#we know how i get when i am Plagued with Parallels and Comparisons and Connections

[andoutofharm]

so much (for) stardust was made with the care of a family dinner. It was made meticulously but in a way that showed the love for it instead of the desire for perfection. It was made together, and it was about enjoying the process of making music together. It was made as a celebration of their previous eras and at the same time moving on from them. They savored its creation.

It’s about the two choices you have when faced with the darkness of life and the inevitability of the end: giving in to nihilism or putting nihilism forcefully aside and choosing to make something out of your life and doing what your passions call you to do.

[ilummoss]

One thing I really liked about Mace Windu: Jedi of the Republic is that it is really one long philosophy discussion, mostly concerning the war and the Jedi’s new role in it. It’s also a story about who Mace Windu is (vs how some perceive him).

Most of the discussions are the Jedi speaking amongst themselves, but it also includes some “debates” between Mace and the main villain of the comic, evil-money-grubbing-droid*. Many of these discussions also echo each other or other events in the comic in a way that is either intentional or someone accidentally striking gold.  *(The droids name is technically AD-W4, but honestly evil-money-grubbing-droid fits it way better. This thing makes General Grievous look like he has a healthy outlook on life.)

This is going to get long so buckle up (or blacklist the long post tag). 

The comic starts on a discussion between Ki-Adi Mundi and Mace about the war and the Jedi’s new role in it. This discussion is then (spiritually) continued between other Jedi characters. It follows through the entire comic. 

They continue to discuss how the Jedi strive to lead by example and Mace wonders if it would be easier to guide the Republic down the right path from the front of the battle lines. 

Mace later discusses his doubts with the ugliest Yoda ever painted. (It pains me to think that this is what Yodel/Yodito will look like in just a millennia.) 

Mace and Prosset Dibbs also discuss this very same thing, but here Prosset is the one who brings his doubts to Mace. 

(*Prosset speaks several times about sensing an unease in the force, which is interesting, considering how we know that the Clone Wars is a trap that has just sprung shut around the Jedi.)

Then we have my favourite moment:

A discussion about how they are peacekeepers is literally interupted by the war. We have the entirety of Clone Wars right here. The purpose of the Clone Wars even. This is an important conversation, but the Jedi do not have time for it. Because of the urgency of the war. It’s the worst and I love it.

There are also some good moments between Kit Fisto and Prosset but I’ve discussed those before, so I won’t be going into them as much here. To summarise, Prosset falls into despair over all the people who have died on this planet as a side-effect of the Separatist’s ruthless exploitation of the planets natural resources, and the failure of the Jedi to protect them. 

Prosset then accuses Mace and the Council of having turned their back on the orders teaching and advancing their own agenda (though he is unclear about what said agenda would be), that Mace is fighting this war for his own sake. He then goes even further and accuses the Council of tossing away the lives of this planets inhabitants as collateral, declaring that the true reason behind the mission is a power grab, that they too are aiming at explotating this planet, something we as readers know is false. They were sent there to figure out why the separatists are interested in this place. We have also seen Mace throughout the comic focus on protecting the civilians and trying to find a way to shut down the Separatist operation there, explicitly so that it won’t end up destroying the planet. 

But the confrontation between Prosset and Mace echoes an earlier confrontation between Mace and AD-W4.

This moment follows AD-W4 introducing his motivations* and Mace declaring that the Jedi fight for peace throughout the galaxy (”the greatest cause there is”). It also ties into AD-W4′s misunderstanding of who Mace is, what actually drives him, which eventually leads to his mission there failing. *(Evil-money-grubbing-droid openly states that he is only fighting for money, that he doesn’t care about who’s wrong or right in this conflict, only that the conflict continues so that his services are needed and he can make more money.)

This bit about a void is terribly interesting however, because Mace also speaks about being driven by the need to fill a void in this comic, but not in relation to himself, but to Prosset. 

“I have experienced first hand what insecurity does to men. How a mind warps with it’s obsessive quest to fill the void. With power. With wealth. With lust. With truth.”

Prosset denies it, but he has twisted, warped what is actually happening around him, into something that he can deal with. The Jedi Council have to be bad guys, there has to a conspiracy, because the truth that this is just out of their power and an uncountable amount of innocent people are going to die despite all of them trying their hardest is too much for him to handle.

Prosset also threw out a vague accusation that Mace is fighting this War for himself, something we see again in Mace’s final confrontation with AD-W4. During their fight the droid repeatedly taunts Mace:

“An excuse for your violence. You’re a hypocrite. Perhaps I am force-sensitive myself.”

It is certainly not a flattering picture of Mace Windu these two adversaries paint up. But this confrontation in turn ties into a mission from Mace’s youth which we are introduced to in flashbacks, where Padawan Mace Windu and Jedi Master Cyslin Myr has been sent to a planet suffering under a plague to investigate the disappearance of the Jedi in charge of an outreach temple there. The temple has been taking over be a “Master Drooz” a charlatan exploiting the suffering population, which has left young Mace outraged. 

*(Look at this, more Jedi philosophy. In this comic? What a surprise ^u^)

This moment is pretty clearly here to introduce us to Mace’s struggle with his anger, a characteristic both antagonists of this comic has honed in on. But this anger is connected to how deeply idealistic Mace is at heart, something they miss. As they confront the swindler, Drooz mocks them for what he sees as “squandering” a chance for profit and power whilst Mace’s answer underlines how those things grow pale in comparison to higher goals. 

This confrontation ends on a Palpatine parallel as subtle as a hammer blow to the head. 

This is the last part of the flashback, and it’s positioned right in the scene where Mace finally subdues Prosset, standing above him with his lightsaber pointing down. And then Mace knocks Prosset unconscious and says that he will be brought to the Jedi council. Master Myr’s lesson was heard. 

A fire burns in Mace, that is true. It is something Mace must struggle with and control. But he has learned to keep that fire tempered. He is no longer that hotheaded Padawan, but a disciplined Jedi Master.

The fight between Mace and AD-W4 ends in AD-W4′s defeat, but with evil-money-grubbing-droid gloating that his actual mission was still completed. 

Except AD-W4, like how the fake “Master Drooz” did not understand the Jedi and what drives them, does not understand Mace.

AD-W4 thinks he has Mace figured out, so he missed that Mace was really using himself as a distraction, whilst young Jedi Knight Rissa Mano rigged that ship to explode. As Mace tells AD-W4 during this fight: “Do not mock, nor underestimate, that which you do not understand.”

Mace actually believes in peace. Truly and deeply so. This belief, this want to do good and protect people, is what drives him forward. By believing that Mace was driven foremost by his anger AD-W4 misjudges his entire situation. 

“My righteousness is anything but self-motivated. There is definitive right and wrong. Good and evil.

Mace is going after AD-W4 not because he wants the fight and victory, “the power trip”, but because what evil-money-grubbing-droid is doing is wrong. The destruction he brings to this planet and it’s locals and his very indifference to it, is evil. 

This comic isn’t trying to pretend that Mace Windu is perfect. The very obvious Palpatine parallels reminds us of the moment in his future where Mace will not manage to temper his righteous fury. But this is not yet that point. 

Which brings us one final time back to Prosset. The crux of Prosset’s Fall lies in that this war is horrible and should not exist. The people of this planet should not be hurt and killed by it. 

But, as Mace points out here, it is not up to the Jedi to decide if there will be a war or not*. Peace is already lost. Not fighting will not protect these people.  *(The greatest irony of the Clone Wars is of course that it is an artificial conflict designed to benefit one person solely. There is someone who has decided that there should be a war and has moved everything into place for it. Palpatine could decide to end this any day, but the very core of his character declares that he never will.)

During Mace and Prosset’s fight Rissa is echoing the point Yoda made at the beginning of this comic. If the Jedi don’t keep moving, if they don’t fight, things will get even worse and more will die. 

The Jedi have to move forward and commit fully to their choice, because anything else will get people killed. It’s not about not doubting or questioning, but that sometimes you must move even when there is doubt.

This is the conclusion to the discussion going on throughout this comic. The choice to enter the clone wars wasn’t uncomplicated or easy. The Jedi clearly have great doubt about it, both as an organisation and individuals. But sometimes all you have are bad choices, and the responsibility to choose. 

[queen-yalo]

BNHA | Soulmate AU | November Rain [#1]

A/N: Take two on this! This was the last thing I published on my old blog, a try to find the connection to that blog again - which didn’t work, since I deleted it shortly after and started this blog. Anyway, I still wanna share and finish this story, so here we go again! :) Hope you enjoy!

Pairing: Shoto Todoroki x reader

Chapters: [#1] | [#2]

Warnings: Angst; Fluff-to-be ;3

+++

Soulmates.

What an odd concept.

Two people made for each other. A perfect match. A lifelong bond.

(Name) "met" her soulmate at the age of five. It was the first time she heard that voice in her head that just didn't belong to her. It was... strange. She cried as she heard the desperate screaming and mumbling of the young boy.

Her mother was the one to suspect that it wasn't a mental illness that plagued her daughter. She advised (Name) to just "talk" back the next time she would hear the voice. And as it turned out... it worked. She was still a young child. But she already "found" her soulmate.

It took years for them to find each other again. Communication was still difficult and very random. But at one point they were "talking" to each other regularly. It wasn't much and the conversations weren't deep... but they acknowledged each other at least.

(Name) would have loved to get to know him better. But he... he didn't seem to be interested in his soulmate at all. It hurt. Badly. But there was nothing she could do but hope. Maybe... maybe one day he would change his mind.

Sometimes, he would "talk" to her without realizing that he did. Ranting about his "dear old Dad" and his mother that abandoned and hated him. (Name) felt terrible during those times. Should she tell him that she was listening? Should she do something to make him feel better? In the end... all she always did was listen.

It wasn't until she was ready to attend High School that her soulmate and her started to talk more often. How are you? How was your day? What are you doing right now? Tell me something about you. Your mother did what? I am so sorry. Oh, you're the son of a pro hero? Which one? Endeavor?! Wow. No my parents aren't heroes. Yes, they are good people. Which High School I will attend? UA High School.

"Me, too." Was what he said. Her heart was racing once the words sank into her mind. He... he was going to UA too? Her soulmate... would be at the same school as her? A small spark of hope lit up in her and she couldn't help but squeal in happiness. Maybe... maybe everything would be alright.

"I'm glad we get to be in one class, (Name)-chan." Her friend Momo said happily, hugging her tightly when she saw her in class on the first day. "M-me, too." (Name) laughed as she hugged her friend back. "And... you know who's here, too?" Momo whispered, her cheeks flushed a light pink. "That boy from the entrance exam I told you about." She smiled shyly.

Yes, Momo told (Name) about the boy she met at her entrance exam. The mysterious and powerful boy with the "perfect bi-colored hair" and "beautiful heterochromatic eyes". Momo was head over heels for him. And concerning that she seemed to be one of the few people on earth that did not have a soulmate... (Name) wished that she would be lucky.

Until she got to know the man of interest. He never talked to anybody. He was arrogant. And scary. Aloof.

And her soulmate.

She didn't notice right away. How could she? Shoto Todoroki, as she learned, had one goal and one goal only: Becoming the No. 1 Hero. Being nice and making friends... wasn't part of his agenda.

He changed after his fight with Izuku at the sports festival. He was more sociable and a little talkative... which made Momo giddy 24/7. And (Name) noticed shocking parallels between Shoto and her soulmate... until one day she was certain that the two were one and the same person.

Momo. How could (Name) tell her friend that the boy that she liked... was her soulmate?

The answer was simple: She couldn't. Especially not since Momo didn't have a soulmate. She was hurting because of that... and (Name) wouldn't make it worse by telling her that she had what Momo wanted. She couldn't.

(Name) was lost in thought as she looked at Shoto. They have been in the same class for almost 6 months now... and didn't speak more than a few words during this time. Strange. She always thought that meeting a soulmate would be magical and exciting. But it wasn't.

She knew that Shoto was her soulmate... but she guessed that Shoto wasn't aware of that. Would he even be interested? They haven't communicated via telepathy for a while, too. Both have been so busy that there just wasn't any time for this. Besides, they never were especially close, so it wasn't unusual.

She was ripped out of her thoughts by the strange, yet familiar voice in her head. She found it strange how different his voice sounded in her head, in comparison to his real voice when he was speaking. Was it the same the other way around?

Are you there? He asked. Yes. (Name) answered. I want to meet you.

(Name) tensed up. He wanted to meet her? How come? She asked. We've been in the same school for half a year now and you never showed any interest.

No answer. Did she say too much? Maybe it was better this way. Maybe it wasn't meant to be after all...? Or did she just expect too much?

I know. I'm sorry. He said. The past months have been quite difficult... but I really want to get to know you.

(Name) gulped as she heard Momo answering a question Aizawa-sensei asked her. She bit her lip. "Hey Momo, sorry to tell you this, but the guy you're in love wit, is my soulmate." How fucked up would that be? The thought of facing Momo sent shivers down her spine.

It was cruel. Yes, (Name) was hurt that Shoto was so distant... but she was still quite smitten with him. She would love to get to know her soulmate. She'd love to have a 'fairytale' of her own. But then there was Momo. How could (Name) be happy when Momo was crushed?

She didn't know why she did what she did.

I... I already know who you are... Todoroki-kun.

'Stop.' She told herself. But as usual... she didn't listen.

We are in the same class.

Her gaze wandered to her friend in the back of the class room.

It's me...

(Name) closed her eyes. 'Don't...'

Momo.

[english2121]

Discussion Leader 12/5

Karina

Quote #1: “So don’t expect stars in what’s coming: nothing will twinkle, this is opaque material and by its very nature despised by everyone. That’s because this story lacks a cantabile melody. Its rhythm is sometimes discordant. And it has facts. I suddenly fell for facts without literature--facts are hard stones and action is now more interesting to me than thinking, you can’t get away from facts” (Lispector pg. 8).

Question #1: Based on our previous discussion in class how is this quote representative of postmodern literature?

Quote #2: I do not intend for what I’m about to write to be complex, though I’ll have to use the words that sustain you. The story--I determine with false free will--will have around seven characters and I’m obviously one of the more important. I, Rodrigo S.M. An old tale, this, since I don’t want to be all modern and invent trendy words to make myself look original. So that’s why I’ll try contrary to my normal habits to write a story with a beginning, middle and “grand finale” followed by silence and falling rain” (pg. 5).

Question #2: In this quote the narrator, as a writer, shows consciousness of readers and seems to address them directly. In what tone does he seem to address the readers and their needs? Does this quote seem like a criticism of writing and books? If so in what way?

Quote #3: “Now I want to speak of the northeastern girl. This is what I mean: she like a stray dog was guided exclusively by herself.I too, from one failure to the next have reduced myself to myself by at least I want to encounter the world and it’s God. I’d like to add by the way of information about the young girl and myself, that we live exclusively in the present because it is always eternally today and tomorrow will be a today, eternity is a state of things at this very moment” (pg. 10).

Questions #3: Given our discussion of identity in the postmodern period how does the narrator touch upon this topic in this quote? How does he touch upon collective vs. individual relationship? What may he mean when he says “eternity is a state of things at this very moment”.

Quote #4: “I’m sure of one thing: this narrative will deal with something delicate: the creation of a whole person who surely is as alive as I am. Take care of her because all I can do is show her so you can recognize her on the street, walking lightly because of her quivering thinness. And what if my narrative is sad? Afterwards I’ll surely write something cheerful, though why cheerful? Because I too am a man of hosannas and someday, perhaps, I’ll sing praises instead of the difficulties of the northeastern girl” (pg. 11).

Question #4: What parallels do you think the narrator is trying to draw between himself and “the northeastern girl”? What if any do you think he might be hoping the readers draw between themselves and the character? For what purpose?

Quote #5: “Nothing in her was iridescent, though the parts of her skin between the blotches had a slight opal glow. Not that it mattered. Nobody looked at her on the street , she was like cold coffee. And that’s how time passed for the girl. She blew her nose on the hem of her underwear. She didn’t have that delicate thing called charm. I’m the only one who finds her charming. Only I, her author lover her. I suffer for her. And I’m the only one who can say this: ‘what do you ask of me weeping that I wouldn’t give you singing? That girl didn’t know she was what she was, just as a dog doesn’t know it’s a dog. So she didn’t feel unhappy. The only thing she wanted was to live. She didn’t know for what, she didn’t ask questions. Maybe she thought there was a little bitty glory in living. She thought people had to be happy. So she was. Before her birth was she an idea? Before her birth was she dead? And after her birth she would die?” (pg.19)

Question #5: How have the narrator’s sentiments towards his character changed in comparison to earlier in the book? Can the narrator’s conflicting sentiments towards his character shed light on the postmodern perspective? How so?

Argument:  The book The Hour of the Star contains many of the same questions and uncertainty that plague postmodernism. It is a book that contains more questions than answers. Through the perspective of the narrator we are made to question what writing is? What life is? Is it possible to truly separate the self from what is written? The narrator claims to love the character he is creating and yet at the same time he speaks of her with much disdain, criticizing and belittling her existence, one which he is creating. The complex relationship between narrator and character seem like an introspective examination of life and an active effort to reconcile the parts of oneself that one loves and hates in order to make sense of it all.

Crystal Williams

Quote #1: “If this story doesn’t exist now, it will. Thinking is an act. Feeling is a fact. Put the two together-I am the one writing what I am writing. God is the world. Truth is always an interior and inexplicable contact. My truest life is unrecognizable, extremely interior and there is not a single word that defines it” (Lispector, 1).

Question #1: What is the connection between the truest-self and God as alluded to by Lispector? How does this relate to the genre of Post Modernism? Consider (if you are aware of Winnicott’s concepts) the notion of the true self and the false self. How does that relate to the act of writing and thinking as described by Lispector?

Quote #2: “How do I know everything that’s about to come and that I myself still don’t know, since I have never lived it? Because on a street in Rio de Janeiro I glimpsed in the air the feeling of perdition on the face of a northeastern girl. Not to mention that I as a boy grew up in the northeast. I also know things about things because I am alive. Everyone alive knows, even if they don’t know they know. So you gentlemen know more than you think and are just pretending not to” (Lispector, 2).

Question #2: What does Lispector allude to the duality of humanity and inherent intelligence and knowledge? Are both men and women endowed with the same intelligence, or is there a common truth, or knowledge that transcends gender?

Quote #3:”Could it really be that the action is beyond the word? But when I write-let things be known by their real names. Each thing is a word and when there is no word it is invented. This is your God who commanded us to invent” (Lispector, 8)”

Question #3: Who or what is God as described by Lispector? What is her connection to God? Would you consider her writing, or writing in general to be a divine act?

Consider: John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

Quote #4: “The fact is I hold a destiny in my hands yet don’t feel powerful enough to invent freely: I follow a hidden, fatal line” (Lispector, 12).

Question#4: What is the fatal line that Lispector speaks on? How is it possible for her to feel powerless in a world that she created? Could this apply to us in our daily lives?

Quote #5: In her little superstitious imaginings, she thought that if by any chance she ever got a nice good taste of living- she’d suddenly cease to be the princess she was and be transformed into vermin. Because, no matter how bad her situation, she didn’t want to be deprived of herself, she wanted to be herself. She thought she’d incur serious punishment and even risk dying if she took out too much pleasure in life. So she protected herself from death by living less, consuming so little of her life that she’d never run out. This savings gave her a little security since you can’t fall farther than the ground” (Lispector, 24).

“Clarice Lispector was a great artist; she was also a middle-class wife and mother. If the portrait of the extraordinary artist is fascinating, so is the portrait of the ordinary housewife, whose life is the subject of her stories. As the artist matures, the housewife, too, grows older. When Lispector is a defiant adolescent filled with a sense of her own potential—artistic, intellectual, sexual—so are the girls in her stories. When, in her own life, marriage and motherhood take the place of precocious childhood, her characters grow up, too. When her marriage fails, when her children leave, these departures appear in her stories. When the author, once so gloriously beautiful, sees her body blemished by wrinkles and fat, her characters see the same decline in theirs; and when she confronts the final unravelling of age and sickness and death, they appear in her fiction as well” (The New Yorker, Web).

“Escaping the Jewish pogroms that were part of life in Ukraine and other parts of the Russian Empire in the late 19th–early 20th century, Lispector at age five immigrated with her parents and two older sisters to Brazil. There her mother died some four years later of syphilis, contracted from a group of Russian soldiers who had raped her” (Britannica, Web).

Question #5: With her life experiences in mind, do you feel that the northeastern girl described in the text is a facet of Lispector’s being? Why or why not? How would her experiences with the war, death and poverty shape her work and her views of the world?

Argument: Lispector argues that knowledge and experience are intricately linked to humanity and not gender. She as an author, transcends the trap of being pigeon-holed into a female narrative. Lispector is an unbiased omnipresent force who paints The Hour of The Star in trials, meaning she is writing, living and experiencing the story at the same time through different planes of existence. It is within these realms that Lispector explores the ideas of Winnicott and Freud, illuminating the theories of the true-self and false self, day-dreaming and the act of play.

Argument: Lispector in her writing uses the spark of The All (the ever creating entity, otherwise known as “God”) to conduct interrupted play that allows her to know who or what she is. Her form of play, seamless bouncing from introspective interpretations of both male and female further gives support to the notion of Lispector’s “God-self” in her writing. Writing is considered an act of creation, and this act gives her power and agency in the world of The Hour Of The Star.