#we trust them! but so many ppl don't give enough of a fuck to learn first. and come in and expect to be treated like an expert

[trans-axolotl]

What is harm reduction outreach? I saw you mention it in a post.

Sure!

So I do outreach through an org in my city that provides harm reduction services to people who use drugs and sex workers. We have specific areas of the city that we go to on specific days, and also do deliveries. We also do at least one overnight shift a week to be able to better provide services to sex workers. For outreach, we hand out safer use supplies including needles, sharps bins, tourniquets, cookers, sterile water, stems, Narcan, fentanyl test strips, condoms, lube, bad date sheets, wound care supplies, food, water, etc. We also try to help provide people referrals to services like HIV and Hep C care, share what resources in the city are trans friendly and how to navigate social services with the least bullshit, and also provide peer support and harm reduction education to help people have all the information they need to make choices, and help reduce risk.

It's really important to us that we are not acting like exploitative nonprofits that come in, hoard resources, and expect people to be grateful. outreach is pretty much done entirely by people who are also drug users and sex workers. We are also really involved in local advocacy--we participate in a decriminalization campaign, a drug users union, and a sex work advocacy coalition. and i think nonprofits and government attempts to coopt harm reduction are so fucked up and actively harmful--you can't do harm reduction without also fighting to abolish the oppressive systems that are targeting drug users and sex workers. we have a lot of ties to the community that we're doing harm reduction in--for most of us it just is our community + neighborhoods lmao, and we make sure that we're always getting feedback, respecting autonomy and consent, and building mutual relationships. we've been around for a while and do have a lot of community trust, but we always want to be making sure we're respecting what people want and need instead of coming in with ideas about what services + supplies they want.

anyway. harm reduction is so fucking important to me and it's not just like, something i do to like, build my resume or to try to "save people." i'm a former sex worker and when i first started doing sex work, i didn't have any information, community, or access to anything that would have helped me to be able to work safer. it fucked me up pretty bad and i survived a lot of violence. i wish so fucking badly i had all those things, and it's super important to me to try to build community, care for each other, resist fucked up systems and protect each other.

[fairycosmos]

When i look in the mirror i don't see a pretty girl, i just see a young girl, and that's what people like and love, that i'm young. I can't help but think that when i, inevitably, get old, people aren't going to like me anymore, and what's more worrisome, i wont love me anymore bc i just come to believe that if im not beautiful(and that means young) im not worthy of people liking me or even loving me. And it's horrible, and i know its false, but i know that its true to some extent too.

:(( i think a lot of people can relate to that, especially other women. our worth is so often defined (in the eyes of others) by our youth and how conventionally beautiful we are perceived as. it’s a very empty way to view a person - to reduce them to such a natural and inconsequential part of their existence. overcoming the confidence issues and the complexes this sort of treatment gives us is often a life long task. it’s alright if it takes a lot of time and effort for you to grow into a level of self certainty that doesn’t depend on the opinions of those around you because you’ve been taught for so long that everything does. i think it’s important to begin with examining why you only feel you can love yourself if others like you - especially if they’re judging you in such a narrow way. you can see logically that their standards are baseless and nonsensical. and if they only value you for your looks, they’re not deserving of everything that you are anyway. there are so many people in this world who will like you for your heart, it’s not asking for too much or impossible to find. even if it seems like it is right now. i know it’s a LOT easier said than done, but i really believe that breaking out of this mind set and healing can happen even AS you’re processing hurt/anger/confusion + whatever else you need to feel. it’s alright to be upset. i dont blame you for the simple fact that it hurts. but just because you’re frustrated that ppl are so (for lack of a better phrase) brain washed by sexist ideals, doesn’t mean you can’t start questioning them and drawing strength from within rather from outside sources. there are a lot of women who talk about getting older as if it’s a very freeing thing. whether or not society is ‘happy’ about it, we grow and we defy everything that they expect us to be and at that point living is a radical act. but we go on anyway, we’re loved anyway, we enjoy the world anyway. because at that point we have learned enough about ourselves and about other people to know that there’s no wrong way to exist. because at that point, it just doesn’t fucking matter. you’re not going to feel the same way about your future as you do right now, once you’re actually living it, you know? the romanticisiation of youth is one of the worlds biggest lies. they just want us to keep chasing something we can never have. plus it’s a symptom of p*dophile culture, but thats a whole other conversation. in reality, we spend more time being middle aged than we ever spend being young - and even then we’re still learning new things, we’re still beautiful beings (beautiful by many definitions) - the world doesn’t end at 30. ultimately, growing up means finding more confidence in our words, actions and experiences rather than in superficial factors that are beyond our control. we’re able to do that because we can refer back to times when our character mattered more than our appearance. maybe right now, you’re just too young to see that like i am. perspective and hindsight will give you so much. and again, the world imposes this self hatred on us from birth, so of course it’s going to impact you. it may be a presence for a long time in the back of your head. but you don’t have to buy into it and you don’t have to view yourself through such a critical lens. if you catch yourself doing so, question where it’s coming from and whether or not it has any actual truth to it. can you trust the narrative enough to live your life by it? try to think about the people in your life, and what you treasure about them. i’m sure it goes way beyond how nice they are to look at or how old they are. anyone with common sense will treat you the same way. ‘worth’ really isn’t something that has to be earned, or something that you can lose with time. you were born with it, and you’ll die with it. but you don’t have to beg anyone else to understand that. if they don’t, it’s because their perception is fundamentally flawed and extremely shallow, so they’re the ones losing at the end of the day. it’s THEIR issue. and it’s not fair that you have to deal with it, not at all. but i really do believe in our own self growth showing us the solutions to our current worries. ppl are fucking mean and disgusting a lot of the time, but if they prove that they’re only around you cause you’re young or pretty, then that’s where you get to draw the line and distance yourself from that toxicity. which is a skill that takes some practice, setting your own boundaries, but very possible nonetheless. anyway so sorry this got long, i really hope you’re able to see that you’re so much more than your practicalities, and that as the years go by, you’ll realize it more and more. ALSO i got your other message and i’m 🥺🥺 literally blushing so much, you’re absolutely the sweetest. i’m honoured to be a comforting presence. i know how hard things are right now, but you’re really not alone. thank you so much for taking my words on board and for caring about my thoughts. take care of yourself and let me know if you ever need a friend ! ily 💖

[thefudge]

What do you think are the main differences between book!Arya and show!Arya? What do you think about them? (i don't know if you have written anything on this topic, if you already did i'm sorry)

i haven’t! but im sure some of my arya thoughts are on here, just not all of them put together

whenever i see show apologists talk about arya, they usually go: “oooh, you think she’s a psycho here?? she does worse things in the books”

and a) arya stark is not supposed to come off as a psycho (does she suffer from deep mental strain due to trauma? yeah, that’s different)

b) saying she does worse things is MISSING THE POINT

it’s not the violence that matters (well, it does, but not as much), it’s arya’s  REACTION and ABSORPTION of it 

everyone in asoiaf has to compromise at one point. there are no innocents. but it’s how people cope with these situations that make them, you know, people

arya-bot3000 from the show is not really a human being 

main differences:

1. book!arya is afraid all the time and this is an important aspect of her story  (like her father said, that’s the only time you can really be brave.) she is hardly ever sure of the outcome of her actions. just one example: her escape from harrenhal in the book is a terrifying ordeal which she goes through because there doesn’t seem to be another way out. show!arya strolls confidently out into the open while gendry cowers in fear. show!arya seems brash and self-sufficient even when she’s down. show!arya has “defeated” fear somehow. she strolls into danger like a weathered soldier….which….means she’s got nothing left to learn, i guess (to be clear, this has gotten worse with each season. s2!arya might as well be courage, the cowardly dog in comparison to s7!arya)

2. this brings me to emotions. book!arya feels them in SPADES. if you go have a look over her chapters and you consider the adjectives used and the stylistic choices, her POV is one of the most emotionally charged there is.  another thing is, arya sucks at hiding her emotions. which seems to be a problem for her spy training. as a faceless man, she shouldn’t go to pieces when she stumbles across her past. for instance, she kills Dareon just cuz she realizes he’s a night’s watch deserter. dude. come on. that’s a huge no-no if you’re trying to become this impartial embodiment of the god of death. and the house of black and white know she sucks at her emotions and i think they also know she won’t ever truly be faceless. i think they’re just happy to have a Stark with warging abilities under their control. this long diatribe is just to say that the show writers haven’t understood shit about her training. because in the show, they….sort of have their cake and eat it too. they make arya an excellent assassin/faceless man, but also…have her choose not to be one…because???  literally, her last scene with jaqen hagar is him saying “you truly are no one now” and her going like “psyche! u thought! i’m going back home!” in the span of five minutes. ….there is no point to this. and THEN when we see her in winterfell in s7, she’s got the masks with her. SO, she has embraced the training while also rejecting it??? do d&d care??? (and see, they MIGHT have made this work if they had made her abandon the masks altogether. some s6 episodes seemed to be hinting that arya disagrees with the house of black and white cuz this is what got her friend, the actress, killed. and yet, that one-time friendship doesn’t seem to matter in s7. arya embraces her (incomplete and nonexistent) training. because???

3. book!arya doesn’t hate femininity and all things girly. she envies them. there’s a difference. book!arya actually wishes she could be beautiful and feminine AND boyish and adventurous at the same time. it’s the fact that she wants these things which seem contradictory in westeros society that makes her lash out against women who fit the bill. show!arya proudly says “most girls are stupid”. myep.

4. book!arya gets attached to people BIG TIME. show!arya used to have that kind of empathy towards others. not anymore. book!arya still sadly recalls yoren who was supposed to take her to the wall in acok. she STILL to this day thinks about that orphan girl, weasel, whom she met in acok and whose name she used to hide her own identity. she immediately takes to certain braavosi courtesans and has favorite mummers and friends by the docks. meanwhile, show!arya is reunited with hot-pie and acts like he’s a gum on her shoe. LISTEN, i do think that arya stark is not gonna be super well-adjusted when the War for the Dawn ends. if she survives, i know she’s not gonna be a social butterfly. but her desire for connection with others WILL still be there. her compassion for others WILL survive. the creators of the show decided that the only way they can show a “grown up” arya who is wise and strong is by having them retcon her entire emotional journey. many ppl have wondered, for instance, why they didn’t give us an arya/gendry reunion. u know why. because they’d have to actually write arya as a human being with emotions. those stilted smiles she gave sansa wouldn’t cut it anymore. cuz gendry saw sides of her she’s not ready to remember. and d&d have decided she is a cool badass now. i would NOT be surprised at all if they never give us a gendrya reunion. i rly wouldn’t. 

5. book!arya definitely holds grudges and is convinced that only the lannisters are to blame for her troubles. she thinks eradicating them and their cronies will be enough. that’s a flawed, but reasonable perspective. what book!arya doesnt do is blame her sister for all of this.  even if book!arya found out about sansa’s letter to robb, she’d, at most, think sansa was naive to trust cersei but….that’s fucking it. in fact, this whole thing would make cersei the top name of her list. meanwhile, show!arya is a step away from putting sansa’s name on the list. book!arya hopes sansa is still alive. show!arya hopes for her death. and no, their flimsy reconciliation at he end does nothing to rewrite this terrible arc. 

6. the show, i guess, didn’t have the budget to stay in braavos longer (altho it wasted some of that budget on flashy, ineffective fight scenes between her and the waif). this cuts arya’s arc veeery short and reduces her whole character. because arya’s quest for identity is seemingly resolved. when that is NOT the case in the books. the fact that she’s got so many names and constantly shifts from one to the next, the fact that Cat of the Canals is exercising a deeper power on her than her other aliases is not explored at all in the show. because d&d think that arya’s time in braavos is about becoming some kind of seasoned Stark warrior. HAHA. so these guys are not even writing the same character. forget differences, their arya might as well be one of the sand snakes or whatever. 

it might be worth noting that yeah, the sand snakes and brienne are written in exactly the same way. any woman who can hold her own on the battlefield has to relinquish emotional depth. there’s no time for having existential crises, because in their reality, you’re either  Badass Strong Man-Woman or a Naive Crying Woman-Baby. no in-between. thx d&d

so that would sum it up for me. there are 100 more differences if you went through the plot book-by-book, but these are the most glaring thematic ones for me. 

show!arya at this point is a bot, pure and simple.