offering Miho her support.

On the day of the wake, everyone visibly donned the darkness of their grief, and Miho robotically greeted mourners to accept their condolences.

She wanted to shout out how pointless all their words were, their tears, when Seiji was still alive somewhere – not a pile of bones awaiting further cremation – but she kept it buried behind a stoic, if tired mask.

Priests prayed and prayed and prayed, before mourners were fed, but Miho had no appetite. Under Subaru and Jazz’s watchful eyes, she remained quiet, while those who didn’t know her very well at all whispered about how strong the wife of a police officer had to be, how brave she was.

“This is normal, right?” Subaru whispered to Jazz as the pair observed Miho’s blank expression.

Her eyes were directed at the coffin, but there was nothing to see in her gaze at all.

“Miho’s never normal,” Jazz replied just as quietly. “And you know she’s only doing this for Goto’s family; she still won’t believe he’d dead.”

“I guess, maybe I can’t blame her, after that whole thing with her ex-husband’s faked death and all,” Subaru noted, but he was scowling – after all, this was difficult for him too. “But, how long do you think this will last?”

Jazz tilted her head a little as she considered her best friend, then looked up into Subaru’s face.

“I think you know her well enough now,” she said. “If she believes something, no one will sway her.”

“So, what do we do?” he scowled, as people began to line up to say their final farewells.

“We just be here for her, if she needs us,” Jazz shrugged, drawing in a deep breath and releasing it slowly. “For her, this isn’t nearly over.”

Shinichi first, Haruka then Issei, then it was Miho’s turn to stand before Goto’s coffin and bid farewell to the man she loved more than her own life.

It seemed silence fell, a thick blanket of tense expectation for those who knew how she felt; but when she spoke it was so softly only the closest ears could have overheard.

“I will never let you go,” she whispered, glaring at the coffin intensely. “And when I find you, I’m going to kick your ass for putting me and your family through this.”

That was his send off, and when all had passed and said their goodbye, the immediate family travelled to the crematorium.

It was ironic – Miho even wanted to laugh at the idea a man reduced to bone would be cooked all over again in the name of tradition – but she managed to hold it in.

Instead, she took some time alone before they all returned to the house, staring across the rows of headstones, of mausoleums.

“Not today,” she grated under her breath, jaw clenched as she was struck with an overwhelming pang of loneliness.

“Mrs. Goto,” Kaga said, clearing his throat. “I was going to congratulate you on whatever you said to unsettle Captain Ishigami,” he continued, his voice low. “But there will be more appropriate times for that.”

Miho hadn’t had as much to do with Kaga as she had Goto’s direct superior, but she knew the man was callous, or clumsy, or a mixture of the two – enough to not be offended by his awkward, misplaced dig at Ishigami.

“Tell me, Captain,” Miho said, her voice thick, her watery eyes fixed on the distance. “Do you believe it? What you’ve seen on your surveillance tapes? What you’ve heard, read in reports? Would Seiji be so incompetent as to fall prey to a death and make his wife a widow?”

For a man rarely at a loss for words, Kaga’s lips parted but no sound emerged. Unusually, he seemed to be thinking carefully before speaking.

“Would Lieutenant Goto intentionally put himself at undue risk?” he rephrased, but Miho intercepted his dodge.

“Not what I asked,” she snapped, inching a little closer to him.

“I am sure of what I observed, and am satisfied with the rigor of our forensic investigators,” he answered slowly, and Miho jumped on his hesitation.

“Damnit, Hyogo, you know what I’m asking!” she barked, giving his chest a bit of a shove, and Kaga snatched her wrist.

This caught the attention of Liana, who was standing nearby with a phone pressed to her ear.

“These are questions for Captain Ishigami,” Kaga told her, lowering his head and his tone.

“He was as slippery as you, and it’s suspicious,” Miho hissed.

“You’re grieving,” he asserted, trying to sound accommodating, maybe even sympathetic. “You’re raw and hurting and wanting all this to be a horrible nightmare, but…”

“I DISBELIEVE!” she snarled, shaking herself free, and several others looked over, including Issei.

“Captain Kaga,” Liana began amiably, as she approached to defuse a true blow-up of the situation.

She had since ended her phone call, and gave the pair her entire focus.

“Please, allow me,” she smiled warmly, slipping her hand into Miho’s.

Not quite with his tail between his legs, but certainly without reluctance, Kaga nodded and shifted away from the two women.

“You just saved him a black eye,” Miho hissed, scuffing her toes in the gravel irritably.

“Just a black eye?” Liana smirked cheekily, and this got Miho to smile wickedly.

“Yeah okay, he might have lost a little more; I’m fed up with getting chided for not being morose enough,” she muttered, allowing Liana to turn her away from the gathering at the shrine.

“Well, I just got off the phone with reliable source,” Liana explained quietly, “who said a known terrorist group on Public Safety’s watchlist called Kurai, had recently been planning a serious attack, but now the group is in chaos - something about an internal power struggle.”

“When?” Miho prompted, giving Liana her full attention.

“That’s what caught my attention,” Liana nodded. “According to my source, an attack targeting shinkansen lines was supposed to happen two days after Goto’s supposed death.”

Miho’s brows drew slowly down, but she wasn’t drawing any major conclusions yet, but the wheels were definitely turning. Liana’s acceptance of Miho’s belief in Goto’s survival was warming, a relief.

“No terrorists though,” Miho noted.

Any disruption to the train network would be big news – a case of terrorism, if it had occurred, would have been all over the news

“So their plans were disturbed,” Miho added, thinking aloud.

“I wasn’t able to get much in terms of specifics,” Liana admitted, “but,” she continued quickly, “Kurai is having a bit of a management crisis, which might explain why their plans fell through.”

“Seiji,” Miho exhaled. “This is totally his doing.”

“Entirely possible,” Liana smiled, but quickly her expression fell. “And if that’s the case, his death, could all be a part of the investigation.”

About that idea, Liana did not look at all impressed.

“I’m going to need to speak to your husband again,” Miho growled, and while Liana would defend Ishigami when he was in the right, she had no issue taking him to task when he was wrong.

“We’re staying here overnight,” Liana revealed. “I’ll give you the hotel address.”

 “Spill it,” Miho charged, the moment Liana opened the door of her hotel room.

Stunned, Ishigami blinked at the instant onslaught, but Miho did not even allow him to draw breath.

“He’s not dead, and you’re going to tell me what the fuck is going on or…”

“Stop right there, Mrs. Goto,” Ishigami said, emerging from his stupor.

“I will not stop!” she snapped – in his face, teeth bared and savage. “Whatever this is? Terrorists? All of Japan, the world in peril? Because if it’s not, the bullshit you’re putting me, and Seiji’s family through it outrageous and I…”

“You need to calm down,” he tried to reason, but Liana could see the cracks forming in his demeanour.

“Would you? If I told you Liana was dead, tell me you wouldn’t be in my face demanding answers,” Miho pressed, finally stabbing a finger against his chest, and there Ishigami lost his cool.

“That is enough,” he snapped, and even Liana flinched.

Miho’s lips continued to move, but no sound emerged.

After a few tense seconds, Ishigami adjusted his glasses and exhaled a slow sigh.

“Kurai,” Miho prompted, more tempered in tone. “Seiji infiltrated them, didn’t he?”

Walking to the window, Ishigami sighed again.

“Yes,” Ishigami admitted, softly. “And… his death… is essential to not only the success of the operation, but to his survival because…”

Hanging off his every word, Miho leaned forward; Ishigami turned back to the room and pair of expectant gazes, his own serious.

“There is a mole in Public Safety.”

“Who?” Miho blurted.

“If I knew that, all this would not be necessary,” Ishigami grumbled, fiddling with his glasses again. “The only way to protect him and his contact within Kurai, is to convince everyone in Public Safety he is no longer in play.”

“So… who does know he’s alive?” Liana asked.

“Myself, Chief Namba, and now the two of you, against my better judgement,” he answered wearily. “Though I must say, I am immensely relieved to have brought your suffering to an end.”

“I’d still be livid if I didn’t know you genuinely did this to protect Seiji,” Miho nodded slowly. “But am still pissed off you didn’t think me capable of feigning grief.”

“This is a case of substantial import,” Ishigami insisted. “Telling anyone what you have learned could not only destroy our chances of bringing down Kurai, but lead to catastrophic infrastructure damage and death.”

“I got it,” Miho huffed, running her fingers through her hair in a frustrated manner, before reaffixing her gaze on him.

Softer.

Beseeching.

“Have you had contact with him?” she asked, voice so much smaller. “Is he injured?”

“Not… recently, no,” he admitted, motioning for her to sit.

She complied.

“But his last communication was directly to my private number informing me of his status – unharmed – a brief situational report, and his strong suspicion he and his contact had been compromised by a mole in Public Safety.”

It wasn’t until a cup of tea appeared before her, that Miho realised Liana had snuck away. With a small smile, Miho accepted the offering.

“So, what do you do now?” she frowned, before blowing softly against the rim of her mug.

“Well,” Ishigami began again, moving to also sit. “I will have to inform Chief Namba that you’re now aware of the situation. He will probably wish to speak to you himself.”

  Though he was the Chief of Public Safety, when Miho followed Ishigami into Namba’s office, the broad-shouldered looked decidedly uncomfortable.

“So, where do you want it, Jin?” she dropped, flat and cold and staring daggers.

“Excuse me?” Namba blinked, looking from Miho to his subordinate.

“I believe she means to hit you,” Ishigami translated, and Namba’s brows twitched.

“Hit is the polite translation,” Miho snorted, pointing at him sharply. “I get your need for secrecy, but all this is bullshit – I should have been told.”

“Ah,” he nodded, shifting a little before his fingers knitted together before him.

“No doubt Captain Ishigami has now explained the seriousness of the situation?”

At this, it was Ishigami’s turn to squirm a little.

“I think we both know, Mrs. Goto is not one to let something go once she has sunk her teeth into it,” he said, then wished he’d used different phrasing when Miho bared her teeth.

“You knew marrying a skilled undercover agent could result in time apart,” Namba explained. “And that strict rules of confidentiality would prevent you from knowing the details of his missions.”

This was true, but in Miho’s mind, what they had done to her and the rest of Goto’s family was way beyond that.

“You killed me,” she asserted, tone low and dangerous as she leaned forward across his desk. “You carved out my heart, and you set it beside the heart of his mother, and father and brother…”

“For Lieutenant Goto’s safety,” Namba insisted.

“And that’s the only reason I haven’t crawled over this desk and ripped out your throat,” she growled, at which point, Ishigami did the brave thing and put a restraining hand on her shoulder.

“That is quite enough,” he told her firmly. “We are all sorry for the pain you have experienced, but as I said earlier, the greater good was, is served by the continuing secrecy of Goto’s mission.”

Surprisingly, Miho didn’t throw his hand off. In fact, she straightened and let out a long breath to balance herself before resettling her gaze on Namba.

“So, I suppose you want to get him home,” he then said, a sparkle lighting up his eyes. “And since you no doubt know most of what’s going on - if I’m right about your interrogation abilities – I have an idea of just how you can help do that.”

“Sir?” Ishigami frowned, but Namba held his hand up.

“If it was to become known in Public Safety circles, that you had received a missive from Lieutenant Goto prior to his death, and that you felt it necessary to take action upon that information…”

“That could draw the mole out to ensure what I fictionally know doesn’t reveal their identity,” Miho finished thoughtfully, already nodded.

Ishigami, meanwhile, was not.

“I am very much against this,” he declared. “Involving Mrs. Goto in this investigation is…”

“A brilliant idea,” Miho interrupted.

“Irresponsible,” Ishigami corrected. “A traitor in our midst willing to put the safety of the public and his or her colleagues at risk, in the firing line of the Kurai, is not someone against whom a civilian should be pitted. I should also think Lieutenant Goto would not want his wife put in undue danger.”

“Lieutenant Goto knows better than to tell me what I can and cannot do,” Miho sniffed, then flashed a nasty grin toward Namba. “Flush that son of a bitch in my direction, Chief.”

“Chief Namba,” Ishigami said, as serious as he may have ever been. “I will go on record with my disagreement; Mrs. Goto should not be any further involved in this!”

For a few seconds following the rise of his voice, the two others looked at him a little surprised.

“You don’t want me in danger, I get it,” Miho told him finally, her expression softening a little. “But Seiji can’t come home until the mole is revealed, and this will work. I doubt Chief Namba has a mind to strip me naked, tie a bow around my neck and shout-out to all potential traitors to come have a poke.”

Both men immediately blushed.

Like, fires of hell heat in their cheeks you could see in pitch black.

“For crying out loud, you’re both grown men,” she huffed. “The point is, I’m not signing up to die, but to be very well guarded bait. Do you have people who are above reproach? Kurosawa, surely,” Miho answered, before they could. “He idolises Seiji. There’s no way he would do anything to put him in danger.”

“Soma and Kaga,” Namba put in, though at the last name, Ishigami’s nose wrinkled.

“I’m not so sure about the last,” he declared.

“Leave him out then… Subaru… call Subaru in. He would never let anything happen to me.”

“He may well have a few things to say in opposition,” Ishigami added.

“Then he can stow it too,” Miho huffed. “Chief Namba, will you set this up?”

With only a few seconds hesitation, Namba nodded his assent, and Miho exhaled.

“I’ll wait for your instructions,” she sighed. “Whatever it is you need me to do, I will, don’t question that for a second.”

“I don’t think anyone would dare,” he noted, and there concluded the meeting.

Dun dun duuuun... the final part!

[northernjulian]

"Lucidity Roses"

LUCIDITY ROSES ルシディ・ローゼズ

Dedicated to:

This poem, project, and visual representation of mental growth & beauty is dedicated to someone I miss dearly and think about everyday. My best friend Jaedin A. She helped me get through everything. From my first heartbreak, to my first day of suicide watch in the hospital. She was there. From crying over being abused in a relationship to crying over being locked in a hospital room. She was there. As I write this dedication with tears falling down my face like that day let it be known that I would not be here today. Mentally, and physically if it weren’t for this person. It’s nothing simple like I got an injury and she stopped the bleeding therefore she “saved my life” shit. It’s more like I couldn’t find my own injury but she stopped it from hurting by just being there with me. No matter the situation. Whether it was when I was 1,500+ miles away or just inches away she helped me push through everything that would’ve broken me. Thank you so much for existing in my era. Xox

This piece is heavily inspired by Jenny Holzers ‘Truisms’ poem. Her diverse yet obvious stanzas created beauty by the things we see and hear everyday. Basic knowledge formed together to create a intricate puzzle like piece that allows the mind to gain an insightful view. Thank you Jenny. Alongside being dedicated to my best friend Jaedin it is dedicated to those who did me wrong. Sorry to kill your vibes but no one can bring me down no matter how long they try. With all love and no hate <3 -Julian

WARNING

This is art. This is real. This is raw. I speak my mind and express everything I see and understand. This ain’t some politics-free Facebook post. Not wanting to argument with family members shit. I’ve been blocked by family members for the things I’ve said. My aunt blocked me after posting pro-black lives matter messages on my Facebook. Apparently not wanting to see my half blood brother on the news is too offensive. Wanting justice for innocent people was “too much”. Putting bad cops in the system they avoid was “too excessive”. If you can’t respect my existence or my families and friends then fuck you. This country has been hypocritical since the day it was founded, but overtime new laws and such have been put into the system yet they still treat us like the cameras ain’t recording, like the wounds ain’t showing, like the pain ain’t growing. So realize that this piece isn’t some school assembly script. This is raw and uncut like Trumps Twitter minus the fact that I’m not a damn idiot. Also while reading this piece you have to be in touch with the other side. By that I mean you have to be relaxed and at peace. Plug in headphones, white noise machine, open the window, do what you gotta do to be ready to see instead of just read. It’s like a deep song with curse words in it. You can’t listen for the words, you have to listen for the meaning. If Van Gogh painted Starry Night in an art class no one would fully appreciate it for the way it was meant to be. Art is three dimensional and up. It can be seen from many sides. Although all of them can be justified, when the artist explains what his two dimensional view of the piece is you gotta just sit back in amazement. The whole time I was writing this I had that mindset. This my canvas mindset. Knowing that each stroke on the white surface has to be better than the last. So here is my piece. My canvas. I hope you enjoy and understand.

Here is “Lucidity Roses”

— america is the biggest terrorist threat not isis all lives matter movement is a fictional movement anatomy is important for love astrology isn’t a science arian advantages are my disadvantages america escaped tyrannical governments only to become one abortion isn’t murder amendments have been broken atheists are people not afraid of death aberrant people are the future able bodied people are the most lazy abolish our current government abrasive people are common absolutism is always a bad idea abstemious people are annoying absorption of countries kills cultures acquaintance is a rude way of saying relationship adeptness is underrated altruism is key for humanity apathy controls our motivations astronomy is observable and beautiful amassing is dangerous anonymity people keep the truth alive aflame is the best way to describe America right now aptitude lovers are real aridity is rising

beautiful mornings happen everyday borders don’t stop shit branding runs capitalism blue lives matter is equal to all lives matters blue people don’t exist bernie should’ve won bravery comes in many forms bruce becoming caitlin was important for this generation baby boomers blame everything on anyone younger bombs are never precise boys don’t cry, men do tho bitches aren’t women bad bitch isn’t a compliment babies show us life in it’s pure form baptism doesn’t save every child of god baptism didn’t keep me holy bottles ease the pain boredom is a first world problem bacteria is everywhere germaphobes being called something besides your name is great blonde was album of the year black lives matter buying expensive things have repercussions baffling is trumps best and only skill burning the flag doesn’t help anything basketball is the best sport

crying in the rain feels good creativity is the key to a new world conspiracy theories aren’t reality cherry blossoms are natures physical form of love condolences are appreciated cancer can be stopped censorship stops art ceasefires never truly cease fire cultures are not to be mocked colors all have meaning codes control our superficial social media currently waiting for closure classical mythologies were once religions civilizations never disappear fully cobain was murdered ceasar once ruled the world callisto needs to be explored carbon dioxide emissions are real cherokee are the toughest natives christmas is definitely the most wonderful time chickenpox in america wasn’t an accident cold war was the scariest war columbus didn’t find shit captain avery was a genius camo clothes are never out of fashion crucifixion is over the top

dark nights only make brighter days death penalty is overpriced depression is real denying science and facts gave us trump don’t argue with science devil dances to inner city anthems death lurking in my thoughts lately da vinci was the closest thing to perfection drake runs our generation dogs are impossible to hate divinity is possible in our form diamonds are perfection doomsayers don’t enjoy their life dormant volcanoes are relatable dancing is art dinosaurs exist despite being held back we succeeded desperate people are the most sick different place this planet is nowadays dying is overrated dust shows authenticity dyed my hair for this rebirth defense is a form of offense dreams mean something doing thangs for myself deities exist in us

“every night fucks everyday up” emptiness is a curse everyone is beautiful in their own way exercise is a reliable stress reliever eagles are sacred earth deserves better easter island disappeared electromagnetism control our sense of direction extinct species show how precious life is endorphins are off in my mind epicenter disasters happen in our minds too egyptians had the smarts of unearthly creatures einstein got sad over things he didn’t understand too errors in our ways are to be fixed not ignored effective ways to love vary on the person elsewhere exist on our minds equality is bullshitted in our world eventually everything falls endings are emotionally exhausting efforts mean everything egos are killed by assholes education isn’t always important for a better world eternal life happens when you love life ethnic cleansing still happens today ethics are not negotiable eyes perceive more than the physical

fuck trump by the way fires burn inside flowers are unreal football is a life damaging sport “faults break into pieces” freezing points are breaking points futura is a great font fonts are key pieces for expression focusing isn’t something gained through pills fallacies run our political system futuristic ideas were once sci-fi ideas finding love is very important fire was once considered magic freedom isn’t real in america fresh fruits are being created as if they were artificial for the last time the earth isn’t flat fascism exist in our america fuel exist in many forms feminism is needed for this generation fake love is true evil false prophets are average humans fables are more than just cute fake news doesn’t exist only inaccurate news faithfulness isn’t difficult when you aren’t an asshole fanatics are just passionate, not crazy feedback is appreciated

guys can be pretty too generalization is the key to all problems global warming is real great barrier reef is almost gone gothic art is the realist art gambling is the currency form of lust geniuses exist in many fields generosity can go a long way geometry is the simplest form of math ghost exist giggles are always nice glaciers are separating glaring is rude girls glisten glitter beauty is magical goddesses are women goals should always be pursued go all out with anything you get some time for yourself gain respect towards those who hurt from things you can’t see great wall didn’t stop the mongols good people exist gasoline isn’t worth killing people over goodnight messages mean a lot good morning messages mean more gestures mean more than words

hells exist beyond our minds health care should always be free heavens exist in our minds hesitation kills motivation highly favorable people were once underrated homophobia isn’t real, being an asshole is homosexuality is just as natural as heterosexuality hogs represent rich people houses aren’t homes unless they’re made into one home is where the love is highlights of life are everything without a price high beams on a dark road how do some people live with themselves? hidden in plain sight things are extraordinary hello starts every conversation height is superficial hierarchy only worked for the pharaohs hire the unfavored heels shouldn’t be a beauty standard heavens gate is no different from christianity heavens gate is a religion hashtag save our girls happiness has me believing i made heaven harassment is cruel to humanity hardly anything is real anymore help is never too far away

i feel like pablo making my own art i’m just human isis doesn’t represent islam imperialism is the reason rome fell imperialism is the reason we shall fall immigrants made america i’m sad as shit when i’m alone i can also be happy as shit when i’m alone i see race i just don’t care about it internet is overrated and superficial inferior things are not always the problem invasion of foreign countries is never reasonable ice cream is good for the soul ignorance isn’t a bliss illogical facts are “alternative facts” illumination of the mind is inspiring imagination is the only drug we need islam has no relation to terrorism impossible is only a word infuriating people lead to a dumber generation infallible beliefs are close minded inhabiting foreign lands ruined cultures informing is not insulting innovation is suppressed in our world instincts are always right intelligence is uncommon

jim jones was the furthest thing from the messiah jesus was brown jean-michel basquait was our van gogh just kidding isn’t an excuse for your assholeness jealousy ruins more relationships than actual issues jewels aren’t worth the killing judges have sympathy journalists can be bias joy is a great feeling justice is failing in america judging others is natural jungles need protection jades are the perfect shade of green jewelry is a classism statement journey around the world if you can jump into new things don’t be scared jokes keep the sadness at bay jumble things are sometimes more beautiful than neat things jaunts are good for you jigsaws relate to our lives justifying racism is impossible judaism is the most neglected religion join the cause jackson was killed by a doctor jerichos’ horn is heard all around world just wondering if i’ll make it in life

keep thinking positive things and they will happen killing for peace is a hypocritical phenomenon kings never end happily ever after kind people are the most beautiful keep your family close knowing isn’t always understanding kkk is a terrorist organization kids bring the family together kanye is a smart man keep yourself your number one priority kissing is just as addictive as drugs kahlo is the best artist ever karma will get you kaitlin lives forever keep the bullshit away kaleidoscopes sparked my creativity kd betrayed his team keep it real keep the faith kepler telescope watches the heavens kepler-452b is our last resort kgb tactics are still in use kick back and get dreamin killing the innocent happens too often killing by accident happens too kidnapping is the worst crime against humanity

loving and sex are two different things legends never live life is a clusterfuck love doesn’t have a gender loneliness craves company lying is an insult to ones morality les brown motivates me lucidity roses is my canvas lucidity roses is life lust for life losing is better than not trying living shouldn’t be bordered by rules lying is an insult to yourself leaving incompetent people isn’t wrong or bad loving those who others don’t is perfect let go every once and awhile laws shouldn’t be bribed lawyers shouldn’t defend sick people lurking gets us hurt lies formed history last night stories are the best lately i’ve been feeling sad lyrics always have deeper meanings last doesn’t always mean something bad lines divide us like paper layoffs are necessary for a new world

majorities blame their problems on minorities mind over matter meditation is a mental workout mental injuries are worse than physical ones make america united again make your dreams a reality men don’t understand motherhood motherhood is a connection like no other “my eyes had a gleam once” my intentions are always good, my actions aren’t always tho meddling in others relationships is disrespectful mexico is a beautiful country manipulated by our politicians managing friendships is tiring morgues show us life after death minerals are running low mindsets vary on time sets marrying just to cheat is unacceptable and wrong mothers are responsible for our nurture vs nature thinking missing people who hurt you is ass-backwards “might've” has no meaning in the present masculinization insults the free spirits makaveli escaped to cuba magna carta is the way of the people mask show more than the person behind it medications should be free mcdonalds runs america

nothing happens for a reason nights with the person you love is better than anything nothing is as intimate as love never have i or will i say “president trump” narcissism got me through my depression nihilism is the truest religion ‘no more parties in la’ nobody pray for me! no means no never think about the past names always deserve a deeper meaning narrow minded people are ruining our country nikes is perfect natural beauty is the perfect form of art news stations are almost always biased nirvana is close by.. nagging gets you nowhere nowadays people aren’t living in the now newcomers deserve respect newcomers deserve recognition nazism is still active in america north is the main direction never love someone you wouldn’t wanna wake up with narcotics control the banks nasa deserves better never judge something you don’t understand

our system is corroded ousting exposes jealousy outfits describe our personalities overnight love is the best ocean needs protection oceans display vibes omitting happiness is brighter than any rays omega is more dominant than alpha order is tyrannical orgasms vary oracles saw illusions odd problems can become the most dangerous ones mental state is a number one priority oak is the most refreshing wood obligate yourself to everything you love oblivion exist only if you open the portal to it oblivious people are the loudest only illegal humans are those who manipulate the public our greatest internal struggle is wanting what we give old white people should have no say on racial issues obliterating countries doesn’t solve problems obnoxious people are common occasional personal days are necessary off days are the worst days offer yourself to the ones you love old times are gone, forget them

past civilizations were more advanced than current ones peoples temple was a suicide group political corruption runs our system police gotta stop killing us pro-black isn’t anti-white philosophies vary on mindsets philosophers were once seen as irrelevant picassos’ rose period is my life season political parties are for small minded people politics separated my family permafrost love is gonna be a visual perfect people only exist when you become in love with someone pesticides are just as bad for humans than bugs push through the tough shit pulling someone closer is a form of intimacy purple is a sexual color purest forms of intimacy are decided by lovers please love someone before you leave this planet peaceful protest are always manipulated by fox news party whenever you can for however long you can pretty isn’t a girl only word panama was split for financial reasons peaks are the top of our lives pastor keeps the followers with hope paparazzi got no respect please don’t stop living

quit slut shaming sexually active people quit calling every female a bitch quality over quantity all the time questions without answers are possible quiet people are a blessing quotes were unappreciated at their time qualm thoughts are stressful quantum mechanics are the future qualified people can still be stupid queens don’t need kings quickly doing things is sloppy quicksand is the physical metaphor of depression quilts are comfortable canvases quixotic love is the best love quizzing us on things we don’t know is irrational quotation marks aren’t needed for the words you say quran isn’t evil quran is equal to the beautiful quarantining sad people is cruel quarantined orcas need to be freed #fuckseaworld quite a few good things in life we don’t appreciate quitting is never the answer quit fucking with people who don’t care for you queer isn’t an insult question everything you don’t understand quasars represent underdogs

reverse racism isn’t real respect your elders those who respect you roses show more beauty than we can comprehend “respect existence or expect resistance” rest in peace selena respect for women shouldn’t be gained through knowing one remember the good days every chance you get real friends make time for you release week was dope reality is distorted raw art is the truth we need ranting proves you can think random compliments are the best compliments reading puts you in another world reducing stress is impossible in our world refusing facts isn’t always because ignorance remember that you matter runaway with the person you love runaway is also a perfect song, thanx kanye roses are red roses aren’t dead riding with your friends is peaceful reintroducing people is lovely radiation levels are unnatural radical ideas are barbaric rapist don’t deserve a casket

“special shoutout to the icon dynasty slip and slide records” science is the forerunner of every subject self control is a uncommon blessing support planned parenthood support stem cell research sexism is at an all time high sadness has me believing i belong in a sanitarium sexual fantasies are normal scientist don’t lie, politicians do stop being scared secrets are esoteric seducing has to be wanted school makes me feel stupid sadness dissipates when we begin to live smoking kills shea made me sad shan made me happy strong people exist satanist aren’t bad people say no to *bad* drugs seeing old friends is refreshing sad and mad emotions ruin lives safe sex is rare saints were once sinners sinners were once saints see what i’m saying?

tranquility is achieved through our minds the meaning of life is happiness thank you for the inspiration frank o. tupac is still alive for me the world is ours taste of lips is a drug the only thing we need is love tattoos tell stories that words can’t “to die without leaving a corpse..” thank the universe or your deity everyday “torture is barbaric” the day is as only as bright as you make it tired is a real excuse for not doing things trading your soul for something always ends bad trendsetters aren’t original treat everyone you meet with respect trying to educate the ignorant is pointless tattoos at a young age show defiance tattoos don’t look gross when you get older tips are small but meaningful today is the beginning of a new life. timid people are usually the brightest tacky clothes are fun tell people how special they are tell your deepest secrets to no one take it easy

uncles’ are usually pieces of shit..lookin at you lencho using someone for sex is inhumane ultimately what defines us is our actions, not words u is the saddest song ever umbrellas are cliché understanding someone helps them get better unfortunately we can’t stop time under pressure we can sprout unite the world together again unlikely doesn’t mean impossible unless you’re dead nothing can stop you unusual organisms see us as unusual too urges can be handled uplift everyones spirits unnamed sources are the realist sources untruth the lies using the system to beat it is smart unnecessary comments don’t have to be necessary upload your experiences update your friends as much as possible urgent care is a sad place universe is in us us is nice to say uttering words isn’t always the best idea urban legends are fun to read about until we stop fighting we’ll never start loving

violins are the most beautiful instrument vibrant things give me happiness videotapes are ancient versatile mindsets are necessary very important people are not strangers with money vikings found america vivid dreams are future scenes vaccines don’t cause autism voice your opinion no matter where you live volume never seems loud enough version one is draft like vintage art is overrated verbal abuse is the worst versions show both sides view life differently vote based off personality not political party valleys are scary versace is godlike voices are deceiving vaults are examples of paranoia vice versa situations are just normal situations very good people are always unheard of veterans shouldn’t be veterans venture into the wild visit family as much as you can versus the world

would trump let jesus in our country? women deserve better “wishing things away is not effective” quote jenny we face the inner struggle of the penitent and impenitent thief war on drugs is a waste of time and money wes lang is the descendant of basquait women can hurt men too whiners can’t be choosers winning is just as scary as losing wearing all black is beautiful wanting what you can’t have is cruel would you like you? wishing for the best holds back the best watching people be themselves is interesting why do they keep killing us? when’s tranquility gonna reach us welcome new people like family weddings are a form of art why questions will never be answered why are we here? why do we battle things we can’t see? why do good things happen to bad people? why do bad things happen to good people? why is there a why if it can’t be answered? willpower is yours winning is the only option

xenophobia is wrong not matter how trump puts it xenophile is a lover for high class things xerophytic people are the strong yet depressed humans xanax are for those sad people xeriscape was created for another dustbowl xerothermic weather isn’t normal xenobiotic compounds are even antihuman xerophile organisms are relatable xenogeny is the creation and start of life xat have spiritual energies xenocide is happening to our own species xenoepist think you’re a xenoepist xenomorphs exist xeronisus happens when you don’t love that person xickovit of this country xox means a lot to me x’ing out the bad people like tic-tac-toe xanthippe was the opposite of socrates xenial countries are declining xenocracy founded america xenophobia is runs our country right now xenophobic is like homophobic, so it’s not real xanax are bad for you xenophiles need to know their boundaries x marks the spot xoxo

you don’t have to be in love to make love yelling should only be for sports events years pass like the seasons year-round happiness is important yikes at our country yearbooks shouldn’t be the only time we appreciate each other yearning is a sin but an understandable one yearlong relationships are rare yellow is the most vibrant color y chromosome organisms have no right over double x organisms y chromosome doesn’t excuse being disrespectful yellowstone is gonna explode soon yes is all you need to hear for consent ying yang symbol is life in simple terms yogism is the purest philosophy you can’t expect the unexpected your only priority is you you’ll never know what someone else is going through you are loved you are noticed you are always on someones mind you deserve better you can succeed you can inspire you will be happy you are you

zenith empires eventually fell zero was created by the mayans zodiac signs are bullshit zygotes show us how related we are zeal mindsets are important for our generation zelo was nikes brother zeal mindsets can be dangerous zero first world problems are important zuckerberg made billions off our generation zirconia isn’t diamond zero hour is the best time of the day zeta is an unearthly letter zev (zero emission vehicles) were the future zigzagging down a dark road zika needs to be defeated. zionism fucked over jerusalem zodiac killer was found zoos’ need to be more natural zebra stripes are mesmerizing zealous juries can free the criminals zaddy turns no one on zoning people out is risky zombies is who our voting system was built for zoetropes still amaze me zero stars show in the daytime zero people can talk shit about me now —

Everything in this project has meaning. Everything. I would stay up til the early hours of the morning just thinking and trying to tell my story while correlating it with symbols and clues. Notice how there is every letter in the alphabet on here twenty six times? That was a tribute to Holzers style she had on “Truisms”. Notice how every letter is lowercased? Also a tribute to Holzer. The cover art, hand drawn by the way, the cover is a skull with three roses coming out of it. Those three roses represent the three loves of my life. From best to worst going left to right. The words above them show what they gave and introduced me to. Love, lust, and lorn. All of these things are apart of life. The three emotions we all are controlled by in life. The three things that can break us from ourselves. That’s why the skull is there. After all those things I had to endure I felt nothing but dead inside. On the outside it was visible too. From the days my mother would ask me what’s wrong to the days I would break down at school. It was visible. I seemed dead on the inside. They say nothing is as dry as the bone, but I found a way to push through. My rebirth allowed me to show the world I am still here. After my battles with love a rose grew, after my battles with lust a rose grew, and even after being beat down and almost held away from the light that helped me grow, a rose grew from lorn. I am still recovering from these three things. The roses vary in stages because of this. Lorn was the most impactful on me hence why the rose is the smallest of the three. It is taking time to heal from these things, but I am reborn. Three things that have claimed my last three years. From the day after middle school ended where I was in my room all day crying because I never took a chance at shit to the first day of suicide watch. These are my past lessons. This is my life. Thank you all for allowing me to fully expose this. I hope that this can inspire you to become the best you. I hope this can inspire you that no matter how crazy, lonely, and heartbroken you feel you’re never alone on this crazy ride we call life. Thank you very much. Xoxo -Julian

P.S – Three is my lucky number

[ecotone99]

[HR] They Were Always Behind Me

To my family and friends. All the one’s who trusted me. The actions took here in this cabin were my own. What happened to those people was not my doing. There is no way to possibly prove this, but I must try. I’m fighting back now. I just wish I had sooner. It’s so obvious that those . . . things won’t go away. Now that I have trapped myself in this cabin, I can express to everyone my side of the story. Once the police find this letter, I won’t be able to explain. I’ve hidden all reflective surfaces in the room so I can finish this letter. I can hear them in the walls now. The boards sound as if they are going to break. A tremendous force is trying so hard to reach me. To “convince” me to finish the task given to me. Well fuck them.

I’ve always felt like I was being watched. I thought everyone gets that feeling every now and then. They’ve probably been around me for years, but they didn’t want to be noticed until now. I first saw them a couple nights ago, in my mirror. I stood in the mirror getting ready to go out for the night and I could see a figure half in the doorway behind me in the hallway. I saw it move and I quickly turned around. There was nothing. My hallway was empty. I stood and waited; listening. Nothing grasped my attention and so I turned back to my reflection. When I looked into the mirror this time it stood in the center of the hallway.

I jerked my head back. Nothing. Suddenly, I heard a wet clicking noise. Like tongue to teeth repeatedly. It was so loud it felt like it was directly in my ear. Quickly, I turned my head back to the mirror only to see that a disfigured horror was inches from my face grinning it’s black teeth. My adrenaline spiked so quickly I nearly fell to the ground. I began kicking and crawling my way out of the room. No figure stood beside me in the room but as I ran, I seen it again and again in the reflection from the pictures hanging in the hallway.

After making my way into the living room I stood still. I now realized I hadn’t seen the same figure over and over, I had been seen multiple of them. I was frozen in the center as both sides of the living room had large windows. It was dark outside and the light from the well-lit living room reflected off the windows resulting in them to act as mirrors. Although I was in an empty room, the windows portrayed that nearly fifty of them crowded the living room and were facing directly at me.

The figures were pale, lanky, and deformed. Some of them looked as if they could hardly stand. One of them took stance dead in front of me. Staring directly at ME, not at the window so I could see it’s face. My eyes shifted to the front door as I began to move my weight in order to start a full-on sprint when I was suddenly and forcibly shoved. I hardly caught my footing when I was instantaneously struck from behind. This time something cut into my skin. I investigated the window’s reflection and saw I was seconds from being swarmed. I instinctively threw my arms over my head. I was violently thrown to the ground as I felt several blunt limbs and jagged claws striking my body. I screamed.

Ten excruciating seconds of this and suddenly, a seize. I felt cold and wet from my own blood. The onset of unconsciousness seemed inevitable. My back felt like ribbons of flesh had came off. I slowly rose to my knees and looked up. They were all now staring at the window so I could see their faces. Hollowed expressions stared back at me. There were just as many figures in the room but now a larger one stood in the middle. It had red covering it’s arms and feet. It was my blood.

It leered at me. I couldn’t see its eyes, but I knew it was looking at me, as were the rest. Before me was writing on the floor. Three messages. The last of the three had been scratched directly into the floor.

“Kill your neighbor.”

“If you dont we will take his life and your fingers.”

“DO AS I SAY”.

I rose my head back to the window’s reflection. The tall one’s head was slanted. Inspecting my reaction. It was waiting. Did I have to act now? What the fuck was even going on?! This is a nightmare, it must be. Any minute I will wake up, right? Twenty seconds went by as I hesitated. Some of the figures began to leave. I stood up. Instantly falling back to my knees now realizing how bad the wounds covering my body were. I shouted, “WHY? WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU?!”. At this moment even more figures began leaving. All in the same direction. The biggest one broke stance and slowly followed the others.

The room had emptied almost instantly. I made myself get up and stumble to the window in the direction they were headed. I could see my neighbor’s house across the yard. His house was well lit through the night and I could see through his kitchen, dining room, and living room windows. There was no movement. All was silent beside the few drips of blood leaving my back and hitting the floor below. Then I saw a curtain move.

My neighbor appeared in the kitchen, covered in blood. He was panicking; scanning the room intensely. He had no idea to look at the reflections. He suddenly grabbed his arm and bent over in pain, screaming. The clothes on his body began to tear and blood would appear seconds later. He fell to the floor as the walls and curtains were stained with blood. He was mauled to death in that very spot.

They did it. I walked back slowly from the window and slipped, crashing to the ground. I slipped on my own blood. The message they wrote. They were going to come back for me. Adrenaline overcame me again and I hopped to my feet. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” I began to make my way to the door checking reflections as I went. I swung the door open and ran outside. I began to go for my car. It dawned on me that outside, in the dark, was not a good place to look for reflections.

I fumbled around in my pockets for my car keys as I approached the car door and began to unlock it. I glanced at my neighbors house and saw only one light flickering as the bloodied curtain sway lightly back and forth. I opened the door, sat down, and started the car. I shifted into reverse and peered into my rear-view mirror. The biggest one filled the back seat, his face inches from mine. Behind the car were the other figures. Next, I heard the clicking noise.

I hit the gas but was instantly stopped. Sure, in hindsight I should have probably just gotten out of the car. Fuck you want me to say, I’ll remember that next time? The beings held my car into place and the biggest one grabbed the entirety of my head with one hand. It squeezed so tight I thought my eyes would pop. It continued clicking and I let go of the gas. I was to be obedient to it or I would be instantly killed. “I understand”, I thought to myself.

I could barely reach the shifter and put the car into park. Once I did the figure pinched my head just a bit tighter and I instinctively grabbed my head. Except I didn’t grab my head. I grabbed it’s hand which I could only see in the mirror. It’s other hand came around and grabbed MY hand. I tried to scream and it pulled back for just a second then lunged once more and in one yank, ripped two fingers off my hand and dislocated another.

I gripped what remained of my hand and screamed. Slowly, the being removed itself from the car and crept around outside, still holding my fingers. I lost it for a second and then seen it in the side mirror using my pinky to write a message on my car window behind me. The remaining figures began to disperse. I hunched over in my car and tried to control my breathing. I grabbed a shirt lying on the backseat of my car and wrapped my hand the best I could. I didn’t have anything to stop the bleeding. I sat in my car for probably 10 minutes. I was terrified but I was also done with this fucking game. I don’t even understand what was happening, how was I supposed to fight these things? I just waited for them to finish me off.

The windows began to fog over. I became overwhelmed with anxiety as I knew the message on the window was waiting. I began to open my door. The cuts covering my body were now tender. I could feel stinging with every movement. I slowly lifted myself out of the car. The blood from the message was running down the side and onto the pavement. My heart stopped.

“We know who you love.”

“one of them will die every night that you dont take a life”

“WE ARE WAITING”

It’s been over two days since I read the message on my car. That day, I cleaned the blood off my car and attended my wounds. I drove and pondered what to do. I wondered if I could take a life. How was I supposed to do something like that? “I mean, I know HOW but like, DAMN IT!”. I talked to myself for hours as I drove nowhere. I made it several hundred miles from what was once home. The texts and calls came in just 24 hours after that fucking monster took my fingers.

Those things didn’t start with someone I knew for a couple of years or something. It was my sister that called and said our mom was found murdered. Then several other messages of condolences and prayers followed. Today, just a few hours ago, the police left a voicemail on my phone informing me that my sister went missing and I was to appear at the police station for questioning. They must have connected the dots from neighbors death and my sudden disappearance to two members of my family dying. It’s a matter of time before they find me at this cabin I rented the next state over.

A third person will die tonight unless I kill someone. So, I will. They won’t get what they want. I’m so sorry Mom and Sarah. I love you both very much and you didn’t deserve what happened to you. I can only imagine HOW it happened. Dad, or anyone for that matter, I don’t expect you to believe what I have written. Just promise me that if you ever see them in the mirror, you’ll take your own life, so they can’t.

​

Written by C.T. Flaska

submitted by /u/IWnaBNkd [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2MmtgPA

[celebritylive]

The YouTube community is mourning the loss of one of their most popular content creators, Grant Thompson, after he died this week in a paragliding accident. He was 38.

Thompson, who is best known for creating and starring in videos on his YouTube account King of Random, passed away on Monday evening, his family confirmed on his social media pages.

“It is with great sadness to inform everyone that Grant Thompson passed away last night,” they wrote alongside a YouTube video tribute of the beloved internet star. “Grant had great love and appreciation for his fans.”

“We invite you to share your thoughts for Grant and the channel in the comments,” his family continued. “Please do a random act of love or kindness today in honor of The King of Random.”

“Grant’s legacy will live on in the channel and the global community he created,” they added.

Though the family did not provide any further details around Thompson’s death, TMZ reports that the YouTube star died in a paragliding accident.

On Monday, the Washington County Sheriff’s Office in Utah told the outlet that a call came in regarding an overdue paraglider who reportedly went off the radar near Sand Hollow State Park.

The caller told officials that the paraglider should have landed an hour earlier and that he was unable to be reached on his cell phone, which prompted a massive search by local officials, according to TMZ.

After using GPS data to determine Thompson’s approximate location, a helicopter reportedly located his body later that evening, along with his paragliding equipment and a video recording device.

Authorities are now reviewing footage from the device and investigating the incident to determine what caused the tragedy.

Thompson’s brother Mark also confirmed the incident to TMZ, noting that the YouTube star recently picked up interest in paragliding and other airborne activities, but said that the family was still learning what happened from investigators.

Officials with the Washington County Sheriff’s Office did not immediately respond to PEOPLE’s request for comment.

RELATED: YouTube Star Emily Hartridge Dies at 35 in Electric Scooter Collision

Thompson first joined the YouTube community in January 2010 as “The King of Random” and quickly accumulated subscribers with original videos about “life hacks, experiments and random weekend projects.”

His content, which came out almost every day and covered everything from DIY projects to action-filled myth-busters, helped him become one of the most-watched stars on the social platform with over 11 million subscribers and over 2.4 billion views.

Though he was featured in almost every video since beginning his channel, Thompson recently appeared to put his focus elsewhere as two new hosts, Calli and Nate, have taken over starring in the 10 to 15 minute clips for the past several months.

RELATED: YouTuber Desmond Amofah, Known as Etika, Found Dead at 29 Days After Sharing Suicidal Video

In the wake of the devastating news, YouTube issued a statement about the loss of their former user and expressed their condolences to Thompson’s family, content team and fans.

“We’re deeply saddened to learn of the tragic loss of Grant Thompson, a gifted, passionate and endlessly curious creator. We send our deepest condolences to his loving family, The King of Random team and fans,” they tweeted alongside the tribute video.

Many of Thompson’s followers also shared their sadness over the tragedy and remembered the star for the impact he left on the lives of millions.

“He will always be one of my favorite og YouTubers that I first watched, you will be missed

,” wrote one fan.

We're deeply saddened to learn of the tragic loss of Grant Thompson, a gifted, passionate and endlessly curious creator. We send our deepest condolences to his loving family, The King of Random team and fans. https://t.co/pUY4q1EWcU pic.twitter.com/oL3VVSXacf

— YouTube (@YouTube) July 30, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

“This man got me through some many nights of not being able to sleep or just be able to do anything,” added someone else. “Thanks for giving me so many memories to live by. Hope you’re in a better place.”

Another added, “Absolutely heartbreaking man. I’ve enjoyed Grant’s content since I was a kid. Rest In Peace.”

“He made me laugh so so much. I love and appreciate him and his work and his legacy will go on forever,” wrote someone else.

“My condolences to his family. He will be missed. I loved Grant’s videos,” commented another user. “His passion and creativity were amazing and inspiring.”

RELATED VIDEO: Caleb Logan of the Bratayleys YouTube Family Dies at the Age of 13

“This man was like a superhero to me… he could do everything, build everything and he taught me so many things in so many different ways,” recalled one person. “Rest in peace”

“Sending all my love to his friends, family, and community. What a joy he brought to so many,” added someone else.

“He’s been such an inspiration in my life and it’s hard to believe he’s actually gone,” wrote another. “RIP my friend, you meant so much to us all

.”

from PEOPLE.com https://ift.tt/2ys3P8V

[hellv1ra]

The Cruelty Of Fate: Chapter One

Word Count: 2955

Pairings: Eventual Bucky x OFC

Warnings: None.

Summary: Picks up right after the battle of Azzano right before Steve’s rescue of the 107th.

A/N: This is kind of an introductory chapter for my OFC and other original characters, and part of the dialogue is taken from Captain America: The First Avenger.

Prologue 

Nov 3rd 1943

   “Colonel Phillips?” She Saluted him.

“Yes” he says glancing up from his task

“I have another stack of letters for you to sign” She could see the sadness in his eyes as he grabbed the file from my hands.

“Lieutenant Jones?” he says turning back to his task at hand.

“Yes Sir” she chewed at the inside of her mouth

“Why is it that you’re delivering these to me and not my secretary?” he didn’t even glance up from his desk, still signing paper after paper.

“Boredom I guess? I’ve got some down time until my next assignment. I know that what you’re doing right now isn’t an easy task. She had a stack that was finished and I was already on my way out here, figured I could cut a little time for the two of you to make this go process go quicker.” She knew that this was one of the shittiest parts of war, informing the families of fallen soldiers that their brothers, sons and husbands weren’t coming home.

“Thank you” He sighed “Have they to-” he was interrupted by a man approaching the tent

“Colonel Phillips” They both glanced over at the large man and Agent Carter standing in front of his desk.

“Well, if it isn’t the Star-spangled Man with a plan, and what is your plan today?” he deadpanned. ‘Ah’ she thought looking at his outfit, this must be Captain America. she’d seen his posters around base. She stepped back from the colonel’s desk giving him and Agent Carter more room.

“I need the casualty list from Azzano sir” The colonel raised an eyebrow in his direction

“You don’t give me orders, son” The insistent look on the large man’s face was saddening.

“I just need one name. Sergeant Barnes from the 107th”

The colonel glanced over at Peggy and pointed his pen at her

“You and I are gonna have a conversation later that you won’t enjoy” Lieutenant Jones shot a sympathetic grimace her friends way.

“Please tell me if he’s alive sir. B-A-R” The increased octave in his voice did little to hide his desperation

“I can spell” The colonel stood and filed the papers away “I have signed more of the condolence letters today than I care to count, but the name does sound familiar. I’m sorry.” For the briefest moment, the look of exhaustion from the day creeps into the colonel’s features. The sadness and grief in the captain’s eyes is heartbreaking.

“What about the others? Are you planning a rescue mission?” The colonel’s stony gaze returns, his features hardening.

“Yeah! It’s called winning the war”

“But if you know where they are, why not at least-” The colonel interrupted the man exasperation evident in his voice

“They’re thirty miles behind enemy lines. Through the most heavily fortified territory in Europe. We’d lose more men than we’d save. But, I don’t expect you to understand that, because you’re a chorus girl” The captain’s eyes hardened

“I think I understand just fine”

“Well understand it somewhere else. If I read the posters correctly you have somewhere to be in 30 minutes” as Colonel Phillips turns his back to the captain, he stared at the map on the wall before turning and leaving the tent.

Colonel Phillips was looking over documents on a table and without breaking conversation he pointed to Agent Carter

“If you have something to say, now id the perfect time to keep it to yourself”

Peggy scurried off after the Captain.

“Sir, I don’t you think you were being a bit harsh? He clearly lost someone close to him” She said approaching him.

“Ma’am, it’s not our job to coddle people, this is war”

“Chester, showing compassion isn’t coddling, it’s called human decency” She put her hands on her hips expressing immense displeasure at the situation.

“Lieutenant, don’t you have a mission to attend to!” he asked her agitatedly at her.

Spying one of her men out of the corner of my eye with a large manila envelope in his hands.

“As a matter of fact, I do. Have a good day sir” he waved her off as she left the tent to meet up with one of my officers.

  “Miller” She nodded at him.

“Ma’am, we got the orders” he handed me the folder.

They walked to the tent of their unit, as they entered the tent she saw her men sitting around and laughing amongst themselves. Sitting in a chair behind the desk that encompassed most of the space she began examining the documents provided to her. Everything seemed standard pictures of their target information on his rank within the Third Reich, coordinates and aerial photos of where they were heading.

I grabbed my bag that contained my gear and uniform, I slung it over my shoulder and headed towards the flap in the wall of the tent that lead to my quarters. I stopped short of entering my room.

“Let’s lock and load ladies, we leave in the hour” Lieutenant jones smiled as she went through the “door” leading to her adjoining tent where she slept, the cheers and jeers of the men fading as she closed the flap.

Changing out of her standard skirted uniform into field clothes. She was dressed no differently than the men of her unit. In the field, they dressed as equals no gender identifying clothing. Sitting on her cot she laced up her boots. Grabbing the tactical belt she’d modified to hold her rifle, ammunition and various knives. She walked over to the mirror above the wash basin in her tent. Taking a wash cloth she removed all traces of makeup from her face. Looking at the dark hair framing her face, Shame I gotta ruin a good hair day she thought tying her hair in a not at the base of her neck.

She grabbed her weapons and strapped them around her body. She nearly forgot the thigh holster she’d recently made to giver greater ease and access to her hand guns, the last item being my bolo knife, it was impractically large but she’d grown attached to it and it had saved her ass on more than one occasion.

 Shoving open the flap of the tent she entered to the murmuring room of her unit dressed and ready for action.

“Alright boys, let’s go kill some Nazis” She smiled, and slapped miller on his shoulder as they all cheered and headed for the jeeps that would be taking them to their next mission.

 November 6th, 1943

 The sun had only just begun rising when they were finally making their way closer to base in the early morning hours. they had received intel that a high-ranking Nazi scientist was hiding out in Croatia. The mission was a success. The target in question a Doctor Johan Wagner was cuffed and gagged in the backseat of the jeep following me, they didn’t want him trying to off himself with some cyanide pill like some of other Nazi cowards they had tried to capture in the past.

The five of them make up a small, lethal team, that officially didn’t exist. Unofficially however, they worked for the Strategic Science Reserve, after being lent to the organization by the US Army. The only people on the ground who know who they are and what they do in an official capacity are Colonel Phillips, Agent Carter and Howard Stark. What the team does is very secret and very off the books. There will be no written history of what they did. Their names will never grace the insides of history books for the work they’ve done. Especially not mine. She mused thoughtfully driving the jeep down the winding path back to base. Hell, even the name that I go by doesn’t even belong to me. It was the name they chose for her so that she wouldn’t arouse suspicion.

  Their objective as a team was a simple but dangerous one, capture their targets, take any data or intel they may have and bring them in for questioning. What happens to them afterwards wasn’t their concern. The current piece of garbage we obtained had been working on weaponizing a new and deadly strain of anthrax. One that is set to be resistant to any of current treatments. Samples of the work were obtained before torching the underground bunker, effectively (they hoped anyway) destroying the work the doctor had made.

 The team made it out mostly unscathed, Second Lieutenant David Miller will have a new scar running over the top of his left eyebrow, thanks to the butt of a Nazi guard’s rifle. Warrant Officer’s John Davis and Tom Andrews have a few bumps and bruises nothing so far too bad has happened that will make their wives hate me. Chief Warrant Officer Richard Taylor however got it the worst, shot twice in the arm because he decided to be a hot shot.

Hitting a bump in the road, Taylor moaned and whined from the back.

“we’re almost there Ricky, you big baby” She called out from the driver’s seat. “You’ve got no one to blame but yourself for your injuries.” He had decided to run into an unsecured room guns blazing and is now paying the price for it. Lieutenant Jones shuddered at the memory. It could have gone much, much worse. He could be dead.

He wasn’t the only on hurting from this mission she had personally taken a bayonet to the side while they had made their way through the facility. The bastard who stabbed her had gotten an up close and personal view with a .45 caliber bullet between the eyes.

“what ever happened to women being maternal and nurturing?” he whined

“Do I look like your mother?” she asked him incredulously.

“You don’t look like anybody’s mother, you Sheba” She could feel the flirtatious waggle of his eyebrows burning in the back of her head.

“Easy there dream boat, save it for the share crops you seem to be so fond of.” She turned her head to glare at him.

“Don’t be such a fuddy-duddy” He teased her “it’s not my fault they can’t keep their paws off me, I have a reputation to uphold”

“A reputation as a skirt chasing Casanova pig” I sneered at him “Keep it up with that bullshit and I’ll make sure that they keep you in the infirmary until you’re fully healed, so you won’t be able to show off to all of the pretty girls when we get base leave”

“You wouldn’t” he sat up wincing at the pain from his arm.

“Oh, you know I would, and I’ll make sure that it’s the ugly nurse too, with the big forehead, and that she’ll be the who gives you long luxurious sponge baths” I laughed.

“You’re a monster” he grumbled at her as he lay back down.

“Damn right I am” she chuckled, they remained silent for the last 20 minutes of the drive back to base. Only stopping as they approached the makeshift gates of the base.

“Good morning Private Smith” she said to the young bright-eyed man who waved them in.

“Good morning Lieutenant Jones” he saluted as I drove through.

They were met by immediately met by Military Police and the medical staff as soon as they were parked. A flurry of busy bodies tending to the prisoner and the wounded Taylor dramatically flung his arm over his eye trying to earn sympathy from the pretty nurses who met us.

“Don’t be gentle with him ladies, he’s just playing it up” Davis laughed as he pulled our prisoner from the jeep and shoved the him into the waiting arms of the MP’s.

As she started making my way towards the tents to change my clothes before meeting to debrief Colonel Phillips on the mission, watching the hustle and bustle of the camp. She stopped dead in her tracks, from the looks of things there were hundreds more men in the camp.

 “What? Where did they all come from?” She said to no one.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Miller said coming up from behind her.

She looked at him like he was crazy “Where do you think? I’m gonna go clean up and head to the Colonel for debriefing”

“Like hell you are” he grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the medical tents “Not before you hit medical to have that wound tended to”

She sighed pulling away “You know I don’t need it.”

He stopped her from leaving again looked her in the eyes “I know you think that you’re invisible and indestructible but making sure that they didn’t pierce any organs with that stab wound won’t kill you. We can’t afford to lose you.”

“Fine.” She agreed glaring at him.

He just smiled and bowed with outstretched arms leading the way to medical. She glowered at him and begrudgingly marched over to the awaiting medical staff. An hour later she was stitched up and cleared of any major damage being done to her body. She and miller were told they were off duty for the next two weeks and Taylor wouldn’t be cleared for at least a month.

She left the medical tent and headed off towards the tent Colonel Phillips was current seated. “Colonel Phillips” She saluted him

“At ease Lieutenant, you here to debrief me on the mission?”

“Yes, sir.” He nodded,

She continued “Mission was a success, the target, his files and his experiments were obtained, we had no casualties on our end and a few of us only have minor injuries.”

“You call that stab wound on your side ‘minor’?” He said eying the bloodied hole in the side of her shirt.

“I’m standing here in in front of you, aren’t I?” he chuckled at my statement, motioning for her to sit. He seemed more relaxed than usual.

“And the bunker?” She gingerly sat down in the seat across from him.

“Annihilated sir” She looked around at all of them men now walking outside. “Chester where did all these men come from?”

“They’re the rescued troops from the 107th.” He stated frankly

“What? But how? I thought you said that there was no rescue mission? If you I recall correctly your exact words were ‘Yeah! It’s called winning the war’ when did that change?” He gave me a pointed look

“You gonna stop asking questions long enough for me to answer?” She looked down at her hands and he continued “I didn’t order the rescue mission, Captain Rogers did it on his own”

“Captain who? I’ve been here for months I’ve never heard of him.” She knows she would have remembered a captain in their ranks.

“Captain Rogers, you might remember him better as Captain America?”

“The chorus line guy?” She asked him incredulously “How?”

“Stark and Agent Carter took it upon themselves to drop him over into enemy lines.”

“But how was he able to manage this?” She asked pointing at the now full and bustling camp. “He did it by himself?”

“Do you remember Dr. Erskine?”

“Of course, I do.”

“Project rebirth ring a bell?” Her eyebrows raised curiously and nodded he reached behind him and pulled out a file and handed it to me. The tab said ‘Rogers, Steven Grant’. As she looked over the file seeing all his 4F rejections from the military. The medical history of this man was terrifying, it truly was a wonder how he even made it through adolescence, let alone to adulthood. She read over Dr. Erskine’s notes on him, the words brave, courageous and selfless were used with frequency. She spied the picture of a very small and thin man, in disbelief she held up the photo.

“This is that guy?” she asked pointing at the USO poster featuring Captain America.

“Yes.” She looked at him in disbelief.

“THAT-” she pointed at the poster again “is THIS guy?” she asked shaking the photo in here hand back and forth.

He gave her a look that would have had a weaker man cowering.

“Holy mackerel!” he rolled his eyes at her exclamation. She can only imagine how proud Dr. Erskine was of this achievement. “I can’t believe it really worked” she whispered under my breath. “why hasn’t he been active duty if the serum was a success?”

“The whole idea of Project Rebirth was to create an army of super soldiers, not just one.” She looked at him like he was crazy

“All this time Chester, what the hell were you guys thinking? Were you even thinking? Do you know how much of a load someone like him could have taken off my shoulders? We could have used him, hell I-”

“It wasn’t just my decision, they told me to scrap it, so I did, and it’s all moot point since he’s active duty now” he interrupted

“Excuse me Sir” A soldier came into the tent, saluted and then handed the Colonel a telegram.

“Thank you” he said dismissing the private “Are your men cleared for travel?”

“Yes, but only Davis and Andrews are clear for any kind of combat. Jones and I are two weeks out minimum and Taylor is at least a month out.”

 “We’re not heading out for any kind of combat just yet, you will however need to pack your things. We’re headed for London.”

“London? I’ll let them know. Anything else sir?” She asked standing up.

“No, just be ready to leave in two days.”

“Yes, sir.” She saluted the Colonel as she left his tent and headed for her own feeling a renewed sense of excitement over finally being able to have some leave from this god forsaken war.