#we should only remember the lestappen moments

[red-racing-cars]

I'm not ready to see the 'no beta we die like charles in formation lap' tags on ao3 😭

[ruyakasunshine]

My humble suggestions to make F1 more interesting

In the light of the recent rumors about the FIA trying to manipulate the races in order to get more ratings, here are my totally awesome suggestions to make the races more interesting for the viewers.

obligatory disclaimer : those are jokes.

1. Add the Mario Kart blue shell

With the blue shell, you wouldn't have to worry about a race being uninteresting because one of teams has built a rocketship! Now you might be wondering how that would be doable, because how do you get an actual blue shell to only hit one driver? To that I answer, "sweetheart, give me your hand, and let me enlighten you with this name : Kevin Magnussen". Our dear K-mag won't be on the grid next year, and since we'll all miss him dearly, I think we should give him a blue kart and tell him to take out the race leader. He would be released once during the race, in a very random moment (that would be decided through 'google, give me a random number between 1 and 67') and the moment he is out a loud radio voice should announce "WE HAVE UNLEASHED THE MAGNUSSEN" in order to stress everyone out.

2. Add Horns

I know I'm not the only who has thought of this, because the CarCar beef would have been so much funnier if Oscar was allowed to just hit the horn at Carlos. Or the other way around, considering Carlos is a Mediterranean.

I believe that the one who'd abuse this the most would be Fernando, who, if he were to be passed by another driver, would push the button hard enough to spook them and gain his position back. We'd get him to win a race again with this, think about it!

Also, as an exception, Yuki's horn should be customed so that when it is pushed, it doesn't make a "beep" but a loud "FUCK" sound. He should be the only one allowed to do this.

3. Let them hear each other

I think they should just be all allowed to communicate together during the race, the way they do it with their engineers.

Now do I think it's doable? Probably not. Do I think that would be productive? Absolutely not. Do I believe the FIA would decide to remove this option 3 laps into a race? Totally.

But the entertainment value would be so high, because I refuse to believe anyone who says they wouldn't want to hear the Checo-Liam beef in live. Also, I think Carlos should have heard Oscar say "typical Carlos" as he said it. Now that would be fun.

No more team orders, if a driver wants to swap position with his teammate, he has to convince him with everyone being able to hear them.

I also believe that Charles and Max should be given this option anyway, since Max has decided to talk to Charles alone in his own car.

4. Settle the penalties through fistfights

I've seen people talk about how it is problematic to have different stewards at every race, because it makes the decisions taken incoherent. George believes permanent stewards would solve the issue. I believe that when two drivers collide, they should be allowed to fistfight in front of the arena, and the loser gets the penalty. That would especially funny in Vegas, with Bruce Buffer as the commentator.

Also, an exception would be made for one specific situation: if Lewis and Fernando collide, they have to hug, and the first one to let go looses and gets the penalty.

5. The team who gets tenth position in the constructors should get sold to One Direction

I have no arguments other than the fact that the team could use the money anyway, since they won't get much from the constructors.

6. Make the read fanfics for each penalty point they get

Remember this post where I suggested that Haas should have made read K-mag self-insert fanfics for every point he gets on his licence? Well I've changed my mind, I think every driver should have the chance to do it, in public, if they want to get out of a penalty. The higher the penalty is, the cringier the fic gets.

7. Find a solution to the lestappen followgate

Everyone and their mothers has been asking for one thing and one thing only : a Lestappen title fight. I think Charles could use some motiviation, so here is my humble suggestion : tell him that if he wins, Max has to follow him on Instagram. If he loses, it's the other way around. Believe me, this diva couldn't take it and would tranform whatever atrocity-car Ferrari gives him into a rocket. He's done it before for the sake of winning, believe me he'll do it again to get Max to follow him.

Thank me later.

[clearlyclairesblog]

Max: Do you not understand what I'm saying?

Daniel: I get it Max, I do, but it's clear he wasn't thinking straight, alright?

Max, angrily: How do you call someone 'babe' in front of the cameras without thinking straight, uh?

Daniel: Is the word 'babe' the problem or the fact that it was for Matt?

Max: What? No! He could have said that to fucking Carlos for what I care, it doesn't change the fact that he should only call m-

Charles, entering the apartment: Babe, I'm home! Oh, hi Daniel!

Max, glaring at him: Hi, babe! How was your meeting, babe? Got something to tell me, babe?

Charles: *looks at Daniel confused*

Daniel: Right, I think I'm going to go.

Max: No babe, stay! We can play some Fifa.

Charles, even more confused: Did I miss something here?

Max: I don't know, you tell me. I'm not the one who called a complete stranger 'babe' on cameras for everyone to see.

Charles, frowning: What? What di- oh! He didn't delete that? Mon amour I'm so sorry, I just- you know how confused I stil get with English.

Daniel, whispering: That's true, he still says my name the Italian way.

Max, rolling his eyes: Do you swear you didn't do it on purpose?

Charles, hand on his heart: I swear, I meant to say 'mate' but I wasn't functioning at the moment.

Max: Do you swear it meant nothing to you?

Charles: Absolutely nothing. Come on, it's Matt, he's got nothing on you. You're my babe. Only you. Come here.

Max, leaning closer: You're going to have to apologize properly. I already know how you could do that.

Daniel, walking to the door: Ugh, yeah guys, uh, do your things, I'm leaving. Bye!

* some time later, Lestappen's bedroom*

Max, in between kisses: You're not allowed to say the word 'babe' outside these walls anymore.

Charles: Not even to you?

Max, smiling: Mmh, you're right, I love it when you call me that. You can call me babe when we're not home, allowed.

Charles, giggling: That should be another one of our rules.

Max:

Charles:

Max: How many rules do we have?

Charles: Ugh, fourteen last time I checked. I can't remember them tho, they're stupid.

Max: Well, rule fifteen is not going to be stupid. It should go like this:

LESTAPPEN RELATIONSHIP RULE N.15: WE DON'T USE THE WORD 'BABE' OUTSIDE OUR HOME UNLESS IT'S FOR EACH OTHER.

Charles: Alright, babe, I'll send it to Pierre, he's the one with the complete list.

* later that evening *

Pierre, opening a group chat to send a screenshot: You guys, they're making rules for themselves now!

George: I knew this day would come.

Alex: They grow up so fast!

Lando: I'm screaming! Is this about the P1 video? @ Carlos you owe me 20 bucks!

Fred: So we have 15 rules now?

Pierre: Yes!

Daniel: Next one is 16 so it should be dedicated to Charles.

Fred: I'm having lunch with them tomorrow, I'll keep you updated.

[ladysomething]

rushed back home. pretty sure I broke like 7 different basic driving rules from the driver manual in my country that even kids are aware of. also my best friend says he's never letting me drive ever again. he also says you're kinda a mastermind. I may not have a driver license for tomorrow, or a car to drive, but I do have new hatred and also a new level of crush (ness? English-is-not-my-first-language moment) for Max Verstappen. and my brother as well. he also pleged alliance and eternal honor to you, Madds.

5+1!!!!

1. honestly Charles, I get you. cramps are how some criminals should be punished. make them suffer for their wrongs. make them regret ever living. make them feel pain for comitting their crime. (says the lawyer. at this rate, for tomorrow I will loose not one but TWO licenses. who cares)

2. as stated beforehand, the Max crush that you've been cooking in me with this fic is absolutely massive. gigantic. astronomical. and let me tell you something. Max taking care of Charles during his pre-heat melted me. my ex boyfriends should learn from him, because that's the bare minimum and yet they didn't do shit. and Charles here has this lovely dumb idiot (affectionate) while he hates him. honestly goals. where do I buy one.

3. I kinda understand why Max distanced himself from Charles. sorta. actually barely. but the guilt trip that my man has to be going through has to be though. what reminds me

4. FUCK MATTHEW AND FUCK LANDO AND FUCK THE DOCTOR WHOSE NAME IS NOT WORTH OF ME TO REMEMBER. oh and FUCK FERRARI AND FUCK MCLAREN AND FUCK EVERYONE. GO TO HELL PIECES OF SHIT. yeah, that's it I think. my poor baby Charlie (IBEIDNDOSNDLSBDOWHEODIAJS I went batshit with that. just so you know. worried Max might be my favorite Max. maybe slightly behind horny, protective and obedient Max) did NOT deserve that and everyone should rot in the darkest pit of hell for that. no less. cramps for you all.

5. we love Jean-Luc in this house. that was the resolution the three of us got to. my man deserves a cold pillow on both sides, a cup of tea and the chance to see his family anytime and to be happy forever. please don't make me hate him, I love him too much.

+1. if you've told me at the beginning of the year that I would be eating dinner with both my brother and my roomie while we were reading a quite explicit Lestappen omega verse fi in TV, no less, I would've not only not believed you. but died of shame or something like that. my yearly choice of a dead dove do not eat fic (I've been learning about tags!!!) has united this household. who would have thought that.

+2. Max is down BAD. but you know what, so is Charles. they really are exactly like the other. when Charles said that he was feeling lonely all I could think of is how Max said the exact same. and the hospital part had me kicking my feet, jumping around excitedly. then I alarmedly had to go all the way up to see in which chapter we were. and after, I just felt scared. chapter 16 is my worst nightmare it seems. how funny.

+3. hun, how has been your hand? I hope you're feeling better 🩷 as much as I love weekly uptades I can't help but feel worried that you might push your hand a lot. the chapter was absolutely lovely but remember to rest please 🙏🏼 speaking on my behalf and the other two readers' (and I hope everyone else's) we don't want you to be hurt, regardless of the fic.

thank you for the early uptade, even if now I'm a reckless driver to my country's police. at least I didn't read it while I was working. I don't know how I could've managed that.

I will take eternal allegiance wherever I can get it. I am making men kneel before me, one at a time, and so I'm glad to add two more to my collection.

cramps as a form of punishment .... you get it.

no because that whole heat sequence with Max .. melted me. he's so written by a woman coded in this fic (which you'd hope. considering he is. lmao)

he's hurt!!! he's sad!!! Max is going through a phase right now ok

the doctors name is Leo, and funnily enough Charles got Leo the same week that chapter came out and I was like ... Charles reads wygig confirmed

THIS IS A JEAN-LUC STAN ACCOUNT and honestly????? I love that you all love him. maybe he should get his own fic one day. who knows.

+1. the war being over because you've bonded over the lestappen war .... there's something so cosmic about that.

+2. everyone being on the edge of their seats for 16 ... god I'm good.

+3. thank you for the well wishes! it's wayyyyy better now, thank god.

p.s. I think maybe your brother and your roommate would riot if you read it at work without them sooooo

[inchidentally]

tricky asks below! pls do not rb as that removes the readmore for some reason and I want to keep these out of tags <3

the fact that we're having to to discuss friendzoning about two friends anon we're really in it now aren't we

I want to take a moment direct ppl to this interview if they like Carlos tho bc his interviews are always so intelligent and thoughtful. you also get a much more authentic persona out of him when he speaks in Spanish. there are more videos on that account from that interview too.

I love that he listed Checo and Fernando so highly bc of course he gravitates toward ppl he can speak to in his born language. the three of them personality wise are pretty different but whenever they move toward each other you can tell they're in compatriot mode.

but yea what he said re Lando and racing is exactly what Lando says - and what nobody ever wants to post except begrudgingly. the 'bromances' are dressed way up by fans and media but there is no deeper narrative and it's not that serious. when they're driving, all friends disappear bc winning is the only reason to even be in F1 let alone the only way to stay in it for certain. even the comments on videos like that are next to nothing bc they're not "shippy" videos. but it's authentic and true that these guys are F1 drivers first and foremost and wayyyy after that it's nice to have some regular buddies to hang with. we should all be able to put shipping aside and appreciate the actual drivers these guys are and the fact that they can put aside their intense competitiveness to be so friendly.

asgfkasgfksag I love that last part anon. fr I've found it so funny that the larrie carlandos class Oscar in with all the women they despise bc it threatens their ship. it's like sexy Brazilian woman, sexy European woman, sexy IG Baddie, and... Oscar.

that's wild though about lestappen having their own larries. how in the hell do ppl look at Charles and Carlos and even bother pretending they dislike let alone hate each other. we literally have real life F1 examples of teammates who are neutral/uninterested in each other w KMag and Hulk and teammates who bitterly hate each other w Ocon and Gasly. if Charles and Carlos were even in a dislike/disinterest category we wouldn't see them giggling and touching right up to the last day at Abu Dhabi this year. and side note but we also wouldn't see their gfs enjoying spending time together during races and events either, which Alex and Rebecca do.

I've seen that too it's insane. when has Lando NOT considered Silverstone the most important race on the calendar for him?? and nothing will beat his high over that podium until his actual win, nothing. (the fact that he kept saying how Oscar deserved to be up there with him was just the icing on the cake)

and like can they please just remember here that Lando was excited and happy on that podium in Singapore for himself as well???? that his own result meant more to him than a Ferrari driver?? yes he was happy for Carlos but Lando is sort of an actual F1 driver and if he could've knocked Carlos' ass aside and gotten that top spot for himself he very. much. would. have!! and that the double podiums that followed meant more to him bc y'know the team he drives for get more points?? carlando is a miniscule part of Lando's F1 career and Carlos is less a part of his life than Max V in terms of drivers who spend non-driving related time with him. after that being George, Alex and Daniel. and then Carlos.

yea honestly I'm not sure if the larry element has always been in carlando fandom and the latest Netflix/Liberty Media commercialization of the ship has just amplified it or if these are a bunch of new ppl who only go for the unhinged accounts. but that side of the ship literally view Lando as someone who responds to Carlos and does nothing else so huge shock that they try to override his actual choices and his actual race weekend with Carlos literally years after Carlos left him for Ferrari.

I'm guessing it's enraging watching Carlos do with Charles all the jokey sexual/romantic things they kept wanting him to do w Lando but sorry folks for all that we slow down certain moments and obsess over them sharing an umbrella to walk down the pit lane it's literally brotherly behavior. I've got another anon who brought up my tags of carlando being Charles and Arthur and it straight up is. all the physical carlando stuff is what they do. and I say this as someone who fully does twist all those carlando moments into something romantic/sexual lol. but gotta be able to keep that line between reality and fantasy.

fortunately Lando is chronically online enough to brush this crap off and Carlos just sees the carlando fan stuff as decent publicity. but fingers crossed it doesn't escalate even further to Sky Sports or F1 pushing it and fans getting so crazed that Lando or Carlos has to put their foot down. if it's already swamping McLaren social media and Lando's fan accounts then expect it to get even worse.

the lack of Oscar's presence in all of these places is probably the lamest thing bc good lord the guy has a long term gf can they all admit that as Lando's ACTUAL teammate he has more relevance to Lando's career than any former teammate? and can McLaren please get their act together next season and bring back Unboxeds and stop splitting up Lando and Oscar content when they never did this with Carlos or Daniel?? sorry Oscar ain't a wacky character but we all happen to love his dynamic with Lando.

you just answered that question anon and it's exactly why I can't believe they want carlando back as teammates. as things are we get to have a nice sprinkle of carlando content throughout the season and no drama! do they truly want silly challenges videos so badly that they want to watch the entire friendship sink like a stone now that Lando would be challenging and beating Carlos AND that now it would be Lando as first driver and not Carlos? the Sainz family's warmth is there bc they never had to see Lando as a direct competitor or hindrance to Carlos' success. they'd turn on him in a fucking second when Carlos didn't get an update and Lando did or Carlos wanted to change the car but Lando didn't or Lando was the reason why Carlos missed out on a podium. the main reason why Charles and Carlos work so well through the drama is that they're such similar people and can keep a level head and distance from it all. Lando is n o t h i n g like Charles' personality. Lando cannot translate frustration and misery into anything, it just sits with him until he does better. Carlos literally said he didn't know what to do with Lando when he'd get into those funks. imagine all the god awful repeats of that carlando "breakup" clip from 2021 bc Lando can't hide anything on his face and he'd be fed up with Carlos or his family or himself and christ.

it would be so. so very bad. can they at least be happy that Lando's got a nice placid easygoing guy in Oscar as a teammate and carlando content still rolls in.

I could def see the fact that Oscar is neither older brother or younger brother age for Lando and they do all the same gen z references and the same hobbies is probably part of whatever they perceive as a "threat". like it's still such a reach but it would explain the way Lando fan accounts try to post as little Lando with Oscar as possible but dredge up 2019 slowed down Carlos shoulder bumps and shit lol.

truly I personally don't know if the Oscar and Carlos dingdongs play much of a part for carlando fans bc honestly Carlos has quite a few regular enemies on the track alsgfjlsagf. by this time they've got to know that. Carlos sometimes can't drop the red mist even hours after a race so Oscar just happens to have come in for a share in his rookie season! but especially with how much Carlos has actually seemed to chum around with Oscar before and after drivers parades etc (even ignoring Lando a couple times to do so !!!!!! gasp horror etc)

side note that I'd honestly be glad if Oscar chose never to get into golf bc ohhhhh the shit fit if he went golfing at the same time as Lando and Carlos. even though Lando golfs with tons of people and they always play in fours anyway.

I still personally think that the mostly straight women who buy into the bromances to the point of thinking this is how gay relationships actually look are pretty cold toward Oscar bc even Lando has said that Oscar's brought out a new level in Lando's driving and that he likes how calm Oscar is. so the fact that Oscar and Lando aren't fake gaying it up and they're also not doing a bunch of physical touch that can be edited and slowed down to look gay to those women has got to look like Lando being I guess unhappy or like they have no chemistry. so they'll allow that Oscar can be cute sometimes and maybe sometimes he can be cute with Lando. for a treat. but that in their mind Lando is meh about Oscar and is just dying to have the guy back who... actively chose to leave ??

I never saw that cartoon but I remember one from the summer that had Lando and Oscar together in a boat - SHIP CONFIRMED???? CARLANDO OVER??

jesus christ thankfully the drivers never see these comments.

and yikes at the meltdowns over that Carlos trip to Monaco bc he was with Rebecca the whole time and rumors were that they were looking at apartments. I do hate myself for liking gossip but it's literally in a sit back and enjoy the madness way lol.

askfgakg anon are you by any chance part of the sainz family?

(if I didn't answer your ask here it's probably bc it's something I'd rather discuss privately/don't want to stir up in fandom. feel free to message me tho <3 tumblr may also have devoured it bc it still does that sometimes)

[sennaverstappendiary]

monaco grand prix ✩ 28.05.2023

this race weekend, is probably, all in all, my second favorite weekend of the YEAR‼️‼️ i have so many incredible memories of this week, so so many i don't even know where to start!! 💗💌💘💝💥💥 i will start at the beginning!

in my personal life, things were really REALLY looking up! i was a few weeks into recovery treatment, the sun was shining, dear friends from australia were over for a few weeks, and uni was also going very well!! 💘💕🌷✨✨🌞🌞 i very vividly remember how beautiful the weather was, while i was writing my fuckass lestappen fanfiction in front of my laptop, texting emma and quinine and just having an AMAZING time 💌💘💝 like genuinely... the weather was even good enough to hold a bbq with said australian friends!! they are actually friends of my dad but i have stolen them. my friends now. 💥💥💥💥 i also did k3t with my best friend which was great LOL i was genuinely having one of the best weeks of my life already, even before the race weekend!!! 🌞🌞✨✨🥰🥰🥰🥰

i remember watching fp2 on friday, something i never do, and going out to eat with mom afterwards 💕💕 the vibes were SO good‼️‼️ on a similar note, i remember drinking sake at this good japanese restaurant a day later and wanting to be home in time for fp3 (i didn't make it, who gaf 😁)✨✨✨ watching fp2 was actually sooo fun i just remember max zooming and me being happy... just happy to be there to be honest as i should be always 🌞🌷✨

if i recall correctly, this was the first qualifying i watched with my brother, my dad, and my now ex all together 🥰🥰 it was a beautiful sunny day outside, we had to close the door because mom told me i was yelling too loudly (true) 🗣️🗣️🗣️ and i was so excited... my brother was too fucking late setting up the laptop tho so i missed cheflop crashing IMMEDIATELY 😭😭 little did we know his flop era had only just began... biami ruined him 😵😵 but of course. the main course of this meal. mayhaps one of the best moments of maxs career let alone season‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ FINAL FUCKING LAP. my brother was so so convinced fernando would get pole ("he got it maple, he got it") because uhm obviously... and also he wanted fernando to win (i told my brother to wait till spain... and then till canada... and then etc etc etc) 😁😁 and somehow, idk how, but i told my brother: just you wait (yes sebastian vettel 2010 reference yada yada 🥺🥺🥺) because i had FAITH in our boy. religious sennacore faith idk what got into me that day 😭😭😭💕💕💕💕💕 i said: he can do it. and i proceeded to lose my voice a second later. what. the. fuck. is wrong with that man WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM. HOW MUCH DID HE MAKE UP IN THAT FINAL SECTOR??? OH MY GOD. MAX VERSTAPPEN FINAL SECTOR MONACO QUALIFYING 2023 YOU WILL ALWAYS BE EXTREMELY FAMOUS AND LOVED 💘💘💘💘💕💕💕😭😭😭🌷🌷🌷✨✨✨✨✨✨💌💌🇲🇨🇲🇨🇲🇨 genuinely i was in tears almost that was one of the best moments ever. period. and then also lestappen moment (i like your suit!) like OKAY? that was made for maple and maple only 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😁😁😁😁💥💥💥 i IMMEDIATELY went out for ice cream with my (now) ex after, being the happiest person in the world, and celebrating max's pole with the usual (a cold cider 🍎🍷). literally one of the best days of my year. except charles penalty but thats neither here or there (i was very upset)

THE RACE ITSELF WAS ALSO SO FUN‼️‼️‼️ like really really fun!!! the rain made everything a little bit more unpredictable, and in some cases, really fucking funny lmfao 🌧️🌧️🌧️ as seen in the gif of lance double-tapping, or checo binning it, or carlos in the wall... in all the chaos i was just very happy that max stayed out of all the drama.. when oscar afterwards said he was following what max was doing because that seemed safe 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕💕💥💥 SO cute. also esteban ESTIE BESTIE IS ON THE PODIUM BABY 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ iconique moments left and right. 🥰🥰🥰 AND OF COURSE max ayrton parallels w monaco and rain. yeah. 🥰🥰🥰

afterwards i think i bbqed, very very happy and content with my life and with the way things were going for me. it sounds a bit silly, and i don't want to attribute ALL my happiness this year to formula one, but this weekend... it's such a good example of how much this means to me. if max hadnt won, would i still have been happy? yes! of course! but thats because i still had something to look forward to, new friends to discuss it with, a new sense of purpose and joy. thank you formula one, thank you max 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕🌷🌷🌷🌷🌞🌞🌞🌞💌💌💌

✩ song of the race: wash - miki matsubara / extra - ken ishii

this will probably be the only time this season that a race has TWO whole songs associated with it, but the reason why is because these are two GREAT songs i came to know during the weekend of monaco‼️‼️💌✨ wash should become the intro for f1 and extra is just SUCH a good trippy song lol 🥰🥰

[yesloulou]

max hugging charles‘s waist is so important to me. very personal. very needed. and a huge thank you to you for making gifs for these moments my lestappen heart needs them like air to breathe 🥰

ALSO i‘ve been wondering if i‘m just forgetful but have we ever had a proper lestappen hug??? like anytime i try to think of one between them i only ever remember that awkward half-hug thing they did at one point (which was like…my lovely honey bunnies, what in the embarrassing hell was that..gr)

Thank you lovely lovely anon!!♥️ I’m so glad you enjoyed the gifs bc I had so much fun making them. Like you just do something with your phone and then a precious little moment is defined in the digital world forever. And it’s a little picture that moves by itself. It’s a bit of a wholesome experience I didn’t think would be😇

And you’re absolutely correct. We haven’t had a proper lestappen hug. That awkward precious lil half hug is all we’ve got so far. But as another anon pointed out, Max might have been working up his courage to do so. And we should have faith in this boy bc I’m starting to believe he (actually) has game. That walking away without maxplaining leaving sharl high and dry thing today?? Love love love that for him 🫶