#we love nns in this house xoxo

[kysonwrites]

Can you do one where the reader just got five months sober from Sh and the triplets spend the whole day congratulating her and making her feel loved thx xoxo <3

hiiiii, sure i can! :)

↳ summary: reader is s̶e̶l̶f̶ h̶a̶r̶m̶ free for five months, and her friends congratulate her.

↳ warnings: mentions of s̶e̶l̶f̶ h̶a̶r̶m̶, please please do not read if this is a trigger for you.

↳ author's note: if anyone is struggling with mental health, please do not be scared to reach out, and talk to me. i love you all, and only want the best for you guys.

↳ disclaimer: reader is female, she/her pronouns used!

today meant a lot to me, to anyone who had to see me suffer through what i did.

today was my five months of being self harm free, and i couldn't be happier.

anyone who had to see my go through what i did is happy, especially my best friends nick, matt, and chris.

they were coming to pick me up, they wanted to celebrate this day with me.

i heard a honk outside, and loud yelling which i assumed was chris. i ran out of my bedroom, and exited my house.

"shorty!" nick yelled out of the van window, and opened the door. he jumped out and gave me the biggest hug. "proud of you." nick whispered, and rubbed my back before letting go.

"thank you." you smiled at him, he nodded and stepped back so i could get into the van.

"y/nn!" chris shouted, putting his fist out so i could bump it, i did. i smiled and put my seatbelt on.

"y/n!" matt also screamed, he dabbed me up and we pulled out of my driveway. chris put a song on, and we all sang along.

we drove to a restaurant to eat at, and parked in a parking space. we all got out of the car, and chris put his arm around me as we walked into the doors.

"hi, four?" the lady spoke, pulling menus out.

"yes please." nick said, turning to me to look at my necklace.

"okay follow me." the lady said, walking over to a booth.

"yay booth!" chris yelled, taking his arm off from around me and jumped into the seat. matt sat next to chris laughing in embarrassment, the lady laughed and walked away. nick sat in the booth, and waited for me to sit down next to him.

"what are you guys filming today?" i ask them, picking up my menu to look at.

"we aren't today." nick said, looking at his menu also.

"oh, why?" i asked, looking at him.

"um, because we want to spend the day with you obviously?" chris said, doing the neck thing he does.

"duh." matt says, dabbing chris up.

"you guys don't have to put stuff on hold for me, especially work." i said, smiling at them softly.

"dude, you're like our sister. you mean a lot to us, y'know?" nick said, putting his arm around me and pulling me closer into him.

"stop before i literally cry." i giggled, covering my face.

we had the best day, like i said i’ve never been happier.

[puretalents]

❝    what    do    i    have    to    do    to    prove    it    to    you,    then    ?    actually    destroy    you    ?    tell    me,    i’ll    do    it.    ❞

❝ i would love to watch you try, little mouse. ❞

[vicxy]

hiiii! so regarding the tarot card game, i got: the world and the empress. and my north node is in capricorn in 3rd house. looking forward to your diagnoses, thanks in advance and take care. xoxo

Hello!

The Empress: 3 might be a significant number for you. You definitely have prominent earth or in the very least are a grounded and stable person. You might have Venusian influence in your chart, maybe Libra? You could be a loving and warm person. Sensual and charismatic. You make a good parent because of how nurturing you are. Ethereal and intelligent. Toward men, they could see you as the “perfect woman��� (if you are one.)

The World: With this card here, 21 might be a significant number for you. You could have prominent earth or maybe you are a Saturn dominant. You are an open minded person; you see the big picture and you understand why things happen when they do. You could also be empathetic and grounded. You are humanitarian, and could have a “everything happens for a reason” mentality. You are also optimistic and live life to the fullest. You are very self aware, and there could be many people that like you. This card can indicate being passive— you are so understanding that you lack perspective and refuse to take sides. You can also be a perfectionist, and when something goes wrong, your hopes can get dashed. You might be a lucky person as well. Mature and wise. You have seen a lot, “been there done that” vibe.

Past Life NN Theory:

Alright, now I’m going to explain why I talked about past lives and stuff. Since the North Node is something like what we need to learn or what we need to do to achieve our highest self and grow in this lifetime, I feel like it would be safe to assume that you south node in this life represents or indicates the type of person you were in your past life? It can also show the you when you were younger. (Especially your flaws)

Since you have NN in Capricorn in the 3H, you would have Cancer South node in the 9H. This shows that maybe in your past life you could've been someone who was very sensitive and withdrawn, perhaps also very flighty, and you might have to unlearn that in this life. With Capricorn NN, be careful of placing your being too critical of your own work.

That's all I have, good day!

[happily-lost-in-oc-writing]

Broken constellations, Chapter 3- desperate mistakes

Jessica's POV

"Why." She says, looking at me, with something like desperation,

"Why..?" I glance at her, before realizing what she's asking. .

"Why do you all torment me? What did I do to you to piss you off so bad? This place is hell enough without you- and your- bullshit...." She trails off, looking away.

My hands tighten on the steering wheel and I take a breath in as I park, and I want to tell her that I have a good reason. I want to tell her I'm sorry and I would've never gone along if I knew her but I don't know her and I don't know what to tell her.

"I see." She says, Angry and hurt. I move my hands to say something but nothing comes, and she storms off. I turn off my car and slam my head into the dash, fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. DAMMIT!

I get out of the car and go after her, hoping I can compose the words to explain I am a horrible human being who deserves to burn in Hell?!?

I rush in and Amber smiles, pulling me to our group. Rex frowns at me, and Erika smiles falsely.

"You ran off last night-"

"Why don't you shove Erika in it. You didn't mind doing that when I was upset last night." I snap, and Amber frowns.

"Happy V-Day!!!!" Amber smiles, tossing little Valentine's out. I see Quincey Addams passing- she's a cute girl. Nice. She's got bright blue short hair in a curly pixie cut, a pink beanie and a pink hoodie with a jean jacket and skinny jeans with boots. She's carrying a basket of baked goods and smiles at me, I take the chance to ignore Erika and Rex and smile back.

"Happy valentines, Quinn!"

She blinks and smiles really wide,

"You too Jessica!!! And uh," she leans in and whispers, "congrats on Cassie-" she giggles and runs off- I feel myself turn pink before looking at Amber.

"Happy V-day Am." I smile at Amber and notice Cassiopeia arguing with teddy at the vending machine. I pull back until she goes inside and walk in with the group, ignoring Erika and Rex, Amber stands between us to ease the tension. All I can focus on is the situation, and how Cassiopeia was the only person who asked about it. And she had some solid advice. And how I've been nothing but absolutely horrid to her just because I could. I sit down and give her a smile, at some point in that blur of a morning.

Amber and I go to math, and I see Cassiopeia curl over in her seat, conflicted. I want to walk over and tell her it's okay and I'm sorry and that I want to know her, but I find myself lacking the confidence and the words. She hands Amber three sheets of pictures, and I take two, writing down a note.

I need to talk to her.

I might go crazy if I don't.

•T•i•m•e•s•k•i•p•

After school I hurry to my car, Amber following me. Erika starts Getting in and I turn around and glare.

"Don't." I bark, feeling my breath get quicker and angry.

She rolls her eyes and puts her hands up like she's surrendering and strolling away. Amber gets in, biting her lip.

"I'm sorry- you found out like that."

What.

"Excuse me?!? You- you knew?!?!?" I whip around to Amber and feel my heart break a little more.

"I- I've known since last summer... I was gonna tell you- but- you both seemed so happy and I didn't wanna mess anything up." She smiles sadly, and I drive silently.

"Are you- Okay.... Jessie...?" She looks at me, and I keep looking ahead, no Cassie. Dammit. I drive to her house in silence. Teddy lives over here, so does Erika. I pull up to her driveway, and she hugs me.

"I know you're not okay. I should've told you. I just didn't want to lose you guys. You're all I have anymore. You've seen my home. It's a war zone. I don't want you guys to be one too. I love you too much." She leaves that to linger in the air as she leaves the car, and I sit there, feeling my lip tremble and my eyes sting and I sob, my throat burns as I fail to compose myself. Why does it hurt so much?? I knew he didn't care about me but I also thought he loved me. Or maybe I wanted to think that...  I wanted him to be true. I wanted to have it with him. I wanted him. And now I've just got this- this empty pit in my gut that's burning and hurting and I want it to stop and I want the pain to go away, I want it all to stop. I haphazardly drive home, calming my shaking hands just enough to get back, and check the note on the fridge.

I cant breathe, every breath burns going down and rips it's way through my lungs and my stomach is on a tower of terror- it goes up and down and drops over and over again and I can't help but think of how much everything hurts right now. Everything is causing so much pain and I can't even see the damn wound. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. It makes me want to forget the day for at least a minute.

"Went out for the week, Doodlebug. Love you. Be back Friday."

I tear open the liquor cabinet and down the vodka, some tequila, and enough brandy to forget the next twenty four hours. I stuff my face with cold pizza and I sit on the kitchen floor, sick of emotions

"Cassieeeee" I remember I need to talk to Cassie. Yes. I need to do that. I want to talk to her right now. She makes the blurry shit clear. Yes. Rex is a dick and Cassie is warm.

With Rex being a dick, and Erika being a backstabbing bitch, and Amber being an emotional mess, Cassie is clean. Cassie is neat and comforting.

I get up and check the time: woah. It's 12:39 am. I stumble over and knock on the door . I keep knocking until she opens the door tiredly, in shorts and a hoodie that falls over her thighs.

"Jessica... what the fu-"

"Cassie we need to talk!" I hug her and pet her hair, hoping she'll listen. It's soft like it looks and fluffy, and she's warm. She's super warm. I wonder what her hugs feel like. "We need to talk like. I said in the note you read I saw you read it and. I wanna talk to you."

"Dear god you smell like a bar." She takes me up some stairs to her room: it's baby blue and there are fairy lights, a pastel day bed with a princess canopy around it, a white dresser and stuffed animals.

That's when it all got fuzzy.

And I woke up to Cassie's back, her in a bra, and curled up under the covers.

Fuck.

Cassie's POV- 12:39 am last night.

I had just finished watching a movie to get the day off my mind, a long walk home and getting chewed out, all I wanted to do was relax and recharge.

But my life has gone to hell, so you know that didn't happen.

There's banging downstairs on the back door, and i go to tell whoever it is to fuck off, when I see a very intoxicated, very exhausting Jessica "Jessie" Smith.

Joy.

I open the door, very much done with this grade-A, amateur fan fiction type bullshit.

"Jessica.. what the fu-"

She cut me off with incoherent slurs, saying my name and then trailing off. She stumbles into me and starts running her hands in my hair, mumbling "note-talk-we-yes"

"Dear god. You smell like a bar, you need to go home."

"Nn-Nnh!" She Shakes her head no- she probably won't remember half of this when she wakes up. She keeps insisting herself closer to me and I give in, bringing her inside and locking the door again (for safety), I push her up the stairs and to my room. I go to pull the mattress out of the closet when she just flops herself on my bed, I sigh. I'm so done with this,  I swear to god. She's the last person I want in my house, nevertheless my life. I sit down on the side of the bed and put my head in my hands, a headache forming. This- whatever this was, was something I would have to clean up in the morning. I groan and try to lay down, its better than having her drunkly crying or whining or something. I turn on the fan and lay down, taking my hoodie off. I think about the last two days, and part of me is happy I'm not alone.

But most of me wants to kill myself.

Jessica's POV- 5 am.

Cassie starts sitting up, sliding her hoodie on, and she shakes me. I sit there in shock, with a major headache. I can't remember last night. Cassie nudges me again, a little less gently.

"Get up. My dads gonna come here to wake me up soon. You need to be gone."

Shit. That's right, we have school. I sit up and get up, stumbling. She hands me my shoes and ushers me out.

I turn pink, and the thought crosses my mind and I have to know-

"Did we- you know...." I look at her,

"What-?!? No! Jesus, Jessica. Of course not. You came here drunk and crying and refused to leave." She whispers, rolling her eyes and pushing me out the back door.

"Ill.... see you at school...?" I ask, smiling awkwardly.

"Maybe." She says, shutting the door. I stand there for a second before making my way back to my place, shutting the door. I slide down it, and text Amber.

Jessie 🖤: hey Bichhhhhh. Feeling sick. Won't be in today. I love you, Amb. XOXO.

Amber 🤪: Okay, stay safe. I really hope we can work this out, Jessie. I don't want you guys at each other's throats.

I log onto my dads computer and shoot the school and email, before  going back to bed.

Cassie's POV: 6 am.

My dad opens the door, and I groan, curling up. He looks at me, and I frown.

"Dad, I feel sick. Can I stay home today?"

He frowns, and walks over to feel my head. He looks at me for a long time, before nodding yes.

"Cass, I love you. I don't know what's going on in your life- but you know you can talk to me. I'm your dad. I love you kiddo." He Walks out, and I lay back down, curling up and falling asleep. I wake up to a series of texts from teddy.

Teddy: where r you

We need to talk.

R you avoiding me?

Cassie this isn't funny.

We need to talk, Cass.

Are you at home?

I'm gonna drop by.

Answer me, Cassiopeia.

We need to talk about yesterday.

Why r you not answering me?!

Hey.

Ugh. I'm not entertaining him. After what he did yesterday the thought of seeing him makes me sick. Maybe he thought I was making an excuse or trying to get out- which I was, but I'm bisexual with a preference for women, and he needs to respect that.

No means no no matter what.

I go downstairs and see no one else is home, my mom probably went to the store and everyone else is at school, so. I have some much needed alone time.

I scrounge for the cold pizza and blueberry Soda, turn the TV on to the channel playing friends, and sit down with my junk food. After a few episodes, I clean up my plate and I hear a knock at the door. It's probably teddy, and I decide I better answer it than ignore him.

I walk and open it up, seeing the tall blonde with an uncharacteristic solemn look.

"Theodore." I say, closing the door and crossing my arms.

"Cassie. Don't do that. You know I care about you-" I roll my eyes as he talks. "What?"

"You care so much." I look up at him, a bit upset. "That's why you basically told me it was a phase. Really good friend, someone comes out to you and you insist that you can cure their gayness."

"That's not what I meant and you know it. You've been leading me on, if anything!"

" leading you on? I'm sorry. I'm sorry you're forcing your emotions on me and you're upset that they're not mutual. I don't want to see you right now Teddy." I turn around and he grabs my wrist. I ball my fist.

"Let go of me right now."

He moves his hands to my waist and pulls me to him, rough. Moving down my hips to-

"No!! Not until you see that-"

I turn around and punch him in the face, ripping my body away from him , I walk inside and lock the doors, I wait until his footsteps retreat and slump down it, feeling... wrong.

I curl up in a ball and cry.

I want my life back.

[wanderbitesbybobbie]

Explore Sagada: A Love-Hate Relationship

On Choosing Sagada as a Destination

Where do broken hearts go? Where do you find yourself when you are lost? I do not understand why my fellow travelers would instantly say Sagada. For some reason, I only found myself in the middle of trekking with sore muscles and exhausted legs. Soul-searching? Yeah, I felt my soul partly leaving my body out of fatigue. LOL. I am an ocean advocate and a self-proclaimed mermaid. But for the love of the Philippines, I chose to go North to go trekking and explore up there. I find mountaineering and trekking intimidating. It’s not for everyone. Though, it’s not my first time to trek, speaking by experience, I still find it quite overwhelming. It was an after-storm during the time we went up. I firmly consider that I would be able to help the locals of Sagada to rise up again after they were hardly hit by the typhoon through tourism. So, that was my deciding point. We’re going up to Mountain Province. Some roads were still under repair and undergoing clearing operations. But Dear Bobbie, don’t worry. THE LORD IS WITH US. I kept telling myself. Now this is the part where my love-hate relationship with Sagada begins.

A part of the trail to Bomod-Ok Falls

The “Dislike” Part First before the Good Ones

I AM NOT A BIG FAN OF SUPER COLD SEASON. Being the researcher that I am, I know that it is chilly there. I have experienced snow in Australia and Korea, but it’s a different kind of “cold” up there. The moment I stepped out of the van, I started sneezing like a wet cat. I kept asking myself, do I lack a layer of clothing on me? Did I not prepare enough? The sudden change of climate made me literally sick. I wasn’t so sure if I under-estimated the weather.

IT’S A VERY LONG AND TEDIOUS TRAVERSE.  Our group of 7 vans left Manila at 9:00 PM. We arrived at the Banaue Arch (our first stop) at about 8:00 AM. That was 11 hours of tiresome land-travel. This is not advisable if you tend to be car-sick during long travels.

LANDSLIDES AND ROUGH ROADS. There was a moment when our van passed by a recent land slide by the side of the road. A small rock fell on the van’s roof and I knew it came from some higher ground. Though roads in the North are fairly smoother than roads in the South, it becomes a different story once you enter CAR (Cordillera Administrative Region). Roads are long and winding, and muddy, and rocky, and… God knows what.

Smooth part of the long trek to Bomod-Ok Falls.

YOU HAVE TO BE FIT FOR TREKKING. Which I am definitely not. I spent my days working, and eating, and reviewing restaurants before my trip. With zero exercise and zero sleep, yeah, I braved Sagada trekking. If you plan on going to Sagada to trek, be prepared!

ONLY 1 ATM IN THE AREA. What was I thinking? This is Mountain Province. How could you possibly bring the machines with so much efficiency? It’s a struggle for vans and buses. What more trucks to bring the machines up? Thus, the expensive bank charge. Make sure to bring sufficient cash. Next ATM is about 4 hours away by van (LOL. Kidding! But half-meant.)

PUVs ARE VERY LIMITED TO NONE. During our first day, I slept in the room throughout the day. I was not feeling well and it felt like my head’s gonna explode. I even missed spelunking. So when I woke up at around 6:00 PM, I was definitely hungry. We went out to look for a place to dine in. Only to realize that there were no tricycles or even jeep around the place. No public utility vehicle at all, except for buses bound to Manila. You literally have to walk to your destination (no matter how near or far).

What I Absolutely Loved (Let’s not make it sound like I’m Ranting. LOL.)

Passing by Banaue Rice Terraces on the way to Mountain Province.

THE SCENERY. We started traveling at night so all I can see throughout the window was darkness and the headlights from the vehicles that we come across. But, it was quite a view when morning came, as the lush greenery of Mountain Province welcomed us through the bumpy ride.

Every bit of Sagada’s history is inside this place.

THE CULTURE. We got the chance to hear about the province’s culture during a talk inside Ganduyan Museum. Learning about how the province grew from a laid-back primitive land to a tourism spot is such an exceptional experience.

I survived a whole day of trekking, and now I’m finally here. The famous Hanging Coffins.

EVERY SPOT IS WORTH IT. Trekking to the beautiful Bomod-Ok Falls takes about 2 and a half hours from main jump-off point and about 2 hours back. Also, it will take you about 45 minutes of daunting trek to the Hanging Coffins from the Eco Valley Entrance. It was muddy, slippery, tiring, and life-threatening, but each spot was worth the sweat.

Team Sagada

DINING IS AN ACTIVITY ITSELF. If you are into peace and serenity, then Sagada is the place for you. Though restaurants are not strategically located beside each other, each dining place has its own specialty. Check out Log Cabin for posh Western Cuisine (review on this on a separate post). Also try Masferre for pastries and breads and the famous Yoghurt House to try Sagada’s finest desserts and authentic Yoghurt. Lemon Pie House is also a pride of Sagada together with Sagada Brew. But then again, dining is always better with good company. Saying hi to all the new friends I’ve met during this trip.

IT WILL TEACH YOU AN EXTREME LESSON ON PATIENCE. Whether it’s the long ride, or the tiresome treks, or the freezing water pouring from your shower, you have to endure. Good things don’t come easily. It takes time to achieve what’s worthy. Amazing things happen to those who are patient. Keep calm and carry on.

THE FRIENDLY PEOPLE. For I do believe that the very pride of a destination is its own people. It’s the kind of place where you still feel secure though you are already lost. It’s not that scary to ask for directions when in Sagada.

DIY Top-Loaders

TOP-LOADING SAGADA STYLE. It was definitely a one-of-a-kind experience to be riding on top of a jeepney’s roof while traveling from the mountains to downtown. It’s nothing for the adrenaline junkies who went to Sagada for a lesser strenuous trek. But for a person of the sea such as myself, IT WAS ACTION.

SAGADA ITINERARY

Day 0 – 9:00 AM Leave Manila, Mc Donald’s Centris

Day 1: Rice Terraces and Spelunking

8:00 AM Banaue Arch Arrival

9:00 AM Breakfast at Banaue

9:30 AM Banaue Rice Terraces View Point

10:00 AM Arrival at Clairence Inn

Our home for 3 days.

  11:30 – 12:00 NN Lunch

1:30 PM to 5:30 PM  Sumaguing Cave Spelunking

4.5 Difficulty Level on a Scale of 5 according to my friends. (It might be different if you are physically fit and well-practiced for caving and spelunking.)

7:00 PM Dinner at Yoghurt House

Day 2: Sagada Trek

7:00 AM Breakfast at Clairence Inn

8:00 AM Pick-Up from Hotel to Jump-Off Trail to Bomod-Ok

8:30 AM Start of Trek to Bomod-Ok

Bomod-Ok Falls

11:00 AM Bomod-Ok Falls (30 minutes Swim, if you dare.)

11:30 AM Trek back to Jump-Off

1:30 PM Late Lunch (Chicken Inasal, Sagada Style)

2:00 PM Sagada Weaving

3:00 PM Eco Valley, Trek to Hanging Coffins

3:45 Hanging Coffins

5:00 Back at Eco Valley Entrance

6:00 PM Ganduyan Museum (History of Sagada)

7:00 PM Pasalubong Center

8:00 PM Dinner at Log Cabin

Day 3: Last Day

Sea of Clouds at Kiltepan Peak

4:00 AM Pick up to Kiltepan

5:45 AM Mt. Kiltepan Peak, Sunrise Watching

7:00 AM Top-Loading downtown

8:00 AM Breakfast at Clairence

9:00 AM Free Time

10:00 AM Orange Picking

11:00 AM Travel Back to La Trinidad

Stop-Over at Mt. View Cafe for a nice view of Benguet and for Cheese Bars. Yeah, they’re crowding for that.

  You have to try these babies!

1:30 PM Benguet- Philippine Highway Highest Point

3:30 PM Arrival at La Trinidad Strawberry Farm

Go for the strawberry ice cream!

  P100/pack La Trinidad Strawberries

  Satellite Market where you can shop for goods that can only be found at La Trinidad.

5:00-6:30 PM Stop-Over, Super Late Lunch and Early Dinner at La Trinidad

7:00 PM Travel down to Manila

11:30 PM Arrival at Manila

Some Tips For Your Trip To Sagada:

Do not under estimate the chilly climate. Sagada doesn’t care if you’ve gone through snow in the Alps. I tell you, it’s a different kind of “cold”.

It’s best to go on Summer Season. I went up November so hello rainy downpours. Hello slippery trails.

Bring your trekking shoes/sandals. (PLEASE DO NOT WEAR FLIPFLOPS ON TREKS TO AVOID INJURIES.)

Buff-up before your trip. (Which I did not do and I sincerely regret. When in Sagada, it’s leg-day errday.)

Bring a neck-pillow to make you comfortable during the long land-travel.

Bring cup noodles and instant coffee. These stuff are expensive in Sagada. Some accommodations give hot water for free.

Book your accommodation downtown. Again, there are no public utility vehicles and some accommodations are really far from town. To maximize your time and stay, you can stroll downtown during free time.

Do not bring unnecessary items when spelunking and trekking. Make yourself as light as possible.

Try to sleep when you can. Sagada Activities are no joke! You need as much energy as possible.

ENJOY YOUR ADVENTURE. WAG MAG-REKLAMO! GINUSTO MO YAN!

I urge you to experience Sagada

It may be a love-hate relationship between me and Mountain Province, but at the end of the day, I will still choose to travel to Sagada. It’s not just a destination, it’s an experience.

If you want to visit Sagada please do let me know.

Check-out my travel video during my trip to Sagada here.

HAPPY TRAVELS!

XOXO,

          Explore Sagada: A Love-Hate Relationship was originally published on WanderBitesByBobbie