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foodandfolklore · 1 year ago

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The Enchanted Pig

Also called "Porcul cel fermecat". This Romanian fairytale can be found in 1890 The Red Fairy Book by Andrew Lang, but there are even earlier non English publications. I wanted to share this story with my Kitchen Witches for two reasons. First, I often see people ask "What can I do with bones?" If you're a Kitchen Witch who uses meat, you can end up with a lot of bones. If you want to keep them for use later, maybe for a craft, I say do it. The other reason why I wanted to share this with my Kitchen Witches is the Pig symbolism. In modern day, Pigs sorta get a bad rap. They're seen as fat, dirty, and lazy. Calling someone a pig is an insult. So it can be hard to associate things like intelligence, family, fertility, patience, and transformation with pigs and by extension Pork. Maybe this story can help.

Once upon a time there lived a King who had three daughters. Now it happened that he had to go out to battle, so he called his daughters and said to them:

‘My dear children, I am obliged to go to war. The enemy is approaching us with a large army. It is a great grief to me to leave you all. During my absence take care of yourselves and be good girls; behave well and look after everything in the house. You may walk in the garden, and you may go into all the rooms in the palace, except the room at the back in the right-hand corner; into that you must not enter, for harm would befall you.’

‘You may keep your mind easy, father,’ they replied. ‘We have never been disobedient to you. Go in peace, and may heaven give you a glorious victory!’

When everything was ready for his departure, the King gave them the keys of all the rooms and reminded them once more of what he had said. His daughters kissed his hands with tears in their eyes, and wished him prosperity, and he gave the eldest the keys.

Now when the girls found themselves alone they felt so sad and dull that they did not know what to do. So, to pass the time, they decided to work for part of the day, to read for part of the day, and to enjoy themselves in the garden for part of the day. As long as they did this all went well with them. But this happy state of things did not last long. Every day they grew more and more curious, and you will see what the end of that was.

‘Sisters,’ said the eldest Princess, ‘all day long we sew, spin, and read. We have been several days quite alone, and there is no corner of the garden that we have not explored. We have been in all the rooms of our father’s palace, and have admired the rich and beautiful furniture: why should not we go into the room that our father forbad us to enter?’

‘Sister,’ said the youngest, ‘I cannot think how you can tempt us to break our father’s command. When he told us not to go into that room he must have known what he was saying, and have had a good reason for saying it.’

‘Surely the sky won’t fall about our heads if we DO go in,’ said the second Princess. ‘Dragons and such like monsters that would devour us will not be hidden in the room. And how will our father ever find out that we have gone in?’

While they were speaking thus, encouraging each other, they had reached the room; the eldest fitted the key into the lock, and snap! the door stood open.

The three girls entered, and what do you think they saw?

The room was quite empty, and without any ornament, but in the middle stood a large table, with a gorgeous cloth, and on it lay a big open book.

Now the Princesses were curious to know what was written in the book, especially the eldest, and this is what she read:

‘The eldest daughter of this King will marry a prince from the East.’

Then the second girl stepped forward, and turning over the page she read:

‘The second daughter of this King will marry a prince from the West.’

The girls were delighted, and laughed and teased each other.

But the youngest Princess did not want to go near the table or to open the book. Her elder sisters however left her no peace, and will she, nill she, they dragged her up to the table, and in fear and trembling she turned over the page and read:

‘The youngest daughter of this King will be married to a pig from the North.’

Now if a thunderbolt had fallen upon her from heaven it would not have frightened her more. She almost died of misery, and if her sisters had not held her up, she would have sunk to the ground and cut her head open.

When she came out of the fainting fit into which she had fallen in her terror, her sisters tried to comfort her, saying:

‘How can you believe such nonsense? When did it ever happen that a king’s daughter married a pig?’

‘What a baby you are!’ said the other sister; ‘has not our father enough soldiers to protect you, even if the disgusting creature did come to woo you?’

The youngest Princess would fain have let herself be convinced by her sisters’ words, and have believed what they said, but her heart was heavy. Her thoughts kept turning to the book, in which stood written that great happiness waited her sisters, but that a fate was in store for her such as had never before been known in the world.

Besides, the thought weighed on her heart that she had been guilty of disobeying her father. She began to get quite ill, and in a few days she was so changed that it was difficult to recognise her; formerly she had been rosy and merry, now she was pale and nothing gave her any pleasure. She gave up playing with her sisters in the garden, ceased to gather flowers to put in her hair, and never sang when they sat together at their spinning and sewing.

In the meantime the King won a great victory, and having completely defeated and driven off the enemy, he hurried home to his daughters, to whom his thoughts had constantly turned. Everyone went out to meet him with cymbals and fifes and drums, and there was great rejoicing over his victorious return. The King’s first act on reaching home was to thank Heaven for the victory he had gained over the enemies who had risen against him. He then entered his palace, and the three Princesses stepped forward to meet him. His joy was great when he saw that they were all well, for the youngest did her best not to appear sad.

In spite of this, however, it was not long before the King noticed that his third daughter was getting very thin and sad-looking. And all of a sudden he felt as if a hot iron were entering his soul, for it flashed through his mind that she had disobeyed his word. He felt sure he was right; but to be quite certain he called his daughters to him, questioned them, and ordered them to speak the truth. They confessed everything, but took good care not to say which had led the other two into temptation.

The King was so distressed when he heard it that he was almost overcome by grief. But he took heart and tried to comfort his daughters, who looked frightened to death. He saw that what had happened had happened, and that a thousand words would not alter matters by a hair’s-breadth.

Well, these events had almost been forgotten when one fine day a prince from the East appeared at the Court and asked the King for the hand of his eldest daughter. The King gladly gave his consent. A great wedding banquet was prepared, and after three days of feasting the happy pair were accompanied to the frontier with much ceremony and rejoicing.

After some time the same thing befell the second daughter, who was wooed and won by a prince from the West.

Now when the young Princess saw that everything fell out exactly as had been written in the book, she grew very sad. She refused to eat, and would not put on her fine clothes nor go out walking, and declared that she would rather die than become a laughing-stock to the world. But the King would not allow her to do anything so wrong, and he comforted her in all possible ways.

So the time passed, till lo and behold! one fine day an enormous pig from the North walked into the palace, and going straight up to the King said, ‘Hail! oh King. May your life be as prosperous and bright as sunrise on a clear day!’

‘I am glad to see you well, friend,’ answered the King, ‘but what wind has brought you hither?’

‘I come a-wooing,’ replied the Pig.

Now the King was astonished to hear so fine a speech from a Pig, and at once it occurred to him that something strange was the matter. He would gladly have turned the Pig’s thoughts in another direction, as he did not wish to give him the Princess for a wife; but when he heard that the Court and the whole street were full of all the pigs in the world he saw that there was no escape, and that he must give his consent. The Pig was not satisfied with mere promises, but insisted that the wedding should take place within a week, and would not go away till the King had sworn a royal oath upon it.

The King then sent for his daughter, and advised her to submit to fate, as there was nothing else to be done. And he added:

‘My child, the words and whole behaviour of this Pig are quite unlike those of other pigs. I do not myself believe that he always was a pig. Depend upon it some magic or witchcraft has been at work. Obey him, and do everything that he wishes, and I feel sure that Heaven will shortly send you release.’

‘If you wish me to do this, dear father, I will do it,’ replied the girl.

In the meantime the wedding-day drew near. After the marriage, the Pig and his bride set out for his home in one of the royal carriages. On the way they passed a great bog, and the Pig ordered the carriage to stop, and got out and rolled about in the mire till he was covered with mud from head to foot; then he got back into the carriage and told his wife to kiss him. What was the poor girl to do? She bethought herself of her father’s words, and, pulling out her pocket handkerchief, she gently wiped the Pig’s snout and kissed it.

By the time they reached the Pig’s dwelling, which stood in a thick wood, it was quite dark. They sat down quietly for a little, as they were tired after their drive; then they had supper together, and lay down to rest. During the night the Princess noticed that the Pig had changed into a man. She was not a little surprised, but remembering her father’s words, she took courage, determined to wait and see what would happen.

And now she noticed that every night the Pig became a man, and every morning he was changed into a Pig before she awoke. This happened several nights running, and the Princess could not understand it at all. Clearly her husband must be bewitched. In time she grew quite fond of him, he was so kind and gentle.

One fine day as she was sitting alone she saw an old witch go past. She felt quite excited, as it was so long since she had seen a human being, and she called out to the old woman to come and talk to her. Among other things the witch told her that she understood all magic arts, and that she could foretell the future, and knew the healing powers of herbs and plants.

‘I shall be grateful to you all my life, old dame,’ said the Princess, ‘if you will tell me what is the matter with my husband. Why is he a Pig by day and a human being by night?’

‘I was just going to tell you that one thing, my dear, to show you what a good fortune-teller I am. If you like, I will give you a herb to break the spell.’

‘If you will only give it to me,’ said the Princess, ‘I will give you anything you choose to ask for, for I cannot bear to see him in this state.’

‘Here, then, my dear child,’ said the witch, ‘take this thread, but do not let him know about it, for if he did it would lose its healing power. At night, when he is asleep, you must get up very quietly, and fasten the thread round his left foot as firmly as possible; and you will see in the morning he will not have changed back into a Pig, but will still be a man. I do not want any reward. I shall be sufficiently repaid by knowing that you are happy. It almost breaks my heart to think of all you have suffered, and I only wish I had known it sooner, as I should have come to your rescue at once.’

When the old witch had gone away the Princess hid the thread very carefully, and at night she got up quietly, and with a beating heart she bound the thread round her husband’s foot. Just as she was pulling the knot tight there was a crack, and the thread broke, for it was rotten. Her husband awoke with a start, and said to her, ‘Unhappy woman, what have you done? Three days more and this unholy spell would have fallen from me, and now, who knows how long I may have to go about in this disgusting shape? I must leave you at once, and we shall not meet again until you have worn out three pairs of iron shoes and blunted a steel staff in your search for me.’ So saying he disappeared.

Now, when the Princess was left alone she began to weep and moan in a way that was pitiful to hear; but when she saw that her tears and groans did her no good, she got up, determined to go wherever fate should lead her.

On reaching a town, the first thing she did was to order three pairs of iron sandals and a steel staff, and having made these preparations for her journey, she set out in search of her husband. On and on she wandered over nine seas and across nine continents; through forests with trees whose stems were as thick as beer-barrels; stumbling and knocking herself against the fallen branches, then picking herself up and going on; the boughs of the trees hit her face, and the shrubs tore her hands, but on she went, and never looked back. At last, wearied with her long journey and worn out and overcome with sorrow, but still with hope at her heart, she reached a house.

Now who do you think lived there? The Moon.

The Princess knocked at the door, and begged to be let in that she might rest a little. The mother of the Moon, when she saw her sad plight, felt a great pity for her, and took her in and nursed and tended her. And while she was here the Princess had a little baby.

One day the mother of the Moon asked her:

‘How was it possible for you, a mortal, to get hither to the house of the Moon?’

Then the poor Princess told her all that happened to her, and added ‘I shall always be thankful to Heaven for leading me hither, and grateful to you that you took pity on me and on my baby, and did not leave us to die. Now I beg one last favour of you; can your daughter, the Moon, tell me where my husband is?’

‘She cannot tell you that, my child,’ replied the goddess, ‘but, if you will travel towards the East until you reach the dwelling of the Sun, he may be able to tell you something.’

Then she gave the Princess a roast chicken to eat, and warned her to be very careful not to lose any of the bones, because they might be of great use to her.

When the Princess had thanked her once more for her hospitality and for her good advice, and had thrown away one pair of shoes that were worn out, and had put on a second pair, she tied up the chicken bones in a bundle, and taking her baby in her arms and her staff in her hand, she set out once more on her wanderings.

On and on and on she went across bare sandy deserts, where the roads were so heavy that for every two steps that she took forwards she fell back one; but she struggled on till she had passed these dreary plains; next she crossed high rocky mountains, jumping from crag to crag and from peak to peak. Sometimes she would rest for a little on a mountain, and then start afresh always farther and farther on. She had to cross swamps and to scale mountain peaks covered with flints, so that her feet and knees and elbows were all torn and bleeding, and sometimes she came to a precipice across which she could not jump, and she had to crawl round on hands and knees, helping herself along with her staff. At length, wearied to death, she reached the palace in which the Sun lived. She knocked and begged for admission.

The mother of the Sun opened the door, and was astonished at beholding a mortal from the distant earthly shores, and wept with pity when she heard of all she had suffered. Then, having promised to ask her son about the Princess’s husband, she hid her in the cellar, so that the Sun might notice nothing on his return home, for he was always in a bad temper when he came in at night. The next day the Princess feared that things would not go well with her, for the Sun had noticed that some one from the other world had been in the palace. But his mother had soothed him with soft words, assuring him that this was not so. So the Princess took heart when she saw how kindly she was treated, and asked:

‘But how in the world is it possible for the Sun to be angry? He is so beautiful and so good to mortals.’

‘This is how it happens,’ replied the Sun’s mother. ‘In the morning when he stands at the gates of paradise he is happy, and smiles on the whole world, but during the day he gets cross, because he sees all the evil deeds of men, and that is why his heat becomes so scorching; but in the evening he is both sad and angry, for he stands at the gates of death; that is his usual course. From there he comes back here.’

She then told the Princess that she had asked about her husband, but that her son had replied that he knew nothing about him, and that her only hope was to go and inquire of the Wind.

Before the Princess left the mother of the Sun gave her a roast chicken to eat, and advised her to take great care of the bones, which she did, wrapping them up in a bundle. She then threw away her second pair of shoes, which were quite worn out, and with her child on her arm and her staff in her hand, she set forth on her way to the Wind.

In these wanderings she met with even greater difficulties than before, for she came upon one mountain of flints after another, out of which tongues of fire would flame up; she passed through woods which had never been trodden by human foot, and had to cross fields of ice and avalanches of snow. The poor woman nearly died of these hardships, but she kept a brave heart, and at length she reached an enormous cave in the side of a mountain. This was where the Wind lived. There was a little door in the railing in front of the cave, and here the Princess knocked and begged for admission. The mother of the Wind had pity on her and took her in, that she might rest a little. Here too she was hidden away, so that the Wind might not notice her.

The next morning the mother of the Wind told her that her husband was living in a thick wood, so thick that no axe had been able to cut a way through it; here he had built himself a sort of house by placing trunks of trees together and fastening them with withes and here he lived alone, shunning human kind.

After the mother of the Wind had given the Princess a chicken to eat, and had warned her to take care of the bones, she advised her to go by the Milky Way, which at night lies across the sky, and to wander on till she reached her goal.

Having thanked the old woman with tears in her eyes for her hospitality, and for the good news she had given her, the Princess set out on her journey and rested neither night nor day, so great was her longing to see her husband again. On and on she walked until her last pair of shoes fell in pieces. So she threw them away and went on with bare feet, not heeding the bogs nor the thorns that wounded her, nor the stones that bruised her. At last she reached a beautiful green meadow on the edge of a wood. Her heart was cheered by the sight of the flowers and the soft cool grass, and she sat down and rested for a little. But hearing the birds chirping to their mates among the trees made her think with longing of her husband, and she wept bitterly, and taking her child in her arms, and her bundle of chicken bones on her shoulder, she entered the wood.

For three days and three nights she struggled through it, but could find nothing. She was quite worn out with weariness and hunger, and even her staff was no further help to her, for in her many wanderings it had become quite blunted. She almost gave up in despair, but made one last great effort, and suddenly in a thicket she came upon the sort of house that the mother of the Wind had described. It had no windows, and the door was up in the roof. Round the house she went, in search of steps, but could find none. What was she to do? How was she to get in? She thought and thought, and tried in vain to climb up to the door. Then suddenly she be-thought her of the chicken bones that she had dragged all that weary way, and she said to herself: ‘They would not all have told me to take such good care of these bones if they had not had some good reason for doing so. Perhaps now, in my hour of need, they may be of use to me.’

So she took the bones out of her bundle, and having thought for a moment, she placed the two ends together. To her surprise they stuck tight; then she added the other bones, till she had two long poles the height of the house; these she placed against the wall, at a distance of a yard from one another. Across them she placed the other bones, piece by piece, like the steps of a ladder. As soon as one step was finished she stood upon it and made the next one, and then the next, till she was close to the door. But just as she got near the top she noticed that there were no bones left for the last rung of the ladder. What was she to do? Without that last step the whole ladder was useless. She must have lost one of the bones. Then suddenly an idea came to her. Taking a knife she chopped off her little finger, and placing it on the last step, it stuck as the bones had done. The ladder was complete, and with her child on her arm she entered the door of the house. Here she found everything in perfect order. Having taken some food, she laid the child down to sleep in a trough that was on the floor, and sat down herself to rest.

When her husband, the Pig, came back to his house, he was startled by what he saw. At first he could not believe his eyes, and stared at the ladder of bones, and at the little finger on the top of it. He felt that some fresh magic must be at work, and in his terror he almost turned away from the house; but then a better idea came to him, and he changed himself into a dove, so that no witchcraft could have power over him, and flew into the room without touching the ladder. Here he found a woman rocking a child. At the sight of her, looking so changed by all that she had suffered for his sake, his heart was moved by such love and longing and by so great a pity that he suddenly became a man.

The Princess stood up when she saw him, and her heart beat with fear, for she did not know him. But when he had told her who he was, in her great joy she forgot all her sufferings, and they seemed as nothing to her. He was a very handsome man, as straight as a fir tree. They sat down together and she told him all her adventures, and he wept with pity at the tale. And then he told her his own history.

‘I am a King’s son. Once when my father was fighting against some dragons, who were the scourge of our country, I slew the youngest dragon. His mother, who was a witch, cast a spell over me and changed me into a Pig. It was she who in the disguise of an old woman gave you the thread to bind round my foot. So that instead of the three days that had to run before the spell was broken, I was forced to remain a Pig for three more years. Now that we have suffered for each other, and have found each other again, let us forget the past.’

And in their joy they kissed one another.

Next morning they set out early to return to his father’s kingdom. Great was the rejoicing of all the people when they saw him and his wife; his father and his mother embraced them both, and there was feasting in the palace for three days and three nights.

Then they set out to see her father. The old King nearly went out of his mind with joy at beholding his daughter again. When she had told him all her adventures, he said to her:

‘Did not I tell you that I was quite sure that that creature who wooed and won you as his wife had not been born a Pig? You see, my child, how wise you were in doing what I told you.’

And as the King was old and had no heirs, he put them on the throne in his place. And they ruled as only kings rule who have suffered many things. And if they are not dead they are still living and ruling happily.

#Fairytale #fairy tales #folktale #enchanted pig #Pig #Pagan #Kitchen Witch #Witch #Pig Correspondence #Sow #Romanian Fairytale #KlickWitch #Food and Folklore #Bones

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fountainpenguin · 1 year ago

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"It's not that difficult to get your head around; you'll never meet another me..." (x)

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New Pixels Imperfect stuff today! || One-Shot

“There Are Many Benefits to Being Corporeal”

Read on AO3

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I am back on my “LazyBeans26 and PiglinMyNose are the same person on NameMC” propaganda… Sniff and Pig have infected my brain, so here’s a silly sickfic about a tired camera boy and his weird new friend who's just contracted "experiencing the horrors of being sentient" disease.

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

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When Jimmy and Scar asked if they could take turns possessing his vessel, LazyBeans26 didn't even hesitate. "Sounds like fun! I'm in." Why not? He's always down for a good time and he's not a square.

They tracked him to his studio apartment, 4th floor of the Raisin Tower. It's the Sun Ray Tower; nobody ever calls it that. Yeah, he's earned it; he's been around New Star Station a long time. It's a tiny place, but that just feels right, y'know? Must be his slime hybrid genes. Something about small, square spaces just feels right. And it's really not bad for a guy who's lived his whole life alone. He's not a builder; he hates doing interiors. This spot works just fine for him, even though Jimmy and Scar are bumping into each other in the kitchen space and they're so close to the bed, Scar could jab it with his cane.

"Are you sure?" Jimmy asks, tilting his head. Lazy's in front of his mirror in the skin change room, two bobby pins in his teeth as he ties back his hair. He clamps the pins to one side with his tongue.

"What d'you mean? Of course I'm sure. I've been thinking of changing my name, actually… It's about time I haul my butt across the station and hit up Etho for that anyway. He'll be much happier if we make it a two-fer. He'll get all huffy if it's just the name."

"Oh, really?" That's Scar. "What- What are you changing your name to?"

"Pig. Pig something… I haven't figured out the rest. I'm just kind of tired of going by 'Lazy.' It's kind of run its course for me. And '26' never really clicked as a name." Hair pinned back, he rinses his hands and splashes at his face. "I'll settle it on the way over. Shall we go?"

"Gods, you're so cool," Scar breathes, staring back at him. His mouth quirks up in a smile at one end in a very GoodTimesWithScar sort of way. "I told Jimmy you'd say no."

"How long have you known me, Scar?"

Scar giggles, waving a dismissive hand. "L-let's not get into it… You're very cool, Pig. And handsome!"

"I appreciate that, yeah."

They give him the rundown on the way downstairs. Jimmy and Scar are looking to team up, taking turns with a single vessel, in a painful attempt to defeat the ender dragon and free the End before the chaotic duo of Grian and Joel. "And every time we die," Jimmy explains, looping his arm around Lazy's neck, "then Scar and I switch off who's in control."

"So are we all in my vessel at once?" he asks, pushing open the apartment door. They step onto the street together. The road's all bedrock, accented in a sidewalk of deepslate half-slabs as far as the eye can see. As always, Lazy glances down the left-hand street. The slime soul spawner sits in a place of honor in the town center, wrapped in the roots of an enormous dark oak tree. It's custom made, entirely decorative… but it's fun to admire nonetheless. Should I say hi to Mum? I should swing by and say hi to Mum.

"No, no… We're taking turns." Jimmy pats Lazy on the shoulder as though in reassurance. He's not the most reassuring fella that there's ever been, but Lazy lets him anyway. "The thing is, we log off every time we die. You're the only one who'll know everything that's happening for the both of us. You're collecting all the footage and as a third party, you'll be there to hold us responsible so we can't do any cheaty cheating. We're in a race, after all. We're Minecraft professionals. Does that all sound good?"

"You want to know what I think?" Lazy peels away from Jimmy and starts walking backwards, thrusting his hands in his hoodie pockets. He sticks his tongue at Scar. "I think Mr. Good Times With Fey here is hoping to wheedle out another password for his collection!"

"Oh, no, no, no," Scar protests, eyes like innocent emerald blobs. He lifts his cane, shaking both hands back and forth. "I don't take those anymore… I'm an honest man, Mr. Pig!" He bops Lazy on the head with his cane, then scampers down the road with a hum. He catches the copper rod of a lamppost with the cane hook and swings around, over and over, just waiting for Lazy and Jimmy to catch up. Lazy rolls his eyes.

"You're getting a substitute password if we do this. And you can keep it."

Scar makes a face, but doesn't protest. One-times do nothing for me, goes unsaid. His cane clicks and scrapes as he twirls around the pole again. Then Scar drops back to the road and pauses to massage his foot.

Grian and Joel, apparently, will be inviting someone new to the station to play this little game. Lazy asks about that as he and Jimmy wait for Scar. Jimmy shrugs. "Some endermite soul showed up near the fox spawner and got tangled in their soul-catcher. They never found his vessel, so Mama Fox let Etho bring him to the station."

Lazy lifts one eyebrow.

"All right," Jimmy amends, scratching behind his neck. He flashes a guilty smile. His canary-yellow wings, small and positioned low against his back, give the softest flutter. "He may have smuggled the guy out to bring him here, yeah. You know Mama Fox. She's gotta have one of everything in her collection…"

"I do believe I made her acquaintance once, yes. I wasn't gonna mention it, but I did wonder how he could've swayed an entire soul out of her if there wasn't a bit of deception involved. It's been a hot minute since we've had a new endermite hybrid running around, yeah? Good for him. Hey Scar, I'm gonna say hi to Mum real fast."

"That's fine! I'll be up in a minute. Just gotta rest my foot. My glitch did a weird jolt when I hopped down; oooh boy… I'm gonna be feeling that."

[Cnt'd on AO3 - Link at top]

#Riddle ''most predictable person ever'' wrote more deathswitch boys more at 11 #PiglinMyNose #SnifferMyFeet #mcyt #Sniff and Pig #Pixels Imperfect #ridwriting #I told myself not to do the Tumblr post for a few days but I am very weak and being disorganized stresses me out <3 #Tagging no 'blrs because. what even are these two.#For some reason ''Love Me Dead'' was the song that kept coming to mind with these two but. I literally could not explain why.#Nor did I feel good about it wheeze #apparently art #fic announcement

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fineprintedsunsets · 1 year ago

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Chapter 1: Strange

this is not edited, it's a part of a series, check out my master list for details.

Doctor Stephen Strange. I’ve heard of him, hard not to. He was the guy who restored a sanctuary, brought life back into New York. Even though, a year ago. His hands were steady at the operating table, now he works his way around mystical magic, wielding something much more dangerous then a scalpel.

Magic is dangrerous, yet somehow we all wish to wield it. To get a taste of the adrenaline that course through the veins, to show off, the brag about how you, only you, can save a whole world with just a snap of the fingers. What happens when you have to pay the price for the demons you’ve created along the way?

A person told me once, that your demons never leave you, and as much as I hated to admitted, she was right. Demons prowl at the edge of your bed, that sink their claws into your spine and they tear at you day by day. The angels we meet hardly last, because unlike demons, there life meant something valuable and the knowledge they whisper are not for human ears

Angels are more demons, then demons themselves. Holding that information, keeping into themselves.

I no longer believe in Heaven or Hell, worthless phenomenons if you ask me on a given day. But what is true, are the beings that walk beneath the elevation of our earth. Demons and Angels are real, but the places, practically fairytales to scare children into behaving, or to persuade widows with absent families to go church every Sunday. They are untrue.

I was a whisper once, still am truly. I’m the thing that parents tell there children to behave for. I am not Krampus, nor am I Old Saint Nick. I am Pareidolia. I find meaning when things have none. My large wings, my demon horns, and my glowing red eyes make others advert their gazes. I arrange myself in a group called The Collectors. We’ve been searching for an item in Strange’s possession for awhile now. I can’t have my own demons, I already am one.

Strange owns a watch. A sentimental object given his protection over it. The watch is nothing to us, but the hands, the things that make that clock tick. Are made of something so dangerous, it’s hard to concede.

Plasmanianin Metal. A metal harmful for humans to touch, to breath in, to look at. Plasmatros is where I come from, making me and the other collectors immune to the might sting of the metal. But Strange? It’s hard to understand how the watch has not burned through his skin.

It’s the last object we need, to perform the Resurrection Ritual. To bring back my sister. She is not dead, instead she resides in the land of the angels, clouded by greed and false hope. Madneko is the land in which humans refer to as Heaven, and Hell? Plasmatros.

But if were all just demons, living with other demons, who want Angels to watch over them, What are humans?

A pain in my fucking ass.

“Can you hurry up? Surely the Doctor doesn't have much to do at 11:00pm” I’m shocked he’s still receiving visitors at this time, but his main desk, occupied with his human pet must run a full turn of the sun.

“Stephen is in a mood today, but go on in.” I point for Pactolus to stand at one side of me, while Panolia at the other. They are my greatist protectors. I wear my human skin today, making my red hair shine, my horns tucked into my scalp, and my wings vanishing beneath my rib bones.

Playing human is fun, until you have to act like them.

We push back the doors to the Santum, watching as Strange messes with a cup of water, rewinding the time so he can keep taking mouthfulls without ever having to get up.

Lazy pigs.

I cannot lie, Strange is anything but unattractive. His hair is perfectly combed, with a few flyaways settled at the top, and his subtle nicely trimmed. Even some demons back in Plasmatro don’t compare to this human.

I try to hid my disgust.

Panolia and Pactolus stay at my side, they too wearing human skin. I clear my throat as Strange takes another gulp, resting his feet up on a large desk. His attire is leather, blue and red. Of course, accompanied by, the levitating cloak he received at Kamar-Taj.

“Name?” Strange speaks, his voice is entitled, something humans seem to posses alot of.

Entitlement. He sits on throne he did not carve.

“Pare.”

“This is Pan.” I tip my chin at the blonde women to my right,

“And Pac.” I motion to Pactolus on my left. His black hair seemingly sucking the light out of this room.

“Lies.” He smiles, cocking his head. Stephen raises a brow and takes another sip of water. The Time Stone lights against his chest each time he loops the action.

I narrow my eyes, never wanting to be upshown by a human. Especially this one.

“Take off the mask.” He says it with intimacy, his voice the same high tone I despise. I grit my teeth, but do not remove my human disguise.

“Pan, Pac. Let me handle it.” My protectors hesitate, before the nod, and walk outside the door letting it close. I can feel them, stationed just outside.

“Hello, Pareidolia” Stephen cocks a small smile, standing from his desk, rounding the wooden piece of furniture before crossing his ankles against each other, and settling against the wood frame. I almost gasp as he eyes take in my human body. Why am I feeling something? What is this human doing?

He rolls his eyes, seeing I have yet to unveil myself. “Does the demon not want to play?”

The rage the fills my bones is unlike any other. The nerve of this bastard, thinking he has the right to taunt me. It’s a privilege his eyes get to lay upon me. I stretch the human skin away, feeling it break, seeping back into my bones. He watches. This act feels intimate to, almost as if he’s watching me undress. A certain heat shoots through my body and all I want to do is recoil in disgust.

I roll my eyes into my head, replacing them with the glowing pools of red. My horns tear through my skull, growing as he watches it all. Even as I breath in and out, forcing the wings to break from my back, watching the feathered black cardilage expand from me. My armor coils around me like spider venom, crawling up and down my arms, legs, and back. Piercing together by each strand until..

I stand in front of him as Pareidolia not Pare. Stephen eyes roam me, his human hands gripped against the desk. I see him walk toward me, but I don’t move. He circles me, eyes my wings, my horns, my eyes, my thighs. Even if their covered with metal, I still feel a jolt of electricity shoot from my body to my pressure point.

“What do you request of me?” He raises an eyebrow, stationing himself back at his desk, his ankles crossed, his cape dangling almost effortlessly over his sides.

“I need the metal.”

“Need, or want?” I step forward, my voice forcing itself into a growl.

“It is not time for your games. A life hangs at stake.”

Stephen looks at me, cocking another grin. I suck in a breatth as he opens up his vile, but somewhat large mouth to speak.

“Ah yes. The sister who choose Heaven over Hell.” I ignore how he knows it already, the story of me, my sister, Angels and Demons. He knows my story, but Stephen Strange does not know me.

He dosent seem the least bit intimidated by my demon frame, and it makes it all the more unsettling. If the watch wasn't already enough.

“Just give me it and we can go our separate ways.” I grumble, my voice ringing loud in his office. I cringe at it, the space in which he works.

“Why would I give my watch, a 800 dollar model, to a demon?”

“You don’t care about it’s value.”

“I do. Just not in the way you think.” He mutters, more to himself. But his eyes never leave my bruning red ones. It’s odd in of itself. Everything about this human being is odd..

What if he’s not.

A human being, I mean.

I speak to Pac and Pan through mind, travelling the message through their Protecter bonds.

It’s possible. Pac answers first.

What would it make him if he’s not from Madneko or Plasmatros? Pan answers a few moments later. I table our mind conversation and focus on Strange again.

“Please, Don’t stop discussing dinner plans on my account.” He holds up his hands as if he didn’t mean to interrupt, before crossing his arms against his chest and smiling.

A fucking smile.

“Who are you?” I ask,

“What are you?” I confirm, sounding almost breathless. He knew what I was when I stepped into this room, he knew of my family, my problem, he knew of my communication with Pac and Pan through Protection Bonds.

“I am Doctor Stephen Strange. As for what I am, I’d say a bit hungry at the moment.” Stephen smiles my way, as if somehow finding this all amusing. I creek my neck, suck in a breath, and exhale as I return back to my red-haired human.

“If you’ll excuse me.” He crosses his hands, summons a sparking portal, and walks through it. I watch as the sparks fly, closing behind him as a mark burns away on the floor.

Fucking Bastard.

#marvel #fanfic #masterlist #oneshot #fluff #smut

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bluestarrysky1 · 1 year ago

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I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, pulling the stack of documents in front of me, raising my pen and preparing myself for another sleepless night. Not from the work itself- no, I did not rise to the position of General in the demon army to be afraid of a few measly pages- but from another thing entirely that was terrifying enough to cause nightmares.

"Whatcha doin'?" A woefully familiar voice cried out and and bright blue eyes were shoved in my vision.

"Mortal." I tsked and shoved her head away with my palm, marvelling at how she could stand that repulsive shade she dyed her hair- bubblegum pink she'd called it. I prefer to call it a monstrosity. "I told you not to bother me while I'm working."

"Yeah, I know." Jasmine shrugged and draped across the second armchair and helped herself to one of my cookies. The audacity. I was looking forward to eating those later. Yet I couldn't bring myself to bite back upon seeing the smile blooming across her face.

"Then why are you here?" A headache started to form at my temples- one that seemed to appear only when she was in the room.

"I got bored, Aaron."

"How can you be bored? I ensured your room was filled with commodities humans liked- books, strange movies with- frankly- offensive depictions of my kind, paper, and even colouring pencils. Do you understand the lengths I had to go in order to get colouring pencils approved? Especially after the Great Colour Massacre of '98?"

"Oh I've been meaning to ask you about that since everyone keeps mentioning it." Jasmine yawned. "But I can't be bothered to hear another boring legal sermon. Got enough of that from the humans on Earth. Feels like I'm back home again."

"You should go home," I muttered childishly, not meaning a single word of it yet I would never say it out loud. I'd never live it down.

Jasmine threw a lazy smile my way and twirled a knife between her fingers. "And deprive you of my wonderful company? Never."

She continued to chatter about random things from her day- like how she bonded with the staff in the kitchen (Devil knows why they like her), irritated some officials to the extent that they set the ends of her hair on fire (so that was the weird smell). Normally, I was able to drown out her words and treat them like white noise, but today she seemed to be more interested in my work than usual.

"That looks interesting." She pointed to a red file on the 'completed' pile. "What's it about?"

My heart sank and I stopped writing, taking off my glasses to look at her in the eye. "Minister Belthazor died earlier today, and that is the incident report."

"Oh thank goodness." Jasmine's shoulders dropped and she let out a relieved sigh. "I thought something serious had happened."

"Jasmine!"

"What? I never liked the old git and I know you didn't either! He was such a huge pig I'm surprised no one offed him earlier."

"Well you certainly tried." I sniffed, leaning back in my chair and recalling the incident two weeks ago where she tried to slit his throat with a pair of scissors. Thanks to that, scissors are banned in all government houses and most schools use plastic ones now.

"I don't regret it!" She declared, tilting her chin upwards with pride. It was this arrogance that caused her to never back down from a fight, and me to drag her away from lunging at powerful demons. "He was being racist to you, and I can't stand seeing my friends being bullied."

"Oh so we're friends now?" I sneered, ignoring the warmth that spread through me at her words. Friends. Have I ever had one of those?

"I've put up with you for a year, so of course we are. So, how did he die?"

I graciously ignored the insult. "Someone sent him a flower bouquet and a pie as a present and he didn't think to check it properly. You see, they both contained poppies- the one thing that demons are deathly allergic to." I didn't mind telling the Pink Human this- demons have an extremely sensitive sense of smell. The only reason the minister was unable to detect it was because it had been masked with another scent.

"Makes sense, that's how I would do it. It's a pretty effective technique."

My head snapped up and it felt like a band was tightening around my chest. "What?"

She didn't respond, staring and picking the edge of her cuticles while humming a song I knew was a human children sang- I believe it was called 'Ring a ring o' roses'?

"Jasmine," I said softly, straining my ears to make sure that no one was outside. "Where were you this morning?"

She looked up, the innocence in her wide eyes contrasted by the smirk playing on her lips. "I was out picking flowers, Aaron." Her gaze was wide and unblinking as a sudden chill crept over the room. "I told you, I can't stand seeing my friends being bullied."

The scariest phrase that can come out of a Human’s mouth is “Makes sense, that’s how i’d do it”

#writers #writers on tumblr #writing prompts #writeblr #writing inspiration #writing prompt #wattpad writer #creative writing #random writing #write #writer #writerscommunity #writing community #writing #author #i wrote something #ideas

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jodilin65 · 36 years ago

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SATURDAY, JANUARY 30, 1988 I am still wide awake and I probably will be for quite a while. I thought Crystal was at work and I wondered why she wasn’t home yet, so I called and was told that today was her day off. She’s probably with Mike.

Nothing much happened in court yesterday. The other party never even showed up.

Earlier tonight I finally got around to changing the bedroom around. I dusted and rearranged the walls. I also did some work in the kitchen. Tomorrow I’ll need to change the pig’s cage, vacuum and mop. Crystal can finish the rest of the dusting.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 23, 1988 I was up all last night and didn’t get to bed until around 5am, so I slept all day today.

I was pissed off over Crystal’s refusal to do any cleaning. I’ll just up her rent.

She should be home any minute. I hope. I could use the company, despite her laziness.

Mary D fucking set me up tonight (a gay girl I met through Crystal). She said she was gonna come and get me at 10:30 and she never showed up. I was told a million different excuses for that. She’s out of my book. She’s just not worth it and she does that every time she owes me something, and she’s also ugly as hell, so what’s the point?

I think I’ll go see Emily tomorrow. I spoke to her tonight. She said for me to call her first because she doesn’t know exactly what she has planned for tomorrow. Hope I can see her. I haven’t for a while.

I ran out of smokes and that’s it! I quit! I’m not spending the fortune you have to pay for cigarettes. I can’t even fucking breathe and shit if I’m gonna lose the voice I worked so hard to get to sing with.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 1988 Yesterday, Tammy came in from Salem with Lisa and Rebecca. We met at Friendly’s. After Tammy and I left Friendly’s, we went to see her doctor who had to explain to her about the dental surgery she is to be having. Then after that, we returned to Friendly’s where we met Tera, Bill S’s daughter. Bill S is a lawyer that Tammy once liked. Finally, before she made the trip back home, she came to my place for a little while and met Crystal.

Lisa was so thrilled to see the pigs, as usual.

I spoke on the phone to Mary, Stuart, Fran and Kevin. When I tried to call Jenny, she said she’d call me back some other time cuz she said she was in the shittiest mood she’s ever been in. A few hours later I tried to call her, but she was asleep.

Wednesday, I walked up to the deli for a bite to eat, then took the bus downtown. There I bought a Laura Branigan 45, some musk lotion, Charlie perfume, and a checkered wool mini skirt for only $5.

Tuesday, I had a great time at the Willie Ross in my sign language class. The class was all in sign. No voices were used at all. The teacher tested us with fingerspelling, signs and numbers.

First of all, at the beginning of the class, we signed with no voice and stated our names, and our weaknesses and our strengths. I said that I could sign very well but that my receptive skills were weak.

I think I have lost 3 or 4 pounds. Tomorrow I’m going to try to avoid eating if I can. I’d like to get down to 95-100 pounds. Crystal was up to 101. Now she’s back to 97. Lucky bitch. She has no muscle, though, and is nowhere near as solid as I am. I did some exercises tonight. I’m a little sore, but I hope to lose more weight.

Crystal damn well better start helping out with chores. I told her she better vacuum tomorrow and said I’d mop.

I got a tote bag and a mug from the book clubs. I also have 14 more books coming. I’ve been getting them in exchange for signing up others into the clubs. I think I’ll definitely need to set up more shelves. The gold plastic ones. I just don’t know where. Maybe in the hall where the wooden stand and fern plant is. Or in the bedroom where the chair is. Maybe I’ll set them up side by side with the other shelves out in the hallway where the door release is.

There’s also this book service (not a book club) that sends you 6 romance novels every month for $12.50. No obligation and you can cancel at any time. It’s just that romance isn’t really my thing. I like suspense, but I may try it anyway.

Rose called from Community Care. She’s to be my new therapist. Rose also does intake. She’s fat and ugly, too. I miss Trisha. I want her back. Rose and I are to meet on Sundays at 3pm.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 20, 1988 Today I am going downtown. I am going to buy a pair of shoes, a record of Laura Branigan’s, and just basically browse around and kill time. First I think I’ll walk up to the deli and get my coffee. Then I’ll take the bus downtown.

The new doctor I saw yesterday really seems to make sense and I think he knows what he’s talking about. He agrees with me about there being no way I could be bipolar. He thinks I’m hyperactive, which is true.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 19, 1988 Kevin is here now and I just called Crystal. She wants him here when she gets home so we can both play with his head. I told Kevin she had a crush on him, but of course, she doesn’t.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 17, 1988 I have finally found a shorthand book and have learned some, though it’s not a beginner’s book.

Tomorrow I have a doctor’s appointment with Dr. Franklin, the new shrink that’s replacing Dr. Heronimo. I’m sure he’s just like the others. Maybe I can find out how long it’s going to be before I see a new therapist.

I am at the X doing my laundry. Kevin drove me here. My clothes are still in the washer and I am sitting down next to Nervioso writing in this journal. I just finished a cigarette.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 16, 1988 Yesterday was my bastard brother Larry’s birthday. Hope he eats shit and dies. Haven’t seen him for a couple of years. Not since he and the roommate (Michelle L) I had in my first apartment on Locust St. used the hell out of me. This was before Larry threatened me. I even filed charges against him in court till he sweet-talked me into dropping them before going our separate ways.

Today I got my temporary ID from welfare and they took my picture. It will be ready any day after February 5th. I got $20 in food stamps.

I went looking for a beginner’s book on shorthand but couldn’t find one. I was surprised.

I went to Shopper’s Drug and got 5mg of Navane, and guess what? According to Monte, they come even lower than 5mg!

FRIDAY, JANUARY 15, 1988 Crystal went to get her kids. She was supposed to come back here to get me but she hasn’t shown up yet.

I also cannot get a hold of Kevin. Who knows where he is or what errands he’s doing?

I want to go look for that book on shorthand, which looks like it’d be a fun thing to learn, and I also need to redeem my food stamps. Then I’m going to see if I can get a 5mg refill. I’m hesitant about taking 10mg anymore.

My niece Lisa’s birthday is on the 20th. She’ll be 5. I must get her a gift. I don’t know what.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 14, 1988 Stuart just called to say he is on his way over for a visit.

I haven’t written since Monday. I’ve wanted to but I got lazy.

Got 6 more books today. Now my shelves are jam-packed.

Later…

Stuart left, thank God. He seemed quite aggravated about something.

MONDAY, JANUARY 11, 1988 I got up at 10am today and chatted with Crystal for a while, then Mike came over and took us out to do errands.

Crystal was going to have a tooth pulled but forgot her Medicaid card. I had her scared for a while too, telling her they ran out of Novocain and that their tools broke. I said she’d have to have it pulled with a pair of pliers and no Novocain. She fell for it for a while, the gullible geek!

I got fried shrimp at the Eastfield Mall. She got pizza. Then Mike got gas and drove us home.

The nervous bastard called all aggravated about God knows what and then I pulled my little game of crossed call-waiting.

I should’ve received more books today, but I guess not. Maybe tomorrow.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 10, 1988 Stuart came over for a visit. He’s a gay guy I knew from Longmeadow High. We are having dinner together. I am cooking chicken wings, noodles, and peas. He says I am a good cook yet I am asking him question after question.

I am going to go over to Stuart’s for spaghetti and meatballs one of these nights.

I need someone to trim my bangs. They’re quite uneven as usual.

Ma called today from Florida. She didn’t have much to say. Just that it’s been raining since I left. True or not, I don’t know. I said hi to Dad briefly. He didn’t say much, either.

José is outside begging Nellie to open the door, but it doesn’t seem like she wants to.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 9, 1988 I tried to sleep but can’t. Earlier this evening I managed to track down Diane D, Kevin’s ex-wife, out of curiosity. According to her, Kevin used to beat the shit out of her, and he knocked 3 teeth out of his son Eddie. He was very jealous of Diane and the boys’ friends, too. He owes about $10,000 in child support. I believe everything she told me, too.

I’m tempted not to let him know where I move to, but the problem is he can always find me. Not that I’m afraid of him, but he’s smart enough to go to the post office or the registry of motor vehicles and get a forwarding address. I could kill those agencies! That’s my private business, but they say it’s a matter of public record under the Freedom of Information Act. Fuck that shit! What about freedom of privacy?

FRIDAY, JANUARY 8, 1988 The weather is so bad! There’s almost a foot of snow out there and trying to drive out there is miserable. I wanted to do grocery shopping but I couldn’t because it was so bad out there and the nervous bastard was getting quite nervous.

I found out some interesting news from Cathy at the office. Apparently, Crystal had her kids over here, and she is going to pay me $15 for the broken picture frame I just discovered, too. If she doesn’t, she can get the hell out.

I tried to call Mary yesterday and she was more interested in her goddamn shows than my vacation and she never called back. So to hell with her.

The nervous bastard went home after dropping me off. I’m still playing my little game with him where I call him and then I hit the receiver quickly, so he hears a click. Then I tell him I’ve got a call on the other line, then click it again and talk to the so-called caller knowing he can hear me. Oh, the things I say!

Fran is going to drop by tomorrow to see me and also give me the books I ordered through his introductory offer from the Mystery Guild. Speaking of books, I got 8 of them from the account I set up under Toby G and 4 of my own for joining new members. I still have 16 more coming and 3 from Fran. That’s 31 books! Plus, I have more coming from other people like Crystal.

That Troll book club I joined also owes me an introductory offer.

I sure was surprised yesterday at how happy Nellie and Hank were to see me back.

I called Anna and Julia, the two elderly sisters next door, to tell them where I’d been. They were worried, but are glad I’m back and had a good time. We chatted for quite a while.

I haven’t been able to reach Jenny yet. I hope she’s been ok.

At 8 pm all my shows go on but of course, I’ll have to watch in the living room. If this TV conks out then I’ll be without a TV until my parents sell their house and give me theirs.

Nellie says she’s moving in February. Let’s hope so, although at this point it really doesn’t matter too much. Sometimes I wish she’d get the hell out and sometimes I just don’t care. But either way, I’m gonna get my money and she knows it. She says on the 13th or 14th she’ll give me $30. She better!

Right now I am watching Rags to Riches, and afterward, I shall watch Miami Vice.

Later…

Crystal is here now and she is trying on the clothes I gave her. She is so skinny. I’m so envious. I am a fucking whale compared to her.

Now she’s talking on the phone to Fran. She was pissed as all hell at him about him calling her at work, but now they’re chatting quite happily.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 7, 1988 I’m home now and I’m so tired! I’m starving too, so I’m gonna eat, then go to bed. I plan to write a lot tomorrow and I also want to do some laundry. I’m not even about to begin to do the rest of the unpacking.

I’m surprised I haven’t heard from the bastard downstairs. He’s quite lucky I haven’t, though.

Crystal, who’s out at the moment, left the place nice and neat. She’s quite lucky, too. Just a few minor things out of place. I knew, though, that she would never dust or vacuum. Too lazy to.

Later…

Got up at noon. I am so depressed now. I hate it here! I would rather be back in Florida with my parents, despite our differences. I totally hate it here!

I called Philip but got his girlfriend, Angie. She says she’ll talk to Philip, though I don’t see what he can do.

Crystal is singing like shit, as I wait for Kevin to come and take me grocery shopping. After that, I need to do laundry. I hate to think of seeing Kevin. I’m so sick of him. I explained to Crystal how he gets all nervous. Especially when he disagrees with something you’ve said.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 6, 1988 This morning I woke up a little after 6:00 after a series of strange dreams. Then I fell back asleep and woke up to my mother’s voice at 9:00. She and Dad were sitting at the table right outside the sliding glass door. Ma came over and teased me playfully for a while, then I got up and had a cup of coffee, made my bed and packed up. Right now my clothes are in the dryer. Ma washed them all for me. She’s in a good mood. I’m sure that’s cuz I’m leaving.

Ma and I are going to have lunch together today, then at 6:00, I take off. My cousin Philip will be picking me up at Bradley.

I intend to have a chat with Nellie about my money, and I just dare the bastard downstairs to open his mouth. One minute he’s civilized, the next he’s off on some drunken tangent. At least I know I won’t be there much longer.

I really did have a nice little vacation, although I wish the weather had been nicer.

Later…

Dad just went to get turkey club sandwiches for him and Ma and a cheeseburger for me. I’ve never eaten so much or been so hungry since I’ve been here. According to the scale where I was working out at the club, I weigh 116 pounds. Getting quite chunky. Oh well. I’ll lose it this summer like I usually do.

Now the sun’s out. Of course, it is. I’m leaving. If I stayed it would storm.

Dad put gas in the car so it’s ready for Ma and me.

I had run inside for a few minutes only to find Max, their poodle, playing with my socks.

I feel like I’m getting burned, but Ma wants me out here. She said it was good for me before she gave me a pair of sunglasses that are way too big. I believe she only wants me out here cuz she doesn’t like having me around. She had me visit out of a sense of duty, but I doubt her heart was really into the idea of it.

Later…

I just went for a bike ride and now I’m bored again.

I’ll miss Mom and Dad. I won’t be seeing them again till April.

Later…

I’m on the plane again. It doesn’t seem as bad as the other flight though. Yes, it’s loud but not as loud. I am on a smaller plane. A D-C9. The last plane was a 727. I’d like to fly a 747. My ear is blocked, as usual, but not as bad as the last time.

I hope they come around soon with coffee. God knows I could use some. I’ll be on this plane for hours.

You can barely see out the window because it’s dark and cloudy.

The noise and vibration of the engine sure are a pain in the ass but up front, you can’t smoke so I have to put up with it if I want to smoke.

Wow! Now I have a nice view down below. The clouds must’ve cleared. I can’t see too much in detail, though. Only the lights of the roads and houses. I can’t make out cars moving as I could flying in the daytime. The captain just said we’re over Orlando and we’re at 33,000 feet. Says it’s cold where we’re going.

Well, I guess I’ll continue writing in the other book. I’ve just about completed this one.

Later…

In this book, I’m still on the plane. It’s Wednesday and I won’t be arriving till 10:33. In 15 minutes it will be 8:00. We were supposed to take off at 6:15, but we didn’t till 6:30. I guess we arrive in Philly at 8:30 or so.

We do not get dinner, although they said so on the ticket. All we get is a snack. Here it comes now and boy does that coffee smell good.

The pilot just said we’re at 10,000 feet right over Dover, Delaware and it’s 15º!!! Yuck! No more warm weather for me. We’ll be landing in 15 minutes.

When I tell Kevin about my trip to Florida, I’m sure he won’t be interested and will interrupt me to yack only about himself like he usually does.

Later…

We are on the ground in Philly. It is freezing! It sucks! Now I have to wait till 9:40 before we take off again. I just asked the stewardess and she says the flight to Bradley is 52 minutes. Call it an hour, she said.

I look forward to seeing Philip. He’s like a big brother and I love him dearly.

Later…

Here I am flying again, although we will not be going up so high because it is a very short flight. I hope we get there shortly after 10:30. The captain says we’re at 19,000 feet and we’ll land in half an hour. It’s 12º at Bradley. Shit! I could see the snow before as we were landing.

They are getting ready to serve coffee now.

This is not a crowded flight but the last one was from West Palm Beach.

So, in Florida, I visited Stuart, Jensen Beach, St. Lucie and other places.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 5, 1988 So far today the weather has been awful. I fly back to Springfield tomorrow. I guess I’m ready because there’s not much to do here, and I miss my pigs and my stereo. I hope everything is ok at home. I’ll have to catch up on my singing. I’ve missed it, although I sang a little today. Very softly. My mom would get pissed if I sang louder than a whisper.

We all agreed that as soon as the house in Longmeadow sells (my folks want to move down here permanently), I will be moving. That should be within 4-6 months. I sure as hell can’t wait! Mom is going to be giving both me and Tammy the furniture. I shall be moving to a better area and into something that’ll hopefully have a dishwasher and an AC. Mom is going to start looking when she returns in April.

When I get home, I’ll be looking forward to seeing Crystal, Jenny, and Mary. Emily won’t be back from her own trip until the 12th. That was originally when I was supposed to return, but it’ll be tomorrow, the 6th.

MONDAY, JANUARY 4, 1988 Today is much cooler and breezier than yesterday. It looks like it’s been wanting to rain but it hasn’t yet.

Mom and Dad are now watching TV, something they do 90% of the time. Later, I guess we’ll be going out to dinner.

At about 9:30 this morning, I went to the pool. There was a cool breeze at that time, so when I got out of the water, I was chilled.

At lunchtime, I drove us all to the clubhouse for a hamburger and some fries.

When the mail came an hour after we ate, I drove Dad up to get it and to put my postcards and their mail in the mailbox. The funniest thing happened when I was preparing to drive us there though. I stepped on the gas to release the hill brake, and without realizing it I kept my foot on it and turned it on, put it in reverse, and man did we go flying out of that driveway! Dad was pissed, but I laughed my ass off.

Sure enough, I’m starting to get quite bored. I wish I could listen to my stereo! I live for listening to music several times a day. And I wish I had my guitar or keyboard, too.

I can’t believe it hasn’t rained yet. It sure looks like it will any minute.

They’re all so engrossed now in that stupid Discovery channel where they’re showing a special on India who plays this sickening music. How can anyone watch something so boring?

I should have brought my Spanish books, but I didn’t think to. Now would’ve been a great time to study.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 3, 1988 I’m here now and it is gorgeous! The weather is perfect. Not too hot, cool or humid. There’s one hell of a breeze here on Nettle’s Island where my parents live in a manufactured home. All the people here are around my parent’s age. I don’t think anyone here is under 55. There are no kids, either.

My mom just came out asking me to excuse her for being short cuz she’s had a really bad migraine. She has been kind of a nag, that’s for sure. You just can’t be yourself around her. Shit, I can’t even breathe around her.

My parent’s home is beautiful! Outside the back door is a canal, bringing the ocean right up to within just a few feet of the house. I’m sitting out on the dock right now, actually, as I write this.

Dad has an electric car. I drove it and it’s pretty cool. He and I went swimming today.

Later…

I am still enjoying myself, although my mother is quite a pain in the ass and very bossy.

We went to a really nice buffet with everything - fish, chicken, macaroni, all kinds of veggies, salad, and soups. They had Mexican, Italian and American foods. You can make your own sundae, too.

After dinner Dad took a little nap while Mom and I watched some TV. Then we went to a different pool in the electric car. It was so nice! There was a Jacuzzi, too. Then we all took showers, came home and watched Crocodile Dundee on the VCR. Now I am going to read before crashing for the night.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 2, 1988 I’m finally on the plane now. At first, we didn’t think I’d make it here. Eastern was canceled. I’m now flying Continental but we’re delayed by an hour. The last time I was in Florida I was just a baby, therefore, this is really like my first time. It’s hard to write neatly when the plane hits air pockets. It’s dark out there so I can’t really see too much. I have been flying since 1:30. The stewardess says we won’t arrive in West Palm Beach until 7:30. I know I will be exhausted as I’ve been up since 3:30 this morning. I’m sitting right next to the engine and it’s so damn loud that my ear will be ringing all night.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 1, 1988 Tomorrow I’m gone! I can’t wait to get the hell away. Crystal and Kevin are going to take care of the pigs and the mail. Tomorrow I just have a few last-minute things to do then I’m gone!

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gilthairpins · 6 months ago

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Book 1 Chapter 16: Falling Flowers Fade With Water

Because of the injury on my foot, I have difficulty moving and rely on Yutan for everything. Yutan would set up the stove for me every day and put out food, and then go about her business.

I was 30% injured and 70% lazy. I didn’t want to move at all. I could sit motionless all day, staring at the smoke from the stove. I could also stare at a book for a long time without reading a page. I often picked up a brush and want to practice calligraphy, but I could only focus on grinding the ink. By the time I would realize it, I would have an ink stone full of ink and no desire to pick up the brush.

Yutan said that Eighth hadn’t gone to court due to a cold. I felt a pain in my heart after hearing this. The food in my mouth became hard as pig iron and difficult to swallow, so I put down my bowl and chopsticks. It turned out you couldn’t completely cut off your feelings even if there was a dagger in your heart.

Had he caught a cold from the wind that day or was it later? Was he freezing in the snow? Was it serious? While I was trying to tell myself his affairs had nothing to do with me from now on, my thoughts inadvertently kept going back.

Sitting on the couch length-wise, I leaned against a cushion in a daze. The door was pushed open with a loud bang. I sat up in shock to see Fourteenth’s icy face. He glared at me and walked closer. I sighed secretly and leaned back, unconsciously looking at the ground.

He stood next to the couch and grabbed my arm fiercely. I was forced upright, but my eyes didn’t move, still focused on the ground. He asked coldly, “What is going on? Why?!” His grip became stronger and squeezed painfully as he asked.

“Let me go.” I looked up and said calmly.

He nodded and sneered at me. “You’re so calm. Don’t you feel any heartache? Or are you not feeling sad at all? Do you even have a heart?”

I not have a heart?! I wish I didn’t have a heart! I reached out to remove his hand from me, but his grip tightened further. I gave a low hum and couldn’t help shouting, “It hurts! Let me go!”

“It will still hurt. Will it let you know the pain of others? The pain of gaining and losing is worse than the pain of never getting. Now that things are like this, why did you ever agree in the first place? Who are you playing tricks on? You are so cruel! Or is it just watery? [suspect he meant illusionary]” He pinched me all the more fiercely.

I hit his arm with my hand and shouted, “Let go! Did you even hear me? I told you to let go. Who are you? Why should you care about my affairs?”

He snorted coldly, “Who am I? Let’s make things clear today. Let’s talk about it, if you are reasonable. If you can’t come up with an answer I want you to sober up. See if I take care of your affairs.”

I was extremely angry. In the end he was a young master and I was just the slave. I was already very sad and had been holding it in for the last few days. Now I was angry and in pain. I couldn’t bear it any more.

“Let go! Let go!” I cried while beating at his arm, hard. Tears fell one after another.

While we were entangled a low voice called lightly from the door, “Fourteenth!”

I looked over with tears still in my eyes and saw Thirteenth and Fourth standing just outside the door, one behind the other. Thirteenth looked surprised and Fourth had an indifferent look on his face as he quietly watched his brother.

“Fourteenth, what kind of drama are you singing? It was unlucky of us to come?” Thirteenth smiled walking a few steps forward into the room.

I shook my arm trying to throw off Fourteenth, but while his grip had loosened, he still held on firmly. Fourteenth faced Thirteenth coldly, who just smiled in return. He had glanced at Fourteenth’s hand holding my arm and looked back over at him with an ambiguous look.

“We just got back from visiting E’Niang. [mother] E’Niang was thinking of you. If you have time, go and greet her.” Fourth entered and said calmly.

Fourteenth suddenly let me go and I pulled away from him, rubbing my arm gently. He bent down staring me up and down and then smiled close to my head. “I’ll be seeing you in a few days when I have time.”

Still shocked and angry, I just smiled at Fourth and Thirteenth made my leave taking gesture and turned to walk out. I wiped my sleeves and glanced at Thirteenth awkwardly, holding the edge of the couch to try to stand. I wanted to greet them properly.

“It’s not convenient with your legs. Don’t worry.” He waved me off.

After hearing this, I settled back more comfortably. I bowed slightly “Thirteenth is auspicious and Fourth is auspicious. This servant has limited mobility and cannot serve tea to the two gentlemen. Please grant some tolerance.”

Thirteenth casually sat on a nearby chair and leaned against the back. “Please tell us the ins and outs of this scene and we won’t argue with you any more.”

I was stunned for a while. My heart ached and tears welled in my eyes. I turned my back quickly to wipe them dry.

“Okay, okay, I won’t ask anymore.” Thirteenth sighed.

I turned back and gave him a bitter smile. He was quiet a while and said with a solemn look, “If Fourteenth is really giving you a hard time, just come tell me and maybe I can help resolve it.”

I steeled myself and smiled at him gratefully. “It’s not a big deal. It was just a temporary dispute. As you know, we’ve been quarreling since young. So we can just get over it.”

“If you don’t want to say it, don’t force it. But if you do encounter difficulties, don’t suffer alone. I may not be able to solve them, but I can come up with ideas to help solve problems.” He shrugged his shoulders.

I nodded and he tilted his head to smile. “If that doesn’t work, go to your brother in law to complain. Although my fourteenth brother is a bit stubborn he will listen to what Mynah says.”

I was frightened in my heart, but didn’t dare show a trace of it on my face. I shot a quick glance at Fourth who held his usual expression.

“I’m afraid the person who was scolded will complain first. So I’d better save it.” After saying this, I didn’t want to be here anymore. Continuing on the matter, I smiled and changed topics. “Thank you for coming to see me. I also wanted to thank you for last time.”

Thirteenth smiled and didn’t reply.

“How is your foot recovering?” Fourth asked.

“The imperial doctor said it was an injured muscle, but not a serious problem. It only needs time to recover.” I turned over.

After hearing this, Fourth looked over at Thirteenth. “Go back.”

Thirteenth nodded and stood to leave. Something moved in my heart and I quickly called out to him. Both he and Fourth paused and waited for my next words. I frowned, embarrassed, not sure where to go from there. It was harder to speak with Fourth still here.

Fourth glanced between us and said, “I’ll leave for the palace first.”

Thirteenth grabbed him. “I don’t hide my affairs from you. If you have anything to say, just tell me.” He glanced back at me.

Seeing this, I originally wanted to say ‘forget it’, but now I have no choice. So I had to laugh and say, “I wanted to ask you something.”

I motioned for them to sit back down. “I’m not worried about Fourth. I just didn’t know how to speak so I was a bit hesitant.”

After they both sat down, they turned their attention to me. I tighten my lips and looked at Thirteenth with a smile.

“I went beyond the Great Wall with the Emperor and met with Minmin gege”

Thirteenth startled and frowned slightly. Fourth turned and gave him a smile. I looked at Thirteenth’s furrowed brows and felt a little cold.

“Are you…. …. To her?” My question was cut off as he stood up. Fourth took a sip and smiled at me. He then fixed his gaze back on Thirteenth.

“Let’s go!” Thirteenth said to him wanting to leave. But Fourth just sat there, not getting up. He continued to sit in the chair not moving. He reached out a hand to hold him.

“You haven’t replied yet. Why are you in such a hurry to leave?” He smiled.

Thirteenth jumped and glanced at me before looking back to Fourth. “The situation has changed too fast. It’s my turn to sing in a short while. Did you see it?” He said with a wry smile.

He returned to his chair. I covered my mouth to hide a smile. It turned out there was something that would make Thirteenth run away.

Thirteenth leaned back in the chair lazily. “Ask me. Isn’t it such an idea? It’s worth holding on to me.”

“You must know Minmin’s thoughts even if you haven’t said it yet. What about you?” I suppressed a smile and sighed.

“Has she made it clear to you?” He asked. I nodded.

Thirteenth brother went silent, lost in thought. He stared at the book on the table and said, “There are many good men on the grassland, so she doesn’t need to worry about me in vain.”

For a moment everyone was silent. In fact this was not unexpected. Although Minmin is good, I’m afraid that she is not what Thirteenth wants. I understand. Thinking about her bright smile under the starry sky on the grassland. Thinking that from now on she will know that although she is a princess there are still things in this world that she will never get. Thinking about about her possible heartbreak and dusty… Jaiorong is still very sad!

I couldn’t help but say, “Minmin gege is a very good person.”

“How come you, a sensible person, speak nonsense? She is just a fairy. If she doesn’t care about me, why bother saying more?”

“Falling flowers are intentional, flowing water is ruthless.” I sighed softly to myself and murmured.

“Let’s go.” Thirteenth stood again.

Fourth got up and left after him. I quickly got up to see him off. After Fourth went out, he turned around to close the door for me.

He said, “Although it is not a serious illness, you should still take care of yourself. The most important thing is to get rid of the root cause of the disease.”

I was about to raise my head to say ‘thank you’, but the door was already closed.

The injury on my foot had not yet healed and it was already the last day of the 48th year of Kangxi’s reign. I leaned on the couch and watched the dancing candlelight. There was no joy or sorrow left to speak of. It’s just a matter of living, one day at a time.

Just as I was sitting there, Yutan pushed open the door with cold air and put a food box on the table. Quickly turning around to close the door she shrunk her neck shouting, “It’s so cold!”

“Aren’t you waiting in the front today?” I asked in confusion. “Why are people coming back from the banquet before it’s over?”

While rubbing her hands before the stove, she looked at me with a smile. “I specifically asked Li Xuanda to let Qiuchen take my place. Anyway, she just wanted to join in on the fun.”

Every year at the New Year’s Eve banquet, those who serve out front receive some rewards. And they would have the opportunity to see people and things that are normally impossible to see on ordinary days. So it’s a good job that everyone likes.

In order to accompany me, Yutan went out of her way to do this. In my heart I was moved. I sighed.

“I don’t feel lonely if I stay by myself. So why should I ask Li Xuanda for this? It’s a favor I owe you in vain.”

She warmed her hands and grabbed the food box and opened it with a smile. “I have prepared some delicious food. Tonight we will eat and drink and have a good new year! Isn’t this more comfortable and happier than waiting for others?”

She placed the cups and plates on the table on top of the kang [bed], and added a handful of lilly incense to the incense burner. The two of us were half leaning on the soft cushions eating and drinking together.

After a while, I couldn’t hold back and pretended casualness and asked, “Has my sister entered the palace?”

Yutan lowered her head to eat. “Well, there was also Eighth. He seems to be in low spirits and there was no color to his face. Probably because he has not recovered from his illness.”

I picked up the wine and raised my neck, drinking it down hard. I choked a bit and turned my head. I drank again and coughed hard.

The two of us were eating and chatting. I wanted to drink more wine, but Yutan only drank a few cups with me and put the flask away.

“My sister is not yet recovered, so it is better to drink less. Some is okay as long as there is a festive meaning.”

“You’re starting to take care of me.” I laughed.

Yutan smiled and made a face at me as she served a bowel of beef bone soup. “Drink this.”

After the meal we huddled on the kang and continued chatting for a while. We didn’t bother to keep up with New Year’s Eve. After the food was done, we rested. I hadn’t slept well last night because I was still worried about something. Because Yutan had Qiuchen take over her shift, she went out early in the morning to take Qiuchen’s place on duty.

Hearing the sound of Yutan closing the door, I got up quickly. After washing properly, I opened a box and took out letters from years past. I lightly ran a finger over each letter and stared at them for a long time. I wanted to open and read them again, but I was cruel and decided to wrapped them all in rice paper. My eyes landed on the magnolia necklace pressed into the bottom of the box and I took it out. After thinking for a while, I returned to the table and picked up a pen to write a letter. I don’t want to waste time thinking about the words from Classical Chinese articles, so I just write whatever comes to mind. Anyway, I want him to understand.

The slave is just an ordinary woman. After reading the handwriting and letters of this slave Fourth should have know she was not talented in literature. She may be passable in appearance, but there are so many girls with outstanding looks in the Forbidden City that even the slaves are not top notch. Now this slave is serving the emperor wholeheartedly. When she is old and is released from the palace, this slave will leave on her own. This slave has no intention to get married in this lifetime. In the past, this slave acted erratically and lacked consideration, causing many misunderstandings to the prince. I can only kneel down to the prince and beg for forgiveness. Since this slave has made up her mind to be alone and not marry, there is no need for the prince to waste time on this slave.

After I finished writing I re-read it carefully. I thought about it and then tore it up and wrote again,

… … When the old slave is released from the palace, this slave will leave on her own. E Niang [her mother] died early because she gave birth to this slave and she has often regretted that she could not fulfill her filial piety in this life. This slave has no intention on getting married in this life, she only wants to accompany the green lantern to the ancient Buddha, chant sutras and pray for her mother. In the past, this slave has caused the prince…

I took out an envelope and put the letter and necklace inside. I stared at all the things on the table with an indifferent expression. If they come, everything will be returned; if they don’t come, then I will it let go and find another opportunity to pay them back. Suddenly I thought of the bracelet on my hand and quickly tried to take it off. I tried several times and failed. Touching the jade bracelet I felt heartbroken.

There was a gentle knock on the door. I quickly gathered my thoughts and stood up. I was thinking about whether this would be Xiao Shunzi or Fang He. I opened the door.

“Good luck, girl!” Fang He said neatly as he stood, taking a letter out from his sleeve. I took it with a smile.

“A moment, gong-gong. I have something I would trouble you to hand over.”

Fang He was a bit stunned and nodded in agreement. I entered the room and stared blankly at the letter in my hand for a while. I opened the rice paper package on the table and placed the unopened letter in with the others and wrapped them again, sealing the package with paste.

I turned and left the room and handed the package to Fang He. “I am sorry to trouble you.” Fang He put the paper package away and said with an apologetic smile, “No trouble! No trouble at all!” After that, he paid his respects and hurried away.

I stood still, leaning against the doorframe, watching his figure disappear. I repeated over and over again in my heart: ‘From now on, there will be no relationship. From now on, there will be no relationship…’

Xiao Shunzi didn’t appear until lunch time. That’s good, I had thought to myself. He had put his hand away. Everything was quiet from then on. Just as I was thinking of a way to return the necklace to him [Fourth] there was a knock on the door. I sighed in my heart and went to answer the door.

Xiao Shunzi greeted me with a smile. “I’m here to give something to the girl.”

I took it with a smile and said, “Please wait a moment gong-gong. I have some things I would like you to help pass on.” After saying this, I retreated into the room, leaving the door ajar.

Opening a long and narrow box in my hand I found a suet-fat hosta that was crystal clear and seemed to have some flowing waves. The entire hosta was carved into a blooming magnolia. I was too lazy to look on it further and tossed it into the original envelope and sealed it carefully. I gave it to Xiao Shunzi when I returned. Seeing him take it, I turned and closed the door.

With my back against the door, it took a long time before I came back to my senses. Thinking that on the first day of the new year, everything would be over. Take a deep breath and wave your fists and shout to yourself: ‘New year! New look!’

After shouting at myself, I decided to start cleaning up the room. Since I am alive I should try to make myself live a better life. It’s okay to be sad for a while when love fails. And it’s okay to be decadent for a while, but it’s not necessary to spend your whole life with a man who didn’t choose you. You can’t live a black life from now on. My body is only eighteen years old. There is no love, and there are many other things.

In a few years I will be old enough to be released from the palace. After leaving, I can go to Saibei [a region north of the Great Wall] to watch the desert sunset and go to Jiangnan to watch the misty rain. I have always wanted to travel to the Qinghai- Tibet plateau and Yunnan, but I couldn’t achieve it. In modern times you had time but not money, and here you have the money, but not the time. Now that I have a lot of money I can squander it for a while just by selling a set of jewelry. Why not take this opportunity to live the ideal wandering life?

Since I had came to ancient times, I had been wandering around the Forbidden City. From now on, I could laugh at the wind and moon, lie down and watch the world of mortals, travel all over the country and make friends with heros all over the world. Wouldn’t it be comfortable? There are many interesting things ahead. While thinking about it I smiled and kept tidying up the room with my hands and feet, but tears still fell down one by one from the corners of my eyes and I couldn’t stop them.

In the afternoon of February, the warm sunshine made the house feel bright and clear. I sat at the table and flipped through Su Dongpo’s “Ciyun Cao Fu sends He Yuan to trial baking a new tea” and “Testing Yuan Sencha”. Yutan sat on the couch embroidering a handkerchief. The two of us were quietly working on the things on hand and a leisurely and tranquil atmosphere flowed through the room.

Yutan put down the handkerchief and walked to the table to change a cup of tea for me and then herself. She looked at me with a smile and said, “People who can read and write are different.”

I was reading with my mouth full and without raising my head. I asked casually, “Why is it different?”

She stood next to me. “Sister is always calm and relaxed. It is said sister Yunxiang and the others are better than sister. My sister entered the palace first and she is older. And her background isn’t low. But if you stand next to sister anyone with a discerning eye will know at a glance your rank.”

I put my book down and took a sip of tea. I glanced at her with a smile. “Don’t just be nice. Ask if you have any serious matters.”

Yutan laughed for a while before asking, “Who will the emperor take with him to Mount Wutai this time?”

“It turns out someone is worried about not being taken out to play.” I pursed my lips and smiled.

“It’s rare for the emperor to go to Mount Mutai the last time was in the forty-first year, years ago. If I miss this opportunity, I wonder if there will be a next time.” She pursed her lips as well.

I picked up the book again with another smile. “I can’t make a decision on this matter. But if Li Shunda asks I will definitely recommend you.”

“Good sister, thank you very much!” Yutan said with a smile and turned back to the couch to start embroidering again.

I was looking at the book but also thinking that at this time Kangxi went to Mount Wutai and ordered the prince, Third, Eighth, Tenth, Thirteenth and Fourteenth to follow him. I won’t go, if I can help it. I’ll stay as far away as possible.

There were more opportunities to meet outside the palace. Although everything has since passed, I still can’t really treat him as a stranger. I need time to dilute everything and let the ripples of the past calm down.

Then I thought of Fourth. Originally I was worried about Fourth’s reaction to the letter, but now it seems that he didn’t have any reaction. He must have been calm. ‘Thank God’ I muttered in my heart.

On the second day that Kangxi went to court several brothers came back with him, including the prince, Fourth, Fifth, Eighth, Ninth, Tenth, Thirteenth, and Fourteenth. The Nuan Pavillon is not too small, but there were many people and it felt crowded. And it was lively. After all, Kangxi was old and had been siting on the dragon throne for a long time. Occasionally, he would be greedy for this kind of crowd and lively life.

When I went in to serve tea, I heard several of the brothers laughing and talking about their last trip to Mount Wutai. Kangxi had a particularly kind expression on his face. I put a teacup lightly on the table. Kangxi picked it up and lifted the lid to take a sip.

“When we went to Mount Wutai last time, Ruoxi hadn’t entered the palace yet, right?” He looked at me with a smile.

I bowed and smiled. “Exactly. I entered the palace in the forty-fourth year. A pity it was three years too late.”

Kangxi looked over at Li Dequan and said, “Will you take her with you this time?”

Li Dequan glanced at me and I quickly replied, “Because I haven’t been in good health recently I had taken a leave of absence for a period of time. Although I can move around now, there won’t be as many people to help me when away from the palace. So I am worried I wouldn’t be able to take good care of you. So I specifically asked Li Shuda to choose another capable person.”

Kangxi glanced at me thoughtfully and sighed. “She has been ill for so long, and now she cannot even wear clothes. Let her stay in the palace then.” He told Li Dequan.

I quickly knelt down and kowtowed. “Thank you for your grace, your majesty.”

“Take good care of yourself. Let Wangxi handle what you want to eat. Get ready quickly otherwise you won’t have the energy to serve me properly. In the past there were always new ideas in the teas and cakes made. Do not mention new ideas now. Even your usual answers are not as clever as before. Seeing as you are not in good spirits, I will not punish you.” After saying this he raised his hand asking me to get up.

I held the tea tray and bowed my head to exit. When I passed the beaded curtain I couldn’t help but turn my head to glance at Eighth. He was sitting quietly, eyes lowered. His figure looking extremely thin. Though there were people talking in the hall, he couldn’t hide his loneliness. Feeling sour in my heart I turned around and left quickly.

Kangxi took the elder brothers to Mount Wutai. When the emperor left, he left as well. I didn’t need to worry about accidentally bumping into him again. I also didn’t have to worry about the pain and helplessness I occasionally feel when I see him.

But it turns out that leaving cannot make me forget. When I look up inadvertently I will suddenly pass by a familiar picture; always when I chuckle I will accidentally flash his smile. Although I would immediately choose to ignore it and turn a blind eye, my mood is already gloomy. Reason can control actions, but it cannot control mood. When can I truly forget and be calm?

Peaceful days always pass extremely quick. The handkerchiefs I had spent my time embroidering had not yet been completed and Kangxi had returned from Mount Wutai. Goodbye Eighth. He looked much better than when he first left Beijing. When I greeted him, he smiled like the breeze. His eyes were gentle and raised his hand casually to let me get up.

He took it lightly and let go, I thought sadly. Maybe it was because of the scenery in the mountains that makes people forget about worldly things. Maybe it’s because he has no more time and energy to waste on his children’s personal affairs. Everything is over for him! Isn’t this exactly what I wanted? Why was I feeling confused?

I understood in my heart, but I didn’t want to explain it to myself. I just hope in time.

Spring has arrived. The grass and trees in the imperial garden are blooming. Everything is full of vitality. On the days I am not on duty I often go to the imperial garden to walk. I walk along the cobblestone paths slowly. When I could clearly see the oncoming person, I had lost track of how many attempts to dodge, I quickly retreated to the side of the path.

I bowed my head and said, “Auspicious Bei’le.”

“Get up.” He said gently to me.

I stood quickly keeping my head down. He had no intention of leaving. I wanted to retreat but couldn’t open my mouth.

“Fourth will not trouble you anymore.” He said slowly and still gentle. I couldn’t tell the difference between joy and sorrow in my heart. I just stood there quietly, not knowing how to reply.

“What did you mean by what you said last time? Long Keduo, Nian Gengyao, and Li Wei- I vaguely understand, but Wu Sidao and Tian Jingwen I don’t understand.”

I thought about it for a moment and spoke tentatively, “Is there a person beside Fourth who has inconvenient legs? That would be Wu Sidao.”

He simply replied, “No.”

My first reaction was that I had been fooled by the tv series “Yongzheng Dynasty” just as I was standing stunned he continued, “There is no such person as Tian Jingwen in the court, but there is a person named Tian Wenjing.”

“That’s Tian Wenjing. I remembered it wrong.” I quickly said.

“When did we start talking about these unrelated people and things?” He asked with a smile. There was some confusion still in his eyes.

I was stunned for a bit. “Anyway, just pay more attention. Where to start? I don’t know where to start now.” After that I quickly turned to leave.

He was quiet a moment before saying softly, “Go.”

As I walked back, I cursed the screenwriter and myself for making things up and being irresponsible! I have a bad memory and will remember the names wrongly!

Send spring away and welcome summer. In order to escape the summer heat, Kangxi moved into Changchun Garden, in the northwest suburbs of Beijing, and I went with him.

In the 10th year of Xianfeng Dynasty, after the British and French forces invaded Beijing, they carried out a large scale looting and destruction of the surrounding royal gardens. It was praised by later generations as the first royal garden that “avoided noise and listened to politics” — Changchun Garden. There was no way to escape the bad luck. And all the buildings and gardens were burned down. In the blink of an eye a generation of famous royal gardens were burnt to the ground. I never thought that I, a person born in the 20th century, could actually see with my own eyes this garden that was infinitely admired by later generations of architects.

Changchun garden means spring at all times, eight winds come to visit, and six qi are accessible. The scenery in the garden is natural and elegant. Quoting the description of Changchun garden from the history books: “The wall is less than 10 foot high, the green inside the garden is dull, and the red flowers are brilliant. The earth is flat and lumpy, but there are no strange peaks and rocks. The pavilions are elegant and plain there is no algae on the paint and carvings.”

There are many exotic flowers and plants in Changchun garden, different from the imperial palace. And the flowers bloom continuously all year round. The lotus flowers in the pond are in bud and have just bloomed, showing their unique charm.

I strolled causally along the pond and admired the lotus blooms. Weaving around the rockeries, promenades, and small bridges we walked to a lakeside planted with weeping willows. The slender branches drooped straight into the lake and connected with the shadows. There was a small bridge next to it, connecting to an undulating rockery. The water flowed from under the bridge to the lake. Water splashes ding-ding-dong-dong. Because rockeries, willows, and arches are surrounded by bridges the outside view is cut off, making this a small world of its own.

I looked at the scenery around me and thought that this would be a good place. I happened to be a little tired so I sat by the lake, playing with the water. Suddenly I heard a noise beside me. I turned to see Fourth, dressed in blue, amongst the weeping willows. It was obvious that he had come before me because the branches were luxuriant and hanging to the ground. He happened to be wearing clothes of similar colors and blended behind the branches so I didn’t notice.

At this time he pushed aside the branches and I saw him. I just looked at him blankly, startled. He also watched me silently. After a while, I realized what I was doing and quickly said hello.

He asked me to get up as he walked out from underneath the willow branches and patted off the broken leaves from my body. Since returning the chain on the first day of the new year, he has had no response in more than four months. He treats me just like everyone else.

We have never gotten along in private. Now that I was suddenly facing him alone, I couldn’t help but feel nervous. I forced myself to talk to him calmly. I bowed and excused myself. He didn’t seem to hear anything and walked to the bridge pier, bent down, and pulled out a small boat from below. It was exquisite but a little old.

“How did the prince know there was a boat there?” I had nothing to say.

While playing in the boat he said, “When I was fourteen years old, I lived in the garden with Royal Father. I liked the tranquility of this lake very much, so I ordered someone to put it here.” He stood up and glanced at me. He motioned for me to get into the boat.

I was stunned and looked at him doubtfully. “Are you sure that this boat can still be used?”

He glanced at me again and ignored me, getting into the boat. He sat in the boat and watched me quietly. His eyes were calm and couldn’t be refused. I hesitated and wanted to leave, but I knew it would be rejected. So I stood there a long time.

He didn’t care and kept waiting quietly. Finally he stretched out his waist and said casually, “I’ll sleep first and you can think about it slowly! Call me when you make a decision!” With that he planned to lay down in the boat.

I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth as I got into the boat. Since I couldn’t hide, I had no choice but to let him go. Was I still afraid that he would eat me? He glanced at me with my gritted teeth and shook his head with a smile. I lowered my head and reached the shore of the lake with my oar and the boat swayed away.

The further away from the shore, the denser the lotus leaves became. His back was turned, so the lotus leaves brushed past his back but didn’t hurt him. He saw I was a bit embarrassed and said with a smile, “I used to lie down on the boat, why don’t you lie down too?”

I didn’t say anything as I was busy dodging lotus leaves. He rowed to a place , stopped, and picked up the oar to break a few lotus stems and leaves next to the boat. He then put the oar away and leaned back closing his eyes to rest. I was looking everywhere. Everything was the dense green of lotus leaves. At first I felt I had fallen into a green world and I had no idea where I was.

It was extremely quiet all around, the only sound was the breeze blowing past the leaves. I glanced at Fourth. His face was upturned and had an extremely relaxed expression under the cover of the lotus leaf shade. Without any of his usual coldness. His enjoyment infected me and the initial unease and nervousness slowly dissipated. I followed his example and leaned back, resting my head on the stern and closed my eyes.

Although there were lotus leaves overhead to block the sun I still felt it was too bright. I got up again to pick a lotus leaf I had just interrupted and dipped it into the water a few moments and put it on my face casually and closed my eyes.

I only feel the fragrance of the lotus leaves at the tip of my nose, slowly refreshing my heart and mind as I breathe. The boat swayed lightly with the waves as if in the clouds.My heart gradually calmed down with the surrounding silence. The cool air on the water and the warmth of the sun intertwined just right. Neither hot nor cold.

I was a little anxious at first, moving the lotus leaf from time to time to look at him secretly. But seeing him keep his eyes closed, my mood gradually relaxed and my body and mind became calm in this wonderful summer afternoon. Even my pores seemed to be slightly opened, greedily enjoying the sunshine, breeze, fragrance, and water’s waves without any distraction.

While I was half asleep I suddenly felt the boat shake violently a few times. I startled and quickly removed the leaf from my eyes. I saw Fourth had changed his position and was sitting next to my legs leaning against the side of the boat and watching me.

I quickly sat up but when I saw that our faces were very close I leaned back. He saw me moving and couldn’t help a smile on his lips. His eyes were gentle and clear. I had never seen them like that before. My mind was fluctuating and my face felt hot.

I would rather him look at me with his cold gaze so I could think clearly, but his gentleness confused me completely. Just like a cold winter, nice weather can make you feel extra warm, but you don’t know how to dress for a while.

I looked back calmly and our gazes intertwined and it seemed like there were a lot of things added to those usually cold eyes which made people want to explore and they were inexplicably sinking.

Unknowingly I had forgotten I wanted to use my eyes to signal him to divert his attention and I just stared at him in confusion. Shocked, I closed my eyes, not daring to look anymore. Even though I had closed my eyes, I could still feel his gaze lingering on my face. I was scared in my heart and I felt that I couldn’t let him look at me like this any more. I quickly picked up the lotus leaf and covered my face.

“You’re not allowed to look at me like that again.” I shouted in a low voice.

He laughed softly when he heard me. This was the first time I had heard his laughter. It was rustling and muffled. I couldn’t tell what it felt like, but it was completely fresh. Laughter is not an easy thing. After all, I wanted to hear this cold faced prince.

He reached out his hand to remove the leaf from my face. I held it tighter to my face with one hand and used the other to fend off his reaching hand. With a backhanded squeeze, he grabbed my hand as I tried to pull away.

“Remove the leaf and I will let go.” He said.

“Then you cannot look at me like you did just now.” I immediately replied.

He responded in a low voice and I hesitated again before removing the leaf off my head. He was still in the same posture as before, leaning on the side of the boat and tilted his head to look at me, but now my hand was in his other hand. I frowned at him and quickly glanced at him and then away.

“A gentleman’s words are hard to follow.” He let go of my hand and after a bit I felt his gaze had turned away.

I turned back to him and said, “You move back a little. I want to sit up.” I thought we would have negotiated again, but he unexpectedly moved back after hearing this. Although it wasn’t as far away, it wasn’t as ambiguous as before. I was a little surprised he was so easy to talk to. I sat up straight.

We both sat quietly. I don’t know why, but I didn’t feel as joyful as I had earlier. I felt that there was something else flowing in our silence. I quickly interrupted the surrounding silence.

“Do you often lie here to rest?” I asked.

“It’s not often. Maybe a few times. However I do check the condition of the boat every year.” He said.

“I see that you like it here very much. Why do you only come occasionally?” I asked.

He pursed his lips tightly after hearing this. The gentle expression fading away from his face slowly returning to his usual stern expression. After a while he said softly, “Indulging in the beautiful scenery will only mess up your mind.”

After saying that he picked up the oar and started paddling back. This time he asked me to turn my back to the oncoming lotus. He didn’t dodge the lotus leaves that were coming towards him and let them hit his head, face, and body. He just rowed steadily forward without any hesitation or delay.

I had mixed feeling in my heart. I sighed. He was the Yong prince Yinzhen again!

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too-many-blorbos · 1 year ago

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Short Story for Spoopy Month: "A Halfway Haunt"

“It’s all fake, Jay. There’s nothing in here that can scare you.”

Lies. Even from the waiting room, he’d seen the flickering lights and heard the creepy music. His mother had insisted on coming here. “We have to do something spooky for the holiday!” she’d claimed. But she was no fan of fright either, which is why she’d settled on this place: a daylight walkthrough of a haunted house. Enjoy the creepy atmosphere without fear of lunging actors or jumpscaring animatronics. Great for kids. Bring the whole family.

But you didn’t need actors to be scary. So what if no one was popping up and shouting “Boo!”? It was still dark. It was still foggy. The fake corpses and skeletons still looked eerily real as he passed by them. Even if no costumed horrors were around, his imagination conjured phantoms to take their place. At least they were allowed flashlights, but that only made it easier to see the gorey details around them.

“You’ll be okay,” A gentle voice assured him from up ahead. “I’ll go first, so if anything attacks, it’ll get me first and you can run away.”

The voice belonged to a girl who’d tagged along with them–younger than Jay’s parents, but probably a grown-up. She’d met them in line and asked to join their party. She felt safer in a pack, she said. She looked out of place in the haunted house, with her pink hair and cartoon T-shirt, but she was determined to get through nonetheless. “If you can do it, I can do it, little man,” she’d told Jay, offering a fistbump. He hadn’t caught her name, but he was glad for her presence. She’d volunteered right away to lead them, scouting ahead and reporting back on the terrors up ahead. It was easier to face the fear when he had fair warning.

The group approached a room lit with fog and green lasers. Something about it made Jay shudder. He dug in his heels. “I’m not going in.”

The girl didn’t want to either. She tensed up and stopped when they saw the door. It spooked her too.

But she squared her shoulders and stepped through the curtain. The light of her flashlight bobbed among the fog. “It’s fine,” she called back. “The room’s empty. Look, they used fog and lasers so it feels like we’re wading through water. Isn’t that cool?” It WAS cool. Jay clung to his mother as they walked through. The movement made the smoke stir and swirl in lazy circles around them. It looked like the swirling surface of a murky pond.

Scary. But cool.

“Just through here now.” The girl held open the door to the next section. They passed through the undersea grotto, into an abandoned mine, and then into a farm full of sinister scarecrows. Jay averted his eyes whenever their flashlights illuminated a gruesome feature. And there were many–a man impaled on a spike, a desiccated body, a giant crocodile head. The worst parts were the “in between” parts, where you had to squeeze past props or walk narrow halls to get to the next section. He buried himself in his hoodie every time they came to one. But whenever he refused to continue, the girl stepped in. She pushed aside dangling pig heads for them and held back blood-splattered curtains. Once she noticed his aversion to gore, she started warning him of bloody parts. And she chattered. She asked him questions and revealed the house’s secrets as they went.

“This bridge is built over sponges so it feels unsteady. And that bottomless pit is just a mirror floor, see? It’s an illusion.”

“Look here, it’s the hydraulics that make the croc head bite and snap. They’re usually hidden, but you can see them now!”

“The vanishing specter is a Pepper’s Ghost, they use that at Disneyland. It’s a mannequin lit up and reflected with a mirror!”

“Oooh, I remember this part! It’s not scary. Turn your lights off, they’ll spoil the effect.”

“How often have you been here?” Jay’s mother asked as they shuffled down a star-specked tunnel that spun around them and made Jay’s head spin.

“Just twice,” the girl admitted. “And the second time didn’t really count. I got so scared in the waiting room that I panicked and ran. Drove home as fast as I could.”

Jay didn’t blame her. This place was freaky even now, it must be nightmarish on a proper haunting night. He cringed as they passed a glowing coffin. The girl gave him a smile, scarcely visible in the dim light.

“You’re doing great, little man. We’re almost through. Oh look, a dragon!!! Do you like dragons?”

It got worse at the end. Fluorescent paint pulsed under strobe lights as they fumbled their way through a maze. His eyes hurt by the time they exited into a somewhat less searing room. He was rubbing the flashes from his eyes when he heard his dad speak.

“Where’s your mother?”

Jay whipped around. His dad was beside him but his mother was gone. Lost in the maze. His stomach churned, his heart hammered against his ribs. They’d have to go back in for her. What if they couldn’t find her? What if they got lost again and he had to spend another eternity in that torture chamber of light and sound?!

“It’s okay. I’ll find her.” The girl vanished again. He heard her calling in the other room. More patrons stumbled out the door, but his mother was not among them.

And then she was. She breathed a sigh of relief on escaping the maze and hurried to join her husband and son. Jay gripped her hands tight. “That was scary. Are you ready to leave?”

Jay nodded.

Luckily, the nightmare was nearing its end. After a few more obstacles, they finally stepped into an empty hall. The girl stood at the end, silhouetted by daylight. She turned and grinned at Jay, pointing around the corner. He almost fainted when he saw the exit sign there. “You made it through, little man.” The girl held up a hand for a high five. Jay slapped it, arms weak with relief. “Wasn’t that cool?”

It was, despite all the fear, cool. With the sun shining on him again, the terrors in his memories felt less real and more like the props that they were. And he’d learned things. The next time he went through a haunted house, he’d be able to spot where the scarers were hiding and what tricks they used to frighten him. That would make it easier.

Jay’s parents beelined for the souvenir photo booth. Jay spotted the girl walking off. She waved to him, giving one last grin. “Happy Halloween.”

He waved back. A happy Halloween for sure. He let himself free of his hoodie cocoon and followed his parents out. One of the workers gave him a big smile and a treat bag for trick-or-treating. He stood in a short line outside to receive candy from a pumpkinhead on stilts. Nearby, his parents chatted with one of the non-costumed employees.

“We had a great time. I still have goosebumps!” Jay’s dad gushed.

“Glad you enjoyed it,” the employee replied. “Just be careful going home. Last year, a guest got in a crash as soon as she pulled out of the parking lot.”

Jay’s mother gasped. “Was anyone hurt?!”

The employee nodded somberly. “She didn’t make it. Poor girl; she was so scared, she didn’t notice the other car coming. And she hadn’t even gone through the house; she was still in the waiting room when she ran off.” She shook her head. “Some people can’t handle fear.”

****

Sandra clung to her dad’s hand, not taking her eyes off the skeleton-man guarding the entrance. She didn’t want to be here. Daddy said this was a not-scary haunted house, but she already had goosebumps and they hadn’t even left the line.

“Hey, kiddo. Is this your first time here?”

Sandra turned. The question came from a girl behind them–younger than Daddy but way older than Sandra. Her pink hair glowed under the dim lights, and her shirt had a cheery cartoon character on it. She looked funny in a spooky place like this.

“I’ve been here before; I promise it’s fun.” She crouched to Sandra’s level, giving the child a kind smile. “Mind if I join you guys? I feel safer in a pack.”

Daddy agreed. The strange girl offered Sandra a fist bump. After some hesitation, she tapped her tiny knuckles against the girl’s bigger ones. The girl grinned bigger.

“If I can do it, you can do it, okay?”

#short story #based on my recent visit to a haunted house

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nth-times-the-charm · 1 year ago

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My brain is much, I'm tired of justifying feeling like shit, of course I feel like shit, and these capitalist pigs just want me to keep toiling, nothing like studying psychology in a left leaning university just to have your teachers deny you a week for grieving the alarmingly close call of you brother wanting to off himself, what, they would have excused me if he'd succeeded? How fucking cruel is that, a whole extra year because I couldn't deal with grief for a week, fuck this shit, fuck finals week, fuck having to justify life with adhd and depression being significantly harder, I'm not lazy and I'm not careless, i put in as much effort as everyone else in, it's just that most of my energy goes towards things people just do without a second thought, waking up is a fucking chore, starting tasks is a nightmare, I hate going to bed more than anyone should, i can barley make it through an entire class without loosing the thread, if I don't take at least 2 medications daily i basically can't function, I become an unreliable mess, so it won't be obvious at first that somethings wrong, I'll manage for a few days, maybe even a few weeks, and then eventually I'll break down, people will be disappointed because they didn't expect me to be this irresponsabile, they didn't think I'd care so little, they'd think it's selfish for me to stay home despite having something really important to do that day, they really believe it's an easy choise, they have no idea how hard getting out of bed can get, they've never spent over 20 hours struggling to wake up, they've never stayed up all night finishing an assignment not because they were careless but because they sincerely couldn't start working on it sooner, they have no concept of having a bad day, not to mention a bad week, and i can tell they don't believe me, i can tell they don't believe how hard it is, because no one talks about how hard adhd is, because we're embarrassed by it, because we're told all our lives that we should work through it, that we'll eventually get better, than it's okay to struggle a little but that we'll get there in the end, we won't "get there" it'll never be the same for us, sure we can pick up the rhythm at an enormous cost, I've always used the metaphor of living with adhd as having a to walk a steeper road than most people to accomplish the same things, but it doesn't really show how difficult things can get.

Imagine the following situation, you have to run a 100m sprint, it will be timed, but it's a fairly generous time, some people seem like they've been prepared for a long time, they are in shape and you know they'll crush the minimum time required, some seem a bit nervous, but doing their best they'll be fine, some don't really feel like running, they'll walk at a brisk pace, but they'll be either really close to the time or late by a small amount,and there you are, forced to do the exact same sprint, only difference is you have to run on your knees, sure you could somehow manage to do well enough, maybe even be in time if you put in a stupid amount of effort, either way you'll wreck yourself trying to accomplish what for some people is just a small task.

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sister-lucifer · 2 years ago

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Bully

Toby x Male reader

Reader uses he/him and has a penis

summary: you and toby get paired up for a group project, he pressures you into letting him come over to work on it, antics ensue

Genres: Smut

warnings/content: SLUR USE, bullying obvi, degradation, dubcon/noncon, male reader is made to cross dress(skirts and lingerie), , toby likes to hurt you, humiliation, low key blackmail, LIKE SERIOUSLY TOBY IS MEAN HERE AND HE LIKES EMBARRASSING YOU HES SO NASTY HERE

To avoid any confusion, in my headcanons Toby has a stutter as well as but separate from his tourette’s. I am not writing his tics, I am writing his stutter.

Group projects. The bane of your existence. The absolute worst way to go about getting things done.

You were an adult, you were more than capable of doing an assignment on your own. Group projects never once worked in your favor. Your group was always lazy or uncooperative or just didn’t show up all together.

This was going to be awful.

You watched with growing dismay as people paired off to begin working. One by one your professor called names, and you still remained. The anticipation was killing you.

Finally he turned and pointed in your direction.

“You, you’re with–” He glanced at his paper.

“...Tobias.”

You were going to cry.

Your jaw dropped as you looked over at Toby. He was leaning back in his chair with his muddy shoes on the desk, smirking at you, his messy nest of dark brown hair going in all directions.

You hated him. And to your knowledge, he hated you. He pushed you in the hallways, messed up your stuff, dumped your backpack out. He acted like a middle school bully from a movie.

His words replayed in your mind as you stared at his smug face.

“Awww, are y-you gonna cry? What a little bitch.”

“H-Have you been avoiding me? You know damn well I told you n-not to do that.”

“I-If you have such an issue with me you should do s-something about it, but of course you w-won’t. You’re too much of a pussy.”

He was an awful, vulgar boy.

You stared down at your desk.

Your life was over. The world was ending. The ground was crumbling beneath your feet. Everything–

Oh shit, the bell rang.

You gathered your stuff as quickly as you could, not looking back as you hurried out of the classroom. Maybe you could make it to the parking lot before he found you, maybe–

“Hey, where do you think y-you’re going?” A deep voice spoke from behind you, accompanied by a strong hand gripping your shoulder.

Dammit.

“Um, I–“

“We’re p-partners, aren’t we? We should work together.” His smile would’ve seemed genuine if he was literally anyone else, but on him it was unsettling.

“Well, yeah, but, um…” You trailed off, trying desperately to think of an excuse but your mind was blank.

“How about,” he began, turning you around rather forcefully, “we h-head over to your place, yeah? We can start our research or whatever-r.”

“I–”

Oh god, why weren’t you SAYING ANYTHING?!

“Sounds great! You’ve g-got a car, right? We’ll take that!”

And now he’s shoving you along to the parking lot. Great.

Unfortunately for you, you had no idea what you just got forced to do agreed to.

He put a hand on your lower back and kept it there the entire way, making sure you kept up with him. He was talking up a storm despite the fact that you didn’t really respond; his words were meaningless chatter filled to the brim with curses and innuendos that always made your face heat up. You stared down at your feet the whole way, your mind racing with thoughts of what on earth he could possibly have planned.

You only came back to reality when you found yourself starting your car, Toby in the passenger's seat beside you, feet up on the dash.

“I h-hope your house isn’t a fucking pig sty. You better have good booze t-too.”

You weren’t even there yet and he was already being demanding.

You wanted to tell him to shut his trap, but you knew you couldn’t. You were too afraid. Toby was right, you were kind of a pussy. You really, really didn’t want to anger him, so you endured his bullying.

You sighed as you began backing out of your parking space.

You ignored him the whole way there, though he didn’t seem to mind. He rambled on anyway. He didn’t let his condition stop him from being talkative, which would be admirable if he wasn’t such an asshole.

You didn’t say a word when you pulled into your driveway and got out of your car. You really, really didn’t want him in your house, but you were in too deep to refuse him

now. Your hands were shaky when you grabbed your house key and unlocked the door.

“Um, here it is,” You said quietly, stepping to the side to let Toby enter. He wasted no time, walking in like he owned the place and promptly kicking off his shoes.

“You got this whole p-place to yourself?”

“No, my parents live here,” you answered, voice barely above a whisper.

“Then where are they no-ow?”

“Um, vacation ‘til next week.”

“Oh?”

He smiled at you in a familiarly unsettling manner. Oh god, why did you tell him that?! Now he knows you’re here alone! Oh fuck–

He walked over to you and put his hand on your back again.

“At least we won’t be interrupted, r-right?” He said through a toothy grin. His tone was much more ominous than it should have been, and it sent a chill down your spine.

“Um–” You couldn’t muster a full sentence, your mouth dry with a sudden fear.

He moved his hand to your shoulder and shoved you with all his strength, laughing as you stumbled, trying not to fall from the sudden force.

“Let’s-s go up to your room, yeah?”

You didn’t turn to look at him. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing your face contorted in embarrassment. You only nodded as you turned to head towards the stairs.

You didn’t see the way Toby shamelessly eyed up your ass as you walked. God, those dress pants made you look so fucking good.

You felt a sense of dread as your door creaked open, Toby a few steps behind you. You didn’t want him in your house, let alone your personal space, but he’d already pushed past you and let himself in.

“Nice place ya got h-here.” He commented, flopping down on your bed. You opened your mouth to protest, but quickly thought better of it. You could wash everything later.

You set your bag down and pulled out some books and a binder, when you realized you were missing something.

“Oh, I think my laptop is downstairs. I’ll be right back.”

You hurried out of the room and shut the door behind you, desperately needing a moment to collect your thoughts. You really did leave your laptop downstairs, but you needed a minute. Or two. Or twenty.

“Hurry the fuck up!” Toby called after you.

It only took a few seconds for him to decide he was bored. Maybe some snooping would entertain him for a bit. You had to have some sort of awful secret thing hidden in here. There’s no way a perfect little student like you didn’t have a dirty secret, right? Maybe a porn stash, or stolen money, anything that would make you look bad.

He checked under the mattress, nothing hidden there. He checked under your bed, nothing but a few lost socks. He checked your closet, everything seemed normal.

He groaned dramatically.

Absolutely nothing.

He was starting to give up hope as he pulled open your drawers one by one.

Then he saw it.

Stuffed in the very bottom drawer was a stack of skirts, accompanied by a couple of very expensive looking pairs of lacy underwear.

He gasped, his face breaking out into his signature sinister grin.

His eyes were drawn to two things in particular: A black skirt with frills and a seemingly matching pair of underwear, both with white bows on the sides.

Oh, this was exactly what he wanted.

When you’d finally collected yourself and worked up the courage to head back to your room and face him, you had no idea what was in store for you. You were still looking at the floor when you opened the door and closed it behind you, laptop tucked under your arm.

“Ok, now we can–“

Your heart dropped when you looked up, your laptop crashing to the floor.

Toby had the black skirt draped over his arm and the lingerie in the same hand. His other hand held his phone, and he had already taken plenty of photos. And yet, he kept taking more. This was just too good.

“What are you doing?!” You shrieked, trying to snatch the clothing from him. Unfortunately for you he was six feet tall, and it was more than easy enough for him to simply hold them above your head.

“Awww, are y-you embarrassed that i found your dirty little secret?” He teased in the most demeaning tone he could muster. “Not t-to mention that now I’ve g-got proof that you’re a little slut.” He waved his phone in the air.

You could already feel your eyes start to tear up. Oh god, this couldn’t be happening.

“I-I am not!” You argued, weakly tugging on his arm. “Please, Toby! It’s none of your business! Delete them!”

“Give me one good reason w-why I should!” He yelled back, pushing you to the ground. You landed with a small yelp.

Toby put his phone in his back pocket so he could use both hands to inspect the items.

“You’re the one leaving your shit o-out in the open for m-me to find.” Okay, that was a lie, but it’s not like it mattered. Plus, the more blame he could put on you the better.

“P-Please, Toby.” You whined.

“P-P-P-Pleeeaasee Toby!” He mocked, imitating your voice. “What? You worried I’m gonna t-tell everyone you’re a nasty fuckin’ fag?” You shrunk back in embarrassment, looking at the ground.

When he looked back at the clothing in his hand, he couldn’t help but let his imagination run wild. If you looked that damn good in dress pants, you’d only look better in these–

His eyes lit up with an idea.

“Put ‘em on.”

You froze. No, there’s no way he just said that.

“What?” You whispered, not daring to look up at him.

He knelt down in front of you, speaking in a low tone. “Put ‘em on for me. Now.” He grabbed your face roughly, forcing you to look at him.

“No, I can’t,” You choked out, tears threatening to spill over.

“Oh, but you can. After all, it would be a sh-shame if these photos made their rounds around the school-l.” He patted his back pocket where he was keeping his phone.

“You wouldn’t!”

“Oh, but I would. Buuuut…” He shoved the skirt and lingerie into your hands. “If y-you behave for me, this can stay between us.”

You gripped the fabric hard, weighing your options. Finally you nodded, Toby letting go of you and stepping back.

You stood on shaky legs, turning towards the door. Just when your hand was on the knob, Toby spoke, stopping you in your tracks.

“I didn’t tell you to leave.”

You shuddered.

“You asked me to put them on, I’m just going to the bathroom,” You replied, meekly looking back at him.

“I didn’t tell you to leave.” He repeated, quickly becoming frustrated when you just stood there. “Turn around.”

You could feel your lip quivering when you whispered a “no, please.”

“Turn around. Now.”

This time you managed to make your body move, turning to face him but not moving your gaze from the floor.

“Put them on. I’m n-not asking again.”

He paused. When that didn’t seem to work, he spoke again, getting closer this time and leaning down to be eye level with you.

“If y-you don’t fucking listen to me, I’m gonna tear your clothes off and dress you m-myself. Nod if you understand.”

You nodded. You had no other choice.

“Good boy.” He praised, his words laced with degradation as he patted your head. He pulled up your bean bag chair and flopped down in it so he had a good view.

“Gimme a show, pretty boy.”

You would never admit it, but his words made your cock twitch.

You turned away from him as you went to unzip your pants, fumbling with it for a few moments.

“Nuh-Uh!” Toby suddenly interrupted. “S-Shirt first. I don’t want you in a-anything except what I picked out. And turn around, or else.”

It took all of your courage to face him, trembling hands clumsily unbuttoning your collared shirt.

“Thaaats it,” He groaned. He adjusted his sitting position, legs open and hard-on painfully obvious. “Niiiice ‘n’ slow.”

The cold air hit you hard when you slipped off your shirt, letting it fall to the ground. You sucked in a breath, glancing up at Toby through your now wet lashes.

You bit your lip as you hesitantly moved your hands back down to your zipper. You hoped so badly that he would call it off, that he would laugh and tell you it was all a joke, but he didn’t.

So, with shaky hands you slipped your pants off and kicked them to the side. A strangled noise escaped Toby’s throat. Everything you wore hugged you so perfectly, and now that he could get a good look at your bulge you looked even better.

You gulped as you hooked your thumbs under the waistband of your boxers. Toby could clearly see you trembling. You were so pathetic and submissive, and that was exactly how he liked you. You’d do anything he asked, whether you wanted to or not.

He let you squirm in place for a few moments before he spoke.

“C’mon, you can d-do it.” For some reason, you could sense just the slightest hint of reassurance behind his words, but you quickly shook away this thought.

You took in a deep breath, biting your tongue, and slid your hands downward, bringing your boxers with them. You could feel your entire body heat up, every inch of you on fire.

You didn’t want to stand back up. You were hidden well this way, so you grabbed the lingerie and started stepping into them while still bent over.

“Stand up.”

Goddammit. He wasn’t giving you anything.

“N-No.” You managed to reply.

“Yes. I’m not fucking asking.”

Silence from you.

“Now, bitch. Let me see what I came here for. Or else–I c-could always send the pictures now?”

You flinched just from his words.

Still gripping the lingerie, you shakily stood all the way up, hugging yourself as hard as you could. You stared at a spot on the wall, focusing all your energy into pretending this wasn’t happening.

“Oh my g-god,” Toby muttered. “You’re fuckin’ massive.” He seemed genuinely amazed. He was looking forward to making fun of you for being small, but this was a welcome alternative.

“Aww, and you’re already half hard! Don’t t-tell me you’re enjoying this, whore.”

You clamped a hand over your mouth. You leaned back over to step into the lingerie, cringing when you brought them all the way up. They barely covered you, which was the point, but this was not a scenario you ever expected to be using them in, not to mention they were fitting less and less of you the harder you got.

Putting on the skirt was the least painful part of the process. The only issue was that zipping it up in the back with shaky hands was easier said than done.

You froze when you heard Toby chuckle.

“Looks-s like you’re struggling a bit. C’mere, let me h-help.” He said, patting his lap.

You took a hesitant step forward, then another, then another, until you were lowering yourself onto his lap. He wrapped a strong arm around you and pressed you as close as he could, simply holding you there for a long moment. You cautiously moved to rest your hands on his sides, and he let out a small, content sigh.

It was almost…nice.

His free hand moved to yank up on the zipper of your skirt rather roughly, bringing a small yelp out of you.

Toby pushed back to get a better look at you, moving your hands to his shoulders.

“Aren't you a pretty th-thing.”

His rands ran up and down your sides, taking in the bare skin. His thumbs ghosted over your chest, making you shudder.

Eventually his hands moved down to your thighs, giving them a soft squeeze. When they moved back up, they went under your skirt, shamelessly groping you. He lifted the skirt to get a better look at your back end, licking his lips.

“Pretty, pretty, pretty.” He repeated under his breath.

He nuzzled into your neck gently. His hands roamed anywhere they could get to. Your legs, your back, your chest, anywhere he could touch, and it kept your entire body tense. You kept expecting him to make some sort of violent sudden movement, to hit you or push you over, but he never did. He was slow and steady.

“You look s-so good in this, I couldn't bear to take them off-f you.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Was that his way of telling you this torture was finally over?

Suddenly his hands moved to your hips, his grip tightening. He pushed them outward so that you were sort of bending over, your back end out. He pushed the lingerie to the side to shove two fingers in you without warning, and without any sort of lubrication, making you let out a pathetic cry.

Oh, it was far from over.

“Toby–!”

“Shhhhh…”

He thrusted his fingers in and out of you at a rough pace, hitting as deep as he could, never slowing despite your protests. Truth be told it was mostly just to prolong your embarrassment.

“Toby please, stop–! you’re going too fast!”

“Aww, am I-I hurting you? Are you too fuckin’ weak to even take m-my fingers? Pathetic.”

Your whines and whimpers only encouraged him, and soon he was adding a third finger. His free hand held a tight grip on your hair, keeping you in place. Your now fully erect cock twitched with every movement, and you found yourself desperately gripping onto his sweatshirt for dear life. You cursed yourself when you got the urge to wrap your arms around him. He was surprisingly warm, and you wanted so badly to just collapse against him.

But you hated him, right?

And he hated you, right?

“Toby–! I-I cant, please–! No more!”

Just when you were ready to lose your mind, just when you were sure you couldn’t possibly take any more of the abuse, he pulled his fingers out suddenly. You breathed a sigh of relief, letting your body finally relax, Your chin resting on his shoulder.

Although, the calm wouldn't last very long.

His hand slid down to grip your wrist, moving your hand to his belt.

“Take it off.”

You knew better than to hesitate this time. You unbuckled his belt and slid it off, to which he promptly discarded it. He looked at you expectantly, wondering if you’d figure out what he wanted you to do next on your own.

You glanced up at him for approval when your hands moved to his zipper, and when he nodded, you tugged it down. He ran his tongue over his teeth and swallowed hard. He was already having trouble controlling himself, but he wanted so badly to take his time.

Even beneath his boxers you could tell he was huge, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t scare you a bit.

You slipped two fingers under the waistband of his boxers, and sucked in a deep breath before pulling them down just enough for his erection to spring free. He threw his head back, letting out a moan.

“Fuuuck, that’s s-so much better.”

God, he was big. He couldn’t help but laugh at the way your eyes widened.

He moved to grip your hips once more, this time pushing the lingerie to the side as he positioned you over his cock.

“Toby?” You rasped in a whispery tone. There’s no way he thought that thing was gonna fit in you.

“Yeeeessss?”

“You–Y-You’re not gonna–That’s not gonna fit!”

You hid your face in the crook of his neck.

“Awww, don’t worry b-baby.” He replied, his hot breath fanning over your neck.

“I’ll make it fit.”’

You didn’t get a second to process his words before he shoved you down, forcing you to take all of him at once, and you screamed.

“Toby! Stop it! It’s too big! Please!”

But he ignored you.

He wasted no time finding a brutal pace, pounding into you like his life depended on it.

The stretch was almost unbearable, leaving you to dig your nails deep into his shoulders; not that he could feel it. It was heavy in your belly, too, and when he was all the way in you could see the outline of his cock inside you.

At least you didn’t have to do much of the work…although, the fact that he was strong enough to physically lift you up and down on his cock was terrifying.

“Toby, please! It hurts–!”

“It fucking better!” He growled, showing his teeth like a feral animal. He was practically foaming at the mouth, drooling through gritted teeth. He was losing his mind.

You could already feel your hips bruising with the vicious hold he had on you. Each thrust was accompanied by an animalistic grunt and the occasional curse.

“God, fuck! T-Tight little bitch!”

He was panting like a dog now, tongue unfurled as he moaned shamelessly.

You, on the other hand, were trying so, so desperately to keep quiet, but with each thrust another strangled noise of depravity slipped through your gritted teeth.

“Toby,” You whimpered, resting your head on his shoulder. You gave in and wrapped your arms around him, holding him as tight as you could.

It was nice.

He was warm.

A gentle gesture juxtaposed with the way he was jackhammering into you with all his strength.

His teeth sunk into your shoulder, not incredibly hard, but more than enough to hurt.

You whined, turning your head so that your lips just barely ghosted over his neck. In a moment of boldness you planted a gentle kiss on his jaw, then another on his neck.

This made him happier than you would ever know.

“Oh g-god. You make it so hard t-to last.” He could feel himself coming undone, but he sure as hell wasn’t finishing before you.

You were bouncing on your own now, meaning he could use a hand to dip under your skirt and into your underwear, wrapping a hand around your cock and fisting it as fast as he could.

“Toby! Too much!” You protested, but your words had no weight to them. You made no effort to stop or even slow your movements, loving the way he hit all of the perfect spots inside of you. He left no part untouched.

“Is my pretty b-boy gonna cum? Are you?”

You could only nod in response, your attempt at words coming out as a mess of moans and whines.

“C’mon then baby, you c-can do it.”

His words were enough to push you over the edge, and with one last cry you released all over his hand, soaking your skirt and expensive lingerie.

Oh well, he was more than willing to get you more.

“Oh god–! Just when i thought you c-couldn’t possibly get any fuckin’ tighter–!” He slurred through gritted teeth, absolutely relishing in the way you clenched around him.

His pace was becoming erratic, both of his hands back on your hips now as he effortlessly moved your body as if you weighed nothing.

“G-Gonna fuckin’ fill you to the brim–”

He sunk his teeth into your shoulder again, harder this time, spots of red staining his pearly whites as he thrusted into you for the last few times, his moans muffled by your flesh between his teeth as he came inside of you.

With what little of your voice you had left you managed to scream his name one last time.

Finally he slowed to a stop, his cum leaking down your legs despite his best efforts to keep it inside of you. It was warm and thick, and he put a gentle hand on your belly where we could tell you’d been filled. You didn’t think you’d ever be empty again.

You fell forward against him, not even bothering to pull yourself off of his cock. You both wrapped your arms around each other, catching your breath in a comfortable silence. He rubbed up and down your back gently, nuzzling into your neck.

When you finally sat up again, you immediately met his eyes. They were no longer intimidating and cold, instead filled with content and a soft happiness. He leaned forward to give you a long but tender kiss.

“H-Hey,” He spoke when he pulled away.

“D’ya th-think I could spend the night?”

#creepypasta #ticci toby x you #ticci toby #toby rogers #smut #creepypasta smut #bully au #tw noncon #tw dubcon #tw bullying #tw slur use #ticci toby smut #male reader

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bountyhaunter · 6 months ago

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Who the fuck is Monty? Can I meet his pigs?

[pm] That was great. You did so well.

Ummm the point is that it's great for fun. And also if you're too lazy to type or you sprained a finger or something while hunting. #HappenedToMe. [...] So you told a human about hunters? And other stuff? Not coo

Oh, absolutely. People are gonna be shits to them and then that's going to be a disaster. We can gather them and divide them between the two of us, then? I guess you just give them water or something. Aren't plants supposed to keep themselves alive?

A pudelpointer! He's great at chasing down little critters. He's called Nugget.

Very funny. But I'd rather work with the pigs on Monty's farm that my co-workers most time. For whatever that's worth.

[pm] The mic button?

[user hits the mic button and there's some shuffling sounds and then you can hear: "Putain, what's it doing? How do you... Stop. Is this the? What fucking button makes it st--"]

What's the point of that? Why not just call someone if you're going to talk to them? Anyway very much not a ranger or a hunter. He knows what I am, though.

I'm not worried about them causing any harm, I'm worried about people causing harm to them. And also it revealing the supernatural, all that shit. I live pretty far out into the woods, too. May not be the worst idea to gather them up. Except I don't have a fucking clue how to take care of a vegetable lamb. I heard it's pretty hard to keep them alive. Even if you don't factor in the dog.

What kind of dog, though? What's their name?

#dash.#kaden.#kaden: 004.

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shewrites02 · 3 years ago

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Gone Too Long |Shikamaru x Reader|

Summary: Not having his partner around begins to toll on Shikamaru

Word count: 3k

Lady Tsunade was assigning weekly chores to all the Shinobi who had yet to be assigned a mission. Usually these tasks were reserved for Genin, but this week had been slow for the village. Many Chunin and Jonin were left task less aimlessly patrolling the village.

"Shikamaru, you'll assist Iruka at the Academy for the remainder of the week."

Shikamaru let out a long dreadful sigh before muttering "What a drag, that's so much work." Just above his breath.

Shikamaru complaining was not out of the ordinary, but him complaining in front of the Fifth Hokage was and everyone took notice. Lady Tsunade slowly looked up from her journal with her eyebrow slightly raised. She was offering Shikamaru a chance to apologize before she completely ripped into him like she often did with Naruto. But all he did was smack his lips and cross his arms against his chest.

"Forgive him Lady Tsunade, he gets like this whenever y/n is gone on a mission." Ino announced proudly as a devilish smile graced her lips.

The other ninjas futilely tried to suppress their laughter but soon the whole room erupted into a uncontrollable fit. Even Lady Tsunade's scowl had turned into a humorous smile. Shikamaru's face began to turn beat red as his fellow shinobi teased him.

"So that explains his nasty attitude this whole week. Me and Akamaru knew there was something up with you!" Kiba laughed after Akamaru barked, agreeing.

"I bet his attitude will change once he gets some... special attention" Tenten snickered.

This even warranted a light chuckle from the stoned face Shino Aburame.

"Special... Attention?" Naruto mumbled completely lost. as usual he wasn't paying any attention and the joke had gone completely over his head. Kiba leaned over and explained the joke as clearly as he could. It took Naruto probably a full minute before he caught on and laughed with the rest of them.

Shikamaru grumbled under his breath, but didn't argue. As much as he hated to admit it to his friends, not having you around severely impacted his day to day interactions. He was constantly irritated because he didn't get as much sleep with you gone. The side of the bed where you usually reside seemed like a gaping hole with you not there, and no matter how much tossing and turning he did he was never comfortable.

He was frustrated that he couldn't come home to you after a long day of working with idiots. Even if you did nothing but tell him to give his teammates a break he missed the sound of your voice soothing him. He missed laying in your arms while you lectured that not everybody was a genius like him. At this point he would settle for your hands just gracing his.

And most of all he was distracted by the crippling fear that one of these days you might not come home to him. Shikamaru undoubtedly knew that you could handle yourself. Yall had spared a couple times and you'd come close to beating him more than once. But the idea of not being there to protect you often left him feeling helpless.

With these thoughts constantly running through his mind, it was difficult to focus on the seemingly mundane tasks he was often given. To be honest the only times he wasn't thinking of you was when he was on his own missions, and even then his thoughts were reserved for keeping his squad alive and staying alive himself specifically to see you again.

"Well you'll be glad to know she's coming back today, I'll be expecting you to be in a better mood tomorrow!" Lady Tsunade teased before shushing the crowd and returning to give out assignments.

Just as Shikamaru had thought working at the academy was the exact mindless work he dreaded so much. They could've put him with the younger children, given him a challenge, well at least that's what he thought. Instead he supervised a group of kids around the ages of 9 to 11. These children were no stranger to Shikamaru or his legacy, actually any shinobi rumored to have amazing talent or great potential was a topic of discussion amongst the children in the academy. The stories they've heard of Shikamaru and the Nara clan as a whole were impressive enough to earn their respect. In fear of potentially earning themselves a bad name with someone they could possibly call their squad leader once graduating, They gave Shikamaru absolutely no problems.

"Shikamaru Sensei... is it true you forfeited your last match in the Chunin exams?!" A little boy shouted across the blacktop as he and a large number of his classmates came rushing towards the lazy uninterested ninja.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"I told you, Idiot!" A young girl exclaimed, hitting the previous boy in the back of the head with a scroll she had. "He was running out of Chakra and knew he couldn't finish the fight!"

The young girl's confident proclamation surprised Shikamaru. Every ninja in the village knew the story, but very few knew the reasoning behind his actions. Usually the only ones who accurately recounted the story were those who saw the match with their own eyes.

"Who told you that?" Shikamaru inquired.

"Y/n Sensei told our whole class the story the last time she came to the academy, had all of us try to figure out why you'd throw a match that you practically had won. She said it's her favorite story to tell students who are about to graduate."

"Yeah she said it's still the most amazing match she's watched during the Chunin exams, even now!"

"She told us that if we wanna be half the ninja you are, we always have to be thinking two steps ahead."

Shikamaru couldn't stop that infamous smirk from creeping onto his face. He loved hearing that you spoke to your class about him, that you even bragged about how talented he was, even if it was to a bunch of children. You admired him not only for the person he is, but the ninja he's become and that was a great honor to Shikamaru.

"Look, it's y/n Sensei, she's back from her mission!" The little girl from before yelled pointing over at the village's entrance. All the children fervently yelled your name in a vain attempt to get your attention. The academy laid on hill that allowed them to peer down at the entire village, though they could see you, you could not see them.

Shikamaru acting as if he too were one of your students rushed to the fence to see if they were correct, if finally the love of his life had returned home. Sure enough right alongside Kakashi and Tsume there you were. Your smile is as bright as ever despite having a few minor scrapes and bruises. Butterflies filled the pit of Shikamaru's stomach and what was just a sly smirk had turned into a full blown smile, teeth and all. He's heart fluttered, but skipped a beat at the same time it was like he had seen you for the first time.

"Go ahead, class is wrapping up anyway!" Iruka whispered over to him.

Shikamaru was stunned, he was so entranced by the sight of you he was completely ignorant to his surroundings. For the first time since he graduated from the Academy he had let Iruka sneak up on him. Your being gone had even a greater hold on him than he initially thought. He needed to see you right now.

He thankfully patted Iruka on his back before darting off toward the exit. He knew you'd first go to Ichirkau Ramen to pick up dinner for the two of you, a tradition set in place to celebrate a successful mission. So if he could move quick enough he could make it to the flower shop and back to the apartment the two of you shared before you. He did not want a cold empty uninviting apartment to be what greeted you once you returned home, especially after seeing you had endured wounds while on your mission. Honestly he didn't want you to have to worry about a thing.

Once he fumbled into the door, he immediately began to prepare for your arrival. He lit every candle he could find and arranged them around the perimeter of the bathroom while the water for a hot bath drew. He even went as far as to place rose petals in the water. Something he never understood but knew you would appreciate. When that was handled he placed one of his t-shirts on the counter and dimmed the lights. He could hear your footsteps approaching down the hall.

His nonchalant nature made it absolutely impossible for him to display any type of excitement or anticipation willingly. Due to this he sprinted back to living snatching up a book that was left on the coffee table and pretended to read it as you walked into the room.

He lowered the book just below his nose being careful to conceal the wide tooth smile he had behind those pages.

"You're home." He announced very casually.

You laughed. He never exceeded those two words when it came to welcoming you back, never a "I missed you" or "I'm so excited to see you" always those two words. When you first started dating such a dull response hurt your feelings, you wanted him to be jumping for joy to see you. Now the promise of hearing those two words was the primary motivation in completing your missions.

"And look, ramen!" You squealed slightly shaking the bag.

Shikamaru glanced over at the bag then returned his gaze to his book. You scoffed slightly offended, this was your favorite part of coming home, pigging out on loads of ramen after eating forest food for a week. Shikamaru knew this! He'd let you recite the details of your mission to him while he attentively listened, it was when you explained all the scrapes and bruises you inevitably always returned with.

"Go get cleaned up so we can eat." He demanded eyes still glued to that stupid book.

Your face fell, that childish giddy smile now wiped clean away. Shikamaru had never had a problem sharing at least a quick meal with you before you hopped in the shower. You were well aware of the toll half a day's walk had on one's body, but was this your boyfriend's crude way of telling you, you smelled. You sat the ramen on the dining room table not bothering to suppress the pout on your face.

Shikamaru got a glimpse of your expression out the side of his eye and immediately felt guilty. Perhaps there was a better way of getting you in the bathroom to see his surprise for you. One that hadn't made you feel so self conscious or small. For such a genius he made some stupid mistakes.

He placed his book on the coffee table to meet you in the kitchen. Bypassing the food he snuck behind you, creeping his arms around your waist before planting a small soft kiss on your cheek. Shikamaru snuggled his head into your neck before speaking.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so crass." He mumbled against your skin. "But I do have a surprise for you in the bathroom."

You perked up at the mention of a surprise. A wide grin sneaking on your lips as the scowl you held earlier dissipated. Shikamaru had always been a thoughtful boyfriend even if he was so coy in his interactions with you. He'd fill the apartment with roses for your anniversary , then downplay the extravagant act when you walked in the door. He once planned an entire surprise birthday party for you just to spend the entire night proclaiming he barely did anything. You were excited to see what considerate display your partner had put together this time.

You let out a small gasp as you walked into the romantically decorated bathroom. The dim candles created such a relaxed yet intimate ambiance to the entire space. You chuckled some at the rose petals. Despite the countless lectures both you and Ino had received on how pointless it was to pick the petals off of roses when a person could simply just give their partner a bouquet of roses, he still included them in your warm bath.

"Shika... you didn't have to do all this."

"It was nothing." He reassured disregarding the full speed sprint from the academy to the Yamanaka flower shop, then to the apartment. "Here let me help you."

Shikamaru assisted you in removing your garments. He knew how even the smallest tasks could bring out the failure's in your body after such a long mission. Something as simple as slipping out of a pair of cargoes seemed like a feat to a body so sore from what felt like an endless battle. He let you grasp onto his forearm before dipping into the tub and sinking shoulder deep. The warm water against your ailing body felt almost euphoric. As usual Shikamaru knew exactly what you needed.

Of course your generous boyfriend could not stop there, running you a bath was not enough. He was going to bathe you himself too. Tenderly rubbing the dirt and grime from every cut and scrape on your body.

"How'd you get this one?" a question he asked ever so often. His tone is always dull and irritated.

Shikamaru hated to see you covered in bruises. You called them a causality of the job, but to him they were just a sign that he wasn't there to protect you. He would try to ignore the small ones, but any that seemed too deep or painful he felt obligated to inquire about. Although he never liked the answer. That's probably why wiping away your wounds was so therapeutic for him. If he couldn't prevent the pain, at least he could alleviate it now.

"A shuriken hit me, cheap shot." You huffed.

Your boyfriend's face didn't soften, in fact you were sure you saw him actually grimace at the mention of you getting hit. You wondered why he even tortured himself asking questions he didn't want the answer to. Nonetheless you weren't going to let some small injuries ruin your first night home.

"Rumor around the village is you missed me a whole lot while I was away. "

Shikamaru's cheeks instantly flushed as he averted his eyes away from you. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously as a few unsure chuckles fell from his mouth. He was searching for the words to say.

"I ran into Naruto at Ichiraku's, he said you had such an attitude with all of them. Heard you even snapped at Lady Tsunade you missed me so much."

"Damn, Naruto!" He mumbled underneath his breath. "You mess up my whole routine when you leave!"

You let out an exaggerated sigh at the tired excuse.

"Give it up Nara, you missed me!"

Reluctantly the shadow ninja accepted defeat. He laced his now wet hands with yours and brought them to his lips. He planted a trail of endearing kisses up your arm to your elbow before gently returning your hand to the soothing water.

"I'm a mess when you're not here. I swear you occupy so much space in my brain, I can't even think straight. I miss you so much."

The revelation caught you off guard. Maybe it was his lustful entrance of finally having you home after a month, but Shikamaru very rarely was this vulnerable with you. Such words blossomed butterflies in your stomach. It was as if Shikamaru was confessing his feelings for you for the very first time.

"I love you so much y/n."

"I Love you too."

The two of you feel into a comfortable silence. Shikamaru stood to grab you a dry towel. Reluctant you feel deeper into the water, Although drawing colder you couldn't imagine getting out the tub just yet. After all it had been weeks since you allowed yourself to be pampered in such a way. You wanted to savor every moment.

"God, this feels so good." You moaned in pleasure.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at your blissful proclamation, that infamous smirk plastered on his face. He approached the tub, abandoning the towel on the counter, and kneeled behind you. He snaked his hand up your torso, fondling you some before they landed at your neck. You'd have let out a small gasp if the familiar feeling of his fingers lightly squeezing your throat hadn't completely knocked the air out of you. He kissed his way from behind your ear down to the base of your neck.

"I can make you feel better."

The next morning the two of you found yourselves in Lady Tsunade's office, along with your comrades. As usual the Fifth Hokage was assigning daily tasks, when her eyes fell upon Shikamaru. His demeanor was clearly different from yesterday, His hands had returned to his pockets and his scowl had been replaced with a content grin.

"You seem to be in better spirits Shikamaru." Tsunade announced inquisitively. "I assume you've resolved that issue of yours?"

The other shinobi snickered at her insinuation. The attention made both you and Shikamaru look down at the floor hoping it would open up and consume you two whole. Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck, eyes closed before answering.

"Yes Ma'am."

#shikamaru imagine #shikamaru x y/n #shikamaru x you #shikamaru x reader #shikamaru #shikamaru nara #fan fic #fanfic #naruto #naruto shippuden #konoha 11

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dreaminginvelaris · 3 years ago

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A Response to a Feyre Anti

I made a post recently explaining the dread of having to watch Feyre be abused by her sisters and father, in the Tv adaption. And a Feyre anti made a response, to something that should not be criticized at all considering what I said was just the truth? Feyre was abused. Not only that but they went on and completely twisted the narrative to fit their own ideas and in the process made Feyre out to be cruel and Nesta a saint. complete bull.

I will not be tagging the anti bc they have me blocked (shocker), but also I do not want anyone to go after them, if you come across the post, I don't want it to be through me. it's as much respect I can give to them.

I usually do not respond to those who have something to say with a post of mine or are blatantly talking about me on their blog, unless they're just spreading absolute lies about me or what i "said", it's usually a waste of time to do so. but this post attacked Feyre with outrageous lies and a complete backward interpretation of what actually happened in acotar, so as respectful as I can be, I will be analyzing the anti-response and what truly happened in acotar.

"the audience will only see two sisters fighting-not abuse" "it’s not Nesta you need to worry about. It’s audiences calling Feyre a big dumbass and a bitch" -from anti

if the audience has basic human compassion and empathy for humans IRL or fictional, they will see what's obvious from the start. Feyres abuse. how is it going to look, when they see Feyre walking through the woods, shaking from the cold, starving from hunger, and struggling to find food for her family? only to later see Nesta's treatment of Feyre?"

in the anti's post, they said Feyre was just as "heinous" to Nesta.

is Feyre the one calling Nesta a pig? a smelly pig? ordering her to take her clothes off?

no, it's not, it's dear Nesta. the text goes as "I took my time, swallowing the words I wanted to bark at her" oh yes... how cruel of Feyre. how heinous of Feyre to...stay quiet... at the verbal abuse.

in the same image we see Feyre ask Nesta to do something (kindly might I add) and then inquire why she didn't chop wood like she needs to.

what does Nesta do? acts like a brat and insults Feyre...once again.

considering I'm going off by the story and not the actual screenplay, and assuming they stay true to the story; will the audience not be disgusted by Nesta's behavior? I mean they just saw Feyre struggle to find food and they expect Feyre to go home to a family happy and appreciative of Feyre but instead, they get this familial abuse.

the anti said Feyre basically tells Nesta this:

"If you keep bitching at everyone like this no one will want to be around you or you can’t marry this guy because you’re a waste of space to me"

but what do we see?

"Believe me... the day you want to marry someone worthy, I'll march up to his house and hand you over. But you're not going to marry Tomas."

the word worthy, did that not catch your eye? Feyre said Nesta will have to marry someone worthy, someone, who will treat Nesta kindly and give her the life Feyre thinks her sisters deserve. bc Feyre does think that IDK why anti feyres think Feyre despised Nesta so much, Feyre loved her sisters.

what the anti fails to realize here is that Nesta marrying Tomas would have been actually pretty great for Feyre. in the sense that, Feyre would no longer carry the burden of her sister. Feyre would not have to worry about feeding one more mouth. or worrying about Nesta's constant stealing of Feyre's money. Feyre does not think Nesta is a "waste of space" to her, if she did, it would have been easy for Feyre to discard Nesta, and allow her to marry Tomas. the anti has that twisted.

but that is not even the worst part of the scene. did you see the shameless slut-shaming that came out of Nesta's mouth? how will the audience take to that? do you think most of the younger generation will take it lightly to see a sister slut-shame a sister? a woman putting down another woman? in this social climate? where the feminism movement is alive and flourishing. will they be okay with it? will they still blame Feyre and be mad at her the way the anti says they will be? I hope not otherwise I'm losing faith in humanity.

Lovely words Nesta spews at Feyre. I admit Feyre should have told her then and there that Tomas is abusive. but let's think: Feyre is 19 years old, the youngest, has never had any raising by a parental figure, has been neglected by her whole family, where would Feyre learn to calmly talk to an overgrown brat like Nesta? Feyre telling Nesta who Tomas truly is the duty of a parent, not a sister. I will not condemn Feyre for not knowing that was the perfect time to tell Nesta who Tomas is. especially when Feyre is being tormented and verbally/emotionally abused, its kinda hard to think about something else while you're being told all these horrible words. to us its easy to see where Feyre went wrong but unless you're in the exact position Feyre was in. no one has any room to talk. and even then, every person is different in situations like these.

this part was me analyzing the interactions between Feyre and Nesta since anti had reasons to believe Feyre was just as bad to Nesta and that the audience would see that and hate Feyre. I am now going to respond to the second part of the Feyre Anti's response.

"How will an audience of non-fans react to her not reaching out to her family to tell them she was okay after the reconciliation between her and Nesta? Or not inviting them to the wedding?"- from anti

moving onto acomaf now.

Idk maybe the audience will see Feyre, a depressed, lonely, individual in an abusive relationship while being manipulated by other individuals she called friends, and understand and empathize with her. all throughout the beginning and half of acomaf, Feyre is in critical depression. she wholeheartedly believes she should not be alive. that she is not worthy. she doesn't eat, all she does is sleep, self-care is not important to her or others so why would letting a family know she's okay, a family who BARELY ever cared about her, be a priority? it doesn't seem like Nesta or elain or her father was really fazed by Feyre's lack of communication. her father left on a trip, elain got engaged and Nesta, well we didn't see a tearful welcoming to Feyre on Nesta's part did we?

anti, where is the outcry of her "family" not even really caring if Feyre was safe or not, of what happened to her? it's not like they thought she had died, otherwise, where was the mourning or funeral? no, they just didn't care.

see this is where I know when anti is just full of bullshit. why, WHY, would Feyre invite her family to wedding full of fae? the creatures elain and Nesta fear and hate? for all the talk many anti's spew about Feyre being inconsiderate to Nesta, to her family, you would think Feyre maybe just knows a fae wedding would be the last thing they would want? even then, does Feyre owe them an invitation to her wedding? does she owe them an update on her life? nope. Feyre owed them nothing.

"How about her shit-talking Nesta to a bunch of strangers then having the audacity to ask her to get involved in a war. Oh! This is after she comes into her house and insults their hospitality." - from anti

I hardly think Feyre confiding in individuals who she learned to care about and laying out all the trauma Feyre endured with her family is "shit-talking" but for argument's sake, let's say it is. I still don't see what's wrong? after years of pent-up anger and hurt, would you not let go of everything you withheld inside and explain what was done to you? how you felt? Feyre telling the IC her life story, which contains Nesta's abuse and her family's neglect, was a form of therapy for Feyre. I never read a line where Feyre calls Nesta a "cold-hearted bitch" or called elain "a lazy ditz" she just said the truth. no added embellishments. Cassian was the one who shit-talked Nesta during the dinner scene, never Feyre.

I still don't understand why antis are so against Feyre asking her sisters for help? like the war didn't involve them? they're humans, and you know what the war was about? Hybern wanting to take control of the human lands like they once did and turn them into slaves. those humans included Nesta and elain.

"They could have left the continent" correct, except elain was engaged and refused to leave Grayson. which meant Nesta refused to leave elain. but even so, isn't it the duty of humans to band together and work to overthrow a race of people who want to torture and keep them as slaves? the queens certainly weren't doing their jobs. Feyre asked to use "their" house to meet the queens bc where else would they do it? the queens trust the fae less than Nesta or elain did. but even so, Feyre asking to use their house was a courtesy, that house is rightfully Feyre's. she is the one who sacrificed herself to leave with Tamlin. she did it bravely, courageously, and they got that house thanks to her. they owed Feyre everything. and the only one who acknowledged that was Elain.

that war involved elain and Nesta whether they or Feyre or the anti's liked it or not. not even considering that Nesta and elain are Feyre Archerons sisters, yeah, their family name alone puts a target on their back.

How did Feyre or the court insult Elain's and Nesta's hospitality? You mean when Feyre realized human food differed from fae food? something she did not know about bc she's barely been turned to fae and only had eaten fae dishes? Feyre's grimace towards the human food was an involuntary reaction to someone who is still learning their new body. or was it when Cassian called out Nesta for her cold treatment towards Feyre? if that's the case then fuck decency, I would call out a fake bitch in my presence from minute one. you cant call what Nesta did "hospitality" when all she did was insult Feyre when she didn't even care that Feyre had died, or lost her love bc of abuse, or that her body was changed against her will.

hospitality: the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.

did y'all read something different bc this for sure was nothing Nesta gave to her guests?

----

the rest of the anti post moves towards Rhysand and his actions UTM which I won't go into because I'm mainly just addressing the false interpretations this anti had to say about Feyre and her family.

I'm not sure how to sign off now lol, but I guess just that I hope this was enough to show how this anti's arguments were completely ludicrous and have absolutely no compassion for Feyre, and instead all the compassion for Feyre's abusers. This anti had a real spin on what the actual story was, and I hope the evidence I provided was enough to show that. Anyways yeah my brain is fried, and I'm done arguing with Feyre anti's for a while now, I need to go praise my queen Feyre so I can receive some semblance of peace.

anyways, stan Feyre for clear skin xx

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