#we love cris no matter who she’s writing
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(Not sure if you will answer this, but I’m going to ask anyway sorry if it’s long :P)
I can only imagine the STRESS having to do with seven (eight if you count “the mother”) fungus infected Yandere’s (+a whole military complex) so here’s my question:
How will they react to Y/N having a mental breakdown?
(sorry if angs)
(Thanks for the ask:), and yeah. The problem with having a decent amount of characters is that I have so many things to write/draw about them, but don't know what would and will be liked/needed. Also hoped I captured a good enough vision of a mental breakdown. Don't know if that is what you wanted;-;)
(The Fungus universe)
Tw: Yandere, manipulation, slight abuse.
Oh dear… it was anticipated you would suffer a lot of pressure and fear being randomly rocked from your old life to this one. Tears tainting your once joyful face while you lock yourself away from any prying eyes, and taking out your anger on any who dared to try and enter.
How the leaders react:
The Liar: Expected. You are only human after all. Humans crack under the slightest change, unlike his own kind. Still with you gone… No. He can't let you screw over his plans. If you want sympathy, then you won't get it.
You can't cry forever, and to be honest he doesn't care enough to take action. Sure, hide away from your problems. See if he does something about it, dear.
Still, if he really had to fix it, it would only take a simple lie. Nothing more.
Poison: Hmm… That was quicker than expected. Some people can endure the pressure for longer periods of time. That’s too bad. Poison will try to get to the source of the problem. Through the closed door, providing more drug-like, artificial solutions than actual support. Since she knows the only thing that would truly bring you joy is your freedom, and well… she can't give you that.
The Cannibal: Oh, oh, oh. Fuck did he cause that? No, no. How did he- How…?!
Imagine a buffering browser, that is him at that moment.
He really does not know what to do or what to say to make you feel better;-;
Doppelganger: What? Really? You hiding away in tears? Good god, always knows how to push his buttons in the middle of practice.
“Dear, open the door, please… I promise I can help you”
Can he help you? He is pretty sure he can, even if the ‘how’ of the matter is quite blurry. He will try to persuade you with pretty words and promises, but if those don't work… well… haha. That door might need to be broken off.
Illusionist: Why are you hiding? Did… did they do something wrong? They did… but it was for the betterment of everyone. You gotta trust them. Please…
You might hear muffled pleas from the other side of the door as the humanoid insect tries to get you to come out. Cries that closely resemble a child begging for their parent.
“Please, do you feel lonely? We won't ever leave your side again we promise! Do you need to see something cute? We will give you cats, please! Come. Out!”
That’s the most they will do… well until they decide the Doppelganger might be a good person to help them out.
The Eye in the Sky: What? He is too busy for that, god. Fine.
It might feel like an insult when you hear a worker coming to your aid instead of the man himself. He’s busy god dammit. He doesn't have time for your temper tantrum.
The Priest: Oh that happened? That's truly awful… Don’t worry he will help.
Standing behind the door he will simply wait.
“Don't worry, dear. I understand this might seem like the end of the world. Take the time you need. I will be waiting until you decide to come out”
He is a patient man. He can wait for as long as you need, and if you decide to leave he will be more than happy to hold you in a loving embrace.
His wife on the other hand… will smile and nod, but her aching fingers can't help but visualize the pretty idea of tearing that damn door off. Why would anyone want to hide from them? Preposterous! They are sweet as angels.
(edit… I will KILL MYSELF. Like I keep forgetting my own fricking oc ‘Poison’ is mute;-;)
#oc#yandere#yandere story#yandere x darling#yandere x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#yandere oc#ocs#yandere character#yandere priest#yancore#yandere female#male yandere#yandere cannibal#yandere monster#yandere shapeshifter#yandere doppelganger
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While we're still wrapping our minds around the election results...
Can I introduce you to the Bkheet family?
Yahya Bkheet (@yahyabkheet-blog and @yahyabkheeblog) is a father of three who used to work in a coffee and spice factory. His wife, Sharbat, was a Geographic Information Systems (GIS) specialist, and recently celebrated her 28th birthday on Oct 31.
[Image source: x]
Their children are:
Mira: an intelligent girl who loves playing, reading, and writing. At night, she cries herself to sleep from hunger pains. Recently, Mira also caught the flu, which her parents couldn't provide her any medicine for.
Dima: equally intelligent and studious, she's also like me, someone who loves to swim!🏊 In other matters of good taste, Dima loves fried potatoes. Everyday, she asks her father to buy some for her, but he is unable, as potatoes cost $23 per kg, and a bottle of frying oil $15.
Anas: is, despite everything, a joyful boy who loves to play and make his family laugh. What he wants more than anything, his father says, is eggs, which cost $2.30 for the price of one! He also suffers from skin disease from drinking polluted water, which is incredibly dangerous for one so young, if left untreated.
Yahya also has an elderly mother he is taking care of, who suffers from heart disease and diabetes, without any means to afford treatment.
Yahya's family is currently living in a damaged tent, and are asking for your help to rent a house for the winter.
What can we do?
Despite the fact that their gofundme page has been up since May 16, they are still sitting at €6,062 / €30,000, and have only raised €6 today! Two days ago, Yahya told me he was unable to feed his children at all that day, and was in despair. When he spoke to me, he sounded defeated:
Do not let Yahya abandon all hope now!
I do not believe that none of you have any money, especially considering the results of that parent income poll @serial-unaliver has done in the past. Even if you're not in touch with those parents, why wouldn't you be willing to lose a little comfort to provide some for others? You could give up take-out. You could walk to work instead of taking the bus/Uber. You could get donation food for the week and give up your grocery money to others in greater need.
Help Yahya buy some groceries today!
Fried potato ingredients + a dozen eggs: $46 + $15 + $27.60 = $88.60
Don't let his children go hungry again today. I have donated €33. Can anyone else contribute something similar?
This fundraiser has been vetted here and here.
(tagging for further reach- pls message me for removal from the taglist):
@neechees @noble-kale @captainsaltymuyfancy @neptunerings @khanger
@postanagramgenerator @maester-cressen @doublycharming-tetraquark @claudia-de-lioncourt @claudiaeparvier
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@sar-soor @mossbawn @murderbot @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @stuckinapril
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JULY REC FICS
Hello, my sweets!! I wanted to try something out to provide my full and utter support to all the amazing writers I've come across in the form of monthly rec fics (starting this month). Join me in giving them love through comments and reblogs. It really is a joy to hear how you're doing as a writer. It makes up for all the angst we write lol
I will be going based on what I've read recently and not by the date the fic was posted. And the number of fics will depend on how much I've read the entire month. Also, please respect these writers. Some contents are 18+, so MINORS should not be interacting in any way, especially when the authors themselves specify it.
— ✿ — ✿ ✿ — ✿ ✿ ✿
Spencer Reid
✿ a question unasked by @easy-there-leftovers ↳ SOOOO ADORABLE. I'm a workaholic craze gal, so it speaks to me on a silly level.
✿ missing the happy hormone by @lavenderspence ↳ I'm a sucker for Spencer fluff this month, what can I say? This fic Tina made had my waterworks going on for about a minute because it's so sweet
✿ desk duty by @reiderwriter ↳ All you have to know is the amount of evil laugh I made while reading this
✿ the theory of love by @ophelia-is-complex ↳ Genuine intimacy is quite a challenge to write, but THIS ONE, this one had me in a sappy mood
✿ like nothing matters by @cerisereids ↳ gagged and had to pause the reading so many times because HELLO— had me spiraling at work
✿ the devils disguise by @qlossytbh ↳ I said I sobbed a little bit, but I actually cried so much I ended up taking a nap and felt better afterward. It's all fluff, though, don't get me wrong. I'm just very dramatic when the red devil's on the clock
✿ not so funny by @reidmania ↳ Angsty, that made me wanna start a fight with some random twiggy tall guy. Sooooo good!
✿ cloaked in passions touch by @raekensluver ↳ If you don't like Spencer's hands, you're fucking lying to yourself!!!!!
✿ language of devotion by @gghostwriter ↳ I'm in love with reid, and this fic just had me stumbling back onto his lap like a good gal
✿ this req response by @mandarinmoons ↳ Sorry, I'm not sure what the title is, but it's so adorable and got me to go to work, so kind of a lifesaver tbh
✿ hallucinate by @gghostwriter ↳ Oooo, this one was so cute, hehe. Honestly, I lean towards Spencer fluff lately just because I've been too overstimulated with work this past month, so READ THIS ONE ITS CUTE
✿ it's golden, like daylight by @dudeitiskarev ↳ I actually felt like I was reader the entire time I read this. It's well-written and so adorable and something that should be framed in a museum
✿ much ado about nothing series by @incognit0slut ↳ binged it all morning, and I was whipped !!! It's ongoing, so if I have to wait, so does everybody else
— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦
Aaron Hotchner
✦ choiceless hope series by @hotchfiles ↳ This series had me rolling over my bed on a Saturday. A lot of feelings getting played (mostly mine)
✦ beanstalk by @solardrop ↳ I kid you not; I was giggling like a weirdo when I read it. And that itself deserves the recommendation.
✦ too busy being yours by @hotchfiles ↳ Lari knows how to get a sick gal to giggle. I love bau!rossi!reader. I love Rossi as reader's dad, so I enjoyed it more than I thought I would
✦ ignorance by infatuation by @boneblushed ↳ Oh, this one was a nice snack while on my break at work. LOVED IT SO MUCH
✦ hungover by @basketonthedoorstepofthefbi ↳ Mmmm, such a good read! Plus Jemily is there sooooo
✦ from across the bar by @hotchscoffeecup ↳ Evil laugh ensues. A nice cuppa of some good ole kinky stuff
✦ doomed by @hotchfiles ↳ guys, I stopped my car in the middle of driving home just to read it, so it's THAT good. Honestly, I strongly encourage everyone to read all of Lari's works! She's my writer crush, if none of you realized it by now
✦ a bunch of cuties in love by @lavenderspence ↳ hehehehehehe this definitely did not remind me of that one older guy I used to flirt with who had an adorable younger brother that I babysat🤭
✦ schrodinger's cat by @none-of-your-bullshit ↳ angst on a Saturday morning is like taking a shot of soju before 11 am, and this one felt like it <3
how about you also comment your top 3 fave fics for this month to spread more love to our great writers?
#spencer reid#aaron hotchner#criminalminds#criminal minds#dr spencer reid#cm#ssa spencer reid#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotch x you#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner smut#aaron hotch fic#spencer reid angst#spencer reid blurb#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid series#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#ker's rec fics
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I just finished watching Daisy Jones and the Six and I wanted to ask if you could write a Charles SMAU where his wife passes away from illness and leaves a video behind for him to find happiness. They can have a little child together please. Thank you😊❤️
when i die, i want you to live | cl16 smau
PAIRING: charles leclerc x wife!reader SUMMARY: after battling illness, y/n unexpectedly succumbs to it much sooner than expected, leaving behind her husband and their daughter. 8 months later, charles is not coping very well, so your best friend hands him an envelope addressed to him from you. WARNING(S): mentions of death, sad A/N: ooh i love that show!! anyway, this is my first ever request (!!), so hope it's as u imagined 🫶
creds to @classiclitfreak for proofreading!! <3
yourusername posted to her story!
[ caption 1: I sure hope so!😌 ] [ caption 2: my heart is so full🥹💕 ]
charles_leclerc
liked by yourusername, arthur_leclerc, scuderiaferrari and 735,290 others
charles_leclerc Today, 27 years ago, is the very special day that brought me my beautiful wife and best friend. Forever grateful for that. Happiest of birthdays to you, Mon cœur ❤️
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username HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N WE LOVE YOU😍
username all time favourite wag ! 🥰
yourusername ❤️❤️
(liked by author)
username ly girl🫶
username oh she won😩
username **they. they're both literally perfect omg username nah u right my bad🫡
scuderiaferrari happy birthday y/n 🥳🥳
username if my man ain't like charles i don't want him
username real
yourusername
liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, yourbestfriend and 263,719 others
yourusername had the loveliest birthday with my dearest people!💕thank you for all the birthday wishes, they've been such a joy! 🥹 here's to another beautiful year, here's to 27🥂
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yourbestfriend ily to the moon and back ❤️❤️
yourusername love u so much🥹
username queen🫶
username 27 and still looks young af iktr! see what happens when u're unproblematic😌
username that's bc 27 IS young lol
charles_leclerc belle👸
yourusername 😘 username you guys are so cute omg username *cries in 29 and single*🤧
username girl drop the link to the dress RIGHT NOW @/yourusername
yourusername it's from my spring collection love! xx username you ate that y/n😌
iamrebeccad you look so pretty 💗
yourusername my girl 🤍
Three weeks later...
tmz_tv
liked by username, username, username and 1,005,862 others
tmz_tv Tragic news emerged in the early hours of this morning as Y/N L/N-Leclerc, a renowned fashion designer and philanthropist, passed away unexpectedly, just three weeks past her twenty-seventh birthday. Her untimely passing has left her family and friends in shock and disbelief.
In a statement released by her family, it was revealed that Y/N had been battling illness for an undisclosed duration. However, medical professionals had initially estimated a longer prognosis, making her sudden passing even more devastating.
During this profoundly sorrowful time, we extend our heartfelt condolences to Y/N's family.
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username wow and to think she was always so smiley even with all this going on behind the scenes
username a literal ray of sunshine🥹
username I can't imagine how charles feels right now omg, please take care charlie🫶
username this doesn't feel real...
username y/n was always working with charities all across the globe, she was an absolute angel. her impact will live on 💛
username is it just me who's thinking about their little girl in all this?? she must be so heartbroken :(
username I think bc she's so young she probably doesn't even understand what's going on😭💔
username y/n, you were a great addition to the paddock, always smiling and just all around lovely to fans. we won't ever forget you!💕
username sending prayers to the family 🙏
scuderiaferrari
liked by username, username, username and 594,752 others
scuderiaferrari Due to personal matters, Charles Leclerc will not be continuing racing for the remainder of the season. Ollie Bearman, our reserve driver, will take his place instead.
This was not an easy decision, and therefore we ask that you handle this news with respect and sensitivity.
Our thoughts and support are with Charles Leclerc and his family during this challenging time. 🙏❤️
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8 months later...
Charles enters the living room, ensuring the door closes softly behind him to avoid disturbing his little girl. Running his fingers over his beard, he examines the envelope in his hand and sighs. Y/N’s best friend pressed it into his hand at a dinner party the previous evening, insisting he watch it as soon as he finds the time. And here he is now, holding the thin envelope.
If someone had told him when he was younger that he’d get emotional over something as simple as seeing his wife’s handwriting on paper, he would have scoffed in disbelief. Not him, that would have seemed absurd. Yet here he is, feeling a lump form in his throat over mere black ink on paper.
As peculiar as it seems, he brings the envelope to his nose, and memories of Y/N flood his mind. He can almost feel her soothing touch as she works the knots out of his back after a gruelling day of racing. Inhaling, he feels Y/N’s sweet scent—it is as comforting as her smile.
A smile tugs at Charles' lips as he pictures that infectious grin that lit up his wife’s face at the most unexpected moments. It was one of the things he loved most about her—she had a way of bringing brightness to even the darkest of days.
Shaking his head, he snaps out of the trance, shifting deeper into the living room until he sinks into the welcoming embrace of the couch. There, he retrieves the laptop resting on the coffee table, feeling the weight of the moment as he opens the envelope and extracts a flash drive from within. Rolling it between his fingers, he inserts it into the side of his laptop with a determined motion.
Once all is in place, he watches a file labelled “To my dearest Lover, brightest Heart, and deepest Soul” materialise in his list of files. The sight catches him off guard—his throat constricts, making each breath a struggle, and his eyes well up, though he fights against the tears. Not now. He can't afford it. Allowing himself to be consumed by grief would mean losing precious time, time he needs for his daughter waiting in her playroom down the hallway.
He takes a moment to regain composure, squeezing his eyes shut, focusing on the rhythm of his breath until the tension in his chest begins to ease. With a sharp intake of air, he opens his eyes wide and taps the file, revealing a video. Running his teeth over his lower lip, he hovers the pointer over the play button, then taps the mousepad with a steady hand.
The video opens with Y/N seated on the very same pale couch he’s currently occupying. He places both hands onto the soft sofa, yearning for a connection, a way to feel her, even though he knows he can’t—touching the past is impossible.
Y/N walks toward the camera, readjusting it before taking three steps backward and retaking her seat. Inhaling deeply, she hesitates, her mouth opening, then closing again, like a fish out of water.
“Mon cœur,” Charles whispers, moving the laptop onto the coffee table.
“Hmm,” Y/N drops her hands into her lap and smooths down her flowery dress. She stares directly at the camera, tilting her head sideways with a crooked smile. “I don’t know where to start.”
Her eyes widen. “After all this planning, I still don’t know where to begin.” She lets out a few chuckles and then purses her lips. “Well, I suppose greetings are in order?”
Her expression softens as her brows furrow. “Hello, my darling, my world, my everything.”
“Hey,” Charles whispers, his throat tight with emotion, barely allowing sound to escape.
“Although I'm very happy to see you, if you’re watching this, it means you're not living as I want you to,” Y/N's voice trembles, causing her to pause and swallow. “I know it’s hard, baby. I don’t expect this to be easy on you, but I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life looking back at us in sadness, you know?”
Charles leans forward, elbows on his lap, eyes fixed on the screen, his face tinged with a faint shade of red.
“Remember our first date, when we had to cancel our reservations at that restaurant because you felt sick on the way there?” Y/N bursts into laughter but quickly stifles it, her hand covering her mouth.
“No, no,” Charles pleads softly, shaking his head, “please don’t hide your beautiful smile, my love.”
“It’s not like there was anything you could do about being sick, but I remember feeling miffed because I already had a stressful day, so for you to cancel just like that, it irritated me,” she reminisces with a nod. “But you were quite pale, so I wanted to make sure you got home alright. And we walked, barely talked,” she giggles, the joy reaching her eyes, “but then this little kid appeared, his name was…”
“Benny,” they both say simultaneously, a faint smile tugging at one corner of Charles' lips.
"Boy, was he excited to meet you, his idol. It was like seeing a completely different person. You became someone entirely new for this little boy whom you didn’t even know. Nobody forced you to take time out of your day when he came running, his arms wide open," Y/N says, extending her arms along with the words. "You could’ve just walked away. I mean, you had a reason to: you were sick."
Pausing for a moment, Y/N sits up straighter, leaning forward and shaking her head. "But you didn’t. You put on a brave face, and you turned into Benny’s hero and so much more. I think we stood there with his parents for about half an hour, and you didn’t complain once. And that’s when I knew."
Y/N nods, crossing her legs and slinging one hand behind the sofa. "That’s when I knew you could be the man I was going to marry. And turns out you were," she says, smiling sheepishly. "The love you have for people, for our daughter, it’s… it’s so profound, it’s boundless. So don’t limit it. Don’t you dare limit yourself just because I’m not around anymore."
Her expression turns serious as she exhales. “You’re such a bright light. You bring happiness and purity into people’s lives—into my life,” Y/N presses her hand against her chest. “I don’t want you to dim it. I want you to shine for as long as that candle burns. Don’t let it die prematurely because of bad happenings. There’s so much more to love, to live, to enjoy. And while you may not see me at your side anymore, holding onto D/N, I’m right here.”
Charles sniffles, folding his hands over his mouth as he swallows his sobs, while Y/N points to her heart.
“I’m with you forever and always. I’m protecting you and D/N, and I’m watching over you, making sure everything’s alright.” Y/N releases a sigh before chewing at her bottom lip with a wistful smile. “And part of that means making space for more love, for you. You have a big heart, you know? There’s enough room for you to find happiness with someone new. There’s no shame in it, and there’s no guilt in it. It’s what makes being alive such a beautiful thing: your love is yours, and it’s not confined to just one or two people. You can spread it, and still, our love will remain unchanged.”
Tears stream down the sides of Charles' cheeks as he struggles to maintain his composure, his eyes fixated on the screen as if afraid that if he peels his gaze away for one second, his wife will disappear.
Y/N briefly looks off to the side, her attention seemingly caught by something in the room, before snapping her head back to the camera with a bright smile.
“It seems I have to go,” her shoulders sink.
Charles leans forward, the screen mere inches away from his face, as he strokes the outline of Y/N’s face on the screen, whispering desperately, “Please don’t, mon cœur…”
“I love you so, so much. You and D/N are the most precious gifts, the greatest joys I have had the privilege to experience, so please, please,” she claps her hands together, moving them back and forth, “please…when I die, I want you to live.”
Y/N rises from the couch and walks towards the screen, her eyes unwavering for even a moment. “Give my little girl all my love, and kiss and hug her extra tight for as long as you can, for me.”
Offering one final smile, she blows a kiss at the screen. “I love you. Please don’t stop. Don't stop loving and don't stop living.”
The video freezes with Y/N frozen in place, a beautiful smile etched onto her lips, filled with the purest form of love.
Feeling suddenly overwhelmed, Charles collapses, the weight of the world pressing down on him. He drops his face into his hands and releases all of it: sob after sob after sob. There’s something liberating about finally letting go; the burden pours out of him, leaving behind a fragile yet tranquil Charles as he gazes at the still shot of his beloved wife, whom he adores so deeply.
A soft click draws his attention to the door just in time for it to creak open slowly, revealing his little girl standing there, her favourite yellow teddy bear clutched tightly in her arms.
“Papa,” her voice floats like a gentle breeze.
Charles smiles, opening his arms wide as she runs towards him. He's momentarily winded as she reaches him, but he quickly regains his composure and lifts her onto his lap.
“Hello, my love,” he whispers, touching his forehead to hers.
Her tiny hand pats his cheek, her expression filled with concern. “You’re crying?”
Charles shakes his head, trying to reassure her. “Happy tears,” he explains, “look.” He points at the screen, where Y/N's serene face is frozen in time.
“Maman!” D/N exclaims, slipping from his lap and heading towards the screen. Her small hands tap the screen eagerly as she calls out, “Maman! Maman! Maman!”
“Yes,” Charles swallows, ignoring the pang in his chest as he shifts his focus to his little girl. “You want to see Maman, huh?”
He rises from the sofa and lifts D/N into the air, settling her on his hip. “How about we go take a look at the photo albums, okay? There are lots of beautiful pictures of Maman in there, alright?”
“Maman! Maman! Maman!” D/N continues to exclaim, squirming excitedly in his arms as they walk through the door and down the hallway into the living room.
f1gossipofficial
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f1gossipofficial Nine months after the tragic passing of his wife, Y/N, Charles Leclerc has been spotted for the first time on a beach in Spain with their shared daughter.
Witnesses who captured the photographs above mentioned that he appeared to be coping well, and fans respectfully gave them space while appreciating the sight from afar.
We're glad to see Charles out and about again, and we extend our best wishes to him and his family as they continue to navigate these changes.
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username im so glad the fans kept to themselves
username right?? so respectful🫶
username charlie🥹❤️ it's been so long but we'll always be here whenever he's ready
username tbh I was very worried during the radio silence but I think him being out there is a step in the right direction🥲
username still can't believe y/n is no longer here... i miss her sm😭
username omg there's a vid on twitter of them playing ball and u can hear their daughter giggling 💕
username I can't find it could you pls send the link?🙏 username dmed u! username me too pls
username it must be so hard to grief y/n while also trying to be strong for their daughter :( sending him all the strength!!
username 😭😭😭
4:44 ────────────ㅇ 4:44
#f1 smau#f1 fanfic#f1#f1 x reader#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#cl16#cl16 x reader#cl16 imagine#f1 imagine#cl16 x you#charles leclerc smau#charles leclerc x female reader#charles x y/n#charles x you#charles leclerc fanfic#smau#charles leclerc angst#charles leclerc imagine#f1 instagram au#fanfic#f1 fic#charles x reader#cl16 fic#f1 scenario#formula 1 x reader#cl16 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1#charles leclerc one shot
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The Moon ||| neteyam x human!reader
masterlist
epilogue
pairings: neteyam x human!fem!reader
summary: neteyam would give you the moon if he could
words: 8.8k (I’m dead omg)
warnings/notes: friends to lovers, major ANGST (cried while writing this one) bits of fluff, implied sexual themes, lovesick!neteyam, mentions of sickness and medical treatments, death, use of y/n, I am not a medical professional so I lot of this is just my interpretation I’m sorry that it won’t be accurate pls don’t hate me, mentions of mates, spider is your adoptive brother (in this house we love spider 🫶🏻), and of course my corny writing, this is the product of me listening to moon song on a loop not sure how this happened, This is gonna be rough apologies in advance
The first time Neteyam saw you was when he was eight years old. He was used to seeing Spider around, but not you. You were new.
Trembling behind Spider it looked like you were trying to disappear. Barely peeking up over his shoulder to look. Neteyam's tail swished in curiosity as he observed you.
"Guys, this is Y/N." Spider introduced you while pushing you forward. "She's a little shy." He added.
Your big eyes looked up at the Na'vi children who towered over you. "Hi." You whispered with an awkward smile and a small wave. "You're really tall." You giggled.
Neteyam stared at you in awe immediately infatuated with you. You were unlike any sky person he had ever seen.
"You're just really short." Lo'ak snapped back rolling his eyes.
Neteyam noticed your smile falter and shoved his brother. Your smile was beautiful, the prettiest thing the young boy had ever seen. At that moment Neteyam decided you should always be smiling.
Spider explained to the group that you were born here like him. You had never left the lab before. This was the first time you saw the beauty of the forest and the first time you saw a Na'vi in the flesh. You were in awe of everything around you.
Spending the rest of the day playing with the other children you couldn't help but get distracted by your surroundings. The forest was alive it's beauty glowing all around you. You had the urge to explore every last inch of it.
Neteyam kept his eyes locked on you. He was worried that you'd get separated from the rest of them. You were small and delicate, unable to properly protect yourself, so Neteyam decided to protect you.
So that's how it was whenever you played with the Sully children. Neteyam always glued by your side. He couldn't explain it. The way he felt an immediate draw towards you. As if the two of you were meant to find each other.
Neytiri was less than thrilled to have another human child around her kids. One was bad enough. After everything humans had done to their home -to her - she despised them. She even had her doubts about the loyal few who stayed.
What made her even more unsure of you was the way her eldest son never left your side. Ever since Spider introduced you Neteyam was glued to your side. Had it been anyone else Neytiri would have found it endearing. But you were human. You were a demon.
A few years later Neytiri started to notice things about you. The way the forest left you in awe no matter how many times you’d seen it. She'd catch you gasping in excitement over the littlest things. It was as if you could see.
She also noticed the strong bond you had with her children, especially with Neteyam. She knew her son well. Neytiri was well aware of how he felt towards you. She feared the day that he realized his own feelings.
You were sitting in the forest with Neteyam next to you. His mother was across from the two of you. Neytiri was shooting daggers with her eyes at you. The stare made you shift uncomfortably. Neteyam picked up on it placing a gentle hand on your knee.
Neytiri observed how you immediately relaxed. The sweet genuine smiled you gave her son and how he gave you one of his own.
Neytiri had been trying to give Neteyam a lesson on arrow making. He had insisted that you join them since he promised to spend the afternoon with you. Much to her dismay, you were here unintentionally distracting him.
You felt something barely grace your shoulder. Figuring it was Neteyam you didn't pay it much mind. Then another tap on your head. One on your arm. Then your other shoulder.
Looking up, you met Neytiri's eyes. She was staring at you like she had seen a ghost. Starting to feel panicked you looked at your arms. You gasped as your eyes filled with wonder.
Several atokirina' floated around you. They danced up and down gently resting on you. Neteyam had the biggest smile on his face. To him it was confirmation the great mother saw you the way he did.
It was undoubtedly a sign from Eywa herself. Neytiri couldn't believe her eyes. Feeling a sense of déjà vu, she was brought back to the first time she met her mate.
Unable to shake what she had witnessed she went to her mother. After explaining the strange encounter Neytiri waited while Mo’at consulted with Eywa.
��Eywa sees the child.” Mo’at finally spoke. “The Great Mother has declared that she will spend the rest of her life by Neteyam.”
Neytiri couldn’t wrap her mind around it. The concept was so foreign to her. Eywa had accepted you as one of her own. Not only that, it was also her will that you stay by Neteyam. Neytiri would never question the will of Eywa. While she didn’t fully understand it she would have to learn to be okay with it.
From that day on, Neteyam’s mother treated you with a kindness she never had before. You didn’t know what happened for her to finally warm up to you but you were forever grateful she did.
Years went by and it was time for Neteyam to begin training for his iknimaya. You were so excited for him, knowing how important this rite of passage was to the Na'vi. There was a part of you that was downcast as he wouldn't be able to spend time with you every day like he usually does.
Your heart hurt because all you wanted was to be able to experience this with him. For as long as you could remember you wanted to be Na'vi. It was your birthday wish every year though you never told anyone out of embarrassment. That and it wouldn't come true if you told.
You and your brother had begged for avatars for years. Unfortunately the materials and funding needed just wasn’t there. Norm and Max wanted nothing more than to be able to grant your wishes, but it just wasn't a possibility.
"So how long are you going to be gone this time?"
Neteyam sighed. He could hear the disappointment in your voice and it broke his heart. "A month. Maybe two."
You felt like you could burst into tears right then and there. Neteyam was your best friend, not to mention your crush for as long as you could remember. You couldn't imagine not seeing him for that long.
"I'll be back before you know it." Gently he brushed hair out of your face. As much as he loved seeing you in the forest he treasured the moments in your room without your mask. Neteyam loved to see your face without the glass restricting his view.
"Don't forget about me." You playfully pushed him.
He gasped in mock offense. "I could never." He smiled. Before he could stop himself he placed a kiss on your forehead.
Stopping dead in his tracks he pulled back. The pair of you stilled blushes adoring both of your cheeks.
Neteyam tried to burry his feelings for you but it was impossible. He had fallen helplessly in love with his best friend. Not caring that you were human he couldn't deny his feelings. He just wasn't sure how to tell you.
Before you knew it, you were throwing your arms around him as you hugged him goodbye. You went to pull away but he kept you in his embrace for a little longer.
"I'm gonna miss you." He sighed.
"You're going to have so much fun you won't even think about me."
"That's not true you're always on my mind." He blushed.
A blush engulfed your face and you bit your lip. You noticed Neteyam's tail swishing back and forth. Looking up at him he was smiling back at you. His cheeks were slightly tinted.
Standing back with the rest of his family you waved as he joined the other young warriors. "He'll be back before you know it." Spider smiled knowingly at you.
No matter how hard you tried you couldn't keep your crush from your bother. He immediately figured it out. Little did you know most everyone had figured it out. The only ones who hadn't were you and Neteyam.
Neytiri watched you with a smile on her face. As time passed she accepted the idea of you with her son. Finding amusement in the two of you pining after each other.
The time without Neteyam dragged on for what felt like an eternity. Spider did his best to keep you occupied as did the Sully siblings. But your mind never strayed far from the boy your heart beat for.
You were getting ready for bed after a long day. Neteyam was halfway through his training by now. You had been counting down the days to his return.
A knock on your door interrupted your thoughts. Norm stood awkwardly in the doorway. “You have a visitor.” He informed you.
Furrowing your eyebrows you looked at him confused. It was way past the curfew set for the lab. “Who?”
Before he could answer you Lo’ak pushed passed him and entered your room. He look frustrated and exhausted.
“What are you doing here Lo’ak?” You asked afraid that something was wrong.
Without saying a word he removed the communicator from his neck and handed it to you. “This is for you.” Was all he said.
You looked over the tech not understanding why he was giving it to you especially now of all times. “I’ve been trying to sleep for hours. He won’t leave me alone until he speaks with you.”
Your face lit up knowing exactly who he was. Wasting no time you pressed the button. “Neteyam?” You hesitantly asked.
“Oh Eywa how I’ve missed your voice.” Neteyam’s voice rang through the speaker.
“Yeah I’m not staying to listen to this.” Lo’ak deadpanned before leaving.
Neteyam missed you terribly and begged his father to let him speak with you. Jake felt like it would be a distraction so he didn't allow it. So Neteyam came up with the brilliant idea to pester his little brother until he gave it. It worked rather quickly.
You spent the whole night talking to Neteyam. He told you all about his training not sparing a single detail. He was more interested in what you had been up to. He just wanted to hear your voice.
The day Neteyam was to return was finally here. You and Spider sprinted through the forest heading towards the village. By the time you got there he had already returned.
Searching the crowd you finally saw him. Knees weak your breath caught in your throat. Somehow he looked taller. His mussels were more defined, shoulders wider, and his face sharper. He was no longer a boy. He looked like a man.
You had always wanted Neteyam but this was different. In that moment your want for him was something you hadn't experienced before. It almost felt wrong. Almost.
Neteyam searched the crowd for you. Eyes glancing over a figure that was familiar he did a double take. It was you. You looked different.
Neteyam gulped as he took in your new features. Your hips wider and chest fuller you no longer looked like the little kid everyone was so used to. Neteyam noticed your hair was shorter, resting at just below your shoulders now.
You were beautiful. Absolutely breathtaking. A gift from Eywa herself. A primal urge came over him, a desire to take you right then and there. You were to be his mate, he felt that you were destined.
"Neteyam!" You squealed running into his arms. He picked you up twirling you in the air like you weighed nothing.
"I missed you Ma'Y/N." He snuggled his face into your neck.
You bit your lip at the pet name. It was usually reserved for mated couples but Neteyam couldn't help but let it slip.
As the weeks passed on the attraction between the two of was stronger than ever. Stolen glances and intentional accidental touches filled your days.
After Neteyam successfully claimed his Ikran earning his spot among the people he would take you for rides.
"I knew you could do it. I'm so proud of you." You looked up at him.
The look you gave him made his heart flutter. A strange satisfaction overcame him knowing that you were proud of him. He wanted you to be proud of him.
That night he walked you back to the lab following you to your room. He desperately needed to speak with you. He had been working up the courage all night.
Neteyam sat next to you on your bed. He loved the moments you shared without your mask in the way. Staring into your eyes without anything in front of them.
"I have earned my place among the people." He said suddenly.
You nodded slowly not sure where he was going with this. "I know I was there." You giggled.
"I may now chose a mate."
Your heart dropped. So this was why he wanted to talk. He was here to tell you that he found someone. He probably wanted you to leave him alone now.
Anxiety flooded your mind as you felt stupid. A part of you actually thought he liked you back. Why would he? You weren’t even the same species. You had nothing to offer him.
“I see.” You gave your best fake smile. “Who’s the lucky girl then?” You had to know.
“You.” Neteyam said without hesitation.
“I’m sorry what?” You asked. There was no way you heard that right.
“You, if you’ll have me.” He looked away shy. He took your confusion as rejection. “I want you to be my mate Y/N.”
“Are you sure?” You asked dumbfounded.
Neteyam cupped your face in his palms. “I see you Y/N.”
Your heart sped up at the phrase you found so beautiful and so terrifying at the same time. He saw you. Every broken piece, every imperfection, all of your good qualities as well as the bad ones, and he still wanted you anyways.
He wanted you despite it all. Neteyam saw you.
“I am human Neteyam.” You said. You needed him to be sure of his choice. Na’vi mate for Life. Of course you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, but you needed to be sure he wouldn’t regret it.
“I know. That changes nothing.”
“I cannot make Tsaheylu.” The bond was the building block of life on Pandora. It was vital to their existence. They bonded with their mates, you would be unable to bond with him in this way.
“I know. But I see you anyways.” He confessed.
“I’ll never be tsahík.”
“None of that matters to me Y/N. Stop trying to give me reasons to not want you. It won’t work.”
Looking down in shame you gave him one last reason. “I can’t give you children Neteyam. You’d be making so many sacrifices just to have me. It’s not an equal trade.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” He smiled. “You are all I want. It’s always been you Y/N. Always. Nothing else matters when you are enough for me.”
Neteyam leaned in as if he was about to kiss you. “You are what I want Y/N.”
“You are what I want too.” You breathed. “I see you Neteyam.
That was all he needed to hear. He crashed his lips onto yours passionately kissing you. Lips moving in sync until you pulled away to catch your breath.
Staring into his golden eyes you removed your shirt leaving your chest bare before him. Neteyam’s eyes widened at your sudden action. He wasn’t expecting anything to happen, he was happy with kissing.
“We don’t have to do anything Ma’Y/N.”
There was that name again. You smiled. “I want to. I want you Neteyam. That is, if you’ll have me.” You batted your eyelashes at him.
His tail twitched in excitement before he tackled you back onto the bed. The two of you spent the night a tangled mess of limbs. “We are mated before Eywa for life.” Neteyam whispered into your ear before you drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
It had been two years since you mated with Neteyam. It had been the best years of your life.
His family was immediately accepting of your relationship. To your surprise so was most of the clan. There were a few that frowned upon your union but Neteyam made sure to put them in their place.
Following Neteyam’s lead you ran through the forest. He made sure to keep looking back for you so the two of you wouldn’t get separated.
“So where are we going again?” You huffed out of breath.
“It’s a surprise.” He smiled back at you.
Neteyam took you to a clearing that had the most beautiful flowers you had ever seen. You were fascinated by the nature of Pandora.
“I wish I could smell them.” You sighed. Always longing to smell the fresh air and to feel the breeze on your face.
Neteyam frowned at your words. He too hated your mask, but it kept you alive. It allowed him to show you his home. To Neteyam it was worth the inconvenience.
“Come on, let’s keep going.” He smiled. “There’s something else I wanna show you.”
Without a second thought you followed him. Starting to feel faint you slowed down. Everything was getting blurry and your head was woozy.
"Neteyam, could you slow down a little?" You panted, pushing your hand against a tree for support. "I'm a little dizzy."
Stopping dead in his tracks he rushed over to you. His mind racing with a million different thoughts. His heart screaming at him to protect you. Not looking good at all your face had gone pale. Your eyes looked exhausted. You looked ill.
"I will take you to my grandmother. You do not look good Ma'Y/N."
"I'm fine Teyam." You attempted a smile to reassure him. The last thing you wanted was to be rushed into the village. The People were used to you, but having the Tsahík tend to a sky demon may be pushing your luck. "Just take me back to the lab please."
Scooping you up he held you close to his chest bridal style. "Neteyam, I could've walked. I'm not broken." You rolled your eyes. Ignoring your protests he continued the trek back to the lab. Something was wrong and you were unwell.
Gently setting you down at the lab entrance he insisted that he come in with you. Neteyam was still slightly unsure of sky people, the lab making him nervous. But this was different. Anxiety consumed him and he couldn't leave without making sure you were okay.
Taking your mask off you then offered Neteyam a mask of his own. He hastily took it eyes never leaving you. The last thing on his mind was a mask for himself. He could breath this air for hours anyways.
Walking the familiar hallways to your room he observed your small steps. Gently panting as if the walk was tiring you out. You insisted you were fine but your body language said otherwise.
Plopping down on your bed you made grabby hands reaching out for him. "Cuddle me." You playfully commanded. Smiling he complied gently laying down next to you, arms instinctively pulling you closer.
Taking a deep breath letting your scent fill his lungs he hummed. Neteyam gently peppered a few kisses to your face before burying his head in your neck.
"Neteyam stop." You giggled. "It tickles." You could feel his smile against your neck. Running your free hand through his braids you sighed in satisfaction. Moments like this made up for all the bad ones.
You felt so safe in his arms, like he could protect you from anything. And he would. He'd burn the whole world if it meant keeping you safe.
"Teyam?" You whispered fingers still playing with his hair. He hummed in response snuggling closer to you. "I love you to the moon and back."
The expression felt odd rolling off your tongue. Checks heated in a blush you were a bit embarrassed. After all, you found it to be incredibly cheesy. But there was a part of you that found the sentiment sweet.
You'd first read it engraved on a tiny silver necklace. It had belonged to your mother. One of the scientists gave it to you once you were older. It was the only thing you had of her. Everything else was left up to your imagination.
For years they tried to allude to the fact that your mother had passed away. It seemed easier to let you believe that than tell you the truth. But even though you were a child you weren't clueless. You knew that your mother had left you here.
Terrified of everything that had happened she went back to earth unable to take you with her. That's how you found yourself being raised by the scientists on Pandora with Spider as your honorary brother.
A small part of you cling to the saying. Wishing it was true, that your mother loved you to the moon and back - to Pandora and back. That one day she'd be back for you.
You knew it would never happen. So instead you say it to Neteyam. Because you truly meant it. You would go to the moon and back for him. And you would be back. You'd always come back for him.
Neteyam's ears perked up at your words. It wasn't the first time you had told him you loved him but you had never said it like this. He didn't entirely understand it but he appreciated your words just the same.
Smiling at you like you were the most precious thing he ever laid his eyes on. "I will give you the moon my love."
Laughing you pulled him closer. "You can't give someone the moon Neteyam."
But he would for you. You were his moon, his stars, and everything in between. Whatever you asked for he would deliver. "If I could give you the moon, I would give you the moon." He confirmed.
"You're a dork." You giggled.
"So are you then. You started it." He playfully fired back. Neteyam's mind turned somber for a moment. "Are you feeling better?"
You nodded cuddling more into your mattress to get comfy. "Much better. I think I need more cuddles to be one hundred percent though."
Smiling, Neteyam snuggled into you. "I'm more than happy to assist."
As the weeks went by you continued to feel strange. It didn’t seem like a big deal to you, so you didn’t want to bring it up. After all, you were human. Getting sick was a part of every day life.
No one noticed how you were acting strange. Except Neteyam of course. He picked up on the way you always seemed tired. The way your eyes looked a bit dull as they stared off into space. No matter how hard you tried to hide it, he saw it all.
You were now having trouble keeping your meals down. Stomach always feeling like it was in knots you didn’t know what was wrong. No one had caught you throwing up yet, but they did start to notice how you were losing weight without trying.
Norm awkwardly tried to broach the subject as always trying to be the father you never had. He was afraid you were doing something self inflicted and wanted to support you in any way he could.
It took awhile but you were able to convince him it wasn't what he thought. You honestly didn't know what was wrong, you just one day started feeling sick.
Norm being the man of science that he was immediately wanted to start tests to get to the bottom of what was wrong. Somehow you managed to get him to hold off for awhile. The idea of going through a bunch of tests scared you.
You didn’t get out of it for very long. Neteyam was worried sick about you and insisted you do whatever was needed to get better. Reluctantly you agreed spending the next several days undergoing tests and blood work.
Neteyam even took you to his grandmother for her guidance. She wasn’t able to pinpoint what was wrong. Whatever you had was a human sickness, unknown to the Na’vi.
Jake took a special interest in what was wrong. He was once a human himself. He was well aware of everything that could go wrong with the human body. Plus he deeply cared for his daughter in law. Jake consulted with Norm regularly regarding his findings.
The Olo'eyktan thought it’d be best if he was one of the first to find out. That way he would be able to explain it to his family better. He was by no means a doctor but he knew his son would trust his words more than Norm’s.
He could see the way Neteyam looked like his was close to having a melt down. He had a forced calmness about him. As if he was in complete denial that something might be wrong. Because he was. If he refused to acknowledge it, it wouldn’t be real.
"Leukemia." Norm spoke like that one simple word explained everything. Jake's breath caught in his throat at the word. Neteyam stood head moving back and forth between the two of them, waiting for an explanation.
His heart hammered in his chest as they spoke words that meant nothing to him. Human words he didn't know. "How long?" His father asked quietly.
"It's progressed rather quickly. She had been exhibiting symptoms for a few months now. It's hard to say how long she's had it."
Neteyam knew they were talking about you. Dread filled him and he felt sick to his stomach. The feeling of being left in the dark was too much for him, he felt like he could scream.
"How long does she have?" Jake asked again eyes screwed onto Norm. He spoke hushed this time. Jake wasn't a fool. He was well aware of his son's feelings towards you. In fact, the whole clan knew.
How long does she have? The words echoed in Neteyam's brain. Repeating over and over again. They couldn't be talking about your life could they? You were just a little sick, you had said so yourself. This couldn't be real he refused to believe it.
"I've estimated three years." Max spoke up. "She has a thirty percent chance."
Thirty. That was low wasn't it? There was no possible way you'd have such a low chance. The science geeks were the best of the best. You'd also have access to the remedies of the Na'vi. Most importantly you'd have Neteyam. He made a vow to take care of and protect you. He indented to keep that vow.
"What are her opinions? What can we do?" Jake needed all the information he could get if he was going to have to explain this to his son.
"Chemo would be the next step. It's going to be hard, she's already so weak. It's going to take a lot out of her."
Jake glanced over at his son. Neteyam looked like he was on the verge of a panic attack. Hell, he was on the verge of a panic attack. His eyes were wide as he stared at his father, pleading for an answer.
Jake sighed, "Would she have a better chance back on Earth? Can we even give her proper care here?"
Earth? You couldn't go to earth. Neteyam refused to allow it. If you left he'd never see you again. He wouldn't be able to care for you while you're sick. He also wouldn't know how you were doing - he wouldn't know if you were still breathing or not.
His mouth hung open as his brain tried to register this. "She can't go to earth dad." He said just above a whisper. "She can't go!" He said again this time yelling desperately at his father.
"Calm down boy." Jake hushed him placing a hand on his shoulder. "Let them speak."
"She's not going anywhere." Norm said trying to choose his words carefully. "Her immune system is weak right now. I don't think she would survive the trip. I think it's best to treat her here with what we have available."
Tears stung Neteyam's eyes as he stared at the ground. You were so sick you wouldn't survive the trip to earth. Would you even survive here? He came to the horrific realization that you were sick and you might be dying.
"She's strong though." Jake said more so to his son. "She can fight this."
Max and Norm looked at each other with sad smiles. Neither doubted your strength, you were one of the strongest people they knew. But this was different. They had to entertain the possibility that even if you fight with your all you could lose. They also knew that they didn't have everything needed to properly treat you. But for the sake of the broken boy in front of them they left that part out.
Staying positive was hard but you gave it your best try. You felt weak but it wasn’t insufferable yet. The worst part of it was you couldn’t go out exploring like you were accustomed to.
Your friends made sure to keep you company. Your room become the unofficial official hangout spot. Lo’ak and Spider would play games with you, Kiri kept you up to date on all of the gossip in the village, Tuk insisted that the two of you color, and Neteyam? Neteyam never left your side.
He was there not long after your woke up and often times he stayed the night. Neteyam never wanted to leave your side, wanting to make sure you were cared for in any way possible. He would be there every step of the way.
When it was time for chemo you felt extremely anxious. As Norm prepared the IV Neteyam eyed the needle untrustworthily. You winced as it went into your arm. Neteyam hissed ready to throw Norm across the room for causing you pain.
Norm panicked and you quickly explained to Neteyam that it was okay. It only hurt for a few minutes. You had to deal with it. You needed the treatment to get better.
Neteyam cuddled up next to you holding your hand. He tried to do things to distract you from it. The pair of you would watch movies from back on earth. You taught him how to play uno. He could never beat you and it frustrated him to no end. He was close to throwing his cards in anger. Seeing him be such a sore looser made you laugh.
Neteyam loved your laugh. He didn’t hear it much anymore so it was his life’s mission to make you laugh as much as he could.
He believed you’d make a full recovery. This was simply a bump in the road.
"Please don't let him in." You pleaded with Spider. "I don't want him to see me like this." Tears were stinging your eyes now.
Spider looked sympathetically at you. You tried so hard to be strong for everyone but it was wearing down on you. This was effecting you worse than you thought it would. All you wanted to sulk in your room by yourself.
"He's freaking out Y/N. I'm afraid he's gonna start breaking stuff." He chuckled. Gently placing his hand on your shoulder his concerned look returned. "He cares about you. A lot. He just wants to make sure you're okay."
Nodding your head you wiped your face with your hands. You didn't want him to see that you had been crying. "Okay. Let him in."
Spider went off to find Neteyam it didn't take him too long thanks to the commotion he was causing. "You cannot keep me here!" Neteyam bellowed.
He tried to moved around the crowd of scientists who were attempting to keep him back. Neteyam growled in frustration. "Y/N is my mate you cannot keep me from her."
"Bro, calm down!" Spider yelled as Neteyam went to throw something off of a desk. He stopped as soon as he heard Spider. Neteyam's shoulders relaxed slightly at the familiar face.
"They are trying to keep me away." He snapped.
"Yeah I can see that." Spider huffed. "If you're done with your temper tantrum Y/N is ready to see you."
Raising his head high Neteyam walked past the scientists smugly. When out of earshot he bent down to Spider "They said Y/N did not want to see me." His face etched with worry.
Sighing Spider ran his hand over his face. "She's upset right now. It's not my place to say. She needs to be the one to tell you. But she's upset and embarrassed right now. She didn't want you to see her like that."
Neteyam's heart clenched at his words. The thought of you being so upset that you didn't want to see him crushed him. Walking into your room he was preparing for the worst.
You were sitting in your bed with your hands folded in your lap. Staring down you were avoiding his gaze.
He looked you up and down to see if their was any visible signs of what was wrong. If there was a problem Neteyam wanted to attack it head on. Your sickness wasn't like that though. He had to sit and watch helplessly as you suffered. It consumed him to the point he lived in constant agony.
Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Except your eyes were red and puffy like you had been crying. You were crying. Why were you crying? Neteyam's protective side took the forefront once again, ready to crush whatever had upset you.
Rushing to your side he cupped your cheek with his hand. "Ma'love what's wrong?" Worried etched on his face.
"You can have these back. I don't need them anymore." You sniffed. Your closed hands reached out to his. Opening your hands you gently poured the contents into his.
Neteyam stilled as his beads spilled into his hands. They were the beads he had given to you. He loved seeing you proudly wearing them in your hair, letting everyone see you were his.
"You don't want them anymore?" He softly asked. It felt like a punch to the gut. It was as if you were rejecting him.
"I won't be able to wear them anymore Neteyam." Meeting his gaze your heart broke seeing his face. He didn't understand why you were returning his gift to you.
"My hair is falling out Neteyam." You sighed.
"I do not understand." His brow furrowed trying to put the pieces together.
"The chemo- the medicine makes my hair fall out." You tried to explain.
Spider walked over and put his hand on your shoulder for support. He viewed you as his little sister. It hurt him to see you suffering like this.
Neteyam didn't understand how this medicine was helping you if it was making it so hard on you. Human medicine was more complicated than the Na'vi remedies he was used to.
You knew that he was genuinely curious and just trying to understand but you were tired if talking about it. You knew you would eventually lose your hair but you thought you could handle it.
Everything was too much. You hadn't really felt sick until now. When you noticed your hair coming out in clumps it all became real. You were sick.
Spider found you in a fit of sobs. It broke his heart to see you like that. It also sent him into a panic. He didn't know what to do to make you feel better. He was your big brother, he was supposed to know everything.
"Norm gave me this." Sighing you pulled out hair clippers. "He said it might be easier to just go ahead and shave my head." Tears stung your eyes again. "I just don't know if I can."
Without thinking Spider took the clippers from you. "I'll go first." He declared.
Eyes widening in panic you tried to stop him. "Wait Spider! You don't have to do that." Before you could get another word out he turned them on and quickly swiped along the top of his head.
You and Neteyam stared at him with wide eyes. Dumbfounded you couldn't believe your brother just did that. He did it for you. You couldn't help the small smile that formed. Knowing that your brother loved you that much made your heart swell.
"Are you guys just gonna stare at me or are you gonna help me finish this up?" Spider asked with a smirk.
Once finished Spider was almost unrecognizable. "I can't believe you did that." You mumble as he helped you with your hair.
"It's not a big deal." He shrugged. "It was weighing me down anyways. I'll be faster now."
You rolled your eyes at your brother's odd logic. Neteyam was holding onto your hand watching Spider like a hawk. The idea of taking a blade to your head terrified him even though you assured him it was safe.
Gently you squeezed his hand. “I’m okay.” You assured him. He nodded bringing your hand up to his lips, tenderly kissing your knuckles. “I love you.” His whispered lips still pressed to your fingers.
Usually you stuck to the Na’vi terms of affection. It was what Neteyam was comfortable with. But after learning what the human phrase meant he had to use it. Because it was true. He loved you with every fiber of his being.
Tugging his hand to your lips you gave his knuckles a matching kiss. “I love you too. So so much.”
“Come on guys knock it off.” Spider complained pretending to be sick. As much as your constant shows of affection annoyed him he was glad you found someone who truly loved you.
The next day Neteyam came to visit you with his hands behind his back. You eyed him suspiciously, he was never good at keeping secrets from you.
“I made this for you last night.” He gently placed a bracelet in your lap. You gasped when you realized it was made of the beads he had originally given you for your hair.
“You said you couldn’t wear them anymore and now that’s not true.”
Carefully you put the bracelet on. Heart bursting at the sweet gesture tears began to spill from your eyes. Neteyam started to panic thinking be did something wrong.
“You are not happy with it?” He asked defeated. “You are crying.”
“Yes but they’re happy tears. I love it Neteyam. I love you.” You threw your arms around his neck. Smiling he pulled you closer into his chest.
“Oel ngati kameie.” He whispered into your neck.
“I see you Ma’Teyam.”
"I'm dying Neteyam." You said without any hesitation or emotion.
Neteyam immediately sat up looking to you slightly begging that he heard you wrong. It couldn't be true. It couldn't be.
"No one's told you because they're afraid of how you'll react. I don't want to keep anything from you. Love you too much to do that." Your eyes met his through your mask. He felt his heart breaking not only from your words but your eyes. They were faded, lacking the light he loved so much.
"They didn't want to tell me either." Your hoarse voice kept on. "But it's hard to pull a fast one over on me when I'm like this." Chuckling at yourself Neteyam caught a glimpse of you. The real you. Not this pitiful shell of who you once were.
"The treatment stopped working months ago. They told me last week."
Bringing your hand to his mouth he gently kissed your knuckles. "Please do not say such things." His voice cracked. Tears were now freely flowing from his eyes.
Deep down in his heart he knew he was losing you. He just didn't want to believe it. He couldn't believe it. Acknowledging it made it feel real and there was no way this was real. It had to be a cruel nightmare.
"I'm tired Neteyam." You spoke quietly.
Unsure of what you meant he was ready to scoop you up and tuck you into bed. Somehow you had convinced him to go star gazing tonight. It had seemed like the perfect date night idea since you were always cooped up in your room. But now he kicked himself for allowing you to leave.
"Let's get you back then," he started shuffling."
"No Neteyam." You interrupted him stopping him in his tracks. "I'm tired of this." You gestured to yourself. "I'm tired of treatments that aren't working. Tired of being stuck in my room all day. Im tired of it all." You sighed.
"This isn't living Neteyam. It's waiting to die." Meeting his eyes your heart sank. He was finally registering your words. Neteyam looked at you like you had just pierced his heart with an arrow. "I'm tired of waiting."
You had been battling this for over a year now. It had taken its toll on you physically and emotionally. You didn’t know how much longer you could go on like this.
"What are you saying Y/N?" He asked trying his best to stay calm but miserably failing. His hands were shaking and his heart quickened.
"I asked Norm and Max about how I could speed it up."
Neteyam heard his heart shatter into a million pieces. You wanted to end your life. You wanted to leave him. You couldn't possibly want to leave him could you?
Tears were freely falling from his eyes. His body started to shake fighting off sobs.
"I'm not getting any better Neteyam." You gently placed your hand on his cheek wiping away his tears with your thumb.
This wasn't what you wanted but you saw no other way. Everyday was a struggle, even breathing hurt. You wanted Neteyam to see what you already accepted. This was a waiting game. You were never going to recover.
"No." He violently shook his head holding you to his chest. "No. You'll get better. We just need to try something else. Please." He begged.
"Ma'Teyam there's nothing left to try."
"Please. You can't leave me." His body shook with sobs. "I can't lose you Ma'Y/N."
You couldn't fight back your own tears. Your mask was fogging as you started to cry. Seeing your mate like this was as painful as your sickness.
"You're not gonna lose me love. Nothing is ever lost, remember?" You tried your best to comfort him.
"There has to be something we can try." He sobbed. "What about an avatar?"
You held his head in your chest while he cried. "They can't make anymore avatars. You know that."
"I can't do this without you. There has to be something." Neteyam wailed.
The sight broke your heart. You had exhausted all of your options. Everyone but Neteyam seemed to recognize it.
"I won't do anything without your blessing Ma'Teyam." You gently caressed his head. "But please try to understand my point of view."
"You cannot ask this of me. I can't." He shook his head.
Gently rocking you soothed the boy in your arms. He had a vice like grip on you as if you'd vanish into thin air. "It'll okay Ma'Teyam." You cooed.
You had informed Norm and Max of your plan. It broke their heart but they acknowledged that it was your decision. They would respect your wishes.
Norm found himself in your room in the middle of the night watching you sleep. It pained him to see your labored breaths. You were always so fill of light and now you looked like a hollow shell.
He'd known you your whole life. It broke his heart to know that your time was running out. It seemed like just yesterday you were a bubbly toddler getting into trouble in the lab.
You told Jake and Neytiri next. For some reason you were terrified of what your in laws would think of you. While this was something common amongst humans it was very rare to the Na'vi.
Jake was once human though. It hurt his heart to see that it came to this but he understood. While his disability wasn't terminal he knew the feeling of hopelessness. The feeling of being trapped inside what once was you. Your body becoming a prison. Jake knew better than anyone.
Neytiri didn't understand why you wished this until she saw you. She couldn't contain her gasp. No longer the child she has grown to care for, you were someone she didn’t recognize.
Smiling weakly at her Neytiri’s heart broke for you. She could see that you were dying but she couldn’t understand why. It was the great mother’s will that you would stay with Neteyam. Why would she allow you to die so soon?
Then it hit her. The words of her mother. You would spend the rest of your life beside Neteyam. Your life would end before his. Seeing you like this made her realize why you wanted this. You weren’t yourself, you were tapped inside a body that was failing you.
Spider was unusually quiet when you told him. “Spider please say something.” You pleaded.
He knew it was coming. He’d be a fool not to. But he was like everyone else who loved you, he didn’t want to believe it was happening. All of his earliest memories included you. You may have only been siblings because of circumstance but he loved you like you were blood.
You were undoubtedly his sister. Always there for him for as long as he could remember. Someone who always had his back. You understood the feeling of being abandoned here and the longing of wanting more. You were his person. And now you weren’t going to be here anymore.
Spider stood up and hugged you. He was slightly crying into your shoulder. You had never seen your big brother cry. He was your rock always strong and dependable.
“I’m sorry Spider.” You cried with him.
“Hey,” he pulled back to look at you. “Don’t ever be sorry. None of this is your fault.”
Nodding through your tears you took in the sight of him. His hair was growing back so fast leaving him with a nice short cut.
“You know I love you right?” He asked unsure for a moment. He had to make sure you knew. Spider wouldn’t be able to live with himself If you didn’t.
“Of course. I love you too bro.”
The two of you spent the rest of the day talking about everything and nothing all at once. It would be one of the last times you got to.
When it came to telling Neteyam he already knew. Your confirmation was like stones in his heart. But he knew. Deep down he always knew. You were never getting better.
Being cooped up in your room wasn't much of a life. You were in pain and it pained him to witness it. Neteyam never wished to part from you but this wasn't his choice to make.
He knew that had there been any other way you wouldn't had made the choice either.
You wanted one last day. One last good day.
Looking at your room one last time you shut the door. You had breakfast with Norm and Spider just like you always did growing up. Max even joined you.
No one talked about what was to come. You forbid any talk of the future only wanted to live in the here and now.
Spider helped you put on your mask and the two of you slowly made your way to the village. He helped you into the Sully home. You were terrified of everyone being somber, but to your delight everyone acted as normal.
You hadn’t laughed this much in months watching Spider reenact a story of one of the many times Lo’ak almost got himself killed.
Laughter, hugs, and smiles was how you spent your time with the Sully’s. It was perfect just like it always was. Neteyam kept you sat on his lap not wanting to lose contact for a second.
Taking a deep breath he inhaled your scent. It had changed when you got sick. It didn’t smell like you. It made him frown.
Insisting on going on an Ikran ride you drug Neteyam out of his family’s tent. Neytiri stopped you before you got too far. Embracing you one last time. “Thank you for watching over him my child.” Before you could say a word she kissed your forehead and left you with watery eyes.
Neteyam didn’t want to focus on sadness right now. You were still here that’s all that mattered. Taking your hand once again you were greeted with his Ikran.
“You sure you feel up to this?” He checked in.
“Hell yeah.” You smirked at him.
Flying through air was a feeling you’d never get used to. Up there you were truly free. Sticking your arms out to intensify the feeling Neteyam cursed at your sudden movement. His grip tightening around you.
“Let me know before you do something like that.” He scolded.
“You worry too much!” You yelled over the wind. “You’ve taken me on a million rides and haven’t dropped me yet.”
Neteyam smiled at you. Today you were glowing with a glimpse of yourself. Not the person who had been while sick. The real you. It made his heart clench. It pained him but he knew you were right. This was the right choice.
He would rather see you like this than just slowly waste away to nothing. I wanna go out with a bang. You had told him.
Eclipse crept up on the couple as you laid on the ground tangled up in each other. "I love you so much." You told him tears threatening to spill. He kissed your knuckles. "I love you to the moon and back." He whispered.
Smiling fondly at the memory from what felt like an entirety ago. "I can't believe you remember that." You laughed.
He chuckled. Neteyam had spent years committing every part of you to memory. He found your surprise amusing. Of course he’d remember. He remembered it all.
You stayed in his embrace until you couldn't keep your eyes open any longer. "I'm ready Neteyam." You breathed.
He nodded blinking back tears. "I see you Ma'Y/N." He gently caressed your face the best he could.
"I see you Ma'Teyam." You grabbed his hand. "Don't worry I'll see you again. Take your time my love."
"Anything for you my moon." He smiled.
As gently as he could he removed your mask. Taking a deep breath in you smiled as you inhaled the scents of the forest. It smelt even better than you imagined.
Neteyam laid next to you holding your hand looking up to the sky. You admired the stars before glancing over at Neteyam. He met your eyes and smiled. Your breathes were started to become labored. "It's okay love. You can rest now." He said fighting back a sob.
Your vision was turning black around the edges. Neteyam was talking to you but you couldn’t register what he was saying. Slowly your eyes closed. Your chest stopped. Just like that you were gone.
This was exactly how you asked. Neteyam fulfilled every last one of your wishes even if it killed him inside. Your whole life you wanted nothing more than to experience Pandora without any restrictions. And in that brief moment you did.
Neteyam held onto your lifeless body as he sobbed. He knew it was happening but nothing would prepare him for the feeling of you actually being gone.
His love. His mate. His best friend. His moon and stars. Gone forever. You were gone and there was nothing he could do to bring you back.
His body shook as he wailed. Neteyam realized that because you were human you were never connected to the spirit tree. He would never be able to see you again. He would never see you again.
Neteyam spent the whole night grieving you. He knew it was just the beginning of many sleepless nights crying for you.
In the morning he carried you back to home tree. Neteyam insisted that you have a traditional Na’vi burial. It didn’t take much convincing as everyone adored you.
His family helped prepare your body. He begged for help not thinking he was strong enough to do it on his own. Once everything was finished they gave him a moment alone. Spider looked up at him with red puffy eyes giving him a pat on the back.
Neteyam spent his last moment with you whispering sweet nothings that you would never hear. Confessions of love that wouldn’t reach your ears.
The last time Neteyam saw you, you were lowered into the ground. He tried to stay collected not wanting his people to see him weak. But this was unbearable.
After the funeral his grandmother approached him. Pulling him in for a rare hug she caressed his head Lovingly. “She is with Eywa now.” She told him.
He looked up at her in shock. You were a human. Neteyam didn’t think it was possible for a sky person to be with Eywa.
“She is?” He asked breathless.
Mo’at simply nodded before leaving him. Neteyam took a moment to process this revelation. A gentle breeze blew through his hair. Taking a deep breath he tried to ground himself.
A delicate tap on his shoulder caused him to open his eyes. A single atokirina' had landed on him. It gently swayed around him. He cupped the spirit his hands smiling, tears streaming down his cheeks.
You were still here. There is no death. Only change.
#avatar#neteyam#avatar fanfiction#avatar the way of water#avatar imagine#fanfiction#neteyam fanfiction#neteyam imagine#neteyam x na'vi!reader#neteyam x reader#becca writes 🌙#neteyam x y/n#neteyam x reader smut#neteyam smut#neteyam x human reader#oneshot#fanfic#lo’ak fanfiction#jake sully fanfiction#fanfics#lo’ak#Jake sully#neteyam x you#neteyam angst#spider#avatar smut#avatar the movie#avatar spider
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The Dragon’s Treasure has my WHOLE heart 🥹
thank you, babe. i've really enjoyed writing her and aemond
The Dragon's Treasure (3)
pairing | young aemond targaryen x niece!reader
word count | 11k words
summary | “...and for the first time in what felt like ages, you felt a glimmer of happiness for the future.”
tags | as we all know ANGST, ANGST, ANGSTTTT, and eventually rainbow after the storm, SA! (aemonds brothel scene), things do get better y'all, targaryen incest, reader is described to have silver hair and lilac eyes, reader being a sensitive queen, and FLUFF and young love, aemond being a SIMP, TOOTHROTTING FLUFF
a/n | I cried so much, while writing this. I loved writing young aemond, I loved writing young helaena but especially loved writing young reader. I promise you guys this, when I have the time I'll write a one shot of them when they're older and more post-episode 7. When they're older (16&18). Also I really went overboard ngl
likes, comments, reblogs are always appreciated ✨
𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 1 — 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 2 — 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
You weren’t eating again.
Aemond had overheard his mother’s worried whispers as she discussed your condition with the maesters. He was still angry with you—hurt by the thought that you would try to leave them all behind, leave him behind, without a second thought. But no matter how deep his anger ran, his concern for you ran deeper.
After a long and contemplative ride on Vhagar, the weight of the sky above him and the sea below doing little to settle his thoughts, Aemond sought out his mother.
“Aemond,” Alicent began, her voice weary as she looked down at him, her exhaustion evident in the fine lines around her eyes. Between preparing for Aegon and Helaena's wedding and your worsening state, the strain was taking its toll. “I don’t think she’s in the mood for any visitors.”
She still didn’t know the full truth of what had happened—the attempt to run away with Helaena, the plan you had kept hidden from them all. All Alicent knew was that you had retreated into yourself once more, refusing to speak to anyone, even to Helaena, the one who had once pulled you from your darkness.
“It’s her nameday tomorrow,” Aemond murmured, his voice quiet but steady.
Alicent’s face tightened, pain flashing in her eyes as she thought of how you had been before all this—brighter, more spirited. Aemond continued, his tone soft but resolute. “She likes strawberry cakes. Let me bring her one, Mother. Please.”
Alicent’s gaze softened as she looked at her son. Her sharp, determined boy, scarred both in body and soul, yet still showing more kindness than anyone would expect after all he had endured. He had lost an eye, but his heart—his heart still carried a tenderness that surprised her.
She sighed, her shoulders drooping with the weight of her worries. “Very well,” she said softly. “You have my leave to visit her tomorrow.”
Aemond didn’t smile, didn’t show any hint of relief, though inside, the resolve in his chest tightened. He simply nodded in acknowledgment. His mind had already begun to turn over what he would say to you when he saw you—how he might reach you through the walls you had built around yourself.
Tomorrow was your nameday, and whether you liked it or not, Aemond would be there for you.
──────────────────────────────
Aemond’s heart raced as he approached your chambers, his hands gripping the tray carrying strawberry cakes. He had spent much of the morning thinking of what else he could bring—perhaps a necklace, something to match the sapphire that lay hidden beneath his eyepatch. You loved jewelry, and he knew how your eyes lit up at the sight of anything that sparkled. But in the end, he settled on simplicity—just the cakes you loved, hoping they would be enough.
As he neared your door, he was greeted by Ser Rowan, your loyal guard, who stood as firm as ever, his expression stern.
“My prince,” Ser Rowan acknowledged with a nod, his voice gruff. “The princess is in no condition to receive visitors today.”
Aemond stiffened, his chest rising as he squared his shoulders. He would not be turned away so easily. “It is her nameday,” he said firmly, his voice laced with authority. He took a step closer, meeting Ser Rowan’s unyielding gaze with his own, violet eye sharp. “The queen has granted me permission to visit her.”
Ser Rowan remained still, but Aemond didn’t back down. He tilted his head slightly, his tone low and challenging. “Will you disobey the Queen’s word?”
There was a moment of silence as the guard’s eyes flicked down to the tray Aemond carried. His stern expression softened just slightly when he saw the strawberry cakes. Ser Rowan let out a heavy sigh, his duty to you outweighing his hesitation. He too wished for your recovery, and perhaps, he thought, a visit from Aemond might bring some light back into your eyes.
“Very well, my prince,” he said at last, stepping aside. He opened the door with a creak, allowing Aemond to enter.
Aemond took a deep breath, holding the tray steady as he stepped into your chambers. The door closed softly behind him, but the room was dim, heavy with silence. His heart clenched at the sight of you curled up on the bed, facing the wall, your small form barely stirring.
"Niece," Aemond’s voice echoed softly through the room, breaking the heavy silence of your chambers.
There was a pause, and then your voice, quiet and tired, reached him. "Go away."
He pursed his lips, setting the tray down gently on the bedside table. The room was dim, shrouded in a pink hue from your curtains, and he made his way over to the window, pulling the drapes wide open. Sunlight poured in, casting the room in a golden glow.
From behind him, you hissed, "Close them." He heard the rustle of your blankets as you pulled them over your head, shielding yourself from the brightness.
Aemond couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips as he turned back to face you. "Happy Nameday," he said, his tone lighter than before. "I brought you something."
"I don’t want it," you muttered from beneath the covers, your voice muffled and distant.
He sat beside you, his movements careful, placing the tray of strawberry cakes within arm’s reach. "I’m sure you will," he replied softly, hoping to coax you out from your cocoon of blankets.
For a few moments, there was nothing—just the faint sounds of the breeze outside and the distant chatter from the courtyard. Aemond sighed, the weight of the silence between you heavier than he could bear. He reached out, his hand hovering just above your arm, but then hesitated. His fingers twitched before he pulled his hand back, unsure of how to communicate with you.
"You know," he began quietly, his voice careful, "I wouldn’t force that on you. To bear children you don’t want. One would be enough."
There was a sharp scoff from beneath the blankets. "How generous of you," you replied, the bitterness in your tone unmistakable.
Aemond’s jaw tightened, but he kept his gaze steady on the blankets that covered you. His mind drifted to the records he had been reading, the histories you both loved to discuss. He knew how much you valued stories of the past, of old kings and queens, of the lives they led. Swallowing, he decided to share what had been on his mind, hoping it might reach you.
"I’ve been reading more since our last talk," he murmured. "About King Jaehaerys and Queen Alysanne. Even after many children, he made her bear more when she didn’t wish to." His voice was soft but steady, the weight of his words hanging in the air between you. He had been thinking of you, trying to understand your fears.
The sunlight streamed across your bed, casting shadows as Aemond spoke. He knew that love was rare among their kind, especially in Targaryen unions, but he hoped. Hoped that maybe, in time, you would not just be duty and title to him.
"I would never do that to you," he added, his tone sincere, almost vulnerable. "I want our marriage to be different."
The room was still. The only sound was the faint rustling of the breeze outside, and the quiet breathing of Dreamfyre from somewhere far beyond your window. Aemond’s words lingered, waiting for you to respond, to show him something—anything—that might bridge the gap between you.
Slowly, you lowered the blankets just enough for your eyes to peek out, meeting Aemond's gaze. "He was a bad man," you mumbled, referring to King Jaehaerys.
Aemond, ever the scholar, couldn’t resist. "He was a good king," he pointed out, his tone firm but calm.
You rolled your eyes, a small defiance shining through your sadness. "Still a bad man." For a moment, the two of you just stared at each other, and then you added thoughtfully, "Aenys Targaryen was a good man."
Aemond let out a scoff. "He was weak."
You narrowed your eyes at him, but there was a flicker of something behind your lilac gaze, something like amusement. "A weak king, yes. Only because he tried to make everyone happy."
Your eyes shifted towards the tray on the bedside table, where the strawberry cakes sat. After a moment of hesitation, your voice, still tinged with sadness, broke the silence. "Is today really my nameday?"
Aemond nodded, his own expression softening. "Yes."
"Oh." Your response was quiet, almost absent-minded, as if you were still processing.
Aemond reached for the tray and held it out to you, offering a tentative smile. "Would you like one?"
You eyed the cakes, and though your sadness still lingered, something softened in your expression. "Those do look nice," you murmured. Finally, you pulled the blanket away from your face and sat up slowly, your movements careful and deliberate. Though your face remained neutral, devoid of the joy that used to light it up, you gave a small nod. "Alright."
Aemond couldn’t help the small smile that spread across his face as he handed you a cake. It wasn’t much, but seeing you like this—out of bed, talking to him—felt like a small victory.
As you took a bite, your eyes flickered to his once more, and Aemond stayed beside you, content with the simple moment of shared silence, hopeful that things might get better.
Aemond felt as though he were trapped in a cage of unbearable heat, the air around him thick, suffocating. The wine—a dark, bitter liquid that Aegon had forced upon him—now churned wildly in his stomach, its taste sour and unpleasant. He longed to rid himself of it, to escape the strange and unfamiliar sensations overtaking him.
It was after the grand feast in honor of his thirteenth nameday that Aegon, with a sly grin and a glint in his eye, had promised him a "surprise." Aemond, still naive to the darker aspects of his brother’s humor, had followed without protest, his curiosity outweighing his caution. They had ventured deep into King’s Landing, to a shadowed place Aemond had never seen before—a pleasure house filled with laughter and the soft rustling of silks.
Before Aemond could voice his hesitation, Aegon had disappeared into the throng of bodies, swallowed by the merry voices and whispers of the women within. And Aemond was left alone, standing awkwardly, unsure of what was to happen next.
He was led into a small chamber, dimly lit by flickering candles, their soft glow casting strange and unsettling shadows on the walls. The tapestries that adorned the room depicted scenes he barely understood—men and women entwined in ways that seemed more confusing than enticing. He felt a knot tightening in his chest, and a cold wave of dread settled over him.
Then she entered—a woman far older than his mother, her presence overwhelming in the confined space. She smiled at him, her voice soft and syrupy, laced with sweet lies that made his skin crawl. She cooed over him, her hands reaching for him before he had the chance to say anything, her touch gentle yet intrusive as she began to undress him.
Aemond’s heart pounded in his chest, and every fiber of his being screamed for her to stop, to leave him be. But his voice—his strength—had abandoned him. He remained frozen, his limbs stiff and unresponsive as she whispered things into his ear, words he wished he hadn’t heard, promises he didn’t understand.
When it was over, Aemond was left numb. He sat there, silent, as if his body no longer belonged to him, as though he had become something entirely separate from himself. Trembling, he fumbled with his clothes, his fingers shaking as he struggled to dress. His mind was a whirl of confusion, shame, and anger, but above all, he felt the desperate need to flee.
He didn’t care where Aegon had gone, didn’t want to face him or anyone else. The only thought that filled his mind was reaching you, his niece, his betrothed, his future wife, the one person who might make him feel whole again.
His feet carried him through the secret passageways of Maegor’s Holdfast, each step heavy with fear and sorrow. His breaths came in sharp, ragged gasps, his chest aching as he pushed himself to move faster. His tears—hot and unbidden—ran down his cheeks, blurring his vision, but he did not stop.
He passed his own chambers, the rooms of his mother, and everyone else, not wanting to explain the mess of emotions swirling inside him. He only wanted you.
It felt as though the gods had granted Aemond a moment of mercy when he reached your chambers, finding Ser Rowan absent from his post. Without hesitation, he pushed open the door and stepped inside, his heart still racing, tears brimming in his eye as he struggled to hold them back.
You were fast asleep, your back turned toward him. Aemond let out a quiet breath of relief. He hadn’t come to disturb you, only to be near you—just your presence, your warmth, was enough to calm the storm inside him.
Quietly, he made his way to your bed and carefully, as if afraid to wake you, slid in beside you. He kept a respectful distance, not wanting to intrude, but just close enough to feel your presence. The motion stirred you from your sleep, and you sat up, blinking in confusion.
Your eyes widened when they fell on Aemond, and for a brief, horrible moment, he realised it was because of his face. He had forgotten—he had left his eye patch behind at the brothel. The clear ragged sapphire was bare for you to see.
Panic surged through him. You would be disgusted, he thought, repelled by the sight of his disfigurement. He moved to leave, heart pounding, but your voice reached him before he could retreat.
“Aemond, breathe,” you whispered, your strained voice soft and steady.
He froze, his chest tight with the effort to suppress his panic. He needed to leave—he couldn’t bear for you to see him like this. Not you, his dearest niece, who always knew him as strong, as whole. He couldn’t let you witness the broken, ruined side of him.
But then, you reached out, grabbing his trembling hands in your own small ones, your touch warm and gentle. "Please, stay," you whispered, your voice filled with concern. Slowly, you began rubbing his cold hands, trying to bring warmth back to him, both in body and spirit.
His breathing was still uneven, but your soft words and the warmth of your touch soothed him. He looked up, meeting your eyes for the first time. There was no disgust there, no fear—only worry and care. Just like before. Slowly, the tension began to leave his body, and for the first time since he had fled that terrible place, Aemond felt a glimmer of relief.
He swallowed hard, his voice barely a whisper. “I… I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to see me like this.”
You shook your head, squeezing his hands a little tighter. "I don’t care about your face, Aemond," you murmured softly, your tired lilac eyes meeting his. "I care about you."
As you gently laid back onto your pillow, you looked at Aemond with concern, urging him to lie beside you. He hesitated for a moment, but slowly, he did as you asked, his awkward frame seeming out of place in your small bed. You turned to face him, your wide lilac eyes full of care, while Aemond’s own single violet eye struggled to meet yours.
With quiet care, you reached out, placing your small hand on his scarred cheek. He flinched at first, his breath catching in his throat, but you didn’t pull away. Your fingers traced the jagged line of the scar that ran down his face, the skin rough beneath your touch. It was as if you weren’t looking at the scar at all, just him—Aemond, your beloved uncle, the boy who protected you, who read to you, who you always knew to be brave.
He shivered under your touch, his emotions twisting inside him. But you said nothing more, just a quiet, simple comfort.
“Sleep, Aemond,” you whispered softly, your voice gentle and soothing. “I’ll be here when you wake.”
The words wrapped around him like a balm, a promise in the soft glow of the dim candlelight. For so long, Aemond had carried his burdens alone, but in this moment, with your hand on his face and your soft breath mingling with the night air, he felt something he hadn’t allowed himself to feel since Driftmark—peace.
His eye fluttered shut, and with the rhythm of your breathing beside him, he let himself drift away, finally surrendering to sleep.
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Aemond entered your chambers quietly, the weight of the box in his hands almost insignificant compared to the heaviness that lingered in the air. He had been allowed to visit freely now, thanks to Ser Rowan's softening stance, but each visit felt like walking on a thread, delicate and uncertain.
He paused when he saw you on the chaise, struggling with your embroidery. The soft light from the window highlighted the paleness of your features—still recovering, still distant, but better than before. You were eating now, and though your mood hadn't brightened, that small improvement brought Aemond some comfort. He cherished these moments, even if they were shrouded in silence.
"I've brought something for you," he said, his voice steady yet quiet as he approached.
You glanced up from your work but said nothing. The tangled mess of threads on the pillow caught his eye, and he bent slightly to inspect it, attempting to mask the awkwardness he always felt in the wake of that night. He hadn’t been ready to speak of it, and thankfully, neither had you.
"That’s a nice lion," Aemond offered, pointing to the uneven form stitched into the fabric.
Your lips parted slightly, a faint glimmer of amusement mixing with frustration as you murmured, "It was supposed to be the Queen."
Aemond’s lips twitched in response, nodding solemnly as if in deep thought. "Now that you say it," he replied, his voice light, "I do recognize her hair."
With a small sigh, you tossed the pillow aside like it was something offensive, watching as it tumbled to the floor, forgotten. Your eyes flickered towards the box in Aemond’s hands, suspicion mingling with curiosity.
"What have you brought me?" you asked, your voice quiet, but holding a hint of anticipation.
Aemond didn’t reply at first, simply stepping forward and offering the box to you, his expression unreadable. You hesitated for a moment, then carefully took it from him.
Your fingers trembled slightly as you lifted the lid, pulling back the fine paper that covered the gift inside. A soft gasp escaped your lips as you uncovered a stunning gown—lilac silk adorned with delicate embroidery, tiny jewels catching the light like stars. Your hands traced the fabric, feeling the softness beneath your fingertips, the craftsmanship clear in every stitch.
Aemond watched you intently, his eyes never leaving your face. For the first time in what felt like forever, there was a shift in your expression—a glimmer of something that almost resembled joy.
"Do you like it?" he asked, his voice low, holding his breath as he awaited your response.
You glanced up at him, and for the first time in many moons, you smiled. It was small, barely there, but it warmed Aemond's heart like the sun after a long winter.
"Yes, I do," you replied softly, still admiring the gown. "What's it for?"
"Helaena's wedding."
At once, the warmth in the room seemed to drain away. The smile you had given Aemond, fleeting as it was, vanished, leaving a hollow silence in its wake. His heart sank, watching as you carefully folded the gown, tucking it back into the box with deliberate gentleness. The delicate fabric crinkled under your hands as though it were something too precious to be touched, something that no longer belonged to you.
"I'm afraid you've wasted your efforts," you said, your voice barely above a whisper, your gaze fixed on the gown. "I'm not going."
Aemond's brow furrowed, frustration bubbling beneath his calm exterior. He stepped closer, his voice steady yet urgent. "You have to go."
But you refused to meet his eye. You knew how intense his gaze could be, how easily it could pierce through your defenses. Staring at the box instead, you shook your head, your words coming out firm, resolute. "I won't."
Aemond's lips pressed into a thin line, the familiar weight of your stubbornness settling between you both. "Helaena needs you," he urged, his tone softening, as if pleading might sway you.
You let out a bitter sigh, your fingers tracing the edge of the box, a dull ache settling in your chest. "Well, perhaps I can hurt her the same way she hurt me," you muttered, your words tinged with petulance, though the pain beneath them was clear.
Aemond stood in silence for a long moment, weighing your words, the tension in the air thick between you. His voice, quieter this time, broke the silence like a whisper carried on the wind. "Will you really not go?"
"No," you replied, though your voice softened now, the sharp edge of defiance fading. You hesitated, a flicker of doubt crossing your face. You raised your chin, trying to hold onto the last bit of resolve. "Now, is that all you've come to visit me for?"
Aemond's heart ached at the sight of you—so distant, so caught in your own sorrow. He stood there, unsure of how to reach you, the distance between you feeling far more than just the space in the room.
The day of Helaena’s wedding arrived, and just as you had promised, you didn’t go. Aemond had come to your chambers in the morning, his expression pleading as he urged you one last time to change your mind. His words were careful, filled with the weight of his disappointment, but still, you remained firm.
You had refused.
As the sun set, casting a warm golden hue across the castle walls, you lay alone in your chambers, curled beneath the thick blankets on your bed. The echoes of the celebrations reached your ears in faint murmurs, muffled by the heavy stone of the keep. The joyous sounds of laughter and music only seemed to deepen the ache in your heart.
It was when night fell fully that the tears came, slow at first, then faster, spilling onto your pillow as regret took hold of you. You wiped your eyes with the back of your hand, but it did little to stop the sadness that had finally caught up to you. You could see it so clearly in your mind—Helaena standing alone in the grand Sept, a pale and fragile figure, her face drawn with sorrow. You imagined her forced to marry Aegon, the brother you both knew was unfit for her, and the weight of your absence pressed hard on your chest.
How could you not have been there for her?
The thought made you feel smaller, childish even. You had let your anger and hurt guide you, and in doing so, you had abandoned Helaena on one of the worst days of her life. She was likely miserable, her heart heavy with sadness, and you, spiteful and stubborn, had stayed away. You bit your lip, choking back a sob.
Your gaze drifted to the gown Aemond had gifted you, still lying folded neatly in the box by your bedside, untouched, its lilac fabric gleaming faintly in the moonlight. You reached for it now, pulling the soft material through your fingers as though it could offer you some comfort.
But it didn’t.
It only reminded you of the mistake you had made.
You missed your mother.
For all the hurt she caused, all the ways she had abandoned you, there was still a deep ache for her, like a wound that wouldn’t heal. You wanted to hate her, truly despise her for leaving you behind. But no matter how much you tried, you couldn’t. The love for her still clung to you like a shadow you couldn’t lose.
As the days passed in the quiet isolation of your chambers, you began to understand things you hadn’t before. With each lonely hour, the weight of your thoughts pressed harder on your heart. Your mother had been selfish, more than you had ever allowed yourself to admit. She had promised you the world, and yet, in the end, she had given you nothing.
You were her firstborn, the eldest of her children, and yet the title that should have been yours had been passed to Jace. He was her heir to the Iron Throne, the future king, while you were left to the shadows. Even Driftmark, the seat of your grandsire, should have been yours by birthright, but it had been given to Luke instead.
The bitterness inside you grew with every thought. You hated them now—your brothers. You knew it was childish, petulant even, but the feelings were there, and they wouldn’t leave. They had taken everything from you. Titles that were rightfully yours, the pride of riding dragons, and worst of all, they still had your mother. They were together as one big happy family on Dragonstone, while you had been left here in King's Landing, a forgotten daughter in the midst of their enemies.
“It’s fine,” you whispered to yourself in the dark, trying to believe it. You had never liked Dragonstone anyway, with its cold winds and sharp rocks. But even as you said it, your heart tightened with the lie. You missed the place, the warmth of the hearth, the sight of the sea from your window, and the feeling of belonging—something you hadn’t felt in so long.
And in the quiet moments, when the anger settled and the room was still, you knew the truth. It wasn’t your brothers’ fault. They hadn’t asked for this, to be born as they were, with all the whispers and shadows cast over their lineage. No, it was your mother’s choices that had led to this. Her indiscretions. But even as that truth formed in your mind, you found that you couldn’t hate her.
It was easier to be angry with them—with Jace and Luke—because hating her, the one you loved most, was something you just couldn’t bear.
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"I hated you, you know."
Aemond's head jerked up, eyes widening at the unexpected words. He had been sitting quietly in your chambers, absorbed in a thick tome about the horrors of Essos. You stood across the room, brush in hand, painting the pink walls of your chamber as if it were any other day. But there was a tension in the air, a weight to your voice that made his heart quicken.
You didn’t look at him, your gaze fixed on the canvas as you murmured, "When you claimed Vhagar, I hated you."
The words hung in the air, sharp and heavy. Aemond’s mouth parted slightly, but no words came out. His heart pounded in his chest as he watched you. The stillness of the room was broken only by the soft strokes of your brush against the canvas.
"I feel as if I hate everyone," you continued, voice tight and strained. "I hate Luke and Jace for stealing my titles." Your brush moved faster, more aggressively. "I hate Daemon for stealing my mother. I even hate Baela and Rhaena, if only because they get to have her now, as if she’s theirs instead of mine."
A scoff escaped your lips, but the sound was bitter. Aemond noticed the way your hand trembled slightly, how your breath caught as tears glistened in your lilac eyes.
"I hated Helaena for not running away with me," you whispered, the words coming out choked. "And I hate myself for not having a dragon, for not being someone important, someone worthy of a title."
Tears began streaming down your face, and yet you kept painting, as if the act itself could somehow keep the flood of emotions at bay. Finally, your gaze lifted from the canvas and met Aemond’s. His heart clenched at the sight of your tear-streaked face.
"And I hated you," you said, voice breaking, "for claiming Vhagar and leaving me alone in this world."
The sob that followed was wrenching, and Aemond couldn’t stay still any longer. He moved toward you, closing the distance between you both with careful, deliberate steps. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you into his chest, your head resting on his shoulder as you wept.
"I don’t want to feel this way," you cried into his tunic, voice muffled and raw. "So pathetic, so angry at everyone. But I can’t help it. And yet, no matter how hard I try, I can never hate her."
Aemond’s chest tightened at your words, his own emotions swirling in a storm he didn’t know how to express. He rested his chin gently on your head, holding you as tightly as he dared, feeling the weight of your pain as if it were his own.
"I know," he whispered softly, his voice rough with emotion. "I know."
And so he held you, offering no more words, just the quiet comfort of his presence as your tears slowly soaked into his shoulder. He wished he could consume your pain and take it away, wished he could make things right. But all he could do was stand there, arms around you, as the world outside seemed so far away.
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“How is Helaena?”
It was the first time in what felt like forever that you had left your chambers. Aemond had been persistent, urging you to take some air, to leave the four walls that had become your prison. Reluctantly, you agreed, and now the two of you sat beneath the heart tree in the Godswood, surrounded by the stillness of nature. Aemond had brought a stack of books, ones he knew you both enjoyed, hoping they might distract you.
“The same as ever,” Aemond answered absently, his attention flickering between the pages of the book in his lap and the rustling leaves above.
He paused, glancing up at you. "She’s set to give birth in three moons' time," he added, his voice soft, as if the thought still surprised him.
You looked down, your heart aching at how quickly time had passed. It had been almost two years since you had returned to King’s Landing, and though you tried to avoid thinking about it, you knew things would never be the same. “Is her pregnancy going well?” you asked quietly, your voice small against the whisper of the wind.
Aemond pursed his lips, his brow furrowing in thought. “She has strange cravings," he said, his voice low. "And her belly is… large, perhaps too large for just six moons.” He hesitated for a moment, his gaze lingering on you. “I’m sure a visit from you would lift her spirits,” he suggested, his tone careful, as though he didn’t want to push too hard.
You shook your head almost immediately, your silver curls spilling over your shoulders. “I’m not sure it would,” you murmured, your voice full of doubt.
Aemond studied you for a long moment, his sharp violet eye watching the way your expression shifted, the way your gaze seemed to turn inward. "She speaks of you sometimes," he said quietly, trying to find the right words to reach you. "She misses you."
You sighed, pulling your knees to your chest as you looked away from him, your fingers tracing idle patterns in the grass. You missed her too.
Aemond, noticing the sadness clouding your face, cleared his throat, quickly steering the conversation elsewhere. “Perhaps when you feel better,” he began, his voice lighter, “you could join me on a ride with Vhagar.”
Your head snapped up in surprise. “Me? Ride Vhagar?” You shook your head. “I’m not sure Vhagar would like me. A loud, annoying girl.”
Aemond raised a brow, his face dead serious. “If that were true, Vhagar would’ve eaten Baela and Rhaena years ago.”
For the first time in what felt like an eternity, you laughed. A real laugh, bubbling up from deep within, spilling out in a way that felt foreign yet so relieving. Two years of being shut away in your chambers, and now here you were, laughing at Aemond’s dry humor. The sound filled the Godswood, bright and full of life.
Aemond, momentarily stunned, blinked at you in astonishment. He hadn’t expected it, not after everything, but when his mind caught up, a broad smile tugged at his lips. The kind of smile that was rare for him, genuine and unguarded.
“Vhagar will love you,” he said, his voice quiet but sure. He hesitated for just a moment, his thoughts turning to words he longed to say but didn’t. Just as I do, he thought. But instead, he insisted with a warmth in his tone, “I’m sure of that.”
You gave a small shrug, murmuring, "Maybe," without truly committing to the idea.
Aemond studied your face for a moment, his heart lighter at the sound of your earlier laughter, and before he could stop himself, the words tumbled out. "I claimed Vhagar for the both of us."
Your expression shifted in an instant, the color draining from your face as you stared at him. "What?" you mumbled, barely above a whisper.
Aemond averted his gaze, trying to appear casual, though his heart raced. "I remembered what you said—about sharing a dragon. And when your dragon egg didn’t hatch, I decided... Vhagar should be for both of us." He looked up, meeting your startled lilac eyes with his steady violet one. "For you and me to share."
Tears welled in your eyes without warning, and Aemond’s calm composure crumbled. He immediately scrambled to your side, kneeling in the grass and reaching out to comfort you. "No, no, I didn’t mean to make you cry," he said, his hands hovering nervously, unsure of what to do.
You waved his hands away, though a small smile began to form through your tears. "I feel a bit foolish now," you admitted, as tears continued to fall down your cheeks.
Aemond took your hands gently in his, bringing them to his lips in a tender kiss. "And so?" He whispered, his gaze filled with sincerity.
As the tears dried on your cheeks, you let out a shaky breath, though your nose remained a bit red. "But... I think Vhagar is much more suited for you," you finally said, your voice still soft but calmer.
Aemond nodded, willing to agree if it brought you comfort. "Will you still consider joining me?" he asked, his tone hopeful.
You looked at him, your smile returning, this time more playful. "I shall," you said with a teasing glint in your eyes, your hands still resting in his.
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"Princess, are you almost done?"
Ser Rowan’s voice was tinged with exasperation as he stood with arms raised, holding the pose you had instructed. You had begged him to model for your painting when he arrived to greet you at dawn, and now the sun was climbing high in the sky, casting warm rays through the window. Despite the time, he remained your patient subject.
"Almost, Ser Rowan," you replied cheerfully, your brush gliding across the canvas as you focused on capturing the details of his expression.
The knight let out a weary sigh, feeling his muscles beginning to stiffen. Yet he would endure anything to keep the smile on your face; he was your willing captive, devoted to your whims.
Suddenly, the door burst open, and Ser Rowan instinctively straightened, positioning himself protectively in front of you. He relaxed his stance when he saw Prince Aemond enter, though a worried look darkened the prince's features.
"Aemond, what’s wrong?" you asked, your brow furrowing in concern as you set down your brush.
The prince was out of breath, urgency threading through his voice. "Helaena went into labor last night. It’s been long and difficult. She’s calling for you."
Your eyes widened, and you opened your mouth in shock, struggling to find your voice amidst the sudden rush of fear and worry.
Before you could respond, Ser Rowan spoke softly but firmly. "Princess, we must go."
You nodded, the news settling in your stomach like a stone, heavy and cold. You hurriedly followed Aemond and Ser Rowan out of your chamber, your heart pounding with a mix of concern and guilt.
Thoughts raced through your mind—what would you say to Helaena? Would she forgive you for not being there these past months? You hadn’t seen her in nearly ten moons, too consumed by your own sadness to leave your room.
As the three of you made your way to the birthing chambers, the air felt thick with anticipation. Upon reaching the door, you encountered another guard who bowed respectfully at your approach.
"The princess has successfully given birth, your Highnesses," he announced, his voice steady.
You and Aemond exchanged a glance, relief washing over you, and he offered you an encouraging nod. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself to enter and see Helaena, the weight of your past decisions lingering in the back of your mind, but hope beginning to spark within your heart.
As you stepped into the chamber, your eyes immediately found Queen Alicent standing in the center, cradling a tiny bundle in her arms. A soft glow of love radiated from her as she looked down at Helaena's babe, a precious life nestled against her.
Your gaze shifted, and you gasped softly when you finally spotted Helaena on the birthing bed. To your astonishment, she was holding another baby as well.
"Twins," you murmured, the words slipping out louder than intended, catching the attention of both the Queen and Helaena.
Alicent's eyes widened in surprise, and a warm smile spread across her face at the sight of you. "Princess, it brings me joy to see you out of your chambers," she said, her voice gentle.
You nodded, feeling a rush of embarrassment as you shifted your gaze back to Helaena. She was already looking at you, her expression filled with a mix of fatigue and joy. Slowly, you approached the bed, holding your breath as you took in the sight before you.
The babe in Helaena's arms had the unmistakable silver hair of House Targaryen, a stark contrast to the dark-haired children of your brothers. You couldn’t tell if it was a boy or girl, but the sight of the tiny face, so fragile and perfect, made your heart swell.
"What are their names?" you asked softly, careful not to disturb the babe's slumber. Your voice barely rose above a whisper, filled with wonder.
A tiny smile bloomed on Helaena's weary face, her eyes lighting up with pride. She gestured to the babe nestled in her arms. "This is Jaehaera," she said, her voice tender. Then she nodded toward the child cradled by Queen Alicent. "And that is Jaehaerys."
You nodded slowly, feeling a swell of warmth at the names, though a shadow lingered in your mind. You didn’t dare ask where Aegon was; the thought of him missing the birth of his children felt too heavy to voice. Carefully, you settled beside Helaena on the birthing bed, the air filled with soft silence and the smell of newborns.
"I'm sorry," you whispered, unable to meet her gaze as your eyes traced the delicate features of Jaehaera. The babe's tiny fingers curled and unfurled, and your heart ached with a mix of joy and regret.
Helaena's hand found yours, giving a gentle squeeze. "I'm sorry too," she replied, her voice thick with emotion.
Looking up at her, a relieved smile broke through your sadness, tears glistening in your eyes. In that moment, the past felt a little lighter, the bond between you strengthening. But then Helaena's expression turned hopeful. "Would you like to hold her?"
You immediately shook your head, anxiety creeping in. "I don't know how."
"I didn’t know how either before this," Helaena said, her voice soft and encouraging. She carefully passed Jaehaera into your arms. You cradled the babe as if she were made of glass, your heart racing with both fear and delight. "It’s very easy."
A small laugh escaped you, bubbling with nervousness. "She’s very small."
"Yes," Helaena murmured, a hint of nostalgia in her tone. "Just as we were once."
You gazed down at the sleeping babe, feeling the weight of her tiny form in your arms. You glanced up at Helaena, her eyes shining with love and hope, and for the first time in what felt like ages, you felt a glimmer of happiness for the future.
You let out a huge yawn as you finally walked back to your chambers, the weight of the day settling on your shoulders. You had spent most of your time in Helaena's chambers, cradling Jaehaerys and Jaehaera in your arms. Queen Alicent had eagerly encouraged your visits, saying it was good practice for when you would have your own children with Aemond.
The thought felt strange yet comforting. After so many hours spent with the tiny babes, you found yourself warming to the idea of one day having a child with Aemond. Of course, that was a distant thought; you were only twelve now, and marriage was still years away. Yet, the notion no longer filled you with dread.
As your health improved and your mood lightened, Queen Alicent insisted you return to your princess lessons with Septa Agertha. The strict septa had been happy to resume your lessons, and to your surprise, she seemed kinder and softer than before, guiding you patiently through your studies.
Despite your busy days, you always tried to carve out time for Aemond. You cherished those moments, whether you were reading together in the library, basking in the sunlight of the gardens, or watching him train with his sword. Today, you couldn’t help but admire how effortlessly he took down Aegon during practice, his movements fluid and precise.
As you entered your chambers, your eyes immediately narrowed at the sight of Aemond standing amidst the soft pinks of your room, a striking contrast in his dark green leather. He looked entirely out of place, and the nervous smile tugging at his lips only deepened your suspicion.
"It is highly improper for you to visit my chambers so late, Aemond," you teased, crossing your arms as you arched an eyebrow. "Does Ser Rowan know about this?"
Aemond’s smile grew as he replied with a hint of mystery, "Ser Rowan does not know all the entrances to your room."
You rolled your eyes, amused but unconvinced. However, something behind Aemond caught your attention—a small object sitting on your table. You moved closer, but Aemond swiftly stepped in front of you, his hands gently resting on your waist to stop you.
"Wait," he said quickly, clearing his throat. "Before you get angry… don’t. Just trust me."
You eyed him suspiciously but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips.
"Happy Nameday," Aemond said quietly, almost as if he were embarrassed by the gesture.
You blinked, raising an eyebrow. "Aemond, my nameday was a week ago."
"Still," he muttered, avoiding your gaze for a moment.
With curiosity getting the better of you, you gently pushed past him, approaching the table where the mysterious item sat. There, on the table, was a small brazier pot, the kind used for hatching dragon eggs. Your heart quickened as you slowly lifted the lid.
A heavy sigh escaped your lips when you saw the sparkly navy blue egg resting inside, hot as ever. "Aemond," you whispered, feeling a mix of exasperation and affection.
Aemond stepped up behind you, resting his chin lightly on your shoulder as he whispered in your ear, "I know. But you know what they say—fourth time’s the charm."
You let out a soft laugh, rolling your eyes as you turned to face him. Your noses were practically touching as you corrected him, "It’s third time’s the charm, you stubborn idiot."
"I also brought strawberry cakes," Aemond said, seeing that the sight of the dragon egg had done little to lift your spirits.
You tilted your head with a small smile, "You know the way to my heart, Aemond Targaryen."
The two of you found yourselves lounging on your grand pink canopy bed, nestled among the cushions, feasting on strawberry cakes that Aemond had brought for you. The scent of the sweet berries filled the air, and for a moment, all seemed simple and light in your world.
“Aemond, I’ve been thinking,” you began thoughtfully, wiping a bit of cream from your lips.
Aemond raised an eyebrow, his lips curving into a mischievous smirk. “My, my, that is worrisome,” he teased, his voice playful.
You shot him a sharp glare before rolling your eyes. With a lift of your chin, you said firmly, “I’ve decided our first child must be a girl.”
Aemond blinked at you, stunned by the declaration. “You understand we do not get to choose, yes?”
You waved his words away dismissively, as if the very idea of leaving such an important matter to chance was absurd. “I believe if I am firm in my belief, then I shall have the choice,” you replied with the confidence only a twelve-year-old could muster.
Aemond gave you a long, bemused look, as if weighing your words for any sense. After a moment, he sighed and shook his head. “Why?” he asked, indulging your fanciful notion.
“Do not mistake me,” you began, leaning back into the pillows with a thoughtful expression. “I love both Jaehaera and Jaehaerys equally. And if we were to have a son, I would love him just as much.”
A big, silly grin spread across your face as you continued, “But I want a daughter. I want to dress her up, match with her, and have her follow me around in little gowns.”
Aemond gave you a knowing look. “You have Jaehaera for that.”
You pouted dramatically, the cake in your hand momentarily forgotten. “It’s not the same. Jaehaera is Helaena’s, not mine.”
Aemond chuckled softly at your logic. “Alright, alright,” he conceded, raising his hands as if surrendering. “I shall pray to the Seven for us to be blessed with a daughter first.”
Then, almost as an afterthought, he added, “Perhaps a daughter and a son at the same time?”
You glared at him, flicking a cake crumb in his direction. “Why would you wish something like that upon me? Twins?” You shook your head vehemently.
Aemond’s amused smile only widened as he met your deathly serious gaze. “You’re right, my bad,” he said with a chuckle, brushing the crumb off his tunic.
You huffed, but your irritation quickly melted away as you stuffed another bite of cake into your mouth, a small smile tugging at your lips. Despite his teasing, you knew that Aemond would pray to the Seven for whatever you wished—even if that meant asking for something as impossible as choosing your firstborn's gender.
You glanced down at the strawberry cake in your hand, scrunching your nose. "With all this cake you keep bringing me, Aemond, I’m going to grow fat."
Aemond gave you a thoughtful look, his expression serious yet teasing at the same time. "And? Do they not say that more is always better?"
You tried to hold back your amusement, but despite your best effort, a smile tugged at your lips. You sighed, shaking your head as you chuckled softly. "You’re incorrigible."
Aemond tilted his head, the corner of his mouth lifting ever so slightly. "Perhaps. But I speak the truth." His eye glimmered as they held yours for a moment longer. "A bit of extra weight would not lessen your beauty."
You blushed, looking away from him as you fiddled with the edge of your dress. "You say that now," you muttered, trying to sound annoyed, but your heart felt light.
"I shall always say that," Aemond countered smoothly, his voice unwavering, as if he truly meant every word. "No matter what the years bring, you will always be perfect to me."
A warmth spread through you, making your cheeks burn even more. You tried to dismiss it, waving a hand at him. "You just want me to keep eating cake so I’ll be too heavy to run away when you’re being impossible."
Aemond smiled at that, his violet eye gleaming with mirth. "Perhaps. Or maybe I just enjoy seeing you happy. And if it takes cake to do that, so be it."
You laughed then, shaking your head at him. "You’ve won this time, but I’ll have my revenge when I’m too fat to walk."
Aemond smirked, leaning closer to you with a satisfied look. "I’ll carry you, then."
You tilted your head, rolling your eyes at Aemond, wondering why he was looking at you like that, as if the world had shifted between the two of you. Somehow, without realizing it, you had drifted closer, your faces mere inches apart. You could feel his breath, soft and warm, as he leaned in further. His eye fluttered shut, and your heart skipped a beat as you sensed what was coming.
Before anything could happen, your hand instinctively shot up, covering his mouth. Aemond froze, opening his eye wide to see you staring at him with confusion. "What are you doing?" you asked, your voice full of suspicion.
He mumbled something beneath your hand, and you lowered it, giving him a curious look as you tried to catch his words.
Clearing his throat, clearly embarrassed, he murmured, "I was trying to kiss you."
You squinted at him, still doubtful. "Aemond," you began cautiously, "Septa Agertha says if a maiden and a man kiss, she’ll become with child. And I think we should at least wait until the twins’ first nameday before we bring another baby into the castle."
Aemond’s lips pressed together tightly, trying to suppress a laugh. His ears turned red as he responded, "Maidens do not become pregnant because of kisses."
"Then how do they become with child?" you asked, raising a challenging brow, your tone daring him to contradict what you’d been taught.
Aemond’s face flushed deeply, and his gaze flickered away in sheer embarrassment. He seemed to search for a way to avoid the topic. "Your Septa will tell you... in time," he muttered, clearly hoping to escape further questioning.
You were about to protest, about to accuse your Septa of lying again—how could you trust her after she said that about kissing? But the sight of Aemond’s bright red cheeks and the way he squirmed told you it was better to drop it. So, with a sigh, you decided to change the subject. "So then," you asked, "why do people kiss if it’s not to make babies?"
Aemond shifted awkwardly before murmuring, "To show affection. It’s what people do when they love each other. Married couples especially."
You raised a skeptical eyebrow, folding your arms. "I’ve never seen my mother and father kiss. And I’ve never seen Grandsire and the Queen kiss either."
Aemond made an exasperated sound, running a hand through his hair. "Well... they’re different," he said, sounding both frustrated and amused.
You tilted your head again, considering his words. "Different how?"
"Just different," Aemond replied, a faint smile tugging at his lips as he looked at you. "Not everyone is... affectionate like that."
"So, you want to kiss me because you’re affectionate?" you teased, a small smirk growing on your face.
Aemond’s ears burned again, and he glanced away, muttering under his breath. "Something like that..."
You tilted your head, watching him with amusement before shrugging nonchalantly. "Alright," you said, as if it were the most casual thing in the world. "You may kiss me."
Aemond's head snapped back toward you, his eye wide in disbelief. "Really?" he asked, unsure if you were being serious.
You nodded, offering him a small smile before puckering your lips in a way you thought was appropriate for a kiss. "Go on, then," you said, your lips pursed in a dramatic display.
Aemond stared at you for a moment, utterly bewildered. "You can't stare at me like that," he finally managed, his voice a little strangled as he glanced away again, clearly nervous.
Rolling your eyes, you sighed, "Alright, Aemond," and then did as he requested, squeezing your eyes shut. You sat there, waiting for him to make the first move, your heart thumping in your chest even though you tried to act as though it didn’t matter at all.
The room felt strangely quiet, save for the soft crackling of the fire in the hearth. You could hear Aemond shift slightly, feel the warmth of him as he leaned in closer. The air between you felt charged, as if something important was about to happen.
His breath ghosted across your lips, soft and hesitant, and your heart skipped a beat. But just as you thought the kiss was going to happen, Aemond hesitated again.
"Are you certain?" he whispered, his voice soft and uncertain, as if he didn’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable.
Without opening your eyes, you replied with a huff, "Yes, Aemond. Just do it."
Aemond finally leaned in, pressing his lips gently to yours in the briefest of kisses. It was awkward and tentative, like neither of you really knew what you were doing, but it was soft and sweet in its own way.
When he pulled back, you opened your eyes, blinking at him. The two of you sat there for a moment, staring at each other in silence, unsure of what to say or do next.
"Well?" Aemond asked, his voice low, his cheeks still a little flushed. "How was that?"
You pursed your lips, considering. "It wasn’t so bad," you admitted, then smiled, a hint of mischief in your eyes. "But I don't think that’ll make me with child, so Septa Agertha must be wrong after all."
Aemond let out a small, relieved chuckle, the tension easing from his shoulders. "No," he agreed quietly, "that won't make you with child."
You both shared a soft laugh, the awkwardness melting away as you realized it wasn’t as strange or nerve-wracking as you thought it would be.
Still, after a moment, you tilted your head and added thoughtfully, "Mayhaps we can try again another time... just to make sure."
Aemond’s face broke into a wide grin at your words, and he shook his head, still amused. "Whenever you like," he promised softly, his voice full of warmth.
Aemond’s smile remained as you shared a quiet moment, a comfortable warmth settling between the two of you. His words, soft and full of promise, made your heart flutter a little, though you tried to ignore it. Just as you were about to speak, a strange sound filled the room.
You paused, frowning in confusion as the sound persisted. Aemond’s brow furrowed, and he gave you the same puzzled look. "What is that?" you asked, your voice low and uncertain.
Before Aemond could answer, the sound came again, louder this time—a soft, irregular rattling, like something gently tapping against metal. Both of you turned your heads toward the source of the noise, your eyes settling on the small brazier pot resting on the table beside your chaise.
The pot was trembling slightly, the lid shifting ever so subtly as if something within was stirring to life.
You exchanged a wary glance with Aemond, both of you too stunned to speak. Hope flickered in your chest, a fragile, cautious feeling that you tried desperately to suppress, even though it grew with each passing second. You didn’t want to feel it—not again. Not after so many failed attempts, so many disappointments.
But as the rattling continued, you couldn’t help but let that hope bloom, filling your chest with an almost painful intensity. You could feel Aemond's steady gaze on you, as if he too shared your mixture of anticipation and disbelief. His hand lightly touched your arm, offering silent reassurance as you both stood frozen in place.
Finally, the rattling grew louder, more insistent. Aemond moved first, stepping cautiously toward the brazier pot, his movements careful, as if approaching something fragile and dangerous all at once.
Your heart pounded in your ears as Aemond gently reached out and lifted the lid.
For a moment, there was nothing but silence. You held your breath, waiting, expecting the worst, but then—
A small, sharp crack echoed through the air, and your breath hitched in your throat. Aemond’s eye widened in astonishment as he stepped back slightly, motioning for you to come closer.
With shaky steps, you moved forward, peering into the brazier pot. Inside, nestled among the glowing embers, was the dragon egg—your dragon egg. And it was moving.
Tiny cracks began to spread across the surface, like delicate lines etched into stone. A tiny chirp escaped from within, soft yet insistent, and your heart leapt in your chest.
Aemond’s voice was barely a whisper, full of wonder. "It’s hatching."
You didn’t dare speak, afraid that if you did, the fragile moment would shatter. Instead, you watched in awe as the cracks grew wider, the shell breaking apart bit by bit.
Slowly, a tiny snout poked through the shell, followed by a pair of gleaming, sapphire-blue eyes that blinked up at you curiously.
Aemond’s hand slipped into yours, giving it a gentle squeeze, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, you allowed yourself to smile.
"It’s really happening," you whispered, barely able to contain the joy welling up inside you.
Aemond stood beside you, his gaze never leaving the hatchling, and he nodded, his voice low but filled with a kind of quiet awe. "Yes, it is."
The tiny dragon stretched its delicate wings, the membrane translucent in the firelight, revealing the rich, dark blue that shimmered against the glow. It was so small, fragile even, yet there was a certain strength in its movements, as though it knew its place in the world. Its scales appeared nearly black in the dim light, but with each flicker of the brazier’s flame, a glint of deep sapphire blue reflected back at you, shimmering like the ocean at night.
You couldn't hold back the soft laugh that bubbled from your lips, a sound of pure, unrestrained joy. Your laughter caught the attention of the little dragon, whose head turned sharply towards you. It blinked, tilting its head, studying you with wide, curious eyes before letting out a sharp screech in response. The sound, though high-pitched, was surprisingly strong for such a tiny creature.
Tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill over, as you knelt closer, your hand trembling slightly as you reached out, but you stopped just short of touching it. It felt too precious, too delicate to handle without care.
"Hello," you murmured, your voice soft and gentle, as though speaking to an infant. "Aren't you absolutely beautiful."
The little dragon blinked again, watching you intently. Its tiny nostrils flared as it took in the scent of the air, its wings fluttering slightly as it made a sound that almost resembled a purr. You couldn't help but smile wider, your heart swelling with affection.
Aemond crouched down beside you, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder as he watched the dragon with a look of pride and admiration. "You were meant for each other," he said, his voice filled with certainty.
You looked up at him, tears still brimming in your eyes, and nodded. "I think so," you whispered.
For a long moment, the two of you sat there in quiet awe, watching as the dragon stretched its limbs, adjusting to the world it had just entered. It was strange how something so small could carry such weight, as if this tiny creature already held within it the potential for something great, something magnificent.
As the little dragon shifted closer to you, its warmth radiated through the air, and you felt a bond forming, something deeper than words could express. This was more than just a pet, more than a companion. This was a piece of your soul, reflected in scales and wings, fire and strength.
Aemond’s smile softened as he watched you with the newborn dragon, his gaze flicking between the two of you with a quiet fondness. "What will you name it?" he asked, his voice barely above a murmur, as though speaking too loudly might shatter the moment.
You beamed at the little creature before you, a warmth blooming in your chest as you finally dared to reach out. Gently, you brushed your knuckle against her soft, dark scales. She—yes, she was definitely a girl, you were certain of it—immediately leaned into your touch, her tiny body pressing closer, as if seeking comfort from your warmth.
"Treasure," you whispered, the name slipping from your lips without hesitation. A wide, contented smile grew on your face. "Her name is Treasure."
Aemond blinked, momentarily taken aback by the unexpected name, but then a grin spread across his face, lighting up his features. Of course, you would name your dragon something soft, something sweet and endearing. It was just like you to choose a name that carried such a feeling of warmth, rather than something fierce and grand.
He chuckled softly, shaking his head in amusement. "Treasure?" he repeated, his eye twinkling with affection as he looked at you.
You looked up at him, still stroking the dragon’s scales, and nodded firmly. "Yes. Because she’s my treasure," you said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Aemond’s grin only widened as he crouched down beside you again, watching as Treasure nestled closer to your hand, clearly content with the name and her newfound bond with you. "A fitting name," he said quietly, and in that moment, as he watched you and your dragon together, he could see how the two of you were meant for each other.
Treasure let out a soft, sleepy sound, curling closer to the warmth of your hand, and you couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of peace. The bond between you and your dragon was only beginning, but it was already something special—something that would only grow stronger with time.
this is anything but the end
guyssss help, im literally crying thinking about young rhaenyra (milly) and reader as a baby. how reader probably became rhaenyra's new best friend and was the only thing keeping her going in court. And how rhaenyra would talk to her as a full-grown person, while reader, being a baby, would just babble back. And how rhaenyra would probably walk around taking her baby everywhere and riding on Syrax with her. BYE lol that just makes it all sadder
(side note in my head ive decided to give reader/y/n the most basic hotd name and name her aemma. because when she has her own daughter with aemond, she'll name her laenora after her father)
Treasure The dragon
I can just imagine reader doing that Sweeney Todd trend with Treasure:
ohh mr.todd 💋 i'm so happy 💋 I could - 💋 eat you up I really could. you know what I like to do mr. todd 💋 what I dream 💋
Ser Rowan
(it's rick grimes because I say so) (note I've only watched two episodes of the walking dead)
Reader's Mind in a nutshell
(I feel if I made this into a full time fic, reader could lowkey have saved the family and avoided the dance of the dragons entirely)
Hope you enjoyed!
Names that are in bold are ones that couldn't be added :(
@evernores @jouryuu @dbd-mommy @g-cf2020 @sl-ut @radiantdanvers @sillysillygyalsmh @callsignwidow @missyviolet123 @thelastemzy @lechat-rouge @sonichkkaaascreams @djarinsstuff @yovrnewromantic @waiting-fortheupdate @strawberymilktea @ninihrtss @kenqki @winter-solstice24 @darlingcharling-blog @feyresqueen @momoewn @literishdegree99 @xxxkat3xxx @6000-fandoms
#aemond targaryen x reader#house of the dragon#aemond targaryen#aemond x reader#hotd aemond#hotd fanfic#hotd#aemond one eye#aemond x you#hotd x reader
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I think alot more people would enjoy the show if they learned to see Rhaenyra and Alicent as Unreliable Narrators, and characters who are supposed to have glaring flaws and weaknesses.
Mandatory preface- There are Issues™️ with season 2 that are its own other ask- but the complaints ive seen about character assassination on both women kind of tells me ppl just wanted to see the two just GirlBossing around, not being tragic characters trapped in their own circumstances.
For Alicent specifically- she just isn't written to be Cersei 2.0, and while it was really interesting to see motherhood from cersei's point of view, its already been done!! I actually prefer seeing Alicent's mercurial clinging to and abandoning motherhood- its interesting!! She was made a mother at what- 15? An age where you truly arent mentally developed enough to raise 3 kids, AND be a child bride, AND be a queen, (AND be a lesbian).
Alicent is interesting to me because she's stunted at 15 years old, she's an adult woman who talks to and sometimes bullies her kids as if they are her peers, and is obsessed with her childhood crush(es). She hasn't built any new relationships* past the ones she was entangled with as a teenager, she's obsessed with both acting out to make SOMEONE see that shes suffering, (she's honestly pretty blatant for someone who prides themselves on being the Temperate Voice of Reason) but also to erase herself and reset to before she had to marry the king, before aemma died.
I think most of her 'bad out of character' decisions are just these two impulses winning out, her trying to force a reset, go back to a time where none of this had happened yet, when things were simpler and she had love and every day wasn't the worst day of her life™️.
She sleeps with cole, the man she thought was pretty at 15 (her last uncomplicated attraction just before it all went wrong and aemma died) -she doesnt seem to like it that much, but she does seem compelled to seek him out, esp when upset- shes obsessed with, and desperate to reconnect with Rhaenyra, her childhood best friend (and first love) and get back to where they were as kids, AND she still treats and asks her father for absolution as if he's still the only authority that matters to her just like she did at 15. Alot of her 'victim complex/bewildered they took it so far' behaviour in the plotting of rhaenyra's usurption reads to me like a teenager in over her head, she talked big game and now its real and shes panicking!! She's tragic BECAUSE she's still a teenager- so stunted shes unable to meaningfully grow up and learn to make healthier choices for herself, or move on and stop trying to grasp at the 'if i could just go back' urge.
As a mother, I think this creates an interesting dynamic as well, and I do like that in the casting even, she seems closer in age to her kids than rhaenyra does to hers. I think the contrast ppl are drawing with Alicent Protecting Her Kids in season1 compared to her giving them up in season two isn't bad writing to me, just massive differences in context. Sure she protected Aemond in driftmark, but we cant ignore that she probably felt humiliated by her husband choosing rhaenyra's side over hers in front of everyone, did it seem like a grown woman fighting for her son?? or a teenager furious with her ex winning one over her again? or both!! both sides twisted together is still interesting! When she protected Aegon from Rhaenys, is stepping in front of her son the king to protect him from the enemies dragon fire not the most romantic daydream of a deserving death a child bride could come up with?? Was it the impulse to protect the son she couldnt decide if she loved or hated, or was it to have the most heroic death possible to escape the reality that she sees coming. And if Rhaenyra hears about how Brave she was in the face of a dragons maw, and cries about it forever and feels sooo bad and regrets it til the day she dies, thats an added bonus. I think Alicent loves her kids, but is teenager selfish about HOW she loves and protects her kids, and is unable to be a mature, consistant, protective mother to them when she also sees them as having ruined her life. I think in season 2 when she 'gives them up' shes relieved, and once again following the compulsion of 'if i reset to when Rhaenyra was heir, i had no sons, and i wasn't married or queen, everything will be better'. I think theres complexity to it, i think she does love her sons and feels insane about it, but I think Alicent has been trying to Go Back in more and more Intense ways ever since she got married, and we might be giving her sanity more credit than it deserves when it comes to the need to wipe the board clean and go back to being 15.
hey anon are you trying to get married to me or what
#answered#anonymous#house of the dragon#hotd#rhaenicent#alicent hightower#EXCELLENT EXCELLENT EXCELLENT#every time we remember that alicent is a stunted teenager who married a man twice her age another angel gets its wings#even rhaenyra is nowhere NEAR as stunted as alicent who was popping babies at 15#her relationship switches from protecting mother to a sneering older sister to HER OWN KIDS#because shes emotionally stuck at the age her life went to complete hell#thanks again otto for the lifelong trauma
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I Don't Need To Know
Summary: Spencer Reid has no choice but to watch the love of his life fall in love with another man.
CONTENT WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI!! This fic is intended for adult audiences. Major character death. HEAVY angst. Bittersweet ending? Graphic depictions of violence (for maybe two lines). Fingering (f receiving). P in v sex/unprotected sex (in terms of a condom, birth control is mentioned). Loss of virginity (both m and f). Creampie (god I hate that word ugh!!). Slight age gap (roughly five years). Argument scene that may be triggering for readers that have experienced SA or manipulation from a partner (nothing of that nature actually happens, but just in case).
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
A/N: This is inspired by Will He by Joji, so I highly recommend listening to it while reading. I cried several times while writing this, but I felt it needed to be done so here it is. :’) Please tell me what you think! If you enjoy it, please like, reblog, and share it with your friends! <3 Thank you and I love you all :) (I also ask that my work not be uploaded to other platforms or translated without my explicit permission. Thank you!)
I got knots all up in my chest… Just know, I’m trying my best…
Spencer had always found the saying “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be” absurd. He couldn’t fathom willingly letting go of something he loved on the off chance that it would come back to him. Not after having everything he’d ever loved ripped from his clutches throughout his lifetime. To him, love wasn’t about releasing someone to see if they’d return. It was about holding on as though his very survival depended on it—like a feral cat finally finding food after days of hunger, sinking its teeth in and never letting go, no matter the cost.
It wasn’t until today that Spencer finally understood the meaning of that stupid phrase. And he wished with every intricate thread of his being that he didn’t.
Five years. Five long, agonizing years had passed. So why was he here now? Why, after what felt like an eternity of pleading for just one more moment with her, did the universe decide now was the time to give him what he wanted?
Ironically, the timing only drove home another phrase he’d always hated: “Be careful what you wish for.”
There she was, as beautiful as the day he’d met her, sitting in the corner of what had once been their favorite café. The sunlight streaming through the windows catches on her ring, the enticing glinting of the jewelry drawing his eyes away from her face momentarily. His heart is in his throat. She’s still wearing the wedding ring he’d given her, twisting it in the same nervous fashion she always used to.
And there across from her is a man that isn’t him making her smile.
‘Cause when you look… When you laugh… When you smile… I’ll bring you back…
Spencer Reid had never been a particularly angry man. He had his moments—who didn’t?—but he usually considered himself level-headed, patient. But now, watching Y/N hide a bashful smile behind the rim of her mug as she gazed at the man across from her, all Spencer could feel was rage. Raw, unbridled rage. It flared up inside him as her head tipped back, the sound of her laughter crashing over him like a tidal wave, stirring his veins with a violent rush. The same sound he’d yearned to hear again for five fucking years. And it was all because of him—Ben.
That was his girl. His perfect, beautiful girl. The love of his life. His angel.
All Spencer could do was stand there, feeling every broken shard of his non-existent heart pierce his chest.
And now I’m sad… And I’m a mess… And now we high… That’s why I left… That’s why I left…
It wasn’t meant to be like this. Spencer had never wanted to leave her. But that choice wasn’t his to make.
That cold, cruel September night six years ago had robbed Spencer of his very existence.
Everything that could have gone wrong during that case did. The bullet wasn’t meant for him, but he took it anyway. He had traded his life in exchange for JJ’s. It wasn’t even meant to be heroic. It wasn’t done out of love. It was just instinct. It’s who he was as a person.
Was.
The word leaves a bitter taste in the back of his throat. Because that’s his reality now. He was a person; an agent, a professor, a son, a husband…
Now he’s… well, that he didn’t quite understand. As a man of science, Spencer was stumped by what he could even call his existence now. Calling himself a ghost felt silly—he felt as alive as the day he’d died. And yet, that was essentially what he was. A whisper of the person he’d once been. A soul caught between worlds.
Spencer could still feel the exact moment his soul wrenched free from its physical tether to the world. Even recalling it sent a shiver down his spine. It hadn’t been peaceful, as so many people claimed in interviews. No… it had been agony in its purest form; white hot and searing as his very essence clawed its way out from his ribs. There was no light waiting for him to step into it and find peace.
Instead, he had watched helplessly as the team he called his family swarmed his dead body, uselessly screaming for a medic as the crimson puddle underneath him grew and smeared beneath their hands as they knelt beside him. He had watched Y/N swing open their door that fateful night, the excited grin on her face vanishing as she came face to face with a tearful Emily instead of the husband she’d been eagerly waiting for. And he had watched the guilt eat away at JJ as their eyes met at his funeral, the hatred on Y/N’s face so raw it made Spencer’s own stomach twist.
Despite the Bureau's insistence, she took charge of every detail—planning his funeral in a way that honored everything Spencer would have wanted. Y/N held Diana as she wept over her baby boy's body. She delivered a eulogy that left even Spencer in shambles. She was the first person to arrive and the last to leave, waiting until everyone had left to sink to her knees beside his casket and howl her grievances.
For that first year, Y/N was as strong as she could be during the day. She handled everything that needed to be done, as long as the sun was still up. But when night fell, and the suffocating silence of their empty home settled in… that’s when she’d finally let herself break.
Spencer had never been a religious man, but the year after his death felt like an endless descent into his own personal hell. He would never escape the sound of those gut-wrenching screams. He cursed whatever force had condemned him to an eternity where he could do nothing but watch, powerless as Y/N crumpled to the floor night after night, her wails so desperate it seemed as though she thought breaking the sound barrier might somehow bring him back to life.
All he could do was stay beside her, silently pleading for his touch to somehow reach her, his hands brushing over her again and again, unnoticed and unfelt.
Time was no longer a concept to Spencer.
The limits of his existence perplexed him. He couldn’t roam freely, couldn’t go where he pleased—he could only follow where Y/N went. It was as if his very soul was bound to hers, linked by some invisible string that kept him tied to her even in death. It brought him both joy and sorrow: joy in the fact that he could still watch her, still admire the way she carried on, and sorrow because she would never know he was there, silently urging her forward, so incredibly proud of her strength.
The longer he lingered, the more control he gained over his abilities. It started with the smallest things—a strand of hair lifting with the brush of his fingers, a faint chill against her skin as he cradled her face while she slept. But soon, it became more. Doors creaked open as he stepped into rooms behind her, and objects shifted ever so slightly from their places when he pushed with just enough force.
There were times when she seemed to sense him—moments Spencer cherished more than anything. In those fleeting instances, it felt as though she could see him, even though he knew she couldn’t. Every day, rain or shine, she visited his grave, and when she spoke to him, her gaze would drift forward, as if she were looking into the honey-colored eyes she once loved. Her hands would rest open in her lap, as though she knew he was holding them. When she was home, she’d speak aloud every thought that came to mind, as though she knew he could hear every word that fell from her perfect lips. And he always responded as if she could hear him in return. That was their new life for the first year after his death.
After a year and one day, he was gone.
That’s where his understanding of the phrase “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be” came from. It was because she had set him free.
One whole year had passed. The hardest year of Y/N’s life. She had knelt by his grave, laying fresh flowers with trembling hands, her tears falling freely for hours. When she finally stood to leave, her legs unsteady beneath her, she pressed a soft kiss to his headstone. Through her tears, she whispered how much she missed him, how he never left her thoughts, and how she’d never stop loving him—but above all, she wished he could be at peace. And on the night following the anniversary of his passing, her wish was granted. He had faded into nothingness, existing only in her dreams and memories for five long years.
But now, he was back. Because he had always been hers.
Will your tongue still remember the taste of my lips? Will your shadow remember the swing of my hips?
Spencer remembered their first time like it was yesterday, though he wasn’t sure if he could thank his eidetic memory or the fact that it was because of how remarkable it had been for the memory lingering so vividly...
“You’re lying! You’ve really never had sex before?”
Y/N squawked the words incredulously as she sat atop Spencer’s lap, grinning down at the stammering mess of a man beneath her. Spencer’s hands flexed against her hips, unintentionally squeezing as he took a deep breath to calm himself.
They were inside Spencer’s apartment, having enjoyed the museum and dinner but still craving each other’s company too badly to end the night there. What started as sweet, innocent pecks pressed up against the kitchen counter had quickly devolved into ravenous, passionate kisses that had them stumbling towards the couch. It was going so well… until Spencer panicked after Y/N had whispered into his ear asking how far he wanted things to go.
That resulted in him spewing out the fact that he, at twenty-six years old, was a virgin.
“No, I haven’t! Why is that so hard to believe?” Spencer huffs, his small smile belying his annoyed tone.
It was their sixth date total in a span of four months, but it was their first date as an actual couple. Spencer had reluctantly agreed to let Penelope set him up on a blind date after his failed attempt at taking JJ out had shattered any of the confidence he’d built up, leaving the man petrified of taking his chances romantically again. He suspected Penelope’s pity for him was why she was setting up said date to begin with, but he quickly found himself grateful that he went.
Y/N had been friends with Penelope for years, having bonded online over some indie punk rock band that was no longer around and developing a close friendship from there despite their age difference. When Penelope found out Y/N had moved to Virginia and was single, she couldn’t resist setting the two up.
It’s Y/N’s turn to stammer as she quickly thinks of a response. “I, uh… you’re just so handsome that I naturally assumed you’d had sex before.”
Spencer blinks up at her skeptically, trying to detect even the faintest clue that the otherworldly woman in his lap was lying to him. All he found was nervous adoration as she stared back down at him, her cheeks flushed a beautiful shade of pink. It suited her. He wanted to cause it more often.
“I had, um… I graduated super early from both high school and college, so I didn’t do much dating.”
Instead of the judgment Spencer expected to see spread across her face, Y/N simply just hummed in understanding, her eyes curious as they watched him. He’d elaborate more on his unfortunate (for lack of a better term) adolescence later. For now, he just wanted to keep from scaring the poor girl off of his lap so he could taste her sweet chapstick again.
“I see…” Y/N murmurs before continuing, shifting forward slightly with a smirk. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’m also a virgin.”
Spencer’s eyes widened almost comically as he gawked up at her. His heart stutters in his chest, his mouth going dry. His tongue pokes out in a meek attempt at wetting his lips, his voice cracking as he responds.
“Et tu, Y/N?”
Oh fuck. Spencer hadn’t meant to let the lame reference slip from his mouth. She just made him so nervous that he couldn’t think straight, and Rome had been heavily on his mind since she had perched herself in his lap. Specifically Roman goddesses, because she looked like she should be amongst them on their thrones. Surely she was going to leave now—-
Loud, genuine laughter bubbles from Y/N’s lips, the noise startling Spencer as she tips her head back and her hands grip his shoulders to stabilize herself. She thought it was funny. She thought he was funny.
“That’s, like, the last thing I expected you to say,” Y/N managed once her laughter had simmered down into giggles. “But, to answer your question… I too have really never had sex before.”
Spencer knew that it wasn’t due to a lack of suitors. The woman was sex personified; the archetype of beauty and seduction wrapped into one perfect being. The twitching in his pants brought his attention back to the situation at hand. He could ask her later why that was. For now, he brought his focus back to her.
In an uncharacteristically bold move, Spencer tilted his head up to brush their noses together. “Would you… would you want to?”
It didn’t take a profiler to notice the hitch in her breath or the almost imperceptible squeezing of her thighs around his hips. Her pupils were already blown, her lower lip trembling from what Spencer prayed was anticipation and not regret as his question settled over her. The silence stretched between them, the seconds feeling like hours in Spencer’s overly anxious mind.
He’d done it now. He’d gone off and opened his stupid mouth and frightened the one woman he could actually see himself having a future with because the head straining against his zipper overruled the head housing his supposed genius level IQ. The apologies were already forming in the back of his throat, but they weren’t needed because she— she was kissing him?
“God, yes. Please,” Y/N murmured eagerly against his lips, effectively clearing every cohesive thought from his brain.
If Spencer thought her words were enough to bring upon his undoing, he was sorely mistaken. The grinding of her hips against his erection ignited something inside of him that he had no idea existed. It was feral, drowning out all of his other emotions and replacing them with one thing: primal, unfiltered desire.
Spencer understood now why men used to start wars over women.
With each gasp that fell upon his ears, Spencer pledged his allegiance to her. Every stuttered moan that came into existence from his hips rutting up into her clothed core fueled his devotion to her. It was animalistic, the way his hands gripped her ass and pulled her tighter against his body as his mouth devoured her now, every cell swimming through his veins screaming for more. More of her touch, more of her taste, more of her sounds... God, those heavenly sounds that had Spencer finally believing in salvation, if only in the form of her skin against his.
Tongues danced together as layers were hastily stripped away. Layers of insecurity. Layers of self-doubt. Layers of uncertainty. Their clothes fell to the ground as though the fabric burned them, clumsy hands fidgeting with buttons and tugging at zippers with a vendetta.
Those layers that had crumbled so easily were replaced instead with the firm knowledge that this was exactly where they were meant to be: in each other’s arms, trembling and panting as their world’s trajectory tilted so violently it uprooted them from their upright position, knocking them down against the leather cushions as their bodies attempted to mend their separated souls back into one.
Spencer choked on the words he wanted to worship her with, so instead he used the most primitive sense he could to get his message across: touch. His lips sucked purpling reminders into the crook of her neck of what they both knew to be true now: He is hers just as much as she is his. Lithe fingers tugged the soaked fabric of her lace panties down until they landed in a heap with their other clothes. Those same fingers pause at the crest of her most intimate spot, his eyes meeting hers with a silent plea.
Y/N found herself in the same position, her words failing her as they were strangled in her throat by the overwhelming adoration she felt for the man hovering above her. Instead of chanting her desire for Spencer to please touch her, she canted her hips up in approval.
Her moans were swallowed by swollen lips that claimed the sound straight from her body as nimble fingers dug themselves into the deepest parts of her. Their rhythm was clumsy but steadfast, her hips bucking against his hand in jerky movements as the palm of his hand pressed against her clit. Spencer’s own hips ground against the bare skin of her thigh, shielded only by the immature fabric of his equation-covered boxers.
Spencer hadn’t for a second thought the night was going to go like this. If he had known he’d have the definition of art itself clawing at his shoulders and panting into his mouth while he made her legs tremble beneath him, he wouldn’t have worn what he deemed his lucky boxers. At least they had done their job, he supposed.
Their lips separated completely as a guttural moan wrenched its way from Y/N’s throat, her body beginning to thrash wildly underneath him as the tension in her lower belly coiled tighter. Spencer wouldn’t allow her first time to happen on his couch. She was much too precious for that. But he’d already made the decision to unravel her at least once while they were there, to bring her over the edge before taking her into his bedroom so that he could experience the glorious sight of her falling apart more than once tonight.
Spencer was a virgin, not a prude. He’d seen porn before. He’d read erotic novels. Anything he could use to try to prepare himself for the real experience, he did. But nothing could have prepared him for the downright visceral reaction Y/N had as his fingers curled and brushed against the rough patch of skin inside of her that caused the tension building in her body to snap. Her cries of pleasure tore through him as her pussy clenched around his fingers, his free hand leaving its place beside her head to keep her thighs pried open. He quickly shifted up onto his knees to watch her taking his fingers as she came, taking the pleasure he inflicted upon her.
He sang her praises while slowing his pace, cooing softly at her as he stroked her hair and worked her through the aftershocks of her orgasm. Only when she was squirming and whining beneath him did he finally remove his fingers, sucking them into his mouth greedily. Y/N’s mouth gaped open as her chest heaved, her eyes locked on Spencer as his tongue lapped over his fingers, enjoying her essence with a groan. Her body sagged into the couch, a delighted laugh spilling from her exhausted frame as she smiled up at him, her eyes twinkling in the dim light of his living room.
“Do you still want to keep going?” Spencer breathed as he gazed down at her, his cheeks flushed and eyes full of something that made Y/N's heart flutter. “B-because we can stop there if you want. I just… I want to do what makes you happy.”
Above her was the man she’d recognized, soft and timid, but now with a newfound air of confidence in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. Above her was the man that she wanted more than anything. Above her was the man that she knew, without a shadow of doubt, would be her husband.
“Spencer… if you don’t fuck me right now, then I’ll die a virgin, right here on your couch... and it will be all your fault.”
Spencer’s hearty chuckles filled the room, his nose twitching as he grinned down at the dramatic woman. He simply couldn’t let that be her fate, could he?
Shaking his head, he stooped down to press a gentle kiss to her nose before standing from the couch, offering her his (clean) hand. Y/N’s face twisted in confusion as she stared up at him, still reeling from the earth-shattering orgasm surprisingly given to her by the same man who’d eagerly rambled about the lore behind Doctor Who on their first date when she’d mentioned she hadn’t seen it.
“Not here, silly girl. The bedroom,” He whispered.
He guided her down the dark hallway as though he were escorting the most priceless treasure known to man to his bed, and in his eyes, he was. His hand stayed steady on her hip as she swayed lightly, her body pressed into his side as he opened the door with shaky hands. Any confidence Spencer had managed to muster throughout the night vanished as they crossed the threshold into his bedroom, his teeth gnawing at his lower lip gently as his courage began to crack.
In an almost startling display of being seen, something Spencer had never experienced before, Y/N looped her arms around his neck and tugged him into a kiss that simultaneously stole the breath from his lungs and filled him with the air he needed to breathe again, effectively calming his nerves.
“It’s okay,” She reassured him against his lips. “It’s just me.”
She walked them backward until the backs of her knees pressed into his cool comforter, taking over where Spencer so willingly handed her the reigns while he regained his momentum. She sat on the edge of his bed, her hands pressed into his hips to keep him from following after her. Her eyes met his, the moonlight streaming through his bedroom window illuminating her as though she were a vision, a figment of his imagination that he’d conjured up in the dead of night, ready to haunt his every waking moment once he inevitably woke up to an empty bed. She was too good to be true.
Spencer’s hands fell to rest on her shoulders, just to give himself proof that Y/N was real and that he hadn’t dreamed her up or somehow followed in his mother’s footsteps and succumbed to early onset schizophrenia.
She was real and she was here, eye level with the tent in his boxers and naked as the day she was born, her warm breath fanning across the smattering of hair trailing down from his belly button to below his underwear. His muscles tensed and twitched as she smirked up at him, pressing a tender kiss to the head of his cock through the thin fabric. His entire body flinched from that one touch, his brows furrowing together as he hissed quietly.
“N-not that I wouldn’t love to feel your mouth on me—“ Spencer’s pitch raised as her hands found the elastic of his waistband, pulling his boxers down his legs. “But I… I won’t last if you do.”
The fondness in her eyes quelled any humiliation he felt from having uttered those words.
Placing a kiss to his hip, she nodded in understanding before shuffling backwards to lay in the middle of his bed, with him kneeling onto the mattress after her. The sight of her— stretched out and languid and looking at him as if she wanted to ravage him— had him sending up a silent ‘thank you’ to whatever in the universe had deemed him worthy enough of having this divine of a woman in his life.
As Spencer reaches for his nightstand to grab a condom, Y/N stammers, grabbing his attention. He watches for a moment as she flounders over her words, his brow furrowing in concern at her sudden diffidence.
“Are you sure you still want to do this?”
“I’m on birth control if you want to skip the condom!”
Spencer inhales sharply at the same time she smiles sheepishly up at him, her blurted words almost making him finish before they’d even started. He holds her gaze, tracing her irises for any hint of hesitancy. When he finds none, he nods once, swallowing hard.
“I— uh. Um...”
It was rare that Spencer Reid was rendered speechless, but Y/N had managed to do it with just eleven words. He clears his throat, trying again.
“Yes. Yes, I would like to skip the condom. Only if you’re absolutely sure that’s what you want.”
“Yes. It is. I pinky promise.”
Y/N holds up her pinky for him, the sight so endearing he can practically feel his heart melt away, dripping in a sticky mess inside him. He just grins, linking his pinky with hers before he moves to settle over her once more.
Her fingers tangle themselves in his hair as his elbows dig into the mattress beside her ribs. The flushed head of his cock bumps against her clit as he reaches down to line himself up at her entrance, a small whine leaving her lips at the sensation. He repeats the action, dizzy from the sound of her soft noises. She was still soaked from their time on the couch, a small feeling of pride welling in Spencer’s chest at the knowledge that not only did he make her cum, but he’d kept her wet while they made it here.
His lips meet hers in a searing kiss, the both of them quivering with anticipation at giving themselves so intimately to someone for the first time. He was happy it was her. And she was happy it was him.
Spencer couldn’t remember a time where his mind had ever been quiet. All he knew was incessant thoughts and worries, unable to put a halt to the chaos jumbling around his brain. But as he pressed forward and sunk into Y/N for the first time, his entire mind went blank. White static crowded the spaces where various facts and tidbits of information had been stored, the only thing he was able to focus on now being the sheer ecstasy coursing through his body from being inside of her.
His mouth hung open as his eyes rolled back into his head, his hips stilling as they pressed flush against hers. She mirrored his response, squeaking out an “oh!” as her walls fluttered around the intrusion instinctively. He throbbed in response, his head dropping to rest in the crook of her neck, unable to stop the pitiful whimper that escaped from behind clenched teeth.
She was so tight. So wet. So warm.
Sparks of pleasure zinged up and down his spine as he remained still, waiting patiently for Y/N to adjust to both his size and to the feeling of being filled for the first time in general. He’d wait as long as she needed him to. All he wanted was for her to feel good. To enjoy this as much as he was.
He was a humble man, truly. But even he wasn’t too shy to admit he’d been gifted with a size that was bigger than average. Not necessarily just in length, falling just shy of seven inches, but in girth as well.
Spencer peppered soft kisses up and down her flushed skin, feeling her rapid pulse beneath his lips. He was sure she could feel his own heartbeat pounding against his ribs from where their bare chests were pressed together. Her nipples were taut, pressing into his skin enticingly. He wanted to touch them. Taste them. But he’d wait until she was ready. He didn’t want to overwhelm her.
At her gentle nod, Spencer lifted his head to press his forehead against hers, their lips brushing together as he pulls his hips back. The sensation of her grip tightening in his hair as he pushed forward does more to him than he’d care to admit, but he still lets her hear just how affected he is by her. With a shaky moan, Spencer repeats the motion, easing out of her before gently rocking back into her. He keeps this up for a few minutes, her sharp breaths dissolving into muted moans of her own.
“You can— you can move faster if y-you want.”
Spencer’s eyes flutter shut at her words, and he’s pressing a fervent kiss to her lips before he begins to really move. The sound of skin smacking together begins to fill the air as he ruts his hips into hers, his walls bearing witness to every pleasured noise that spills between them. His pace is frenzied, his rhythm stuttered, but it feels so good that neither of them really care.
Y/N’s nails roamed his body now, alternating between dragging harsh lines into the planes of his back and burying into his shoulders to leave little tender half moons in their wake. Spencer yearned to pull every single noise that he could from her throat, planting his hands beside her head and hefting himself up for better leverage before his lips wrapped around her right nipple. He sucks harshly at the pert bud, reveling in the desperate whimper it causes.
Spencer grunts when she clenches around him, letting his mouth glide over to her neglected breast, his hips hammering into hers now as she cries out his name over and over. He was close… so, so close. But he needed to make her cum one more time before he’d allow himself to. He needed to know what it felt like for her to fall apart around his cock. With every ounce of willpower he had, Spencer slows his hips to a stop inside of her.
Y/N whined her discontent at his sudden pause, her eyes opening to blink hazily up at him. “Why’d you… why’d you stop?” She panted, her fingers finding and twisting her own nipples as if she couldn’t help but to touch herself.
Spencer muffled a curse at the sight, sitting back on his haunches as he stared down at the woman beneath him with reverence.
“Flip onto your stomach for me, angel.”
She does as instructed, wiggling her hips coyly as Spencer grabs a pillow from the head of the bed and stuffs it underneath her hips to prop her up better, ensuring she’d be comfortable. Once she’s settled on her front, Spencer wasted no time in pressing himself back into her, both of them releasing a moan so loud he’s surprised the walls don’t shake. Thank God he didn’t have neighbors right now.
He eased himself down so his chest is pressed to her back, lavishing her neck and shoulder in open mouthed kisses while his hips drilled into her. This angle was deeper, allowing him to plow directly into her g-spot as she writhed and begged incoherently beneath him. He laced his left hand with hers, shoving them into his mattress. His other hand stuffed itself between the pillow and her wriggling body until the pads of his fingers found her clit, his breath coming out in sharp pants into her ear.
Y/N felt delirious with pleasure, bucking her hips back in a feeble attempt to meet his. He began whispering into her ear about how good she felt around him, thanking her for allowing him to fuck her, praising her for taking him so well…
His words paired with his fingers circling her clit have her second orgasm ripping through her body with so much ferocity that tears begin to fall down her cheeks, her eyes squeezing shut and her hand clutching his so tightly her knuckles whitened as she wailed into a pillow, gushing around him.
Spencer let out his own guttural moan at the feeling, spilling into her with a shout as he planted his head between her shoulder blades, his hips weakly thrusting into her as they rode out their climaxes.
He held her until her tremors stopped. He kissed her forehead before he darted off to the bathroom to get a warm rag to clean her with. He thanked her in soft whispers as her eyes began to drift shut before he’d even finished cleaning his mess between her thighs.
And he knew, watching the gorgeous woman before him sleep so soundly in his bed after they’d just defiled each other’s innocence, that he was looking at his future wife.
Will your lover caress you the way that I did? Will you notice my charm if he slips up one bit?
The air was thick with tension as Y/N stared at Ben, her chest heaving and eyes watering at the hurt look on his face. Spencer watched from the corner, his concern for his wife outweighing the jealousy he had previously felt when he watched the couple slip into her— though he still selfishly thought of it as their— bed. Y/N had been dating Ben for three months now. That made for three months that Spencer ached so heavily he’d sometimes wish he could fade back into nothingness if it meant he didn’t have to watch the love of his life with another man.
The furthest Ben and Y/N had gone physically was a few pecks here and there, with Y/N always being the one to draw away and cut the kisses short. Ben had played the nice guy act, reassuring her that he understood her hesitance and that he’d be okay doing whatever she was comfortable with. Spencer despised him. He could see right through Ben’s facade, and if he could do more than nudge a door open, he’d make that hatred known. But he couldn’t.
Spencer watched on with furrowed brows as Y/N reached a shaky hand over and turned the lamp on her nightstand on, illuminating the dark room in a soft glow that contrasted with the dark energy that began to cloud the small space. Spencer could see it all on Ben’s face: hurt, betrayal, anger. He could see the fear, guilt, and shame on Y/N’s.
This was the first night Y/N had tried to push past her discomfort so that she could offer Ben more than just false promises of physical intimacy. It started slow, with soft kisses that dissolved into hungrier ones as they laid together in the dark. But the second Ben went to roll on top of her, sliding a hand down her body to pull her hips against his, she panicked. Her body jolted, and her hands had shot out instinctively to shove him off of her, leaving them where they were now in some sort of silent standoff.
Spencer knew as soon as it had happened just why it did. She had thought of him. His guilt overruled the smug pleasure he’d felt as he watched it unfold. As painful as it had been watching Y/N move on with her life, all he ultimately wanted was for her to be happy. Spencer had been barely thirty-five when he passed, and she had only been thirty. That left almost an entire lifetime ahead for her, and even though he so desperately wanted to have lived that lifetime with her, he had to accept that that wasn’t what fate had in store for them.
“I-I’m sorry-”
“What the fuck is your problem?”
Spencer’s jaw tightened at the same time Y/N’s dropped.
“Excuse me?” Y/N leveled Ben with a narrowed glare, rage flashing in her eyes in place of the shame that had just been there.
“I get that you have a dead husband. I’ve tried to be patient with you. But fuck! It's been six years, Y/N. It’s time for you to move on,” Ben seethes, his face reddening with a mixture of embarrassment and anger. “I can’t even touch you without you flinging me off of you!”
It’s as though Y/N is the exact physical embodiment of Spencer’s own emotions, physically reacting in the way that he can’t. She was out of the bed before Spencer could even blink, marching over to the bedroom door and yanking it open. Ben watches in bewilderment, his mind clearly not catching up with what was happening.
“Get out of my fucking house.”
Y/N’s voice is cold as she stares menacingly at Ben. When he doesn’t move, she speaks again, her voice louder. “Get out of my fucking house, Ben!”
Ben stammers, standing from the bed and attempting to plead his case. “Babe, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, I just-”
“I don’t care. Get out of my house,” Y/N repeats herself, cutting off his pathetic excuses.
Spencer smirks proudly from beside her.
That’s his girl.
Ben sighs, hanging his head and scrubbing his hands frustratedly across his face.
“If you kick me out over some guy that’s been dead for six years, then we’re over. For good.”
Spencer cackles at Ben’s proposition, though it can’t be heard by either party in the room. That was his attempt at fixing things? Seriously? Good riddance. He’d drag the guy out of there himself if he could.
“If I haven’t made myself clear, we’re already over. No one talks about my husband like that. Now get out before I call the police and have you escorted off of my property.”
It doesn’t take long after that for Ben to tuck his tail and leave, slamming the front door on his way out. Y/N’s steam runs out the second his car pulls out of her driveway, tears streaming down her face as she curls up on her couch.
Spencer’s own chest twinges uncomfortably as he sits beside her, stroking her hair despite her inability to actually receive the comfort. He didn’t know what hurt more; watching his beautiful, broken girl sob and not being able to stop her tears, or being the cause of the tears himself. He had to do something, anything to let her know he was still there and that he still loved her beyond death.
The same time Spencer stands is the same time Y/N’s tears pause, a hiccup rocking her frame before she glances up.
“Spence?” Y/N calls softly. Spencer’s heart would have stopped right there had he not already been dead.
Spencer turns slowly from his place at the end of the couch, his eyes wide and hopeful as he responds. “Yes, angel?”
His hope fades as he realizes she isn’t looking at him, rather her eyes are just darting around the room.
“Spencer I… I know it’s been awhile since I’ve talked to you. And for that, I’m so sorry,” Y/N starts, her voice cracking. “I don’t know if you can even hear me. Or if you ever could. But I miss you. I miss you in my bones. I just… you were— are my everything.”
The lump in her throat grows as the tears begin to stream down her face again. Spencer’s own eyes sting with tears that she’ll never see drip down his face. He swallows hard, making his way over to their— yes, their— bookshelf.
“I’d give anything to have you back in my arms… I should have begged you to leave the BAU and just teach full-time if it meant I could still have you here, safe and at home. It’s not even a home without you.”
Y/N sobs freely now, tucking her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them before she buries her head into them.
Every ounce of grief, guilt, sadness, and anger from what his death has done to his precious girl fuels Spencer to do something he deemed impossible: he yanks the leatherbound notebook holding their vows inside of it off of the bookshelf, sending it tumbling to the ground in a desperate attempt to show her that he’s still there and that he still loves her.
The noise causes a yelp to slip from Y/N’s lips, her head jerking up as the book hits the hardwood floor with a loud thump. It had fallen open exactly to where Spencer wanted it to: the page starting his vows to her.
Y/N crawled from the couch to the book, her trembling hands lifting the journal so that she can read the words her husband wrote to her ten years ago. With a deep exhale, she sits cross-legged on the hardwood floor, reading Spencer’s chicken scratch he called handwriting with a heavy heart. And for the first time since his casket closed, she feels a sense of peace wash over her. She was going to be okay, despite it all, because he was hers just as much as she was his.
Continued A/N: Ahh!! Ghost!Spencer my beloved. :') JUST TO CLARIFY: I am not a JJ hater!! It just fit better for the story to have her be the one this all happened for. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this fic just as much as I enjoyed writing it. I look forward to sharing more in the future with you as my blog grows <3
K <3
#spencer reid#spencer reid smut#criminal minds smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fanfiction#matthew gray gubler smut#mgg smut#virgin!Spencer reid#virgin!reader x virgin!Spencer reid
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YOUR YUJI FIC WAS SO YUMMY 😳 I would love a part 2 if you’re ever up for writing it! 🥹
GUESS WHO'S BACK FROM THE FUCKING DEAD. ME. ME. I AM BACK AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH (im sorry i just missed writing). well, anyways, with me comes the power of horny <3
ps: this took me fucking four days to write and i don't even think it's good 😭😭 writers block is a bitch
🧸learning some lessons ft. yuuji itadori!
continuation of my previous fic "teaching some lessons", so, i suggest read that first to ensure you're fully immersed into the horny storyline. set-up: yuuji itadori. the quarterback, the guy you're giving "sex ed" lessons, and ofcourse, the brother of your childhood best friend sukuna. what could ever go wrong with this combination? nothing, i hope? warnings: contains nsfw concepts such as yuuji's first time, overstimulation, penetration, a bit of porn logic. and as always, sukuna, nobara and megumi are fucking menaces. stay blessed y'all, and minors DO NOT INTERACT I WILL FIND YOU AND HUNT YOUR ASSES. [ALSO A LITTLE BIT OF TOJI AND GOJO SLANDER IM SORRY] wc: 6.4k porn with A LOT of plot [like 70% plot im sorry]
"dude." megumi's usual nonchalant demeanor had faded in a matter of seconds. now, each of his drawled out words had a certain twinge of dread, "this is actually fucking insane."
"hm?" the pink-haired quarterback didn't even bother to dignify his best friend's statement with a proper answer. he was too busy rapidly pressing the controls, trying to get the shots right.
but megumi's hand had gone slack, the controller barely held limply in his palm. he turned to stare down the forementioned pink-headed idiot. he repeated himself, "yuuji."
"gumi—" yuuji hissed back, "we're losing, fucking focus."
"you just told me that you're fucking sukuna's best friend. her." megumi deadpanned, "the only thing i need to focus on is arranging your funeral."
yuuji hissed through his teeth as his player got shot right in the head and a definitive 'GAME OVER' flashed all across the tv screen. he sunk backwards into the comfortable couch at the fushiguro household. megumi shifted backwards too, slumping next to his best friend with a resigned sigh.
the house was eerily quiet, save for the sounds of the background score of the game playing in the background. yuuji knew tsumiki was out shopping with her friends, and gojo was out annoying the hell out of someone or the other (possibly, coach nanamin). who else was to be considered in the fushiguro household? toji fushiguro? he was an enigma. he came when he felt like and left just as soon. a model poster boy for giving people daddy issues, yuuji presumed.
"have i told you your couch is super nice?" yuuji asked as he stared at the overhead lighting before sweeping his gaze over the modern living room.
"multiple times."
the quarterback snorted, "you remember the time i got drunk—"
"—and tried to take the couch home. yes, i do. i also remember the time sukuna chased you with a knife cause you took his last pack of cheetos. imagine what he would do when you take his best friend."
yuuji pouted, giving megumi a side-eye he couldn't miss, "you're no fun."
"be for fucking real." the raved head sat up, turning towards yuuji at lightning speed. his eyes squinted in scrutiny, "you're the one making idle chit-chat as if sukuna isn't gonna kill you the moment he finds out what you and her have been up to."
"yeah but—" yuuji sighed, rubbing his palms against his face slowly, "is it really that big of a deal? i mean, it's just a few lessons here and there. it's not like she likes me or something—"
"—yeah, she probably won't. ever. considering she called you her little brother."
"oh, fuck off, gumi. that was when we were five."
"just pointing down the obvious."
"i knew i should have told nobara about the situation. she would have given much better advice."
"kugisaki would have laughed at you so hard, she would have cried." megumi got up, probably to get some more chips. as he left, he quipped over his shoulder, "you're catching feelings for someone who doesn't have that kind of interest in you, itadori. you will end up looking like an idiot at the end. and possibly dead."
well, maybe megumi fushiguro had a point. but that point was so goddamn hard to see with your thighs pressed on either sides of his face.
🧸lesson 04: maybe making girls cry is okay sometimes
"mhm- ngh oh my god. yuu." yuuji placed his tongue flat against your pulsating clit. you bucked into his face, pressing his mouth messily to your hot core as you showered him in breathless praises.
nobody was home. kuna was probably gonna be home later at night and so, you both had decided his room as the venue for your next 'lesson'.
you weren't even sure which numbered orgasm it was at this point. and you weren't sure if you even existed anymore outside of yuuji and his face and his tongue and yuuji.
red, hot need ran it's course through your body as the jock manhandled you. his calloused palms pulled your jerking hips downwards to steady them and then, pulled you hastily towards himself. yur jaw fell open, going slack at the torturous stimulation yuuji had the audacity to hum in approval when you momentarily went slack under him.
"yuuji, yuuji. yuu. pl-please please- stop. st-" tears pricked at your eyes as you called out his name in a futile attempt to get him to stop. your hands bunched at his sweaty locks, pushing and pulling to get his wicked tongue on your sensitive cunt to ease up.
but the jock was unforgiving.
his tongue dipped within you, your muscles contracting and spasming against his pretty face as his nose dug deeper against your clit. his tongue was fast, delving in and out of you methodically as you bucked and keened under his touches. the salty tears fell down your cheeks.
"yuu—" you mumbled in a weak voice and he finally looked up so as to assess the damage.
"hm?" his mouth finally parted from yours, messy and sticky.
and when yuuji looked up at you, he was sure this is the last sight he would see before he was condemned to hell for the rest of eternity. your eyes were watery, lips swollen and quivering. you could barely keep your vision straight before you clenched your eyes shut and tried to pry him off of yourself.
so fucking pretty that it made him ache. and that only pushed him to kiss inner thigh and lick a soft stripe up your gushing cunt, getting back to what he was previously doing.
"fuck fuck fuc— yuu, no. no more. p-plea— fuck." you stomach was full of something hot and molten, something jittery and unstable. something that sounded and tasted a lot like yuuji itadori.
the quarterback stayed on his knees, bringing his forefinger and thumb to pinch and rub your wet clit as your thighs shook, your eyes rolled backwards and your back arched. he grinned — a feral sight — as you finally came undone on his tongue again.
he finally pulled himself upwards, using his discarded tshirt to clean off his face. as he stood before you, all he could do was watch you awestruck.
you were heavenly.
your spent figure was slumped on his bed; t-shirt pushed up to expose your bruised tits and your legs pressed together as you tried to come back on mother earth. your eyes were still closed, cheeks wet from tears and yuuji had to stop himself from begging you to let him fuck you tonight.
but he abstained. of course not. that was insane. you would never let him go that far, would you? so, instead he chose to lie down next to you and pull you into his chest.
you nudged your cheek against his pecs, finding refuge in his warmth and he gladly let you, allowing a small smile on his face. his fingers came up to push back strands of hair from your sweaty forehead and then wipe away the salty tears that had made home against the plane of you cheeks. once he was sure you had caught your breath, he pressed a sweet kiss to your skin. finally, he mumbled, "sorry, did i go too far?"
you shook your head no, curling further into him with ease. and he let you. he shifted his position so as to allow your skin on his, so as to press his nose to your hair and smell that strawberry shampoo, so as to almost pretend for a second that you were his.
but you didn't let the show run for long. a few minutes later, as you felt the energy returning to your body, you attempted to get up.
the jock's eyebrows furrowed, he sat up with you, "something wrong? do you want something? water or—"
"—no, no." you turned to give him a weak smile, "i think i'm just gonna go shower before kuna is home and he finds me like this."
oh. ofcourse. how could he forget the ever-looming threat that was sukuna?
"can you walk?" he asked earnestly, offering you his tshirt so you could put it on, "i can walk you to the shower, if you want."
"i'll be okay, yuu." you poked your head through his shirt, trying to stand up. but your legs immediately wobbled and you lost balance, "—fuck. okay. i guess not."
yuuji offered you a smile, picking you up bridal style as you squealed at his action. a blush crept up your neck and face, "what are you doing?!"
"what? i think i should be responsible for the mess i create, shouldn't i?" he gave you a cheeky smile, the kind where the cut under his eye came alive and he grinned ear to ear. a boyish grin, perhaps. and you were fortunate enough to be on the recipient end of it.
you weren't sure what it was that you felt for yuuji, or what you didn't. all you knew that right now — as he carried you out of his room clad in a t-shirt that smelt like him — it was as if he was aware of the sudden jump your heart and wanted nothing more than to be the cause of your untimely death.
"you don't have to do this." you mumbled.
what did 'this' refer to, exactly? you weren't quite sure. was it the fact that he had entertained your drunken idea for such a long amount of time? or was if the fact that in the moments even when you weren't offering him something physical, he still looked at you as if you hung up stars in the night sky for him? maybe it was as simple as the fact that he was carrying you to run you a bath.
he stayed quiet and you repeated yourself louder, "really, yuuji, you don't have to."
"i want to." and that was all he said.
you felt his biceps tense under you as he shifted your weight on one arm and attempted to open the door with the other. he gave you a reassuring smile, and you nudged your face against his chest to hide your embarrassment at his simple answer.
once he finally was through, he walked into the lliving room, attempting to make his way to the bathroom down the hallway whe—
"YUUJI?!" a voice boomed from the door and both of you whipped your head to look at the man that stood there.
ever heard of divine intervention? yeah, this was whatever the fuck is the opposite to that. satanic intervention. cursed intervention, perhaps.
"ON—ONICHAN?!"
"CHOSO?!" you scrambled off of yuuji, hitting the ground with a muffled thud.
choso immediately looked away from his half-naked brother and the girl in his brother's t-shirt*.
(*yeah, okay, just try to understand the family dynamics for a second. choso [24] is the oldest and he has graduated uni and has a job now. sukuna and (yn) [21] are in their third year, and yuuji [20] is in his second. choso knows who (yn) is since you and kuna are childhood besties or whatever. so... yeah okay, back to the shitshow 👍🏻)
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" choso asked loudly, his eyes still averted from you both so as to not accidentally see your exposed form.
"WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" yuuji retorted as you hid behind his broad figure instinctively, trying to recover whatever ounce of modesty you had.
"I OBVIOUSLY HAD THE KEY TO MY OWN HOME?!"
"WELL, DON'T WALK IN UNANNOUNCED? DO YOU HAVE NO MANNERS?"
"yuuji."
"IM SORRY 'NICHAN!!"
and that is how choso found out about your little arrangement. and that is how you both decided to never have another rendezvous session at the itadori's.
🧸lesson 05: you got this, itadori!
"what the fuck?" megumi asked slowly, eyeing yuuji as the jock shoved some french fries down his mouth.
"YEAH, WHAT THE FUCK?!" nobara repeated, louder. to which, megumi gave her a side-eye, "we're in public, kugisaki."
yuuji took his time, sipping his coke before shrugging, "yeah, so, 'nichan found out."
nobara shook her head, "no. no. turn around 360—"
"—180. 360 makes a circle."
"die, megs. anyways, turn around and tell me that part of the story where you started—" the red-head shuddered, "—doing stuff with senpai. why?! how?! why?! how??"
yuuji took a bite from his burger before saying, "well, she offered."
"fuck that all. it's old news."
"for you. cause, apparently, i was left out of the loop—"
"—much sad. anyways, is choso okay with you and her? or is he gonna snitch you out to sukuna?"
"i mean, no. i don't think so, no." yuuji tried to steal a fry off of nobara's plate and she smacked his hand off, "ow kugisaki! whatever. he gave me a long lecture about how i should actually pursue her and officially ask her out if we wanna keep doing this. after that, for whatever unrelated reason, he cried about how quickly we grew up."
"virgin behavior." nobara stuck out a tongue, quickly reeling out of her disbelief over the fact that yuuji was getting some, "i mean, that's old-fashioned. you don't have to date her, you know?"
"but your brother's not wrong, is he?" megumi offered. "don't keep doing this just cause you want a way to get your dick wet."
"megs, it's not 1920. they are consensual adults and they can just fool around if they're on the same page."
"yeah but about that—" yuuji tried to sneak in a fry from megumi's plate now, "—i think i'm in love with her. and i am pretty sure the feelings are one-sided."
"huH?!"
"what?" the jock looked at the two dumbfounded, "i like her. she's pretty and smart and i think— i like her."
he didn't think he liked you. he knew that he was whole-heartedly, as stupidly as humanly possible, in love with you.
but he didn't bother mentioning the fact.
he didn't bother mentioning a plethora of things, in fact. first, that his heart had been offered to you at the ripe age of four when he first realized that sunlight got caught against your hair strands somewhat magically, and when you smiled, he smiled; and that when he cried, you kissed his imaginary wounds better even when sukuna made fun of him.
he didn't bother mentioning that when he asked you to marry him, there was only such a small part of him that was 'joking', the larger chunk of him would have exchanged his soul for some sort of forbidden alchemy to be with you.
he didn't bother mentioning that when he was thirteen, a slew of girls had asked to be his girlfriend, and he had turned down each one of them to sneak in his first kiss with you.
but all those years of pining just turned into a small ball of anxiety, ever-growing in his stomach. he knew you didn't feel the same. so, he didn't bother saying any of that. because, well, frankly, his situation seems just a tiny-teensy bit pathetic.
"i guess i just like her... just a bit." he repeated, more to himself than others.
"we heard the first time. and the second."
"DUDE" nobara's eyes widened, "she's sukuna's best friend."
"hey, what happened to the fact that we are consensual adults fooling around?"
"oh no, fuck that. i was humoring you." nobara shook her head, "sukuna's gonna murder you."
"yeah, i know." yuuji sighed, his playfulness replaced by something more mature, "i am not gonna ask her out. i think i'm gonna call this— whatever this is�� off. i don't want her to lose her friendship with 'kuna, and she... well, she probably doesn't like me anyways."
megumi and nobara exchanged a sorry expression among themselves before looking back to yuuji. but the jock put on a smile, "ah it's fine, it was fun while it lasted." he leaned back in his seat, "wanna catch a movie after this? human earthworm is out."
so the quarterback had gone back home that day with a certain resolve. he would call this off.
he put on his lucky red sweatshirt, put on the cologne you had complimented once when he had gone for one of his lessons, and he put on his best fake smile. as he passed by sukuna in the living room, he guiltily looked away from him and walked out of the door as soon as possible.
"where ya going?" the tatted man asked, not looking up from his phone.
"nowhe—" he sighed, running a hand through his hair before he bent downwards to put on his shoes, "with gumi and nobara. we're going to the arcade."
"you've been hanging out with the fushiguro kid quite a lot nowadays. a lot of sleepovers."
yuuji's fingers halted, slowly fidgeting with the shoelaces before he threw sukuna a casual look, "he's my friend. and his dad is out of town so i go over. got an issue?"
"nah, do whatever." kuna met his eyes but then went back to his phone without saying much. a beat later, he continued, "well, let me know if you'd be home in time for dinner."
yuuji stood up, dusting off his clothes, "you're cooking today?"
"yeah, thought i'd invite her over. she likes that pasta i make."
at the mention of you, yuuji looked over sukuna once. a sharp sting suddenly erupted in his chest like someone had hit him. hard. and, so, without saying anything more, the younger itadori immediately left through the main door.
things must end.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
his fingers skimmed over the ringing bell in front of your apartment as his feet nervously shuffled around at the door. he knew you were on the other side, waiting for him. as the door swung open, he was face to face with your housemate.
"hey?" maki raised an eyebrow, a smug smile on her lips. she was dressed as if she was leaving to go somewhere, "she's in her room."
yuuji simply pursed his lips, nodded and moved past his senior. before walking into your room, he stalled in front of the door, threw his head back to catch maki about to leave, "kugisaki says hi, by the way."
and if yuuji didn't know any better, he would have assumed the glare maki gave was one well-intended to kill him.
he wasn't sure if the room was chilly or if the reason for goosebumps was something else, but nonetheless, he shut the door behind him and stepped into the room. as he came in view with the bed, he found you casually on your back, scrolling your phone.
"yuuji!" you smiled as you sat up, a familiar warmth spreading over your face at his presence. but he merely nodded, his lips drawn into a thin line.
"um," you fidgeted, standing up hastily and laughing to ease the awkwardness, "so, uh— did maki let you in?"
"yeah, she did."
"oh, well, she's going out, so we don't need to worry about her." you paused for a second before your expression fell and you tried again, "hey?"
but a same monotone expression fell across his face, "hey."
"um... is something wrong? in a bad mood or something?"
"not quite." yuuji rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at the cold, wooden floors, "i wanted to talk. to you, i mean."
you nodded, although he didn't look up at you to register your expression. he continued softly, "we should stop this."
"what?"
"i—" he looked up at you, quickly sneaking in a steadying breath, "i wanted to thank you for the 'lessons'. it's been fun and i learnt so much, really. but you don't have to do it anymo—"
"why?" you interrupted, "did someone find out?"
"what? no."
"then?" you stepped towards him, your unyielding gaze trained on his face, "do you not... want to do it with me anymore?"
"no, ofcourse not." his eyes widened and he stepped forward in a desperate attempt to comfort you. his palms found purchase against your cheek, "no. that's not what i meant."
"what do you mean then?" you looked up at him, confused.
"i-" he looked at you softly, "i really can't ruin your friendship with sukuna anymore. we need to stop. it has gone for... for way too long, now, hasn't it?"
"—it's just been a few months."
"come on. we both know we need to stop." he confessed, and as his words left you hollow, so did his touch. he pulled away from you and stepped back a teensy bit to allow you some space. "it will be for the best."
you looked at him for a beat. and then one more. finally, "kiss me."
and the jock obliged without any hesitation. his lips were familiar against yours, his hands on your cheek, and his body weight pressing onto you and pushing you backwards into the bed.
the back of your knees hit the wooden frame and you stumbled backwards, falling onto the bed with a muffled thud. but yuuji didn't bother following you and caging you underneath him. instead, he stood at the edge, waiting.
"yuu?" you asked softly.
"are you sure about this?"
and you weren't sure if he was asking that question to you or himself. you weren't sure if his fingers were shaking from the betrayal or the need to hold you against him. but you nodded your head anyways, "yeah. if this is it. if this is the last time then indulge in my stupid ideas one last time." you paused, "please?"
he nodded before swiftly throwing off his hoodie off of his torso an onto the floor. bruises from a few days before laid tattered across his tan skin and his biceps flexed and moved as he slowly caged you under him.
"fuck," he breathed in slowly, taking in your low-lidded gaze, "you're so fuckin' pretty."
your fingers found solace in his pinkish locks and you pulled him closer — till your skin smelt like his perfume and his stuttered breath hit your lips, "yuuji."
"hm?" his eyes ran over your face, and the adoration in his eyes made you feel like he would set the world aflame if you so as even asked him to.
"fuck me."
his pupils widened, cheeks flushed and a breathless gasp got stuck in his throat. at his reaction, you pulled him downwards, kissing him softly before the tendrils of passing seemed to nip down on both of you. soon after, you were nothing more than messy kisses, clashing teeth and wrong decisions.
"fuuck— ha-harder." he moaned as your fingernails sunk into his scalp, pulling him harder against yourself.
your hands travelled downwards to his chest and you pushed him away only to turn him around and straddle his hips. your pelvis rolled over his, the delicious friction driving you delirious as you peered down at the man under you — kiss-bitten lips, tousled hair, flushed cheeks.
yuuji itadori looked at you as if you were his god.
and you played along. rolling your hips, tracing a finger from his jaw down to his pecs as your lips traced the path with soft kisses soon after.
his hips stuttered, trying to meet your shallow teases before he mumbled out a soft, "take off your clothes."
you smiled, putting on a show for him as you slipped out of your tshirt. leaving yourself exposed to his preying eyes, you slowly took off the bra.
"shit, look at you." he raised himself on his elbows, coming upwards to softly kiss your warm skin before slowly licking over your nipple as another hand fondled the other. your head was thrown back at the feeling of his warm mouth on you while his fingers softly tugged at the other.
soon after that, you found yourself rocking yourself on his long fingers as he sunk his teeth in your neck, getting off on the pretty sounds you made as you rut against him almost as desperately as he was. when he caught you sinking your teeth into your bottom lip, trying to stay quiet, he pulled your face towards his and kissed you senseless. when he pulled away, his hot breath fanned over your lips, "don't. let me hear, please."
and so senseless moans tumbled down your lips as you you came, still rutting against his hand.
when your breath stilled and you finally met his gaze, all you could was breath out an airy, "fuck me, please."
flushed face, hazy eyes, your mouth parted so prettily at the end of the sentence. who was itadori yuuji to deny you of anything?
"say that again."
🧸lesson 06: fuck it up, itadori!
"n-no protection? are you... sure?"
god, he was adorable.
you held back a laugh as you re-assured him a millionth time, "i'm on birth control, so, no. trust me."
"hm. hm." his breath was caught in his throat as if it were a jagged rock. your hands on his torso felt warm — too warm — as if they would char him and you blinked up at him so prettily as you laid atop those pillows.
"i- one second. i-" his voice was thick, hands slightly shaking as he tried to guide his erection into your slick cunt.
"yuu," you cooed and he looked at you in part hope, part confusion. a laugh escaped you at his expression, "you look like a kicked puppy."
"so-sorry, imjustnervous—" he mumbled, his eyes avoiding yours.
"yuu," you repeated, "this is your first time, right?"
he nodded so softly that it was entirely too easy to miss it. you held back an amused grin, "let me help, okay?"
shockwaves ran through his body as your soft hand slowly took ahold of his dick and ran the tip over your clit, gathering your wetness on the mushroom tip. you both held back a choked sigh as your hand continued the same up and down, up and down, up and down motion till you felt as if yuuji was going to cry just from the teasing.
"h-hey—"
"sorry, sorry. no more teasin', i promise." you replied cheekily, fingers finally guiding him to your sloppy hole. and as the tip finally pushed past the first ring of feeble resistance, a shuddering gasp left the man above you.
pushing in inch by inch, you gasped at the sinful stretch of him filling you. your walls spasmed slightly against him, hugging him so sinfully tight that he wondered if he would pass out just right now. but he couldn't. so he commanded himself to keep moving forward till he was all but buried within you.
"s-shit." his breath was heavy against the dip of your neck and you ran a soft hand through his hair, "you okay, yuu?"
"ye-yeah." he shook his head slowly, descending down on you to sink his teeth into your skin again as he started moving slowly.
"jus like that— yeah."
at first his thrusts were slow and shallow, as if he was just testing the waters. but as you found you keening into his touches and moaning as his tip rubbed against a certain spot, he grew sure of his actions.
his thrusts were now harder, a bit more precise and his tempo increased as you dug your heels on his back and tugged on his hair to keep him going.
"jesus" you gasped, back arching off slowly as his lower abs caught friction against your clit and his dick started ramming into your with a periodic rhythm. "fu-fuck is it your fuckin first time? for fucks sake, yuuji ngh—"
his breath was laboured, a thin layer of sweat adorning his forehead and nose, "im a quick learner, fuck— you're shi-shit, you're so fucking perfect."
lifting himself up slightly, his hand snaked in between your bodies and he found himself thumbing at your clit with ease.
"yuuji—" your voice pitched up as his circles grew in pressure. already overstimulated from his administrations on your poor cunt, you felt the pressure building inch by inch till it grabbed ahold of your body and shook you to your very core.
under him, you grabbed hastily at the sheets, at the pillow, at his hair, at anything to keep yourself on this plane of consciousness as he kept drawing messy figures on your clit and fucked into your cervix with reckless abandon.
and that unsteady, familiar feeling grew and grew and grew till it turned your body to jello and burst inwards, "f-fuck shit, ohmygod im cummin im cummin im cumm— FUCK YUUJI—"
his fingers pressed hastily against your lips but the cockiness in his voice practically dripped off of him and onto you, "shh, someone might hear, pretty."
his thrusts grew erratic, nudging him more and more towards a certain, familiar kind of high. his face found solace against your shuddering body as he cursed and spilled inside you.
"fuck." he cursed one last time as he breathed you in, just laying atop you having spent himself.
he slowly pulled himself upwards, pressing a chaste kiss to your nose, and you gave him a spent smile, the kind that had quickly became his favorite. he slowly pulled himself out, and caught the milky white gushing out of your cunt.
and with that, itadori yuuji lost all sanity.
next you knew, your face was being pressed into the mattress, your cunt being ravaged by his unforgiving dick ramming in and out easily.
"fuc-fuck, sogood so fuckin' good—"
his chest was against your back, his weight pressing down on your so deliciously and trapping you under him. you pressed your face harder into the mattress, screaming out muffled renditions of his name as he softly pinched your clit.
"i'm sorry, baby, im so fuckin' sorry" but he sounded anything but sorry as he whispered hotly in your ear, both his fingers and his dick doing everything in their power to turn you into nothing more than a woman maddened with his touch.
your fingers sunk into the sheets underneath, your death-grip growing even more deadlier as he fucked into you as a man depraved.
"this 'sthe last time," his words slurred as he left sloppy kisses down your neck, "promise, i promise."
but those promises were nothing more than candied words on his pretty lips, because now he had you on top of him, your back against his chest, his heels digging into your mattress dangerously as he fucked up into you.
"yuu— yuuJI pleaseplease ple— fucking fuc—" your voice grew in pitch, unresolved tears falling down your face as his hands fondled your tits, tugging and tweaking the nipples to his liking, and your own familiar fingers toyed with your clit.
how could he go on for so fucking long? jesus fucking christ.
"i play varsi- fuck varsity," he answered softly, "this is nothin' for me."
he pressed a soft kiss to your neck as his cock split you apart for the nth time and you fell apart on top of the man who claimed to love you more than he loved life and reason itself.
"don't." his voice grew desperate, a hand coming to hold yours over your overstimulated, abused clit, "i didn- say you could stop, did i? keep going. please. one more. fuck. please."
"yuuji stop—"
"—give me one more, please."
"pleasepleaseplease—" you sobbed, your body arching off of him as he brought you to another one orgasm. you eyes rolled back into your skull, a bit of drool dangerously on your bottom lip, and your body went slack so as to let him do as he pleased.
your cunt gushed on his dick, spraying you both in your juices he thrusted into one last time, spilling into your overfilled pussy all over again with a breathless string of pants and moans.
the quarterback collapsed backwards onto your bed with you on top of him. he reluctantly pushed the weight of your sweaty body off of him, and instinctively pressed another kiss to your head.
his hand came up to push back the sweaty hair strands that stuck to you like second skin, and to thumb at the furious blush on your cheeks. your eyes fluttered upwards at him, you barely managing a smile, "thankyou."
"for what?" he turned to his side, taking every feature of you in with a small smile. a beat passed him by in the serene room before he found his heart weighing heavily and lodging itself between his lungs.
"you're so pretty" he found himself mumbling, "i wish i- i wish i could..." but he caught himself before he could make a fool of himself and confess to a passed out girl. he bit the inside of his cheek. maybe it was better if he just left wordlessly. "nothing."
you were asleep. he knew that. but then why did you snuggle closer and whispered a soft, "i love you."
"—huH?!" any and all sanity left the jock at this point. his eyes as wide as saucers as he stared down your softly snoring form, "what did you just say?"
but you said nothing, still softly snoring in your goddamn sleep and yuuji felt like he was going insane. did you say it??? did he imagine it??? is this a punishment from the devil (sukuna) itself??? what was real anymore? was he real???
and hey what does a panicked twenty year old does when faced with the possible conundrum of his crush of fifteen years having feelings for him?? he runs.
yuuji itadori never had put on his clothes faster than he did right this moment. hastily putting one leg into the sweats and then another, he dashed to make his way to the door. before stepping out, he looked back at you one last time.
fuck itadori, are you dumb?! she doesn't love you like that. it's the post-sex hormones. his consciousness begged in the voice of megumi fushiguro, which was a bit concerning cause was the voice of reason in his head megumi fushiguro?!
but that was not the issue at hand right now. his voice of reason could be questioned another time. right now? running. yes, that was the plan.
the lock softly clicked and he stepped out into the living room before closing the door ever so slowly behind him.
"done fucking?"
and yuuji's blood ran cold.
he whipped around to peer at a certain, tatted delinquent who was sat on the couch in the living room, "brother?"
"brother? huh?" sukuna laughed, the sound so chilling that yuuji felt his blood freeze ad turn into cement, "bringing out the formalities?"
yuuji's tongue got stuck in his throat and sukuna stood up slowly, holding up his hands in mock surrender, "she wouldn't pick up my calls, and i had a spare key. sorry if i'm fuckin imposing."
"'kuna," yuuji's voice was quiet, "it's not what he looks like."
"hm, it is not?" he flashed the younger itadori an amused smile, "ofcourse it is not. what do you think i think you both did?"
"fu-fucked?" the jock swallowed hard.
"bingo."
"i didn't." yuuji didn't know if he was begging for forgiveness, and if yes, then what for? for betraying sukuna's trust or for feeling satisfied that his brother knew of his conquests?
"you didn't? from what i heard, she seemed a little too happy in there." and now sukuna stood mere inches apart, his hand balled into a neat fist.
"kun—" but yuuji's right cheek bore the fate of getting punched by sukuna.
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND, YUUJI?"
the jock nursed his cheek, still reeling from the attack. but a certain flame came alive. he wasn't a fucking child. "YEAH, YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND."
sukuna looked at him in disbelief, "how fucking could you? she meaNS SHIT TO ME, YOU FUCKFACE."
"—SO DOES SHE TO ME."
the man stepped insanely closer, grabbing ahold of yuuji's hoodie's collar, "THEN WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU RUNNING AWAY FROM HER RIGHT NOW? HUH?"
the two boys heaved heavily, anger boiling hot through their veins. finally yuuji spat up, "she told me she loved me."
sukuna's grasp loosened, "what?"
"she fucking told me she loved me."
"and you're running?" sukuna looked at his brother with a strange look. disappointment, perhaps?
"i- it's a mistake. she doesn't." yuuji looked downwards, trying not to show his pain in his soft words, "and... i didn't want to fucking hurt you, asshole."
"so you're a coward?" the tatted man scoffed.
and yuuji pushed his brother back, "fuck you."
"no." sukuna's gaze hardened, "you fuck off, you stupid fucking dipshit. she told you she loves you, and you ran?"
"for fucks sake, sukuna" yuuji breathed in slowly, "i thought you'd be elated she probably doesn't."
"you fucked around with her for god knows how long, pretending i didn't know." sukuna stepped back, his words quieter.
"you knew?"
"i'm not dumb, of course i fucking knew." he paused, "and 'nichan told me."
"jesus fucking christ, 'nichan." yuuji looked down at the floors, "what now?"
"grow a pair, and actually ask her out."
"what?" the jock looked up, confused, "you- wait, you are saying i should ask her out?"
sukuna shrugged, "you've compromised her. you must follow through with the consequences."
"did you watch too much bridgerton? what the fuck is compromised??"
"i did, 'nichan made me watch it. pleasantly surprising, actually." and yuuji was immediately mentally slapped with the image of sukuna enjoying bridgerton.
"huh?" yuuji softly shook his head, "so... what? i like have your blessing or whatever to ask her out?"
the delinquent made a face of disgust, "i'm not a priest, what the fuck do you mean by blessing? yeah, just fucking ask her out."
"and what if she says no?"
"then i will remind you of your failure everyday in life."
yuuji looked at his brother awestruck, "thanks, kuna."
"don't. when you come back home, im gonna beat you to a pulp for fucking my best friend."
"i deserve it."
"fuck yeah, you do." the older itadori made his way to the main entrance, "go fix shit."
and as sukuna left through the door, itadori yuuji slipped back into your room, crawled back into bed with you, and held you close to his chest. softly, as a giddy smile overtook his features, he mumbled, "i love you too."
next morning you woke up next to a fully-clothed yuuji with a swollen right cheek.
"yuu?! why are you dressed?! and what the fuck happened to your cheek?!"
"i fell off your bed."
"what the actual fuck?!"
a/n: IM GENUINELY SO SORRY IF THIS SUCKS ASS, I GOT TOO MUCH INTO CHARACTER WRITING HELPPP!! i really hope it was atleast a fun read, and as i said it took me 4 days just to make it a bit coherent since i'm writing after so long. please forgive me and enjoy the meal. [sorry for any typos and such babes] tagging: @9rvm @jellibean2018 @peekawoocc @kingofthe-egirls @hugmevz [thankyou sm for sending in the request, i was already writing it here so i tagged you <3] misc.: divider by @plutism and header format by @si-eunnis plagiarism not authorized bitch.
#yuuji smut#yuuji itadori#yuuji x reader#yuji smut#itadori smut#jjk smut#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk yuuji#itadori yuuji#itadori yuji smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen#teaching a lesson series
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Bonds Of Fate: Comission for @dragonqueen2021
I had a great time writing this. I absolutely love how it turned out. Happy reading everyone!
I have one commission slot open on Patreon if you’re interested. I will add more slots when I am less busy!
Pairing: Centaur (Leon) x Werewolf (Val) x fem!human (Melisa)
Summary: Melisa is struggling to get away from the men who are chasing her only to stumble upon a towering werewolf and centaur. They protect her and sense she is their mate. They show her that no matter how reluctant she is, that they belong together.
Warnings: minors don't interact, 18+!!!!, explicit smut, fingering, magic to fit, huge 🍆, p in v sex, oral, dp, lots 💦.
They were catching up on her.
Melisa pumped her legs, her heart pounding in her chest. She ran through the forest, her breathing ragged. Her knees were weak, her clothes torn by branches but she didn’t dare slow down. Not with the men chasing right behind her, leering and shouting. They were four of them. They’d tried to attack her but she’d fled from them, sprinting like the devil was chasing her. But she had no chances unless by some miracle someone stronger intervened.
But she didn’t believe in miracles. Only in herself.
And right now, the only solution was to keep running and eventually lose them in the woods.
Desperate, she took a sharp turn, darting around trees and over fallen logs. The voices became distant and suddenly, a small ray of hope appeared in the shape a small cabin. Help! Maybe she could get help there, or at least a place to hide. She ran to the cabin, frantic and terrified. She stumbled over a branch, lost balance—
But the fall never came.
She had crashed into something solid and warm.
She looked up and a gasp left her dry lips. No… no this couldn’t be!
Two massive figures surrounded her, dwarfing her small frame. The one holding her was a werewolf, tall and towering with dark fur, amber eyes and a scowling mouth, revealing sharp fangs. His furry arms encompassed her waist. His hold was tight but strangely, gentle enough. Next to her was a centaur, his chiselled human torso merging into the body of a large, muscular horse. His face was sharp and handsome, his animal mane an earthy dark brown, like his eyes.
Melisa struggled to escape, but the werewolf didn’t loosen his hold and kept staring at her with his shining amber eyes.
That was when the centaur talked, “She’s terrified. Be gentle with her.”
The werewolf sniffed the air. “Someone’s coming. Four of them.”
Melissa trembled at that and struggled to find her voice. “P… please, they’re after me.”
Before she could explain further, the group of men had caught up. They burst into the clearing and stopped short when they saw the werewolf and centaur shielding her. The men exchanged uneasy glances but didn’t back down. They held up their weapons and circled them.
“It’s four of us against two of you,” one of the men sneered. “Beasts or not, we can take you.”
The centaur stepped forward, his hooves thudding on the ground. “Leave. Now.”
“Hand over the woman and we’ll leave,” another man demanded, his leery eyes on Melisa. “She’s ours.”
The werewolf growled, his eyes flashing dangerously. “She belongs to no one.”
“You’re in our land”, the centaur warned, his behaviour more controlled. “Leave now or pay the price. The woman is under our protection.”
The men didn’t heed the warning.
They lunged forward, weapons poised high. But they were no match for them. Keeping Melisa tucked between their bodies, her protectors struck, hooves and claws tricking out. They pushed back her attackers, knocking their weapons with deadly punches and feral growls. The fight ended as quickly as it had begun and the men retreated, bruised and barely able to walk, fleeing with screeching cries.
Melisa looked at her saviours with wide eyes, gratitude and fear for what came next flooding her heart. She huddled into a small ball on the ground, her mind reeling. They’d saved her but what now? Was she dead meat? At their mercy? Humans spread all kinds of horrible rumours about creatures like them.
“You’re safe now,” the werewolf kneeled beside her, his eyes on her. “I’m Leon. You are safe.”
“I am Val,” the centaur said, “no one will harm you. Why were they after you?”
Melissa took a deep breath and peeked at them. “Bad intentions. I did nothing wrong I swear!”
“We believe you,” Val said. “And we’ll protect you. No one will dare lay a hand on you.”
“You won’t eat me?” Melisa said and heard them laugh.
“We don’t eat humans, little one,” Leon said, the timbre of his voice tender. Not the way you think, he thought but kept it to himself. He didn’t want to terrify her.
“Promise?” Melisa asked, her heart beating frantically within her chest.
“We promise,” Leon said and slowly reached for her hands. They were small and soft in contrast to his own rough palms.
She tensed at the touch but did not draw away.
Val also knelt, leaning down to frame her cheek. “Don’t be afraid,” he said, his tone so soft that somehow eased her.
“You’re here now,” Leon said and before she could react, he sniffed her, his snout burying in her hair.
Melisa shivered but again, she didn’t move. Something inside her made her feel safe with them, something that told her it was okay. Leon and Val exchanged looks, their faces unreadable. Just then, she felt an inexplicable pull, something squeezing her heart. Something strange was happening. She felt hot and she also felt the warmth radiating from their bodies.
Val’s hand tangled into her hair, his breath hot against her forehead. “Found you,” he uttered, growling deep from within his chest.
“F-found what?” she stuttered, his deep voice sending shivers down her spine. It awakened feelings she hadn’t expected to feel and they went straight to her pussy. Warmth pooling, aching delightfully.
“Yessss, so good,” Leon inhaled the air, his baritone causing another shiver of arousal.
“Such a sweet scent,” Val said, his mane brushing against her skin.
“What’s going on?” Melisa attempted to crawl away, but their gazes held her captive.
“Mate,” Val explained. “You’re our mate.”
“No!” She took a step back, away from their tempting touches. “That’s impossible. We can’t! We can’t do this.”
“We’ll protect you. You have nothing to be afraid of,” Val said and lifted her, pulling her chest to chest.
“Please…” Melisa’s lips quivered, her eyes brimming with tears. She was suspended in the air, pressed so tightly against the centaur’s broad chest.
“Shh… my sweet love.”
And then Val was kissing her, his hands cupping her face, keeping her there for his sweet assault. Melisa squirmed but relented with a sigh, giving in to the pressure of his body and lips. A moan left her when the full length of Leon’s body rubbed against her back. The werewolf was hugging her from behind, spreading licks and kissed across her neck.
“Yes,” Val whispered. “Don’t be afraid. Let us scent you.”
Before she could protest, Leon angled her head to the side and tasted her lips as well. Melisa moaned, and he took advantage, his tongue slipping past her mouth, tasting, claiming. More moans left her as he kissed and fed from her mouth, her resolve wavering, her body betraying her.
She was shamefully wet, her nipples tight and aching.
And they knew, or more rightly, they sensed.
The haze of need took over her senses as they kissed her, taking turns claiming her mouth, their tongues brushing with hers. Before she realized, Val’s hands were tugging at her clothes, fingers fumbling with the buttons of her shirt while Leon tugged down her pants and panties. They cooperated despite her reluctance, their hands pulling everything off until she was naked, fully bared to them.
Melisa shook all over and not from the cold.
She was naked, arousal pooling in her belly.
And they were naked too. Leon had dragged off his pants, revealing a thick veiny cock and two heavy balls hanging from between. Val had also removed the harness that concealed his shaft and her eyes widened at the massive size of it. It was thicker than Leon’s though not as long.
Still… the sight of them so well-endowed, made her cower a little.
Val shifted a little, so he did not terrify her with his size and turned her over so she was facing Leon. The centaur’s warm chest pressed against her back while the werewolf bent, his fur teasing her nipples. His tongue traced the curve of her neck, while Val’s lips pressed gentle kisses to her temple. When their hands started roaming her body, Melisa bit her lip hard as not to whine. Val’s human hands trailed her slender shoulders then cupped the swell of her breasts. He kneaded the sensitive flesh, thumbs flicking her sensitive nipples.
“So soft,” Val said, pinching her nipples lightly and causing her to arch and whimper.
“Hmm…” Leon hummed from where he trailed kisses down her stomach, his tongue dipping into her bellybutton. His lips danced between her legs but Melisa kept them shut tightly.
“Nn…nooo,” she muttered while Val’s lips found her neck, suckling gently.
“Open sweetheart,” Leon rasped, his thumbs rubbing her thighs invitingly. “Open for us.”
“We’re going to make you feel so good,” Val said, his breath hot against her ear.
Leons’s hands stayed on her legs while he took a nipple into his warm mouth. He circled the bud causing her to moan then took it into his mouth, suckling. Melissa wiggled helplessly between them. They had trapped her, trapped her between their strong bodies and she felt no fear, only desire. Mindbreaking desire. Eventually, her legs opened and Leon’s hand slid between them, his fingers teasing her folds.
“Fuuuuck,” Leon growled, his warm breath fanning over her core. “She’s even softer here. Warm and soaked.”
Melissa gasped, her body trembling as Leon spread her out and made room for Val to slide his fingers and feel her as well. The centaur manipulated her folds, his fingers probing her moist entrance while Leon found her clit, teasing the bud with feather-light strokes.
“Oh god,” she moaned, her knees weakening.
Val grasped her from under the knees, lifting her back against him, opening and exposing her in all her glory. Leon retracted his claws and rubbed his finger back and forth on her little cunt. He lubricated that finger in her juices, then thrust it inside her slick heat. Melisa whimpered as that digit, as thick as a human dick, curled deep inside her. It stretched her pussy, delightfully so.
Immense warmth spread through her as they teased her, her toes curling in the air. Leon’s eyes were shining amber, she noticed, and Val was rubbing her clit, murmuring words in a language she couldn’t understand. Her pussy tingled, her muscles seizing. Her mind was a whirl of sensation and arousal, and soon their strokes pushed her over the edge, stars flashing in her vision.
“Wh…what did you do?” she panted watching where they were still caressing her. With shock she noticed that both their fingers were deep, very deep inside her, stretching her pussy at its limits. But she felt no discomfort at the stretch.
“That was our combined magic,” Leon explained, giving her sensitive clit a lick. “It will make it easier for you to take us.”
“You will take Leon’s cock first. He will stretch your little hole and prepare you for me,” the centaur whispered, his fingers spreading apart her outer labia, offering her fluttering hole to the werewolf.
Melisa glanced between them, then at Leon. He was pumping his wolf shaft, the tip was a slightly pointy, leaking pre-cum. Val kept her legs open from under the knees and watched as Leon rubbed his shaft against her pussy. A soft hitch left her when the cock entered her depths and filled her up, until Leon’s hairy balls pressed against her bum.
All three of them gasped.
Melisa felt full at the invasion, body stretched to its limits but blissfully craved more. Leon gave more to her, his cock plundering her depths as if it was made to dominate her. Meanwhile, Val pinched and teased her bouncing breasts, his eyes glued to the sight of her little slit being forced open by Leon’s cock. She whined, overstimulated and Leon increased his thrusts, his hips snapping repeatedly.
Pussy clenching, Melisa came with a cry, her orgasm tearing through her in an explosion of senses. She thrashed, but Val held her steady while Leon pistoned inside her, his knot swelling and catching at the rim. Then with a roar, the werewolf thrust to the hilt and locked their bodies, spurting rope after rope of cum inside her. Melisa winced at the sensations, his seed was warm and filled her up to the brim, the knot plugging everything up.
Once his knot subsided, Val was next to claim her. The centaur bent down and kissed her and this time, her lips parted eagerly. His tongue tasted her mouth, their tongues brushing together. He pressed her to a makeshift bed of moss and leaves, on her hands and knees. Ass up in the air, Val caressed her asscheeks before his huge horse body covered her.
Something thick and pulsing pressed against her pussy. Leon assisted, spreading her folds so that Val could press the broad head of his cock against her tight heat. Her pussy was drenched and cum-stained so with a nudge, the centaur’s girth popped inside. Melisa whined obscenely, clutching the earth in her fists. Val was thick, impossibly thick, her belly bulging with his size.
Yet he surged inside her and fit perfectly, owning her pussy until he was pulsing so deep, she felt him close to her heart. Hooves digging into the earth, Val claimed her, his cock squelching as it fucked her. Her frame buckled with each slam, rocking against his massive cock. He hit all the right spots, and she couldn’t stop moaning.
“Feels good mate, doesn’t it?” Val growled, his mane tossing wildly with his thrusts.
“Hmm—so good…” Melisa nodded fervently, her walls tightening around him. “More! More!”
“Look at our needy little mate,” Leon rumbled and kissed her moaning lips. “Takes us cocks like a good girl and asks for more. She deserves it all. All our seed, hm?”
“Yes,” she nodded fervently. “Want you. Want your seed.”
“That’s it, take him deep,” Leon urged, watching your soaked cunt swallow Val’s cock. “Take it all.”
“Going to breed our pretty mate,” Val panted, picking up speed. “Fill her with our seed to bursting until she’s carrying our offspring.”
With a final, powerful thrust, Val sent her over the edge and she moaned wildly, her voice echoing through the forest. Pleasure tingled everywhere, her muscles convulsing violently. Triggered by her climax, the centaur shuddered and exploded into her, spilling buckets of cum that filled her to bursting. Her belly bulged, much of it overflowing and dribbling down her pussy lips.
From there on, everything turned into a pleasure haze.
They fucked her, two huge beasts claiming her as their mate, keeping her pussy stretched and filled with their cum. Leon knotted her again and again, and Val filled her up with so much cum, she was bathed in it. It was intense, one orgasm crashing over her after the other. She barely had one cock out before it got replaced. They took care of her mouth too, teaching her how to lick and suck them deep. They alternated so when one fucked her pussy, the other was deep down her throat.
It went on and on through the night— them filling her, stroking her, putting her in all kinds of positions, drawing out her pleasure and building it anew. They whispered lovewords, praised her and swore to protect her, to make her proud to have them as mates. And the more they claimed her, the more she accepted them, yielding to her mates.
Yes, they were hers. Both of them, beastly yet in love with her, strong yet soft with her. And she was theirs, in every way.
By morning, they finally spilled the last of their cum inside her. Exhausted but sated, Melissa lay between them, her womb filled with their hot seed. Val and Leon took her into their cabin, tucked her into their massive bed and held her close. Melissa tried to keep herself from sleeping but she was exhausted, so utterly safe and comfortable between them.
“Sleep, little mate,” Val whispered, kissing her eyelids.
Melisa stifled a yawn. “I’m afraid to wake up and realize that this was all a dream.”
Leon chuckled. “It’s not a dream, sweetheart. We are very real. We are your home now.”
“Are you mine? Forever?” she asked, aching for those magnificent males to be hers and hers alone.
“We belong to you," Val drawled. "And you belong to us now; body and soul...all ours."
Melissa smiled and drifted into a blissful sleep, knowing that her life would never be the same again.
She had found hope and love.
THE END
#centaur x female reader#centaur x you#centaur x human#werewolf smut#werewolf x human#werewolf x reader#werewolf x centaur x human#monster x human#monster smut#monster x reader#monster x you#monster lover#monster boyfriend#monster fucker#monster fudger#monster romance#monster x female reader#threes0me
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Mafias Mistress pt. 4 | N.R
MafiaBoss!Natasha x CivilianYounger!Reader
Warnings: 18+! MINORS DNI! Age gap (Natasha is 32 = reader ist 22), Gore, guns, Death, screaming, so much teasing, be forced to watch people have sex, restraints, Begging, edging
Word Count: 7,4K
A/N: truely very exciting to write..🫠
You hummed softly to yourself as you moved around the kitchen, the tantalizing aroma of dinner filling the cozy apartment.
Tonight was supposed to be a peaceful evening, a chance to relax after the recent chaos. You were determined to create a feast that would make even Natasha smile after a long day.
You barely noticed the sound of the front door creaking open at first, completely focused on the task at hand. "Natasha, you're home early!" you called out cheerfully without turning around. "I'm almost done with dinner. You're going to love it!"
The silence that followed your words was unexpected and sent a shiver down your spine. Slowly you turned around, a smile still on your lips. But the figure standing in the doorway was not Natasha.
A tall, imposing man with sharp features and cold eyes stared at you. His presence radiated menace, and the way he surveyed the room sent a wave of fear over you. Your heart pounded in your chest as you instinctively took a step back.
"Who are you?" you asked, trying to keep calm despite the rising panic in your voice. The man grinned, his gaze never leaving yours. "Viktor," he replied, his tone dripping with malice. "I'm an old... acquaintance of Natasha's. You must be Y/N."
Your mind raced, trying to piece together the fragments of the conversations you once had with Natasha. Viktor. But that name means absolutely nothing to you.
"What do you want?" you asked, your voice shaking despite your efforts to appear brave.
Viktor took a step closer, his presence overwhelming the small kitchen. "I'm here to leave a message," he said, his eyes flashing with a cruel light. "Natasha has interfered in matters that are none of her business. It's time she understood the consequences."
Your breath caught as you realized the gravity of the situation. You were a pawn, a means to an end in a game that was far more dangerous than you had imagined. The knife you had been using to cut vegetables lay within reach, but you knew it was no match for Viktor's imposing frame.
Your next move was driven by desperation. Without thinking, you grabbed the knife and held it up defensively. "Stay back!" you warned, your voice firmer now, even though your hands were shaking.
Viktor chuckled, a chilling sound that sent shivers down your spine. "Brave, but stupid," he said, taking another step forward. "Do you really think you can stop me?"
Before you could react, Viktor lunged at you, disarming you with terrifying ease. The knife fell useless to the ground. He grabbed your arm with an iron grip and pulled you close.
"You will deliver a message for me," he hissed, his breath hot against her ear. "Tell Natasha she can't hide forever. We will find her. And when we do, she will pay for her interference."
Tears of fear and frustration welled up in your eyes as you struggled against his grip, but Viktor's strength was overwhelming. "Let go of m-me!" you cried, your voice breaking.
With one final, menacing smile, Viktor released you and pushed you back. As you collapsed to the floor, shaking and gasping for air, you didn't hear the sound of footsteps quickly approaching outside.
The front door swung open again, revealing Natasha, heading to your apartment to surprise you. "Y/N, I'm him-" Natasha's voice trailed off as her gaze fell on the scene before her. Her eyes widened in fear and anger as she saw you slumped on the floor, Viktor standing over you.
The smile that had graced Natasha's face moments before vanished, replaced by a cold, deadly expression. Her body tensed, and in an instant she was a predator ready to attack.
"Viktor," Natasha spat, her voice a dangerous growl. "Get away from her." Viktor slowly turned around, his expression one of slight surprise mixed with amusement. "Natasha, what a pleasant surprise," he drawled, though the malice in his eyes betrayed his words. "Exactly the woman I was hoping to see."
Natasha's eyes flashed with anger as she walked toward him, each step deliberate and full of menace. "You made a big mistake coming here," she hissed in a deep, deadly voice.
Viktor laughed, though there was a hint of unease in his eyes as he faced Natasha's wrath in full force. "We'll see," he said, his bravery wavering slightly.
Without warning, Viktor drew a gun and pointed it directly at you. The intention was clear: to hurt Natasha by hurting the person she cared about.
Your scream and plea pierced the air, your eyes widening in fear. "Natasha, please, do whatever he wants!" you pleaded, your voice shaking uncontrollably.
Something dark flickered in Natasha's eyes as she reached under her jacket and pulled out her own gun, pointing it hard at Viktor. Your shock was palpable, your world spinning out of control. The Natasha you knew had never hinted at this side of herself. Is she a cop? Does she have the gun for self-defense?
"Put the gun down, Viktor," Natasha ordered, her voice cold and unwavering. "This is between you and me."
Victor's grin faded as he looked between Natasha and you. "So, the kitten has claws," he sneered. "But do you really think you can pull the trigger, Natasha? While she's watching?"
Your heart was pounding, your head was racing. This was a side of Natasha you'd never seen, never even imagined. The realization that Natasha was deeply involved in a dangerous world shook you to the core.
"Natasha, please," you whisper, your voice breaking. "Just do what he says." Natasha's eyes softened for a brief moment as they met yours, but the iron resolve quickly returned. "I won't let him hurt you," she said, her voice filled with a deadly promise.
In the tense standoff, Viktor's confidence began to waver. He had underestimated Natasha's resolve and willingness to protect you at all costs. "Last chance, Viktor," Natasha said, her voice deadly. "Drop the gun and walk away, or I'll end this right now."
Viktor hesitated, gripping the gun tighter. But he could see the determination in Natasha's eyes, the unwavering resolve that meant she wouldn't hesitate to fire. Slowly he lowered his weapon, a frustrated growl escaping his lips. Natasha moved quickly, disarming Viktor and knocking him to the ground. She stood over him, her gun pointed at his head, her expression cold and merciless.
"You will never threaten her again," Natasha said, her voice ice cold. "You and Dreykov will get the message loud and clear." Viktor's eyes widened in fear as he realized the true depth of Natasha's determination. Before he could say another word, Natasha pulled the trigger and the shot echoed through the apartment.
Your scream shattered the silence, a raw, emotive sound of shock and terror. You crawled away and pressed yourself against the kitchen counter, your eyes widening in horror as you stared at Viktor's lifeless body.
"Y/N, don't look at him, look at me.." Natasha said quietly, turning to you. She held out a hand, her expression full of concern. "It's okay- it’s okay! You're safe now!“
"D-Don't touch me!" you screamed, your voice high in panic. "Stay away from me!" Natasha froze, her heart breaking as she saw the fear in your eyes. She took a step back and raised her hands in a placating gesture. "Y/N, please, just let me explain-"
"I said stay away!!" you screamed again, your body shaking. "What did you d-do? He gave up! He-"
At that moment, the front door flew open and Maria stormed into the apartment along with several of Natasha's men. Maria took in the scene with a quick, practiced glance, her eyes narrowing as she assessed the situation and knew what to do.
Maria stepped forward and placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "It's going to be okay," she said in a firm voice. "I'm from the police and I'm here to help..“
You looked at Maria, confusion and fear battling in your eyes. "An officer? I don't understand...h-how did you know...?"
Natasha's eyes met Maria's, a silent understanding passing between them. "We have to go," Natasha said quietly, her voice full of urgency. "They're going to come get us now."
You shook your head, your fear giving way to anger. "No! I'm not going anywhere with you! You lied to me, I-I don't even know who you are!"
Maria squeezed your shoulder gently, your eyes serious. "Y/N, I know this is a lot to take in, but you have to trust us. Natasha is trying to protect you. If you stay here, you're in danger."
"I know I lied, but everything I did was to protect you.. You have to come with me. It's not safe here anymore.." Your eyes darted between Natasha and Maria, your mind racing. The woman you thought you knew stood before you, a stranger in many ways, but your desperation and sincerity were undeniable. The apartment that had once felt like a sanctuary now felt like a prison, its walls closing in with every second.
"Y/N," Maria interjected gently but firmly, "Natasha is right. We don't have much time. I understand that you're scared and angry, but we have to move. Staying here is not an option.”
Your breath came in short gasps, your thoughts a whirlwind of fear, betrayal and confusion. “You’re a cop?” you ask, searching for some semblance of truth in the chaos.
Maria nodded, her face a mask of calm determination. “We need to get you to a safe place where we can explain everything.”
Natasha’s eyes never left yours, the vulnerability in your gaze breaking through the fear and confusion. “Please, Y/N. Trust me one last time. I promise I’ll explain everything, but we have to go now.”
Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at Natasha, the woman you loved and the woman you now realized you didn't fully know. The weight of the decision weighed on you, the urgency of the situation colliding with your need for answers.
"Okay," you finally whisper, your voice barely audible. "Okay, I'll go with you." Relief flooded Natasha's face, but she kept her composure, knowing they were far from safe. "Thank you," she said quietly. "We need to leave right now. Maria, can you get the car ready?"
Maria nodded and quickly walked to the door, yelling orders to the men outside. Natasha turned to you, her hand gently brushing your arm. "Stay close to me," she commanded in a firm but gentle voice. "I won't let anything happen to you."
You nodded dazedly and let Natasha lead you out of the apartment. The hallway was filled with Natasha's men, their faces grim and watchful. They formed a protective barrier around you as you made your way to the elevator, the tension in the air palpable.
The elevator ride down felt like an eternity, the silence heavy with unspoken fears and questions. You clung to Natasha's arm, your head reeling from the events that had unfolded so quickly. The woman you thought you knew was a stranger, her life a series of secrets and shadows.
When you reached the ground floor, Maria signaled for the car to be called. Natasha held you close, her eyes scanning the area for signs of danger. The car stopped and the men quickly ushered you inside, the doors closing with a reassuring thud.
Maria slid into the driver's seat and looked back at you. "We're going to a safe house," she said in a commanding tone. "When we get there, we'll explain everything."
You nodded, your hands shaking as she held onto Natasha. The car sped through the city streets, the lights blurring in a haze of confusion and fear. Natasha's arm wrapped around you, her presence a small comfort in the midst of the chaos.
"Y/N," Natasha said softly, her voice breaking the silence. "I know you're scared and confused. I promise I'll explain everything. But right now, I need you to trust me. Can you do that?"
You looked up at Natasha, your eyes searching for the truth in her gaze. "I'll try," you whispered.
The car drove through the night, a silent vessel carrying you away from the life you had known. Exhaustion, fear, and shock finally took their toll, and despite your best efforts, your eyelids grew heavy. Your body succumbed to overwhelming fatigue. Natasha held you close, murmuring quiet reassurances until you slipped into a restless sleep.
When you woke up, the world felt disorientingly different. You blinked, your eyes adjusting to the dim light filtering through the heavy curtains. You slowly sat up, the luxurious silk sheets and soft pillows around you an unfamiliar comfort. The room was large, elegantly decorated with expensive furniture and artwork that spoke of wealth and power.
A knot of fear tightened in your chest. Where am I? Your mind raced, you tried to piece together the fragments of your last coherent memories. The confrontation with Viktor, the horrific car ride, Natasha's grim determination.
The bedroom door creaked open and Natasha stepped in, her expression softening when she saw you awake. "Y/N," she began in a soft voice.
Your heart lurched, fear mingling with anger. You climbed back onto the bed, your eyes widening. "Stay away from me," you said, your voice shaking. "I want answers. Now."
Natasha paused, pain flickering in her eyes, but she nodded. "I understand," she said quietly. "You deserve the truth.." You clutched the sheets, your knuckles white. "Where are we? What kind of place is this?"
"We're in a safe house," Natasha explained, her tone calm but serious. "One of many I have for when things get dangerous. We're in Spain, far away from the immediate threat."
"S-Spain!?" you repeated, raising your voice. "You took me out of the country? Without asking me!?"
Natasha took a step closer, holding out her hands in a placating gesture. "I had to, Y/N. It wasn't safe for you in the city anymore. Dreykov and his people would have found us and especially you.."
Your eyes flashed with anger. "And whose fault is that? You lied to me about everything. I don't even know who you are."
Natasha winced, but nodded, accepting the accusation. "You're right. I lied to you. But please, let me explain." Your silence was your only response, your eyes demanding the truth.
Natasha took a deep breath, her expression determined. "I'm part of the mafia, Y/N. The Bratva, to be precise. I've been involved in this world for years, long before we met. My role is... significant. I run operations, deal with threats, and yes, sometimes that means doing terrible things."
The words hung heavy in the air, the reality of Natasha's confession crashing down on you. "The Bratva?" you whispered, your voice barely audible. "I wrote about them. About you, without knowing it.."
Natasha's eyes softened. "I know. I read your articles." Tears filled your eyes, your world fell apart. "So it was all a lie? Our relationship, your love for me?"
"No!" Natasha said urgently, stepping closer. "That was real. Everything I felt for you, everything we shared was real. But I had to keep my other life a secret to protect you."
"Protect me?" you scoffed, the betrayal cutting deep. "You put me in more danger than I could have ever imagined!" Natasha's face twisted in pain. "I know. And I'm so sorry, Y/N. I never wanted this. But I couldn't shirk my responsibility. Not without putting us both in even greater danger."
You shook your head, tears flowing over. "And Maria? She said she was a police officer. Is that at least true??" Natasha hesitated, then shook her head. "Maria is one of my most trusted allies. She's not a cop. She's part of the organization, someone I trust with my life."
Your heart broke again. "So another lie..."
"I didn't want it to be like this," Natasha said desperately. "I wanted to protect you, give you a normal life. But the world I live in... doesn't allow that."
Your voice trembled with anger and sadness. "I want to go home, Natasha. I want my life back." Natasha's expression turned sad. "You can't go back, Y/N. Not now. Dreykov's people will look for you. Staying here is the only way to pr-“
"I don't want your protection!" you say, your voice shaking. "I want my life back!" Natasha took a step closer, her eyes pleading. "Please, Y/N. I know you're scared and angry. But if you leave now, you'll be in even more danger. Give me time to fix this."
Your shoulders slumped, the weight of your emotions crushing you. "I don't know if I can trust you anymore, Natasha." Natasha's eyes filled with unshed tears. "I understand. But I promise you, I will do everything in my power to make this right."
As the night wore on, you lay in the unfamiliar bed, your mind raging with a storm of confusion, fear, and grief. The life you had known was shattered, and the future was a terrifying unknown. Yet despite the pain, there was a glimmer of hope, a weak, fragile thread of trust that Natasha desperately tried to hold onto.
In the silent darkness, you made a promise to yourself. You would find a way to get through this, to reclaim your life, and to understand the truth about the woman you loved. No matter how dangerous the path ahead, you would face him head on, with or without Natasha.
The morning light filtered through the heavy curtains, casting a soft glow on the luxurious bedroom. You stirred, the events of the previous night coming back to you as you blinked awake. The room, with its opulent furnishings and unfamiliar comfort, felt like a gilded cage.
The door opened and Natasha entered, her face a mixture of relief and concern when she saw Y/N awake. "How are you feeling?" she asked quietly.
Your heart clenched, a whirlwind of emotions overwhelming you "I don't know," you admitted, your voice strained. "I still don't know if I can forgive you...You kill for a living Natasha...You have blood on your hands from what? How many?"
Natasha nodded, her expression pained. "I understand. But I'm here to answer all of your questions. I want to fix this as best I can.”
You look away, your mind racing. “I want to talk to Maria, if that is her real name,” you said firmly. “I want to hear her side of the story.”
Natasha hesitated, but then nodded. “Okay. I’ll bring her here.” A few moments later, Maria entered the room, her expression calm but serious. “Y/N,” she greeted in a respectful tone.
Your eyes narrowed, your trust shaken. “You lied to me too,” you accused. “You said you were from the police, for what?” Maria’s face softened with regret. “I’m sorry. We had to get out of this place as soon as possible. And yes, I’m not a police officer. I work with Natasha and my job is to ensure her safety and therefore yours too.”
Your anger flared. “How can I believe anything you say now?? How do I know you’re not just manipulating me?” Maria took a deep breath, her eyes serious. "You don't have to trust me, Y/N. But know that your safety is my priority. Natasha loves you and I respect that. I'm here to help you in any way I can."
You shook your head, the weight of betrayal weighing heavily on your heart. "I want to go home," you repeated firmly. "I don't want to stay here."
Natasha stepped forward, her eyes pleading. "Y/N, please.." You looked at Natasha, the pain of betrayal mixed with the remnants of love and trust. "I need time to think," you said quietly. "I need to figure everything out."
The days blurred into one another, each one feeling like an eternity as you mastered your new life on the sprawling estate. The house was a testament to opulence, each room carefully decorated with priceless art, luxurious furniture and cutting-edge technology. It was a palace compared to her humble abode, but the splendor did not ease the pain in your heart.
Every morning you wake up in the enormous bedroom, the bed too big and too empty. The silence was oppressive, only broken by the occasional rustle of curtains in the wind or the distant hum of the house staff's activity. Natasha had taken your words to heart, keeping a respectful distance and giving you the space you had asked for.
Despite the apparent freedom to explore the property, you were never truly alone. No matter where you went - the lavish living room with its panoramic views, the quiet library filled with rare books or the immaculate gardens filled with vibrant flowers - Natasha's men were always there. They followed you in silence, their presence a constant reminder of your gilded imprisonment.
One afternoon, the frustration and helplessness boiled over. You stood in the middle of the large foyer, your voice echoing through the vast space as you shouted at the men following you. "If you follow me for another second!! Get out of here!"
The men remained stoic, their expressions unchanged, their eyes fixed forward. Their training was impeccable, a testament to Natasha's influence. They didn't even flinch when your anger flared, their silence only heightening your sense of isolation.
"Do you hear me?" you shouted, your voice breaking with agitation. "I said leave me alone!" Still, there was no response. The men stood like statues, unwavering in their duty.
In desperation, you retreated to the garden, seeking solace among the blooming flowers and carefully tended hedges. You sat on a bench, burying your face in your hands, tears streaming down your cheeks. The beauty around you was lost in the storm of your emotions.
As the days went by, you tried to find some semblance of normalcy. You spent hours in the library, losing yourself in books, hoping to escape the reality of your situation. You explored the many rooms of the estate, marveling at the luxury but feeling a pang of resentment at the life you had to leave behind.
Meals were a solitary affair, served in the large dining room by the staff. The food was exquisite, prepared by a chef whose skills surpassed anything you had ever experienced. Yet every bite tasted bitter, a reminder of the freedom you had lost.
Every night, as you lay in the enormous bed, your thoughts inevitably turned to Natasha. Despite the betrayal, you couldn't deny the love you still felt. It was a confusing tangle of emotions—love, anger, fear, and a longing for the truth.
One night, after another day of wandering alone and keeping silent vigil, you happened to find Natasha in the living room. The sight of her stirred something deep inside you - a mixture of longing and anger.
"Natasha," you said, your voice shaking. "Why are you doing this? Why can't you just let me go?"
Natasha looked up, her eyes filled with a sadness that matched yours. "I'm doing this to protect you, Y/N. How many times..! I know it doesn't look like it, but I'm trying-“
"Protect.." you scoffed, tears welling up in your eyes. "I don't feel safe. I feel like a prisoner." Natasha stepped closer, but you raised a hand and stopped her. "You said you wanted space, and I tried to give you that," Natasha said quietly. "But I can't leave you unprotected. The danger is still out there.”
Your heart ached under the weight of Natasha's words. Despite the anger and betrayal, you could see the genuine fear and worry in Natasha's eyes. “I don't know what to feel anymore,” you admitted, your voice breaking. “I love you, but I hate what you did and what you still do.”
“I know,” Natasha whispered, tears glistening in her eyes. “And I'm so sorry for everything. But I promise you, I'll do whatever it takes to make it right.”
As you left, you still felt a spark of hope—a faint, fragile thread that maybe, just maybe, you could find a way through this together. But now you had to navigate the maze of your emotions to find your own way in this new, uncertain world.
As days turned into weeks, your emotions shifted from confusion and sadness to burning anger. The more you saw of Natasha's world, the deeper your resentment grew. You overheard snippets of conversation, saw deals being made, and witnessed the machinations of a life based on power and deceit.
One evening, as you walked through the halls, you overheard a conversation that drove you mad. Two of Natasha's men were talking in low, conspiratorial tones.
"Remember the old days?" one of them said, his voice dripping with nostalgia. "When the boss had a different girl every week? It was a constant party..”
The other man laughed. “Oh man..that was pure cinema.. But it seems like things have changed. She is pretty attached to this girl now..Don't know what she gets from her- Well..I do know actually..She’s hot..”
Your heart clenched as you took the implication. So Natasha had used countless women before you and treated them like disposable toys..
If Natasha thought she could keep you under control, she would learn a very painful lesson. So you decided to turn the tables and play your own game. You would use Natasha's own methods against her and undermine her composure until she broke.
The next day, you dressed carefully, choosing an outfit that was both elegant and provocatively seductive. As you walked through the mansion, you made sure Natasha's men could see you. You smiled at them, your eyes lingering a little too long, your touch a little too familiar.
In the kitchen, you found yourself next to one of the guards, a tall, gruff man with a rough side. You leaned close to him, your voice soft and seductive. "Could you help me with something?" you asked, brushing your hand against his arm.
The man stiffened, visibly uncomfortable but unable to resist your charms. "Of course, miss," he replied, his voice strained. You smiled, a devilish glint in your eyes. "Thank you," you purred, letting your hand linger a moment longer than necessary.
Natasha entered the room just as you were laughing at something the guard had said. Her eyes narrowed, a hint of anger crossing her face. You met her gaze, your smile becoming cold and triumphant.
As the days went by, you upped your game. You flirted shamelessly with the guards, your laughter and touches becoming more and more obvious. You dodged Natasha's attempts at conversation, fending off her touches with cold indifference.
One evening, Natasha found you in the living room, your hand resting on a guard's arm as you laughed at something he had said. The guard looked uncomfortable, his eyes darting nervously to Natasha and he took a step back fearfully, "R-Romanoff, I-"
"Y/N," Natasha said, your voice strained with barely controlled anger. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
You turned around, your smile icy. Natasha waited until you were alone before she spoke, her eyes flashing. "What do you think you're doing?" she demanded, her voice deep and dangerous.
You crossed your arms and met Natasha's gaze with a defiant look. "What do you think I'm doing? I'm just having a little fun. Or is that not allowed in your world?"
Natasha took a step closer, her anger palpable. "You're playing a dangerous game, Y/N." You laughed, your voice bitter. "A dangerous game? Like the one you played with all the other girls? Or am I just another toy for you, Natasha?"
Natasha flinched, the accusation hitting home. "You're not a toy for me, Y/N. I love-"
"Love?" you scoffed, "Is that what you call it? Keeping me locked up, surrounded by your men, while you go about your dirty business?" Natasha clenched her fists, her control slipping away. "You're here because it's the only way to keep you safe! When will you finally understand that!"
"THATS not true!!“ you shouted back, your anger boiling over. "I don't feel safe, Natasha. I feel like a prisoner. A prisoner in your twisted game!!" Natasha's eyes darkened, her composure finally breaking. "You have no idea what I've sacrificed for you," she growled. "What I've done to get you here.“
You stepped closer, your voice cold and venomous. "And I never asked for it. All I wanted was the truth. But you couldn't even give me that." Natasha's breath came in ragged gasps, her anger barely contained. "You're pushing me, Y/N," she warned, her voice a dangerous whisper.
You grinned, the excitement of rebellion sparkling in your eyes. "Maybe it's time someone hit back." The tension between you crackled, an explosive mix of anger, betrayal, and unresolved desire. Natasha took a step forward, her eyes locked on yours, her control hanging by a thread.
But before anything could happen, Maria stormed into the room with a grim expression. "We have a problem," she said in an urgent voice.
Natasha turned, her anger now ricocheting onto Maria as well. "What!?" Maria looked at you, her eyes filled with a mixture of compassion and concern. "It's dreykov."
Natasha's face hardened, her anger replaced by cold determination. She turned to you, her eyes burning with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. "This isn't over," she said in a low, dangerous voice.
You returned her gaze, her own anger simmering. "No, it's not." As they prepared to leave, the tension between you remained, a simmering conflict that threatened to erupt at any moment. The game you were playing was dangerous and successful. But amidst your anger and betrayal, a spark of something deeper remained - a twisted, complicated love that refused to be extinguished.
As the tension between you and Natasha reached its boiling point, you still knew no bounds. You pushed every button, testing Natasha's patience with reckless abandon. But there was a line, a boundary that should never be crossed, and you were about to experience the consequences of your relentless rebellion.
In the dimly lit hallway, you walked ahead of Natasha, your footsteps echoing off the polished marble floors. You ignored Natasha's warnings, your anger driving her forward with reckless abandon. But Natasha was not to be trifled with, especially when her authority was challenged.
As you passed another security guard and whispered something in his ear, Natasha grabbed the man close in one swift movement. His eyes widened in surprise and fear.
Before you could speak, Natasha spoke, her voice low and deadly calm. "Look at him, Y/N," Natasha commanded, her grip on the guard tightening. "This man is loyal to me. He would do anything I command him to do, to serve me. And you, you dare to flirt with him, to play with his loyalty?"
Your heart pounded in your chest, fear and shame coursing through your veins. Maybe you had pushed Natasha a little too far..
Natasha turned to the guard, her voice a chilling whisper. "Do you know how lucky you are to still be breathing?" she asked, boring into his eyes. The guard's throat worked as he swallowed nervously. "Yes, boss," he managed, his voice barely above a whisper.
Natasha let go of the guard, but her eyes didn't leave yours. "Remember this moment, Y/N," she said in a warning voice. "Remember who's in charge here. And remember what happens to those who dare to challenge me."
As Natasha tightened her grip on the guard, a rush of adrenaline shot through your veins, your heart pounding with fear and elation. Yet as the guard's submissive behavior unfolded before them, you expected Natasha to further establish her dominance to quell the rising tide of arousal within you. Natasha's response, however, was unexpectedly passive.
Your breath caught in your throat as you watched Natasha's calculated restraint, her eyes gleaming with cold, calculated intensity. The guard's submissive behavior only increased the tension in the air, leaving you feeling oddly exposed and vulnerable.
In that moment, as Natasha's voice echoed with a quiet threat, you felt a shiver of excitement run down your spine. But instead of fulfilling your expectations, Natasha remained distant, her expression unreadable.
With every step Natasha took toward you, you felt the pull of Natasha's dominance grow stronger, drawing you deeper into a world of dark desires and forbidden thrills. But Natasha's refusal to surrender to their shared arousal left you feeling unsteady, your longing for release colliding with your resentment toward Natasha's control.
And as Natasha walked past you, you knew you were standing on the edge of an abyss, your heart torn between the safety of the familiar and the tantalizing pull of the unknown.
Days later, you approach Natasha with a firm but polite voice. "I want to go out today." Natasha's eyes narrowed, suspicion immediately rising within her. "Going out? Where exactly?"
"Shopping," you answered, a hint of defiance in your tone. "I need new clothes, I didn't have time to pack my things."
Natasha shook her head. "No." You opened your mouth to argue, but Maria, who had been silently watching the exchange, stepped forward. "Natasha, maybe it's not such a bad idea."
Natasha gave Maria a warning look. "Excuse me?" Maria insisted. "Y/N needs to have a sense of freedom. Keeping her locked up here will only make things worse. We can make arrangements. I'll go with some of the men. It will be safe."
Natasha gritted her teeth, clearly torn between her protective instincts and Maria's reasoning. She shot you a look that hadn't faded from her defiant expression. Finally, she sighed. "Fine. But there will be conditions.”
“Of course there are,” you murmured quietly, although a spark of satisfaction shone in your eyes. “You will not walk around alone for a single second. I will be behind you at all times,” Natasha continued, her tone leaving no room for argument. “And you will always remain within sight. Understood?”
“Understood,” you agreed, your head already thinking about how you could use this trip to your advantage.
A short time later, you were ready to leave. Natasha had chosen a handful of her most trusted men to accompany her. The convoy of elegant black cars drove through the city, attracting curious glances from passersby.
When you arrived at an upscale shopping district, you wasted no time putting your plan into action. You entered the most expensive boutiques and chose one item after another with almost reckless devotion. Dresses, shoes, jewelry - nothing was forbidden to you.
Natasha lagged behind you, her expression a mask of icy self-control as her men carried the growing mountain of purchases. You took particular pleasure in handing heavy bags to Natasha, which she accepted with a stoic expression, her eyes never leaving yours.
Despite your anger and resentment, you couldn't help but feel a thrill at the sight of Natasha with her purchases. It was a small victory, a way to gain some control in a situation where you often felt powerless.
As the shopping spree continued, you decided to up your game. You had noticed the subtle tension in Natasha's demeanor and the fear in her men's eyes when she got too close. It was time to tighten the thumbscrews even more.
After hours of shopping in high-end boutiques, you led the group to a discreet, upscale lingerie store tucked away on a side street. Natasha's eyes narrowed as she read the shop sign, but she didn't object, just following you inside, her men and Maria behind her.
You browsed the shop with deliberate slowness, your fingers running over delicate lace and silk. She selected a series of slinky outfits, your expression one of concentrated contemplation as you walked to the dressing rooms.
Natasha stood at the entrance, her arms crossed and her face a mask of controlled impatience. Her men, however, looked decidedly uncomfortable, their eyes fixed firmly on the floor.
You tried on the outfits one by one, each more revealing than the last. After putting on the first set - a sheer black lace teddy - you left the dressing room and went straight to the large mirror in the middle of the shop.
You pretended to inspect the outfit, turning this way and that, making sure to give Natasha's men a look. The guards, visibly nervous, looked away, aware of the danger of looking at their boss's girl.
Maria, who was standing nearby, must have noticed your plan and had to suppress a laugh. She covered her mouth, her eyes sparkling with amusement.
You caught Maria's gaze in the mirror and grinned before looking at Natasha. The mafia boss's expression was a textbook example of barely contained anger. Her jaw was clenched and her eyes flashed with dark intensity.
"What does it look like?" you asked in a sweet and innocent voice as you turned to Natasha.
Natasha's eyes studied you, the heat in her gaze unmistakable. "You know exactly what it looks like," she replied in a low and dangerous voice.
Undeterred, you returned to the dressing room and came out a few minutes later in a barely visible red satin babydoll. You repeated the image, turning slowly in front of the mirror, making sure every angle was visible to Natasha's men, who were becoming visibly more uncomfortable by the second.
One of the guards, a young man with a nervous twitch, glanced up briefly, only to catch Natasha's murderous gaze. He quickly looked away, beads of sweat forming on his forehead.
"Maybe this one?" you wondered aloud, your eyes sparkling mischievously as she turned to Maria. "What do you think?"
Maria nodded, fighting to keep her composure. "It's... quite something," she managed, her lips twitching with suppressed laughter.
After a few more outfits - each more scandalous than the last - you decided you had made your point. You gathered your selection and walked to the counter. Natasha's men were visibly relieved to see the end of your ordeal.
Natasha approached you, her expression a mix of frustration and something darker, more primal. "Satisfied?" she asked with a low growl.
You looked up at her, feigning innocence. "Almost," you replied in a defiant tone. You led the group into a side street where a group of homeless people huddled together, their eyes tired and hopeless. Your heart softened at the sight and you felt a twinge of guilt for your previous pettiness.
With a determined look in your eyes, you began to hand out the expensive clothes and accessories to those in need, ignoring the confused expressions of Natasha and her men. The recipients accepted the gifts gratefully and incredulously, their faces beaming with joy.
Natasha watched in silence, her eyes narrowing as she tried to understand your motives. When you had almost given away the last of your purchases, you turned to Natasha, a hint of defiance still burning in her eyes.
"Money can't buy everything," you said quietly, your voice shaking with a mixture of anger and conviction. "And it certainly can't buy my forgiveness."
Natasha took a step closer, her expression unreadable. "You think that makes up for challenging me? For risking your safety?"
You lifted your chin and met Natasha's gaze directly. "I think it shows that I'm not just a pawn in your game. I'm my own person and I won't let fear control me."
For a moment, the two women stood in a tense standoff, the air filled with unspoken emotions. Then, to your surprise, Natasha's expression softened ever so slightly.
"Let's go home," Natasha said quietly, turning to lead the way back to the cars.
After you all arrived, Natasha asked you to follow her. You paused and followed her to a room where a bench stood in front of a bed.
The room was dimly lit, shadows dancing on the walls, adding to the tension in the air. "Sit down," Natasha ordered, pointing to the chair next to the bed.
You obeyed, your mind racing with a mixture of defiance and questioning. You tried to appear casual, but the intensity of Natasha's gaze made your heart beat faster. Natasha leaned forward, her eyes boring into yours. "What was all this about today?" she asked in a deceptively calm voice. "You parade around in those outfits and make my men stare at you?"
You crossed your arms and tried to keep your composure. "I wanted to have a little fun," you answered, a hint of defiance in your voice. "I wanted to show you that I'm in control now."
Natasha's eyes narrowed, a dangerous glint flickering in their depths. "Did you like it?" she asked quietly, her voice menacing.
"Did you like them watching you?" You grinned with a mischievous glint in your eyes. "Yes, I did. It felt good to turn the tables for once."
In an instant, Natasha was up from the bed and standing in front of you, her expression a mixture of anger and something darker, more primal. She grabbed your arm, pulled you up, and dragged you to the bed.
"You think you're in control?" Natasha hissed, her voice deep and threatening. "Let me show you what real control looks like."
Before you could protest, Natasha tied your limbs to the bedposts, the restraints cutting into your skin. "W-What are you doing?!" Your heart raced, a mixture of fear and excitement coursing through your veins.
Natasha stepped back, never taking her eyes off you. She clapped her hands and the door opened, revealing two women entering the room with hesitant steps.
Your eyes widened in shock and confusion as Natasha led the women to the edge of the bed. "Watch." Natasha ordered you, her voice cold and commanding.
The women sensed the gravity of the situation and began to undress each other, their movements slow and deliberate. Your breath caught, your emotions a chaotic storm of jealousy, arousal and helplessness.
Natasha leaned close to you, her breath hot in your ear. "This is control," she murmured, her voice dripping with seduction. "See how they obey? How they submit to my will?"
Your body tensed, your mind reeling. You tugged at the bonds, your need for release growing more desperate by the second. The sight of the two women pleasuring each other, their moans filling the room, was unbearable.
Natasha's hand caressed your cheek, her touch soothing and electrifying at the same time. "That could be you.." she whispered, her lips brushing your ear. "You could be the one I touch, the one I satisfy. But you have to understand your place."
Your eyes met Natasha's, your gaze defiant "No," you spat, fighting against the restraints. "I won't beg for you if that's what you want to achieve."
Natasha's smile grew wider, darker. "Oh. Detka, We'll see about that," she said quietly. She stepped back and handed one of the women a vibrator, then nodded at you. The woman approached, her eyes filled with curiosity and fear.
"Show her," Natasha ordered.
The woman turned on the vibrator and began to use it on herself, her moans growing louder as she neared climax. Your eyes widened, your own body reacting involuntarily to the display of raw, unfiltered pleasure before you. You tugged harder at the restraints, your resolve wavering.
"Do you still think you're in control?" Natasha asked, her voice as soft as velvet. "Look at her, Y/N. Look at how easily she submits."
Your breath came in short, ragged gasps. You tried to look away, but Natasha's hand grabbed your chin, forcing you to watch. The other woman joined in, their bodies writhing together, the sounds of their pleasure filling the room.
Natasha's lips touched your ear. "You want this, don't you? You want me to touch you, to make you feel this good."
You bit your lip, refusing to give in. You could feel your body shaking with desire, your core aching for release. But you wouldn't beg. You wouldn't give Natasha that satisfaction.
Natasha's hand slid down your stomach, stopping just short of where you most wanted to be touched. "All you have to do is beg," she whispered. "Beg for it, Y/N. Tell me you want it."
Your pride fought with your overwhelming desire. You clenched your fists, your nails digging into your palms as you fought to maintain your defiance. But the sight of the two women lost in ecstasy was too much. Your body betrayed you, arching towards Natasha's touch.
Natasha grinned, her fingers brushing your inner thigh. "Just say it," she purred. "Admit you need me."
Your resolve crumbled, your voice breaking as you whispered, "P-Please..."
Natasha's eyes gleamed triumphantly. "Louder," she commanded, her fingers moving closer.
"Please!" you repeated, your voice stronger now.
"Touch me, Natasha." Natasha's smile was cruel and victorious. "Good girl," she murmured and pulled her hands away. She untied your bonds and you looked at her in confusion. Then she ordered the girls to leave and looked at you again, "Good night, Y/n. See you tomorrow."
And left the room.
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🏷️ TAGLIST
@kipitou @thalia-is-not-ok @queen2234 @sgm616 @dorabledewdroop @natsxwife @natashaswife4125 @loneliestafterparty @jenniferjareauwife @maggieromanov @doveromanoff @agent99galanzo
#natasha x reader#natasha smut#natasha romanoff#dom!natasha x reader#natasha romanov x reader#nat x reader#natasha romanov smut#natasha romonova#the avengers#natasha
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could you maybe write something about abby comforting reader because she has past trauma from being in a toxic relationship?
kind of like reader does something wrong and freaks out but abby like helps her?
of course baby! hope you enjoy ♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧
warnings - talks of past toxic relationship, dark inner thoughts
authors note - my messages are always open for all of you, no matter what.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
the rejuvenating breeze whisks through the french doors that enter out to abby’s backyard. it’s been a quiet day, abby needing to go to a work meeting early in the morning, so you decided to help out and do some chores to surprise her when she arrived back home.
humming along to the taylor swift song soaring over the radio, you pluck out the sheets you just washed, going to throw them straight into the dryer before noticing the pinkish hue plaguing the typically bright white fabric.
darkness washes over your once bright demeanor, knowing that abby spent a good amount of money on those nice sheets with the high thread count. you rummage through the washer, fishing out your bright pink shorts you thought you threw in with the last load.
stupid bitch. this is all your fault. you deserve this.
the sound of the garage door opening, and abby’s keys jingling in the door makes your stomach turn.
“hey babe, brought you a coffee!” abby hums, turning the corner into the laundry room where you’re hyperventilating over the open washer. the dizzying weight of what you just inflicted crushing you.
“hey hey hey,” she coos, setting your coffee down on the ironing board, engulfing you in her endlessly broad arms. “tell me what happened.” the blonde girl insists, wiping a stray tear from your eye.
“n-no…no!.” you sob, mascara stained tears dripping onto abby’s luckily dark button up.
“okay, okay….” she replies, smoothing down your hair and lifting you up to sit on the washer. “can you breathe with me? that’s it, good job.”
abby knew about your last relationship well. she figured it out pretty quickly after you cried the whole night over dropping a glass one of the first times you slept over. but abby’s abby, and she would go to the ends of the earth for you. so that next morning she spent on youtube watching other women who recovered from toxic relationships, trying her best to understand where your nightmarish thoughts come from, and how she can assist in handling them. she knows the ins and outs, and always insists on doting over you, even when you express that you feel like a burden.
“deep breath in for four…i know, hold it for four…out for four…hold it for four. can we repeat that?”
you nod, pressing your forehead to abby’s, connecting your breath.
“m-m’ sorry abby…..i-i just wanted to help,” you pant out, “and wash your sheets but i’m stupid and- and i stained them pink.”
you wince, preparing for the worst reaction possible.
but it’s abby.
running a calloused hand over the stained sheets, she starts giggling.
“well, pink is your favorite color isn’t it love? now i’ve got a piece of you in my room.” she affirms, swiping a stray tear from your eye. “and you’re not stupid at all. it was an honest mistake baby and besides, they’re just sheets.”
“y-you’re not mad?”
“wouldn’t dare to think it.” abby reassures.
all that tortured your spirit mere moments ago immediately melted away into abby’s honey sweet manner. “c’mon, i brought you some coffee from that new place that opened down the road, you wanna try it?” you nod, as abby helps you down, pulling you into her pine scented chest and pressing her lips tenderly to your hairline.
─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───
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WASHING MACHINE HEART | JACK HUGHES
fem!reader x jack hughes
summary: in which your entire heart was never enough for jack. (4.5k words)
author note: this is one of, if not my longest, writing pieces. it is very loosely based on washing machine heart by mitski. this took like two weeks to write and forgive me, i am NOT proofreading!! this is incredibly angsty so buckle up!
"jack?" your brows furrow, eyes squinting in confusion. "what are you doing here?"
he never showed up unannounced. did you miss his text or call? who are you kidding? you’d never dare to miss one of his calls.
you were in love with jack hughes. every single ounce of your body was drowning in your love for the brunette boy. you memorized every facial feature, mannerism, and breath he had. nothing about him went unnoticed to you.
if only he held mutual feelings. he loved you, he truly did. but not in the way you yearned; not in the way you craved. while your eyes followed him, it seemed like he followed every other girl.
you and jack met in the ninth grade. he was failing in every class possible (besides physical education) and you were excelling in every class possible (including physical education). in jack’s mind, he didn’t need school or an education. he was going to the nhl in a few years, so why did it matter if he was smart or not? the only iq that mattered on the ice was hockey iq.
the only problem was school rules and regulations. if he wanted to continue playing on the high school hockey team, he needed to step it up academically. with a stubborn attitude, he signed up for tutoring and was assigned you as his tutor.
you were roped into becoming a tutor by both your parents and your teachers. the school was running low on anyone willing to sign up for after—school tutoring, and you needed a little extra cash.
every tuesday and thursday, you went to jack’s house and studied with him for hours. however, as days passed into weeks, you began going over to his house every day. with his charming personality and your shyness, you quickly fell into the best kind of friendship. it only took two months before you fell in love with your best friend, and you’ve held those feelings for nine years.
"y/n, i’m sorry i didn’t call before," he apologized, his face flushed. "i have a problem," he huffed out, taking a seat on your couch.
"what are you talking about?" you scratch your neck in confusion. "and did you run here?"
when you and jack both moved to new jersey, it wasn’t a surprise when you moved into apartments within six minutes of each other.
"yes, i ran here," he answered. "but that doesn’t matter. i ran into lola at a coffee shop this morning.”
lola was jack’s most recent girlfriend. that was until she broke up with him because he wasn’t mature enough. he was heartbroken and devastated, and like the good friend you are, you held him during the hard nights as he cried and ranted about how he missed her. you ended up helping him move on after a month or two, but what made him stronger only destroyed you more.
you sighed, "jack, i don’t want to hear this—"
"no, i promise this is going somewhere," he interrupted. "i saw her and we began talking about my cousin, natalie’s wedding. she’s known natalie since high school and is attending the wedding. when she said that, i got nervous and said i was also going and i was bringing you as my date."
your heart plummeted. "what?!" your eyes widened and mouth hung open.
he squinted his eyes, lips pressed tightly together. “i’m sorry.” he said with doe eyes. he knew exactly how to make you fold. “you know how she is. she was all over me and acting flirty, like she wasn’t the one to break up with me. she thinks that i’m still not over her.”
“well, are you?”
“i think so.” his voice was unsure. “will you help me, please?”
“i don’t know—”
“before you say no, remember when i drove over here at 2am with ice cream?” he says.
your shoulders slouched. “yes,” your voice was quiet.
“remember how i said you owe me one?” you shook your head as you replayed the past interaction in your head. “well, consider this me officially cashing in my favor.”
you rested your head in your hands. “what does this entail?” you asked.
his eyes lit up like a child’s on christmas day. “you pretending to be my girlfriend for a day.”
you exhaled loudly. every bone in your body was saying— screaming— no. your brain knew it wasn’t a good idea. it would only draw you deeper into jack’s web when you were beginning to unravel from it. but your heart said otherwise.
“fine.” you said as you rubbed your temples.
jack shot to his feet with a bright smile on his mouth. “yes!” his voice was an octave higher. his arms wrapped around you in a warm embrace. your stiffened body molded around him.
“fuck, i love you so much for this.”
he doesn’t mean it in the way you want him to, but you’ve learned to ignore the twinge in your heart when he says those magic words.
you don’t realize how fast your heart is beating until he pulls away from the hug. your body aches for him as he removes his arms from around you.
“since, i’m already here movie night?” he asks, his brow quirking upwards.
a giggle escapes your slouched body. for the first time since he got there, you smile— genuinely. he seems to notice as well because he mirrors your features, allowing his tense shoulders to drop.
you nod, plopping down on your couch with him. you hand him the tv remote, allowing him to put on whatever action/mobster movie that he usually did. your head rests on jack’s shoulder, an intimate action that meant more to you than it did to him.
this is what you wanted. this is what you’ve wanted since ninth grade. you’re finally getting what you’ve wanted. does it matter if your relationship with him is real or not? the more you think, the bigger the pit in your stomach grows. you ignore all impending thoughts and enjoy the feeling of your head resting against the love of your life’s shoulder.
you fall asleep against jack, soft snores falling from your pouted lips. when you wake up, you’re tucked in your bed, your alarm clock reading 2:30am, and a note with jack’s sketchy handwriting on your bedside table. you smile, a content feeling masking your earlier anxieties before you fall back into a deep slumber.
~
after an hour of painstakingly going over wedding details and weaving elaborate fake relationship stories, a dull ache pulses behind your temples, and the confines of your clothes suddenly feel suffocating.
“are we done yet?” your voice was whiney as you dramatically sat back in your chair.
jack giggled. “who knew that relationship talk would bore you?” you rolled your eyes. “if my family wasn’t so nosey, this would be a walk in the park,” he begins, “but they are and that means we have to tie up every loose end before they ruin our entire plan.”
you groaned. “we have enough chemistry for them to believe it, jack.” you said pointedly, your leg bouncing up and down under his dining room table.
“i guess.” he shrugged a smirk on his face. “but what we have is platonic chemistry. we need romantic, honeymoon phase chemistry.”
your fingers picked at the skin around your painted nails. blood pooled in your cuticle but you paid no mind to it, subconsciously wiping it against the denim of your jeans.
every muscle in your body tensed. platonic chemistry— the only thing you and jack possess. the subtle comment twisted your stomach— the contents from the meal before threatening to spew out.
“i, uh, have to go to the bathroom.” you blurt out, quickly leaving the seat and entering into his bathroom.
his brows furrow at your abrupt exit. “ok…”
his bathroom was cold and plain. you stare at your reflection in the mirror as you swallow harshly.
why were you doing this? why put yourself through the emotional turmoil only for jack to pretend to be in love with you? were you this desperate?
you raked your brain for any coherent answer—one that you would never find.
turning on the faucet, the icy water coated your shaky hands. you splashed some water on your flushed face—good thing you wore waterproof mascara today. quickly, you patted yourself dry, hopefully appearing more relaxed than before.
as you walk back into his dining room, jack’s faint laughter fills the room. it bounces off of the walls in a symphony of beauty. you crave his laughter like a bee craves honey. jealousy courses through you as he isn’t laughing at your joke.
he sits at the table, his phone in hand as he types on his screen. his lips are pulled upwards into a boyish grin, a pink color coating the apples of his cheeks.
his gaze adverts from his phone to you as you awkwardly stand, almost as if you were waiting for his approval to sit. “sorry, it’s just lola.”
your shoulders slouch.
you’ve met lola before. she never seemed humorous to you. she couldn’t have possibly said something that funny that he’s laughing out loud.
then it all became clear. you were merely a scheme to get her back. he wasn’t over her— he never was.
“can i ask you something?” you said while sitting in the chair beside him.
“mhm.” his attention isn’t even focused on you. silently, you scoff.
“you know what, i’m just going to head home.” you said, your voice sharp. immediately, jack put down his phone.
his forehead was creased from the furrow of his brows. “are you ok?” he mirrored your actions, standing up alongside you.
you mumbled in response, collecting your things and heading towards his front door. his hand clasped against your wrist, halting your movement. you huffed, looking back at him.
“did i do something?”
“no, jack.”
“then why are you acting like this?”
“i didn’t sleep well last night. i just want to take a nap.” you said simply. his face contorted. you were never the best liar.
“worm,” the nickname rolls off of his tongue like silk, but pierces your skin like shattered glass. it was short for bookworm— something classmates would teasingly call you. you never liked it when people said it, not until jack did. “just tell me what’s wrong.”
“are you using me as a pawn to get lola?” his face paled as the words left your lips. his hands clasped into fists and he cleared his throat.
“no.” his eyes avoided yours. “why would you think that?” he asked.
“i just want to make sure that we’re still going to be friends after this.” you spoke. “after all, i don’t think lola’s going to want me to be close with you after this.”
“good thing we aren’t together anymore and it will stay like that.” he mustered up the fakest smile. “see you on saturday, yeah?”
you sighed, “yeah.”
~
kissing wasn’t something foreign to you. your first kiss was in tenth grade with jake hopkins. he had blue eyes, curly brunette hair, and a similar name to jack. your kiss with him was enough to distract you from jack’s newest conquest with gina— an eleventh grade blonde who resembled a real life angel. she was older, which jack didn’t always like, but he made an exception for her.
kissing was something you were used to doing. you hadn’t been in a lot of serious relationships, but you kissed people often. however, the thought that you and jack might kiss today made your stomach do a somersault. suddenly, you knew nothing about kissing. it was as foreign to you as an alien to earth.
swiping on the darker shade of lipstick, you hoped for a confidence boost. you don’t usually wear this lipstick shade. holly, your best friend and roommate, convinced you to buy the overpriced makeup a few weeks ago. she said it would make you look sexier, more mature. you wondered if jack would like this shade. lola often wore darker lipstick. it looked good on her plump lips, but maybe a little less once left on jack’s cheek. it always made you cringe when she would press her lips against his, leaving a smudged lip print. jack knew it was there and he didn’t mind. if wore it proudly like a badge of honor, not caring what teasing remarks his teammates would make.
“i can’t believe you’re doing this for him.” holly said. she was clad in your pajama bottoms and sweatshirt, sprawled out across your bed.
“well, he is my childhood best friend.” you reply as you grab towards your perfume, spraying it across your body. you stood up, looking at yourself in the full length mirror.
you wore a maroon, silk, maxi dress. it accentuated every curve on your body, fitting you like a glove. the deep colored dress was captivating with a slit going up your lower body, showcasing your legs.
holly mutters something incoherent under her breath— you can’t quite hear what she said, but you can only imagine.
“you look like a fucking goddess.” she stood next to you, holding your arm up and twirling you around. giggles escaped your lips. “i just wish you were going out with a guy who actually appreciated you. not one who used you like this.” the corners of her lips turned downwards into a frown.
you turn to respond to her, to defend jack, but as you do, the doorbell rings.
“that’s him.” you waste no time running towards the door and opening it for him. he wore a maroon tie that matched perfectly with yours, his hair touseled, and his face clean shaven.
“hi.” you smile, your eyes trailing up and down his body. he looked godlike. “you look great.”
“thank you.” his cheeks blushed red. “you look beautiful, worm. i mean it.”
your entire body felt warm. you hadn’t even touched him and yet sparks traveled through your body. he knew you were beautiful— he even thought it— but he still didn’t want you.
holly trailed behind you, watching the interaction from the kitchen. she shook her head before returning to her room.
“we should get going.” jack clears his throat.
"yeah, we should," you reply, trying to keep your voice steady despite the storm of emotions swirling within you.
jack leads you to his car, a black range rover that’s evident he takes proud in. he opens the passenger door for you, a small gesture that makes your heart flutter, and then quickly hops into the driver's seat. as he starts the engine, you can feel the tension in the air.
"so," jack begins, glancing over at you, "let's go over the details one more time."
you nod, pulling out your phone to check the notes you had made earlier. "okay, so we've been dating for six months. we’ve always had feelings for each other,, and it was kind of a whirlwind romance," you start, reading off the fabricated history you both had created.
jack smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "right, and we decided to keep it quiet because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it."
"exactly," you continue, "and we've spent a lot of time together, just not always in public. but your family knows me very well, so it shouldn't be too hard to convince them."
he nods, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. "and we're really happy together," he adds, his tone softening. "like, really happy."
your heart clenches at the sincerity in his voice. a part of you feels it’s real— though you know it's all part of the act. "yes," you agree, trying to keep your voice light. "happier than i've ever been."
jack glances over at you, a genuine smile spreading across his face. "you're a great actress, you know that?"
you laugh, a sound that feels both forced and genuine at the same time. "thanks."
in a way you were an actress— well, most of the time. in your everyday life with jack you played the part of a best friend who only held platonic feelings. you had mastered that part. here, now, however, there is no acting. you are entirely devoted to jack. anything you say, any touch you bestow, will be a look into your heart.
the rest of the drive, you both fall into a comfortable silence, each lost in your own thoughts. the gps guides you to a large, elegant house adorned with white ribbons and flower arrangements.
"we're here," jack says.
you take a deep breath, trying to calm the fluttering in your stomach. "okay, let's do this."
jack steps out of the car and quickly comes around to your side, opening the door and offering you his hand. you take it, your fingers curling around his as you step out of the car. his touch is warm and reassuring, and for a moment, you allow yourself to savor the feeling.
as you walk towards the entrance, jack squeezes your hand gently. "ready?"
you nod, your heart pounding in your chest. "ready."
the moment you step inside, you're greeted by a flurry of activity. guests are milling about, chatting and laughing, the air filled with the sounds of celebration. jack's family members quickly spot you and rush over, their faces lighting up with genuine happiness.
"jack! y/n!" ellen exclaims, pulling you both into a warm hug. "it's so good to see you two together!"
you smile, slipping into the role effortlessly. "it's great to see you too," you reply, squeezing her hand.
as more family members gather around, asking questions and showering you both with affection, you can feel jack's hand on the small of your back.
throughout the evening, you and jack move seamlessly through the crowd, sharing inside jokes, laughing at shared memories, and playing the part of the perfect couple. there are moments when you catch his gaze, and for a split second, you allow yourself to believe that maybe, just maybe, this could be more than just an act.
but then you see lola, standing across the room, her eyes locked on jack. her presence is a stark reminder of the reality of your situation. jack's smile falters for a moment when he sees her, and you can see the conflict in his eyes.
it’s not long before lola stalks over in your direction. she stands tall in a yellow maxi dress, matching with the rest of the bride's maids. the color makes her tan skin shine. she’s the epitome of sunshine.
she greets, “jack.” her gaze lingers on jack, the corners of her lips curving into a devilish smirk.
suddenly, he drops your hand. you suck in a sharp breath, looking down at his hand besides yours. his hand is flexed. you attempt to steady your breaths.
“hello, lola.” he replies. her name slides off his tongue so perfectly. he says it seductively and yearningly. his eyes brighten and cheeks gain more color. he stares at her like she hung the stars in the sky. “you remember y/n, don’t you?”
as he says your name, neither the glimmer in his eye or the blush on his cheeks intensify. it falls off his tongue in a casual way, with no clues or cliffhangers left behind.
she chuckles, the sound bouncing off of the walls and reaching your ears like both a blessing and a curse. “i remember her very well.” she doesn’t leave it there. “though, last time i saw her, she was your friend and i was your girlfriend. funny how the tables turn.”
as if on cue, both of your bodies stiffen, the action obvious enough for her to stifle out a laugh.
“calm down, i’m just joking.”
“it’s nice to see you again.” you say, ignoring the burning sensation in your stomach. she looks you up and down, a look of indifference placed on her perfect face.
it’s almost like she can read you. she looks so majestic, you wouldn’t put it past her to behold a supernatural ability.
“it’s a pleasure to see you always, y/n.” she grins. in the background, the dj changes the upbeat music to a slower, romantic song. the atmosphere around you shifts to the music. “slow dances are starting! i want to see you love birds on the dance floor.” her comment comes out snarky, but jack is too captivated by her to notice.
lola’s small figure disappears in the sea of people on the makeshift dance floor.
“wanna dance, worm?” jack asks with a sly grin. his hand picks up yours again.
“i thought you’d never offer.”
he tugs at your hand, pulling you towards an open spot on the dance floor. as you step onto the dance floor with jack, the soft melody of lover by taylor swift fills your ears. jack's hand feels warm and reassuring in yours, but as you glance up at him, you can't shake the thought of how he dropped your hand.
"this song... it reminds me of lola," jack murmurs, his voice tinged with a hint of sadness. “it’s stupid, but this song was playing when we met, so it’s always resonated with her.”
you nod, swallowing past the lump in your throat. "yeah, i can see why. it's a beautiful song," you reply, trying to mask the ache in your chest.
it was like the universe was playing a prank on you. lover was your song, not theirs. the second it was released you fell in love with it. it was the very song you listened to when you still had hopes of a relationship with jack.
as you dance, jack's gaze keeps drifting towards where lola dances. she sways back and forth with the groom’s best man. everytime she laughs, jack’s jaw clenches.
you try to push aside the rising tide of emotion, focusing instead on the feel of jack's arms around you and the gentle sway of your bodies. but with each passing moment, the resentment grows, threatening to consume you from within.
“jack, can you at least pretend you want to be here with me?” your voice was sharp.
pity spread on his face like a wildfire. “i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to-”
“it’s fine.” you mutter through your teeth.
he didn’t respond, although the dim glimmer in his eyes revealed his guilt.
from the outside looking in, this seemed like a romantic, loving dance between the perfect couple. but that couldn’t have been more wrong.
as the song comes to an end, you reluctantly pull away from jack, your eyes meeting his with a mixture of hurt and anger. "you lied to me, jack." you accuse, your voice barely above a whisper.
jack's expression softens, his eyes clouded with regret. "y/n, i'm sorry," he begins, but you cut him off with a shake of your head.
"i don't want to hear it," you say, your voice trembling with emotion. "i thought... i thought you cared about me. the only reason i’m here is to make her jealous.”
jack reaches out to touch your arm, but you pull away, your heart heavy with disappointment. "i know," he says softly, "and i'm sorry. i just... i can't help how i feel."
you take a step back, your eyes brimming with unshed tears. "i understand," you say, your voice barely a whisper. "but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.”
“you shouldn’t have fallen in love with me, y/n. we’re only friends.”
the words hit you hard because it’s the truth. you and jack are only friends.
with that, you turn and walk away. you hear jack yelling your name as he races after you, but you ignore it. you get as far as the parking lot before his hand clasps around yours, pulling you back into his chest.
“what do you want?” you shouted. “what do you want from me, jack?”
“i don’t know.” he admits.
“exactly.” you point your finger at him. “you don’t know what you want, so you play with my feelings; you manipulate me; you flirt with me, tell me you love me, but then somehow remind me that we’re only friends.”
he stands there, speechless and guilty. his gaze stays glued to the concrete.
you let out a sharp, bitter laugh, your eyes flashing with anger. “you’ve known this entire time that i love you, and you still invited me here.” your eyes are dark with rage. “you have known your motive since before we got here and completely disregarded how it would break me.”
“worm,” he softens his voice.
“don’t call me that.”
“c’mon, don’t be like this.” he says. his hand reaches out to intertwine with yours, but you pull away.
“jack, i would do anything for you unbiased to my feelings because i thought you cared.” your voice grows weaker. tears flood your eyes and stream down your face. “but now i’m seeing the real you and it fucking sucks.”
you step back from jack, tears streaming down your face, as he stands there speechless, his guilt palpable in the air. the weight of his actions hangs heavy between you.
"i hope you're happy now because you have finally pushed me away," you choke out, your voice trembling with emotion. “goodbye, jack.” with that, you turn and walk away, leaving jack standing in the parking lot, his mouth hanging agape.
as you make your way to the street, you pull out your phone and quickly hail an uber. the car arrives, and you climb in.
as the car pulls away from the curb, you can't help but feel a sense of relief wash over you. you did the unthinkable.
you untangled yourself from jack’s web.
#nora’s writings 💐#jack hughes#new jersey devils#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes blurb#jack hughes imagine#jack hughes imagines#nhl imagine
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It all fell Down.
Jason todd x reader
warnings: mentions of death, blood, sad jason. read at your own risk. Angst shit.
Notes: I cried writing this. good luck. and yes, I wrote a super cute smut a few hours ago and now this puddle of sadness. Maybe I should continue?
please comment.
"Stay with me, stay with me..." Jason's fingers passed over your face affectionately. Thick tears of fear left his face.
You were bleeding. Your wound was deep, a bullet hit you.
It was supposed to be the perfect day. Your wedding. Your white dress was now red across the entire length of your chest. Jason's white suit blouse was in the same situation.
You lost blood quickly.
"It's okay." Your voice was weak and you coughed. The bullet hole had pierced one of your lungs, making blood fill it.
"There's nothing okay. Just stay with me, okay?" Jason sobbed and held you tightly against him. "Don't leave me..."
"I won't. I'm with you, right there." You placed your hand on Jason’s heart. His voice was low. Your lips were turning purple. "Jay..."
"Don't talk, save your breath. Look at me, please" Jason had never cried so much in his life. "Where's the fucking help?!"
Jason shouted, his voice broken by crying. The entire Batfamily was trying hard to control the chaos that was happening. No one had understood where the attacks came from.
"Jay..." You called him again. his eyes were heavy. You knew you couldn't take it anymore. "I love you..."
"Don't! Don't say that!" Jason shook his head. Childish sobs left his lips. "Don't do this with me!"
"Kiss me..." your blood-stained hand went towards Jason's face.
Jason would deny it. But he couldn't. Inside him he knew his end was coming. He was just being selfish.
His lips kissed you with tenderness and pain. Fear. afraid to lose you
Your lips were cold. A heavy sigh left your lips. Your heart stopped.
A scream of pain left Jason's lips.
"No! No! NO!" Heavy tears were left, loud sobs and screams. "DONT LEAVE ME! No..."
Jason shook your freezing body.
"Wake up! come on! wake up!" Jason caressed your face "My love, my princess. Come on, you have to wake up. Let's get married."
Jason went into a state of delirium. He wouldn't accept it. No. The only one who loves him the way he is, the only one who wasn't afraid of him. You were just sleeping.
"You chose such a beautiful dress for me, huh?" Jason's voice was broken. The tears didn't stop falling. "I can't wait to fill our house with kids. We want three, remember?"
Bruce, Dick, Barbara, Tim and Damian had managed to stop the attack. They did not identify who sent the shooters. But that didn't matter now.
A tear left Barbara's eyes when she saw Jason kneeling on the floor with you in his arms.
Dick, Tim and Damian knelt in respect.
Little Damian let a few small tears fall. Tears that no one thought he would ever drop.
Bruce walked over to his son. He placed a hand on Jason's shoulder.
"Jason..." Jason ignored him and continued talking to you.
"Come on love, wake up. I promised to take you to London! We have to catch the plane in a few hours!"
"Jason." Bruce spoke more firmly.
"You're going to love Paris! You told me it was your dream to see that big tower! My French is terrible, by the way!"
"Jason!" It was Barbara's turn to call him.
Jason looked at her. Barbara shook her head.
Jason didn't want to believe it yet. He ignored her.
"Jason! She died!" Damian's voice was loud and tearful. Broken.
"No... not for me..."
For Jason it was just a nightmare that for him, he would wake up like every other time. But this time, it wasn't a dream.
you were gone. you died.
and Jason can't save you.
#jason todd#jason todd angst#jason todd x reader#jason todd headcanon#jason todd oneshot#red hood x reader#jason todd smut#red hood smut#jason todd robin#i just love jason#jasontodd#dark jason todd#jason peter todd#jason todd blurb
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✦ driver’s license | b.e
✦ warnings: angst, mentions of; addiction & relapse, !reader has a later on, and i think thats it!
✦ summary: you really mattered to her as much as she does to you? and if she did, why would she leave you like that?
"promise me that we will stick together no matter what happens, i don´t care about your addictions or problems, i want to be with you billie." you said looking deeply at billie´s light blue eyes, they would just drawn all your attention towards them.
"i promise you, ma chérie." she said staring at your face with an gentle smile while her hand stroked your cheek carefully, almost like she was scared to break you.
deep down, you knew it was a lie, but you wanted to believe her so bad. you needed to believe her, it was your only hope. but why you wanted billie to keep lying to your face? at least she would still be with you... right? why can´t you respect yourself even a little? why do you wish do much that she would text you on a random day?
you just couldn´t forget her, it felt so wrong, forgetting her was like ignoring a part of you. A part that you wouldn´t be able to erase, even if you wanted to. and god you were so fucking happy with her, did she even felt half of the things you felt around her? and if she did, how dare her leave you like that?
she just vanished away from your life after a relapse, you remember it all vividly. you were the one who found her, who took her to the hospital, who took her back home...you blamed yourself so much for those 2 hours that you went grocery shopping, all you remember was coming back home and not finding her there.
"i can´t do this anymore, not with you."
"you deserve better, someone who doesn´t makes you cry."
"don´t wait for me, please"
"you deserve to be happy, with someone healthy."
"i wish you the best, ma chérie."
you´d still remember soaking the letter she left behind with tears, why she couldn´t understand that you didn´t want someone "better" you wanted billie, her skin, her flesh, her bones, her soul. all about her was beautiful to you, every single part of her. but after seven years... you had to move on.
even if you didn´t want to.
other girl was in your arms now, and her big blue eyes would just remember you from billie. your little daughter was your whole world now, you moved to an bigger town, got an new job. but you didn´t felt capable of loving someone romantically, it just felt wrong.
"come on, its christmas, cher would like it too." your friend, lissie, was sittin on your dinner table, trying to convince you to take a walk in the city, your four-year-old daughter would just look at lissie and smirk, nodding her head.
"okay, but quick, i really need to sleep." you said giving in to them, they highfived happily as you giggled.
"seriously, lissie... you´re worse than cher." you said mocking her playfulness.
now, all three of you were bundled up with warm clothes, walking around an very crowded park. the lights were bright yellow, it just felt magical, being with your daughter and with your best friend who would drop anything to help you, no matter how important it was. you were scanning the crowd as your eyes meet with familiar ones.
you could recognize those eyes from a far, the only ones who could make you be drawn into them. it was like the whole world stopped in those seconds.
billie was there, but she wasn´t alone.
her eyes look at yours, for you, it seemed like she looked at you for decades, but it didn´t last even five seconds.
billie´s eyes returned to the blonde woman by her side, opening an wide gentle smile as her arm was crossing the woman´s neck and they walked away. she quickly goes out of your view... you suddenly feel something holding your leg.
"mommy?" your daughter´s big light blue eyes were looking up at you.
"lets go home, cherie."
I CRIED SO MUCH WRITING THIS OMFG
✦ taglist: @chrissv4mp @karaeilishh @iluvapplesxh @hkkuugu @camrenfavs
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an introduction | T.S
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or check out the series masterlist
summary ; you meet your husband to be for the first time.
warnings ; angst, dysfunctional family ig? , arranged marriage trope. bad writing?
a/n ; is it good? is it bad? is it too long? who knows. thank you for the support <3 please let me know what you think!
_
you hadn't left your room for the past three days. celest would be there , feeding you, holding you as you cried.
tonight though, you couldn't sleep because the sounds of your siblings yelling is keeping you away from the slumber you very much needed.
"you did what?"
oliver's brows furrow, his very pregnant wife , renee , sits beside him, her eyes open wide and a hand on her belly.
his mother tries to act like she didn't feel the guilt clawing at her heart , she sips her tea, "it's about time she got a husband."
"mum , what were you thinking? what has gotten into you?" his voice isn't loud, it isn't his usual roar, which is what concerned his wife. she puts a hand on his shoulder "you're forcing 'er to marry thomas shelby? are you fucking insane? have you lost your bloody mind?"
"im not forcing her to do anything, she agreed."
"after ya slapped 'er."
celest lets out a chocked sob at the mention of that
his mother's eyes are stern when they look up at him, resenting the fact that he brought it up
"she's a wild girl, she raised her voice at me"
"what did you expect 'er to do?" he got up, and his wife desperately tries to calm him down "lay on 'er back and open 'er legs?"
"to obey her mother."
"the mother that treated 'er own daughter like a piece of meat?" his jaw clenched, his hands shake "how could you do that? you didn't even tell us anything."
abraham is pacing around. his girlfriend ,anna stands in the doorway, watching this unfold. what else was she supposed to do?, its not like she can do anything. celest is sitting on a chair, her face buried in her hands as she cries. their father wasn't at home, he was out visiting his brother.
he's been avoiding this very incident like the plaque.
"when did this even 'appen?" abraham walks and stands next to oliver, both of them staring at their mother, his voice trembles as he tries to hold back whatever he had to say.
"why does it matter?" their mother slams the teacup on the table "it's already happened. what good is it going to do if we keep talking about it?"
"how long 'ave you been plottin' at this?" oliver's voice gets louder, his wife tries to get up but cant, abraham grabs his shoulder instead. "are you that desperate for money?"
"i did it-"
"for 'er ? securing 'er a future, yeah? is that what you tell yourself?" celest finally speaks, her face glistening with tears as she stands up
celest was always her mother's daughter. being the eldest, she always aimed to please her but when this happened, she couldn't even stand to look at her mother. she knew their mother was looking for a suitor ,she tried to reason with her, telling her how her younger sister would never agree, that she'll just yell and maybe even try to run away. celest never knew that the suitor her mother had in mind was thomas shelby, she never knew that he'd already agreed to all of this.
their mother's eyes move to celest, renee and anna share a look , and anna stands with her mouth covered. "this is not going to end well." ,they both think.
"what?"
"i said is that what you think you're doing? that you're doing whats best for 'er?" celest repeats "when you and i and everyone in this room knows who thomas shelby is, we know what he does, we know how he lives"
"he will take care of her." she raises her voice as well
"mother...." abraham warns, with his eyes closed. he knows the words she will say next would just anger everyone further
"i dont want her to end up like you! with a man that has you living in a piss poor excuse of a house, running after his spawn." her mother spits those words out like venom.
"i love 'im, i chose 'im, and i never ever regretted that decision, i never once complained,i never doubted his love or loyalty" celest walks closer "i will live a good life with a man who is good to me, an honest man. would she say the same about the husband you chose for 'er?"
"she will love him! she will grow to love him" she yells those words, as if she desperately wants them to be true.
celest lets out a chuckle , looking at her mother as if she was insane "do you not hear yourself? do you not hear how you sound?" then she moves even closer,"you're ruining 'er life!" celest cried, her screams sound through the whole house, abraham is now holding her back, as she squirms and thrashes "is this what you fucking want ? for your own child to live a miserable life?"
oliver left the living room at some point and he was inside your room now, somehow.
he crouched at the side of the bed, where you're laying on your stomach, cheek against the pillow and covers tucked up to your neck.
"i..." he tries to speak, he lets out a breath "i didn't know" he felt guilty for some reason, as if he could've stopped this.
"i know"
"you don't 'ave to say yes" he puts a hand on your head smoothing down your hair. oliver was never the one for affection, always awkward with it. "you don't. you can say no"
"i cant" you whisper back to him, your eyes look at him and they are once again filled with tears, your lips quiver
"yes you can"
"no i can't" you let out a sob "and you know that."
he just looks back at you, keeps on smoothing down your hair
"its not your responsibility to save them."
"it is now"
and he knew he couldn't change your mind, "she says he's comin' by tomorrow ,to see you."
silence ensues. you two just stare at each-other not knowing what to say
for the first time in his life, oliver the man with the biggest mouth, the loudest voice, the one who always fought you over that one spot on the table, doesn't know what to say. he has nothing to say.
he slowly gets up, and leaves the room, closing the door behind him gently.
and when that dreaded morning comes, you find yourself on your vanity chair, looking at your reflection in the mirror, your face still almost emotionless
celest stands behind you, brushing your hair,she's crying silently, and you just stare at the mirror
you knew that those steps belonged to your mother, you'd memorized how they sounded when you were a child , when you pretended to be asleep so she wouldn't know you'd stayed awake past your bedtime. she walks and stands next to celest, you don't look at her, you just stare at yourself.
celest puts the brush on the table and she walks away, she walks to the window, trying to calm down. your mother picks up the brush.
"i know you think im cruel, and that i'm selfish. but i did it for your sake." she speaks
this is the first time you'd even seen her since it all happened
your eyes dart up to her, she doesn't look at you, she just looks down at your hair as she brushes it.
"when your father got sick, i never thought we'd lose the farm too, we lost the very thing that gave us most of our money." she pauses for a second "i know this isnt how you wanted to get married, it was not an easy decision for me either"
"i don't love 'im" your voice is soft, its not angry
"love isn't everything, you don't need it to be content" she continues "i didn't love your father when i married him , but love follows"
"he is nothing like my dad"
your mother stops again "he's a hardworking man, he was in the war , wasn't he? just like yer father."
"my father was a farmer," she muttered "that's what you loved about 'im, what you've come to love. that he is a good man but the man you're marrying me off to isn't"
you sound like celest.
your words cut deeper than you thought they would, your mothers eyes close, she sighs "you're my youngest child and i want you to live a good life when me and your father are no longer here .a safe life. i dont want you to need a roof over your head or worry about money or food"
you don't want to argue , so you don't. you just let her brush your hair and neatly style it. she brings a box and opens it, inside it a golden necklace with a ruby as a pendant, she puts it on you, she smiles at your reflection
"i wore it when i married your father", maybe it will bless your marriage too, your mother thinks to herself.
you don't say anything, you just do what you're told. you were too tired to fight this anyways. you just wanted this day to pass
and then you hear it, your brother's voice as he greets him, despite his anger your oliver sounds polite. their voices are muffled but you hear them.
you mother walks you down the stairs and when you descend you see him, on the green sofa , talking to your father and your brothers and as if he could sense your presence his eyes dart up the stairs and he sees you.
you feel as if the whole house ran out of air, and as if your lung collapsed. you look back at him nonetheless as you walk down the stairs.
it feels as if their voices are distant as your family greets him, very welcoming and warm they sound but you can't process a word. you just look at him. you think you mumbled a greeting too, you're not sure.
he got up when you entered the living room, he looks you up and down but only for an instant and then his eyes go back to yours. you cannot see any emotion on his face.
you sister stands at your side, renee on the other, they sit with you between them on the couch facing him, the rest of your family scattered around the room but you didn't look at them, too busy looking at the man you'll marry. it's almost as if you can visibly see the blood on his hands.
but when he speaks , you snap back into reality out of your trance
"its a pleasure to finally meet you."
his voice is deep, calm and collected. for some reason it sends a chill down your spine
"the pleasure is mine" you say back, as politely as you could.
slowly, person by person, your family leaves the room
you glance at the window, your brothers and father are outside smoking, pretending to not watch. celest, renee and anna are under the foyer.
your mother and mrs gray are in the kitchen, having tea, when did she come in here?, you didn't even notice her.
you lean back against the sofa, you stare at him just like he stares at you
"mind if i smoke?" he already has his cigarette between his lips , he pulls out his lighter
"no" you say curtly , you sit on the sofa in the most expensive dress you own, your newest heels,
he offers you a cigarette, you eye it. you hadn't smoked since your parents caught you smoking on the roof but they've disappointed you, so what if you disappoint them one more time
you pull a cigarette out, he passes you the light and you light it, then putting it out
he leans back as well, crossing his legs
"are you good with children? can you care for them?"
you nod, your cigarette hangs between your fingers"i 'ave one nephew and 4 nieces, one on the way too"
"i 'ave a boy"
his eyes give nothing away no matter how long you stared at him , looking for a crack in the mask
"what's his name?" you ask softly
"charles"
"how old is he?"
"four, he's turning five soon"
"is that why you're looking for a wife? to look after your son?"
"thats a part of it, yes" he exhales the smoke, he throws an arm around the back of the sofa
"what's the other part?"
"i need a wife and i want someone i can trust around my boy when im not around"
you nod , your eyes look away for the first time.
"do you feel like you can do that?"
you turn back to look at him
"i believe so , yes"
he nods, "are you being forced into this?" he's blunt. it doesn't take a genius to know that you're not happy, that you're reluctant.
"no, i'm not"
"i don't want to marry you if you're unwilling"
"i said i'm not ,didn't i?" you tried to hold back your tongue, but you couldn't
his brow raises at this ,"you don't exactly look like you're content with your decision"
"is this an interrogation?" you ask, stubbing the cigarette on the ashtray that sits on the table. partly because the taste of it made you nauseous, having not had one in years. the other part annoyed and defensive
"i believe its called an introduction" a his face is still stoic, but his voice is betraying him, it's sounds as though he's amused.
you look up, you hate to admit it but you can't deny it. he looks handsome, in his expensive suit, his glasses, his cheek bones. celest was right, at least he is easy on the eyes
"an introduction, aye?"
"hmm"
you just look at eachother, you blink a couple of times, then lean back again.
"its my decision, mr shelby." you try to compose yourself, "it wasn't forced on me,"
he nods again,
"do you 'ave any conditions?"
"i do..." you lick your lips nervously "my father, he's sick"
"i will take care of his medical expenses" he nods before you could finish that sentence
"it would be nice if i could finish my own fucking sentences"
he lets out a dry chuckle, and you take it as a sign to continue
"he's never been properly checked , we don't know what exactly is wrong with 'im" you sigh "my only condition is that 'im and my mother would be looked after, financially and medically."
"they will be"
"i want it in writing" you hesitate but then say it anyways , you don't know if you can trust him, you don't care if you offend him.
he looks at you, his eye travel between yours "alright"
you let out a breath you didn't know you've been holding
-
@tardisloverz , @optimisticsandwichgladiator
#kadwrites#tommy shelby x reader#thomas shelby x reader#thomas shelby imagine#tommy shelby imagine#peaky blinders imagine#peaky blinders fanfiction#tommy shelby fanfiction#thomas shelby fanfiction
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