#we see her try to manage the dissonance as loudly as 10 does when she Cant separate them so much
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overthinking it
#esp bc of the contrast with 10s face#who was so loud abt it#i think 12 had things most like balanced. was somewhat at peace with the cognitive dissonance of how he carried out his values#and also found maybe the best way to carry them out#13 deals with the cognitive dissonance by just i think compartmentalising like crazy?#like hard split between the doctor thats Nice and Fun and the doctor that kills#we see her try to manage the dissonance as loudly as 10 does when she Cant separate them so much#'you saw right? i gave it a chance'#10 doesnt try to separate as much i think#but then once 13 is forced to be the doctor that kills by necessity in villa diodati#after that i think she just stays on that side#she just accepts being the doctor that kills. she commands the fam like theyre soldiers. yaz like a second in command#she directs actual unit soldiers without any resistance whatsoever#like theres a kind of acceptance to it that i think shows here between them#no im wrong abt 12. there was a resignation there but no peace with it. hes a doctor of war but that doesnt mean he wants to be#he wouldve killed himself over it#so 13 KNOWS she is a doctor of war#and when people in s11 are like 'youre great i wanna be just like you' she looks ashamed bc she knows they shouldnt be#because SHE shouldnt be. but she is. and i think she just kinda gives in in the second half. stops pretending shes not#so these two also know#'name: the doctor. occupation: not a doctor'#its interesting tho bc the war doctor was like. the disowned one. the one removed from the personal history from memory#exactly like all those in the fobwatch#i think she assumes theres probably a lot of doctors in there like the war doctor#who did things that would undoctor them#occupation: not a doctor
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