#we must all negotiate our own fluid ways of relating to death

[not-poignant]

hello! thank you for replying to my ask abt finding the enthusiastic consent post. i’d like to ask about your approach towards writing death? whether it’s evolved over the years? the representation of death in media vs your own preferred version in fiction. also! what does death mean to ash glashtyn?

Hi anon!

Those are some huge questions, and I definitely can't answer them all in a lot of detail otherwise I'd be writing a 6,000 word post. So I think we need a cliff notes version or something.

I suppose I'd first say there's a lot of different kinds of deaths, and a lot of different ways to feel about it. So I can't give you a neat answer because my approach to writing death is 'treat every situation as unique' and not some kind of unified approach?

I don't even treat it with the same level of respect every time, depending on whether the death is a character we've never gotten to know, vs. if it is one we have, vs. (in the case of murder) how the character doing the character feels about it, vs. whether the character dying is a villain or a hero or neither. How I approach Augus hunting vs. Gwyn killing the otterkind family vs. Mikkel dying were all extremely different. There's no...similarities between them re: how I thought about them!

Therefore, I don't know whether that's something that's evolved over the years. The fact is, I don't sit there thinking 'what's my approach to writing death' before writing it, I just write it. I know I'm influenced by the many books I've read and philosophies I've read and more, but I don't have rules about it or anything like that. I just try and write it with the weight it deserves in the moment. Sometimes, that's no weight at all. Sometimes it's with a great deal of lasting gravitas. Death is ordinary and profound depending on who it's impacting, why, and how folks are thinking about it. And that's the same as with everything ordinary and profound (like sex, and people being born, and everything in between).

the representation of death in media vs your own preferred version in fiction

Tbh idk! There is no unified, universal way of 'representing death in the media.' It changes! It changes within the same series! How Scrubs wrote death in its media depended on the characters being impacted and the point of it! Sometimes it was comical and mundane, sometimes it would have you weeping, there's no such thing as a unified representation of 'death in the media' and I don't have a 'preferred version' in fiction. I have written mundane death, unimportant death, ugly death, grotesque death, meaningful death, profound death. And as with everything, it just depends on what that part of the story calls for.

I would also say quite honestly I don't really care about how I represent it that much. Like, I care as much about it as I do about any part of my writing. It's not a core reason behind why I write and it's not crucial or fundamental or really important in many of my stories. Like, it's not that 'I don't care' - but I'm not researching death and the symbolism of death the way I'm researching trauma and trauma recovery, anon. I have only ever bought one book on death. I have bought over 50 on trauma.

(For those curious about death narratives in general, I highly, highly recommend the series Six Feet Under, which was quite ahead of its time across a few different areas, but is one of the best shows - hands down - for the many different ways we can look at death, and the many different things it can mean to us, from nothing, to everything).

what does death mean to ash glashtyn?

You're not gonna like this anon, because my answer is going to be 'see above.'

As in, it depends! How Ash feels about his own death changes over time. How he feels about the deaths of others depends on who it is that's dying, and his connection to that person, and that will also not be static and going to change over time!

I don't actually know of anyone who always sees death the same way, of every person, all the time, always. That doesn't mean people like that aren't out there! But generally speaking how someone feels about the death of say, weeds they're pulling out of the garden, is going to be very different to their own death, the concept of death, and the death of their loved ones. We are often negotiating our relationship with death, from the moments we don't negotiate it at all because we deem the death/s insignificant (people killing cockroaches come to mind, or people not thinking about the creatures in their back garden dying every second), to the moments we deem it significant because of the person's closeness to the person or creature (or plant or object) that has died.

The ordinary/profound things in life just require a natural fluidity, because they're not static even though they're ever-present. I can't pin any single thing down on the page, anon, because there are an infinite number of ways to respond to and think about death, and an infinite number of ways for the mass media to conceptualise it, and for folks like me to write it.

I have no rules, I have no single approach. Sometimes it matters, sometimes it doesn't. It's...very...not something I can pin down, I'm afraid!

[creativitytoexplore]

Diplomatic Etiquette and the Alien Menace by Andrew Johnston https://ift.tt/34Gnxic Andrew Johnston shares a hilarious guide to etiquette for dining with an alien species.

Welcome to the Exterran Federation Guide to Human-Kro'dyl Relations. Perhaps you are reading this because you are an Envoy considering a xenodiplomatic post, or a businessman seeking practical advice on alien relations, or a member of the public curious about this strange new species. The members of the Kro'dyl Dominion have a reputation for belligerence, but they are also a species marred by cruel and inaccurate rumors, as well as simple cultural misunderstandings. These guides are intended to set the record straight on this species while also helping the reader navigate their culture with caution and sensitivity. FORMAL DINNERS As with any other civilized species, the Kro'dyl often conduct diplomatic and business affairs in well-appointed dining halls. Our research suggests that humans make more mistakes at these functions than any other, even Envoys with prior experience in xenodiplomacy. Take heed the experiences of our dignitaries, and remember to always behave with the utmost care when dealing with Kro'dyl in such formal circumstances. Introductions - Cross-cultural problems can begin before the guests are seated. Many people report being attacked by their patrons as they are led to their seats, but this is an understandable error. Yes, it is not at all uncommon for a Kro'dyl to lunge at a patron from behind and seize them around the neck, but this is not an act of hostility but rather an especially aggressive greeting, comparable to a very firm handshake. This manner of grappling is simply not in line with Kro'dyl combat (which would consist of driving the dominant claw into the victim's upper back, shredding the heart and lungs and causing unconsciousness and death before the blow was even felt) but rather aligns with their very rough-and-tumble means of addressing one another. Of course, this may still lead to a brief loss of consciousness, as happened to Envoy Bragh at his first state dinner; in the event that this happens, it is not considered rude to aid the afflicted party. Thanks to Envoy Bragh's fellow dignitaries, he suffered no significant neurological damage and has been cleared to return to work as soon as he feels he is ready. Introductions, Ctd. - Observant patrons may note that Kro'dyl frequently strike each other in the jaw, often with alarming force. This is considered an act of endearment, though it is one that they exclusively perform with one another. There is no record of a Kro'dyl striking a human in the face as a form of greeting. Some Envoys, whether out of a desire to better fit in or a simple misunderstanding, will follow suit and strike at their hosts with their bare fists. This is highly discouraged, as Kro'dyl saliva contains a truly remarkable assortment of exotic pathogens that proliferate in the human bloodstream after entering through a split knuckle. In this regard, take well the lesson of Envoy Kaspersky, who just recently recovered from his own bout with a Kro'dyl-sourced bacterial infection known among the crew as the "howling toilet trots." Serving the Wine - All formal Kro'dyl meals are prefaced by the serving of a wine known as "Blood of the Conquered." Please don't let the name discourage you from partaking - chemical analysis in Exterran labs shows that this wine contains no animal fluids at all, no toxic compounds, and has a very reasonable ethanol content. Further, please do not be offended if one of your dinner companions spits some of that wine into the air or into your face. The Kro'dyl are renowned expectorators and some of them are known to demonstrate this skill openly, especially if the dinner comes after a recent military victory. If you should be struck by expectorated wine, simply clean yourself off (excusing yourself from the table if necessary) and behave as though it did not happen. Some of you may have heard of Envoy MacLain, who experienced this firsthand and reacted in a strongly negative manner to the Kro'dyl sitting next to her. Rest assured that the rumors were exaggerated and she will be returning to work as soon as she has completed physical therapy. Delicacies - Ey'koal is a type of succulent that grows on one of the Kro'dyl worlds and is often served as an appetizer or alongside certain main dishes. There are two varieties of ey'koal, one which has orange veins running through its tissues and one with purple veins. The Kro'dyl do not distinguish between the two, and tend to serve them mixed together, perhaps for aesthetic purposes. However, the purple veined plant contains alkaloids that, while they have little to no effect on the Kro'dyl, are extremely potent deliriants, causing protracted, horrific hallucinations in humans. Fortunately, there appear to be no long-term effects from consuming hallucinogenic ey'koal - Envoy Hussain, who inadvertently consumed a very large amount, recovered with no lasting neurological effects, although her fellow Envoys report that she does still flinch when confronted with cacti. Toasts and Rituals - Many problems stem from the fact that Kro'dyl often wear their weapons to the table, a practice that seems to stem from the constant parade of undeclared wars that marked their early history. They are known to use these weapons in their celebratory toasts. One common post-battle toast involves the head of the table taking the signature Kro'dyl ranged weapon - a sort of needlegun - and firing several flechettes while the gathered company grumbles a victory chant. While this is somewhat dangerous when done out of doors, the Kro'dyl are known to do this inside and even on their ships, where the risk of ricochet is great. It is not considered rude to duck out of the way during this ritual. Ducking too late can lead to unintentional injury, as it did in the case of Envoy Takahashi, though you will be pleased to know that due to cutting-edge Exterran surgery, he is expected to recover at least 70% functionality in his right eye. First Aid - Patrons at Kro'dyl formal dinners are strongly advised to bring a small first aid kid in the event that anyone suffers a minor injury while at the table. In the absence of such preparation, Kro'dyl treatments are highly effective (more so than comparable Exterran treatments in some cases) but may not be pleasant for the recipient. They do not employ anesthesia of any kind and the sole means of disinfectant appears to be extreme heat. In the words of Envoy Woodland-James, who received treatment for a small laceration resulting from a knife mishap: "Fire. It's all fire. No more fire, please God, no more fire." Dinner Conversation - The rules for conversation with Kro'dyl are no different than those for formal dinners with any other species - keep to lighter topics, avoid areas of controversy unless the hosts bring them up, always be diplomatic when answering questions, and exhibit the utmost sensitivity when making comments. It's here that we really must address the case of Envoy Thayer, who was detained by the Kro'dyl for several days, apparently due to his insistence on employing humor that his hosts found offensive. The good news is that we were able to negotiate his peaceful release, and some of Exterra's finest surgeons have agreed to waive all costs in reattaching the severed hand.